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Speaker 1: Okay, so we're on the phone again, which is again

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Speaker 1: it's a little bit of a buzz kill, but you

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Speaker 1: know what, we're gonna show up anyway. Yeah, we're here.

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Speaker 1: The thing is is I actually got a negative test result,

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Speaker 1: and so I don't think that I'm of any danger

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Speaker 1: to you. Um, and I've been back at work and everything.

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Speaker 1: But my boyfriend has it now, oh my well, and

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Speaker 1: and full disclosure, I did say, hey, do you want

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Speaker 1: to do this in person today? So I was willing.

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Speaker 1: And the problem is so he has it. So now

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Speaker 1: we're out at his farm isolating because it's just like,

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Speaker 1: why the hell are you going to stay in the city.

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Speaker 1: I've been going back in and working some um. But yeah, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I was going to tell you about what happened last

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Speaker 1: night because I have no idea what's going to come

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Speaker 1: out of my mouth because I have been up since

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Speaker 1: three thirty. Um. But I was laying there and all

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Speaker 1: of a sudden I heard and I'm like, la, there

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Speaker 1: a second, because I like woke up, you know, in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the night. You're like, what the fund

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Speaker 1: is that you know? Your beep? And it was the

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Speaker 1: smoke detector. Why does a smoke detector always run out

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Speaker 1: of batteries in the middle of the middle night, every

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Speaker 1: fucking time, every time, And like he was asleep in

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Speaker 1: like a deep sleep, and I felt really guilty being like, hey,

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Speaker 1: can you go up change the smoke detector battery? And

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Speaker 1: so I didn't know where it was, and I'm just

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Speaker 1: like did I started turning my sound machine up so loud.

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Speaker 1: I mean, it's literally my ears were hurting because the

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Speaker 1: sound machine was so loud next to me. But I

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Speaker 1: just was like trying to john out that noise. But

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Speaker 1: you know, it's like when you know the noise is there,

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Speaker 1: you cannot not hear it. Like it was just my dog,

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Speaker 1: one of my dogs is terrified of that noise. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I it's like I have to deal with it.

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Speaker 1: And in my house because the living room is two stories,

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Speaker 1: no matter which one it is, it echoes, so you

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Speaker 1: can't really tell which one. It is like a game

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Speaker 1: of cat mouse. You're like you have to like wait

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Speaker 1: until you're certain which one. And it's like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it's three o'clock in the morning. I just want to

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Speaker 1: go back to sleep totally. So at five thirty he

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Speaker 1: actually got up to p and I was like, yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm a guy's awake, and I got up and then

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Speaker 1: I heard him kind of I was gonna let him

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Speaker 1: come back in and then be like, hey, babe, can

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Speaker 1: you go check that some? I mean that uh see,

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Speaker 1: you don't even I can't even talk. Um that smoked

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Speaker 1: to everything. But he heard it. So then I hear

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Speaker 1: him rummaging around trying to get it off. He comes

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Speaker 1: back in and I'm like, you heard that, and I

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Speaker 1: was like yes, I'm like it's been going on since

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Speaker 1: three thirty and it's just like he was just so

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Speaker 1: he was like why is because I said, it's always

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Speaker 1: at night and he was like, who invented this? There

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Speaker 1: has to be a better way, right, Like how do

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Speaker 1: we time it up so that it's not happening at night?

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Speaker 1: Like it can't obviously be plugged in because that would

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Speaker 1: defeat the purpose. But it's just like there has to

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Speaker 1: be something so somewhat out there are actually hard wired.

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Speaker 1: They're building houses now where they're hard wired, but if

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Speaker 1: the house is on fire, um, I mean I don't know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's why I guess you're not the person who built it, right,

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Speaker 1: But well, they're not fire detectors they're detectors. True. True,

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Speaker 1: So it's you know, once it's on fire, you're you're

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Speaker 1: probably anyway, right, that's a good point. Yeah, that's crazy.

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Speaker 1: It's there. It's literally the worst sound in the world too.

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Speaker 1: It's just awful. And it's like, yeah, so I'll probabviously

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Speaker 1: it like eight tonight, but what a sweet girlfriend you are,

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Speaker 1: um by, you know, just like strapping it on and

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Speaker 1: going back to ben Speaking of COVID, my my neighbor

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Speaker 1: has it, and so I'm not allowed to see them

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Speaker 1: stay away. Yeah, I mean, you know. The interesting thing

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Speaker 1: is like, and I'm not at all trying to downplay

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Speaker 1: this pandemic because it's very serious, but our experience was

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Speaker 1: pretty mild, and so like there's this weird relief in

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Speaker 1: a way that I feel, which obviously I know, I

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Speaker 1: s don't need to wear a mask, I don't need

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Speaker 1: to be very cautious in all of these things. But

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Speaker 1: like me, I think you can get it again, but

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Speaker 1: your likelihood is less, and so there's this like weird

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Speaker 1: like piece I didn't even realize I was carrying around

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Speaker 1: so much anxiety about getting it, you know, so like

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Speaker 1: it's like, had it all right? Been there? Done that

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Speaker 1: because you were hiding on the farm too, So it's

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Speaker 1: like I think your anxiety was probably lower because you

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Speaker 1: were being so incredibly careful. Total, Well, it was like

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Speaker 1: the second I went back to Nashville but got it

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Speaker 1: of course. Well and my neighbor like her husband hasn't

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Speaker 1: tested positive, so but he basically they told him not

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Speaker 1: to go to work. Yeah, well he's been exposed. Either way,

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Speaker 1: he's been exposed. So if there's any symptoms, he has

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Speaker 1: to quarantine. Quarantine for fourteen days after the first symptom.

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Speaker 1: Quarantine quarantine if you all need because like they can't

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Speaker 1: leaves to do anything. I know that was us. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we had to get people to deliver groceries and all

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Speaker 1: kinds of stuff. Actually this post that we ordered postmates

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Speaker 1: one night and like, um, I was trying to get

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Speaker 1: her to he was on a conference call and so

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Speaker 1: I was trying to get her to leave it at

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Speaker 1: the door, but she started to walk up and so

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Speaker 1: I wanted to give her fore warning to just drop

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Speaker 1: it and not knock on the door and like whatever,

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Speaker 1: And I have my mask on, but I opened it

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Speaker 1: and like got panicked, and I go, hey, can you

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Speaker 1: just drop it right? Here and she was like wait what,

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Speaker 1: and I go, I have COVID and she she literally

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Speaker 1: stopped in her tracks and was like backing up. It's

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Speaker 1: like people are so scared of you when you have it.

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Speaker 1: It was that was actually the hardest part for me.

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Speaker 1: And I just said this a million times now, but

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Speaker 1: the isolation and the way that people react to you

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Speaker 1: when you actually have it, The emotional toll that that takes,

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Speaker 1: the mental toll that that takes was for me way

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Speaker 1: worse than the physical stuff. It was crazy. Um, but yes,

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Speaker 1: I think they're trying to kind of lower the stigma.

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Speaker 1: I've been telling people around that about that too. Was like,

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Speaker 1: just be gentle with how you react to people, because

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Speaker 1: like you already feel like shit and you already have

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Speaker 1: to isolate alone, you know, like I had. I was

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Speaker 1: in the same house as my boyfriend, but we were

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Speaker 1: not near each other because we didn't know it was

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Speaker 1: positive for like a couple of days of our probably

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Speaker 1: like five days of me having it, and so um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's just really isolating. It's sad. Anyway, I digress, but um,

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Speaker 1: we wanted to start this week. We've been going through

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Speaker 1: the inbox and we love getting all the feedback from

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Speaker 1: you guys. We have some questions we're gonna answer because

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Speaker 1: we do like to follow through with that when you

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Speaker 1: guys send them in, so they're stacking up, so we're

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Speaker 1: gonna go ahead and pick We picked out some of

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Speaker 1: our favorite ones and we're gonna go through those today. Um,

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Speaker 1: but we did want to start chip. I haven't even

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Speaker 1: told you about these yet, but we've gotten a lot

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Speaker 1: of just like positive feedback from people, and there was

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Speaker 1: two that I wanted to read because they were addressing

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Speaker 1: some of the things we've talked about. This one comes

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Speaker 1: from Kelsey. It's actually Dr Kelsey John and she is

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Speaker 1: referencing the podcast we did about um the fluid nature

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Speaker 1: of sexuality that you know, we're feeling, and I thought

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Speaker 1: she has really interesting points. So here's what she said.

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Speaker 1: She said, Hey, Kelly, I wanted to share some thoughts.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually a gender and Native Studies professor and we

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Speaker 1: have these discussions in our classes. I like that your

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Speaker 1: podcast reflects lots of feminist ideas for popular audiences on

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Speaker 1: the Sliding Scale podcast. I think it's socially acceptable for

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Speaker 1: women to experiment because masculine social gender identities are built

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Speaker 1: in the aspect of masculinity, that is dominance. In gender studies,

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Speaker 1: we have we have this concept called hetero patriarchy, meaning

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Speaker 1: that the societal system privileges both heterosexuality and patriarchy, meaning

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Speaker 1: men have power over women and the to uphold each other.

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Speaker 1: This social system causes lots of hurts for anyone who

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Speaker 1: doesn't fit in i e. A powerful woman, a trans person,

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Speaker 1: or a gay person, et cetera. So if a woman experiments,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't challenge the hierarchy of societal power in the

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Speaker 1: same way because in forginately, patriarchy and male dominance through

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Speaker 1: sexual and gender violence is built into societal fabric, which

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Speaker 1: she actually said she thought we reflected this connection sentiment

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Speaker 1: when I said, um that I felt safer making out

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Speaker 1: with a woman rather than men at parties, which I remember.

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Speaker 1: I said that like when we're back in the day

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Speaker 1: when I was wild and crazy. Um so, she said. Lastly,

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Speaker 1: most Native cultures were gender Most Native cultures were gender

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Speaker 1: sexual fluid before colonization. Lots of communities called this two

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Speaker 1: spirit where gender nonconforming people are privileged in Native worldviews.

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Speaker 1: Native communities were actually some of the first people to

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Speaker 1: critique the gender and sexuality binary because it's not traditional

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Speaker 1: to us. I thought this was fascinating, fascinating, So really

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Speaker 1: I'm not that off with the making out with girls.

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Speaker 1: You're just vintage sexuality. But colonial, you're like pre colonial.

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Speaker 1: If there's one word that I would use to describe me,

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Speaker 1: it's colonial. It's just the first thing that pops from mind,

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Speaker 1: like candle making you do right, the two spirit. I mean, anyway,

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Speaker 1: I thought it was just really interesting and it is such.

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Speaker 1: We were actually right on the money when we talked

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Speaker 1: about um men just like men not experimenting and the

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Speaker 1: reason being masculinity and dominance. You know that would remember

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Speaker 1: I said that, like it was it's this weird thing

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Speaker 1: just in my head for no reason that if I

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Speaker 1: thought that a man had experimented with another man, I

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Speaker 1: would be thrown by it, just because it doesn't seem

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Speaker 1: extremely masculine to me, which is really weird, which is

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Speaker 1: a breakdown of the patriarchy, which just proves that like

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Speaker 1: you've been programmed to think, Oh, I'm so programmed, are

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Speaker 1: you kidding? You know what I mean? It's I mean,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm constantly having to reprogram my brain,

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Speaker 1: just as a woman in general, of what is normal,

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Speaker 1: what is right for me, what is what is programming,

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Speaker 1: and what is like what I actually want? You know,

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Speaker 1: it's really really interesting. I mean not to make this

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Speaker 1: at all political, but even um, during the r n C,

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Speaker 1: I don't even know her name. Um, this is a

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Speaker 1: woman who I want to smack. Said, in a godly system,

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Speaker 1: the husband gets the final vote. She's basically saying, like

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Speaker 1: she said, Um, she wants just one vote for her household.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. And in the godly system, the husband

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Speaker 1: gets the final set is what she said. A woman

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Speaker 1: said that that is that's PA programming. Definitely would not

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Speaker 1: be friends with her, and look whatever, people are entitled

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Speaker 1: to their opinion, that is not the way my household

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Speaker 1: will be running this that this will not forget her name.

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Speaker 1: She also used to run Planned Parenthood and now is

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Speaker 1: like an anti abortion person, so of course actually makes sense. Um,

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Speaker 1: uh my computer be weird. Oh anyway, I appreciated that

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Speaker 1: email from Dr John. She said, I hope this is

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Speaker 1: this was helpful. PS. I think you'd be a great

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Speaker 1: Women's and genders studies student. Actually, when I first read

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Speaker 1: it thought she said that I would be like an

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Speaker 1: interesting study for them and I was like, God, you

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Speaker 1: make out with one girl on girl. I like that.

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Speaker 1: And anyway, okay, so now this is this one comes

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Speaker 1: from Sarah. I think it's really already. This is gonna

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Speaker 1: you're gonna really enjoy this one tip. This is why

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Speaker 1: I had to read this. Hi Kelly, I'm a therapist

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Speaker 1: and I listened to your podcast. I love it and

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Speaker 1: love how you take this stigma away with so many

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Speaker 1: issues by talking so freely. And one of the most

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Speaker 1: recent at Casual episodes you commented about on like online

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Speaker 1: sex therapy certification. Remember we said should we get certified?

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Speaker 1: She said, there is this program that has a lecture

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Speaker 1: series that goes towards certification. I think you might have

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Speaker 1: to have another degree to actually be certified, but maybe

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Speaker 1: you could fall under the education header. But I think

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Speaker 1: that's successive for what you need. However, you might be

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Speaker 1: interested in virtually attending some of the training, so I

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Speaker 1: linked it below. I also thought you might be interested

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Speaker 1: in another resource. Rosie is an app that specifically addressed

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Speaker 1: low libido and sexual dysfunction in women, and it's pretty

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Speaker 1: awesome to have as a resource. I'm sure Lindsay Harper's

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Speaker 1: who's an O, B G, I N and the founder

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Speaker 1: would also be happy to come on a podcast at

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Speaker 1: some point to talk about it. Let me know what

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Speaker 1: I can help facilitate that. So if you guys are

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Speaker 1: interested in low libido and sexual dysfunction for women, let

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Speaker 1: me know, because I actually thought that would be a

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Speaker 1: really interesting topic and maybe we could have Dr Harper

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Speaker 1: on to talk about that. But we did address that.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't remember if we addressed it in women or

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Speaker 1: in men. Do you remember, Chip, I care if we

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Speaker 1: did it and women. I mean we I definitely, like,

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Speaker 1: is gonna sound so rude, but we were. We talked

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Speaker 1: about dryness, So I wonder if in that conversation we

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Speaker 1: ever referenced like just like low libido. Yeah, I mean

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Speaker 1: we're talking. We talked about like women being tired and

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Speaker 1: you know, not wanting to to you know, fulfill that

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Speaker 1: that role I'm doing air quotes that role at the

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Speaker 1: end of the night and just sort of be a

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Speaker 1: be there for her husband. We've talked about that, but

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Speaker 1: I don't know if it was ever because her libido

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Speaker 1: was low, it was just her depth. Yeah, all joking aside.

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Speaker 1: Ship made that comment last week, and I thought it

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Speaker 1: was really funny. In the podcast, The What podcast got

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Speaker 1: a lot of messages and we're going to get to

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Speaker 1: some of those, well one of those specifically later. Um.

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Speaker 1: It did get a lot of positive feedback to the

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Speaker 1: chip Jes, so you know, I got a lot of

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Speaker 1: d m s and we got some emails to this.

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Speaker 1: One's from Brianna. She says, one of the things that

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Speaker 1: absolutely love is that you guys always address topics fabulously.

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Speaker 1: I may not always agree with everything. That's the beauty

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Speaker 1: of everyone being able to have their own opinion. But

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Speaker 1: I always love the fact that you Hey man, sister,

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Speaker 1: I always love the fact that you address some hard topics.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes you'd give me a different perspective. Sometimes I learned

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Speaker 1: something new about a topic I didn't know about. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: I mean, And isn't that the whole point? Like I

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Speaker 1: know that, like it's us and listeners, But this is

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Speaker 1: supposed to be a conversation, you know, it's if this

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Speaker 1: isn't just you and me spouting all our opinions as

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Speaker 1: the gospel, Like it's I love that, she she said, like, Hey,

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Speaker 1: sometimes I look at something differently after hearing what you say,

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Speaker 1: And that's the whole point. Of communication and you, you

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Speaker 1: and I have talked about this over and over whatever,

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Speaker 1: But we try to make a big point here that

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Speaker 1: we are not experts, were not sex therapists, were not

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Speaker 1: therapists in general. We're not, you know, trying to say

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Speaker 1: that our voice is the end all be all. We're

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Speaker 1: just give in our opinions, just like you would ask

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Speaker 1: your friend for an opinion. And we're just having hard

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Speaker 1: conversations that a lot of people don't want to talk

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Speaker 1: about and trying to normalize them and taking the stigma

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Speaker 1: away like it was said earlier. Um, and trust me,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure I've given my friends bad advice, you know, Like, well,

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Speaker 1: I always try to give the best advice or the

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Speaker 1: best thought, like I'm sometimes todays I'm like, I don't

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Speaker 1: even know if I know the alpha that so, but

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Speaker 1: I always approach things with heart and honesty. So that's

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Speaker 1: that's what I bring. That's what I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to bring to this right well, And also I

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Speaker 1: just want to say this too, like we're stating opinions.

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Speaker 1: I'm not like holding a gun to anyone's head being

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Speaker 1: like this is how you should live your life, Like

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Speaker 1: this is like what your experience should be too. It's

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Speaker 1: just like, here's been my experience and if you can

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Speaker 1: relate to that, cool. If you can take anything away

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Speaker 1: from it, cool, If you disagree with it, cool, Like

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Speaker 1: it doesn't matter. It's this is we're just talking about

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Speaker 1: what we think um is interesting and stating an opinion,

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Speaker 1: and we try to give both sides as much as possible,

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Speaker 1: and I think we actually do so I feel, you know,

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Speaker 1: and actual people like, I'm sure we're going to let

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Speaker 1: somebody have it next. Well, okay, nice transition. So basically

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Speaker 1: the reason we're like sort of saying this is, you know,

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Speaker 1: obviously last week in the Whop episode where we talked

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Speaker 1: about Cardi B and Megan the Stallion's new song whop Um,

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Speaker 1: I told you, oh is it? I'm like, whop wop wop.

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Speaker 1: She says, whop in the song I would say, asked,

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Speaker 1: has an ask? So I say, okay, well, I mean

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Speaker 1: that makes sense for you that you would have a

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Speaker 1: whap you know, like a like a dap um. So

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Speaker 1: basically I told you guys that it was one of

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Speaker 1: the most polarizing things that I've ever said on my Instagram.

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Speaker 1: I mean shot singly because a lot of ship has

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Speaker 1: gone down on my Instagram, but so many people were

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Speaker 1: just like so hardcore one way or so hardcore the

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Speaker 1: other way, and most people were just saying it like

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Speaker 1: their opinion, like what we were just saying. But there

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Speaker 1: was this one and she would not stop on me

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Speaker 1: and I just for some reason, you know, I've gotten

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Speaker 1: pretty good. Like the block feature on Instagram is my

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Speaker 1: favorite tool, and I've used it a ship ton this

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Speaker 1: year because there's just no use, you know, Like I

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Speaker 1: used to engage sometimes in trolls and like, because they

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Speaker 1: just know exactly what to say to you, because they

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Speaker 1: always know exactly where to target that hurts the most.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes you just can't help yourself but to fire back,

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Speaker 1: you know, especially catch me on some p MS days

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Speaker 1: and it's like I cannot stop myself. But I just learned,

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Speaker 1: like it doesn't do any good. There's the more you engage,

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Speaker 1: the more hate you get, and it's best if you

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Speaker 1: can to just ignore it, block them whatever. So this lady, though,

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Speaker 1: I mean she's messaged me before, honestly because we had

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Speaker 1: some like stuff in the back ground and like seemingly

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Speaker 1: very normal. Also she told me she's a therapist, so

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Speaker 1: like I think. I guess I put therapists on a

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Speaker 1: higher pedestal, and I just think that they I kind

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Speaker 1: of expect them to control their behavior a little more.

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Speaker 1: But she went in on us about this whop our

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Speaker 1: wap whatever. I'm pretty sure it's whop actually um podcast,

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Speaker 1: And so I'm gonna read what she said and then

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Speaker 1: we're going to talk about this. She said, Oh, no, empowering.

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Speaker 1: I just can't right now, too much negativity in the

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Speaker 1: damn world to educate people. Again, if people are stupid

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Speaker 1: enough to think that this is actually a way for

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Speaker 1: women to empower themselves, it's absolutely sad and so messed up,

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Speaker 1: and my mind does not have the mental capacity to

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Speaker 1: properly verbalize why. It's like how when a black oriole

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Speaker 1: were called the inn words by white slave owners and

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Speaker 1: pieces of crap and then tried, I tried to feel

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Speaker 1: like they had some power black people calling themselves the

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Speaker 1: inn word. Or when young girls were molested in rates

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Speaker 1: and they became extremely promiscuous and started having sex for

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Speaker 1: money and using men just like they were used, they

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Speaker 1: felt better. Bullshit. As a therapist, this does not heal

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Speaker 1: the wounds, the brokenness, the damage. It perpetuates it are

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Speaker 1: I'm mad. Fuck, I'm mad, but I have no more

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Speaker 1: energy to explain this crap anymore to people like you

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Speaker 1: with a platform making it worse. Oh, I'm sorry, I

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Speaker 1: thought it was over. I just realized this. Wait, yeah,

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Speaker 1: looks the points about like the N word and like

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Speaker 1: the sex work and stuff like that, We're not that

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Speaker 1: is not the solution, but I understand the thought behind

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Speaker 1: why those things happen, you know. Yeah, I mean and that,

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Speaker 1: and that's what we were saying. I guess. I'm just like,

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Speaker 1: literally do you even just reading it again? I'm like, wait, what,

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Speaker 1: let's talk about a rap song? What are you talking

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Speaker 1: about here? Like, I just don't. I think what we

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Speaker 1: were trying to do was just talk about the phenomenon

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Speaker 1: that this has taken over like on our in our culture,

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Speaker 1: and how much controversy it's created, and like everyone's entitled

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Speaker 1: to their opinion, and if you don't like it, actually

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Speaker 1: understand why it's aggressive. You know it's a lot, but

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Speaker 1: like to go so hardcore about it just felt it

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Speaker 1: felt way over the top. And then also when she

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Speaker 1: starts saying that I'm doing bad things, you know, I

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Speaker 1: think I don't appreciate. I really do try to use

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Speaker 1: my platform for the most good that I can, and

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Speaker 1: I do try to educate as much as I can

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Speaker 1: and talk openly about, you know, my my life and

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Speaker 1: my imperfections and all this stuff. And it's hard. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: you're just not going to please everybody, and I do

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Speaker 1: the best that I can to keep it positive. But

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Speaker 1: I was just like, hold up a second, Like I

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Speaker 1: am not sitting here saying that this is the end all,

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Speaker 1: be all and everyone needs to think the way that

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Speaker 1: I do. I was just like, this is how I

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Speaker 1: feel about it and it doesn't offend me, and blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah, And like the other thing is, is I

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Speaker 1: understand trauma, and I understand um everything she's saying in this,

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Speaker 1: Like I have a lot of my own trauma and

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Speaker 1: I've done a lot of therapy around it, and it

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Speaker 1: just like was so um shortsighted and un educated to me.

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Speaker 1: Her her response like it was just she wasn't even

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Speaker 1: seeing the bigger picture, you know. Well she she also

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Speaker 1: admitted that she wasn't even articulating what she was thinking.

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Speaker 1: So rather than reacting, why don't you take a deep

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Speaker 1: breath and articulate your point rather than just throwing daggers.

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Speaker 1: It's counterproductive. I couldn't help myself, I responded, which I

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Speaker 1: shouldn't have engaged. But did you did? I said, you

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Speaker 1: are a therapist, and you're attacking me because I have

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Speaker 1: a different opinion than you. I'm entitled to my opinion

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Speaker 1: and so are you. But I'm not telling you that

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Speaker 1: you can't have yours. Sounds like you may need to

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00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:09,080
Speaker 1: do some work of your own. Pieces anyway, I really

405
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Speaker 1: want to read her handle because I think I'm still

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Speaker 1: pissed about it, But I am just going to send

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Speaker 1: her some love and light and also just reiterate that

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00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:23,880
Speaker 1: we are stating opinions here. Um. But this was sort

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Speaker 1: of the topic we wanted to talk about because it

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Speaker 1: kind of goes into a sex and dating question or

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Speaker 1: topic that we've got uh some emails about or yeah,

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Speaker 1: text messages whatever about um. But it's the keyboard way

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Speaker 1: you're kind of thing, or like keyboard courage is actually

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Speaker 1: the name of it. But how people I mean sit

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Speaker 1: behind their phones their computers and they are so confident

416
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Speaker 1: to say things that they would never say in real life.

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Speaker 1: Like I guarantee you if this woman saw me on

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Speaker 1: the street. She's not coming up to me to say this.

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Speaker 1: She's gonna talk about me behind my back maybe, but

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Speaker 1: there's no chance she's walking up to me to say, listen,

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Speaker 1: I listened to that podcast of yours, and here's what

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Speaker 1: I think, Like she just wouldn't. That has not been

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Speaker 1: my experience with these kind of people, But the negativity

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Speaker 1: that they spit is so insane, Like I mean, I've

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Speaker 1: mentioned this a couple of times, but this year I've

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Speaker 1: experienced it to a whole another level. And it's literally bullying,

427
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 1: Like it's it's just insanity that happens and the ship

428
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: that people say and I have not understood. I'm like,

429
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 1: how do you have the confidence to say that? Yeah,

430
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,359
Speaker 1: I mean it's because there's so few repercussions when you

431
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 1: just do it like exactly. I mean, I'm always blown

432
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 1: away by the nastiest things that gets out online to

433
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:49,760
Speaker 1: artists or yeah, you know, influencers or whatever. Like it's

434
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:54,440
Speaker 1: always from profiles that like don't have a picture, aren't following,

435
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,919
Speaker 1: never posted. So it's like I feel like people have

436
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,399
Speaker 1: these like fake profiles that they can just go in

437
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:05,320
Speaker 1: and just to be I'm sure I think there's there's that,

438
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,879
Speaker 1: and then yeah, they're always like the private accounts or

439
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,119
Speaker 1: you can't see anything and I'm like, open up your page,

440
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:14,400
Speaker 1: let me comment on a couple of your pictures. Yeah,

441
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:17,119
Speaker 1: they're either not real people. They're like they're like the

442
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 1: people in your life who want to say the negative

443
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 1: things that they create this fake profiles, or they're just

444
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:25,720
Speaker 1: people who don't have a life with their own. Like

445
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,080
Speaker 1: I thought to myself, I was like, if you spend

446
00:24:28,160 --> 00:24:31,760
Speaker 1: so much of your time hating me, like, that's a

447
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 1: really sad about your life. Actually, like that you can

448
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 1: spend so much time emailing me or commenting on some

449
00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:43,359
Speaker 1: stupid picture or just giving that much of a funk

450
00:24:43,359 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 1: about anyone else's life or what they're doing at all,

451
00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:49,879
Speaker 1: to me is like a sad statement about your life.

452
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,120
Speaker 1: But there is an actual term for this. It's called

453
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:55,200
Speaker 1: keyboard courage. Like it's a real thing, and it says

454
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 1: a quality or characteristic displayed by a person through the

455
00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 1: witt written word that this person would not or ordinarily possess.

456
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:08,720
Speaker 1: Another definition is the confrontational attitude exhibited by someone via

457
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,720
Speaker 1: an anonymous injury to an internet web page or posting.

458
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,440
Speaker 1: The third one says an attitude demonstrated by someone when

459
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,119
Speaker 1: they realize that actions taken by them or words written

460
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,920
Speaker 1: by them across a computer connection will have little if

461
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 1: any personal repercussions. And lastly, a false bravery possessed by

462
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,640
Speaker 1: an individual who does not possess the true quality in person.

463
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 1: And so we're talking about it right now and like

464
00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 1: a bullying um uh the keyboard warrior typeway. But what

465
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:42,679
Speaker 1: you've been getting some feedback about is on the dating sites,

466
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 1: people saying uh, very sexual like crude things early on

467
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 1: via the actual app right yeah, or via so you

468
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: know the instances that I brought up. I have a

469
00:25:56,640 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: friend who is, UM, she's been using dating sites and UM,

470
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: I mean to to some degree of success. And and

471
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:08,880
Speaker 1: partly you know, she's also like maybe she's just trying

472
00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:12,919
Speaker 1: to like call some um some some ideas for a

473
00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 1: rom com that she's gonna write later in her life.

474
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,760
Speaker 1: But she she was seeing this guy and it was

475
00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:22,679
Speaker 1: a very new thing. Um, she had had sex with

476
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 1: him because this one she was like, she knew from

477
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,280
Speaker 1: the get go that it wasn't going to be a

478
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 1: long term thing, but she was fun and he was cute,

479
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:33,679
Speaker 1: so she decided to sleep with him, and she had

480
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 1: sex with him a couple of times, and one day

481
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 1: she um, she received it now my phone blocked. She

482
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,000
Speaker 1: received a text message from him out of the blue

483
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:51,320
Speaker 1: that red, Hey, I wanted to take your temperature if

484
00:26:51,320 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 1: you'd be open to fucking another guy while I watched

485
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:58,400
Speaker 1: I mean bold and um. She wrote back, I can't.

486
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:02,480
Speaker 1: I can't tell of your kids. What did he say?

487
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 1: And he said, I mean well, she said, I can't

488
00:27:05,320 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: tell your kidding, and then she added something like, you know,

489
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,239
Speaker 1: call me a prude, but I'm kind of like a

490
00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:14,119
Speaker 1: monogamous girl. And he wrote back, I mean, I was

491
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,639
Speaker 1: gonna let you pick the guy. I'm sure there's plenty

492
00:27:16,680 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: of guys who want to suck you. He's like, He's like,

493
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:22,199
Speaker 1: oh no, no, you mustn't. Must here to me, I

494
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,600
Speaker 1: was gonna let you pick the guy. She she sent

495
00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 1: it to me while I was actually um. We were

496
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: on a Zoom meeting together, and she saw my face

497
00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:35,119
Speaker 1: react to the text. I thought I was going to

498
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 1: fall out of my chair. I just don't understand having

499
00:27:40,359 --> 00:27:43,760
Speaker 1: that kind of courage to ask somebody that, like, I

500
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 1: get it if you're like in a relationship and like

501
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 1: you're feeling like you need to spice things up and

502
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 1: you really know each other. Hm. But to do that,

503
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:57,680
Speaker 1: like I mean to me, it's actually kind of insulting

504
00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:01,919
Speaker 1: because there's almost like a a hint of like, I

505
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,919
Speaker 1: have no respect for you, you know. And granted she

506
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,120
Speaker 1: had made the choice that this was casual for her,

507
00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:11,439
Speaker 1: but like, still, I don't I don't think she probably

508
00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 1: told him by the way, I'm just sucking you know.

509
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,919
Speaker 1: I mean, well, I guess she got her answer on

510
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,240
Speaker 1: if he's like a person she wants to be with

511
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 1: or not, if she was at all debating. It was

512
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:26,280
Speaker 1: interesting when I was we were talking about this earlier,

513
00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,000
Speaker 1: I googled it just to see what would come up,

514
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 1: and like, there was this whole article on the Washington

515
00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:34,720
Speaker 1: Post that was talking about how dating apps have have

516
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 1: actually maybe inhibited people's ability to, you know, to communicate

517
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 1: in real life or to flirt in real life. And

518
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,040
Speaker 1: I was thinking about it. I'm like, you think, like

519
00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 1: the fact that you have like hung out with a

520
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 1: girl a couple of times, and you're like, hey, by

521
00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 1: the way, would you be cool with like fucking another

522
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:54,200
Speaker 1: guy and letting me watch? Like that is just so bold,

523
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 1: Like you're saying it's just like I can't I can't

524
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 1: imagine putting myself out there like that either, especially that

525
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,760
Speaker 1: early on, Like I think asking for what you need

526
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 1: sexually is already kind of intimidating a little bit, and

527
00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 1: so like to not know the person, I'm just like

528
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,920
Speaker 1: what I mean, it's just I wish I'm shook. Yeah

529
00:29:13,040 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah. Well, and then she got this message

530
00:29:18,400 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 1: and this was like same different guy. This is a

531
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 1: random like this is the first, the first thing that

532
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: someone said to her. Hey, you are like beyond beyond corteous.

533
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: Even having to read this, I love I love that.

534
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 1: Like he leads with like a big complimentary you are

535
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 1: like beyond beyond gorgeous. This maybe a kind of weird question,

536
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: but would you ever consider dominating? Guy? I would love

537
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:54,240
Speaker 1: to be your own personal slave? And he spelled slave wrong?

538
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 1: How do you spelled slave wrong? There were two ease

539
00:29:57,880 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 1: on it. I guess he was really excited and just

540
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 1: made Usually if I make a typho, it's on the

541
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,880
Speaker 1: last word of whatever I'm sending, because it's like you

542
00:30:06,240 --> 00:30:09,480
Speaker 1: send it and you're like it's not that wrong. Um,

543
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,719
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean, it's like he wants to be

544
00:30:11,720 --> 00:30:16,320
Speaker 1: her slave, like, Hi, how are you You know? Hi?

545
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 1: My name is Michael. Would you like to let me?

546
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 1: Would you like to dominate me? Again? I mean did

547
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:26,360
Speaker 1: she wrote back? No, she just didn't respond to that one.

548
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:34,960
Speaker 1: But I was just thinking, is that actually Michael? I

549
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:37,200
Speaker 1: don't even know what his name is. And that one,

550
00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 1: that one was sent at quarter to midnight? I can

551
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,720
Speaker 1: see the time, Like I always think about like these

552
00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:45,800
Speaker 1: people sitting behind these keyboards sending these nasty messages, like

553
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 1: are they turning themselves on and like jacking off? What

554
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 1: they do? It? It kind of probably up and how

555
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 1: many how many girls did you send that exact same

556
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 1: next message to? He didn't. He didn't use her name,

557
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 1: so he just said And it's like copy and pasting,

558
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 1: waiting for one to be like, fuck, yeah, I'll dominate you.

559
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,640
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's so interesting because we've had other

560
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:14,160
Speaker 1: friends on dating apps, which this absolutely terrifies me about that,

561
00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: Like I literally hope that my boyfriend has stay together

562
00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: so that I don't have to go with dating apps ever,

563
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,240
Speaker 1: because it's scary the way that people are and the

564
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:24,840
Speaker 1: way that our culture has become. I think it's become

565
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,760
Speaker 1: a lot more openly sexual as we've been talking about,

566
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 1: and like that is just so fascinating and disturbing to

567
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 1: me that people lead with that, like you're there's no

568
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:41,000
Speaker 1: like and this is just obviously my preference is I'm

569
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:44,640
Speaker 1: I want to get to know someone, and I'm myself

570
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:47,480
Speaker 1: a serial monogamous, Like I'm not just like out to

571
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:51,600
Speaker 1: have a bunch of casual sex, and so it's like disturbing.

572
00:31:51,640 --> 00:31:54,200
Speaker 1: I would be so turned off by that. But I

573
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 1: think a lot of people are like just DTF, like,

574
00:31:56,800 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 1: all right, cool, let's do it. Yeah, I mean it's look,

575
00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:04,720
Speaker 1: I mean, if you hit me at the right moment,

576
00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:06,960
Speaker 1: I don't know how I was wondering. I was actually

577
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:10,280
Speaker 1: going to ask you that. I you know, it's I

578
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 1: would definitely respond, just for the humor's sake of it,

579
00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 1: just to see where it goes, but whether or not

580
00:32:15,920 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 1: I um would follow through with something like that. I

581
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 1: also don't have any accent. I mean, he could have

582
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:27,720
Speaker 1: amazing here. I don't see his profile. All I see

583
00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 1: is the picture at the top of She just sent

584
00:32:29,520 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 1: me a screenshot of the message. So I'm like, not

585
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 1: working with like, with all the tools in the in

586
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:40,160
Speaker 1: the box, what you would be like maybe it was

587
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:44,120
Speaker 1: like super hot maybe or like actually sounded interesting In

588
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 1: this profile, all I see is like a kind of

589
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:50,239
Speaker 1: cute guy that's a real seems really creepy. Yeah, so

590
00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:52,400
Speaker 1: here's my next question. If you right back to a

591
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,520
Speaker 1: guy like that and you're like, maybe I'm interested, what

592
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: is your first question? Like when was your last STD test? Right?

593
00:32:58,760 --> 00:33:00,480
Speaker 1: Like when do you turn into a grown up? And

594
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 1: go wait, I mean that sounds like fun and all,

595
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:08,560
Speaker 1: but like how does that go? Yeah? I mean I

596
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 1: don't know my next I don't know if my next

597
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:13,920
Speaker 1: question would be that, but like I think eventually, like

598
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 1: it if it felt like it was like I'm like, oh,

599
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:22,440
Speaker 1: I'm actually considering this, then I would probably be like, okay,

600
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 1: these are some stipulation. You're like, I'm totally down to

601
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: dominate you if you wear a condom. He's like, I

602
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 1: need so call your doctor doctor immediately and facts me

603
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:39,560
Speaker 1: over the test results. Who facts is anymore? Who facts

604
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: is anymore? This is when you know, doctor sending my

605
00:33:43,440 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 1: doctor all medical records so he can read them with

606
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:50,160
Speaker 1: a professional I need to know what I'm dominating exactly.

607
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 1: But this is like the thing, It's like, could you

608
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,479
Speaker 1: imagine let's pretend like life was normal for a second,

609
00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:57,800
Speaker 1: there's no coronavirus, and you go out to a bar

610
00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:00,200
Speaker 1: and a guy walks up to you and he's like, hey, hey,

611
00:34:00,240 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 1: what's your name? Or hey you have pretty eyes or

612
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,520
Speaker 1: whatever some guy's leading line is. And then the next

613
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,799
Speaker 1: guy walks up to you and he's like, hey, would

614
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 1: you ever be interested in dominating me? Like nobody would

615
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 1: do that literally right out of his mouth. I wonder

616
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:18,120
Speaker 1: if there's like a fun reality showing this, like, well

617
00:34:18,120 --> 00:34:22,320
Speaker 1: there is that show the Pickup Artist, do you remember that?

618
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:28,080
Speaker 1: But would they like insult you? You know, well there's

619
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 1: the thing called nagging, which yeah, it's like they kind

620
00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 1: of like pick at you. And apparently it drives girls wild,

621
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,879
Speaker 1: which makes me fucking crazy because I'm sure it does.

622
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 1: But it's like, why do we want to picture you

623
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:43,280
Speaker 1: like that? Um? But yeah, like I can't imagine anyone

624
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,799
Speaker 1: being that bold in real life unless you're at like

625
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 1: a swingers club or something. But like that, you would

626
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,120
Speaker 1: walk up to a girl and just say that. So

627
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:53,399
Speaker 1: it's so interesting that your first message to a girl

628
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 1: would be that, Like, it just seems like maybe you

629
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 1: could start with like even like did you fall from

630
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 1: heaven or something. You know what what, I'm so bad

631
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 1: at pickup ones? What are they? Chip? Where did you go?

632
00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,600
Speaker 1: You're not paying attention right now? You zoned out. I

633
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 1: feel it. Are you digging through a dog? No, I'm here.

634
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:14,000
Speaker 1: You just didn't have any pickup lines you wanted to

635
00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:18,120
Speaker 1: follow up with? I don't. I'm like, literally the world's

636
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:21,320
Speaker 1: worth worst pickup artists. I feel like we need to

637
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,760
Speaker 1: do a social experiment when life goes back to normal

638
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 1: and send you out into the clubs and watch you

639
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 1: like flirt as an episode of that casual but but

640
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 1: like saying things like can idolinate you would? Maybe this

641
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:39,879
Speaker 1: is our experience. Maybe this is our experiment? Is you you?

642
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,000
Speaker 1: We come up with the worst things you could possibly say,

643
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 1: and see what guys say, and I'll get beat up.

644
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 1: What if I get beat up, I'd have your back.

645
00:35:48,200 --> 00:35:52,040
Speaker 1: That's going to help anything. I mean, if someone could

646
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 1: take you out, they could definitely. I've seen you. I'm

647
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 1: a start to fight at Okay, Okay, we're digressive. We

648
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:05,760
Speaker 1: don't need to is that you have my space? We

649
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,360
Speaker 1: saw Nicole was in town and she reminded us of

650
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: that moment. I was like, really, I was like, I

651
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,960
Speaker 1: asked her, I go, can you tell me something like

652
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:15,840
Speaker 1: just starting to fight? She goes, I kind of feel

653
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 1: like it. Okay, Well, first of all, this is just

654
00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 1: not true at all, and I had been up so

655
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,399
Speaker 1: mortifying to admit. First of all, there was a lot

656
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: of tequila, which can go either way for me. I'm

657
00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 1: either super fun tequila drunk, or I'm angry. And this

658
00:36:32,840 --> 00:36:35,840
Speaker 1: night I was super fun for a while and I

659
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,440
Speaker 1: was dancing on this platform on the side of a

660
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 1: booth and this bitch just comes over and literally steps

661
00:36:43,440 --> 00:36:46,840
Speaker 1: like she was like on top of me, and not

662
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 1: this is gonna I'm gonna telling such an asshole of

663
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,200
Speaker 1: us at this story. But she was trying to push

664
00:36:52,239 --> 00:36:54,280
Speaker 1: me out, and I was just like, what are you doing?

665
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 1: And also I've been here for a hour, like I

666
00:36:56,920 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 1: had laid my territory, you know, I had called it out.

667
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:01,759
Speaker 1: I was just trying to have a little fun and

668
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:06,360
Speaker 1: then she pushed me, and then my friend dumped a

669
00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,520
Speaker 1: drink on her head. I'm like, how old are we?

670
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,879
Speaker 1: This is not And the part that you're leaving out

671
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 1: is like we were there with one of the owners

672
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 1: of the bars. This is like not going to end

673
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:22,279
Speaker 1: well tourist girl. I think she got asked to sit down. Yeah,

674
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: like security was called and I know which I actually did.

675
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 1: I felt kind of embarrassed about I was actually just

676
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 1: really embarrassed about my behavior. You know, you have those

677
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:35,960
Speaker 1: nights and like, I mean, don't come at me with

678
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:39,800
Speaker 1: tequila just right. You've never knowed. I might be small,

679
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 1: but I sure I'm sassy. That's the Cajun in me.

680
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:46,359
Speaker 1: So I have a question for you when it comes

681
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 1: to this keyboard courage, like do you as a as

682
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: a beautiful woman, Like do you ever just get like, um,

683
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 1: creepy dudes on your page being like, hey you're hot

684
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:02,360
Speaker 1: semi nudes or like, because I've definitely I have a

685
00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 1: friend that thinks you're really hot and whenever you, um,

686
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 1: whenever you put up a sexy total, he always screensots it.

687
00:38:08,600 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 1: He says like give him my number or something like,

688
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 1: I mean he's a creepy Okay, I mean he has

689
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,920
Speaker 1: a girlfriend who loves that's even more fucked up. But

690
00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 1: it's not it's our thing. Now that he knows that

691
00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:28,799
Speaker 1: we're friends, he's like he's turned the sauce up. You know. Yes,

692
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: he's just like messing around. Um, I get really creepy messages.

693
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,360
Speaker 1: I get a lot of request for feed picks, which

694
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:40,680
Speaker 1: is really interesting. I don't know. I'm like, you guys

695
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,760
Speaker 1: must not know about my foot tattoo because it's soous.

696
00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:48,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god. It's like, Honestly, a friend of mine

697
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:50,960
Speaker 1: and I had a joke during the pandemic that like

698
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 1: when our our entire entertainment industry was like going away,

699
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:57,320
Speaker 1: we were like, I mean, should we start selling feet picks?

700
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,839
Speaker 1: Like what's what's the next move here? Um? But yeah,

701
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:03,759
Speaker 1: I've gotten some really weird requests, Like honestly, usually like

702
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,000
Speaker 1: I'll pick through them and I'll just start sending them

703
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 1: to my boyfriend and I'm just like, you better straighten

704
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 1: up because they're like so cross. I mean, it's just

705
00:39:12,440 --> 00:39:15,000
Speaker 1: like there's like a couple of guys well to just say, like,

706
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 1: you know, all the things they want to do to me,

707
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:19,880
Speaker 1: it's just laughable because they're all disgusting. It's not like

708
00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 1: a normal guy of saying that kind of stuff, So

709
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,240
Speaker 1: you just got to laugh it off. I mean normally

710
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:29,000
Speaker 1: I just like delete and it moves on after to

711
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:35,799
Speaker 1: my boyfriends. Yeah, yeah, I mean to sort of bring

712
00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 1: it back to that sort of patriarchal thing. Like it's

713
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 1: dudes think that they can just say that ship and

714
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,840
Speaker 1: get away with it, like girls are going to be like, sure,

715
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,799
Speaker 1: here you go. Like I think, I wrote back, there

716
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:49,680
Speaker 1: was this one guy who had you know, like when

717
00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 1: someone has a blue check. This was actually years ago.

718
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 1: I was actually single at this point, but like you

719
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:57,360
Speaker 1: think someone with a blue check. That sounds stupid, but

720
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 1: like it gave me a little safety for some reason,

721
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:02,799
Speaker 1: Like I felt like, maybe, oh, maybe he's certified something.

722
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:06,360
Speaker 1: He was a football player, but he uh, he messages

723
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 1: me and he said something, and like I was so shocked.

724
00:40:09,640 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 1: I wish I could remember what he said. I was

725
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 1: so shocked and how forward it was that I wrote back,

726
00:40:14,760 --> 00:40:19,080
Speaker 1: does that actually work for you? Like I'm so confused,

727
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:23,320
Speaker 1: and and he was like yeah, it was just shocking

728
00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 1: to me. Like I couldn't. I I stopped responding to

729
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 1: him because it grossed me out so much. I mean,

730
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,000
Speaker 1: it kind of makes you want to be like all right,

731
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,880
Speaker 1: I'll you. Well it didn't for me. I mean he

732
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 1: was also like ten years younger than me, which is

733
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:38,400
Speaker 1: also a turn off for me. But like I just

734
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 1: was so shocked that I mean, I think probably what

735
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:45,440
Speaker 1: happens is he's hitting maybe people around his age and

736
00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 1: they are like, oh the confidence, or maybe they think

737
00:40:48,200 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 1: they're they're the only one. He's saying, like how beautiful

738
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,919
Speaker 1: they are too, And I've just been in this game

739
00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 1: too long and I'm like, okay, but um yeah, I

740
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:58,680
Speaker 1: just I can't. I wish that I could have remember

741
00:40:58,800 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 1: it was something about something my body, but it was

742
00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: like extremely forward and I was very turned off by it,

743
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,399
Speaker 1: but he said it works, and I was like, well,

744
00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:12,600
Speaker 1: picked the wrong girl, but good for you. Yeah, I

745
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:14,560
Speaker 1: don't know. I mean, I'm not done. This is again.

746
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:16,759
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, the dating app world, like,

747
00:41:16,960 --> 00:41:20,640
Speaker 1: props to you, dating app warriors. I really, I'm so

748
00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:22,879
Speaker 1: glad that I hear success stories and then it does

749
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 1: work for people. We actually have a really good friend

750
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,120
Speaker 1: who just got in a relationship and she's the happiest

751
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 1: I've ever seen her, and it was from a hinge

752
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:32,120
Speaker 1: And that makes me feel good about this stuff because

753
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 1: I know, like a lot of our friends have been

754
00:41:34,120 --> 00:41:36,560
Speaker 1: in the trenches of the apps for a while and

755
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:41,720
Speaker 1: it's like it's just scary out there, totally scary. Yeah,

756
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,160
Speaker 1: well you're gonna again, you know, have to do some

757
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:46,279
Speaker 1: experimenting for us and get on an app and then

758
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:48,440
Speaker 1: read us all the messages you get about the nasty

759
00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,400
Speaker 1: things people want to do to you. You know what's funny,

760
00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:53,920
Speaker 1: it is like I feel like, I mean because I

761
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: have used those apps in the past, and it's like

762
00:41:56,800 --> 00:41:58,960
Speaker 1: I'm trying to thank you if I've gotten anything. That's Like,

763
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,120
Speaker 1: I'm sure there's been nasty things said, but i don't know,

764
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 1: I feel like it's it's more shocking when it's a

765
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:08,560
Speaker 1: one man a woman. Well, it's definitely like a little

766
00:42:08,560 --> 00:42:11,680
Speaker 1: more aggressive, Yeah, and it feels a little more intrusive

767
00:42:11,719 --> 00:42:14,799
Speaker 1: maybe or something. I don't know. I don't know. I'm

768
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:16,480
Speaker 1: not really down for it, like save it for at

769
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 1: least a third date, Jesus, take me to dinner first man. Well,

770
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,360
Speaker 1: I also wonder like, and there's probably no way to

771
00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:26,320
Speaker 1: really quantify this, but like what percentage like of these guys,

772
00:42:26,360 --> 00:42:29,320
Speaker 1: like if the woman responded and was like okay, sure,

773
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,799
Speaker 1: like actually have the ball totally? Like are they just

774
00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 1: doing it for shock factor to see what people say?

775
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:40,440
Speaker 1: And like then one one girl finally goes okay, and

776
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 1: then they're like wait what Yeah, I'm just like, well,

777
00:42:45,840 --> 00:42:48,439
Speaker 1: this guy on this last one that I read, looks

778
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 1: like you might actually follow through with it because the

779
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 1: dominant guy. Yeah, I wish you would, and I wish

780
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: you would like order a dominatrix to his house or

781
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:08,600
Speaker 1: something fake, or just someone who well COVID just kidding, um,

782
00:43:08,719 --> 00:43:10,680
Speaker 1: or someone who would just go in and rock his

783
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 1: world and like he wouldn't even know what to do

784
00:43:13,600 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: with himself, yeah, or just be like, well, part of

785
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 1: my domination is I'm going to tell this woman to

786
00:43:20,239 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: do this to you, right right, Yeah, I mean that

787
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: would be amazing, or this guy would do this to

788
00:43:26,200 --> 00:43:35,080
Speaker 1: you really, Yeah, I'll dominate you, and so will he.

789
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:41,480
Speaker 1: That's um, okay, Well, I just think that everyone has

790
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 1: a little more keyword courage, and I am I just

791
00:43:44,280 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 1: am like, I think it's a great way to meet people,

792
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:49,400
Speaker 1: and I think it's a great way to communicate. This

793
00:43:49,480 --> 00:43:52,120
Speaker 1: is just like not even dating if you're communicating on Instagram.

794
00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 1: I love connecting with you guys. Um, but let's all

795
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,800
Speaker 1: just be a little kinder maybe, or like keep in mind,

796
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,360
Speaker 1: like say what you would say in real life to people, like,

797
00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:03,439
Speaker 1: don't just become this like freak show because you're behind

798
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:07,959
Speaker 1: a keyboard. Yeah, I agree. I also, I mean I've

799
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,279
Speaker 1: I think that like all this keyboard courage like has

800
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:16,400
Speaker 1: been exacerbated in their current political climate. And there's you know,

801
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 1: people fight with strangers over things like often when you're

802
00:44:21,239 --> 00:44:24,200
Speaker 1: clearly not going to change somebody's mind. You know, like

803
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,480
Speaker 1: it's just it is what it is, So what what's

804
00:44:28,520 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: the point of even fighting? Um? But I you know,

805
00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 1: I think that like discourse is a good thing. You

806
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: just have to come at people right and it doesn't

807
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,239
Speaker 1: have to be a fight. And I've called myself like

808
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 1: wanting to like respond to someone being like oh my god,

809
00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: this person is a fucking idiot, and like I start

810
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:50,080
Speaker 1: to respond and then I'm like, what's the point, Like

811
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,399
Speaker 1: I'm never going to get through to these people. I'm

812
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:54,439
Speaker 1: not going to get through to them. So I think

813
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 1: that we all could sort of like learn from that

814
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 1: and just take a deep breath close close to app.

815
00:45:03,680 --> 00:45:06,720
Speaker 1: I don't like strangers worked you off over these things,

816
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:10,239
Speaker 1: like Yeah, if you don't like what we're talking about here,

817
00:45:10,320 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 1: then don't listen. Like we got well, like we got

818
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:16,719
Speaker 1: plenty of people that we love who are listening, and

819
00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,439
Speaker 1: oh look we're also not doing it. Just we're doing

820
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 1: this to have fun and we're not doing this to

821
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:26,839
Speaker 1: police people. So if we're not your cup of teeth,

822
00:45:26,840 --> 00:45:33,000
Speaker 1: then go drink some coffee. Hey. Um, yeah, I was

823
00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:34,880
Speaker 1: gonna say, just take a deep breath, send people some

824
00:45:34,960 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: love and light and like a fucking amast day. It's

825
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:41,600
Speaker 1: just not worth it. It is just not worth it. Um. Alright,

826
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: moving on to the next topic, cause we have to

827
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:47,560
Speaker 1: to listener emails that I wanted to get there. Toe

828
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 1: my god, let me try again. Would you say you

829
00:45:53,320 --> 00:45:55,399
Speaker 1: didn't sleep? I do not sleep last night. I wish

830
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,239
Speaker 1: I could blame it on like the alcohol or something,

831
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 1: but you know, like COVID, So no, it's just lack

832
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:03,840
Speaker 1: of sleep. Um. But so okay. Anyway, there's two listener

833
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:05,880
Speaker 1: emails that I wanted to get to. They are actually

834
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,239
Speaker 1: some pretty tough questions. We're gonna do our best to

835
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:13,400
Speaker 1: just give our input again, take what you like, leave

836
00:46:13,440 --> 00:46:16,839
Speaker 1: the rest. This is just our opinion and well it's

837
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 1: not our life, so um, you have to make the

838
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,360
Speaker 1: best decision for you at the end of the day. Uh.

839
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:26,520
Speaker 1: This one comes from Caroline and and she says, hey,

840
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 1: number one, I'm so happy you're feeling better. I really

841
00:46:29,560 --> 00:46:32,440
Speaker 1: respect the work you do and all the positive positivity

842
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 1: you put into the world. I was hoping I could

843
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,920
Speaker 1: ask you for some advice or if you have already

844
00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:39,880
Speaker 1: recorded a podcast about this, where I should look. My

845
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:42,319
Speaker 1: boyfriend of over three years that I used to live

846
00:46:42,360 --> 00:46:44,600
Speaker 1: with was cheating on me for seven months while we

847
00:46:44,600 --> 00:46:48,400
Speaker 1: were long distance. He just moved to my same city

848
00:46:49,040 --> 00:46:52,320
Speaker 1: and said he wants to work it out. Any advice

849
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 1: or podcast recommendations. I'm so overwhelmed. She later I wrote

850
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:58,759
Speaker 1: her back. UM. A couple of times we kind of

851
00:46:58,800 --> 00:47:00,880
Speaker 1: went back and forth, and and she later told me

852
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,160
Speaker 1: he cheated with three different women, So that was a

853
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:06,719
Speaker 1: little like a note to throw in there. A personally

854
00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: have also been cheated on pretty royally, UM, and this

855
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 1: one like, I just like you just made the noise

856
00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:16,640
Speaker 1: that I felt when I read it. I was just like,

857
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:19,640
Speaker 1: because when you've been in that situation, you just know

858
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:23,560
Speaker 1: that feeling and it's fucking awful. Like I honestly, I

859
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:26,439
Speaker 1: don't know a worse feeling I've felt in my life

860
00:47:26,440 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 1: than finding that out, Especially when you're thinking that your

861
00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 1: relationship is one thing and then you find out that

862
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 1: it's a completely different thing or something else. There's like

863
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:40,040
Speaker 1: double life situation going on, you know. Yeah. I um,

864
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:46,080
Speaker 1: like when I saw it, I when you're texting me,

865
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: And because I had all of the information at once,

866
00:47:48,600 --> 00:47:51,120
Speaker 1: I saw that it was three guys, and my initial

867
00:47:51,160 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 1: reaction was like I want to shake Caroline, Like there

868
00:47:55,320 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 1: is in my mind there is no question elite block.

869
00:48:01,440 --> 00:48:05,560
Speaker 1: This person is not good for you by like he

870
00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 1: had his chance. You were with him three years and

871
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 1: he cheated on you. G So I just feel like, um,

872
00:48:16,160 --> 00:48:19,600
Speaker 1: it's the fact that she's even considering it says lots

873
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:22,360
Speaker 1: of wonderful things about her, and she's probably a kind person,

874
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:24,800
Speaker 1: and I'm sure there were qualities to him that she

875
00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 1: still likes, but like move away she deserved. I mean,

876
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:33,240
Speaker 1: it's super hard, Like I when I went through this myself,

877
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:36,279
Speaker 1: my therapist said, because do one another. The thing that

878
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 1: was so fascinating to me was I was actually three

879
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 1: months out from getting married, like an actual wedding. I

880
00:48:42,200 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 1: was engaged when I found out that he had been

881
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 1: cheating the entire relationship, and um, the one thing that

882
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 1: people said to me so often was You're so brave

883
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,840
Speaker 1: for canceling your wedding. Like so brave, and I was

884
00:48:54,920 --> 00:48:59,160
Speaker 1: like what I could not I could not process how

885
00:48:59,200 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 1: people thought that was so brave because I didn't feel

886
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 1: like I had a choice. I was like, this motherfucker

887
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,759
Speaker 1: has been cheating on me the entire relationship, Like even

888
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:07,920
Speaker 1: if we would work it out, there is no chance

889
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:10,800
Speaker 1: I can get married in three months, Like are you kidding?

890
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:14,839
Speaker 1: That was like shocking to me. But apparently, as I

891
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:17,640
Speaker 1: was told, it's very common that people still do, like

892
00:49:17,680 --> 00:49:19,560
Speaker 1: they'll find out there was cheating and then they get

893
00:49:19,680 --> 00:49:21,640
Speaker 1: the wedding is already too close, and so they just

894
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:24,920
Speaker 1: get married anyway and whatever. Everybody has their story. But

895
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:27,120
Speaker 1: what I realized in therapy is cheating is a deal

896
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 1: breaker for me, And um, she was just like and

897
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,720
Speaker 1: that's okay, Like you have to decide that for yourself,

898
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:35,880
Speaker 1: you know. I do know people who have worked it

899
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,720
Speaker 1: out after cheating, so and I think it's very circumstantial,

900
00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 1: like if you're married, if you have kids, and it's

901
00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:44,480
Speaker 1: like a one time thing or you know, just like

902
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:47,280
Speaker 1: it's very situational. Like we always say with these questions,

903
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,840
Speaker 1: it's hard because we don't fully know the story of

904
00:49:49,840 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 1: this relationship or their age or anything about that, but

905
00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 1: um yeah, I think like if my advice to Caroline

906
00:49:56,480 --> 00:50:01,160
Speaker 1: would be, uh, what are your deal breaker? And you know,

907
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:03,879
Speaker 1: I think it's okay if cheating is one of them,

908
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:05,919
Speaker 1: Like and just because this dude wants to get back

909
00:50:05,920 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 1: together with you, like what do you want? Do you

910
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 1: want him back? Can you actually move on? And then

911
00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 1: if you decide yes, like you can put the things

912
00:50:16,600 --> 00:50:19,000
Speaker 1: in the past. I would also say, like maybe talk

913
00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: to a therapist with him, like because obviously there was

914
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,920
Speaker 1: some sort of breakdown somewhere in the relationship and so

915
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,719
Speaker 1: you know, just making sure that you get on the

916
00:50:28,800 --> 00:50:33,000
Speaker 1: same page and your communication is a lot more clear, uh,

917
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:37,319
Speaker 1: so that this doesn't happen again, right, Yeah, I mean

918
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:39,280
Speaker 1: it looks it sounds like he moved to her town.

919
00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:43,200
Speaker 1: I'd be curious to know if she had any idea

920
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 1: he was coming or if he just arrived and it's

921
00:50:45,760 --> 00:50:50,560
Speaker 1: like I want you back, yeah, because that's so it's

922
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:54,400
Speaker 1: like so not fair to her. Well, I thought, I

923
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:58,919
Speaker 1: think that's too and I think it's really hard. Like

924
00:50:59,400 --> 00:51:01,279
Speaker 1: when a first spread it, I was like, oh, you know,

925
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:03,960
Speaker 1: he cheated, maybe he made a mistake or just again

926
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:07,720
Speaker 1: it was like something like one time feels so different

927
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:10,280
Speaker 1: to me than three times at one time isn't okay either,

928
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:15,320
Speaker 1: but like it feels different than three different people because

929
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:19,040
Speaker 1: like at that point, like you know what you're doing

930
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 1: and it's not just like oops, I made a mistake.

931
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:27,160
Speaker 1: It's like pretty intentional, you know. So I don't know,

932
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:30,640
Speaker 1: those are just some things to ponder and um really,

933
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:32,960
Speaker 1: like I think there's just a lot of questions that

934
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:35,520
Speaker 1: you would need to answer for yourself in that situation

935
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:41,879
Speaker 1: and really like get honest with yourself about yeah, for sure,

936
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:43,960
Speaker 1: but like take him out of the picture for a

937
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,359
Speaker 1: second and go what, like, to me, this is what

938
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,640
Speaker 1: we as women do a lot. I'm so guilty of this.

939
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:51,319
Speaker 1: But it's like, oh, well he wants to work it out, Well,

940
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:53,279
Speaker 1: what the fund do you want? Do you want to

941
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 1: work it out? Like this is what I'm really trying

942
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:58,319
Speaker 1: to ask myself in my life, you know, like at

943
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 1: this age, is like what do I want? And how

944
00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 1: do I make that happen for myself? Taking everyone else

945
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:07,799
Speaker 1: out of it? Like how do I take control of

946
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,279
Speaker 1: my own life and getting what I want myself? I

947
00:52:10,280 --> 00:52:14,720
Speaker 1: think guys are a lot better at that than girls are, naturally, Um, okay,

948
00:52:14,760 --> 00:52:17,680
Speaker 1: so this next one, she wanted to remain anonymous, but

949
00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:21,400
Speaker 1: she said, Hey, Kelly, I'm listening to your August seven podcast,

950
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:24,120
Speaker 1: and I cannot explain how great this is. My husband

951
00:52:24,160 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: is super quote unquote fuck heavy, not sex fuck. I

952
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:30,759
Speaker 1: say that because there is no attention given between us.

953
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:33,840
Speaker 1: It's literally just living and then when it's time to

954
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:36,920
Speaker 1: go to bed, the expectation is to have sex. However,

955
00:52:37,040 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 1: after listening to your podcast, it is literally just fucking.

956
00:52:40,320 --> 00:52:42,200
Speaker 1: I will try and talk to him, and he is

957
00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:45,120
Speaker 1: so absorbed with his phone. We do work and have

958
00:52:45,200 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 1: two kids. Life is busy, but at nine pm, I

959
00:52:47,680 --> 00:52:50,279
Speaker 1: think I should have some attention to write. And by

960
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:53,080
Speaker 1: attention I mean a conversation. I'm a talker. I don't

961
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:57,799
Speaker 1: need flowers, spontaneous days, etcetera for affection. Literally just talk

962
00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:01,000
Speaker 1: to me, invest in a conversation. So my question is

963
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:04,800
Speaker 1: how can I engage him. His sex fox fuck expectations

964
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:07,360
Speaker 1: are daily. I'm not interested. I feel like it's a

965
00:53:07,360 --> 00:53:11,919
Speaker 1: give give, give chip. What are your thoughts? Um, Well,

966
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:17,960
Speaker 1: it sounds like any never really like important conversation, because

967
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 1: I mean it sounds to me that this actually like

968
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:25,520
Speaker 1: probably bleeds. It's not just about what's happening in the bedroom,

969
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:29,080
Speaker 1: you know, because I feel like I just give, give, give, um,

970
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:32,880
Speaker 1: And I'm like, look, I look at the house that

971
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:35,160
Speaker 1: I grew up and I'm a single person, so I

972
00:53:35,320 --> 00:53:37,800
Speaker 1: can't sort of relate to what it's like to be married.

973
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:43,040
Speaker 1: But I know how like my dad worked really hard,

974
00:53:43,120 --> 00:53:47,759
Speaker 1: but like my mother ran circles around him because she,

975
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:51,160
Speaker 1: you know, it was like everything. Like my dad worked

976
00:53:51,200 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 1: really hard to provide for us. My mom also had

977
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:57,560
Speaker 1: a full time job. She never missed a sports game,

978
00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:00,440
Speaker 1: She dealt with she did the laundry, she cook she

979
00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:04,359
Speaker 1: did like she was. It was everything. And my dad

980
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:06,680
Speaker 1: did a lot of stuff outside the house too. But

981
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:10,240
Speaker 1: like mom talk about give, give, giving, like I see

982
00:54:10,280 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 1: that happen. I saw that happen in my life, um

983
00:54:13,920 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 1: and UM. But I also don't think that my father

984
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:21,359
Speaker 1: ever took her for granted and um. And they're still

985
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:24,120
Speaker 1: married and they're still happy, and so I think that

986
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:28,000
Speaker 1: it's about like it's the conversation that I think that

987
00:54:28,040 --> 00:54:30,400
Speaker 1: probably needs to happen between Kyle and her husband, is

988
00:54:30,440 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 1: that just being appreciated. Like I think if she felt

989
00:54:35,640 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 1: probably more appreciated overall, the sex would be more enticing,

990
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 1: but it's like right now she feels like she's it's

991
00:54:43,600 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 1: a reward for something when she's not happy. You know,

992
00:54:47,480 --> 00:54:49,839
Speaker 1: that's kind of what I'm reading into this message, and

993
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:52,360
Speaker 1: I could be wrong. Maybe it is just like that

994
00:54:52,640 --> 00:54:54,960
Speaker 1: that part of the relationships she's not interesting because she's

995
00:54:54,960 --> 00:54:56,920
Speaker 1: too quite tired at the end of the day. But

996
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,080
Speaker 1: to me, it sounds like it's a bigger issue that

997
00:55:00,200 --> 00:55:04,319
Speaker 1: she just needs to say, like look like I'm I'm

998
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:07,680
Speaker 1: a person. I'm here, like talk to me, because it's

999
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 1: just it just it sounds more like there's a broken

1000
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:13,560
Speaker 1: relationship or something going on. Yeah, I mean I agree

1001
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:16,080
Speaker 1: with that. And then also like I just hear a

1002
00:55:16,160 --> 00:55:18,320
Speaker 1: little bit of the same thing I just was talking

1003
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,680
Speaker 1: about in that first message with Caroline. If maybe it's

1004
00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,520
Speaker 1: like asking yourself what you want, and then maybe it's

1005
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:26,359
Speaker 1: like a need to set a little bit, you know,

1006
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:29,000
Speaker 1: some boundaries of some sort to like take care of yourself,

1007
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:32,479
Speaker 1: because if you're not getting your needs met, then like

1008
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:34,919
Speaker 1: it's not really okay for you to just go meet

1009
00:55:34,960 --> 00:55:38,000
Speaker 1: someone else's needs constantly. Like that's the give and take

1010
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:40,680
Speaker 1: of a relationship, right, Like it's I don't think it's

1011
00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:43,960
Speaker 1: your job to give to fulfill every part of your

1012
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 1: partner's needs, but like it's definitely important to hear them,

1013
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:49,919
Speaker 1: and if you can't even have a conversation about them

1014
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:53,520
Speaker 1: or like I feel like you're at least being um

1015
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:57,400
Speaker 1: heard at all, then it's not really your responsibility in

1016
00:55:57,440 --> 00:55:59,880
Speaker 1: my opinion, to just lay down and like take it

1017
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 1: every night, especially if you're not there. To me, that's

1018
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:08,200
Speaker 1: like abandoning yourself a little bit. Um. Yeah. And also

1019
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 1: like the way that she described the quote unquote fucking

1020
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:14,120
Speaker 1: I think was in reference to how we were talking about.

1021
00:56:14,160 --> 00:56:16,200
Speaker 1: Maybe it was like porn or something, and I was

1022
00:56:16,239 --> 00:56:18,640
Speaker 1: just like, it's just like going to poundtown, Like that

1023
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:21,799
Speaker 1: is not what a girl really wants. Usually it's like,

1024
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:23,879
Speaker 1: you know, it takes a little more for us than

1025
00:56:24,000 --> 00:56:29,120
Speaker 1: just like that. And so, um, I think that's another

1026
00:56:29,160 --> 00:56:32,120
Speaker 1: conversation to maybe look into, is what do you want

1027
00:56:32,160 --> 00:56:34,440
Speaker 1: in the bedroom? And maybe you don't know, but like

1028
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:37,719
Speaker 1: maybe these are like things to explore and just it

1029
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:39,960
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like he's that willing to have conversations. But

1030
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:43,160
Speaker 1: then I think it's okay for you in that position

1031
00:56:43,239 --> 00:56:46,480
Speaker 1: to be like okay, well I'm not okay, just like

1032
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,520
Speaker 1: fucking every night, you know, like you can say your

1033
00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 1: piece be honest. Yeah, I mean I think that, Um,

1034
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:56,319
Speaker 1: I mean, I obviously don't have any idea how old

1035
00:56:56,360 --> 00:57:00,000
Speaker 1: she is either, but I think that like people are

1036
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 1: certain age, we're you know, we're raised and not even

1037
00:57:05,200 --> 00:57:09,799
Speaker 1: like talk about those sorts of people who sex, And

1038
00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:12,440
Speaker 1: so I think there are probably a lot of people

1039
00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:15,919
Speaker 1: that just like have been willing to just lay there

1040
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:19,000
Speaker 1: and be that for their spouse and it's it's just

1041
00:57:19,160 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 1: not I commend her for recognizing those feelings. And I

1042
00:57:23,360 --> 00:57:26,480
Speaker 1: think by even sending this message is the first step

1043
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:29,840
Speaker 1: to sort of like figuring that out, you know, one

1044
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 1: of probably many first steps to figuring it out. But

1045
00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:36,200
Speaker 1: like I think that it's it is probably an indicator

1046
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:39,200
Speaker 1: of something bigger, and the conversation can start there and

1047
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:43,240
Speaker 1: then see where it unravels. But um, you know, yeah,

1048
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:45,200
Speaker 1: maybe even let me get to a point where it's

1049
00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:49,360
Speaker 1: like an angry thing just right, you're punishing with your boundaries.

1050
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:52,640
Speaker 1: Like I think maybe to another point would be like

1051
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 1: that you just said about sex, it's kind of hard

1052
00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:56,680
Speaker 1: to talk about. Like I do know, there's so much

1053
00:57:56,760 --> 00:58:00,240
Speaker 1: shame about having conversations about sex with a lot of

1054
00:58:00,280 --> 00:58:03,360
Speaker 1: people and like it can be hard because of that,

1055
00:58:03,480 --> 00:58:06,640
Speaker 1: and so sometimes maybe it's easier to start with conversations

1056
00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:09,080
Speaker 1: of like, hey, I need to connect with you, like

1057
00:58:09,160 --> 00:58:12,520
Speaker 1: I can we have a ten minute conversation to connect

1058
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:14,640
Speaker 1: at the end of the day and like start small

1059
00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,240
Speaker 1: and then you know, like build up a little bit

1060
00:58:17,360 --> 00:58:21,280
Speaker 1: versus just jumping right into like here's the issue with me?

1061
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:23,720
Speaker 1: And I don't know, I know it never works well

1062
00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:25,520
Speaker 1: for me when like my guy feels like I'm just

1063
00:58:25,560 --> 00:58:31,440
Speaker 1: coming at him. Yeah. No, I think that it's it

1064
00:58:31,640 --> 00:58:34,000
Speaker 1: just needs to be like Yo, I've been thinking about this,

1065
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:37,120
Speaker 1: and I think I think there's a safe way to

1066
00:58:37,160 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 1: do it without turning into a fight. Yeah, Because it

1067
00:58:39,920 --> 00:58:42,680
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like she doesn't want to have sex with

1068
00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:44,920
Speaker 1: him ever. It sounds like she just doesn't want to

1069
00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:48,600
Speaker 1: be like it's fun all every night. Yeah. Yeah, And

1070
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:50,360
Speaker 1: I just hear a lot of like her needs not

1071
00:58:50,440 --> 00:58:54,400
Speaker 1: being met too, and so she's just depleted. So I

1072
00:58:54,440 --> 00:58:56,920
Speaker 1: think that those are the those are the hard things.

1073
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,640
Speaker 1: I mean, if conversations aren't on the table, it always

1074
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:02,200
Speaker 1: makes the is a lot trigger. But maybe you can

1075
00:59:02,200 --> 00:59:05,960
Speaker 1: find a creative way to get those things started and

1076
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:10,120
Speaker 1: get that ball moving. Yeah, so I hope we were

1077
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:13,040
Speaker 1: helpful again. I mean, we are just trying to talk

1078
00:59:13,040 --> 00:59:15,160
Speaker 1: to you as your friends would. These are based on

1079
00:59:15,200 --> 00:59:17,680
Speaker 1: our experiences too. I relate to a lot of the

1080
00:59:17,720 --> 00:59:21,560
Speaker 1: women who are open about, you know, just not knowing

1081
00:59:21,720 --> 00:59:24,600
Speaker 1: what they need and then getting depleted. That's been a

1082
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:27,280
Speaker 1: huge thing for me, especially in relationships. I just like,

1083
00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:29,800
Speaker 1: we'll overgive and then before I know it, I have

1084
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:31,920
Speaker 1: like nothing to give, you know. So I'm trying to

1085
00:59:31,960 --> 00:59:35,960
Speaker 1: find a better balance habitants to share all those experiences

1086
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:37,840
Speaker 1: with you, guys, And thank you again for sending us

1087
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:40,800
Speaker 1: all your questions. Keep them coming. You can email us

1088
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:43,880
Speaker 1: at at casual at Velvet's Edge dot com or slide

1089
00:59:43,880 --> 00:59:46,440
Speaker 1: into my d M s at Velvet's Edge or Chip

1090
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:50,080
Speaker 1: is at chip Doors next week. I'm actually so pumped

1091
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:52,680
Speaker 1: about this Chip do you remember what we're doing next week?

1092
00:59:53,400 --> 00:59:55,919
Speaker 1: And I actually started reading this book last night, so

1093
00:59:56,120 --> 00:59:59,400
Speaker 1: I had um entrepreneur John Rowa on a couple of

1094
00:59:59,400 --> 01:00:01,400
Speaker 1: weeks ago. He's on the Velvet Edge podcast. If you

1095
01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:05,200
Speaker 1: haven't listened to that podcast yet, go listen. He's fascinating.

1096
01:00:05,240 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 1: I mean, he he got super rich, super young in life,

1097
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:11,080
Speaker 1: and so I think those kind of people are always

1098
01:00:11,120 --> 01:00:14,680
Speaker 1: intriguing to us. But I love his story because he

1099
01:00:14,800 --> 01:00:18,040
Speaker 1: talks through like the glamorous aspects of all of the

1100
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 1: things that he's gotten to do and building a business

1101
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:22,440
Speaker 1: at a young age and selling and all that stuff.

1102
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:25,320
Speaker 1: But he also talks about the meltdown, Like he had

1103
01:00:25,400 --> 01:00:29,560
Speaker 1: a mental breakdown right after he sold his business. And

1104
01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:31,560
Speaker 1: that's not what you would think, you know, but he

1105
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:34,400
Speaker 1: had been grinding so hard and pushing his body so

1106
01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:38,560
Speaker 1: hard and partying so hard, and um, he just had

1107
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:42,360
Speaker 1: ultimately had to breakdown. So he talks a lot about, um,

1108
01:00:42,400 --> 01:00:45,320
Speaker 1: his anxiety issues that had come with all of the

1109
01:00:45,360 --> 01:00:48,680
Speaker 1: business stuff that no entrepreneurs really talk about. You know.

1110
01:00:48,760 --> 01:00:50,120
Speaker 1: It's like you kind of have to put up that

1111
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:52,880
Speaker 1: tough face and he's just getting really vulnerable. And his

1112
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:55,280
Speaker 1: whole book, um it's called A Practical Way to Get

1113
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:58,080
Speaker 1: Rich and Die Trying, comes out in September. Ship and

1114
01:00:58,120 --> 01:00:59,920
Speaker 1: I are both reading it right now, but it kind

1115
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:04,280
Speaker 1: it kind of goes through, um that story and just

1116
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 1: the wild times and some of them. I mean it

1117
01:01:06,680 --> 01:01:09,680
Speaker 1: starts out like in Vegas with two girls in his bed.

1118
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 1: It's like that kind of ship. Um, So we're reading

1119
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 1: that and he's going to come on at Casual next

1120
01:01:15,360 --> 01:01:19,280
Speaker 1: week because he listens and he heard us talking about

1121
01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:21,919
Speaker 1: how we never have a male perspective, Like I get

1122
01:01:22,040 --> 01:01:26,120
Speaker 1: so many messages from females. I'm obviously a female, and

1123
01:01:26,200 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 1: so we're constantly talking about dating and sex from a

1124
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:33,200
Speaker 1: woman's perspective, and I want to know a lot of

1125
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 1: stuff from a guy's perspective. So if you have questions

1126
01:01:36,320 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 1: for John, we're doing that interview early next week. This

1127
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:41,240
Speaker 1: is this is Friday right now, and so we're doing

1128
01:01:41,240 --> 01:01:43,480
Speaker 1: that on Monday, So make sure to get your questions

1129
01:01:43,480 --> 01:01:46,080
Speaker 1: in over the weekend. It can be anything. It can

1130
01:01:46,120 --> 01:01:48,600
Speaker 1: be any sort of thing. I've started getting some already

1131
01:01:48,680 --> 01:01:53,880
Speaker 1: just about um, what guy's intentions are, some sexual questions.

1132
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:55,440
Speaker 1: I mean, I think he might be blushing a little bit.

1133
01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 1: He said he's open to anything, though, So you guys,

1134
01:01:58,120 --> 01:02:00,320
Speaker 1: bring it And from the beginning of his book sounds

1135
01:02:00,360 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 1: like he had some wild Yeah. I don't think he's

1136
01:02:03,200 --> 01:02:06,640
Speaker 1: coming in without experience. Yeah, I think he is ready,

1137
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 1: um to answer some some wild questions. Yes, So bring

1138
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:13,320
Speaker 1: it on, is what we're saying. Again. Email us at

1139
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,320
Speaker 1: at casual at gmail dot com or slid into our

1140
01:02:16,400 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 1: d m s on Instagram, at Velvet's Edge and at

1141
01:02:19,240 --> 01:02:22,520
Speaker 1: Chip Doors. I hope you guys have a great weekend.

1142
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:26,480
Speaker 1: I'm going to be like living my life not casually.

1143
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:31,120
Speaker 1: I'm actually gonna go see some friends and um, I'm

1144
01:02:31,120 --> 01:02:33,560
Speaker 1: gonna wear a mask and be safe, but I cannot

1145
01:02:33,560 --> 01:02:35,920
Speaker 1: wait to get out of isolation. Chip, what are you

1146
01:02:35,960 --> 01:02:40,080
Speaker 1: gonna do um this weekend? I guess we're doing dinner

1147
01:02:40,120 --> 01:02:44,520
Speaker 1: on Saturday. Yeah, that's really my only plan. Okay, I

1148
01:02:44,640 --> 01:02:46,959
Speaker 1: probably do some things around the house, mow the lawn,

1149
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:50,280
Speaker 1: you know, exciting weekend, love to mow the lawn. I

1150
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:52,919
Speaker 1: think I've referenced this before, but this is always a Chip.

1151
01:02:53,000 --> 01:02:54,800
Speaker 1: What are you doing? He's either going to a show,

1152
01:02:54,840 --> 01:02:59,800
Speaker 1: which you can't do right now, or you're mowing the lawn. So,

1153
01:03:00,000 --> 01:03:02,160
Speaker 1: oh my god, I do I find solace in it

1154
01:03:02,360 --> 01:03:07,200
Speaker 1: like that and doing doing the dishes is my thinking time. God. Well,

1155
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,080
Speaker 1: whatever you guys are doing, I hope it sounds more

1156
01:03:09,080 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 1: fun than which ships mentioned. And I hope that you

1157
01:03:11,360 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 1: guys always remember to act casually. By