1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,160
Speaker 1: Hey, it's key On and this is Carly, your favorite

2
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,680
Speaker 1: Okay Storytime host, and we've got some great stories coming up.

3
00:00:06,800 --> 00:00:08,959
Speaker 2: Well before that, we have a quick two minute break

4
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,600
Speaker 2: from the sponsors that keep the show alive.

5
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:15,360
Speaker 3: My girlfriend rebuilt her late dad's business, but I'm ashamed

6
00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:16,480
Speaker 3: to tell my family.

7
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:19,000
Speaker 4: Then don't tell them. I don't see the issue here.

8
00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,960
Speaker 3: My girlfriend, thirty two female, was left a a corn

9
00:00:23,079 --> 00:00:27,880
Speaker 3: agraphy store and spicy dancer club by her dad when

10
00:00:27,880 --> 00:00:30,760
Speaker 3: he passed away eight years ago. He let it go

11
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,360
Speaker 3: and it became a crap hole. But she poured her

12
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,120
Speaker 3: entire inheritance and took out some loans to revamp them both.

13
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:41,159
Speaker 3: It is now a popular, well managed establishment. She makes

14
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:44,599
Speaker 3: a decent life, but I, thirty eight male, have issues

15
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,800
Speaker 3: and I want her to sell it before I'd even

16
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,880
Speaker 3: think of proposing. By the way, this comes from user

17
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,400
Speaker 3: GF club owner, and if you want to submit your

18
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,480
Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash Okay Storytime suburdate.

19
00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:58,480
Speaker 3: I'm Dakota and I'm Sapana, and we're gonna talk about

20
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,680
Speaker 3: this story, maybe give a little bit of a advice,

21
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:05,560
Speaker 3: but we're goofballs. We're not professional advice people. You gotta

22
00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,840
Speaker 3: go ask them. I don't know. Let us know what

23
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:10,959
Speaker 3: you think in the comments. We'll let you know what

24
00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,600
Speaker 3: we think when we read and OP says, I don't

25
00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:16,759
Speaker 3: think the adult industry is a positive place for anyone.

26
00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,280
Speaker 3: I can't tell my strict Catholic parents what she does

27
00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:22,360
Speaker 3: for a living. She has to put a lot of

28
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,399
Speaker 3: time into the club. Saturday, we had plans to go

29
00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:29,120
Speaker 3: she shazam and have dinner. She got called that a

30
00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:32,160
Speaker 3: bartender's kid is sick and she ended up working until

31
00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,880
Speaker 3: four am because there was no coverage. This is a

32
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:38,319
Speaker 3: regular occurrence in some capacity. She just shrugs at me

33
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,759
Speaker 3: and tells me it's part of being an active owner

34
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,840
Speaker 3: of a successful business. She ends up working until four

35
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,160
Speaker 3: am at least four times a week. She's adamant that

36
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:50,000
Speaker 3: she will not sell I need some good points as

37
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:53,320
Speaker 3: to why she should. Points involving children will not work,

38
00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,880
Speaker 3: as she doesn't want children, And there are some comments

39
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:02,960
Speaker 3: from OP. But what get the money? So it shouldn't

40
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,600
Speaker 3: the goal of basically every business be to sell it?

41
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:08,240
Speaker 4: Like I think, so you want to run it so

42
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:11,200
Speaker 4: successfully that people want it that they'll pay top notch

43
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:15,919
Speaker 4: for it, So well, what I'm saying, is I don't

44
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:18,880
Speaker 4: think you like just because you're ashamed of it and whatever,

45
00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:21,160
Speaker 4: if it's a good business, you know, like you literally

46
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,440
Speaker 4: talked about how it was like, you know, crappy before

47
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,640
Speaker 4: and now she's done all this renovation to it. Now

48
00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,840
Speaker 4: it's like, you know, very popular, getting a lot of business. Whatever.

49
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,800
Speaker 4: I don't see the big deal. I understand that it's like,

50
00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:34,360
Speaker 4: you know, an adult place, but like you know, if

51
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:38,200
Speaker 4: it's paying the bills, making the money, then like, oh yeah,

52
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:38,840
Speaker 4: as long.

53
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,959
Speaker 3: As it's an upstanding establishment.

54
00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:44,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, and if you have kids, you don't have to

55
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:44,840
Speaker 4: bring them there.

56
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,400
Speaker 3: Obviously, it'd be different if it was like they don't

57
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,680
Speaker 3: they don't have kids, but.

58
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:51,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, well he's saying, like when they do, like.

59
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,200
Speaker 3: He said, she doesn't want she doesn't want kids. Oh,

60
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,560
Speaker 3: she doesn't want to she doesn't want kids.

61
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:55,040
Speaker 4: Never mind.

62
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:59,240
Speaker 3: Maybe it'd be I would be more understanding if it

63
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,280
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, when the dancers called out sick, I

64
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:03,320
Speaker 3: gotta go into work.

65
00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,520
Speaker 4: Yeah. But like, but if she's just like bartending or

66
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,000
Speaker 4: just working, you know, like managing the place, you know

67
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,760
Speaker 4: until four am, like that that is the life of

68
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:12,480
Speaker 4: business own her.

69
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:15,280
Speaker 3: She's probably like got it, you know, mixed up to

70
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:18,400
Speaker 3: in her head. It's like it was her dad's business,

71
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:21,360
Speaker 3: so it's like a connection to him somehow. But it's like,

72
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,840
Speaker 3: you can sell it eventually, right, you can sell it eventually.

73
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,079
Speaker 3: You're not going to manage that place for the whole

74
00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:25,600
Speaker 3: rest of your.

75
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,959
Speaker 4: Life, right, come on, I would think so that you would.

76
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:32,640
Speaker 3: Sell it anyway, op does say. I admit she's great

77
00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,400
Speaker 3: at it. I don't see why she can't just sell

78
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,320
Speaker 3: it and buy a regular bar. She said that letting

79
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,480
Speaker 3: other people manage it was what got it into the

80
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,080
Speaker 3: issues it had when her dad left her. She also

81
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:47,200
Speaker 3: enjoys having the goals and managing the club. She doesn't

82
00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:49,840
Speaker 3: want kids, so she doesn't think the hour she works

83
00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:53,080
Speaker 3: could be an issue. And there is an update. I

84
00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,440
Speaker 3: decided to tell her that the spicy related side of

85
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:59,440
Speaker 3: the store and club bothered me, and that I wanted

86
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,839
Speaker 3: her to sell it before I would propose. I made

87
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,040
Speaker 3: breakfast before she left to go over to the store

88
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,480
Speaker 3: for the day. She dumped me on the spot.

89
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,640
Speaker 4: Wow, that's crazy.

90
00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,840
Speaker 3: She's about her business, I guess. She said she enjoys

91
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,719
Speaker 3: her work and loves the adult industry and has no

92
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,560
Speaker 3: plans on selling. Ever, she said she has worked too

93
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,880
Speaker 3: hard and too long for that sort of bs. We

94
00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:26,960
Speaker 3: don't live together, so we walked through her apartment to

95
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,080
Speaker 3: gather my things. We gave each other's keys back. She

96
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:33,120
Speaker 3: already blocked me on Facebook. Wow, and we've got some

97
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:33,960
Speaker 3: more comments.

98
00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:36,800
Speaker 4: Wow. I mean, it's a girl that knows what she wants.

99
00:04:36,839 --> 00:04:37,880
Speaker 4: Don't push her around.

100
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,160
Speaker 3: I mean it's for the best. I guess you know,

101
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,080
Speaker 3: you were like, I can't do it if this is

102
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,840
Speaker 3: a thing, and she's like, this is always going to

103
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:44,320
Speaker 3: be a thing.

104
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,400
Speaker 4: So yeah, so I think I think she made the

105
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,040
Speaker 4: right decision.

106
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,240
Speaker 3: Prospective says she can do whatever she wants. You can

107
00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,880
Speaker 3: do whatever you want. If you don't see yourself being

108
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:56,400
Speaker 3: married to a spicy club owner and she wants to

109
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,080
Speaker 3: be one, then this is the best outcome. Move on,

110
00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,080
Speaker 3: move on, move on.

111
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:01,880
Speaker 4: We're done.

112
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,520
Speaker 3: It's time to move along. Move along. Opie says, it

113
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:06,400
Speaker 3: is the best outcome.

114
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:06,919
Speaker 2: I agree.

115
00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:09,599
Speaker 3: It was our third conversation about the issue, and each

116
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,520
Speaker 3: time she offered no sort of indication that she felt

117
00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:17,240
Speaker 3: my feelings were valid. Pooptacular five thousand. Does she do

118
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,160
Speaker 3: the clothing removal as well? She covers for the bartender,

119
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,920
Speaker 3: and I assume that means she covers for others as well.

120
00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:27,360
Speaker 3: Opie says, no, she doesn't do that. If a dancer

121
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,960
Speaker 3: doesn't show up, it's not the end of the world

122
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,800
Speaker 3: because the other dancers just pick up the slack. Wait

123
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:34,880
Speaker 3: staff for the restaurant and bartenders and cashiers for the

124
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,400
Speaker 3: store are the roles she feels she can do. She

125
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:41,839
Speaker 3: does dress a little more provocatively when bartending, but nothing indecent.

126
00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:45,560
Speaker 3: And there's a second update. Oh, that's an interesting way

127
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:45,920
Speaker 3: to put that.

128
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:47,320
Speaker 1: Well.

129
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,320
Speaker 3: Second update starts with I broke up with my ex

130
00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:54,200
Speaker 3: girlfriend against Reddit's advice, because she owns a spicy club

131
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:57,280
Speaker 3: that she inherited from her father and she refused to sell.

132
00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 3: Didn't you just say she dumped you on the spot?

133
00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:05,039
Speaker 3: I guess it was amicable, so it was like we

134
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:07,120
Speaker 3: both agreed it was for the best.

135
00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:10,800
Speaker 4: I don't know, I feel like he probably well, the

136
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,120
Speaker 4: reason he brought it up was because I think he

137
00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,120
Speaker 4: wanted it to work. And then she, you know, he's like,

138
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,320
Speaker 4: I just feel uncomfortable, blah blah blah, And it was

139
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,760
Speaker 4: like the third time he was bringing it up, and

140
00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,640
Speaker 4: she's like, yeah, no, I don't want to hear about

141
00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:23,640
Speaker 4: it anymore. This is what I'm doing, so.

142
00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:28,520
Speaker 3: My true I ended up telling my parents what she

143
00:06:28,600 --> 00:06:31,800
Speaker 3: did for a living, and they were shockingly cool with it.

144
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,360
Speaker 3: Oh no, they've been there, They've been to the club.

145
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:36,839
Speaker 4: They've seen what she does.

146
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:39,760
Speaker 3: Her parents are like, oh, yeah, she does a great

147
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,760
Speaker 3: job managing that place. We love it there.

148
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:43,039
Speaker 4: I've been there till four am.

149
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,000
Speaker 3: My dad said he even had his suspicions because he

150
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,440
Speaker 3: knew her dad growing up and figured it out through

151
00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:53,080
Speaker 3: the last name. Her dad was well known in town.

152
00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,479
Speaker 3: I went to the Clear last week to try to

153
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,320
Speaker 3: talk to her, but she was covering for a bartender again.

154
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,240
Speaker 3: She was dressed up as Harley Quinn and she did

155
00:07:03,279 --> 00:07:06,440
Speaker 3: the shotgun cocking motion with the bat like Harley did

156
00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:09,080
Speaker 3: in the movie while I was across the room heading

157
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,800
Speaker 3: towards the bar. Next thing I know, I was being

158
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:15,840
Speaker 3: escorted out by the bouncers. She blocked me completely on everything.

159
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,640
Speaker 3: I was thinking of sending her a snail mail letter,

160
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,000
Speaker 3: but does that even work. I'm not even sure what

161
00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,440
Speaker 3: I would say. And that's the end of that story.

162
00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,760
Speaker 4: Boy, you down bad? You want her back?

163
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,760
Speaker 3: I think I think it's time to move on. I

164
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,640
Speaker 3: don't know. I think I think it should probably be over.

165
00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,320
Speaker 4: I also agree that it should be over because she

166
00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:39,560
Speaker 4: seems like she absolutely knows what she wants and you

167
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,240
Speaker 4: are more like, well, I don't want you to do that,

168
00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:44,720
Speaker 4: and she's like, well that sucks because I'm gonna do it.

169
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,320
Speaker 4: This is my family business, and I just feel a

170
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:50,080
Speaker 4: responsibility to do it and I actually enjoy it as well.

171
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:53,160
Speaker 3: Well, maybe it could be like a lover's to enemies

172
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:58,000
Speaker 3: to friends to lovers again arc or frenemies. Yeah, I

173
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,760
Speaker 3: mean she's you know, it's a little cheeky, little cheeky

174
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:05,040
Speaker 3: with that get a matty, but you know we're getting

175
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,160
Speaker 3: nauty here with this story. And that's the end of

176
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,480
Speaker 3: this story. We're gonna go on to the next one.

177
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:13,720
Speaker 4: My boyfriend hit his diagnosis our entire relationship, so I

178
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:15,160
Speaker 4: packed my things and left.

179
00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:19,360
Speaker 3: Whatever happened a private medical information.

180
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:24,240
Speaker 4: My eggs thirty mail and I twenty eight female. We're

181
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,280
Speaker 4: together for four years. We did everything together. We are

182
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,840
Speaker 4: both truck drivers, so we used to work together, play

183
00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:33,959
Speaker 4: video games together, went everywhere together, literally did everything together.

184
00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:37,640
Speaker 4: But once we decided to go stay home from driving

185
00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:40,800
Speaker 4: cross country for two years things started to change. By

186
00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,079
Speaker 4: the way, this comes from pedal smash or ninety seven

187
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,880
Speaker 4: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

188
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:49,480
Speaker 4: to the r slash Okay storytime subreddit. I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota,

189
00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:52,080
Speaker 4: and we all here to give some good advice. Goofully.

190
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,920
Speaker 4: We do not have all of the answers that you seek.

191
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:58,040
Speaker 4: We'd only tell you what we would do in this situation,

192
00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:00,120
Speaker 4: but let us know what you would do, especially if

193
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:02,840
Speaker 4: you're a truck driver in this situation, I would get

194
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:09,520
Speaker 4: in the comments That's what I would do too, and

195
00:09:09,520 --> 00:09:11,559
Speaker 4: then I would tie a Teddy Bear to the front

196
00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,760
Speaker 4: of my grill. As OPI says, I ended up getting

197
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,920
Speaker 4: a very good paying job driving trucks delivering gas to

198
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:21,240
Speaker 4: gas stations, and he ended up getting an okay paying job.

199
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:25,079
Speaker 4: We lived in a three income household, him, his mom,

200
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,960
Speaker 4: and I. Oh the mom's there too. Between all three

201
00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:30,040
Speaker 4: of us, I made the most money, so with that

202
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,240
Speaker 4: I was paying the bills, buying all the groceries, keeping

203
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,920
Speaker 4: the house above water. Basically, on top of all this,

204
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:39,120
Speaker 4: he has three kids, oh wow, two baby mamas, and

205
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:42,439
Speaker 4: with this okay paying job, half of his paychecks goes

206
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,400
Speaker 4: to child support. He would only have enough money to

207
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,320
Speaker 4: pay his car payment and half the phone bill. At

208
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,319
Speaker 4: the end of paying all of the bills, buying groceries,

209
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,640
Speaker 4: and buying his kids clothes, school shoes, and school supplies,

210
00:09:54,679 --> 00:09:57,080
Speaker 4: I would be left with two hundred dollars to my name.

211
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,640
Speaker 4: Majority of the time I was negative in my bank

212
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:02,400
Speaker 4: account or barely having enough money for myself for the

213
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:05,319
Speaker 4: next two weeks. There were other issues in our relationship.

214
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,080
Speaker 4: I caught him messaging other women going to go meet

215
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,199
Speaker 4: with them. He didn't help me with his kids, none

216
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:14,320
Speaker 4: of the housework, didn't cook nothing. He would come home

217
00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,520
Speaker 4: from work, take a shower, and play the video game Uh,

218
00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:20,680
Speaker 4: whereas me I would come home from working twelve to

219
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,320
Speaker 4: fifteen hour ships and cook dinner for everyone six people,

220
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,080
Speaker 4: make sure everyone ate, do the dishes, make sure the

221
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,640
Speaker 4: kids were ready for school, clean the kitchen, and then

222
00:10:28,679 --> 00:10:31,040
Speaker 4: take my shower and get three to four hours of sleep.

223
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:33,440
Speaker 4: I did express to him that I need help. I

224
00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:36,079
Speaker 4: can't do everything and I'm getting tired, and for a

225
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,840
Speaker 4: little while he would help do the dishes, do some laundry,

226
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:42,160
Speaker 4: entertain the kids. It didn't last long. It came with

227
00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:45,000
Speaker 4: complaints of his back hurting while he did the dishes,

228
00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:47,240
Speaker 4: or him saying I will put clothes in the washer

229
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,600
Speaker 4: and start it for you, but you have to put

230
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:51,439
Speaker 4: them in the dryer and put the clothes away when

231
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,240
Speaker 4: they're done. It was a lot. I started getting burnt

232
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,559
Speaker 4: out tired last year. In November, I started working for

233
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,720
Speaker 4: a different fuel hauling company, but instead of working days

234
00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:03,560
Speaker 4: three am to three pm, I had work nights one

235
00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:06,240
Speaker 4: pm to one am. I couldn't be home to cook

236
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,600
Speaker 4: dinners or make sure the house was clean, or make

237
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:11,000
Speaker 4: sure the kids were good because I would be at work.

238
00:11:11,320 --> 00:11:16,760
Speaker 4: On Saturday, December thirteenth, twenty twenty twenty five, I'm at

239
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,920
Speaker 4: work and I get a text from my boyfriend saying

240
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,480
Speaker 4: that his mom is pissed off at me. He told

241
00:11:21,559 --> 00:11:25,559
Speaker 4: me she was talking crazy about me, about how lazy

242
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,640
Speaker 4: I am, how I don't help clean up around the house,

243
00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,920
Speaker 4: and just more stuff. This is just the general summary

244
00:11:31,960 --> 00:11:34,680
Speaker 4: of what she said, but it was a whole lot worse.

245
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,160
Speaker 4: It made me feel horrible. I felt I wasn't welcome

246
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,720
Speaker 4: coming back home after everything that he was telling me

247
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,520
Speaker 4: she was saying about me. I tried to ignore all

248
00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:45,160
Speaker 4: of it because at the end of the day, I'm

249
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:50,000
Speaker 4: driving a rolling bomb and needed to focus on work. Well.

250
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:52,680
Speaker 4: Later that evening, he tells me he has a confession

251
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,320
Speaker 4: to make. He told me that he had been keeping

252
00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:59,160
Speaker 4: a secret from me that he got harpies ten years ago.

253
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:06,960
Speaker 3: What what? Ah No, is this a crime? Can we

254
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,200
Speaker 3: crime this man? I?

255
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would consider that a crime. I mean, I

256
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:15,280
Speaker 4: know it's like technically not considered a crime, but like, why.

257
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:19,920
Speaker 3: Would what he just did biological warfare on you? Ah No?

258
00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,000
Speaker 4: He claimed he had forgot to tell me and when

259
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:27,120
Speaker 4: he would have a flare up, he would just choose

260
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,000
Speaker 4: not to tell me.

261
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,640
Speaker 3: I would forget Sorry, babe, I forgot to tell you,

262
00:12:30,679 --> 00:12:32,760
Speaker 3: except for all the times that I remembered I have it,

263
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:36,719
Speaker 3: and then just actively decided not to tell you that.

264
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,400
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know about everyone else that would.

265
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:42,720
Speaker 4: If I'm going to be like active in that way,

266
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,440
Speaker 4: I will tell you if there is something wrong with me.

267
00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:50,520
Speaker 4: That's just like like that, that is just like basic

268
00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:52,599
Speaker 4: human decency. Yeah, I feel.

269
00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:55,200
Speaker 3: Honestly, I don't even like it feels like clearly this

270
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,480
Speaker 3: guy is checked out of the relationship. He's like at

271
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,880
Speaker 3: cheating on you. He doesn't really care, Like I don't know.

272
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:04,080
Speaker 3: It almost feels like he's he's doing something to be like, yeah,

273
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,040
Speaker 3: just to leave, leave me, get leave.

274
00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,800
Speaker 4: Yeah. It seems like he's like giving you all the

275
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,160
Speaker 4: reasons to do it, and you're just like, well, I

276
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:15,319
Speaker 4: don't know. If he made like three more mistakes, maybe.

277
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,840
Speaker 3: His fingers crossed. Please I hope. Maybe he doesn't even

278
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,280
Speaker 3: have it and he's just trying to say this to

279
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:21,080
Speaker 3: get you to leave.

280
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:25,000
Speaker 4: I hope so hopefully. I felt like my whole world crashed.

281
00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:27,560
Speaker 4: It felt like someone threw two grenades at me and

282
00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:31,120
Speaker 4: they both exploded at the same time. I was angry, heartbroken,

283
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:34,960
Speaker 4: I felt betrayed, lied to. I feel like he kept

284
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,600
Speaker 4: a very serious secret for me, something that should have

285
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,640
Speaker 4: been mentioned when we first started talking. I was a

286
00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,520
Speaker 4: mess of emotions. He swore up and down that he

287
00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:46,200
Speaker 4: didn't cheat on me, But in my opinion, how could

288
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,640
Speaker 4: you forget that you have her baes? You don't just

289
00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:52,240
Speaker 4: forget stuff like that, and then when you remember you do,

290
00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,960
Speaker 4: you still choose not to tell me. Yeah, It's like

291
00:13:55,559 --> 00:13:58,800
Speaker 4: it's one thing to forget, but you don't forget that. Like,

292
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000
Speaker 4: I don't know when I when I think of like

293
00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:05,679
Speaker 4: that that I will ask, I will you know? Just

294
00:14:05,720 --> 00:14:10,240
Speaker 4: to be safe? So I yeah, And then and then

295
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,040
Speaker 4: even when you do, remember you just choose not to

296
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:18,160
Speaker 4: say anything is crazy and admit that I didn't know

297
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:21,240
Speaker 4: what to believe. I came home that night walking on eggshells,

298
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:21,680
Speaker 4: cause what.

299
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,440
Speaker 3: What you didn't know what to believe?

300
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,800
Speaker 4: I did? You have?

301
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:28,200
Speaker 2: You have?

302
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,560
Speaker 3: You've never heard of lying before in your life? This

303
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:33,960
Speaker 3: guy's lying to you clearly.

304
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,680
Speaker 4: I came home that night walking on eggshells because I

305
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,080
Speaker 4: didn't know if I was welcome or not, feeling that

306
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,880
Speaker 4: my heart had been shattered into a million pieces as

307
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,160
Speaker 4: I stepped into the house. Fast forward to December sixteenth,

308
00:14:45,160 --> 00:14:47,360
Speaker 4: So three days later, I wake up to a text

309
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,040
Speaker 4: from him basically saying we need to talk. So I

310
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,720
Speaker 4: texted him and he basically said, I think we should separate.

311
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,200
Speaker 4: You've been very distant ever since I told you about

312
00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:59,080
Speaker 4: my STD. I feel like you're not being supportive and

313
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,520
Speaker 4: understanding it. It is very mean and it's breaking my heart.

314
00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:05,320
Speaker 4: I told him, if he doesn't understand where my emotions

315
00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,680
Speaker 4: and reaction is coming from, then he doesn't really care

316
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:10,600
Speaker 4: about me. It ended up turning into a heated exchange

317
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,400
Speaker 4: of text messages, so I agreed that we should separate

318
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,120
Speaker 4: and moved in with my mom that night, on December eighteenth.

319
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,800
Speaker 4: Two days later, I rented a U haul truck, rented

320
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:22,640
Speaker 4: a storage unit, and grabbed all my things from his house.

321
00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,800
Speaker 4: We said our goodbyes and I left. It's now January ninth,

322
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,520
Speaker 4: twenty twenty six, and I finally blocked him on everything.

323
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,880
Speaker 4: We were texting back and forth, casually, cordially up until today.

324
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,520
Speaker 4: I wanted so bad for him to still be in

325
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:38,840
Speaker 4: my life. He was my best friend, but it was

326
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,720
Speaker 4: getting toxic. He was sending me messages that you left

327
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:43,600
Speaker 4: without fighting.

328
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:49,000
Speaker 3: Oh my god, if you really loved me, you would

329
00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:50,280
Speaker 3: have been more understanding.

330
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 4: I would have never left you if you told me

331
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,840
Speaker 4: you had had a STD.

332
00:15:56,040 --> 00:15:58,880
Speaker 3: Okay ya ya ya yai.

333
00:15:59,120 --> 00:15:59,920
Speaker 4: Thanks guys.

334
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:03,680
Speaker 3: Things just further confirmation that it's you did, that this

335
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:06,160
Speaker 3: is the right thing to do. You need to be

336
00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:07,400
Speaker 3: gone from this.

337
00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:11,200
Speaker 4: The fact that he's gaslighting you into being like if

338
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:15,040
Speaker 4: you would have had an STD, I would have accepted it, Like,

339
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,280
Speaker 4: but no, you wouldn't. No one does that.

340
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,840
Speaker 3: I don't know, like I don't if he's just leaving

341
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:25,680
Speaker 3: out the most important context, which is like, you lied

342
00:16:25,720 --> 00:16:29,760
Speaker 3: about it for ten years. That's the that's the biggest thing.

343
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 3: That you lied to me about it the whole time

344
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:32,360
Speaker 3: we were together.

345
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh my god. I feel a mix of emotions

346
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,040
Speaker 4: from all of this. I don't know what to feel.

347
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,560
Speaker 4: Did I do the wrong thing and not try to

348
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,120
Speaker 4: figure out how to continue a relationship with someone who

349
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,760
Speaker 4: has an STD? Am I wrong for just leaving? It's

350
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,520
Speaker 4: also I did get tested and tested negative for everything?

351
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:54,960
Speaker 3: Good Wow, thank goodness. No, you didn't do the wrong thing.

352
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:56,960
Speaker 4: That's honestly crazy.

353
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,720
Speaker 3: We're also leaving out. This guy was talking to other

354
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,920
Speaker 3: people people and trying to meet up with them.

355
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:04,760
Speaker 4: He was talking to other girl like messaging other women.

356
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:08,320
Speaker 4: He also lied about his STD test and then also

357
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,440
Speaker 4: was saying, oh, yeah, my mom thinks you're lazy, by

358
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,679
Speaker 4: the way, because you're not doing everything that you were

359
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,560
Speaker 4: supposed to do because you now are working different hours.

360
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, which is weird because it's like, why wouldn't he

361
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,520
Speaker 3: just like shield you from that or like defend you

362
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:22,400
Speaker 3: about that. And then also at this point, I'm now

363
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,199
Speaker 3: being like, are you lying about the child support? Like like,

364
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,520
Speaker 3: are you just taking my money?

365
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:27,320
Speaker 4: Yeah?

366
00:17:27,359 --> 00:17:29,480
Speaker 3: Like, what's going on? Yeah, if you can lie about that,

367
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:30,760
Speaker 3: you can lie about anything forever.

368
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,600
Speaker 4: This guy seems like he's horrible and also just doesn't

369
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:37,600
Speaker 4: really I don't like. I mean, I don't know what

370
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,680
Speaker 4: your long goal plan is, but I don't think he's

371
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:41,480
Speaker 4: matching up with it. I don't think he want to

372
00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:44,359
Speaker 4: be in this girl too much. There is an update.

373
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 4: After two months, I am single. I blocked my X

374
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,240
Speaker 4: on every social media platform that I have, but it

375
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:54,920
Speaker 4: didn't stop him. Maybe two weeks after I blocked him,

376
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,959
Speaker 4: he tried reaching out to me via email, fake phone numbers,

377
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,359
Speaker 4: his mom's phone, and his two daughters. He wanted to

378
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:05,199
Speaker 4: talk things through. I continued to block him, and I

379
00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,520
Speaker 4: began getting very annoyed. I just want to be left alone.

380
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,399
Speaker 4: I want to heal in peace. But I soon realize

381
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,520
Speaker 4: he is reaching out to me to see if he

382
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,640
Speaker 4: can get me back to help him so he can

383
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:23,240
Speaker 4: have his bangmade backo ew as some of the comments

384
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:27,240
Speaker 4: referred to me as I'm still driving trucks and delivering

385
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 4: the good gas for them gas stations. I have found

386
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,000
Speaker 4: that I can sleep a full eight to nine hours now.

387
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:38,520
Speaker 4: Oh yes, I have so much time on my hands.

388
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,000
Speaker 4: Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself. I'm

389
00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:43,040
Speaker 4: still living with my mom, helping her pay bills and

390
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,520
Speaker 4: everything else, and I'm still able to save money, y'all,

391
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:47,920
Speaker 4: I'm saving money.

392
00:18:49,119 --> 00:18:52,160
Speaker 3: Save that money, girl, Yeah, you got out.

393
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:56,160
Speaker 4: Continue to block him, continue to ignore him, do your thing.

394
00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 4: Eventually he'll stop. He'll give up, Thank god, he will.

395
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 3: And then he will give up and move on to

396
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:02,840
Speaker 3: a new target.

397
00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:06,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, and then he'll have a new bang made.

398
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,960
Speaker 3: Ew. I'm very glad that you tested negative.

399
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's crazy.

400
00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,840
Speaker 3: These people be like, well, you're tested negative, so you

401
00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:15,959
Speaker 3: should forgive him.

402
00:19:16,119 --> 00:19:18,439
Speaker 4: I feel like it's a lot easier for women to

403
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,160
Speaker 4: get STDs than it is for guys. Like a lot

404
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:25,080
Speaker 4: of women it will not exactly like there's just a

405
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:29,040
Speaker 4: lot of women get more symptoms than like guys. Like

406
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:32,520
Speaker 4: guys don't really like notice it. Honestly, it depends. I'm

407
00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:36,479
Speaker 4: probably saying this wrong, but I feel what I believe

408
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 4: is like, I feel like women are more prone to

409
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,719
Speaker 4: it STD's.

410
00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:46,439
Speaker 3: Thank you, doctor Savannah.

411
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 4: My life is a complete one eighty from what it

412
00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 4: was a few months ago, and I'm loving it so peaceful,

413
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,680
Speaker 4: so much time to myself. I only have to worry

414
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,520
Speaker 4: about those who truly love me, my mom. I can

415
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:02,879
Speaker 4: keep my tire paycheck to myself. So many benefits to

416
00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:05,760
Speaker 4: me being away from him and everything that comes with him.

417
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,719
Speaker 4: There are some relevant comments from OP. I did get

418
00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,600
Speaker 4: tested and all the results are negative. Yes, we have

419
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,440
Speaker 4: established that. I'm pretty sure he cheated or was cheating

420
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,720
Speaker 4: on me when I started working night shift and caught

421
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:21,280
Speaker 4: the STD and then tried to fabricate a story about it. Oh,

422
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:24,440
Speaker 4: my mom and I are super close. We help each

423
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:26,879
Speaker 4: other with everything around the apartment. My mom is my

424
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,159
Speaker 4: biggest supporter. To be honest, I don't know what I

425
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,880
Speaker 4: would do without her. That's the end. Good for you, OP,

426
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,479
Speaker 4: Glad you got out of it. This guy sucks and

427
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:40,320
Speaker 4: he's manipulative, liar gaslight. He's literally the full package of

428
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,360
Speaker 4: just toxicity.

429
00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 3: He's the whole package, and he's got the herb and

430
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 3: he also has her peace.

431
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 4: So there's nothing really to get out of this. So good,

432
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 4: good thing you got out because you were losing a

433
00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:57,000
Speaker 4: lot of who you were and all your well being.

434
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:59,000
Speaker 3: So and now you've got your money back.

435
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:02,159
Speaker 4: Now you've got your money girl, you wear money city

436
00:21:02,560 --> 00:21:06,440
Speaker 4: yun and you got you know, well, not a new job,

437
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,800
Speaker 4: but I mean still doing what you love. Good for

438
00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 4: ee opm. That's the end of that story.

439
00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,720
Speaker 3: I handed my fiance the bill for his work events.

440
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 3: He questioned every item.

441
00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:18,680
Speaker 4: Maybe he's just a thorough guy.

442
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,960
Speaker 3: My fiance Fred works at a place that throws a

443
00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,240
Speaker 3: lot of compulsory social events that involve a dress code.

444
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:28,560
Speaker 3: Usually once a month, but often two or three. I'm

445
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,399
Speaker 3: not one for dressing up, but when he has these things,

446
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,280
Speaker 3: I always go with him and dress accordingly to the

447
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:37,359
Speaker 3: dress code. I have three passes a year to not

448
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,359
Speaker 3: go by the way. This comes from a deleted user.

449
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,080
Speaker 3: If you want to submit your own stories, go to

450
00:21:42,119 --> 00:21:45,600
Speaker 3: the r slash Okay storytime subret it. I'm Dakota, I'm Savannah,

451
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 3: and we're here to give good advice. Goofleiing. But we

452
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,679
Speaker 3: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

453
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,199
Speaker 3: would do, So let us know what you would do

454
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 3: in the comments and dop says. At the last fundraiser,

455
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,359
Speaker 3: one of his coworkers wives asked me if the dress

456
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,680
Speaker 3: I was wearing the same dress I wore a couple

457
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 3: months ago to another event, and I said yes. The

458
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,399
Speaker 3: coworker here's this and asks Fred if he can't afford

459
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:12,160
Speaker 3: to buy me a new dress. Fred thought the coworker

460
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,240
Speaker 3: was a Weianer, but later told me he was embarrassed

461
00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:17,439
Speaker 3: by the joke and asked me to get a new

462
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 3: dress for next time. Boo, here's the thing. Fred makes

463
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,919
Speaker 3: more than double what I make. The only reason I

464
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:26,760
Speaker 3: can afford as many dresses and shoes and accessories as

465
00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 3: I currently can is because he pays twice what I

466
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 3: do in everything else. He suggested this initially because he

467
00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 3: wanted a bigger place that I couldn't afford to pay

468
00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 3: half on, and we've been living like this for a

469
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,639
Speaker 3: year now. However, every event, which is minimum once a month,

470
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:45,439
Speaker 3: requires a new dress, new jewelry, a new bag, and

471
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:46,440
Speaker 3: new shoes.

472
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 4: Does it though? That's so obnoxious?

473
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 5: Does it really?

474
00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 2: Though?

475
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,520
Speaker 3: Recently, I've also started to get my hair done professionally

476
00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 3: before these events because his bosses. Boss's wife and I

477
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,200
Speaker 3: get on well, and she asked me a few months

478
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,920
Speaker 3: ago to start getting ready with her, which means going

479
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 3: to the same salon she does and getting my hair

480
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:13,399
Speaker 3: and nails done for the event while she gets hers done.

481
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,639
Speaker 3: I wanted to stop doing this after the first time,

482
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,480
Speaker 3: but Fred asked me to continue because he thinks if

483
00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:21,239
Speaker 3: I talk him up to the wife, she'll talk him

484
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 3: up to the boss. There's been occasions where getting ready

485
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 3: with her has also involved going with her to choose

486
00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:29,240
Speaker 3: her dress, and she's picked me out a dress or

487
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,120
Speaker 3: a bag or shoes for the event, and I've had

488
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 3: to get them. Just for the last event. The cost

489
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 3: of hair's nails, dress, shoes, bag and jewelry came to

490
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:43,439
Speaker 3: over six hundred pounds. There's an average of two events

491
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 3: each month, so twelve hundred pounds per month average to

492
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,600
Speaker 3: get to those events. I make about eighteen hundred pounds

493
00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 3: a month. Living expenses even with him paying significantly more

494
00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,560
Speaker 3: than I do, come out to about five hundred pounds.

495
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 3: I collected up my receipts, handed them to him and said, look,

496
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:04,120
Speaker 3: I'm fine with coming to your things, but I need

497
00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,879
Speaker 3: you to help me out with them. You know how

498
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 3: much I make and all of my disposable income is

499
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 3: going into this. If you want me in all new

500
00:24:11,320 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 3: stuff every month, then I need you to pitch in.

501
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 3: If the budget doesn't stretch that far, then I'm just

502
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 3: gonna have to wear my old dresses. He then starts

503
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 3: going through the receipts, asking if I really needed this

504
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 3: or that. He then said that he already pays out

505
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,640
Speaker 3: a shed load every month and he's going to need

506
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 3: me to keep spending as normal. I said that he

507
00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:35,080
Speaker 3: needs to at least partially fund the next outfit or

508
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,159
Speaker 3: I'm using my pass? Am I the a hole? And

509
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:42,119
Speaker 3: there are some more comments here from Ope. I don't know.

510
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 3: I think you need to have the discussion of like,

511
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 3: I just can't afford this, and I'm gonna have to

512
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:50,399
Speaker 3: tell your boss's wife that.

513
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:55,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, like I mean they made what I was it

514
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:57,199
Speaker 4: the boss's wife who made the comment or no, it

515
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,880
Speaker 4: was someone else who made the comment of like, well,

516
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,880
Speaker 4: you can't afford another dress for her, you know, So

517
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,439
Speaker 4: that obviously bruce his ego. And so now he's like,

518
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:06,840
Speaker 4: you need to buy a dress, a new dress for

519
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 4: each occasion. And it's like, okay, that's what. So at

520
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:15,479
Speaker 4: least once a month, So that's twelve new dresses. And

521
00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:19,280
Speaker 4: I'm guessing there, you know, luxury dresses. I don't think

522
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,959
Speaker 4: that they're you know, anything like you know, going to

523
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,240
Speaker 4: like Target or TJ Max or something like you're going

524
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,040
Speaker 4: to like probably like a boutique or something.

525
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 3: I don't know. Every outfit's at least six hundred pounds.

526
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:35,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, so I mean that's a lot. I think, I.

527
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 3: Think this could be the opportunity he's looking for if

528
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 3: you leverage this right to the wife. It's like, yeah,

529
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 3: I want to keep buying all these dresses, but like

530
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,360
Speaker 3: you know, he's it's a lot of it's a lot

531
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 3: of expense. Maybe my husband needs a raise for the Girlies, raised.

532
00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 4: For the Girlies, raise for my dresses.

533
00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 3: I don't know, but we've got some comments here. He

534
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 3: says that he doesn't make me go, and if I

535
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,800
Speaker 3: said I didn't want to go, he wouldn't force me.

536
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,919
Speaker 3: But if I had my way, I would never ever

537
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 3: have to go, which is one extreme or the other.

538
00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 3: I suggested we each get passes to get out of

539
00:26:15,119 --> 00:26:17,639
Speaker 3: events as a sort of compromise, as he hates my

540
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:20,960
Speaker 3: work related events too. If I ever used up my

541
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,680
Speaker 3: passes but still didn't want to go, he would never

542
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 3: make me. I suggested the passes just so I would

543
00:26:26,520 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 3: feel better about it. We are getting married, so we

544
00:26:29,800 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 3: can't keep our lives separate. He goes to my stuff

545
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,560
Speaker 3: and I go to his. We both hate it, but

546
00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:40,200
Speaker 3: whoever has to go hates it more. He dislikes going

547
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:41,959
Speaker 3: as much as I do, but he has to go

548
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,240
Speaker 3: to his the same way I have to go to mine.

549
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:46,880
Speaker 3: So I'm there to talk him up and provide moral

550
00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:49,399
Speaker 3: support and he does the same for me, and we

551
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:50,440
Speaker 3: do have an update.

552
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:52,679
Speaker 4: I feel like, if you're going to these and you

553
00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:56,680
Speaker 4: both hate it, you should try something like doing something

554
00:26:57,560 --> 00:27:00,240
Speaker 4: like while you're there or like, you know, make keen

555
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 4: it fun, you know, because I feel like you if

556
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 4: you're like cool people like and like creative people, you

557
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 4: can make fun out of any situation. Like if you

558
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 4: hate going to these things, it's like, okay, what's like

559
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 4: something like we can do like a workplace bingo or something.

560
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 3: Channel the fact that you both hate it, like into

561
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 3: making it more fun.

562
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, because I feel like that's what's gonna instead of

563
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 4: you both just being like hate it here, hate it here,

564
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 4: hate you know.

565
00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 3: But that aside. I do think if the way that

566
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 3: this is being approached is that you are going and

567
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 3: doing this because the person you're doing it with is

568
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:43,320
Speaker 3: a possible like social political connection that could further his career,

569
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 3: then he needs to approach it as a business expense

570
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 3: for him, So it should be coming from him at

571
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:56,160
Speaker 3: least like part of it. Like he's saying, you need

572
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 3: to pay for all this yourself. It's like he should

573
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 3: be splitting it or paying like seventy five percent of

574
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 3: it or something. If he's really looking at it that way,

575
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:05,760
Speaker 3: then that's that's what's fair.

576
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 4: And he's the one who wants you to have new dresses,

577
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,600
Speaker 4: like that's the thing. It's like you you're like, I'm

578
00:28:12,600 --> 00:28:16,120
Speaker 4: fine with like rewaring dresses because who wears a dress once?

579
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:18,960
Speaker 3: Like you know, well, yeah, it seems like the reason

580
00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:22,040
Speaker 3: that the dress needs to be new every time is

581
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,200
Speaker 3: perciends every time the boss's wife goes out and shops

582
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,360
Speaker 3: for new dresses. Yeah, so it's like that's the ritual

583
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,439
Speaker 3: that allows her to get closer to her. So I

584
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 3: don't know if this is if it's all about the

585
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:40,560
Speaker 3: social workplace politics, then it needs to be coming out

586
00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:41,400
Speaker 3: of his money as well.

587
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:46,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know. I mean you've like op has said,

588
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 4: like I'll just rewar it, and he's like no, So

589
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,000
Speaker 4: like I don't know. And if you want to figure

590
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,080
Speaker 4: out something like maybe he buys the dresses you buy,

591
00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,160
Speaker 4: like the shoes and like accessories.

592
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,400
Speaker 3: Or something like yeah, just something there needs. It needs

593
00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 3: to be a communal you guys need to work together

594
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 3: on it. And there is an update. We have a

595
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,640
Speaker 3: new agreement. He will pay for everything going forward for

596
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 3: his work events and the salon appointments as they are

597
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 3: for him. If he is ever required to get clothing

598
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,360
Speaker 3: for my work or social events, I will also cover

599
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 3: the cost. But that has happened once in the four

600
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,320
Speaker 3: years we've been together. I'm going to keep going to

601
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 3: these work events because we're in a relationship when we

602
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 3: are going to be in for the rest of our lives.

603
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 3: I will continue to go to these events and talk

604
00:29:29,880 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 3: him up one or three nights per month for as

605
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 3: long as he works there, because he needs me to

606
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,560
Speaker 3: do that, and he will come to my work and

607
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,720
Speaker 3: social events because I need him to do that. So yes,

608
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 3: I like this. It's exactly what we were talking about.

609
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,520
Speaker 3: This is his expense, it's for him, it's so he

610
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 3: can get ahead at his workplace. I like this problem solved. Ohp,

611
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 3: he continues, just to add I've looked into clothing rentals

612
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 3: and tried a few services available here a while back,

613
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 3: and none of them were great. But I got a

614
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 3: lot of suggestions for ones that operate in my area

615
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,080
Speaker 3: that I could try, so I will be giving it

616
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 3: another go. It's also worth noting that I would probably

617
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 3: get away with re wearing some of the dresses I

618
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:14,280
Speaker 3: wore this time last year or earlier now, as it's

619
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 3: been over a year and there's an edit here for emphasis,

620
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 3: Please stop telling me to reconsider my engagement. I appreciate

621
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 3: that internet strangers are worried about my relationship, but I'm

622
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 3: a big girl and I know what I'm doing. Can

623
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 3: everyone please chill on telling me to end a loving, healthy,

624
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 3: functional relationship that I intend to be in for the

625
00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 3: rest of my life over my fiance not realizing how

626
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 3: expensive women's clothing is. Kindly chill And that is the

627
00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:42,120
Speaker 3: end of that story. Yeah, it didn't feel like we

628
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 3: were in divorce city for one second.

629
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 4: There, No, not at all.

630
00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 3: Just felt like we were in business negotiation town. Yeah,

631
00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 3: and we think, yeah, and we did. And we're now

632
00:30:53,240 --> 00:30:54,440
Speaker 3: moved out and living.

633
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:55,920
Speaker 4: In compromise City.

634
00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 3: Compromise City. That is the end of that story.

635
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:06,600
Speaker 4: My boyfriend controls every move I make while driving in

636
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:07,880
Speaker 4: a car I own.

637
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 3: Oh, he's in the back seat, but he's trying to drive.

638
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 4: I twenty three female, am in a long term relationship

639
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 4: with my boyfriend, twenty eight male. We met almost five

640
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,480
Speaker 4: years ago. We're not engaged or anything, but it is

641
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:26,320
Speaker 4: an exclusive long term relationship. Our finances are pulled. We

642
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,120
Speaker 4: work at the same place. By the way, this comes

643
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,960
Speaker 4: from second Okay eighty four to ten, and if you

644
00:31:31,960 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 4: want to smit your own stories, go to the r

645
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:37,440
Speaker 4: slash okay storytime subreddit. I'm Savannah, I'm Dakota, and we

646
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 4: are here to give you some gooded fischoofully, but we

647
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 4: do not have all of the answers. We'd only tell

648
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 4: you what we would do in this situation, but let

649
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 4: us know what you would do down in them comments.

650
00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 4: As Opie says, the car, which is important in this

651
00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,680
Speaker 4: post is technically owned by me because my name was

652
00:31:53,720 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 4: what we used to purchase it. I have Slash had

653
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 4: better credit than him. I paid for the down payment,

654
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,440
Speaker 4: which was two thousand dollars, but our finances are together,

655
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 4: so we really both pay on the bi weekly car payment.

656
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 4: The insurance has us both on it, and that also

657
00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:11,880
Speaker 4: comes from our shared finances. My boyfriend is the one

658
00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,000
Speaker 4: who drives the car. Most of the time. He is

659
00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:17,080
Speaker 4: a bit of a control freak, but he likes to drive,

660
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:20,120
Speaker 4: whereas I could take it or leave it whever. He's

661
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 4: not the only one who drives. Sometimes, for example, he

662
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,560
Speaker 4: will have me drive him somewhere because he is tired

663
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 4: or whatever. However, the following have been causing arguments. One,

664
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,440
Speaker 4: he wants me to use GPS at all times, even

665
00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 4: when it's like to the corner store. However, if he

666
00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 4: is in the car with me, he wants to go

667
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,320
Speaker 4: the way he says, instead of GPS, but it has

668
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 4: to stay on. Two, he does not like when I

669
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 4: drive without him. It stresses him out, and he will

670
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,040
Speaker 4: change plans to accompany me when I drive. I don't

671
00:32:49,040 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 4: really mind, but I wish he trusted me to drive

672
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,120
Speaker 4: on my own. Sometimes I feel like I lack independence

673
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 4: for no reason. And number three, the real thing that

674
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 4: makes me fight with him is that if I need

675
00:32:59,720 --> 00:33:03,280
Speaker 4: to turn or change lanes or literally anything, he wants

676
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:07,200
Speaker 4: me to ask first. Basically, if I'm about to put

677
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 4: on my Turney's signal, I usually say something like signal

678
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 4: to left lane okay, and he will say yes or no.

679
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 4: If he says no, he tells me what I should

680
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 4: do instead. The thing is, like I said, even if

681
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,040
Speaker 4: I'm going to the corner store or somewhere we go

682
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:24,240
Speaker 4: every day, or literally just somewhere where there's no question

683
00:33:24,320 --> 00:33:26,720
Speaker 4: that I need to turn right, I have to ask

684
00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:31,520
Speaker 4: him turn right right or something like that is usually

685
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,960
Speaker 4: what I say. When I don't, he gets really upset,

686
00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 4: or if I argue with him about it, he says

687
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 4: that lane changes in drive and driving decisions affect him personally,

688
00:33:42,120 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 4: so he has a right to have a say about it.

689
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, where where are we my guy? What

690
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 3: are we talking about?

691
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 4: Affecting me personally? If you don't like ask to like

692
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:55,680
Speaker 4: change lane.

693
00:33:55,440 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 3: This is a wild thing. It's also you have the

694
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 3: personal choice to just not be in the car with

695
00:34:02,040 --> 00:34:05,000
Speaker 3: me because that I could not deal with that.

696
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 4: It sounds like over bearing control.

697
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:09,799
Speaker 3: Yeah. At first I was like, Okay, maybe you can

698
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 3: lean into this and it can be like fun where

699
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,399
Speaker 3: it's like, you know, like you're two like astronauts being

700
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 3: like like like turn left twenty seven degrees, like just

701
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 3: like burners like on like turn left. But this sounds

702
00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 3: so what is the word Just like.

703
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 4: Imagine going on like a three hour trip and You're

704
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 4: just like I'm gonna turn left, okay.

705
00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:33,080
Speaker 3: God, just yeah, just overbearing. Just god, that's what it is.

706
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:36,360
Speaker 3: It's just so overbearing, Like, dude, relax, What do you

707
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,680
Speaker 3: mean I have to ask you to change lands?

708
00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:41,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, and that he has a right that's absurd.

709
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like that's like a like we need to

710
00:34:44,560 --> 00:34:47,080
Speaker 3: figure out, like I'm you know, is it an a

711
00:34:47,160 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 3: whole thing? Yeah, but like it really feels like a

712
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 3: trauma some yeah, some level of like we need to

713
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 3: work this out in therapy because that Yeah, that does

714
00:34:55,800 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 3: feel like some kind of trauma control like safety response

715
00:34:58,719 --> 00:34:59,200
Speaker 3: seems like.

716
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:01,680
Speaker 4: This is like a mental illness of some sort.

717
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:02,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

718
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 4: I don't know what it could be classified as, but

719
00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:08,399
Speaker 4: this seems very like over the top.

720
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:08,839
Speaker 2: Yeah.

721
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:12,319
Speaker 3: What especially he's like, I don't I have to be

722
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 3: with you when you drive because it stresses me out

723
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 3: thinking about you driving.

724
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:20,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, I just don't. This whole thing is very confusing

725
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 4: in theory. I understand that because it's true whatever I

726
00:35:24,520 --> 00:35:28,719
Speaker 4: do when driving does impact him. Yeah, However, it's a

727
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 4: double standard because he doesn't have to ask me. I

728
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 4: brought that up, like I get that my driving impacts you,

729
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:37,200
Speaker 4: but yours impacts me, and you don't check with me

730
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:40,000
Speaker 4: before you change lanes or make a turn. He says

731
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:43,000
Speaker 4: that while that's true, people have different boundaries and it's

732
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,359
Speaker 4: something that bothers him, but that it has never been

733
00:35:46,440 --> 00:35:49,319
Speaker 4: something that bothers me. So if I tried to have

734
00:35:49,360 --> 00:35:52,239
Speaker 4: that boundary now, it would be manipulative and just to

735
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:55,120
Speaker 4: match his, which means it isn't valid. When we are

736
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,919
Speaker 4: in the car with other couples, obviously none of them

737
00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 4: have this weird driving dynamic. In the end, sometimes I

738
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,680
Speaker 4: feel like this is really weird, But other times I

739
00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,880
Speaker 4: feel like my boyfriend's explanations make sense and I should

740
00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:09,400
Speaker 4: just respect it. I wonder if it's just a quirk

741
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 4: I should accept and drop in the future. However, sometimes

742
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 4: it feels like every year I lose more independence. Then

743
00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:19,240
Speaker 4: you're then you're not wrong, girl, hmmm, trust that instinct.

744
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,920
Speaker 4: Then again, I don't need to be super independence, so

745
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 4: it usually doesn't bother me.

746
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:24,640
Speaker 3: I don't know.

747
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 4: Anyway, Today we had a big fight about it because

748
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 4: I didn't ask. It's honestly embarrassing to ask to put

749
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,880
Speaker 4: all my turning signal and he's icing me out. Everything

750
00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,319
Speaker 4: else in our relationship is good and there's an edit

751
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:38,520
Speaker 4: is it though?

752
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, because if he's pulling this, I find that very unlikely.

753
00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,760
Speaker 4: Yeah. And if you're gonna have like kids with this.

754
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 3: Guy, like you literally just said, every year I lose

755
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 3: more independence, but I guess I don't need it.

756
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:56,360
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, it's like, mmm, no, everyone needs independence. You

757
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 4: need like you need to make your own choices on

758
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,120
Speaker 4: some things. Actually, when it comes to driving, you know,

759
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:05,920
Speaker 4: do you ask him like which you know, like spartan

760
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 4: spart which which like parking spot you take like, oh

761
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:10,080
Speaker 4: is this good?

762
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 3: Is it?

763
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:11,840
Speaker 4: Like you know, if you go to the gas ditation,

764
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 4: Oh should we go to number three? Is number four

765
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 4: not good?

766
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:14,920
Speaker 1: Like?

767
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 4: You know, it's just like it seems like it's going

768
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 4: to roll into other things in your life where you

769
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 4: have to ask permission to do things.

770
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, and y'all got together when you were like eighteen,

771
00:37:23,719 --> 00:37:29,000
Speaker 3: so there there are other relationships for you out there

772
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:32,160
Speaker 3: that are very normal. I would the very like if

773
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,479
Speaker 3: you if everything else really is perfect, My suggestion would

774
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:38,239
Speaker 3: be do like a trial separation and say, hey, we're

775
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 3: gonna like take a month, We're gonna take a month

776
00:37:40,200 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 3: apart and see how we feel at the end of

777
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 3: it and if during that he is like he can't

778
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 3: depending on how he reacts to that. If he reacts

779
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 3: to that with like just pure toxicity and like hostility, yeah,

780
00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 3: then it's definitely. It's definitely break up central.

781
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, there is an edit. So the comments started coming

782
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:01,440
Speaker 4: in really quickly. I thought i'd get maybe five comments

783
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 4: and didn't expect them to be so passionate. At first,

784
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:06,800
Speaker 4: I wanted to delete everything and run. My blood actually

785
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:09,760
Speaker 4: ran cold as I was reading everyone's perception of my situation.

786
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,600
Speaker 4: My heart is pounding. I keep crying, but not at

787
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 4: any comment in particular. Oh, I just keep crying.

788
00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 3: No, you've woken up. No, they woke you up. It's okay,

789
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 3: it's hard to wake up.

790
00:38:21,040 --> 00:38:24,360
Speaker 4: Sometimes this has me more emotional than I've been in

791
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:27,640
Speaker 4: a long time. I feel panic because I feel like

792
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 4: I'm right to question his weird boundaries, and I feel

793
00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 4: scared that you're all right, that it's only going to

794
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 4: get worse. But I am even more terrified of leaving him.

795
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 4: He is my best friend. I like so many things

796
00:38:39,360 --> 00:38:42,279
Speaker 4: about him. I would mourn our relationships so deeply, but

797
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:45,360
Speaker 4: you're all right, and I don't want to mourn my

798
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 4: youth and independence either way, though, I don't want to

799
00:38:48,719 --> 00:38:50,800
Speaker 4: make a decision right now because I don't want to

800
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 4: be influenced by the response that shocked me so much.

801
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:56,520
Speaker 4: I would take the advice of several commenters who said

802
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:58,760
Speaker 4: I should talk to my mom and let her know everything.

803
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,120
Speaker 4: As some of you get, my mom isn't a huge

804
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:03,720
Speaker 4: fan of him, but she has never said anything horrible.

805
00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,560
Speaker 4: But I have not told her all of this either.

806
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:10,839
Speaker 3: Oh well, I have a feeling she's gonna tell you

807
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:11,960
Speaker 3: to break up she.

808
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,439
Speaker 4: Yeah, Yeah, this isn't gonna make her like him, that's

809
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:16,879
Speaker 4: for sure.

810
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just gonna say, don't even do the trial step,

811
00:39:20,080 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 3: just break up. It's I think that's the right call.

812
00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:26,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think this guy's not right in the mind.

813
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,200
Speaker 3: I think there's probably a lot of stuff going on

814
00:39:29,280 --> 00:39:33,360
Speaker 3: that you haven't recognized as negative or toxic in the

815
00:39:33,360 --> 00:39:34,879
Speaker 3: way that he is in your relationship.

816
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,480
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think that Tell your mom. Your mom's not

817
00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 4: gonna like it, and it's gonna be breakup city.

818
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,280
Speaker 3: Break up a clock, break up a clock.

819
00:39:45,840 --> 00:39:48,040
Speaker 4: All right, I'll talk to my mom and get some

820
00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 4: advice from her. Maybe I will see if she can

821
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:53,239
Speaker 4: drive down to visit me. And I can invite my

822
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:55,319
Speaker 4: best friend and talk with both of them, cry it

823
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 4: out and try to work out what I need to do.

824
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 4: I really thought people would be divided on this situation

825
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 4: because of the financial aspect and that it's his boundary.

826
00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,280
Speaker 4: It's not a boundary, girl, It's not a boundary.

827
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,759
Speaker 3: This is Yes, my boundary is that you have to

828
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:12,120
Speaker 3: give me one thousand dollars every day. Yeah, and that's

829
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:12,840
Speaker 3: my boundary.

830
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 4: Like, that's not a boundary, it's literally a demand.

831
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 3: My boundary is you must do fifteen cart wheels every

832
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:22,320
Speaker 3: morning when you wake up, or my day will be ruined.

833
00:40:22,719 --> 00:40:25,240
Speaker 3: It's just the way I am. I need a partner

834
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:26,319
Speaker 3: who caught wheels.

835
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:29,880
Speaker 4: This is really throwing me for a loop. Thank you.

836
00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,040
Speaker 4: Oh and one more thing. If I do leave him,

837
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,359
Speaker 4: I will lose my job. They love him. He is

838
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 4: the only male vet tech and they love his work.

839
00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 3: Well, that's fun because if they fire you because of that,

840
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:46,720
Speaker 3: I don't know that seems like maybe a legal proper firing.

841
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,120
Speaker 4: Yep, then you can soup.

842
00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,320
Speaker 3: But you should probably look for a new job anyway,

843
00:40:50,320 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 3: because I wouldn't want to work at the same place

844
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:53,839
Speaker 3: as my ex regardless.

845
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:58,640
Speaker 4: I wouldn't either. So yeah, Opie, I think you know

846
00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 4: what to do, and I I hope that you end

847
00:41:01,080 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 4: up doing the right thing, because it seems like this

848
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 4: is very toxic and it's true. Listen to the commenters,

849
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 4: it's just gonna get worse.

850
00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:10,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not.

851
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 4: Gonna get better. There's no no way it's going to

852
00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 4: get better if he does this. No, it's not. That

853
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:18,560
Speaker 4: is the end of that story.

854
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,839
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Keelan, your residential nerd. We're going to get

855
00:41:21,880 --> 00:41:23,840
Speaker 2: back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads

856
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 2: from our sponsors. My wife told me that my sister

857
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 2: took her grandmother's ring. But I trust my sister.

858
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:31,840
Speaker 5: You don't trust your wife.

859
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 2: I thirty male, have a beautiful wife who loves to

860
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:36,640
Speaker 2: serve others. We bought a home down the street from

861
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:39,520
Speaker 2: my family. I have a sweet sister seventeen female who

862
00:41:39,560 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 2: likes to crash at our house with her friends. By

863
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:44,200
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from user sock No. Seven three

864
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,560
Speaker 2: nineteen And if you want to submit your own stories,

865
00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime suppurate it. I'm Keon,

866
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,200
Speaker 2: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. Goofily.

867
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 2: We don't have all the answers. We only know what

868
00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 2: we do, so let us know what you do in

869
00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:58,839
Speaker 2: the comments. As Opie says, my wife normally is pretty

870
00:41:58,840 --> 00:42:02,680
Speaker 2: easy going until recently, my sister's friends have been leaving messes,

871
00:42:02,920 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 2: mostly towels on the floor after using our pool. My

872
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 2: wife got upset picking up after them every day. I

873
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 2: have asked my sister to make sure the house is

874
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 2: clean after they leave it, and it has been better.

875
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 2: My wife also complained that some of her My wife

876
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,840
Speaker 2: also complained that some of her perfumes, slash clothes, or

877
00:42:20,880 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 2: personal items have gone missing. My sister said it's not her.

878
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 2: I believe my sister. I just don't see her doing that.

879
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,239
Speaker 2: I told my wife and we agreed to just replace them.

880
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:34,440
Speaker 2: Last week, my wife made a couple of pans of

881
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 2: cinnamon rolls from scratch. One pan was for us. The

882
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,360
Speaker 2: second pan was for a coworker's family who was experiencing

883
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,359
Speaker 2: a tragedy. My wife went to the gym, I went

884
00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,359
Speaker 2: to work, and my sister and her friends came by.

885
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,880
Speaker 2: The one pan wasn't enough for her and her friends,

886
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 2: so guess what they did. They wanted the second pan

887
00:42:50,320 --> 00:42:52,800
Speaker 2: of cinnamon rolls, and my sister texted my wife asking

888
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:57,600
Speaker 2: if she could eat them. My wife said no, they

889
00:42:57,760 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 2: ate them anyway. My wife, upset, went and bought new locks.

890
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:03,839
Speaker 2: When I came home, my wife handed me a new

891
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,040
Speaker 2: key and told me that she didn't want anyone else

892
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:07,920
Speaker 2: to have a key to our house. I tried to

893
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 2: calm her down and tell her that I would just

894
00:43:09,560 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 2: go replace the eaten cinnamon rolls with store bought ones.

895
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:15,440
Speaker 2: My wife decided this was a hill for her to

896
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 2: pass away on and said, no, my sister lost a

897
00:43:18,880 --> 00:43:22,120
Speaker 2: privilege to come when we are not home. Replacing stolen

898
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 2: items wasn't good enough anymore.

899
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, why aren't we like trusting wife that things are

900
00:43:27,920 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 1: going missing? Are you not seeing the things go missing?

901
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:33,000
Speaker 2: Yeah? If it was just like hmm, I don't know.

902
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 1: And this is like obviously like overstepping boundaries now when

903
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 1: she clearly said.

904
00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 2: No one percent. You have a group of teenagers that

905
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,440
Speaker 2: you literally give them the luxury of having their own house,

906
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 2: and sure we can't. You know, everyone's proven guilty or

907
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:54,720
Speaker 2: proven innocent until guilty, and they may be caught red handed,

908
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:58,640
Speaker 2: but they ate the Simon rolls. My guy, those were

909
00:43:58,680 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: clearly for somebody that you're your wife made for somebody else,

910
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:05,280
Speaker 2: not for them, And she clearly said, no, your sister

911
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:07,560
Speaker 2: has overstcept her boundaries. My mom called and asked if

912
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 2: my sister could use the pool as a back to

913
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 2: school party. I was under the impression my mom would

914
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 2: be there. I said yes. My mom was at work

915
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:18,360
Speaker 2: and our schedules clashed. The easy solution was for me

916
00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,759
Speaker 2: to change the locks back so they can come into

917
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:23,439
Speaker 2: the house. My mom didn't come with my sister. When

918
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 2: my wife got home after the party, it was a

919
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 2: mess shock. She sent me photos. She called me an

920
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:32,799
Speaker 2: a hole for changing the locks without talking to her

921
00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:36,080
Speaker 2: about it. Yeah, because you are keep in mind she

922
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:39,120
Speaker 2: did this to me too, then told me I broke

923
00:44:39,160 --> 00:44:41,920
Speaker 2: her trust. She wasn't safe in her home because she

924
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: keeps getting robbed, and I refuse to put an end

925
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 2: to it. I did talk to my sister. Then my

926
00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:49,839
Speaker 2: wife let me know she was staying with a friend

927
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,400
Speaker 2: for a while. Am I the ale hole here? I

928
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:54,520
Speaker 2: feel like I have tried to write any wrongs that

929
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 2: have happened between my wife and my sister, and we

930
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:57,399
Speaker 2: have an.

931
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 4: Update now, Hell have yeah trued?

932
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 2: How have you how yeah, funny how you say yes

933
00:45:04,440 --> 00:45:08,200
Speaker 2: to your sister's wishes, but when your wife does one thing,

934
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 2: especially like privacy and safety and concerns for her own

935
00:45:12,600 --> 00:45:16,399
Speaker 2: well being and home, you say no. Oh. I talked

936
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 2: to my sister, Hey, did you steal my wife's things?

937
00:45:20,719 --> 00:45:26,000
Speaker 2: No problems solved everyone? She said no, she didn't lie.

938
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 1: The thing's still missing, no one can find it.

939
00:45:29,760 --> 00:45:31,120
Speaker 4: But nah.

940
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 2: Also, did you clean that mess or you usuald be like, oh,

941
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:35,319
Speaker 2: my sister said you will clean it next week, so

942
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 2: we realized yeah. No, it's like we're we're what are

943
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 2: we doing? Op?

944
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:44,200
Speaker 1: Right? Did we clean like change the locks back after

945
00:45:44,239 --> 00:45:47,120
Speaker 1: the mess because we finally realized? Or are we still

946
00:45:48,560 --> 00:45:49,959
Speaker 1: not on our wife's side?

947
00:45:50,560 --> 00:45:53,880
Speaker 2: I think you are the a whole op and I

948
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:57,640
Speaker 2: can see why your your wife is extremely upset at you.

949
00:45:57,680 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 2: But we have an update. I have been busy. I

950
00:46:00,480 --> 00:46:02,279
Speaker 2: talked to my mom again and I let her know

951
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:05,960
Speaker 2: my sister isn't allowed over without me home. I asked

952
00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,239
Speaker 2: my friend's wife who is a maid, to come deep

953
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:11,319
Speaker 2: clean our home so if slash when my wife comes home,

954
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 2: it's clean. The last thing is my mom asked me

955
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:16,400
Speaker 2: to help cover my sister's cheer. She's on track for

956
00:46:16,440 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 2: a scholarship. I told my mom I would pay half

957
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:23,720
Speaker 2: if my wife's things were returned. If not, the money

958
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:27,320
Speaker 2: was going to replace the stolen items. Also, my sister

959
00:46:27,360 --> 00:46:30,560
Speaker 2: was invited to homecoming. She wanted me to buy a dress.

960
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 2: I told her no for not following our home rules,

961
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 2: and the money I save for the dress is going

962
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 2: to pay for the maid that she had for the mess.

963
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:39,920
Speaker 2: I did replace the locks again. I'm also planning a

964
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,720
Speaker 2: romantic dinner. I heard a lot about the cinnamon rolls.

965
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:44,839
Speaker 2: Someone on here gave me the idea to make them.

966
00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:48,320
Speaker 2: I am going to make the dessert as well. Update

967
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 2: number two. My sister and my mom left a few

968
00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:54,440
Speaker 2: minutes ago. My sister had a bag of my wife's things,

969
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:56,280
Speaker 2: and it was more than I thought was gone.

970
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:58,959
Speaker 5: It's almost like your wife had been telling you.

971
00:46:58,920 --> 00:47:01,880
Speaker 2: This and you didn't believe her or even seemingly try

972
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,400
Speaker 2: to get the stuff back. Yeah, most of the items

973
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:07,160
Speaker 2: are in poor shape. The big thing is she had

974
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:10,520
Speaker 2: my wife's grandmother's ring. I thought this was in our

975
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:14,720
Speaker 2: safe I had no idea it was gone. My sister

976
00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:16,600
Speaker 2: said that she found it on my wife's nice stand

977
00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,319
Speaker 2: during the party. She forgot she had it on when

978
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 2: she left our home.

979
00:47:20,360 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 4: What about the rest of the bag of stuff?

980
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:23,759
Speaker 5: You wear that out too.

981
00:47:24,120 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 2: The ring isn't valuable, it's just sentimental. I told my

982
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:31,239
Speaker 2: mom who the ring belonged to, and my mom lost it.

983
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,760
Speaker 2: My sister is now grounded and this is the last.

984
00:47:34,600 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 5: Name out grounded. What about when she let the mess?

985
00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:41,839
Speaker 2: I think we're your sister is definitely just where's the discipline?

986
00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:43,719
Speaker 2: I don't think no. She can never take no for

987
00:47:43,760 --> 00:47:46,279
Speaker 2: an answer. This is the last update for tonight. My

988
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 2: wife is coming home. I am staying at a friend's

989
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:51,360
Speaker 2: house until we can work some of this out. I

990
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 2: already stated it, but I did put the locks back

991
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:56,919
Speaker 2: on that my wife bought. My family doesn't have a key.

992
00:47:57,080 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 2: Here's another little update. My mom called my wife laplast

993
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:02,160
Speaker 2: night and asked what my sister can do to fix

994
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 2: and or replace the damage items. My wife said, have

995
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:09,360
Speaker 2: her meet me every morning at five am. I decided

996
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:11,200
Speaker 2: to tag along and see what my wife had planned,

997
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 2: trying to support her in whatever punishment she decides to do,

998
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 2: you know, like the Cinnamon rules. My wife's coworker's four

999
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,359
Speaker 2: year old is in the final stages of care. My

1000
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:24,880
Speaker 2: wife's plan is for my sister and her to prepare breakfast,

1001
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:27,439
Speaker 2: get their other kids up and ready for the day,

1002
00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 2: start laundry, basic clean up so her coworker and his

1003
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,160
Speaker 2: wife can spend as much time as they can with

1004
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:36,560
Speaker 2: their sick child before work. My sister was silent the

1005
00:48:36,560 --> 00:48:39,239
Speaker 2: whole time coming back home. I can tell it really

1006
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:42,040
Speaker 2: hit her and that life isn't really hard for her,

1007
00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 2: even being grounded. So we learned a valuable lesson here.

1008
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:50,160
Speaker 2: I think you and your sister learned a valuable lesson here. Congrats.

1009
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:52,480
Speaker 2: I mean you should have listened to your wife in

1010
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 2: the first place, buddy.

1011
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,919
Speaker 1: Crazy to just automatically believe the seventeen year old over

1012
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 1: your wife when her things go missing.

1013
00:48:59,120 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, come on, op, Why are we so gullible?

1014
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:07,799
Speaker 2: But it looks like things are working. And this is

1015
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:11,400
Speaker 2: also a huge lesson for your sister to finally just

1016
00:49:11,560 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 2: realize she's been pampered and she gets what she wants

1017
00:49:15,719 --> 00:49:18,720
Speaker 2: every time, and she needs to learn. And I'm happy

1018
00:49:18,760 --> 00:49:21,200
Speaker 2: that she's getting disciplined in the right way. But there's

1019
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 2: a little bit left. My wife has given me a

1020
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:25,240
Speaker 2: second chance as long as I follow her list of rules,

1021
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:28,160
Speaker 2: and we have a list right here. Rule number one

1022
00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:31,000
Speaker 2: for a while, no family at our home. Number two,

1023
00:49:31,360 --> 00:49:35,200
Speaker 2: no family barring our things. Number three, no one is

1024
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:38,560
Speaker 2: allowed a key. Number four. I help with the chores

1025
00:49:38,600 --> 00:49:43,479
Speaker 2: around the house, including cooking meals. Number five last, which

1026
00:49:43,480 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 2: is the last rule. My wife is okay with me

1027
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,560
Speaker 2: seeing my sister, but asked that we all go to

1028
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 2: counseling to understand why my sister is targeting her. My

1029
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:53,400
Speaker 2: wife said, all of this has been really hard and

1030
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 2: she doesn't want to cause more issues, but she just

1031
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:59,640
Speaker 2: doesn't trust my sister and can't have her using our things.

1032
00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 2: That is even story.

1033
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,600
Speaker 5: Hey it's Carly, your favorite jersey girl.

1034
00:50:04,640 --> 00:50:04,839
Speaker 4: Here.

1035
00:50:05,040 --> 00:50:06,640
Speaker 5: We're going to get back to the stories.

1036
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:07,600
Speaker 4: But here's three.

1037
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 1: Minutes of ads from our sponsors. My sister in law

1038
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 1: wanted to borrow my wedding necklace. I kept saying no.

1039
00:50:15,600 --> 00:50:16,800
Speaker 2: No is an answer.

1040
00:50:17,000 --> 00:50:17,800
Speaker 5: Some background.

1041
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 1: First, I thirty seven female, have been married to my husband, Hugh,

1042
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:25,359
Speaker 1: thirty six male, for nearly two years now. We live

1043
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,960
Speaker 1: in Canada. He's Canadian and I moved here three years ago.

1044
00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:32,200
Speaker 1: Prior to that, I was born and brought up in India.

1045
00:50:32,920 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 1: Neither of us are very religious or traditional and I'm

1046
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,720
Speaker 1: openly deist. By the way, this comes from Throwaway Man

1047
00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:43,520
Speaker 1: Gallas Sutra. And if you want to submit your own stories,

1048
00:50:43,520 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay storytime Supreddit.

1049
00:50:45,480 --> 00:50:47,000
Speaker 2: I'm Carly, I'm Keon.

1050
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofully, But we

1051
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:51,239
Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we

1052
00:50:51,280 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 1: would do. Let us know what you would do in

1053
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 1: the comments, and Opie says, both our families are somewhat religious,

1054
00:50:57,080 --> 00:51:01,000
Speaker 1: but not very devout. They had a few reservations about us,

1055
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:04,080
Speaker 1: but so far it's all been great for our wedding.

1056
00:51:04,239 --> 00:51:07,600
Speaker 1: We had small wedding ceremonies in both cultures and a

1057
00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:12,400
Speaker 1: party afterwards, and my husband's family quite enjoyed participating in

1058
00:51:12,440 --> 00:51:15,200
Speaker 1: all the pre wedding functions for the Indian part.

1059
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:18,160
Speaker 2: I also looked up deist just for those who want

1060
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 2: to know or need to know. A deist is a

1061
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:23,320
Speaker 2: person who believes in the existence of a creator God

1062
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:27,000
Speaker 2: based on reason, logic, and nature, rather than divine revelation,

1063
00:51:27,160 --> 00:51:30,880
Speaker 2: holy books, or miracles. It kind of seems like another

1064
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 2: term for agnostic, but definitely not the same thing. Okay,

1065
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:36,480
Speaker 2: that's all it yeah, cool.

1066
00:51:36,360 --> 00:51:39,279
Speaker 1: And my husband's family quite enjoyed participating in all the

1067
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 1: pre wedding functions for the Indian part. Onto the problem.

1068
00:51:43,080 --> 00:51:45,719
Speaker 1: As part of the Indian wedding, my husband had to

1069
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:49,719
Speaker 1: place a mangal sutra around my neck.

1070
00:51:49,920 --> 00:51:51,719
Speaker 5: A mango sutra is a.

1071
00:51:51,640 --> 00:51:54,640
Speaker 1: Gold necklace with black beads, and in our culture it's

1072
00:51:54,640 --> 00:51:57,360
Speaker 1: equivalent to a wedding ring, but only for the women.

1073
00:51:58,120 --> 00:52:01,240
Speaker 1: I don't like them because they're sexist and because they're chunky,

1074
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 1: ugly and don't go with anything. I told my mother

1075
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:06,400
Speaker 1: not to get me this and not to include it

1076
00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:10,400
Speaker 1: in the ceremony because it's an expensive waste. I won't

1077
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:12,720
Speaker 1: wear it, and it's like a white elephant. I can't

1078
00:52:12,760 --> 00:52:15,000
Speaker 1: give it away or sell it. I have to keep it.

1079
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 1: My mother, being the smart cookie that she is, worked

1080
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 1: with my cousin to have one with a modern design

1081
00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:24,920
Speaker 1: custom made for me. It's stylish, minimalist, and goes with

1082
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:28,279
Speaker 1: almost everything, and I love it. I still don't wear

1083
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:31,400
Speaker 1: it all the time, but quite frequently. As a contrast,

1084
00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:33,840
Speaker 1: I wear my wedding ring all the time because my

1085
00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:36,800
Speaker 1: husband wears one too, and because I like wearing rings.

1086
00:52:37,480 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 1: The problem I'm having is with Hugh's sister, Ellie. Ellie

1087
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 1: and I get along quite well, and I'm quite keen

1088
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 1: on fostering a good relationship with my in laws because

1089
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 1: all my family is back in India. Ellie loved the

1090
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,839
Speaker 1: design of my Mongol Sutra and wanted to borrow it.

1091
00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:54,520
Speaker 3: Now.

1092
00:52:54,600 --> 00:52:57,200
Speaker 1: I'm not religious at all, but no one can shed

1093
00:52:57,239 --> 00:53:00,280
Speaker 1: the influence of their culture completely, and it's the same

1094
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 1: for me. For met, the Mongol Sutra is a symbol

1095
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:06,600
Speaker 1: of my matrimony and not something that can just be

1096
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:11,040
Speaker 1: lent out, especially not to my husband's sister. I've offered

1097
00:53:11,080 --> 00:53:13,399
Speaker 1: to have something similar made for her, but she says

1098
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,400
Speaker 1: she doesn't want us to go through the trouble or

1099
00:53:15,440 --> 00:53:17,520
Speaker 1: the expense for something she only wants.

1100
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:18,360
Speaker 5: To wear once or twice.

1101
00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:21,680
Speaker 2: Then I'm sorry, you're still not going to be able

1102
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:22,120
Speaker 2: to wear this.

1103
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,440
Speaker 1: Why I think i'm the a hole is that I

1104
00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:28,120
Speaker 1: can see her point. I am a logical person, and

1105
00:53:28,200 --> 00:53:31,120
Speaker 1: logically I have no reason to refuse, and I can't

1106
00:53:31,160 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 1: just pick and choose the things I want to be

1107
00:53:33,000 --> 00:53:37,040
Speaker 1: logical about. But emotionally, for me, the necklace is like underwear.

1108
00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:38,920
Speaker 1: You may or may not wear it, but you don't

1109
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 1: share it for that reason, I'd have the same feelings

1110
00:53:41,520 --> 00:53:44,400
Speaker 1: about it if it were of the traditional design and

1111
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:46,719
Speaker 1: I didn't like it as much as I do. I've

1112
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 1: tried to explain this to her, it's not something we've

1113
00:53:49,000 --> 00:53:52,719
Speaker 1: thought about, and she always accepts her refusal graciously, but

1114
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 1: she doesn't stop asking. It's like she thinks after a

1115
00:53:56,400 --> 00:54:00,080
Speaker 1: reasonable time passes, it'll be okay for her to borrow it.

1116
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,400
Speaker 1: So Reddit, am I the a hole? We have an

1117
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 1: update just a few hours later.

1118
00:54:05,040 --> 00:54:07,799
Speaker 2: No, I don't. I don't. I get I get it.

1119
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:10,799
Speaker 2: If it was like a regular necklace, maybe, but this

1120
00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:13,600
Speaker 2: is something that, especially for you, as you said earlier,

1121
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:16,840
Speaker 2: is kind of like a wedding ring in your traditions

1122
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 2: and culture.

1123
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 5: Right, it's a cultural thing.

1124
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like in American weddings, and I'm sure some

1125
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:24,920
Speaker 1: other countries too, Like often there's like a something borrowed.

1126
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:27,719
Speaker 1: That's pretty normal for there to be something borrowed, but

1127
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:29,880
Speaker 1: like in this one, it's like, this is pretty normal

1128
00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:32,520
Speaker 1: in an Indian wedding that you get this necklace and

1129
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 1: that is like your wedding ring necklace and that would

1130
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:35,680
Speaker 1: not be shared.

1131
00:54:35,880 --> 00:54:38,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's it's the same if you need to

1132
00:54:38,239 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 2: tell her like, Hey, if it was like my wedding

1133
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:42,799
Speaker 2: ring and you thought it was very pretty, I can

1134
00:54:42,840 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 2: show it to you, but I'm not gonna let you

1135
00:54:44,560 --> 00:54:47,560
Speaker 2: borrow it or let you wear it out in about

1136
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:48,560
Speaker 2: So I also think the.

1137
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:52,000
Speaker 1: Like offer to get her one of her own was

1138
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 1: like a perfect compromise of like, we can literally design

1139
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:57,560
Speaker 1: you something just like mine, you just can't.

1140
00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 2: Wear mine, if anything. Honestly it even though she's like

1141
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:02,479
Speaker 2: I want to wear it once or twice, she's gonna

1142
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:04,319
Speaker 2: see it and every time she sees it's like, ah,

1143
00:55:04,360 --> 00:55:06,320
Speaker 2: I want to wear it. Could I borrow it?

1144
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:06,719
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1145
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:08,959
Speaker 2: Just at this point, get her one like.

1146
00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:09,759
Speaker 5: You said the same thing.

1147
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: You were like, I'm only gonna wear my thing leg

1148
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:13,279
Speaker 1: once or twice, but then your mom got you one

1149
00:55:13,280 --> 00:55:14,959
Speaker 1: that you really liked and now you wear it good amount.

1150
00:55:15,120 --> 00:55:18,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's it. She should be able to take no

1151
00:55:18,960 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 2: as an answer but guessing yes, I agree, stop asking.

1152
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:24,800
Speaker 2: But also, let's just get you one. I know you

1153
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:26,120
Speaker 2: say you want to you want it once or twice,

1154
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:27,719
Speaker 2: or want to wear it once or twice. Let's just

1155
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:28,279
Speaker 2: get you one.

1156
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 1: A few hours after the post went up, I got

1157
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 1: a call from my other sister in law Chloe. She

1158
00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 1: came across my post and guessed it was me because

1159
00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 1: I gave away too many details. I guess and just

1160
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:42,759
Speaker 1: called me to ask straight out, and several details I.

1161
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:44,200
Speaker 5: Didn't know came to light.

1162
00:55:44,920 --> 00:55:45,759
Speaker 4: Okay, here we go.

1163
00:55:46,080 --> 00:55:49,799
Speaker 1: One during the wedding planning stages, I had complained to

1164
00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 1: Ellie and Chloe about not liking mango sutras and not

1165
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:56,440
Speaker 1: wanting one for myself, and then I didn't know how

1166
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 1: to explain that to my mom. They didn't understand that

1167
00:56:00,120 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 1: even though I didn't like them as a concept, if

1168
00:56:02,840 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 1: I had one, it would still be culturally important to me.

1169
00:56:06,760 --> 00:56:07,040
Speaker 4: Two.

1170
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:10,280
Speaker 1: I was laughing when I made the wedding ring analogy.

1171
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:11,720
Speaker 1: They thought I was joking.

1172
00:56:12,600 --> 00:56:13,480
Speaker 4: Three.

1173
00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:15,880
Speaker 1: All three of us have borrowed and len items to

1174
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 1: one another before, so really asking for something a second, third,

1175
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:22,279
Speaker 1: or however many times had never been an issue that,

1176
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:25,960
Speaker 1: combined with what they knew about my personal beliefs, genuinely

1177
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 1: made them think that I would be okay with lending

1178
00:56:28,200 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 1: it out after an appropriate amount of time had passed,

1179
00:56:31,440 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 1: which is why Ellie kept asking. Chloe realized the problem

1180
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 1: after reading both the posts and mine and everyone's comments

1181
00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,520
Speaker 1: Another commenter mentioned to me privately in DMS that Ellie

1182
00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:46,360
Speaker 1: actually probably really wanted one for her own, but was

1183
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:48,719
Speaker 1: too polite to accept when I offered to have one

1184
00:56:48,719 --> 00:56:52,200
Speaker 1: made for her. This turned out to be true. Chloe

1185
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:55,160
Speaker 1: told me Ellie really loved the design of the necklace,

1186
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:57,320
Speaker 1: but was too shy to say yes when I offered

1187
00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:58,080
Speaker 1: to get her one.

1188
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:01,640
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, now, just a little communication goes a

1189
00:57:01,680 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 2: long way.

1190
00:57:02,280 --> 00:57:04,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was wondering if that was gonna be the

1191
00:57:04,440 --> 00:57:06,520
Speaker 1: case that she just didn't want to be like, oh.

1192
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:07,440
Speaker 5: Yeah, like I'd love that.

1193
00:57:07,800 --> 00:57:09,520
Speaker 1: No. Yeah, it's like but the way that she kept

1194
00:57:09,560 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 1: asking made me think that maybe it wasn't.

1195
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm one hundred percent. I think it's the

1196
00:57:13,640 --> 00:57:16,720
Speaker 2: thing of like if yes once or twice, gotcha, But

1197
00:57:16,760 --> 00:57:19,600
Speaker 2: it seems like she's asked, oh a handful of times

1198
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 2: at least just yeah. I was very weary that you

1199
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:25,800
Speaker 2: were like, do you want to get one? And she's like, no,

1200
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 2: I don't want to be a burden, but like she's.

1201
00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:29,640
Speaker 1: Being polite, I know, but like but like and then

1202
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:30,120
Speaker 1: being like.

1203
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:32,000
Speaker 2: Like I wear it, but like could I borrow it?

1204
00:57:32,120 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 2: Like could I have? Could I just have it?

1205
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 5: She didn't ask that.

1206
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:39,120
Speaker 2: I know, I think you make our sound that bad. No, no,

1207
00:57:39,360 --> 00:57:41,439
Speaker 2: but it's like it could have gone to that point,

1208
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:43,480
Speaker 2: but thankfully it didn't, So.

1209
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:45,400
Speaker 5: I don't think it was going to that point.

1210
00:57:45,440 --> 00:57:45,800
Speaker 2: It could have.

1211
00:57:46,000 --> 00:57:47,360
Speaker 5: Why do you try and make her so mean?

1212
00:57:47,560 --> 00:57:48,640
Speaker 2: I'm not, I am not.

1213
00:57:48,920 --> 00:57:50,560
Speaker 1: I don't think she was ever gonna ask for it

1214
00:57:50,600 --> 00:57:52,440
Speaker 1: flat out like give me yours.

1215
00:57:52,720 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 2: No, no, no, she's being very polite about it. I

1216
00:57:54,760 --> 00:57:56,720
Speaker 2: think I, like I said, just get her one, which

1217
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:58,760
Speaker 2: is gonna it seems like it's gonna happen anyway.

1218
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:01,440
Speaker 1: So we have made al it's too late to get

1219
00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 1: it for her for Christmas, but she has a landmark

1220
00:58:03,840 --> 00:58:06,520
Speaker 1: birthday coming up. We've reached out to the person who

1221
00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:08,840
Speaker 1: made mine and are getting one custom made for her.

1222
00:58:09,400 --> 00:58:11,800
Speaker 1: We'll change the design a bit to make it look

1223
00:58:12,160 --> 00:58:15,880
Speaker 1: like not a Manglo sutra and incorporate some elements that

1224
00:58:15,960 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 1: she likes and gifted to her for her birthday. Thank

1225
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 1: you so much to everyone who commented for your advice,

1226
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:25,040
Speaker 1: kind words, and support, and I'm happy to report a

1227
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:28,280
Speaker 1: very happy ending, amazing, wonderful good job.

1228
00:58:28,880 --> 00:58:30,200
Speaker 3: And that's the end of this story.