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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica, I'm Mila.

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Speaker 1: Happy hump day.

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Speaker 2: Happy hump day, bitches.

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Speaker 1: How are you?

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Speaker 2: I'm great? Yeah, I am. Today's a good day. Because

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Speaker 2: Good Mom's Bad Choices is officially trademarked in the United States.

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Speaker 1: Y'all ha, y'all can't take our shie.

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Speaker 2: I saw ours Good Mom's Bad Choices for life. Bitches. Congratulations, congratulations.

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Speaker 2: I feel like it's official now. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I think we've been official, but now everyone else knows.

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Speaker 2: But the government said it's official, so no one can

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Speaker 2: steal it. It's official now, it's official official. That's all

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Speaker 2: I know. It's just no one can steal it, right,

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Speaker 2: That's all that means. I think so, and we can

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Speaker 2: sue people as they try and use it. We could

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Speaker 2: do a season.

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Speaker 1: Is the fun out of you? Hey?

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Speaker 2: You better take that off your page?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? What does that say? Good Mom's I can't wait

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Speaker 1: to ceasee a bitch?

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Speaker 2: Call our lawyers.

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Speaker 1: Hello, I wish, I wish a bitch would try to

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Speaker 1: wish a bitch would tempt me to cease her.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna have to pay us five dollars for using

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Speaker 2: that on your social media.

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Speaker 1: Fuck that five thousand.

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Speaker 2: I don't think that's how it works.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well it doesn't either way.

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Speaker 2: We have the power to use the attorney.

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Speaker 1: How are you a laws on our side?

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Speaker 2: The laws on our side because we do the business thing.

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Speaker 1: I'm good, I'm good, I'm great. It's you know, it's summertime.

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Speaker 1: It's hot as fucking l a blood ever June. It's

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Speaker 1: sledover June. I hope you guys have been sled ever

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Speaker 1: in your life. Away whatever it's ludovering means to you.

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Speaker 2: I'm good, I'm great, good, I am doing good. I

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Speaker 2: was gonna blast you right now because I know your business,

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Speaker 2: bast I was just gonna say, if you wanted to

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Speaker 2: tell about your like weird experience over the week, but

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Speaker 2: my weird experience with what one of your boyfriends.

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Speaker 1: First of all, okay, I no, he wasn't your boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: He's never my boyfriend, let's be clear. Second of all,

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Speaker 1: what do you want to blast that he's crazy? Nigga's

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Speaker 1: be tripping.

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Speaker 2: We already knew that I was entertained by the story.

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Speaker 2: I thought maybe our people would be entertained too.

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Speaker 1: I mean, okay, so basically, where do I start. I

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Speaker 1: got all the red flags. I ignored them.

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Speaker 2: You didn't have sex, which.

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Speaker 1: Is I did not have sex because I was, you know,

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Speaker 1: last month we were abstaining from sex, and and even

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Speaker 1: before that, because I actually started talking to him in

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Speaker 1: February and we've never had sex, like from February all

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Speaker 1: the way through May. And yeah, he was just I'm

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Speaker 1: sure he's a nice person. He is just a needing

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Speaker 1: of support.

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Speaker 2: That's the nicest way I've ever heard of. Bitch say

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Speaker 2: Nick is crazy he needs better help. Literally. Well, I

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Speaker 2: guess I shouldn't say Nick is crazy because that's like no.

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Speaker 1: I mean, so, you know, I was kind of off

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Speaker 1: him because he was tripping about. You know, he gets

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Speaker 1: weird around his birthday. I don't know what happened on

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Speaker 1: his birthday, but he doesn't really fuck. He doesn't like,

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Speaker 1: he's low energy on his birthday. So I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe i'll take you out on your birthday.

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Speaker 1: He agreed, and he's like basically was like like no,

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Speaker 1: never mind, and I was like, okay, whatever. I kind

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Speaker 1: of pushed it aside. And then anyway, fast forward to

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Speaker 1: I was eating dinner by myself and he hit me

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Speaker 1: and was like I'm gonna come hang out with you,

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Speaker 1: come like pull up on you. And I could just

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Speaker 1: tell like his energy was like very chipper, and he's

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Speaker 1: not like a chipper type of nigga. He's like very

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Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, okay, you know. So I was like,

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Speaker 1: why the fuck is he so fucking chipper? And he

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Speaker 1: came and was just like very combative. Like I asked

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Speaker 1: him like, so, how is your day and he was

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Speaker 1: like was fine. I was like, you know, trying to

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Speaker 1: be positive. What was the best part of your day?

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Speaker 1: And he's like, la traffic and I'm like okay. And

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Speaker 1: then he goes, what's the most disappointing thing happening in

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Speaker 1: your life right now? And I was like, I guess what?

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Speaker 1: And I said nothing. Actually, I was like, of course

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Speaker 1: I feel disappointment, but in like in the moment, but

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Speaker 1: I usually am able to release that I don't really

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Speaker 1: have anything disappointing in my life. Actually, my life's going

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Speaker 1: pretty fucking great right now. Besides you sitting across from

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Speaker 1: me with your negativity, And I said, that's what I said.

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Speaker 1: I was just like, I don't really have any negative

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Speaker 1: things in my life. Whatever it isn't for me isn't

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Speaker 1: for me. And then he was like okay, black Queen, Okay,

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Speaker 1: Queen Queen. I was like fuck And obviously he was

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Speaker 1: being facetious and sarcastic, like he was not black queening

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Speaker 1: me like Happy Bay would.

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Speaker 2: And then the part where I really didn't like, oh,

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Speaker 2: the part that really pissed me off. Well, I'll beat

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Speaker 2: his ass. I'll beat you, I'll find you, and I

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Speaker 2: will curse you out for this one mister Oh.

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Speaker 1: Then he said, you know you carry your loads so light.

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Speaker 1: You must have a light load. And I was like,

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Speaker 1: not really, I just you know, I have good days,

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Speaker 1: I have bad days. And he's like, yeah, well, if

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Speaker 1: we put all of our problems in a box and

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Speaker 1: we shook it up and you picked out one of

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Speaker 1: my problems like it would be very you would not

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Speaker 1: like that. You would run. And I was like ok okay,

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Speaker 1: and I was like why would I run? He's like,

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Speaker 1: you want me to rehash my traumas and I was

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Speaker 1: like you brought it up, Like what the fuck is

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Speaker 1: wrong with you? And then I was like okay, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't really know how I'm so at this point,

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Speaker 1: like in the last three months I've known this person

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Speaker 1: it's been incredibly hard to get to know him, Like

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Speaker 1: he doesn't share anything with me, Like I've told you,

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Speaker 1: we don't really talk. We just like cuddle, Like he

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Speaker 1: shows up to my house, we say like four words,

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Speaker 1: then we cuddle, and then we fall asleep, then we

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Speaker 1: wake up and then that's it. But I was like,

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Speaker 1: you know, because he's a Gemini, and like I feel

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Speaker 1: like me and Geminis have this like unspoken like it

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Speaker 1: doesn't have to be said certain things at least that's

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Speaker 1: what that's like.

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Speaker 2: The way you treat your trauma, the way that's a trauma.

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Speaker 1: That's my trauma response to Geminis. I'm like, you're so mysterious,

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Speaker 1: but we just don't need to say anything. I just

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Speaker 1: know you already anyway. So I was just like, well,

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Speaker 1: I don't really understand how I'm supposed to get to

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Speaker 1: know you if you don't want to share anything with me,

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Speaker 1: Like anytime I ask you anything personal, you literally just

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Speaker 1: don't want to share it. So what are we doing?

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Speaker 1: And he was like, your thinking is so menace that

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Speaker 1: you can't pick up my breadcrumbs and figure it out.

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Speaker 1: You want me to deliver the whole loaf nigga.

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Speaker 2: If you think I'm gonna fucking chase your motherfucking bread

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Speaker 2: crumbs through the magical forest like this is a goddamn

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Speaker 2: fairy tale, you've already lost your shit.

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Speaker 1: Minuscule, minuscule mother.

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Speaker 2: I don't like that.

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Speaker 1: It was disrespectful.

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Speaker 2: It's very disrespectful, and it's very gaslighting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was like, and he was just like

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Speaker 1: heights like I could just in between the conversation, like

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Speaker 1: when we weren't talking, he was just like staring at me,

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Speaker 1: like smiling, and I was like staring at him smiling

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Speaker 1: and then like laughing because I was like, what the

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Speaker 1: fuck is wrong with you? So anyway, after he said

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Speaker 1: that disrespectful shit, I was like, I don't like your energy,

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Speaker 1: and I think you should leave now. And then he

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Speaker 1: was like what and then like I saw like tears

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Speaker 1: well up in his eyes. I was like, you are

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Speaker 1: a fucking psycho. And then I was like I don't

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Speaker 1: like your energy. You should leave now. And then he

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Speaker 1: dapped me and walked away. And then I immediately called

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Speaker 1: my friends and I was like, am I crazy? I'm

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Speaker 1: not crazy? This nig's crazy. And then I had this

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Speaker 1: whole conversation on Slack because Yo, Slack community. I'm loving

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Speaker 1: Slack because I have all of the tribe over there

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Speaker 1: just like giving me advice. I'm giving them advice. But anyway,

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Speaker 1: I sent them what happened and they were like, yo,

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Speaker 1: he's crazy. And then in the morning I get a

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Speaker 1: text basically saying that he was drunk and that he

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Speaker 1: doesn't remember anything that was said, but that he remembers.

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Speaker 1: He disappointed me, and then I wrote to him. I said,

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Speaker 1: I'm not disappointed. I just know where we stand. I'm cool.

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Speaker 1: I hope you figure out whatever the fuck you need

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Speaker 1: to figure out peace. And then he was like, well

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Speaker 1: what did I say? And I was like, I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to retell you what I said so that we

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Speaker 1: can debate whether or not it's true. And he was like, well,

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Speaker 1: I need it for point of reference, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: point of reference. Don't fucking drink, don't invite people into

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Speaker 1: your space around your birthday if you have trauma, and

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Speaker 1: also maybe don't date at all until you figure out

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Speaker 1: your traumas. Bye, am getting on a boat then, by

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Speaker 1: I'm kidding. Yeah, Then I got on a boat that

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Speaker 1: day with my fucking amazing tribe of people that are

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Speaker 1: not negative and are positive and thought, huh.

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Speaker 2: Don't need that person in my life.

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Speaker 1: But more scary than anything is that before I got

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Speaker 1: on this boat, my friend s Bashan came to my

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Speaker 1: house because we're driving together and I hadn't been outside yet,

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Speaker 1: and so he opens the door and he's like, Erica,

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Speaker 1: why are there flowers on your window? And I was like,

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Speaker 1: what are you talking about. He's like, there's sunflowers on

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Speaker 1: your window. Now rewind like a week before this conversation

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Speaker 1: where he was, you know, disrespectful. We went to the

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Speaker 1: farmer's market and I casually said, like, I don't even

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Speaker 1: I didn't even know if he heard me. Apparently he did,

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Speaker 1: because you know, manipulators hear things because they know how to,

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Speaker 1: like they pull things from like little things that you

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Speaker 1: say to like make you feel like you're fucking crazy.

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Speaker 1: And I was just like, oh my god, I love

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Speaker 1: some flowers. Those are my favorite flowers. So fast forward

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Speaker 1: to his spiral and then him delivering first of all,

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Speaker 1: cheap assed sunflowers on my car. But I saw the

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Speaker 1: sunflowers on my car and then I knew for sure,

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Speaker 1: like you're absolutely crazy, and also this manipulation might work

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Speaker 1: with certain women, and maybe it would have worked with me,

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Speaker 1: like the four or five years ago, because there was

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Speaker 1: something like when I saw the flowers, I was like oh,

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Speaker 1: And I was like what, No, No, what the fuck? Hell? No?

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Speaker 1: First of all, when did you come a.

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Speaker 2: Little crazy the first when you told me the story?

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Speaker 2: The first thing I thought, it's like, Oh, he's used

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Speaker 2: to fucking with like dumb ass bitches. No, for sure,

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Speaker 2: Like I know there's bitches are like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: why are you being mean to me? Like why are

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Speaker 2: you treating me this way? What's wrong with you? Like no,

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Speaker 2: uh uh nope.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so mm hmm. That's done. But what was the

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Speaker 1: point of Vie airing out this thing? Oh? Nothing to

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Speaker 1: confirm that men are crazy.

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Speaker 2: I I just wanted to say men still be acting crazy,

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Speaker 2: and be careful. Be careful out there, ladies. They will

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Speaker 2: trick you, and they will try you, and they will

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Speaker 2: confuse the shit out of you. But we're here to

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Speaker 2: tell you it's not you, it's them.

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Speaker 1: You know what. It felt really good, And I've done

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Speaker 1: this a few times over the last few years to

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Speaker 1: just really flex my boundaries. It's my new favorite flex

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Speaker 1: is like flexing my boundaries and the follow through, because

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Speaker 1: the follow through is most important, and I'm following through.

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Speaker 1: But when I told him you should go, I was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm that bitch.

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Speaker 2: And also, I want to be clear, I'm not saying

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Speaker 2: only niggas be crazy, because I know these bitches be

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Speaker 2: absolutely crazy too. So same goes for men. If you

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Speaker 2: are dealing with some crazy bitches and they show you

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Speaker 2: the signs that they're the fuck crazy, exit stage left immediately.

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Speaker 1: Because also, Gemini matter are absolutely crazy. It's confirmed for

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Speaker 1: me now, I know for sure that I will never ever, ever, ever,

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Speaker 1: ever ever date a Gemini man. They are unstable humans

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Speaker 1: unless they've had extensive therapy. I'm good.

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Speaker 2: I'm half Gemini woman, but I'm not. I don't have

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Speaker 2: any issues. I am perfectly perfect and healed. Anyway, I'm

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Speaker 2: happy that I've just exposed me. I've persuaded you to

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Speaker 2: tell your business. You want to pick a card for

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Speaker 2: the tarots.

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Speaker 1: Sure, let's pick a card. Okay, today's card is the

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Speaker 1: page of swords.

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Speaker 2: Tell us what the page of swords means? This Pagemilamia, okay,

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Speaker 2: the Lucky the page of Swords. New ideas, curiosity, thirst

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Speaker 2: for knowledge, new ways of communicating, flexing your boundaries, flexing

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Speaker 2: your mother fucking boundaries. Okay, the page of Swords is

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Speaker 2: full of energy, passion, and enthusiasm. When this card shows

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Speaker 2: up in a tarot reading, you are bursting with new

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Speaker 2: ideas and plans for the future. You may be excited

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Speaker 2: about starting a new project, pursuing a new approach, or

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Speaker 2: learning something new. I feel like we've got this recently.

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Speaker 2: I think we did too. Should you pick another one? Alright?

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Speaker 1: It comes up.

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Speaker 2: We have a lot of ideas, so that would make

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Speaker 2: perfect sense. The challenge, however, is whether you can keep

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Speaker 2: it up. As with all pages, the beginning always looks promising,

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Speaker 2: but you need something else to follow through and.

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Speaker 1: Keep up The pace feels accurate.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you are very eager to execute an idea that

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Speaker 2: you have been having or someone else shared with you. You're

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Speaker 2: quite passionate about it and you cannot wait to share

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Speaker 2: the progress to others. It is time to be talkative,

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Speaker 2: open up and talk about these ideas constructively. Hmmm cool,

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Speaker 2: it's a birthing, birthing of ideas and partnerships.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like what we do every week, story of our lives.

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Speaker 1: What is today's affirmation? M Spirit? What will you deliver

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Speaker 1: through me today? I feel like today's affirmation is don't

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Speaker 1: be afraid to flex your mother fucking boundaries.

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Speaker 2: Don't be afraid to flex your mother fucking boundaries. I

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Speaker 2: am flexing my mother fucking boundaries. I am flexing my

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Speaker 2: mother fucking boundaries.

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Speaker 1: And I just want to say again that boundaries only

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Speaker 1: work you have followed through. Guys, like, don't talk that

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Speaker 1: shit and then don't be about that shit, like do

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Speaker 1: it follow through. That's the hardest part. It's really easy

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Speaker 1: to talk shit. It's really easy for me to say

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Speaker 1: I'll never speak to this person again. And I'm not

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Speaker 1: even saying I may never speak to this person again,

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Speaker 1: like I may encounter him and I actually wish him

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Speaker 1: a lot of love because I see a lot of

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Speaker 1: light in him. But there's it's cloaked and darkness. And

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Speaker 1: that's what I think I was like anytime I would

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Speaker 1: see him, like show me some light, I'd be like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god.

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Speaker 2: There it is.

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Speaker 1: But you got to follow through. The follow through is everything.

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Speaker 1: So don't be afraid to flex those motherfucking boundaries and

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Speaker 1: follow through.

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Speaker 2: People respect the boundaries they have no choice to. People

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Speaker 2: do not respect where they keep fucking with you. I'm

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Speaker 2: fucking with you, and they just say, know they can,

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Speaker 2: They just like throw you around like a back dog,

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Speaker 2: like she'll be back, She'll be back, exactly. I've done

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Speaker 2: that shit for many years. Erica is a firm boundary holder.

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Speaker 2: I have not been, but I haven't always been either.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I have not always been. And you know,

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Speaker 2: today we are going to go down memory lane a

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Speaker 2: little bit. Today.

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Speaker 1: Me and Mila, you know, have been reflecting a lot on,

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Speaker 1: you know, our history with sex. You know, at the

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Speaker 1: beginning of this month, we shared our virginity stories and

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Speaker 1: just how we got to where we are now and

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Speaker 1: the journey, and so I've been reading my old JOT

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Speaker 1: diaries and my follow through game was pretty weak.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's even more interesting than revisiting our diaries.

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Speaker 2: First of all, it's even more interesting because we're sitting

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Speaker 2: here with our producer and apparently every teenager didn't fucking

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Speaker 2: journal their life away, but apparently Erica and I did

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Speaker 2: very early. But it's pretty interesting reading like revisiting our

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Speaker 2: teenage and even fucking seven year old selves. And then

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Speaker 2: also we're reading The Ethical Slut together right now, so

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Speaker 2: it really does dice. It's caused me to dissect the

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Speaker 2: things we've been taught our natural behaviors, even as children,

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Speaker 2: Like even as children, like the natural like lustiness and

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Speaker 2: the attraction and the things that we have as natural

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Speaker 2: human beings, you know, and like obviously we're conditioned to

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Speaker 2: certain certain ways as women and as boys, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: But like reading The Ethical Slut and really dissecting the

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Speaker 2: reasons in which like people have the belief systems that

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Speaker 2: they believe, and like a lot of times why those

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Speaker 2: relationships don't work out, and then coming to these our

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Speaker 2: sex positive selves now is really a really good insight

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Speaker 2: on the way we were taught and the things we

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Speaker 2: believe and the things we're revisiting and reteaching ourselves for sure.

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Speaker 1: I mean I was telling Meila, I was like, I

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Speaker 1: think that I was an ethical slut off the bat,

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Speaker 1: but they're an unethical slut. No, I was ethical. I

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Speaker 1: was trying to figure out the ethics, but everyone was

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Speaker 1: like shaming me and confusing the fuck out of me.

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Speaker 1: But I think innately before someone told me what relationships

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Speaker 1: are supposed to look like, Like even I was reading

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Speaker 1: my seven year old notes to my about boys that

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Speaker 1: I liked like. There was no judgment. It was just

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Speaker 1: like I like him.

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Speaker 2: I like him.

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Speaker 1: Why can't I like him? We can like each other.

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Speaker 1: Let's all hang out, you know, versus like I'm in

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Speaker 1: love but maybe I'm not because I also love this boy.

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Speaker 1: But maybe I don't love him because I can't love

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Speaker 1: two people. It's not possible, you know.

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Speaker 2: It's like, I know, I just read something else like

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Speaker 2: and I love him because he's all mine and nobody

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Speaker 2: else's Jesus Christy little Psycho twelve year old.

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Speaker 1: If you don't, if you guys have to listen to

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Speaker 1: our episode sledever whatever did we talk about that we're

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Speaker 1: going to be actually doing a book club starting in

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Speaker 1: July with the Ethical Sleds. We want to encourage you

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Speaker 1: guys to purchase The Ethical Sled wherever you you know,

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Speaker 1: buy books. It is the third edition that we're reading.

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Speaker 2: It's a purple cover because they've added some things because

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Speaker 2: it's been out for quite some time, like a decade,

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Speaker 2: so they've added some pronouns and you know, like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, they're just up with the times and you know.

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Speaker 1: And it's by hose By, it's by a Janet Hardy

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Speaker 1: and Dossy Easton, and I just want to read the

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Speaker 1: first page just so you guys get a little preview

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Speaker 1: of what it is that we are diving into in July,

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Speaker 1: and really like it's really like helping me understand where

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Speaker 1: I'm at in my own views and relationship and also

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Speaker 1: like where I us and all the things that people

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Speaker 1: tell children, kids, mothers, all of them. So Paige one

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Speaker 1: who is an ethical slut. Many people dream of having

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Speaker 1: an abundance of love and sex and friendship. Some believe

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Speaker 1: that such a life is impossible and settle for less

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Speaker 1: than what they want, feeling always a little lonely, a

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Speaker 1: little frustrated. Others try to achieve their dream but are

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Speaker 1: thwarted by outside social pressures or by their own emotions,

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Speaker 1: and decide that such dreams must stay in the realm

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Speaker 1: of fantasy. A few, though, persist and discover that being

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Speaker 1: openly loving, intimate, and sexual with many people is not

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Speaker 1: only possible, but can be more rewarding than they ever imagined.

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Speaker 1: People have been succeeding at free love for many centuries,

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Speaker 1: often quietly without much fanfare. In this book, we will

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Speaker 1: share the techniques, the skills, and the ideals that have

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Speaker 1: made it work. For them. So who is an ethical slut?

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Speaker 1: We are many many others are. Maybe you are too.

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Speaker 1: If you dream of freedom, if you dream of intimacy

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Speaker 1: both hot and profound, if you dream of an abundance

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00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:08,159
Speaker 1: of friends and flirtation and affection, of following your desires

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Speaker 1: and seeing where they take you, then you've already taken

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Speaker 1: the first step. So I'm in.

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Speaker 2: Sign me up, DOSSI I'm in.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I know. As I've read this book, it's

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Speaker 1: been so interesting. They go through and they talk about

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Speaker 1: all the myths around sex and just like even why

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Speaker 1: marriage was created, which was really just survival and like

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Speaker 1: meeting more people around to kind of like make sure

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Speaker 1: everyone could eat.

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Speaker 2: And oh and then there's a part in there they

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Speaker 2: touch on like some history of sex. And one of

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Speaker 2: the things that they touch on is during like Nazi

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Speaker 2: times during the Holocaust, they were saying how they pushed

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Speaker 2: for people not to have more sexual encounters and sexual

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Speaker 2: experiences because they contributed that to having free thinking. The

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Speaker 2: more in tune with your sexual desires you were and

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Speaker 2: more likely you were to act on them, the more

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Speaker 2: likely you were to think freely and then go against

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Speaker 2: the powers that be which to me makes a lot

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Speaker 2: of sense.

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Speaker 1: There's this other I'm gonna read this one little part.

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Speaker 1: I'm read two because there's they're important. I think they're

400
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Speaker 1: talking about just like the psyche and like what happens

401
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Speaker 1: what women are fed, and like basically they're just saying

402
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Speaker 1: female sexuality is a commodity, and like commodities, it's made

403
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 1: more valuable by its rarity. So a woman who shares

404
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:32,879
Speaker 1: sex widely is reducing her own market value, which literally

405
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Speaker 1: is just how women are shamed constantly, constantly, like.

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Speaker 2: We're like humans or something.

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Speaker 1: Think about like when you first start having sex or

408
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Speaker 1: like cooking up with boys and they want boys always

409
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Speaker 1: ask how many people have you, like had sex with

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Speaker 1: out hommy ho you made out with, and they like

411
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Speaker 1: want an actual number because that's as.

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Speaker 2: An adult niggas asking me that. I thought that.

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Speaker 1: I think it kind of ended like around my in

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Speaker 1: my mid twenties.

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Speaker 2: I thought someone ask me as early as like thirty one,

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Speaker 2: and he was obviously a child. I'm like negative, I don't.

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Speaker 1: Know, front, I'll say. And then there's also this idea

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Speaker 1: that if you really are in love, you will automatically

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Speaker 1: lose all interests in others. So basically, yeah, like, once

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Speaker 1: you're in love, there's no more sexual attraction or more

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Speaker 1: lusting over anyone else than if you do, then you're

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Speaker 1: clearly not in love.

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Speaker 2: And that's crazy, that's absolutely insane. I mean, yeah, but

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just feel like I was an avid cheater early on,

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Speaker 1: like when I first started dating.

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Speaker 2: Same because a lot of us are because of these reasons.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and like I think, I mean obviously daddy issues.

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Speaker 1: I was definitely seeking attention in men and men might

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Speaker 1: not men, let's get this straight, boys. Because I was

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Speaker 1: I did, I wanted love. I didn't really know what

432
00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 1: it felt like to be loved by a man or

433
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:51,400
Speaker 1: a boy per se in any capacity. Really. My stepdad

434
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 1: kind of came into my life around I would think

435
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,200
Speaker 1: I was like nine or ten. But like those like

436
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:59,160
Speaker 1: anchors and roots, they need to be put in there

437
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,639
Speaker 1: way before that, you know, and I never had that.

438
00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:03,880
Speaker 1: And so when I started getting interested, when boy started

439
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 1: getting interested in me, and I was a mature child,

440
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,040
Speaker 1: like not just physically because I was like my body

441
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:14,040
Speaker 1: matured rather quickly, but even in like my mindset. I

442
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,879
Speaker 1: think because my mom worked a lot and all the

443
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,720
Speaker 1: people that I was that were around me were always grown.

444
00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:22,440
Speaker 1: So I was listening to a lot of adult conversations.

445
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:25,480
Speaker 1: People would always tell me how grown I was and

446
00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 1: like that. It was like a good thing, and so

447
00:21:27,680 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 1: I like went with that even more, like I was like, oh,

448
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 1: I'm mature, like you know, I think you have also

449
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 1: like that's like kind of detrimental to children as well,

450
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,959
Speaker 1: like telling a child that, like, oh, you're so mature,

451
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,600
Speaker 1: you're so mature. I get it, Like yes, it makes

452
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 1: it's this like badge like you're meaning like you are intelligent,

453
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:50,400
Speaker 1: are intelligent, or like you're not annoying. Basically you're not annoying.

454
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 1: But for me, it was something that like I kind

455
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,720
Speaker 1: of wore like a badge like I am mature, like

456
00:21:54,800 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 1: I can't.

457
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,520
Speaker 2: Ye like oh, like i'm sixteen, but no, don't worry,

458
00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 2: I'm a mature Like even when I was dating or

459
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 2: fucking inappropriately men at sixteen, same thing, Like like I

460
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,600
Speaker 2: just you couldn't tell me that I was like the

461
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 2: rest of the sixteen year olds by but proven by

462
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:09,400
Speaker 2: these fucking journals, clearly I.

463
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,399
Speaker 1: Was right right because you are you're a baby, but

464
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 1: people are keep validating your maturity and then you start

465
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,520
Speaker 1: to believe it, and then you start wanting to partake

466
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 1: in mature activities.

467
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 2: I read I had done my natal chart like a

468
00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:24,600
Speaker 2: while ago, and I remember I didn't even know a

469
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,119
Speaker 2: natal chart can like go this deep, but basically it

470
00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,600
Speaker 2: said that, and it identify with this that whatever was

471
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,399
Speaker 2: going on in my house all that time, there was

472
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:33,960
Speaker 2: not a lot of attention on me, which was not

473
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:36,760
Speaker 2: My parents were obsessed with each other. My mom obsessed

474
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,360
Speaker 2: with my dad, Like it was like they were teenagers,

475
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 2: but in they had a house and two kids. Literally

476
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 2: they were just in their own world. And I remember

477
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,840
Speaker 2: the natal chart said you were always trying to like

478
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,919
Speaker 2: be heard and seen. So you've realized that talking eloquently,

479
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,840
Speaker 2: having adult conversations, adults would pay attention to you, and

480
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,680
Speaker 2: that's how you began to conduct your interactions by being

481
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,439
Speaker 2: smart and like being mature. Oh and I distinctly remember

482
00:23:03,680 --> 00:23:05,920
Speaker 2: some bitch, dumb bitch my uncle was dating. My uncle

483
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 2: was talking in the kitchen and like she started to

484
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,359
Speaker 2: curage and she's like, oh my god, I forgot I

485
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,800
Speaker 2: was talking to you like that. You're a kid. And

486
00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,440
Speaker 2: of course I thought, like, yeah, I'm mature. And then

487
00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,520
Speaker 2: inevitably people are like, oh, you're grown. You better watch her,

488
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:18,880
Speaker 2: she's grown, and.

489
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,040
Speaker 1: It starts to work against you.

490
00:23:20,119 --> 00:23:22,720
Speaker 2: Well, you start to believe the things that people tell you,

491
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:25,680
Speaker 2: and like grown is a big like you know, they

492
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:27,600
Speaker 2: that's a big thing for girls. I've never heard a

493
00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 2: little boy be called grown. True, that's never been said,

494
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,520
Speaker 2: like and I don't even know if, like do white

495
00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 2: parents use the term grown. It's such a like it's

496
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 2: like you grow, you grown, You better watch her. She fast,

497
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:42,919
Speaker 2: She's gonna be fast. And inevitably you begin to believe

498
00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,960
Speaker 2: those things, like it's very important how you talk to

499
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,200
Speaker 2: your kids. Even I have to check myself about this,

500
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,640
Speaker 2: because you do begin to believe those things, and then

501
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:56,119
Speaker 2: you start dabbling in grown and fast shit. And I

502
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,159
Speaker 2: think it's a combination of two things, you know, or

503
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,840
Speaker 2: there's a lot of combinations of things. I think sometimes

504
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 2: we are just born with Lesti's spirits, you know, or

505
00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:06,760
Speaker 2: like more sexual than others for sure, you know. And

506
00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:09,200
Speaker 2: then I think sometimes there's grown ups telling you shit

507
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 2: that you begin to believe to yourself. And then sometimes

508
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 2: there's like there's been something that's happened to someone you know,

509
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,679
Speaker 2: like you've been touched, ormalisted or stimulated in some ways,

510
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:21,080
Speaker 2: and so there are sexual things, but overall it's super important.

511
00:24:21,119 --> 00:24:23,520
Speaker 2: Like I think this whole A lot of our shit

512
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,680
Speaker 2: from the show comes just comes naturally, but like this

513
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 2: has been This wasn't obviously intentional, but this has been

514
00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 2: an interesting journey while reading our journals and by reading

515
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,040
Speaker 2: these books and really dissecting like the root of our

516
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 2: our openness and how dedicated we are to constantly just

517
00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 2: reflecting and checking in on ourselves and like our relationship styles.

518
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:45,879
Speaker 2: I mean, if you've been listening to the show for

519
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,200
Speaker 2: like six months, you know this is a fucking constant thing.

520
00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,439
Speaker 2: Am I open? Am I polly? Am I monogamous? Do

521
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 2: I want to be married? Am I slut? Am I home? No? No?

522
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: No?

523
00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 2: Am my partner and my secondary partner. I have a

524
00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,160
Speaker 2: boyfriend and my unicorn. Oh we have boyfriends. Yeah, both

525
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:05,560
Speaker 2: of us. We're constantly figuring it out because we were

526
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 2: told a lot of shit and we've believed a lot

527
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:11,920
Speaker 2: of shit. So congrats to you for continuously dissecting your sexuality.

528
00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 1: You too, you too. I you know, Mela, me and

529
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:17,199
Speaker 1: Meila are writing a book.

530
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 2: We're writing a book.

531
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're writing a book and We'll share more about

532
00:25:21,880 --> 00:25:26,080
Speaker 1: that later, but it's very exciting and it's been just

533
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 1: really I've had to really reflect on my past and

534
00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 1: why I am who I am now and what brought

535
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:39,000
Speaker 1: me here, and reading these journals like really brought me back.

536
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 1: And I've really been reflecting on that maturity aspect because literally,

537
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: so I heard it so often like you're so mature,

538
00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:49,399
Speaker 1: You're so mature, and then like my body matured and

539
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: then they'd be really be like, wait, how old are you?

540
00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,920
Speaker 1: You're thirteen? Oh, I thought you were eighteen, like twenty two,

541
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: Like twenty year old men hitting on me when I'm

542
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: in middle school, you know, and like I'm not interested

543
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,080
Speaker 1: in them. Like I was still immature in the ways

544
00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 1: that I liked boys my age, but I also liked

545
00:26:05,359 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 1: knowing that I was grown, you know, and that I

546
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:11,359
Speaker 1: could navigate even with a little like younger boys even

547
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 1: I'm a little bit more mature than you, oh for sure,

548
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:17,960
Speaker 1: you know, and like it's just crazy and.

549
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 2: And the attention you get from that. Yeah.

550
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: So yeah, speaking of you know, going way back, way

551
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:28,440
Speaker 1: way back, I found a journal from nineteen ninety five.

552
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,119
Speaker 1: I found two journals. One had a lock on it

553
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:33,040
Speaker 1: because I'm a Scorpio child and I don't want no

554
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 1: one reading my shit. And apparently I lost the key.

555
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:37,720
Speaker 1: Jamila had to bust the goddamn lock open. It was

556
00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,080
Speaker 1: it was like it was a hello. It was a

557
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 1: cropy sanrio crop too.

558
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 2: The frog.

559
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 1: So this one is from February second. Oh wow, there's

560
00:26:49,119 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 1: band aids on here?

561
00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,200
Speaker 2: What is this where you wanted to blackout?

562
00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 1: Oh? Like I did. Look, I used band aids to

563
00:26:55,359 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: block out things and I didn't want people to read anyway.

564
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: This one is from February second, nineteen ninety five. Dear Diary.

565
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,159
Speaker 1: Now that I'm in second grade, I still miss Max.

566
00:27:08,440 --> 00:27:11,600
Speaker 1: He is so nice. He and my cousin He My

567
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:14,440
Speaker 1: cousin is also so nice, just like Max. I can't

568
00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 1: believe they're almost like twins. And I wish that I

569
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:20,160
Speaker 1: can see Max and my cousin David and play Nintendo

570
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,360
Speaker 1: with them. What would we play? This is the next day,

571
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,359
Speaker 1: Dear Diary. I wish Flora was a little nicer. So

572
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: Flora is like my family member and also helps me

573
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 1: with Iri. So she was my nanny when I was

574
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:33,840
Speaker 1: a child, and she's now my daughter's nanny. If you've

575
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:35,200
Speaker 1: been listening, for a while. Then you've heard me talked

576
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 1: about Flora. But this is from ninety five, So, dear Diary,

577
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,320
Speaker 1: I wish Flora was a little nicer than she is

578
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,240
Speaker 1: right now, because last night I was mad. I wish

579
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,399
Speaker 1: I didn't have to clean my room and I was

580
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 1: trying to play the piano overnight and it's really fun.

581
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 1: But Flora was not being nice and Stephen and Jessica

582
00:27:51,480 --> 00:27:55,479
Speaker 1: were pushing me. At school, I told the teacher and

583
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 1: she got in trouble. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

584
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:06,040
Speaker 1: That was very very very very very funny. Today at

585
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 1: my house, I wanted to make eggs, but Flora said no,

586
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:11,119
Speaker 1: I don't know what she's talking about. I know how

587
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:13,680
Speaker 1: to make eggs. I've made them before. Then I went

588
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:20,679
Speaker 1: upstairs and I almost broke my ankle because Rama, I

589
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 1: think I almost broke my ankle. Also today, stupid Sean

590
00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:27,520
Speaker 1: almost broke my ankle at school because he pushed me.

591
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 1: Why are so many boys pushing me?

592
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:29,640
Speaker 2: Why?

593
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:37,159
Speaker 1: What the fuck? Why? As we got an argument, but

594
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 1: then we made up. That's ninety five, Erica.

595
00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,960
Speaker 2: Wow, it sounds very similar to twenty twenty one Erica.

596
00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:48,800
Speaker 1: And apparently I also had friends right in my journal I.

597
00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 2: Have either day, did you tell the people that who

598
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 2: were the two boys that you liked? When was your.

599
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:57,640
Speaker 1: Cousin Max and David? Max was No, David was my cousin.

600
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:01,000
Speaker 1: And I remember, like I literally remember I went to

601
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,680
Speaker 1: a wedding. I probably only met David like twice like

602
00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 1: that moment, but he's stuck in my memory for years.

603
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 1: I remember loving David till I was like around nine.

604
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 2: Oh, because you said you were dancing with them the dance.

605
00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: Right, So we went to the someone's wedding and like

606
00:29:14,920 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 1: he was like the boy and he was dancing. We

607
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 1: were dancing together, and that was my first time ever

608
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 1: like playing with a boy and then being like huh,

609
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 1: I like like you, like this is like not normal,

610
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 1: Like this isn't the same as like last week when

611
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 1: I was dancing with the other guy, Like this is

612
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,920
Speaker 1: like I like you? And I was obviously like yeah,

613
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,360
Speaker 1: like six or seven. Oh yeah, and my daughter is

614
00:29:36,400 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 1: six right now?

615
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,760
Speaker 2: Well, I told you Luna has expressed for likings for

616
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,640
Speaker 2: a boy in her class because he acts like an adult.

617
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 2: I like him because he acts aid and acts like

618
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 2: an adult.

619
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:48,400
Speaker 1: What does that mean?

620
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 2: I don't want to know is that Aiden's mom. I'm like,

621
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 2: you need to calm down. She's like, no, I don't

622
00:29:54,240 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 2: like him. I just like him. I just want to

623
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 2: be his friend. I'm like, okay, that's fine, but I

624
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,640
Speaker 2: can It's so where what is it start to turn?

625
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 2: Because I remember having a crush on.

626
00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 1: My car the dance floor. Apparently I had a crush on.

627
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:07,240
Speaker 2: My cousin too, because he was cute. I guess I

628
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:08,479
Speaker 2: thought he was a little older than me.

629
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: Is with incestual love.

630
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 2: Well, that's the first access you have. You gotta do

631
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 2: what you gotta do. You gotta find the attractions. You

632
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:17,480
Speaker 2: cousin come over here.

633
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I just remember David.

634
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 1: I remember Max. I remember Max. We played at the

635
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: park one time, and I think we played twice ever

636
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 1: in life. But you would have thought Max and I

637
00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 1: knew each other for years, like because I literally thought

638
00:30:33,040 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 1: about Max every day. I remember like lusting over him,

639
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 1: but not lusting like I want to even Like it

640
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 1: wasn't even like I wanted to kiss him. He was

641
00:30:41,120 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 1: just ever wanted to be around him. I just wanted

642
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 1: to hang out with him. I wanted to talk to him.

643
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,239
Speaker 2: I remember feeling that way about a little girl who

644
00:30:47,320 --> 00:30:49,800
Speaker 2: was still like I grew up with her, but I

645
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,880
Speaker 2: remember thinking like, I can't wait to get back over there.

646
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,560
Speaker 2: I must see Asia. You know it really makes me

647
00:30:56,640 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 2: this most these conversations, mostly when I'm looking for what

648
00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 2: is the moment in which bitches start acting crazy?

649
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 1: Well, let me tell you it's obsessed. Let me tell

650
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: you when I started acting crazy. I have a habit

651
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: in my journal right here.

652
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:10,560
Speaker 2: Please tell me what I think.

653
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 1: It was probably also ninety five, so I didn't put

654
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:15,719
Speaker 1: the date, but handwriting looks similar. Okay, actually looks still better.

655
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 1: It might be end to ninety five, Dear Carmen. So

656
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 1: this is I'm writing to my friend in my own diary,

657
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 1: Dear Carmen. When I was in first grade. Okay, yeah,

658
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:26,120
Speaker 1: I was six. When I was in first grade, Stephen

659
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 1: liked me and I liked him. But then my friend

660
00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,760
Speaker 1: Brenda said he likes Jessica. I don't like Jessica. She's mean.

661
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 1: I never liked her. She always uses me, fucking Jessica.

662
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,640
Speaker 2: Oh that's when we start cutting bitches for guys like,

663
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,920
Speaker 2: oh fuck you, Jessica. You like him too. I just

664
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,160
Speaker 2: I really want to know at what point do women like,

665
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 2: is it the Disney movies? What the fuck? Because every

666
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:53,479
Speaker 2: single fucking journal entry for like fifteen years, it's like

667
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 2: Thomas Danian boys Boys Boys, Boys, Boys, Boys kiss hug,

668
00:31:56,920 --> 00:31:59,360
Speaker 2: good boys. He came over boys boys Boy. I'm like,

669
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 2: what the fuck is happening?

670
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I want to read some boy journals.

671
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 2: There are none. They don't give a fuck. They're playing

672
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:13,440
Speaker 2: basketball and scratching their balls, jacking off. Bitches are reacting crazy.

673
00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: Oh my god. If I have a son, I'm definitely

674
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,600
Speaker 1: getting my journal and making them right so that I

675
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:17,640
Speaker 1: can do a case study.

676
00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:21,120
Speaker 2: It's a great idea. We might need to get pregnant

677
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 2: just for that.

678
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 1: Does any do any listeners have any sons that write

679
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:25,960
Speaker 1: in journals share their entries. Oh that was another thing

680
00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,760
Speaker 1: because so while I was going through my journals and

681
00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,000
Speaker 1: I was talking to Mela, because Mila shared before like

682
00:32:31,040 --> 00:32:33,760
Speaker 1: she has a lot of trauma about like her parents

683
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 1: and people reading her journals and like our exes reading

684
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,920
Speaker 1: her journals and just like not feeling safe in the

685
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 1: space that you felt safest. And I was like, so

686
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 1: Iri has a journal, and like so does Luna, Like

687
00:32:47,520 --> 00:32:48,960
Speaker 1: are we gonna read their journals?

688
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:52,000
Speaker 2: And she was like, we have to fucked up.

689
00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 1: I was like, what are we gonna cause the same trauma?

690
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,240
Speaker 1: We like repeating the trauma. But I'm like, you're right,

691
00:32:57,320 --> 00:32:58,760
Speaker 1: like I need to know what the fuck is going on.

692
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 2: I mean, we're gonna read them, but we're gonna not

693
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:02,240
Speaker 2: act like we read them.

694
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,120
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that's what our parents thought they were

695
00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 1: gonna do too.

696
00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 2: Now our parents are different, our parents are not. I mean,

697
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 2: I'm reading some of this shit, and apparently I must

698
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:15,360
Speaker 2: have really dug my trauma deep into a black hole

699
00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:18,400
Speaker 2: that I've forgotten about, because I mean, I remember hating

700
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 2: living in my household and thinking it can't wait till

701
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,720
Speaker 2: I get the fuck out of here. But these are

702
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,400
Speaker 2: like even more clear that my parents were paying me

703
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:31,440
Speaker 2: absolutely no attention. So I'm like, oh, this is October eighth,

704
00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 2: two thousand and four, so what like seventeen years ago?

705
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 1: Some shit?

706
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,840
Speaker 2: I get you, really, sixteen, dear journal, It's been a

707
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 2: while anyway. Shit seems to never go well with me

708
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:42,840
Speaker 2: right now. It seems as though everybody in my house

709
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:45,680
Speaker 2: is a stick up their ass, and I'm irritated of

710
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 2: everybody doing damn there nothing sitting around bitching about everything.

711
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:53,680
Speaker 2: You talk back, You're disrespectful. How the fuck you expect

712
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,200
Speaker 2: me to respond when all you do is scream and complain?

713
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 2: And I'm not mean and I don't have an attitude

714
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 2: until someone gives me a reason have one. And fuck that.

715
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 2: You're sixteen. I don't need to talk to you. Bullshit.

716
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 2: Fuck you if I was five. It's the same shit.

717
00:34:09,080 --> 00:34:12,719
Speaker 2: Don't expect what you don't give. This is me. I'm

718
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:16,920
Speaker 2: the same exact time. I can't stand being here. Sometimes

719
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 2: I want to run away. I can't wait till I

720
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:22,520
Speaker 2: move out. I won't be coming back. So I thought,

721
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:27,880
Speaker 2: I can't read that because my dad will go to

722
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:33,920
Speaker 2: jail more trauma. I've forgotten about gonna give him. I'm

723
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,440
Speaker 2: gonna give him a pass on that one. And on

724
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 2: top of that, me and Thomas, I don't know. He

725
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,839
Speaker 2: can't use the phone at his house. He won't buy one,

726
00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 2: so if he doesn't go to work, we won't speak.

727
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,080
Speaker 2: It's frustrating when you need someone, where the hell are they?

728
00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 2: It's hard, even though it's it's somewhat out of his hands.

729
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,359
Speaker 2: He gets these fucking mood swings and starts. Oh my god,

730
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:56,840
Speaker 2: I've been loving niggas. It's smooth sings since the fucking

731
00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:01,120
Speaker 2: early two thousands, bringing up all these necessary people from

732
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,799
Speaker 2: my past. And he's like, why won't you be with him?

733
00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:06,120
Speaker 2: Or you're a liar When we don't talk, you know,

734
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 2: it's like you're talking to guys, and and he does

735
00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:10,200
Speaker 2: this a lot, a lot out of nowhere.

736
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,800
Speaker 1: Basically he basically he's shaming you.

737
00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:17,600
Speaker 2: He's slept shaming me early. I yeah, Uh his name

738
00:35:17,640 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 2: Thomas Thomas.

739
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:19,640
Speaker 1: Where's Thomas at now?

740
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 2: Oh? He's not doing well. That's the one I told

741
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,800
Speaker 2: you I saw digging in the trash can on Ventura.

742
00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:27,640
Speaker 2: He started using drugs and he had a lot of

743
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,080
Speaker 2: trauma that I was aware of. And now I believe

744
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:32,640
Speaker 2: he's on the streets. Thomas, I'm gonna have to tell

745
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,520
Speaker 2: a Luna about that. Let me tell you how your

746
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 2: first loves change tremendously. Okay, I don't know what the

747
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:43,720
Speaker 2: fuck I'm talking about. Oh wait, hold on, He says,

748
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 2: at least Nat was honest, at least Chanelle was appreciative, Like, damn,

749
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:51,040
Speaker 2: leave me feeling insecure. If they're all these things that

750
00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,320
Speaker 2: I'm not, then why the fuck are you with my ass?

751
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 2: Then he's confusing the hell out of me. Then ten

752
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,120
Speaker 2: minutes later he apologizes and says he didn't mean it,

753
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,680
Speaker 2: but too late. But I've already heard how great these

754
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:05,839
Speaker 2: bitches were and it ain't easy to forget. So now

755
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 2: I keep comparing myself, feeling insecure as hell.

756
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,759
Speaker 1: Oh baby, we.

757
00:36:11,680 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 2: Haven't really seen each other, and shit just isn't going

758
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 2: smoothly between us as of now. Don't get me wrong,

759
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 2: I'm always here to make shit work on this relationship

760
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,839
Speaker 2: because I love him and I know there's nobody else

761
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 2: for me. So I'm patient with our situations because he's

762
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:23,840
Speaker 2: patient with me.

763
00:36:24,280 --> 00:36:26,799
Speaker 1: But I just don't sound doesn't sound patient at all.

764
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 2: It doesn't sound like that at all, Jamila. But I

765
00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,640
Speaker 2: just want to make him happy. I don't want him

766
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:36,440
Speaker 2: depressed or feeling alone or unhappy. He says that a lot.

767
00:36:36,640 --> 00:36:39,400
Speaker 2: I'm just not happy the past year, blah blah blah,

768
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 2: Like damn, I haven't done shit.

769
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 1: About you.

770
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 2: I just want to be the cure to all his

771
00:36:46,160 --> 00:36:51,719
Speaker 2: problems in pain and make everything right. Good night. WHOA,

772
00:36:52,360 --> 00:36:55,320
Speaker 2: I need therapy. I still need fucking therapy.

773
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,239
Speaker 1: I want to be the cure to all his problems

774
00:36:58,239 --> 00:36:58,800
Speaker 1: and pain.

775
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,720
Speaker 2: Good night, can I talk to you roun the cancer

776
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 2: of my I'm such a cancer Jesus. You know, one

777
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,000
Speaker 2: of the most common DMS we get is always about

778
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 2: how to introduce yourself to weed. I know this is

779
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,920
Speaker 2: big scary thing, especially as a mom or as a parent.

780
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:20,600
Speaker 2: We have all this stigma around it. But like we

781
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:24,160
Speaker 2: always say, we have the most stress, and it's hard

782
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,520
Speaker 2: for us to give you, you know, top notch weed

783
00:37:26,560 --> 00:37:29,080
Speaker 2: advice because we live in LA and we've kind of

784
00:37:29,719 --> 00:37:31,759
Speaker 2: found our way on our own, because we've had the

785
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 2: grace to really have trial and error.

786
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 1: You know what. I love that this book by Danielle

787
00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:41,800
Speaker 1: Simone Brand really covers all of the bases. It's called

788
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:45,279
Speaker 1: Weed Mom, The Canny Curious Woman's Guide to healthier relaxation,

789
00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,879
Speaker 1: happier parenting, and chilling the fuck out.

790
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,800
Speaker 2: I really love this book because it not only touches

791
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,000
Speaker 2: on like everything you need to know about weed, but

792
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:59,759
Speaker 2: also just the basics about THHC, about CBD, about what

793
00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 2: to look for at the dispensary, and it kind of

794
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 2: gives a lot of tips about how to chill the

795
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 2: fuck out. I think as moms it's hard to just

796
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 2: relax and feel guilt free and indulging, and Danielle really

797
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,239
Speaker 2: breaks down like how cannabis can enhance your life, even

798
00:38:14,280 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 2: your sex life and self care. And I just I

799
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 2: love this book so much because she's even given me

800
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:23,120
Speaker 2: a better outlook on my cannabis use and a better

801
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,360
Speaker 2: way to understand it and even you know, tell my

802
00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 2: talk to my friends and family about my cannabis use.

803
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 1: So make sure you go check out her book. You

804
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,360
Speaker 1: can find it on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, and even

805
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 1: online at Walmart.

806
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:37,560
Speaker 2: Get weed Mom in a store near you, and we'll

807
00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 2: be doing a book club with weed Mom in August,

808
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,480
Speaker 2: so be sure to get it so you can read

809
00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 2: along with us and we can discuss it and we

810
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 2: can dive into this because it's time for moms and

811
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,359
Speaker 2: weed to be destigmatized.

812
00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:49,200
Speaker 1: Amen.

813
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:54,879
Speaker 2: Oh okay, so you know, I you know, I told

814
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:58,120
Speaker 2: you that I linked up with a unicorn for me

815
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:02,279
Speaker 2: and my man, right, I know. And most amazing thing

816
00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,760
Speaker 2: ever is usually when you're looking to seek a threesome,

817
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:06,760
Speaker 2: it's hard to find where to find a third person.

818
00:39:07,160 --> 00:39:11,880
Speaker 2: But field app made it so easy. We found a

819
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 2: girl we liked, we messaged for a little bit, and

820
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:15,680
Speaker 2: we went out last week.

821
00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:17,120
Speaker 1: That's so sexy.

822
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,400
Speaker 2: It's super sexy and super fun, and I'm really excited

823
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,800
Speaker 2: to see where this triangle love goes.

824
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,360
Speaker 1: I love Field because it's for anyone, whether you're into

825
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:31,799
Speaker 1: vanilla sex, kinky sex, thirty some sex, group sex, all

826
00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 1: the sexes. They have every single kink you could possibly imagine.

827
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:38,279
Speaker 1: On this app. You will fulfill your fantasies and.

828
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 2: You will find your community.

829
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:42,000
Speaker 1: You'll find your community and fulfill all your fucking fantasies,

830
00:39:42,040 --> 00:39:45,320
Speaker 1: literally fucking fantasies. And here's some great news you guys.

831
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,200
Speaker 1: You can download the Field app for free and support

832
00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 1: our show by using the link in this episode's description.

833
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:53,359
Speaker 2: Just click the link in our episode to get the

834
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,760
Speaker 2: Field app for free today. You're welcome.

835
00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,000
Speaker 1: I also re along with the fact that I was

836
00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 1: boy crazy as well, that I was an early manifestor.

837
00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 1: I didn't realize I was manifesting, but as I read

838
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 1: my journal, like page by page, there were things that

839
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 1: I would say that I wanted and then like twenty

840
00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:18,799
Speaker 1: pages in, I had, but I never acknowledged it because

841
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 1: I was always so fucking hard on myself. I was

842
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 1: always felt like I wasn't doing enough, even in like

843
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 1: my talents, like there was I had this whole chap,

844
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,759
Speaker 1: like this whole like long thing I'm not going to read,

845
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 1: it's so fucking long, basically saying that like I booked

846
00:40:31,480 --> 00:40:34,239
Speaker 1: this film and I was in Atlanta, and I was

847
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 1: feeling so insecure, and that I didn't feel like I

848
00:40:36,080 --> 00:40:38,319
Speaker 1: deserved to be there, and that I didn't work hard

849
00:40:38,400 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 1: enough even though I fucking booked it and I was there,

850
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: like and that like I didn't deserve it, and that

851
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:45,319
Speaker 1: I needed to move to New York and then I

852
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:47,239
Speaker 1: needed to go take classes in New York so that

853
00:40:47,280 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 1: I can be better. And then what did I do?

854
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 1: I moved to New York and I took classes to

855
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,759
Speaker 1: be better. Still never acknowledged that I did. That. Still

856
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,320
Speaker 1: was hard on myself, Like even said, there was a

857
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:57,799
Speaker 1: one passage where I was saying that, like I can't

858
00:40:57,800 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 1: wake to move out of my mom's house. I just

859
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: don't want to go back to college. I hate college.

860
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 2: I'm hoping something comes up.

861
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: I'm hoping something comes up. And then like a month later,

862
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,799
Speaker 1: I'm on tour with Macy Gray. It was just like

863
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 1: not realizing that like everything that I was writing was

864
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,160
Speaker 1: somehow manifesting, even though I didn't believe it, which let

865
00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 1: me know how powerful I was, even though I was

866
00:41:17,120 --> 00:41:21,600
Speaker 1: like contradicting myself constantly, and now no, and now like

867
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:24,280
Speaker 1: being the manifestor that I am and that we are

868
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:27,480
Speaker 1: like and being in a positive space and seeing how

869
00:41:27,719 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 1: positive thoughts, how quickly they materialize, you know, I wish

870
00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:35,080
Speaker 1: That's why I'm so excited to be encouraging that and

871
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:37,960
Speaker 1: Irene now, you know, like and really putting a word

872
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,520
Speaker 1: to it and giving her like a toolbox so she

873
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,000
Speaker 1: understands like what it is that she's doing, because I

874
00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:47,040
Speaker 1: didn't realize what I was doing. I also I didn't

875
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: realize how incredibly insecure I was.

876
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 2: I mean, clearly I was too. Natalie and that bitch

877
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:55,040
Speaker 2: Chanel were just making me feel incredibly insecure. I've been

878
00:41:55,120 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 2: leting niggas make me feel insecure for his centuries. Jesus Christ.

879
00:41:57,920 --> 00:41:59,719
Speaker 1: There was this poem that I read, Oh my.

880
00:41:59,640 --> 00:42:03,680
Speaker 2: God, my favorite Erica has a long I have to

881
00:42:03,719 --> 00:42:06,319
Speaker 2: go to my mom's house and refurbish some journals. But

882
00:42:06,480 --> 00:42:10,439
Speaker 2: Erica has a long, twenty year bid of journals over here,

883
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:13,400
Speaker 2: and I'm kind of jealous of my trauma. I realized

884
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 2: that a lot of my writing trauma that I developed

885
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 2: a secret language because I'm a psycho and writing was

886
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 2: such an important part of my childhood and a part

887
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:25,719
Speaker 2: of my channeling my feelings and being like therapizing. It's

888
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 2: crazy how like time it's all the same, you know, Like, essentially,

889
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:31,879
Speaker 2: I stopped writing a lot because I've had like four

890
00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 2: hundred instances where my parents, my teachers and people I

891
00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:38,040
Speaker 2: was fucking read my journals. I was probably cheating, they

892
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:40,719
Speaker 2: found out. And so during my pregnancy and during that

893
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 2: time where I really wish I had record, I was

894
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 2: so terrified to write because my baby daddy read all

895
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 2: my shit. But I see how like the talking on

896
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:53,360
Speaker 2: the podcast kind of has facilitated that same thing. And

897
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,600
Speaker 2: even right now as we're writing a book, as we

898
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:58,399
Speaker 2: have this grand, amazing opportunity to write this book, and

899
00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,399
Speaker 2: we've i mean, I've questioned it, like how the fuck

900
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 2: am I writing a book? I'm an author, I'm having

901
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 2: the opportunity to write a book, even though it clearly

902
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:07,080
Speaker 2: I had been authoring for four hundred years. But there's

903
00:43:07,120 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 2: that questioning of it, you know. But like this, even

904
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 2: these journals are a manifestation of what the fuck we're

905
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:15,680
Speaker 2: doing right now it's crazy. But anyway, I'm really jealous

906
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:20,000
Speaker 2: that you have vivid memories of your pregnancy and that

907
00:43:20,040 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 2: relationship that I was too afraid to have. Are you

908
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:24,080
Speaker 2: going to share your poem or which one?

909
00:43:24,239 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna before I go to the poem,

910
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 1: because the poem was about my baby daddy and social

911
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,200
Speaker 1: media because Instagram started and then I was tripping. But

912
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:34,080
Speaker 1: this was actually the person I lost my virginity too.

913
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:36,560
Speaker 1: So this person, his name was Kyle, and he went

914
00:43:36,600 --> 00:43:39,320
Speaker 1: to the all boy high school behind my house. And

915
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,200
Speaker 1: you would have thought I knew him for a long time,

916
00:43:41,239 --> 00:43:41,760
Speaker 1: but I didn't.

917
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,359
Speaker 2: Well, I've teenage. In teenage years, a week is.

918
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 1: Like four months at least. So I actually had a

919
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 1: boyfriend at the time that I was with and we

920
00:43:51,400 --> 00:43:53,359
Speaker 1: had been together for like nine months, and like we'd

921
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:56,319
Speaker 1: never had sex, of course, like we'd like made out.

922
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: He like fingered me. Maybe I like gave a blowjaw,

923
00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 1: because like when you're in like eighth grade at a

924
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:05,560
Speaker 1: private school, if you're not occasionally giving blowjobs and you're

925
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:07,320
Speaker 1: prude and nobody wants to be proved.

926
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,319
Speaker 2: I don't think I gave blue jobs when I don't

927
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 2: think I gave blow jobs, and thirteen.

928
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:13,200
Speaker 1: I gave like one or two.

929
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,799
Speaker 2: It was occasional ocrobably. I was like, I might have

930
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 2: waited till.

931
00:44:17,600 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 1: I remember my first blowjob. It was in Oh my,

932
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:23,880
Speaker 1: I don't remember. It was behind the alley in Santa Monica. Like,

933
00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 1: oh God, this is so sad. I'm sorry, mom, Jesus

934
00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 1: Christ is so sad. Also, this goes along with my

935
00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: like virginity story where I lost my virginity in the

936
00:44:31,280 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 1: backyard and a shed, like just not beautiful moments that

937
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,960
Speaker 1: you'd hope your child would have when like having these moments,

938
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:43,560
Speaker 1: Like God. Anyway, this is from February fourteenth, Valentine's Day,

939
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:47,120
Speaker 1: two thousand and three. Hey baby, what's up? I'm just

940
00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:50,320
Speaker 1: was this is z was up? I'm just writing this

941
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 1: letter to say Happy Valentine's Day. Damn, I can't believe

942
00:44:53,160 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 1: it's already been a year that I've been knowing you.

943
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 1: Oh no, this is this is an old one. I

944
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:58,880
Speaker 1: remember last year you wrote me a letter, so I

945
00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:01,359
Speaker 1: thought I'd write you one this time. This time last year,

946
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,760
Speaker 1: I was with that nigga Aaron, and of course tripping

947
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:09,440
Speaker 1: over yos and then we all know what happened the

948
00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:13,759
Speaker 1: day after Valentine's Day, and it's literally a picture a

949
00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 1: stick figure of people fucking.

950
00:45:16,239 --> 00:45:18,840
Speaker 2: One stick figure benover went behind the other stick. I

951
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 2: don't think I've also ever made stick figures in that figurine.

952
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 2: The boy you were a freak.

953
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 1: Lol, too bad this V Day you were sick aka cheating. Anyways,

954
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 1: after all that went down, I was sprung on you

955
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,280
Speaker 1: and then the drama began. Let me refresh your memory,

956
00:45:34,719 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 1: and then I underlined Megan, Damn, that was messed up.

957
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,680
Speaker 1: But it's cool because I got me a boyfriend, even

958
00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 1: though you think he looks like a gargoyle. Oh yeah,

959
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,759
Speaker 1: I did have a boyfriend. I had another boyfriend at

960
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:51,480
Speaker 1: this time too. Because Kyle wouldn't commit to me. He

961
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:55,280
Speaker 1: was like the private school all boy ho I. I

962
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:57,279
Speaker 1: wanted to lock him down. I was going to make

963
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,480
Speaker 1: him settle down, because that's what bitches do. We will

964
00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 1: settle down. That guy that will not settle down.

965
00:46:02,239 --> 00:46:05,799
Speaker 2: Is that a part of our like like our DNA manifesto,

966
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,240
Speaker 2: because I feel like like that's just our goal in life.

967
00:46:08,400 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 1: And Kyle kept trying to tell me he wasn't going

968
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:13,240
Speaker 1: to settle down like he was actually an ethical slut. Okay,

969
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,000
Speaker 1: then you and her breakup, and Carrie and I break up,

970
00:46:16,040 --> 00:46:17,840
Speaker 1: and now we're back to where we started, which I

971
00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 1: think is a good thing because I missed you. Man.

972
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:23,160
Speaker 1: I'm also writing this letter to say thank you for

973
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,319
Speaker 1: listening to all my shit with Carrie that I know

974
00:46:25,360 --> 00:46:28,839
Speaker 1: you didn't want to hear, but listened. Anyways, anyway, back

975
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:31,439
Speaker 1: to the subject of Valentine's Day, which I guess symbolizes love.

976
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: I also wanted to let you know I love you

977
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 1: and have loved you for a while, but you already

978
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:38,480
Speaker 1: knew that. Just thought i'd tell you again. You mean

979
00:46:38,520 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 1: so much to me, and I hope that we stay

980
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:42,200
Speaker 1: knowing each other for a long time because maybe one

981
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,080
Speaker 1: day we can turn what we have into more. That's

982
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,280
Speaker 1: really up to you, because you're the one who doesn't

983
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: want to ruin what we have, which I understand. But anyways,

984
00:46:50,680 --> 00:46:56,960
Speaker 1: Happy Valentine's Day, baby, Love Always, Erica Psycho very confusing,

985
00:46:57,040 --> 00:47:00,200
Speaker 1: I go this was the vol did I not? Maybe

986
00:47:00,200 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 1: I didn't give him these letters. I don't know why

987
00:47:01,640 --> 00:47:03,600
Speaker 1: I have these letters that I did not give them

988
00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 1: to him. I don't know.

989
00:47:04,840 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 2: You're just getting your feelings out this one.

990
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:09,120
Speaker 1: Was from the year before before. This is the when

991
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 1: I read him before I wrote him before I lost

992
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:13,319
Speaker 1: my virginity, because I was going back and forth and

993
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:15,359
Speaker 1: saying that I really like my boyfriend, that he's done

994
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:17,080
Speaker 1: nothing wrong, and I really like him, but I also

995
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:18,600
Speaker 1: like you. And that was me trying to be an

996
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:20,840
Speaker 1: ethical slut and telling him like, look, I really like you,

997
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:22,160
Speaker 1: but I also like this guy, but like I can't

998
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,440
Speaker 1: stop thinking about you, so maybe we should just hang

999
00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:26,760
Speaker 1: out and like just take it slow. And then literally

1000
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:28,839
Speaker 1: twenty four hours later, I lost my virginity to.

1001
00:47:28,840 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 2: Him, Let's take a bolt, here's my ass.

1002
00:47:33,080 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 1: There, you go, meet me in the shed. Yeah, it's

1003
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,320
Speaker 1: so interesting to read that, And you know, that was

1004
00:47:39,360 --> 00:47:42,040
Speaker 1: a really defining moment in my life, him losing my

1005
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 1: virginity and then him like being really careless with that,

1006
00:47:44,239 --> 00:47:47,399
Speaker 1: like he didn't really give a fuck. And not only

1007
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:49,200
Speaker 1: that was I think I shared too that when I

1008
00:47:49,200 --> 00:47:52,839
Speaker 1: lost my virginity, I didn't bleed and he didn't believe

1009
00:47:52,880 --> 00:47:54,200
Speaker 1: that I was a virgin and it's kind of like

1010
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:56,239
Speaker 1: shamed me, and I thought there was something wrong with me,

1011
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,520
Speaker 1: Like why didn't I bleed? Is my pussy broken? Like

1012
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 1: what the fuck, and not having anyone to really talk

1013
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:04,400
Speaker 1: to anybody about that with except maybe like my thirteen

1014
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 1: year old friends who obviously don't know shit about cherry

1015
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 1: popping and virginity. When really I wish I would have

1016
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,359
Speaker 1: been able to ask my mom now, I really wish

1017
00:48:13,400 --> 00:48:14,839
Speaker 1: I could have been able to be like, Mom, look

1018
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 1: this happened. I know you're not gonna love it, but like,

1019
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 1: is my pussy broken?

1020
00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 2: Mom? I just need to know this guy told me

1021
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 2: my pussy's broken? Is it true?

1022
00:48:25,280 --> 00:48:26,320
Speaker 1: Or no? Okay?

1023
00:48:26,480 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 2: Thanks? But he said that I had sex? Did I?

1024
00:48:30,800 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 2: I'm confused?

1025
00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 1: Well, because then I kind of like then I started

1026
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 1: seeking I literally would have sex with people sometimes to

1027
00:48:38,440 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 1: just I needed to get validated to know that my

1028
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: pussy was good because of that trauma, because I was like,

1029
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:44,960
Speaker 1: is it not good? Does that not mean it was good?

1030
00:48:44,960 --> 00:48:47,240
Speaker 1: And he said I was experienced. He said I seemed

1031
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:49,839
Speaker 1: experienced and that I didn't belied, and so basically I

1032
00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:54,120
Speaker 1: lied and that I probably wasn't a virgin was shaming.

1033
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 2: I could see where my like Thomas not leving me back.

1034
00:48:57,960 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 2: I started to be like, fuck niggas, fuck niggas, fuck

1035
00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 2: them on, I don't need them and then I started

1036
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:04,120
Speaker 2: acting crazy.

1037
00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:08,440
Speaker 1: Speaking of crazy, I'm just gonna go read this last poem.

1038
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,399
Speaker 1: This is my last entry, guys, and you can't wait

1039
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:12,239
Speaker 1: for me to read all my.

1040
00:49:12,239 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 2: Diary entries specifically for this.

1041
00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 1: But I did, like when me and my baby daddy

1042
00:49:17,040 --> 00:49:19,520
Speaker 1: started dating, I started, I didn't write as much. There

1043
00:49:19,520 --> 00:49:23,560
Speaker 1: were moments that I wrote, but I remember distinctly when

1044
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:26,840
Speaker 1: Instagram was created and I started posting and he started posting,

1045
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,279
Speaker 1: and at the time, like, you know, no, I think.

1046
00:49:29,280 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone had a lot of followers. But

1047
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:35,719
Speaker 1: I had moved to New York. Actually we had broken up.

1048
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:37,759
Speaker 1: I had moved to New York, and he was like

1049
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:41,080
Speaker 1: claiming he loved me still and wanted me back, and

1050
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:42,880
Speaker 1: I was just so annoyed, and I was like, why

1051
00:49:42,920 --> 00:49:45,040
Speaker 1: don't you ever post me on Instagram? And so I

1052
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,880
Speaker 1: wrote this poem to express myself. And it goes a

1053
00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:54,120
Speaker 1: little something like this January twentieth, twenty fourteen. It seems petty,

1054
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 1: but it's not. It makes me feel small. So stop,

1055
00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:59,880
Speaker 1: am I a secret? Like the thoughts you go to

1056
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 1: sleep with? We had this talk before social media and

1057
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:07,479
Speaker 1: whoores I know you think it's silly. My friends ask

1058
00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 1: what's the dally, so post my picture? Let them know

1059
00:50:11,440 --> 00:50:14,880
Speaker 1: you my nigga, ain't afraid to show post my picture

1060
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:21,719
Speaker 1: just one time. Let these girls know you are mine. End.

1061
00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:23,360
Speaker 2: That was beautiful.

1062
00:50:23,480 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 1: Did he post my picture?

1063
00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:27,200
Speaker 2: No, I posted your picture every day.

1064
00:50:29,080 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 1: But the needing of the validation, like I needed him

1065
00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:36,000
Speaker 1: to validate me publicly. I needed him to you know what.

1066
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:37,640
Speaker 1: I think part of it too is like even with

1067
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:39,440
Speaker 1: the guy that I lost my virginity to, he never

1068
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:41,960
Speaker 1: validated me publicly either, Like we never he was never

1069
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:45,720
Speaker 1: my boyfriend. It was never like we were never linked together,

1070
00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 1: and like I wanted so desperately to be like him,

1071
00:50:49,200 --> 00:50:51,920
Speaker 1: to call me his. And I think that's why I

1072
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 1: also became addicted to relationships. I was a serial relation

1073
00:50:55,360 --> 00:50:57,839
Speaker 1: in the past. I've been a serial relationship person because

1074
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,279
Speaker 1: it gave me the validation of like, I'm yours and

1075
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:02,439
Speaker 1: you want me to be yours, and you're gonna tell

1076
00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 1: people that I'm yours and you're gonna post it on Instagram,

1077
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 1: God damn it, Facebook, and also friends her.

1078
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:12,680
Speaker 2: Friend validation is super important. I'm realizing because I'm reading

1079
00:51:12,719 --> 00:51:14,440
Speaker 2: this shit and it's like, oh, he was nice to me.

1080
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:16,959
Speaker 2: I'm in love. I'm sure it's love, but I'm also

1081
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 2: reading my parents were disrespectful to me, and they didn't

1082
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 2: tell me nice things, and they were like always criticizing me,

1083
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:27,200
Speaker 2: criticizing me, criticizing me, And clearly the criticizing caused me

1084
00:51:27,280 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 2: to seek any type of affirmation and validation from niggas,

1085
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 2: and when they didn't do that, I'm like, what the fuck?

1086
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,359
Speaker 2: And I'm just searching for this validation. But like how

1087
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 2: we talk to our kids is important and vital because

1088
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:41,319
Speaker 2: those they will go search for that shit elsewhere, and

1089
00:51:41,440 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 2: even if it is an empty well of fucking compliments.

1090
00:51:45,600 --> 00:51:48,839
Speaker 1: Well, that's why the the father role is so important

1091
00:51:49,440 --> 00:51:53,120
Speaker 1: to girls. It's so fucking important, and like it's something

1092
00:51:53,160 --> 00:51:57,920
Speaker 1: that like I, you know, my co parenting situation is

1093
00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:00,680
Speaker 1: what it is, and you know, I wish that we

1094
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:03,359
Speaker 1: were closer, and I wish that I could, I don't know,

1095
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:06,880
Speaker 1: just give him some perspective on like certain things that

1096
00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 1: are that like I wish that I had as a

1097
00:52:09,680 --> 00:52:11,719
Speaker 1: young girl that I would have heard from my father, Like,

1098
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:14,000
Speaker 1: your father is supposed to be the first person that

1099
00:52:14,080 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 1: validates you, not some stupid ass little boy you know

1100
00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:20,160
Speaker 1: who doesn't even know what the fuck that means. And

1101
00:52:20,200 --> 00:52:21,960
Speaker 1: it's not even the little boy's fault. You know, he

1102
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 1: doesn't know.

1103
00:52:22,640 --> 00:52:26,120
Speaker 2: He's learning too, right, He probably is experiencing fucking trauma

1104
00:52:26,120 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 2: in his own house.

1105
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 1: Right, And it's just so important, like the role that

1106
00:52:29,480 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 1: dads play in daughters' lives, because my dad was literally

1107
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:35,640
Speaker 1: not around at all, and so I was constantly trying

1108
00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:38,040
Speaker 1: to like, I remember feeling like, oh, that's what that

1109
00:52:38,040 --> 00:52:41,399
Speaker 1: feels like. Oh I like that, Oh okay, And I

1110
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:44,399
Speaker 1: just want my like my daughter to a be able

1111
00:52:44,440 --> 00:52:46,400
Speaker 1: to come to me, whether she loses her virginity in

1112
00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 1: a shed or not, and be able to talk to

1113
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:51,960
Speaker 1: me about it, and like, obviously I might be disturbed,

1114
00:52:52,400 --> 00:52:54,880
Speaker 1: but I would much rather just take it on the

1115
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:56,799
Speaker 1: chin and be able to have that conversation with her

1116
00:52:56,920 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 1: than like her never speak to me about sex again

1117
00:52:59,560 --> 00:53:03,080
Speaker 1: and then in such a toxic, unhealthy way sleep with

1118
00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:07,360
Speaker 1: way too many people in closets at parties, in weird spaces,

1119
00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:14,280
Speaker 1: trying to search for some sort of like fulfillment. Okay, Amy, I'm.

1120
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 2: Reading, Oh my god, this is kind of traumatic. I'm

1121
00:53:17,160 --> 00:53:20,120
Speaker 2: reading When I got an abortion when I was sixteen,

1122
00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:25,719
Speaker 2: in how my parents weren't supportive, and it's like throughout

1123
00:53:25,760 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 2: this entire time, from the day I found out I

1124
00:53:28,120 --> 00:53:31,600
Speaker 2: was pregnant, all I needed was support through my friends

1125
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:34,399
Speaker 2: and Thomas. I received that. There's nothing more I could

1126
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:38,640
Speaker 2: have asked for. It's the most stressful and hardest, most

1127
00:53:38,640 --> 00:53:42,080
Speaker 2: painful event of my life thus far, and quite honestly,

1128
00:53:42,280 --> 00:53:44,440
Speaker 2: after the way you've reacted this is to my parents,

1129
00:53:44,719 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 2: I'm still glad I didn't inform you the day first day,

1130
00:53:47,719 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 2: because had I, you would have added to the guilt

1131
00:53:50,520 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 2: I was already feeling. You made a comment saying I

1132
00:53:53,719 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 2: told my mom most recently and she got so pissed.

1133
00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:56,800
Speaker 1: She got pissed.

1134
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:58,880
Speaker 2: Did you remember she denied it. She said I would

1135
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:02,480
Speaker 2: never say that. But the proofs here says you made

1136
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:05,080
Speaker 2: a comment saying you don't care to just throw your

1137
00:54:05,160 --> 00:54:08,280
Speaker 2: baby in the trash the day after I had an abortion.

1138
00:54:08,600 --> 00:54:11,879
Speaker 2: You have no idea how much that hurts or how

1139
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:14,080
Speaker 2: that makes me feel. This event has really made me

1140
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 2: feel as though in the future had something just as

1141
00:54:17,600 --> 00:54:21,080
Speaker 2: draststick come up in my life. No, I honestly wouldn't

1142
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:23,839
Speaker 2: tell you based off how you dealt with this situation.

1143
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:26,400
Speaker 2: Because of this, you're gonna take away my privileges to

1144
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:29,400
Speaker 2: leave the house, see my friends and my boyfriend. You

1145
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:32,759
Speaker 2: think because I'm having sex that every time I leave

1146
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 2: the house that's what I'm gonna do, or every time

1147
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:36,880
Speaker 2: I go somewhere I'm lying so I can be with

1148
00:54:36,960 --> 00:54:40,319
Speaker 2: Thomas to go have sex for you probably, Well, No,

1149
00:54:41,040 --> 00:54:43,279
Speaker 2: I don't lie about who I'm with or where I'm at.

1150
00:54:43,360 --> 00:54:46,160
Speaker 2: I'm very honest about those things. I've been honest, and

1151
00:54:46,160 --> 00:54:47,880
Speaker 2: I don't think it's fair that because now you know

1152
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 2: I'm sexually active, you're gonna lock me up, because honestly,

1153
00:54:51,360 --> 00:54:53,960
Speaker 2: that only leads to more lying. There are girls that

1154
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:55,880
Speaker 2: go to my school and have sex in the church

1155
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:59,919
Speaker 2: because it's empty after school. I know of girls super

1156
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:06,480
Speaker 2: sexual acts behind trees, people have sex anywhere. I'm not

1157
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 2: one of those people. I was, but I'm trying to

1158
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:11,279
Speaker 2: make you understand that that shouldn't be an issue. And

1159
00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:14,480
Speaker 2: as far as my grades go, they're not horrible, but

1160
00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,520
Speaker 2: I admit second semester they could have been better. But

1161
00:55:17,640 --> 00:55:20,080
Speaker 2: it seems now that now that you know I'm involved

1162
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:22,880
Speaker 2: with Thomas on a sexual level, you're blaming my grades

1163
00:55:22,920 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 2: on that. Just to remind you, Thomas and I have

1164
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,000
Speaker 2: been dating for almost a year, and first semester I

1165
00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:31,680
Speaker 2: was doing just fun. It's no surprise that doing second

1166
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 2: semester my grades seem to drop because it's the end

1167
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:37,000
Speaker 2: of the year. But that's my fault, and I'm going

1168
00:55:37,040 --> 00:55:38,920
Speaker 2: to change that this year by staying up throughout the

1169
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:42,360
Speaker 2: entire year. When I set my mind to do something,

1170
00:55:42,440 --> 00:55:44,840
Speaker 2: I'm going to do it because I know I'm capable

1171
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:45,120
Speaker 2: of it.

1172
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:46,759
Speaker 1: Better talk that shit.

1173
00:55:47,040 --> 00:55:49,640
Speaker 2: I need you to understand that I'm taking that taking

1174
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:53,360
Speaker 2: away privileges isn't the appropriate response to this particular situation

1175
00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:56,799
Speaker 2: my parenting skills at sixteen. Honestly, I need you to

1176
00:55:56,840 --> 00:55:58,920
Speaker 2: be here for me and support me, not putting me

1177
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:01,759
Speaker 2: down or making me feel guilty. It's heart already as

1178
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 2: it is for me to be here for the same reasons.

1179
00:56:05,080 --> 00:56:07,959
Speaker 2: But I live with you. You're my mom. It means

1180
00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 2: the most coming from you.

1181
00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:13,040
Speaker 1: You know. It's so crazy, like kids literally telling their

1182
00:56:13,080 --> 00:56:14,360
Speaker 1: parents what they need from.

1183
00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:16,880
Speaker 2: Them and they're like fuck and their parents are like, no.

1184
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 1: No, fuck that you don't need that, and it's like

1185
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:21,560
Speaker 1: you're literally saying like, if you just created this space,

1186
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 1: I would be able to tell you, and I would

1187
00:56:24,200 --> 00:56:26,480
Speaker 1: I want that. Please give me that, please, please, And

1188
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:28,640
Speaker 1: I would tell that to my mom too. I'd be like,

1189
00:56:28,640 --> 00:56:30,359
Speaker 1: why don't you think I tell you anything? Because every

1190
00:56:30,400 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 1: time I tell you, you get upset and then she

1191
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:33,719
Speaker 1: would be like, you're being dramatic, and then she would

1192
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 1: get upset and then I'd be like, this is why

1193
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:37,560
Speaker 1: I'm not telling you shit. It's like I don't know

1194
00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,200
Speaker 1: what it is. And I have to check myself too,

1195
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: because it keeps going to cycle where parents literally forget

1196
00:56:42,120 --> 00:56:43,480
Speaker 1: what it was like to be kids. And I don't

1197
00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:46,319
Speaker 1: care what they say. They say they do remember they don't,

1198
00:56:46,560 --> 00:56:48,800
Speaker 1: or they choose or they just choose not to, or

1199
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 1: they get too emotional because it's their kids, you know.

1200
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:52,919
Speaker 1: And I get it, like I get I get that.

1201
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 1: I think I don't actually get it all the way yep,

1202
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:56,560
Speaker 1: because my daughter's only six and she has yet to

1203
00:56:56,560 --> 00:57:00,719
Speaker 1: tell me she's had sex and a shed. But but like,

1204
00:57:01,160 --> 00:57:04,680
Speaker 1: I hope that I can just remember these moments, and like,

1205
00:57:04,760 --> 00:57:06,359
Speaker 1: I want to encourage you guys. If you guys are

1206
00:57:06,400 --> 00:57:08,840
Speaker 1: at home, and you guys are journalers when you were

1207
00:57:08,880 --> 00:57:11,520
Speaker 1: a kid, go back and read your journals. You might

1208
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 1: be surprised about the things A that you forgot the

1209
00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:17,560
Speaker 1: maturity level in which you had in some cases. I mean,

1210
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:20,960
Speaker 1: obviously you're a child, and the ways that even your

1211
00:57:21,000 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 1: parents overcrossed your boundaries, you know, because kids are not

1212
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 1: allowed to have boundaries for some reason, right, Like you're

1213
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,000
Speaker 1: not allowed to have boundaries, You're not allowed to have privacy.

1214
00:57:31,640 --> 00:57:33,560
Speaker 1: Like it's traumatizing.

1215
00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:35,760
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I'm right home able more. I know,

1216
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:38,040
Speaker 2: it's really making me crazy. I think if I don't

1217
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:39,760
Speaker 2: get out of the hell out of my house soon,

1218
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:42,520
Speaker 2: I'm going to have a nervous fucking breakdown for real.

1219
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:46,800
Speaker 2: It's like a struggle you can't win or even fight. Ah.

1220
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 2: It's like when you push the gas and end up

1221
00:57:49,440 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 2: on the same spot. It's like I want to come

1222
00:57:52,240 --> 00:57:55,160
Speaker 2: up for air, but I can't. It's a suffocating situation.

1223
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 2: You make me feel lonely and ashamed to be me,

1224
00:57:57,880 --> 00:58:00,360
Speaker 2: afraid to recognize my own feelings. You make me feel

1225
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:01,840
Speaker 2: like I don't know if this is about a nigga

1226
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:04,600
Speaker 2: or my mom. I feel like my dreams will never amount.

1227
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 2: You make me feel like who I am is not

1228
00:58:07,200 --> 00:58:10,560
Speaker 2: who I'm planned on me being. I'll finish tomorrow, can

1229
00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,680
Speaker 2: I I'm too tired to talk to complain any longer.

1230
00:58:14,600 --> 00:58:16,600
Speaker 2: It's true. And you know what, even like reading the

1231
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 2: Ethical Slut and having this conversation, I guess like the

1232
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:23,400
Speaker 2: bottom fucking line of the world is niggas be honest

1233
00:58:23,920 --> 00:58:26,240
Speaker 2: with your kids and with yourself and with the people

1234
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:28,360
Speaker 2: you're fucking because at the end of the day, it's

1235
00:58:28,360 --> 00:58:30,760
Speaker 2: still what the truth is. And like, if your kids

1236
00:58:30,760 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 2: can't be honest with you, if you can't be honest

1237
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:34,240
Speaker 2: to yourself, if you can't be honest with your kids

1238
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:36,240
Speaker 2: about the shit that you've done, they won't be honest

1239
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 2: to you. And this fucked up cycle continues and continues

1240
00:58:39,640 --> 00:58:43,480
Speaker 2: and continues because people are afraid and ashamed to just

1241
00:58:43,600 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 2: be who the fuck they are teenager seven years old?

1242
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:52,160
Speaker 1: Another read your journals, guys, if you did it, read

1243
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:55,880
Speaker 1: your journals and reframe your parenting based on your journals.

1244
00:58:56,080 --> 00:58:58,000
Speaker 2: And actually, I take it back, I'm not gonna read

1245
00:58:58,000 --> 00:59:01,440
Speaker 2: my kid's journal because me developing this entire language that

1246
00:59:01,480 --> 00:59:04,520
Speaker 2: I'm going to have to transcript later, it is gonna

1247
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:06,480
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna do this to her because there's obviously

1248
00:59:06,520 --> 00:59:07,560
Speaker 2: trauma in the pudding.

1249
00:59:08,760 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 1: Ah well, what that said, do we have time for

1250
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 1: horror stories? I mean, or is this do we have

1251
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:16,480
Speaker 1: any time for Let's just do one? Should we do one?

1252
00:59:16,600 --> 00:59:17,360
Speaker 2: Just do one quickly?

1253
00:59:18,120 --> 00:59:21,160
Speaker 1: I think that you know we asked you guys at

1254
00:59:21,200 --> 00:59:25,360
Speaker 1: the beginning of the month to send in your virginity stories,

1255
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 1: and some of them were horse stories. So I feel

1256
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:31,120
Speaker 1: like this is a good What am I trying to say?

1257
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:36,919
Speaker 1: These are good ones? Okay? So how did you lose

1258
00:59:36,920 --> 00:59:37,760
Speaker 1: your virginity?

1259
00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:43,240
Speaker 2: Whose?

1260
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:47,000
Speaker 1: Stories? On a bathroom floor? At fourteen? I believe my

1261
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 1: introduction to sex shaped my overall relationship with sex. It

1262
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 1: wasn't about me, it didn't feel good. I didn't have

1263
00:59:53,040 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 1: a voice. I was there for someone's use, and I

1264
00:59:55,280 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 1: was too young to understand that I wasn't valuing myself

1265
00:59:57,840 --> 00:59:59,560
Speaker 1: and that it was supposed to be special and even

1266
00:59:59,600 --> 01:00:03,600
Speaker 1: an impactwing experience. While I enjoy sex now, I'm still

1267
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:06,520
Speaker 1: being forced to re examine my relationship with it and

1268
01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:11,000
Speaker 1: approach it in a way that makes me actually feel empowered.

1269
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:16,320
Speaker 1: This Woor story is after a college party, my two

1270
01:00:16,320 --> 01:00:18,120
Speaker 1: friends and I decided to go back to the dorms

1271
01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:20,760
Speaker 1: with these three guys that we knew. We paired off

1272
01:00:20,800 --> 01:00:22,640
Speaker 1: and started making out with the guys, and then someone

1273
01:00:22,760 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 1: yelled switch, so we switched makeup partners. But the last switch,

1274
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:30,760
Speaker 1: I was paired up with my crush and decided not

1275
01:00:30,840 --> 01:00:33,200
Speaker 1: to miss out on the opportunity and chose him to

1276
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:35,960
Speaker 1: be my first YEP, I lost my virginity in a

1277
01:00:36,000 --> 01:00:38,680
Speaker 1: dorm room with a few of my college friends switching.

1278
01:00:38,920 --> 01:00:40,680
Speaker 1: He was fine as fuck and I was having the

1279
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:41,320
Speaker 1: best time.

1280
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 2: You know, I think sometimes we put too much pressure

1281
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:47,640
Speaker 2: on the virginity breaking. I think I'm gonna I'm gonna

1282
01:00:47,640 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 2: tell Lena it's important, like it's important. But like I

1283
01:00:50,400 --> 01:00:52,480
Speaker 2: think movies and shit put too much pressure on it.

1284
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:55,080
Speaker 2: I told you, like I lied for years about where

1285
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 2: I left. I had lost my virginity because I was

1286
01:00:56,680 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 2: ashamed that I did with some random assnaket. But like

1287
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:00,880
Speaker 2: I've survived.

1288
01:01:01,400 --> 01:01:03,760
Speaker 1: This one is a true horror story. Where'd you lose

1289
01:01:03,800 --> 01:01:08,120
Speaker 1: your virginity? Ugh in the back of a car, bled everywhere,

1290
01:01:08,280 --> 01:01:11,720
Speaker 1: and then he told the entire school. Then someone spread

1291
01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:15,320
Speaker 1: a rumor I had aids what it was traumatizing.

1292
01:01:15,520 --> 01:01:16,880
Speaker 2: Kids are terrible people.

1293
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:19,240
Speaker 1: What the fuck Aids?

1294
01:01:19,960 --> 01:01:21,400
Speaker 2: It's only std they knew.

1295
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:24,840
Speaker 1: Oh, okay. Last one, I was about fifteen and we

1296
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:28,560
Speaker 1: were dating as far as I was concerned you and

1297
01:01:28,720 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 1: oh my god, yes, I love how we you're my boyfriend.

1298
01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 2: Now.

1299
01:01:32,120 --> 01:01:33,880
Speaker 1: It was in the car and it was horrible. It

1300
01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 1: lasted maybe five minutes, and his dick was super small.

1301
01:01:36,840 --> 01:01:39,400
Speaker 1: I didn't even feel the dick, just pressure that small

1302
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:42,200
Speaker 1: to this day, one of the worst experiences I've ever had.

1303
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:44,120
Speaker 1: Then he had the nerve to play me and started

1304
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:46,320
Speaker 1: dating my friend, but he gave her an STD so

1305
01:01:46,520 --> 01:01:49,040
Speaker 1: I guess she got the karma.

1306
01:01:50,240 --> 01:01:56,000
Speaker 2: You one, Okay, Well, that's it, Okay, I have one.

1307
01:01:56,520 --> 01:01:58,520
Speaker 2: One time I snuck over Thomas's house that I was

1308
01:01:58,560 --> 01:02:01,240
Speaker 2: in love with at that time. And when I say sneak,

1309
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:04,040
Speaker 2: I mean take the bus four hundred miles to Devonshire

1310
01:02:04,160 --> 01:02:05,920
Speaker 2: and I don't even know where, just go to his

1311
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 2: fucking house and back and lie and say. I was

1312
01:02:08,040 --> 01:02:11,920
Speaker 2: in dance practice and he was living with this friend

1313
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:15,240
Speaker 2: of his and his dad and his dad's sons and daughter.

1314
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:17,600
Speaker 2: And I was supposed to be over there. And guess

1315
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 2: why while we were middle fucking because I was also

1316
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:22,680
Speaker 2: wearing like lingerie underneath my uniforms because I was a

1317
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:28,000
Speaker 2: progressive teenage slut. And the dad came home and this

1318
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,080
Speaker 2: nigga is like get in the closet, and I was

1319
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:33,680
Speaker 2: like so scared to get caught because just I don't

1320
01:02:33,680 --> 01:02:35,400
Speaker 2: know this Nigga's dad and he was a dad, had

1321
01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:38,240
Speaker 2: this deep ass floors. I had to get in the closet,

1322
01:02:39,240 --> 01:02:41,320
Speaker 2: jump off the dick, get in the closet, and I

1323
01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:43,480
Speaker 2: can hear him like, oh the fuck is in my house.

1324
01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:47,760
Speaker 2: I was like shaking in the closet and then he

1325
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:49,960
Speaker 2: opened slides to the closet rope and I was like,

1326
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:52,080
Speaker 2: get out of the closet. It's okay, just get out

1327
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:59,000
Speaker 2: the closet. I was like fucking traumatizing. I mean, I mean,

1328
01:02:59,040 --> 01:03:00,000
Speaker 2: I was my virginity.

1329
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:01,680
Speaker 1: But did you walk to the bus back or what?

1330
01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:02,400
Speaker 1: How'd you get home?

1331
01:03:02,560 --> 01:03:03,920
Speaker 2: I had you had to get home. I had to

1332
01:03:03,920 --> 01:03:06,720
Speaker 2: get on the bus back. But I was going through

1333
01:03:06,720 --> 01:03:09,560
Speaker 2: great lengths to get the dick, hiding in closets, getting

1334
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:12,200
Speaker 2: cursed up by people's parents. But I just remember being

1335
01:03:12,440 --> 01:03:17,000
Speaker 2: so scared and ashamed, but still getting the dick committed.

1336
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:21,080
Speaker 2: We don't have to do this more often. We have

1337
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:22,720
Speaker 2: so many entries. I know, I didn't we get to

1338
01:03:22,720 --> 01:03:23,720
Speaker 2: dissect this good enough.

1339
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:26,960
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, you guys, maybe we'll do another episode full

1340
01:03:27,000 --> 01:03:30,640
Speaker 1: of diary entries specific to different topics, because I have

1341
01:03:30,680 --> 01:03:33,400
Speaker 1: a lot of different topics, have many many topics.

1342
01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 2: Get your book, Get Ethical Slut, the Purple version, the

1343
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:40,120
Speaker 2: newest edition, so you can read it along with us.

1344
01:03:40,320 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 2: Eric and I will be in Travels in the Jungle.

1345
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:45,880
Speaker 2: So if you have not followed our Instagram, this is

1346
01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:49,480
Speaker 2: a good time good moms underscore bad choices. We will

1347
01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:52,680
Speaker 2: be in the jungle in Costa Rica, writing a book

1348
01:03:52,760 --> 01:03:57,280
Speaker 2: and getting into shit, so makes she follows on Instagram. Also,

1349
01:03:57,480 --> 01:04:01,080
Speaker 2: please rate and review this episode because it matters. And

1350
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,240
Speaker 2: you just listen to this whole shit for free, so

1351
01:04:03,560 --> 01:04:04,440
Speaker 2: that's free. Do it.

1352
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:07,000
Speaker 1: And also, we're going to be in New York the

1353
01:04:07,080 --> 01:04:10,720
Speaker 1: first week and second week of July, so we are

1354
01:04:11,040 --> 01:04:14,480
Speaker 1: planning a little meet up with our New York tribe,

1355
01:04:14,520 --> 01:04:16,960
Speaker 1: so look out for that. I'm really excited to finally

1356
01:04:17,000 --> 01:04:19,080
Speaker 1: get back to New York. The last time we were

1357
01:04:19,120 --> 01:04:21,240
Speaker 1: in New York was right before COVID. We had an

1358
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:22,200
Speaker 1: amazing dinner.

1359
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:24,840
Speaker 2: Oh we're trying to do a part two of that dinner.

1360
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:27,160
Speaker 2: If you were at the first dinner in twenty twenty,

1361
01:04:27,600 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 2: please reach out to us via DM again because we're

1362
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:32,560
Speaker 2: gonna do it again. Yeah, it's I think if we

1363
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:35,520
Speaker 2: should just close it for those people, like just those people,

1364
01:04:35,680 --> 01:04:37,600
Speaker 2: those people who were there last year. I mean that,

1365
01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:39,040
Speaker 2: I don't know, whatever, We'll figure it out.

1366
01:04:39,400 --> 01:04:43,440
Speaker 1: Hit us up, Hit us up. And if you haven't

1367
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:46,680
Speaker 1: joined our Slack community, our message board, please please do so.

1368
01:04:46,960 --> 01:04:50,760
Speaker 1: You know, I noticed that I posted something on Instagram

1369
01:04:51,080 --> 01:04:52,760
Speaker 1: the other day and that was kind of triggering for

1370
01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:55,080
Speaker 1: certain moms that I feel like they don't have a tribe.

1371
01:04:55,640 --> 01:04:58,640
Speaker 1: You know, I totally understand that, like meeting new moms

1372
01:04:58,640 --> 01:05:01,400
Speaker 1: and meeting new parents can be really intimidating. And that's

1373
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:04,640
Speaker 1: why this community is so important, because we have people

1374
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,680
Speaker 1: in there from all over the United States that want

1375
01:05:07,720 --> 01:05:11,040
Speaker 1: to connect. They want to meet other moms in their city.

1376
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:13,320
Speaker 2: And they're if they fuck with us, they're open minded, cool,

1377
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:15,360
Speaker 2: chill mom. So that's the whole point.

1378
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:17,760
Speaker 1: Right, And so we actually have a channel on Slack

1379
01:05:17,840 --> 01:05:20,439
Speaker 1: where you can drop where you're at, where you live

1380
01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:22,959
Speaker 1: and connect with the mom in your city. And that's

1381
01:05:23,000 --> 01:05:26,160
Speaker 1: what this whole thing is about. So make sure you

1382
01:05:26,280 --> 01:05:28,680
Speaker 1: join Patreon so that you can get a link into

1383
01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:33,880
Speaker 1: our Slack community. And I love you guys, right, this

1384
01:05:36,360 --> 01:05:40,800
Speaker 1: socord let's says

1385
01:05:42,600 --> 01:05:43,280
Speaker 2: Ranza.