1 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: Hey, this Sanny and Samantha and welcome to Stephane. Never 2 00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:19,800 Speaker 1: told your protection of iheartradios how stuff works. So today 3 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:22,959 Speaker 1: we'd come to you from back from a break, a 4 00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: brief break. I guess, well, it feels like we did, 5 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:30,440 Speaker 1: although we didn't. We had a holiday that we didn't 6 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:35,199 Speaker 1: really celebrate what that was. Yes, the running early in 7 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:38,159 Speaker 1: the morning does not make it a holiday to me. No. 8 00:00:39,479 --> 00:00:42,520 Speaker 1: I actually started doing that to get out of family alication. 9 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,440 Speaker 1: You know what I did that for Thanksgiving? I did 10 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:47,640 Speaker 1: a half marathon just so I could not have to 11 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:52,200 Speaker 1: go to Thanksgiving Day dinner. I have considered it. Yes, um, 12 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: and I love thanks Giving. I love the food. Yes, 13 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,639 Speaker 1: I love the first half, and I love I love 14 00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:05,240 Speaker 1: some of the people. Um. Well, I liked it more 15 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,720 Speaker 1: when my mom, unfortunately, it was like I'm done with this, 16 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 1: which good for her, And then we started having weird 17 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 1: like lasagna dishes and meatloaf and or just sandwiches. Someone 18 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:21,720 Speaker 1: made me a turkey, so I mean, good for good 19 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:24,680 Speaker 1: for mom, you know. But at the same time that me, 20 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,680 Speaker 1: I really wanted green beans and corn bread and a 21 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 1: well corn bread, but you know, the good stuffs, the 22 00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:34,520 Speaker 1: l stuffs. I don't make note of this. I won't 23 00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 1: make note of this. UM. And you were feeling a 24 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: bit under the weather. I feel like I'm dying, but 25 00:01:41,280 --> 00:01:46,080 Speaker 1: you're I'm bravely. I'm here. I've pretty much diagnosed ourself 26 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:48,760 Speaker 1: with everything through a weather and d so you know, dying, 27 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 1: That's what it said to me. It's just a big 28 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:55,640 Speaker 1: gold because you're like, oh, you're all older than thirty five. 29 00:01:55,760 --> 00:02:00,320 Speaker 1: That means you are dead. Great, well, I look forward 30 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: to that. UM. But today we are talking about quote 31 00:02:05,120 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 1: unquote normal normal, Yes, when it comes to body types 32 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:13,640 Speaker 1: and women. And this was a request from a listener. 33 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,880 Speaker 1: Why but I think we had a few conversations about, um, 34 00:02:16,919 --> 00:02:20,799 Speaker 1: the whole too skinny, too big, plus size, all of that, 35 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: and then we had a rider coal man and with 36 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: what about me? I'm considered normal in between? And I 37 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,280 Speaker 1: haven't heard much And I was like, you know what, 38 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,919 Speaker 1: I'm with you, I've not heard too much either, No, no, 39 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 1: for sure, And and we wanted to say before we 40 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,320 Speaker 1: really get started here, UM, for women out there who 41 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 1: are confident in their bodies, especially in bodies that don't 42 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:46,079 Speaker 1: fit the skinny ideal or are the beauty standard that 43 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,200 Speaker 1: we have been fed so long that we are constantly 44 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 1: bombarded with that's awesome, that's amazing. Yes, can you please 45 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: exude that and teach us the ways? Yes, yes, because 46 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,359 Speaker 1: we were to get into, um, some of our own 47 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:07,360 Speaker 1: insecurities and we don't want to project that onto other people. 48 00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:10,799 Speaker 1: I do think a lot of people can relate, but 49 00:03:11,639 --> 00:03:15,119 Speaker 1: in in the beautiful off chance that you can't, Oh 50 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,799 Speaker 1: my gosh, um and I, for instance, I've been really 51 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:22,200 Speaker 1: thin before in my life, really really thin, and I 52 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,239 Speaker 1: still felt like I need to lose more weight and 53 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:30,120 Speaker 1: that wasn't healthy. But it's just we're told so much 54 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,959 Speaker 1: as women that were not enough, that we have to 55 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 1: look this way. And if you don't look that way, 56 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:39,200 Speaker 1: which is a very specific, narrow thing, it can really 57 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:45,000 Speaker 1: become an unhealthy thing that you're pursuing that you can't achieve. Right. 58 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 1: And once again, as we talk more and more, you're 59 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: going to hear is talking about examples of ourselves, what 60 00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 1: we don't like, what we fought through, what we're fighting 61 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,200 Speaker 1: through essentially, and it's not necessarily to put out there 62 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: this is what is normal, but more so of why 63 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 1: the states to be broken exactly because we I mean, 64 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: in a wonderful world, we would be comfortable in our 65 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:11,360 Speaker 1: own skin and we would appreciate how beautiful we are 66 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: and that our normal is beautiful and we don't have 67 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 1: to feel like like we have to wear these things 68 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,800 Speaker 1: that don't fit as well or something like that. And 69 00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: as we had been told previously on different different episode, 70 00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 1: we need to learn to thank our bodies, yeah, for 71 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 1: existing and putting us through the daily challenges. Yes, for 72 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 1: anyone out there who is comfortable in your own skin, 73 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:40,440 Speaker 1: I aspire to be you, truly, like I work on 74 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: it every day. And I know it's not easy for 75 00:04:42,720 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: any of us because I'm assuming that anyone who's reached 76 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 1: that point had to fight for it um and and 77 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,279 Speaker 1: to be bombarded with this these messages all the time, 78 00:04:52,320 --> 00:04:57,400 Speaker 1: and to never see representation beyond a skinny right, And 79 00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:01,960 Speaker 1: to those influencers such as mother and caretakers and fathers 80 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:06,239 Speaker 1: out there who actually teach this and teach the girls 81 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 1: to love themselves or not just girls, but everyone to 82 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,280 Speaker 1: love themselves and they're able to show that, that's amazing 83 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:17,400 Speaker 1: and good on you keep going. Yes, so uh, we 84 00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:19,920 Speaker 1: we applaud you, We applaud all of you, but we 85 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 1: don't want our insecurities to sound like we think less 86 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:24,360 Speaker 1: of anyone or that we think this is what you 87 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:29,680 Speaker 1: should be trying to achieve. We're just insecure. And I 88 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: think it does illustrate the pressure that a lot of 89 00:05:32,360 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: us feel, right all right, Before we get into it, 90 00:05:36,279 --> 00:05:39,720 Speaker 1: it is worth saying that normal is a tricky word 91 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:43,120 Speaker 1: to use. And in researching this, I found so many 92 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:47,400 Speaker 1: articles about mental health and the new normal and the 93 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:50,800 Speaker 1: dangers and benefits of having a normal when it comes 94 00:05:50,839 --> 00:05:55,560 Speaker 1: to diagnosing somebody, and also just to verify that normal 95 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 1: to one person is very different to another person, right. 96 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: And I think that normal can be and has been 97 00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 1: used as a weapon or a tool of control, um, 98 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 1: which we're going to talk about a little bit today. UM, 99 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 1: a way to get people to to conform. If we 100 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,400 Speaker 1: all think a normal woman is a size too because 101 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,040 Speaker 1: that is all we see, then that is another way 102 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,920 Speaker 1: to control women's bodies, or to make us hate our 103 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,840 Speaker 1: own bodies even more and then pay out more to 104 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:29,360 Speaker 1: companies that will help us achieve normal. Right. And I 105 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:33,080 Speaker 1: would say that normal extends to be about perfection when 106 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: you start really thinking about, um, the whole outlier of 107 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: what does this mean? What does society see as normal 108 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:44,720 Speaker 1: and normal has become a little more higher standards as 109 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,640 Speaker 1: we go along, and I know we're gonna get into 110 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: that later. Wink wink, nudge, judge. Um, and normal, normal 111 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: sometimes isn't good enough. And we wanted to be the 112 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: iconic exception, the next big thing, you know, the whole 113 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:01,000 Speaker 1: idea of seeing someone on screen and they go beyond 114 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 1: the normal, and that's what you're supposed to be, the 115 00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:06,840 Speaker 1: superstar and that's the ultimate goal, right, because I think 116 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 1: in some ways we've tied normal to mediocre, right, which 117 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:17,160 Speaker 1: is not not the case, right. But uh so there's 118 00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff tied into this word um. And 119 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: we're specifically focusing on body type today and that can 120 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: get tricky too, especially when it comes to separating out 121 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:33,520 Speaker 1: healthy body types and variants with it within that because 122 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: in reality, there is no specific normal when it comes 123 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: to body shape or size. And that's not to say 124 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:42,360 Speaker 1: your body isn't normal. And I say that to myself 125 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:46,320 Speaker 1: all the time, like this is not normal. I don't 126 00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: know what is going on, This is not what's supposed 127 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 1: to happen. I think we all feel that way. But um, 128 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: what we're trying to say is there just isn't one 129 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 1: body type that it counts for normal. Um, there's a 130 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,840 Speaker 1: range of sizes between skinny and fat that are all 131 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: kind of normal. Yeah. And we here are are not 132 00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:11,360 Speaker 1: even necessarily here, but are just constantly exposed to clothes 133 00:08:11,400 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 1: designed to look good for women on the skinnier side. 134 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,480 Speaker 1: And that's not to say skinny women never run into problems. 135 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,800 Speaker 1: I had a friend who was really tall and really skinny, 136 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 1: and she frequently had to custom order her clothing because 137 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: they didn't have anything that fit her and that was expensive. Um. 138 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 1: And lately we are hearing more and more about plus 139 00:08:30,600 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 1: sized clothes and affordable, well made plus size clothes, but 140 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,439 Speaker 1: we still have a very long way to go in 141 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:41,240 Speaker 1: that it is happening. But um, yeah, we don't hear 142 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 1: much about the women in between that and just put 143 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:48,559 Speaker 1: that out there. We're not complaining that that, you know, 144 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:52,000 Speaker 1: that's a bad thing in any way whatsoever, because I know, 145 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,959 Speaker 1: for the most part, there was more accessibility for quote 146 00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:00,199 Speaker 1: unquote the in between the skinny and the plus eyes 147 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:04,079 Speaker 1: in availability. It's kind of like if we talk about 148 00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,599 Speaker 1: skin tone as well, one extreme to the other is 149 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: harder to find, you know. Uh So that's not at 150 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: all what we're saying. But we do talk about the 151 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: fact that, even though it may be there, is not 152 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 1: all the time seen as we can tell, because I mean, 153 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: it definitely had that whole idea of either you're too 154 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,199 Speaker 1: skinny or you're not skinny enough or not fat enough 155 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 1: to be on television quote unquote, um and different things 156 00:09:25,559 --> 00:09:27,640 Speaker 1: like that, which needs to be like, why it isn't 157 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 1: that a representation when that is more average or more 158 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:36,960 Speaker 1: accurate as a population. Yeah, and we'll get into this more. 159 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:42,559 Speaker 1: But basically, no, a lot of fashion is ignoring the 160 00:09:42,679 --> 00:09:46,199 Speaker 1: majority of women. So while there might be stuff available, 161 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:50,599 Speaker 1: it might not look good on most women, right, But 162 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,480 Speaker 1: we'll get into that more. Um. Yeah, like you said, 163 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:56,640 Speaker 1: we don't really see this body type that we're talking about, 164 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 1: UM in the media very often. I don't know if 165 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:01,679 Speaker 1: you remember that, but I remember this. I remember when 166 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,880 Speaker 1: Lelo and Stitch came out, there was all this news 167 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,719 Speaker 1: about look at her thighs, their regular sighs, spies, and 168 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,560 Speaker 1: I saw it and I was like, those regular sighs, 169 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 1: they still look pretty skinny to me. I was thinking, um, 170 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 1: and you were talking about that with thigh stuff, there 171 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:18,880 Speaker 1: was a cartoon, and I don't know if it was 172 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:20,439 Speaker 1: like the Beevis and butt Head cartoon, but it was 173 00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: in that genre. And Daria where there was a character 174 00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 1: of a blonde she's the hot girl, but she had 175 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,040 Speaker 1: really thick thighs and hips. But then she has tiny waist. 176 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,760 Speaker 1: So but the thick thighs, I was like, oh yeah, baby, 177 00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:38,880 Speaker 1: I'm okay because I got thoughts for days, That's how 178 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,719 Speaker 1: I like to say it. But definitely don't have that 179 00:10:40,800 --> 00:10:44,000 Speaker 1: tiny tiny waist. I'm like, oh man, they halfway got there. 180 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,280 Speaker 1: But maybe that's the whole new thing, the whole you know, 181 00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:50,120 Speaker 1: bigger butts, thicker thighs, the herd dust and now I 182 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: was told that one time. I was told that too, 183 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,040 Speaker 1: and I I was very taken aback by it. Maybe 184 00:10:56,080 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 1: I'm just not on what's going on. Actually, have I 185 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 1: wanna say, you even a hit and miss. Sometimes you 186 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: know things that I'm like what, And the other times 187 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,079 Speaker 1: you're like no, I'm gonna go back to my D 188 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 1: and D world, which is also hip. Now I've just 189 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,079 Speaker 1: watched it started Stranger Things and all the songs like 190 00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,240 Speaker 1: it's brought it back. I'm no longer than Hit one. 191 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,679 Speaker 1: I did I found. I found the new season of 192 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:25,400 Speaker 1: Stranger Things in their incorporation of DND, quite hilarious of it, 193 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: and I enjoyed it. Who knew I was so cool? 194 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:34,199 Speaker 1: You are so cool? Okay, So we wanted to go 195 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,800 Speaker 1: over kind of what is going on in this realm 196 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:42,719 Speaker 1: of normal body type. The average American woman is five 197 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,840 Speaker 1: ft three inches, which is about one point six meters UM, 198 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 1: with a thirty eight point one inch waist circumference which 199 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 1: is about point nine six ms, and a weight of 200 00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: about point five pounds which is about seventy six point 201 00:11:55,960 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 1: four kilos and um. All of this researching, all of 202 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 1: this um brought me back to when I was young 203 00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:10,319 Speaker 1: and my parents got me a normal sized Barbie. I 204 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,959 Speaker 1: think it was called average Barbie. That was the name 205 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,880 Speaker 1: of it. I was supposed to go home this weekend, 206 00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:16,880 Speaker 1: but I was going to try to find you're gonna 207 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:21,359 Speaker 1: bring it? I got derailed, but it was it was barbiesque, 208 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:24,319 Speaker 1: but more realistically proportioned. I remember she was bringing a 209 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:31,040 Speaker 1: very eighties power suit dressing was a power suit. I 210 00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,839 Speaker 1: did not get that memo. It was called something like 211 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 1: Magical Me and her name was Midge. It was something 212 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:41,760 Speaker 1: like that. It was. Yeah, I hope it was Midge, 213 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 1: Um and Samantha. You were looking up comparisons of Barbie 214 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: over the years, like her size, and she's actually gotten less. Right. 215 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: It was weird because the nineties verses of the two 216 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: thousand Barbie were so different. Of course, it kind of 217 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 1: had that whole cone booby shape versus like the little 218 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:06,040 Speaker 1: natural booby shape and then the bigger booty for the 219 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:08,880 Speaker 1: two thousands. It was weird. But at the same time, 220 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,319 Speaker 1: the waist was so slim it was uni realistic, and 221 00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: that whole body in size was completely it looked significantly thinner. Yeah, shocking. 222 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,800 Speaker 1: I would have thought that by that even at that 223 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:24,440 Speaker 1: point they would have realized, hey, this is not real. 224 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,280 Speaker 1: Well yeah, and we've done many episodes on Barbie and 225 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:30,240 Speaker 1: we can talk about Barbie forever. I know. The big 226 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:35,559 Speaker 1: argument is it's easier to make clothes for It's always 227 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,360 Speaker 1: the argument though, in that they're just even like women 228 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:41,599 Speaker 1: or identify as female. And I looked into that and 229 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,719 Speaker 1: it's not true. But um well, from what I've read 230 00:13:44,760 --> 00:13:47,719 Speaker 1: it's not true. I am no expert, uh, but there 231 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:52,360 Speaker 1: are um new body types of Barbie you can get 232 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:55,480 Speaker 1: these days. Um. One of them, there's three body types 233 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,960 Speaker 1: and one of them is curvy, and her body size 234 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,959 Speaker 1: is a six are size six are eight And um 235 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:04,959 Speaker 1: that that isn't even near the average woman. And yes, 236 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 1: this is for children, but it's still influences what we 237 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:10,040 Speaker 1: think women look like when we are the fact that 238 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:14,120 Speaker 1: you know, bobbies don't have any kind of worry anatomically 239 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:19,640 Speaker 1: correct body parts other than well, you're welcome thought about that. 240 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 1: But I mean, if you will to think about it, 241 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:25,360 Speaker 1: how has this really been evisual to kids outside of anyway? 242 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:28,120 Speaker 1: Keep going, I'm going to stop talking. I guess I'll 243 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:31,320 Speaker 1: ponder that later. Um, And I love this quote I 244 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:34,160 Speaker 1: found from Nikolai Lamb, who was trying to find a 245 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 1: realistically proportioned Barbbie for his niece. UM quote, I thought 246 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: I'd be able to find one with realistic body proportions. 247 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: We put a man on the moon, and yes, he 248 00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 1: couldn't find one. So he went on to create and 249 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 1: sell more realistically proportioned Lamily dolls. Lamily dolls like that. 250 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 1: And when I, when I was younger, I it was 251 00:14:57,240 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: a bit of a chubbier kid for a while, I'll 252 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 1: and I had a very intense insecurity on my body 253 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:08,560 Speaker 1: and buying clothes. Going shopping was this huge stressful experience. 254 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,720 Speaker 1: So I would buy clothes that purposefully were too big, 255 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:17,520 Speaker 1: um because I didn't want to like bring attention to anything. 256 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,080 Speaker 1: And I also was I had a fear of like 257 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,960 Speaker 1: that moment when your mom is like does it fit 258 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 1: and you'd be like no, alright. So I'd always go 259 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,960 Speaker 1: up the size bigger, right. And I still catch myself 260 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,760 Speaker 1: thinking that I'm like a sausage encasing, you know what, 261 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,080 Speaker 1: I think about the whole ham um maybe the ham 262 00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 1: stream like it was that in a thirty Rock episode. 263 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,080 Speaker 1: I think that it was. And I have that same 264 00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:44,280 Speaker 1: fear because for me, I did the same thing. I 265 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,000 Speaker 1: was so self conscious of my legs and my hips 266 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,400 Speaker 1: and all of that that I would I didn't even 267 00:15:49,440 --> 00:15:52,640 Speaker 1: wear jeans or shorts for the longest time, like pretty 268 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,880 Speaker 1: much my first two years of college. All you would 269 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,720 Speaker 1: see me in some random like skirts, And when I 270 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:03,920 Speaker 1: say skirts, I'm talking to the floor and usually T shirts, 271 00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:07,520 Speaker 1: large T shirts um. And And part of that is 272 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,400 Speaker 1: the whole like I need to cover myself up. I 273 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: don't want to show anybody anything because I don't want 274 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 1: you to know what I have underneath, So I'm just 275 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 1: gonna fake it my way, something very very large. And 276 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,280 Speaker 1: you know, that's the whole ordeal with Billie Ellish, the 277 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 1: teen artist, and her phenomenon with her giant clothes, which 278 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 1: kind of throws me back to the early mid nineties 279 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 1: when we were wearing the jeans ten times bigger than you. 280 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: Don't talk about this, what were those of the Zico 281 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 1: I want to call the genas jenas. That's that's how old. 282 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,920 Speaker 1: I want to call it a name of a game. Um. 283 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: But yeah, that's her whole thing. It's like, I don't 284 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,920 Speaker 1: want people to ask about my body. I don't want 285 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,640 Speaker 1: them to know what I look like underneath. I don't 286 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,800 Speaker 1: want to be scrutinized for this or that, so therefore 287 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:50,720 Speaker 1: I hide it. And that's really a shame that it 288 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,960 Speaker 1: has to be that far, that people are so self 289 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 1: conscious in this young person who shouldn't even have to 290 00:16:58,360 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 1: have to worry about that, is now already making herself 291 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:05,800 Speaker 1: kind of um an influence, which is awesome by putting 292 00:17:05,840 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 1: on the statement I hate that and for me also 293 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 1: a part of the cult covering up with the whole 294 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:14,160 Speaker 1: fluctuation game, which is very common for people who are 295 00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 1: overly critical of themselves and constantly looking at their bodies. 296 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:19,400 Speaker 1: This whole back and forth and back and forth, whether 297 00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:23,440 Speaker 1: it's because of their um bad habits with food, and 298 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:26,480 Speaker 1: healthy habits with food, and healthy habits with exercising and 299 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:31,160 Speaker 1: healthy habits of just mental health stuff, the whole fluctuation game. 300 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,440 Speaker 1: And for me it was like, Okay, I'm just gonna 301 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 1: keep it really big so that I can no one. 302 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:39,600 Speaker 1: Maybe we'll ever tell it was the whole thing, and 303 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: we'll get into more of this whole thing, but first 304 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,359 Speaker 1: we're gonna pause for a quick break for word from 305 00:17:44,400 --> 00:18:02,639 Speaker 1: our sponsor. We're back, Thank you sponsor. Okay, So, most 306 00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: clothing lines don't sell above a size twelve, and a 307 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 1: lot of them don't sell above a size ten here 308 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 1: in the US. I know sizing is different in other countries, 309 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,320 Speaker 1: um and some have changed that. Some of these clothing 310 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 1: lines have changed that after a highly publicized report came 311 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:21,720 Speaker 1: out with the headline that the average American woman is 312 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:26,000 Speaker 1: a size fourteen, but even that was outdated because a 313 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:30,120 Speaker 1: newer report found the average American woman is between sizes 314 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:34,320 Speaker 1: fourteen and size sixteen. And yeah, just in case you 315 00:18:34,359 --> 00:18:37,399 Speaker 1: didn't know. Sizes for women here in the US are 316 00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:42,800 Speaker 1: very confusing. Clot standardized right, and it's called to what store? Yeah, 317 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:46,639 Speaker 1: I mean even sometimes the like brand I think I 318 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,800 Speaker 1: know of this brand of size whatever is this? No 319 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:53,560 Speaker 1: no UM? And there have been past episodes on it, 320 00:18:54,119 --> 00:18:56,240 Speaker 1: so check those out if you want to know more. Basically, 321 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 1: you really have no idea what's going on in your hell. 322 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,120 Speaker 1: Shopping is a personal help for me. I'm pretty sure 323 00:19:03,119 --> 00:19:06,720 Speaker 1: it's like level slicks of purgatory. I can't stand it. 324 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,119 Speaker 1: I'd love ordering online because of that, but there's a 325 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,880 Speaker 1: good chance that if it doesn't fit, it's just gonna 326 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,440 Speaker 1: be sitting in the corner because I don't even want 327 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:17,840 Speaker 1: to deal with sending get back that. See. That's another 328 00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,960 Speaker 1: thing that I read UM is tricky because I mean, 329 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,560 Speaker 1: I should say, I'm not necessarily in this group we're 330 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,520 Speaker 1: talking about UM, so I don't have or at least 331 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 1: I don't have the same current experience. But I when 332 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 1: I was reading about it, I read that UM shopping 333 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 1: online can be tricky. It is for all of us, really, 334 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:38,720 Speaker 1: but that there are almost no models outside the thin 335 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,760 Speaker 1: range on most mainstream clothing sites, and it's just really 336 00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 1: hard to say where things will lay. If you're not 337 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,320 Speaker 1: you have to review, like you have to um base 338 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,080 Speaker 1: your decision a lot on the reviews as well as 339 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:56,000 Speaker 1: there has to be disclaimed. There's disclaimers. Oftentimes it says 340 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:59,920 Speaker 1: fit actual fit or not not to not too fit, 341 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:03,000 Speaker 1: so they say if you typically medium, go up aside, 342 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,159 Speaker 1: like it's it's that level, and why can't it just 343 00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,960 Speaker 1: be upsize? Then? Right, you're basically rolling the dice. And 344 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 1: I love how Amazon has that thing and it's like 345 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,600 Speaker 1: right right, you just kind of sit there like, wait, 346 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 1: how's that? Then? Why? Just why? Then they have to 347 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,400 Speaker 1: give you a chart and even that chart is all 348 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 1: over the place. Yeah, well, I mean the chart is 349 00:20:24,119 --> 00:20:26,280 Speaker 1: depending on the fact that you'll go and measure yourself, right, 350 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,639 Speaker 1: which I will not do. I try to avoid it. 351 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:33,080 Speaker 1: I try to avoid it. UM trend to your clothes 352 00:20:33,119 --> 00:20:35,159 Speaker 1: often don't common a size above large, Like if we're 353 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,040 Speaker 1: looking at small, medium, right, A lot of them don't 354 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 1: go beyond that. The whole new um what is it? 355 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: Clothing in a box? People get send you those. Yes, 356 00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,879 Speaker 1: that's become a new phenomenon, which is fantastic, But I 357 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:49,919 Speaker 1: know there's only very few for women who are plus size, 358 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,320 Speaker 1: and very few who are actually cute clothes and that 359 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:56,800 Speaker 1: could actually fit, which is really absurd because rock some 360 00:20:56,960 --> 00:21:00,960 Speaker 1: things that booty get it. Yeah, I have one of those, 361 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,920 Speaker 1: and I love it. But I have so many friends 362 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:04,399 Speaker 1: who've tried it because they know I have it, and 363 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 1: they're like, oh, yes, I'll let me test it out, 364 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,520 Speaker 1: and they can't. They have a hard time finding something 365 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 1: that fits right. Not only that, but also the cost 366 00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 1: of it. Oh yeah, like and and for some reason, 367 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 1: as you had said earlier, and we've had episodes before 368 00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:20,159 Speaker 1: the fact that they charge you more even though the 369 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 1: actual labor doesn't cost that much more. Yeah, and the 370 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 1: fabric doesn't cost that much more, which is what I 371 00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: had assumed must be the reasoning, But from what I 372 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: read it, it really doesn't um. And some take issue 373 00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:37,040 Speaker 1: with the use of plus size since so many of 374 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:40,960 Speaker 1: us fall in that fourteen to sixteen range, which is 375 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 1: would be called plus size, and that is the average 376 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:48,600 Speaker 1: as it were, and some think it's insulting or demoralized. 377 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:51,480 Speaker 1: Is absolutely has its own section, right, I mean, when 378 00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 1: you go into different department stores or even its own store, 379 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,840 Speaker 1: why what is there a need to segregate in shopping. 380 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:01,360 Speaker 1: That seems so unnecessary in generals. Alight already buy sizes 381 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:06,359 Speaker 1: everywhere anyway, so add another step? Come on? Yeah? Yeah, 382 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:09,520 Speaker 1: and I read people just like seeing that big sign 383 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,879 Speaker 1: and where you have to go right, and then I 384 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,160 Speaker 1: love it because it's also oftentimes next to the maternity sizes. 385 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,440 Speaker 1: Come on, come on, who's gonna buy clothes? Not buying that? 386 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,399 Speaker 1: I I had a really bad experience when I was younger. 387 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,520 Speaker 1: Where is somebody eltive mine told me I should shop 388 00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 1: at the maternity ward and it really loved the mark. 389 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 1: I can see why you don't want to go home 390 00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:37,760 Speaker 1: when things go I get it now. He's usually not invited, 391 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:43,080 Speaker 1: or I think, but um. In an up ed piece 392 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:47,879 Speaker 1: from seventeen, Tim Gunn wrote, it's a puzzling conundrum. The 393 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,760 Speaker 1: average American woman now wears between the size sixteen and 394 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,240 Speaker 1: a size eighteen. According to new research from Washington State University, 395 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:57,200 Speaker 1: there are one hundred million plus size women in America, 396 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:01,639 Speaker 1: but many designers, dripping with disdain lacking imagination, are simply 397 00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,879 Speaker 1: too cowardly to take a risk. Still refused to make 398 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,719 Speaker 1: clothes for them. Yeah, and as you said, it can 399 00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,840 Speaker 1: be noted ten years ago, the plus size range used 400 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,479 Speaker 1: to be twelve to eighteen, and now it spans from 401 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:16,920 Speaker 1: six to fourteen, So six is now can be included 402 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:20,000 Speaker 1: in a lot of plus size ideas. And added that 403 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:23,480 Speaker 1: again statistically, about half the American female where the size 404 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:27,440 Speaker 1: fourteen or more as you were talking. So now to 405 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 1: add more shame, we're looking beyond the plus size or 406 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,000 Speaker 1: a big chunk of our population. So we've added more 407 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:36,160 Speaker 1: and more of the smaller sizes to that plus size range, 408 00:23:36,359 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 1: but also shrinked it, made it smaller. Yes, just find 409 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,840 Speaker 1: a new word, um, and to down to fourteen. And 410 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 1: that's not even within that same as which we talked 411 00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,800 Speaker 1: about being fourteen to eighteen as the new plus size 412 00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,840 Speaker 1: and having half that half that population be in that category. 413 00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:56,639 Speaker 1: What is that absurdity that, even though we're becoming more 414 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,239 Speaker 1: and more aware, is still more and more ostracizing than 415 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: it was ten years ago. Yeah, yeah, that does really 416 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,240 Speaker 1: makes sense. And and something else that confused me. It 417 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,040 Speaker 1: puzzled me when I read it. Um, the women's clothing 418 00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:14,200 Speaker 1: market is worth about one billion dollars, and yet plus 419 00:24:14,240 --> 00:24:17,399 Speaker 1: size clothing only accounts for sixteen per cent of that, 420 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:20,720 Speaker 1: even though half like you said, like, the average woman 421 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:24,480 Speaker 1: is size sixteen. UM, that doesn't make sense to me. 422 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:28,280 Speaker 1: It doesn't mathematically right, I mean, and that's becoming a 423 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 1: norm as we're talking about normalized ideas. Why aren't we 424 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,200 Speaker 1: Why is in our environment changing with that? Like it's 425 00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:40,840 Speaker 1: seemingly accepting it more. It's okay, let's say it's easier 426 00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:46,119 Speaker 1: to celebrate that, but not necessarily. We don't see society, 427 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:51,120 Speaker 1: society moving without the industry moving with that unless you're Nike, which, hey, 428 00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,800 Speaker 1: good job Nike. You know I'm talking about right that 429 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,880 Speaker 1: the sports promise, no, the whole um, whole athletic give 430 00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,359 Speaker 1: and they're they're starting to promote more more um plus 431 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:06,160 Speaker 1: size or average size now we can say um people 432 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 1: in there. And there's been this huge controversy back and 433 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,960 Speaker 1: forth with the fat shaming about why is Nike public 434 00:25:12,080 --> 00:25:15,880 Speaker 1: you know, celebrating this, publishing this, and everybody's like, wait, 435 00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:19,080 Speaker 1: what if they're trying to if people are plus size 436 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 1: who you think are bigger and they're doing more and 437 00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:27,200 Speaker 1: more exercise, but why is that a bad thing? Yeah? Yeah, 438 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 1: that's the whole People are so judgmental when it comes 439 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,119 Speaker 1: to weights, and you know what, for me, when I exercise, 440 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,320 Speaker 1: if I have cute clothes on, it motivates me more. 441 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:39,160 Speaker 1: Having the right gear to do that type of exercise, 442 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:41,800 Speaker 1: I'm more motivated to do it. Yeah, And just like 443 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:45,320 Speaker 1: the comfort of it. If you're uncomfortable because something doesn't 444 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:47,560 Speaker 1: fit you, well, I will say yeah. For the longest time, 445 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,600 Speaker 1: I would not exercise because I was scared of being 446 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 1: seen at a gym doing something. Yeah. Yeah. I I 447 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:55,760 Speaker 1: was the same way, and I know most of my 448 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,280 Speaker 1: female friends were the same way. Because you feel like 449 00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: you're being judged right, and you probably and you probably 450 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 1: are no matter what, And so you want something that 451 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 1: you feel good in, like an armor, right, so you 452 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:12,280 Speaker 1: can shrug that all right? Screw you haters. The official 453 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 1: or screw you haters of five major brands examines with 454 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:20,399 Speaker 1: a total of five hundred brands um. Within those so 455 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:25,359 Speaker 1: like major clothing lines undred brands, only two of the 456 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:30,320 Speaker 1: clothing was plus size. Yeah. In an article from a 457 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,040 Speaker 1: fast company, Alexandra Waldman of Women's Where Daily said, if 458 00:26:34,119 --> 00:26:36,640 Speaker 1: we are still talking about a plus size market ten 459 00:26:36,720 --> 00:26:39,880 Speaker 1: years from now, we have failed. And from what I read, 460 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 1: there are no clothes are very very little clothes designed 461 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:49,160 Speaker 1: specifically for the average sized woman. There are plus size 462 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:51,640 Speaker 1: clothes and then clothes designed with skinny women in mind 463 00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:55,440 Speaker 1: that are then scaled up and so that that means 464 00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:57,400 Speaker 1: the waist to breast ratio and the waist to hip 465 00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,920 Speaker 1: ratio don't change. They are eysed up, but they do 466 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:04,800 Speaker 1: in like the human body. Right, and those that are 467 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:09,920 Speaker 1: appropriately sized up are more expensive. Right. Women's Wear Daily 468 00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:14,440 Speaker 1: calls sizes ten to sixteen the black hole. Too thin 469 00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 1: for plus size, too big for regular. Right. If you 470 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,440 Speaker 1: think about the whole um modeling industry, Top Model. I 471 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,240 Speaker 1: used to watch that way back when, and that was 472 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:25,200 Speaker 1: a lot of the conversation. Like one of the big 473 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,399 Speaker 1: things is if you came in the plus size, great, 474 00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,920 Speaker 1: but if you started losing weight, they started criticizing you 475 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,880 Speaker 1: left and right. I remember watching a couple of miles. 476 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,560 Speaker 1: They were like, either you need to lose another fifty 477 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,960 Speaker 1: pounds or you need to keep that extra ten fifteen 478 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:41,399 Speaker 1: pounds that you're losing. And it was shaming them in 479 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,800 Speaker 1: front of a panel like you're not fat enough again 480 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 1: once again, and you're being too normal and no one 481 00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:50,600 Speaker 1: wants to see normal. Oh that gives me anxiety, right, right, 482 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,280 Speaker 1: And just watching that you're like, what is happening? And 483 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,960 Speaker 1: then then being accepted as that's okay to say that, 484 00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,240 Speaker 1: and people accepted it, and I was like, this is 485 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,680 Speaker 1: a competition, and you're like, wait, but why how does 486 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:07,280 Speaker 1: this make sense? Right? Man? That hurt my heart. I know. 487 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,240 Speaker 1: Right when it comes to formal clothes, finding something that 488 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:14,560 Speaker 1: fits and looks well, it's an issue onto itself. I 489 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:19,840 Speaker 1: read a lot of that, Um yeah, problem dress shopping 490 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 1: with such a nightmare. Bridesmaid shopping. Yeah, I've been. I 491 00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:26,320 Speaker 1: will say I've been in like ten to fifteen weddings. 492 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,240 Speaker 1: It's really bad. Too many friends. I think they like 493 00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,320 Speaker 1: to torture me because I've refused. Since then, I'm like, 494 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 1: I will not be a bridesmaid. Don't ask me if 495 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:35,320 Speaker 1: you want me to be friends with you, don't ask 496 00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,240 Speaker 1: me again. I wasn't gonna be really fun and I 497 00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,680 Speaker 1: get to be really, really really in a fun place 498 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:43,240 Speaker 1: and I don't have to wear anything constricting. Or it's 499 00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 1: been lots of money then maybe because I spent a 500 00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:51,440 Speaker 1: lot of money my early after college years on bridesmaid Yes, anyway, 501 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,640 Speaker 1: but if you look at all of that, I remember 502 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,800 Speaker 1: going being compared to because I would say I'm five 503 00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 1: four and I'm definitely on the thicker side. Um. And 504 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,200 Speaker 1: I've always been on the thicker side on the girl 505 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:04,880 Speaker 1: with a fast as I said, yes all day, um. 506 00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:08,280 Speaker 1: But like watching being in the same room with a 507 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 1: person who was a size two or three and having 508 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,440 Speaker 1: to try the same dress on as though that is 509 00:29:13,480 --> 00:29:18,840 Speaker 1: one of the most demoralizing moment and everybody's like it 510 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,680 Speaker 1: looks so nice, Oh my Goshly, and you know, they're like, 511 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:23,480 Speaker 1: you get in your head, like you're allowing to me. 512 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:26,000 Speaker 1: You're making me look like I'm in a potato sack, 513 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:30,880 Speaker 1: and I hate you. But that's the thing, I mean, 514 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,000 Speaker 1: even with all of that, in comparison to when you 515 00:29:34,120 --> 00:29:36,200 Speaker 1: look at everyone else and you're standing next to everyone 516 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:40,880 Speaker 1: whilse in the same damn dress. Yeah, that's a good point. 517 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,720 Speaker 1: I hadn't thought about that, because of course it's not 518 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:48,000 Speaker 1: going to fit everyone the same. That's a good point, Ugly. 519 00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:53,120 Speaker 1: I don't like you. You're the vague you out there. 520 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,840 Speaker 1: He might write her to apprise me thing. Uh. And 521 00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 1: then there's the problem with a sense to waste, which 522 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 1: most clothes cinch where the natural waste is, which is 523 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:07,680 Speaker 1: typically determined by where that would fall on a skinny person, 524 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,040 Speaker 1: and when you are not a skinny person, this can 525 00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 1: lead to some very unflattering and ill flitting clothes. And 526 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,600 Speaker 1: I will say for me, um, very difficult to zip 527 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 1: as a single lady. The single lady struggle of a dress. 528 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,360 Speaker 1: I told you about the Amazon thing. I put it 529 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:29,160 Speaker 1: on my birthday wishes, the Amazon gadget that helps us 530 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 1: up your own dress. And also that's the one thing 531 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:34,800 Speaker 1: about clipping your bracelet or your jewelry. You knew that 532 00:30:35,000 --> 00:30:36,480 Speaker 1: I did. I did. I saw that when I was 533 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:40,080 Speaker 1: it came up as like customers. Also, hey, look, thanks 534 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 1: technology for allowing me to be single, for allowing me 535 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:48,440 Speaker 1: to do more than I ever thought possible. Um. And 536 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:50,760 Speaker 1: then this is something I've heard from a lot of 537 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:54,160 Speaker 1: my my friends. The bikini are not bikini problem when 538 00:30:54,200 --> 00:30:56,959 Speaker 1: it comes to swimwear. Uh. And they told me if 539 00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,959 Speaker 1: you wear one piece that they feel like people assume 540 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:03,040 Speaker 1: it's because yourself conscious, which you might be, but you 541 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,440 Speaker 1: also might prefer the comfort and not having to worry 542 00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:07,480 Speaker 1: about your breasts, which might be on the bigger side 543 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,960 Speaker 1: spilling out. And I have had one my band bus 544 00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:15,480 Speaker 1: that not one, but two amusement parks on a bikini, 545 00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:19,920 Speaker 1: so I understand the words, oh gosh, it was not good. 546 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:23,000 Speaker 1: One of them got sucked in like it was a 547 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 1: water slide and right at the bottom of the top 548 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:31,640 Speaker 1: cuts sucked out the day What that is how to 549 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,880 Speaker 1: go literally like a nerd comedy from the nineteen eight 550 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:39,440 Speaker 1: or they actually do that on purpose with the hot girls. 551 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,840 Speaker 1: But it's pretty much discussing like I'm sure always trying 552 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,000 Speaker 1: to do that essentially, I mean, yeah, they're trying to 553 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:48,400 Speaker 1: do that, um and yeah, this whole this isn't even 554 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:52,480 Speaker 1: mentioning the difficulty of finding something that fits um or 555 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,640 Speaker 1: if you go the bikini route, two pieces that fit, 556 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,040 Speaker 1: especially when those pieces are sold together as one set 557 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,960 Speaker 1: in your body might not work. I do appreciate the 558 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:04,120 Speaker 1: new mix and match idea that has been fantastic, and 559 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,880 Speaker 1: with that we can actually add this stigma of wearing 560 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 1: too much on the beach if you start thinking about 561 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,960 Speaker 1: the bark up bating suit or the barkini. Heidazaniti was 562 00:32:12,080 --> 00:32:15,240 Speaker 1: credited with inventing the barkini in two thousand four and 563 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:18,320 Speaker 1: was featured this year on Sports illustraated with a lot 564 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: of criticism and backlash and even with banned by many 565 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:25,000 Speaker 1: public areas, which is so absurd. So and and we 566 00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:29,840 Speaker 1: already know there's been so many videos, YouTube videos and 567 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:35,840 Speaker 1: um Facebook videos of people being scrutinized and criticized and 568 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,800 Speaker 1: even shamed off a beach for having this on. It's 569 00:32:39,840 --> 00:32:41,800 Speaker 1: kind of like, what is this upsturdy to to the 570 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:44,880 Speaker 1: Islamic culture? This is normal, It's not a bad thing. 571 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 1: How can it be too little or too much? What 572 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:53,640 Speaker 1: is wrong with you? We cannot twin cannot win UM. 573 00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 1: In modeling, women in the invisible eight to twelve sized 574 00:32:57,720 --> 00:33:00,640 Speaker 1: ranger called ultra and female consumer and that range are 575 00:33:00,720 --> 00:33:03,640 Speaker 1: called rat queens because they are just expected to buy 576 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,360 Speaker 1: clothes even though they rarely see their size represented in 577 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:10,360 Speaker 1: fashion shows or marketing materials. And a good portion of 578 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,960 Speaker 1: design schools don't even have mannequins outside of sample sizes 579 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:20,280 Speaker 1: for their students to learn to design for. So not 580 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,960 Speaker 1: a lot of that is great, UM, but we do 581 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 1: we do have some more for you, But first we 582 00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,920 Speaker 1: have one more quick break for word from our sponsor, 583 00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:47,640 Speaker 1: and we're back, Thank you, sponsor. And so one of 584 00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:51,840 Speaker 1: the things we wanted to touch on is this is 585 00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 1: kind of hard to talk about without offending people are 586 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,760 Speaker 1: gonna make some people and it's gonna be all about 587 00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:04,920 Speaker 1: the fact that we're not necessarily giving an opinion. But 588 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,960 Speaker 1: as much as like these are some of the conversations 589 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:13,120 Speaker 1: that are had, and it's it's too all. It's two 590 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,480 Speaker 1: thousand nineteen at least the fact we have to be 591 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,360 Speaker 1: honest about the fact that it is a conversation and 592 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: then it affects us on a daily light a basis. Yeah. Yeah, 593 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 1: and um, like we mentioned earlier, a lot of people 594 00:34:25,239 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 1: do feel that they there's some morality or that they 595 00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:37,879 Speaker 1: can judge people around weight, right, and it goes both ways. Yeah, 596 00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:39,800 Speaker 1: and I think um. One of the things that we 597 00:34:39,880 --> 00:34:41,960 Speaker 1: want to talk about was also about the b m I, 598 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,560 Speaker 1: which is the body mass index and which has been 599 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:49,400 Speaker 1: used a little more than just your typical weight skilled 600 00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,279 Speaker 1: type of thing. But as we were researching in and 601 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,840 Speaker 1: as many people already know, the idea of the simple 602 00:34:54,880 --> 00:34:57,040 Speaker 1: b m I is nice enough, but actually just a 603 00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:00,080 Speaker 1: quick assessment and it doesn't tell the whole story. It 604 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,000 Speaker 1: doesn't look at the whole picture, such as fat versus muscle. 605 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,960 Speaker 1: For example, UM elderly may show a normal b m I, 606 00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:09,399 Speaker 1: but because the lack of body muscle or body mass, 607 00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 1: it actually is an inaccurate assessment in comparison to what's 608 00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,200 Speaker 1: going on with our body. A lot of factors outside 609 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,880 Speaker 1: the simple numbers should also be noted, such as body 610 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:21,319 Speaker 1: type or age, and even ethnicity can come into play 611 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:23,520 Speaker 1: when you come into the research. I mean, as an 612 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,840 Speaker 1: Asian person, apparently I may have a little more in 613 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:32,520 Speaker 1: longevity than a white person. Sorry any but again, this 614 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:35,040 Speaker 1: is a lot of assumptions and factors and just the 615 00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:39,000 Speaker 1: generalization and overall and statistics. So once it can when 616 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,920 Speaker 1: we come and talk about statistics, it doesn't always come 617 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:45,000 Speaker 1: obviously to the individual person, so that should be noted 618 00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,120 Speaker 1: as well. And according to the researchers, people who are 619 00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:51,600 Speaker 1: a bit overweight have higher survival rates. I'm gonna live forever, 620 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,520 Speaker 1: just say so. Even research can't can't really pinpoint what 621 00:35:56,719 --> 00:35:59,840 Speaker 1: normal is without measurements, without all the different factors for 622 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,640 Speaker 1: the individual person. So remember that if you're going because 623 00:36:02,680 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 1: I know people who go work out have personal trainers 624 00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:07,840 Speaker 1: do all this b and my things. Even though they 625 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:11,960 Speaker 1: may have training and certifications, they don't necessarily know what 626 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:15,960 Speaker 1: is best in your body. Yeah, Bobby's bodies are complicated 627 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,960 Speaker 1: that are very, very very complicated. Yeah, and we wanted 628 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:23,640 Speaker 1: to touch on something that I think we both struggled with, 629 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:26,040 Speaker 1: probably a lot of us to have struggled with. Um 630 00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:33,400 Speaker 1: is the difficulty around congratulating someone for losing weight right, 631 00:36:33,680 --> 00:36:36,359 Speaker 1: because well, I mean, for one thing, you're you might 632 00:36:36,440 --> 00:36:38,480 Speaker 1: not be sure why they lost the weight, right, It 633 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,239 Speaker 1: could have been it could be an illness or something. Um. 634 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,960 Speaker 1: So there's that, but it comes up a lot for 635 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,960 Speaker 1: us because we get asked for sponsorships around nutrition and exercise, 636 00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:53,319 Speaker 1: and typical language used around women doing that is basically right. 637 00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,160 Speaker 1: It's so tricky to have a conversation about body without 638 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:58,960 Speaker 1: the double edged sort of being encouraging as well as damaging. 639 00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:01,279 Speaker 1: And I think for me, I have played the weight 640 00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,680 Speaker 1: game all of my life. I've been in a lot 641 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,640 Speaker 1: of hard work of exercising and being overly conscious of 642 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:09,600 Speaker 1: food choices and losing weight and feeling proud of that. 643 00:37:10,080 --> 00:37:12,080 Speaker 1: But I'm also the one to quickly gain it back 644 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:14,319 Speaker 1: and feel the shame of trying to cover it up 645 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,279 Speaker 1: and not notice the faces of people who have been 646 00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:20,200 Speaker 1: previously complimenting me to the obvious change in conversation. And 647 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:23,000 Speaker 1: I would say when I had a very massive weight 648 00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:26,960 Speaker 1: loss was due to my depression and anxiety and medication, 649 00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:30,359 Speaker 1: and right now there are things happening with that body. 650 00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:32,520 Speaker 1: I'm starting to think maybe there's styroid issues or whatever 651 00:37:32,640 --> 00:37:36,160 Speaker 1: that I'm like, I'm getting concerned because it's so abnormal. 652 00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,360 Speaker 1: But this is the last few years I've shown a 653 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,200 Speaker 1: lot of like fluctuation for me. So there's this whole 654 00:37:41,320 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 1: shame factor as well as feeling encouraged because I do 655 00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:48,759 Speaker 1: work hard to maintain Now. When I was a lot younger, 656 00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:51,560 Speaker 1: I was a lot heavier UM, and I also worked 657 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:55,520 Speaker 1: in a really high stress field, so that alone added 658 00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:58,760 Speaker 1: even more. And we know that stress can it's stress 659 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,560 Speaker 1: and lack of sleep. All of that does UM add 660 00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:05,600 Speaker 1: to weight fluctuation as well as health problems just in 661 00:38:05,719 --> 00:38:08,840 Speaker 1: general health problems, But there are so many things to 662 00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:11,759 Speaker 1: this that I've had friends who have worked really, really 663 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:14,760 Speaker 1: hard to become healthier because they were either pre diabetic 664 00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:17,560 Speaker 1: or a hard issues. As we're talking about UM, that 665 00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:21,480 Speaker 1: included changing their body type and also their confidence. So 666 00:38:21,719 --> 00:38:23,799 Speaker 1: at the same time, for those who I know really well, 667 00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:28,920 Speaker 1: they asked to be encouraged to continue that. Again, we 668 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,160 Speaker 1: talked about the fact that it is a fine line. 669 00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:34,880 Speaker 1: And also it's none of your damn business what their 670 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:37,719 Speaker 1: body looks like. That's the other part. How do you 671 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,840 Speaker 1: get back the old trope of this is what you 672 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,360 Speaker 1: should look like, So we should complement to encourage versus 673 00:38:42,680 --> 00:38:46,759 Speaker 1: just leave it be. Yeah. But at the same time, 674 00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:51,279 Speaker 1: if someone feels like things such as eating programs may 675 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:56,719 Speaker 1: be helpful, how are we to say not to do that? Yeah? 676 00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:01,279 Speaker 1: But again it is tricky because it's the autonomy of 677 00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:05,520 Speaker 1: individual bodies and that's what we fight for, right, But 678 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:10,399 Speaker 1: how do we also encourage health? Yeah, because we want 679 00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:14,840 Speaker 1: to celebrate all body types and promote body positivity. We 680 00:39:14,920 --> 00:39:17,120 Speaker 1: want to support folks who want to build healthy habits, 681 00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:21,040 Speaker 1: who want to be healthier for themselves. And there can 682 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:26,200 Speaker 1: be attention there because there are genetics involved, their societal 683 00:39:26,239 --> 00:39:28,600 Speaker 1: pressures involved, there's billions of dollars in the diet and 684 00:39:28,719 --> 00:39:33,600 Speaker 1: fitness industry involved. So it's hard. And I can say 685 00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:37,480 Speaker 1: personally for me, I have a friend who has lost 686 00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,560 Speaker 1: a lot of weight and I don't think she's done 687 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:45,120 Speaker 1: it healthily. And it's just hard because we're so programmed 688 00:39:45,160 --> 00:39:48,279 Speaker 1: to think thinner is better, You've done a good job, 689 00:39:49,680 --> 00:39:52,640 Speaker 1: and not healthier is better, and so I don't know. 690 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:57,520 Speaker 1: I'm having a really hard time handling what I should 691 00:39:57,560 --> 00:39:59,880 Speaker 1: say to her, and you have you and I have 692 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,400 Speaker 1: to how many conversations about how we want to represent 693 00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:06,320 Speaker 1: ourselves and be transparent as well as maintained balance. And 694 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:08,799 Speaker 1: I think it's difficult because we're all learning to love 695 00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:11,080 Speaker 1: who we are and how we are at the same time, 696 00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:13,080 Speaker 1: we want to make sure we have a balance between 697 00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:18,319 Speaker 1: that and honesty. And for me, sometimes loving myself does 698 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:25,240 Speaker 1: not necessarily include ah food related things and or exercise 699 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,719 Speaker 1: relating things like I know that there's something wrong with 700 00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,120 Speaker 1: me if I haven't exercise in over a week, and 701 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,000 Speaker 1: I mean along the lines of depression because a part 702 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:34,840 Speaker 1: of my motivation and part of my stress relieve is 703 00:40:34,920 --> 00:40:36,800 Speaker 1: because of this. And also it's a part of my 704 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:41,040 Speaker 1: social outing. I know that's really odd, but I get 705 00:40:41,600 --> 00:40:44,400 Speaker 1: down sometimes and I'm really awkward, and I'm an introvert 706 00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:46,759 Speaker 1: to the core, Like I'm really great when I have 707 00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,759 Speaker 1: to be on, but if I don't shut off, I 708 00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:51,719 Speaker 1: may just crumble and with her and die. This has 709 00:40:51,760 --> 00:40:54,759 Speaker 1: been the theme today. You're welcome, um, But the fact 710 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:56,200 Speaker 1: is I get to go out and meet new people 711 00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,359 Speaker 1: starting new relationships through this different types of activities because 712 00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,440 Speaker 1: I love doing. Like I've talked about Cardio jam, I've 713 00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:05,080 Speaker 1: made some really good friends just dancing it out essentially. 714 00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:07,560 Speaker 1: Yeah you heard me dancing it out hip popping in 715 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:10,520 Speaker 1: out with my crew over you know, with the Marco 716 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,960 Speaker 1: and yeah, he's he's he's the instructor, he's my boy. 717 00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,040 Speaker 1: But like, we do a lot of things and they 718 00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:17,400 Speaker 1: know me to the point that if I'm not there 719 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,480 Speaker 1: for what we're like, are you okay? And that's a 720 00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:22,359 Speaker 1: legitimate question, not because I'm not exercised, not because I'm 721 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:25,759 Speaker 1: not you know whatever out there sweating, but because for 722 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:29,320 Speaker 1: me this is an outlet. But again, I know you 723 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,759 Speaker 1: have talked about having too much of that, and that 724 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:36,480 Speaker 1: is like, how do we become make sure that we 725 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,319 Speaker 1: are putting on a healthy perspective on both ways because 726 00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:42,600 Speaker 1: I also can't orate over drink like one of my 727 00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,839 Speaker 1: bad habits can be when I get really rushed. When 728 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,359 Speaker 1: I was starting out at de Facts, I was eating 729 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:50,560 Speaker 1: a lot of fast food. Believe me, that was not 730 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,280 Speaker 1: helping me at all. It did not help my sleep habits, 731 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,080 Speaker 1: It did not help my heart habit. You know, all 732 00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:57,600 Speaker 1: of that and that's kind of cost for concern as well. 733 00:41:57,680 --> 00:42:02,719 Speaker 1: I'm the easy out. So where is that balance? Yeah, yeah, 734 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:10,160 Speaker 1: it's it's honestly very difficult, I think because you don't 735 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:15,879 Speaker 1: want to enable bad habits and other people. Um, it's 736 00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:19,040 Speaker 1: just it's really tough. And another thing we did want 737 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:22,440 Speaker 1: to touch on briefly is something that we've kind of 738 00:42:22,520 --> 00:42:25,560 Speaker 1: mentioned is this moral judgment people feel entitled to make 739 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:30,200 Speaker 1: around people's weight. Um that maybe you're lazy or disgusting 740 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:33,279 Speaker 1: our are even the other way for for skinny people, 741 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:36,719 Speaker 1: like maybe you don't eat at all. Yeah, just these 742 00:42:36,800 --> 00:42:40,040 Speaker 1: kind of like snap judgments that we feel okay with 743 00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:44,239 Speaker 1: making a bound around usually in women's bodies, but everybody, Um, 744 00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:48,120 Speaker 1: you shouldn't be eating that. Um. Not only does that 745 00:42:48,200 --> 00:42:51,560 Speaker 1: directly impact self confidence for women that can reflect that 746 00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:54,280 Speaker 1: lack of self confidence can reflect in their clothing choices 747 00:42:54,400 --> 00:42:57,200 Speaker 1: like it did for Samantha and I, which can affect 748 00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,400 Speaker 1: how you are perceived professionally, like we talked about and 749 00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,840 Speaker 1: the make a portion of our routine episode. Um. I 750 00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,960 Speaker 1: think that also goes for the conversations not even directed 751 00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:10,400 Speaker 1: at us. I remember just hearing people who have perceived 752 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:14,319 Speaker 1: to be skinnier, prettier, um in much better shape than 753 00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,480 Speaker 1: I am, talking about how much they need to change 754 00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:18,400 Speaker 1: or need to lose more. And I took that as 755 00:43:18,440 --> 00:43:21,600 Speaker 1: a judgment about me, and I'm thinking, oh my god, 756 00:43:21,760 --> 00:43:24,279 Speaker 1: if they think they're skinny, they think they think they're fat, 757 00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,640 Speaker 1: how do they look at me, who is at least 758 00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:32,560 Speaker 1: twice you're with? And I'm also thinking that with kids. 759 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,600 Speaker 1: And I know we've talked about this a lot, and 760 00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,640 Speaker 1: I know there's a plenty of studies out there. How 761 00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:40,040 Speaker 1: we talk about watch your conversations and watch what you're 762 00:43:40,080 --> 00:43:43,080 Speaker 1: talking and how you're talking to your teens, your adolescents, 763 00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,680 Speaker 1: because you're teaching them. A happen as a nanny when 764 00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:48,680 Speaker 1: I was talking to my the mother of the kids 765 00:43:48,719 --> 00:43:51,480 Speaker 1: that are taken care of, she is this beautiful woman 766 00:43:51,800 --> 00:43:55,880 Speaker 1: in like amazingly fit, all of these things, had babies 767 00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,359 Speaker 1: and you would never know all of these things continually 768 00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,839 Speaker 1: talking about diet, contin you we're talking about not being 769 00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:03,600 Speaker 1: able to eat this continually county calories and her tin 770 00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:06,560 Speaker 1: At that time, I think eight year old was watching 771 00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:10,200 Speaker 1: her and doing the same thing and shaming her brothers 772 00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:14,160 Speaker 1: to try to make them like stop eating or reading 773 00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:15,680 Speaker 1: less and all of these things that are even talking 774 00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,480 Speaker 1: about their gut and all of these things. And I'm 775 00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:19,879 Speaker 1: thinking this is you have to be careful. And don't 776 00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:22,959 Speaker 1: get me wrong, the mother never said anything to the kids. 777 00:44:23,120 --> 00:44:25,040 Speaker 1: It wasn't like she was like, you're fat, don't do this, 778 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:26,640 Speaker 1: don't do that. It was just what they were hearing 779 00:44:26,719 --> 00:44:30,360 Speaker 1: from the mother, and who obviously is very very healthy, 780 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,759 Speaker 1: going overboard in that level, and I think that's part 781 00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,400 Speaker 1: of the problem we have, and now it's just the 782 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:42,000 Speaker 1: overall generalized conversations that we have. It pollutes everything around them. 783 00:44:42,320 --> 00:44:44,000 Speaker 1: So you have to be super careful. And I never 784 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:47,239 Speaker 1: for me sometimes I've talked with um many people, many women. 785 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:49,719 Speaker 1: We talked about counting calories, that it can be healthy 786 00:44:49,760 --> 00:44:53,919 Speaker 1: to one extent, but really really really like over the top. 787 00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:56,279 Speaker 1: And I get that way. I get competitive about I 788 00:44:56,360 --> 00:44:59,759 Speaker 1: can't eat this, I can't I can't this. But you 789 00:44:59,880 --> 00:45:01,200 Speaker 1: have have to have a balance. So I know you 790 00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:03,480 Speaker 1: were talking about the absolutely one of the apps that 791 00:45:03,560 --> 00:45:06,040 Speaker 1: you use actually told you you're not eating enough. Yeah, 792 00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:10,279 Speaker 1: it was like, I think it's three days go buying 793 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:14,120 Speaker 1: you don't eat enough. It said like, well, we won't 794 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:18,920 Speaker 1: let you add stuff to it anymore until you start eating. 795 00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:21,399 Speaker 1: You should be meeting this at least this many, which 796 00:45:21,440 --> 00:45:23,719 Speaker 1: is a good thing, which I really do appreciate because 797 00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:25,680 Speaker 1: that doesn't happen enough, and that gives a note sense 798 00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:28,160 Speaker 1: of moments that you gets kind of scared. I believe 799 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,640 Speaker 1: that's wy Weight Watchers changed over to their point system 800 00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,200 Speaker 1: because people were counting too much with that it was 801 00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:36,719 Speaker 1: kind of affecting them, and then it took off some 802 00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:40,719 Speaker 1: points for average things like fruit and vegetables, because those 803 00:45:40,760 --> 00:45:43,400 Speaker 1: are things that are necessary and shouldn't be accounted against you. 804 00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:46,840 Speaker 1: I believe. Yeah, not that I'm We're not We're not 805 00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,600 Speaker 1: sponsored by them, but I just I'm knowing like people, 806 00:45:49,920 --> 00:45:54,520 Speaker 1: I think things the industry slowly changing, not enough, obviously 807 00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:57,840 Speaker 1: not enough, but kind of taking that out of okay, 808 00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:01,719 Speaker 1: we need to learn about being healthy versus skinny. And 809 00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,120 Speaker 1: again this goes back to why are we talking about normal? 810 00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:08,360 Speaker 1: This is your normal. If you are healthy, happy, healthy, 811 00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:12,760 Speaker 1: and everything is good to go, that's normal. That's great. 812 00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,279 Speaker 1: And I think we talked about how the whole natural look. 813 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:18,320 Speaker 1: That's also different from everyone else as well, and that 814 00:46:18,360 --> 00:46:21,239 Speaker 1: shouldn't be judged based on anybody else's judgment. And this 815 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:23,600 Speaker 1: whole basis of this is what you need to be 816 00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:26,560 Speaker 1: and this is not what we could expect. It should 817 00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,840 Speaker 1: be thrown out the window because that's the whole perspective 818 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:32,719 Speaker 1: in ethnicity, in body type and gender, all of those 819 00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:35,320 Speaker 1: things should be out that window because the normal is 820 00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:38,359 Speaker 1: not normal anymore. And we which kind of talked about 821 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,920 Speaker 1: and trauma alone and the effects of trauma, and it 822 00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:44,160 Speaker 1: can come out into these specific things in fielding, like 823 00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,920 Speaker 1: you have to build up to a certain point of 824 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:51,600 Speaker 1: your body, a certain point of um sizes or looks 825 00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:56,840 Speaker 1: or whatever to justify or try to cover up past humiliations, 826 00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:02,280 Speaker 1: past hurts, past abuse is and that's kind of the problem, 827 00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:04,759 Speaker 1: is that that the reason there is no norm is 828 00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:11,720 Speaker 1: nobody has the same past. Yeah, Um, And I hope 829 00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:18,600 Speaker 1: that we'll see more, um good representations of all body 830 00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:22,960 Speaker 1: types and the industry will make more and I hope 831 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:26,000 Speaker 1: that more clothing that fits well looks well is designed 832 00:47:26,040 --> 00:47:30,240 Speaker 1: specifically for women in this whats so long been quote 833 00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:35,640 Speaker 1: a black hole. And um, I hope that for some 834 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:40,480 Speaker 1: people listening, maybe you realize you're a lot less alone 835 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:44,719 Speaker 1: than you thought you were, and just kind of wrap 836 00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,880 Speaker 1: it all up once again, there are people who actually 837 00:47:47,920 --> 00:47:51,319 Speaker 1: are out there showing and being good. Examples such as 838 00:47:52,280 --> 00:47:57,719 Speaker 1: media Killing Beyonce, Rihanna, Jamila, you did it, I don't, Jamila, 839 00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:02,480 Speaker 1: Jamilla Jamil. Those people are amazing and calling out the 840 00:48:02,520 --> 00:48:07,360 Speaker 1: stereotypes and the negativity and the Hollywood standards and media standards, 841 00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:10,759 Speaker 1: and that's fantastic. And I think with a lot of 842 00:48:10,880 --> 00:48:14,040 Speaker 1: our own insecurities that we just talked about, I just 843 00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:17,080 Speaker 1: I had to remembered times where I heard women or 844 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:20,400 Speaker 1: people who actually love themselves actually talked about how they 845 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:22,760 Speaker 1: feel good about their hair, they're feeling good about their outfit. 846 00:48:22,800 --> 00:48:25,120 Speaker 1: And my first thought was because seems kind of conceited, 847 00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:28,640 Speaker 1: But that's kind of a programmed idea in us that 848 00:48:28,760 --> 00:48:32,640 Speaker 1: we have to be humble, and being humble means being 849 00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:36,360 Speaker 1: really really hard on ourselves, and that's absurd. And for 850 00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:40,759 Speaker 1: those who got it, yeah girl, yeah, show it. You 851 00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:43,719 Speaker 1: got that booty, Yeah, show that thing off, you've got 852 00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:46,839 Speaker 1: the hair, tossed that up, show everybody what you've got, 853 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:50,520 Speaker 1: You've got the red lipstick, because that is amazing and 854 00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:53,560 Speaker 1: for many of us, when we have a good day, 855 00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:58,000 Speaker 1: embrace that day, love it, show it off. Kind of 856 00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,799 Speaker 1: like how Tina f A encouraged Britney Spears way back 857 00:49:00,800 --> 00:49:04,960 Speaker 1: at when in the SNL episode or SNL newsclip, she 858 00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:08,360 Speaker 1: was like, rub that thing with fine oils. Yeah, you 859 00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:12,160 Speaker 1: treat yourself and go ahead and love yourself and please 860 00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:15,200 Speaker 1: show that that's an influence thing. You're feeling good, you 861 00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:19,160 Speaker 1: need to take a selfie, go for it. Proud of you. 862 00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:23,680 Speaker 1: Teach me the ways. Yeah, I mean that is one 863 00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:26,120 Speaker 1: of the biggest pieces of advice you always see, is 864 00:49:26,320 --> 00:49:29,080 Speaker 1: like find something you love about yourself and you know, 865 00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:32,719 Speaker 1: at least in your own head and think, you know what, Yes, 866 00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:35,520 Speaker 1: today my eyes look very nice. So Annie, Yes, tell 867 00:49:35,560 --> 00:49:38,719 Speaker 1: me something that you like about yourself today. I love 868 00:49:39,400 --> 00:49:45,160 Speaker 1: my eyes, yes, and they're twinkling. I love my skin. 869 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:49,120 Speaker 1: There you go. Yes, that brings us to the end 870 00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:52,640 Speaker 1: of this episode. Um, we would love to hear hear 871 00:49:52,719 --> 00:49:56,560 Speaker 1: from people about your your woes or triumphs when it 872 00:49:56,640 --> 00:50:01,360 Speaker 1: comes to clothing and shopping. Um. You can email us 873 00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:03,719 Speaker 1: at Stuff Media, mom Stuff at iHeart media dot com. 874 00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:06,520 Speaker 1: You can find us on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast 875 00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,640 Speaker 1: and on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told You. Thanks 876 00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:13,160 Speaker 1: as always to our super producer Andrew Howard and July Andrews. 877 00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:16,359 Speaker 1: Thanks to you for listening stuff I never told these. 878 00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:19,040 Speaker 1: Production of iHeartRadio is how Stuff Works. For more podcast 879 00:50:19,080 --> 00:50:21,080 Speaker 1: from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, 880 00:50:21,120 --> 00:50:23,360 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.