WEBVTT - Newborn Sleep 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:08.920 Oh, baby, my baby, I need you, Oh how I 0:00:09.119 --> 0:00:13.000 need you? What do you expect? As a production of 0:00:13.119 --> 0:00:17.119 I Heart Radio, I'm your host Heidi Murkoff and I'm 0:00:17.160 --> 0:00:19.760 a mom on a mission, a mission to help you 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:25.439 know what to expect every step of the way. A 0:00:25.920 --> 0:00:30.600 sleeping like a baby sounds so peaceful until you actually 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:33.480 see a baby sleeping, and then you realize it's anything 0:00:33.640 --> 0:00:37.360 but peaceful, as you probably noticed the first time you 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:41.640 stood over your newborn's bassonet, wondering why her rest was 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:46.000 so restless and so noisy, and so many whimpers and 0:00:46.080 --> 0:00:49.920 squeaks and strange little breathing sounds, you know, the ones 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:53.240 that keep you standing over her bassonet in the first place, 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:57.840 and so much waking. Yes, newborns sleep a lot, but 0:00:58.160 --> 0:01:02.680 usually not for more than two three hours tops at 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:06.000 a time, which explains why you're so tired with your 0:01:06.040 --> 0:01:10.800 sleepy little bundle rousing often for feeds and changes and cuddles. 0:01:10.840 --> 0:01:13.600 A full night's sleep for you, or even a nice 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:17.480 long nap maybe, but a parental pipe dream for now. 0:01:17.800 --> 0:01:21.120 And though you knew this new tired normal was coming, 0:01:21.640 --> 0:01:25.600 you might not have expected exactly how exhausting it would 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:30.240 be to care for newborn who spends so much time asleep, 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:34.080 you might even be wondering when or even if your 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:37.600 little one will actually sleep through the night, and when 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:43.400 you'll feel comfortable letting her sleep without watching her baby steps. 0:01:43.880 --> 0:01:47.480 You will get there eventually, I promise, But I'm not 0:01:47.520 --> 0:01:51.200 gonna lie by eventually. I am not talking weeks, I'm 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:56.120 talking months. But in the meantime, we are diving deep 0:01:56.320 --> 0:02:01.000 today into newborn sleep. How much, how often, how to 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:04.160 do it safely and if and when? And how to 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:10.600 start making bed times and naptimes routine? Getting sleepier already, 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:16.399 let's get started. I'm here with Emma. Sorry, I fell asleep. Good. 0:02:16.480 --> 0:02:18.760 Then we're off to a good start. You knew it 0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:22.320 wasn't gonna be easy to get newborns to sleep. Do 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:26.000 you think that it was harder than you actually expected? Yeah, 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:30.480 you don't really know until it's happening. I'm one who 0:02:30.639 --> 0:02:34.680 enjoys her sleep, and so after I had Lennox, I 0:02:34.760 --> 0:02:37.760 was desperate to literally do anything I possibly could do 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:40.720 to get them to sleep. So I broke every single 0:02:40.840 --> 0:02:45.040 cardinal rule, every single thing that you're not supposed to do. 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:48.239 I did just so I could sleep. You know, it's 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:51.760 survival of the sleepiest, you could say, when you're a 0:02:51.800 --> 0:02:54.839 new mom, So whatever gets to you through the night, 0:02:55.800 --> 0:02:59.720 it's all right, yes, so, but it's how long you 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:01.960 keep up those half as they think, that probably matters. 0:03:02.120 --> 0:03:03.720 What were some of the things that you did with 0:03:03.840 --> 0:03:09.280 Lennox that maybe you didn't necessarily regret, but regret later 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:12.800 on when they became habits. Well, Lennox didn't sleep in 0:03:12.840 --> 0:03:16.000 his crib or bass net. Lennox left in my arms, 0:03:16.120 --> 0:03:19.360 and that went on for a very very long time, 0:03:19.680 --> 0:03:23.040 like maybe a year ish, and so I really set 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:24.960 him up for disaster when it came to sleep. He 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:27.000 wasn't sleep tray until he was like four years old. 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:30.120 And that was not a mistake I was going to make. 0:03:30.160 --> 0:03:32.000 With Seby. I was like, not again. This took like 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:35.680 fifteen years off my life, the exhaustion. I learned a 0:03:35.720 --> 0:03:38.080 lot of lessons. I always rocked him to sleep in 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:40.320 my arms. He never napped in his crib. He only 0:03:40.440 --> 0:03:43.560 napped on me. And so one thing that I was 0:03:43.720 --> 0:03:46.040 adamant about with Seby is that he's going to learn 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:49.880 how to put himself to sleep. Lennox didn't get that advantage. 0:03:49.920 --> 0:03:52.960 Oh my gosh, I literally drove every single day for 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:55.600 three hours so he would sleep. Eventually he slept in 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:58.200 the car. I made every single classic mistake you could 0:03:58.240 --> 0:04:01.480 possibly make. When you were a baby. We lived in 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:04.280 New York City, so we didn't have a car. What 0:04:04.480 --> 0:04:07.960 I would do, I would put you in the stroller 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:11.600 and I would walk around. So actually it's better for 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:15.200 my health than driving around. But on a hot day, 0:04:15.480 --> 0:04:17.839 nothing like it. Let me tell you, I would like 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:20.000 freak out because anytime the car would stop at a 0:04:20.120 --> 0:04:23.320 stop way, I would like freak out, like gonna wake up? 0:04:23.440 --> 0:04:26.400 Why did you put this stop sign? Right? The same 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:29.080 thing in New York City is a I'd have to 0:04:29.279 --> 0:04:32.320 like be super gentle going over the curbs with the stroller, 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:35.440 and there were always potholes. But the other thing, you 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:38.800 have to stop for the light, for the pedestrian crossing lights, 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:41.520 and so it was a struggle. And then I'd go 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:45.080 into a store with the stroller and you'd immediately wake up, 0:04:45.120 --> 0:04:48.479 so I couldn't even do my shopping good times. So 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:55.440 what did you do differently with sev Sev From the beginning? Okay, 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:57.880 now I'm lying. Now I'm lying for a few months 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.120 until my husband yelled at me to rock him to 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:02.640 sleep in my arms, and he knacked on me. I 0:05:02.720 --> 0:05:05.000 did give it up. I ripped off the band aid 0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:07.760 and he started to sleep in his crib and he 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:10.120 put himself to sleep. And to this day he is 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:13.320 an amazing sleeper. He puts himself to sleep. He is 0:05:13.680 --> 0:05:15.839 my son where he looks nothing like me, but he 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:19.080 can sleep like his mother. I set him up for 0:05:19.200 --> 0:05:23.480 a good, healthy life of sleep sleep success. Watch tonight, 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:27.520 He's gonna be up all night Murphy's law. Absolutely. And 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:30.480 you know with you, guys, I do remember we did 0:05:30.560 --> 0:05:34.880 sleep training with you when you were about maybe four months, 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:39.240 five months, and then you slept well after that until 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:42.440 you started coming back into our bed when you were 0:05:42.839 --> 0:05:46.040 able to. That was super tough for you to quit. 0:05:46.080 --> 0:05:48.520 I think you were twelve and you stopped doing that. 0:05:48.720 --> 0:05:52.479 Maybe yeah, So I'd say that was some mistake, but 0:05:52.800 --> 0:05:56.800 no guilt, live and learn, learn exactly. I would say 0:05:57.000 --> 0:06:00.800 I made more of those mistakes the first time. Typically, 0:06:01.000 --> 0:06:04.320 do make more mistakes with your first one. Same yeah, yeah, 0:06:04.360 --> 0:06:07.080 And I'm putting mistakes in air quotes because you know, 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:09.919 it's not that you make mistakes, it's that you learn 0:06:10.160 --> 0:06:13.760 on the job, and it's a steep learning curve, especially 0:06:13.839 --> 0:06:16.800 when it comes to things like this. Yeah, especially when 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:21.200 you're tired. Yeah, And it's again with the desperate times, 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:24.440 and desperate parents take desperate measures. And the other thing 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:27.600 is you're trying to find the past of least resistance 0:06:27.760 --> 0:06:31.039 to sleep, and the past to least resistance with a 0:06:31.080 --> 0:06:34.000 baby or with a toddler is probably going to be 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:38.839 in your arms or with some other kind of comforting habits. 0:06:38.839 --> 0:06:42.440 So you take the easy street when you're a parent sometimes, Oh, 0:06:42.520 --> 0:06:44.440 yes you do. And you know, the whole time I'm 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:46.159 sitting there, I'm like, Oh, he's only gonna be a 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:49.159 baby one this is what I tell myself, so I 0:06:49.160 --> 0:06:51.680 don't feel like the thing that's not gonna end up 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:54.600 going so great eventually. Yeah, the thing is they're not 0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:56.680 going to be a baby for long, but they'll keep 0:06:56.720 --> 0:07:00.479 those habits for a lifetime. Exactly exactly. We're gonna try 0:07:00.520 --> 0:07:04.400 to take easy street, give you some good tips along 0:07:04.440 --> 0:07:07.040 the way that will make it even easier and hopefully 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:10.360 get your child to develop some good sleep habits. So 0:07:10.360 --> 0:07:13.080 we're gonna take a quick break, and when week come back, 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:17.520 I am answering the biggest questions you have about your 0:07:17.560 --> 0:07:33.120 newborn sleep and yours. Okay, mom, so this is my 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:36.640 favorite topic because it's sleep and if there's one thing 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:40.320 that I like, it's sleep. Let's go through some of 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:44.080 the biggest questions our listeners have about their newborn sleep. 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:48.080 How many hours should a newborn baby be sleeping? Well, 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:51.119 sleep is definitely job one for babies, so they spend 0:07:51.160 --> 0:07:56.080 more time sleeping than doing anything else, even feeding. My god, 0:07:56.560 --> 0:08:02.600 how do I apply for this job? I think you 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:06.640 exceed the age requirement? But yeah, they feedle up, but 0:08:06.680 --> 0:08:09.680 they don't feed as much as they sleep. About sixteen 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:13.680 out of every twenty four hours are spent sleeping, and 0:08:13.720 --> 0:08:16.320 that's really for a good reason, because sleep is when 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:18.840 babies do some of their best growing and some of 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:21.960 their best developing, So it is always time well spent, 0:08:22.640 --> 0:08:26.720 as it should be, especially when it's interspersed with frequent feedings, 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:29.320 and breastfed babies are gonna need those feedings even more 0:08:29.320 --> 0:08:32.840 than formula fed babies. And all newborns are sleepy. That's 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:35.160 the way they're born, and that's so that they can 0:08:35.200 --> 0:08:38.359 do all that important growing and developing. But some newborns 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:42.880 are actually especially sleepy and early on. Some babies are 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:47.720 completely content to sleep through feeds, and they actually shouldn't 0:08:47.760 --> 0:08:51.560 do that. It sounds counterintuitive, but it's really important to 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:54.360 wake a sleepyhead for feeds if he doesn't wake up 0:08:54.360 --> 0:08:57.360 on his own and he doesn't demand them himself. It's 0:08:57.400 --> 0:09:01.280 not easy. You can try unswaddling some skin to skin, 0:09:01.440 --> 0:09:04.680 a cool cloth, sitting baby up in your lap, of course, 0:09:04.720 --> 0:09:08.319 supported that might help. And here's the trick. It's way 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:12.360 easier to wake a baby up from rapid eye movement 0:09:12.559 --> 0:09:15.640 rem sleep active sleep than it is during deep sleep. 0:09:15.760 --> 0:09:19.000 Deep sleep is a beast to try to wake them 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:22.720 up from old habits die hard, Yes they do, okay, 0:09:22.760 --> 0:09:25.600 So what about all that moving around and all those 0:09:25.600 --> 0:09:29.280 sounds they're making when they're sleeping. Babies are notorious dunes 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:34.280 and that weird breathing that always made me panic. It 0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:36.840 makes everybody panic. Remember all that rum sleep that you 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:39.360 did during pregnancy, that was the reason you did all 0:09:39.400 --> 0:09:42.240 the tossing and turning. Well that in the hartburn and 0:09:42.280 --> 0:09:44.800 the being all night. But that was dream sleep. That's 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:46.840 the rem sleep. And so if you ever stood over 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:49.640 sleeping baby, and oh my god, if you haven't done that, 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:53.839 you absolutely should, because that's when you see those little 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:58.360 eyelids moving around and those ridiculously cute faces that they make, 0:09:58.400 --> 0:10:01.040 those little pouts and the smile those and the frowns 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:03.680 and the puckers, and that's when they make all of 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:06.520 those precious little sounds, those little squeaks that make you 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:09.600 melt into a pool of slush, and for us it's 0:10:09.679 --> 0:10:13.760 just point cute. But baby brains are actually working overtime 0:10:13.880 --> 0:10:15.920 during rem sleep. That's when babies do a lot of 0:10:15.920 --> 0:10:19.840 their serious brain development. They're learning and processing information that 0:10:19.880 --> 0:10:22.080 they soak up when they're awake, so it's never a 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:26.400 waste of time. In fact, interestingly enough, premise do more 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:30.000 of that REM sleep, and that's probably because their brains 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:33.120 need that extra development time that they otherwise would have 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:36.480 gotten on the inside. Now, something else you might notice 0:10:36.480 --> 0:10:39.360 while you're watching and listening your baby sleep is how 0:10:39.559 --> 0:10:43.920 irregular your baby's breathing is. During active sleep, it can 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:47.520 seem really rapid, it can seem very shallow, and then 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:51.520 you have those long pauses between breasts, and that's where 0:10:51.559 --> 0:10:54.280 parents often go into panic mode. And then you hear 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:58.040 those occasional little snorts and grunts, But all of that 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:00.439 is normal. That's the good news. It's not going to 0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:03.960 stop you from standing over the bassinet anytime soon. But 0:11:04.080 --> 0:11:07.400 it's normal. It's called periodic breathing, and it's standard for 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:10.440 newborns when they're in the ram phase. And of course 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:13.640 then you have deep sleep, which babies alternate with active sleep, 0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:16.800 and they do that about every thirty minutes. Deep sleep. 0:11:17.480 --> 0:11:20.920 It's also going to make you panic occasionally because they 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:26.360 sleep so soundly, they're so still there, breathing is so 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:29.560 quiet that sometimes you have to just give them a 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:32.520 little jiggle to make sure they're still breathing. Not that 0:11:32.600 --> 0:11:37.720 I've ever done that, Yeah, me neither, No, never done that. Okay, 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:42.000 So should we really wait out the whimpers before picking 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:44.319 them up? Or should we just go in here to kill? 0:11:45.679 --> 0:11:47.760 I mean, we all learn this eventually, but I'm trying 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:49.840 to help my sisters and brothers out so you don't 0:11:49.840 --> 0:11:52.480 have to learn the hard way. Unless it's time to 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:55.160 wake up for feed, wait to pick up your baby 0:11:55.200 --> 0:11:58.200 if they're just doing that little light whimpering, that fussing, 0:11:58.240 --> 0:11:59.760 because they're going to do a lot of that when 0:11:59.760 --> 0:12:02.640 they're and rem sleep and they might still be sleeping 0:12:02.679 --> 0:12:04.680 and if they're still sleeping and you jump in to 0:12:04.760 --> 0:12:07.040 pick them up, then you're going to interrupt that sleep. 0:12:07.080 --> 0:12:09.679 So it's not the same as crying it out at all. 0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:13.280 We're not even going they're not at all at this point. 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.680 But those little whimpers when they're still sleeping, you don't 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:19.040 have to necessarily pick them up right away, and you're 0:12:19.040 --> 0:12:22.679 going to figure out the difference between crying and whimpering, 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:26.120 and you know that sleepy fussing pretty soon, and when 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:29.480 they fall and cry, that's when you pick them up, unless, 0:12:29.480 --> 0:12:31.520 of course, it's time for feet. If if it's time 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:33.280 for a feet, then you go for it anyway and 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:34.920 wake them up, and it's going to be easier to 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:38.240 wake them up during rem sleep. But sleeping like a baby, 0:12:38.320 --> 0:12:41.160 that is a load of crap because they are super 0:12:41.200 --> 0:12:45.000 super noisy when they sleep. Okay, so mixing up days 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:49.960 and nights, why do newborns do that? And what can 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:54.079 be as parents do? So you did this? Why I 0:12:54.200 --> 0:12:56.560 did this? Most babies do this if you think about it, 0:12:56.800 --> 0:13:01.280 they spend nine months in the dark literally day and night. 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:05.160 It's all the same in the womb cocoon. And if 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.480 you also think about it, when do babies do most 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:10.240 of their kicking when they're in utero when you're pregnant, 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.760 when do they kick They do it at night? Why 0:13:12.800 --> 0:13:16.000 because that's when you're lying down and during the day, 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:19.240 when you're up and around, they're lulled to sleep by 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:22.920 the movement, So it's only natural that they would continue 0:13:23.000 --> 0:13:28.920 that pattern after they're born. So it is natural. It's temporary. 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:31.719 Usually takes a few weeks of adjustment to life on 0:13:31.760 --> 0:13:34.840 the outside, but babies typically stop mixing up their days 0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:38.520 and nights on their own, and you can help me 0:13:38.720 --> 0:13:41.960 that realization with just a few basic tricks. First would 0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:45.160 be have your baby do most of her daytime sleep 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:48.160 in a light room and have her do her nighttime 0:13:48.240 --> 0:13:51.360 sleep in a dark one, so that you're making that 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:55.360 distinction light is for lighter sleep and dark is for 0:13:55.440 --> 0:13:58.760 deeper sleep. Second would be to keep her daytime sleep 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.960 sessions shorter, so you don't want to let her sleep 0:14:02.000 --> 0:14:04.360 more than three hours at a time during the day 0:14:04.400 --> 0:14:07.760 and then waker if she goes longer than that. And 0:14:07.880 --> 0:14:10.640 during the day you can be super engaging. That's the 0:14:10.679 --> 0:14:13.240 time to pull out all the simulation stops, to do 0:14:13.320 --> 0:14:16.480 lots of chatting and singing and all those silly faces 0:14:16.520 --> 0:14:20.400 you were waiting to use. And at night, when your 0:14:20.400 --> 0:14:24.760 baby wigs only do the necessary diaper changing, you want 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:27.480 to keep that to a minimum. So if you have 0:14:27.560 --> 0:14:29.920 to change, great, but go for it with a light 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:33.000 super low. Don't pull out your phone or turn on 0:14:33.040 --> 0:14:35.440 the TV when you're doing feeds, and keep all the 0:14:35.480 --> 0:14:40.560 communications to whisper or softly sung lullabies so that the 0:14:40.560 --> 0:14:43.640 baby gets the idea that nighttime is not party time. Right. 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:46.360 One thing you shouldn't try, though, and a lot of 0:14:46.400 --> 0:14:49.120 parents learn this The hard way to is try to 0:14:49.200 --> 0:14:51.720 keep your baby up all day thinking that he's going 0:14:51.760 --> 0:14:54.640 to sleep better at night. That does not work. That 0:14:54.720 --> 0:14:59.800 backfires big time babies need daytime naps, and infants need 0:15:00.120 --> 0:15:04.480 lots and lots of daytime sleep, and overtired babies actually 0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:08.600 sleep less well, not better, and the same I think, Emma, 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:13.080 you would agree could be said for overtired children. That 0:15:13.320 --> 0:15:15.880 is so true when Sebby is overtired, I always think 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:18.360 he's gonna sleep great that night, and he is up 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:21.480 at the breaths crack of dawn. So yeah, okay, one 0:15:21.480 --> 0:15:23.960 should we expect for a baby to sleep through the night. 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:27.920 I guess like not the first day, And how do 0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:30.680 you know it's okay to skip the middle of the 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:35.640 night feedings. Yeah, so every baby is different. Newborns, whether 0:15:35.680 --> 0:15:38.720 they're breast or formula fed, or they do a combo, 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.120 they need to eat several times at least during the night, 0:15:42.200 --> 0:15:46.800 and they definitely should not do anything approximating sleeping through 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.640 the night. Even most three or four months old babies 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:52.440 still need at least one middle of the night feeding, 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:55.160 maybe two, and a lot of them continue needing at 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:59.480 least one until they're pushing six months, and especially breastfed babies, 0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.960 since breast elk is more easily digested, babies need that 0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:09.600 refill more frequently. Now. Metabolically speaking, older babies can go 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.680 without the middle of the night feed once they've reached 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:17.440 twelve pounds, but a lot of babies reached twelve pounds 0:16:18.280 --> 0:16:21.920 in the early early months, and so that might not 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:25.400 hold true. And also many babies, whether metabolically they need 0:16:25.400 --> 0:16:28.560 to or not, they don't choose to. And that's fine 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.440 because you know, easy for me to say, But what 0:16:31.520 --> 0:16:35.040 you can do if you have a midnight muncher who's 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:37.840 left twelve pounds in the dust and is still feeding 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:41.960 the night away is trying to gradually extend the time 0:16:42.000 --> 0:16:45.400 between feeds by a few minutes a night. You know 0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:47.520 or not, if you have to do what feels best 0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:51.080 for you and what's comfortable for you. And also remember 0:16:51.200 --> 0:16:54.560 when a baby wakes with a whimper, look before you 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:57.320 leap if you've already just fed her, because she might 0:16:57.360 --> 0:17:00.000 be sleeping or she might settle back to sleep given 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:03.040 a chance. Something else to try. If you're feeling like 0:17:03.080 --> 0:17:06.560 an all night diner and the nightly special is your boobs. 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:10.119 Make sure the baby is getting a full feed before 0:17:10.800 --> 0:17:14.119 your baby nods off, because otherwise they're having a midnight snack, 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:17.400 not a midnight meal. And the other thing is with breastfeeding. 0:17:17.680 --> 0:17:20.480 If your baby is only getting a few SIPs, that's 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:22.639 the hind milk, that's the skim milk that will not 0:17:22.800 --> 0:17:24.600 keep them full for the night. So you want to 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:27.879 make sure that a baby at least finishes one breast 0:17:28.000 --> 0:17:30.320 before she conks out again, so she won't wake up 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:33.359 hungry again in twenty minutes. And also you've got to 0:17:33.440 --> 0:17:36.760 keep in mind sleeping through the night sounds great, but 0:17:36.880 --> 0:17:39.399 it doesn't mean that you put your baby down to 0:17:39.480 --> 0:17:42.200 sleep at seven pm and they wake up at seven am. 0:17:42.240 --> 0:17:45.120 At least, not this early in the sleep game, even 0:17:45.320 --> 0:17:49.040 for really good sleeper. Maybe it'll mean a seven or 0:17:49.080 --> 0:17:53.439 eight o'clock bedtime, then a ten eleven pm snack, and 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:58.240 then maybe after some time, if you're lucky, they'll sleep 0:17:58.400 --> 0:18:02.720 till five maybe six, then a little more bottle or breasts, 0:18:02.760 --> 0:18:04.280 and then they'll go back to sleep for a couple 0:18:04.320 --> 0:18:09.240 of hours after that, and gradually. The idea is to 0:18:09.480 --> 0:18:12.560 expect the longer stretches of sleep to come at night 0:18:12.720 --> 0:18:15.720 and to get longer and longer, and if they don't 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:18.119 get longer, then we can talk later. You know. Sleep 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:20.800 training isn't something you should even think about doing until 0:18:20.800 --> 0:18:24.200 your baby is closer to six months. Definitely not before 0:18:24.200 --> 0:18:27.880 four months. But check with the pediatrician. Okay, mom, So 0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:35.080 what exactly is safe sleep? What does that mean? Obviously, 0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:36.720 if you have a newborn, it's going to be a 0:18:36.720 --> 0:18:39.480 while before you get that full night's sleep right, But 0:18:39.640 --> 0:18:43.080 you will rest easier if you know your baby is 0:18:43.119 --> 0:18:49.520 sleeping safely, if not soundly, and that means doing absolutely everything. 0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:53.919 Experts recommend to minimize the risk of SIDS or sudden 0:18:53.960 --> 0:18:57.400 infant death syndrome. This is the must do stuff. And 0:18:57.480 --> 0:18:59.560 you know it's important when I say it's must do, 0:18:59.680 --> 0:19:03.560 because there's so little must do in my book, literally, 0:19:03.760 --> 0:19:05.919 But when it comes to safe sleep, it must do 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:09.440 and safely. It starts with the right position right from 0:19:09.440 --> 0:19:12.359 the start. Flat on his back, not on his side, 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:15.679 not on his tummy, not at a semi recline like 0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:18.800 in a swing or in a car seat. Flat on 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:21.760 his back is flat out the safest way for a 0:19:21.760 --> 0:19:26.440 baby to sleep. A pacifier for sleep is really also protective. 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:29.320 That's what the research shows. If your baby will take one, 0:19:29.400 --> 0:19:31.080 if he doesn't take a passie, you don't have to 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:35.280 stress out. Location also matters. Safest place for your baby 0:19:35.320 --> 0:19:38.639 to sleep is in your room, next your bed, but 0:19:38.800 --> 0:19:41.400 not in your bed. So being close to a parent 0:19:41.480 --> 0:19:45.159 during sleep we know is protective against it. Mind you, 0:19:45.200 --> 0:19:47.720 nobody is going to sleep soundly that way, least of 0:19:47.720 --> 0:19:51.000 all you, what with all those baby noises and startles 0:19:51.040 --> 0:19:54.720 and tossing and turning. But baby will sleep more safely, 0:19:54.760 --> 0:19:58.560 and that's what it's all about. Safe sleep space, A bassinet, 0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:01.600 a pack and play with, a as it insert, or 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:04.680 a crib are all safe for sleep, assuming they're new, 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:08.600 they've passed safety requirements, no old models or ones that 0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:12.760 might have been recalled, and definitely no antiques. Unsafe sleep 0:20:12.800 --> 0:20:18.840 spaces are unfortunately baby's favorites. So and I hear this 0:20:18.960 --> 0:20:22.639 all the time from mom's My baby loves sleeping in 0:20:22.680 --> 0:20:25.000 a doctat I know we're not supposed to put the 0:20:25.000 --> 0:20:27.199 baby in in the docatad for sleep, but that's the 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:31.920 only place my baby will sleep. Loungers, nest docatots, poppies, 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:35.480 all of those are fun for hanging out, but not 0:20:35.640 --> 0:20:38.119 for sleep, and baby sleep way better in those spaces 0:20:38.119 --> 0:20:40.840 because they're so super cozy, but they are not safe. 0:20:40.880 --> 0:20:43.600 And the same thing for swings or seats or rock 0:20:43.680 --> 0:20:46.639 and plays, and those have been recalled for that reason. 0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:51.320 Anything that puts baby at a semi recline. Yes, babies 0:20:51.359 --> 0:20:54.720 will not offer them, absolutely because they love that motion, 0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:57.959 and some babies will sleep in them given the opportunity 0:20:58.000 --> 0:21:01.520 for hours at a time. But for safety's sake, as 0:21:01.520 --> 0:21:04.480 soon as you can move a baby into a safe 0:21:04.680 --> 0:21:07.800 sleep space if they fallen asleep in a swing or 0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:10.600 in a seat, and don't let babies nap in those. 0:21:10.920 --> 0:21:13.920 You notice when a newborn is in that position, their 0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:17.640 heads flopped forward and that can lead to their airway 0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:20.800 being blocked, and it can also lead to tightening of 0:21:20.840 --> 0:21:24.880 the neck muscles called tora colis. So definitely none of that. 0:21:25.040 --> 0:21:28.480 And also no sleeping on so fuzz even if you're 0:21:28.720 --> 0:21:31.440 sitting nearby and you think your baby can't roll over yet, 0:21:31.480 --> 0:21:34.760 so why not put them on the sofa they'll sleep better. No, no, no, 0:21:34.760 --> 0:21:38.840 no armchairs, no bean bag chairs. And don't forget my motto. 0:21:39.000 --> 0:21:41.760 This is something I taught Lennox when he was about 0:21:41.800 --> 0:21:44.080 to become a big brother, and he loved repeating it. 0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:47.680 What goes in the crib nothing but the baby. Nothing 0:21:47.760 --> 0:21:51.000 in that safe sleep space. Otherwise it's not a safe 0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:56.960 sleep space anymore. No pillows, no positioners, no blankets, no 0:21:57.160 --> 0:22:00.280 rolled up blankets as positioners, no blankets. It's for a 0:22:00.320 --> 0:22:03.639 tight swaddle, and no swaddles at all once you have 0:22:03.720 --> 0:22:06.920 a baby Houdini who can escape from the hoose, because 0:22:07.040 --> 0:22:11.080 loose bedding is also unsafe. And no soft toys, no wedges, 0:22:11.200 --> 0:22:15.439 no bumpers, just a baby flat on his back on 0:22:15.520 --> 0:22:21.479 a firm, tight fitting mattress covered by a tight fitting sheet. 0:22:21.840 --> 0:22:23.600 I did listen to you about all this stuff. I 0:22:23.600 --> 0:22:25.280 didn't have a docta talk. I didn't have any of that, 0:22:25.400 --> 0:22:28.080 And those are fine to have to clarify. If you 0:22:28.200 --> 0:22:32.760 use a doctop for lounging, that's perfectly fine. That's great 0:22:32.920 --> 0:22:35.960 as long is they're awake or you're supervising, but don't 0:22:36.000 --> 0:22:38.359 let them sleep in it. And also if there's a 0:22:38.440 --> 0:22:40.520 chance that you're gonna fall asleep with your baby and 0:22:40.560 --> 0:22:56.320 one of those things, that's also a risk. Okay, so 0:22:56.600 --> 0:22:59.000 what if you fall asleep with your baby on top 0:22:59.040 --> 0:23:01.359 of you. We all have picture of our husband's sleeping 0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:03.000 with the baby on top of them because it's just 0:23:03.119 --> 0:23:07.359 oh so precious. I love them, And that's totally fine 0:23:07.480 --> 0:23:10.520 if you're awake and taking that picture of the baby 0:23:10.560 --> 0:23:14.320 is sleeping on dad. Yeah, you know, it's so tempting. 0:23:14.480 --> 0:23:17.560