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Speaker 1: This is John, this is them Okay Storytime podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some.

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Speaker 3: Good story is coming up for you. That's right.

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Speaker 1: But before that, we have a little more sol of

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Speaker 1: a two minute ad break from the sponsors keeping the

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Speaker 1: show delicious. My parents disapprove of my relationship. They'd rather

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Speaker 1: I marry a stranger.

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Speaker 4: I mean, what's just a random guy among family.

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Speaker 1: By the way, quick trigger warning, there is physical violence.

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Speaker 1: If you want to skip to the next story, go

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Speaker 1: ahead and do so. My boyfriend White twenty one male

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Speaker 1: and I Indian twenty have been dating for two years now.

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Speaker 1: We met in college and for the past two years

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Speaker 1: I hid this relationship from my parents as they are

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Speaker 1: super conservative and I guess I was scared to tell them.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Mucho Stress twenty fourteen,

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Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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Speaker 1: to the r slash Okay Storytime ce abreud it A

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Speaker 1: little background on my family.

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Speaker 3: We've been living in the States for almost fifteen years.

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Speaker 1: My mother does not speak English, and it seems whenever

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Speaker 1: I do anything against my parents' wishes, they start shouting

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Speaker 1: that I've become too American and almost always use emotional

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Speaker 1: blacketmail on me in those instances.

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Speaker 3: Anyways, the other day.

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Speaker 1: Boyfriend and I went to a restaurant for a date,

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Speaker 1: and I decided to stop by my parents' house to

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Speaker 1: drop off some food for them. I figured I could

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Speaker 1: just show them me hanging out with a guy to

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Speaker 1: prepare them later for finding out that I was dating him.

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Speaker 1: Boyfriend and I drop off the food, and I simply said,

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Speaker 1: this is who we're gonna call him, Dakota. Oh no,

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Speaker 1: we'll call him Bob nice. This is Bob, pointing to boyfriend, uh,

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Speaker 1: not specifying what our relationship was. My parents' faces showed

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Speaker 1: a mixture of shock, surprise, a little anger, but I

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Speaker 1: was not completely sure. After the very quick intro, boyfriend

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Speaker 1: and I headed back to college. The next day, I

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Speaker 1: hung out with my mother and she told me the

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Speaker 1: guy last night had an innocent face and that she

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Speaker 1: liked that.

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Speaker 3: I realized this was good.

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Speaker 1: This is a good segue, and I said, yeah, Also,

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Speaker 1: he and I have been on like one or two

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Speaker 1: dates and we're sort of dating.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, real smooth segue.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Oh yeah, his innocent face, I've been kissing it.

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Speaker 4: Oh God, not so innocent anymore, now, huh. She took

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Speaker 4: the news a lot better than I thought she would,

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Speaker 4: saying that it was okay on her side, but I

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Speaker 4: needed to talk to my dad.

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Speaker 3: Oh oh boy.

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Speaker 1: Well, after a couple of days, since I kept not

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Speaker 1: being able to muster up the courage to tell him,

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Speaker 1: I spoke to my father. I told him that I

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Speaker 1: and the guy he had met last week had been

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Speaker 1: on one to two dates and we were currently dating,

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Speaker 1: and since it was an important event in my life,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to tell them my parents about it. I

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Speaker 1: also asked if it was okay to have him over

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Speaker 1: at her house for the summer so I could hang

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Speaker 1: out with him. My dad immediately grew very serious and

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Speaker 1: replied no. He went on to say, why do you

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Speaker 1: need a date? If you want a boy, meaning for marriage,

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Speaker 1: I will find you one. I, of course replied, I'm

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Speaker 1: not talking about marriage. I haven't even started medical school yet.

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Speaker 1: After that, here is the gist of what he said.

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Speaker 3: You need end this.

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Speaker 1: You're our only hope here, Oh no, And I can't

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Speaker 1: imagine an American in the family. You are a role

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Speaker 1: model for your sister. Keep that in mind. I didn't

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Speaker 1: reply anything, and soon we reached where he was dropping

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Speaker 1: me off, so I got out of the car. So

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Speaker 1: that was yesterday morning, and since then he has not

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Speaker 1: talked to me. Last night, when he came home, my

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Speaker 1: mother asked everyone to come to dinner, and he kept

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Speaker 1: saying that he wasn't hungry, Slash didn't have an appetite.

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Speaker 1: After a lot of persuading by my mother, he finally

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Speaker 1: agreed to eat in the living room. That was twenty

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Speaker 1: four hours ago.

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Speaker 3: Today.

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Speaker 1: In the evening, I took a little nap and woke

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Speaker 1: up to my parents discussing me upstairs. My father was

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Speaker 1: saying she has become modern, wanting to date. My brother

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Speaker 1: also did his medicine in the United States and he

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Speaker 1: didn't even think about dating anyone in this time. She

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Speaker 1: has no shame. Then I also heard my mother crying

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Speaker 1: and saying, who do we have to live for? We

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Speaker 1: could find her a medical boy, and my dad replies,

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Speaker 1: she herself hasn't done medicine yet. After hearing that, I

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Speaker 1: didn't want to hear anymore and went into the bathroom.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. I'm very nervous and

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Speaker 1: extremely stressed all the time, and I don't feel like

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Speaker 1: eating anything. I am trying to feel happy, but then

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Speaker 1: I hear stuff like this. My parents have never been

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Speaker 1: the encouraging kind. The other night, we were going out

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Speaker 1: to dinner and I wore a dress and a blazer

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Speaker 1: and he said, you look like I don't know if

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Speaker 1: that's the word is bad or not, but I'll say

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Speaker 1: the English version, you look like a blank, meaning like

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Speaker 1: a villager or uncivilized. That made me cry. Dude, very

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Speaker 1: insanely mean things to say your daughter. And when he

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Speaker 1: saw me crying, he was like, stop it. I replied,

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Speaker 1: other dads tell their daughter how beautiful they are.

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Speaker 3: Stop it. You're making it worse. It's like this guy's brutal. Yes,

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Speaker 3: who is this guy? Brutal? God?

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Speaker 1: I replied, to other dads tell their daughters how beautiful

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Speaker 1: they look on their graduation, and then there's you.

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Speaker 3: He didn't reply anything to that. Anyways. That was a

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Speaker 3: side story. But the point is my dad can be

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Speaker 3: quite an a.

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Speaker 1: Hole sometimes, and I don't know how this whole situation

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Speaker 1: is going to sort out. I obviously do not want

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Speaker 1: to stop dating my boyfriend and would like my family

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Speaker 1: to accept what's going on. I think, deep down I

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Speaker 1: also fear getting sent back to India or something. I

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Speaker 1: wish my parents could see that dating my boyfriend makes

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Speaker 1: me happy. I'm scared to talk to them, especially my dad.

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Speaker 1: Any advice would be appreciated.

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Speaker 3: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Please note that moving out is completely out of the question,

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Speaker 1: as I am planning to go to a professional school

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Speaker 1: and my father will be helping me pay for it,

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Speaker 1: and we've got some comments coming up. But yeah, I mean, look,

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Speaker 1: just to get right down to the root of it.

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Speaker 1: At the end of the day, daughter is gonna live

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Speaker 1: daughter's life, and you can't control you know, what someone

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Speaker 1: is going to do.

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Speaker 3: I know there's cultural factors here at play.

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Speaker 1: And I'm not, you know, here to say I understand

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Speaker 1: completely the ins and outs of all his dynamics, but

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Speaker 1: at the end end of the day, you just can't

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Speaker 1: control someone.

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Speaker 4: I mean, it's it's definitely silly to like, maybe you

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Speaker 4: can control someone, very silly to expect them to like

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Speaker 4: be like, thank you, by the way, I'm really glad that.

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Speaker 3: You did that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah to me, by that, thank you for controlling me

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Speaker 1: and limiting me of all my options.

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Speaker 4: So glad I'm not allowed to decide anything for myself.

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Speaker 4: That was really great that you did that.

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Speaker 1: That's not gonna be you have to understand that that

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Speaker 1: it is not going to be the response. Yes, you

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Speaker 1: gotta be ready for you know, so if you try.

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Speaker 4: To control someone, just get ready for them to like

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Speaker 4: want nothing to do with you as soon as they

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Speaker 4: get control of their own stuff.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but we have some relevant comments. Comment one.

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Speaker 1: I think you need to shut this discussion down. I'm

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Speaker 1: Indian and the thing is not me this commentary. I'm

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Speaker 1: Indian and the thing is you keep asking your parents

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Speaker 1: for permission and approval. Surely you know they'll say no

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Speaker 1: if they can. The way you started off was perfect. Hey, mom,

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Speaker 1: this is X. We are dating. No room for discussion,

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Speaker 1: no justifying pleading, no emotional engaging. Then you messed it

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Speaker 1: up a bit with asking your dad for permission. In

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Speaker 1: my opinion, you need to do this in a super unemotional,

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Speaker 1: cheerful way. I'm dating X, I will keep dating X.

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Speaker 1: I have no plans to marry anytime soon. That's what's happening.

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Speaker 1: Do not get sucked into an argument about it if

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Speaker 1: they try, say this is enough for discussion and smile cheerfully.

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Speaker 1: It's time to start being emotionally independent, though I know

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Speaker 1: it's much easier said than done. Also, you're gonna move

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Speaker 1: out from med school fairly soon, right, so that solves

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Speaker 1: that problem. Also also if it helps in literally every

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Speaker 1: single case of a whole Indian parents, I know, the

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Speaker 1: parents come around eventually. Sometimes it's not until you pop

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Speaker 1: out a kid and they want to spend time with

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Speaker 1: a grand kid, which admittedly is a long way off,

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Speaker 1: but they always always.

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Speaker 3: Come around eventually.

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Speaker 1: Well, we've seen it like a million times all all cultures.

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Speaker 1: This as soon as you pop out the grand baby

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Speaker 1: grand baby fevers kicks in and out like oh grand dady, give.

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Speaker 3: Me the grand babies.

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Speaker 1: Like no, now you need to behave like actual good humor.

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Speaker 3: I understand what Commedy's saying.

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Speaker 1: I think, like, you know, Opie's young and this is

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Speaker 1: probably really hard.

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Speaker 3: So like I get, you know, a yes.

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Speaker 1: Opie didn't perfectly execute this you know whatever, but I

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Speaker 1: do I totally agree with with what they're saying of like, hey,

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Speaker 1: just say, this is my boyfriend. This is what I'm doing,

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Speaker 1: Like no, no explanation necessary, like I'm making this choice and.

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Speaker 3: Here's what it is.

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Speaker 4: It's it's I mean a lot of the advice that

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Speaker 4: we give for a lot of stories, it's like it

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Speaker 4: kind of comes down to that. It's like it's pretty

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Speaker 4: simple where it'll be like yes that, like yeah, you

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Speaker 4: should just be firm with your boundaries and say this

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Speaker 4: is what's happening. I'm gonna keep doing it and if

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Speaker 4: they get mad, don't engage and like pull back.

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Speaker 3: But it's like if.

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Speaker 4: Someone's in an environment or like a dynamic where it's

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Speaker 4: like that's not a known thing. You're basically just being like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: read this Greek play in Greek, please, yes, and they'd

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Speaker 4: be like, well I can't, and then be like no, no, no,

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Speaker 4: you just read it, Like I feel like that might

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Speaker 4: be the situation kind of like it it's just so domineering.

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Speaker 4: It's like you don't know how to approach them on

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Speaker 4: an even level whatsoever.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And like in fairness to the parents, it's like, okay,

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Speaker 1: if you are literally you know, uh, if you have

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Speaker 1: something ingrained in you and it's like literally the the

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Speaker 1: thought whisper imagination of something is never even brought up

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Speaker 1: as an idea, then yeah, it's like I could understand

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Speaker 1: where it's like it's like hard coded into your software. Also,

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Speaker 1: if they keep being a pain in the butt, it

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Speaker 1: might be time to pull out the big peepews. I've

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Speaker 1: seen I've seen your arranged marriage and seeing the way

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Speaker 1: you two interact, I know that's not what I want

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Speaker 1: from my marriage at all. I'm going to date and

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Speaker 1: I'm going to figure out what i want before I

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Speaker 1: get married, and that's not negotiable. We didn't get the

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Speaker 1: full I don't think we got enough of a full

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Speaker 1: clear picture on their marriage.

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Speaker 3: So I maybe that's too much. It's a little inferment.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think again, like just go back to

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Speaker 1: the earlier point of like, this is what I'm doing.

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Speaker 1: That's This morning, my maternal grandparents from India called and

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Speaker 1: my grandmother and my grandmother spoke to me saying that

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Speaker 1: my dad had called her saying that she and my.

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Speaker 3: Grandpa needed to come to the States right now. Oh

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Speaker 3: my god, Oh snap.

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Speaker 1: They're doing an intervention dude, and asked when he should

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Speaker 1: book their tickets.

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Speaker 3: Of course, this is because.

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Speaker 1: Of what I told him that I've quote unquote started

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Speaker 1: dating this white guy.

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Speaker 3: My grandma asked me why he was so worried.

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Speaker 1: Then she proceeded to say how I should be happy

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Speaker 1: because she could tell by my voice that I wasn't,

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Speaker 1: and how I should make my family happy, and that

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Speaker 1: I need to focus on my education. Then she also

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Speaker 1: said something that made me very scared. That my dad

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Speaker 1: had talked about how he wants to sell our house

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Speaker 1: and move back to India. Meanwhile, my mother keeps crying

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Speaker 1: and saying, why are we even living here? Do you

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Speaker 1: think we'd pick a wrong guy for you? Yeah, you

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Speaker 1: might be dating now, but what if down the road

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Speaker 1: you want to marry a white guy. I kept saying

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Speaker 1: that I had introduced my boyfriend to them because it

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Speaker 1: was what was making me happy. But of course my

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Speaker 1: mother kept claiming, this is not our culture. I don't care.

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Speaker 1: I don't care that we've lived here for so long.

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Speaker 1: You need to look at your Indian heritage.

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Speaker 3: All of your relatives.

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Speaker 1: And family would laugh at us and at you. No

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Speaker 1: one in this family is making this easy right now.

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Speaker 1: So my grandmother asked me what she should tell my dad.

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Speaker 1: So I told her that I want to discuss things

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Speaker 1: with him myself, and that I would later tonight. I

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Speaker 1: am freaking out. I do not doubt that my dad

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Speaker 1: would sell our house and move all of us to India.

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Speaker 3: I will be talking to him later tonight.

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Speaker 1: Would you mean move all of us to India, I

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Speaker 1: guess because she like remember earlier she was like, oh,

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Speaker 1: moving out right now is an option because I'm still

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Speaker 1: like finishing school. I guess it's like, hey, I'm like

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Speaker 1: full time students. I'm kind of like relying on them

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Speaker 1: for housing and everything.

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Speaker 3: Oh sorry, I'm getting call it hello.

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Speaker 4: Oh wait, oh it is still an option, though, you

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Speaker 4: can just change your plans, dude, Yes, it is right.

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Speaker 3: It is an option.

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Speaker 4: It is an option, but like it's yeah, you know,

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Speaker 4: in my head, it's because I again, like the parents

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Speaker 4: are clearly very involved and very in control of like

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Speaker 4: what's going on. So she's just feeling like, I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 4: if they sell the house and move back to India,

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Speaker 4: I guess I have to go with them, But you don't.

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Speaker 1: I think I think venturing out on her own to

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Speaker 1: just like live independently and just like explore whatever, you know,

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Speaker 1: literally just whatever she ends up wanting to have in

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Speaker 1: her life like that, I think is it's clearly doesn't

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Speaker 1: exactly align with her with her family, so it's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: go for that, go for that, and yeah, it is

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Speaker 1: it is an option. Obviously not not easier said than done,

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Speaker 1: but that option is there. Oh yeah, dude, so Opie says,

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Speaker 1: I have Indian neighbors who have a son who's dating

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Speaker 1: a white girl, and I'm considering calling them in private

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Speaker 1: and telling them about this and asking them to stop

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Speaker 1: by her house tonight when I bring this up with

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Speaker 1: my dad. Maybe they will be able to help explain

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Speaker 1: that dating is not a bad thing and show my

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Speaker 1: dad that's selling the house and moving back to India

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Speaker 1: is not the answer.

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Speaker 3: I am really scared that we have a second update. Okay,

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Speaker 3: here's what happens. They have a.

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Speaker 4: Very very very fruitful discussion after op corroborates the technique

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Speaker 4: with the neighbor.

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Speaker 3: Yep, and they all live somewhat happily ever after. I'm

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Speaker 3: in with that. I'm gonna go with that. Why I'm

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Speaker 3: gonna go with that?

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Speaker 1: Last night I talked to my parents faiful discussion. I

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Speaker 1: started off the discussion saying that my dad and I

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Speaker 1: were mature adults and thus we should deal with the

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Speaker 1: situation like adults, sit down and talk it out. I

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Speaker 1: then said, listen, I understand that as a parent where

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Speaker 1: you are coming from, you want the best for me,

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Speaker 1: but the ideas on life and your thoughts are very

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Speaker 1: different from mine. At this, he interrupts me and said,

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Speaker 1: you listen to me. I have sacrificed so much for

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Speaker 1: this family. They married me off at twenty one, saying

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Speaker 1: they needed the money the dowry, and I didn't resist.

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Speaker 1: Why because I respected my parents and I knew that

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Speaker 1: they knew the best, and I knew that they knew

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Speaker 1: the best for me.

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Speaker 3: After you go to med.

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Speaker 1: School and get done, you will have many opportunities to

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Speaker 1: find someone. I will not stop you. The only thing

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Speaker 1: I will not stand for is he has to be

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Speaker 1: an American. There are millions of people in the world.

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Speaker 1: Why an American? Ever since you told me about this

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Speaker 1: dating thing, I kept waking up with nightmares at four

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Speaker 1: am in the morning, knowing it's an American. You will

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Speaker 1: never marry an American. I will be passed away to

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Speaker 1: you on that day.

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Speaker 4: Why live in a place where you hate the people

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Speaker 4: so much?

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Speaker 3: Dude? Call back to what he said, like, I did this.

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Speaker 3: I did this, so you have to.

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Speaker 4: Write I did this because I knew my parents knew

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Speaker 4: the best for me, and I clearly don't have any

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Speaker 4: hard feelings about it whatsoever.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, which is why.

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Speaker 4: I'm making you do it.

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Speaker 1: Like guy had to do anyways, I won't bory with

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Speaker 1: the details, but I was very calm, surprisingly and didn't

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Speaker 1: cry and tried to be rational, asking why he can't

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Speaker 1: be American whenever I do decide to marry He would reply,

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Speaker 1: is he just can't.

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Speaker 3: After a lot of blah blah blah blah blah, he was.

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Speaker 1: Like, you've become totally American, an individualistic.

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Speaker 3: You don't care about your family anymore.

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Speaker 1: I've talked to some of my friends about selling the

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Speaker 1: house in a year after your sister completes high school,

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Speaker 1: and we will go back to India.

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Speaker 3: At this, I.

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Speaker 1: Said, well, what about me? I want to stay here

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Speaker 1: and get a really good medical education. When he heard this,

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Speaker 1: he flipped out and turned to my mom and said,

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Speaker 1: do you see how shameless she is? She doesn't care

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Speaker 1: that we would go back to India. She just cares

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Speaker 1: about paying for her medical education. Fine, we'll sell the

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Speaker 1: house and give you the money and you can do

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Speaker 1: whatever the heck you want.

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Speaker 4: I'm sorry her just being like, hey, so, like, could

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Speaker 4: I maybe stay and go to medical school if you

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Speaker 4: guys do that. He's like, fine, take all the money

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Speaker 4: we make from the house and do whatever you want

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Speaker 4: with the rest of your life.

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Speaker 1: It's like cool, Oh nice, let's do it now. Of course,

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Speaker 1: Opie says. I was like, that is not what I said.

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Speaker 1: I meant you don't want to see me become a

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Speaker 1: great doctor here? That is my dream and I don't

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Speaker 1: care about the money. I will take out loans and stuff.

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Speaker 1: I would like you guys to be here when I

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Speaker 1: do become a doctor.

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Speaker 3: Why do I have to choose?

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Speaker 1: Saying that was a dumb move on my part, loll

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Speaker 1: because it kind of gave him the idea to make

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Speaker 1: me choose. And he said, you're leaving us no option.

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Speaker 1: What options are you giving us? You need to choose

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Speaker 1: between your family or this boy.

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Speaker 4: And to be clear, she is not planning on marrying

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Speaker 4: this guy.

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Speaker 1: She's just dating someone. At this, I replied, I'm giving

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Speaker 1: you an option. I am saying that I plan to

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Speaker 1: keep dating him and it would be great if I

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Speaker 1: could have your guys support, But if not, what can

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Speaker 1: I do? At this he flips his crap again and

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Speaker 1: screams at my mom.

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Speaker 3: Do you hear what she said?

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Speaker 1: She said that she's going to keep dating him, and

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Speaker 1: we can either support her or she will date him anyways,

376
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Speaker 1: and we can go to I think that's actually not

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Speaker 1: what she just said.

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Speaker 3: After this, he threw his glasses.

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Speaker 1: On the floor in anger and lunged at the ground,

380
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Speaker 1: shouting and crying as if he was going to get hurt.

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Speaker 1: My mother and sister ran to stop him before he

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Speaker 1: did anything like that, and then they were all hugging

383
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Speaker 1: my dad and was like, sorry, sorry, I need to

384
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Speaker 1: care for my younger daughter. Our older one has shamed us.

385
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Speaker 1: I need to look after you guys again. He said,

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Speaker 1: all this, whall crying. Then he got on a call,

387
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Speaker 1: and I took it as a good opportunity to grab

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Speaker 1: a book and go read outside on.

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Speaker 3: My house on the porch.

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Speaker 1: After a while, my dad comes outside, saying sarcastically, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know how much reading you're getting done. Give me

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Speaker 1: the number of the guy, my boyfriend. At first I

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Speaker 1: was silent, Then he asked again and I said no,

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Speaker 1: I won't. I did not want my dad verbally abusing

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Speaker 1: my boyfriend brownie face. So at this he comes in

396
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Speaker 1: front of me. I was sitting, he was standing, and

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Speaker 1: very angrily. He was like, what did you say? And

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Speaker 1: he physically hurt me a bit. I looked at him

399
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Speaker 1: square in the eye and said, do not hit me again.

400
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Speaker 1: He said, or what are you going to call the

401
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,359
Speaker 1: police on me? I said, yes, I will. I do

402
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Speaker 1: not want to get hurt. He seemed like he was

403
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:54,359
Speaker 1: going to do something in anger again, but my mom

404
00:17:54,400 --> 00:17:56,600
Speaker 1: came and took him inside. I did not want to

405
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Speaker 1: stick around the house, so I took a walk around

406
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,080
Speaker 1: my neighborhood until it got superd I went to my

407
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,080
Speaker 1: room later and tried to sleep it off. I was

408
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Speaker 1: very tired from all of it. As the second anything physical,

409
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Speaker 1: it's it's so beyond the line and unacceptable.

410
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Speaker 3: I would have been like, he's like, what are you

411
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Speaker 3: gonna do? Call the police.

412
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Speaker 4: I'm like, no, I'm gonna call the Oklahoma drill right now.

413
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Speaker 4: And I would have buried him.

414
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Speaker 1: Then around midnight, my mom came to give me food

415
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Speaker 1: and I decided to eat, but then she called my

416
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Speaker 1: grandmother in India and handed me the phone my grandmother.

417
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Speaker 1: My grandmother is crying and just saying I should listen

418
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Speaker 1: to my parents. I told her I would call her tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Aka today, it's afternoon.

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Speaker 1: Right now, I'm helping my sister's study, but my mother

421
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,840
Speaker 1: is talking on the phone and crying loudly. Saying I

422
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,919
Speaker 1: expected so much from her. Who do we have to

423
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Speaker 1: live for? Blah blah blah blah blah. I am so

424
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,520
Speaker 1: tired and no. I didn't end up taking the neighbor's

425
00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:46,879
Speaker 1: help last night because they didn't answer their phone. I

426
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 1: was going to a friend's sleepover tonight, which I told

427
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Speaker 1: my parents about earlier in the week, and just found

428
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Speaker 1: out that they have hid my car keys since I

429
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Speaker 1: can't find him.

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Speaker 3: Great.

431
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Speaker 1: Everyone, my mom my grandparents keeps telling me I should

432
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Speaker 1: listen to my dad. What if something happens to someone

433
00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,880
Speaker 1: because they are stressing because they are stressing out about

434
00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:06,960
Speaker 1: it so much. Yeah, they're like, oh, what if something

435
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:11,000
Speaker 1: happens to your dad? It's like he's doing that to himself. Yeah,

436
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 1: Like come on, it's like, is now?

437
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:16,000
Speaker 4: Why is why am I responsible for every member of

438
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:17,160
Speaker 4: my family right now?

439
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 3: Come on?

440
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:23,440
Speaker 1: So, yeah, there's that, and we have update number three.

441
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 1: Let's go dude, ladies and gentlemen number three. Yesterday I

442
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,480
Speaker 1: asked one of my friends to give me a ride

443
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,760
Speaker 1: to the sleepover. My dad had called earlier in the

444
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,720
Speaker 1: afternoon asking my mom if I was still going to

445
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,359
Speaker 1: the sleepover and if I was to be back later.

446
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 3: In the night.

447
00:19:39,080 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 1: I couldn't stay the night there. My mom conveyed this

448
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:43,959
Speaker 1: message to me, and it made me angry. First of all,

449
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,240
Speaker 1: he hid my keys, and then he asked whether I'm

450
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,560
Speaker 1: still going. Second, I told her it's a sleepover. I'm

451
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,119
Speaker 1: going to spend the night there and I will be

452
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,920
Speaker 1: back in the morning. Anyways, last night was a much

453
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,760
Speaker 1: need to get away from me. Oh yeah you. Honestly

454
00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,440
Speaker 1: I didn't think about that, but yes.

455
00:19:59,320 --> 00:20:00,040
Speaker 3: You you.

456
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,800
Speaker 1: You needed to just get out of that environment for

457
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:07,159
Speaker 1: a beat, for a night, for great, a day, a week, whatever.

458
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,280
Speaker 1: It's only been like five days being at home, but

459
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:10,640
Speaker 1: it's felt like a lifetime.

460
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:13,879
Speaker 3: So seeing my lovely, wonderful friends was very nice.

461
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:15,480
Speaker 1: I got a chance to vent face to face, and

462
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 1: it made me feel a little better. My friend dropped

463
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 1: me off this morning at my house very early, and

464
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:22,159
Speaker 1: I went back to sleep. I'm up now, and I

465
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 1: had asked my Indian neighbors, whose son had been dating

466
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,320
Speaker 1: a white girl, if they would be willing to come

467
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 1: over tomorrow and speak with my parents along my side.

468
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 1: I am reconsidering this now, however, because I do think

469
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,440
Speaker 1: it will make my father angry. And second, I don't

470
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,000
Speaker 1: know whether it will change their minds at all. In fact,

471
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:42,639
Speaker 1: it could spew up everything all over again. By the way,

472
00:20:43,359 --> 00:20:48,359
Speaker 1: if you want to have a unlimited treasure trove of content,

473
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 1: I'm talking over two thousand podcast episodes for your listening pleasure.

474
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:58,280
Speaker 1: Oh my god, go to Spotify, Apple or iHeart and search. Okay,

475
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 1: story time and start listening right now. But yeah, I mean,

476
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:08,240
Speaker 1: I feel like we've pretty much said everything here. My

477
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 1: hope is that she does do what you said in

478
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 1: the beginning of like it's a hard option, but it

479
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,600
Speaker 1: is an option of just going out and living on.

480
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: She did say later in the story, like I'm down

481
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,879
Speaker 1: to the kind of like figure it out, get some

482
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:25,479
Speaker 1: get some loans, which at this point, like right, not

483
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,320
Speaker 1: a generally advisable thing, but hey, you're going to medical school.

484
00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:32,800
Speaker 1: It had maybe there's some scholarships. I for her for

485
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,080
Speaker 1: her life insanity, I think this is like definitely.

486
00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:37,720
Speaker 4: I think you got to start pulling off of your parents.

487
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 4: But I said this handful of times. I think today

488
00:21:41,359 --> 00:21:43,800
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna this is would be my overall advice

489
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 4: for like the before we get into the rest of

490
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:48,359
Speaker 4: the story, and it's that like, as just a person

491
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:52,960
Speaker 4: op like you need to sit with yourself and figure out,

492
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 4: like what is it you want?

493
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,480
Speaker 3: What do you really want?

494
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,320
Speaker 4: You want to go to med school out here, right,

495
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 4: and you want to date this guy, but do you

496
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,679
Speaker 4: want your family to not be in your life? And

497
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:06,040
Speaker 4: it's like you can like not, you have to like

498
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,120
Speaker 4: weigh all these things, but like find like the root,

499
00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:14,679
Speaker 4: like the seed, like the most like uh, the incorruptible

500
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,480
Speaker 4: truth of like this is that thing that I want?

501
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 4: And then what do you have to do to make

502
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:25,160
Speaker 4: that happen? I don't want my family bother me, all right,

503
00:22:25,200 --> 00:22:27,360
Speaker 4: you have to now like kind of cut them off,

504
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,120
Speaker 4: live on your own, figure it out.

505
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:31,600
Speaker 1: Or even just like hey, I'm going to do this

506
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,439
Speaker 1: and let them do whatever whatever they will do, or

507
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:37,320
Speaker 1: sure you know, but yeah, I mean honestly, at this

508
00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:44,720
Speaker 1: point she from the dad absolutely like we no that

509
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:50,520
Speaker 1: he has gone to some unforgivable Well, I mean, yeah,

510
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 1: your dad's clearly a racist. Yeah, and and he's he's

511
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,520
Speaker 1: physically a thing his own daughter. Other choice is just

512
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,840
Speaker 1: to not do anything else, give them time to think

513
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:04,560
Speaker 1: and hope their minds will change. I am tired of

514
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:06,679
Speaker 1: my mom and my grandparents crying to me about how

515
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 1: I should listen to my dad, not break up the family, etc.

516
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 1: What do you guys suggest? Also, thank you to every

517
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 1: single one of you as commented and message me. I

518
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 1: am reading all of them and they do give me hope,

519
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:17,360
Speaker 1: So thank you.

520
00:23:17,359 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 3: You all are awesome. We have some comments.

521
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 1: Come a number one, Why the f would they move

522
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,640
Speaker 1: to the US and then be surprised you're dating an American?

523
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,360
Speaker 1: People can be so dumb. I hope you are keeping

524
00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 1: yourself safe. Coming Number two says, since your father likes

525
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:33,360
Speaker 1: choices so much, here are his, he needs to shut up.

526
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 1: He moved you to America for a reason. What did

527
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 1: he assume was going to happen? He can either go

528
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:41,280
Speaker 1: to jail for the harmful act he did, or he

529
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,359
Speaker 1: can let you be in adults, or heck, let him

530
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 1: go back to India. If you're smart enough for medical

531
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 1: school in the States, you can probably take decent care

532
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,719
Speaker 1: of yourself on your own with loans and support of

533
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: your friends. Coming number three he says, I really feel

534
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:56,520
Speaker 1: for you, but in this kind of situation, you really

535
00:23:56,520 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 1: shouldn't have escalated it. Take their money and lie like lie.

536
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,119
Speaker 1: It's not worth a relationship with these a holes. So

537
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 1: if you can lie and be okay with them and

538
00:24:05,920 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: have them give you money to then take advantage of it.

539
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:12,040
Speaker 1: I'm in a similar situation, but I'm Pakistani Canadian and

540
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: I am attracted to the same gender and have a

541
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:18,240
Speaker 1: white boyfriend. I came out to my parents, disasterer and upheaval.

542
00:24:18,440 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 1: I'd lied, lied, lied, and they denied.

543
00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 3: Nye nied. We have a good relationship now. That sounds

544
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:24,000
Speaker 3: like a song.

545
00:24:24,119 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 1: Dude, we have a good relationship now, but don't talk

546
00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:31,000
Speaker 1: about the obvious attracted to the same genderness issue. My

547
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 1: dad even found out about my boyfriend, but I shut

548
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 1: that discussion down. I don't rely on them for tuition,

549
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: but if I ever ran out of savings, I would

550
00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: turn to loans first. If they're treating a relationship like

551
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 1: a business transaction, then.

552
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:47,920
Speaker 3: You should too. I mean, the only thing I'll say

553
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 3: there is and look this is I.

554
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: Am completely out of my weight class here and out

555
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 1: of my league. And you know, I am not a professional.

556
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: I only play one on an internet podcast. But I

557
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:05,159
Speaker 1: think there does come a day of reckoning of like

558
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,800
Speaker 1: living your truth, you know what I mean? Yeah, in

559
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:11,719
Speaker 1: a lot of situations and you know not to say

560
00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 1: that there isn't something there or that like you know,

561
00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:19,240
Speaker 1: but it's it's a very complicated, tough, tough decision to make.

562
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 3: But I think, like I'll just say closing out this

563
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:27,080
Speaker 3: story real quick. Live your truth. Hey, it's Sam. We're

564
00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 3: gonna get back to the stories. But here's three minutes

565
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:29,880
Speaker 3: of bads from our sponsors.

566
00:25:30,720 --> 00:25:34,240
Speaker 4: My fiance claimed my mother said something hurtful, but I'm

567
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,960
Speaker 4: struggling to believe it's true false. I am writing this

568
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 4: to figure out what to do or who to believe

569
00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 4: in this situation. Let me start out by saying that

570
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,960
Speaker 4: I am white and my lovely fiance is a black woman.

571
00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:48,680
Speaker 4: We have an amazing relationship and I don't want any

572
00:25:48,760 --> 00:25:51,680
Speaker 4: other woman in my life. She's also the only black

573
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 4: woman I have ever dated. By the way, this comes

574
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:57,560
Speaker 4: from user throwaway confused Guy, and if you want to

575
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the arts showcase Storytime

576
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 4: summered it. So, my parents have always been supportive of me,

577
00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 4: and I have an incredibly strong family relationship with them

578
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 4: and my siblings, Or at least I thought. When I

579
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:13,720
Speaker 4: was growing up in the Midwest, there weren't really black

580
00:26:13,760 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 4: people around, and the topic of racism never came up really,

581
00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 4: but I never suspected that my lovely, outgoing and polite

582
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 4: parents would be discriminatory because they even donated money to

583
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:27,720
Speaker 4: an orphanage in Africa for like twenty years now through

584
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,960
Speaker 4: their church. My parents met my fiance a year ago,

585
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 4: but did not take it too seriously because I had

586
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:36,480
Speaker 4: a lot of girlfriends in the past and they probably

587
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 4: just thought it was another girlfriend. Well, last weekend, I

588
00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,360
Speaker 4: announced to them that my girlfriend was now my fiance

589
00:26:43,560 --> 00:26:47,520
Speaker 4: on a family zoom meeting. My parents looked a little

590
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 4: surprised because I did not discuss it with them before,

591
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:54,440
Speaker 4: but we're ultimately congratulating me. We wanted to have a

592
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 4: dinner with them in person to sort of let them

593
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,600
Speaker 4: get to know their future daughter in law, and everything

594
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 4: blew up up. My mom forgot something for the dinner,

595
00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 4: and my dad and I went to the store to

596
00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 4: get it. My fiance texted me about ten minutes in,

597
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,960
Speaker 4: asking me to come back right away because she needed

598
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,240
Speaker 4: me and my dad and I turned around. When I

599
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:15,119
Speaker 4: got back, she was sitting in my car, I still

600
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,919
Speaker 4: had the keys, and she was crying, asking me to

601
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,840
Speaker 4: take her to our house. Of course, I drove her

602
00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 4: home and told my parents, I was sorry. My fiance

603
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 4: told me what my mom had said to her. Essentially,

604
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 4: my fiance told me that my mom said she was

605
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:34,880
Speaker 4: quote not supportive of us because she didn't want black grandchildren.

606
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 3: Game over Grandma throw her into.

607
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,439
Speaker 4: The pit of fire. Among a number of other things

608
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 4: she was surprised about, is that my fiance quote married up.

609
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 4: Even though I think my fiance is better looking than me,

610
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 4: but I'm a bit more successful financially well. I confronted

611
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,280
Speaker 4: my mom and asked what she said, and my mom

612
00:27:55,359 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 4: said that she said nothing even close to that, and

613
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,200
Speaker 4: that the only thing she said was that she was

614
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 4: curious what country my wife was ethnically from, and that

615
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 4: my fiance misunderstood her. That's really hard to get that

616
00:28:08,359 --> 00:28:09,639
Speaker 4: misunderstanding from that question.

617
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is a completely different scenario. What motivation would

618
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 3: she have to lie about that?

619
00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:23,919
Speaker 4: Yeah, And she's like, well, no, no, no, no, she misunderstood me.

620
00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:27,240
Speaker 4: I didn't say I hate her because she's she's black.

621
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 4: I just want to make sure she's not from a

622
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 4: place I despise. Oh yeah, yeah, come on, dude. I

623
00:28:32,400 --> 00:28:35,119
Speaker 4: asked my fiance some more probing questions, but she is

624
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:39,920
Speaker 4: adamant that my mom explicitly said these things. I've never

625
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,320
Speaker 4: known either of them to be liars, but the two

626
00:28:42,320 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 4: people I trust most in this world are giving me

627
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:48,920
Speaker 4: completely conflicting stories. I want to side with my wife,

628
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 4: but what if she's having some mental episode or something.

629
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 4: Is it a possibility that no one is lying here?

630
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 4: I need some effing help.

631
00:28:57,400 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 3: It was an edit.

632
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 4: It could also be a mental episode with my mom maybe,

633
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 4: but neither have mental issues. But they can pop up

634
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,800
Speaker 4: in people's twenties, like my uncle. So I just said

635
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 4: my fiance might have had a mental episode. Sorry for

636
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 4: the confusion. We have some comments here before we get

637
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 4: into them. Jonathan, Yes, John Boy, Yes, what.

638
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 3: Are we feeling right now? Do we?

639
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 4: Where are we going from here?

640
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 3: Yeah?

641
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 1: I mean again, I'm like, what would cause fiance to

642
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:29,880
Speaker 1: break down in tears and then say this is what you?

643
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:37,520
Speaker 1: It makes It makes no sense other than it's what

644
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 1: the mom actually said to her, Yeah, and that she's

645
00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,920
Speaker 1: just been essentially hiding this from you.

646
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 4: I'd say it's ninety five percent that there's like a

647
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 4: five percent chance. Maybe have you ever like been watching

648
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 4: like a TV show and then like while you're watching it,

649
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 4: like someone starts talk talking to you, and then all

650
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 4: of the words just go into jumble mumble talk, probably

651
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,320
Speaker 4: not where it's like you're you know exactly what's being said.

652
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 4: But then someone will start talking in your ear and

653
00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:12,320
Speaker 4: then all of a sudden like oh, it just becomes

654
00:30:12,360 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 4: like uncan't like you can't tell what anyone's really saying

655
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 4: or what's been like they were just playing loud music.

656
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 3: It got oh, I misheard you.

657
00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,960
Speaker 1: This is very very very bad. And now it is

658
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:28,480
Speaker 1: on ope too. If if you are in the not a,

659
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:33,600
Speaker 1: this is your mom and b uh, she's being.

660
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 3: Racist to your partner. So this is this is.

661
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:40,120
Speaker 4: The ball has now fallen into Opie's court here. Well,

662
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 4: we have some top comments here. Let's see what they

663
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:46,080
Speaker 4: have to say. Insomni eck uh says I guess ask

664
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 4: yourself who stands to gain anything by lying? Does your

665
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,760
Speaker 4: fiance have anything to gain by making this up? Or

666
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 4: does your mother have something to gain by denying it

667
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 4: ever happened? Because personally, I'm inclined to believe your fiance.

668
00:30:57,800 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 4: I don't see what she could possibly gain from this,

669
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 4: where as your mom has every reason to say it

670
00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 4: didn't happen. Here is gone says I'm a white guy

671
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 4: from the Deep South. This isn't even a mystery to me.

672
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:14,920
Speaker 4: Your wife is not making up anything. Trust her. The

673
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 4: quote ethnicity Dodge is old hat, and she's blaming your

674
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,560
Speaker 4: fiance for her own racism by saying she was misunderstood.

675
00:31:23,120 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 4: Midwesterners I personally know have a really skewed version of

676
00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 4: what racism is and often are not aware of how

677
00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 4: discriminatory they are exactly because they do not get to

678
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:36,600
Speaker 4: witness it on a regular basis or be embarrassed by

679
00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:40,080
Speaker 4: it on a regular basis no offense intended. Donating to

680
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,600
Speaker 4: a church for African or Haitian or Latin missions is

681
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:48,320
Speaker 4: the most discriminatory colonialist, self aggrandizing thing ever. By the way,

682
00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:51,480
Speaker 4: it's a disgusting, discriminatory banner wave.

683
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 1: I mean, like, yeahads on, why I get there's there's

684
00:31:55,160 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 1: the point of like, it's it's the uh, it's the

685
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: it's the flex of like, oh, hey, I'm doing this

686
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,880
Speaker 1: good thing and right all this stuff. Yeah, like that's

687
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:07,000
Speaker 1: when you're doing it for that cause, that reasoning any

688
00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: so that you can say I'm not racist. Yeah, yeah,

689
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,520
Speaker 1: Look I donated to the school in Africa, Yeah, which

690
00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:17,040
Speaker 1: I think I think there's there's a fat chunk of people.

691
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:17,400
Speaker 3: That are doing that.

692
00:32:17,480 --> 00:32:21,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, my parents' church has missions to Honduras and an

693
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 4: indoor basketball court for white kids, but won't do a

694
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 4: nang thing for the poor black kids in one of

695
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 4: the poorest counties in the United States. Anyway, I apologize

696
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:33,959
Speaker 4: apologies for coming across strongly, but please reinvest in your

697
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 4: fiance by being empathetic to her and put down a

698
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:40,040
Speaker 4: hard line now that your mother's comments were unacceptable. Best

699
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,280
Speaker 4: of luck to you, and we have an update, folks,

700
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 4: here we go. So who who said we are? We

701
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,000
Speaker 4: on mom's side, we on fiance's side.

702
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 3: I'm on fiance's side. I don't know.

703
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:50,120
Speaker 4: The only thing I could say is, if this is

704
00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:54,280
Speaker 4: a misunderstanding, stop having conversations with like music at max

705
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 4: volume on speakers the size of a suv, turn off

706
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 4: the sonic.

707
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:00,640
Speaker 3: Wave canon when you're talking to each other.

708
00:33:01,440 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 4: Team Fiance, Here we go. I really didn't think it

709
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:07,560
Speaker 4: was fair the way I was characterized in the comments,

710
00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 4: because I love my fiance and I believe her. But

711
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,560
Speaker 4: I also loved my mom and had no reason to

712
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 4: doubt her either. It's really hard to doubt your parents

713
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 4: when they have always been good to you your entire

714
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 4: life up until this incident. Anyways, I was basically completely

715
00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:25,920
Speaker 4: wrong about the whole situation. How you didn't choose the

716
00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 4: side yet. I decided to call my sisters. I told

717
00:33:28,640 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 4: them it was an emergency, and we hopped on a

718
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:34,760
Speaker 4: zoom call together. Well, I explained the crazy story to them,

719
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 4: and one of them just let out a laugh but

720
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 4: tried to hold it back. Then I went quiet, and

721
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:43,920
Speaker 4: we had a few seconds of awkwardness until she let out,

722
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:48,240
Speaker 4: are you really asking this? Then she told me, of course,

723
00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 4: Mom is discriminatory, and my sisters agreed with her. Then

724
00:33:53,840 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 4: they led me on a thirty minute rant about how

725
00:33:56,200 --> 00:33:58,480
Speaker 4: Mom would tell them not to marry outside their race,

726
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 4: especially black, because these marriages won't work out and no

727
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 4: decent man would want you.

728
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 3: After yup, there it is there, it is mother.

729
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:16,000
Speaker 4: Apparently she told them this regularly, and they all married

730
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,919
Speaker 4: white people. Anyways, the thing is that I am nine

731
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,520
Speaker 4: years younger than the youngest of them, so I guess

732
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 4: I was never included in these talks. She never once

733
00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 4: mentioned to me about race and who I should or

734
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,960
Speaker 4: shouldn't date. I don't know why I never received these messages. Moreover,

735
00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:34,400
Speaker 4: I guess I'm just blind because they also told me

736
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,160
Speaker 4: I was the favorite child because I was the only boy.

737
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:41,680
Speaker 4: I assumed my parents paid for everyone's first car and college,

738
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 4: but I guess it was just mine, golden child baby.

739
00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,680
Speaker 4: I'm thinking, like, as the older siblings, like, is there

740
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:51,480
Speaker 4: not a responsibility to shine the light on the true nature?

741
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 1: I feel like it would organically come up before this point,

742
00:34:56,120 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 1: especially if he was dating a black woman. Yeah, it

743
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 1: would have to come up at some point, like oh,

744
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 1: I'm sorry once once they see they're like, tell me

745
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 1: they're not like yo, like watch out because moms insanely consist.

746
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 4: They were really mad at me for what I put

747
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:15,240
Speaker 4: fiance through and not realizing things.

748
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 3: But I feel like.

749
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,400
Speaker 4: That's unfair because how am I supposed to know they

750
00:35:18,400 --> 00:35:20,600
Speaker 4: were mistreated compared to me if I was just a

751
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:23,320
Speaker 4: child when they were in college. I guess the close

752
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,640
Speaker 4: relationship I thought I had was just an illusion.

753
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:27,960
Speaker 3: I told my fiance that I was with.

754
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,480
Speaker 4: Her until I pass away, and I don't care if

755
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:32,600
Speaker 4: they all cut me off, and that I'm siding with

756
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 4: her always. Yes, I should have done this from the beginning,

757
00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:38,600
Speaker 4: because she's really not the kind of person to call

758
00:35:38,680 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 4: people just and I never knew her to be super political.

759
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:45,120
Speaker 4: After talking with my sisters, I hung up almost crying,

760
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 4: which I normally don't do. But I went and told

761
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,680
Speaker 4: my fiance everything I had learned, and we had just

762
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 4: held each other for a while.

763
00:35:52,760 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 3: She's not really.

764
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 4: Mad at me, but just sad about the whole situation,

765
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 4: and we talked a lot about whether to cut my

766
00:35:58,719 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 4: parents out completely or not. I know for sure we

767
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:04,319
Speaker 4: will not let them around our future children. Also, my

768
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,719
Speaker 4: sisters called me back and told me they're sorry that

769
00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:08,879
Speaker 4: they were so harsh on me, but I really hope

770
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 4: I don't lose all my family from this. I also

771
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:15,319
Speaker 4: found out my dad has those ring cameras installed, and

772
00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 4: I asked to see the videos from that day, but

773
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 4: he told me that they were already deleted or overwritten,

774
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:22,320
Speaker 4: but I would really like to see it in person

775
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:26,280
Speaker 4: for closure. Overall, I'm sorry for the storm this caused

776
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,719
Speaker 4: on here, but I decided to update because I keep

777
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 4: seeing alerts and messages from people. Maybe somebody will find

778
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,719
Speaker 4: this helpful, and by the way, I bet you'd find

779
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,640
Speaker 4: it pretty helpful knowing that there are full episodes with

780
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:44,000
Speaker 4: stories just like this on Spotify, on Apple podcasts and

781
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 4: iHeartRadio and wherever you listen to podcasts. All you gotta

782
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 4: do is search Okay, story time and there you go.

783
00:36:54,200 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 4: There it is. The archive is right there in my head.

784
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:56,720
Speaker 3: Is helpful.

785
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 4: It's in blips and bloops.

786
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 3: You just helped bits and thank you, Dakota. You're welcome.

787
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,839
Speaker 4: Do we have any do we have any final boughs here?

788
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:06,759
Speaker 3: Yeah?

789
00:37:06,800 --> 00:37:08,759
Speaker 1: Man, I mean at the end of the day, like,

790
00:37:09,360 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: I'm I'm really glad that Opie and his fiance are

791
00:37:14,880 --> 00:37:17,200
Speaker 1: He's he's he's there supporting her for this because that's

792
00:37:17,239 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: what she needs right now.

793
00:37:18,920 --> 00:37:21,600
Speaker 3: That is a horrific thing to hear.

794
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 1: And the fact that he's like, hey, like you are

795
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: my he basically he's like, you are my family. You know,

796
00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: that's a beautiful thing. You I choose you, and uh,

797
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 1: that's a beautiful thing.

798
00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 3: Top comment the Yola's d I l I'm glad.

799
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,880
Speaker 4: That your sisters sorted you out, but remember that this

800
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 4: has disproportionately affected them and your fiance even if you

801
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 4: weren't intentionally blind. You do need to cool it with

802
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 4: complaining about how this is unfair to you. Nosey Reader

803
00:37:48,719 --> 00:37:51,719
Speaker 4: ninety six says, I really hate that. He says his

804
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 4: fiance isn't super political, as if being racist is political.

805
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:56,520
Speaker 3: It's not.

806
00:37:56,760 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 4: Being racist just makes you an ahle Hannah no bira,

807
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,240
Speaker 4: or how standing up to racism is equivalent to taking

808
00:38:04,239 --> 00:38:07,839
Speaker 4: a political stance uh savage Fleur de Ly twenty three.

809
00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,920
Speaker 4: He says, it's only politics to people whose lives aren't affected,

810
00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:12,840
Speaker 4: like all those commises.

811
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: Okay, it's just at the end of the day, it's

812
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:20,239
Speaker 1: just actually treating someone good with human decency, not even politics.

813
00:38:20,719 --> 00:38:21,800
Speaker 3: Boom boom.

814
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:26,359
Speaker 5: My husband's ex refuses to get over him. We had

815
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,160
Speaker 5: to get a restraining order. Sounds like she was being

816
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:34,120
Speaker 5: extra extra. I met my husband six years ago. He

817
00:38:34,239 --> 00:38:37,360
Speaker 5: was an acquaintance until two years later when we reconnected.

818
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,359
Speaker 5: We were both single and became best friends. A few

819
00:38:40,360 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 5: months later we were dating, and a little over a

820
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,279
Speaker 5: year later we were married. By the way, this comes

821
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,640
Speaker 5: from Throwaway for Jax and if you want to submit

822
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 5: your own stories, go to.

823
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 2: The r slashe okay, storytime subbriad it.

824
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, so, we honestly don't have any big marriage issues.

825
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:55,920
Speaker 2: Greek communication, same.

826
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 5: Hobbies, and an amazing spicy sleep life. Our fights are

827
00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,399
Speaker 5: resolved in a well articulated manner, and overall we get

828
00:39:03,400 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 5: along even better than when we first met. The problem

829
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:11,400
Speaker 5: is this his ex girlfriend from years ago. When we

830
00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:13,960
Speaker 5: first met six years ago, when he was just a

831
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,320
Speaker 5: random acquaintance, he was dating another lady.

832
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,520
Speaker 2: No big deal. I had a boyfriend at the time too.

833
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,279
Speaker 5: I met my now husband and his girlfriend at the time,

834
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:24,120
Speaker 5: and that was that. I saw them around from time

835
00:39:24,160 --> 00:39:27,319
Speaker 5: to time and they were both nice, cordial people. Two

836
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,680
Speaker 5: years later, when we met again, they had broken up

837
00:39:29,680 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 5: a few months prior, so we started slowly dating about

838
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:37,040
Speaker 5: four months of being platonic. The minute we made it official,

839
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:40,800
Speaker 5: I received a Facebook message from his ex girlfriend calling

840
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 5: me a witch and saying that I stole the love

841
00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,399
Speaker 5: of her life away and that she knows that we're

842
00:39:46,440 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 5: having spices sleep when they were dating, and I ignored

843
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,200
Speaker 5: the message great chop because it was full of name

844
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:55,239
Speaker 5: calling and false claims. I never crossed a line with

845
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:57,960
Speaker 5: him while they were together. I barely knew him, never

846
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 5: even a hug or a handshake. Weeks went by and

847
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 5: she continued to pester me via Facebook, so I blocked her.

848
00:40:05,120 --> 00:40:08,000
Speaker 5: Then she found my Twitter account and began pestering me

849
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 5: on there, tweets, tweeting things like salute and ugly homewrecker

850
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:15,000
Speaker 5: at me. The ugly part really put a hurting on

851
00:40:15,120 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 5: my already low self esteem self esteem, and if I'm

852
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 5: being honest, she is a knockout compared to me. It

853
00:40:22,440 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 5: was tough to ignore, but for the most part I did.

854
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 5: So I blocked her on Twitter. Then the phone calls started.

855
00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 5: All right, dude, gosh.

856
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:33,160
Speaker 3: Why don't we where's the boyfriend?

857
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:37,000
Speaker 5: She began calling my boyfriend, oh wow, now husband, all

858
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 5: the time telling him that she saw me making out

859
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:41,760
Speaker 5: with random guys in different cities.

860
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:42,960
Speaker 3: Blah blah blah.

861
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:46,720
Speaker 5: He blocked her number. Then she got my phone number,

862
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 5: more text messages ranging from oh my gosh, I'm sorry

863
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:51,839
Speaker 5: I was mean.

864
00:40:51,880 --> 00:40:54,000
Speaker 2: You seem really nice. Let's be friends and hang out

865
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:57,680
Speaker 2: to what if you are so ugly? What is you with?

866
00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 4: You?

867
00:40:58,120 --> 00:40:58,440
Speaker 5: Not me?

868
00:40:58,880 --> 00:40:59,759
Speaker 3: So I blocked her.

869
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 5: Now A year passed and she seems to have vanished,

870
00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 5: aside from a few mutual friends who would occasionally mention her.

871
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 5: We forgot she existed, and then about a year ago,

872
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:12,680
Speaker 5: one year into our marriage, she resurfaces. She has a

873
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:15,359
Speaker 5: new phone number and begins calling and texting him again.

874
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:18,840
Speaker 5: He would show me the texts and he wouldn't respond,

875
00:41:18,960 --> 00:41:21,760
Speaker 5: and then she would go psycho because he wasn't responding,

876
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:25,960
Speaker 5: saying it was because I was controlling oddly enough, I

877
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:28,640
Speaker 5: told him to respond. I told him to kindly tell

878
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,239
Speaker 5: her that he is married and that she needs to

879
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 5: go away. Instead, he blocked her new number, which apparently

880
00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 5: just made her even more angry. Now, this woman lives

881
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 5: about two hours away from us, and within the past

882
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:43,040
Speaker 5: six months, she has been slowly trying to join our

883
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 5: friend circle. She shows up in our city at our

884
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:49,360
Speaker 5: favorite bars, usually alone, sometimes with some of our mutual

885
00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 5: friends she met randomly through Facebook. It is unbelievable. She

886
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,399
Speaker 5: also yelled at my best friend in a restaurant who

887
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,920
Speaker 5: was visiting her sick mother in ex's city.

888
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:01,279
Speaker 2: She is It's truly insane.

889
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:06,400
Speaker 5: I'm afraid. The final straw happened two months ago. We

890
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 5: went to our favorite bar to play some acoustic songs.

891
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:12,399
Speaker 5: We play music together occasionally, and guess who shows up

892
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 5: front row to glare at me the whole time. It's

893
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 5: his ex girlfriend from six years ago. No way, We

894
00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 5: tried to ignore her, but it really was unnerving. When

895
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 5: we were just trying to have fun and make a

896
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,960
Speaker 5: little extra cash. But every time I go to the

897
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,879
Speaker 5: bar to order a drink, there she is. Every time

898
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:35,400
Speaker 5: I go to the bathroom, there she is just waiting

899
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 5: for me to come out of the stall. Finally I

900
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:40,879
Speaker 5: approached her and said hello. She said, I'm not here

901
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:44,080
Speaker 5: to see you. I have to talk to Opie's husband.

902
00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,320
Speaker 5: I told her that was fine, but I didn't know

903
00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,040
Speaker 5: where he was. She takes off looking for him. I

904
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 5: stand around guzzling whiskey because honestly, I was just so

905
00:42:53,120 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 5: shocked and out of ideas on how to gracefully handle

906
00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 5: this woman. My husband comes up to me and says,

907
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 5: our instruments are loaded up and we need to go.

908
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 5: So we get in the van, and just like in

909
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,440
Speaker 5: a horror movie, she comes up to his driver window

910
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:10,200
Speaker 5: and starts crying and banging on the window. My husband

911
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:12,760
Speaker 5: rolls down the window and she throws an adult soda

912
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:13,959
Speaker 5: can at him and.

913
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,880
Speaker 2: Yells, why the e F did you marry her? My

914
00:43:17,000 --> 00:43:18,280
Speaker 2: husband drove off.

915
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 5: Thank goodness he was sober, because at this point I

916
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:26,040
Speaker 5: was whiskey wasted and completely freaked out. Since then, she

917
00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,520
Speaker 5: has become close with all of our friends, in the city.

918
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:32,840
Speaker 5: I crap you not. She literally has weaseled her way

919
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,799
Speaker 5: into our friend circle. She even is trying to become

920
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 5: friends with my sister, who has not taken the bait.

921
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 4: Have you told any of your friends about this woman?

922
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,799
Speaker 2: It is getting way beyond ridiculous.

923
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:47,240
Speaker 5: We can't go out in our city on the weekends

924
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:50,200
Speaker 5: without her randomly being in town and showing up at

925
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 5: the bar that we are at and staring or yelling.

926
00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 5: We live in a huge city. There are literally hundreds

927
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:59,279
Speaker 5: of bars to choose from. The last message I got

928
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 5: was a text from an unknown number that surprise was

929
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,480
Speaker 5: her telling me that I wasn't good enough for my

930
00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 5: husband and that I was ugly and he would leave

931
00:44:08,239 --> 00:44:11,279
Speaker 5: me for her one day. My husband has been very

932
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:13,840
Speaker 5: collected through all of this, but we are both about

933
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 5: to blow a gasket stop being collected. What can we

934
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,480
Speaker 5: do or say to make this nonsense stop. She is

935
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:23,400
Speaker 5: acting like a hormone crazy teenager around a member of

936
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 5: in Sync or whoever the cool band is nowel and

937
00:44:26,360 --> 00:44:27,600
Speaker 5: it is driving us crazy.

938
00:44:28,040 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 2: Seriously.

939
00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 5: We have thought about moving to another state because it

940
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 5: has gotten so out of hand, but we don't want

941
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,560
Speaker 5: to be bullied into leaving our beautiful home. We have

942
00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 5: talked to our friends about not hanging out with her,

943
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:40,240
Speaker 5: but she is nice on the surface and has sort

944
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 5: of already butted her way in. Our friends have told

945
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,560
Speaker 5: us some crazy creepy stuff that she does, like how

946
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 5: she talks about our dogs by name and the paint

947
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:51,240
Speaker 5: colors in our home, which I guess she is logging

948
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:54,000
Speaker 5: onto somebody else's Facebook and looking at our photos.

949
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

950
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:58,239
Speaker 4: What yes, so your friends should probably already Your friends

951
00:44:58,320 --> 00:44:59,840
Speaker 4: already have creepy stories.

952
00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:01,240
Speaker 2: Yeah about her.

953
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,600
Speaker 5: We are pretty locked down, but like I said, she

954
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 5: has wormed her way into our circle. What can we

955
00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,080
Speaker 5: do besides move far away. We have blocked her on

956
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,919
Speaker 5: social media, locked her phone number, and she lives two

957
00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 5: hours away.

958
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 2: I don't know what else we could do.

959
00:45:14,800 --> 00:45:17,720
Speaker 5: My cop friend said, as long as she is stalking

960
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,520
Speaker 5: us in public places, there isn't much we can do.

961
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,719
Speaker 5: Oh wow, So she's showing up in public places and

962
00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:27,200
Speaker 5: that means that, Oh wow. Any advice would be appreciated

963
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,759
Speaker 5: if anyone has any similar experience. Sorry, that was long.

964
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:33,840
Speaker 5: I tried to condense it to only the most dramatic offenses.

965
00:45:34,440 --> 00:45:35,080
Speaker 2: There isn't edit.

966
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,759
Speaker 5: Glad to know that we aren't crazy. Everybody seems to

967
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 5: be downplaying how disturbed this woman is. So your response is,

968
00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 5: at least let me know that we are right to

969
00:45:42,760 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 5: be concerned. I spoke with a lawyer last week about

970
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,919
Speaker 5: a restraining order, who was no help. But next week

971
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 5: I'm seeing another lawyer who is a family friend. He said,

972
00:45:51,719 --> 00:45:54,399
Speaker 5: just based on this small amount of evidence I've emailed him,

973
00:45:54,640 --> 00:45:56,520
Speaker 5: that we can definitely file an.

974
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 2: Order against her. Oh good, Okay, thank you for your

975
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:02,479
Speaker 2: edd Yeah, that's great.

976
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 4: I guess your straining order is better advice than like,

977
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 4: try to fight her.

978
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 2: So there are some comments.

979
00:46:08,640 --> 00:46:12,320
Speaker 5: Comments are number one says, first off, restraining order document everything. Second,

980
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,880
Speaker 5: I would get into contact with your friends, show them

981
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 5: a sampling of the texts, emails, et cetera, and say

982
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 5: something in the vein of please don't think that we

983
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:20,719
Speaker 5: are trying to tell you who you can or can't

984
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:23,240
Speaker 5: hang out with. You are, of course free to socialize

985
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:25,719
Speaker 5: with whomever you want without our objection. But with that

986
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 5: being said, please understand that this girl is pestering us

987
00:46:28,600 --> 00:46:31,080
Speaker 5: and seems to have no intention of stopping. We would

988
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 5: ask that if you continue to see her as as

989
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:35,960
Speaker 5: you're right. Please do not talk about us, do not

990
00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 5: share any details about our lives or schedules with her,

991
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:40,800
Speaker 5: and please do not invite us and her.

992
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:42,040
Speaker 2: To the same social event.

993
00:46:43,560 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 5: I would think that if your friends stop feeding her

994
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:47,840
Speaker 5: access or info, she'll stop seeing them.

995
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:50,640
Speaker 2: Op says, we tried that it failed.

996
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,680
Speaker 5: Now we have distanced ourselves from seventy five percent of

997
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 5: our friends here, which is fine. I just feel like

998
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:59,080
Speaker 5: I'm being bullied and it is stressing me out beyond belief.

999
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 5: We have sad badly seriously considered moving way the f

1000
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,279
Speaker 5: away just to get away from this mess. But someone

1001
00:47:06,280 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 5: else responds, how can your friends not see a problem

1002
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 5: with this? She is trying to declare her love to

1003
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 5: a freaking married man whose wife they're supposedly friends with

1004
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:16,799
Speaker 5: as well, and that doesn't bother them, even if they

1005
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 5: don't believe that she stalks you, guys, how could that

1006
00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 5: ever be a good idea? You're better off without these

1007
00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:25,080
Speaker 5: types of friends, Opie says, You're right, we have sadly

1008
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:25,600
Speaker 5: have to.

1009
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:27,960
Speaker 2: Cut out about seventy five percent of our friends. Is

1010
00:47:28,040 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 2: so absurd.

1011
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:32,319
Speaker 5: She must be ridiculously charismatic and manipulative, because I have

1012
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:35,120
Speaker 5: no idea how she has convinced all of these people

1013
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:39,879
Speaker 5: to support her in this psychotic endeavors. Comas re number

1014
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 5: two says, keep a log of what she does and

1015
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 5: save all of her texts and messages. Show these things

1016
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:46,960
Speaker 5: to your friends. If they don't drop her after that,

1017
00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:50,080
Speaker 5: they probably aren't your friends. The record keeping should also

1018
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:53,359
Speaker 5: come in handy to get a protective restraining order when

1019
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:56,719
Speaker 5: she inevitably goes off her rocker and starts stalking you

1020
00:47:56,800 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 5: at home and ANDed it, don't respond to any of

1021
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:02,839
Speaker 5: her texts or messages. I know a girl who has

1022
00:48:02,880 --> 00:48:05,800
Speaker 5: denied a restraining order because she would respond to her stalker.

1023
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:09,000
Speaker 5: Oh wow, Opie says, thank you. We have all the

1024
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 5: numbers she has used to contact us blocked so we

1025
00:48:11,600 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 5: don't get any more texts. But now she is trying

1026
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,839
Speaker 5: to add my sister on Facebook. She didn't accept it,

1027
00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,800
Speaker 5: but it is getting crazy. I could deactivate my Twitter

1028
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:22,000
Speaker 5: and Facebook, but I use my Twitter for work, and

1029
00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,920
Speaker 5: we have so many out of town friends I love

1030
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,640
Speaker 5: keeping up with them on Facebook. It isn't fair I

1031
00:48:26,640 --> 00:48:28,880
Speaker 5: should have to give these things up because of a

1032
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 5: crazy person.

1033
00:48:30,080 --> 00:48:32,879
Speaker 2: I'm just at a loss of what to do other

1034
00:48:32,920 --> 00:48:36,319
Speaker 2: than running away, and there is an update Boil Boil book.

1035
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:38,600
Speaker 4: Oh boy, I hope the ex goes to jail somehow,

1036
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 4: Oh boy.

1037
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 2: Long story short.

1038
00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:44,200
Speaker 5: She contacted me via her boyfriend's Facebook on our music

1039
00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 5: facebook page. I know what the f asking me questions

1040
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:51,200
Speaker 5: about my relationship with my husband, admitting her love for him,

1041
00:48:51,239 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 5: and then asking if the three of us could hang

1042
00:48:53,239 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 5: out because I seem really nice.

1043
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:55,919
Speaker 2: What.

1044
00:48:56,560 --> 00:48:58,520
Speaker 5: I messaged her back and told her that if she

1045
00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:01,160
Speaker 5: contacted either of us again, we were going to pursue

1046
00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:04,040
Speaker 5: a restraining order, which we already were pursuing it, but

1047
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:05,400
Speaker 5: I thought i'd give her fair warning.

1048
00:49:06,080 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 2: Well like clockwork.

1049
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,760
Speaker 5: Two days later, me and my husband play a show

1050
00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 5: at our favorite bar and guess who is there front

1051
00:49:14,280 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 5: row her. My husband calmly talked to the bar manager

1052
00:49:18,400 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 5: and he asked her to leave. She caused a huge scene,

1053
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:24,919
Speaker 5: crying and screaming and cussing at me, yelling things about

1054
00:49:24,920 --> 00:49:27,879
Speaker 5: how ugly and talentless I was, YadA, YadA. The bar

1055
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:30,600
Speaker 5: manager threatened to call the cops, and she left the

1056
00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 5: next day, after presenting the police station and our lawyer

1057
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 5: friend with all of the evidence we had, which was

1058
00:49:35,440 --> 00:49:40,160
Speaker 5: a lot, the restraining order was officially in effect. It's

1059
00:49:40,200 --> 00:49:42,360
Speaker 5: been a little over a week and so far we

1060
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:46,880
Speaker 5: haven't heard anything from her or about her yay uzzah.

1061
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 5: Hopefully she doesn't go even more psycho. But for now,

1062
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:53,359
Speaker 5: I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. Thank

1063
00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 5: you Reddit for letting me know that we were not

1064
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:58,120
Speaker 5: being crazy and feeling threatened and scared of her. You

1065
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,719
Speaker 5: guys gave us the courage to nip this crap in

1066
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 5: the mud. Keep us in your thoughts. I still feel

1067
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 5: a little uneasy about the restraining order pushing her further

1068
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:10,799
Speaker 5: over the edge. But we have another update. Well, this

1069
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 5: is a weird but overall good update. Stalker Girl disappeared

1070
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 5: after the restraining order was filed.

1071
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 3: You thank god, thank god.

1072
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 5: Once we had that done, we convinced my mother in

1073
00:50:20,200 --> 00:50:22,319
Speaker 5: law to cut her off too, which so far she

1074
00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,080
Speaker 5: has just.

1075
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,399
Speaker 2: Saying that she didn't in the first place.

1076
00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:29,800
Speaker 5: But okay, Well, after a month of silence and bliss,

1077
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:32,080
Speaker 5: I get a text from an unknown number.

1078
00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:34,200
Speaker 2: Surprise it's her.

1079
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:35,360
Speaker 3: Oh.

1080
00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 5: Her text basically said this this is crazy X. Please

1081
00:50:40,440 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 5: don't call the cops. I'm contacting you for your own good.

1082
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 5: I'm pregnant and your husband is the father. Girl, for

1083
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,440
Speaker 5: your own good. Oh my god, do you also have

1084
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:52,359
Speaker 5: a million dollars to give me? What?

1085
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:53,319
Speaker 3: WHOA?

1086
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 2: I just have to I just have to send you

1087
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:56,520
Speaker 2: one thousand first.

1088
00:50:57,800 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 3: It's crazy?

1089
00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:01,440
Speaker 2: What oh loud?

1090
00:51:02,400 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 5: When my husband got home from work, I asked him

1091
00:51:04,680 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 5: if he had planned on telling me that he was

1092
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 5: expecting a child in a few months. He was confused,

1093
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 5: so I showed him the text, which I didn't reply to.

1094
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 2: He was so angry. Actually, I don't know if I've

1095
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:17,480
Speaker 2: ever seen him that angry.

1096
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:20,480
Speaker 5: I thought he was going to snap the phone in half.

1097
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:23,520
Speaker 5: After he calmed down, we decided to take care of

1098
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:26,480
Speaker 5: it the next morning. I'm assuming my husband isn't the

1099
00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:29,360
Speaker 5: father lol. Anyway, the next day we went to the

1100
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:31,840
Speaker 5: police station and showed them the text. They had to

1101
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:34,480
Speaker 5: contact the police department in her city, so we waited.

1102
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:37,319
Speaker 5: We later got word that there was a warrant out

1103
00:51:37,360 --> 00:51:40,239
Speaker 5: for her arrest, and less than a week later we

1104
00:51:40,320 --> 00:51:42,840
Speaker 5: got a call saying that she was in custody.

1105
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 4: WHOA.

1106
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 5: When we received that news, we both kind of freaked out,

1107
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:50,160
Speaker 5: both with relief and fear. Obviously, she won't be there forever,

1108
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 5: but you know who will be here forever?

1109
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:53,359
Speaker 4: Us?

1110
00:51:53,800 --> 00:51:54,400
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1111
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 5: On Spotify Apple Podcasts or iHeartRadio, whatever your favorite podcast

1112
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:00,799
Speaker 5: app is. Just search Okay, Storytime and you're gonna find

1113
00:52:00,840 --> 00:52:03,520
Speaker 5: full episodes more strikes just like this one. That was

1114
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,080
Speaker 5: a few months ago and we haven't heard from her since.

1115
00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:08,600
Speaker 5: Word around my mother in law's church is that she

1116
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:11,360
Speaker 5: is definitely pregnant and is working at some piece of joint.

1117
00:52:11,680 --> 00:52:13,600
Speaker 2: Good for her. I don't care what she's doing as

1118
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 2: long as she's far away from us.

1119
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:18,760
Speaker 5: As for the baby, I don't think it's my husband's,

1120
00:52:18,760 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 5: but we're going to let Mari decide once it's born.

1121
00:52:21,520 --> 00:52:22,320
Speaker 2: JKK.

1122
00:52:24,680 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 5: I trust my husband to never cheat on me, and

1123
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:28,880
Speaker 5: if he ever did, I hope that he would have

1124
00:52:28,920 --> 00:52:32,320
Speaker 5: better taste than that crazy pants. There are some comments.

1125
00:52:32,560 --> 00:52:35,200
Speaker 5: Number one, just a word of caution. She might name

1126
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:37,680
Speaker 5: your hobby as the father on her birth certificate, in

1127
00:52:37,719 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 5: which case he would need to get a paternity test.

1128
00:52:40,280 --> 00:52:43,200
Speaker 2: So while it might be over, it might not. Oh,

1129
00:52:43,320 --> 00:52:44,600
Speaker 2: he says, Yeah.

1130
00:52:44,680 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 5: We were wondering what the deal with that is. She

1131
00:52:47,080 --> 00:52:49,560
Speaker 5: has a boyfriends, so we assume it is his kid,

1132
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:52,760
Speaker 5: but who knows. My husband said that he would gladly

1133
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:55,120
Speaker 5: take a paternity test if it came down to it, but.

1134
00:52:55,160 --> 00:52:57,440
Speaker 2: What a crock of crap.

1135
00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 5: I really hope it doesn't come to all of that.

1136
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 5: Hopefully jail calmed her butt down. But on second thought,

1137
00:53:03,160 --> 00:53:04,240
Speaker 5: those pregnancy.

1138
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 2: Hormones might make her crazier.

1139
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:10,000
Speaker 5: Compre Number two says, out of curiosity, those friends of yours,

1140
00:53:10,120 --> 00:53:13,400
Speaker 5: any word from them? Ohp he says a couple of apologies.

1141
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 5: Once she got arrested. We forgave, but we're still keeping

1142
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:18,839
Speaker 5: our distance. And that is it.

1143
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 2: It's the end of that story. Wow, Oh my gosh.

1144
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:25,600
Speaker 3: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

1145
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,560
Speaker 3: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1146
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:32,120
Speaker 4: My parents crossed a line with my wife and now

1147
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,160
Speaker 4: my marriage is at risk.

1148
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:36,759
Speaker 2: Boundaries, people, boundaries.

1149
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,440
Speaker 4: Yes, and there's a trigger warning here for miscarriage.

1150
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:40,840
Speaker 3: The story is going to talk about that.

1151
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:43,200
Speaker 4: If you don't want to hear that, do not listen

1152
00:53:43,200 --> 00:53:43,840
Speaker 4: to this story.

1153
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:44,240
Speaker 2: Please.

1154
00:53:44,680 --> 00:53:45,600
Speaker 3: Here's some background.

1155
00:53:46,840 --> 00:53:49,520
Speaker 4: I'm an only child and it's been drilled into me

1156
00:53:49,560 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 4: from an early age that I need to be there

1157
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:53,200
Speaker 4: for my parents when they get older.

1158
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 3: For the most part, I don't mind.

1159
00:53:55,360 --> 00:53:57,080
Speaker 4: They've done their best to give me what I need,

1160
00:53:57,120 --> 00:53:59,359
Speaker 4: and I'm only too glad to help out when I can.

1161
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,200
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user stuck in two

1162
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

1163
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:07,879
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime subred it. So when

1164
00:54:07,880 --> 00:54:10,120
Speaker 4: I got married, I was happy to know my wife

1165
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 4: shared this sentiment too. She treats my parents like her own.

1166
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:16,359
Speaker 4: For the most part. The issue is my parents are

1167
00:54:16,440 --> 00:54:20,360
Speaker 4: currently here visiting us. They've been here for two months

1168
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 4: and the plan is for them to stay another three weeks.

1169
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:26,040
Speaker 4: This hasn't been an issue for us. A couple of

1170
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,640
Speaker 4: days ago, though, my wife had what she thought was

1171
00:54:28,680 --> 00:54:30,440
Speaker 4: her period, but after.

1172
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:34,120
Speaker 3: Some time she was in a lot of pain trigger warning,

1173
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 3: so I rushed her.

1174
00:54:35,560 --> 00:54:37,600
Speaker 4: To the er, where we were told she was having

1175
00:54:37,600 --> 00:54:38,279
Speaker 4: a miscarriage.

1176
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:38,800
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

1177
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:40,560
Speaker 3: This was a huge.

1178
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:43,400
Speaker 4: Surprise to both of us because we didn't suspect anything.

1179
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,080
Speaker 4: She was sent home with orders to rest and take

1180
00:54:46,120 --> 00:54:49,800
Speaker 4: it easy, and upon her insistence, we told my parents

1181
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 4: that she'd had a stomach bug and that, along with

1182
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:56,800
Speaker 4: her period, made things worse. The next day, my wife

1183
00:54:56,840 --> 00:54:59,720
Speaker 4: was in bed resting when and this part is based

1184
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:02,120
Speaker 4: on she told me. Since I was at work, my

1185
00:55:02,200 --> 00:55:04,400
Speaker 4: mother entered the room and asked her when she was

1186
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 4: getting out of bed.

1187
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 3: As there was work to be done.

1188
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:10,360
Speaker 4: She politely replied that she wasn't feeling well and that

1189
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 4: she would be staying in bed all day, but if

1190
00:55:12,480 --> 00:55:15,239
Speaker 4: my mom wanted something to be done, just note it

1191
00:55:15,280 --> 00:55:18,200
Speaker 4: down and she would do it. The following day, my wife,

1192
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:21,440
Speaker 4: who I'll call Lucy, told my mom that if it

1193
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:23,799
Speaker 4: was a truly urgent matter, she would ask me to

1194
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:26,720
Speaker 4: take care of it. In the evening, my mom proceeded

1195
00:55:26,719 --> 00:55:29,000
Speaker 4: to yell at her and tell her she was a

1196
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:32,480
Speaker 4: no good, lazy witch who took advantage of her son.

1197
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:36,279
Speaker 4: Lucy started crying and asked my mom to leave the room,

1198
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:39,520
Speaker 4: but my mom stood there yelling at her till Lucy

1199
00:55:39,560 --> 00:55:42,800
Speaker 4: picked up the phone and called me. Apparently, when she did,

1200
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:45,719
Speaker 4: that's when my mom left the room, and Lucy got

1201
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 4: up and locked the door. I picked up her call

1202
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 4: and she was still crying and wasn't able to give

1203
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:52,040
Speaker 4: me an answer, so I rushed home.

1204
00:55:52,080 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 3: At lunchtime.

1205
00:55:52,920 --> 00:55:55,080
Speaker 4: She told me the whole story, and I'm ashamed to

1206
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 4: say I didn't believe it. My mom had never behaved

1207
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:03,040
Speaker 4: like that ever, and I didn't see her doing it.

1208
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:05,560
Speaker 4: I got Lucy to take a nap and asked my

1209
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 4: mother what happened, and she told me she just asked

1210
00:56:08,280 --> 00:56:11,200
Speaker 4: Lucy what she wanted for lunch. When Lucy started crying,

1211
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:14,440
Speaker 4: I messed up again and let it slip that Lucy

1212
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:17,200
Speaker 4: had had a miscarriage and told my mom to keep

1213
00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:18,880
Speaker 4: an eye on her because it might have been her

1214
00:56:18,960 --> 00:56:20,319
Speaker 4: hormones causing her to cry.

1215
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:20,799
Speaker 3: Well.

1216
00:56:20,840 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 4: Two hours after I got back to work and I

1217
00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:26,399
Speaker 4: get another call from Lucy, except this time I can

1218
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:29,279
Speaker 4: hear my mom screaming terrible things that Lucy about her

1219
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:34,560
Speaker 4: miscarry No. I rushed home immediately and confronted my parents.

1220
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:37,799
Speaker 4: My mom was unrepentant, and my dad said he didn't

1221
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:40,440
Speaker 4: want to be dragged into the issue. I asked Lucy

1222
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 4: what she wanted, and she told me she wanted my

1223
00:56:42,520 --> 00:56:46,120
Speaker 4: parents out of the house immediately. This posed a problem

1224
00:56:46,120 --> 00:56:47,880
Speaker 4: for me, and I told her I'd put them up

1225
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 4: in a hotel somewhere for a night or two. She

1226
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:52,600
Speaker 4: lost it and said that I wasn't to spend a

1227
00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:55,719
Speaker 4: single dollar on them, not after the things my mom

1228
00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:57,919
Speaker 4: had said to her. I told her sorry, but that

1229
00:56:58,040 --> 00:57:00,400
Speaker 4: was out of the question as my parents depended on me.

1230
00:57:00,600 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 4: She started weeping and told me to get out, and

1231
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 4: I left her alone for some time. During that time,

1232
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:08,640
Speaker 4: she'd called her brother, who lives in the next town,

1233
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:11,040
Speaker 4: and he turned up. He didn't say a single word,

1234
00:57:11,360 --> 00:57:13,680
Speaker 4: just to help the lucy pack and they left. I

1235
00:57:13,760 --> 00:57:15,440
Speaker 4: tried to stop her and to get her to stay,

1236
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:17,240
Speaker 4: but all she told me was as long as my

1237
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 4: parents were here, she would not be I didn't know

1238
00:57:19,760 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 4: what to do. I just kept calling her and leaving

1239
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 4: messages for her. My parents took it upon themselves to

1240
00:57:24,680 --> 00:57:27,280
Speaker 4: call up her parents, who live in a different country,

1241
00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:30,200
Speaker 4: and essentially insult them by telling them that if they

1242
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:32,120
Speaker 4: had brought up their daughter better, she wouldn't have left.

1243
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:34,080
Speaker 4: I had to snatch the phone away from them and

1244
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:37,240
Speaker 4: apologize to her parents. They were totally baffled, so I

1245
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:39,600
Speaker 4: explained everything to them, after which they hung up on

1246
00:57:39,680 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 4: me and that hurt. I left a message apologizing again,

1247
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 4: but they haven't replied. The next day, I got a

1248
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,400
Speaker 4: message from my wife asking me to come to her

1249
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:51,840
Speaker 4: brother's place. I went after work and we talked. She

1250
00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:53,800
Speaker 4: told me it wasn't fair that she couldn't be in

1251
00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:56,400
Speaker 4: her own house while my parents were. According to her,

1252
00:57:56,400 --> 00:57:58,720
Speaker 4: it felt like being punished for no fault of her own.

1253
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:01,160
Speaker 4: And then she told me that if my parents weren't

1254
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:04,000
Speaker 4: out by the end of the week on their own money,

1255
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 4: not ours, she would leave me. I know my parents

1256
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:08,960
Speaker 4: need to go, but each time I tell them, my

1257
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:12,080
Speaker 4: dad refuses to buy a ticket to leave and says

1258
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 4: they'll leave when they plan to leave, And if I

1259
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:16,920
Speaker 4: keep pressuring them, they'll disown me. I can't get them

1260
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,000
Speaker 4: out of my house. I'm at work all day, and buddy,

1261
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:22,760
Speaker 4: you shouldn't be worrying whether you should be disowning them.

1262
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:23,320
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1263
00:58:24,280 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, I can't get them out of the house. I'm

1264
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,080
Speaker 4: at work all day. If I don't get them out,

1265
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:31,160
Speaker 4: my wife will leave me, and I can't imagine having

1266
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:34,280
Speaker 4: a life without her. My parents don't care that she'll

1267
00:58:34,360 --> 00:58:36,880
Speaker 4: leave me. My wife doesn't care that my parents might

1268
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:39,439
Speaker 4: disown me. Yesterday her brother called me up and told

1269
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:40,960
Speaker 4: me that each day my parents are in our home

1270
00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:43,680
Speaker 4: and she isn't, she hates me a little more. Oh gosh,

1271
00:58:43,760 --> 00:58:45,600
Speaker 4: I don't know what to do. I don't want to

1272
00:58:45,600 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 4: get the police to get my parents out, because well,

1273
00:58:48,080 --> 00:58:51,040
Speaker 4: they're my parents. I can't lose my wife. I can't

1274
00:58:51,080 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 4: see a way out of this.

1275
00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:52,880
Speaker 3: Help me.

1276
00:58:53,200 --> 00:58:56,640
Speaker 4: Please told my parents to leave or i'd call the cops.

1277
00:58:57,080 --> 00:58:59,280
Speaker 4: They're flying out to stay with my aunt for the

1278
00:58:59,280 --> 00:59:03,120
Speaker 4: remaining three weeks. Wow, my mom trashed the house, but

1279
00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:05,480
Speaker 4: they're out and it's another offense you could that's a

1280
00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:07,959
Speaker 4: criminal offense. I'm going to pick up my wife now.

1281
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:09,440
Speaker 3: I've got a lot of graveling to do.

1282
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:11,600
Speaker 4: Not sure if I want to stay in contact with

1283
00:59:11,680 --> 00:59:16,400
Speaker 4: my parents anymore. Thanks everyone, Yeah, I'd be pretty sure.

1284
00:59:16,400 --> 00:59:18,880
Speaker 4: I wouldn't want to stay in contact with my day.

1285
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:19,680
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1286
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:19,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1287
00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:23,040
Speaker 4: When are you Asian or from another traditional conservative culture?

1288
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 4: I say that because of this and because your parents

1289
00:59:25,920 --> 00:59:28,600
Speaker 4: planned on staying with you for three months. Because most

1290
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:30,760
Speaker 4: people from Western cultures wouldn't be saying a lot of

1291
00:59:30,800 --> 00:59:33,160
Speaker 4: the things you say below, and also because most of

1292
00:59:33,200 --> 00:59:35,640
Speaker 4: them wouldn't be feeling stuck in a quandary or debating

1293
00:59:35,680 --> 00:59:38,040
Speaker 4: whether to cut off contact with the parents. They would

1294
00:59:38,040 --> 00:59:41,160
Speaker 4: see this as one hundred percent unacceptable. Your mom is

1295
00:59:41,240 --> 00:59:45,800
Speaker 4: a psycho witch, go no contact immediately, etc. Instead, you

1296
00:59:45,840 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 4: put a lot of significance on not being disowned, and

1297
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 4: you're obviously stuck trying to keep a relationship with your

1298
00:59:51,320 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 4: parents and with your wife.

1299
00:59:53,280 --> 00:59:53,800
Speaker 3: Comment too.

1300
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 4: Here's where I think the first and possibly most damaging

1301
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,080
Speaker 4: f up is when you sided with your mom. You

1302
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:03,440
Speaker 4: basically accused your wife of lying to you. When you

1303
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:05,600
Speaker 4: said you couldn't see your mother yelling at her like that,

1304
01:00:05,640 --> 01:00:08,520
Speaker 4: you essentially told your wife she was a liar. Your

1305
01:00:08,560 --> 01:00:11,520
Speaker 4: wife is dealing with a miscarriage. It f's with everything

1306
01:00:11,560 --> 01:00:15,280
Speaker 4: about your being, both physically, hormones are not an effing joke,

1307
01:00:15,360 --> 01:00:18,640
Speaker 4: and emotionally. There's a very real possibility that she's grieving

1308
01:00:18,720 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 4: right now. Everything you have done since this first incident

1309
01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:24,080
Speaker 4: has shown her that you do not value your family

1310
01:00:24,080 --> 01:00:26,520
Speaker 4: with her the way that you value your parents. You've

1311
01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:30,320
Speaker 4: got a choice to make right now, her or your parents. Lastly,

1312
01:00:30,360 --> 01:00:32,080
Speaker 4: your wife did not put you in this position.

1313
01:00:32,480 --> 01:00:32,880
Speaker 3: You did.

1314
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:36,880
Speaker 4: What she's asking is totally reasonable. She was verbally abused

1315
01:00:36,920 --> 01:00:39,400
Speaker 4: in her home while she was vulnerable. If it was

1316
01:00:39,440 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 4: you in that position, would you be okay with the

1317
01:00:41,360 --> 01:00:44,560
Speaker 4: assailant staying in your home? If you had believed your

1318
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:47,040
Speaker 4: wife and stood up for her from jump, you would

1319
01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 4: not be in this position. If you choose to support

1320
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:52,040
Speaker 4: her in this, It's important that you deal with any

1321
01:00:52,080 --> 01:00:54,680
Speaker 4: resentment you feel without taking it out on her.

1322
01:00:54,720 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 3: Comment three.

1323
01:00:55,440 --> 01:00:58,439
Speaker 4: Even if your wife were lying, you should still have

1324
01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 4: removed your parents. She's emotionally and medically vulnerable, and if

1325
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:04,520
Speaker 4: she's uncomfortable with guests, then those guests are going to

1326
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:07,760
Speaker 4: jeopardize her healing process. How the f were you expecting

1327
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:10,680
Speaker 4: to handle the postpartum period? Oh well, I'm sorry you're

1328
01:01:10,680 --> 01:01:12,640
Speaker 4: having a conflict with my mother, but I wasn't there

1329
01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 4: to see it, So I'm going to blame it on

1330
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:17,920
Speaker 4: your hormones, postpartum depression, postpartum psychosis, whatever. And since it

1331
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,680
Speaker 4: must be your fault because you're the one with the

1332
01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:22,480
Speaker 4: attawac hormones, my mother gets to stay and you'll have

1333
01:01:22,520 --> 01:01:24,640
Speaker 4: to figure out how to recover and not spiral into

1334
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:28,320
Speaker 4: postpartum depression or psychosis while simultaneously playing hostess to a

1335
01:01:28,360 --> 01:01:30,120
Speaker 4: guest who is a huge source of stress to you,

1336
01:01:30,440 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 4: while I'll stay away all day at work. Seriously, so,

1337
01:01:34,960 --> 01:01:38,120
Speaker 4: what if the conflict was your wife's fault for having PPD?

1338
01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:40,480
Speaker 4: Do you really think that that would be a good

1339
01:01:40,480 --> 01:01:43,400
Speaker 4: recovery strategy? Just the fact that you thought you needed

1340
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,720
Speaker 4: to take sides that you thought it would offend your

1341
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:48,000
Speaker 4: parents to change their plans to allow your wife to

1342
01:01:48,040 --> 01:01:51,120
Speaker 4: recover from a serious medical and emotional problem is a

1343
01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:54,360
Speaker 4: huge red warning flag that the problem is your parents

1344
01:01:54,440 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 4: and you, not your wife. There's an update here, let's

1345
01:01:57,840 --> 01:02:02,800
Speaker 4: get into it. Long story short, it's all good. Oh, nice,

1346
01:02:03,320 --> 01:02:09,680
Speaker 4: long story. Long Op's wife here. Oh my gosh, we

1347
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:12,120
Speaker 4: are now getting the wife's perspective.

1348
01:02:12,720 --> 01:02:14,000
Speaker 2: Oh this is crazy.

1349
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,840
Speaker 4: He showed me this post as we were having our

1350
01:02:16,960 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 4: much needed conversation, and wow, it got a lot of replies. First,

1351
01:02:21,160 --> 01:02:23,600
Speaker 4: I was blown away by all the support in the comments.

1352
01:02:23,920 --> 01:02:26,320
Speaker 4: I wanted to let everyone know that I've been fine

1353
01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:29,040
Speaker 4: for the most part. The miscarriage was sudden and unexpected,

1354
01:02:29,080 --> 01:02:30,560
Speaker 4: and neither of us knew how to feel about it,

1355
01:02:30,600 --> 01:02:32,880
Speaker 4: but we've come to terms with it. Hopefully in the

1356
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,960
Speaker 4: near future we'll have a more positive result. Secondly, to

1357
01:02:36,040 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 4: add some context to the previous post, we're Indian. In

1358
01:02:40,920 --> 01:02:42,800
Speaker 4: our culture, it's kind of a given that you help

1359
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:45,400
Speaker 4: your parents out as they grow older. It's also a

1360
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:48,640
Speaker 4: common thing for parents to have long visits and whatnot.

1361
01:02:49,160 --> 01:02:50,800
Speaker 3: Third my husband is a good guy.

1362
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:53,920
Speaker 4: I can understand the vitriol coming his way over failing

1363
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:56,680
Speaker 4: to see his parents' past behavior. But the thing is,

1364
01:02:57,280 --> 01:02:59,640
Speaker 4: neither of us were able to believe his parents were

1365
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,480
Speaker 4: a cave full of such behavior. He hasn't spent much

1366
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:04,920
Speaker 4: time with his parents growing up. He stayed with an

1367
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:07,680
Speaker 4: aunt and cousin to attend school, and with his grandparents

1368
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:10,880
Speaker 4: during his college days, so he's never actually spent extended

1369
01:03:10,960 --> 01:03:14,040
Speaker 4: periods of time at home to note their behavior. The

1370
01:03:14,080 --> 01:03:16,000
Speaker 4: most time I've spent with them in the past was

1371
01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 4: a week, and my parents were there too during that time.

1372
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:21,640
Speaker 3: Now under the actual.

1373
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 4: Update, Oh Boy, After he banished his parents, my husband

1374
01:03:27,200 --> 01:03:31,080
Speaker 4: Jack came down to my brother's apartment to, in his words,

1375
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:34,479
Speaker 4: take me home. Before he did, though, we had a long,

1376
01:03:34,600 --> 01:03:37,720
Speaker 4: long conversation and spoke about everything, which is how he

1377
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:41,280
Speaker 4: came to the first and third points mentioned before. My

1378
01:03:41,360 --> 01:03:43,760
Speaker 4: brother was a champ and lent us his apartment for

1379
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:46,440
Speaker 4: the night to give us privacy. I asked Jack what

1380
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:49,440
Speaker 4: his plans with his parents were, and he told me

1381
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:51,400
Speaker 4: he's not going to let them back into our lives

1382
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:52,800
Speaker 4: unless they apologize.

1383
01:03:53,040 --> 01:03:53,880
Speaker 3: If they do, then.

1384
01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:56,280
Speaker 4: Will allow them to see any future children, but it

1385
01:03:56,360 --> 01:03:59,880
Speaker 4: will always be supervised and they will never be like

1386
01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:03,080
Speaker 4: a loan with them. He's on my side one hundred percent,

1387
01:04:03,440 --> 01:04:06,240
Speaker 4: and apologized for taking his parents' side. He told me

1388
01:04:06,280 --> 01:04:08,600
Speaker 4: it was hard for him to believe his parents, who

1389
01:04:08,640 --> 01:04:11,680
Speaker 4: he'd always held in high esteem, were capable of behavior

1390
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:12,040
Speaker 4: like that.

1391
01:04:12,520 --> 01:04:13,360
Speaker 3: I cried with him.

1392
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:15,959
Speaker 4: I can't imagine what he's going through, having to cut

1393
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:18,520
Speaker 4: your parents out of your life like that. But I'm

1394
01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:21,000
Speaker 4: glad he's on my side. We'll be going for a

1395
01:04:21,000 --> 01:04:24,440
Speaker 4: few sessions of counseling together, and I'm hoping to persuade

1396
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:26,880
Speaker 4: him to go individually too, to handle the hole cutting

1397
01:04:26,920 --> 01:04:30,040
Speaker 4: his parents off situation. The next day, he booked a

1398
01:04:30,040 --> 01:04:32,360
Speaker 4: hotel room for the two of us, asked me to

1399
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:35,439
Speaker 4: spend the day doing whatever I wanted, just to lay

1400
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:38,480
Speaker 4: back and order room service. He then organized for cleaners

1401
01:04:38,480 --> 01:04:40,840
Speaker 4: to clean our apartment so I wouldn't have to do anything.

1402
01:04:41,280 --> 01:04:43,160
Speaker 4: He even got the carpets steam cleaned.

1403
01:04:43,280 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 3: I was amazed.

1404
01:04:45,240 --> 01:04:48,480
Speaker 4: Aw, you know, getting those carpets steam clean. That was

1405
01:04:48,480 --> 01:04:51,360
Speaker 4: that extra little bit of browning points he needed right there.

1406
01:04:51,360 --> 01:04:55,760
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, oh yeah, goes steam clean the carpet buttins.

1407
01:04:56,200 --> 01:04:58,040
Speaker 3: Yeah. I forgive him. I think.

1408
01:05:00,880 --> 01:05:04,440
Speaker 4: The room service was amazing. I'm a bit sad about

1409
01:05:04,440 --> 01:05:07,840
Speaker 4: having to cook now. Uhha. We're now firmly back home

1410
01:05:07,880 --> 01:05:09,560
Speaker 4: and it's good to be here just the two of

1411
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:12,680
Speaker 4: us as for his parents. They've flown to stay with

1412
01:05:12,760 --> 01:05:16,440
Speaker 4: his aunt Sundra, in my view, the best place for them,

1413
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:20,120
Speaker 4: because she takes absolutely no bs at all. He was

1414
01:05:20,160 --> 01:05:22,160
Speaker 4: going to call her and let her know what happened,

1415
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:24,760
Speaker 4: but she ended up calling him the night his parents

1416
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:28,760
Speaker 4: landed there, asking why we had sent them. He told

1417
01:05:28,760 --> 01:05:31,240
Speaker 4: her exactly what happened, told her not to let them

1418
01:05:31,280 --> 01:05:34,360
Speaker 4: spread rubbish against me, and she told him she'd take

1419
01:05:34,400 --> 01:05:37,280
Speaker 4: care of it well. He also called a few of

1420
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:39,600
Speaker 4: his close cousins to let them know what happened. So

1421
01:05:39,720 --> 01:05:42,120
Speaker 4: now if his parents try to drive his family against us,

1422
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:46,120
Speaker 4: they can't. She called up again last night, telling us

1423
01:05:46,120 --> 01:05:48,520
Speaker 4: how frustrated they were that no one seemed.

1424
01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:49,160
Speaker 3: To sympathize with them.

1425
01:05:49,840 --> 01:05:51,880
Speaker 4: Jack told me that he had heard his mom screaming

1426
01:05:51,880 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 4: in the background about the devil her son had married,

1427
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:57,040
Speaker 4: and Sandra yelled back at her, you're the devil.

1428
01:05:57,360 --> 01:06:01,880
Speaker 5: Hold your tongue all right, Sandra, go sandrug.

1429
01:06:01,920 --> 01:06:03,919
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

1430
01:06:05,040 --> 01:06:07,200
Speaker 4: Apparently when my mother in law got married to my

1431
01:06:07,240 --> 01:06:10,040
Speaker 4: father in law, her mother in law expected her to

1432
01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:12,040
Speaker 4: wait hand and foot on her and do all the

1433
01:06:12,160 --> 01:06:15,160
Speaker 4: chores and so on. Kind of explains why his father

1434
01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:18,240
Speaker 4: didn't say anything either. He's been used to his mother,

1435
01:06:18,480 --> 01:06:22,520
Speaker 4: Jack's grandma, treating his wife Jack's mom the same way,

1436
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:24,800
Speaker 4: so he didn't blink an eye when his wife yelled

1437
01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:27,919
Speaker 4: those things at me. I actually sometimes feel a little

1438
01:06:27,960 --> 01:06:30,040
Speaker 4: sorry for his mom, being married to someone who let

1439
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:31,000
Speaker 4: them be treated that way.

1440
01:06:31,440 --> 01:06:32,080
Speaker 3: I hope that his.

1441
01:06:32,120 --> 01:06:35,320
Speaker 4: Parents spending time with Sandra will knock some sense into

1442
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:38,360
Speaker 4: them and they'll understand that unless they apologize, they won't

1443
01:06:38,360 --> 01:06:42,640
Speaker 4: have anyone to support them. And by the way, you

1444
01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:46,800
Speaker 4: can fully support us by listening to full episodes with

1445
01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:52,480
Speaker 4: stories just like this on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, wherever

1446
01:06:52,560 --> 01:06:56,120
Speaker 4: you listen to podcasts, just search Okay story Time and

1447
01:06:56,160 --> 01:07:00,200
Speaker 4: you've got the entire world in the poem hand.

1448
01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:01,000
Speaker 2: Plea, sir.

1449
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:04,720
Speaker 4: Oh, And we spoke to my parents as well and

1450
01:07:04,760 --> 01:07:07,400
Speaker 4: cleared things up with them. I think they consider Jack

1451
01:07:07,480 --> 01:07:10,480
Speaker 4: more of a son now than they did before. And

1452
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:14,080
Speaker 4: while we've both thanked my brother several times, we've called

1453
01:07:14,120 --> 01:07:16,120
Speaker 4: him over the next weekend and we're going to be

1454
01:07:16,200 --> 01:07:19,360
Speaker 4: taking him out to a great dinner. I'm making him

1455
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:21,360
Speaker 4: lots of food he likes to take back with him.

1456
01:07:21,600 --> 01:07:23,680
Speaker 4: If you have any other suggestions on how to thank him,

1457
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:29,040
Speaker 4: let me know. Okay, so that's everything. We're now going

1458
01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:31,960
Speaker 4: to go binge watch doctor who would order pizza? Thanks

1459
01:07:31,960 --> 01:07:32,720
Speaker 4: again for.

1460
01:07:32,760 --> 01:07:35,640
Speaker 3: All your replies. Nice and that is the end. What

1461
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:37,520
Speaker 3: a beautiful ending. That's right, yes,