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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for not letting my sister

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Speaker 1: babysit my kids? Well this comes from mamas and sam

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Speaker 1: What this is really special?

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Speaker 2: Why it's from our slash okayo piece show. Let's go

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Speaker 2: the best community on reddits.

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Speaker 1: That's right, So as we said, go to our slash okaypho,

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Speaker 1: put your stories in.

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Speaker 2: Guys, we're reading them. We're reading right now on our

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Speaker 2: live stream and that's our favorite. Make happen Tuesdays and

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Speaker 2: Thursdays Public lives streams three pm. Join us.

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Speaker 1: So background, my sister female thirty four and I female

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Speaker 1: thirty one don't have the strongest relationship. Everyone needs to

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Speaker 1: say to us. When you are older, you will become

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Speaker 1: the best friends. Well that didn't happen at all. Oh sorry,

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Speaker 1: my husband looks My husband, male thirty two, also isn't

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Speaker 1: a fan of my sister. My sister is a teacher

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Speaker 1: and teaches a special education class, although she doesn't have

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Speaker 1: any formal special education training.

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Speaker 2: Interesting.

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Speaker 1: She's also currently trying to have children, however, due to

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Speaker 1: male infertility in her husband, male thirty three. Females behalf

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Speaker 1: it's a long process for them. So onto the store

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Speaker 1: for my birthday. My husband bought me tickets to see

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Speaker 1: Hamilton in August. I'm so excited and it will be the

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Speaker 1: first time we have been out there, just the two

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Speaker 1: of us since before our second kid was born. We

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Speaker 1: had organized my mom and dad to look after the

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Speaker 1: two kids, three male and one female, and all was well.

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Speaker 2: All was great. Zoom see I like I love and

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Speaker 2: hate those sentences all as well. So great until but

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Speaker 2: until I knew he got it.

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Speaker 1: I knew, I knew even got the word, the exact word.

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Speaker 1: We've seen a lot of it. Last week, my mom

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Speaker 1: told me her sister had asked if she wanted to

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Speaker 1: go see another show, and my mom agreed, not knowing

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Speaker 1: when they were booking tickets. A few days later, I

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Speaker 1: take the kid to my mom's and she says this, So,

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Speaker 1: I haven't told you about Sister Act. You said you

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Speaker 1: were going, Mom, Yeah, but it's on the same date

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Speaker 1: as Hamilton. What No, what time is it? And to

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Speaker 1: be clear, by the way, the mom is now saying

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Speaker 1: she's going to see the uh the player of the

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Speaker 1: movie Sister Act on the same day. OPI was planning

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Speaker 1: on giving her the children so she could get some

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Speaker 1: time out. Mom, it's the same as yours. Uh, Mom,

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Speaker 1: I'll just have to figure something else out. Then, Mom,

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Speaker 1: I was worried your dad was going to be mad

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Speaker 1: at me, but he's fine.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 1: He still wants the kids and I've organized your sister

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Speaker 1: to help with the baby.

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Speaker 2: What. No, I'll come up with something because the sisters

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Speaker 2: garbage and taking care of kids. She's a stinky sister.

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Speaker 2: Stinky sister, and I hate her even though her job

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Speaker 2: is to take care of children. That's wild. Yeah, you

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Speaker 2: don't want your sister who's witch is terrible for all

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Speaker 2: the children that she's diaying again.

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Speaker 1: Right, Mom? No, No, No, it's all fixed. She's very excited.

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Speaker 1: All she has to do is bottles and put her

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Speaker 1: to bed. I was quiet. I wasn't happy, but I

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Speaker 1: needed to talk to my husband. We were also having

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Speaker 1: the same issues with his dad, so I wasn't comfortable

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Speaker 1: having his parents mind the kids either. I went home

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Speaker 1: and spoke to my husband. We both agreed that my

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Speaker 1: sister would not be watching the kids. She lives twenty

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Speaker 1: minutes away and hasn't attempted to see my kids since January.

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Speaker 1: We also didn't want the kids going to my in laws,

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Speaker 1: so we now have two options. Number one, my mother

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Speaker 1: in law could watch the kids at home. Also Op

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Speaker 1: be saying mind to the kids, but I think that's maybe.

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Speaker 2: Like British mining. Okay, there you go.

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Speaker 1: And number two, my husband could stay home and I

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Speaker 1: take someone else to the show, most likely my mother

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Speaker 1: in law.

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Speaker 2: Dude, that would suck. Happy to take your mother in

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Speaker 2: law to Hamilton? Or that's right, that'd be great.

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Speaker 1: But this is the first time they've been able to

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Speaker 1: get out since they're sef kid was born, and like

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Speaker 1: just the excitement of like, I finally get to be

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Speaker 1: alone with my significant other.

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Speaker 2: No baby, spicy sleep afterwards, you know, Hamilton and get

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Speaker 2: everything going and.

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Speaker 1: Excited those theater chairs lean all the way back.

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Speaker 2: Oka. Oh God, doing a job.

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Speaker 1: So I understand that my mom fixed her issue, but

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Speaker 1: she did so without discussing with me first. She organized

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Speaker 1: my kids without including me in the conversation, and I

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Speaker 1: am not happy about that. So I'm gonna run this

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Speaker 1: down real quick to make sure I understand. Do you

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Speaker 1: understand fully what's going on here?

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Speaker 2: But here here's what I understand. Yes, uh, OPI and

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Speaker 2: her sister don't get along. Op was trying to have

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Speaker 2: a night out with the husband and the two plays

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Speaker 2: are at the same same time, which means the mother

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Speaker 2: in law can no longer mind the kids, though.

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Speaker 3: The mom could I think it's her mom, not the

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Speaker 3: mother in law.

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Speaker 2: The same mom here, okay, so maybe it's mom. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I think I think it is her mom. So it's

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Speaker 2: but then and she would be like, oh, take my

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Speaker 2: mother in law because my mom is busy.

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Speaker 1: She's doing the mom was supposed to watch the kids,

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Speaker 1: but she busy.

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Speaker 2: Okay. So basically it feels like OP is like, I,

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Speaker 2: under no circumstances, want my sister taking care of the kids,

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Speaker 2: which we don't have clarity on why she just allegedly sucks,

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Speaker 2: allegedly sucks, allegedly doesn't like them. It is her professional

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Speaker 2: job to take care of kids. But for some reason,

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Speaker 2: OPI is like, nah, don't not my kids.

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Speaker 1: I wonder if this is one of those stories where

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Speaker 1: the other person comes in and is like, actually, the

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Speaker 1: original OP.

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Speaker 2: Was totally yeah, yeah, probably not. But I want to

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Speaker 2: know why you don't want your sister to be in

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Speaker 2: what's the context? Give us context? Come on.

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Speaker 1: So I went to see my mom again yesterday and

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Speaker 1: I told her my husband was now not going to

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Speaker 1: Hamilton and I'd be taking my mother in law instead.

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Speaker 2: Is there a friend she could take like the mother

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Speaker 2: in law?

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Speaker 1: I just I'm just like, is there is there? Is

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Speaker 1: there somebody else? Like I don't know, like the mother

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Speaker 1: in law is the only person.

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Speaker 2: Maybe they're remember they're tight like that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, which, by the way, is adorable and great, but.

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Speaker 2: But I hate it Reddit and have made me hate

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Speaker 2: mother in law.

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Speaker 1: I love it as I'm gonna plan a trip with

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Speaker 1: just me and the mother in law from the jump,

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Speaker 1: not like Okay, now I have to salvage it. And now,

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Speaker 1: like you know, I don't know, I don't know. Let

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Speaker 1: me know in the comments if I'm being if I'm.

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Speaker 2: The whole and reach out to Riley, if you want

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Speaker 2: to give your two cents on this situation on discord,

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Speaker 2: let it know.

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Speaker 1: She was upset and said we needed to go together

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Speaker 1: and have time just us. I told her that that

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Speaker 1: was not happening anymore. Mom, your dad will be upset.

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Speaker 2: He was looking forward to it.

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Speaker 3: Me.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure her dad can have my son if he wants. Mom,

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Speaker 1: your sister was looking forward to it too, me. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: she needs to make more of an effort to see

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Speaker 1: the kids. Then it's been almost five months since you've

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Speaker 1: seen them.

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Speaker 2: So Opie is mad that the sister hasn't spent time

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Speaker 2: with the kids, so she is preventing her from spending

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Speaker 2: time with the kids. It does smell a little fishy. Ooh,

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Speaker 2: this is our slash okay op show, though, this is

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Speaker 2: a this is this is part of the member. This

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Speaker 2: is a member of the Okay fab So we're gonna

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Speaker 2: be nice, are we? Though? But are we gonna tell

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Speaker 2: the harsh truth? But I'm I'm getting a little bit

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Speaker 2: of a what what's going on here? I'm confused? What's

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Speaker 2: going on? Opie? Mom?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but you won't go to her house. My sister

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Speaker 1: has dogs and my son is allergic to dog saliva.

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Speaker 2: Never heard of that before.

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Speaker 3: Oh, that's that's true. That's true.

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Speaker 2: That's why dog saliva.

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Speaker 3: I'm allergic to cat because of the I didn't.

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Speaker 2: Know you were allergic to cats. Really. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I try to keep it to myself though, because certain

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Speaker 3: people might ask me to watch your cat, and I

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Speaker 3: don't want to make a big deal out of it, right,

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Speaker 3: I love cats, but I just I get puffy after

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Speaker 3: like thirty minutes.

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Speaker 1: Why did you never luckily in Riley's never watched my cat,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't him watch my cat.

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Speaker 2: Like your cat's good.

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Speaker 3: I never get like allergic with your cat, but like

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Speaker 3: if I pet it too long, then I'll start to

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Speaker 3: get sniffily.

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Speaker 2: Wow, this seems like pertinent information.

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Speaker 3: Yeah really, well, I mean, but like I don't If

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Speaker 3: you want to watch your cat, I'll watch it.

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Speaker 2: Like, but I'm not going to subjugate you to I'll

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Speaker 2: watch your cat, John, but I want to watch your cat.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to be a problem.

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Speaker 3: See this is a problem. Now I'm the problem.

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Speaker 2: Actually, you couldn't even watch the cat because Sofie is

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Speaker 2: allergic to cat.

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Speaker 1: Here, well, i'd go to go to by the way,

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Speaker 1: this is it's not it's not even an issue anymore.

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Speaker 2: But do you have someone to watch your cat? Huh?

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Speaker 2: You have someone to watch your cat? Well, you're abandoning us.

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Speaker 1: That actually might be an issue. That was the really separate,

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Speaker 1: separate instance. And now I just realized we still need

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Speaker 1: to talk about that. We should we should Okay, we'll

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Speaker 1: talk about Sorry. Sorry, so me, she drives past our

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Speaker 1: house two to three times a week.

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Speaker 2: Why should I go there? Mom? Yeah, I guess we

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Speaker 2: are going.

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Speaker 1: To my parents for lunch this weekend, and I'm assuming

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Speaker 1: my sister will be there. I'm guessing she will question

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Speaker 1: my decision or attack me for not trusting her. So

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Speaker 1: am I the a hole for not allowing my sister

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Speaker 1: to babysit? And what should I do if there's a

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Speaker 1: confrontation at lunch? Ooh?

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Speaker 3: How long ago was this? Can we still help?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Is there an r slash Okop show comment section

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Speaker 2: that we that Op has given more information on.

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Speaker 1: But we're seeing if there's any relevant comments within our

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Speaker 1: slash o Kop show. But I'm peeping some of the

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Speaker 1: comments we have here. A lot of people talking about

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Speaker 1: being allergic.

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Speaker 2: Maybe as my dad was allergic to cats.

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Speaker 3: Can you get shots through it? Because?

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Speaker 2: All right?

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Speaker 3: Side note, my girlfriend wants to get a cat one day,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, ah.

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Speaker 2: What do I do? You just have to keep if

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Speaker 2: cat hair until you just become a man. You lick

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Speaker 2: the cat, Yeah, lick the cat.

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Speaker 3: Already looked the cat, But like, how do I not

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Speaker 3: get allergic to the cat?

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Speaker 2: You just have to keep doing it until you build

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Speaker 2: up tolerance. Wow? Okay, So right now, I don't know

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Speaker 2: why she doesn't want the sister to mind the kids.

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Speaker 2: It seems like a fine solution unless there's something that

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Speaker 2: is terrible that we don't know about the kids. It

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Speaker 2: feels like it's fine. The only thing that we have

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Speaker 2: actual knowledge of is that the sister hasn't made time

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Speaker 2: to see the kids in the last five months, and

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Speaker 2: so ops, like you need to make time to see

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Speaker 2: the kids before you have earned the right to mind

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Speaker 2: the kids. But that feels like it doesn't make sense.

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Speaker 1: Also, the other thing, and I was looking back at this,

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Speaker 1: just double check, I'm pretty sure the dad would also

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Speaker 1: be washing the kids at the same time.

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Speaker 2: Oh Pie's dad, right, So it's.

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Speaker 1: Like, okay, well, if you don't trust your SF, I mean,

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Speaker 1: surely your sister isn't so bad that another that your

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Speaker 1: own father who raised you being there at the same

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Speaker 1: time make it so bad.

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Speaker 2: Rader says, because the sister is practically a stranger to them,

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Speaker 2: what do you do. It's their sister, they like, they

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Speaker 2: spent their whole childhood together, and they only just they

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Speaker 2: haven't seen in like five months.

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Speaker 1: So this this wasn't like broken down or explained.

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Speaker 2: But there's relevant. Let's hit the relevant comments. Let's go.

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Speaker 2: Let's hit the relevant comments. And if you want to

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Speaker 2: make a relevant comment, why don't you DM Riley right now.

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Speaker 2: That's flight into his DMS with us boys.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, she said she grew up and they didn't

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Speaker 1: become friends. That was that was, but we didn't get

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Speaker 1: more contact.

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Speaker 2: The scooter kid TLDR am with the Ahle for not

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Speaker 2: letting my sister babysit my kids. So basically op is like,

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Speaker 2: I don't want my sister babysitting my kids. We're trying

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Speaker 2: to figure out.

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Speaker 3: Why people responses some of these comments too, so oh huge,

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Speaker 3: oh way more context.

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Speaker 1: So relevan comments from our own community, our slash r

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Speaker 1: Slasher Kobe show. This comes from Creative Madness ninety nine,

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Speaker 1: who says I'm on your side as far as your

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Speaker 1: mom making decisions without your input.

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Speaker 2: As for the rest, well, all I read.

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Speaker 1: Was I hate my sister because she doesn't visit me,

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Speaker 1: and she's a fraud because she pretends to be a

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Speaker 1: teacher without formal training. I'm kind of inclined to say

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Speaker 1: you are the A hole because you don't give any

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Speaker 1: tangible reason why you.

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Speaker 2: Hate your sister.

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Speaker 1: If anything, the title should have said, am I the

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Speaker 1: a hole for being mad at my mom who made

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Speaker 1: alternative plans regarding my kids without consulting me. Yeah, the

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Speaker 1: mom like made plans on the same day after she

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Speaker 1: promised to watch the kids.

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Speaker 2: It is okay to be mad at your mom. I

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Speaker 2: don't understand. Mom is the a hole.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but sister, we don't know, so OPI mama's or

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Speaker 1: a response. My sister doesn't make any effort with my kids.

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Speaker 1: She acts like she's the best auntie ever, but never

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Speaker 1: sees the kids. She has never looked after a baby

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Speaker 1: before and never even changed diaper. Every time I've given

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Speaker 1: her the opportunity to, she goes, no, they're your kids.

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Speaker 2: Yes they are, but don't complain that you've never done one.

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Speaker 1: If you won't step up when the opportunity arises. I've

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Speaker 1: had to set boundaries with her teaching my son pink

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Speaker 1: put inc I guess, like how to say pink in quotations, So.

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Speaker 2: Then she is they are spending time with the kids.

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Speaker 2: If she's able to teach the kids, then she is

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Speaker 2: spending time with them. I guess it's just like the

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Speaker 2: last five months she hasn't come over.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, my son is three, and there are certain sounds

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Speaker 1: that he's still unable to make She treats him like

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Speaker 1: one of her students, but he isn't. He is three,

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Speaker 1: not handicapped. Maybe I should have concluded this in the

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Speaker 1: original and this.

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Speaker 3: Got downvoted like negative five. This is negative five downloaded.

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Speaker 3: This comment interesting and then the creative mindness if you

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Speaker 3: want to read that point.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, creative madness comments again. This is the person who

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Speaker 1: just did the last one. A relationship is a two

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Speaker 1: way street. What have you done to forge a friendship?

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's hard for her to be around to be

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Speaker 1: around more because you treat her like crap. Her life

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Speaker 1: shouldn't revolve around you just because you popped out a

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Speaker 1: couple of kids. You complain that she doesn't make any effort,

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Speaker 1: but when she does, you admonish her. You're actually mad

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Speaker 1: because she's trying to teach your son how to pronounce colors. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: but three is old enough to learn the basics. And no,

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Speaker 1: she's not treating your son like he's handicapped. She's teaching

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Speaker 1: him site words. Sorry, but changing diapers isn't rocket science.

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Speaker 1: No one taught me how to do it. When my

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Speaker 1: kids are born, the nurses offered, but I like to

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Speaker 1: do things myself. It took all of two seconds to

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Speaker 1: figure out.

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Speaker 2: I feel like this commentary is getting a little bit aggressive. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but there are some points in here I.

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Speaker 1: Think, Yeah, maybe it's like maybe taken too far and

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Speaker 1: too aggressively, but yeah there's Yeah, ex somepvlated here. Stop

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Speaker 1: treating your sister like she's incapable just because she doesn't

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Speaker 1: have kids. She's an adult who is in a profession

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Speaker 1: of taking care and teaching children. And then Cobalterus says,

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Speaker 1: sounds like your sister is trying to spend time with

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Speaker 1: the kids now in this post, and you're actually preventing it.

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Speaker 1: Question Mark Opie says, she isn't the one making the effort.

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Speaker 1: My mom is my husband, and I think she has

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Speaker 1: been complaining to my mom that she doesn't get to

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Speaker 1: see the kids and mom is fixing it, which which.

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Speaker 2: Means that she's trying to spend time with your kids. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: is not what you want? Like, wouldn't you want to? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: this Opie's being a little a little confusing. I contradictory. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I saw a comment I think it was from love

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Speaker 2: Bubbles where it's like, uh, well, would you want someone

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Speaker 2: like if they don't if OPI in this, or if

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Speaker 2: the kids and the sister don't have like a strong bond,

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Speaker 2: would you want like someone being dropped off at a

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Speaker 2: random relative's house. But it's like, that's what we do

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Speaker 2: with babysitters all the time. We hire a babysitters, like

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Speaker 2: take care of my kids. The babysitter doesn't necessarily know

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Speaker 2: who the person is. And the father is going to

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Speaker 2: be there, right, so it's like the father being there

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Speaker 2: kind of change. Yeah. So if their grandparents going to

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Speaker 2: be there and their aunt is going to be there,

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Speaker 2: and the aunt is trying to it seems like trying

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Speaker 2: to make an effort by agreeing to take on the kids,

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Speaker 2: I don't see what the issue is. Yeah, Opie, you

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Speaker 2: know we love you.

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Speaker 1: Also, I feel like there's something that happened in the

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Speaker 1: past now that that we haven't learned yet.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but let's get Valley Lily on the line and

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Speaker 3: get her.

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Speaker 2: Yeah know what you think. So when said we would

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Speaker 2: be a lot meaner if this wasn't in our okay,

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Speaker 2: this is true. This is we do love our family.

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Speaker 2: We're trying to this is this is the okay fam

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Speaker 2: We're not going to be. But we also hold them accountable. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, discuss discuss the matter at hand. Yeah, which

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Speaker 2: I feel like you should give your sister a chance.

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Speaker 2: If that's the like, I think there's a little petiness

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Speaker 2: going on. Absolutely, let's chat with Valid Lily's Valley Lily. Hey, yeah,

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Speaker 2: we can't loud and clear. So yeah, what are your

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Speaker 2: thoughts on the story?

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Speaker 4: Well, first of all, I'm the oldest of four girls. Okay,

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Speaker 4: so I got a lot of opinions about how you're

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Speaker 4: not the friends with your sisters.

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Speaker 2: Yes, and that's very natural.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm forty and forty six now and I was

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Speaker 4: beyond forty before I become friends with my oldest sister.

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Speaker 2: Wow, So is there a world in which you understand

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Speaker 2: op not her children to be watched by him or her.

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Speaker 4: Sure, And two of my sisters can always babysit any

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Speaker 4: of my kids. They spend summer holidays with them, they

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Speaker 4: visit me, I visit them. But then there's the last sister.

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Speaker 4: She's a little social and she is a great aunt,

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Speaker 4: that's not it. She doesn't spend much time with my youngest,

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Speaker 4: so my youngest doesn't know her. She's five, and I

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Speaker 4: wouldn't leave my daughter with her and not in the

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Speaker 4: way his mother would write, keep her.

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Speaker 2: And it's because your youngest doesn't really have a relationship

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Speaker 2: with your that that specific sister, and you're thinking maybe

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Speaker 2: your youngest would be uncomfortable being around that sister just

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Speaker 2: because there's not that familiarity there. I'm very curious. I'm

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Speaker 2: very curious to kind of close it out.

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Speaker 1: If you were in a similar scenario where it was,

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Speaker 1: let's say your sister that you don't really have, that

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Speaker 1: the kids don't have a relationship with, but then also

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Speaker 1: your your dad was there, would you be like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let I'm not gonna have the kids

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Speaker 1: do that and go and go no for them.

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Speaker 4: Oh, my youngest at all, my dad at a distance.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I see, fair enough, fair enough, okay, how about

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Speaker 2: all right? Another question for you, one more question. Would

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Speaker 2: you close it out? If you had a the choice

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Speaker 2: between a random babysitter off like one of the I

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Speaker 2: don't know babysitting websites, and your sister, which would you choose?

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Speaker 4: I would stay home.

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Speaker 2: I love that val.

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Speaker 4: It has to be an emergency emergency. I would do

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Speaker 4: it my sister, no question to ask, but from my entertainment.

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Speaker 1: Now got you fair enough, fair enough, good points. Thank

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Speaker 1: you Vally for thanks for calling it.

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Speaker 3: Also real quick, validly, your profile picture on YouTube looks

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Speaker 3: just like my aunt, and I thought, yeah, for the

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Speaker 3: longest time, that is so funny.

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Speaker 4: I tried to change it. I'm sorry, I tried to

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Speaker 4: change it, but they won't.

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00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:48,480
Speaker 2: No, no, no, I like it. Fantastic, it's like family. Awesome,

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Speaker 2: thanks Val. I'm kind of little silly, So let's go.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for coming on. That's awesome.

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Speaker 4: All right, Yeah, I'm going to say good night now

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Speaker 4: it's midnight here, Oh why.

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Speaker 2: Sleep, have a good one. Awesome, Okay, So a little

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Speaker 2: bit like I think against our perspective, a little bit

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Speaker 2: like Vally Lily is more like, if I don't have

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Speaker 2: a relationship with that person, I'm not gonna let my

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Speaker 2: kids be minded by them. I wonder though, if.

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Speaker 1: Like bally Lily just doesn't have a good relationship and

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Speaker 1: they haven't built that rapport. I wonder if that's the

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Speaker 1: same with O P sister M.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a similar scenario. Well, yeah, that bally Lily

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Speaker 2: just described, that's that's yeah. So I think like she

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Speaker 2: she kind of had the opposite opinion of us, where

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Speaker 2: she's like, yes, I understand not wanting to have someone

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Speaker 2: minded by a family member that they don't really know.

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Speaker 2: But the thing that might be different in this story

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Speaker 2: situation is maybe the child has a good relationship with

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Speaker 2: the dad, whereas vally Lily is like the kids just

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Speaker 2: love the dad at a disc or my at it

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Speaker 2: a distance. Yeah, so I think there's there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of difference. But I think the main thing is if

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Speaker 2: you would allow a babysitter that you don't really know

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Speaker 2: that well, or as well as maybe one of like

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Speaker 2: that family member to babysit your kids, it's kind of

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Speaker 2: the same as allowed well.

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Speaker 1: I will say generally, the process of finding a babysitter

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Speaker 1: is like through through interviews and like the level of

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Speaker 1: and like oftentimes like babysitting with the parents there before.

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Speaker 1: So it is kind of a process where you get

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Speaker 1: some level of like seeing them interact with the kids.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I just got someone else. I don't know if

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Speaker 3: we want to do two calls, but little Udon twenty

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Speaker 3: three just hit me up and said, I can tell

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Speaker 3: you right now that all childcare workers do not like

438
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,639
Speaker 3: or care for kids from personal experience.

439
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:51,159
Speaker 2: Wait, all childcare workers hate kids.

440
00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 3: That's what that's what you said.

441
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:56,200
Speaker 2: I was a childcare worker and I love kids. I

442
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 2: judo through special ed kids for a summer and I

443
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:00,640
Speaker 2: love each of those.

444
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,640
Speaker 3: They might not be as amazing as you guys.

445
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:07,439
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, but that disproves that. Yeah, it proves the statement.

446
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly everyone. But we'll just do one call in

447
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 2: per per story and I wait, that's the end of

448
00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 2: that episode. But if you love us, make sure to

449
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:22,040
Speaker 2: subscribe We love you and see it tomorrow. This is

450
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:26,200
Speaker 2: an episode from Deep within the Archives. Time for okop rewash.

451
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 2: How do I tell my parents that I'm gay? I'm

452
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,359
Speaker 2: leaving them, I hate them, and I'm moving with my cousin.

453
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 2: I'm at to tell them. You just say exactly that.

454
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 2: I think you'll lay it down, Street, lay it down,

455
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,879
Speaker 2: all right. I seventeen female, am gay. My dad is

456
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:45,000
Speaker 2: a pastor. That is sometimes a rough combination, and my

457
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 2: family have always been church people. I was forced to

458
00:22:48,359 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 2: come out with my mother decided to check my phone

459
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 2: out of the blue. Oh what did he do? Well?

460
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 2: She had done that in two years since I got

461
00:22:54,680 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 2: my own phone and paid for it myself. Needless to say,

462
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 2: they did not take the news of my gain as well.

463
00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 2: My mother told me to leave, so I did so.

464
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 2: I went to my aunt's house, who was fully aware

465
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:09,720
Speaker 2: of the situation and more than happy to have me say.

466
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,560
Speaker 2: Shortly after I got there, my parents pulled up into

467
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 2: the driveway. My aunt asked me to go outside and

468
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,680
Speaker 2: talk to them, which I did. Oh man, speak some

469
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:20,919
Speaker 2: sentence to them, baby girl. They proceeded to yell at

470
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 2: me for two hours in the yard, while my aunt's

471
00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 2: children were trying to sleep and my younger sister was

472
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:28,879
Speaker 2: crying in the car. Oh pee your parents, son, They like,

473
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:31,080
Speaker 2: they kind of suck. I kind of want to slap

474
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,960
Speaker 2: I want to slibbity slap them on over their stupid faces.

475
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,680
Speaker 2: They told me to give them my keys since the

476
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:38,959
Speaker 2: car was in my dad's name, and as a seventeen

477
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,120
Speaker 2: year old, you know you can't take out a car loan.

478
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,200
Speaker 2: They said they would leave if I did so. I

479
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,760
Speaker 2: gave them the keys and guess what, John what, they

480
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 2: in fact did not leave. Not only are they homophobic suckers,

481
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 2: but they are liars too. How can they be homophobic?

482
00:23:54,040 --> 00:24:01,800
Speaker 2: They're assholes and they are homophobic is good? But they

483
00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:05,000
Speaker 2: are alone. My mom went home while my dad yelled

484
00:24:05,080 --> 00:24:07,679
Speaker 2: some more, and when he called me the devil jeez,

485
00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:10,920
Speaker 2: I went inside and locked the door. My aunt tried

486
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 2: to console me, but she had to work the next morning,

487
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,399
Speaker 2: so I asked her to go to bed. Oh no, terrible.

488
00:24:15,680 --> 00:24:18,200
Speaker 2: The next day was Sunday, the large day, and no

489
00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,160
Speaker 2: one was home at my aunt's house because I guess

490
00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:22,120
Speaker 2: they were all in church. And my dad came back

491
00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:24,640
Speaker 2: and let himself into the house while I was sleeping

492
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 2: creep off with these parents. He said he was sorry, okay, okay,

493
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 2: all right, and asked me to come to church with him.

494
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 2: And I agreed to go with him that night, but

495
00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,840
Speaker 2: only if he left right then. So she's like, hey, yeah,

496
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 2: my fricking room. Dad. He said he'd be back at six.

497
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,439
Speaker 2: I have a cousin who's only a few months younger

498
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,600
Speaker 2: than me, and that lives next door to my aunt,

499
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:47,240
Speaker 2: and I went over to the house because I didn't

500
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 2: feel comfortable being home alone. Sometime during my visit, she said, hey,

501
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 2: you know B, we were calling her. B said you

502
00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,240
Speaker 2: could stay at her house. She has a spare room. Okay.

503
00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: I then proceeded ask who B was. Who is B?

504
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,200
Speaker 2: It turned out she was my older cousin, who I

505
00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 2: had never met. He offered to take me over to

506
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:05,639
Speaker 2: talk to her. She was really nice and said if

507
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,640
Speaker 2: I helped clean out the room out, it was mine

508
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 2: and my cat could stay. Too big enough for the

509
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 2: whole family. That's a pretty good deal. When I got

510
00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,879
Speaker 2: back to my aunt's house around four, she still wasn't home,

511
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,240
Speaker 2: but her fiance and children were. We chatted for about

512
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,320
Speaker 2: ten minutes before my mom pulled into the driveway. What's

513
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,000
Speaker 2: with these parents always pulled into the driveway. She's like,

514
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 2: there's a trifay for me to pull in and doing

515
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,359
Speaker 2: my bigotry everywhere. She came inside and told me I

516
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,280
Speaker 2: was going home with her right now, or she was

517
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 2: calling the cops. Take up your mind? Are you kicking

518
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 2: her out?

519
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:34,920
Speaker 3: Or?

520
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:37,440
Speaker 2: God? She said, they may not be able to do

521
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,159
Speaker 2: anything to me, but if they came, they'd take my

522
00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,560
Speaker 2: aunt's children away from her. Maybe it's because, like, like,

523
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 2: you know, holding some kidnapping. God give me a break.

524
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 2: My aunt's trailer had some problems that she'd been working

525
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 2: on getting fixed and that are now corrected, which I

526
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 2: guess maybe they could use against her. Her fiance told

527
00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,359
Speaker 2: me that I could stay and that he wasn't worried,

528
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,240
Speaker 2: but I was my aunt and her family or my

529
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 2: whole world, and my mother knew exactly what she was

530
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:05,440
Speaker 2: doing and threatening them. I felt I had caused enough

531
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,640
Speaker 2: problems and went home with my mother. Now I love

532
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,920
Speaker 2: to read. I had a very large book collection, totaling

533
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 2: in around three thousand dollars. Three thousand dollars a lot.

534
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 2: That's a lot of books. Bro, It's like a hundred bucks.

535
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 2: You smart, you smart? You were smarty pants over here.

536
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:21,760
Speaker 2: All of my books were in my car, as I

537
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,159
Speaker 2: had no intention on leaving them. When I got to

538
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 2: the house with my mother, the rest of the family

539
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 2: was sitting in the yard around a huge pile of

540
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 2: my books. Oh my god, what's going on? And they

541
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 2: were burning all the books like a big family bonding experience.

542
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 2: What the fuck is wrong? Wow? When they finished, my

543
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 2: parents came into my old room and interrogated me. When

544
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 2: the questions got close to my brother fifteen mail, who

545
00:26:47,600 --> 00:26:50,359
Speaker 2: is bisexual, I refused to answer and wouldn't tell them

546
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,920
Speaker 2: why what. When they wouldn't drop it, I grabbed my

547
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 2: shoes and left on foot. I asked my neighbor to

548
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,280
Speaker 2: call my aunt and cut to come get me, but

549
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 2: my mom met us outside before she got the chance.

550
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 2: She said she'd take me back to my aunts after church,

551
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 2: so I again left my mother. Dude, Ope, this sucks actually,

552
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:08,560
Speaker 2: Like you're trying to think, like, what do you do

553
00:27:08,640 --> 00:27:12,320
Speaker 2: in this situation right now? Yeah, I'm building up a

554
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 2: response as we're going through it. It's like maybe trying

555
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,920
Speaker 2: to get a part time job and just like leave

556
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:21,479
Speaker 2: and get money while you're living with your aunts. Suck. Hopefully,

557
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:24,119
Speaker 2: hopefully one of these family members seems like the cousin

558
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,880
Speaker 2: she doesn't know as well or the aunt, like hopefully

559
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,520
Speaker 2: some sort of configuration there. But it seems like some

560
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:33,640
Speaker 2: of the family members are are our supportive, our supportive. Yeah,

561
00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:36,040
Speaker 2: she said she'd take me back to my aunt's after church,

562
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 2: so again left with my mother. True to her word,

563
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 2: after a horrendous church service, she took me back to

564
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,720
Speaker 2: my aunt's. She said she'd pick me up for work

565
00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,119
Speaker 2: in the morning and to have my bags packed because

566
00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,360
Speaker 2: I was staying home after that. The next day, at work,

567
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:51,080
Speaker 2: Bee's brother told me to send her the address and

568
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: she'd come get me when she got off work. Though

569
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 2: I didn't know who be was. It became very clear

570
00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 2: that my parents did when she came to pick me up.

571
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 2: Oh I wish I still had pictures of the holes

572
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 2: my father left in the wall because he was that

573
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 2: mad that he just freaking went hulk on that shit. God.

574
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 2: I've been staying with Bee, her brother, and her long

575
00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:12,199
Speaker 2: term girlfriend for about three months now, and I've never

576
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 2: been happier. I have a semi okay relationship with my

577
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,560
Speaker 2: parents as I'm trying to be the bigger person. Okay,

578
00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,880
Speaker 2: So like Op, he's now staying in a better place good.

579
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 2: She's with her family, who seem much more accepting. The

580
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,640
Speaker 2: problem is we have all decided to move about two

581
00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,679
Speaker 2: hours away, so the movie two hours away from their parents.

582
00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:32,800
Speaker 2: I'm really excited, but I don't know how to approach

583
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:34,680
Speaker 2: the subject with my parents. I want to tell them

584
00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,840
Speaker 2: of it before we move, because I don't want to

585
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:39,320
Speaker 2: harm the relationship, but I have a few concerns. One

586
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 2: B is more than okay with me telling my parents, However,

587
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,880
Speaker 2: she doesn't want the whole family inner business, namely my uncle,

588
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 2: my mom's brother, but I know my parents are going

589
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 2: to tell everybody. And Two, I'm not eighteen yet I

590
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 2: won't be for a few more months. So can my

591
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 2: parents take legal action? We aren't moving out of state

592
00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 2: and I have been collecting mail here, but I'm still

593
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 2: a minor can take legal action? Is there any way

594
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:05,760
Speaker 2: to prevent them from doing so? Please help? Okay, okay,

595
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 2: we really loved help. We were not lawyers. We are not.

596
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:14,920
Speaker 2: But something I do know is you can get emancipated

597
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 2: from your parents. Yeah, I'm not really sure how that works.

598
00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 2: Let's see emancipation. So it's not easy to get emancipated

599
00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: from your parents when you're under eighteen. Emancipation is a

600
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 2: legal process that gives a minor of the right to

601
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 2: make their own decisions and be responsible for their own

602
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:32,320
Speaker 2: well being. In most states, you have to be at

603
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:35,040
Speaker 2: least eighteen to be emancipated. However, there are some limited

604
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 2: circumstances under which a minor can be emancipated before the

605
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 2: age of eighteen. These circumstances vary by state, but they

606
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 2: conclude being married, being on active military duty, or being

607
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 2: self supporting and financially independent. Okay, so join the army,

608
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 2: get a bee, or be financially independent if you're seven,

609
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: Oh go ahead, Oh yeah, sorry to cut you, but

610
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 2: I don't know anything about any thing. But I I

611
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,000
Speaker 2: feel like you have a decent case for emancipation here.

612
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 2: I think you do. I think you do. I mean

613
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 2: you could also wait it out, you know, however long

614
00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:13,840
Speaker 2: it is, but because I imagine the legal process to

615
00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 2: emancipate yourself might take more than that. Yeah, that's that's

616
00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 2: actually a great point.

617
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I probably, like this is again, we

618
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:26,040
Speaker 1: are not the experts or whatever, but if I'm like thinking,

619
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: if I'm in your shoes, I would probably just move

620
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 1: with them, and like, luckily, like there's only a few

621
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,560
Speaker 1: months left, so I think like after those few months,

622
00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:34,440
Speaker 1: you should be in the clear.

623
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's tough one. Yeah. The thing is because like,

624
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:40,719
Speaker 2: if you're seventeen, your parents have legal right to make

625
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 2: decisions about your care and custody until your turn eighteen,

626
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:47,280
Speaker 2: so they can decide who you will live with. That's true.

627
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 2: But a minor who is seventeen may be able to

628
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:55,400
Speaker 2: petition the court for a change in their living rage arrangements,

629
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 2: which is known as custody modification or change of custody.

630
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 2: Interesting but yet to prove to the where that there's

631
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,120
Speaker 2: good reasons for the change. Yeah, I mean, there's great

632
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:09,760
Speaker 2: evidence like this podcast, this podcast. Hey, this in your

633
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 2: petition for a man.

634
00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 1: If we get we used in court, that would be crazy.

635
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 1: But I would look into those options. It seems like

636
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:19,080
Speaker 1: you've you've found a family member and be willing to

637
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,720
Speaker 1: take you in. You know, you're already working like it's

638
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 1: it seems like you're on your path of independence. So

639
00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 1: I would keep researching and trying to join the military,

640
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 1: or join the military, or get married army strong, but

641
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 1: above be financially Hey, if you join the military, you

642
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 1: will be financially independent, and people in the military get.

643
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:38,280
Speaker 2: Buried very quickly. This is true.

644
00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: You'll probably you'll get all three. Dude trying to be

645
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 1: a independent military wife. Hey, isn't that the dream?

646
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 2: That's the dream.