Speaker 1: Ka boom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes
Speaker 1: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearing house of
Speaker 1: hot takes, break free for something special. The Fifth Hour
Speaker 1: with Ben Maller starts right now. Morning madness in the
Speaker 1: air everywhere. Well go man, the beginning of another edition
Speaker 1: of The Fifth Hour with Ben Mallard. That would be
Speaker 1: me flying solo today, but not flying solo because this
Speaker 1: is a Friday podcast, and that means an opportunity to
Speaker 1: catch up with one of our friends, one of our
Speaker 1: our buddies in radio, and a morning drive sensation of
Speaker 1: the Fox Sports Radio Nation. And this just get right
Speaker 1: into it here. No small talk. I'm not a small
Speaker 1: talk guy. Jonas Knox. Now, Jonas used to work on
Speaker 1: my show. He said just about every job you could
Speaker 1: have at Fox Sports Radio over the years. But he
Speaker 1: is the newest edition the company. A couple of weeks
Speaker 1: ago hired a Jonas full time. He had been filling
Speaker 1: in once Clay Travis left to replace the Great Rush
Speaker 1: Limbaugh and Jonas is our new morning guy. I mean
Speaker 1: you probably know that now if you're listening to me,
Speaker 1: you know who Jonas is. And Jonas has done some
Speaker 1: overnights on the weekends, and as I said, he worked
Speaker 1: on my show. He's worked all over the clock. He's
Speaker 1: been the fill in guy, you name it, and Jonas
Speaker 1: has done it is he has certainly paid his dues.
Speaker 1: And now he is the lead host on Two Pros
Speaker 1: and a Cup of Joe in the Morning with the
Speaker 1: aforementioned uh Jonas Knox and LaVar Arrington and Brady quinn
Speaker 1: As they all work together on the morning Drive on
Speaker 1: Fox Sports Radio, and I'm the leading to those guys.
Speaker 1: But I'm excited to have Jonas on here and welcome Jonas,
Speaker 1: and it's good to have you here. Congratulations on the gig.
Speaker 1: And how has your life changed in amazing and magical
Speaker 1: ways now that you are a morning drive host, morning
Speaker 1: drive syndicated host, that's a big deal. How have things changed, Jonas?
Speaker 1: I mean, to be honest with you, the first producing
Speaker 1: shift that I ever did at Fox Sports Radio was
Speaker 1: as an assistant producer for Zack and Jack in this
Speaker 1: exact time slot and I can remember the great Annie's
Speaker 1: that they're VI's telling me when she called me up
Speaker 1: to say, hey, we want to we want to make
Speaker 1: you the assistant producer so you can be there for
Speaker 1: that show, uh and be there in studio, And I
Speaker 1: remember her telling me, you know it is gonna be
Speaker 1: a lifestyle change, and that it's not going to be
Speaker 1: that much of a lifestyle change. And then you start
Speaker 1: waking up at one am and you realize, oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: it's over. Whatever life you thought you knew before. You
Speaker 1: can go ahead and you put a bowl on it.
Speaker 1: You can close the cop and on that. That is
Speaker 1: a wrap the old Let's go to happy hour and
Speaker 1: if you're feeling frisky, let's go to late night bowling.
Speaker 1: Those days are dead. If you don't get to bet
Speaker 1: at a certain amount of time, you walk around like
Speaker 1: a zombie the rest of the day. But what it
Speaker 1: did teach me is getting as used to the time
Speaker 1: slot as you possibly could, and then to go from
Speaker 1: that to then working with Andy Furman and ar Charles
Speaker 1: Hawkins and then Andy Ferman and Mike North and getting
Speaker 1: to actually fill in on this show at other times
Speaker 1: before the time the time slot would throw a lot
Speaker 1: of people off. But you know this because we've worked
Speaker 1: in weird time slots all over the network. Once you
Speaker 1: start doing it a few times, it becomes your normal
Speaker 1: routine and it's not that crazy. You just can't partake
Speaker 1: in some of the other things that people with normal
Speaker 1: nine to five jobs can partake in. Yeah, exactly. I
Speaker 1: mean people say I have bad hours, but you know,
Speaker 1: compared to you know you, I mean, you're doing a
Speaker 1: morning drive show, but you're on the West Coast and
Speaker 1: it's an East Coast morning drive show, so it's it's
Speaker 1: a little backwards. And I think that in the history
Speaker 1: of Fox Sports Radio, I'm a bit of a historian
Speaker 1: when it comes to not with the Lakers, but when
Speaker 1: it comes to Fox Sports Radio, Jonas and Night, I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure that you're the first morning show that's mostly
Speaker 1: based on in l a in the studio because he
Speaker 1: usually it's been I mean, I go way back to
Speaker 1: like Steve Zaban when he did it from d C
Speaker 1: and some of the you mentioned many of the other
Speaker 1: guys that have done the morning show, but it's usually
Speaker 1: been somebody either in the Midwest or on the East Coast.
Speaker 1: And so what is a day in the life, like
Speaker 1: because you just mentioned you can't live the life that
Speaker 1: you once live. You're married now though, of course you
Speaker 1: can't do that Jonas. But uh, of course weak weak
Speaker 1: not but uh but like I, I have a weird schedule. Well,
Speaker 1: well you have. I mean, when you sleep, what's what's
Speaker 1: a day in the life. So what I do is
Speaker 1: I learned just from working in this time slot that
Speaker 1: if I try and wake up it's say two AM
Speaker 1: for a three am show on the West Coast, it
Speaker 1: just ain't happening. So I figured out, when I was
Speaker 1: producing it years and years and years ago, I would
Speaker 1: wake up at midnight or about twelve fifteen, twelve thirty,
Speaker 1: and I would get a workout in. So I would
Speaker 1: work out. I would do a workout, and I would
Speaker 1: do cardio and that would usually go for an hour
Speaker 1: or so and anywhere between an hour to an hour fifteen.
Speaker 1: And once I got my body moving like that, then
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you start getting your head right.
Speaker 1: And you're getting your head right for the show. But
Speaker 1: you start getting your head right, you've had your fully hydrated,
Speaker 1: because you know, I'm a water junkie, so I drink
Speaker 1: a bunch of water, you've got a good sweat in,
Speaker 1: you've got a bunch of energy, you drink some coffee,
Speaker 1: and you're ready to rock. And then and then and
Speaker 1: then all is well, and then you know, at about
Speaker 1: I would say probably six fifteen to six thirty Pacific
Speaker 1: time is usually about the time that I'm dozing off
Speaker 1: as I passed to Soto on the one on one,
Speaker 1: and then I realized, all right, you know, why don't
Speaker 1: I go ahead and steer back into traffic so I
Speaker 1: don't go over the side here. But no, it's it's
Speaker 1: you know, it's rough at times, but I try and
Speaker 1: get my naps in the whole, you know, seven eight
Speaker 1: hours sleep, I don't know. Listen, if anybody out there
Speaker 1: is getting seven and eight hours sleep, I don't know. Man.
Speaker 1: If I sleep longer than five or six hours, I
Speaker 1: wake up and my back is killing me, I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, it just doesn't feel right. So I'm used
Speaker 1: to being pretty on the go. Um, Naps help, Coffee helps, uh,
Speaker 1: staying hydrated helps, and you know, not you know, not
Speaker 1: licking the lid or bending the elbow or sucking them back,
Speaker 1: you know, during the week I think probably helps out
Speaker 1: as well too. But yeah, it's just it's it's anything, man.
Speaker 1: You just try and get used to it as best
Speaker 1: you can, and you know you're trying to screw up
Speaker 1: or but you know, I remember it years ago when
Speaker 1: I was I briefly worked in morning radio for a
Speaker 1: very short time, and it I'm not a morning person.
Speaker 1: I wish I was, because usually that's where the money
Speaker 1: is in radio in the mornings and all that, but
Speaker 1: I'm not. And so I tried. I tried to make
Speaker 1: it like an overnight thing where I just stay up
Speaker 1: all night and then I'd go to bed at like
Speaker 1: ten thirty in the morning. And that did not go
Speaker 1: well that. There's several just like as you were joking around,
Speaker 1: I mean I got almost every day. It was almost
Speaker 1: an accident on the way home. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'll be fine, you know, a little problem. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'll just make it like an overnight show. And it
Speaker 1: was it was, oh, listen, you turn into Tony Larusa.
Speaker 1: You fall asleep and stop like you know, but you don't.
Speaker 1: You don't have an eight team back everything exact. You like,
Speaker 1: look your your honor, I promise you if you want
Speaker 1: to look at my you know, check my blood alcohol level.
Speaker 1: At that point, I could I could assure you I
Speaker 1: did not need to roll through the red light with
Speaker 1: full traffic there. It was just, uh, you know, that's
Speaker 1: that's part of the job. But but now it's and
Speaker 1: and here's here's the other thing with me. And I'm
Speaker 1: a sick, sick bastard. I always I cannot do anything
Speaker 1: unless I the first thing I have to do every
Speaker 1: single day is get a workout in. I have to
Speaker 1: like it. Literally, if if I don't do that, then
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm behind, and so my my mentality
Speaker 1: and I'm a psychopath like this is. I love the
Speaker 1: feeling of working out first thing in the morning, in
Speaker 1: the pitch black, even if I didn't need to get up.
Speaker 1: I used to listen. I would listen to Clay Travis's
Speaker 1: show because I would be going to the gym. Back
Speaker 1: before you know, Warden K. Newsome shut of Staticus in
Speaker 1: the wreck Yard for our entire life. But back when
Speaker 1: gyms were open, I I remember listening to to Clay
Speaker 1: Travis and going back and forth, and I loved the
Speaker 1: feeling of knowing that every person I passed by after
Speaker 1: I left the gym was lazier than me for whatever reason.
Speaker 1: That's just how like I'm a sick bastard and in
Speaker 1: my mind psychology wise, so getting getting a head start
Speaker 1: like that, Like I've always been a big fan. I've
Speaker 1: always loved morning, so I feel it's a great way
Speaker 1: to get things going. And then you start doing the
Speaker 1: math and you realize, you know, just because you wake
Speaker 1: up four hours earlier than a normal human being, but
Speaker 1: you end up sleeping at a better four hour window
Speaker 1: later on of the day. You guys are pretty much
Speaker 1: even like you. You're just you're trying to trick yourself.
Speaker 1: Like if you're not, you don't really have any sort
Speaker 1: of competitive edge. Yeah, but as far as the working out,
Speaker 1: I mean, you actually do work out. My idea of
Speaker 1: a workout is going on the treadmill and and walking.
Speaker 1: But I I used to love before King Newsom shut
Speaker 1: down the state of California and the gyms and all that.
Speaker 1: Now and I haven't I haven't been back. I used
Speaker 1: to love going to the gym because you know, it
Speaker 1: was it was great in the gym was open. I
Speaker 1: went to twenty four hour Fitness and they were open.
Speaker 1: They're not even open twenty four hours anymore. And I
Speaker 1: would go. I would do the overnight show, and then
Speaker 1: I would stop on my way way home, either at
Speaker 1: the one across the street from the station, or i'd
Speaker 1: go to one where I was living. And you know,
Speaker 1: it was great because i'd hang, i'd work out. By
Speaker 1: the time I got there was like, you know, four
Speaker 1: am or whatever, and I work out and all these
Speaker 1: the old folks would come in right the wearing their
Speaker 1: sneakers and all that, the gray hairs. They had no
Speaker 1: idea who I was. And it was great. I loved it.
Speaker 1: And you know, why would they, I mean, radio guy,
Speaker 1: But but it was awesome and I'm friends and all that. Wait,
Speaker 1: you know, I knew all the old people at the
Speaker 1: gym and then it all ended one day. Yeah it's
Speaker 1: and listen, uh. And and there are windows, there's pockets
Speaker 1: of people because I've gone to the gym at all
Speaker 1: hours of the day, and I can tell you starting
Speaker 1: at about minutes so you'll get your people in there,
Speaker 1: and around eleven forty five midnight. From from about midnight
Speaker 1: to one am, it's people that like to work out
Speaker 1: late for whatever reason. They work, you know, jobs, and
Speaker 1: they're working a night shift. And then there's this sweet
Speaker 1: spot from about one thirty to three thirty, and you
Speaker 1: get gothic people, and you and you, and you get
Speaker 1: and you get strippers. And I'm not kidding you. And
Speaker 1: I've always said this, I'm not good at a lot,
Speaker 1: but but I can spot a couple of things right away.
Speaker 1: I can spot a closet degenerate gambler, and I can
Speaker 1: spot an off duty stripper from a mile away. I
Speaker 1: have a cent. It is a god given ability. It's
Speaker 1: one of my only god given abilities. When when you're
Speaker 1: on when you're on a treadmill, okay, when you're on
Speaker 1: the elliptical, it's and it's two fifteen in the morning,
Speaker 1: and you've got eyeliner on, come on, come on, come on,
Speaker 1: you you a me home? What the Andy Furman's favorite quote.
Speaker 1: You can Yeah, I was born. I was born to night,
Speaker 1: but not last night. Not last night. Yeah. Well the
Speaker 1: other thing too. I would I usually would go, like,
Speaker 1: you know, four in the morning, and i'd leave by
Speaker 1: the time the morning rush kind of came into people
Speaker 1: that had real nine to five jobs that we work out.
Speaker 1: But occasionally I would go in the evening and it
Speaker 1: was like the club. It was like, you know, there
Speaker 1: were a bunch of women like I don't know, I
Speaker 1: don't think they were strippers, but they were. They were
Speaker 1: wearing makeup trying to, you know, get get the eye
Speaker 1: of a guy or and vice versa man. It was
Speaker 1: like it was like a club in the evening time
Speaker 1: after work. I've never understood going to a gym to
Speaker 1: try and pick up on somebody, like I've never like,
Speaker 1: when I go to the gym, the last thing I
Speaker 1: want to do is talk to anybody. I don't want
Speaker 1: to talk to anybody like That's people don't understand this.
Speaker 1: They look at what we do and they go and look,
Speaker 1: we are very we're blessed and lucky to get to
Speaker 1: do what we do, like we're really really lucky. But like,
Speaker 1: the one thing people understand it is if you work
Speaker 1: three hours or four hours, like the weekend overnight show
Speaker 1: is four hours, all right, So you do four hours
Speaker 1: five days a week, which is crazy, and people don't
Speaker 1: understand that. You know, they go, oh, well, you're just
Speaker 1: working four hours. I work eight to night hours of
Speaker 1: my job, okay, but you're not having to talk the
Speaker 1: entire time, okay. And you and I are cut from
Speaker 1: the same cloths where we actually care about doing good radio,
Speaker 1: which is why we don't just want to fill up
Speaker 1: our entire show with a bunch of guests, because because
Speaker 1: we want to kick our feet up and and so
Speaker 1: when you when I leave the show on Friday nights,
Speaker 1: the last thing I want to do is talk to anybody.
Speaker 1: Like my my wife could be in the middle of
Speaker 1: telling me we just won the lotto, and I would
Speaker 1: tell her leave me alone for the next eight hours.
Speaker 1: Like I don't want to talk to anybody. I just
Speaker 1: want to be left. So just the idea of going
Speaker 1: to the gym and sparking up a conversation with somebody,
Speaker 1: I just is not not appealing to me. I'm sick
Speaker 1: of my voice at that point. I'm sick of hearing myself.
Speaker 1: I'm tired, and I just I've never understood people that
Speaker 1: can can roll up on somebody and start trying to,
Speaker 1: you know, pick up a date. I never got. Well,
Speaker 1: you're absolutely appreciating the choir Jonas, and we are very
Speaker 1: similar in that respect. And uh, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: know your wife that much. I obviously met her at
Speaker 1: the wedding. I know she's a big talker. My wife
Speaker 1: is great because when I on the weekend. She loves
Speaker 1: to talk, and so I'm like people in the family,
Speaker 1: they're like, you don't really work in radio, you don't
Speaker 1: you don't know. I just sit there and you know,
Speaker 1: look at my phone or the TV. I don't want
Speaker 1: to and and the other thing. It's funny. We were
Speaker 1: at an event last week and the guy we were,
Speaker 1: you know, small talk, and I hate doing small talk.
Speaker 1: I don't like that either, but you know, I was.
Speaker 1: I was trying to be polite. I think I was
Speaker 1: a nice guy. And so then it got to the
Speaker 1: point of what you do for a living. And so
Speaker 1: at this point I pivoted and uh, and I said,
Speaker 1: I'm in sales. Because we really are in sales. Jonas
Speaker 1: were the most important in part, as John Sterling said
Speaker 1: on this podcast, is to sell the soup. So I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm a sales guy. And the guy looks at me.
Speaker 1: It's like, you don't talk, you can't be in sales.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I I am. Because you know what,
Speaker 1: it nevibly, inevitably will happen if I could talk. Is
Speaker 1: when you when you say you're in radio, and then
Speaker 1: you say you're in sports radio, what's the next question
Speaker 1: you get Jonas, it's what are your thoughts on this? Yeah,
Speaker 1: who's gonna win the Super Bowl? Who's gonna win the
Speaker 1: World Series? What do you think of the Lakers? And
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want to deal with it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to deal with it. And so I
Speaker 1: always sales. I when I had the website, when I
Speaker 1: did the Ben Mallay dot com thing, I don't I'm
Speaker 1: an internet guy. I'm a programmer on the Internet, but
Speaker 1: I don't do that anymore. So I always my default
Speaker 1: is sales say kind of in the conversation. I swear
Speaker 1: to God, I'm not even embellishing this. I have done
Speaker 1: this before, and I've done it in front of uh
Speaker 1: family and friends who look at me like, why what
Speaker 1: a weird thing to lie about. I've had people say so,
Speaker 1: so what do you do? Like, oh, you know, work,
Speaker 1: just work, you know, hang out, just already work. And
Speaker 1: when they say where do you work, I'm like, all right,
Speaker 1: we'll good because I say, oh, Sherman Oaks. And then
Speaker 1: if if we get the stage three of the lie
Speaker 1: and they go, oh, what do you do out there?
Speaker 1: I go, oh, I just work, you know, my bunch
Speaker 1: of office buildings. I've done that multiple times because I just,
Speaker 1: first of all, I don't think I'm interesting at all,
Speaker 1: and I think I think what other people do is
Speaker 1: so much more interesting than me. I could sit and
Speaker 1: watch the Food Network the entire day. I think it's
Speaker 1: fascinating what they do, the way they put stuff together,
Speaker 1: the way they the way I just I think, like,
Speaker 1: I love talking to people about what they do because
Speaker 1: I just have no interest in talking about myself. I
Speaker 1: think there's nothing appealing, there's nothing interesting. I would rather
Speaker 1: it's like when people call in and they're actually working,
Speaker 1: doing security or driving across the road. I love hearing
Speaker 1: what their work day is, like, Hey, so what do
Speaker 1: you doing? If they're tossing papers, if they're like whatever,
Speaker 1: it is like, so, what's going on there right now?
Speaker 1: What do you got going on? Because I'm I'm legitimately interested.
Speaker 1: I'm not interested in anything I got going on, so
Speaker 1: I know what I got going on. I'm a slap dick,
Speaker 1: right there's going on, but I'm interested in what they
Speaker 1: got going on. And uh and yeah, I just And
Speaker 1: people sometimes might take that for you know, awkwardness, or
Speaker 1: it's to me, it's just when you do this and
Speaker 1: you're talking as much as we do. Sometimes you just
Speaker 1: want to listen. You don't have anything to say. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: it's weird. I I agree, and I occasionally I'll go out.
Speaker 1: My kitchen has been all messed up this this last
Speaker 1: couple of months. I've been moved. I moved and so
Speaker 1: that I've been able to eat at home. And so,
Speaker 1: you know, I know, you eat healthy jonas, you you
Speaker 1: eat a King's diet, but I occasionally will stray and
Speaker 1: eat fast food. And I I love raising canes. And
Speaker 1: I was at raising cans. It was it was just slammed.
Speaker 1: And I'm looking at these people who are not making
Speaker 1: a lot of money putting food together, busting their ass,
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking they're working hard. I know rich people.
Speaker 1: I've been fortunate enough to meet some really wealthy people
Speaker 1: that have high paying jobs that don't work as hard
Speaker 1: and don't have as much stress as the person at
Speaker 1: the fast food joint putting the fried chicken together and
Speaker 1: the fries and all that. It's crazy. It's it's it's
Speaker 1: look I worked. I mean, I have worked at so
Speaker 1: many different places. T G I Friday's. Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: I you know, wash dishes at a place in Charleston
Speaker 1: while I was on the radio at night, which, let
Speaker 1: me tell you something you want to know humbling. Humbling
Speaker 1: is when you're doing the morning show in Charleston, South Carolina,
Speaker 1: and then you show up to your restaurant job later
Speaker 1: on at night, and as you walk, as you walk
Speaker 1: into the kitchen to wash dishes, you hear sporting news
Speaker 1: radio and guys like Arnie Span your Tim Remember Tim Montemyer,
Speaker 1: I do. I worked with I worked with him at
Speaker 1: the in l A. He was an l A radio guy. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I remember one of the guys in the kitchen
Speaker 1: as I'm getting ready to wash dishes because because it's
Speaker 1: market eighty three and no joke, every two weeks from
Speaker 1: my full time radio job, by the way, full time
Speaker 1: meaning in a small market, I'm the anchor, I'm the host,
Speaker 1: I'm the co host on the board op, I'm the
Speaker 1: imaging guy on the producer. You've got to learn how
Speaker 1: to do everything, which is great because it helped me
Speaker 1: anywhere I got later on. But I remember I made
Speaker 1: seven hundred and forty four dollars every two weeks after taxes, right,
Speaker 1: that was my pay every after taxes seven or forty
Speaker 1: four dollars. I remember walking into the kitchen at this place,
Speaker 1: I think it was called Sesame and I've got which
Speaker 1: mall in North Charleston. And remember as I walked in,
Speaker 1: one of the guys says to be as the radio
Speaker 1: is played, Hey, what are you on here this morning? Like?
Speaker 1: You know what? Thank you? Yes, you're that is accurate? Correct?
Speaker 1: Can you you you were on? Can you wash my dishes?
Speaker 1: That you? Yeah? Can you put away the plates? Can
Speaker 1: you get me a new spatula? It? But I got
Speaker 1: a little grind on it. Well you know, now how
Speaker 1: many years ago you've been this many years ago you
Speaker 1: were in Charleston, right. My my niece is actually going
Speaker 1: to college in Charleston, South Carolina. Saw she's she's in
Speaker 1: college college. She's she's at Charleston. So she's she's at
Speaker 1: the the old the old School. Any restaurant recommendations are okay,
Speaker 1: well you go to Charleston. Um. Now there's the reason
Speaker 1: why I asked what school is because in Charleston it's
Speaker 1: like a closet, really fun party town. So you've got
Speaker 1: you've got college at Charleston obviously, which is in downtown.
Speaker 1: That's where she got Charleston. You got, you got Charleston Southern,
Speaker 1: which is at North Charleston, and I lived right up
Speaker 1: the road from there, you know, and I could I
Speaker 1: started to figure out as I tried to get more
Speaker 1: and more people to come over and hang out when
Speaker 1: I would go out, nobody seemed to want to go
Speaker 1: to North Charleston. I couldn't figure out why. And then
Speaker 1: I saw a report that it was voted the eighth
Speaker 1: most dangerous city in the US. And there I was okay, well, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: wonder one bedroom was five fifty dollars. Now makes sense.
Speaker 1: But you go, So there's that, and then there's the Citadel,
Speaker 1: which is the military school. Um and uh and so
Speaker 1: that's also in downtown Charleston. Anywhere on Market Street, King Street. Uh,
Speaker 1: those are always fun. Uh. In surrounding areas. If you
Speaker 1: can go to a mount Pleasant has got some good
Speaker 1: spots out there. Um, where's some other one. Fawley Beach
Speaker 1: is a good place to go. I can get after
Speaker 1: a little bit. But yeah, I can remember just walking
Speaker 1: around because I didn't have any friends out there. I
Speaker 1: didn't know anybody, and so I would bar hot by myself.
Speaker 1: And the one problem with bar hoping by yourself is
Speaker 1: when you don't have conversation to break up SIPs to
Speaker 1: your drinks, you get absolutely mangled in about an hour.
Speaker 1: I can I can remember. I can were walking through Charleston,
Speaker 1: hammered and trying not to trip over my feet on
Speaker 1: the cobblestone walkways, and I'm thinking, man, this is like
Speaker 1: seventeen century stuff. This is like historic. You know, there's
Speaker 1: people that probably fought and died for these lands. And
Speaker 1: here I am wreaking the booze and I just got
Speaker 1: here forty five minutes ago because I don't know what
Speaker 1: damn single person here, and I've only got about thirty
Speaker 1: dollars to spend, including the cab right to get back
Speaker 1: to North Charleston because I make so little money in
Speaker 1: my quote unquote dream job. But it was a great time,
Speaker 1: fun times all the way through. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know,
Speaker 1: I hear. And when I when your name comes up, though, Jonas,
Speaker 1: the one thing that people often bring up is Chuck E. Cheese,
Speaker 1: the cartoon rodent that you famously wore the costume. Was
Speaker 1: this a right? And you've told me the story. I
Speaker 1: was this a part time thing? Was this were you
Speaker 1: filling in you said the kids were terrible. Yeah, they're
Speaker 1: they're awful. They're there, and let me tell you, Like, uh,
Speaker 1: so here's what happened. So I grew up poor, so
Speaker 1: we always had to have jobs. So there was you know,
Speaker 1: we didn't I never got an allowance of my entire
Speaker 1: life anything we wanted, Like we had to have jobs,
Speaker 1: like you were poor. And so from the earliest, like
Speaker 1: I was a janitor at an elementary school when I
Speaker 1: probably wasn't old enough to be a janitor in an
Speaker 1: elementary school. Like I was, like, I did anything I could.
Speaker 1: I was in high school and I needed a job,
Speaker 1: and my buddy said, hey, Chuck E Cheese just opened
Speaker 1: up and they were paying like more than minimum wage.
Speaker 1: And minimum wage was like five seventy five or whatever
Speaker 1: it was back then. Chuck E Cheese was paying like
Speaker 1: six oh five. And if you could get twenty cents more,
Speaker 1: I mean, at the time, you're thinking, man, this is fantastic.
Speaker 1: So nobody nobody signs up to be the damn rat. Okay,
Speaker 1: nobody signs up to dress like a giant stuffed animal
Speaker 1: and get abused by a bunch of spore little brats.
Speaker 1: Nobody wants that but you get there and everybody's got
Speaker 1: to take turns doing it, and so you know, you
Speaker 1: gotta you gotta clean up birthday parties, and you gotta
Speaker 1: throw stuff away and bus tables, and you know, to
Speaker 1: work the game machine and sweep up and do all
Speaker 1: these things. And then every everybody, depending on the shift,
Speaker 1: takes turns doing Chucky. And I think it was like
Speaker 1: twice an hour maybe or once an hour. It's it's
Speaker 1: basically the you know, the national updates at Fox Sports Radio,
Speaker 1: and that's that's when Chucky takes takes stage twice an hour.
Speaker 1: And so I remember the first time they had me
Speaker 1: do it. I wanted to make my buddy laugh. And
Speaker 1: when you dance up on the stage, it goes up
Speaker 1: on the blue screen on all the little TVs around
Speaker 1: the restaurant, and so I knew that he was watching,
Speaker 1: and nobody knew that it was me. So I was
Speaker 1: doing remember the Jamal Anderson Dirty Birds? Oh yeah, that,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I did. I did that. I would like
Speaker 1: the the the Akey Shuffle, I did the shot. Did
Speaker 1: you do the river? Did you do the river danceco
Speaker 1: River Dance? Oh? Like anything I could come up. So
Speaker 1: at one point I was doing ravishing rick rude. When
Speaker 1: I started getting really really caught, like cocky about it.
Speaker 1: I started doing ravishing rick rude, which is the hip gyration,
Speaker 1: and then I would I would rub my hands against
Speaker 1: my chest and act like I was throwing sweat at
Speaker 1: people's face like it was so I was. I started
Speaker 1: going over there because I just thought, all this is temporary,
Speaker 1: and then all of a sudden they just kept me
Speaker 1: doing it, and it would be like a month, and
Speaker 1: then a month and a half and then two and
Speaker 1: finally I'm like, man, like, I'm getting tired of this
Speaker 1: because you're walking around it's hot as balls inside the costume.
Speaker 1: You get you get these little spoiled brats whose parents
Speaker 1: only are having a birthday party there because they don't
Speaker 1: want to have to clean up the mess and chuck
Speaker 1: e cheese serves beer. So you got Dad's walking around.
Speaker 1: They at one point, Dad's just decide, are we we're
Speaker 1: no longer gonna you know, walk around with the picture
Speaker 1: of beer and poured into a glass. They're just drinking
Speaker 1: straight from the picture at this point. So they're they're
Speaker 1: they're getting annihilated, and you're and I can remember multiple
Speaker 1: times I remember a kid, and you can't talk. So
Speaker 1: the whole time this is happening, you can't talk through
Speaker 1: the mask. You're not allowed to see them, you know,
Speaker 1: show you just gotta be goofy and you gotta do
Speaker 1: all this. I remember this kid, and I didn't see
Speaker 1: him until the last second, but I remember seeing out
Speaker 1: at the corner of my mask, this giant mask. This
Speaker 1: kid runs up and he hits me as hard as
Speaker 1: he can in the balls, I mean direct shot one. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he didn't get one, he got both and and And
Speaker 1: I got to give him credit for the accuracy because
Speaker 1: he was able to do that through the suit, through
Speaker 1: the fake stomach, lining, through all of it. And I
Speaker 1: remember I bent down. I was down, like I had
Speaker 1: literally hand on my knees and my buddies acting like
Speaker 1: he's not talking to me. So he comes over and
Speaker 1: pretends like he's sweeping the floor and he's got like
Speaker 1: the little dust pan out and he's swooping in and
Speaker 1: he's like, hey man, you're all right, And I just
Speaker 1: started cursing as loud as like, and I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: all this Sam effort and him, I'm all, I'm all,
Speaker 1: I'm literally gonna go drag his dad outside and beat
Speaker 1: his and and at the top of my leves and
Speaker 1: I'm literally looking for the kid's dad. I was pissed
Speaker 1: and so and so all this is happening. This kid,
Speaker 1: like you know, he's like run around. He thinks it's funny. Um.
Speaker 1: And then we end up taking a picture. And while
Speaker 1: we're taking the picture together, right as they go right
Speaker 1: on the count of three, one, two, three, and right
Speaker 1: as they go on the count of three, I like
Speaker 1: squeeze the kid's neck real quick. And as they as
Speaker 1: they snapped the picture, the kid goes and he like
Speaker 1: opens his mouth and he's and he's and I go,
Speaker 1: oh know, I'm sorry about like like I'm apologized. I
Speaker 1: didn't okay, So all of this is happening. Heather Locklear
Speaker 1: walks in. All right, so this is the Absolutely it's
Speaker 1: a Saturday. It was pure chaos. So Heather Locklear walks
Speaker 1: in and somewhere on her mantle there's a picture of
Speaker 1: her kid having their birthday party. Um with and I'm
Speaker 1: like a teenager at this time. It's her her kid's
Speaker 1: birthday party and all this stuff. And you see Heather
Speaker 1: Locklear and her family and there's a there's a chucky
Speaker 1: he was like about five eleven, because I think I
Speaker 1: think it was like this time, maybe there's a checking
Speaker 1: who's like five eleven and it's me and Heather Lockler's
Speaker 1: photo dressed up as a giant rat, probably on a
Speaker 1: mantle somewhere in her house. So it was you know,
Speaker 1: but at a certain point, I just couldn't do it anymore.
Speaker 1: And then a bachelorette party came in. Uh and uh,
Speaker 1: you know, cheese, a bachelorette party cheese. So this is, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is I couldn't even blue it. So my boss
Speaker 1: while all this is happening, my boss told me at
Speaker 1: one point, hey, you need to you need to slow
Speaker 1: it down with the dancing. I was like why, I'm
Speaker 1: all like, at least you do let me have some fun.
Speaker 1: I'm getting abused by these kids, like they're assaulting me.
Speaker 1: At least at least let me have some funny because
Speaker 1: none of But the problem is you're doing too many
Speaker 1: hip gyrations. He's all that stuff's going his true story.
Speaker 1: He's all that stuff's going over the screens everywhere. He's
Speaker 1: also you know, we just you know, parents are kind
Speaker 1: of wondering what's going on. With this. Okay, well, you
Speaker 1: know I'm not trying to piss him off, so all right, yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll slow it down. So a couple of
Speaker 1: weeks later, there's a He comes up to me on
Speaker 1: a Friday night and he goes, hey, Chucky. I was like,
Speaker 1: what's up. He goes, all right, I'm gonna need you
Speaker 1: special request. Well, what's that? There's a bachelorrette party out
Speaker 1: there on the side of booth and I'm all and
Speaker 1: others not. He goes, yeah, And I said, what loser
Speaker 1: comes here for a bachelor up? I know, he goes.
Speaker 1: He goes. He goes, I know, but hey, he's all
Speaker 1: there here, He's other four of them. They're over there
Speaker 1: in the corner. I was like, so, what do you
Speaker 1: want me to do? He goes, well, you know, do
Speaker 1: what you do. I'm okay, well, if I do what
Speaker 1: I do, do I have your permission that I can
Speaker 1: really do what I do. He goes, just this once,
Speaker 1: while you promise I'm not going to get in trouble.
Speaker 1: He goes, yeah, just this once. So I get into costume.
Speaker 1: I walk over there. I'm not even kidding you. I
Speaker 1: propped my foot up on the table. All right, and
Speaker 1: start grinding the air as if like like I'm doing
Speaker 1: hip thrust and I and I put this on everything out.
Speaker 1: This is absolutely true grinding twerking back. Before me, it
Speaker 1: was twerking um like you know, uh, like dipping her
Speaker 1: back like like holding her and then like dipping like
Speaker 1: it was like you doing like like a chipping Dale's
Speaker 1: dancer with Chuck. It was it was you know, Magic
Speaker 1: Mike way before Magic in a giant, disgusting costume that's
Speaker 1: never been sanitized or clean or anything like that. So
Speaker 1: the best the best part is so they're like trying
Speaker 1: to give me dollar bills or whatever, and I think
Speaker 1: I gave him to like the cooks or one of
Speaker 1: the dishwasher because they give me a couple of bucks
Speaker 1: and other. Okay, so I leave and when you go
Speaker 1: back and you change, nobody knows it's you. So you
Speaker 1: go back to the game room, you change. I made
Speaker 1: it a point to change, get back into my regular
Speaker 1: you know, chucky out for like I was working, and
Speaker 1: then come by there and bust their table afterwards, just
Speaker 1: so they had no idea that the person that is
Speaker 1: now cleaning up their crumby pizza trays is the same
Speaker 1: guy that just made her basically have an affair on
Speaker 1: her future husband with a giant rat that you pull
Speaker 1: out of a craw machine at some at some crumby
Speaker 1: carnival somewhere. Well, I bet you, Jonas, I bet those
Speaker 1: those uh you know, years ago but probably stay probably
Speaker 1: still tell that story. Do you remember when Chuck e Cheese?
Speaker 1: Uh yeah, yeah, you'll never believe that. And by the way,
Speaker 1: little little they know, they're probably like, whatever happened to
Speaker 1: the guy who played Chucky and you could just go, oh,
Speaker 1: it's easy. He made it to mad Clowns, Mallard Militia.
Speaker 1: He's the guy getting run over by the Corvett by
Speaker 1: the Cadillac that is they still have that, by the way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now I have a somewhere I don't it's in storage,
Speaker 1: but I have a drawing. I I printed the thing
Speaker 1: up like in a poster. And you you will be
Speaker 1: when I when I get that out of storage, You'll
Speaker 1: be hanging in the in the Mallard mansion. But I
Speaker 1: gotta tell you, Jones, when you mentioned the smell of
Speaker 1: the Chucky Cheese outfit. When I was in Milwaukee years ago,
Speaker 1: I was doing some stuff with the Dodgers and we're
Speaker 1: County Stadium. And I walked through the bowels of County Stadium,
Speaker 1: which no longer exists, and we went to one of
Speaker 1: the rooms on the side there and they had the
Speaker 1: racing sausages, the costumes. Right, we're we're out in this
Speaker 1: in this room and the smell, the stench of these things.
Speaker 1: Jonas I was like all excited. I was like, you know,
Speaker 1: I was a naive. I didn't realize that these things
Speaker 1: never get cleaned. And I remember I was walking over.
Speaker 1: I was like, wow, I can kind of you know,
Speaker 1: I can hold the sausages, you know, the outfit. And
Speaker 1: I went over and the stench and it was just horrific,
Speaker 1: and uh, it's it's so gross man like because there's
Speaker 1: no there's nowhere for the sweat to go. Like when
Speaker 1: when they when they design those things, we're not we're
Speaker 1: not talking about like, you know, high profile athletes to
Speaker 1: where you've got like these they're they're not golfers who
Speaker 1: have these sweat resistance hats and shirts and they're just
Speaker 1: trying to make it. They're trying to make something that
Speaker 1: looks like a kill bossa there what you're thinking about,
Speaker 1: you know, like, I mean, what are we talking about here?
Speaker 1: It's like it does it look like does it look
Speaker 1: like a brought worse or not? All right? Cool? Then
Speaker 1: then get in it and let's run like it smells man,
Speaker 1: And it's hard to clean. And back then, like people
Speaker 1: weren't worrying about sanitizing and keeping things cleanly and clean
Speaker 1: and cleanliness wasn't a priority. So yeah, getting in that
Speaker 1: that costume, it's it's awful and you're running in the
Speaker 1: sun in the hot summer months. The humidity in the
Speaker 1: Midwest is just disgusting. It is terrible. And I gotta
Speaker 1: tell you, Josh, you were ahead of your time. You know,
Speaker 1: everyone with COVID you gotta you know, clean everything and
Speaker 1: all you were when I first met you, Jonas, you
Speaker 1: have always been Mr Clean, you really have. I give
Speaker 1: you credit. There's so many pigs that work in radio,
Speaker 1: so many disheveled animals that work in our business. And
Speaker 1: you you're like the anti that guy. You really are.
Speaker 1: I mean you come in there and you and and
Speaker 1: way before it was cool to do what you do.
Speaker 1: You know, you're you're cleaning everything, You're wiping stuff down.
Speaker 1: I give you credit. I don't I don't do that.
Speaker 1: You do you do, it's good job by you. So
Speaker 1: so here's here's the story behind that, um my first
Speaker 1: radio job. I end somebody was somebody showed up to
Speaker 1: work and they were sick, and of course they got
Speaker 1: the entire studio sick, and and I just remember being
Speaker 1: so piste off and thinking, man, you gotta be kidding me,
Speaker 1: like literally you should. And I just remember thinking I'm
Speaker 1: never gonna have that happen again. And so for the
Speaker 1: rest of my time. And everyone when I first started there,
Speaker 1: everyone thought I have O c D. What do you
Speaker 1: Howie Mandel? Because Howie Mandel is just you know, like
Speaker 1: the guy's a giant germ flo I guess so people
Speaker 1: people are making fun of me, and I did for
Speaker 1: a couple of reasons. Number one, I don't want to
Speaker 1: get sick, because if we're sick on the air, like
Speaker 1: we're done, Like we can't just show up and hide
Speaker 1: behind the scenes. It doesn't work that way. So I
Speaker 1: can't get sick. I needed to work, um And also
Speaker 1: because you know, I mean, I've been you know, taking
Speaker 1: care of my mom and taking care of sick people
Speaker 1: for a long long time. I can't get them sick,
Speaker 1: so I would always make sure I got sanitizer, I
Speaker 1: got everything else. And then the more that I thought
Speaker 1: about it, while I was doing in radio, I was like, well,
Speaker 1: I should be doing this everywhere, So I would have
Speaker 1: sanitizer on me in my blood box to where if
Speaker 1: I go pump gas, I would use sanitizer. And it
Speaker 1: would blow my mind to see these slobs that would
Speaker 1: get in their car pump gas and then get back
Speaker 1: in their car and dig into a bag of funyans
Speaker 1: and start eating from the bag, and and and the
Speaker 1: whole time, I'm thinking to myself when they're taking a
Speaker 1: bite out of those funyans, and they're probably, man, I
Speaker 1: earned this, this is my reward. I really hustled today,
Speaker 1: and now I'm gonna go have a couple of drinks.
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking myself, do you know how much ball
Speaker 1: sweat and get rock? Just you you just took in
Speaker 1: because because you couldn't you you couldn't wash your damn hands.
Speaker 1: It's it's just I gotta tell the best investment I
Speaker 1: ever made is the mic condom. I guess we call
Speaker 1: it like the phone because you know a lot of
Speaker 1: us are working from home these day and you're still
Speaker 1: going in and I give your credit for that. Um,
Speaker 1: but when you go to the radio station when everyone's
Speaker 1: using the same microphones and a lot of people don't
Speaker 1: have their own mic cover, and it's you're putting your
Speaker 1: mouth as close as you possibly can to the microphone
Speaker 1: to talk properly, and everyone twenty four hours a day
Speaker 1: is using the same microphones. It's disgusting. And so it's
Speaker 1: one way to come back. Jon's I've kept you for
Speaker 1: way too long, my man. I'm I'm very happy for you.
Speaker 1: I'm glad the company finally made a good move here
Speaker 1: putting you on the morning show and uh continued successful. Man. Well,
Speaker 1: now listen, and I mean this and all society and
Speaker 1: I've told anybody that would listen, and you are one
Speaker 1: of the one of the all time grades. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that the ball wash you as somebody. You and
Speaker 1: I have a certain affinity for radio that I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people in our business maybe don't because
Speaker 1: they were either doing TV or you know, they played
Speaker 1: a sport or whatever. And you and I grew up
Speaker 1: loving radio and having a true passion for it, and
Speaker 1: so I have listened to you for a long time
Speaker 1: and so to be able to get to meet guys
Speaker 1: like you and Tony Bruno and and Mike North and
Speaker 1: Andy Firman and Artie Spaniard and Steve Hartman and some
Speaker 1: of these legends, and then to be able to get
Speaker 1: to go call you guys friends. Um, it's it's been
Speaker 1: pretty awesome, man, And to get to learn from you,
Speaker 1: and you know, you're one of the best to do it.
Speaker 1: And I think, uh, you know you you you've set
Speaker 1: a mark and sort of set a standard there that
Speaker 1: a lot of people it's really really hard to follow.
Speaker 1: But man, it's awesome to to to get to know you.
Speaker 1: And you're at my wedding whatever the hell you want
Speaker 1: to call that and my listen, great food at the wedding, Joes,
Speaker 1: You're very kind. I and everyone I've talked to when
Speaker 1: the news came down. You know, the radio community is
Speaker 1: a very tight community and people are like, good a
Speaker 1: radio guy. I mean, that's what you're radio guy Jones.
Speaker 1: This is rare that you know, these these things, as
Speaker 1: you said, you know, normally these these jobs go to
Speaker 1: big TV people, movie stars, things like that. So I'm
Speaker 1: glad it's another radio guy and it and it was
Speaker 1: cool to uh, you know, just like I said, to
Speaker 1: be able to study and kind of learn under you
Speaker 1: and everybody else there, and um, just it's it's been
Speaker 1: awesome and a lot of people have reached out and
Speaker 1: been very very kind. And uh, I know the Ballad militia,
Speaker 1: you know, they're they're not. They don't like it. They
Speaker 1: basically scared Artie span Your away. Artie Spanier filled in
Speaker 1: for you one time. Artie Spanner is a living legend
Speaker 1: and radio. The guys worked at every network. He's been
Speaker 1: doing it for years and years and and they scared
Speaker 1: him away. But I refused to let them scare me away.
Speaker 1: I got three Benny Awards, yes, and one of them
Speaker 1: that I one of them that I can't claim because
Speaker 1: it may or may not have been me doing somebody's
Speaker 1: doubtful gang around the air. But I'm not gonna I'm
Speaker 1: going tonight. I've got I've got I've got four Benny Awards.
Speaker 1: One of them's got an ast and I can never
Speaker 1: tell about. But no, man, you love you. I appreciate
Speaker 1: you having me and it's a it's an honor to
Speaker 1: be on with you. Awesome thanks jowing us