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Speaker 1: Buckle up and hold on time. She is here, beats

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Speaker 1: sister Roy. It's with the strawberry letta. Thank you, little man,

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Speaker 1: little man, thank you. Oh I'm little. They did a

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Speaker 1: movie about little Man. Let's called Little Man. Subject. I'm

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Speaker 1: married to three people, Dear Stephen Shirley, Greetings from the

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Speaker 1: Dirty South. I have this dilemma that I've dealt with

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Speaker 1: for twenty one years, and I finally had enough. My

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Speaker 1: problem is that I'm married to three people. My husband,

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Speaker 1: his single sister, and his widowed mother. He can't do

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Speaker 1: anything without his sisters and his mother's advice. He talks

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Speaker 1: to them about our marriage, our children, and our finances,

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Speaker 1: probably our sex life too. He talks to his mama

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Speaker 1: as if he doesn't have a wife and four children

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Speaker 1: at home. Any argument that we have, he calls his

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Speaker 1: sister and it's her opinion on it, and yes, of

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Speaker 1: course they hate me because he plays the victim in

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Speaker 1: every situation. He's always available to help his mom and

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Speaker 1: sister out whenever they call him, and he will do

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Speaker 1: whatever they need him to do, often leaving me to

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Speaker 1: run our home alone with the kids. When he's home

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Speaker 1: with us, he spends most of his time on the

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Speaker 1: couch watching cartoons. I know this is not right, and

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Speaker 1: I sound crazy for dealing with this for so long.

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Speaker 1: I should have dropped him off at his mama's house

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Speaker 1: a long time ago and let them be one big, old,

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Speaker 1: happy family. I value your advice, Steve, so give it

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Speaker 1: to me straight. What should I do? How can I

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Speaker 1: get this grown man to stop being a mama's boy. Well,

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Speaker 1: you hit so many points on the head. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you know so many things are wrong in your marriage.

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Speaker 1: I for one, don't understand how you've dealt with it

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Speaker 1: for twenty one long years. That's a long long time

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Speaker 1: to deal with this kind of stuff. To to be

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Speaker 1: married to three people at the same time, your husband,

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Speaker 1: his single sister, and his widowed mother. That's a long

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Speaker 1: long time to be put second, third, and fourth in

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Speaker 1: a marriage. Uh, this is really on you. I mean,

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Speaker 1: he is a child, he's immature, and you're right, he's

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Speaker 1: a mom's boy. He took a vow. Remember back twenty

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Speaker 1: one years ago when you guys got married. He took

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Speaker 1: a vow um, you know, to leave the family and

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Speaker 1: cleave to his wife. All that. Let no man separate

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Speaker 1: you guys. But he's done just that perhaps he didn't

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Speaker 1: take those vials seriously, well, that's playing to see that

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Speaker 1: he didn't. Um, I just don't know why you have

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Speaker 1: put up with it for so long. But if you

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Speaker 1: finally had enough, be done. If you're done. I know

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Speaker 1: you have four children. You don't say how old they

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Speaker 1: are anything, but um, you know no one should have

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Speaker 1: to put up with this. And my question to you

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Speaker 1: is why have you put up with this so long?

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Speaker 1: And if you don't want to, you know what you

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Speaker 1: have to do. I mean, if he this man is

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Speaker 1: on the couch watching cartoons that I don't get, does

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Speaker 1: he work? Does you know what is he doing? I

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Speaker 1: don't understand. Um, you need either counseling. I don't know

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Speaker 1: if it's too late for that, or you need to

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Speaker 1: get out and and get on with your life, a

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Speaker 1: life that you deserve, not one that's a marriage of

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Speaker 1: one to one person legally, but really to three people.

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Speaker 1: Steve crazy, right, You know I don't like these kinds

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Speaker 1: of letters, cause you know, I get tired of responding

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Speaker 1: to this type of thing. The lady, you know who's wrong?

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Speaker 1: It's so obvious to everybody listening, know what's wrong here?

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Speaker 1: You didn't dealt with this for twenty one years and

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Speaker 1: you finally had enough. Now, the question all I need

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Speaker 1: to know is have you really finally had enough? Because

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Speaker 1: if you have, I have a solution for you. But

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Speaker 1: let's let's go over it. You're you're married to your husband,

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Speaker 1: his single sister, and his widowed mama. So ain't nobody

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Speaker 1: got nobody over there? All them women, his single sister

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Speaker 1: and his mama, they got him and he there can't

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Speaker 1: do anything without their advice. Talk to him about marig kids, finances,

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Speaker 1: probably talking about the sex life. Two he is talk

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Speaker 1: to his mom as if he doesn't have a wife

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Speaker 1: and folk children at home, and argument that we have.

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Speaker 1: He calls his sister, gets her opinion. Of course they

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Speaker 1: hate you, Yes, they hate you. He's always available to

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Speaker 1: help his mama when they call him here, do whatever

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Speaker 1: they need to do. Leave you to run to your

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Speaker 1: house with the kids. When he hold with us, he's

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Speaker 1: watching cartoons. We all know what this is. I know

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Speaker 1: this is not right, and I sound crazy for dealing

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Speaker 1: with this with so long. I know you do, lady,

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Speaker 1: and you know it too. You just need some confirmation here.

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Speaker 1: That's why I'm reading your letter again. I should have

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Speaker 1: dropped him off at his mama's house a long time

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Speaker 1: ago and let him be one big, old, happy family.

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Speaker 1: I value your advice to so give it to me straight.

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Speaker 1: What should I do? How can I get this grown

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Speaker 1: man to stop being a mama's boy. You can't. You

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Speaker 1: can't twenty one years. You cannot change what he is.

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Speaker 1: Rule number one, Ladies always notice about mama's boys. Mama's

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Speaker 1: boys can't become your man. Oh that's the rule. Mama's

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Speaker 1: boys can't become your man. You can't serve two masters.

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Speaker 1: You can't be the head of two households. You can't

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Speaker 1: happily have two wives. Something has to suffer, even a

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Speaker 1: dude that's got a chick on the side. Somebody has

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Speaker 1: to be number one in the pecking order. Ain't no

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Speaker 1: two number ones? No such a thing that, no such

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Speaker 1: a thing. Somebody has to play the number two roles.

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Speaker 1: Your husband number one priority is his mama. That's not

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Speaker 1: fitting the change. He's a mama's boy. I don't know

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Speaker 1: how old is you didn't say in this letter, but

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Speaker 1: y'all been dealing with you. You've been dealing with this

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Speaker 1: with twenty one years. Let's just take the lower end

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Speaker 1: of it. Let's just say you got married at twenty

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Speaker 1: he forty one. The fact that he thoughty one laying

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Speaker 1: on the couch watching a cartoon is right there. A

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Speaker 1: cartoon at forty one, right there, And that's all he

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Speaker 1: do until his mammy called. And that's what you refer

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Speaker 1: to her as. So that's what I'm gonna refer to as.

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Speaker 1: You didn't put that in the leadder. Your mammy called.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure she many. Oh, your damn mammy called,

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Speaker 1: and you ain't your sister. I'll be back. Then it's

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Speaker 1: talking about your mammy, and you ain't your sister. Here's

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Speaker 1: the thing about a woman who's been in this situation

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Speaker 1: so long, because just like women who are staying bad

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Speaker 1: relationships long, because you are such nurturrous by nature, such

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Speaker 1: healers and such people of you just nurturrous. You think

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Speaker 1: you can fix it if I just keep loving him,

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Speaker 1: praying body it a change. Well, if you're praying for

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Speaker 1: somebody that don't ever pray for their self, I don't

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Speaker 1: really know how that works. You're praying that an alcoholic

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Speaker 1: go get help. But until the alcoholic want to go

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Speaker 1: get help, well he can't go down there right. You

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Speaker 1: stay in this relationship because you keep thinking it will change.

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Speaker 1: Twenty one years and it hasn't changed. Shirley made another

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Speaker 1: point that he's ignoring the vows that he took to

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Speaker 1: leave all others and cleave only unto you. He didn't

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Speaker 1: hear that when the creature said that he was looking

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Speaker 1: at his mama was longing, not longing. I ain't gonna

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Speaker 1: move far away from your mom. This is stuff he

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Speaker 1: was saying. I'm man huh, but it's still you, mama.

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Speaker 1: This is where the mama's boys saying at the wind,

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Speaker 1: a man her because we sleep together, but it's still you, mama.

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Speaker 1: You married a mama's boy. So he didn't hear that part.

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Speaker 1: When did you promise you've aout to leave all others

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Speaker 1: and cleave only on to her? I cleave only onto

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Speaker 1: you moment. This was the voice that was playing in

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Speaker 1: his head during the winding, so he missed that. Shirley

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Speaker 1: also mentioned that you might consider counseling. I like to

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Speaker 1: use counseling because I have a talk show. I've learned

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Speaker 1: that from my white listeners that counseling is very effective

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Speaker 1: form of dealing with situations and problems. Until I had

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Speaker 1: this talk show, I never thought counseling was worth it them.

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Speaker 1: But since I have a talk show, I've recommended counselor

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Speaker 1: several times. Well, they ain't gonna work in this case

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Speaker 1: because everybody in this letter black. In order for counseling

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Speaker 1: to work with black people, you must take all of

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Speaker 1: all concerned parties to counsel ain't everybody? Ain't you let

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Speaker 1: this little presson have for talk us into some counseling.

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Speaker 1: What nothing wrong with us? Before you're married her? Now

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you're married her. Now we're just

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Speaker 1: crazy people. Ain't nobody crazy? But how setting up that?

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Speaker 1: Just making babies? Yeah, y'all need counseling. But her mammy,

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Speaker 1: his mammy ain't going, and you know his single sister

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Speaker 1: going because she's some way what she's the single system overweight.

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Speaker 1: How do you know that? In the letter, I'm just

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Speaker 1: throwing it out. She ain't got no I'm on, I'm

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Speaker 1: talking excessively over the way. She overweight, And they ain't

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Speaker 1: that a good person? You can be all wait and

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Speaker 1: get a man. There's some cute, cute big girls out there.

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Speaker 1: Get me and all the time because it because they're

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Speaker 1: nice people, and they got that sexiness about them. You know,

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of Ashley Graham's walking around in the hood. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she ain't one of them. She's not Ashley Graham. She's

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Speaker 1: Ashley Damn she be. Damn. Ladies and gentlemen, you are

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Speaker 1: dating a mama's boy and there's nothing, nothing you can

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Speaker 1: do about it. There is no cute. Now what should

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Speaker 1: I do? Do not spend the next twenty one years

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Speaker 1: of your life in misery? Now? Don't do it. Let

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Speaker 1: him go on over there. This could be the thing

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Speaker 1: that jaws him. The thought of losing you could draw

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Speaker 1: him up. I don't know. But do you want to

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Speaker 1: do another twenty one years like you did or do

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Speaker 1: you want to have a different twenty one years? You

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Speaker 1: make the decision. You're listening to show