1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Buckle up and old one. We got it for you. Here. 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:08,600 Speaker 1: It is just your very No Billy D Williams was here. Yeah, 3 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: not hey. Let me be Billy D when I want 4 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:17,639 Speaker 1: to be Billy Date. Let you be great. All right, 5 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:24,439 Speaker 1: there we go. Thank you. H Steve Tommy reminded me 6 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:36,440 Speaker 1: of Woodrow. You have free subject. I can't stand a 7 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: sorry man. Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a thirty six year 8 00:00:41,159 --> 00:00:44,239 Speaker 1: old single mother of four who met a very handsome 9 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:48,240 Speaker 1: army vet at work back in two thousand sixteen. After 10 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:51,160 Speaker 1: dating for six months, he told me that he had 11 00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: to move out of his rental home because the owners 12 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 1: had sold it, and he asked me if he could 13 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:59,520 Speaker 1: stay with me for a while. Against my better judgment, 14 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:03,480 Speaker 1: I agreed to let him move in temporarily. A month later, 15 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:06,840 Speaker 1: he was laid off from his job. Two months after that, 16 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: his car got repossessed, so he was unemployed and did 17 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,840 Speaker 1: not have transportation to go job hunting or to go 18 00:01:13,959 --> 00:01:17,000 Speaker 1: on job interviews. While he was out of work and 19 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: was not bringing money into the household, he cooked and 20 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,800 Speaker 1: cleaned and did all of the yard work. But I 21 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:26,720 Speaker 1: had to constantly prompt him to do these things. I 22 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: got fed up with coming home and seeing him on 23 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,000 Speaker 1: the couch playing videos, so I gave him him an 24 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 1: ultimatum to find a job or leave. He has a 25 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,040 Speaker 1: job now, but he only makes enough money to take 26 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,720 Speaker 1: care of himself and there's nothing left for bills or groceries. 27 00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: This has put a major strain on our relationship and 28 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: intimacy because his lack of ambition is such a turn off. 29 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: I need for him to get out so I can 30 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:53,160 Speaker 1: move on with my life. When I talked to him 31 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 1: about moving, he said he has no plans to leave 32 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: anytime soon because he needs to save up some money first. 33 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: I reready have four children and I don't need a 34 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:05,640 Speaker 1: fifth child. Stephen Shirley, please help me figure out how 35 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: to get this grown man out of my house. Well, 36 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,960 Speaker 1: you're absolutely right in saying this. Uh, this grown man 37 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 1: has got to get out of your home. He really does. Sometimes. 38 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,120 Speaker 1: You know, we as ladies were just a bit too nice, 39 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:23,080 Speaker 1: aren't we? And we don't listen to ourselves to our 40 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:27,400 Speaker 1: into it our intuition, do we. You sat against your 41 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: better judgment, That was you telling yourself you shouldn't do this, 42 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: So you already knew when you allowed him to come 43 00:02:34,919 --> 00:02:37,960 Speaker 1: into your home and I don't care. No one is 44 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: that handsome, no one? All right? Uh, he's taking advantage 45 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,519 Speaker 1: of you, he's taking advantage of your four kids. And 46 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: now you know you cannot allow him to do this 47 00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 1: any longer. You gotta let him know today, today, without 48 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:56,160 Speaker 1: any hesitation, without any second thoughts, that he has to go. 49 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:59,480 Speaker 1: If you're nervous, if you're little, you know, apprehensive about 50 00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,760 Speaker 1: doing it, please have someone with you, preferably a male 51 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,040 Speaker 1: or two or three. Uh. You gotta have someone with 52 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:08,600 Speaker 1: you when you tell him. You also have to change 53 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,240 Speaker 1: the locks on the doors. All of that uh pack 54 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,240 Speaker 1: is clothes. Whatever you have to do, but this man 55 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:16,799 Speaker 1: has to go. Okay. Uh, you've gone over and beyond 56 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: the call of duty with this vet and there's no 57 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:22,639 Speaker 1: need for you to do anything else except for show 58 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:26,880 Speaker 1: him the door the way out. Steve Well, this letter 59 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: don't make no sense from the beginning. You're thirty six 60 00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:32,119 Speaker 1: year old single mother four. You met a handsome army 61 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: vet at work in two thousand sixteen. After dating six months, 62 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,920 Speaker 1: he said he got to move out of his runtal 63 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 1: home because they sold it. Then he asked you could 64 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: he called stay for a while see me right here, 65 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 1: I already started counting people in rooms already. See y'all, 66 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,480 Speaker 1: you got four kids that you love and take care 67 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: of your thirty six. I don't know what you stay 68 00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,280 Speaker 1: in with all in rooms, but I would have just 69 00:04:01,400 --> 00:04:05,120 Speaker 1: started counting rooms and people. A month later, he got 70 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:09,960 Speaker 1: laid off from his job. After he moved in, they 71 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: got his car repossessed. Let's see, if you got put 72 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:18,240 Speaker 1: out your rental house, your next move should be to 73 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: go get another rental house, not to come and leach 74 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,200 Speaker 1: off this woman, single mother trying to make ends meet. 75 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,360 Speaker 1: I mean, just right there. Why would you burden her 76 00:04:29,839 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: with that? Now? She didn't know how burdensome you was 77 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,680 Speaker 1: gonna become, and then you went on and proved it. 78 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 1: A month later you got laid off from your job. 79 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: Two months after that, the car got representsed. Okay, sold 80 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,039 Speaker 1: three months he made a car payment. They're making some 81 00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: serious phone calls at three months he let him, He 82 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,920 Speaker 1: let him pick up the car. So how but how 83 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:01,160 Speaker 1: they repossess his car? Yeah, he ain't it work, so 84 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,279 Speaker 1: they know where it worked. He ain't it work and 85 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,400 Speaker 1: he ain't at his house because they took the house. 86 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 1: How they know the car was over there at your 87 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,120 Speaker 1: I'm just trying to do I'm telling you that REAPO 88 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:19,040 Speaker 1: people ain't there. Good yeah, man, how did they what? 89 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:25,360 Speaker 1: But in the third month, though, stupid. Then he was 90 00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 1: out of work. He wasn't bringing in no money into 91 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,039 Speaker 1: the house. He tried to cook and clean and did 92 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,840 Speaker 1: the yard work, but you had to constantly prompt him 93 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:36,440 Speaker 1: to do things. Then you're coming home. He on the 94 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:41,680 Speaker 1: couch playing video games. He wanted the kids for real. Now, 95 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:48,080 Speaker 1: so you're told him to find the job or leave. Well, 96 00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: now he got a job now, but he only makes 97 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,479 Speaker 1: enough money to take care of himself, and that's nothing 98 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:59,400 Speaker 1: left for Bill the groceries. I don't understand this. What 99 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,320 Speaker 1: is he doing with the money if he ain't helping 100 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:06,680 Speaker 1: you with it? He has no call car note gun, 101 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:12,280 Speaker 1: he ain't got no rent. The rent gune but not 102 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 1: he and he still ain't pitching in. Sorry now he 103 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:22,760 Speaker 1: ain't sorry, man, This dude right here, he's he's a 104 00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: little worse than sorry. But you you can't help this 105 00:06:26,440 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: woman at all with these folk kids. Whatever money you're 106 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,599 Speaker 1: making on to go into the pile to help out, 107 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:36,400 Speaker 1: you've been living on it for months now. He has 108 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 1: put a major strain on our relationship and intimate. I 109 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: won't sleep with nobody broke. It's up in here. Yeah, 110 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,560 Speaker 1: I'll slept with a broke land before. It's gotta be 111 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 1: hard here and here. Won't all this from you? What 112 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,000 Speaker 1: come on now, let me have it. Come on, do 113 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 1: it to me, Come on home and put your leg 114 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:58,279 Speaker 1: over here. Hey, you ain't working, not putting my leg nowhere? 115 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 1: This all I doing. We don't touch me. Nope, that's 116 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:07,120 Speaker 1: it all right, Steve, hold that thought. Okay, Part two 117 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,680 Speaker 1: of your response to the subject. I can't stand a 118 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: sorry man. Sorry man. Met him here in the military, 119 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 1: moved him and he fell out, lost his house. She 120 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 1: moved in with her. He losed his job and took 121 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 1: his car. He ain't paying rent. He paying at the 122 00:07:22,120 --> 00:07:25,000 Speaker 1: laying at the house watching videos. You're coming home. You're 123 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:29,920 Speaker 1: getting frustrated. And now you say that him not working 124 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,240 Speaker 1: and chipping in and he got a job, but his job. 125 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: Don't let him chip in because he needs all the 126 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:44,640 Speaker 1: money for herself. It has affected yo intimacy. Sleeping with 127 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:52,120 Speaker 1: a broke man. God, that's got to be home. It 128 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:57,920 Speaker 1: has you was broken from her, slept with you though, 129 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:03,760 Speaker 1: and it had to be what did you sleep with 130 00:08:03,880 --> 00:08:08,560 Speaker 1: me for? You see, I'm homeless. All my stuff in 131 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:12,720 Speaker 1: my car. We can't go nowhere without moving stuff. I 132 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: had stuff in the passenger seats. Yeah, you still need 133 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: to love. No love, you get, get a lot of 134 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:24,640 Speaker 1: somebody and give you something back, looking too po. People 135 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:30,440 Speaker 1: do each other? Yeah they did all time. Yeah they 136 00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: do it too much too. They really need to be 137 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:36,880 Speaker 1: somewhere sitting down. Then they messed around health baby and 138 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: everybody up been here po. Now now the baby don't 139 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,920 Speaker 1: even know what reality is no more. He just struggling 140 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:45,200 Speaker 1: because y'all have made the ignorant asked to sit poe 141 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,079 Speaker 1: ass little baby sitting up in here talking about why 142 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: we ain't got no TV. That's what the baby said. 143 00:08:51,160 --> 00:09:00,960 Speaker 1: Where are you going with all these candles for here? Man? Damn? 144 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:06,679 Speaker 1: Mama was handing. Why do we need corn flats with 145 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:12,000 Speaker 1: this tap water on it? Mama for dinner? Mama? Did 146 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 1: we had corn bread yesterday? Pop? Why I got to 147 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:20,360 Speaker 1: get hit every time I asked about this corn back? Pop? Okay, damn, 148 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:26,319 Speaker 1: I ain't say nothing about this damn corn back. Man. 149 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: I'm in the letter. This is the letter damn kids 150 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:34,560 Speaker 1: is complaining four kids she has? Mama, I can't play 151 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: the video game because here now my maca Jerome told 152 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:43,040 Speaker 1: me I can't sit on couch why TV because he 153 00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: playing Madden? Is he really a vet, Steve? I wanted 154 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 1: to ask you that. Yeah, yeah, here vet. But he 155 00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 1: giving him a bad name. That's just like cops is 156 00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,880 Speaker 1: cool to till they started getting bad name for some 157 00:09:55,960 --> 00:10:00,120 Speaker 1: bad cops. So anyway, I already have four children. I 158 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,880 Speaker 1: don't need to feel Stephen Shirley, please help me figure 159 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 1: out how to get this grown man out of my house. 160 00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:10,840 Speaker 1: I have a solution, Let's hear it. You feel unsafe, 161 00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:18,560 Speaker 1: you don't feel secure with him around. All you got 162 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:23,320 Speaker 1: to do is say that to anybody at the court 163 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,880 Speaker 1: and you will have a restraint in order he can't 164 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:33,360 Speaker 1: come within a hundred yards at that house. Yeah, and 165 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,280 Speaker 1: all you want is a restraint in order he got 166 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: to go. You know you've asked him to leave, he 167 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: says he had to. This would kill me about sorry 168 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: as people, you asked him to leave, he said, here 169 00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: has no plans to leave anytime soon because he needs 170 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 1: to save up money. Some money first, don't I don't 171 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,200 Speaker 1: give damn what you save and they go save it 172 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,720 Speaker 1: at your mama house. You got partners gonna save it 173 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,520 Speaker 1: and wanted the army events. How go back to the 174 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 1: army and they ain't got bags for him or nothing. 175 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 1: I don't know how I work, but seemed like they 176 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 1: want to let you stay in the bad. Resign up, 177 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,319 Speaker 1: do basic training again. That'll again six weeks, Get on 178 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:21,960 Speaker 1: back down in the pass Island folk brag, get yourself 179 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 1: signed up. That's it, lady. You need to restrain in order. 180 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:30,640 Speaker 1: He's worthless, and get the restraint in order because you 181 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:33,400 Speaker 1: don't feel safe. That's all you have to say. You 182 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 1: don't need a court date. You just need a restraining 183 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:39,480 Speaker 1: on that puts his ass out. You ain't sleeping with him, 184 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:43,959 Speaker 1: no way. You know. He asked y'all having sex? He 185 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:56,839 Speaker 1: teld about who's it? It's the banks as Yeah, it's 186 00:11:56,840 --> 00:12:00,199 Speaker 1: a lot going on. So that's what I for her do. 187 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:04,520 Speaker 1: Its trifling, Yeah I do. She's just thirty six, she's 188 00:12:04,559 --> 00:12:07,160 Speaker 1: got four kids and this man, and you know she 189 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:13,080 Speaker 1: met this dude here Army vet. You thinking, wow, discipline exactly. 190 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:16,679 Speaker 1: That's why I asked you that exact discipline people, soldiers, 191 00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: military people are disciplined, people of honor, was respectable, you know. 192 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:24,520 Speaker 1: You know, man, they know how to complete the task, 193 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: their teamwork. That's what I've always thought of when I 194 00:12:29,360 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 1: think of military people, how they function and react in life. 195 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: I know a lot of military people who are really 196 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:41,960 Speaker 1: really good folks. Man up early, I'm talking about man, Yeah, 197 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:47,520 Speaker 1: all of that. Can he go in there upraising his 198 00:12:47,600 --> 00:13:00,760 Speaker 1: voice on bet not kids? Who you hilding? Show working? 199 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 1: You're both just couching moving you move it. This is crazy, 200 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:12,600 Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, she's got to take care of her kids. 201 00:13:12,679 --> 00:13:16,360 Speaker 1: Four kids. She's thirty six. She's just thirty six years old. 202 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 1: He's not Sureley, you said Tommy was hands You ain't 203 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 1: seen me on my show, bo I'm sexy. You ain't seening. Man, 204 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:33,960 Speaker 1: surely we're glass all right. Listen when they describe YA 205 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: said that ain't tom We gotta go. Guys. You can 206 00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,080 Speaker 1: email us or instagram us your thoughts on Today's Strawberry 207 00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:44,440 Speaker 1: Letter at Steve Harvey FM. You're listening to the Steve 208 00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.