WEBVTT - How to push back

0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:06.680
<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of My Heart Radio.

0:00:09.440 --> 0:00:14.040
<v Speaker 1>Good Morning, This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:19.000
<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is about how to push back respectfully when

0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:23.639
<v Speaker 1>somebody makes an unreasonable request at work. Today's tip, like

0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:27.200
<v Speaker 1>some will cover next week, comes from management expert Allison

0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:31.320
<v Speaker 1>Green's book Ask a Manager. In this book, she covers

0:00:31.360 --> 0:00:35.159
<v Speaker 1>all sorts of sticky situations that make the workplace a

0:00:35.200 --> 0:00:39.479
<v Speaker 1>bit less wonderful. In a perfect world, everyone would be

0:00:39.560 --> 0:00:44.120
<v Speaker 1>mature and emotionally aware, no one would ever ask for

0:00:44.200 --> 0:00:49.360
<v Speaker 1>anything unreasonable. Alas, we work with human beings who, like us,

0:00:49.840 --> 0:00:53.200
<v Speaker 1>are wrapped up in their own dramas. What often happens

0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:56.600
<v Speaker 1>is that people have no idea what goes into your job,

0:00:57.160 --> 0:01:01.120
<v Speaker 1>and so they have no idea what's reasonable and what isn't.

0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:04.120
<v Speaker 1>When I was having some home renovation work done, I

0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:06.600
<v Speaker 1>visited a contractor who'd put a cartoon on the wall

0:01:07.080 --> 0:01:09.640
<v Speaker 1>featuring a couple asking for their entire house to be

0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:14.039
<v Speaker 1>gutted and redone for some pittance. The beleaguered contractor in

0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:18.000
<v Speaker 1>the cartoon suggested that perhaps they've been watching a bit

0:01:18.040 --> 0:01:21.360
<v Speaker 1>too much h G TV, So it goes in the

0:01:21.400 --> 0:01:24.880
<v Speaker 1>rest of life for instance, maybe a colleague keeps giving

0:01:24.880 --> 0:01:28.960
<v Speaker 1>you last minute work. Is she a terrible person? Maybe,

0:01:29.600 --> 0:01:32.600
<v Speaker 1>but maybe in her mind it's a small request, or

0:01:32.680 --> 0:01:35.560
<v Speaker 1>she cluelessly believes it's the only thing you have on

0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:39.679
<v Speaker 1>your plate and ask a manager. Green suggests keeping this

0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:43.120
<v Speaker 1>mindset that she may not even realize that what she's

0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:46.319
<v Speaker 1>doing is a problem. So how can you explain that

0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:50.960
<v Speaker 1>it is a problem and solve it? Try this script?

0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:53.280
<v Speaker 1>Is there a way for me to get this type

0:01:53.280 --> 0:01:56.200
<v Speaker 1>of work earlier? It can take a while to turn

0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:59.240
<v Speaker 1>it around, and when I have other looming deadlines, it's

0:01:59.280 --> 0:02:03.000
<v Speaker 1>hard to fit it, and when I don't have more notice. Ideally,

0:02:03.320 --> 0:02:05.160
<v Speaker 1>I'd like at least a few days with this kind

0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:08.400
<v Speaker 1>of thing, since I'm fitting it in around other priorities.

0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:12.600
<v Speaker 1>And if it keeps happening, well, maybe make her deadline

0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:16.160
<v Speaker 1>not your problem. I can try to fit this in,

0:02:16.360 --> 0:02:18.480
<v Speaker 1>but I had most of today and tomorrow scheduled for

0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:20.960
<v Speaker 1>other work. Is there any wiggle room on the deadline

0:02:21.000 --> 0:02:23.520
<v Speaker 1>for this since it's coming to me so late? If

0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:25.799
<v Speaker 1>you've got clearance from your boss for something else that

0:02:25.919 --> 0:02:28.880
<v Speaker 1>really has to get done, first, mentioned this and then

0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:31.639
<v Speaker 1>just smile and let her figure out how to deal

0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:34.600
<v Speaker 1>with this reality, or perhaps you have a colleague who

0:02:34.680 --> 0:02:38.160
<v Speaker 1>keeps asking you to do something that really isn't your job.

0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:42.000
<v Speaker 1>As Green notes, you probably don't want to directly say

0:02:42.360 --> 0:02:46.279
<v Speaker 1>that's not my job. And true all hands on deck situations,

0:02:46.320 --> 0:02:49.800
<v Speaker 1>everything is everyone's job. But for day to day stuff,

0:02:49.840 --> 0:02:52.359
<v Speaker 1>you're best off explaining why you're not the right person,

0:02:52.400 --> 0:02:56.440
<v Speaker 1>and if possible, who might be some scripts. I'm on

0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:58.720
<v Speaker 1>deadline with high priority X, and I've got to stay

0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:02.359
<v Speaker 1>focused on that, so I can't help. Unfortunately, you can

0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:05.000
<v Speaker 1>again cite your manager and note that you've been told

0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:09.000
<v Speaker 1>to focus exclusively on cleaning up some other backlog. Now,

0:03:09.040 --> 0:03:12.320
<v Speaker 1>of course, the problem with the busy excuse is that

0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:14.600
<v Speaker 1>you might want to make sure that your computer screen

0:03:14.720 --> 0:03:17.840
<v Speaker 1>is an obviously tuned to online headlines that have nothing

0:03:17.840 --> 0:03:21.040
<v Speaker 1>to do with your job as you're saying this, And

0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:24.640
<v Speaker 1>this is why I prefer Green's other potential script, which

0:03:24.680 --> 0:03:28.160
<v Speaker 1>takes the focus off time and puts it back on

0:03:28.240 --> 0:03:32.640
<v Speaker 1>the actual work. M hmm. You might say, I'm not

0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:35.560
<v Speaker 1>usually the person who handles that. I think Pablo is,

0:03:35.640 --> 0:03:38.800
<v Speaker 1>and he should be able to help you, because, honestly,

0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:42.000
<v Speaker 1>a big part of solving the problem of unreasonable requests

0:03:42.160 --> 0:03:45.400
<v Speaker 1>is as green notes, believing that it's okay to protect

0:03:45.400 --> 0:03:47.880
<v Speaker 1>your own time and say no to this kind of thing.

0:03:48.680 --> 0:03:52.120
<v Speaker 1>If you truly internalize this, then you're more naturally push

0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:55.800
<v Speaker 1>back in a friendly but confident way. If you're not

0:03:55.880 --> 0:03:58.680
<v Speaker 1>a millionaire and someone asked you for a million dollars,

0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:01.920
<v Speaker 1>you'd laugh, shrug it off with a simple wish I

0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:05.360
<v Speaker 1>could help you there. You wouldn't agonize ever your answer.

0:04:06.040 --> 0:04:08.120
<v Speaker 1>And just like you don't have a million dollars, you

0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:11.320
<v Speaker 1>don't have all the time in the world either. We

0:04:11.360 --> 0:04:14.600
<v Speaker 1>can save our help for the reasonable requests. That is,

0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:17.520
<v Speaker 1>the ones where there is a clear objective, we know

0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:21.039
<v Speaker 1>we can help and the person has enough relationship capital

0:04:21.080 --> 0:04:23.839
<v Speaker 1>with us where we want to do what we can

0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:30.840
<v Speaker 1>Absent that. This is withdrawals without deposits. No one can

0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:34.279
<v Speaker 1>sustain that for long. So what will you push back

0:04:34.320 --> 0:04:39.280
<v Speaker 1>on today? In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening,

0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:49.000
<v Speaker 1>and here's to making the most of our time. Hey, everybody,

0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:51.320
<v Speaker 1>I'd love to hear from you. You can send me

0:04:51.360 --> 0:04:55.000
<v Speaker 1>your tips, your questions, or anything else. Just connect with

0:04:55.040 --> 0:04:59.440
<v Speaker 1>me on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod.

0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:04.479
<v Speaker 1>That's b E. The number four then Breakfast p o D.

0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:08.160
<v Speaker 1>You can also shoot me an email at before Breakfast

0:05:08.240 --> 0:05:11.640
<v Speaker 1>podcast at i heeart media dot com that before Breakfast

0:05:11.760 --> 0:05:14.320
<v Speaker 1>is spelled out with all the letters. Thanks so much,

0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:22.640
<v Speaker 1>I look forward to staying in touch. Before Breakfast is

0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.920
<v Speaker 1>a production of I heart Radio. For more podcasts from

0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:29.920
<v Speaker 1>I heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

0:05:30.160 --> 0:05:32.040
<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.