WEBVTT - Dear Diary 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:16.200 Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica, I'm Mila. 0:00:16.560 --> 0:00:17.439 Happy hump day. 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:19.520 Happy hump day, bitches. 0:00:19.880 --> 0:00:20.640 How are you? 0:00:20.920 --> 0:00:24.560 I'm great? Yeah, I am. Today's a good day. Because 0:00:25.239 --> 0:00:30.240 Good Mom's Bad Choices is officially trademarked in the United States. 0:00:30.320 --> 0:00:32.720 Y'all ha, y'all can't take our shie. 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:39.159 I saw ours Good Mom's Bad Choices for life. Bitches. Congratulations, congratulations. 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.480 I feel like it's official now. Yeah. 0:00:41.600 --> 0:00:44.240 I think we've been official, but now everyone else knows. 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:46.279 But the government said it's official, so no one can 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:49.960 steal it. It's official now, it's official official. That's all 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:51.400 I know. It's just no one can steal it, right, 0:00:51.440 --> 0:00:53.599 That's all that means. I think so, and we can 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:55.200 sue people as they try and use it. We could 0:00:55.200 --> 0:00:55.560 do a season. 0:00:55.600 --> 0:00:57.640 Is the fun out of you? Hey? 0:00:58.000 --> 0:00:59.200 You better take that off your page? 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:04.880 Yeah? What does that say? Good Mom's I can't wait 0:01:04.920 --> 0:01:05.600 to ceasee a bitch? 0:01:06.720 --> 0:01:07.560 Call our lawyers. 0:01:07.800 --> 0:01:10.360 Hello, I wish, I wish a bitch would try to 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:12.640 wish a bitch would tempt me to cease her. 0:01:14.760 --> 0:01:17.120 You're gonna have to pay us five dollars for using 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:18.160 that on your social media. 0:01:18.280 --> 0:01:19.560 Fuck that five thousand. 0:01:21.319 --> 0:01:22.319 I don't think that's how it works. 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:25.360 Okay, well it doesn't either way. 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:27.320 We have the power to use the attorney. 0:01:28.840 --> 0:01:30.319 How are you a laws on our side? 0:01:30.360 --> 0:01:34.160 The laws on our side because we do the business thing. 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:38.800 I'm good, I'm good, I'm great. It's you know, it's summertime. 0:01:38.959 --> 0:01:42.520 It's hot as fucking l a blood ever June. It's 0:01:42.520 --> 0:01:45.400 sledover June. I hope you guys have been sled ever 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:48.120 in your life. Away whatever it's ludovering means to you. 0:01:49.200 --> 0:01:52.920 I'm good, I'm great, good, I am doing good. I 0:01:53.000 --> 0:01:55.559 was gonna blast you right now because I know your business, 0:01:56.360 --> 0:01:58.200 bast I was just gonna say, if you wanted to 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:00.440 tell about your like weird experience over the week, but 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:02.880 my weird experience with what one of your boyfriends. 0:02:03.120 --> 0:02:04.920 First of all, okay, I no, he wasn't your boyfriend. 0:02:04.920 --> 0:02:07.240 He's never my boyfriend, let's be clear. Second of all, 0:02:07.320 --> 0:02:11.880 what do you want to blast that he's crazy? Nigga's 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:12.160 be tripping. 0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:14.320 We already knew that I was entertained by the story. 0:02:14.360 --> 0:02:17.040 I thought maybe our people would be entertained too. 0:02:17.680 --> 0:02:21.560 I mean, okay, so basically, where do I start. I 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:24.000 got all the red flags. I ignored them. 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:25.560 You didn't have sex, which. 0:02:25.360 --> 0:02:27.400 Is I did not have sex because I was, you know, 0:02:27.520 --> 0:02:30.639 last month we were abstaining from sex, and and even 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:32.200 before that, because I actually started talking to him in 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:35.720 February and we've never had sex, like from February all 0:02:35.840 --> 0:02:40.600 the way through May. And yeah, he was just I'm 0:02:40.639 --> 0:02:43.320 sure he's a nice person. He is just a needing 0:02:43.520 --> 0:02:45.040 of support. 0:02:45.880 --> 0:02:48.000 That's the nicest way I've ever heard of. Bitch say 0:02:48.080 --> 0:02:52.880 Nick is crazy he needs better help. Literally. Well, I 0:02:52.919 --> 0:02:55.600 guess I shouldn't say Nick is crazy because that's like no. 0:02:55.720 --> 0:02:57.919 I mean, so, you know, I was kind of off 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:00.399 him because he was tripping about. You know, he gets 0:03:00.400 --> 0:03:02.160 weird around his birthday. I don't know what happened on 0:03:02.160 --> 0:03:04.200 his birthday, but he doesn't really fuck. He doesn't like, 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:06.720 he's low energy on his birthday. So I was like, 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:08.400 you know, maybe i'll take you out on your birthday. 0:03:08.440 --> 0:03:10.920 He agreed, and he's like basically was like like no, 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:14.359 never mind, and I was like, okay, whatever. I kind 0:03:14.360 --> 0:03:17.000 of pushed it aside. And then anyway, fast forward to 0:03:17.440 --> 0:03:20.240 I was eating dinner by myself and he hit me 0:03:20.320 --> 0:03:22.040 and was like I'm gonna come hang out with you, 0:03:22.639 --> 0:03:24.480 come like pull up on you. And I could just 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:27.359 tell like his energy was like very chipper, and he's 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:29.560 not like a chipper type of nigga. He's like very 0:03:29.639 --> 0:03:32.240 like yeah, yeah, okay, you know. So I was like, 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:34.160 why the fuck is he so fucking chipper? And he 0:03:34.240 --> 0:03:38.520 came and was just like very combative. Like I asked 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:40.120 him like, so, how is your day and he was 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:41.840 like was fine. I was like, you know, trying to 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:44.200 be positive. What was the best part of your day? 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:47.240 And he's like, la traffic and I'm like okay. And 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:49.600 then he goes, what's the most disappointing thing happening in 0:03:49.640 --> 0:03:53.880 your life right now? And I was like, I guess what? 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:57.560 And I said nothing. Actually, I was like, of course 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:00.880 I feel disappointment, but in like in the moment, but 0:04:00.920 --> 0:04:03.280 I usually am able to release that I don't really 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:05.880 have anything disappointing in my life. Actually, my life's going 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:09.120 pretty fucking great right now. Besides you sitting across from 0:04:09.120 --> 0:04:11.760 me with your negativity, And I said, that's what I said. 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:13.560 I was just like, I don't really have any negative 0:04:13.600 --> 0:04:15.520 things in my life. Whatever it isn't for me isn't 0:04:15.520 --> 0:04:17.640 for me. And then he was like okay, black Queen, Okay, 0:04:17.720 --> 0:04:22.680 Queen Queen. I was like fuck And obviously he was 0:04:22.720 --> 0:04:26.320 being facetious and sarcastic, like he was not black queening 0:04:26.360 --> 0:04:27.599 me like Happy Bay would. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:32.440 And then the part where I really didn't like, oh, 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:34.680 the part that really pissed me off. Well, I'll beat 0:04:34.720 --> 0:04:38.159 his ass. I'll beat you, I'll find you, and I 0:04:38.160 --> 0:04:41.080 will curse you out for this one mister Oh. 0:04:41.120 --> 0:04:43.280 Then he said, you know you carry your loads so light. 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:45.159 You must have a light load. And I was like, 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:48.680 not really, I just you know, I have good days, 0:04:48.680 --> 0:04:49.960 I have bad days. And he's like, yeah, well, if 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:51.599 we put all of our problems in a box and 0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:53.599 we shook it up and you picked out one of 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:55.880 my problems like it would be very you would not 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:59.279 like that. You would run. And I was like ok okay, 0:04:59.360 --> 0:05:01.159 and I was like why would I run? He's like, 0:05:01.200 --> 0:05:03.800 you want me to rehash my traumas and I was 0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:06.760 like you brought it up, Like what the fuck is 0:05:06.800 --> 0:05:09.080 wrong with you? And then I was like okay, well, 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:10.680 I don't really know how I'm so at this point, 0:05:10.720 --> 0:05:13.000 like in the last three months I've known this person 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:15.479 it's been incredibly hard to get to know him, Like 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:17.680 he doesn't share anything with me, Like I've told you, 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:20.040 we don't really talk. We just like cuddle, Like he 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:22.120 shows up to my house, we say like four words, 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:23.960 then we cuddle, and then we fall asleep, then we 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:26.520 wake up and then that's it. But I was like, 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:30.240 you know, because he's a Gemini, and like I feel 0:05:30.279 --> 0:05:32.480 like me and Geminis have this like unspoken like it 0:05:32.600 --> 0:05:35.280 doesn't have to be said certain things at least that's 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:36.040 what that's like. 0:05:36.240 --> 0:05:38.160 The way you treat your trauma, the way that's a trauma. 0:05:38.279 --> 0:05:42.240 That's my trauma response to Geminis. I'm like, you're so mysterious, 0:05:42.279 --> 0:05:44.200 but we just don't need to say anything. I just 0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:47.800 know you already anyway. So I was just like, well, 0:05:47.800 --> 0:05:49.280 I don't really understand how I'm supposed to get to 0:05:49.279 --> 0:05:50.960 know you if you don't want to share anything with me, 0:05:51.120 --> 0:05:54.200 Like anytime I ask you anything personal, you literally just 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:56.359 don't want to share it. So what are we doing? 0:05:56.720 --> 0:06:01.080 And he was like, your thinking is so menace that 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:04.240 you can't pick up my breadcrumbs and figure it out. 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:06.760 You want me to deliver the whole loaf nigga. 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:10.239 If you think I'm gonna fucking chase your motherfucking bread 0:06:10.279 --> 0:06:14.159 crumbs through the magical forest like this is a goddamn 0:06:14.200 --> 0:06:16.679 fairy tale, you've already lost your shit. 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:19.679 Minuscule, minuscule mother. 0:06:20.320 --> 0:06:20.880 I don't like that. 0:06:21.160 --> 0:06:22.040 It was disrespectful. 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:24.320 It's very disrespectful, and it's very gaslighting. 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:27.680 Yeah, And I was like, and he was just like 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:30.760 heights like I could just in between the conversation, like 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:33.240 when we weren't talking, he was just like staring at me, 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:37.080 like smiling, and I was like staring at him smiling 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:38.680 and then like laughing because I was like, what the 0:06:38.720 --> 0:06:42.000 fuck is wrong with you? So anyway, after he said 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:44.960 that disrespectful shit, I was like, I don't like your energy, 0:06:45.120 --> 0:06:47.279 and I think you should leave now. And then he 0:06:47.440 --> 0:06:50.440 was like what and then like I saw like tears 0:06:50.440 --> 0:06:52.480 well up in his eyes. I was like, you are 0:06:52.480 --> 0:06:55.240 a fucking psycho. And then I was like I don't 0:06:55.360 --> 0:06:58.839 like your energy. You should leave now. And then he 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:02.839 dapped me and walked away. And then I immediately called 0:07:02.960 --> 0:07:05.280 my friends and I was like, am I crazy? I'm 0:07:05.279 --> 0:07:07.640 not crazy? This nig's crazy. And then I had this 0:07:07.680 --> 0:07:11.720 whole conversation on Slack because Yo, Slack community. I'm loving 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:14.320 Slack because I have all of the tribe over there 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:17.040 just like giving me advice. I'm giving them advice. But anyway, 0:07:17.080 --> 0:07:19.240 I sent them what happened and they were like, yo, 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:20.720 he's crazy. And then in the morning I get a 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:24.680 text basically saying that he was drunk and that he 0:07:24.720 --> 0:07:27.560 doesn't remember anything that was said, but that he remembers. 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:30.000 He disappointed me, and then I wrote to him. I said, 0:07:30.040 --> 0:07:32.960 I'm not disappointed. I just know where we stand. I'm cool. 0:07:33.320 --> 0:07:35.080 I hope you figure out whatever the fuck you need 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.400 to figure out peace. And then he was like, well 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:38.720 what did I say? And I was like, I'm not 0:07:38.720 --> 0:07:40.440 going to retell you what I said so that we 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:42.560 can debate whether or not it's true. And he was like, well, 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:44.440 I need it for point of reference, and I was like, 0:07:44.480 --> 0:07:47.280 point of reference. Don't fucking drink, don't invite people into 0:07:47.360 --> 0:07:49.480 your space around your birthday if you have trauma, and 0:07:49.520 --> 0:07:51.840 also maybe don't date at all until you figure out 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:56.720 your traumas. Bye, am getting on a boat then, by 0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:58.760 I'm kidding. Yeah, Then I got on a boat that 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:01.840 day with my fucking amazing tribe of people that are 0:08:01.840 --> 0:08:05.960 not negative and are positive and thought, huh. 0:08:05.520 --> 0:08:07.200 Don't need that person in my life. 0:08:07.520 --> 0:08:11.600 But more scary than anything is that before I got 0:08:11.640 --> 0:08:14.800 on this boat, my friend s Bashan came to my 0:08:14.840 --> 0:08:17.400 house because we're driving together and I hadn't been outside yet, 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:20.000 and so he opens the door and he's like, Erica, 0:08:20.120 --> 0:08:22.720 why are there flowers on your window? And I was like, 0:08:22.720 --> 0:08:25.040 what are you talking about. He's like, there's sunflowers on 0:08:25.080 --> 0:08:28.080 your window. Now rewind like a week before this conversation 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:30.880 where he was, you know, disrespectful. We went to the 0:08:30.920 --> 0:08:34.600 farmer's market and I casually said, like, I don't even 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:36.320 I didn't even know if he heard me. Apparently he did, 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:39.760 because you know, manipulators hear things because they know how to, 0:08:39.760 --> 0:08:41.560 like they pull things from like little things that you 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:44.120 say to like make you feel like you're fucking crazy. 0:08:44.320 --> 0:08:46.160 And I was just like, oh my god, I love 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:49.160 some flowers. Those are my favorite flowers. So fast forward 0:08:49.200 --> 0:08:52.960 to his spiral and then him delivering first of all, 0:08:53.480 --> 0:08:56.199 cheap assed sunflowers on my car. But I saw the 0:08:56.240 --> 0:08:58.080 sunflowers on my car and then I knew for sure, 0:08:58.160 --> 0:09:01.640 like you're absolutely crazy, and also this manipulation might work 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:03.840 with certain women, and maybe it would have worked with me, 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:07.080 like the four or five years ago, because there was 0:09:07.120 --> 0:09:09.720 something like when I saw the flowers, I was like oh, 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:12.880 And I was like what, No, No, what the fuck? Hell? No? 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:14.960 First of all, when did you come a. 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:17.680 Little crazy the first when you told me the story? 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:19.319 The first thing I thought, it's like, Oh, he's used 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:22.440 to fucking with like dumb ass bitches. No, for sure, 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:24.400 Like I know there's bitches are like, oh my god, 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:26.360 why are you being mean to me? Like why are 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:29.240 you treating me this way? What's wrong with you? Like no, 0:09:29.640 --> 0:09:32.040 uh uh nope. 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:34.600 Yeah, so mm hmm. That's done. But what was the 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:37.600 point of Vie airing out this thing? Oh? Nothing to 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:38.840 confirm that men are crazy. 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:42.880 I I just wanted to say men still be acting crazy, 0:09:42.920 --> 0:09:45.520 and be careful. Be careful out there, ladies. They will 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:47.160 trick you, and they will try you, and they will 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:48.920 confuse the shit out of you. But we're here to 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:50.640 tell you it's not you, it's them. 0:09:51.080 --> 0:09:53.240 You know what. It felt really good, And I've done 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:55.080 this a few times over the last few years to 0:09:55.559 --> 0:09:58.319 just really flex my boundaries. It's my new favorite flex 0:09:58.440 --> 0:10:01.000 is like flexing my boundaries and the follow through, because 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:03.520 the follow through is most important, and I'm following through. 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:06.880 But when I told him you should go, I was like, 0:10:08.000 --> 0:10:08.640 I'm that bitch. 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:10.600 And also, I want to be clear, I'm not saying 0:10:10.600 --> 0:10:12.520 only niggas be crazy, because I know these bitches be 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:15.880 absolutely crazy too. So same goes for men. If you 0:10:16.040 --> 0:10:17.679 are dealing with some crazy bitches and they show you 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:21.400 the signs that they're the fuck crazy, exit stage left immediately. 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:24.480 Because also, Gemini matter are absolutely crazy. It's confirmed for 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:27.160 me now, I know for sure that I will never ever, ever, ever, 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:31.160 ever ever date a Gemini man. They are unstable humans 0:10:31.320 --> 0:10:35.240 unless they've had extensive therapy. I'm good. 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:39.280 I'm half Gemini woman, but I'm not. I don't have 0:10:39.320 --> 0:10:47.839 any issues. I am perfectly perfect and healed. Anyway, I'm 0:10:47.880 --> 0:10:51.320 happy that I've just exposed me. I've persuaded you to 0:10:51.400 --> 0:10:54.400 tell your business. You want to pick a card for 0:10:54.440 --> 0:10:55.040 the tarots. 0:10:55.240 --> 0:11:03.079 Sure, let's pick a card. Okay, today's card is the 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:04.439 page of swords. 0:11:06.040 --> 0:11:13.040 Tell us what the page of swords means? This Pagemilamia, okay, 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:19.880 the Lucky the page of Swords. New ideas, curiosity, thirst 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:24.880 for knowledge, new ways of communicating, flexing your boundaries, flexing 0:11:24.920 --> 0:11:30.000 your mother fucking boundaries. Okay, the page of Swords is 0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:33.080 full of energy, passion, and enthusiasm. When this card shows 0:11:33.120 --> 0:11:35.240 up in a tarot reading, you are bursting with new 0:11:35.280 --> 0:11:37.959 ideas and plans for the future. You may be excited 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:40.599 about starting a new project, pursuing a new approach, or 0:11:40.640 --> 0:11:42.520 learning something new. I feel like we've got this recently. 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:45.520 I think we did too. Should you pick another one? Alright? 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:46.719 It comes up. 0:11:47.480 --> 0:11:49.240 We have a lot of ideas, so that would make 0:11:49.240 --> 0:11:52.480 perfect sense. The challenge, however, is whether you can keep 0:11:52.559 --> 0:11:56.200 it up. As with all pages, the beginning always looks promising, 0:11:56.280 --> 0:11:58.280 but you need something else to follow through and. 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:01.040 Keep up The pace feels accurate. 0:12:01.200 --> 0:12:03.640 Yeah, you are very eager to execute an idea that 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:07.079 you have been having or someone else shared with you. You're 0:12:06.679 --> 0:12:09.280 quite passionate about it and you cannot wait to share 0:12:09.280 --> 0:12:11.920 the progress to others. It is time to be talkative, 0:12:12.080 --> 0:12:15.920 open up and talk about these ideas constructively. Hmmm cool, 0:12:16.360 --> 0:12:20.360 it's a birthing, birthing of ideas and partnerships. 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:23.400 Sounds like what we do every week, story of our lives. 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:31.960 What is today's affirmation? M Spirit? What will you deliver 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:38.920 through me today? I feel like today's affirmation is don't 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:42.360 be afraid to flex your mother fucking boundaries. 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:49.000 Don't be afraid to flex your mother fucking boundaries. I 0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:53.280 am flexing my mother fucking boundaries. I am flexing my 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:55.480 mother fucking boundaries. 0:12:55.920 --> 0:12:59.360 And I just want to say again that boundaries only 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:02.880 work you have followed through. Guys, like, don't talk that 0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.800 shit and then don't be about that shit, like do 0:13:05.960 --> 0:13:08.439 it follow through. That's the hardest part. It's really easy 0:13:08.440 --> 0:13:11.000 to talk shit. It's really easy for me to say 0:13:11.360 --> 0:13:13.199 I'll never speak to this person again. And I'm not 0:13:13.240 --> 0:13:15.240 even saying I may never speak to this person again, 0:13:15.280 --> 0:13:17.640 like I may encounter him and I actually wish him 0:13:17.679 --> 0:13:19.760 a lot of love because I see a lot of 0:13:19.840 --> 0:13:23.160 light in him. But there's it's cloaked and darkness. And 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:25.360 that's what I think I was like anytime I would 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:27.400 see him, like show me some light, I'd be like, 0:13:27.400 --> 0:13:27.920 oh my god. 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:28.199 There it is. 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:31.200 But you got to follow through. The follow through is everything. 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.160 So don't be afraid to flex those motherfucking boundaries and 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:34.800 follow through. 0:13:36.160 --> 0:13:39.079 People respect the boundaries they have no choice to. People 0:13:39.080 --> 0:13:40.760 do not respect where they keep fucking with you. I'm 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:42.240 fucking with you, and they just say, know they can, 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:43.839 They just like throw you around like a back dog, 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:45.760 like she'll be back, She'll be back, exactly. I've done 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:49.120 that shit for many years. Erica is a firm boundary holder. 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:51.679 I have not been, but I haven't always been either. 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.160 I mean, I have not always been. And you know, 0:13:54.240 --> 0:13:56.679 today we are going to go down memory lane a 0:13:56.760 --> 0:13:57.480 little bit. Today. 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:01.280 Me and Mila, you know, have been reflecting a lot on, 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:03.679 you know, our history with sex. You know, at the 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:07.640 beginning of this month, we shared our virginity stories and 0:14:08.200 --> 0:14:11.240 just how we got to where we are now and 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:13.720 the journey, and so I've been reading my old JOT 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:17.480 diaries and my follow through game was pretty weak. 0:14:18.320 --> 0:14:21.120 You know, it's even more interesting than revisiting our diaries. 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:22.840 First of all, it's even more interesting because we're sitting 0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:27.360 here with our producer and apparently every teenager didn't fucking 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:29.720 journal their life away, but apparently Erica and I did 0:14:29.920 --> 0:14:35.680 very early. But it's pretty interesting reading like revisiting our 0:14:35.800 --> 0:14:40.560 teenage and even fucking seven year old selves. And then 0:14:40.640 --> 0:14:45.000 also we're reading The Ethical Slut together right now, so 0:14:45.240 --> 0:14:48.280 it really does dice. It's caused me to dissect the 0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:52.240 things we've been taught our natural behaviors, even as children, 0:14:52.360 --> 0:14:56.320 Like even as children, like the natural like lustiness and 0:14:56.400 --> 0:14:58.920 the attraction and the things that we have as natural 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:01.880 human beings, you know, and like obviously we're conditioned to 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:05.240 certain certain ways as women and as boys, et cetera. 0:15:05.400 --> 0:15:08.400 But like reading The Ethical Slut and really dissecting the 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:11.400 reasons in which like people have the belief systems that 0:15:11.440 --> 0:15:13.320 they believe, and like a lot of times why those 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:16.720 relationships don't work out, and then coming to these our 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:21.360 sex positive selves now is really a really good insight 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:23.880 on the way we were taught and the things we 0:15:23.920 --> 0:15:28.360 believe and the things we're revisiting and reteaching ourselves for sure. 0:15:28.440 --> 0:15:30.000 I mean I was telling Meila, I was like, I 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:32.800 think that I was an ethical slut off the bat, 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:35.520 but they're an unethical slut. No, I was ethical. I 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:37.600 was trying to figure out the ethics, but everyone was 0:15:37.640 --> 0:15:39.760 like shaming me and confusing the fuck out of me. 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:44.080 But I think innately before someone told me what relationships 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:45.800 are supposed to look like, Like even I was reading 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:48.480 my seven year old notes to my about boys that 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:51.200 I liked like. There was no judgment. It was just 0:15:51.200 --> 0:15:51.800 like I like him. 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:52.240 I like him. 0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:53.920 Why can't I like him? We can like each other. 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:56.920 Let's all hang out, you know, versus like I'm in 0:15:56.960 --> 0:15:59.120 love but maybe I'm not because I also love this boy. 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:00.720 But maybe I don't love him because I can't love 0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:02.280 two people. It's not possible, you know. 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:04.120 It's like, I know, I just read something else like 0:16:04.160 --> 0:16:07.200 and I love him because he's all mine and nobody 0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:12.640 else's Jesus Christy little Psycho twelve year old. 0:16:13.360 --> 0:16:15.000 If you don't, if you guys have to listen to 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:18.800 our episode sledever whatever did we talk about that we're 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:21.000 going to be actually doing a book club starting in 0:16:21.080 --> 0:16:23.320 July with the Ethical Sleds. We want to encourage you 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:25.760 guys to purchase The Ethical Sled wherever you you know, 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:30.000 buy books. It is the third edition that we're reading. 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:33.240 It's a purple cover because they've added some things because 0:16:33.240 --> 0:16:35.240 it's been out for quite some time, like a decade, 0:16:35.640 --> 0:16:37.920 so they've added some pronouns and you know, like. 0:16:38.280 --> 0:16:39.920 Yeah, they're just up with the times and you know. 0:16:40.520 --> 0:16:43.000 And it's by hose By, it's by a Janet Hardy 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:45.640 and Dossy Easton, and I just want to read the 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:48.480 first page just so you guys get a little preview 0:16:48.600 --> 0:16:51.680 of what it is that we are diving into in July, 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:56.480 and really like it's really like helping me understand where 0:16:56.480 --> 0:16:59.280 I'm at in my own views and relationship and also 0:16:59.360 --> 0:17:02.000 like where I us and all the things that people 0:17:02.040 --> 0:17:07.359 tell children, kids, mothers, all of them. So Paige one 0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:11.480 who is an ethical slut. Many people dream of having 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.760 an abundance of love and sex and friendship. Some believe 0:17:14.800 --> 0:17:17.560 that such a life is impossible and settle for less 0:17:17.560 --> 0:17:20.080 than what they want, feeling always a little lonely, a 0:17:20.080 --> 0:17:23.400 little frustrated. Others try to achieve their dream but are 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:27.000 thwarted by outside social pressures or by their own emotions, 0:17:27.240 --> 0:17:29.520 and decide that such dreams must stay in the realm 0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:32.720 of fantasy. A few, though, persist and discover that being 0:17:32.840 --> 0:17:36.760 openly loving, intimate, and sexual with many people is not 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:40.080 only possible, but can be more rewarding than they ever imagined. 0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:43.480 People have been succeeding at free love for many centuries, 0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:46.920 often quietly without much fanfare. In this book, we will 0:17:46.920 --> 0:17:50.720 share the techniques, the skills, and the ideals that have 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:53.919 made it work. For them. So who is an ethical slut? 0:17:54.160 --> 0:17:57.640 We are many many others are. Maybe you are too. 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.560 If you dream of freedom, if you dream of intimacy 0:18:00.600 --> 0:18:03.800 both hot and profound, if you dream of an abundance 0:18:03.840 --> 0:18:08.159 of friends and flirtation and affection, of following your desires 0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:10.720 and seeing where they take you, then you've already taken 0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:14.239 the first step. So I'm in. 0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:17.400 Sign me up, DOSSI I'm in. 0:18:18.240 --> 0:18:20.120 But yeah, I know. As I've read this book, it's 0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:22.560 been so interesting. They go through and they talk about 0:18:22.600 --> 0:18:26.240 all the myths around sex and just like even why 0:18:26.359 --> 0:18:30.760 marriage was created, which was really just survival and like 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:33.840 meeting more people around to kind of like make sure 0:18:33.920 --> 0:18:34.760 everyone could eat. 0:18:35.200 --> 0:18:37.440 And oh and then there's a part in there they 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:40.000 touch on like some history of sex. And one of 0:18:40.040 --> 0:18:43.520 the things that they touch on is during like Nazi 0:18:43.600 --> 0:18:47.160 times during the Holocaust, they were saying how they pushed 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:50.960 for people not to have more sexual encounters and sexual 0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:55.000 experiences because they contributed that to having free thinking. The 0:18:55.000 --> 0:18:57.280 more in tune with your sexual desires you were and 0:18:57.400 --> 0:18:59.760 more likely you were to act on them, the more 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:02.480 likely you were to think freely and then go against 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:05.680 the powers that be which to me makes a lot 0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:06.080 of sense. 0:19:07.359 --> 0:19:09.080 There's this other I'm gonna read this one little part. 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:12.000 I'm read two because there's they're important. I think they're 0:19:12.000 --> 0:19:16.360 talking about just like the psyche and like what happens 0:19:16.440 --> 0:19:19.200