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Speaker 1: I did kind of always like come come ast me.

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Speaker 1: Why you've seen those porns where people make like come

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Speaker 1: popsicles or like or like save loads, like like I

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Speaker 1: have like a jar full of people's like yellowing loads.

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Speaker 1: So when I was twelve years old, I I'm already nervous.

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Speaker 1: I had to continue. I had one pair of boxers

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Speaker 1: that I jerked off it. Okay, wait wait can you

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Speaker 1: can you really like flannel where they like they were

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Speaker 1: a plaid mat, but specifically they were Invader Zim boxers

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Speaker 1: that I bought at hot topic, so many twists and

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Speaker 1: turns and when I, you know, was discovering my sexuality,

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Speaker 1: you know, when it was milk and time. But on

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Speaker 1: those Invaders in boxers. Every time you say invaders and boxers,

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Speaker 1: and they were if I like smacked them, they would

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Speaker 1: have like cracked open the how crusted they were. But

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Speaker 1: you watched them, but you washed them occasionally. But like

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Speaker 1: I was jerking off a lot, you know. But I

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Speaker 1: like distinctly remember the night before my freshman year of

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Speaker 1: high school, maybe just like go in four or five

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Speaker 1: times and that evening into those Invaders in boxers and

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Speaker 1: being like, Okay, I think it's time to throw these out.

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Speaker 1: So you did eventually throw them? I did eventually. And

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Speaker 1: you know we're talking about masturbation because today we're going

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Speaker 1: to be talking about porn and erotica and things we

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Speaker 1: could fact too. Yeah, and uh, if the opening anecdote

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Speaker 1: any indication that this is not going to be a

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Speaker 1: disgusting conversation. Oh, we're getting We're getting nasty. The virgins

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Speaker 1: should be primed. Please prepare yourself. Yes, we are going

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Speaker 1: to dig into our search histories, into our parents DVD collections,

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Speaker 1: and into you know, our own experiences with corn throughout

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Speaker 1: our lives, because this is like a virgin in the show.

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Speaker 1: We give yesterday's pop culture, Today's takes. I'm Mozdomine and

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Speaker 1: I'm Fran Toronto Virgins. We are coming to you live

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Speaker 1: from two different posts. Technology really has brought us so

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Speaker 1: far to this moment. I'm so I'm so happy. I

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Speaker 1: love science. We are finally going to talk about the

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Speaker 1: finale of Interview with the Vampire. Um TikTok finally figured

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Speaker 1: out that I have been watching it and so now

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Speaker 1: I'm getting nothing but listat edits fan can fan cams.

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Speaker 1: I think we have graduated from calling them fan cams

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Speaker 1: to edits. That's what That's what the kids are saying.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that's what gen Z calls them. I

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Speaker 1: think fan cams is fan cams is very kind of

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Speaker 1: millennial terminology. Oh god, I hate aging myself on this podcast,

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Speaker 1: but I hope we are millennials. We're old, We're ancients.

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Speaker 1: I know, I know, don't remind me. Yeah. So, the

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Speaker 1: first season of Interviewed the Vampire has ended. I thought

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Speaker 1: the finale was so good. It was so unexpected. I mean,

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Speaker 1: that's what's been great about the whole first season of

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Speaker 1: the show is, you know, as someone who knows the

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Speaker 1: source material, knowing what the story was working towards, and

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Speaker 1: then seeing the ways in which they altered and and

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Speaker 1: subverted those expectations was really exciting. Like, obviously, you know

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Speaker 1: that the first season is going to end with them

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Speaker 1: attempting to kill Lestat, and they still do, but the

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Speaker 1: way it happens is so different. Um, and so what changes?

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Speaker 1: So you know in the original novel, there's no big

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Speaker 1: party or anything. The plan progresses much more straightforward. You know,

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Speaker 1: Claudia drugs these two little twin boys, Listat drinks from them.

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Speaker 1: One of the vampire rules is that you can't drink

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Speaker 1: for them from the dead, where you will die yourself.

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Speaker 1: Claudia is the one who splits Listat's throat, and then

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Speaker 1: they toss him into the swamp and he later you know,

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Speaker 1: feeds on alligators to you know, kind of regain some

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Speaker 1: of his strength. Um And in this finale, you know,

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Speaker 1: there were parts of that. They're like there were still

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Speaker 1: the twins, they still drugged them. But then there was

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Speaker 1: the whole twist of Antoinette having been turned, and the

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Speaker 1: sort of like false memory that Louis actually refused to

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Speaker 1: burn Lestat's corpse because he couldn't handel killing his lover,

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Speaker 1: and then at the end, and then at the end

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Speaker 1: we find out that maybe none of this is real

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Speaker 1: because Rashid revealed himself to be Armand, and it's like

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Speaker 1: obvious that he has been manipulating Louie. One of the

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Speaker 1: sort of details that I saw in a tech talk

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Speaker 1: that someone pointed out is that in that special room,

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Speaker 1: all of the bookcases are like on the ceiling, so

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Speaker 1: only someone who could fly could reach them. So it's

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Speaker 1: just more signs that Armand is manipulating Louis. So who's

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Speaker 1: Urmand in the franchise. I don't really, I'm not. I'm

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Speaker 1: not in on the lore like that. Yeah. So Armand

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Speaker 1: is one of the oldest living vampires. He is a

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Speaker 1: lover of Louise. In the original novel and film, he

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Speaker 1: and Louis meet when Claudia and Louie are in Paris

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Speaker 1: and to Armand is you know, the person who leads

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Speaker 1: to Claudia being killed, but he and Louis become lovers.

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Speaker 1: He also in the books has a relationship with Daniel,

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Speaker 1: the journalist, and we kind of got a flash of

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Speaker 1: that in the show of Daniel's memory of meaning Louie

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Speaker 1: and Armand in the seventies. So maybe we'll see that

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Speaker 1: play out in season two. But Armand is a very

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Speaker 1: manipulative figure, so it's clear that all is not right

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Speaker 1: between him and Louie. And I'm just very interested to

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Speaker 1: see where this goes, because the whole first season was

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Speaker 1: about telling the real version of this story that's already

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Speaker 1: been told, and now we're finding out that now there's

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Speaker 1: another layer to that. So who knows what the real

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Speaker 1: version of the real version is and which we're going

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Speaker 1: to find out in season two. I guess I guess so.

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Speaker 1: I the episode was so good. I love Claudia. I'm

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Speaker 1: really hoping that maybe in this new version of the

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Speaker 1: story of Claudia isn't dead and she's going to come

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Speaker 1: back in it in the present, and I don't want

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Speaker 1: my girl gone. The experience of watching Interview with a

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Speaker 1: vampire is truly just waiting for people to kiss. I

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Speaker 1: think that people to people to sort of give long

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Speaker 1: monologues about something like there was that scene where Louis

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Speaker 1: and Lestat were on the balcony, and like, you look

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Speaker 1: back on it and it's clear, like obviously Lestaton knew

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Speaker 1: that they were going to try to kill him, and

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Speaker 1: he was having this like whole emotional moment of like

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Speaker 1: talking about how he loved New Orleans, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: what's he talking about? It was a lot. I mean, honestly,

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Speaker 1: I felt similarly when I was watching The Crown this weekend,

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Speaker 1: because I did watch at all. Did you watch any

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Speaker 1: of The Crown? I haven't started the new season yet.

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Speaker 1: I just have been so busy with moving. So I

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Speaker 1: will give my non spoiler kind of a preview for you.

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Speaker 1: Can you really spoil a historical show? Yeah? Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: That you're like, I don't know, if you know, I don't,

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Speaker 1: Well she does. She doesn't die. I think she dies

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Speaker 1: in the next partum apparently I think that the franchise

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Speaker 1: ends with her death questions, So she didn't die in

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Speaker 1: this season. No, she doesn't die in this season. Now, okay,

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Speaker 1: well that is a spoiler, is it really? Because I

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Speaker 1: thought that I thought with her dying, I don't I know. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So my my non spoiler preview into The Crown for

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Speaker 1: you going in is that I wouldn't say it's mid

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Speaker 1: as it is just slightly less thrilling, which like a

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Speaker 1: lot of like the previous seasons of The Crown are good,

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Speaker 1: like with like the fucking like fog and the mud slides,

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Speaker 1: and like the intrigue and like the sexcapades, and you know,

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Speaker 1: this season, I think that the thing that changes the

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Speaker 1: chemistry so much is the casting of Emelda Stanton and

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Speaker 1: Elizabeth Debeccky, who I think are giving extremely specific performances.

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Speaker 1: And this is the evil queen right, like, this is

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Speaker 1: the world's most powerful imperialist, like reaching the point of

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Speaker 1: her life where she is the least popular and will

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Speaker 1: remain the least popular until she dies and then the

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Speaker 1: same thing with you know, Princess Die is that we

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Speaker 1: have this like complex character who is someone who's like chaotic,

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Speaker 1: like mentally like needs a lot like more support than

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Speaker 1: she's getting. And like I mean, long story short, I

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Speaker 1: think that they're both playing slightly edgier, slightly soapier versions

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Speaker 1: of these characters that have like opinions on them, right,

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Speaker 1: and so if you like the Queen, you're not gonna

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Speaker 1: like Emilda Stones. I wonder, I think it's it's interesting

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Speaker 1: that you point that out. And I wonder if that

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Speaker 1: was sort of an intentional casting choice because the you know,

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Speaker 1: produce there's of the show know that they're going into

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Speaker 1: the era where the Queen is no longer a sympathetic

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Speaker 1: figure and Emil de stant it, I mean, hello, she's professor,

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Speaker 1: professor Ambridge. Maybe it was like that's I was worried

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Speaker 1: that it was two on the nose, and I do

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Speaker 1: think it is a little too on the nose because

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Speaker 1: Emilda is extremely expressive and the Queen is not, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, Like she is like like she

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Speaker 1: she's never ever showing emotions, and Emila stan is like

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Speaker 1: giving us like downt now be kind of you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, like, and I appreciate doubt now be

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Speaker 1: but it does feel different from a lot of the

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Speaker 1: realism we were getting with Olivia Coleman and Claire Foy,

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Speaker 1: who portrayed emotionlessness with such depth and dynamism. Olivia was

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Speaker 1: so good and just you know, Claire Foy is the

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Speaker 1: version of the queen that I fell in love with. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: those were the glory days. Yeah. So I just watched

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Speaker 1: for the first time the first two seasons in my

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Speaker 1: depression Spiral and New York. I watched like nineteen episodes

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Speaker 1: of The Crown in like one weekend, And yeah, that

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Speaker 1: that it's such a stark dichotomy. But when you do

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Speaker 1: finish the season, we should have a chat about it,

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Speaker 1: because I had so many things I wanted to talk about.

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Speaker 1: For sure, we actually have a lot of Netflix stuff

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Speaker 1: to talk about today, including um, did you ever get

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Speaker 1: around to watching any of Young Royal Season two? I

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Speaker 1: only watched the first episode, but I did. I did

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Speaker 1: revisit the first season because I hadn't really actively watched it.

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Speaker 1: I think I had it on I think I was

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Speaker 1: going to say on background, but how can you how

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Speaker 1: can you watch? How can you watch a show in

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Speaker 1: another language on background. I can't it's I mean, I can't. Um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I just probably maybe didn't retain so much. But it's

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Speaker 1: only six episodes long with something well yeah, they're very

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Speaker 1: short seasons. Um um, you liked it. I really liked it.

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Speaker 1: I thought it was I mean, I was obviously so

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Speaker 1: happy it returned. I think the setup for the season

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Speaker 1: it's just, I mean, what is the way to put this.

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Speaker 1: It's it's like the perfect fan fiction, you know. It's like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, and you saw the first episode, so like

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Speaker 1: the setup is like the perfect angsty setup. It's like

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Speaker 1: they broke up because of something the Prince did to Simone,

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Speaker 1: and Simone like has a new boy who's interested in him,

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Speaker 1: and will Willie is like still in love with him

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Speaker 1: and is jealous, and it's like just like all the

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Speaker 1: perfect angsty tropes coming together in the best way. I

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Speaker 1: did finish the second season, and I was so impressed

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Speaker 1: with the storytelling, so impressed with the acting. I think

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Speaker 1: the actor who plays Prince Willim is so good and

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Speaker 1: I think this will be the start of a really

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Speaker 1: interesting career for him. And you know the ending, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you'll see if you if you ever get around to

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Speaker 1: finishing it. I liked that, you know, who knows if

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Speaker 1: there will be a third season, but it does have

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Speaker 1: a very definitive and also hopeful ending, and I really

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Speaker 1: appreciated that in case there isn't anymore. Uh, and I

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Speaker 1: just thoroughly enjoyed it. And you know, I don't like

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Speaker 1: teen shows shows, teen shows. I just don't think teenagers

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Speaker 1: are real people, so I like, I just can't watch

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Speaker 1: anything that's about them, and especially with this, it's like

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Speaker 1: they're actually played by teens, so it's kind of even

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Speaker 1: more like that. But I really loved it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I I cannot wait to watch a second season. I'll

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Speaker 1: let you know what I think. But like, speaking of realism,

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Speaker 1: we have you know what is essentially a historical drama

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Speaker 1: Falling for Christmas starring Lindsay Lohan. Yes look original Christmas. Yes,

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Speaker 1: friend and I watched Following for Christmas last week. Lindsay

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Speaker 1: Lohan is the new Queen of Christmas, affirmed I've determined

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Speaker 1: as Yeah, you know, the thing about this movie is

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Speaker 1: like it is exactly what it promises. It is a

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Speaker 1: you know, Christmas rom com, the kind poorly written Christmas

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Speaker 1: it promises that the trailer. The trailer specifically is like

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Speaker 1: this is going to be bad. I think it it

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Speaker 1: what it promises that it is exactly the kind of

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Speaker 1: Christmas movie that Netflix has been making a lot the

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Speaker 1: past couple of years, sort of following in the legacy

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Speaker 1: of like Hallmark Christmas movies, very formulate plot and tropes,

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Speaker 1: and I think it's very aware of those things, like

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Speaker 1: literally every twist I predicted. Yeah, and you also pointed

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Speaker 1: something out to me that I'll never not think about,

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Speaker 1: which is the way that people are lit in these films. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: just like washed out with like these like overhead, Like

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Speaker 1: it's so crazy. It is very it's very bright. Both

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Speaker 1: of her love interests were gay. It must be sad

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Speaker 1: well and one of and one of them is confirmed

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Speaker 1: to be I mean at least by at the end

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Speaker 1: of the movie. But you all throw a twist. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: But her fiancee, who she spoiler alert doesn't end up with,

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Speaker 1: also like meets this poacher in the woods who rescues him,

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Speaker 1: and I thought that's who he was going to end

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Speaker 1: up with because there was such a vibe between them

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Speaker 1: and there were things like he said something about how

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Speaker 1: he had such big hands and I think, I mean,

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Speaker 1: even though he did eventually end up with like Lindsay's

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Speaker 1: assistant who worked at the hotel, I just think he,

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Speaker 1: he and the poacher should have wound up together because

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Speaker 1: they had a beautiful, beautiful love and lots of sexual chemistry.

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Speaker 1: It's something that you and I noticed immediately is that

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Speaker 1: Lindsay was good. Like she was saying she was amazing,

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Speaker 1: and I felt like, I feel like she you know,

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Speaker 1: maybe I went into this movie being like this is

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Speaker 1: going to be such hot garbage. And she has a

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Speaker 1: reputation in Hollywood and has for so long for being

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Speaker 1: someone that is impossible to work with and um like

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Speaker 1: declines the quality of a production in a lot of

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Speaker 1: different ways. And like I I'm just so happy to

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Speaker 1: see her back in movies. And I do hope this

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Speaker 1: means she can do more ship because she's really good

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Speaker 1: at doing this right. She's good at doing rom coms,

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Speaker 1: she's good at doing slapstick, okay, physical comedy. Um and

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Speaker 1: she also has like a humanity and a likability I

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Speaker 1: think that just most actresses can't create. It's like the

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Speaker 1: movie start quality, Like Julia Roberts c Yeah, when we

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Speaker 1: were talking about it, at dinner the other night, I

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Speaker 1: think Lawla said that she just feels very turned on,

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Speaker 1: and and that is absolutely how I felt watching the movie,

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Speaker 1: watching her whole press tour. The light is back in

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Speaker 1: her eyes, and you know, maybe she will be the

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Speaker 1: new Quein of Christmas and do one of these movies

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Speaker 1: like every year, every couple of years, or maybe she'll

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Speaker 1: you know, do something else next. I would love to

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Speaker 1: see her in a horror movie or something, because Lindsay

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Speaker 1: was so good in like every movie she did when

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Speaker 1: she was one of the most famous people in the world,

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Speaker 1: and there is potential there for her to make a return.

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Speaker 1: She is very talented, and you know, watching these interviews

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Speaker 1: and like pressed stuff she's doing, you realize, like Lindsay

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Speaker 1: really at one point she was the most famous person

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Speaker 1: in the world. She has all the hits, she has

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Speaker 1: been in, all of these like films that have left

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Speaker 1: indelible marks on pop culture, and so much of it

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Speaker 1: is because of her performance in them. So I'm happy

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Speaker 1: to see her back on my screen and I want

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Speaker 1: her to stay there. To me, she's like right for

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Speaker 1: the picking too now because okay, she's actually assented to

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Speaker 1: this part. This like height of celebrity where her celebrity

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Speaker 1: is a part of the performance, right, And so the

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Speaker 1: nostalgia for Lindsay Lohan, I think is something that should

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Speaker 1: that like a kind of Darren Aronofsky or like that's

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Speaker 1: like a crazy thing to say about, like or like

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Speaker 1: I don't even mother to Can you imagine like a

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Speaker 1: prestige director taking what Lindsay does and giving it like

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Speaker 1: a totally different vessel, like, because I think that what

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Speaker 1: we see, the kind of meta nature of Lindsay Lohan

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Speaker 1: in a movie and what she means to us culturally

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Speaker 1: is something that has like a lot of thematic depth

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Speaker 1: and if like a really amazing director got ahold of that.

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Speaker 1: I also think, like obviously I want her to do

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Speaker 1: rom comes too, but like she would eat in like

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Speaker 1: a prestige erotic thriller or something like that, Well she's

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Speaker 1: done those well not prestige. But have you ever seen

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Speaker 1: have you ever seen the movie I Know Who Killed Me? No?

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Speaker 1: But I have heard amazing thing. Um it's one of

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Speaker 1: the worst movies I've ever seen. But it does involve

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Speaker 1: a subplot where Lindsay gets one of her legs amputated

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Speaker 1: and then has a prosthetic that has to be charged

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Speaker 1: or else, like she won't be able to walk and

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Speaker 1: during a crucial chase sequence, like her leg powers down

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Speaker 1: because she forgot to charge it. It's a really it's

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Speaker 1: a really insane, insane movie, and she's a stripper in

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Speaker 1: it and she has a twin. Wow, incredible. I mean,

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Speaker 1: now I really want to watch that, but you should.

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Speaker 1: It's not worth watching. But like, see there's a version

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Speaker 1: of that movie that's like directed by like Sofia Coppola

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Speaker 1: or like or like you know, like the guy that

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Speaker 1: did Ex Machina or whatever. I could maybe see her

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Speaker 1: going the way of like what's been happening with Nicholas

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Speaker 1: Cage this year where he did that where he did

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Speaker 1: that movie that was sort of meta. I think you're

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Speaker 1: right that if she's going to do something prestige, her

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Speaker 1: celebrity has to be part of the film. Yeah, that

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Speaker 1: would be so good. I don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember what was the first media you were

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Speaker 1: titilated by viscerally? Viscerally? Because unfortunately, and yes, I was

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Speaker 1: one of those children, no one told me what jerking

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Speaker 1: off was. I figured it out on my own without

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Speaker 1: any instruction or knowledge of what masturbation was. Is that

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Speaker 1: not crazy? Um? But it was. I did not masturbate

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Speaker 1: to porn. What did you masturbate? Because I think I

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Speaker 1: knew what porn was. But uh, you know, as we've established,

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Speaker 1: my internet at home had like parental parental locks, child

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Speaker 1: safety stuff on it, so that the very first thing

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Speaker 1: that I ever consumed in a in a pornographic sense

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Speaker 1: was I was playing as you ever play mall tycoon?

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Speaker 1: Uh no, it's like it's like roller coaster tycoon if

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Speaker 1: you never played roller coaster tycoon. I played roller coaster okay,

336
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Speaker 1: but instead of building a roller coaster, you know, theme,

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Speaker 1: instead of building a theme park, you're building a mall. Yes,

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Speaker 1: so much better. It was so fun, Like I'd let

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Speaker 1: you know, to me, malls our theme park. And that

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00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 1: is pornographic, like like being like here's my auntie An's like,

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Speaker 1: here's where like my little like women's department store is,

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Speaker 1: here's my you know what I mean. I'm not really

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Speaker 1: seeing the comparison that how it's pornographic, but I'm sure

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Speaker 1: you'll get there. I just know not actually, um, So

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Speaker 1: what happened was I'm in a very pure time of

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Speaker 1: my life. I actually don't even know how old I was,

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Speaker 1: probably early early teens, not high school yet. I remember

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Speaker 1: during puberty, yes, during puberty, Yes, a normal a pretty

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Speaker 1: normal time, still not knowing what masturbation was, still not

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Speaker 1: knowing about the world that the secular world around me.

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00:21:59,320 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 1: I remember like building my little mall and seeing that

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00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:06,720
Speaker 1: inside this little like clothing store whatever, there are like

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00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: little sims like changing in their changing rooms. I'm not joking.

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Speaker 1: And you jerked off to that. And when I tell

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Speaker 1: you that, the that the person that I jerked that,

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Speaker 1: the sim that I jerked off to, had no nipples,

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Speaker 1: no vagina, like was barely like looked like a little

358
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Speaker 1: like monopoly piece like. So what got you off was

359
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:34,399
Speaker 1: playing God? What what got me was playing God and

360
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Speaker 1: knowing makes so much And the fact that I could

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Speaker 1: see her change because it was a woman. No, it was,

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Speaker 1: it was it was okay, I remember, I guess, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I could have been a non I know it was

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Speaker 1: definitely a woman. Um, how do you know? Did you ask?

365
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Speaker 1: I didn't ask because you were playing God. Yes I was.

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Speaker 1: But the fact that I was watching her, the voyeurism

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Speaker 1: of it, I brought myself to completion and rose to

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Speaker 1: completion and theode rose. I don't know what masturbation was.

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Speaker 1: So when I completed, so to speak, I was like,

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Speaker 1: what am I dying? I literally I was like, this

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00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 1: is bad? Do you? But like there is something wrong,

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Speaker 1: like this is this is rotten? Just this is bad,

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Speaker 1: and I like made a mess of myself. I luckily

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Speaker 1: was alone, like in this part, and like in the house.

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00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 1: I remember running back to my room and being like,

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Speaker 1: what is this stuff? You know what I mean? Like

377
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:35,160
Speaker 1: it was I was freaking out. And then of course

378
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 1: that opened up what would then be a lifetime of

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00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 1: hurricane and jerkin to whatever I could find. Um, what

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Speaker 1: about you? What was the what was the in seminary incident?

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00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 1: If you will not in seminary? I mean, I think

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Speaker 1: the first time I ever found I've talked about this before,

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Speaker 1: the first time I ever found like a piece of

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Speaker 1: media erotic was Halle Berry and Kyle mcla Backlin in

385
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:04,399
Speaker 1: the Flintstones movie. They just had this like crazy sexual

386
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Speaker 1: chemistry that I think was the first time I felt

387
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,840
Speaker 1: sort of the stirrings of bisexual desire within myself. But

388
00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:16,080
Speaker 1: the first time I ever masturbated to something was I

389
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Speaker 1: was at my dad's house one weekend, because you know,

390
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Speaker 1: I'm a child of divorce, and we did like every

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Speaker 1: other weekend my dad's and he and my brother had

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Speaker 1: gone out for something, and I was snooping, because like,

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Speaker 1: if there's one thing I'm gonna do when being left

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Speaker 1: alone somewhere, it's snoop, of course, and I can picture

395
00:24:31,600 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: it so vividly in this blue denim duffel bag and

396
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:39,440
Speaker 1: my dad's closet that was like very obviously like a

397
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:44,399
Speaker 1: thing that things were hidden in. I found a VHS

398
00:24:44,920 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: of a porn that was about like naughty schoolgirls, and I,

399
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 1: you know, put it in and I had never seen

400
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 1: people having sex on screen before. And there was like

401
00:24:59,119 --> 00:25:02,720
Speaker 1: a really hay very teacher in it who fucked all

402
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 1: the girls and he he became my god, Oh my god.

403
00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,640
Speaker 1: And so I would constantly try to get my brother

404
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,080
Speaker 1: my dad to go do stuff without me, which wasn't

405
00:25:14,119 --> 00:25:16,680
Speaker 1: hard because we didn't have any of the same interests.

406
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:19,639
Speaker 1: So I could stay home alone and just fab it

407
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 1: to that video. And then this was also around the

408
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:26,399
Speaker 1: same time that my mom had just gotten remarried and

409
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:31,040
Speaker 1: my stepdad had a subscription to Playboy. There were always

410
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Speaker 1: playboys in our house once we moved in with him,

411
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 1: and they were playboys, playboys everywhere, and I just had

412
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Speaker 1: like eleven twelve and I just had unrestricted access to them.

413
00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,880
Speaker 1: So yeah, those So actually, both of my father figures

414
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,520
Speaker 1: are like the people who gave me, you know, entree

415
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:56,879
Speaker 1: into pornography, which I guess like kind of makes sense.

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00:25:57,119 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 1: I'm kind of jealous because my parents really were tried

417
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,960
Speaker 1: and true, like pornography is the devil. Like there was

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Speaker 1: not a lick of anything erotic in my house. Like

419
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:11,560
Speaker 1: my parents definitely had a sex life, but like it

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00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 1: was not one that included pornography. I really didn't consume

421
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Speaker 1: porn until like probably like middle end of high school

422
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Speaker 1: for the first time. I was very precocious because this

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00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:27,080
Speaker 1: was also the time when I started reading fan fiction,

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Speaker 1: and as you know, a lot of fan fiction is porn,

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Speaker 1: so I was chafing myself reading a lot of Buffy porn.

426
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 1: There was one story specifically that I will never forget

427
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 1: because I don't know why I found it so um scintillating,

428
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:50,159
Speaker 1: but it was a story in which Angel for some

429
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: reason was in the hospital being take care of by

430
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 1: a nurse, which like would never happen because he's a vampire. Um,

431
00:26:56,760 --> 00:27:01,600
Speaker 1: and the nurse gave him a hand job. And I

432
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,240
Speaker 1: used to go back to that story all the time

433
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,160
Speaker 1: and jerk off to it. And there was something about

434
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,000
Speaker 1: it because like I was a die hard Bengel shipper,

435
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:11,960
Speaker 1: and there was something about Angel cheating on Buffy that

436
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: I like both hated and also was so turned off

437
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:19,120
Speaker 1: by God this nurse, this nurse who like she knew

438
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: they would never be together, she knew he loved Buffy,

439
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:26,879
Speaker 1: but she was gonna jerk him off anyway. Oh my gosh, okay, wait, wait,

440
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:31,600
Speaker 1: you're actually um on your uncovering something very deep right now,

441
00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 1: um fan fiction. I was not in the fan of

442
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 1: the online fan fiction world. However, I definitely wrote my

443
00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:44,240
Speaker 1: own erotica in high school about yourself. I am pretty

444
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:47,960
Speaker 1: sure I was putting myself. I was putting myself into it. Yeah,

445
00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,760
Speaker 1: And I had him. I had like a spiral bound

446
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 1: notebook that the covers I had um encased in duct tape,

447
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: you know how like we used to like duct tape

448
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 1: the covers of like our Yeah. Yeah, So it was

449
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 1: like one of those duck tape was very multib and

450
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:07,200
Speaker 1: I filled this notebook with feelthy, disgusting erotic stories about myself.

451
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 1: The only one I can really remember, there's this one

452
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:13,440
Speaker 1: that was like a kind of pool party scenario, and

453
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,160
Speaker 1: I remember like it was something about like taking off

454
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 1: this girl's swimsuit without her noticing, and then she stands

455
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 1: up in like her swimsuit is off, which is like

456
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:23,720
Speaker 1: obviously problematic and bad, but like but like I was

457
00:28:23,760 --> 00:28:27,159
Speaker 1: in I was in high school whatever, but literally, like

458
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:28,960
Speaker 1: what I'm trying to say is like these stories were

459
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:32,000
Speaker 1: like actually barely erotic, like they were. They were weird,

460
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,560
Speaker 1: like well, when you're not young, you just need the

461
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:40,400
Speaker 1: barest suggestion you have eroticism, nudity contact, yeah, and then

462
00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 1: you just dry hump yourself like on a pillow or whatever.

463
00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:47,280
Speaker 1: I similarly used to draw just like naked bodies and

464
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 1: like really like not well but like even just drawing

465
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,920
Speaker 1: a boob, I would just like, oh, I used to

466
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,880
Speaker 1: draw like we we've mentioned on previous episodes, Like I

467
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,320
Speaker 1: used to draw like Greek mythology figures. I used to

468
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,520
Speaker 1: draw like superheroes or whatever, but like all of their

469
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 1: suits would be like too small for them, so like

470
00:29:03,720 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: they're yes, they looked fully like this on this Jennifer

471
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,000
Speaker 1: Anderson a lure cover like right now of like the

472
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 1: teeny tiny like chanel like nipple clamps over her like

473
00:29:14,680 --> 00:29:18,280
Speaker 1: huge breasts. That's what like my drawings look like. But gag.

474
00:29:18,600 --> 00:29:22,280
Speaker 1: I remember writing all these erotic stories and then reaching

475
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: like an apex of my shame because I was still

476
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,400
Speaker 1: a Christian. I wasn't supposed to do any of this stuff,

477
00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:28,960
Speaker 1: and I reached it like a kind of come to Jesus,

478
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:32,480
Speaker 1: so to speak. Mon came to Jesus, and I was like,

479
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 1: I can't be doing this anymore, and rose should you not?

480
00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 1: I ripped out every single page we just so said,

481
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 1: can you imagine if I still had this, this this talisman,

482
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 1: I'm artifacts pretty sticky. Yeah. I ripped out every single page,

483
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 1: tore it into teeny tiny little pieces, and then took

484
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: the pile of pieces, you know, I took the tiny

485
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 1: piees and soaked them in water and my bathroom to

486
00:29:59,360 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 1: verify the no say yes so that well that's what

487
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: they could never be discovered. Like I'm not joking. I

488
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,920
Speaker 1: created my art, my art into this like pulp this

489
00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: you made, you made, you turned it into sculpture, mixed media. Yeah,

490
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:17,600
Speaker 1: it was paper. But you know, I think like early

491
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: fumblings are all about shame and like the fear of

492
00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:26,880
Speaker 1: getting caught. I did get caught once by my mom.

493
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 1: So the way that when the house I grew up in,

494
00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:35,160
Speaker 1: my brother and I had two bedrooms, um, and then

495
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:38,920
Speaker 1: like a shared what we used as an office in

496
00:30:39,040 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 1: front of our bedrooms. Like that's why I would sitting

497
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 1: and do my homework. That's where our computer was. But

498
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:45,360
Speaker 1: it was like the room that you had to go

499
00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,120
Speaker 1: through to get to our bedroom, so like was not

500
00:30:48,200 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 1: in any way securable. You know, I couldn't lock the

501
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:52,360
Speaker 1: door because like my brother would need to get in

502
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 1: or get out. But I still like would stay up

503
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: late until the night after my brother was asleep because

504
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:59,000
Speaker 1: he was a heavy sleeper. I would be out there

505
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 1: like it in fan fiction. And then eventually, like I discovered,

506
00:31:02,680 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 1: you know, how to find porn on the internet, and

507
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: like specifically gay porn. And there was one night when

508
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,840
Speaker 1: I was just like sitting there and jerking off and

509
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: the door opened and my mom walked in, like obviously

510
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:17,160
Speaker 1: she knew what was happening, and like I knew what

511
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:20,720
Speaker 1: was happening, but she just kind of was like dinner's ready,

512
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,160
Speaker 1: and then like closed the door and it just there

513
00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 1: was nothing said about it. Oh my god. Really that

514
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:28,320
Speaker 1: was the only time I ever got caught, um, but

515
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:32,440
Speaker 1: I was so ashamed of it. And then, like I think,

516
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: very soon after that, I asked for my own computer

517
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: that was in my bedroom, And so my bedroom had

518
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 1: a wall of closets on it, and I moved a

519
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 1: little desk into one of the closets and put my

520
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 1: computer into into the closet, and like I would just

521
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: be up all like listening to the Wicked soundtrack and

522
00:31:54,560 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: jerk it off, listening to Evanescence and jerking is there's

523
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,120
Speaker 1: a scene in there that could be jerked off to?

524
00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:04,840
Speaker 1: There's a sex scenes and the sex scene between Pharaoh

525
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,880
Speaker 1: and Alphabo. Yeah, isn't isn't it? Isn't it sexy? Or

526
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 1: it's I mean it's sexy, but not. I mean, well,

527
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 1: the thing is, when you're a horny teenager, and especially

528
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:19,120
Speaker 1: a horny teenage boy, I think, like, I mean, at

529
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:22,360
Speaker 1: least that's my experience. That's how I was socialized. Everything

530
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:38,880
Speaker 1: is that you can make anything sexy. Where I got

531
00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:42,880
Speaker 1: most of my horn from the Internet was downloading it

532
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:47,880
Speaker 1: off of lime Wire and Napster. I wish how to

533
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:50,280
Speaker 1: do that. I want to know. I'm going to show

534
00:32:50,320 --> 00:32:53,760
Speaker 1: you a video. I don't really want to say the porn.

535
00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,960
Speaker 1: I just want to see if you recognize the screenshot

536
00:32:57,160 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 1: because I feel like it's so indelible. Do you know

537
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,400
Speaker 1: this one? No? Actually no, you don't know? Though why

538
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,640
Speaker 1: I don't think so? So will you read the caption

539
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 1: that read we we might beleeve it out but real

540
00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: pound And it's definitely I have definitely seen someone like

541
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 1: tweet this before and be like if you know, you know,

542
00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,400
Speaker 1: and like everyone knows this is a video that has

543
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 1: been They're not They're not real brothers, are they? They

544
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,520
Speaker 1: might be? Have you ever seen check Twins? I think

545
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:32,840
Speaker 1: like that's the whole thing is that they are actually

546
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:35,560
Speaker 1: have you have you seen check Twins on TikTok? I've

547
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:41,000
Speaker 1: seen I've seen I've seen porn of Check Twins. Are

548
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:43,600
Speaker 1: you talking about the Bellamy Twins? Well? No, okay, are

549
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,480
Speaker 1: they Bellamy? I don't know. I I they're not. They're

550
00:33:46,480 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 1: not the type that I look for imporn, So I've

551
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:51,360
Speaker 1: never seen porn. But I saw them all over TikTok

552
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: and I was like, who these like gay boys are

553
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: really good friends. And then like someone, I heard someone

554
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,479
Speaker 1: talk about them on the podcast about how they're twins

555
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:03,720
Speaker 1: that look and I was like, what like these innocent

556
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 1: TikTok tweens these guys look like and not and not

557
00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:11,640
Speaker 1: like in a boyfriend twin way, like in a same

558
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 1: gene pool web. Okay, look, there are a lot of

559
00:34:13,880 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 1: things that are considered social taboo that like we all did.

560
00:34:16,360 --> 00:34:18,400
Speaker 1: Here's the thing about incest. There's no one in my

561
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 1: family that I want to fuck. Yeah, that's listen. If

562
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:24,400
Speaker 1: Game of Thrones and specifically House of the Dragon have

563
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:29,279
Speaker 1: proven anything, it's that people are turned on by incest. Yeah, absolutely,

564
00:34:29,360 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 1: And I actually yeah, so I do think at a

565
00:34:37,680 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 1: certain point in my life, I became, you know, a

566
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 1: porn connoisseur. I did stop eventually jerking off to fan fiction,

567
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: but I did um still read erotica. There was this

568
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,799
Speaker 1: website I don't I would love to know if either

569
00:34:52,239 --> 00:34:56,439
Speaker 1: if you or Phoebe ever visited it, litt erotica dot com.

570
00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:01,360
Speaker 1: It was a website that was like an archive of erotica.

571
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 1: And there was this one story that I used to

572
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,919
Speaker 1: jerk off to all the time that I has still

573
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:11,279
Speaker 1: like as recently as like three years ago, went and

574
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:14,840
Speaker 1: found it. And it's because the name is so specific

575
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,120
Speaker 1: that like I'll never forget it and we'll always be

576
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,120
Speaker 1: able to find it. What is the name? It's called

577
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:25,439
Speaker 1: Uncle Ronnie's new whore Ronnie. Wait, they had to say,

578
00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 1: like Ronnie, I guess that's very moon struck of you. Um,

579
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 1: you don't so you don't need pictures to get there? No,

580
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 1: at and and and in recent years, definitely post transition, UM,

581
00:35:38,040 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 1: my desire became much less centered around porn um and

582
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:48,399
Speaker 1: im like I was always able to jerk off two

583
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,200
Speaker 1: things that weren't images. And I think that the way

584
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:55,200
Speaker 1: that has progressed is that now, um, like in my thirties,

585
00:35:56,160 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: I sometimes am just masturbating, like not even necessarily too fantasies,

586
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,320
Speaker 1: but just like to the sensation of my body alone.

587
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: Although there is one particular memory I do go back

588
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: to a lot when I need to come. I used

589
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:13,400
Speaker 1: to go to the sex party when I was in college,

590
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 1: and one time fucked this guy who was just like

591
00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:20,320
Speaker 1: so hot, and he wore this red underwear and I

592
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 1: will just never forget the image of him like on

593
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 1: top of me, like riding my dick in the middle

594
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: of like a room full of people fucking. And that's

595
00:36:29,080 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 1: always like when you talk about spank bank, like that

596
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 1: is I turned my own experience into the porn. Uh.

597
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,839
Speaker 1: And that's the thing I will always go back to. Okay, wait,

598
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:42,759
Speaker 1: I UM also have a memory in my spank bank

599
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:47,400
Speaker 1: and it's when I sucked this masseuse and like mid massage,

600
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 1: and it was like, so I've already told you the story.

601
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: I'm not going to get into it for the virgin

602
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:54,280
Speaker 1: sorry virgins, um, I tell I tell the story actually

603
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:55,920
Speaker 1: an episode of Food for Thought. You can find it.

604
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:59,239
Speaker 1: But like I it is actually like it was the

605
00:36:59,360 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 1: creation of my own pornography, like my real life pornographic experience.

606
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 1: And I was like I literally was experiencing it, and

607
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 1: I remember being like I feel like I'm in a

608
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 1: porn right now, Like this is a yag, you know

609
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:12,440
Speaker 1: what I mean? Do you have any Have you ever

610
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: taken video of yourself sucking? Um? Actually, unfortunately no, I've

611
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 1: had I've had someone else take videos, like well we

612
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 1: had sex, but uh no, I get most of the

613
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 1: people that I have sex with I don't trust that much. Well,

614
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,640
Speaker 1: that's why you keep it on your phone, because I

615
00:37:31,840 --> 00:37:38,120
Speaker 1: have videos on my phone of of situations, but I

616
00:37:38,400 --> 00:37:40,360
Speaker 1: was the one who took them, although the guy was

617
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,200
Speaker 1: the one who suggested it, but he never asked for

618
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,320
Speaker 1: the videos, And like, I mean, I don't think I

619
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 1: would really have cared there are naked pictures of me

620
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: on the internet. Don't go looking for them. There are

621
00:37:49,719 --> 00:37:51,759
Speaker 1: no naked pictures of me on the internet. And to

622
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,919
Speaker 1: be honest, I'm offended. Like I actually like I send

623
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,800
Speaker 1: my nutes to everyone, and I feel like they should

624
00:37:57,800 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 1: have leaked by now, and like there's just like really

625
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,040
Speaker 1: horrible website that like, you know, like tries to find

626
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 1: It's like a reddit where you like try to find

627
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: people's nudes or whatever, which is like literally organized sexual assault. Um.

628
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,439
Speaker 1: But anyways, there's a page for me. We're like people

629
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 1: were like, we can't find friends nudes or whatever, and

630
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,680
Speaker 1: I was like, should I drop one? You should drop one?

631
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:18,359
Speaker 1: Just drop one one to the people. I do, though,

632
00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:23,960
Speaker 1: masturbate to the videos of me having sex regularly. I

633
00:38:24,040 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: think it's it's really hot. Although the thing that I

634
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 1: hate about them is that I had a really bad

635
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,800
Speaker 1: sunburn in them, and it's very distracting. Not a bad sunburn.

636
00:38:34,360 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 1: Oh no, was it like a specific shape or was

637
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:39,280
Speaker 1: it just because I had been wearing like a strappy

638
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 1: dress so I had like my my, I'm like all

639
00:38:42,640 --> 00:38:48,440
Speaker 1: read except for one thing. Look look now, you know

640
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:52,319
Speaker 1: next time you were you know, heavier SPF. I guess um.

641
00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:56,000
Speaker 1: I definitely have a hidden folder on my phone where

642
00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 1: you know people who have consentually sent me like videos

643
00:38:58,440 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 1: or nudes like I returned to them definitely, And I

644
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,800
Speaker 1: would probably prefer that over porn a lot of the

645
00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 1: time because part of what gets me off is intimacy

646
00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:12,359
Speaker 1: and and knowing that it's a possibility for me, which

647
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 1: is kind of crazy. But like I obviously like consume

648
00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: porn to love porn, Twitter love porn, Tumbler, r I

649
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:22,279
Speaker 1: p oh my god, tumbler porn, and air i p um.

650
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:25,000
Speaker 1: Are there specific tropes that you look for in porn

651
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,040
Speaker 1: or do you consider it to be quite a wide rain. Well,

652
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:34,719
Speaker 1: I need a porn with the story, Like I like

653
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 1: the setup more than the fucking the people. I need

654
00:39:40,760 --> 00:39:43,160
Speaker 1: to know why we're there. I need to know who's who.

655
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 1: I need the position. But I just need like at

656
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: least a scene at the I need, you know, because now,

657
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,000
Speaker 1: so much of porn is like when you want like

658
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,280
Speaker 1: porn Hub, it's you know, like a six minute preview

659
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,719
Speaker 1: of a longer video that's pay wald er, like on

660
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 1: someone's only fans. But they still give you a little

661
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:01,759
Speaker 1: bit of the set up in the beginning before they

662
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 1: get to the good stuff. But I'm just still I'm

663
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:08,719
Speaker 1: still shook that this is I've like never in my

664
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:12,960
Speaker 1: life paid attention to a porn snared. Actually, there's one

665
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 1: porn that I can think of that takes place in

666
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:17,399
Speaker 1: the fourth of July where this guy puts his dick

667
00:40:17,520 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: in a hot dog bun and and put the mustard

668
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,720
Speaker 1: on it. Yes, and they also try to I'm not joking.

669
00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:24,960
Speaker 1: And in this point it's like it unfortunately has a

670
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:27,879
Speaker 1: porn actor that he's like the most basic twank ever,

671
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 1: but like I always watch his porns. But in this

672
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 1: same point, they also play ping pong with their dicks.

673
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 1: They literally try It looks painful. They literally try to

674
00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,080
Speaker 1: hit the ping pong balls with their erect penises. Have

675
00:40:40,200 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 1: you ever done drugs off someone's dick or had or

676
00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,160
Speaker 1: had someone do drugs off your dick? I have a

677
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 1: vague I have an unfortunately a really vague memory of

678
00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:51,400
Speaker 1: doing of of doing coke off someone's dick, but I

679
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 1: can't really replace it, which is really bad. I've done

680
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 1: so I was really up. I've done coke off a

681
00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 1: couple of people's sticks, and ally it's hot. It's just

682
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 1: it's actually not hot. It's mostly silly. Okay, Actually, let's

683
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,920
Speaker 1: let's say that porn is silly at the end of

684
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: the day. Porn really is kind of silly. Porn is

685
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:16,879
Speaker 1: is goofy Mormon porn is really funny to me. Well,

686
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 1: I was, okay, so like, let's talk about it. I

687
00:41:21,160 --> 00:41:25,800
Speaker 1: am technically a porn star. I have appeared in a

688
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:30,800
Speaker 1: porn in a in a like specifically goofy porn. For

689
00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:34,279
Speaker 1: anyone who you know doesn't know this best the parting

690
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,799
Speaker 1: actress Hello, I was a featured performer in A Tale

691
00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:41,879
Speaker 1: of Two Cocks. Um I was. I got flew out,

692
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:46,320
Speaker 1: I was flown out to London to be in porn

693
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,000
Speaker 1: starring the cock Destroyers Rebecca Moore and our friends and

694
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:54,760
Speaker 1: um Sophie and our good friend friend of the podcast

695
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 1: for my Mitchell former podcast. Um. So yes, that is

696
00:41:59,719 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 1: a very a goofy porn that I've never seen all

697
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,319
Speaker 1: the way through. I've only I've seen my scenes. I've

698
00:42:04,360 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 1: actually never watched any of the sex from it. I have,

699
00:42:08,640 --> 00:42:12,000
Speaker 1: but it was really being on a porn set was

700
00:42:12,400 --> 00:42:14,520
Speaker 1: pretty funny. Yeah, what was What were some of the

701
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: things that you remember? Um well, I mean, obviously my

702
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,360
Speaker 1: experience was a little different because you know, I was

703
00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 1: there to like be in the porn interview Rebecca and

704
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 1: Sophie and like it was, you know, kind of non

705
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,879
Speaker 1: traditional in that way. Although I guess like men dot

706
00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: Com does this, especially like bringing you know, kind of

707
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: gay icons and like putting them in bonds and just

708
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 1: like a like a cameo. Kim Petras was in a

709
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 1: mean dot com. I think wasn't like fair Pheromone was

710
00:42:42,480 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 1: in an dot com. I don't know. I wrote a

711
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:47,799
Speaker 1: porn for Manila Luzon that I don't know if they

712
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:53,040
Speaker 1: ever actually made. But I like the day that I

713
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:55,279
Speaker 1: was on set, they weren't filming any fucking They were

714
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,719
Speaker 1: only filming the framing scenes. So I loved that because

715
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,880
Speaker 1: that's my favorite part. Of course, love the narrative. But

716
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 1: I think like it was, it was very fun. It

717
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: was very tedious, Like I mean, it's like with any

718
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 1: set it's like hurry up and wait. You know, you

719
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,640
Speaker 1: just like spend most of your time waiting and then

720
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:14,680
Speaker 1: like then they need you when they need you, and

721
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,400
Speaker 1: you have to like come right now, and um, I

722
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:21,279
Speaker 1: mean literally come right now. I didn't. Um. I'm sure

723
00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 1: porn have having not been a leading perform a leading

724
00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:29,960
Speaker 1: performer in an adult film. I'm sure it is, you know,

725
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,360
Speaker 1: somewhat tedious, but it must be impossible. It sounds so

726
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 1: hard to me. But like, does money turn you on

727
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:40,320
Speaker 1: in porn? Um? Narratively, like if if Lady Gaga's Beautiful

728
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,759
Speaker 1: Dirty Rich video was adapted into a porn that would

729
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:47,799
Speaker 1: be number one people people fucking on money? That would

730
00:43:47,800 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 1: be hot. Wow, Okay, I love that. I want to

731
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:53,000
Speaker 1: know more about like what tropes you like seek out

732
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:57,759
Speaker 1: in porn or like if there's something you specifically if

733
00:43:57,800 --> 00:44:00,800
Speaker 1: not one like for me, it's like it's it's usually

734
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 1: about voyeurism or something that's like public or and or

735
00:44:09,280 --> 00:44:12,040
Speaker 1: actually and it is and like this is actually a

736
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:16,280
Speaker 1: need for me imporn. I can't do like the slow

737
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:19,600
Speaker 1: and low stroker, like I can't do someone who is

738
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:22,800
Speaker 1: like giving like emotion and like passion, like I just

739
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 1: actually want to be like thrown around and hit like

740
00:44:26,880 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. But that's all I want

741
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: to see important. But that's actually brings me to a

742
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:36,359
Speaker 1: good question. Is the porn that you actively seek out,

743
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 1: is that actually a reflection of the sex that you

744
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,840
Speaker 1: want to have, or is it totally divorced from the

745
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,759
Speaker 1: sex you want to have and it's purely fantasy or

746
00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 1: is a little bit of both, maybe a little bit

747
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 1: of both. I definitely, um, there are a lot of

748
00:44:50,200 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 1: things imporn that I would not enjoy in real life.

749
00:44:53,120 --> 00:44:56,760
Speaker 1: Like I don't think I would enjoy a gang bang

750
00:44:56,920 --> 00:44:58,719
Speaker 1: at the end of the day. I would probably enjoy

751
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:01,000
Speaker 1: like the first like ten minutes of it, you know

752
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,080
Speaker 1: what I mean, Like are the first like the person

753
00:45:03,200 --> 00:45:05,959
Speaker 1: getting fucked or as one of the bangers. Honestly, either

754
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie, Probably you could just leave pretty quick,

755
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 1: I think being the star. If I was the one

756
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:15,160
Speaker 1: getting banged, I would probably get too anxious anyways, But like,

757
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 1: I don't know, that does not sound fun. I mean,

758
00:45:18,719 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 1: some of our bravest warriors are gang bang bottoms. Ye,

759
00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 1: gang bang bottoms with like braver than the marine. Yeah,

760
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 1: holds the size of like tennis balls. You know what

761
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: I mean, like prolapsed as flashed through my head. But

762
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:36,200
Speaker 1: like I yeah, no, I like fisting porn. Not really No,

763
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 1: actually don't. I don't. And I actually feel like I

764
00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:42,279
Speaker 1: kind of had to, Like I was, I was. I

765
00:45:42,400 --> 00:45:44,799
Speaker 1: was with someone recently who like forced me to fist them,

766
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 1: and I was so it was it was hot because

767
00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:51,360
Speaker 1: they were enjoying it. But like like fisting people, I know,

768
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,000
Speaker 1: I just here's that. I have no problem with fisting.

769
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: I like, I just like it. For me. It's it

770
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 1: wasn't hot, and I think it has a lot to

771
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,920
Speaker 1: you with like how beat up this hole was. And

772
00:46:03,000 --> 00:46:06,200
Speaker 1: I was just like I was like, oh my god, girl,

773
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:08,840
Speaker 1: I mean, fisting bottom a lot of times you're causing

774
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:11,440
Speaker 1: like permanent alteration to like the size and shape of

775
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:14,040
Speaker 1: your whole. And I was like to Dr Evan gold

776
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:19,720
Speaker 1: Evan Goldstein, that also is like something to not endorse

777
00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 1: on the pot like botox and your anus, Like you

778
00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,440
Speaker 1: should you should not be doing that, you know what

779
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 1: I mean, unless you have to, of course, but like

780
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:30,440
Speaker 1: don't like plan to ruin your whole, you know what

781
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 1: I mean, Like everyone, even fisting bottoms, need to be

782
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: careful about how they like engage. Anyways, what I'm trying

783
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:38,879
Speaker 1: to say is this person like was one of those

784
00:46:38,960 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 1: like bottoms where like their their whole and they're like

785
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,760
Speaker 1: there the inside of their body is like so desensitized

786
00:46:45,840 --> 00:46:47,719
Speaker 1: to like any kind of sex that they could only

787
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: come if they get like hit by a car, you

788
00:46:49,600 --> 00:46:53,520
Speaker 1: know what I mean. That's really like how it is.

789
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:55,400
Speaker 1: And I was like, I was like, I just I

790
00:46:55,480 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 1: was like, I just topped you for like an hour

791
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 1: and a half, bro, like couldn't feel like, yeah, exactly

792
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,879
Speaker 1: called people bro when you suck them never never, never,

793
00:47:03,440 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: And if anyone called me bro, I would call them

794
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:09,600
Speaker 1: out bottom out there. If you're listening, don't listen to her.

795
00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,719
Speaker 1: You are beautiful. Your asshole is beautiful just the way

796
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 1: it is. Okay, wait, here's here's a nasty question. Since

797
00:47:16,360 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 1: you asked me about being a bro or just be

798
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:21,200
Speaker 1: getting called a group bro, what are some things? Is

799
00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:25,279
Speaker 1: there anything that happens during sex that you would just

800
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,719
Speaker 1: never happen in real life or something that that that's

801
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:31,799
Speaker 1: like something that something that you know has occurred during

802
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 1: sex where you just like that is antithetical to like

803
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 1: who I am as a person. But I just did

804
00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,520
Speaker 1: it because I was horny in in the moment. Well,

805
00:47:37,600 --> 00:47:40,080
Speaker 1: I don't know about sex so much, but I definitely

806
00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:43,279
Speaker 1: feel that way about like porn and I watched you know,

807
00:47:43,440 --> 00:47:46,720
Speaker 1: there are there are are porns that I have watched

808
00:47:46,920 --> 00:47:49,760
Speaker 1: or types of porn that I watched that the second

809
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 1: I come, it's like I have to throw my computer

810
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:55,240
Speaker 1: against the wall and then it breaks into a million

811
00:47:55,320 --> 00:48:01,919
Speaker 1: pieces and go into witness protection. It's like like the set.

812
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 1: Like the second I feel to come, I'm like, I

813
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:07,839
Speaker 1: have to call myself. I am the most susting person

814
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 1: in the world. Yes, it's post First of all, that's

815
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 1: a scientific phenomenon post quatal tree stie have balance. It's

816
00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 1: why I still watch all pouring on my phone in

817
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 1: an incognito window, even though it's my phone. It is

818
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:24,520
Speaker 1: literally I also so I now no longer use incognito

819
00:48:24,560 --> 00:48:27,080
Speaker 1: mode on my computer. If you typed in literally any

820
00:48:27,160 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 1: letter is gonna be dripping, and especially if you type

821
00:48:33,200 --> 00:48:36,880
Speaker 1: like x or whatever, like just never into my anyways,

822
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 1: um x x X. Ryan is so good at finding

823
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:44,920
Speaker 1: photoshopped nudes of male celebrities just by looking up celebrity

824
00:48:45,040 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 1: name gay x x X. That is that is the formula.

825
00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:52,240
Speaker 1: I love fake celebrity needs. They're so funny. They're so funny.

826
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 1: But when you find either a really bad one or

827
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,840
Speaker 1: a really convincing ones, those are the job that can

828
00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:00,480
Speaker 1: really get you home. Um yeah, I can seem a

829
00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:02,759
Speaker 1: range of porn. I'm actually pretty proud of that. Like

830
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:04,760
Speaker 1: if you if you went to my like porn Twitter,

831
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:09,080
Speaker 1: like I I like a range of things, but um, yeah,

832
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:13,279
Speaker 1: I drink into some really basic porn like little you know,

833
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,920
Speaker 1: like just like twunks, like like basic white twunks with

834
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 1: the little baby voices that are like like sometimes yeah,

835
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 1: like I hate that ship, but it's like so it

836
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:26,800
Speaker 1: happens that. Yeah, I mean I definitely, certainly, I certainly

837
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:30,279
Speaker 1: have desires that I am shamed by. But there's nothing

838
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 1: that I do in my actual physical sex life that

839
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,719
Speaker 1: I'm not like happy to own up to. But I

840
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:41,800
Speaker 1: think that's also as a product of not being very kinky.

841
00:49:42,120 --> 00:49:47,200
Speaker 1: I'm pretty vanilla, and that's that's I mean, Well, I

842
00:49:47,320 --> 00:49:49,800
Speaker 1: think you're seeing you're I think you think you're vanilla

843
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:53,480
Speaker 1: in comparison to your friends, but I don't I don't

844
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,719
Speaker 1: know if you're holy totally, I wouldn't go, well, the

845
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:58,320
Speaker 1: kind of the kind of sex that I'm usually seeking

846
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:02,759
Speaker 1: out is pretty tame. I you know, I like very

847
00:50:02,880 --> 00:50:07,080
Speaker 1: basic kind of you know, you love missionary, not not missionary,

848
00:50:07,200 --> 00:50:10,120
Speaker 1: but like, I'm really more interested for play than fucking.

849
00:50:10,800 --> 00:50:15,640
Speaker 1: But I really like asses, Like I love I love holes.

850
00:50:15,880 --> 00:50:18,239
Speaker 1: I just I love eating people out. It's like my

851
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:22,600
Speaker 1: favorite thing to do. Um and I mean and fingering people.

852
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:24,359
Speaker 1: And that's why I like, I do like fisting, even

853
00:50:24,400 --> 00:50:27,160
Speaker 1: though I haven't done it that much. Yeah, I don't

854
00:50:27,160 --> 00:50:31,600
Speaker 1: think there's anything that I'm into sexually that I'm I

855
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:34,800
Speaker 1: wouldn't want to own up to, because I also have

856
00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:37,440
Speaker 1: had a life and a career where I have been

857
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 1: very open sexual to pretty much the entirety of the

858
00:50:44,239 --> 00:50:47,360
Speaker 1: people I know and the Internet. That's actually true of

859
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:49,719
Speaker 1: me as well. I've talked about pretty much almost every

860
00:50:49,760 --> 00:50:52,360
Speaker 1: sexual experience I've ever had on Food for Thought, and

861
00:50:52,640 --> 00:50:54,640
Speaker 1: I I think for me one of the things that

862
00:50:54,680 --> 00:50:57,520
Speaker 1: I was thinking about that I actually really like in bed.

863
00:50:57,640 --> 00:51:00,640
Speaker 1: But I think it's just kind of like what the like.

864
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 1: I love when guys are like, I'm gonna get you

865
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:07,720
Speaker 1: so fucking pregnant, you know what I mean? When guys

866
00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,800
Speaker 1: are Yeah, when guys are like Yeah, you want like

867
00:51:09,920 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 1: daddy's milk or something like something, do something disgusting. Yeah, yeah,

868
00:51:14,840 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 1: nobody's specifically them. Yeah, like I'm gonna get you so

869
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 1: fucking pregnant, like literally, like they will not stop talking

870
00:51:21,080 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 1: about getting me pregnant, and that to me, it's like

871
00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 1: a little jennerifirming. I'm not gonna lie. But the idea,

872
00:51:25,680 --> 00:51:29,239
Speaker 1: I mean total is body horror to me, like I

873
00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 1: could never, would never be pregnant. Ever, I don't believe

874
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:38,000
Speaker 1: though that what you're saying is that you're into white

875
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,320
Speaker 1: twins is the most shameful porn thing that you're into. Definitely,

876
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 1: let's dig a little deeper, you think, OK, so, what's

877
00:51:43,600 --> 00:51:46,719
Speaker 1: the kind of porn that you, you know, engage with

878
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:50,280
Speaker 1: that you are ashamed by, that you are comfortable revealing

879
00:51:50,360 --> 00:51:55,040
Speaker 1: to the virgins? This is a safe space, um well

880
00:51:55,719 --> 00:52:00,439
Speaker 1: from all the thousands of people listening. Yeah, to be honest,

881
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 1: I'm not really ashamed, so to speak. Congruoss to me,

882
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:08,360
Speaker 1: like like anything that you think people would think you

883
00:52:08,440 --> 00:52:12,480
Speaker 1: should be ashamed of. Yes, I mean I love coercive

884
00:52:12,560 --> 00:52:16,440
Speaker 1: porn like I love coercion. I don't watch rape poorn

885
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 1: if that's like your kink like, you know, that's like

886
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:20,360
Speaker 1: a whole other conversation that we don't need to have.

887
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 1: But like I do like when people are like like

888
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:28,120
Speaker 1: kind of they don't want it, So like when the

889
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:31,080
Speaker 1: character doesn't want do well, do you do you watch

890
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:36,440
Speaker 1: gay porn where one of the guys is straightercive porn? No, no, no, no,

891
00:52:36,640 --> 00:52:38,640
Speaker 1: that doesn't get me off. Straight people don't don't hate

892
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,920
Speaker 1: I hate that. That's the majority of gay porn is

893
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:46,920
Speaker 1: still centered around the idea of getting a straight guy

894
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 1: to it's not sexy to me, but you know what

895
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:53,200
Speaker 1: the closest thing that sexy to me is is fraternity

896
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:57,160
Speaker 1: brother porn. Oh really, yes, there's this there's this psych

897
00:52:57,200 --> 00:53:00,920
Speaker 1: called fraternity X And it's all like these like college

898
00:53:01,040 --> 00:53:05,560
Speaker 1: quote unquote people like like hazing each other and the

899
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:08,239
Speaker 1: coercion of that. I feel like people would like be

900
00:53:08,320 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 1: like you should be so ashamed of that, and it's like, no,

901
00:53:10,360 --> 00:53:12,880
Speaker 1: it's it's like a part. It's like I think, like

902
00:53:13,040 --> 00:53:16,200
Speaker 1: like hazing porn. It's like hazing porn. Oh my god,

903
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 1: isn't that really like so not me? Yeah, but it's

904
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 1: so not you that it kind of I kind of

905
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:24,279
Speaker 1: get it. The thing the trope, the things that if

906
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,400
Speaker 1: they're I'm attracted to do a lot of things. And

907
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:29,080
Speaker 1: I think that the through line and most of the

908
00:53:29,200 --> 00:53:32,400
Speaker 1: porn that I watch is about a power dynamic. I

909
00:53:32,440 --> 00:53:34,759
Speaker 1: think that's actually true probably of most people, but like

910
00:53:34,880 --> 00:53:38,800
Speaker 1: for me, I I do like specifically like a specific

911
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 1: sub and a specific dom somewhere in the mix of

912
00:53:42,160 --> 00:53:44,600
Speaker 1: what this is. And I in my own sexual life

913
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:48,400
Speaker 1: like playing both roles. And that's something I've only recently

914
00:53:48,440 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 1: discovered it by myself. I feel. Have you ever watched

915
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 1: porn in public in like a theatrical um arena? No,

916
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:15,840
Speaker 1: not outside of or outside of like Eastern Block, you know,

917
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:17,680
Speaker 1: going to the Eagle or whatever where there's porn on

918
00:54:17,719 --> 00:54:20,000
Speaker 1: the walls. So you've never been to one of those

919
00:54:20,080 --> 00:54:23,560
Speaker 1: like adult xxx like video like porn stores that have

920
00:54:23,800 --> 00:54:27,560
Speaker 1: the video booths. Have you? You give that vibe? Okay? Well,

921
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: so you know I went to college in in like

922
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 1: posted Giuliani in New York City when those were like

923
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:37,920
Speaker 1: not as available but still existed, and like um, you know,

924
00:54:38,160 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 1: especially in like midtown um in Chelsea and Hill's Kitchen. Yeah,

925
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:47,200
Speaker 1: I used to like go to the place where they

926
00:54:47,239 --> 00:54:49,960
Speaker 1: have the video booths and you know, they're like glory

927
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 1: holes or like you see someone's like in a room

928
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 1: with the door open, jerking off, and you know, things

929
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:58,560
Speaker 1: happen that I would be very into that. It's some

930
00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,879
Speaker 1: it can be hot, um, I mean it was hot

931
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:05,840
Speaker 1: for me. Was like one of the early ways I

932
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:09,480
Speaker 1: found just to like find people you know before your

933
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:14,000
Speaker 1: um like when you're still figuring out cruising, that is

934
00:55:14,239 --> 00:55:19,120
Speaker 1: a way to get laid. I also have watched um

935
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:22,399
Speaker 1: porn that someone made in the room with them. Did

936
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:25,400
Speaker 1: we talk about this? Did I talked about Definitely? Not? Okay.

937
00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:28,480
Speaker 1: I when I was in like when I lived on

938
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:34,200
Speaker 1: the Lower Side, Um, like right after college. We my apartment.

939
00:55:34,280 --> 00:55:35,480
Speaker 1: There were five of us who lived there and we

940
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:37,200
Speaker 1: were friends with like a lot of the people who

941
00:55:37,239 --> 00:55:40,080
Speaker 1: lived in our building. And our upstairs neighbors were this

942
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 1: straight couple who we used to hang out with a lot.

943
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:47,080
Speaker 1: They were like very cool and one time, we remember this,

944
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:49,600
Speaker 1: one time we went up to their place and they

945
00:55:49,920 --> 00:55:52,360
Speaker 1: like there was a video camera set up and I

946
00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:54,360
Speaker 1: think one of us jokingly asked, like, what were you

947
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:58,560
Speaker 1: guys like filming yourself having sex? And right shar was there, yeah,

948
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:01,640
Speaker 1: and she was like and they were like, yeah, actually,

949
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 1: like do you want to watch it? And like a

950
00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:07,600
Speaker 1: party of us like watched as they turn a projector

951
00:56:07,760 --> 00:56:12,200
Speaker 1: up to the up to the ceiling and like the

952
00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:17,800
Speaker 1: watching their sex table and people and people like slowly

953
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 1: filed out like one after one, until by the end

954
00:56:20,800 --> 00:56:25,000
Speaker 1: I was like one two people left watching it. I

955
00:56:25,239 --> 00:56:31,080
Speaker 1: don't remember. I don't think I was like, I wasn't

956
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:34,480
Speaker 1: into it, but it was just fascinating to me that

957
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:39,319
Speaker 1: these people like clearly enjoyed showing that off to us.

958
00:56:39,440 --> 00:56:41,680
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that would be that if I was the

959
00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:44,800
Speaker 1: person showing people this this porn, like that would be

960
00:56:45,080 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 1: hot to me. I would love for someone to like

961
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,799
Speaker 1: the idea of people consuming porn about me. Yeah, that's

962
00:56:50,800 --> 00:56:55,279
Speaker 1: really hot, Like I avoid easy sex. Wow, I think.

963
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:57,799
Speaker 1: But that's why it's the kind of I just don't

964
00:56:57,920 --> 00:56:59,600
Speaker 1: understand how they got there where there they were, like,

965
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:02,520
Speaker 1: let's ask these neighbors who we don't know if they

966
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:05,120
Speaker 1: want to watch. They probably baited us by leaving that

967
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:08,800
Speaker 1: camera out. They wanted us to know. They wanted you

968
00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:12,520
Speaker 1: to know they were freaks. They were. I mean, but

969
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:16,440
Speaker 1: no judgment, right, no judgment. We're not king shame. But

970
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 1: you are also do kink shame a little bit. The

971
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:25,000
Speaker 1: thing for me is, like, again, I am not super kinky,

972
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:28,959
Speaker 1: and I find a lot of kink to be kind

973
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:35,200
Speaker 1: of embarrassing just because for me personally, just because the

974
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:39,520
Speaker 1: amount of set up in negotiation and like props and stuff.

975
00:57:40,000 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 1: I don't have time for all of that. I think that, yeah,

976
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:46,600
Speaker 1: that there is some part of that sometimes when you're

977
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:49,120
Speaker 1: doing when you're in the moment and you're like trying

978
00:57:49,200 --> 00:57:51,400
Speaker 1: to like be kinky or whatever. I consider myself like

979
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:54,520
Speaker 1: lightly kinky. It does feel kind of silly. I can't

980
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:57,080
Speaker 1: do role play really, I can never commit to a bit.

981
00:57:57,280 --> 00:57:59,560
Speaker 1: I don't want to inhabit a character. I've done some

982
00:57:59,720 --> 00:58:01,400
Speaker 1: role well, you know, I was a b F a

983
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:05,200
Speaker 1: acting major. The pain role play I used to do

984
00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 1: was in chat rooms. So that okay, that I can

985
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 1: do roleplay over text. Yeah, so that website I was

986
00:58:11,960 --> 00:58:16,760
Speaker 1: mentioning before litt erotica had a chat site and I

987
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:18,840
Speaker 1: used to go into there and I would pretend to

988
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,600
Speaker 1: be a teenage girl. Oh, I do have a question

989
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 1: for you. Have you ever watched straight porn? Um? No?

990
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:31,440
Speaker 1: Not I I really I've never Okay, actually, no, that

991
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:35,240
Speaker 1: I have watched um, and then porn of Lorena Bob.

992
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:38,120
Speaker 1: It's like ex husband, the guy that got chopped off.

993
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:41,800
Speaker 1: I watched like most of that porn. Did you find

994
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 1: it arouse? No, not at all. I was watching her

995
00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 1: research purposes. It was actually like the least sexy thing

996
00:58:46,160 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 1: I've ever seen. But like, no, to answer your question, no,

997
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:52,400
Speaker 1: not really, but but you do occasionally. I do watch

998
00:58:52,480 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 1: straight porn. I mean I did when it was all

999
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:58,400
Speaker 1: that was available to me, obviously as a teenager. Um,

1000
00:58:58,800 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 1: and then like whitched, you know, primarily to gay porn

1001
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:07,680
Speaker 1: and like post transition. Yes, I do watch straight porn sometimes,

1002
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 1: but like the thing about poor and post transition is

1003
00:59:10,520 --> 00:59:13,600
Speaker 1: like gay porn makes me feel depressed about the fact

1004
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 1: that I'm not having gay sex anymore. Straight porn makes

1005
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:23,000
Speaker 1: me dysphoric, and trans porn just makes me sad and crazy.

1006
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 1: It makes you feel crazy. Yeah, So like that is

1007
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:29,480
Speaker 1: part of the reason why I don't watch poor, or

1008
00:59:29,640 --> 00:59:32,360
Speaker 1: why I don't masturbate to porn as much, is because

1009
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:35,840
Speaker 1: all of it is a little loaded in these different ways,

1010
00:59:35,920 --> 00:59:39,520
Speaker 1: and the straight porn is really its own thing. Yeah,

1011
00:59:39,720 --> 00:59:42,680
Speaker 1: I agree with that, as is gay porn. Transport also

1012
00:59:42,920 --> 00:59:45,520
Speaker 1: is like mostly not made for trans people, you know

1013
00:59:45,600 --> 00:59:48,880
Speaker 1: what I mean? But I love, um, I watch a

1014
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 1: lot of poor little trans men. Oh yeah, I didn't

1015
00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 1: even I was thinking of trans I was only thinking

1016
00:59:54,600 --> 00:59:56,560
Speaker 1: of trans woman when I said that. Actually, but I'm

1017
00:59:56,640 --> 01:00:00,280
Speaker 1: kind of newly into watching transmask porn. Do you watch

1018
01:00:00,360 --> 01:00:03,960
Speaker 1: any um like weird porn, like tentacle porn, or like

1019
01:00:04,160 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 1: monster porn or animated porn. I watched an animated porn recently.

1020
01:00:08,720 --> 01:00:11,880
Speaker 1: That's like of mons. No, it's of monsters. Fucking I

1021
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,120
Speaker 1: have to show you. I've seen a lot of porn. No,

1022
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:16,960
Speaker 1: this is like I think these are actually the monsters

1023
01:00:17,000 --> 01:00:22,160
Speaker 1: from Silent Hill, fucking not Silent Hill, and like they're grotesque,

1024
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:27,520
Speaker 1: and I love monster porn. I um, don't love monster porn.

1025
01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:30,800
Speaker 1: It's just for the virgins. These are two open brains

1026
01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:33,760
Speaker 1: like muscly like they look like kind of like exoskeleton

1027
01:00:33,920 --> 01:00:37,440
Speaker 1: muscular chure. Yes, and then just like skulls and talents

1028
01:00:37,520 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 1: and one of them and one of them is using

1029
01:00:39,320 --> 01:00:42,000
Speaker 1: like a ten foot long tongue to eat the other's ass.

1030
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 1: Oh I didn't even realize that was what was happening.

1031
01:00:45,160 --> 01:00:49,280
Speaker 1: So okay, I love love love animated porn. I love

1032
01:00:49,440 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 1: like Mr x tune or whatever the funk that guy is.

1033
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:54,240
Speaker 1: I don't I should subscribe to his patreon, honestly, because

1034
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 1: we should be supporting porn like with our dollars, like

1035
01:00:56,240 --> 01:00:59,520
Speaker 1: porn creators with our dollars. But I also like every

1036
01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:02,360
Speaker 1: time aim that, like we get that like five second

1037
01:01:02,400 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 1: ad for like the porn game that will make you

1038
01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:07,000
Speaker 1: come in thirty seconds, you know what it's like, This

1039
01:01:07,400 --> 01:01:10,280
Speaker 1: is like trying we bet that you will come in

1040
01:01:10,480 --> 01:01:13,200
Speaker 1: thirty seconds watching this porn game. And it's like two

1041
01:01:13,240 --> 01:01:16,560
Speaker 1: of the most like bulbous, like they look like literally

1042
01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:20,360
Speaker 1: like slick filled to the brim with liquid and covered

1043
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:24,640
Speaker 1: in oil, and they're kind of like to me humanoid,

1044
01:01:25,320 --> 01:01:26,920
Speaker 1: and that to me is kind of weird and that

1045
01:01:27,240 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 1: and that thing really turns me on. But I've never

1046
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:31,600
Speaker 1: actually tried the porn game. Have you watched? Have you

1047
01:01:31,680 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 1: seen the porn of Tarzan? And my low? I did

1048
01:01:39,520 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 1: more than made I unfortunately, Yeah, like I know, I

1049
01:01:43,000 --> 01:01:45,000
Speaker 1: also jerked off to it. I I don't not all

1050
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:48,440
Speaker 1: the time, but it's definitely been multiple times and it's

1051
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:51,320
Speaker 1: an excellent Okay, actually no, no, let's pick it apart.

1052
01:01:51,400 --> 01:01:54,360
Speaker 1: The sounds effects my God. The sound effects are good,

1053
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:57,439
Speaker 1: the sounds of the fucking, so I have the sound

1054
01:01:57,440 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 1: of the great I have a theory though about the

1055
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:03,480
Speaker 1: dial because sometimes the dialogue and these porns based on

1056
01:02:03,760 --> 01:02:09,320
Speaker 1: intellectual property, like like copyrand intellectual property. Sometimes the things

1057
01:02:09,360 --> 01:02:11,760
Speaker 1: that they're saying to each other are like very random,

1058
01:02:11,920 --> 01:02:13,760
Speaker 1: like like he'll get fucked in the ass, and like

1059
01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 1: Mila will go or something like you know what I mean,

1060
01:02:16,920 --> 01:02:20,439
Speaker 1: Like they probably use like a sound from a video game. Yes, yeah,

1061
01:02:21,240 --> 01:02:24,800
Speaker 1: they're using video games or like I watched I've I've

1062
01:02:24,840 --> 01:02:27,800
Speaker 1: watched this port a couple of times recently. It's animated

1063
01:02:27,920 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 1: porn of like a humanoid lab being fucked by a

1064
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:38,240
Speaker 1: like humanoid maybe great Dane. And it's the sound like

1065
01:02:38,440 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 1: the sounds are definitely coming from a video game or something.

1066
01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 1: Great Danes are hot. Great Danes are hot. Tony the

1067
01:02:44,240 --> 01:02:48,000
Speaker 1: Tiger is hot. I would let Tony the Tiger do

1068
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:52,040
Speaker 1: anything he wants. Older Simba after he stops being a teenager. Yes,

1069
01:02:52,680 --> 01:02:58,960
Speaker 1: who else is always in porn? Like like cartoon characters, Hercules, Hercules, Dad,

1070
01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:01,160
Speaker 1: if you want to talk about incess porn. You and

1071
01:03:01,240 --> 01:03:05,880
Speaker 1: I texted each other a lot of but it was

1072
01:03:05,960 --> 01:03:08,480
Speaker 1: during the Hercules episode everybody was for work. You know

1073
01:03:08,560 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 1: what I love is trans Disney princess porn. I didn't know.

1074
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:15,760
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's like she male Disney princesses where they

1075
01:03:15,880 --> 01:03:18,160
Speaker 1: look the same but they just have huge cost Oh

1076
01:03:18,280 --> 01:03:21,000
Speaker 1: my god, I would be very into that. Actually, I'm

1077
01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:23,680
Speaker 1: not into it like sexually, but I think it's funny.

1078
01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:32,160
Speaker 1: Some porn is just funny. Some porn is just objectively funny.

1079
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:35,160
Speaker 1: But wait, wait, wait, what porn is funny and gets

1080
01:03:35,200 --> 01:03:37,840
Speaker 1: you off? I guess like that. The Tarzan one is

1081
01:03:37,920 --> 01:03:41,600
Speaker 1: kind of that, yeah, animated stuff. That's the July porn

1082
01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:43,280
Speaker 1: where they hit hit the ping pongs with their day.

1083
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:46,800
Speaker 1: You know, it did get me there. I have watched

1084
01:03:47,040 --> 01:03:51,880
Speaker 1: some you know, um like Marvel parody. There's a Captain

1085
01:03:51,920 --> 01:03:55,200
Speaker 1: America Fox the Winter Soldier porn that's like men dot

1086
01:03:55,240 --> 01:03:58,360
Speaker 1: com or something, and it's like, I don't even think

1087
01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:01,360
Speaker 1: I jerked off, Like it was just silly. Yeah. At

1088
01:04:01,360 --> 01:04:02,760
Speaker 1: a certain way, you have to look at yourself and

1089
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:05,520
Speaker 1: you're like, what is my life? Where am I? Well?

1090
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:08,680
Speaker 1: I you know, I don't um get off to fan

1091
01:04:08,800 --> 01:04:11,760
Speaker 1: fiction anymore, even though I still read fan fiction. Sometimes

1092
01:04:11,840 --> 01:04:14,760
Speaker 1: they do think it's like very find it very scintillating. Yeah,

1093
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:17,560
Speaker 1: I'm definitely reaching a purity in my life where I

1094
01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:20,760
Speaker 1: feel like I'm getting horny from fewer and fewer things,

1095
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:26,000
Speaker 1: or that the things I think that, Yeah, that is

1096
01:04:26,120 --> 01:04:29,600
Speaker 1: kind of depression. Babe, Um, does danger make you horny?

1097
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:34,360
Speaker 1: Do you like like auto erotic asphyxiation or any kind

1098
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:36,880
Speaker 1: of arotic Do you like being choked? I love, love,

1099
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:39,680
Speaker 1: love being choked and choking and porn. And I do

1100
01:04:39,880 --> 01:04:41,560
Speaker 1: love when like a guy will like, you know, put

1101
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:44,280
Speaker 1: put his foot on your neck or whatever, like while

1102
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:47,040
Speaker 1: he's like fucking things like that. Like that was one

1103
01:04:47,080 --> 01:04:50,800
Speaker 1: of one of ties early porns, very iconic image of

1104
01:04:51,040 --> 01:04:54,240
Speaker 1: him having his face stepped on. While I love that.

1105
01:04:54,360 --> 01:04:56,200
Speaker 1: I used to it used to be his um like

1106
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,560
Speaker 1: profile photo of my phone for a really long time. No,

1107
01:04:59,000 --> 01:05:04,160
Speaker 1: not that. Oh, we love tie At, one of the

1108
01:05:04,280 --> 01:05:07,080
Speaker 1: best out there. Yeah, he's so good. I'm trying to

1109
01:05:07,160 --> 01:05:09,200
Speaker 1: think of I love Sharrock. I'm trying to think of

1110
01:05:09,240 --> 01:05:11,880
Speaker 1: my favorite porn. No. I love seeing Tie in ads

1111
01:05:12,120 --> 01:05:14,840
Speaker 1: on like porn Hub when I'm scrolling looking for things. Wait,

1112
01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:18,080
Speaker 1: let's also talk about the search for the right porn,

1113
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:22,760
Speaker 1: because baby, the way, it could take me forty five

1114
01:05:22,920 --> 01:05:25,400
Speaker 1: minutes to find the exact right thing that will get

1115
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:29,640
Speaker 1: me to come in under two minutes. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah,

1116
01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:33,360
Speaker 1: But why is that? Because, like you, I primarily start

1117
01:05:33,440 --> 01:05:36,120
Speaker 1: searching on Twitter, like I just kind of go through

1118
01:05:36,320 --> 01:05:38,200
Speaker 1: and I tried to latch onto something where I was

1119
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:39,840
Speaker 1: like that's what it's going to be, and then I

1120
01:05:39,920 --> 01:05:42,600
Speaker 1: try to find the longer video or whatever, like how

1121
01:05:42,680 --> 01:05:46,520
Speaker 1: do you like how similarly you know, I will like

1122
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:49,200
Speaker 1: start with a sort of like general search and then

1123
01:05:49,360 --> 01:05:51,480
Speaker 1: find something that I'm into and then look at the

1124
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:54,800
Speaker 1: related videos for that because I'm I'm actually it's the

1125
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:58,720
Speaker 1: algorithm that's finding me the thing that's actually gonna work.

1126
01:05:59,000 --> 01:06:03,000
Speaker 1: Because sometimes for me it's like one science. I love science,

1127
01:06:03,080 --> 01:06:05,880
Speaker 1: I love algorithms. I love being data minded. We have

1128
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:10,520
Speaker 1: the technology. Because we have the technology, we love to

1129
01:06:10,600 --> 01:06:14,240
Speaker 1: be surveiled. Um I Yeah. Sometimes it's like as simple

1130
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:16,040
Speaker 1: as like a porn actor or whatever. It's like, oh,

1131
01:06:16,200 --> 01:06:17,680
Speaker 1: I've never seen you before, and like I want to

1132
01:06:17,720 --> 01:06:19,920
Speaker 1: find something with whatever. And other times it's like I

1133
01:06:20,000 --> 01:06:22,520
Speaker 1: actually want to see like this position, or like I

1134
01:06:22,640 --> 01:06:26,400
Speaker 1: actually want it to be like Jackhammer sex, or like

1135
01:06:26,920 --> 01:06:28,440
Speaker 1: I needed to be in a shower, I need to

1136
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:30,480
Speaker 1: see your ass from the side. Or what about when

1137
01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:33,120
Speaker 1: you want a specific porn and you can't find it,

1138
01:06:33,720 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 1: you know you're not going to be able to come

1139
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:39,440
Speaker 1: until you find it. Yes, It's like it actually becomes

1140
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:41,840
Speaker 1: like a stupid mind game at this point because you

1141
01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:44,400
Speaker 1: very well could just calm, you could just come, But

1142
01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:47,560
Speaker 1: it's gonna be so much more satisfying if you find

1143
01:06:47,800 --> 01:06:50,560
Speaker 1: that specific thing that you're looking for. And sometimes I

1144
01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:53,080
Speaker 1: really feel like I'm not going to be able to

1145
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:57,120
Speaker 1: come unless I see that thing that is what I'm

1146
01:06:57,160 --> 01:07:00,280
Speaker 1: hot for. It is I think like from a sexual

1147
01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:04,160
Speaker 1: health perspective, it's healthier to like edge right, Like it's

1148
01:07:04,440 --> 01:07:07,600
Speaker 1: it's better to prolong the process than to like have

1149
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:11,520
Speaker 1: Lovian le training your body to come in two minutes um,

1150
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:13,720
Speaker 1: which is why a lot of people come in two minutes.

1151
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:15,560
Speaker 1: But I feel like, I think the thing about like

1152
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:20,960
Speaker 1: gay porn in general is that just like because like

1153
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:26,920
Speaker 1: men make gay porn, it's very difficult to find porn

1154
01:07:27,080 --> 01:07:31,200
Speaker 1: that that feels like it's actually for either of us,

1155
01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:33,240
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like I feel like a

1156
01:07:33,320 --> 01:07:35,480
Speaker 1: lot of times like I'm even if I'm turned on

1157
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:37,920
Speaker 1: by things or like the whatever is going on, it's

1158
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:39,640
Speaker 1: like really hotter. I'm not going to get like get

1159
01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:42,240
Speaker 1: to completion for like whatever. A lot of times I'm

1160
01:07:42,240 --> 01:07:45,080
Speaker 1: just like like this is like why can't someone just

1161
01:07:45,320 --> 01:07:48,440
Speaker 1: make something that feels good after I come? You know

1162
01:07:48,480 --> 01:07:52,120
Speaker 1: what I mean? Kind of even I'm just not even

1163
01:07:52,240 --> 01:07:57,840
Speaker 1: expecting what what you want? Like a non binary porn

1164
01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:01,120
Speaker 1: kind of but like not no, like I I really

1165
01:08:01,280 --> 01:08:04,320
Speaker 1: they're obviously they're like non binaries like like only fans

1166
01:08:04,400 --> 01:08:06,880
Speaker 1: or whatever they've subscribed to. But like it's just it's

1167
01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:10,040
Speaker 1: not the lens. The lens is still gay mail porn,

1168
01:08:10,680 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Well, the lets I'm well,

1169
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:16,519
Speaker 1: you know, the lens, and I think probably the entire

1170
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:20,560
Speaker 1: industry is just centered around men men exactly, and it

1171
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:23,639
Speaker 1: doesn't matter if it's the male point of view. Yes,

1172
01:08:23,840 --> 01:08:27,040
Speaker 1: and obviously there are there's like arthouse porn and like

1173
01:08:27,080 --> 01:08:29,080
Speaker 1: independent porn that like U is trying to like you know,

1174
01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:31,960
Speaker 1: fix some of these things, but like literally like like

1175
01:08:32,479 --> 01:08:35,600
Speaker 1: whether it's straight porn or like trans girl porn or

1176
01:08:35,680 --> 01:08:38,439
Speaker 1: like gay or lesbian porn, like a lot of times

1177
01:08:39,000 --> 01:08:41,800
Speaker 1: that porn still has the male gaze on it, you

1178
01:08:41,880 --> 01:08:44,080
Speaker 1: know what I mean and sometimes the male g a

1179
01:08:44,280 --> 01:08:48,120
Speaker 1: y s. Yeah exactly exactly, But I don't know. I

1180
01:08:48,160 --> 01:08:52,840
Speaker 1: would love to produce like radical, radically different porn. I

1181
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:55,280
Speaker 1: think that would be so fun or like in erotica,

1182
01:08:55,400 --> 01:08:59,640
Speaker 1: Like I I'd love erotica. Didn't you write erotica? I

1183
01:08:59,720 --> 01:09:04,120
Speaker 1: did right in erotica for you porn and then they

1184
01:09:04,240 --> 01:09:06,960
Speaker 1: like a ghost in me. But I still got paid,

1185
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:09,320
Speaker 1: which is great, and now it's gonna be published in

1186
01:09:09,360 --> 01:09:10,920
Speaker 1: like a coffee table book of hellme Ester. But I

1187
01:09:11,840 --> 01:09:15,320
Speaker 1: meaning erotica is great. We should bring erotica back. Writing

1188
01:09:15,479 --> 01:09:19,120
Speaker 1: sex scenes is really hard. Oh really? Yeah, Well I

1189
01:09:19,240 --> 01:09:23,519
Speaker 1: just I've I've written to from my novel now, and

1190
01:09:24,200 --> 01:09:28,280
Speaker 1: I like it's so I know what I think is sexy,

1191
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:32,479
Speaker 1: and like I also know what I like what's going

1192
01:09:32,680 --> 01:09:34,880
Speaker 1: too far, and like you know, I still I like

1193
01:09:35,000 --> 01:09:38,480
Speaker 1: want it to be kind of like vague and like artful,

1194
01:09:38,760 --> 01:09:41,879
Speaker 1: but like still sexy. And that's such a hard balance

1195
01:09:42,240 --> 01:09:47,640
Speaker 1: to strike. Yeah, it really is, because like eroticism is

1196
01:09:47,880 --> 01:09:51,000
Speaker 1: usually in what you don't show or what you don't say,

1197
01:09:51,280 --> 01:09:54,840
Speaker 1: and so which is why erotica like a lot of

1198
01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:56,559
Speaker 1: times just goes all the way. And so when you're

1199
01:09:56,600 --> 01:10:00,639
Speaker 1: trying to write something that um Garth Greenwell, amazing writer

1200
01:10:00,800 --> 01:10:04,320
Speaker 1: has a lot of like thoughtful kind of teachings and

1201
01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:08,280
Speaker 1: writings about erotica specifically, and the balance we strike between

1202
01:10:08,439 --> 01:10:12,519
Speaker 1: something that is like garish to something that is beautiful. Um,

1203
01:10:12,920 --> 01:10:15,360
Speaker 1: but like both are good. You know, like you could

1204
01:10:15,360 --> 01:10:18,439
Speaker 1: totally write something that is a little porny and still

1205
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:24,160
Speaker 1: make it funny, memorable. Um, real right, like the realness,

1206
01:10:24,360 --> 01:10:27,760
Speaker 1: the realness. Yeah, because that's what I wanted. My porn

1207
01:10:28,080 --> 01:10:31,519
Speaker 1: is reality more than anything. And also what I want

1208
01:10:31,600 --> 01:10:35,120
Speaker 1: my porn is RuPaul. No, oh my god, would you

1209
01:10:35,200 --> 01:10:40,280
Speaker 1: watch RuPaul get fucked? No? If if like RuPaul's knew

1210
01:10:40,280 --> 01:10:43,400
Speaker 1: it's got leaked? No, no, no, no, I would not

1211
01:10:43,479 --> 01:10:46,920
Speaker 1: want to be scarred for life? Would you you would? Yeah?

1212
01:10:46,920 --> 01:11:00,240
Speaker 1: I think he's so hot with not. Next week we

1213
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:04,920
Speaker 1: will be taking a journey into the wardrobe as we

1214
01:11:05,080 --> 01:11:13,280
Speaker 1: discuss Nan Yeah, Tilda Swinton, Tilda Swinton, Mr Tubness Paine.

1215
01:11:15,320 --> 01:11:19,200
Speaker 1: But yeah, stay tuned for that slide into our d

1216
01:11:19,360 --> 01:11:21,680
Speaker 1: M s at like a virgin nine and tell us

1217
01:11:21,720 --> 01:11:27,280
Speaker 1: what nasty, kinky porn you're into or I mean maybe not,

1218
01:11:27,640 --> 01:11:29,720
Speaker 1: but that could cross the mountain dream I mean, yeah,

1219
01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:31,599
Speaker 1: just can say if you want, you can know, don't, don't,

1220
01:11:31,640 --> 01:11:33,160
Speaker 1: don't Actually I don't want to know. Tell us what

1221
01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:37,080
Speaker 1: makes you horny? But like in a chill, I don't know. Like,

1222
01:11:37,240 --> 01:11:43,920
Speaker 1: let's not get to Paris. So unless unless, unless you're

1223
01:11:45,400 --> 01:11:50,120
Speaker 1: unless we are just a couple of shy girls. Um okay, Yeah,

1224
01:11:50,240 --> 01:11:52,200
Speaker 1: the d m s are always You can always give

1225
01:11:52,240 --> 01:11:54,360
Speaker 1: it a shot. You can, Yeah, you could totally give

1226
01:11:54,360 --> 01:11:56,120
Speaker 1: it a shot, but don't give it a shot into

1227
01:11:56,200 --> 01:12:03,639
Speaker 1: like a Virgin. Full hold, but don't slide into full hole.

1228
01:12:05,000 --> 01:12:09,400
Speaker 1: Send full hole to like a version, leave us a

1229
01:12:09,439 --> 01:12:11,840
Speaker 1: review on Apple podcast It helps us out so much,

1230
01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:14,800
Speaker 1: even if you know it's like a little spicy. Um,

1231
01:12:15,040 --> 01:12:16,840
Speaker 1: I'm your co host Rose Dammy. You can find me

1232
01:12:16,880 --> 01:12:20,040
Speaker 1: anywhere online at Rose Damn you and I'm fran Tarata.

1233
01:12:20,120 --> 01:12:22,639
Speaker 1: You can find me at France, squish co. Wherever you want.

1234
01:12:23,160 --> 01:12:25,320
Speaker 1: You can subscribe to Like a Virgin anywhere you listen

1235
01:12:25,320 --> 01:12:27,880
Speaker 1: to podcasts and leave us a rating on Spotify or

1236
01:12:27,920 --> 01:12:32,439
Speaker 1: review on Apple Podcasts. Whatever, whatever floats your boat. Like

1237
01:12:32,560 --> 01:12:34,920
Speaker 1: a Virgin is an i Heeart Radio production. Our producer

1238
01:12:35,040 --> 01:12:38,799
Speaker 1: is phoebe Under, with support from Lindsay Hoffman, Julian Weller,

1239
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:43,200
Speaker 1: Jess Crane, Chitch and Nikki tour until next week. Bye.