WEBVTT - The Fifth Hour: Benny the Butcher 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:01.520 Kubbooms. 0:00:02.360 --> 0:00:05.440 If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes 0:00:05.480 --> 0:00:09.240 a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants 0:00:09.240 --> 0:00:12.520 of the old republic, a sol fashion of fairness. He 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:15.560 treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:19.639 rich pill poppers in the penthouse. Wow, the Clearinghouse of 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:23.520 Hot takes break free for something special. The Fifth Hour 0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:32.360 with Ben Maller starts right now. 0:00:29.040 --> 0:00:35.120 In the air eywhere for the final time in the 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:38.559 month of October, the year twenty twenty five. It is 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:42.640 I Ben Mahler. We have stumbled and bumbled our way 0:00:43.560 --> 0:00:48.080 inside the Fifth Hour Podcast Studio, the remote podcast studio, 0:00:48.880 --> 0:00:53.720 as we hang out here together enjoying the fun that 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:58.800 is weekend podcasting. And today is a rather big day, 0:00:59.240 --> 0:01:01.960 as not only do you have that little Halloween thing, 0:01:02.680 --> 0:01:05.800 you got the little Halloween thing. And then tonight is 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:09.320 this the last night of the Major League Baseball season? 0:01:10.000 --> 0:01:15.280 Developing Hot Dot Dot Dot the Dodgers and the Toronto 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:20.240 Blue Jays. It is own like Donkey Kong from the 0:01:20.319 --> 0:01:25.400 stadium formerly known as SkyDome. You've got Yoshinobu Yamamoto for 0:01:25.480 --> 0:01:29.560 the Dodgers favorite the Dodgers are favored to force a 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:32.800 Game seven in the World Series. They open up a 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:36.080 minus one thirty five favorite. They are a little higher 0:01:36.120 --> 0:01:39.759 than that. And where is the money. It's it's Yoshinobu 0:01:39.840 --> 0:01:44.160 Yamato versus the Gossman, Kevin Gossman, the gas Man Gossman. 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:46.800 That is the matchup at the building known now as 0:01:46.840 --> 0:01:52.200 the Rogers Center. And most of the cash, most of 0:01:52.240 --> 0:01:54.760 the cash is on the Dodgers. The tickets a little 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:58.320 more split, although the Dodgers have the edge there. So 0:01:58.400 --> 0:02:00.120 that is the matchup tonight, and we will have a 0:02:00.200 --> 0:02:05.160 complete Malar monologue, win loser, draw. Of course there will 0:02:05.200 --> 0:02:07.400 be no draw, but we'll have that on the Saturday 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:10.040 edition of the Fifth Hour. One of the as we 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:12.239 said last week me and Danny g it's one of 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.680 the blessings and the curses of doing a weekend podcast. 0:02:15.080 --> 0:02:17.560 You have a platform because that'll be old news. Whatever 0:02:17.600 --> 0:02:20.440 happens tonight will be old news by the time we 0:02:20.480 --> 0:02:24.399 get to the next Ben Mahler show. Not to get 0:02:24.400 --> 0:02:27.960 too inside radio, how we make the sausage. You do 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:30.640 not want to know how we make the sausage. But 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:34.120 as far as Halloween is concerned, which is the main 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:37.440 event today, the World series. People will be out doing 0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:41.080 things and all that stuff. Every Halloween, I go down 0:02:41.120 --> 0:02:43.120 the rabbit hole and I look back and say, well, 0:02:43.120 --> 0:02:45.960 where did this all begin? Like what is the origin 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:50.519 of Halloween? Like how far back does it go? It's 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:54.920 got pagan origins. We're reminded of that every time we 0:02:55.639 --> 0:03:00.000 look back at what happened. But really it's the se 0:03:00.040 --> 0:03:03.959 Eltse who we should thank for what Halloween is today. 0:03:04.760 --> 0:03:09.320 The ancient people now they live where modern day Ireland 0:03:09.520 --> 0:03:15.520 is in northern France, and the UK's Halloween pagan roots 0:03:15.760 --> 0:03:19.720 go back thousands of years to the Celtic fire festival. 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:22.639 I wonder if that's like the one they have in 0:03:23.560 --> 0:03:27.680 outside Vegas. Well, the fire festival, that's something else, that's 0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:32.160 the daisy something electric light thing. The fire festival was 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:34.120 the one that was a total disaster and made a 0:03:34.120 --> 0:03:38.280 Netflix documentary back in the day. Anyway, So they recognized 0:03:38.320 --> 0:03:40.680 the end of the harvest season and the start of 0:03:40.760 --> 0:03:44.480 the new year on November first, and so they had 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:48.080 this big festival. The pagans wore costumes and they lit fires, 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:50.520 and they had to do that because they wanted to 0:03:50.600 --> 0:03:53.320 keep the bad spirits away. You do not want bad 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:57.320 spirits to mess around with you. And so that was that, 0:03:57.520 --> 0:04:02.000 and they believed that on October thirty first, today the 0:04:02.160 --> 0:04:06.160 dead returned. The dead return to walk among the living. 0:04:07.160 --> 0:04:10.640 He's zombieish. Wouldn't that be amazing? Though? Imagine if all 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:14.760 the people that have died like somehow came back and 0:04:14.880 --> 0:04:16.680 it would be like great to see them, But then 0:04:16.720 --> 0:04:18.760 they'd be like, well, what did you do to my sofa? 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:22.800 You know, I was like my mom she came back 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:25.080 and being then you messed up my kitchen. That's not 0:04:25.200 --> 0:04:28.159 my mom. You're not here, but I'm back. But I know, 0:04:28.240 --> 0:04:30.640 I I know. I'm glad you're back. But I didn't 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:33.160 think you'd mind. You didn't think you were going to 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:35.479 come back. I don't, I don't know. I mean, what 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:37.600 do you want me to do? Uh? And all that 0:04:38.040 --> 0:04:42.240 and uh and so there you go. Yeah, anyway, moving 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:44.320 on from that, let's get to the meat of the 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:48.960 matter on this edition of the Fifth Hour podcast, and 0:04:49.480 --> 0:04:52.440 that would be I got two things for you, and 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:54.320 then there's some other stuff. I got Benny the Butcher 0:04:55.320 --> 0:04:59.799 and chicken soup in a way. In a way, chicken soup, 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:05.719 So let's start with this. First of all, again, Happy Halloween, Oh, 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:09.960 Happy Halloween. So you reach a certain agent. I guess 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:12.400 I'm at that age now. I would assume I'm at 0:05:12.400 --> 0:05:15.880 that age somewhere between. I still know the words to 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:21.920 every Month to Oh Monsters. I know that. And then 0:05:21.960 --> 0:05:24.240 I look at the candy bowl and I think, boy, 0:05:24.279 --> 0:05:26.159 if I eat that, I'm going to gain all the 0:05:26.200 --> 0:05:29.520 weight I lost back, all of it. Just one bowl 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:32.760 of delicious butterfinger and Baby Ruth and Snickers bars and 0:05:32.839 --> 0:05:36.680 three Musketeers and it's all gone. And then you start 0:05:36.720 --> 0:05:41.440 to think that the Halloween costume, that's a young person's game, right, 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:43.159 You got to be a kid to be in a 0:05:43.160 --> 0:05:50.200 Halloween costume, unless, of course, the costume finds you. Welcome 0:05:50.880 --> 0:05:55.760 to my world. That's right, mine did right there, in 0:05:56.200 --> 0:06:00.520 of all places, the kitchen at the Malor Mansion. Right. 0:06:00.920 --> 0:06:04.440 Let me repeat that for the back of the room there. Yeah, 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:10.640 I found my Halloween costume because it slammed me down 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:13.560 in many ways. So I was not at spirit Halloween. 0:06:14.279 --> 0:06:17.720 I was not working my way through all the polyester 0:06:17.880 --> 0:06:21.240 cowboys and vampire capes and the natty nurses and all 0:06:21.240 --> 0:06:25.400 that other stuff. I didn't brave Target. My wife likes Target. 0:06:25.440 --> 0:06:28.520 I'm more of a costco guy. I would go to Walmart, 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:35.800 the endless aisles of synthetic rubber masks and scary fangs 0:06:35.920 --> 0:06:38.080 if you're gonna be Dracula and all that stuff. So no, 0:06:38.279 --> 0:06:42.440 my costume was homemade. It was hand crafted, really hand cut, 0:06:43.160 --> 0:06:46.400 really hand cut, if you want to get precise, because 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:51.400 on this particular Halloween week, I became Benny the Lime Cook. Now, 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:54.200 I do like to make I eat one meal a day, 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:55.800 and I try to eat a good meal and the 0:06:55.839 --> 0:06:57.800 hearty meal, and that gets me through the rest of 0:06:57.839 --> 0:06:59.839 the day. And I don't need to eat three meals. 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:03.120 One meal, save a little bit of money, try not 0:07:03.160 --> 0:07:04.680 to get any weight. I have a meal, I have 0:07:04.720 --> 0:07:07.280 a snack bowl. That's it. Boom, done, done done. Usually 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:09.960 eat within half an hour to forty minutes, and the 0:07:10.000 --> 0:07:12.240 rest of the day I don't eat. Well. It turns 0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:15.480 out that Bennie the line cook Moonlight It's got a 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:18.040 second job, must have gone to Express Pros because I 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:21.280 got a second job as Benny the Butcher. That's right. 0:07:21.600 --> 0:07:24.960 So let's go back a few days. The Life of Maler, 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:30.320 the Life of Mouth, that lunch is a singular event. 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:33.080 My wife goes to work, she's not home. I'm by myself. 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:36.400 It's me and Moxie, and I usually put Moxie outside 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:39.680 because if Moxie's inside while I'm eating, Moxie wants to 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:42.800 join the meal. And normally what I'll do is, if 0:07:42.840 --> 0:07:45.520 I have leftovers, I will then toss them to Moxie 0:07:45.720 --> 0:07:49.080 as an active goodwill. As an active goodwill, so I 0:07:50.160 --> 0:07:52.600 used to eat just like really terrible food. I still 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:54.320 eat bad food on the weekends, but during the week 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:56.440 I try to eat somewhat healthy. So on this particular day, 0:07:56.920 --> 0:08:02.400 I had grilled chicken, I had on a spit, we 0:08:02.480 --> 0:08:05.880 had rice. I had rice because I say wee, but 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:10.320 I had rice, pineapple, love pineapple, some diced onion, and 0:08:10.360 --> 0:08:13.480 some bell pepper. The kind of meal that if you 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:15.400 had told me when I was twenty years old, I 0:08:15.400 --> 0:08:17.200 would be eating when I'm the age i'm at now. 0:08:17.240 --> 0:08:19.760 I just said, you're full of crap. And it's also 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:22.440 the kind of meal I think that if you're a nutritionist, 0:08:22.760 --> 0:08:24.880 you would put that on the GRAM and get a 0:08:24.880 --> 0:08:27.880 lot of clout right, a clean fuel and all that stuff. 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:31.200 Put the eating healthy man look at me now, except 0:08:31.240 --> 0:08:34.640 my meal. Even though it sounded very healthy, it sounded 0:08:34.720 --> 0:08:39.400 very healthy, my meal was not clean false advertising. Now 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:43.040 we could do a clash parody song, the meal fought 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:46.040 back and the meal one, The meal fought back and 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:51.000 the meal one. You see, I misjudged where my knife 0:08:51.280 --> 0:08:56.280 ended and the finger began, which is kind of similar 0:08:56.320 --> 0:09:00.240 to going to Arizona and misjudging where the cliff and 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:05.480 and the grand Canyon begins. Hello, Hello, it doesn't end well. Now, 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:10.240 if you ever have that split second where your brain 0:09:10.480 --> 0:09:12.280 lags behind. Have you ever had that? You know what 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:15.080 I'm talking about? You think that kind that felt kind 0:09:15.080 --> 0:09:19.400 of weird. It didn't feel like it was supposed to feel. 0:09:19.600 --> 0:09:24.200 So I'm cutting the onion and I had that brain 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:26.600 lag where it's like, what's going on with that? That 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:30.600 didn't feel quite right, and so I thought, well, it 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:33.680 must be the onion. Maybe it was a bad onion. 0:09:33.720 --> 0:09:36.720 I didn't examine the onion. I cut the onion, so 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:38.640 I picked the onion up. At this point, I now 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:42.319 am inspector gadget. I should update that reference. I am 0:09:42.559 --> 0:09:47.760 imagine me in a lab code. I'm working on CSI right, 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:50.720 it's better than Inspector Gadget, although I like Inspector Gadget 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:55.080 more than CSI. And only at this point in the 0:09:55.120 --> 0:10:00.520 story did I notice in my peripheral vision these little 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:06.920 red drips drip, drip, drip. Now, this is the part 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:10.040 of the story that is not for the faint of heart. 0:10:10.200 --> 0:10:14.280 It is not you see, at that moment, a simple 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:18.280 chopping of the onion became a horror movie plot twist. 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:22.160 It's not the onion's fault, it's not. There were no 0:10:22.240 --> 0:10:25.160 special effects. There was no current corn syrup or food 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:28.800 dye or any of that, just my knuckle on my 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:35.480 right hand auditioning for an upcoming Tarantino close up. Yes. So, now, 0:10:36.280 --> 0:10:39.800 later today, as the neighborhood kids parade around through their 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:42.720 cute little costumes through the mean streets of the north Woods, 0:10:42.800 --> 0:10:47.320 dressed as princesses and pikachuw's and all the other stuff 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:49.959 that I have no idea. Well, you go through the 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:53.760 list of popular Halloween costumes and it's like, that's anime, 0:10:53.920 --> 0:10:56.520 that's anime, So what's anime? Just go with it, Just 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:59.400 go with it. I'm old, I'm older than anime. I 0:10:59.440 --> 0:11:00.920 don't know that. I didn't grow up with anime. I 0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:02.720 grew up with the Looney Tunes. Well that year old 0:11:02.800 --> 0:11:04.160 you don't know what, you don't know what these things 0:11:04.160 --> 0:11:06.400 are as a bad job by you. So anyway, I 0:11:06.440 --> 0:11:10.520 will be the gentleman who will be waving from the 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:12.760 driveway as I walk out to the car with the 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:15.920 I have the new skin, I have the gauze wrapped 0:11:15.960 --> 0:11:19.440 around the hand like a mummy mall or the Mummy. 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:23.960 And of course I lost the instructural manual. So my 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:29.720 homemade costume is called stylish Bloodshed, Benny's Stylish Bloodshed. The 0:11:29.760 --> 0:11:34.520 authenticity of this, I'm telling you, is undeniable. It is 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:41.559 absolutely un deniable. I didn't even need a sewing machine. 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:44.840 I didn't. My mom was an epic sewer back in 0:11:44.880 --> 0:11:47.040 the day. But I didn't need my mom's old sewing machine. 0:11:47.640 --> 0:11:52.440 Just a chef's knife and a little spatula awareness and 0:11:52.480 --> 0:11:56.920 that's it. So somewhere off in the wild blue yonder, 0:11:57.320 --> 0:12:00.560 way out there in the wild blue yonder, wes Craven smiling. 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:03.080 It's got a Cheshire cat smile from ear to ear 0:12:03.920 --> 0:12:07.960 hearing the story. Now, had I sliced just a millimeter, 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:12.280 just a a millimeter more, you and I would be 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:16.080 having a much different conversation right now. Instead of talking 0:12:17.200 --> 0:12:21.600 about what did happen was I just went over there? 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:26.040 We would be talking dismemberment instead of a chunk of 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:29.959 my flesh on my knuckle, on my pointer finger going 0:12:29.960 --> 0:12:33.800 away from this thick laceration you see. I then if 0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:36.200 that had been a dismemberment, I would have been the 0:12:36.240 --> 0:12:40.360 star of my own low budget remake, The Big Lebowski two, 0:12:40.480 --> 0:12:44.560 starring Ben Maller. This time the dude loses a digit. 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:49.640 Forget the the severed toe in the shoe box. What's 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:54.760 in the box? Now my finger? And this is the 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.760 part where Brad Pitt, who looks really weird in that mustache, 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:00.319 I SunUp the Dodger gameless week. It's very weird. This 0:13:00.360 --> 0:13:03.520 is where Brad Pitt comes in screaming what's in the box. 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:05.199 I'd also like to point out Brad Pitt if you 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:08.200 ever saw me, he said, ooh, you got a body 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:11.439 for overnight talk radio. That's right, Brad, I do, Daddy. 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:15.400 There's a bit of a malord metaphor in this story. 0:13:15.480 --> 0:13:19.679 Somewhere seems like there always is, always is a bit 0:13:19.720 --> 0:13:24.440 of a metaphor. So maybe it's about the hubris that 0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:28.360 I was so confident in my ability to multitask that 0:13:28.480 --> 0:13:31.839 I tried to make lunch and play iron chef at 0:13:31.840 --> 0:13:35.520 the same time while watching while watching the World series. 0:13:36.000 --> 0:13:39.480 It might be about my age, the way reflexes kind 0:13:39.480 --> 0:13:42.480 of slowed down, and the knives don't forget and all 0:13:42.520 --> 0:13:46.080 that stuff. However, I don't think of myself as that old. 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:48.320 I know mathematically if you had told me when I 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:50.240 was twelve years old, you said, how old, Well that's 0:13:50.280 --> 0:13:55.520 old man, You're a relic. You're really old. Or maybe 0:13:55.520 --> 0:14:00.240 it's about the metaphor is about Halloween itself, and we 0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:04.199 spend so many you're watching horror movies and all this 0:14:04.240 --> 0:14:06.400 stuff and trying to get those fake scares, only to 0:14:06.440 --> 0:14:09.839 find that at some point the real ones are sitting 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:14.880 there very quietly off to the side in the kitchen, waiting, 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:17.560 just waiting for you to reach for the cutting board 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:21.160 and the very sharp knife. And the whole thing reminds 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:27.720 me of every over confident, blowhard radio host who thinks 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:30.640 that they can juggle too many hot takes at once 0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:34.000 and you end up burning the microphones one slip and 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:37.440 suddenly you're bleeding ratings. In that case, but that the 0:14:37.520 --> 0:14:41.440 knife doesn't care if you've done this a thousand times before, right, 0:14:41.960 --> 0:14:47.000 they don't care. So again later tonight on Halloween. Later tonight, 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:49.960 when I visit my lovely and sweet niece and nephew 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:53.800 for their Halloween festival, I will be the man with 0:14:54.000 --> 0:14:58.120 the bandage, hand the new skin, and then the bandage 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:03.640 walking PSA for life safety call me the middle aged Frankenstein, 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:08.280 and I will be held together by gauze and regret 0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:11.920 that I didn't pay closer attention while chopping the onion. 0:15:12.480 --> 0:15:14.000 I'm sure there'll be some kids if I take the 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:17.640 gauze off that will scream, oh my god, what happened 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:20.760 to that man. I'll smile. I'll smile at them, and 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:24.080 I'll tell them kids, this is a teachable moment. This 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:28.800 is a public service announcement from your friend on the radio. 0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:31.960 I used to be the king of PSA. Is what happens. 0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:36.600 This is what happens when you don't respect the onion. 0:15:37.480 --> 0:15:40.840 I'm telling you respect the almighty onion. Now the good 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:44.600 news again, my finger is still attached. The bad news, 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:47.920 the chunk of my flesh is gone. The ego is 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:53.920 not attached as much a homemade costume. I would tell 0:15:53.920 --> 0:16:00.360 you though, this homemade costume unforgettable, unforgettable. After all, there 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:09.560 is nothing, nothing that says Halloween like the authentic droplets 0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:13.960 of blood on your apron and a story that begins 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:18.359 It was supposed to be a quiet lunch by myself, 0:16:19.800 --> 0:16:26.200 and then you'll never believe what happened next. You'll never 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:29.720 ever believe it. All right, turn the page on that 0:16:29.760 --> 0:16:36.440 we go to the great radio Pilgrimage in sin City. 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:42.240 That's right, beautiful sin City. So people go to Vegas 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:47.080 to gamble, to take part in all kinds of debauchery, 0:16:47.160 --> 0:16:50.880 to party, to lose all sense of time and place. 0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:55.000 We know that I go to Vegas three or four 0:16:55.040 --> 0:16:58.760 times a year. Now. I went there to renew this 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:04.600 last weekend there, to renew my vows with radio, or 0:17:04.640 --> 0:17:09.800 at least to confirm that the almighty, all powerful, omnipresent 0:17:09.960 --> 0:17:15.800 magic Radio Box still exists on the big stage. When 0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:20.920 it seems like most people get their content from TikTok 0:17:21.240 --> 0:17:25.400 and Instagram and they get to that social media dopamine 0:17:25.400 --> 0:17:28.679 slot machine going and all that stuff, you realize that 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:31.960 it's a bit of a rig game, right, that social media. Yeah, 0:17:31.960 --> 0:17:34.439 everyone's on there, but how many people are active on 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:40.639 there and whatnot. So it turns out that there's a 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:44.040 lot there. The Magic Radio Box still exists and it 0:17:44.160 --> 0:17:47.240 is great. So this past weekend, again I found myself 0:17:47.720 --> 0:17:52.480 bleary eyed and heavily over the caffeinated with those caffeine supplements. 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:56.880 I got at CBS doing the Bend Maler Show, The 0:17:56.920 --> 0:18:01.440 Bend Maler Show from the world class iHeart Studios on 0:18:01.560 --> 0:18:05.600 Fremont Street. I am blown away. I said it last time, 0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:08.359 and I went in there again, and I want to 0:18:08.400 --> 0:18:12.240 thank Ice, who's a big DJ star. She knows Flavor Flaves, 0:18:12.240 --> 0:18:14.359 She's a big deal in Vegas and she kind of 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:18.399 runs that place at night. She came in there and 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:20.600 we were hanging out and it was cool. Nice to 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:24.320 see her again and anyway, moving on with sorry. So 0:18:25.040 --> 0:18:29.639 I was there at the Iheartstudos Fremont Street now Fremont again. 0:18:29.720 --> 0:18:31.520 For those of you that have not been to Vegas, 0:18:32.160 --> 0:18:34.000 and for those of you that have been but haven't 0:18:34.040 --> 0:18:39.320 been lately, Fremont Street is what happens when the civilized 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:44.399 world decides it's no longer interested in daylight. It is 0:18:44.480 --> 0:18:49.080 a real life freak show. There is no admission. You 0:18:49.119 --> 0:18:51.880 don't have to pay for admission. You just go through 0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:54.480 some metal detectors. It's a freak show with free admission. 0:18:54.760 --> 0:18:57.960 It's a human zoo. And unlike the San Diego Zoo, 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:00.520 where you might see a hippo or a heeling monster 0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:04.800 or any other goblin that might be there, No, no, no, 0:19:04.880 --> 0:19:07.440 it turns out that when you go to Fremont Street, 0:19:07.440 --> 0:19:09.280 you don't have to pay. It's a human zoo and 0:19:09.760 --> 0:19:14.160 it's where you can see everything from grown men wearing 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:18.840 diapers to women wearing pasties who probably shouldn't be wearing pasties. 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:22.320 You know, we should maybe had one less cheeseburger. And 0:19:22.359 --> 0:19:25.399 I'm the last guy to talk. And then Elvis impersonators 0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:28.400 up the wazoo a little bit of everything. I got 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:34.280 cover bands, there's music, there's zip lines. It is sensory overload, 0:19:34.560 --> 0:19:38.879 is what it is. It's also humanity's clearance rack. It is. 0:19:38.960 --> 0:19:45.919 So I wrap up the overnight show in Vegas, and 0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:50.240 I wrap it up. I wrap it up. It's like 0:19:50.359 --> 0:19:55.040 three in the morning. Right, Wait, this this works. I 0:19:55.080 --> 0:19:56.800 wrap it up, and I have some other business I 0:19:56.840 --> 0:19:58.440 have to take care of, so I can't just leave 0:19:58.480 --> 0:20:02.639 right away. But that's the witching hour at three am. 0:20:02.760 --> 0:20:05.680 That's the witching hour for the degenerate and the dreamer 0:20:07.119 --> 0:20:10.000 in that part of Vegas, Old Vegas and then or 0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:13.119 downtown base what you're gonna call it at locals, I 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:18.760 think say Downtown, Others say Fremont, whatever, it doesn't really matter. 0:20:18.880 --> 0:20:23.400 You get the point. So, because the job requires a 0:20:23.440 --> 0:20:27.080 certain level of lunacy when you do this kind of work, 0:20:28.560 --> 0:20:31.960 I drag my fat ass and I took my lovely 0:20:32.000 --> 0:20:34.439 wife over to New York, New York, down on the 0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:43.479 Strip for the Power Trip Morning show from Kfan in Minneapolis, Kfan, Kfan. Now, 0:20:43.520 --> 0:20:45.600 if you live outside the Twin Cities, and by the way, 0:20:45.600 --> 0:20:47.600 my hand is raised, I do live outside the Twin Cities, 0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:53.560 you might not grasp the gravitational pull of the Power Trip. Well, Ben, 0:20:53.600 --> 0:20:56.000 it's just a little morning show, It's all it is. 0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:59.520 Don't embellish it. We don't need puffery. What is wrong 0:20:59.560 --> 0:21:04.560 with you? I don't do that. Okay, time out. This 0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:07.560 is not puffery. This is not embellishment. It is not 0:21:07.800 --> 0:21:10.359 I promise you I will let you know next time 0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:13.359 I go down that road. So the morning show, the 0:21:13.400 --> 0:21:16.800 Power Trip. The big stars the players are Chris hockey, 0:21:17.600 --> 0:21:20.399 or Hawkeye as we call hockey. His nicknames is the 0:21:20.400 --> 0:21:24.320 Hawk Corey and then Meat Sauce, whose real name is Paul, 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:26.439 but he goes by the name Meat Sauce. And so 0:21:26.560 --> 0:21:32.880 these guys, Hawk Corey and Meat Sauce are the three 0:21:33.000 --> 0:21:37.840 Musketeers of Minnesota mornings. One part sports, one part stand 0:21:37.920 --> 0:21:42.840 up comedy, and one part group therapy. And by any 0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:49.400 measurement and by every metric, they are a phenomena. They 0:21:49.440 --> 0:21:52.400 are and tip of the headphones from one radio guide 0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:54.439 to another, and they're very kind. They liked the overnight 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:57.760 show where they'll lead in on the network. They carry 0:21:57.840 --> 0:22:02.879 us overnight on Kfan, And to put in perspective about 0:22:02.880 --> 0:22:08.399 how bonkers this whole thing was, there were listeners and 0:22:08.440 --> 0:22:13.640 not just a few listeners that plan their vacations around 0:22:13.720 --> 0:22:18.680 these guys. The show is simulcast across the iHeart and 0:22:18.720 --> 0:22:21.960 a bunch of iHeart stations in Minnesota. It's also streamed online. 0:22:22.520 --> 0:22:27.119 They've got a massive following rivaling you know, you think 0:22:27.160 --> 0:22:29.840 about like some football teams that have no fans, like 0:22:29.880 --> 0:22:34.360 a small market NFL franchise. And on this particular weekend, 0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:39.199 they were broadcasting in Vegas and that's how I, the 0:22:39.240 --> 0:22:44.600 overnight Vampire from Fox Sports Radio, ended up in their orbit, 0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:47.359 and I had actually met Hawk. I think we talked 0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:51.280 about this. I met Hawk a little while back thanks 0:22:51.320 --> 0:22:53.920 to some Mallard Militia listeners in Minnesota who are big 0:22:53.960 --> 0:22:57.120 fans of both shows who connected us the last time 0:22:57.160 --> 0:23:00.400 I was in Vegas and Hawk happened to be there. Now, 0:23:00.440 --> 0:23:03.359 originally the plan was when I had seen Hawk the 0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:05.200 last time, I said, oh, yeah, he guess he works 0:23:05.200 --> 0:23:06.920 for the Vikings. He does some of the radio stuff 0:23:06.920 --> 0:23:09.080 for the Minnesota Vikings. So I figured, well, the plan 0:23:09.119 --> 0:23:12.560 would be to hang out when the Vikings played the 0:23:12.640 --> 0:23:15.760 Chargers at Sofi Stadium, that I'd go there, I'd prepare 0:23:15.760 --> 0:23:18.560 for my radio show. I'd get to see the quick 0:23:18.680 --> 0:23:21.040 five minute hey, how you're doing good, to catch up 0:23:21.080 --> 0:23:23.600 with you and all that stuff. So that was the plan. 0:23:23.680 --> 0:23:25.840 The Vikings weren't time to play the Chargers last Thursday, 0:23:26.200 --> 0:23:28.080 or I guess two thursdays ago, because last night we 0:23:28.119 --> 0:23:35.040 had the Ravens absolutely dismember the Dolphins. Back to the story, 0:23:35.080 --> 0:23:37.959 so you know, here we are the Chargers and Vikings, 0:23:38.280 --> 0:23:40.520 two teams that could lose a coin toss with a 0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:43.680 Magnet and I was going to go to the game 0:23:43.720 --> 0:23:45.840 and Hawk had text me a couple of weeks earlier. 0:23:45.840 --> 0:23:49.280 He's like, hey, you know, I think I forget exactly 0:23:49.280 --> 0:23:50.919 what he said. We said we're going to be in Vegas. 0:23:50.960 --> 0:23:52.320 I think he said something like the guys want to 0:23:52.320 --> 0:23:55.840 meet you on the show. And so he invited me 0:23:55.880 --> 0:23:59.000 on their show, and I could not resist. I love radio, 0:23:59.840 --> 0:24:02.760 and I've heard so many crazy things about how good 0:24:02.800 --> 0:24:04.679 the show is and how popular the show is and 0:24:04.680 --> 0:24:07.800 all this stuff. The Minnesota audience is just different. It 0:24:07.920 --> 0:24:11.280 just cuts different. And you guys had hyped these guys 0:24:11.359 --> 0:24:13.880 up on Power Trip for a while. People were prank 0:24:13.960 --> 0:24:16.679 calling us with meat sauce, saying meat sauce and all 0:24:16.680 --> 0:24:19.600 that stuff. So you guys had been telling me that 0:24:19.680 --> 0:24:22.600 this was the show, the Power Trip. This was it right, 0:24:22.640 --> 0:24:26.560 This is like the Beatles of bloviating. So I wanted 0:24:26.600 --> 0:24:30.480 to see with all of the gusto I have or 0:24:30.840 --> 0:24:33.399 the what it was in living color. I wanted to 0:24:33.480 --> 0:24:37.280 witness it the hullaballoo. So there I was. I made 0:24:37.320 --> 0:24:41.680 a last minute trip to Las Vegas. Now my wife 0:24:41.840 --> 0:24:44.119 was with me, and she asked me as we were 0:24:44.200 --> 0:24:47.119 leaving Fremont Street, the iHeart Studios, going to the hotel 0:24:47.200 --> 0:24:49.800 for a second and going to the event. She asked me, 0:24:49.880 --> 0:24:51.960 She's like, well, you know who's going to be there, 0:24:52.720 --> 0:24:54.159