Speaker 1: What's up, you guys. This week we have on Natalie Alcala,
Speaker 1: the founder of Fashion Mamas, the first and leading members
Speaker 1: only community for diverse mothers in creative and dynamic industries.
Speaker 2: On this week's episode, you can expect to hear her
Speaker 2: talk about how she created her international platform for like
Speaker 2: minded mamas around the world.
Speaker 1: How partying and being a mom aren't mutually exclusive, and
Speaker 1: that your past doesn't define you.
Speaker 2: Couples therapy, self sabotage in new relationships.
Speaker 1: Facing your inner child, and sding. Yeah, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to stick around because we didn't know what the fuck
Speaker 1: that was either. And also, you guys, we just announced
Speaker 1: that we rescheduled our LA live show. It's no longer
Speaker 1: in LA. It's for everybody. Yep, it's a virtual live show,
Speaker 1: you guys. And this day your normal zoom call no no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, this is a moother fucking move v Okay.
Speaker 1: This show is about to be so fire. So if
Speaker 1: you've been wanting to come to our live show but
Speaker 1: you don't didn't live in LA, you didn't live in Atlanta,
Speaker 1: this is the time to buy your tickets. We are
Speaker 1: going to be doing the show on February thirteenth, so
Speaker 1: make sure you click the link in the details of
Speaker 1: this episode and get those tickets.
Speaker 2: Also, don't forget to click the link in the description
Speaker 2: for our full moon ceremony on January twenty eighth. That's right,
Speaker 2: join us in a virtual full moon ceremony that comes
Speaker 2: with a VIP box that's offered exclusively on Post twenty
Speaker 2: one shop dot com. Get your manifestation on y'all.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica, I'm Nila,
Speaker 1: and it's Wednesday.
Speaker 3: Happy hump Day, y'all.
Speaker 1: Happy hump Day. So, as you guys know, we are
Speaker 1: now starting off our episodes pulling a card out out
Speaker 1: of our tarot deck. So let's just get into it
Speaker 1: because it is a new moon baby in Capricorn and
Speaker 1: I'm trying to see what's it. Let's see that sound professional? Okay?
Speaker 1: We have the three of wands, three of wands, and
Speaker 1: this looks like a car. So the guy has his
Speaker 1: wands and he's his back is facing me and he's
Speaker 1: looking out into the ocean. It looks like he's looking
Speaker 1: at some ships sailing away or something. So what does
Speaker 1: it mean? Tell me what it means?
Speaker 2: Me la okay, So the upright three of wands is okay. So.
Speaker 2: While the two of lands speaks to planning for the
Speaker 2: future from a place of safety and comfort, the three
Speaker 2: of wands shows that your plans are now well underway
Speaker 2: and you are considering even more opportunities to expand your
Speaker 2: current strategy and maximize your ultimate potential. Everything is progressing
Speaker 2: steadily as expected, thanks to your solid preparation and ongoing drive. Bitch,
Speaker 2: you heard that ongoing, dry.
Speaker 1: Ongoing drive than preparing, this.
Speaker 2: Is for us, This is for all of us. The
Speaker 2: three of wands signals the many chances available to you
Speaker 2: to broaden your horizons through study, travel, business, enterprise, and learning.
Speaker 2: You're becoming more aware of the opportunities that exist for
Speaker 2: you right now, and there are still more to come.
Speaker 2: To take advantage of this potential, you must stay committed
Speaker 2: to your path and be prepared to stretch beyond your
Speaker 2: comfort zone, knowing your best hopes lie outside of your
Speaker 2: current environment. It is time to think big, big, big
Speaker 2: capital ig Consider what you can, Consider what you can
Speaker 2: to open doors to more development and self exploration. Now
Speaker 2: you know these us two bitches love some self exploration. Okay,
Speaker 2: This card encourages you to dream bigger than your limitations,
Speaker 2: accept your vision, and be confident you will achieve it.
Speaker 1: Amazing, really amazing, Wow, amazing. It sounds like a butterfly
Speaker 1: coming out of the cocoon, like you've done, You've done
Speaker 1: the work, You've done your due diligence, and now it's
Speaker 1: time to show all the fruits of your labor, like
Speaker 1: and honestly, like it's so crazy. We pulled this card
Speaker 1: on the new moon because I was reading so, you guys,
Speaker 1: the new moon is in Capricorn today and tomorrow, and
Speaker 1: I was reading about you know what this moon brings,
Speaker 1: and it's themes of death and rebirth and it's really
Speaker 1: a moon about transformation, and it kind of feels like
Speaker 1: that's what this card is talking about, Like you have
Speaker 1: the opportunity to transform if you've been putting in that work,
Speaker 1: you know. And it just feels like right on time,
Speaker 1: especially because a we are about to do our event
Speaker 1: on the twenty eighth at the full moon, and I
Speaker 1: was reading this this little blurb from this astrologer that
Speaker 1: I found on Instagram today. Her name's her instagram is
Speaker 1: Aya's Corner aa y as Corner and she's a black astrologer,
Speaker 1: and she was basically saying that new moons are usually
Speaker 1: used for manifestation, but with this I highly for this
Speaker 1: new moon right now. She highly suggests doing rituals of
Speaker 1: protection to release the things that are not serving you.
Speaker 1: And I feel like that's like, this is the perfect
Speaker 1: time right now, you guys, Like, if you guys are
Speaker 1: coming to our full moon ritual event on the twenty eighth,
Speaker 1: instead of doing a manifestation ritual tonight or manifesting tonight,
Speaker 1: think about all the things that you want to release,
Speaker 1: think about the things you need protection for, and then
Speaker 1: bring all those things with you on the twenty eighth,
Speaker 1: and let's really get that manifestation slowgoing because we have
Speaker 1: such an amazing group of people coming in. I'm so
Speaker 1: excited about I'm.
Speaker 3: Just so excited.
Speaker 2: We're about to really stir the pie and cultivate, like
Speaker 2: combine all of our witchy divine energy at this full
Speaker 2: moon ceremony led by a shaman, our favorite shaman, Jake,
Speaker 2: Shaman Sham and Jake.
Speaker 1: And he's also fine as hell excited, so I know
Speaker 1: he's fine.
Speaker 2: A yeah, if any if come for anything, come to
Speaker 2: see this fine ass and It's going to be so
Speaker 2: much fun, and I'm so excited for everybody to just
Speaker 2: get to, you know, rap elbows with other witches.
Speaker 1: And we have we just have such some Okay, we
Speaker 1: have some amazing powerful women that are going to be
Speaker 1: in there, like Bruna, she's going to do a goddess reading.
Speaker 1: We have Melanie Fiona, our Homegirl friend of the show,
Speaker 1: who is honestly my life coach. This girl, this woman
Speaker 1: is amazing. I called her the other day and I
Speaker 1: was like falling apart, and she fucking got my ass
Speaker 1: all the way together. Okay, Felicia Latour, Like, we have
Speaker 1: such an amazing group of women that really really understand
Speaker 1: what the power of manifestation and intention can do. And
Speaker 1: when you have people in a room like that, like
Speaker 1: that just adds energy to whatever it is that you're
Speaker 1: trying to manifest. So if you really want to get
Speaker 1: your manifestation on, if you've already been, if you've already
Speaker 1: been on this on this wave, kudos to you. If
Speaker 1: you are interested in trying it out, seeing what it's
Speaker 1: all about, this is the perfect time to do that.
Speaker 1: We have this amazing box that you're gonna get with
Speaker 1: all the items that you need for the event, but
Speaker 1: even more so the items you need just moving forward
Speaker 1: in twenty twenty one.
Speaker 2: So join us and be sure to click the link
Speaker 2: in the details of this episode to get this private
Speaker 2: link to our virtual Full Moon ceremony. Okay, so, before
Speaker 2: we go, an affirmation for protection and release. Is I
Speaker 2: happily let go of what's holding me back in life.
Speaker 2: I welcome transformation.
Speaker 1: I happily let go of what's holding me back in life.
Speaker 1: I welcome transformation. On that note, let's get into this
Speaker 1: episode with Natalie Alkala of Fashion Mama Joy or can.
Speaker 3: That's a can wine? Baby, what is it called?
Speaker 2: Love love white white wine, California and.
Speaker 4: Cheers, cheers, cheers.
Speaker 2: And we're joined by lovely Fashion Mama's founder Natalie Alcala.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking this is a long time coming. I'm really
Speaker 1: happy to have you here. Natalie. Natalie is, like Jamila said,
Speaker 1: the founder of Fashion Mamas, which is this amazing community
Speaker 1: that I found through my dear friend Nisha who's part
Speaker 1: of Fashion Mama's. And but fashion Mamas is all over
Speaker 1: the United States. You guys have got all over the world,
Speaker 1: all over the world, Australia, baby, Okay, we have some
Speaker 1: we have some listeners in Australia.
Speaker 3: In Australia a rainy pop.
Speaker 4: Yes, I don't know if that's.
Speaker 2: So.
Speaker 4: Thank you for coming. You're also a mama obviously too.
Speaker 3: I'm a stan of this podcast. Thank you for having me,
Speaker 3: and of course.
Speaker 1: Tell us about your babies. How old are they?
Speaker 3: I have a six year old boy named Diego and
Speaker 3: a two year old girl named Rio.
Speaker 1: You're busy, Yeah, I'm so busy.
Speaker 3: They just keep me busy, like twenty for seven and
Speaker 3: even though I work all day, it's just they're always
Speaker 3: on my mind. So being a mother is just totally
Speaker 3: its own job. But we're somehow, some way supposed to
Speaker 3: do both all the damn time. And yeah, it's just
Speaker 3: I mean, thank God for therapy and weed and drinks,
Speaker 3: all the party favors I can get in. Honestly, Honestly,
Speaker 3: I feel you can go hard in both.
Speaker 1: I mean I was just telling Jamila that, I was like,
Speaker 1: I think it's time. You know, if you guys have
Speaker 1: been listening, then you know me, Mila are You know?
Speaker 1: We like mushrooms, and through in COVID, mushrooms have kind
Speaker 1: of been like my saving grace because I had so much.
Speaker 1: I've been I've been dealing with anxiety on and off
Speaker 1: most of my adult life. And I got to the
Speaker 1: point during at the beginning of COVID where I was like,
Speaker 1: I am gonna I need to take pills, Like I mean,
Speaker 1: I need to take something. And so I actually did
Speaker 1: take some pills XANX to be exact, and it worked.
Speaker 1: It worked like a charm. It was great.
Speaker 3: But I was like, ah, these weren't too good.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be a pill pop in XANIX
Speaker 1: having mama and and you know what, and like, no
Speaker 1: shame to moms that take I just know myself and
Speaker 1: I know that I will cross the boundaries of xanic XANIX,
Speaker 1: and so I was like, I would. I need to
Speaker 1: find another solution. And so my friend was like, we
Speaker 1: don't have you ever tried microdosing? And I've taken mushrooms,
Speaker 1: but I've never used it for that, like in like
Speaker 1: the heat of like despair and likes an anxiety attack,
Speaker 1: and it's really really helped me and.
Speaker 4: I'm not having anxiety at all.
Speaker 1: I'm actually gonna be using mushrooms this weekend just for
Speaker 1: pure enjoyment because I have no I have no kids
Speaker 1: this weekend they got enjoyed. But yes, party favors.
Speaker 3: They used to call me pill queen. In college, so
Speaker 3: my stepdad was a doctor and my favorite activity after
Speaker 3: school was opening his cabinet and whatever pills there were,
Speaker 3: maybe byk it in maybe who know, its a free
Speaker 3: for all, and just.
Speaker 1: Snort it right to the head.
Speaker 3: This is a fellow woman from the valley.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the.
Speaker 3: Welcome to the valley where there's nothing to do but
Speaker 3: buck around. I saw her own the valley, and yeah,
Speaker 3: pill queen. I was proud of it. Hoover was my
Speaker 3: next six name. You can't guess why, And it's just
Speaker 3: like snort all the things I can absolutely yeah, wait,
Speaker 3: wait I'm coming, like you know, the vacuum cleaner. Oh.
Speaker 3: My specialty was definitely snorting my entire name.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I'm a long ass name.
Speaker 3: For some reason, no one gave me the grace of
Speaker 3: shortening the name.
Speaker 1: They were like, you said, yeah, you do me anyway. Wow.
Speaker 3: And you know it's taken me now in therapy to
Speaker 3: laugh back and be like, I'm proud of like all
Speaker 3: of the ways that I got here. But you know,
Speaker 3: at the time you're doing it to maybe fill a
Speaker 3: hole or just maybe numb whatever else is going on,
Speaker 3: or maybe just to fucking have a good time, because
Speaker 3: we're so bored at that age, and like we had supervision,
Speaker 3: but not someone around the clock with us. And I've
Speaker 3: always been like a baddie in my heart, like I
Speaker 3: just knew I was a little like that gets me going.
Speaker 3: You know, some people are just like they don't have
Speaker 3: that need for another layer of the world, seeing that
Speaker 3: other side of the world. And I go like this
Speaker 3: because I think about literally the soil coming up and
Speaker 3: just seeing what's underneath the hood. But when I've done mushrooms,
Speaker 3: when I've done all the things, I really think that
Speaker 3: people have done drugs, such as ourselves, they've just seen
Speaker 3: that other layer of the world.
Speaker 1: I agree. That's a good way I'm saying, and it's
Speaker 1: a vine that we all can share. I totally agree
Speaker 1: with that. I you know me, and we actually went
Speaker 1: to Joshua Tree, I don't know, maybe like two months ago,
Speaker 1: and that was the first time, like not the first time.
Speaker 1: It's been a while since I've used mushrooms super heavily
Speaker 1: because I like like microadosing or take small doses. When
Speaker 1: I was out there. I was like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: go all the way in. I went all the way in,
Speaker 1: and I saw I definitely peeled back a layer of
Speaker 1: the world. Both had ever gone wrong. It wasn't no,
Speaker 1: I mean not for me. Actually, yes, there's been one
Speaker 1: time when I was in college. I was in like
Speaker 1: a studio apartment with like seven people doing mushrooms in
Speaker 1: the winter New York. That's terrible, horrible. It was like
Speaker 1: we were all around away. I was like with a
Speaker 1: bunch of weird energy. I couldn't leave. It was just bad.
Speaker 1: I think even like, yeah, I don't want, I don't want,
Speaker 1: but it was it was not a good experience.
Speaker 3: I need to be in nature to do that, because
Speaker 3: you have to see like everything come to life around you,
Speaker 3: like the trees right right.
Speaker 2: There's definitely certain environments that are better than others. But
Speaker 2: I agree, I feel like.
Speaker 3: When you I don't know about you, but I don't
Speaker 3: think I can do it just in a room that's
Speaker 3: just four walls and nothing to do.
Speaker 1: I need music.
Speaker 3: I need you have to like set the seed right.
Speaker 1: For me. At least, I'm not one of those people
Speaker 1: like I like I'll take things like on the fly
Speaker 1: if I'm with people sometimes.
Speaker 3: But there's certain drugs for certain setups.
Speaker 1: But I have no problem saying no, no, I'm good.
Speaker 1: I'm not. I know I'm not in a place or
Speaker 1: around people. I really want to experience this. I might
Speaker 1: say something, I mean, thankfully. Yeah, I don't think I
Speaker 1: have an addictive personality per se.
Speaker 4: But I mean, besides weed, I guess I'm definitely addicted to.
Speaker 3: I mean, I've had my share.
Speaker 2: I think I'm like a like some I can be
Speaker 2: semi addict, but I'm like, I'm so conscious enough.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, bitch, you're getting.
Speaker 1: To this is getting too like you're doing this.
Speaker 3: A little too much.
Speaker 1: Well back, full back, like your life's not getting anywhere
Speaker 1: doing this having parent Yeah do that? Oh yeah I
Speaker 1: am Oh yeah, oh you got to like be a
Speaker 1: whole mom's right, Like, no, I can't do that.
Speaker 3: I'll you keep that line like I'll it on Wednesday,
Speaker 3: and it holds us account. It does because like your
Speaker 3: kid doesn't care if you're hungover the next day.
Speaker 1: Oh no, my two year old, she's.
Speaker 3: Away bright and bushy tailed at six am, so.
Speaker 1: I can go hard. Did you plan your kids or like, like,
Speaker 1: was it I mean, I know you're married. I'm just
Speaker 1: wondering if you planned because you know, because of your
Speaker 1: pre party life or what was it what was your
Speaker 1: name Pilgrims, Queen Hill, Queen Awa, Like what was the
Speaker 1: transition into you know, motherhood, and like was it planned?
Speaker 1: And had you retired pill Queen by then? That's such
Speaker 1: a good question. So in twenty thirteen is when we got.
Speaker 3: Married and we went on our honeymoon and then by
Speaker 3: New Year's we were pregnant. And just because we've been
Speaker 3: here for ten years, it sounds fast, but it was
Speaker 3: a long time. And we cried and we were crying
Speaker 3: from tears of joy and we're scared because we lived
Speaker 3: the single life you can like, the best single life
Speaker 3: you can possibly raving. We were partying. We would go
Speaker 3: to Orange, which is a city, and there's like e
Speaker 3: DC and all those things, and it was just like
Speaker 3: we really lived our best life. And everyone, all my
Speaker 3: friends would laugh, They're like, haha, imagine Natalie a mom,
Speaker 3: you know, And it was just like so not part
Speaker 3: of my brand identity that when it happened, I was
Speaker 3: just like, how is this going to go down? And
Speaker 3: it's so weird. I just feel like women are survivors
Speaker 3: through and through, Like we feel like we give us
Speaker 3: a challenge and we're like we can do it.
Speaker 1: We can do it somehow, some way, We're gonna get through.
Speaker 3: This mud and like get through it, and it is
Speaker 3: a real thing. I know it's gonna be corny, but
Speaker 3: it's just once your baby's there, it's just like, oh shit,
Speaker 3: like this is cool that they're part of me and
Speaker 3: this is our new life and they love me unconditionally,
Speaker 3: and I have something that's going to keep me responsible,
Speaker 3: hold me accountable. So I I felt like I could
Speaker 3: experiment and see if I can just grow up a
Speaker 3: little bit. Not saying that this new like I'm back.
Speaker 3: I have a two year old and I'm back, but
Speaker 3: I just felt like at that time, I was like,
Speaker 3: look sober up for nine months, Let's see if I
Speaker 3: can do this. It was the hardest thing I have
Speaker 3: to say. I have to And I have a best
Speaker 3: friend that hopefully Dina shout out, I'm gonna see her
Speaker 3: after this. She has a two month old and she
Speaker 3: was the biggest smoker of all time. She would be
Speaker 3: my husband, my husband morning and night and in between.
Speaker 3: And she's that same person and she's been sober for
Speaker 3: nine months and two months, you know, eleven months, and
Speaker 3: she's just like, girl, and I'm just like, I feel you.
Speaker 3: It's so so hard and me's.
Speaker 1: Only crackets sober, I mean so hard to be I
Speaker 1: mean honestly, because I'm I'm listening to you and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I totally understand. And then I'm like, for people that
Speaker 1: don't like, people that don't do any like these are
Speaker 1: recovery on it.
Speaker 3: I used to judge myself, I really did. And here's
Speaker 3: what I decided to tell myself is that everyone has
Speaker 3: a way that they live. Everyone has a reason to
Speaker 3: wake up every morning and if their slate is clean
Speaker 3: and they wake up with a clear head, and they're
Speaker 3: just like, I don't need a thing to run around
Speaker 3: this world, amazing and good for them. I need to
Speaker 3: function to like release some stress. I need my things
Speaker 3: and that's just the way I live. And we can
Speaker 3: go into Trump and we can go into the past,
Speaker 3: and girl, I need it. Like for me, that keeps
Speaker 3: me my engine running. And look, I'm still a productive
Speaker 3: ass person, right, you're susul. So I'm just like, that
Speaker 3: is my story, I tell myself.
Speaker 1: No, it's a true story. I agree with that. I
Speaker 1: think that everyone has their things that they need to
Speaker 1: be productive and sometimes and sometimes it's tea and sometimes
Speaker 1: it's to you know, that's mine happens to be both. Yeah,
Speaker 1: actually coffee, but you know, whatequila. And people don't really
Speaker 1: give women credit.
Speaker 2: Like I always say this, but first of all, I
Speaker 2: probably got pregnant because I was acting fucking crazy, like same,
Speaker 2: partying with my baby daddy, just staying up all night, drinking,
Speaker 2: just acting crazy. And when I got pregnant, I was
Speaker 2: so fucking scared, even though I'd fucking known him like
Speaker 2: fifteen years. But I was like, wait, I didn't get
Speaker 2: a two week notice, Like I wouldn't I want to
Speaker 2: go hard for two weeks now that I know, And I.
Speaker 1: Probably like was like am I pregnant? And am I pregnant?
Speaker 1: My periods are I'm like, let's go out.
Speaker 2: And then I took a pregnancy test, you know, But
Speaker 2: and then there's this whole and.
Speaker 3: This is why we started our podcast.
Speaker 2: This is this is it like because it's necessary that
Speaker 2: we all come together and be authentic with ourselves and
Speaker 2: with others without judging ourselves, because it gives people permission
Speaker 2: to not cast judgment and not judge themselves. But the
Speaker 2: truth of the matter is we're fucking human, and we're high,
Speaker 2: and we're young or women, and we're we have our
Speaker 2: own identities.
Speaker 3: And I think when you.
Speaker 2: Get pregnant, suddenly there's this flush of oh shit, I
Speaker 2: have to be this different type of person. You judge
Speaker 2: how you used to be, the things you've done, because
Speaker 2: now you're a mother and there's like this title. But
Speaker 2: and then there's like that first two years that we
Speaker 2: talked about that you're just congratulations coming out of and
Speaker 2: you're like trying to find out like a piece of
Speaker 2: your old self with probably like not snorting a lot
Speaker 2: of drugs and then not.
Speaker 3: None at all right now on the earth right and
Speaker 3: then alcohol.
Speaker 2: Now, and then the piece of yourself that's like catering
Speaker 2: and being an example to someone else. And it's a
Speaker 2: huge fucking transition, and men really don't have to do
Speaker 2: it immediately because you don't have to carry the fucking baby.
Speaker 3: One hundred and ten percent. I think that we should
Speaker 3: also be destigmatizing that there's a direct relation with using
Speaker 3: recreational drugs or you know, items that make you happy
Speaker 3: inside with like yes, I think You guys have talked
Speaker 3: about in a past podcast that there's certain types of
Speaker 3: type of cannabis flowers that you know, when you're not
Speaker 3: going to be productive on Indiga and you know sativa,
Speaker 3: you could be like, you know what, I could function today.
Speaker 3: And it's just like educating yourself. It's not like whatever
Speaker 3: is down to go up my nose. That was Natalie
Speaker 3: in high school early college. But I'm an adult woman
Speaker 3: and I know the things that make me happy. But
Speaker 3: what about the woman that has a prosecco every fucking day?
Speaker 1: Right? You know they have something every day and.
Speaker 3: It's just we I'm almost like, I'm glad I'm still
Speaker 3: here because I have skeletons in my closet that I'm
Speaker 3: just like, I wake up every day having to face that,
Speaker 3: having to be reminded of that. So I'm just like,
Speaker 3: we made it. We are functioning. You have a successful podcast.
Speaker 3: I have a business, and we get to do all
Speaker 3: of this too. It's almost like we want to welcome
Speaker 3: people into the world like guess what you can do both?
Speaker 3: You can do it all right. You have to be
Speaker 3: able to live with the darkness.
Speaker 2: You have to be able to embrace your the beast
Speaker 2: inside of you, like it is a it's a life
Speaker 2: lesson to like embrace the duality of it. Nobody is perfect,
Speaker 2: even if that's what they show you all the time,
Speaker 2: because you know.
Speaker 3: Not to take a dark turn. But there's stories where
Speaker 3: you can just say like, I've had enough and I
Speaker 3: almost want to be like I wish I could have
Speaker 3: covered that person in love and a joint and been
Speaker 3: like baby, that's like I promise, if you just release
Speaker 3: and not worry about people judging you, you can be
Speaker 3: set free in your mind for those hours that you're
Speaker 3: on this ride with me. And that's how I really feel,
Speaker 3: because think about how crazy even now twenty twenty is.
Speaker 3: It's enough to go insane. Yeah, we can judge or
Speaker 3: we can feel good right now. So right now, I'm
Speaker 3: gonna do that. I'm gonna be political. I'm gonna make
Speaker 3: the smart choices and take a stand and be an activist.
Speaker 3: But I'm also gonna get fucked up and numb for
Speaker 3: a me. I'll see my kids in an.
Speaker 1: Hour, right amen.
Speaker 3: Amen, A lot going on.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna be just and also I'm gonna get sucked up.
Speaker 2: I've got to do about home and take we got
Speaker 2: to at this point.
Speaker 1: No, I agree. I mean I think that we feel
Speaker 1: like you have to lose a part of yourself, you know,
Speaker 1: And like Jamila was saying, like there's this big transition
Speaker 1: like from being you know, the girl used to be
Speaker 1: having this baby, and then it's like, Okay, I'm doing
Speaker 1: this thing, and then when I have the baby, it's
Speaker 1: back to like the old thing again, right, And it
Speaker 1: was like, no, it's not, and like what does that
Speaker 1: look like? It's just it's confusing and it takes time.
Speaker 1: And for those listening that just have like maybe you
Speaker 1: have two year olds, like you know, we have six
Speaker 1: year olds, and I know there's pir of people that
Speaker 1: listen that have twenty year olds, you know. Like I remember,
Speaker 1: if I knew what I knew now and I'm only
Speaker 1: five years in, like I would have been so much
Speaker 1: more forgiving on myself.
Speaker 4: When I first had Iri, I was so hard on myself.
Speaker 1: I felt like I was supposed to be this certain
Speaker 1: way and like I didn't know how I was gonna
Speaker 1: I felt like my dreams, my goals, like I already
Speaker 1: was kind of like wasn't sure what I wanted to do,
Speaker 1: and then.
Speaker 4: Motherhood made me even more insecure in the beginning.
Speaker 1: The empowerment came obviously later, and I like, I absolutely
Speaker 1: think like most a lot of mothers know that feeling
Speaker 1: like that feeling of that motherhood really has empowered you
Speaker 1: and made you feel more confident in so many ways.
Speaker 4: But for me, at first, I didn't. I was like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, what am I doing.
Speaker 1: I'm not successful at anything, Like I've been acting my
Speaker 1: whole life, and I feel like I haven't had my
Speaker 1: like big break or something, and like my mom has
Speaker 1: a successful brand, but I don't know if I want
Speaker 1: to follow my mom's footsteps. My father was a pro athlete.
Speaker 1: I have all these shoes to fill. What the fuck
Speaker 1: am I going to do? What am I doing? Am
Speaker 1: I good at anything? Like I don't know. I have
Speaker 1: a baby daddy who's like, you know, he's getting a
Speaker 1: lot of attention, and like maybe I should just support
Speaker 1: him because he's really good at it, you know. And
Speaker 1: like I started to lose myself and not really know
Speaker 1: who I was and who I am, and like it's
Speaker 1: just like you get to that point and like we
Speaker 1: are we're a tribute to that like that you can
Speaker 1: do that, you find that and like for you, like
Speaker 1: I don't know, Like I look at the community that
Speaker 1: you've built and like I'm in all of you. I
Speaker 1: really am, because you do have two children and you
Speaker 1: have built an amazing community. You have events like real event,
Speaker 1: nice events. Guys. Her events are fucking she there, she
Speaker 1: is fucking the k is fucking me. And I think
Speaker 1: we even talked about your event we went to. We
Speaker 1: did our Coachella episode two years ago or last year.
Speaker 1: It was part of our mom Cella.
Speaker 2: It was Yeah, when first we went to this, like
Speaker 2: she it was like the most classy mom event you
Speaker 2: can You can imagine you guys.
Speaker 3: Rolled up cheek as fucked too, like who's that girl?
Speaker 1: Like we had looks okay, we had our outfits together
Speaker 1: and little.
Speaker 3: Do you know, we like planned to stalk.
Speaker 2: You that day. We had like a game talk a
Speaker 2: talk in the car like she's okay, so this is
Speaker 2: what she looks like, her name is, Okay, this is
Speaker 2: what we're doing.
Speaker 1: Because we had just started our our our community, like
Speaker 1: starting to build our we were looking at yours like wow,
Speaker 1: how fucking amazing, how.
Speaker 3: Amazing, and like we were trying.
Speaker 1: We're thinking. We have done a couple of events at
Speaker 1: that point, I'm like, how does she do this?
Speaker 3: Out of town and so many people are there, like
Speaker 3: people gave her it was beautiful.
Speaker 1: She didn't buy that.
Speaker 4: I was like, we didn't.
Speaker 1: We didn't need friends with her. We didn't know our secret.
Speaker 3: The way I'm doing talking the whole time, it's like
Speaker 3: you're wedding every time. You guys know that at this
Speaker 3: point you don't know. We were like, we're gonna manifest
Speaker 3: the right. So we go in there.
Speaker 2: We had like a game plan and we go in
Speaker 2: the kitchen to eat and we're talking and then would
Speaker 2: just look up and she's like hi.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, look, look she's wed. To find
Speaker 1: her Yeah, with her, I think your breastfeeding, walked up.
Speaker 2: To hang and then we had and then we were
Speaker 2: all talking and I was like, wow, we just like
Speaker 2: totally just laid out the plan and she just walked
Speaker 2: right to us.
Speaker 3: In the middle of the conversation, one of the chicks
Speaker 3: comes up and she's like that.
Speaker 2: At is the is the rice is the rice and
Speaker 2: salad glitten free and vegan. And you're like you're like
Speaker 2: to stop me, like pose like yeah, of course, and
Speaker 2: then you keep going and then you go it's not
Speaker 2: the most fucking l a shit ever.
Speaker 1: I'm like, we're all just laughing, la la, But it
Speaker 1: was perfect.
Speaker 3: It was just manifested and our plan was to stalk
Speaker 3: you and look, here you are.
Speaker 1: Here you are.
Speaker 4: We know we've manifested you into our seat.
Speaker 3: Literal love is beyond reciprocated. It's just one of those
Speaker 3: things like at events, like you know, the moment you
Speaker 3: walk in, I'm like, let's go away for like two
Speaker 3: hours in gab But it's just you can one.
Speaker 1: Hundred you can't. There's no way you can connect with
Speaker 1: every single person at all period. It's just no way.
Speaker 3: And my only goal with fash moment is to reward
Speaker 3: women that are just like, look, I'm going to try
Speaker 3: to do my career, still have my identity still and
Speaker 3: be a mom still. And look, sometimes mom will be
Speaker 3: at the top and his career is going to be
Speaker 3: at the top, but I have a baby in my hip, Like,
Speaker 3: you're gonna do both. It's not one of those things
Speaker 3: where we're singular at all. I don't work that way.
Speaker 3: I don't think that's humanity. It's not I think that
Speaker 3: we wake up sometimes and we're just like my only
Speaker 3: goal to day is I want to look cute today.
Speaker 3: I want to take a good ig that makes me
Speaker 3: feel good. You're still a good mom, You're still I know.
Speaker 3: I believe in you, that you're you know, you're feeding
Speaker 3: your children and you're making sure that they're set up
Speaker 3: on their zoom like I believe that you can be
Speaker 3: as many of the things as you want and guess what,
Speaker 3: they're not going to be one hundred percent. I can't
Speaker 3: tell you that I do anything one hundred percent as
Speaker 3: much as the Sikh event you said. I can tell
Speaker 3: you the little corners we cut, and I can tell
Speaker 3: you the the fuck ups that happened and my fourth
Speaker 3: trimester when you guys saw me and I see you
Speaker 3: guys coming and I'm like, they're so hot, like a
Speaker 3: gross flood. I got lots of skin and my baby
Speaker 3: and like boobs are filled. It's just that we're all
Speaker 3: judging ourselves all the fucking time, and only in thirty
Speaker 3: six years of my life and my step free right
Speaker 3: now where I'm like, I've had the maximum amount of
Speaker 3: kids I'm gonna have. Bless your heart if you have more.
Speaker 3: And I'm just like I'm me, this is it, and
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna ride and be alive right.
Speaker 1: Right now, right, but in a beautiful place to be too.
Speaker 1: I mean, like for me, like I don't know if
Speaker 1: I'm done having kids, Like you know, I'm not married,
Speaker 1: I'm in a relationship now, I'm with someone who wants
Speaker 1: to have children. And I go back and forth, mostly
Speaker 1: not bad girls, mostly not back to feeling like I
Speaker 1: want them. But then there is this part of me
Speaker 1: that's like, oh God, like maybe I do, like maybe
Speaker 1: I can have one more, but like to know, like
Speaker 1: I'm done now what you know, Like that's right. I
Speaker 1: feel like that also offers like the kind of like
Speaker 1: there's a beautiful freedom, right, but it's.
Speaker 3: A boundary thing, and it's a thing I probably need
Speaker 3: it as having an addictive personality, like you're probably like
Speaker 3: a much more sane and sound person for it. But
Speaker 3: I create like a I'm done with this. I'll do
Speaker 3: time blocking in my day. That's how I do it all,
Speaker 3: even though I don't do it all like perfect, but
Speaker 3: I do it all because I'm like, oh it's twelve pm,
Speaker 3: turn off my like close my laptop and I'm.
Speaker 1: Gonna listen to Luis Miguel.
Speaker 3: There's some Spanish and I'm just gonna dance around my
Speaker 3: clubhouse because it's like my workout and my stressor my
Speaker 3: stress reliever. And I just create these boundaries for myself
Speaker 3: no matter what, even if I'm not done with a thing,
Speaker 3: because my brain works that way.
Speaker 1: So I need to be better. Honestly, I know better
Speaker 1: at stopping things even if I didn't finish them, because
Speaker 1: I will keep going and going and going. But the
Speaker 1: end I know I am and love, I'll keep going
Speaker 1: and going going and then still won't finish. And it's
Speaker 1: like I probably could have finished shut down momentum re energizing.
Speaker 1: I know, Oh my god, if my man's listening to this,
Speaker 1: Oh but all.
Speaker 3: The sloppy, I'm slappy all day. But that's my one
Speaker 3: little thing that I do.
Speaker 1: But I'm just like a tip though, Like so that's
Speaker 1: a good one because I feel like if you like
Speaker 1: for me, like I need to hear that, because I
Speaker 1: feel like there's a lot of people out there that
Speaker 1: don't know how to just take it.
Speaker 4: And then I beat myself up. It's like no, it's
Speaker 4: just like this is this is this is just the boundary.
Speaker 1: That's the rule. We're gonna carry on the next day,
Speaker 1: So yeah, thank you for saying that.
Speaker 3: No, I I just feel like I create these little
Speaker 3: the games we play with ourselves, right, the games we create.
Speaker 1: I just create these.
Speaker 3: Little like games and boundaries and guidelines to exist. And
Speaker 3: I am that type of person that needs to do
Speaker 3: that because leave me alone in a quiet room, all
Speaker 3: alone with no one around, with no substances, and I've
Speaker 3: got to face things that I've been in the past.
Speaker 3: And I know I'm so dramatic at times, but I
Speaker 3: just really do feel that way. I'm just kind of like,
Speaker 3: why am I like this? Why? Why did I? Like
Speaker 3: my mother never like had one man in her life,
Speaker 3: but the men that she did choose to have in
Speaker 3: her life for a long time were abusive men or
Speaker 3: were like men that were just toxic. And those were
Speaker 3: and it's I was raised by a single mother. Single
Speaker 3: women are like gods to me. It's more about the
Speaker 3: men that they brought into their life that are toxic,
Speaker 3: that stayed in my mind. That's stuff around exactly. So,
Speaker 3: and so what I did and I turned that ond.
Speaker 3: This wasn't even part of like what we're talking about.
Speaker 3: But I'm just going off.
Speaker 1: I feel so sick.
Speaker 3: But it's like like the toxic men that we are
Speaker 3: encountering with our parents or anyone in our childhood. We
Speaker 3: were just like men are bad, right, So I just
Speaker 3: like was like, I'm just.
Speaker 1: Gonna fuck with men.
Speaker 3: Oh my fucking life. I'm gonna find a high guy
Speaker 3: we can follow in with me, fuck him, and then
Speaker 3: fuck all his friends.
Speaker 1: That's what you do.
Speaker 3: And you're just like, I have power over you, and
Speaker 3: no matter what, even though they love me, if they're
Speaker 3: too nice, I'm just like, I'm still going to fuck
Speaker 3: you up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm still gonna go.
Speaker 3: And you're almost like justifying and you're seeking justice for
Speaker 3: the bad.
Speaker 1: Men that hurt your mom. Seeking justice. Wow, And that's
Speaker 1: my excuse, Like it's not okay. And how did your husband,
Speaker 1: sorry boy, how did your husband come in here? I mean,
Speaker 1: was or did the healing happen before that or was
Speaker 1: it an ongoing thing?
Speaker 3: It was literally right in the middle of it. So
Speaker 3: my husband came in right in the middle of my
Speaker 3: toxic relationship that I was.
Speaker 1: Just cheating on him with all his friends.
Speaker 3: And I met my husband at a bar and he
Speaker 3: came in with a girl and I sat on his lap,
Speaker 3: and I was like you're cute and that's not okay.
Speaker 1: And you know I'm twenty one years old, no twenty
Speaker 1: years old.
Speaker 3: He through my twenty first birthday and I just when
Speaker 3: I was lap, and you know, not okay for him
Speaker 3: that he accepted me, received me on his lap. But
Speaker 3: we just had our moment. And look, the reason why
Speaker 3: I was still with my ex is he was younger
Speaker 3: than me. You know, we're babies at that age, and
Speaker 3: it's like we are just trying to stick it to
Speaker 3: them all the time. So cheating was my abuse. He
Speaker 3: was abusive towards me. So I was like, I'm going
Speaker 3: to break your heart by telling you, like other men
Speaker 3: make me feel good, and for men, that's almost.
Speaker 1: Exactly one. Tell him other men are better than the
Speaker 1: way to the movies, even more money money.
Speaker 2: And.
Speaker 3: They'll crumble and melt. And this man lot wholesome, the
Speaker 3: most wholesome person. And for me being like my raggedy
Speaker 3: valley girl that just lives spicy, I was just like
Speaker 3: he's just so sweet, and I was like, how can
Speaker 3: I corrupt him? But he sticks older than me and
Speaker 3: he would pick me up. So we just started hanging
Speaker 3: out and then my space this is all our communications
Speaker 3: channel was my face. I would shout out on my
Speaker 3: Space me and my girl, we need to ride to Coachella.
Speaker 3: And he's like, I'm the guy you said on the lap,
Speaker 3: like do you want to ride to Cotta? And I
Speaker 3: was like okay, and I jump in the car with him.
Speaker 1: This is not safe in this day in my Space,
Speaker 1: but you know what, it was kind of it's okay,
Speaker 1: it's not It's not safe for them at these strangers.
Speaker 2: I've gotten into cars by that I probably should have
Speaker 2: been kidnapped twenty seven, right, it's.
Speaker 1: Safe for them than it is now. I feel like
Speaker 1: kids were more on the Internet than versus now creepy
Speaker 1: old men can be on the Internet because they figured
Speaker 1: it out. Like I was mostly talking to if I
Speaker 1: was talking to an older guy and maybe he was
Speaker 1: like twenty one and I was sixteen. You know, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know there were creepers for sure. I don't want
Speaker 1: to back, but you mostly just chat with.
Speaker 3: Your friends on AOL that you know exactly.
Speaker 1: But my face was that place.
Speaker 4: I mean, I I met my boyfriend, the Michael Jackson person.
Speaker 1: I met him on my Space. As I remember recently,
Speaker 1: I was driving the other day and I was thinking.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, I god. I had
Speaker 1: a boyfriend from my space and there was an it
Speaker 1: was another guy, like a whole last boyfriend I had
Speaker 1: that I forgot I did too all right because I
Speaker 1: was driving towards Long Beach and I was like, I
Speaker 1: had a boyfriend in Longrida's family on my Space Facebook.
Speaker 1: Suddenly you could do yeah, you could do anything exactly.
Speaker 3: So this is the best flex that maybe it's a
Speaker 3: young injury listening to guys.
Speaker 1: What he did is we.
Speaker 3: Drove and he was like, let me tell you about
Speaker 3: all the guys in my scene that are talking about you.
Speaker 1: They all want to fuck you.
Speaker 3: So at Coachella, like that guy wants to give you
Speaker 3: a hotel room or wants to give you a drink
Speaker 3: or whatever, he wants to fuck you. So if you
Speaker 3: want to hang out with me, like, I will make
Speaker 3: sure that doesn't happen to you this trip. And I
Speaker 3: was like, I don't want the town to thank you
Speaker 3: very much.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 3: And so he hung out with me and he was
Speaker 3: literally truly kind the whole weekend, like the best like game,
Speaker 3: that's the best game that me and my other we
Speaker 3: are younger than him, and he would bring us beer.
Speaker 3: We would like he did eat.
Speaker 1: He held my girlfriend's hand, my best friend's hand, and
Speaker 1: it wasn't even.
Speaker 3: A thing because you're not that age.
Speaker 1: We're all just like flow.
Speaker 3: And the night that night, my mom she was like,
Speaker 3: she called me and she said, Natalie, I don't know
Speaker 3: if you're in you're still at Coachella, but I have
Speaker 3: a time share. I let my my friend let me
Speaker 3: use your time share so I have a place to
Speaker 3: stay at night tonight. You guys don't want to sleep in.
Speaker 1: The car, and I did.
Speaker 3: And this guy was so wholesome. I was like, do
Speaker 3: you want to stay at my mom's house. He's like, yeah,
Speaker 3: of course. And he had a separate room and he
Speaker 3: slept ir respectfully. And when we had Mexican food, and
Speaker 3: my mom was like, you're gonna marry this guy? Like ew,
Speaker 3: he's just so like corny and it all happens. But
Speaker 3: I was just like and he told me in like
Speaker 3: in retrospect. I was like, why were you so good?
Speaker 3: He's like, of course I wanted to fuck, you know,
Speaker 3: But he waited.
Speaker 1: Like two months.
Speaker 3: The long game. He let me get crazy. Two thousand
Speaker 3: and four. We met two thousand and six. I was like,
Speaker 3: this is too good. We're gonna break up.
Speaker 1: For a whole year? Are you mean hold on?
Speaker 3: Broke up for a year? And I said if if
Speaker 3: in three hundred and sixty five days, I still miss you,
Speaker 3: then it's good. And he was like, three hundred and
Speaker 3: sixty five days, I'm like hi, And then he was
Speaker 3: And I did all the things la night life like
Speaker 3: I did all of it to live it out with twenty.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm sassy. And he still deals with me, and
Speaker 3: he always still tells me till this day, are you
Speaker 3: trying to sabotage things right now?
Speaker 1: Day? I've ever done couple therapy. I mean you've talked
Speaker 1: about therapy, so I do therapy alone.
Speaker 3: We've done couple therapy, but they always end up loving
Speaker 3: him because he's the voice of reason. And I was
Speaker 3: just like, I don't feel seen right now. I don't
Speaker 3: like you. It's a therapy, Okay.
Speaker 1: Then I had a couple of therapies. I feel we
Speaker 1: are I think I might.
Speaker 2: I know you're not.
Speaker 3: I know you have the same sign, but you're my sister. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And so I just I told him I need to
Speaker 3: work out some things. I said, honestly, you're the picture
Speaker 3: of perfect when it comes to your life and everything
Speaker 3: you've been through. He said, his biggest issues he's had
Speaker 3: is like fitting in. And he came here from Moscow
Speaker 3: when he was nine and he didn't speak English. So
Speaker 3: his biggest issues were he was a good boy and
Speaker 3: fitting into a bad world.
Speaker 1: And I can't relate to that. I'm like, that's not
Speaker 1: a hard job. Oh what is he a cancer?
Speaker 3: He's a real woman. And it's just it's been so
Speaker 3: fun that I always say tame the world base It's
Speaker 3: not that deep. But it's just that I really feel
Speaker 3: like he made me just like, I've been abused enough
Speaker 3: and abused enough. How about this new life of like
Speaker 3: just like, and we're not wholesome. We partied our lives
Speaker 3: away when we were together. We did all of the things.
Speaker 3: And but you know what, he's the first one. If
Speaker 3: I'm on the verge of I've done enough of the thing,
Speaker 3: he'll drive us home and he'll be like, I sobered
Speaker 3: up because I saw you in pain, So I'm gonna
Speaker 3: drive us. He's a responsible one, just you call a partner.
Speaker 1: He knows how to read, and he took care of
Speaker 1: you the first night.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and he waited for me. His patience is beyond
Speaker 3: he was. He I always live like he waited for
Speaker 3: me to grow up because you know that year I
Speaker 3: just needed leaving a positive relationship because I'm like, it's
Speaker 3: too good, goodbye. He could have been like fuck you, right,
Speaker 3: but he waited five Okay, he still has a work
Speaker 3: cut out for him. I'm not like turned.
Speaker 2: But the fact that you've been together all this time
Speaker 2: and that he can still look at you in your
Speaker 2: face and say you're sabotaging shit, yeah, and like just
Speaker 2: call you out and keep it moving, like look what
Speaker 2: you doing, bitch together.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna I'm seeing you right now. I'll say, throw
Speaker 3: out the trash.
Speaker 1: And then he doesn't. I get home, like why didn't
Speaker 1: you throw it out? Like I need you to do it.
Speaker 3: Why don't you respect me? And he's like it's not
Speaker 3: that deep, Like I didn't get to it today.
Speaker 1: I will get to it tomorrow. Don't try to like sabotage, yeah,
Speaker 1: to be wrong here, Like I like, you just don't listen.
Speaker 1: You just don't want to listen to it. You heard
Speaker 1: me say it and you didn't have her.
Speaker 3: It's an inner child thing that us at our age,
Speaker 3: like women of a Particular Age. We are trying to
Speaker 3: face her inner child. Oh oh my god, I don't
Speaker 3: be calling.
Speaker 2: Me out like that.
Speaker 4: Wait, is there a book called Women of a Particular Age?
Speaker 1: Because not there needs to because I feel like that's
Speaker 1: a whole ass book, because I feel like there's a
Speaker 1: particular age and there's different milestones. I think a little bit.
Speaker 3: There's like brackets, so there's like, no, you guys are babies. Honestly,
Speaker 3: there's like twenty four to thirty four. You're in a
Speaker 3: bracket thirty four to like forty three or something.
Speaker 4: Only I'm not afraid of age. I'm afraid of aging.
Speaker 1: I'm fine with the number. I'm fine with the numbers.
Speaker 1: Give me all the numbers, bitch, I want the wisdom.
Speaker 1: Just gave me the same face. While we're here, I'm
Speaker 1: started to feeling like she's like, you make up. I'm like, yes,
Speaker 1: I think I think I was sleeping upside down, lack
Speaker 1: of skin carouteene or using the wrong product, and I
Speaker 1: us they're using too many, too many things.
Speaker 3: Times there's like a kindly general effect or.
Speaker 4: Something just you know, they're like they're filling their face
Speaker 4: and then they end up looking older.
Speaker 1: I'm like, look in their mode. I can't do a
Speaker 1: high school right now.
Speaker 3: It's trippy. I'm intimidated now. Honestly, I don't want to
Speaker 3: be in high school at all.
Speaker 1: I'm scared of high school and babies.
Speaker 3: I'm so glad.
Speaker 1: All I had was like friends. As soon as I
Speaker 1: go to college, I got one. But I had my Space.
Speaker 1: Oh god, my co contact, Instagram and TikTok and all
Speaker 1: these goddamn dance videos.
Speaker 3: I can't very impressed by that this generation. But I'm
Speaker 3: also like scared for them. I'm sore. Are they gonna
Speaker 3: do when they're our age? They are so yeah, and
Speaker 3: they know they're gonna they're gonna look they're.
Speaker 1: So smart, but they have no idea what dumb pieces?
Speaker 1: They have no idea what peace at twelve thirteen years old.
Speaker 1: There's some that do. There's some that there said peace
Speaker 1: like ryot, like disconnection overload. Even me, like I'm we're
Speaker 1: on the edge of that. And I will say, like
Speaker 1: I'm one hundred and four hundred percent, four hundred percent
Speaker 1: addicted to my phone, and like it is a problem.
Speaker 1: What's your daily hours? I don't even want to I don't.
Speaker 3: Look at your hours.
Speaker 1: No, I look at what they are, and I'm just like,
Speaker 1: I don't like, you know what it is. It's not
Speaker 1: even that I'm addicted to my phone. I'm a dick
Speaker 1: looking now, I'm addicted to my phone. I'diction to my
Speaker 1: phone because work is on my phone. But then also
Speaker 1: like leisure is on my phone, so they're both there,
Speaker 1: just there, and so it's easy for me to get there,
Speaker 1: start working, take a break on my phone, go back
Speaker 1: to work on my phone, then take another break looking
Speaker 1: at some shit on my phone.
Speaker 3: Are the men you've ever been with on Instagram?
Speaker 1: On phone?
Speaker 3: Are they on social media platforms?
Speaker 1: Yeah? And it's so funny. My my my boyfriend now
Speaker 1: is on Instagram, but he doesn't really use his phone
Speaker 1: a lot, so he gets really irritated with me. They
Speaker 1: don't understand it, Yeah, but no, and I get it,
Speaker 1: Like I understand his frustration, but also like I'll be like,
Speaker 1: I'm working and then I'm like and then I'm not
Speaker 1: working for like maybe forty five minutes, and he's like,
Speaker 1: you're still on your phone. I'm like, I'm not. I'm
Speaker 1: just confused.
Speaker 3: He doesn't use Instagram. My husband doesn't use Instagram.
Speaker 1: At all.
Speaker 3: He just uses Facebook to check on like family or
Speaker 3: like share political views or something. But Instagram he does,
Speaker 3: and he's like, I don't like I could feel as
Speaker 3: toxic there, and I'm just like, I literally need it
Speaker 3: for my brand, right you have to?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So it's just like, I just wonder if men it's
Speaker 3: a different it sorts a different purpose. I don't even
Speaker 3: know if I want to be with a guy that's
Speaker 3: like hardcore into branding on ig.
Speaker 2: No, there's one of us, yeah, the only one of us. Yeah,
Speaker 2: adventure Bait wasn't an Instagram guy. And I was happy
Speaker 2: about that.
Speaker 1: You like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't need any men taking selfies. I don't
Speaker 3: need you to be posting a lot of selfies of yourself.
Speaker 1: I'm good.
Speaker 3: I think Instagram is taking a dark turn though. I
Speaker 3: think the way people are sharing, like their riches abundance,
Speaker 3: it's just it's toxic for people because this could be enough.
Speaker 3: Hanging out with your people could be enough. But if
Speaker 3: you it is enough. But if you see that someone
Speaker 3: else has only designer labels or only this that, or
Speaker 3: their house is polished yet they have a child, or
Speaker 3: they breastfed till their kid was one hundred like eighteen
Speaker 3: or whatever, you know, four years old. It's just they're
Speaker 3: just so much judgment and so much one upping.
Speaker 1: That it just it's so toxic.
Speaker 3: And that's why it's like sorority culture. I could never
Speaker 3: join that in college.
Speaker 1: I was just like I need to shake shit up.
Speaker 3: That's why we're scaling fashion momas because I'm like, I
Speaker 3: don't want people in the group or on our fait
Speaker 3: fashion Mama's account that are just like always one.
Speaker 1: Uping each other. We have to show the mess too,
Speaker 1: because I'm like so messy. Well you know what, I
Speaker 1: don't have to.
Speaker 2: I commend you for like showing the mess too, because
Speaker 2: you know, like, of course me and Eric can do
Speaker 2: it because we've almost conditioned ourselves to get more.
Speaker 3: Comfortable and odd for you guys, honestly and even for
Speaker 3: us it.
Speaker 2: Gets hard, but like for you to come on here,
Speaker 2: be honest, keep it real and like you guys when
Speaker 2: we say she was like the chakest cheakest brain endeavor, yeah,
Speaker 2: like I'm I'm not not that I'm surprised. I you know,
Speaker 2: I know you're cool, but I'm like, this is such
Speaker 2: a good message for like just for the mom community period,
Speaker 2: because it appears like so.
Speaker 3: Much and there's just there's so much beneath the surface,
Speaker 3: you know. So I appreciate you.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Speaking of your brand, did you start it? I mean
Speaker 1: you started it in hop.
Speaker 3: Twenty fourteen, and so you were no resources like this.
Speaker 1: Girl, right? And how old were how old was your child?
Speaker 3: But so why mestitis?
Speaker 1: Back to back?
Speaker 3: I had rebounds and mistitas with Diego.
Speaker 1: Wait, what is mistitis? Oh?
Speaker 3: Thank god, you don't know what that is.
Speaker 1: Honestly, it's a it's a oh my god, infection in
Speaker 1: your breast.
Speaker 3: Oh when you're trying to breastfeed, and blood and bacteria sorry,
Speaker 3: is going into your work back into your body and
Speaker 3: it feels like glass inside your boobs.
Speaker 1: Oh no.
Speaker 3: And I had that three times with Diego, and then
Speaker 3: by fourth month he was like smooth sailing. But I
Speaker 3: kept going because I'm just such a massive kiss I guess,
Speaker 3: or like addicted, and so I was just like I
Speaker 3: gotta see if I could do it, and thank god,
Speaker 3: I was able to overcome it. But women that want
Speaker 3: to stop. When that first hurt, my mom told me
Speaker 3: you hurt a little, and I started formula feeding you.
Speaker 3: I came out fine, it's all good.
Speaker 1: I am your mom. No what I'm saying. I mean
Speaker 1: I had rest fund for four months maybe yeah, four months,
Speaker 1: and it just became too hard for me. And then
Speaker 1: they were like you can, you can give her the
Speaker 1: bottles like I can boom. But I do wish that,
Speaker 1: like I had more people that would have would have
Speaker 1: empowered me to keep going.
Speaker 3: I had no one.
Speaker 1: Everyone was like, yeah, just do that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Her dad was like sounds like he's right. My mom's like.
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, it's so isolating.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, And so when I created Fashion Moms, I was
Speaker 3: just the only reason I was doing it was because
Speaker 3: I care about my job so much. Like I know,
Speaker 3: I just had a baby, but I can't write to
Speaker 3: wait to write that story or go back to Paris
Speaker 3: Fashion Week or whatever. And I was like, I wonder
Speaker 3: if there's other moms that are having this dilemma of
Speaker 3: also caring a lot about their career and their kid
Speaker 3: even though their kid was just born. Because I've met
Speaker 3: so many mothers that are like, this is my life's purpose.
Speaker 3: Thank God for all of those women.
Speaker 1: But that wasn't in me.
Speaker 3: And I was like, I don't have postpartum depression I
Speaker 3: have more of just like, damn, I'm still me inside.
Speaker 3: I'm not going to do all of the other things.
Speaker 3: And I'll have you know, I had maybe in twenty fourteen.
Speaker 3: I had my first OD in two thousand and eight,
Speaker 3: and I was sober till then. I didn't do anything
Speaker 3: because I was so shook, like stared straight. So I
Speaker 3: had a long time to recover. But so I was
Speaker 3: just like, I want experiment and put together some of
Speaker 3: the women in the fashion industry, so models, designers, artists, editors,
Speaker 3: and just have them talk amongst each other. And I
Speaker 3: loved putting on an event because I was already a
Speaker 3: fashion editor, so I was working with RACT. I was
Speaker 3: a senior editor there and I was like gift bags,
Speaker 3: you know, all the fun things. So I had a
Speaker 3: lot of brand contacts and I loved that aspect of it.
Speaker 3: And I said, why don't I put them all in
Speaker 3: a room and see if I can learn from them?
Speaker 3: And in turn, they're like, yeah, Natalie, we love you.
Speaker 3: And they're all talking organically, and I love that they
Speaker 3: were just gluing to each other, and the right after
Speaker 3: the event, they were just like, when's the next one?
Speaker 3: And I didn't know that there was a next one.
Speaker 3: I just thought it and I was like fashion Mamaska
Speaker 3: just because I hashtagged that in like November twenty fourteen,
Speaker 3: and so many women were like, that's me, that's me.
Speaker 3: And then I was like, fucking trademark that you know.
Speaker 1: And then.
Speaker 3: By December, I was like, I don't know, do people
Speaker 3: ever like create membership? So who house? I'm a member,
Speaker 3: a longtime members so I was just always like, they
Speaker 3: do a membership, you know, should I? And I did
Speaker 3: a membership and there weren't communities like that yet, and
Speaker 3: I was like, this is my favorite thing, like to
Speaker 3: organize events for everyone, and just I'm type as fucks.
Speaker 3: So they all are multitalented and dynamic as fuck and
Speaker 3: they do things I can never do. But I know
Speaker 3: how to be the one to create the event and
Speaker 3: plant and so they were like, we like that you
Speaker 3: do that, and you can put us all in the
Speaker 3: same room and be the icebreaker. And I have the
Speaker 3: I'm a negotiator, and I know how to put together
Speaker 3: a deck and a sales pitch, and I have a
Speaker 3: business mind. So it was all of the things I
Speaker 3: love to do, and I'm a writer, so we had
Speaker 3: an editorial leg of everything, and I was just like,
Speaker 3: how fun is this? And by the way, I didn't
Speaker 3: leave my job for two years after running fashion MoMA,
Speaker 3: so I was doing both.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I was.
Speaker 3: An editor and doing fashion Mamas and it was a
Speaker 3: hard job. And I didn't ask for help during that
Speaker 3: time because I was so scared to ask for help.
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 3: Sometimes you just feel like moms sometimes feel like they
Speaker 3: have to run the world and be drained and be
Speaker 3: a shell of theirselves by the end, and that shows
Speaker 3: that you're productive. And then by twenty sixteen, I was like,
Speaker 3: maybe I should get an assistant because we actually are
Speaker 3: getting revenue. And I blew up organically. And that's my story.
Speaker 3: I don't like to share with people. Buy into me,
Speaker 3: and I'll tell you the secrets of my business. I'll
Speaker 3: tell you right now, right it's not that deep, like
Speaker 3: believe in yourself, have crazy ambition, Like ambition is like
Speaker 3: the top of the top of the top, be obsessed
Speaker 3: and you wake up if you're thinking about that when
Speaker 3: you wake up, like how can I tweak this and
Speaker 3: make it special?
Speaker 4: Then you're in the right profession.
Speaker 3: If you're like, how can I make a business to
Speaker 3: make me money? Universe will will.
Speaker 1: Be like, m You're in it for the wrong reasons.
Speaker 1: So true, It's so true.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And so here it is six hundred members in members
Speaker 3: from Austin to Australia. In LA we have four hundred
Speaker 3: members alone. And it's just been this thing where they
Speaker 3: let me be unapologetically me, and I've become more of
Speaker 3: me in twenty twenty. And yeah, it's just it's amazing
Speaker 3: that in this day and age that something like this
Speaker 3: can exist for women because I feel like I'm really
Speaker 3: helping them be more of like be their real authentic
Speaker 3: selves all the time. And I don't know, I just
Speaker 3: it's corny, but I'm just like, I just I'm at
Speaker 3: service to them and I just want women and all
Speaker 3: people to win. And I say all people because I
Speaker 3: created another community too.
Speaker 1: I know. Congratulations. I saw that. That's amazing. And what's
Speaker 1: that one called is that's that's not just for moms,
Speaker 1: that's for that's really for everyone, which is really cool.
Speaker 1: It's called Creative Career Club. And my big thing was
Speaker 1: when I was a fashion editor, I.
Speaker 3: Was writing about my favorite trans designers, my favorite male designers,
Speaker 3: my favorite women designers that happened to not be moms
Speaker 3: that happened to be moms, My favorite non binary like
Speaker 3: all people. And that's always been my core. The reason
Speaker 3: why I created fashion Mom is because I literally saw
Speaker 3: a void in the universe. Verse was like creative bitch,
Speaker 3: and so I nailed what a community takes. So I
Speaker 3: have so many friends that are just like men and
Speaker 3: women that are just like, can you ask your community
Speaker 3: if they have like a graphic designer? And I was
Speaker 3: just like, wait, I see all of these like business
Speaker 3: minded platforms.
Speaker 1: Why like is that a thing? It's like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: only female empowerment. Well, there's a little a feel of trust,
Speaker 1: like people like the trust. Yes, even though talking to
Speaker 1: Mila today, like and I'm like I feel like we've
Speaker 1: leaned on our community for things that like she did
Speaker 1: tell me this today and like and like I just
Speaker 1: feel like these are the people I want to ask. Actually, yes,
Speaker 1: they know me, they know what I like, they know
Speaker 1: what I want, Like.
Speaker 2: Like like yeah, there are people we go to we
Speaker 2: like plan Dinners in New York and say hey, just
Speaker 2: meet us and we'll see what happens. And every time
Speaker 2: it's like we have to create real friendships and real
Speaker 2: bonds because we've like gravitated towards people who are the
Speaker 2: same Jerica and Mila.
Speaker 3: I want to say one thing, no matter what someone
Speaker 3: goes like, they're onto something like badass moms, did it
Speaker 3: something that'll They'll never be as you, They'll never be you.
Speaker 3: I'm here for you, guys, like I want to hear
Speaker 3: from you and your thoughts and your unraveling and then
Speaker 3: the wins and the challenges. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: No one is youer than you.
Speaker 3: And I just feel like with fashion moments, a lot
Speaker 3: of people when I created the application form for CCC,
Speaker 3: I'll see why do you want to join?
Speaker 1: And they'll say, because you're proven that.
Speaker 3: You have a successful community and there's a lot of
Speaker 3: paid memberships out there, and you've built something that I've
Speaker 3: been watching along the way, and I want that for me.
Speaker 3: And I don't fit into the box that you've created
Speaker 3: for FM. And it's just as simple. It's not like
Speaker 3: I want to create what we're building with FM but
Speaker 3: broad in it. And it's not a wider net on
Speaker 3: purpose to drive a revenue. That's like everyone's a pond.
Speaker 3: It's like, no, you know, more people you're more than
Speaker 3: You're more than a mom. You're more than a mom.
Speaker 3: I miss it so much.
Speaker 1: I have so many friends. You have an amazing mother
Speaker 1: community and like in order to be in fashion, mama's
Speaker 1: the one requirement a is to be a mother. So yes,
Speaker 1: you've cultivated a community for motherhood and mothers, creatives and
Speaker 1: everyone alike. But like you also there's also creative side,
Speaker 1: your creative life, and a lot of times have applied
Speaker 1: for that and like God blessed it.
Speaker 3: That's awesome. There's different opportunities there. Because I want to
Speaker 3: make sure that's like loud and clear.
Speaker 1: But I have a question, how what is the application
Speaker 1: because I'm a member of sol house too, and like
Speaker 1: that was like very you know political, and I am
Speaker 1: too because in LA because I I've remember what maybe
Speaker 1: three years now, but like the l A house that
Speaker 1: was like the house is full, Like I don't know,
Speaker 1: I can.
Speaker 3: The members only community and elite anything or like exclusive anything.
Speaker 3: It causes for elitism and I've been called the world.
Speaker 1: Well look I get it. I get it, like I
Speaker 1: get cultivating a community a safe space where everyone feels
Speaker 1: safe and there's are so many different personalities and it's
Speaker 1: there's just there's there's just two different levels to this ship.
Speaker 1: I guess that's the only way I can say it.
Speaker 1: And so I understand that. So that's why I'm and like,
Speaker 1: that's why I'm curious because even like with our events,
Speaker 1: like from like me and Jamila, sometimes we would have
Speaker 1: events at my house, there's people like I don't know everyone,
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't by strangers to my home.
Speaker 3: But like it's all about strangers. It's all about vibe,
Speaker 3: and it's it's like we don't want to make.
Speaker 1: It sound like I met someone one time. Some of
Speaker 1: my best friends now.
Speaker 3: Like Nisha, I didn't like shout out an she's getting a.
Speaker 1: Moment of it, the moment she introduced.
Speaker 3: You literally know each other because of Nih.
Speaker 1: This is I'm gonna slide this in real quick. This
Speaker 1: is not a paid ad. But if you if you've
Speaker 1: heard of us talking about moms, if you've seen us
Speaker 1: post on Instagram about Nisha, she's the bitch that makes
Speaker 1: the baw mass cakes. You see.
Speaker 2: She also curates all of our events, elevated room events.
Speaker 2: She basically does everything perfect No, but if you're you're
Speaker 2: a perfectly shaped like no, she's gorgeous. Maybe he had
Speaker 2: a helmet, so I watch head.
Speaker 1: She's gorgeous, her husband's gorgeous, her child's gorgeous. It's annoying,
Speaker 1: but listen, she makes great case if you're in l
Speaker 1: A and you need baked or events or even want
Speaker 1: to plan a wedding, Like she's literally playing a wedding too,
Speaker 1: So shout out to nishe you know.
Speaker 3: And so with that said, she I didn't know her
Speaker 3: from anyone, but she joined this and I'm sure she
Speaker 3: walked in. I'm not underestimating the applicant. She walked into this,
Speaker 3: and she's just like, I will invest in something like
Speaker 3: this because I see someone like a vibe that I'm
Speaker 3: interested in. So it's more about that. It's not an elitism,
Speaker 3: it's nothing or nothing. It's like, what's your vibe. You're like,
Speaker 3: you use your voice for change and your individual in
Speaker 3: your expression. And she was just like, that's me. So
Speaker 3: if she saw a brand that she's just like, that's
Speaker 3: not for me, but I'm taking all moms, I'm taking
Speaker 3: what I can get.
Speaker 1: Give me your tuition.
Speaker 3: But she'd be like, I could feel that you guys
Speaker 3: are just down for whatever. I make a book, right,
Speaker 3: and that's not what I do. And so when women
Speaker 3: are mad that, you know, we don't accept. And by
Speaker 3: the way, it's all backgrounds of all women. And I've
Speaker 3: gotten a lot of different hate mail.
Speaker 1: And it's just like we're creating.
Speaker 3: And I don't like to say, like say family with
Speaker 3: community because it sounds like culty. But it's just like
Speaker 3: we're just creating an energy that when you're in our
Speaker 3: space you can gain something from the people you talk to.
Speaker 1: You know, you're on the same level.
Speaker 3: And it's not like you're all have one hundred thousand
Speaker 3: followers or you're all founders of this.
Speaker 1: It's not that it's what you said.
Speaker 3: It's a vibe you're curating.
Speaker 1: It's a vibe. It's yeah, but it is. It is
Speaker 1: like a fine web of like how oh this person,
Speaker 1: oh you work in this like say you work in beauty,
Speaker 1: Oh you work in you know, tech. Somehow they can
Speaker 1: still come together or like oh maybe you are in
Speaker 1: maybe you're saying at home mom, but you you know,
Speaker 1: but you're you're saying at home mom, but.
Speaker 2: Like you have.
Speaker 3: Well you're simply in the fashion creative world. Like we
Speaker 3: have a jewelry designer in the group, it's so subdued
Speaker 3: and quiet, and bless her for it. And she doesn't
Speaker 3: like speak, she's not like us, but I know that
Speaker 3: she brings something because I love what she builds and creates,
Speaker 3: and I love that she's just speaking to a spec
Speaker 3: market and we believe in that. So you're not gonna
Speaker 3: always see a girl in there that's like wearing the
Speaker 3: lowest whatever and drinking all of the things. It's not
Speaker 3: about that. It's just it's a vibe. And unless you're
Speaker 3: a community leader, like I know, it's hard to target
Speaker 3: exactly what you mean by that.
Speaker 1: But also I think, even speaking back to what you
Speaker 1: said about you know.
Speaker 2: When you get a certain age, you start to address
Speaker 2: your inner child. There's just a thing like in general,
Speaker 2: as you grow and as you hopefully as you hit
Speaker 2: different you know, you grow an age, there are things
Speaker 2: that come to forefront and things that you know are
Speaker 2: become important, one of which immediately you start to be like,
Speaker 2: who am I spending giving my energy to?
Speaker 1: Who am I around?
Speaker 2: What are they about? What are their goals? Where are
Speaker 2: they going? Where are they headed? And are we in
Speaker 2: a like minded place? When I come around you and
Speaker 2: then I leave, am I gaining. Do I feel fulfilled
Speaker 2: and happy? Do I feel like I've gained something? Have
Speaker 2: you motivated me and inspired me and left me feeling
Speaker 2: full and hungry? Because overall, like that's the goal of life,
Speaker 2: Like money, while Instagram is cool, All these things are cool,
Speaker 2: but like, do I feel good?
Speaker 1: And am I growing?
Speaker 5: And I think when you grow spiritually, you inevitably that
Speaker 5: you grow in finances in abundance because you're aligned with
Speaker 5: your purpose, You're being authentically.
Speaker 1: You, and so you know, I think people can be.
Speaker 2: Like, oh, how you know I don't have enough Instagram
Speaker 2: followers somebody that's why I'm not in the club or X,
Speaker 2: Y and Z. But it's almost like not a filtering
Speaker 2: of Yeah, Like I even tell Erica with like even
Speaker 2: with Niches, our friend, her husband Brandon, all of our
Speaker 2: friends literally were like, damn, we can go within for
Speaker 2: mostly anything a cake, an event, photography, video and production
Speaker 2: and editing, make up.
Speaker 1: I mean, if we really put.
Speaker 4: Our head, my life is a fashioned mama community, right.
Speaker 1: You curate your life in the same way that you
Speaker 1: would curate the space that you want to create.
Speaker 3: Anybody who's listening that is like, I don't understand why
Speaker 3: you don't accept everyone. Right, Think about if you were
Speaker 3: creating a community for whatever your industry is, tech or
Speaker 3: you know, kitchen whar or whatever it is. So you're
Speaker 3: telling me that you would just take any monies from
Speaker 3: people because you want to gain as many people as
Speaker 3: you want. That's not healthy for you, and that's not
Speaker 3: healthy for the person.
Speaker 1: I think also, like people would join your community and
Speaker 1: be like, I don't fit in here and then leave
Speaker 1: because the same same like people come to visit our podcast, Like,
Speaker 1: for example, we were just talking about that when we
Speaker 1: first signed up we first started our podcast. Somehow, I
Speaker 1: don't know how this happened to you guys, but we
Speaker 1: were in the religion and spiritual section of Apple Podcast. Okay,
Speaker 1: could you I don't want me to.
Speaker 3: Get more bad religious experience for me, but okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 3: I agree.
Speaker 1: But like people that are looking for God and they're
Speaker 1: listening to us, they're either gonna hate us or love us.
Speaker 1: They're gonna leave immediately, you know, Like you have to
Speaker 1: know your like we know your audience. If people like
Speaker 1: you either like good Mom's bad choices or you think
Speaker 1: we're fucking annoying, you think we're terrible parents. I don't know,
Speaker 1: but like I think, like you cut the fat off
Speaker 1: of shit when you know what your brand is. And
Speaker 1: I think knowing what your brand is this is really important.
Speaker 1: And you know, we don't really talk about like business
Speaker 1: or podcasting on this on our show a lot, but
Speaker 1: like I think even me and me and Jamille like
Speaker 1: having a brand essentially, like we've really understood like who
Speaker 1: we are, what we what we what we talk about represent,
Speaker 1: and what our topics are and it's and it's always
Speaker 1: authentic because it's authentically us. And I think that's really
Speaker 1: what it's come down to, is understanding who we are authentically.
Speaker 1: Are we perfect? Do we have it all figured out?
Speaker 1: A futly? Not right? But what I do know is that,
Speaker 1: like I know, like who I am, I'm still figuring
Speaker 1: out what I need and what I want for that person.
Speaker 1: And I think, you know, we have a platform where
Speaker 1: people join us on this journey.
Speaker 3: Do you know how much of a gift it is,
Speaker 3: by the way, ladies, to give your whole selves and
Speaker 3: share this. There's so many people that feel this inside
Speaker 3: what you guys are sharing, and they just hold it
Speaker 3: in because they're just like unpolished. I got my shit together,
Speaker 3: and you're just like, I got my shit together, but
Speaker 3: here are the things that are unraveling lately. And that's
Speaker 3: such a gift to know how to articulate it.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's articulation. I mean maybe sometimes
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is. Honestly, it's it's there.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 1: It's there, and our community has meant so much we
Speaker 1: have this. Honestly, sometimes I call it accidental. I guess
Speaker 1: it was accidental at first, but now it's very intentional.
Speaker 1: And I think like with that intentionality is that a
Speaker 1: word with it comes comes that like protection, and comes
Speaker 1: that like curation and like, so going back to like
Speaker 1: how you curate your brand, like I understand it. I
Speaker 1: get it and like and.
Speaker 3: I'll take all of the like l's along the way
Speaker 3: that people are just like I get it all, like
Speaker 3: I'll get all of the hate mail. Just it's just
Speaker 3: it's so important in the end to make sure that
Speaker 3: the crew feels feels like cohesive, right because I just
Speaker 3: can't yell louder that Okay, you know what, free reign.
Speaker 3: The community will come in, you'll pop in that like
Speaker 3: I admire greatly, and you'll just be like, literally, it's
Speaker 3: a free for all peace you really all want. And
Speaker 3: you know what, there's something like that, and I don't
Speaker 3: think it should be paid. If it's for everyone, I
Speaker 3: don't think any like something like that should be paid.
Speaker 2: And also, you know what, it's a good like it's
Speaker 2: a it's a good check, you know, like not check
Speaker 2: like it checks you, because I think even for us.
Speaker 3: Like, oh wow, this is very classy, this is very elegant.
Speaker 3: These women are very smart and expensive fit.
Speaker 2: I don't like it.
Speaker 3: Actually no, but no, but but I'm saying it actually
Speaker 3: grime to no.
Speaker 1: No, remember the first spash Moms and that even even come.
Speaker 1: I came to a photo shoot and I left you
Speaker 1: in the car. Oh yeah, I was so cut that
Speaker 1: you had to take her. I don't know where.
Speaker 3: I just wat to the bathroom, but we stopped that
Speaker 3: you stayed in.
Speaker 1: We would have I don't have it. I don't pay
Speaker 1: the membership. I'm not going to come in.
Speaker 3: I didn't know.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't know ticket. It was me.
Speaker 1: It was my fault. I literally was like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: just back, I wasn't with me. Actually it was like
Speaker 1: I took a solo picture I remember because that's where
Speaker 1: I met.
Speaker 2: So it was like in the city, yes, yeah, story,
Speaker 2: and it's like I left a facial place in the front.
Speaker 1: It was like yeah, and I'm.
Speaker 3: Laughing at myself thinking about it.
Speaker 1: Go ahead, no, And it's funny because it all comes
Speaker 1: full circle because, like I told, because I had never
Speaker 1: been to like I think even maybe just i'd never
Speaker 1: really been.
Speaker 4: That was after I didn't know how fucking memberships go.
Speaker 1: I was like, you stay here. Well, well, I think
Speaker 1: the whole thing is like it.
Speaker 2: Can seem really intimidating, but it doesn't have to know
Speaker 2: it isn't And like I think I think as even
Speaker 2: as well. And we're in a community where we encourage
Speaker 2: like a safe space and non judgment and all these things.
Speaker 3: But like as soon as we got to that event,
Speaker 3: mam arz.
Speaker 2: Like I was like, everybody's cool, and I like everyone
Speaker 2: looks every you know, you have you build up this
Speaker 2: thing in your mind and like you see these women,
Speaker 2: You're like, well, what's the requirements to get in here?
Speaker 3: I think it's an impression that people, if it's something successful,
Speaker 3: it must be uptight or it must write. But then
Speaker 3: you get there and it's just like a group of
Speaker 3: cool working with brands, and they spend a lot of money,
Speaker 3: and I'm just like, guess what, We're never going to
Speaker 3: change our lucy goosey ways. We're just going to be ourselves.
Speaker 3: And that's the thing that we're trying to change that
Speaker 3: connotation because I think a lot of brands you think,
Speaker 3: you go and you're like, I'm just like, did you
Speaker 3: see me at the last summit in March?
Speaker 1: Like I was late to the.
Speaker 3: Summit because I was on edibles and I told everyone
Speaker 3: there and I'm just like, I am so because I
Speaker 3: heard a COVID thing. But we're it's not going to
Speaker 3: bother us, right, And then that weekend we got locked down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, so what happened? So she stayed in
Speaker 1: the car the car I took.
Speaker 3: You hate the like, no, no baby was she was
Speaker 3: a tiny one.
Speaker 1: I didn't have. Actually, I now think about it, I
Speaker 1: didn't have my daughter there. No, No, I had, Okay,
Speaker 1: But I met ur Tiera and I just remember her
Speaker 1: daughter had her hair was so beautifully braided, and I
Speaker 1: was like.
Speaker 3: She does every she's another one because every.
Speaker 1: No and then and your community has connected to so
Speaker 1: many people because then artieras start to work with Nisha
Speaker 1: like your community, like because of the way that you
Speaker 1: run it, it really truly is impactful. And that's really
Speaker 1: what I think you're trying to do is like be
Speaker 1: impactful and be useful and like make like beneficial connections network.
Speaker 3: A member applies, I'm already playing matchmaker and I'm already
Speaker 3: like who would she buy with? And like what would
Speaker 3: they create together? And the moment that happens and you
Speaker 3: manifested it upon application, you're just like, yeah, and there's
Speaker 3: a MoMA matchmaker system now.
Speaker 4: Really, you know, we love an astrology or a connection.
Speaker 3: Literally the other day, like she was like.
Speaker 1: I don't know what what the fuck is his rising sign?
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know, but you know him.
Speaker 4: She's like, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if I
Speaker 4: know him. I need to know what the internet says?
Speaker 1: What does the connection? What did the stars say?
Speaker 3: What does that start saying?
Speaker 2: Matter?
Speaker 3: You get it and what you're creating is the same
Speaker 3: way you wouldn't just let any person in just because
Speaker 3: you want to. It's quality over quantity, and quality doesn't
Speaker 3: mean you've got to look a certain way.
Speaker 1: It's a fine I feel like you have to look
Speaker 1: at your brand, no matter how large or extensive it is,
Speaker 1: Like you look at your circle, what is it that?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 1: How who do you want in your circle?
Speaker 6: Like?
Speaker 1: You don't want everybody in your circle? Are you a
Speaker 1: bitch because you don't want to be friends with everybody? No,
Speaker 1: Like you can love people from Afar, you can support
Speaker 1: people from Afar, but not everybody needs to be in circle.
Speaker 3: Point of that, though, there are people that are like,
Speaker 3: I'll take anything, and but the thing is, I don't
Speaker 3: know about you, but I'm very skeptical of that, so
Speaker 3: they'll want to.
Speaker 4: I think when you create something meaningful, money will.
Speaker 2: Come, yes, and then and then and then it will
Speaker 2: come naturally because you're you're so passionate about what you're doing.
Speaker 3: And then the number one thing when I read so
Speaker 3: the important thing. I don't know if anyone's building a
Speaker 3: community listening, but the most important thing to add on
Speaker 3: your application is why do you want to join? I
Speaker 3: know it sounds like they're gonna you just want me
Speaker 3: to kiss your ass, but it's really that you want
Speaker 3: to know why they want to joy? What are they
Speaker 3: missing in their life? And it's data for you. And
Speaker 3: what I always hear is like, I haven't found this group,
Speaker 3: or there's a lot of groups, but I see that
Speaker 3: you guys are pro cannabis, or I see that you
Speaker 3: guys are activists, and you're just like, okay, I'm in
Speaker 3: the right direction.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: Sometimes there are women that are to know what I wrote.
Speaker 1: I was literally, what was your answer? I think you
Speaker 1: asked me.
Speaker 3: Application? I mean, a mom crew, it's so weird.
Speaker 1: What should I write? I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I really want to know what I wrote. Maybe you
Speaker 1: can find it. Wait, I want you to find it.
Speaker 1: It's an email.
Speaker 3: I was just like, but I have a gangster research
Speaker 3: and so I could.
Speaker 1: Find it, right. I don't want well.
Speaker 3: I was just like on Erica's go too, because I
Speaker 3: guess I didn't care about.
Speaker 1: Going to the party in mam Rag. I just stayed
Speaker 1: in the car.
Speaker 3: Are you sure you have a plus?
Speaker 1: Because I was like, my husband noticed you guys. I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, no, I'm part of this community.
Speaker 4: I was like, I've never been to any of the events.
Speaker 1: I probably need to go. I was like, we're going.
Speaker 1: I was like, are you sure I can come? And
Speaker 1: then I was like, are the kids going to be there?
Speaker 3: I think I was wearing like a sea through pink
Speaker 3: hot pink to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you were actually was.
Speaker 3: I was like, let me put let me put on
Speaker 3: a shirt underneath because my nipples are on.
Speaker 1: And then I was like women brought their kids to Coachella. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then but they we're the only ones without our
Speaker 1: kids and were and that was a few though, but
Speaker 1: that but that I love too, because like even before
Speaker 1: then though, like I've been going to Coachella since I
Speaker 1: was like maybe seven seventeen, Like Natalie here doing it
Speaker 1: in the car. Yeah, I remember until I went to
Speaker 1: like I think Coldplay was playing. It was like two thousand.
Speaker 3: This is such an ut radio baby boy, oh wait?
Speaker 1: And I saw them too.
Speaker 2: But I.
Speaker 1: I remember before I had kids, seeing someone a child.
Speaker 1: I'll never forget this visual because I had never seen
Speaker 1: it before. I was like this god father and his
Speaker 1: son on his on his back, and the son had
Speaker 1: like the head and the rackchella. And I was on
Speaker 1: drugs for sure, and I was like, what the fuck
Speaker 1: the other kids?
Speaker 3: But isn't that just powerful?
Speaker 2: Wait?
Speaker 1: But but I was even at that point, like I
Speaker 1: was judging for sure, uncause I had no kids, and
Speaker 1: I was probably on the dasted or something. But also
Speaker 1: I was like, it's kind of like I want to
Speaker 1: bring my kids, but then every time I means to go,
Speaker 1: it's like it's perfectly at the time where like we
Speaker 1: need a fucking break.
Speaker 3: Last year, my husband that was the same the kid bro.
Speaker 1: Actually, you should listen to that episode because that it's
Speaker 1: actually one of our like most epic episodes called Momchella.
Speaker 3: Yeay yeah, and we're and we hit you with it,
Speaker 3: like we go down exactly what we did and you're
Speaker 3: in there. Did you have like a fear and loathing
Speaker 3: in Las Vegas vibe?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 1: Like yeah, wait, we took We did a lot of
Speaker 1: drugs by accident one day, by accident, on purpose.
Speaker 3: We took them voluntarily.
Speaker 1: And then yeah, it was it was, it was. It
Speaker 1: was pretty up. But your events, I mean, but your
Speaker 1: event was a highlight because it was so beautiful, beautifully curated,
Speaker 1: and I saw children there at Essentially what our brand
Speaker 1: is about, which is like being able to do both,
Speaker 1: being to go to a music festival but still bring
Speaker 1: your kids and have your partner there or not, you know,
Speaker 1: and like have fun and that's okay, you can do both.
Speaker 1: It's hard to fuck to do both.
Speaker 3: But it's important, but you can.
Speaker 1: It's important to sometimes get sucked up. Still, sometimes you
Speaker 1: gotta bring that kid to the birthday party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and sometimes I like, you need to train your
Speaker 2: kids to be cool. Okay, you need to train your kids.
Speaker 2: Like we're gonna get to the party, and I'm gonna
Speaker 2: let you stay up late, but go find the other
Speaker 2: kids and then go away. Or if there are no kids, yeah,
Speaker 2: sleep in different beds if I tell you to go
Speaker 2: to sleep.
Speaker 3: Just a birthday party last weekend, socially distant birthday party,
Speaker 3: masks on and my son saw that there was wine
Speaker 3: in the corner and he's like, Mommy, do you want
Speaker 3: my mom juice? And he went to go get it
Speaker 3: for me and he gave it to me. Wait wait, wait.
Speaker 1: We went to a party let from like a neighbor
Speaker 1: in the neighborhood.
Speaker 2: I didn't know them well, but it was like a
Speaker 2: very small social distancing party whatever. And I was having
Speaker 2: a bad day and I was just waiting to get
Speaker 2: to this party. This is me being judgmental. And there
Speaker 2: were black people. I'm like, they're definitely go a least
Speaker 2: have like wine at the party. For sure, it's going
Speaker 2: to be like an adult but kid party. So I
Speaker 2: get to the fucking party. There's no fucking line. I'm kissed,
Speaker 2: but I'm.
Speaker 1: There, so you know.
Speaker 2: And then anyway, I've started to like let go of
Speaker 2: the wine. I fucking drank her pres sonds then and
Speaker 2: I met other cool moms. You know that we had
Speaker 2: meaningful conversations. In my opinion, and even in those conversations,
Speaker 2: I had kind of judged you when they walked in
Speaker 2: about what I thought they were going to be, and
Speaker 2: they're actually all really cool. And I find myself doing
Speaker 2: that and then realizing it, you know, but like I
Speaker 2: don't know the point of this is, Well, if they
Speaker 2: didn't have wine at the party.
Speaker 1: Well, I think. Also also, it's like that even when
Speaker 1: you are us who are not supposed to be just rental,
Speaker 1: we can be sometimes and be surprised by the women
Speaker 1: that we meet.
Speaker 3: Right and now I want to because you want and
Speaker 3: Sharon shot on my therapist, I'm always like sharing says,
Speaker 3: we reject ourselves almost because we just don't want to
Speaker 3: face the rejection if it happens. So like, there'll be
Speaker 3: times where I walk into like this cookie cutter events.
Speaker 3: It's kind of like where's the wine and already be
Speaker 3: the problem because I just want to like shake it
Speaker 3: up at that moment and let them hate me because
Speaker 3: they're gonna hate me eventually. It's like I'm gonna already
Speaker 3: say it. But then I find that one girl's like right,
Speaker 3: and I'm just like babe, and it's her party right
Speaker 3: right right, It's like there she is, Let's go to
Speaker 3: the corner and smoke and we'll be right then exactly
Speaker 3: guess why we are running our ship and doing it.
Speaker 3: But it's just like you feel that, and it's just
Speaker 3: like I always feel that the moment I walk into
Speaker 3: a room, and that's my own triggers that I need
Speaker 3: to unwrap.
Speaker 1: I think that's great.
Speaker 4: Tying up the boat of this episode is like that
Speaker 4: you can't judge other moms because.
Speaker 1: You just don't know. You really don't know to talk no,
Speaker 1: and energy is important and connection is important and community
Speaker 1: is important, and that's why conversations are important because you
Speaker 1: meet people when you talk to them and you're like
Speaker 1: ohh and they call back that mushroom layer, whether you
Speaker 1: took them or not, and then they show you like, noah, bitch,
Speaker 1: you were wrong.
Speaker 2: And sometimes it is such a projection of self, and
Speaker 2: my therapist shout out to Isaiah said the same thing
Speaker 2: to me this week.
Speaker 1: He was like, you know, I noticed you you don't
Speaker 1: like to be being told what to do.
Speaker 2: I had a dream and he was like, dismantling my dream,
Speaker 2: because that's what hypnotherapy does, tells you about your subconscious
Speaker 2: and he was like, you sound like because in the
Speaker 2: dream I was like I was in the forest and
Speaker 2: then went to the airport and I was the only
Speaker 2: one who had money. And he was like, you sound
Speaker 2: like you feel like you don't have a lot of support.
Speaker 2: And then he said, sometimes do you think are you
Speaker 2: being your authentic self or do you think you expect
Speaker 2: people to judge you? And that's why you have this
Speaker 2: thought of you don't want to be told what to do,
Speaker 2: and so you have kind of maybe a rebellious nature.
Speaker 2: And at first, like it seemed accurate, but it also
Speaker 2: was like a lot of words. But now Sharon and
Speaker 2: you are confirming that it's true. Everything everything is and
Speaker 2: a projection how we feel our judgment as getting angry,
Speaker 2: getting up to the punch.
Speaker 3: Yes, we're just like, let me define me before you
Speaker 3: start putting words in my mouth like this is me.
Speaker 3: I'm shaking shit up, you know what I mean, and
Speaker 3: like parting words. But like we success comes in so
Speaker 3: many ways. You can be as successful without the trauma,
Speaker 3: you could be as successful with the trauma and your
Speaker 3: party favors. You can be all the things. It's your
Speaker 3: ambition that gets you there. And just believe that you
Speaker 3: can do it and don't let anyone fucking tell you
Speaker 3: that you can do it right. It's absolutely possible. And
Speaker 3: if you need support, there are so many communities. There's
Speaker 3: good moms, bad choices, there's fashion moms, there's creative career club.
Speaker 3: There's so many ways you can go. There is help,
Speaker 3: and I don't think you can do it alone.
Speaker 1: You can't.
Speaker 2: You you become empowered within your community, and I'm sure
Speaker 2: I need to see that.
Speaker 1: Yes I needed like, oh there's other women.
Speaker 2: Like literally, even even when me and Eric had first
Speaker 2: started this, I don't think we really realized what we
Speaker 2: had embarked on. We're just like, let's do this thing.
Speaker 2: We didn't know it's going to be a whole thing.
Speaker 2: And I think maybe the first week we put out
Speaker 2: the episode, like only our friends are going to listen,
Speaker 2: you know, like hopefully not our moms. And just randomly
Speaker 2: we got a couple of d ms, like from like
Speaker 2: Nellie in Florida, who's like my friend, now you know
Speaker 2: what I'm saying, and like Rainy in Australia, and it
Speaker 2: was like these little universal messages that was like keep going,
Speaker 2: this is important. This is important because there's somewhere somewhere
Speaker 2: who gives a fuck up that you're fucking up, and
Speaker 2: so were they.
Speaker 3: And this is the absolutely GMBC till I die, Fashion Mamas,
Speaker 3: all right, hold till tilburd in the dirt.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming.
Speaker 3: This was so fun. Natalie Alcala n A t A
Speaker 3: l i e A l c A l A. And
Speaker 3: at Fashion Mamas, you know how to say that. And
Speaker 3: at Creative Career Club, mama's m A m A okay, see.
Speaker 1: Yes, Eric gets so mad at me. It is m
Speaker 1: A m A right, yes, m m O M m A.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what the so mad? I get so irritated.
Speaker 1: Even like when we're creating merch sometimes it tries to
Speaker 1: sneak in the m O M m A like bitch,
Speaker 1: No one spells it that way. M A m A right.
Speaker 4: It's modern it's modern, it's more okay, I thoughd.
Speaker 1: G M b C.
Speaker 2: You know where to find us at Good Mom's Underscore
Speaker 2: Bad Choices and join our newsletter at Good Moms, Bad
Speaker 2: Choices dot com.
Speaker 1: And make sure you join Patreon. You guys, we have
Speaker 1: tons and tons of secret episodes on Patreon that you
Speaker 1: you just don't hear everything here. I mean I think
Speaker 1: you think you do, but you're really hear all the ship.
Speaker 1: Like there's a lot of personal ship over there. I
Speaker 1: can't hate.
Speaker 3: I know, I always do this. He gets so mad.
Speaker 1: I want to commit.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna commit. I'm gonna ask Natalie, will you do
Speaker 3: take off my shirt?
Speaker 1: No, you're me and like I always wantsh sh.
Speaker 3: My boes when nobody asked.
Speaker 1: We also do Friends Good Friends after Dark.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'll do anything. Okay, So even if
Speaker 3: it's just.
Speaker 2: A zoom, like maybe you and your husband can come
Speaker 2: on since he has this iconic game and this great slur.
Speaker 1: Because I always want.
Speaker 2: To talk more and so we also include more of talking,
Speaker 2: more intimate personal talk.
Speaker 3: Blood will come on and speaking.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: We have a segment on on Patreon called Good Moms
Speaker 1: after Dark where we interview our friends, like our homies,
Speaker 1: and we just talk and we just get a little more.
Speaker 1: Just dig in there, we get we're getting more deep.
Speaker 1: We can't let to be honest, we just get drunk.
Speaker 2: We talk.
Speaker 1: Wild. You can, but you can find us on Patreon
Speaker 1: at patreon dot com backslash good Mom's Bad Choices. You
Speaker 1: have to actually put that in your space bar because
Speaker 1: apparently we're explicit.
Speaker 3: You believe it.
Speaker 4: You can serch us shock anyway, guys, We will see
Speaker 4: you next week.
Speaker 1: Bye.
Speaker 2: Hey guys, have you joined Patreon, where we offer even
Speaker 2: more juicy content.
Speaker 1: Yes, y'all. We have secret episodes, secret segments, and some
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Speaker 6: So I did Playboy and then I become a mom
Speaker 6: and do Playboy. Where's the difference?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 6: And you know he didn't know how to answer the question.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's also yeah, asking them like what
Speaker 1: would make you say this or what makes you feel
Speaker 1: a certain way? It has a lot to do with
Speaker 1: men in their own insecurities.
Speaker 6: Men's insecurities. But I think a lot of the things
Speaker 6: that we don't realize is men's ideas of the women
Speaker 6: that they're with. Decidally, where we've all got to unlearn
Speaker 6: that that's what you guys do, right. It's like, what
Speaker 6: is a mom supposed to do? Not talk about sucking
Speaker 6: dick anymore because I have breast milk still in there,
Speaker 6: like