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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 3: We wanted to do something that highlighted our.

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Speaker 2: Relationship and what it's like to be siblings. We are sibling.

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Speaker 1: Railval No, no, sibling. You don't do that with your mouth, revelry.

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Speaker 2: That's good, all right. I am back another episode with

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Speaker 2: Teddy Mellencamp, going back to this sort of your anxiety.

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Speaker 2: You know, I've dealt with that all my life. I'm

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Speaker 2: on lexapro you know right now.

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Speaker 3: Cheers, Yeah, yeah, it's actually for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and uh, you know it's not a depressant, but

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Speaker 2: it was. It's more for anxiety for me, you know,

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Speaker 2: than it is sort of depressive state. But would you

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Speaker 2: say that it's no matter if you're on medication or not,

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Speaker 2: like it is. It is a constant battle. Meaning I'm

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Speaker 2: not saying that it's debilitating, but that anxiety rears its

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Speaker 2: head for you. I'm asking does it you know all

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Speaker 2: the time day every day? Right? You just kind of

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Speaker 2: have the tools to sort of figure it out or

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Speaker 2: know what it is.

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Speaker 3: Now I can wake up and have that moment of

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Speaker 3: realization like your Teddy, whatever your hypotheticals you're going through

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Speaker 3: right now you are, you're creating them. You know what

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Speaker 3: you can do to make it better? Or you can

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Speaker 3: sit in here and keep scrolling on Instagram or doing

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Speaker 3: whatever it is that you're doing that's not helping. Or

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Speaker 3: you can go move your body, or go in the

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Speaker 3: cold plunge, or see a friend or whatever it may be,

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Speaker 3: or tell somebody I'm anxious today, Like those are things

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Speaker 3: I never would have done before.

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Speaker 2: How does your anxiety man fest? Because everyone's a little different,

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Speaker 2: you know, I mean, I mean different throughout the years.

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Speaker 2: Like when I was in my twenties, I was fucking gnarly,

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Speaker 2: but it was stomach like I would I'd throw up everywhere.

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Speaker 2: You know, it changed for me.

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Speaker 3: Mine is so like I pick so like I'll pick

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Speaker 3: up my thumbs like my sister does it too, so

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Speaker 3: like we'll even send pictures back and forth.

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Speaker 2: I'll be like, how booked up?

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Speaker 3: Why are you this week? It's like pretty booked and

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Speaker 3: it's like our bloody cuticles, you know, like me, yeah,

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Speaker 3: so I know it's starting when I'm like that, but

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Speaker 3: then I can't sleep, and then I run through hypotheticals

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Speaker 3: in my head about like it's weird even though I've

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Speaker 3: had all this cancer stuff. It's not really about dying.

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Speaker 3: It's like did I fuck up here? Or did I?

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Speaker 3: Is this person mad at me? Like I'm always overthinking

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Speaker 3: every interaction that I've had, And.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's crazy because we're essentially creating pain physical

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Speaker 2: mental pain with things that have already happened that are gone,

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Speaker 2: and ruminating or projecting and catastrophizing with something that hasn't

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Speaker 2: even happened yet. Yeah, isn't it. And most of the.

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Speaker 3: Time, once it does happen, right, it's not even that bad.

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Speaker 2: No, not at all. It's like all theout what ifs

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Speaker 2: that will go in your head and then you I'm

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Speaker 2: a very specific, detailed person, so I will play out

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Speaker 2: these scenarios in like heavy, heavy detail, and then all

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Speaker 2: of a sudden, I am anxious and I'm like, oh

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Speaker 2: my god, I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, dude?

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Speaker 2: Like this hasn't even happened yet, You're creating this scenario.

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Speaker 3: And then I create a certain amount of pressure, like

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Speaker 3: in my orbit because of that anxiety. So then like,

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Speaker 3: you know, I put people in positions in my business

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Speaker 3: or my life or whatever it may be, that you know,

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Speaker 3: manage to but then I start micromanaging everybody because I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 3: I feel if I could really micromanage the situation, all

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Speaker 3: feel better.

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Speaker 2: I don't. That's what.

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Speaker 3: Then it creates more anxieties. I'm like, I didn't really

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Speaker 3: need to do that. They're really great at their job.

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Speaker 3: I don't need to riding them the way that I

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Speaker 3: was today. And then I have to be like, hey, sorry,

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Speaker 3: I should lived a.

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Speaker 2: Little bit over the top. Yeah, I know, how did

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Speaker 2: that affect you know, your relationships or your husband and

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Speaker 2: your marriage and you know a relationship with your kids

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Speaker 2: early on when you were sort of going through it,

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Speaker 2: you know, with some postpartum stuff, you know, with all

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Speaker 2: of you know, I mean, was he was it? Did

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Speaker 2: a fuck it up? Was it ever on ice? Was

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Speaker 2: it just sort of like ocean?

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Speaker 3: It was definitely on ice? After So I have my

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Speaker 3: daughter who's eleven, and then my son who's ten, and

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Speaker 3: you know, it definitely right after my son. I was

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Speaker 3: just it was so bad. And then I tried to

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Speaker 3: control every little thing that Edwin did. And I need

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Speaker 3: you home by five thirty from for dinner, and I

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Speaker 3: need this and I need that, and I will if

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Speaker 3: you don't do this it means that you don't love

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Speaker 3: me or like whatever, Like there was just this certain

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Speaker 3: amount and he was like, hold on, I've always been

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Speaker 3: the same guy, Like I'm an entrepreneur, like I worked

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Speaker 3: blah blah blah, and like then we just always had

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Speaker 3: this pushback or he'd be there at the time i'd say,

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Speaker 3: but you could tell he's like, Okay, you know, like

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Speaker 3: is this really not I know, you didn't grow up

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Speaker 3: in a household that they ate dinner together every single night,

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Speaker 3: but like is this really what we wanted? And it

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Speaker 3: took us getting like I mean, we had a really

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Speaker 3: really bad time, like you know, trusts were broken, like

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Speaker 3: things were not good for us ultimately to have the

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Speaker 3: conversation to fight for each other and be like, hey,

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Speaker 3: all right, let's set up some new boundaries. Let's figure

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Speaker 3: out Like one, I needed to find my purpose other

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Speaker 3: than being a mother. I love being a mom, it's amazing,

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Speaker 3: but I needed to find what I loved and so

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Speaker 3: it was my business. It was all of these things.

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Speaker 3: It was finding myself, the show. All of these things helped.

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Speaker 3: But then also like, let's set up our thing. I'm like, listen,

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Speaker 3: actually I don't need you at home every night by

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Speaker 3: five o'clock. But what I do need is I don't

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Speaker 3: want to like if you want to go see your

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Speaker 3: friends or you want to do whatever, I don't. There's

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Speaker 3: no seven hour golf game on Saturday. You know that,

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Speaker 3: Like you you want to see your friends, you want

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Speaker 3: to do that, Like these are the these are your

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Speaker 3: time frames do it and vice versa. And if you

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Speaker 3: want to have those moments, we have to discuss that

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Speaker 3: with each other because I don't want to feel like

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Speaker 3: I'm living this parenting life on my own. And then

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Speaker 3: that's when it really kind of shifted, like we stopped

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Speaker 3: expecting things that weren't going to happen, like we were

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Speaker 3: not going to fully change.

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Speaker 2: Was there to come to Jesus moment where it was

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Speaker 2: like we need to fucking figure this out because this

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Speaker 2: is going in the wrong direction. And then what was

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Speaker 2: the moment the moment of sort of I guess even

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Speaker 2: call it reconciliation, but the beginning sort of healing the

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Speaker 2: small fractures that were sort of compounding.

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Speaker 3: We had started going to couple's therapy for the first

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Speaker 3: Like you know, he did not grow up like believing

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Speaker 3: in like you know, he's from Columbia, like his family

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Speaker 3: like therapy was like not something he really did, so

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Speaker 3: but I said, like we need to we need like

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Speaker 3: somebody in the middle, because he's one of those people

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Speaker 3: that will throw out things that he doesn't mean and

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Speaker 3: then be over it, and I'm one of those people

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Speaker 3: that will hold on to it till the day that

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Speaker 3: I die. So we were in couple's therapy and but

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Speaker 3: then we started seeing her separately. And I didn't know

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Speaker 3: this was a rule, but apparently if you are in

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Speaker 3: couples therapy and then you also see that therapist on

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Speaker 3: your own, they are not allowed to continue seeing you

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Speaker 3: separately if one of you tells the therapist a secret

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Speaker 3: that they're unwilling to.

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Speaker 2: Well, I didn't know this, shi.

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Speaker 3: So I get a call I'm on my way to

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Speaker 3: an appointment with our therapist and she said, Teddy, I

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Speaker 3: can't see you today. And I said why, and she goes, well,

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Speaker 3: unless Edwin's had a conversation with you, I can't see you.

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Speaker 3: I was like, what is it? Like, I can't tell you,

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Speaker 3: but you now have the tools to go talk to him.

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Speaker 3: And so that night he got home from work and

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Speaker 3: I was like, what is it that you told our

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Speaker 3: doctor that you haven't told me, and he's like, nothing,

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Speaker 3: I don't know what you're talking about. And I mean,

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Speaker 3: we had two little kids, and I said okay, and

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Speaker 3: I remember it was his birthday the next day, and

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Speaker 3: I just I had already put Cruise to bed and

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Speaker 3: and say it was already going to sleep, like they

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Speaker 3: didn't know any of this was happening. And I said, okay,

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Speaker 3: well then I'm leaving Whoa and I went to my

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Speaker 3: best friend's house and I slept there the next day

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Speaker 3: with his birthday. He's like I had already set up

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Speaker 3: all his birthday stuff from the kids, like I saw,

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Speaker 3: I'm I know it's all happening. And he didn't call me.

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Speaker 3: He doesn't do anything like he just he probably called

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Speaker 3: his mom to come help him, you know, like whatever

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Speaker 3: it was. And then like two days later he like

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Speaker 3: called and he's like okay, I'm ready to talk to you. Wow,

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Speaker 3: and like I'm really sorry, and this is what I

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Speaker 3: told her, And it wasn't even as bad as I imagine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but he was.

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Speaker 3: Like I don't know why I couldn't just tell you. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And then once we talked about that, it was like

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Speaker 3: all right, well, let's stop this. Then, let's stop this

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Speaker 3: shit like either you're in this with me and like

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Speaker 3: you love me and I love you and we're going

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Speaker 3: to tell each other the good and the bad and

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Speaker 3: the ugly, or like we're out. I can't keep I

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Speaker 3: can't keep feeling like I'm not enough, or you like

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Speaker 3: we both are looking for whatever is now right.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I've been through the ship with my wife

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Speaker 2: as well, and you kind of have to look at

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Speaker 2: the big picture and evaluate just the depth of love

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Speaker 2: that you have and looking not past, but looking into

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Speaker 2: sort of who you are together and whether or not

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Speaker 2: you really want to salvage it. I think a lot

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Speaker 2: of people quit too soon, you know, and don't want

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Speaker 2: to put the work in and the fight, and they

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Speaker 2: think that love and marriage is supposed to be easy.

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Speaker 3: Breezy, and that's not a fairy tale.

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Speaker 2: No, it's not exactly, and that's bullshit. I mean, there

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Speaker 2: are the fairytale moments, and there's the honeymoons that is

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Speaker 2: always amazing, where you're boning like eighty times a day

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Speaker 2: and you're like, this is incredible. Yeah, I mean it's

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Speaker 2: just ultimate freedom with no kids, and you're like, holy.

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Speaker 3: Shit, Oh, this is why I marriage.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, right, But when you can get through those things

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Speaker 2: and it just makes it's so much better. I mean,

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Speaker 2: the depth and the vulnerability and you know, the communication

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Speaker 2: that happens once you can sort of get through the muck,

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Speaker 2: it makes everything better. It makes sex better, it makes

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Speaker 2: everything better, you know what I mean. And it's so

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Speaker 2: important and it's not easy, you know, And I'm speaking

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Speaker 2: for myself, but even for just men, you know, being

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Speaker 2: vulnerable is it's a strength now, I think, because it

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Speaker 2: is so difficult to do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think it's also when you're both in

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Speaker 3: a place where you're feeling sensitive or you're feeling a

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Speaker 3: certain way, then you take out that like laughter that

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Speaker 3: you have with one another, and when that goes and

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Speaker 3: there's just like tension and kids and like everything is on.

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Speaker 3: Like you're like, what the hell am I doing with

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Speaker 3: my life? But then I'm like, what do I think

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Speaker 3: I'm doing? I'm going to go meet somebody else and

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Speaker 3: start this whole process over and expect it to be better.

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Speaker 3: Like definition have be insanity, like doing the same thing

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Speaker 3: over and over again, I'm expecting a different result. But

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Speaker 3: it was like we like each other, We genuinely like

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Speaker 3: each other. So let's figure out what our pros and

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Speaker 3: cons are and work together, because ultimately, like I feel

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Speaker 3: grateful that I still want to have sex with my husband,

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Speaker 3: but it took work. It wasn't like that every year

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Speaker 3: of these years.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I know, I know. And that intimacy, you know,

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Speaker 2: can wane, not just with physical attraction waning, but just

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Speaker 2: with that emotional sort of connection going. Yeah, like if

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Speaker 2: you're not feeling it, if you're not feeling it, you know,

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Speaker 2: forget it. It could be the hottest thing in the world.

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Speaker 2: But if if you're just becoming disconnected and sort of

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Speaker 2: passing ships and building up resentment, then you don't want

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Speaker 2: to have sex, like it doesn't matter.

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Speaker 3: And then if you get in the habit of not

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Speaker 3: having sex, then it's even hard. Like people will laugh

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Speaker 3: at me about this, but I say it all the time,

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Speaker 3: Like when we were going through a rough place and

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Speaker 3: we weren't and it was like we were out of

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Speaker 3: habit of it. Finally, what we ultimately started doing was

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Speaker 3: we'd make appointments, yeah, and we'd be like, Okay, we're

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Speaker 3: having an appointment.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we're doing.

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Speaker 3: Now, And we will still joke about it now for

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Speaker 3: like appointment at noon, you know, Like, but I cursing

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Speaker 3: ourselves to get back in that form of connection is

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Speaker 3: huge because if not, you just live separate lot.

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Speaker 2: I know it's true. Well cool, I'm glad, thank you

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Speaker 2: for sharing that. Like, I think that's uh, that's good

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Speaker 2: to hear, you know what I mean. I think that

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Speaker 2: more people can relate to these kinds of things, and

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Speaker 2: it needs to sort of be talked about more, you know,

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Speaker 2: because everyone's trying to make it work. We all want love,

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Speaker 2: we all want to make we all we all want perfection.

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Speaker 2: But that word doesn't shouldn't even be in the English language.

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Speaker 3: Let people see the cutter version on Instagram of every Yes,

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Speaker 3: I think they're the They're the you know, anomaly, are

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Speaker 3: the couple that really now.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, dude, yeah, dig into that relationship and you'll

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Speaker 2: see some ship. Dig into any relationship, you're gonna see

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Speaker 2: some ship. So we don't have a ton of time,

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Speaker 2: but I wanted to get into sort of the melanomas

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Speaker 2: that you've had because there's been like a million of them,

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Speaker 2: you know. Interestingly enough, it's so fun. I was reading

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Speaker 2: about you, but like I have, I'm a kind of

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Speaker 2: moldly person and I have this one that started it.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, am I gonna die like freaking out because

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Speaker 2: of my hypochondriacal self? But what the fuck happened?

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Speaker 3: Like?

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Speaker 2: And how do you have so many? Like what?

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Speaker 3: Well? When I was born, I had like a white

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Speaker 3: like almost like hyper pigmentation on my shoulder and then

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Speaker 3: you know, years and years of sun damage and tanning

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Speaker 3: beds and growing up in the South and like the baby.

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Speaker 3: Who knows if that was you know, that created it

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Speaker 3: or if I was born, I don't know, but it

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Speaker 3: wasn't that long ago. I mean three or four years,

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Speaker 3: three years ago maybe that I was on a run

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Speaker 3: with Kyle Richards from Real Housewives Beverly Hills and she

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Speaker 3: had seen me, you know, for the past whatever it

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Speaker 3: was seven years, and she was like, your shoulder looks different.

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Speaker 3: That spot on your shoulder looks different. And I have

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Speaker 3: a big anxiety around going to doctor's appointments, like filling

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Speaker 3: out paperwork. It's so bananas, Like I'm like what, But

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Speaker 3: she's like, I'll take you to mine right now, like

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Speaker 3: we ran there, like we're ran to the place. And

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Speaker 3: that first one I was diagnosed and then I thought

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Speaker 3: it was kind of done, and then it just kept

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Speaker 3: happening over and over and.

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Speaker 2: Did did they just cut it out? I mean was there?

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Speaker 2: It was there a time when it got dangerous.

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Speaker 3: The first one they just cut it out, and then

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Speaker 3: we thought it was fine. But now, I mean, as

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Speaker 3: my in college just said, uh, you've won melanoma. You've

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Speaker 3: had by one wo n I'm like, well, I like

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Speaker 3: to win things, but I don't know that I need

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Speaker 3: to win. But I've had more than anybody else at

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Speaker 3: like their cancer facility. And December twenty sixth I went

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Speaker 3: in and because the area had been infected so many

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Speaker 3: different times, and I tried immuneotherapy, I'd gotten them removed.

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Speaker 3: They were like, we want to stop cutting you. So

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Speaker 3: we tried the immune therapy.

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Speaker 2: It just didn't work.

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Speaker 3: Still kept coming back. So then December twenty six they

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Speaker 3: went in and essentially just cut out like a spot

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Speaker 3: about this big on my show shoulder and then pulled

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Speaker 3: my skin from my lower back over my shoulder. And

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Speaker 3: now I have like a new creation and knock on

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Speaker 3: wood like I've been okay since, except now I went

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Speaker 3: in from my check every three months and they found

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Speaker 3: another spot that they took right here, but this is

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Speaker 3: on an opposite side and this one does not have cancer.

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Speaker 3: So as of right now, I'm cancer free?

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Speaker 2: Are you pro meaning like, can you look at your

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Speaker 2: moles and freckles now, I'd be like, no, one's fucked

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Speaker 2: now one's okay.

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Speaker 3: No, but I can almost it's gonna sound no, no, no

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Speaker 3: hippy to me. I can almost feel it mm hmmm.

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Speaker 3: Like I kind of knew going in that this one

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Speaker 3: was gonna be okay, But I was like, but mine

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Speaker 3: didn't present as moles. Oh, so mine more looked like.

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Speaker 3: I went to dermatologists years ago for it because it

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Speaker 3: would get red and like almost like flaky mm hmmm,

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Speaker 3: and they were like, oh, we think it's dermatitis. So

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Speaker 3: I put like a steroid they put had me on

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Speaker 3: like a steroid cream and it would go away. So

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Speaker 3: I just lived under the assumption and that's what it

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Speaker 3: was for ten years. But then every single spot kept

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Speaker 3: coming back. But yeah, I mean, I think that's why

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Speaker 3: it's so important to go get checked. Skin cancer isn't choosing,

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Speaker 3: Like you still need to go. You need to go

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Speaker 3: get your checks and for everything like your high checks,

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Speaker 3: your you know, colonosky, all of the stuff. Yeah, mamograms

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Speaker 3: just book your appointments.

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Speaker 2: I know it's really important. So what's your businesses you created?

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Speaker 2: Sounds like it came it just came from such an

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Speaker 2: organic place. Meaning of course you're a business woman, you

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00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,199
Speaker 2: want to make money. Yeah, you know you wanted to

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Speaker 2: be successful, but it came from a real place of

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Speaker 2: just wanting to be better, right, and just finding your

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Speaker 2: wellness and what that means to you. And then how

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Speaker 2: did you sort of expand that into what it is now.

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Speaker 3: Well, I would say when I was younger, I didn't

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Speaker 3: really have like an entrepreneurial mindset. I always wanted to

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Speaker 3: do well, but I wasn't like it was more self serving.

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Speaker 3: And then what I realized like threw all in and

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Speaker 3: once I started having clients of my own, was I

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Speaker 3: am able to be better when I'm helping other people. So, like,

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Speaker 3: I know, it's like contradictory. They're like you're on a

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Speaker 3: you're on a housewife sure where you talk shit and

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Speaker 3: fight with people, or you do a podcast where you

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Speaker 3: talk shit about how like I'm like, but all of it.

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Speaker 3: It's like we can be multiple things in life, but

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Speaker 3: that that way, that approach of like I am holding

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Speaker 3: myself accountable to living this lifestyle and making these changes

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Speaker 3: because I'm going to practice what I preach telling other people.

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Speaker 3: So it started small, you know, I had about thirty

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Speaker 3: five to forty clients, and then it just started growing

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Speaker 3: and growing and growing, and now you know, I have

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Speaker 3: over thirty five coaches, I have thousands of clients. We've changed,

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Speaker 3: you know, it's it's it's crazy. And I mean a

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Speaker 3: lot of that is because I mean that first day

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Speaker 3: I was ever on Real Housewives, I got ten thousand emails,

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Speaker 3: Like my website didn't even know what to do. It

364
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:03,600
Speaker 3: was like, but the one thing I wouldn't do is

365
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Speaker 3: I never would sell out. So like at that moment,

366
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Speaker 3: all these companies came in and said like, we'll buy

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Speaker 3: you out and we'll just essentially you can be the face,

368
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Speaker 3: but we'll manage you and we're going to make you.

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Speaker 3: And I was like no, because the things that I

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Speaker 3: never like when I would go to a soul cycle

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Speaker 3: class and I would see like some perky little like

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Speaker 3: that I felt and I just judged without knowing, but

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Speaker 3: I'd like that person's never struggled to day, and they're like,

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Speaker 3: you know, like I had so much resentment that I

375
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Speaker 3: was like, no, I need to know that anyone that's

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Speaker 3: doing this has felt it and lived it. So every

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Speaker 3: coach I've ever brought in was also a client. So

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00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,680
Speaker 3: you're promoted through within you actually, and then you're kind

379
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Speaker 3: of paired with like, so somebody's going through you know,

380
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,439
Speaker 3: divorce or postpartum or whatever it may be. I mean,

381
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 3: we're not therapists or anything, but we have lived experience.

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Speaker 3: So where I'm going to place you with somebody that

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Speaker 3: understands where you're coming from.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is an extremely authentic sort of place you're

385
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,440
Speaker 2: coming from here now when you're dealing with sort of authenticity,

386
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 2: which has been the buzzword now for years, like authentic

387
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 2: and blah blah blah. Anyway, So how much of what

388
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,360
Speaker 2: the public knows about you and what they see from

389
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,239
Speaker 2: the Housewives to whatever magazines you're on, to whatever it

390
00:20:25,280 --> 00:20:29,439
Speaker 2: is you're doing, how much of that is one hundred

391
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Speaker 2: percent you? And how much do you have to sort

392
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 2: of play it up because you know that that's part

393
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Speaker 2: of the deal, you know, Yeah, I.

394
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Speaker 3: Mean I think I mean, first off, we have to

395
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,879
Speaker 3: be transparent, Like when you're on social media, I mean,

396
00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,280
Speaker 3: you did a thing. I think it was like during

397
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Speaker 3: COVID about like somebody give me paid post, Like that

398
00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 3: part feels a little bit. I mean, I don't say

399
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Speaker 3: yes to anything that I don't actually use or like,

400
00:20:56,720 --> 00:21:00,400
Speaker 3: but sometimes you feel a little like, yeah, you're doing

401
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,919
Speaker 3: it for sure. So that part, I would say is

402
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 3: probably where I live myself most out of my one

403
00:21:08,359 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 3: hundred percent authentic self, because whenever you're selling anything.

404
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Speaker 2: Yeah, of course you've got to give a little bit

405
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,720
Speaker 2: of like you know, yeah, and.

406
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:20,040
Speaker 3: You're just my tone always changes like you can tell yes.

407
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,360
Speaker 3: So that and then I would say, I mean, I'm

408
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:27,119
Speaker 3: not filming my kids throwing fits or like you know,

409
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,760
Speaker 3: me punishing, you know, like any of those types of things.

410
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:32,160
Speaker 3: I'm not curating that. So people always be like you're

411
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,399
Speaker 3: the best mom ever this or that you know, and

412
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,879
Speaker 3: I'm like you only you know. I try to be transparent,

413
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,479
Speaker 3: like you only see the half of it, like I

414
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,720
Speaker 3: lose my temper I do this, or you know, they

415
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,120
Speaker 3: probably think my calendars are insane, but like I think

416
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 3: that part. I show as much as I can show,

417
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:53,240
Speaker 3: but I try to protect those in my life or not,

418
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Speaker 3: like I signed up for this, they didn't.

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Speaker 2: What do you think the biggest misconception of you is

420
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:00,439
Speaker 2: I think.

421
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:03,080
Speaker 3: People are getting to know me more now through my

422
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 3: podcast to teasing a pod than they did on the show,

423
00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:10,199
Speaker 3: because I think when I went on that show, I

424
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,360
Speaker 3: had had so many years wanting to be on TV

425
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,560
Speaker 3: and wanting this to happen. Then I went on, I

426
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:17,480
Speaker 3: was significantly younger than everybody else. I didn't have any

427
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:21,000
Speaker 3: authentic friendships at that point, and it just felt forced.

428
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 3: But like anybody that's you know, now those girls that

429
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,920
Speaker 3: are on the show have become my true friends, Like

430
00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:31,240
Speaker 3: times have changed, but that took growth and time and

431
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,480
Speaker 3: knowing each other. But anybody that knows me knows like

432
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 3: I don't take myself that seriously, like as much as

433
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 3: I did on the show, Like I really am kind

434
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,479
Speaker 3: of a shit show and try to embrace that and

435
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:45,920
Speaker 3: have fun and can laugh at myself and yeah, you

436
00:22:45,960 --> 00:22:48,720
Speaker 3: know that, not just have a stick at my ass, no.

437
00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 2: Of course, and that you fucking struggle with you know,

438
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:56,480
Speaker 2: real life problems anxiety and you know, self esteem and

439
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:59,439
Speaker 2: all the all the things you know. I think sometimes

440
00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 2: there is the sort of perception that, oh, you have

441
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,639
Speaker 2: it all or what do you have to complain? About

442
00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,679
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, that kind of a vibe

443
00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 2: when the reality is is we're all human and we

444
00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,360
Speaker 2: all have our shit and a lot of the times

445
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,400
Speaker 2: we silently struggle, yeah, you.

446
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,800
Speaker 3: Know, and and also knowing that it's going to come

447
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 3: and wait. Like at the beginning of this year, I

448
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:25,120
Speaker 3: remember I choose a word every year, and the word

449
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 3: I originally had chosen was cope. And then I was like,

450
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 3: that is a really depressing word.

451
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:34,719
Speaker 2: It is. It's so much optimism. It's like just fucking

452
00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 2: grind and get through, man, like hold white knuckle it.

453
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:40,520
Speaker 3: And I was like, but I had to have that

454
00:23:40,560 --> 00:23:42,879
Speaker 3: conversation with myself, but it took me a little bit

455
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,720
Speaker 3: of time to kind of get there. And I think

456
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,879
Speaker 3: that's okay. We have to allow each other and ourselves

457
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,200
Speaker 3: to get there. Sometimes we always expect everyone to show

458
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:53,479
Speaker 3: up is what we want them to be right from

459
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 3: the get go. It's not going to happen. It's not reality.

460
00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,600
Speaker 3: Hopefully we get there, but like give us all, like

461
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:01,520
Speaker 3: you know, the race.

462
00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's great.

463
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 3: All right.

464
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 2: One last question, has your dad slept with any of

465
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:16,400
Speaker 2: your friends? Yes? Oh really? Are you kidding? Really? Wow?

466
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 2: Because he's such the man you know what I mean.

467
00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:24,199
Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, oh my god, has your mom slept

468
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 3: any with any of yours?

469
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,760
Speaker 2: No, because she's been with Kurt for you know, for years,

470
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,280
Speaker 2: you know, yeah no.

471
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 3: But I more, I say, whenever it's about to happen,

472
00:24:35,119 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 3: I'm like, this is on you. Yeah, listen, you you do.

473
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 2: You, and you're cool that you're like whatever, like you know, I'm.

474
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:47,400
Speaker 3: Like, I don't if you if you to the females,

475
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,119
Speaker 3: I'm like, if this is something you a road you

476
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 3: want to go down, that's on you. But yeah, I

477
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 3: mean happened in a while, Yeah yeah, girlfriend, but.

478
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah. And then do you ever find out

479
00:24:59,600 --> 00:25:01,119
Speaker 2: what kind of a love he is?

480
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:04,680
Speaker 3: One of them tried to like talk to me about

481
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 3: some of the things. I was like, I ab absolutely.

482
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:09,679
Speaker 2: I do not want to know.

483
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:13,520
Speaker 3: It's already hard enough for me to like see any

484
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 3: sort of like connection, I don't or flirtation.

485
00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 2: And then one friend's like, listen today, i gotta tell

486
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:26,399
Speaker 2: you your dad the things that he did to me.

487
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:29,400
Speaker 2: You're like, we're like, wait a minute, shut up right now.

488
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:34,679
Speaker 3: I like I can't, I cannot, like, but luckily I

489
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:36,719
Speaker 3: can kind of put him in like a different box.

490
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,199
Speaker 3: Like there's my dad box and then there's like the

491
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:40,080
Speaker 3: John Mellencamp.

492
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:44,680
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, when did he drop the Cougar? Like when

493
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 2: did that go away?

494
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:47,560
Speaker 3: Well that like when it was when his wreck, when

495
00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,720
Speaker 3: the record deals changed, like he did a.

496
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,160
Speaker 2: Transition because this Cougar total horseship?

497
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 3: Was that just a's total horseship? Like I forget that

498
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 3: the other big guy was from the eighties that had

499
00:25:57,240 --> 00:25:59,560
Speaker 3: like a bullshit made up name. So no, he was

500
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 3: Johnny Cougar, then it was John Cougar, then John Cougar

501
00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 3: Mellencamp yeh. Then then by the time he was in

502
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,359
Speaker 3: his final thing, he just John Mellencamp.

503
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:10,119
Speaker 2: It's so funny because your dad seems like a pretty

504
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:13,399
Speaker 2: straight shooter, a cool dude, and the record label like

505
00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: just imagine goes all, right, here we go, You're gonna

506
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:20,600
Speaker 2: be called Cougar and is he just like what like okay,

507
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,399
Speaker 2: I guess yeah, he's.

508
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 3: Well at first he put up a fight, but then

509
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,639
Speaker 3: you know, as a guy from Indiana, but you know,

510
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:29,120
Speaker 3: with humble upbringings and doing all the things, like you

511
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 3: go to New York and they're like this is the

512
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,640
Speaker 3: name you're gonna have and this is what you're gonna

513
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 3: wear like. He tried to push back as much as

514
00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:38,119
Speaker 3: he could, but you know, it was it was kind

515
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:40,760
Speaker 3: of an unheard of at that time. Right accepted it.

516
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 3: And I can't speak for him, but as soon as

517
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,600
Speaker 3: he could change it, he did.

518
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 2: Oh of course, don't worry.

519
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 3: I won't let him live it down. Like for his

520
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:52,320
Speaker 3: seventieth birthday, I had happy birthday kugs and balloons all

521
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 3: over the place, like everything was cougar's. He's like, I

522
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 3: will honestly teddy, and I was like.

523
00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 2: You should get a coug you should get a cougar tattoo.

524
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:01,680
Speaker 2: My god.

525
00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 3: You know my dad had a tattoo of my mom

526
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 3: on his shoulder and when they got divorced, he turned

527
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 3: her into Jesus.

528
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:15,040
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's amazing, like my mom.

529
00:27:14,920 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 1: With a beard.

530
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 3: Maybe it's why I have issues with facial hair.

531
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 2: Oh yes, there it is all coming back around. Well,

532
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:25,439
Speaker 2: next time I see you. Well, I can't promise you anything,

533
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,840
Speaker 2: but I think you need to learn to like facial hair.

534
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 2: You know, because it depicts a man, a real man,

535
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 2: a man who you know can hold his own I

536
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 2: can survive for at least three hours on what.

537
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,680
Speaker 3: The crumbs from like food dripping onto your mustache.

538
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 2: Yeah no, but it's not like a big beard, you

539
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 2: know what I mean. It's just it's got sex appeal.

540
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 2: There's sex appeal there. No, I listen, come on, you

541
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,439
Speaker 2: have been with a man with a beard.

542
00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,919
Speaker 3: I mean, my husband has one half the time, and

543
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:58,720
Speaker 3: I don't tell him to get rid of it. Even

544
00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 3: my child is my dad, No, like, none of us

545
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 3: want it around.

546
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:08,840
Speaker 2: I know my daughter's like, will you shade? Okay? All right, fine,

547
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,320
Speaker 2: well thanks for talking. This was awesome, Thanks for telling

548
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,840
Speaker 2: your story. Thanks for having me fun chatting.

549
00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:16,840
Speaker 3: Can you please do some more songs because they're my

550
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:17,320
Speaker 3: favorite thing.

551
00:28:17,520 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 2: I know, I get lazy. I just it's it's such

552
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:24,200
Speaker 2: like an inspiration thing. I just That's why I could

553
00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 2: never do Instagram for like a living, even though I

554
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 2: do make some money off of it. It's so hard

555
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:34,120
Speaker 2: for me to fake post. I sometimes I'll sometimes I'll

556
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 2: think I haven't posted in a month, and then I'll

557
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 2: just scroll through my photos from like one hundred years ago.

558
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,880
Speaker 2: I think, do I post this? Like I don't know?

559
00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:45,719
Speaker 2: Fuck it? No, I don't want to do anything, you know.

560
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:50,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, anyways, I do appreciate I would appreciate another updated.

561
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,160
Speaker 2: And what's your podcast about? By the way, just so

562
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 2: I know.

563
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 3: So I do it with Tamra Judge and she's on

564
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:58,480
Speaker 3: Real Housewives of Orange County. We recap all of the

565
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 3: different franchises and then I have one with called Popping Off.

566
00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 3: She's also from Orange County. But we talk about Vandon,

567
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:10,000
Speaker 3: Pump Rules The Valley. Essentially, like all of that reality

568
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 3: television show that you want to escape your life by watching,

569
00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 3: we recap it.

570
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 2: I know, I love it. I'm a below deck guy.

571
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 3: So oh yeah, I think you should try watching The Valley.

572
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 2: I think you'd like it really. Oh yeah, it does

573
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 2: look kind of fun. It's kind of it is, is it?

574
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 2: I'm gonna try it.

575
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:27,960
Speaker 3: It's such a disaster that you can't.

576
00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 2: I love that stuff so much. So good. All right, Well,

577
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 2: hopefully see you.

578
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 3: In Colorado hopefully, Susan.

579
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 2: All right, good talking?

580
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 3: Bye bye.

581
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:43,920
Speaker 2: Well that was fun for me learn learn some things

582
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,959
Speaker 2: I didn't know. She like my facial hair. It's a bummer,

583
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,960
Speaker 2: very open, you know. I love people who were just

584
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 2: able to talk about their truth, their lives, you know,

585
00:29:56,800 --> 00:29:59,480
Speaker 2: fifteen million omens or some shit. I mean, imagine that,

586
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:07,960
Speaker 2: imagine that anyway, that was a blast. I love talking,

587
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 2: so I just I'm just gonna keep talking, talking, all right.

588
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,800
Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave now because I have things to do.

589
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 2: You may think that I just sit here all day

590
00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:25,440
Speaker 2: on this microphone talking to myself. Part of that is true.

591
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 2: I talk to myself all day, just not on a microphone.

592
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:32,680
Speaker 2: If I could have a microphone in my car or

593
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,239
Speaker 2: just like like a like a live mic, and you

594
00:30:35,240 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 2: could just hear what I say to myself, I can

595
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:44,600
Speaker 2: maybe make that a new podcast. You know. Well, I

596
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 2: got to come up with a title. But it's just

597
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:50,040
Speaker 2: me recording myself all day, and you get to hear

598
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 2: my inner thoughts because my inner thoughts are on my

599
00:30:53,520 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 2: outer thoughts. Like I will be in my car and

600
00:30:55,840 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 2: just start talking to myself. Maybe I'll do that anyway.

601
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,080
Speaker 2: See I'm doing it right now. I'm talking to myself

602
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:10,200
Speaker 2: out loud to you guys, and you are riveted. I'm

603
00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 2: gonna stop talking right now, not to myself. I'm gonna

604
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,400
Speaker 2: stop talking into the microphone to myself. I'm gonna keep

605
00:31:16,400 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 2: talking to myself, but I'm just gonna stop talking, all right.

606
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 2: I'm out