Speaker 1: Welcome back to this episode of Emergency or.
Speaker 2: Gone, Bring Back My Girls. This weekend is Coachella and
Speaker 2: Shockers and nobody and nobody gives a fuck.
Speaker 1: But we're not going. Couldn't be me. Coachella's ran through.
Speaker 1: Oh daddy, if you go, if you go to Coachella,
Speaker 1: like you're ran through your piece of ship.
Speaker 2: You're like ugly and such a piece of ship.
Speaker 1: What were you saying?
Speaker 3: K Daddy's going?
Speaker 2: Oh that lines up?
Speaker 1: No, I actually like I'm kind of jealous.
Speaker 2: I'm genuinely jealous of people who can be in big
Speaker 2: crowds and not be terrified and petrified for their life.
Speaker 2: Like that sounds fine. I guess you're petrified. So what
Speaker 2: are you doing there?
Speaker 3: I get scared. I'm going to try to do it
Speaker 3: sober this year because last year I drank and I'm
Speaker 3: I'm scared. It's gonna be really scary for Daddy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, can you stop saying that?
Speaker 1: What coach you're annoying and then talking about you being daddy?
Speaker 3: Oh why?
Speaker 2: Because that's like.
Speaker 1: Me, daddy you are.
Speaker 3: I love you give Daddy and I give office siren.
Speaker 3: But we could talk my mom, like.
Speaker 1: Kay put on his story offer siren and it was
Speaker 1: a selfie of him, and my mom liked this story.
Speaker 2: I love that. No, but I'm not kidding. I I've
Speaker 2: been thinking a lot about the fact that I'm not
Speaker 2: going because I'm jealous.
Speaker 1: Because I'm gonna go.
Speaker 2: The thing is it genuinely sounds it sounds fun, but
Speaker 2: my brain just can't. I can't. I can't. Don't.
Speaker 1: Oh my, that was real. Well, since Anya yells at
Speaker 1: me right now she destroyed my brand new bed, fucking.
Speaker 2: Dish royd fucking river, I already replaced this fucking.
Speaker 1: She no, no, no.
Speaker 2: Mommy this morning to tell on me. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And so we've been painting a bunch actually funny looking
Speaker 1: like oh no, no, I've been painting. I've been painting.
Speaker 1: But Enya used red oil paint in a painting and
Speaker 1: spilled it on our hardwood floor in our new house
Speaker 1: and it has been sitting there for about a month now,
Speaker 1: and every single time I'm in there, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: watch the oil paint. Watch the oil paint. I was like,
Speaker 1: maybe one day she'll clean it up. Maybe. No, it
Speaker 1: gets all over my socks. I track it through the
Speaker 1: house like clean, give me, look at me.
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck. And that's me rolling my
Speaker 2: eyes rapidly. If you're if you're listening and you're not watching,
Speaker 2: I rolled my eyes. Look at me rolling my eyes.
Speaker 2: I don't give a thos.
Speaker 1: And every time I'm in there, I'm like, oh, and
Speaker 1: you'll watch out, don't step in it. Well, she stepped
Speaker 1: in it yesterday and got it all over her sweats
Speaker 1: and her socks, and I was like, oh, be careful,
Speaker 1: be careful. Whatever. She changed those socks.
Speaker 2: Everyone hates the freedom of an artist who goes with
Speaker 2: the wind.
Speaker 1: She changed those socks in sweats. Well, then she put
Speaker 1: new socks on, and I don't know when she stepped
Speaker 1: in a chunk again, but she stepped in a chunk also.
Speaker 1: It was me and you and Josh in my bed,
Speaker 1: and we were like watching this person that I found,
Speaker 1: because I famously love finding like weird people on the
Speaker 1: Internet and absorbing all of their life force energy and
Speaker 1: making it a part of my life. But she was
Speaker 1: sitting in my bed and like, I saw red marks
Speaker 1: in my bed, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: she got oh a panel in my bed. But I'm
Speaker 1: in a good place mentally, so I didn't crash out.
Speaker 1: I just made a little joke and you did replace
Speaker 1: it within three minutes. I'll give her that. But Josh
Speaker 1: was in there with us, and the way he literally
Speaker 1: thought you free bled on my bed.
Speaker 2: He thought, I know, he thought I fully started my.
Speaker 1: Period because he was out of bed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he jumped back and he was watching me and
Speaker 2: Drew interact, and we were like just being annoying, Like
Speaker 2: Drew just doing exactly what he's doing in front of
Speaker 2: your thing. Oh my god, you were in my bed, Like.
Speaker 1: I mean, I literally don't give a shit.
Speaker 2: But I know, but it literally just the way we
Speaker 2: talked to each other and Josh was watching, but it
Speaker 2: seemed like I had my fucking period on my bed
Speaker 2: to him, And I wonder we should have asked him
Speaker 2: what he thought, because I'm sure, and he.
Speaker 4: Said he was like, damn, give a fun the way
Speaker 4: she the way he jumped out of bed and stood
Speaker 4: like twenty five feet away from you because he thought
Speaker 4: it was your period in the bed And you had
Speaker 4: her stinky fucking period in my bathroom this morning, dog
Speaker 4: surgery two point zero no last night, like and you,
Speaker 4: I have her periods in my brain down pat like
Speaker 4: I know exactly when inya starting her period.
Speaker 3: No, you like snapping?
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, he No, he supports men supporting women.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because there's not enough supporting women.
Speaker 1: There's not enough men support for men.
Speaker 2: There's not enough men randomly in your life, in your
Speaker 2: day to day life, being like, I think you're gonna
Speaker 2: get your periods. That's exactly what this is. But I
Speaker 2: will say Drew is good.
Speaker 1: Always.
Speaker 2: No, it's not my bronze, it it's my dude. I've
Speaker 2: got a little tuned on me.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's not enough male speculation about female periods.
Speaker 1: Yeah, female infamous emphasis on the female. No, I'm really
Speaker 1: in tune with her uterine lining and when it spills
Speaker 1: out of her body, because it's like the universe speaking
Speaker 1: through me to you, if that makes sense.
Speaker 2: No, it's like a week before I hate myself. I'm ugly,
Speaker 2: I'm crashing out. I'm freaking the fuck out, like I
Speaker 2: always am freaking out, but oh I am freaking the
Speaker 2: fuck out, and I genuinely am spiraling.
Speaker 1: And then I'm always like, oh, you might be starting
Speaker 1: your period soon next morning, block work.
Speaker 3: And we should hear that machine out and connect it
Speaker 3: to us.
Speaker 1: You wanna be on camera? Coming so bad?
Speaker 3: I don't know. We don't. I'm just saying it would
Speaker 3: be cool. We don't. We don't really use it, so
Speaker 3: maybe we could use it more.
Speaker 2: There's something deeply, deeply inside of you, like deep inside
Speaker 2: of you.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 2: That okay, no, and see that's what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: That was sick.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't make it.
Speaker 2: There's something inside of you that is me.
Speaker 1: I'm terrifying Drew Phillips more like Drew fills them up.
Speaker 2: Did you come up with that just now?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Drew Phillips. Drew fills people up, people with joy,
Speaker 1: with good dick, with girthy dick.
Speaker 2: He oh, dude, that's disgusting.
Speaker 3: Wasn't your name at the high school? Drew Dick appointment Phillips.
Speaker 1: Yet, I famously had a seizure while getting head.
Speaker 2: That was a rumor they started about you.
Speaker 1: Huh hm.
Speaker 2: I didn't have rumors like I got asked if I
Speaker 2: was a lesbian in front of my class. That was
Speaker 2: kind of ship. I was gonna go too well.
Speaker 1: I also had that because I decided to wear overalls
Speaker 1: short overalls with a pastel geographic undershirt, my glasses and
Speaker 1: Adidas Superstars, and I wondered why.
Speaker 2: People play about a rug rat.
Speaker 1: I really I really did not play with my aesthetic
Speaker 1: log at all. And I I wondered, I wondered why
Speaker 1: I got called the f slur, Like.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, I was wearing ripped skinny jeans, white
Speaker 2: Doc Martins, a flannel around my waist, and like I
Speaker 2: had long red hair that I only wore in like
Speaker 2: a side braid for a full year, like and it
Speaker 2: was like a ginger color. It was like red. So
Speaker 2: I'm not really shocked than anybody had questions because I
Speaker 2: had questions myself.
Speaker 1: I still have questions.
Speaker 3: That was popular.
Speaker 1: I was a quarterback.
Speaker 3: I was a football player.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I was the quarterback superstar with his letterman
Speaker 1: jacket every day. He still wears his letter jacket today, like.
Speaker 2: He's wearing it high school varsity that was like twenty
Speaker 2: years ago.
Speaker 3: Who cares. It was fucking sick and everyone was obsessed
Speaker 3: with me in town. He's athletically very impressive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, when Kai goes back to his neighborhood, literally there's
Speaker 2: a parade.
Speaker 1: More like gighborhood. Okay, okay, well I forgot about that.
Speaker 1: I forgot to talk about this last week.
Speaker 3: That was a really good transition.
Speaker 1: See I forgot to talk about this last week. But
Speaker 1: someone came into my house. Someone came into you are
Speaker 1: not coming to my.
Speaker 2: House, and see, I can't drink this Topo Chico because
Speaker 2: I'm about to get really burpy. Sorry, I keep going.
Speaker 1: And mopped our floors and then poured the mop bucket
Speaker 1: floor water down my two hundred year old.
Speaker 2: Vintage though like they were having fun.
Speaker 1: No, they poured the mop bucket juice down my sink,
Speaker 1: which I'm like, oh, I love them. We key, we
Speaker 1: get down. But like that was a mistake that they
Speaker 1: should not have. No.
Speaker 2: I think they did that at the old apartment too.
Speaker 2: What we're talking about is our old apartment. We would
Speaker 2: get it cleaned by our landlords from and because she
Speaker 2: employs all her friends, so everyone who comes to work
Speaker 2: on anything. I don't know them. I know them through
Speaker 2: my old landlord who likes mind you.
Speaker 1: We would get it cleaned like once every seven months,
Speaker 1: and they would always yell at us. They would always
Speaker 1: be like, you need to do it more often. It's dirty,
Speaker 1: it's nasty, it's dusty.
Speaker 2: But they I think they used to. I think they
Speaker 2: always put the mop stuff down the sink because all
Speaker 2: of our sinks are always fucked up. Yeah, every sink
Speaker 2: is clogged, and I don't think that the pieces together, yeah,
Speaker 2: can make that much.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I've yelled at and I've yelled that, Josh,
Speaker 1: I've yelled at myself about shaving like in the drains,
Speaker 1: like just shave on the floor and then vacuum it up.
Speaker 1: Turns out they were just pouring mop bucket juice.
Speaker 2: It was just like all of Zol's hair that's stuck
Speaker 2: to everything on the floor is just like in the
Speaker 2: sink drain. So we have fur lined sink.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: The point I'm trying to make is they destroyed They
Speaker 1: destroyed that sink, Like it was so bad that a
Speaker 1: plumber came in and was like what happened? Like, how
Speaker 1: did this happen? He had to take my entire sink
Speaker 1: out of the ground, like take the whole thing, the
Speaker 1: whole unit out of the ground to unclog it. Well,
Speaker 1: d you said that. I don't have a picture of
Speaker 1: what was inside, but he said that he was taking
Speaker 1: my sink out of the ground. But based on this video,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking he was doing something worse, something far more sinister.
Speaker 1: To my goddamn sink.
Speaker 2: While trying to fix it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me find that.
Speaker 2: He was fucking the sink. He was fucking the pipe.
Speaker 1: Well, no, literally, I'm not kidding, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I swear to fucking God. Where's this goddamn fucking video
Speaker 1: before I crash out on a bitch like I'm literally
Speaker 1: about to crash out, dude, when you, oh, here we go,
Speaker 1: Here we go. He's laying pipe in it.
Speaker 5: Oh, I know, I don't like that.
Speaker 1: I really don't know, he says. Oh yeah. I mean
Speaker 1: I'm telling you he fucked my sink in there.
Speaker 2: And we don't have enough men like that on this
Speaker 2: planet anymore. That's a real passion for cleaning pipe like.
Speaker 1: You probably fixed.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was gonna say that, Oh yeah, it's probably
Speaker 2: from getting a big fucking fur ball out of your
Speaker 2: sink and feeling the joy that knowing you'll be able
Speaker 2: to brush your teeth in your own bathroom.
Speaker 1: And the sink is fixed. And I don't ask questions
Speaker 1: about how he got it done, but I am pretty
Speaker 1: positive he had sex with the pipes of my sink.
Speaker 2: That is insane.
Speaker 3: No, I feel bad for clowning you, but it does
Speaker 3: sound like he's giving your sink the work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the sink had the wipe its butt crack after.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, he was done with.
Speaker 3: You gave the sink the type of head where it
Speaker 3: had to wipe its ass after.
Speaker 2: You guys are fucking discussed.
Speaker 3: Wait, Drew, are you okay, by the way, because I mean,
Speaker 3: I don't know if you heard there's a trade war?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 3: Wait, yeah, Trump started a trade war.
Speaker 1: There's no like actual actual trade.
Speaker 3: Yeh, like triffs on trade?
Speaker 1: Yeah? How am I going to afford my trade?
Speaker 6: Well?
Speaker 2: The good news is you didn't have much to begin with,
Speaker 2: So it's kind of like if I started caring. It's
Speaker 2: like I don't have trade in the game. You have
Speaker 2: trade in No, you don't have enough trade in care.
Speaker 1: I'm genuinely like not okay, Like I have my trade? Like,
Speaker 1: what am I gonna do?
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's one hundred and four percent tariffs on trade? Now?
Speaker 1: No, how am I going to paint trade?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: How I need to paint trade? It's like a part
Speaker 1: of my life. I have a gay father. We know this.
Speaker 1: I've talked about this before.
Speaker 2: We know this. We know this. He's famously been married
Speaker 2: to Drew's bomb with.
Speaker 1: Twenty five years seven years twenty eight years, but he
Speaker 1: grew up rocky horror picture on the screen our whole life.
Speaker 1: He also loves Broadway to a degree that like not
Speaker 1: even I a game enjoy Say.
Speaker 2: He comes to LA and the one thing he wants
Speaker 2: to do is go to shows.
Speaker 1: That's really he's not too He's not coming to LA
Speaker 1: to see me. He's coming to LA to see the
Speaker 1: goddamn Traveling Neil Diamond Broadway Show because it's the last show.
Speaker 1: It's the last time I'll ever see it. Which I'm like,
Speaker 1: I did see that show and it was actually really good.
Speaker 1: But like why did he see it in New York twice,
Speaker 1: in Dallas once and now he's coming to LA to
Speaker 1: see it a fourth time? Like that's a gay man,
Speaker 1: Like I'm telling you that.
Speaker 2: Is all a game man too, Like I don't hang
Speaker 2: out with Drew's parents when they're in New York because
Speaker 2: all they're doing is going to fucking places. They go
Speaker 2: to like two a day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I love my gay dad and like one
Speaker 1: day he'll be braven to come out of the closet
Speaker 1: to me.
Speaker 2: It's why men can't enjoy anything. If you like theater,
Speaker 2: now you're gay, Like actually, Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you take selfies as a man, you're gay. If
Speaker 1: you like theater as a man, you're gay. If you
Speaker 1: have friends as a man, you're gay.
Speaker 3: Like if you hang like feeling myself and I want
Speaker 3: to take a photo and plus on Instagram?
Speaker 2: Why would you want to do that? Though?
Speaker 1: That's the other men are in your comments sections the
Speaker 1: same you. You look good.
Speaker 2: Girls are not about to be like you look so good.
Speaker 2: You know it's gonna be your boys in your comments like,
Speaker 2: it's not going to.
Speaker 3: Be the is always Mason.
Speaker 2: It's I know Mason is going to hype both. Like
Speaker 2: even the way y'all hype each other up, men hype
Speaker 2: each other up in the gayest way ever. It's such
Speaker 2: a joke for girls because girls do it too. But
Speaker 2: I'm like, bro, we are like men. The way y'all
Speaker 2: compliment each other is really freaky. I was doing my
Speaker 2: laundry while they were like in here before we got
Speaker 2: to the episode.
Speaker 1: But do you do laundry?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Gay? Do you do dishes?
Speaker 3: Yes? I do. I enjoy it gay.
Speaker 1: Do you eat Kiwis yeah? Bisexual?
Speaker 2: I don't like Kiwi's.
Speaker 1: Do you sit out in the sun sometimes when I'm cold? Oh?
Speaker 2: That's straight, that's really straight straight, and that.
Speaker 1: Was borderline geriatric.
Speaker 2: Too much, that was too much, like I don't know
Speaker 2: how to describe it. Like I should be going in
Speaker 2: the sun because like it's fun and the sun is
Speaker 2: going to make you happy and like it's gonna bring
Speaker 2: some color to your life.
Speaker 3: Like not because I realize that I haven't moved all
Speaker 3: day and I'm going to my bones, like my bones
Speaker 3: feel cold bones everything.
Speaker 2: Even if that's what it is, you need to lie
Speaker 2: to yourself. I've been lying to myself a lot and
Speaker 2: it works so well. It works like a charm. Like
Speaker 2: I just genuinely, I'm like, today is going to be
Speaker 2: the best day ever, and it could be the worst
Speaker 2: day ever, but I'm like, wow, I.
Speaker 1: Have been going on a lot of walks recently, and
Speaker 1: y'all bitches were not lying about walks like every like
Speaker 1: I'll be like having the worst day ever and I'll
Speaker 1: go on an hour long walk and come back home
Speaker 1: and life is good. God is good.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I've avoided my cardiologist for three years, dodged all the calls.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, still dodging them. I'm not even kidding. They still
Speaker 1: call me every once in a while. Well because also
Speaker 1: they're probably just gonna tell me I have a fucking
Speaker 1: heart murmur or something, and then I'm fine, but like
Speaker 1: just be careful, and I'm like, no, they're just going
Speaker 1: to try to get me to stop fucking vaping and
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that. He say, your cholesterol is too high,
Speaker 1: eat healthy.
Speaker 2: No, I mean yeah, I will say all the advice
Speaker 2: I've gotten from doctors that I can think about. Although
Speaker 2: fell stupid, it was good advice.
Speaker 3: I'm just tired of going to the doctors because they're
Speaker 3: so annoying, and I'm always there because of the bugs
Speaker 3: in my skin. And then also, well, my roommate is
Speaker 3: a battery, and I feel like I could probably a battery. Yeah,
Speaker 3: he's a battery, and he's always like recording me and stuff,
Speaker 3: and then he'll follow me like he's recording me out there,
Speaker 3: and so I'm always like telling the doctors like he's
Speaker 3: a battery, Like he's a circuit board, like he's a
Speaker 3: part of like a larger computer, and he's the power source.
Speaker 3: And they're so annoying, they're like, please go back to.
Speaker 1: Your room, Please go to the hospital.
Speaker 2: For real reason, I can't like, because I.
Speaker 1: Feel like you're really a battery calling a person of
Speaker 1: batteries a part of them.
Speaker 2: Wow, that was like the hardest I think you've ever
Speaker 2: made us laugh.
Speaker 3: Like congrats, I think it was.
Speaker 1: Actually No, that was and you're sitting back like.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna yeah, I feel good about that. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: put that into the YouTube episode.
Speaker 2: Like, honestly, I give you for rison because I was
Speaker 2: funny as far. Fuck what the fuck was I gonna say?
Speaker 6: Now?
Speaker 2: See now I take it back, bitch, because you've thrown
Speaker 2: me off my like trail of thought.
Speaker 3: Oh I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Did I tell them I have like got diagnosed with
Speaker 1: low vitamin D?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Yeah I got. I got put on like a mega
Speaker 1: dose of vitamin D, which is just a doctor coming
Speaker 1: over here in rayle and pipe and give me back
Speaker 1: shots three times a day.
Speaker 2: You have a at home doctor who just comes here
Speaker 2: to fuck you.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 1: No, I literally went to the doctor, got my blood
Speaker 1: work done and do it every year for my birthday,
Speaker 1: clean on everything, clean on everything. I have syphilis, No,
Speaker 1: but get my blood work done every year. I accidentally,
Speaker 1: Oh my fucking god, wait, I can't believe I forgot
Speaker 1: to tell this. So we all know that. About a
Speaker 1: year ago, I went to a doctor and they just
Speaker 1: somehow lost my fucking blood. Like they they kept they
Speaker 1: sent my yearine for your analysis, but the blood they
Speaker 1: took just vanished into thin air and I never got
Speaker 1: the results from my blood.
Speaker 2: That's actually how a lot of movies get their prop blood, right.
Speaker 1: Do down write that down?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I really think they cloned me, and I think like
Speaker 1: something sinister or dark is going on. I think they
Speaker 1: sold my blood to the black market, but they lost
Speaker 1: my blood. Well. I booked an appointment and then when
Speaker 1: I pulled up, I was like, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is the same fucking clinic that lost my blood. Well,
Speaker 1: I clocked their shit. I was like, yeah, last time
Speaker 1: I was here. They were like have you been here before?
Speaker 1: And I was like yeah, and they were like did
Speaker 1: you get your blood taken? What was the results? And
Speaker 1: I was like, I did get my blood taken, y'all
Speaker 1: didn't give me the results, Like what the fuck? And
Speaker 1: they were like, oh, well, we have the results right here.
Speaker 1: You're negative. And I was like, yeah, fucking right, don't
Speaker 1: lie in my fucking face right now. But whatever they
Speaker 1: took my blood. Everything was chill except I had high
Speaker 1: cholesterol and violently low vitamin D, like.
Speaker 2: Like milligrams did you get put on?
Speaker 1: Because they gave him like I well, first they were
Speaker 1: like oh, like they were like, you're vitamin D solow.
Speaker 1: You can't just take a vitamin for this, like you
Speaker 1: have to take this prescription strength vitamin D. Haven't been
Speaker 1: taking it, by the way, because like I'm scared of it,
Speaker 1: like destabilizing.
Speaker 2: What's destabilizing about it is you were like, you don't
Speaker 2: have any vitamin D. One time drew out these vitamin
Speaker 2: D because he doesn't leave the house, which is like whatever,
Speaker 2: that's no, No, I don't want to get too much on.
Speaker 2: But one time he got into taking vitamin D and
Speaker 2: he stopped taking it because he said that's just not normal.
Speaker 2: It made me feel like so happy for a few hours,
Speaker 2: and then I crashed. I'm like, yeah, it's because you
Speaker 2: were fucking like you don't have sufficient amounts of vitamin
Speaker 2: D to keep you fucking stable.
Speaker 7: Ho.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, you should take your vitamins or I'm gonna
Speaker 2: start taking them. I go outside enough. I want to
Speaker 2: know what od on vitamin D is gonna do to me.
Speaker 1: That's oh, I can show you that come on that
Speaker 1: me up, You're lucky. I don't know where the fucking
Speaker 1: balls are.
Speaker 2: I thought they were right there.
Speaker 1: No, they're gone. I got rid of them. But yeah,
Speaker 1: so I have low vitamin D and I don't know
Speaker 1: where I was going with that story. Oh I started
Speaker 1: taking walk. They said, they said, okay, like take this
Speaker 1: vitamin D and then go outside in the sun with
Speaker 1: eighty percent of your skin exposed. So I've been going
Speaker 1: on walks with like thirty percent of my skin exposed.
Speaker 1: But really, really like they're they're they weren't lying about
Speaker 1: those walks. Like I feel after a walk, I'm so high,
Speaker 1: I'm so up. I'm like, I'm just baseline. But I
Speaker 1: just function. Yeah, I function at like a level that's
Speaker 1: below low just day to day. So when I get
Speaker 1: that good vitamin D, I'm baseline and I feel good.
Speaker 1: But I think I'm gonna start taking the vitamin D.
Speaker 1: But also I don't feel like I even need to
Speaker 1: because I get I feel like I don't need to
Speaker 1: because the sun in my room literally sunburns met every
Speaker 1: I know.
Speaker 2: I will say, Now, I don't know if that's gonna be.
Speaker 2: I mean, you should just sleep with no sheets on
Speaker 2: and sleep the other way, so your whole body is
Speaker 2: covered in sun. But I've been sleeping in Drew's room
Speaker 2: every fucking night for.
Speaker 1: Me, Actually haven't not, we we haven't. We've slept together
Speaker 1: more than we haven't slept together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, ever since we moved, we've been, especially ever since
Speaker 2: you got a bigger bed. We've been sleeping together every
Speaker 2: fucking night.
Speaker 1: Love that. And I can't. I always like accidentally end
Speaker 1: up cuddling in you or vice versa.
Speaker 2: There's no accidents here though, but I.
Speaker 1: Did cuddle Oryan on accident.
Speaker 2: I just think if I'm sharing a bed with somebody,
Speaker 2: just like be open to that because that's gonna happen.
Speaker 1: Like we have been doing this thing recently where I
Speaker 1: make and you hug me for twenty two seconds because
Speaker 1: it promotes oxytocin and a bond and it like makes
Speaker 1: you feel good.
Speaker 2: I just got sent this thing today that was talking
Speaker 2: about how.
Speaker 1: Or seven seconds kiss your choice. Yeah, it'll be faster,
Speaker 1: one will feel better.
Speaker 2: I kind of think the hug would feel better.
Speaker 1: I'm famously a good kisser.
Speaker 2: Famously how many famously kissing. Oh you guys are.
Speaker 3: Finding the way that I left a snail trail. The
Speaker 3: last Kiss You a male snail trail.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I read this thing that was talking about how
Speaker 2: if you cry in front of somebody during like a
Speaker 2: vulnerable moment, it releases a bunch of.
Speaker 1: Uh oxy oxy cotton oxytocin. Yeah, I've been taking a
Speaker 1: bunch of oxy cotton recently to like.
Speaker 2: I just can't stop taking it.
Speaker 1: I just can't. Every time I stop taking it, I
Speaker 1: like break out and sweat and I shake I shit
Speaker 1: out of my ass liquid my bones feel like the.
Speaker 2: Rat a hangover that never ends. But also it's like
Speaker 2: a hangover. But I accidentally did like K two.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I see like babies crawling on the ceiling,
Speaker 1: like I hallucinate bad. So then I just take it
Speaker 1: and I feel better. It's like really crazy. Actually, guys,
Speaker 1: I went through opium withdrawal at one point in my life.
Speaker 1: Suck my digging balls like literally, actually.
Speaker 2: I mean, opioids are lucky they haven't seen me coming,
Speaker 2: because you'll lose me. A you know, I want to
Speaker 2: lose me, but I know I want to lose me.
Speaker 3: Drew, do you know the guy? You know, it's like
Speaker 3: this ball guy with a beard that says crazy shit
Speaker 3: about like his.
Speaker 1: Penis, oh, his stink portal?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, do you know what that guy's name is?
Speaker 3: I wanted to pull it up.
Speaker 1: No, I don't know his name because he's always talking
Speaker 1: about in the sun. I've been liking all of his
Speaker 1: posts on ig recently. Let me look at this and actually,
Speaker 1: you know, it's so funny. Oh my god. I'll be
Speaker 1: scrolling through my reels on my side account that I
Speaker 1: follow him on and he likes literally everything, like he
Speaker 1: likes every video ever. It's like really crazy, that's.
Speaker 2: Kind of amazing. I want to get more into liking things.
Speaker 2: I'm not even kidding, like liking things on Instagram and
Speaker 2: TikTok because I'll see something that I like, but I
Speaker 2: don't like it, and I want to just get into
Speaker 2: liking guys. We should spread the love and go and
Speaker 2: like all of my ig pictures.
Speaker 1: Right now it will blunder filleds Yeah I found his ig.
Speaker 1: Oh I just had a beautiful I hate it so mush.
Speaker 4: For me ew I actually that makes me so mad.
Speaker 2: That's disgusting, Like that is disgusting.
Speaker 1: That every once in a while a picture of his
Speaker 1: will pop up on my feet and it's like him
Speaker 1: playing the piano naked on stage in front of like
Speaker 1: five hundred people seventeen years ago, and I'm like, what
Speaker 1: is his life? But he talks about his stink portal
Speaker 1: and that guy shouldn't disgusting?
Speaker 2: Is that what he's calling his fucking.
Speaker 1: Weimer his butthole? And he thinks guys should like hook
Speaker 1: up more often because it promotes masculinity. I mean yeah,
Speaker 1: and like getting another man seemen inside of you is
Speaker 1: like the most masculine thing you can.
Speaker 3: Do, and.
Speaker 1: Getting his hummus inside of your stink port I mean, like.
Speaker 2: Honestly, to each their own, but I can see where
Speaker 2: he's coming from on that idea.
Speaker 1: What do you go on in your notes, babe?
Speaker 3: Say?
Speaker 2: Crazy?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I need to know what you gotta say.
Speaker 2: Okay, well, first of all, I need to acknowledge my
Speaker 2: fucking name room. Like my nails. I need to talk
Speaker 2: about these nails. I haven't had nails for so long,
Speaker 2: and I did not intend on getting nails, let alone
Speaker 2: fucking aqua marine cat eye, shiny nails that are coffin shape,
Speaker 2: which I don't think is my or almond shape, which
Speaker 2: I don't think is my shape.
Speaker 1: I see, I like that shape, on you, I think.
Speaker 2: Well, I like, I don't hate them. I'm actually really
Speaker 2: glad with the decisions I made. I got French tiptoes
Speaker 2: and aqua marine ass. Fuck.
Speaker 1: Do you know actually I literally hate that shape on
Speaker 1: you because like when you're playing with my buttole it
Speaker 1: like literally hurts so fucking bad.
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding, Like, there is no amount of money
Speaker 2: you could pay me to go anywhere near a man's
Speaker 2: bathole even mine. No no, no really no no no
Speaker 2: no no no no no no no no no.
Speaker 1: No, okay, I honestly I'm not going to push back
Speaker 1: on that because I.
Speaker 2: Agree it's just disgusting.
Speaker 1: But holes dudes hooking up a dude, this is so.
Speaker 2: Fucked Okay, no, girl, I didn't mean I like that.
Speaker 2: That's just not my cup of tea. That's fucking disgusting
Speaker 2: to me personally. I would just never go near a
Speaker 2: man's fucking butt. That's fucking nasty. I just like I
Speaker 2: think naturally, I think men are dirty, but I've just
Speaker 2: always like felt that.
Speaker 1: In my uh, men are nasty and dirty and stinky.
Speaker 2: But your nails, oh, I was taken by I bite
Speaker 2: my nails really bad, and I just can't stop unless
Speaker 2: I have my nails done.
Speaker 1: But I just can't stop coming.
Speaker 2: I just can't stop coming. But my nails were really gnarly.
Speaker 2: So my friend took me to get my nails done,
Speaker 2: my friend being Rain, and I was like, Okay, I'm
Speaker 2: just gonna go in and get like a regular manny petty.
Speaker 2: And I went in and then I was just kind
Speaker 2: of like, this happened, bro, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I think you asked for these and you're trying to
Speaker 1: cover it.
Speaker 2: Okay, So here's how I went. My nails were really
Speaker 2: fucked up.
Speaker 1: How this happen my nails.
Speaker 2: My nails were really fucked up? Bro? And I don't
Speaker 2: do nails anymore for my own personal reasons whatever, like decisions, decisions,
Speaker 2: decisions in this life. I'd rather have short nails.
Speaker 1: But why did you get those nails?
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you? But yeah, I went in there and
Speaker 2: I was like, honestly, I would like a longer nail,
Speaker 2: like I haven't had long nails in a while. Like
Speaker 2: I'd be down for a long nail, but I usually
Speaker 2: get like a coffin chip. And then I showed my
Speaker 2: nails to the girl and I was like oh, can
Speaker 2: I get extensions or like just like something short. I
Speaker 2: was like, I want something really short, and she just
Speaker 2: looked at my hands and she was like, no, almond
Speaker 2: and I was just like what and she was like,
Speaker 2: I think for your hands like short almond shape. And
Speaker 2: then I was like okay, and I just let her
Speaker 2: do it, and she just did it. And then I
Speaker 2: was looking at the colors and I was looking at
Speaker 2: some glitters and then she pointed at this one or
Speaker 2: a really bright red version of this, and I just
Speaker 2: was like I don't know, like I don't know, and
Speaker 2: I couldn't decide and she kept asking me. So then
Speaker 2: I just pointed to the blue and I was like,
Speaker 2: that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna do that one.
Speaker 2: I guess like that that's a good one. I don't know.
Speaker 2: She told me to do it, so I fucking did it.
Speaker 2: Like I'm really easily. Yeah, I'm really like, it doesn't
Speaker 2: take much. I'm just like sure, I'll go. And honestly,
Speaker 2: like I knew when I said yes, I had like
Speaker 2: thirty minutes to back up on that decision, but I
Speaker 2: was too much of a pussy to be like, actually,
Speaker 2: I don't like your idea. I don't want to do
Speaker 2: your idea.
Speaker 1: I wait, wait, can you not use that word? It's
Speaker 1: really degrading towards when?
Speaker 2: Oh what which one the p word? What word did
Speaker 2: I say?
Speaker 1: I don't kai watch your mouth? Sorry to keep going.
Speaker 3: I'll allow you to keep going, and thank you for
Speaker 3: calling me out.
Speaker 2: I'm not allowed to say pussy. But what was I saying?
Speaker 6: Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And then I just left and I felt fucking insane
Speaker 2: because I've never had a color like this, and I've
Speaker 2: never had French tip toes, and I'm just like, I
Speaker 2: feel bashit crazy. But at least it's gonna be sunny
Speaker 2: this week.
Speaker 1: God, I know it really is. The sun is out.
Speaker 1: This sun is out.
Speaker 2: I was like, damn, this is how I know. Like
Speaker 2: I've kind of gone umpoco loco because this is never
Speaker 2: something I would have done, but I'm kind of into it.
Speaker 2: I think, like I want to go get them replaced
Speaker 2: with like French tip, Like.
Speaker 1: Why don't you just paint them a different color?
Speaker 2: You you know nothing? That was the craziest thing you
Speaker 2: could have ever said, you know nothing. If only it
Speaker 2: was that simple, if it was that our.
Speaker 1: Small you are, fuck, I could destroy you you're an idiot,
Speaker 1: and you yells at me like that. She calls me
Speaker 1: small and weak.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Oh no, now I'm the bad guy.
Speaker 1: What she says, you're small, You're week. She says, you're small,
Speaker 1: You're weak, your jaw is too wide, your hair cut
Speaker 1: is fucked up. Wait, Ki, how do I look today?
Speaker 3: Really good? Oh my god, your hair looks really good
Speaker 3: and your skin looks super clear.
Speaker 1: I have I haven't washed my face in three days,
Speaker 1: just with water. I've been I've decided that I wanted
Speaker 1: to stop you. That is literally a lie. I washed
Speaker 1: my face last night. Never mind, I take that back.
Speaker 2: You know what's fucked up is I know what road
Speaker 2: you're going down. And that's why I'm saying like it's
Speaker 2: okay if we're crazy people, because this is just what
Speaker 2: it is. I know because I recently, I have for
Speaker 2: the past few months, been in a mental state where
Speaker 2: like I am not buying anything for my self care.
Speaker 2: That's a whole other thing. I have bought soup right
Speaker 2: now because I took it from Drew. But there was
Speaker 2: genuinely like a week what.
Speaker 3: You said the beaver, Well, he's not going to say
Speaker 3: the other word out.
Speaker 1: Of respect there you keep going, yeah, and you actually
Speaker 1: had soap.
Speaker 2: I had bars off.
Speaker 1: So Ya has not been buying anything for herself. She
Speaker 1: for the first time in my life, I felt, I
Speaker 1: feel like what it probably felt like for you when
Speaker 1: I didn't buy anything for myself.
Speaker 2: For like a year and you would just take my
Speaker 2: sh what I've been doing.
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't give a ship, like literally zero
Speaker 1: part of me cares, but like it.
Speaker 2: Is but within that like spiral that's been happening this
Speaker 2: whole year, because it kind of started at the top
Speaker 2: of the year, maybe even later, like after the holidays,
Speaker 2: Like I just so I haven't been buying that ship.
Speaker 2: And really genuinely, there was a passing thought where I
Speaker 2: was like it was turning in my bathroom but looking
Speaker 2: and I was like, fuck, dude, I need to make
Speaker 2: a list of things I'm missing because I'm at the
Speaker 2: point where like I just have all these expired creams
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I hope this works.
Speaker 1: I hope it pay off.
Speaker 2: This office time.
Speaker 1: And he's wearing a skirt, What the fuck was that?
Speaker 2: And my toes are out, What the fuck.
Speaker 1: Was that guy?
Speaker 3: I didn't even think about that. It was just a bit.
Speaker 1: Was the real so camera because that was so funny.
Speaker 1: Why are you taking pictures of it?
Speaker 3: I was just trying to do a creepy bit. I
Speaker 3: don't know.
Speaker 1: I mean, it wasn't a bit. It was just that
Speaker 1: was hilarious. I'm glad you did that.
Speaker 2: You are so brave and bury and I love that
Speaker 2: about you.
Speaker 1: I immediately backtracked the second I thought the second the
Speaker 1: second you were like, oh god.
Speaker 2: Fuck, what was I saying? Oh? Yeah, the delusion that
Speaker 2: I literally was like maybe like I was meant to
Speaker 2: be like a more natural person where I only use
Speaker 2: one soap on my whole entire body and it's the
Speaker 2: same soap for my hair and my body, and like
Speaker 2: my like maybe I just like stopped doing all Like
Speaker 2: it literally was me going into a world of like
Speaker 2: these things are too worldly, Like I was like standing here.
Speaker 2: I remember, I was like, no, that's is too world Okay,
Speaker 2: Now Riiser is not too worldly because we're kind of
Speaker 2: being sold the idea to stink because I think I'm
Speaker 2: going back to like the og deodorance and shit, that's
Speaker 2: kind of where I landed.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, I was going to say, I've
Speaker 1: been looking at my products recently, and that's why I
Speaker 1: took like a small little break because I was like,
Speaker 1: what am I putting on my skin?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 1: What are these chemicals? Like they're absorbed, Like this is
Speaker 1: my biggest organ and I'm just lathering it in fucking
Speaker 1: kims and cybernetics, Like literally, what is going on? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I stopped buying all.
Speaker 3: For your ticket hit from a bite before I hit
Speaker 3: my vape in dream.
Speaker 1: But that's fine.
Speaker 2: That's why I like reeled back in my delusion because
Speaker 2: I was like, this is too worldly. And then I'd
Speaker 2: be like, Okay, where's my weed pen, where's my vape?
Speaker 2: I'm gonna put both.
Speaker 1: Of those in my pot. I think actually there's an
Speaker 1: argument that vapes and weed pins aren't of this world.
Speaker 3: Oh it's an alien technology.
Speaker 1: It's either alien technology or it is God. Feel like
Speaker 1: that I kind of believe. I believe that technology is God,
Speaker 1: Like these cables are God I have. I'm starting to
Speaker 1: believe that.
Speaker 3: It does feel like some sort of like foreshadowing to
Speaker 3: like the Singularity or something. Seeing somebody plug a vape
Speaker 3: into a laptop to charge it and then they like inhale,
Speaker 3: I actually charge.
Speaker 2: My computer with my that's actually how I access all
Speaker 2: my memory? So you should you should quit while you're
Speaker 2: a head.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Anytime I forget something, I just plug it into my
Speaker 2: laptop and I hit it and I'm like, oh shit,
Speaker 2: I have texts to reply to. I just call all
Speaker 2: the notifications in my head.
Speaker 1: Sorry.
Speaker 3: True what happened?
Speaker 2: M He started thinking about technology.
Speaker 6: Literally, I'm not that I already know that though some
Speaker 6: breaking because I was like, dude, you guys are going
Speaker 6: down to Pathward three is actually to get scared, like
Speaker 6: he can't reel it in like me, like I can
Speaker 6: get a bit cuckoo, and I'm like, okay, loco, like
Speaker 6: let's back up, Drew will go.
Speaker 3: He's gone.
Speaker 1: He literally, guy's so scared.
Speaker 2: Drew's version of like his brain is that song that's like,
Speaker 2: well Horses and instead of not the Sunday's one, the
Speaker 2: fucking other one, Prince one, not the Prince one and
Speaker 2: not the prefrap prefab the one whichever one's on fucking
Speaker 2: TikTok that y'all are going outside and recording to Drew's brain.
Speaker 2: Is that but wild Horses is playing and it's literally
Speaker 2: like ideas of horrors and robots taking over mankind.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's less about robots and it's just more about extistentialism.
Speaker 2: I can just turn that off. That's what I did.
Speaker 3: I'm so jealous of that.
Speaker 8: I'm serious, I really I kept thinking of being able
Speaker 8: to turn I was really starting to think, like, oh,
Speaker 8: like meditation for me is broken, Like I try to
Speaker 8: meditate and my brain runs free and da da da
Speaker 8: da da da da da da.
Speaker 1: I don't know where I was going with that. I
Speaker 1: lost it. Wait, I was going to say something dreams, dreams,
Speaker 1: dream dreams.
Speaker 2: My law across the line is what were you saying?
Speaker 2: Once I did, Josh, you were like three bagus, Like
Speaker 2: you kept repeating to him your in and out order,
Speaker 2: and you kept doing it like a prince, and I
Speaker 2: could never like redo the voice you did.
Speaker 1: I literally have no idea what I want to ask Josh.
Speaker 2: I don't remember if it was your Josh, though it
Speaker 2: might have been Josh, because that sounds way funnier coming
Speaker 2: from Josh.
Speaker 3: Do you remember. I think it was your birthday where
Speaker 3: we had this like fucked up order at in and out.
Speaker 3: It was like thirty burgers or something. Yeah, and then
Speaker 3: you roll down the window. It was like a girl
Speaker 3: who like knew about the podcast, Like I felt so.
Speaker 1: Bad because it was like four hundred Burgers and it
Speaker 1: was like for like thirty people, and it.
Speaker 2: Was thirty people. Was also like it was our whole. Yeah,
Speaker 2: it was like maybe like ten people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I got everybody Burgers paid for it
Speaker 1: with my card and I didn't even get my fucking burger.
Speaker 1: Someone ate my burger.
Speaker 9: Oh.
Speaker 1: Also, I went to in and out. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know what, like I'm gonna eat as fuck, Like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna eat down. I haven't really been eating good
Speaker 1: this last week, Like I'm gonna eat as fuck, like
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go crazy. And I have my order down pad.
Speaker 1: I get a double. I get a double with cheese
Speaker 1: whole grilled onions, and then I get a Flying Dutchman
Speaker 1: with the grilled onions on the outside, and I get
Speaker 1: cheese fries, and I get a cherry coke and then
Speaker 1: I get three cholesterol I have, Yeah, I have high cholesterol, y'all.
Speaker 1: It's really bad. It's not it's not it's not technically
Speaker 1: high cholesterol. It's like point two points above normal of
Speaker 1: this like protein or some shit that is attached to
Speaker 1: high cholesterol. So I don't have high cholesterol, but I
Speaker 1: claim I have high cholesterol because it's funny. But I
Speaker 1: also get three orders of peppers because you can bite
Speaker 1: the tips off and squeeze this spicy juice on your
Speaker 1: burgers and fries. And then I get two packs of spread. Well,
Speaker 1: I did my whole order, came home, checked the bag,
Speaker 1: no fries, no cheese, fries, didn't give me my fries,
Speaker 1: gave me a regular burger, no cheese, whole onions not grilled,
Speaker 1: and then gave me just a slice of meat with
Speaker 1: a melted piece of cheese on top. I did get
Speaker 1: my cherry coke, no peppers. What is this about?
Speaker 2: Honestly, my vite. If I worked there, literally like I
Speaker 2: would just be going crazy. I would have a pen
Speaker 2: in my back pocket and I would just be high
Speaker 2: as fun. Whatever the fuck came to me.
Speaker 1: It's like that Club Penguin game or that cake making game,
Speaker 1: the pizza making game in Club Penguin. That's what. But no, yeah,
Speaker 1: it is a complicated order, and it's like whatever and
Speaker 1: in and outs ran through and I really do feel
Speaker 1: bad for those workers every time, because I.
Speaker 2: Don't established me on the fucking planet.
Speaker 1: Like I'm not even kidding like like this, saying they're
Speaker 1: braver than the Marines, like they literally are. Zamar worked
Speaker 1: that in.
Speaker 2: And out for yeah you remember, and then he worked
Speaker 2: at Trader Joe's for a second too after that. Or
Speaker 2: maybe I'm tripping, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 3: He did well. I'll I'll just have like some almonds
Speaker 3: throughout the day, I know before.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I eat a couple of ice chips, I'll have
Speaker 1: some water with and you eat.
Speaker 2: I kind of eat whatever my fucking heart desires. Like
Speaker 2: I literally like if something's around, I'll eat out, I know,
Speaker 2: and I'll make fun of it.
Speaker 1: You're in You're in my era, like my garbage disposal era.
Speaker 2: I'm in my eater era, and I'm in a theater. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you are my feeder. Drew always gets me food and
Speaker 2: then I just eat his scraps. That's actually I guess
Speaker 2: I kind of have been the garbage disposal this week.
Speaker 2: That's been my duty. Is anybody who has food left around,
Speaker 2: I've just been eating it. And also, I think if
Speaker 2: I'm gonna die from some freak accident, it's probably gonna
Speaker 2: be food bacteria or like such. Yeah, like votulism or
Speaker 2: some shit. Because since I was a kid. My biggest
Speaker 2: bear is putting something that's warm in the fridge too soon,
Speaker 2: and then I don't know really what happens. I just
Speaker 2: know people die from that shit, and I can't get
Speaker 2: myself to look it up because then I will think
Speaker 2: about it every waking moment.
Speaker 3: You're not supposed to put warm stuff in the fridge.
Speaker 2: You'll die if it's in a hot container because condensation
Speaker 2: and like it'll like speed up bacteria growth.
Speaker 1: It's like the temperature is stays in the sweet spot
Speaker 1: for bacteria to grow longer, So you're supposed to wait
Speaker 1: for it to get room temperature and then put it in.
Speaker 1: I don't believe that.
Speaker 2: But also I grew up with a family who would
Speaker 2: make big tubs of soup and leave it on the stove.
Speaker 2: And the way we kept it good was you would
Speaker 2: heat it up every day till you ran.
Speaker 1: I mean that makes sense to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you killed the bacteria. You're burning it and that's
Speaker 2: why my my immune system is so strong.
Speaker 1: Have I told them about the crows yet? Oh my god, No,
Speaker 1: there's been so many crows around this house, like, and
Speaker 1: it's starting to feel like when I thought people were
Speaker 1: filming me through my window and the headlights were speaking
Speaker 1: to me. There are so many crows around the house.
Speaker 2: I think you should definitely just look into the.
Speaker 1: I also got a picture of them.
Speaker 3: You what's it called a good omen? So I wouldn't
Speaker 3: worry about that.
Speaker 2: I think it's also it's famously spring, and they might
Speaker 2: just be literally moving.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I got a picture of them, and I
Speaker 1: honestly think it might be us in a past life
Speaker 1: where is it? Or it might be us in every life.
Speaker 2: So the evil omen is the crows that have been
Speaker 2: following you around. And you saw two crows and that's us.
Speaker 1: But they've I've saw them this morning, I saw they
Speaker 1: all day yesterday.
Speaker 2: I can lie. Can we go bird watching?
Speaker 1: That's literally please? Are you kidding me? Everybody? Right now,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put oh wait, no those.
Speaker 2: I didn't see anything else, but you're so in a way.
Speaker 1: But no, I'm gonna put on this app that my
Speaker 1: mom showed me. It's called Merlin Bird. I d you
Speaker 1: put in like what like area area you live in
Speaker 1: or what area you're visiting, and you have to download
Speaker 1: bird pecks like specific to like the region you're in,
Speaker 1: and you click the record button and it listens for
Speaker 1: birds in your area, and then based off of the
Speaker 1: bird call that the app heres, it tells you what
Speaker 1: bird you're hearing. And it's literally so lit. Every time
Speaker 1: we go to Big Sir, I like can identify all
Speaker 1: of the owls and the birds flying for birds, it's Sniffy's.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're an as what Sniffy's.
Speaker 3: You guys know what's you know what Sniffy's is you especially?
Speaker 2: Is it like a fabreeze thing like an air?
Speaker 1: No, it's always it's if you're sick.
Speaker 2: No, it's oh, it's like, oh it's congestion.
Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: No, keep going. It's just he's gonna.
Speaker 1: It's like this, it's good and sorry.
Speaker 3: I just it's like this app where there's like penises
Speaker 3: and then you can like go, you can go suck
Speaker 3: them basically based off of like your radius. This is
Speaker 3: what I've heard, this is what you've.
Speaker 1: Told me, but apparently pointing to me.
Speaker 3: I'm just saying, like we've talked about this one time
Speaker 3: off Larchmont. Do you know what is? It's like Burger lounge.
Speaker 3: I think hmm. I was really depressed in like twenty eighteen.
Speaker 3: We know this, but I would like go in there
Speaker 3: all the time and there's this really cute girl that
Speaker 3: worked at the cash register, and I was always like,
Speaker 3: she's really pretty, but straight up couldn't even make out
Speaker 3: of contact with her. One time I was there when
Speaker 3: it was like pretty late, I was like the only
Speaker 3: one in the restaurant, and then she came up and
Speaker 3: was like, hey, like, do you want to free lemonade?
Speaker 3: I just like made this if you want it, and
Speaker 3: then I was like thank you, and I just like
Speaker 3: got up and left. But I always think about that
Speaker 3: whenever whenever I passed by the restaurant, I'm like, where
Speaker 3: is she? I fucked up, dude, can you find me?
Speaker 2: Fucking quit? Scared the fuck out of her, just like
Speaker 2: the guy who got me there all time swim and
Speaker 2: he took it and ran away. He's in tell me, yeah,
Speaker 2: that's sweet. I feel like that's one of those things
Speaker 2: where it's like how things sound when it's from somebody
Speaker 2: you like versus somebody you don't know well, and it's
Speaker 2: that fucking TikTok. We were cracking up. It's like, dude,
Speaker 2: his weird ass drove fifteen minutes out of his way
Speaker 2: to give me a fucking coffee, like he knew my order.
Speaker 2: And if that comes for zone, you know, it's like, oh, like,
Speaker 2: that's what it was like.
Speaker 1: If someone drives fifteen minutes to give you a coffee
Speaker 1: at work and it's someone you don't want.
Speaker 2: It's if somebody does anything for me, I question it
Speaker 2: because I have issues about everything and nothing to me.
Speaker 2: You back there and stalk her.
Speaker 3: I think this was years ago. She's probably like a
Speaker 3: CEO of some company. Now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's probably wild and she's like, remember, she's gonna
Speaker 2: make one of those picture. Its gonna be you, and
Speaker 2: it's gonna be like that time that I gave this
Speaker 2: sad guy.
Speaker 1: The lowest point of that guy. He's a motivational speaker now.
Speaker 1: And it's like the lowest point of her life was
Speaker 1: when she was attracted.
Speaker 3: It was a rock bottom for me.
Speaker 2: Also, you're such a tweak because I'm sure you could
Speaker 2: have spoken to her, and I guess maybe all weren't
Speaker 2: meant to day. She probably found like a guy who
Speaker 2: could like build a table and stuff.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she probably got a better days for her, protect
Speaker 3: her and shit, which is fine. I'm happy for her. Whatever.
Speaker 1: Every single night.
Speaker 2: Every single night, and every single.
Speaker 1: Day, every single night in bed, I grapple with the
Speaker 1: idea of if I should go to sleep or if
Speaker 1: I should spend sixty dollars in bed every night.
Speaker 2: I guess yeah, I mean using your phone now is
Speaker 2: literally like, fuck, I really hope I use this and
Speaker 2: I don't buy something stupid?
Speaker 1: Should I sleep or spend sixty dollars?
Speaker 2: Mine is should I sleep or should I Actually this
Speaker 2: wave of motivation and lust for life I have. Should
Speaker 2: I sit on this and stay up all fucking night
Speaker 2: and have the best day of my life tomorrow? And
Speaker 2: then I usually end up going to for you have the.
Speaker 3: Best night ever? Chicken jockey?
Speaker 7: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah? What? Hello?
Speaker 2: Okay? Wait?
Speaker 1: Actually, had the fuck was that?
Speaker 2: Have y'all seen what is it called? Million Dollar Secret?
Speaker 1: You know I haven't seen that?
Speaker 2: Well, I know you haven't seen a motherfucker. I was
Speaker 2: asking this.
Speaker 1: Motherfucker, why do you look at you?
Speaker 2: I didn't want to add the fucking question. Fine, I'll
Speaker 2: just talk to Kay. Have you seen million dollars?
Speaker 3: That is?
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm gonna explain to you what it is. It's
Speaker 2: this reality show that, from what I'm gathering, is kind
Speaker 2: of like a copycat of just like a jubilee or
Speaker 2: a mole game whatever whatever. The semantics of it don't
Speaker 2: matter to me, but it's basically, one person has a
Speaker 2: million dollars and they have to lie to the whole
Speaker 2: cast that they're on this game show with about who
Speaker 2: has the million dollars in the last liar standing gets
Speaker 2: to walk away with it. But the most interesting part
Speaker 2: about this fucking show is they give them these weird tasks.
Speaker 2: So they already have to lie to everybody that they
Speaker 2: know or they've just met, but they get these weird
Speaker 2: ass tasks that push them higher in the game, so
Speaker 2: like their vote will count for more, just like they'll
Speaker 2: keep the money for longer. Shit like that. One of
Speaker 2: them was cracking me up because I was like what
Speaker 2: she had to mention She had to get other members
Speaker 2: of the game to say the name justin Timberlake out loud.
Speaker 2: And I just want to know how y'all would do that,
Speaker 2: because I want to know how y'all would lie right now,
Speaker 2: how would you get me to say that name?
Speaker 1: Oh, who's the guy that had the DUI recently that
Speaker 1: did the press conference?
Speaker 2: I wouldn't know.
Speaker 3: Who's the guy that did Like Dick in a box
Speaker 3: with Andy Samberg. Who was that?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't know that either.
Speaker 2: Lady Gaga. That was Lady Gaga.
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm gonna see her at Coachella. I'm gonna see Africa.
Speaker 2: Sheat there? She is she doing Coachella.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure she is. Saturday. Wait, since one, since always.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm like, we should maybe go Saturday, really
Speaker 1: fun Saturdays, Saturday, Sunday, just Saturday.
Speaker 2: Though no, I can't. I don't think any even like
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding. All of my negative projections onto the
Speaker 2: experience of Coachella come from the deep, deep truth that
Speaker 2: I just can't enjoy those kind of things because I
Speaker 2: am actually petrified of being around them.
Speaker 1: Many people every single night.
Speaker 2: And that's why I have to have like two drinks
Speaker 2: because I seriously think someone's gonna fucking kidnap me or
Speaker 2: stab me, kill me.
Speaker 1: This is how I would do it. Oh, what's the
Speaker 1: what's the guy who has the song baby? His first
Speaker 1: name Justin? And what would you say?
Speaker 2: Is a tree that not suspicious? So she had to
Speaker 2: get three? Wait, what was the second part?
Speaker 1: A tree by a body of water, a tree by
Speaker 1: a lake. But what's another name for a tree.
Speaker 2: Oak oak Tree, oak Wood, I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's my middle school oak Woods, oak Woods. We were
Speaker 1: the road runners.
Speaker 3: I would say, who's that guy that Drew sold poppers
Speaker 3: to that one time?
Speaker 2: Oh, justin Timberlay. But you have to get people to
Speaker 2: say it three times. And also everyone who's playing the
Speaker 2: game with you is watching, and another one was of
Speaker 2: them was like some crazy ship. It's oh, you have
Speaker 2: to get three people to scream with you, but everybody's
Speaker 2: looking out to see who's fucking screaming. It's just that
Speaker 2: such a good game, and I want to play it
Speaker 2: so bad, but I feel like I'd be like this
Speaker 2: one girl who who was just trying so hard to
Speaker 2: just like she hadn't been the millionaire yet so she
Speaker 2: had nothing to lose, and she was like, I'm just
Speaker 2: going to be like very transparent this whole game, and
Speaker 2: everyone turned on her and she had a panic attack
Speaker 2: and then she left. No, it was really sad.
Speaker 3: I need to see that because I have this visceral
Speaker 3: like idea that if I was ever on one of
Speaker 3: those dating shows, I would have a panic attack on camera.
Speaker 3: Oh I cannot think of a worse thing for me
Speaker 3: to be.
Speaker 1: Well, I guess it's like live dating on camera.
Speaker 3: Dude.
Speaker 2: None of us would survive Love Island, not a single
Speaker 2: one of us.
Speaker 1: I don't know a single person that has the brain
Speaker 1: chemistry for Love Island.
Speaker 2: Like you really have to be about it.
Speaker 1: You don't know about traders.
Speaker 2: Traders, Yeah, but like it's resonating with me, I have
Speaker 2: to tap in. I just like, honestly, game shows are
Speaker 2: so good and this might be crazy, but I think
Speaker 2: I like the Millionaire or what is it called again,
Speaker 2: a million Dollar Secret? I think I like it because
Speaker 2: it's the first in a while I have felt to
Speaker 2: my core that the producers are fucking with this game,
Speaker 2: like they every task is so pointed, and like them
Speaker 2: just giving clues to these motherfuckers. And you're watching everybody
Speaker 2: just like from one second to another be like oh
Speaker 2: oh okay, like everyone is going insane and I am
Speaker 2: so curious. And I also just like I love watching
Speaker 2: people lie. I love the way you lie by Rihanna.
Speaker 1: Well, if you love lying so much, you're pretty.
Speaker 2: That's to me, isn't even a bad lie, because the
Speaker 2: correct one is I'm gorgeous, So pretty actually doesn't even
Speaker 2: pretty goes over my head. It's like pretty try again,
Speaker 2: and for me, I would be lying by saying like
Speaker 2: you are worthy.
Speaker 1: So I'm worthless? Yeah, no, I am worthless.
Speaker 2: Guys, today, can we have an art and crafts day
Speaker 2: where we make each other motivational poster?
Speaker 1: We need to go to the fucking gym. We haven't
Speaker 1: been to the gym in like three months, so bad.
Speaker 3: You just sent me a shirtless photo in the gym.
Speaker 2: Why yelling at me to go to the gym? That's
Speaker 2: the crazy. Wow, Yeah, we need to go to the
Speaker 2: fucking gym.
Speaker 3: That's why I apologize. I want to apologize for my
Speaker 3: radar for protecting women not going off just then because
Speaker 3: usually it's perfect.
Speaker 2: And I apologize for my gatar going off so crazy
Speaker 2: that you guys could probably hear it through my brain
Speaker 2: because y'all are so good.
Speaker 1: Actually, I hear nothing. I hear nothing, and that's impossible.
Speaker 1: So yeah, we went to the Minecraft movie. Well they didn't.
Speaker 1: I went to the Minecraft movie and it was lit.
Speaker 2: Okay, me and k I are going to go see it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, y'all have fucking fun.
Speaker 3: My friend saw it and she said that she had
Speaker 3: a really, really violently visceral sex dream about Jack Black.
Speaker 2: After Honestly, I can't even hate on that because like
Speaker 2: I kind of.
Speaker 1: Feel like I can get down. Yeah, I can get
Speaker 1: down with that.
Speaker 3: It looks good on SNL. Have you seen when he's young?
Speaker 3: On SNL?
Speaker 1: He's sexy Jason momoo too all that slide.
Speaker 2: No, but I don't like that buff shit.
Speaker 1: The movie was fucking lit. It was really funny. Actually,
Speaker 1: like I thought, I thought I was gonna be like
Speaker 1: go into it and just like laugh at how terrible
Speaker 1: it was. It is a bad movie. Objectively, it's a
Speaker 1: bad movie, but like if you let yourself love it,
Speaker 1: if you let your imagination run free, like a Minecraft
Speaker 1: movie would would want you to do, it was awesome.
Speaker 1: It was really really funny. And I found out thirty
Speaker 1: seconds before the movie started that the guy that made
Speaker 1: the Napoleon dynamite and notch A Lebre made Minecraft movie,
Speaker 1: and that changed everything for me. I mean there were
Speaker 1: so many moments where I was like literally actually laughing at.
Speaker 2: That I need to go see it.
Speaker 1: But I did wish. I did wish I saw it
Speaker 1: like after Saturday or Sunday, Saturday Saturday, because like the
Speaker 1: Hive mind like decided like the parts that they're going
Speaker 1: to cheer out, like it was like a Barbenheimer moment
Speaker 1: where like everyone was like, yeah, we're gonna have fun
Speaker 1: in this movie. People weren't really having fun yet. And
Speaker 1: I would go see it again just to like cheer
Speaker 1: in the theater, like everybody cheers at the AMC Lady.
Speaker 2: That's like gay's people version of sports is going its
Speaker 2: banding together over some weird ass movie and all boy
Speaker 2: to the theater and screaming at the screen like that
Speaker 2: is literally the closest that And like the Fortnite shit,
Speaker 2: because Fortnite they are one universe away the universe being
Speaker 2: Steven Universe from having the broadest range of gay people
Speaker 2: to ever play one singular video game. And I genuinely
Speaker 2: it lost me for a second. But they got the
Speaker 2: Sabrina Carpenter skinned the emodes. They have adventure time, like
Speaker 2: there's a there's a siren being yelled out by Epic
Speaker 2: Games for gay people to unite on Fortnite. And that's
Speaker 2: what I think of movie theaters. It's kind of like
Speaker 2: when gay people put on like music videos in their
Speaker 2: living room. To me, going to see Minecraft as that
Speaker 2: and it's necessary.
Speaker 1: So my friends recently asked me they were at a
Speaker 1: gay night and they were watching music videos and they
Speaker 1: asked for my opin and they asked for they asked
Speaker 1: for what I should put on.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's amazing Gaga music video.
Speaker 3: That's like a short film.
Speaker 1: Telephone.
Speaker 3: Yeah, is it for telephone with Beyonce? No, there's like
Speaker 3: one where it's twelve minutes.
Speaker 1: I was watching the telephones Beyonce or Telephones twelve minutes. Oh,
Speaker 1: it's kind of like she.
Speaker 2: Picks her up from jel Like, yeah, she does the
Speaker 2: like like where you lost around Yeah.
Speaker 1: Exactly.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, guys, a fucking Beyonce concert later this month.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Wow. You know what the scariest part is, I remember
Speaker 2: when that album came out and I was like, I
Speaker 2: don't even have to think about going to that concert
Speaker 2: for like so long.
Speaker 1: It's here here.
Speaker 2: I think last time when we went to Renaissance, I
Speaker 2: didn't really do too much with my fit. I actually
Speaker 2: almost wore that shirt today, the like tiktop that had
Speaker 2: my boobs falling out, well, because my boobshrunk, so I
Speaker 2: thought they would fit in that shirt. And I'd been
Speaker 2: told where my boobs are out, and I was like,
Speaker 2: this shirt is literally just not meant to be worn
Speaker 2: by me. But I think I want to go crazy
Speaker 2: with like a fit. I'm just I think I'm like
Speaker 2: kind of losing it, Like I want I'm bored. I
Speaker 2: want to see what the girls are talking about. All
Speaker 2: you co tell girls who get your fits together. I
Speaker 2: want to see what all the fuss is about, because
Speaker 2: like the happiest people ever. So I want to start
Speaker 2: getting like really obnoxiously made outfits for events. And they're
Speaker 2: not going to be my events. It's for Beyonce's concert,
Speaker 2: but that's my first big.
Speaker 1: Boom. The last thing I want to talk about is
Speaker 1: how humans think they were created in God's image, but
Speaker 1: it was actually horseshoe crabs. They haven't evolved in millions
Speaker 1: and millions and millions of years. They haven't changed a
Speaker 1: centimeter a millimeter and that's what God looks like.
Speaker 3: And doesn't everything evolve into a crab eventually?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Yeah, they're like the final.
Speaker 3: Form efficient physical embodiment.
Speaker 2: And that's why now they're sold at fairs a little kids,
Speaker 2: that's why we eat them. Yeah, that's why. Like I
Speaker 2: actually have like friends about amy who've logged going down.
Speaker 1: There and their blue blood is like the most expensive
Speaker 1: liquid in the world, blue blood. M This blood is
Speaker 1: really expensive and it's good for like medical medicine. Also, also,
Speaker 1: if horseshoe crabs start evolving, that's when we know the
Speaker 1: damage we've done is irreparable. Wow.
Speaker 2: So when was the last time we seen one of
Speaker 2: those motherfuckers? Because I want to check out.
Speaker 1: I want to see what's going on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because it feels like she's she's changing in her
Speaker 2: sleep and we don't even notice it yet.
Speaker 1: Also, actually, this is the last thing I'll mention. This
Speaker 1: ship pissed me the fuck off in a crazy way.
Speaker 1: This what this really infuriated me. Like, this pissed me
Speaker 1: the fuck off. I got tagged in this video way
Speaker 1: way too many times for it to be okay, this
Speaker 1: is it was bullying. It was bullying at that point.
Speaker 7: Like that's that's crazy.
Speaker 3: That that does remind me of the community.
Speaker 1: Kill yourself.
Speaker 2: You'll make me wanna go.
Speaker 3: Wait, and because I want to, I want to focus
Speaker 3: on this.
Speaker 2: Hi, that's fucking nasty. Like actually, sometimes you you like no, no.
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Oh, Let's go through the email and see if I
Speaker 1: can find some doppelgangers or some syops. Blake Bennett holding
Speaker 1: it down still, I'm not kidding. He sent me like
Speaker 1: he said, Oh wait, this is a this is one
Speaker 1: he said on his own lesbian grinder is called finger
Speaker 1: f I n g R. Potheads will find any reason
Speaker 1: to smoke. Damn that bitch ugly. Let me roll up.
Speaker 2: That's me Brad, Literally, Damn that bit is ugly.
Speaker 1: What's the what do you mean you saw yog.
Speaker 2: I can't stand smoking with paranoid bitches. Fuck you mean
Speaker 2: you see Yogiyamamoto in the corner?
Speaker 1: This is just a certified classic. Um some of y'all
Speaker 1: air pods some um, some of y'all's air pods look
Speaker 1: like they were in your ass, not your ear.
Speaker 2: Classic class.
Speaker 1: Whoa, this one's good. This one's really really really good.
Speaker 1: You got money for du buy chocolate but didn't pay
Speaker 1: your rent that was due by the first Wow. Damn
Speaker 1: these things giving leftovers are still hitting true. It's April Day,
Speaker 1: Happy Easter.
Speaker 2: It's Easter this weekend. I think I need to do
Speaker 2: an Easter egg hunt. So that's kind of where I'm
Speaker 2: at right now, But I just want to do it.
Speaker 2: If somebody puts like a twenty in one of the eggs,
Speaker 2: I want like a twenty for free that I hunt.
Speaker 1: I'll do. We can do that in the backyard.
Speaker 2: That'll be fun.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Should we host like a weak We don't have grass,
Speaker 1: but we can hide them.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Some of y'all aren't queer, but you sure are LGBT, lying, gossiping,
Speaker 1: and bitching well into your thirties.
Speaker 2: I've never seen queer eye for the straight guy. But
Speaker 2: I can only assume this trio is.
Speaker 1: That I would eat as like the guy that got nominated.
Speaker 2: Because what is it? Is it like a guy makeover show?
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you nominate. It's not specifically guy, but
Speaker 1: like you nominate a person or a guy to be
Speaker 1: made over by like three or four gay guys, and
Speaker 1: it's like therapy.
Speaker 2: It's so it's like the nice version of not to wear.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the non evil version him that pussy is mine? Wait? Him,
Speaker 1: is that pussy mine me? You are for sure?
Speaker 9: Shale hurled up bow Okay, I called the girls by
Speaker 9: boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
Speaker 1: Those were from Yale. Okay, Well that was the episode
Speaker 1: of no Media Media.
Speaker 2: My media is rather live by Playboy CARTI on the weekend.
Speaker 2: This is my life. Shirley BASSI Relationships behind I'm Tonight
Speaker 2: Pink Panthers.
Speaker 1: I've been listening to Sufi and Stevens Seven Swans and
Speaker 1: that is the saddest album.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Yeah, I can't do that right now?
Speaker 1: Do you know the lore?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Oh it's really dark sighted look into it. I'm not.
Speaker 1: I don't want to like mess things up, but like
Speaker 1: someone he falls in love with, gets cancer and dies.
Speaker 1: Futile Devices, Though I always say, I always say, Stacy's
Speaker 1: Mom makes me cry. That's the only song that's ever
Speaker 1: made me cry and will ever make me cry. Futile
Speaker 1: Devices made me cry. The other day.
Speaker 2: I've been listening to White Knights by Psychic TV.
Speaker 1: Again, how does that one go?
Speaker 2: It's like Santa Claus is checking his list.
Speaker 1: Go Choices, Project Past, I love you, Oh my, I
Speaker 1: really like Choices by Project Pat and Lavender Bud.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah. I was lying awake and thinking about them
Speaker 2: nights we spent ample undercommer and when I came I
Speaker 2: loved and not Rema and made my world the living. Okay, well,
Speaker 2: see you my next