1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: A Dude's fiance plans to wear her late husband's wedding 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:10,320 Speaker 1: ring on a chain around her neck during the wedding 3 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:15,520 Speaker 1: ceremony to the new guy. So her husband is dead okay, 4 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,560 Speaker 1: and she's going to she wants to wear the wedding ring. 5 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:23,800 Speaker 1: I guess his wedding ring that from when they were 6 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: married before he died, around her neck when she marries 7 00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:29,280 Speaker 1: another guy, the next guy. 8 00:00:29,760 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 2: Okay. 9 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: She says it's a quiet tribute to the guy she 10 00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: once loved, who passed away in a tragic car accident 11 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:38,000 Speaker 1: five years ago. She believes the laws shaped who she 12 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 1: is today and wants to carry that part of her 13 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: past into the new chapter. But her fiance's not feeling 14 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,519 Speaker 1: great about him. He says it makes him feel like 15 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: he's sharing the most important day of his life with 16 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: someone who isn't there, and like he's somehow second place. 17 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: And people on the forum are torn. Some stood with 18 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: the groom, saying the wedding should be about the new relationship, 19 00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,800 Speaker 1: not the old one. Other's suggested a compromise, like a 20 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:06,319 Speaker 1: symbolic gesture instead of wearing the ring. I would if 21 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:09,479 Speaker 1: I'm being one percent transparent, if I'm keeping it on 22 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 1: on the reel, one hundred percent on the one. 23 00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 2: If I'm being one hundred with you. 24 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,720 Speaker 1: Okay, please, I'm gonna be one hundred with you as 25 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,040 Speaker 1: opposed to the ninety nine I usually am. I'm gonna 26 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 1: be one hundred. I wouldn't like him. I wouldn't like him. 27 00:01:21,560 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: I wouldn't like it. You wouldn't be either. 28 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:26,800 Speaker 2: No, I would not. Okay, good because you're. 29 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:28,920 Speaker 1: Like, yeah, I know, I know, Fred, I know Fred, 30 00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,760 Speaker 1: You weak, little, weak little nugget. 31 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 2: No. No, can you imagine if Hobby. 32 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 1: In Vegas at the wedding had a ring around his 33 00:01:38,959 --> 00:01:41,280 Speaker 1: neck of a that he came to another woman who's dead. 34 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 2: See, okay, I have compassion. You would not. 35 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,800 Speaker 3: No, I'm upset. I'd be bothered for sure. But like, 36 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 3: it's sad if that person tragically died. 37 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 2: I mean that's awful. 38 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:55,840 Speaker 1: Nobody's saying that's not sad or awful, but like, yeah, 39 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: why are we I mean you're marrying me now? Like 40 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 1: this day be about us? 41 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 2: Correct? 42 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: Why are we still reflecting on this person? I'm sorry 43 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:07,640 Speaker 1: this person died. I'm sorry this person is not in 44 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:09,959 Speaker 1: your life anymore. But the feeling that it would give 45 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 1: me is and It's pretty clear. If that dude weren't dead, 46 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be standing here. You never would have chosen me, 47 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,440 Speaker 1: This wouldn't even obviously, this wouldn't even be happening. True. 48 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 2: Yes, well, I know that, but I don't think to 49 00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,720 Speaker 2: be reminded of that. I don't know. 50 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 1: I don't need to be reminded of the person that 51 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,840 Speaker 1: I'm marrying now and committing to the rest of my 52 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: life with would probably rather be with someone else if 53 00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:29,919 Speaker 1: they weren't dead. 54 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 4: Yeah, it takes a special kind of person to be 55 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 4: with a widow. I don't think everyone can do it. 56 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 4: But I'm in a similar situation. Actually, one of the 57 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,359 Speaker 4: bachelorettes I have coming up, her previous boyfriend passed away 58 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,480 Speaker 4: and it was tragic, and his mom wants to pay 59 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:46,720 Speaker 4: for something on her bachelorette for a new guy. She's 60 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 4: getting married to a new guy and her mom, her 61 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 4: former boyfriend's mom, wants to pay for something for us, 62 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:52,520 Speaker 4: like a table or a night. 63 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:53,079 Speaker 2: When we go out. 64 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,839 Speaker 4: Yeah, and but some of my friends, which I don't 65 00:02:55,840 --> 00:02:57,520 Speaker 4: think it was their place to say, are like, no, 66 00:02:57,639 --> 00:03:00,919 Speaker 4: completely unacceptable, Like that's you should be doing that, Like 67 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 4: your fiance is going to be upset and I, I 68 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,200 Speaker 4: don't know, I thought that that was kind of wild. 69 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, thinking too. 70 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:10,480 Speaker 1: It's kind of interesting, like I'm gonna pay for you 71 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:11,680 Speaker 1: guys to go ahead and get hammered. 72 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,799 Speaker 2: Yeah, for they did the best of the wedding. Dude. 73 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 4: Yeah, But she, like I guess, feels like this is 74 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 4: the closest she's going to get to, Like I don't know, 75 00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:20,959 Speaker 4: her son getting married, I don't know. 76 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:23,320 Speaker 2: She's like happy for her. She still talks to her. 77 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 2: So it is, but it is interesting, that's nice. It's something. 78 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,919 Speaker 2: It'sn't even marrying a widow like U. It's not even. 79 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:34,040 Speaker 1: It's not even so much that it's it's okay, I'm 80 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 1: marrying a widow. So I'm already aware that you were 81 00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:39,400 Speaker 1: fully in love with another guy. I actually just happened 82 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: to a family member of mine, and I've never discussed 83 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: it with her. I've discussed it with her family though, 84 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 1: And this dude. Sadly, when on a business trip the 85 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: company had private jets. There were two private jets. Everybody 86 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: piled in one or the other. There was no rhyme 87 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: or reason one made it the other one didn't, and 88 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: so there was I don't know the inside of their relationship, 89 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,800 Speaker 1: but from what I understand, they and they were relatively 90 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: newly married, like everything was fine, you know, and then 91 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 1: he's gone, right, so she moved on married another guy, 92 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:07,840 Speaker 1: had kids with them, everything's great, and I wonder, like 93 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,680 Speaker 1: I wonder, does that guy ever lay up at night 94 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: and be like, man, you know, if that dude hadn't 95 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,240 Speaker 1: tragically died, like I wouldn't even be here. I wouldn't 96 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:16,919 Speaker 1: have my kids, I wouldn't have any of this. Like 97 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,600 Speaker 1: maybe I would have had it with somebody else, but 98 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:22,719 Speaker 1: like that, I'm admitting that's an insecurity, but that would 99 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: get to me, I think, But but it's that that's life. 100 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 2: But now I got it. 101 00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 1: Now you've got to have like something tangible with you 102 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:31,760 Speaker 1: at the wedding. To me, I'm trying to really like 103 00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 1: sure resemble him, like guys we're moving on like right. 104 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:39,000 Speaker 3: At the wedding, probably not see if Hobby did that, 105 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 3: we wouldn't beat the little white wedding chapel. I think 106 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 3: we'd be honestly in therapy to work through that because 107 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:44,800 Speaker 3: it's like, why would you want to include that on 108 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:45,480 Speaker 3: your special day? 109 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:46,919 Speaker 2: Are you really ready to do this? 110 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,719 Speaker 1: If we're still reflecting on the best I guess that 111 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:49,479 Speaker 1: would be my question. 112 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 4: Have anything from their previous you know, marriage or like 113 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 4: a photo or anything. 114 00:04:54,560 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 2: I mean, and how it exists, like we could put 115 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:57,359 Speaker 2: them away. 116 00:04:57,480 --> 00:04:59,360 Speaker 3: I'm not saying I don't want them, you know, like plastered, 117 00:04:59,360 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 3: I'm the living wall when you walk in. Probably not, 118 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,479 Speaker 3: but I would still understand that this happened. Like you said, 119 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 3: it's a part of his history, right, I mean she 120 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 3: didn't do anything to me. 121 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 2: I mean she passed away. 122 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:11,719 Speaker 3: Right, Theoretically, in this theory, we're doing like she passed away, 123 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 3: and I don't want him to forget her. But on 124 00:05:14,040 --> 00:05:17,080 Speaker 3: our special day, probably not. This is today is about 125 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,719 Speaker 3: us because you're loving a not complete person. I feel 126 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 3: like at that point, like a part of their heart will. 127 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 4: Always be with the spouse that they thought they were 128 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:24,719 Speaker 4: going to spend the rest of their life with. 129 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:25,720 Speaker 2: And that's totally fair. 130 00:05:25,839 --> 00:05:27,560 Speaker 3: But like you know, on our special day, at least 131 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,440 Speaker 3: you know it's my wedding too, right, it's a two 132 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:35,040 Speaker 3: people event. It's you know, because for yourself, I watched 133 00:05:35,040 --> 00:05:38,680 Speaker 3: that it can be a multiple person events where you live. 134 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,279 Speaker 2: You know it could be correct, it can be. But 135 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 2: my mind. For example, here we two of. 136 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:46,800 Speaker 4: Us, right, That's why I'm saying I don't think everyone 137 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:48,040 Speaker 4: can handle that situation. 138 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,880 Speaker 2: I really don't think that I agree, just my opinion. 139 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:52,719 Speaker 1: I mean, what, Jason, you're over here with this look 140 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,119 Speaker 1: on your face of disgust, like honestly, like, okay, So, 141 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:58,400 Speaker 1: so Mike the mechanic wants to marry you, and he's like, hey, 142 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,120 Speaker 1: but this dude I hooked up with on grinder a 143 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:02,039 Speaker 1: while ago, like, I need I need to make sure 144 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 1: that I he left his chain in my house. 145 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:09,000 Speaker 2: It's a little different, but for multiple years. Okay. 146 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: But honestly, though, do you want a person who is 147 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: who is essentially you're replacing them? I mean, okay, okay, 148 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:23,880 Speaker 1: imagine this, imagine imagine okay, you're you're my beloved coworker, right, 149 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: you're my beloved co worker. God forbid, I hate this example, 150 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: but God forbid you decide I'm going to I'm I'm 151 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,200 Speaker 1: gonna move on. I'm going to go and be Britney 152 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:37,200 Speaker 1: Spears's manager. And everyone's happy, well sort of happy for you. Yeah, 153 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 1: I mean, like it's a little late in the game 154 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 1: for that, but you know, still, Okay, so you're gonna 155 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,120 Speaker 1: be Britney Spears's manager. We're also happy for you. We're 156 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:45,480 Speaker 1: clapping or whatever, and then you know, it's it's a 157 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 1: wonderful it's a wonderful biting like, you know, here's to 158 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: the jolly goodfellow whatever. 159 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 2: Okay, So then we have to replace you. Sadly, it's terrible. 160 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: But we have a picture of you right there in 161 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,960 Speaker 1: your chair that stares at the new person every single 162 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,200 Speaker 1: and it says, we miss so we miss you so much, 163 00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,440 Speaker 1: Jason Brown, you know, to the greatest person to ever 164 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,479 Speaker 1: sit in this chair, Jason Brown, you know. And the 165 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: new person has to sit there and stare at that 166 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 1: all morning. I mean, it might be true, but what 167 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,760 Speaker 1: I'm saying is nobody wants that daily reminder that like 168 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 1: there was somebody greater than me here. 169 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:24,760 Speaker 5: That's completely it is not at all. It is completely different. 170 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 5: This is someone passed away. I didn't die, but you're 171 00:07:30,960 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 5: not here anymore. I'm even crazier people I've somehow found them. 172 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:47,400 Speaker 5: But that's so different. There's nothing like I can't even 173 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:50,680 Speaker 5: imagine the pain of losing a spouse. So I look 174 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:53,240 Speaker 5: at I have I have not been through that. There 175 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,120 Speaker 5: I cannot say one single thing about how you deal 176 00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:57,520 Speaker 5: with it. 177 00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 2: That pain is. 178 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:05,240 Speaker 5: Like I can even think about how that makes you 179 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 5: feel like you can feel all you want, but I 180 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 5: would have to be fine with It's not like it's competition. 181 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 1: He's gone, Yeah, but don't. Don't my feelings about this matter. 182 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,640 Speaker 1: I'm marrying you now. It's about me now, it's not 183 00:08:16,680 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: about that person. I'm so sorry for what happened. But 184 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,640 Speaker 1: I feel like if we're honoring your ex husband at 185 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:25,000 Speaker 1: your new wedding, I mean, listen to that sentence, that doesn't. 186 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,000 Speaker 5: Say anything about the grief and how she deals with it. 187 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 5: I'm sorry, absolutely my opinion. You didn't, you know, go 188 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,720 Speaker 5: through that. She did, So whatever she needs to do 189 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 5: to feel better, that's what she gets to do. 190 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, at your wedding. At your wedding, you're going to 191 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,199 Speaker 1: honor another. 192 00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:41,800 Speaker 2: Jason. 193 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 5: If someone died that they were married to, who am 194 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 5: I to say? 195 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:51,520 Speaker 2: You don't get too honestly, the new husband, It doesn't matter. Goodness, 196 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,320 Speaker 2: pain quiet over here. 197 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 6: Oh, because I was trying to figure out whose side 198 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:58,479 Speaker 6: I'm on today. 199 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,520 Speaker 2: I want to be that's the coin. Yeah, there's the 200 00:09:00,559 --> 00:09:05,560 Speaker 2: right side today, the monster right, It's welcome it's nice 201 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,439 Speaker 2: over here because it is dead. 202 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:11,400 Speaker 6: So like, literally, they're never going to be your competition, 203 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,480 Speaker 6: competing with the goal. 204 00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 7: Never. 205 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:16,040 Speaker 2: I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. 206 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,240 Speaker 1: I think if a person is still honoring their ex 207 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 1: husband at the wedding to the new person, you are 208 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,040 Speaker 1: constantly being compared to that. 209 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 6: First of all, it's just I'm wearing change, a symbol 210 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:29,760 Speaker 6: of somebody I love that has passed on. 211 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,199 Speaker 2: Yes, it, I. 212 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,199 Speaker 4: Mean for you would have to walk away, like if 213 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,760 Speaker 4: it bother you, then you would have to say, listen, 214 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:36,440 Speaker 4: this is not for me. 215 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,480 Speaker 2: I can't handle that. She's not wearing his chain, she's 216 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 2: wearing his wedding ring neck. Oh my god. 217 00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,679 Speaker 1: Yes, now she can keep it. I don't melt it down. 218 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,440 Speaker 1: I'm not trying to do I'm not trying to destroy 219 00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,120 Speaker 1: the human being. I mean, I'm we're moving on, We're 220 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:59,080 Speaker 1: moving on to Cleveland. Hey, Roberta, Roberta, how you doing? 221 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 2: What did you want to? This is nuts? You guys 222 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:02,360 Speaker 2: are crazy. 223 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,440 Speaker 8: I agree with me either. Why why is he like 224 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 8: why is he comparing himself to a ghost? Like why 225 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,439 Speaker 8: did you feel like he's in competition with him? 226 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:11,680 Speaker 9: Like she knew what he was. 227 00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,199 Speaker 7: Getting me in to. 228 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:14,959 Speaker 8: He knew that she was a widow, and he knew 229 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 8: that she loved that she loved him. 230 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 2: But isn't the memory enough? 231 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 7: Think? 232 00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 8: I mean, it's bud what, Roberta, are you married? 233 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,000 Speaker 2: Are you married? Yes? 234 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: Would you have been okay with your husband honoring another 235 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:34,760 Speaker 1: woman who he was previously married to at his wedding 236 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 1: to you? Come on, Roberta, come on, there's a time 237 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,120 Speaker 1: and a place for this stuff. I'm not saying his memory. 238 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that it wasn't They're not. It's a 239 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 1: fun time in your life. But I mean, so you 240 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:47,440 Speaker 1: tell me when I when I take your clothes off 241 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:48,600 Speaker 1: at end of the night, I gotta look at the 242 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:50,960 Speaker 1: wedding ring of the dude from before. 243 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:56,520 Speaker 8: It's like a tattoo if somebody had a tattoo, you 244 00:10:56,559 --> 00:10:59,920 Speaker 8: know what, or the tramp stamps, you know, like it's 245 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 8: a little reminder. But why are you like he. 246 00:11:02,559 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 1: Knew who's getting a tramp stamp with him? 247 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,240 Speaker 2: Roberto? What kind of tattoos you got? I'm worried about you. 248 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:10,600 Speaker 9: I got a lot. 249 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:12,360 Speaker 2: How you doing? 250 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:15,880 Speaker 8: So? You know that some women get their their spousor's 251 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 8: names on them, although they shouldn't. But you know, it's 252 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:22,480 Speaker 8: so it's like that, but like this person is dead, 253 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:25,559 Speaker 8: Like why is he trying to like why is he 254 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,560 Speaker 8: trying to compete with him? 255 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:27,480 Speaker 7: Right? 256 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 2: Why am I being reminded of him? 257 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,520 Speaker 1: I guess it's going to be hard enough to just 258 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:37,000 Speaker 1: came on's original point. The amount of trauma that must 259 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: you know, that you must endure to process something like 260 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,120 Speaker 1: that is extreme, like and there's no one questioning that. 261 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: But I guess I would wonder if we're doing that, 262 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,440 Speaker 1: are you really ready for me? I guess would be 263 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: the question that I would be asked. 264 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:54,319 Speaker 8: But do you not think that they had the conversation beforehand? 265 00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:57,800 Speaker 8: Like I'm sure that he was aware that he meant 266 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 8: something really special to her because that was her be 267 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,520 Speaker 8: at some point, so he should have had that in 268 00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 8: the back of his mind before he asked her to 269 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:05,760 Speaker 8: marry him. 270 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, but he also he's gone to read it because 271 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,080 Speaker 1: he feels a little shocked by this gesture, like he 272 00:12:11,080 --> 00:12:11,640 Speaker 1: didn't see this. 273 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,840 Speaker 8: He's a man, he doesn't know how to communicate. 274 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,560 Speaker 2: I mean, he wrote very clearly. I read it so. 275 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:20,200 Speaker 1: Day. 276 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,000 Speaker 2: I don't think anyone's saying that you don't honor what was. 277 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: I just don't know if that's the time and the 278 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 1: place and the way to manifest him, because because I 279 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,880 Speaker 1: do think you also have to consider how it makes 280 00:12:31,880 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 1: the person you're marrying feel. 281 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 2: That person's feelings matter too in this but the grief 282 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,800 Speaker 2: that comes with losing a spouse. 283 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,120 Speaker 6: And then I'm back at this wedding place where I 284 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 6: only saw this for my past husband, so it's like 285 00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:45,440 Speaker 6: it's something that made me makes her feel safe in 286 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 6: that moment to like I'm doing this again. I'm trying 287 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,199 Speaker 6: to love again without the fear of losing this person again. 288 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:52,720 Speaker 6: It's just a little sense of comfort, like a blanky. 289 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 6: I cannot bring my blanket, like you know, why is your. 290 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:58,960 Speaker 2: Dead husband your comfort? I'm your comfort. 291 00:12:58,280 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 4: It tastes a special and it's okay, Like everybody's feelings 292 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:03,200 Speaker 4: are valid. 293 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 6: If it's not working for you, that's okay, that's okay period. 294 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: Okay to want to Hi, Hi, Hey, so sad that 295 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,000 Speaker 1: you were in a situation like this, and I am 296 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 1: sorry that you encountered this. 297 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:19,000 Speaker 9: Thank you. I was with someone for ten years. We 298 00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 9: had three boys together, and unfortunately he passed away and 299 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:27,319 Speaker 9: about fourish, almost five years later, I met someone out 300 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,679 Speaker 9: we were married. My system off from my previous marriage 301 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:35,160 Speaker 9: was my matrod of honor. Her husband helped pay for 302 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:40,040 Speaker 9: our limo, and we're still very active in each other's lives. 303 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:44,200 Speaker 9: We go on vacations together with each other's families and everything. 304 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,920 Speaker 9: So I think it just depends on how mature you 305 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:51,679 Speaker 9: take the situation. I'm sure that my husband probably feels 306 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,719 Speaker 9: a certain way, but because we have children together, he 307 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,880 Speaker 9: just wanted to give them as much love as he 308 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 9: could doing if they had a loss. So I just 309 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 9: think that sometimes you have to think about that person 310 00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 9: is all over with you, and if it was you 311 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 9: that passed away, would you want your wife to forget 312 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,640 Speaker 9: about you and never ever think about you ever again? No, 313 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,959 Speaker 9: I think that's hard to say if you haven't been 314 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:16,720 Speaker 9: in a situation. 315 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:19,280 Speaker 1: No to what, I wouldn't, But I also I wouldn't. 316 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,160 Speaker 1: I guess I can tell you I wouldn't expect to 317 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 1: be honored in any way at her wedding to another man. 318 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:26,320 Speaker 1: I don't think that's the time and the place. I'm 319 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,520 Speaker 1: not saying that you shouldn't be friends with your I 320 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 1: mean everything that you just said is completely reasonable. You 321 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 1: have kids in a family. You didn't ask for any 322 00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 1: of this, that's all reasonable. I just don't know why. 323 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,480 Speaker 1: You know, we have the ice sculpture of the man 324 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: at the rehearsal, like I don't know, Like I don't know, 325 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:41,840 Speaker 1: we don't we don't need to do that, you know 326 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,240 Speaker 1: what I mean? 327 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 9: Yeah, I sculpture might be a little much. 328 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I mean. 329 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 9: She wanted to wear the necklace. I mean maybe not 330 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,680 Speaker 9: on her neck per se, but maybe intertwining in her 331 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:56,920 Speaker 9: garter or something like that. I mean, I don't know. 332 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,040 Speaker 1: I don't think we needed any closest to the virgin 333 00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:04,600 Speaker 1: than just think there's a time and a place. But hey, 334 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: and thank you for sharing. And I'm sorry that happened 335 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: to you. And I appreciate your perspective. 336 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 9: Your friend, and I hope that everything turned out great 337 00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:12,240 Speaker 9: for her. 338 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,160 Speaker 2: Thank you so much. 339 00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 1: Luckily I don't know this person, because if I did, 340 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,080 Speaker 1: I wouldn't I would be uninvited to the wedding. 341 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,240 Speaker 2: Hey, Kyle, how you doing? Good morning? 342 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: Hey? Turn the radio down, Kyle, please, Okay, there you go. 343 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:26,960 Speaker 1: Hey man, what do you want to say? Go ahead? 344 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,000 Speaker 7: Hey, I'm just saying I agree with you. I mean 345 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,880 Speaker 7: the guy unfortunately he passed away. But at the same time, 346 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,880 Speaker 7: like he don't need to remember that at my wedding 347 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:40,000 Speaker 7: because hey, this is my day, Like why you take 348 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:41,560 Speaker 7: my tign off of me? And no, it's not about 349 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 7: being a competition or anything. But how would you feel 350 00:15:44,600 --> 00:15:47,560 Speaker 7: if I wore my ex wife's ringing and she passed away, 351 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 7: You're gonna have a whole fee. Yeah. 352 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 1: I don't think that would go over very well with 353 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 1: very many people. But thank you, Kyle, have a good day. 354 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,680 Speaker 1: I appreciate you. No, but somebody said, here's the thing 355 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 1: somebody said on here. What did they say, Fred isn't 356 00:15:58,840 --> 00:16:00,760 Speaker 1: ready to marry a widow because he's not accepting it 357 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 1: for fully. First of all, I don't know what you're 358 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,760 Speaker 1: talking about. That is it is case by case. I'm 359 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,720 Speaker 1: talking about a particular case where it seems like a 360 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: woman is not necessarily over her previous marriage. That's what 361 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:12,440 Speaker 1: it seems like to me. But I don't think we're 362 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:14,760 Speaker 1: considering the other side of this. I think we're only 363 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,200 Speaker 1: considering the needs of this woman. Okay, because as a 364 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 1: guy who has dated people who have lost their previous 365 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:26,920 Speaker 1: significant other, I'm accepting of that person's situation. But I 366 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:29,280 Speaker 1: think that person needs to be accepting of mine, which 367 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:33,160 Speaker 1: is that I'm going to be insecure about this man 368 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 1: that you loved and didn't do anything wrong. This isn't 369 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:38,720 Speaker 1: a breakup, this isn't a divorce. I mean, you know, 370 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 1: everything was fine and then they were gone, and that 371 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:45,040 Speaker 1: is awful, right, But like that's going to be difficult 372 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: for me too, So why why are we Why do 373 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,560 Speaker 1: we have to put that in my face on that day? 374 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,680 Speaker 1: I guess it'll be the question that I'm asking because 375 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,120 Speaker 1: as much as I am going to be obviously i'm 376 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 1: marrying you, I'm accepting of of whatever you've been through. 377 00:16:58,600 --> 00:17:00,680 Speaker 1: I think you also have to accept the fact that, wow, 378 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:03,400 Speaker 1: I wouldn't even be here if that hadn't happened. And 379 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:08,440 Speaker 1: you know, that's a significant relationship that ended with zero closure. 380 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:11,879 Speaker 4: Did they say how long she had been widowed before 381 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,640 Speaker 4: they started to get marry. 382 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:15,960 Speaker 1: It didn't say. And by the way, someone says that 383 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,119 Speaker 1: screams insecurity. Yeah, I said that from the beginning. 384 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,159 Speaker 2: It does. I'm insecure about it. I'm very honest. I'm 385 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,440 Speaker 2: telling you. I know it's an unpopular opinion. I'm just 386 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,480 Speaker 2: telling you what I think and I respect that. I 387 00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,119 Speaker 2: respect that. I mean, I think we should all be 388 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:29,520 Speaker 2: able to say our opinion. That's okay. 389 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:30,960 Speaker 1: I did say from the beginning when I told you 390 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:35,760 Speaker 1: I was keeping it on the reel. It's an unpopular opinion, 391 00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,440 Speaker 1: and you guys can cli on me all day, but 392 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:39,040 Speaker 1: that's what I think. Oh, I havelf agree with you, 393 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,080 Speaker 1: and it would be it would absolutely be an insecurity. 394 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,280 Speaker 4: Absolutely it would be because I don't know if you 395 00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,479 Speaker 4: ever get over that, because it wasn't there's no closure, 396 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,520 Speaker 4: there wasn't any problem. Yeah, so it's like you say, 397 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,119 Speaker 4: she's not over it. I wonder if you ever do. 398 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,600 Speaker 4: I mean, who knows. I couldn't speak on it. 399 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,920 Speaker 2: But let's do the biggest stories of the day. Next. 400 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,639 Speaker 1: God got Bruno mars Now back in three It's the 401 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:01,160 Speaker 1: French show.