Speaker 1: My name is Craig Ferguson. The name of this podcast
Speaker 1: is joy. I talked to interest in people about what
Speaker 1: brings them happiness. Joel McHale is about as tall as
Speaker 1: a person should be, and he's funny and he's my
Speaker 1: friend here he is.
Speaker 2: What were you doing when you were eighteen?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Man, that's made me feel very nervous. Let's see eighteen,
Speaker 1: I was in a what were you doing? You You
Speaker 1: were sporty, so that was very sporty. That saved you
Speaker 1: probably from the world of drugs.
Speaker 4: So we yeah, my brothers and I had already totaled
Speaker 4: five cars and my dad was like, I'm going to
Speaker 4: have a tick and he was like, I'm having a
Speaker 4: tremor because of you guys.
Speaker 1: That make me so nervous.
Speaker 2: How come you total cars? I mean were you driving them?
Speaker 1: Stealing them? No?
Speaker 4: No, we just weren't great at It took us a while.
Speaker 4: You know, it's like learn It is like learning a sport.
Speaker 4: We just were very lucky we didn't get hurt. But
Speaker 4: I think of you like you're.
Speaker 1: Kind of all American though, So when you were crashing
Speaker 1: those cars, you were crashing them in a wholesome, reasonably wholesome.
Speaker 2: Oh very much. Yeah, I crashed them into like a Walmart. Yeah, and.
Speaker 1: Yeah I was very charitable and you were and you
Speaker 1: were sober when you were crashing those cars. Yeah, oh yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: Though you know, there was people in my high school
Speaker 1: who weren't so yeah, I was. I really enjoyed my
Speaker 1: teenage years.
Speaker 4: Did you really like I loved play like I was
Speaker 4: terrible at school, but I loved playing sports and I
Speaker 4: loved it.
Speaker 1: Was like you were like a proper like football player,
Speaker 1: like a tight end.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 4: Well, I played one year in high school and then
Speaker 4: I joined the team when I was a freshman in
Speaker 4: college out of sort of a whim but as far
Speaker 4: as like so, I had played a few years.
Speaker 1: But I played baseball and basketball. And see that's very
Speaker 1: impressive and wholesome and good. That's why you're in such
Speaker 1: great shape now because you got into it when you
Speaker 1: were young. Oh no, this is desperation.
Speaker 4: Some of my friends who are way better athletes now,
Speaker 4: they look like, you know, oh, like a swollen alien
Speaker 4: that happens to you, Like guys, wait, like a blob. Now,
Speaker 4: they're just like a blob with multiple you know, like the.
Speaker 1: Thing do you know that, But that could be great
Speaker 1: shape for the thing I mean that species.
Speaker 2: Oh you're right, you know, I mean you're you're applying.
Speaker 4: It could have been a very lean, lean thing that
Speaker 4: just devoured human being. It was only devouring protein. It
Speaker 4: wasn't there wasn't any carbohydrates.
Speaker 2: It was on that diet.
Speaker 1: Was that diet again? The protein the keto diet Keto
Speaker 1: with the Zatkins, Well you think is with those dice
Speaker 1: because I've tried them all, the keto one in particular.
Speaker 1: I think you pooped like once every couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: It's does notice not enough for me?
Speaker 4: Well I say it and date it and David and
Speaker 4: David analyzed no uh souf door Dodley.
Speaker 2: Used to do.
Speaker 1: He used to like in his diary every mom and
Speaker 1: he would start talking about what his poop was, Like.
Speaker 4: What are you like the guy that one of the
Speaker 4: greatest painters ever?
Speaker 1: Well, you feel like he was pretty he was okay, okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: he was a great draftsman, but something of a of
Speaker 1: a shulman. I think you think the the melting clocks
Speaker 1: were just a bit muck or the tiger bursting out
Speaker 1: of the cow. You know, you know what I like,
Speaker 1: I like a sort of blue huge Senorita on velvet.
Speaker 1: Now you go at something Elvis, maybe on velvet velvet Elvis,
Speaker 1: who was the artist?
Speaker 2: I think I was?
Speaker 1: I think so yeah, I think that's the one that
Speaker 1: that made him get drunk afterwards. You like, what have
Speaker 1: I done with the Italian of French? I can remember
Speaker 1: that sounded like neither, what have I done?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 2: I must give Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: Now I would just think.
Speaker 2: Of you, are you an artificial?
Speaker 1: How are you like?
Speaker 4: Seriously, I'm good at faking it. Sarah, isn't That's what
Speaker 4: it's going to say. Sarah's really smart with the arts.
Speaker 4: She knows all that stuff. I took one class in
Speaker 4: college the history of Renaissance art was kind of a
Speaker 4: you know, a survey, and that really set me up
Speaker 4: grade for parties.
Speaker 1: So you could say, the girl, that's how you go, Sarah,
Speaker 1: isn't it? You were like, yeah, do you like felsquiz? Yeah?
Speaker 4: It was like, you know Giado's chapel, Oh nice in Padua.
Speaker 1: And then you could see you were born in Italy
Speaker 1: because I was forget I mean, you were born in Italy,
Speaker 1: so you can do the whole what's the coming ago.
Speaker 2: I don't understand your language.
Speaker 4: A lot of this you can't see it on the microphone,
Speaker 4: but I'm just taking the tips of my fingers and
Speaker 4: doing that.
Speaker 1: Do a lot of this. You know what that is.
Speaker 1: That's the upside down. Emuse Right there, that's what you do,
Speaker 1: the upside down.
Speaker 2: Emuse. Wait where were you born New Zealand? Were you really?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 4: I was born in Calland like, but but it is
Speaker 4: people bring up the time, like, oh, you're born like
Speaker 4: like I had anything to really do with it other
Speaker 4: than a pyrrhic Well yeah, but I mean with HBU
Speaker 4: when you left Italy thirty one, Well, so you're gonna
Speaker 4: go like you know two, but can you speak Italian?
Speaker 1: No? I did lose my passport there.
Speaker 4: It got stolen and I walked into the American consulate
Speaker 4: and they were they kept coming back, and because they
Speaker 4: saw that I was born in Italy, they were like,
Speaker 4: they were so confused. I'm like, I lost my passport.
Speaker 4: Do you have any bubble gum? I don't know what's
Speaker 4: going on. I can't buy any peanut butter. And they
Speaker 4: were like, you're not an Italian. I'm like, well not
Speaker 4: kind of what's.
Speaker 2: The coming to go. I kind of find that's bad,
Speaker 2: isn't it? No, it's good.
Speaker 1: You know what do you know what happens in Glasgow.
Speaker 1: There's a big Italian community in Glasgow and the Italians
Speaker 1: that like, especially like second generation. They speak Glasgow accents,
Speaker 1: but but they have Italian Glasgow accents. So it's amazing
Speaker 1: sentence that hey, how you used to do? And then
Speaker 1: you come at to my show up and maybe we
Speaker 1: come over to you. You like it the feshion chips,
Speaker 1: it's very very strange. I love it that that needs
Speaker 1: to be a show. Well, Italian Glass region. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: it's a great thing. That's got to be a show.
Speaker 1: And I'm guessing the food game got up. Oh my god, no,
Speaker 1: buddy country. When the Italians and the Pakistanis and the
Speaker 1: Indians came to Scotland, they improved it by like a
Speaker 1: thousand percent because up until that point all we ate
Speaker 1: was like mud and then custard to Christmas all made
Speaker 1: of potatoes, mud, mud and custard.
Speaker 2: It was mud and del Christmas and then back to
Speaker 2: mud in January.
Speaker 1: But you got Kashta for Christmas Day made of mud, mud, custard.
Speaker 4: Obviously I'm assuming now. I mean obviously with the food revolution,
Speaker 4: now there's like high end Scottish cooking where oh my god, yeah,
Speaker 4: the Hagis has never been better.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean in the higas Is. Actually it's like
Speaker 1: a well you're a foodie guy. I do like food,
Speaker 1: but yet you want to eat one meal of the day. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's a you know, it's a duality that yeah, well
Speaker 1: the young aduality, or maybe it's just a straight up
Speaker 1: eating disorder.
Speaker 2: Oh I hope so do you think so?
Speaker 4: I've just thought it could be just well, uh, you know,
Speaker 4: I try to keep below a certain weight.
Speaker 2: I want to be one hundred and twenty two pounds
Speaker 2: all the time.
Speaker 1: Dude, that's never I have to lose it. I have
Speaker 1: to lose seventy Your arm with one hundred and twenty
Speaker 1: two finds. Look at that arm, that's an amazing During
Speaker 1: the pandemic only one you look like a crab that
Speaker 1: lushed the fight.
Speaker 2: What happened?
Speaker 4: Just just work in one arm. The clog got ripped
Speaker 4: off during the pandemic. I was like, if I don't
Speaker 4: work out every day, I'm gonna.
Speaker 1: Just But you're in great shape. Well, I mean you
Speaker 1: look like you're thirty years old. Thank you for saying that.
Speaker 2: Well, it's also the hair transplants that helped too.
Speaker 4: You've got a hair transplant, and you've got and you
Speaker 4: work out. Yeah, I transplanted all this down here up there.
Speaker 1: I don't believe you, because it would be much curlier
Speaker 1: and finer. You have no idea what it's like down there. Oh,
Speaker 1: live hair. It's not fair.
Speaker 2: This is the hair I always wanted.
Speaker 1: Well my hair.
Speaker 4: You wan my hair man, and you know it was
Speaker 4: great because you have some gray hair, like you went
Speaker 4: gray early and it was hard to tell what your
Speaker 4: age was.
Speaker 1: Not anymore. Well, I disagree you because you have you have. Dude,
Speaker 1: I'm sixty one, yusual. I know, let's be so terrifying.
Speaker 1: It's terrifying. I mean like when I get up in
Speaker 1: the in the morning, like just stand up out of bed,
Speaker 1: like crickety noises, like like all my buons click, and
Speaker 1: your wife is like, uh oh, she's she thinks who
Speaker 1: dropped the matches?
Speaker 2: You get a hip replace maternity while you were sleeping.
Speaker 1: I thought about it, but you're you look great.
Speaker 2: I'm okay, I'm okay.
Speaker 1: I I also eat one meal a day, but then
Speaker 1: what I do is I eat all day.
Speaker 2: It's a day is dark today I am, And I.
Speaker 1: Think I may have an eating disorder a little bit.
Speaker 1: I have an unhald I have an unhealthy pathological relationship
Speaker 1: with food, for sure, because like I'm staying in a
Speaker 1: hotel right now, right, you know the drawer that has
Speaker 1: candy in it? Yeah? Yeah, I went to that drawer
Speaker 1: yesterday and I was like a raccoon. I just like
Speaker 1: ate everything, Like the wrappers roll everywhere and everything.
Speaker 4: It's a mess. And I so I it's if it's
Speaker 4: in front of you, You're gonna eat it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like the dog.
Speaker 1: You know, if you bring groceries home and you leave
Speaker 1: them in the room with me.
Speaker 4: I need them, see, I scream out loud, get behind me,
Speaker 4: Satan when I see that candy. And sure people in
Speaker 4: the other rooms complain because they think Satan's and you're right,
Speaker 4: but it's good for me to just declare it and
Speaker 4: then and then I usually flush it all down the
Speaker 4: toilet with the cocaine.
Speaker 2: I did that. I didn't, no way, Yeah, I tried that.
Speaker 1: I was on tour and there was like they give
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes you go to play a casino or something,
Speaker 1: they say, oh, enjoy the chocolate basket, you know of
Speaker 1: So there was a basket of chocolate in my room
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't know what to do
Speaker 1: because it was the middle of the night. So I
Speaker 1: dipped to end the toilet so I wouldn't eat it.
Speaker 1: And then you ate it. Then that's like you know me,
Speaker 1: but you burn You still didn't stand up and stuff
Speaker 1: like that around you ever do it?
Speaker 4: Though I do, it's been harder. I take gigs like
Speaker 4: casino gigs. I'm like, I can get there, do it. Yeah,
Speaker 4: but I haven't had as much time to work on stuff,
Speaker 4: so there's a lot of you know, there's a lot
Speaker 4: of scrambling and writing jokes to where I'm going and
Speaker 4: talking about like that's all right.
Speaker 2: Here we are in Calgary.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so I have one more gig and then yeah, and.
Speaker 2: You're not going to do it anymore?
Speaker 1: Well, no, I want. I love doing it. Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 2: It's you've learned a lot of calories doing it.
Speaker 1: I used to.
Speaker 2: I don't anymore.
Speaker 1: I just stand there now. I'm like Gaffigan, No, I
Speaker 1: just stand there and say things. I'm like, sweary Gaffigan.
Speaker 4: I feel like Affagan's he's beginning to move towards a
Speaker 4: you know, it's getting it's getting edgi.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's get a little edge. Hear.
Speaker 1: Well. You know Jim, when he started out, it was
Speaker 1: pretty edgy, and then he made the stylistic choice to
Speaker 1: stop swearing. I couldn't do that, no, I I tried it,
Speaker 1: and then I'll tell you I did it a little bit.
Speaker 2: I was worre.
Speaker 1: I did a couple of shows with Lano and Arsenio
Speaker 1: Hall during the summer in casinos, and they said, you
Speaker 1: have to do a PG thirteen show, So I did,
Speaker 1: and I kind of liked him. You can't tell fuck
Speaker 1: I'm PG thirteen. No, and I think you get one.
Speaker 1: But Arsenio went on first and he used to hope, So.
Speaker 4: You know, I'm like, oh, well, okay, it's one for
Speaker 4: the night. Want not one per person?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just I didn't want to risk it because you know,
Speaker 1: people get mad at you.
Speaker 4: I think Leno should come out with a special called
Speaker 4: Fucking Shit Up.
Speaker 2: And just blow away. It would be huge.
Speaker 1: He is an amazing stand up I mean still, I
Speaker 1: was like I was watching him because I'd never seen
Speaker 1: him live, and I was watching him, like, damn, I
Speaker 1: get it.
Speaker 2: You know it's differently you ever seen him live? I
Speaker 2: have never seen him.
Speaker 1: It will blow your mind or some it'll blow some hard.
Speaker 1: Something will get blown. I did the car show with him. Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, I did that. Yeah, but it didn't obviously
Speaker 1: it's not the same thing. Well, he wasn't doing stand up,
Speaker 1: but it's much the same. I said to him, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I know my act, and he said,
Speaker 1: just keep talking. They don't know this scrap. Keep talking.
Speaker 2: That's true, So you should do that when you're worried
Speaker 2: about do I have enough material?
Speaker 1: Just keep talking.
Speaker 2: Oh, if it's not funny, they'll just think you're you know, you.
Speaker 1: Know that good. But that's all right.
Speaker 4: Why I tried, though, they'll think he tried. He stood
Speaker 4: up there and talked into the microphone. I did do
Speaker 4: a show in Texas, and they're like, I I didn't
Speaker 4: realize it that they wanted to be a clean show.
Speaker 2: Okay, so did you do it?
Speaker 4: I opened up in prayer right and said, Dear God,
Speaker 4: please help me not to say fuck or shit so much. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and then I put out a squear jar and and
Speaker 4: then so there was like a bud.
Speaker 1: It actually worked, did it? Did they forgive you? They
Speaker 1: did well.
Speaker 4: The weird part is that like there was like four
Speaker 4: big rich like Yellowstone donors, right. Two of them were
Speaker 4: very like conservative as far as talk, and then the
Speaker 4: other two were screaming fuck at me. They were like,
Speaker 4: so fuck, we don't care, all right, and so I
Speaker 4: was like, I don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: It's the duality of man, it's right there. It's the
Speaker 1: young in dilemma. You know, it's just one way or
Speaker 1: another way. It's Mogliani making the veil. But now it is.
Speaker 4: Do you think that if you when you stop swearing,
Speaker 4: do you feel like I'm betraying my country?
Speaker 1: No, I feel like I'm doing better. I feel like
Speaker 1: I'm finally grown up. And then I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: it's difficult you when people say things like the stuff
Speaker 1: that makes me angry it is when people say, well,
Speaker 1: good comedian doesn't have to swear. I'm like, well, so
Speaker 1: then Richard Bryor is not a good comedian. Yeah, anywurth
Speaker 1: is a bad comedity. I mean, that's absurd. It's language,
Speaker 1: and language is glorious. And I you know, when you
Speaker 1: mentioned Scottish people and swear. Nobody swears like Scottish people.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful Scottish and Irish people. It's kind of like
Speaker 1: it flows so well, unbelievably wonderful sweariness. But yeah, I
Speaker 1: suppose I do feel like I'm betraying the country when
Speaker 1: I don't swear, So fuck it, I'm not gonna not.
Speaker 2: Gonna do it anymore.
Speaker 1: Do you do your kids swear?
Speaker 2: I'm afraid they do. Yes, I do mine.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 4: My parents did not like swearing at all. So I felt, Yeah,
Speaker 4: when I got out of the house, you really let fly.
Speaker 4: Well look at this shit. Yeah, And I think it
Speaker 4: was a reaction.
Speaker 1: Did you leave that?
Speaker 2: Did you leave the house early? I mean when you
Speaker 2: when you were young.
Speaker 4: We're like eighteen seventy kind of I went to college
Speaker 4: and moved out. But then were you a dorm guy?
Speaker 4: But you like you know, I was in a fratern
Speaker 4: for one quarter and I did not like it.
Speaker 2: I kind of ma, you're too smart. Oh well, I don't.
Speaker 1: Think there im smart and you're sensitive, you really are.
Speaker 1: You'd lose your fucking mind.
Speaker 2: In that world.
Speaker 4: No, And so I moved back home and because it
Speaker 4: was like I was like, ah, this will be temporary.
Speaker 4: I'll finish out the year. Yeah, and then I just
Speaker 4: never did. I stayed home for college. My mom worked
Speaker 4: at the university I went to, so my mom and
Speaker 4: I drove every morning to college together.
Speaker 2: I must have got so late when you were in college.
Speaker 2: Turn it over your mom. Hey, who's getting out of
Speaker 2: that Toyota Camray? It's right.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing.
Speaker 2: I mean, handicaps. But you'd Sarah met pretty early on.
Speaker 2: I mean you were young.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I got married when I was twenty four, and you're
Speaker 2: still married and still happy. Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 4: I can't believe again, as I said, someone agree to
Speaker 4: have sex with me.
Speaker 2: Well, you know, she's an odd woman.
Speaker 1: You know, she's a fascinating person that she's got unusual taste,
Speaker 1: and that's great.
Speaker 4: It works, you know what I talk about charity and.
Speaker 1: And she's artistic. She makes an unusual shape and a
Speaker 1: juxtaposition of forms and stuff.
Speaker 2: How do you know so much about what I look
Speaker 2: like down there?
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's what you look like down
Speaker 1: there to guess based on what you've told me, and
Speaker 1: also you you removed all your hair from there? Nothing?
Speaker 4: Do you know what hand skins? I'm in so much pain.
Speaker 4: Oh no, that's that's bad. Is this what you end
Speaker 4: up talking to Leno about?
Speaker 1: We talked about cars. I think a little bit.
Speaker 2: I really hope everything die from what he's doing. He's okay,
Speaker 2: he's all right.
Speaker 4: He tried, he's I was like, oh, this is I
Speaker 4: hope this, this is becoming a pattern.
Speaker 1: Now. Well, he showed me, he said, do you know
Speaker 1: I see the photographs of the operation. I'm like, uh no,
Speaker 1: but yeah, so on his phone he has photographs. So
Speaker 1: while they're fixing his face after the burns and the
Speaker 1: surgical procedure, I was like, who's taking the photographs? Jamon
Speaker 1: Hey said, Darctor, He's taking the photograph that I did. Yeah,
Speaker 1: take these photographs and they he's it was his face
Speaker 1: with all that.
Speaker 2: I mean, it's crazy.
Speaker 4: It's like and then how many months later did he
Speaker 4: wipe out on the motorcycle?
Speaker 2: It was It wasn't It was like two months. It
Speaker 2: was like, but you're a car guy, I am, but
Speaker 2: I don't. Are you motorcycles too?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: No, me neither.
Speaker 4: I'm done with that. You I that for that is
Speaker 4: a young man's game. That is a game to play
Speaker 4: when you don't have kids.
Speaker 2: You know, I had an accident when I was forty.
Speaker 2: Do you ever have an accident on a motor bike?
Speaker 4: No, I've had bike accidents, but I can't imagine what
Speaker 4: it would be like going triple to speed.
Speaker 1: It's unbelievable. Man, I being hit by some big fucking dudes.
Speaker 1: But and some of you you played football, right, so yeah,
Speaker 1: it's worse than that. It's worse than that, and you
Speaker 1: aren't And I.
Speaker 2: Was, oh my god.
Speaker 1: I was like, it's so painful. And then about I
Speaker 1: don't know, maybe three weeks ago, I fell off a horse.
Speaker 1: What the what were you doing on a horse? I like,
Speaker 1: I like being on horses. Okay, you know Megan is horses.
Speaker 1: Well that's true, so I have to like, but you
Speaker 1: fell off fell off a horse.
Speaker 2: That's a big fall.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I was like, I'm too old for this
Speaker 1: now because when I was lighting the ground, now though
Speaker 1: this could be it.
Speaker 2: So did you fall off the horse?
Speaker 1: Well, you know, it's a long story, but basically the
Speaker 1: girth was a little tight. It nipped underneath his little
Speaker 1: leg thing. He buked and threw me right off big
Speaker 1: horse too. Yeah, I know, but I was only winded
Speaker 1: because I landed in sand. But I failed.
Speaker 2: You know, have you ever you know when you get winded,
Speaker 2: when you fell, When you get that and you think,
Speaker 2: I think my spine's gone. I think I'm done breathing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah that.
Speaker 4: I don't play basketball now because I get scared.
Speaker 1: Well, you got to do something. You're in the gym
Speaker 1: or something, because I work out every day.
Speaker 4: I played tennis now because you can't run into other
Speaker 4: people playing tennis that unless you're playing doubles.
Speaker 2: Okay, do you do you like the tennis? I love
Speaker 2: it so much. Jesus.
Speaker 4: I stop running because I have a torn meniscus, but
Speaker 4: I can still. He'll move around to tennis court. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I just got to hit it really hard so they
Speaker 4: have to move.
Speaker 2: Do you know it's funny. I really don't care for tennis.
Speaker 2: It's the sport of your land.
Speaker 1: No, it isn't.
Speaker 2: Wasn't it Henry the Eighth like tennis? Yeah, I mean
Speaker 2: I don't know Shakespeare mentioned it. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think the thing about tennis is it seems like
Speaker 1: a sort of it feels like it's a panty situation,
Speaker 1: like you take the ball, No, you take the ball, No,
Speaker 1: you take the ball. It's like somebody just keep the ball.
Speaker 4: You could make the same argument about soccer. Why do
Speaker 4: you keep passing it backwards?
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know you could. I'm not lying. I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm not very connected to sport in a big way.
Speaker 1: I like to run. Do you go for runs?
Speaker 2: I do go for runs. And you can still run. Well,
Speaker 2: your knees are all right. It's a little trickier than
Speaker 2: it used to be. I have to slow down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a lot of pounding.
Speaker 2: No, I think I do love it pounding and I
Speaker 2: go for see.
Speaker 4: I think I think the I think tennis is like
Speaker 4: a boxing match because it's.
Speaker 2: I used to do that a lot too.
Speaker 1: See. Yeah, you I never box.
Speaker 2: You'd love it. I should have, but I would be
Speaker 2: all messed up. No, no, no, you can.
Speaker 1: You can box with a you wear some stuff and
Speaker 1: box with someone that you paid and not hurt you.
Speaker 2: It works out, especially in La.
Speaker 1: Well.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's all sorts of gyms with white guys and yeah,
Speaker 4: you were like, I can do it.
Speaker 1: Go to Karen boxing, you know, with all the white
Speaker 1: women of a certain age around box are.
Speaker 4: Just yelling at people that now, now, now, what are
Speaker 4: you doing in this neighborhood?
Speaker 1: Get out of hair?
Speaker 2: And they punch and stuff.
Speaker 4: I have a friend, his name's Duffy Culligan, and he's
Speaker 4: a terrifyingly good box alright, yes, all right, sounds ready
Speaker 4: good Duffy Culligan, Duffy, it doesn't.
Speaker 1: Sound like a boxer. And in the other corner, Duffy Culligan,
Speaker 1: No Culligan, Zoda Tipperary. And that's going to be it's
Speaker 1: going to be a hard match today. He is a
Speaker 1: hard match.
Speaker 4: He got his nose broken, so he showed up to school.
Speaker 4: He showed up to Our kids used to go to
Speaker 4: the same school. When he just showed up, you were
Speaker 4: gone by then. With it looked like, yeah, that someone
Speaker 4: had poured a blood under his skin and it spread
Speaker 4: out over his face.
Speaker 1: See I never did that kind of box. And that's
Speaker 1: real books. I used to box with a Mexican guy
Speaker 1: in California. Used to come to house and even train
Speaker 1: me and I'd boked. But we would come to your home.
Speaker 1: He would come to the house and we would box
Speaker 1: in the backyard. And I like, how you paid a
Speaker 1: guy to try to beat you up? No, no, no, here's
Speaker 1: the thing.
Speaker 2: I paid. I paid him money so that he wouldn't
Speaker 2: beat me.
Speaker 1: Up because he could have beat me up. But I
Speaker 1: always knew I was hitting him really hard because when
Speaker 1: I really fucking laughed, like if I really got h well,
Speaker 1: he'd go like this he good and he would smile.
Speaker 4: That's when you know you're dealing with That's why I
Speaker 4: was like, when people get into fights on the street,
Speaker 4: I'm like, you have no idea who you're dealing with.
Speaker 2: You don't know what could happen.
Speaker 1: No, it's bad. I were you ever a scrapper when
Speaker 1: you were a kid.
Speaker 4: I got into a number of I went to Catholic school,
Speaker 4: so we were always there was always there was a
Speaker 4: lot of tackle football with no pads during recess and
Speaker 4: you never knew but the last oh, I guess it
Speaker 4: was post college that I challenged someone to fight a due.
Speaker 4: I was like, I challenged thee and I had threw
Speaker 4: down your gloves, beautiful pistols that I had brought, and
Speaker 4: we no we were. I was on a co ed
Speaker 4: softball team and the uh, one of the guys decided
Speaker 4: not to slide into second and he just ran over
Speaker 4: this nice woman who was our second basement and I
Speaker 4: would I was like, oh, I'm seeing red. I'm going
Speaker 4: to go kill someone and lushia temper I does and
Speaker 4: it doesn't. I never usually ever, that was like the
Speaker 4: last time I was like, oh, you need to be careful.
Speaker 4: So but no, I never. I feel like there's less
Speaker 4: Maybe there's more phist fights.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I got into a few, but I
Speaker 2: wasn't any good.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: It always ended up on the ground, like rolling around. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I think that that.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, like, you're ten years younger
Speaker 1: than me something like that, right, I literally am right,
Speaker 1: So I have way better hair.
Speaker 2: Well, you're much better shape. That's so.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm like a hairy, out of shape alien.
Speaker 1: You were not out of shape. I have a little
Speaker 1: out of shape, right, Like Yes, the day when I
Speaker 1: went crazy on the candy drawer in the hotel like
Speaker 1: a raccoon, it was bad. It was had you eating No,
Speaker 1: I had gone like twenty four hours. Yeah, so your
Speaker 1: body was like it was just crazy. Did you get
Speaker 1: into a lot of fights? Yeah?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I did, Like you like, would you start fights
Speaker 4: or did you just find yourself in the middle of it?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: It was kind of like de rigueur.
Speaker 1: It was kind of like having a Twitter account when
Speaker 1: I was growing up and like everybody it's oh yeah,
Speaker 1: well twigs I call it now, oh, because it's way
Speaker 1: better Twitter and.
Speaker 2: X you mix them together.
Speaker 1: Twigs. I'm going to send her a Twix and then
Speaker 1: you get a twix bar. Yeah, and then you get
Speaker 1: a Twix, you get a little candy bar. Go crazy
Speaker 1: on it.
Speaker 2: Like a raccoon.
Speaker 1: Is a great idea, it's working.
Speaker 4: Well, Wait, when's the last time you swung or were
Speaker 4: swung at, not in a boxing lesson or in a
Speaker 4: like in in like why I'm in a fight?
Speaker 1: I think it'd probably be about nineteen ninety Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: because I got sober in nineteen ninety two, and by
Speaker 1: the time it was nineteen ninety.
Speaker 4: I was already losing badly. And every every aggressive situation
Speaker 4: they were, were they as intoxicated or definitely yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 1: There was no way that anybody sober was going to
Speaker 1: seriously get in a fight with me because it would
Speaker 1: be you know, it'd be taking advantage.
Speaker 4: Of something you got out of drinking at the right time,
Speaker 4: because you perpetually, like you know, when people get out
Speaker 4: of it lake, they they look like there their skin
Speaker 4: is a leather bag.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and you don't have any of that.
Speaker 1: Well, you know people that I were you were talking
Speaker 1: about guys that were athletes at the same time as you,
Speaker 1: and they like they go crazy and they like they
Speaker 1: stopped working out and they just eat the same amount
Speaker 1: of calories and going, you know, and just to end
Speaker 1: double Well, I see guys that I used to hang with,
Speaker 1: who I drank with, who never stopped right, and it's
Speaker 1: it's like crazy, they're they're like they can't walk and stuff,
Speaker 1: and they're your age. Yeah, it's it's like and they come, oh,
Speaker 1: we have the same age, and I'm like, are we though?
Speaker 2: And then it's like, oh, you've in California.
Speaker 1: I went, Yeah, it's not really about California. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: a it's a little more complicated than just going to California. Yeahthough,
Speaker 1: there's a.
Speaker 4: Lot of meth here, Yeah, there is. Although that keeps
Speaker 4: you young, my friend, it does. It really keeps the
Speaker 4: heart rate up and keeps your skinny. So let me
Speaker 4: ask you this. So you went to Catholic school, right,
Speaker 4: So are you still a Catholic?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: I know you they do say once it's a Catholic.
Speaker 4: So well, I still have the guilt that I'll be
Speaker 4: running away from that for a long time and some
Speaker 4: of the shame.
Speaker 2: But you know, did you raised the well, our boys
Speaker 2: went at the same school, and that wasn't that was a.
Speaker 4: Secular that's well, yes they rented that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Episcopalian, right, but it was a secular you know,
Speaker 1: it's learning experience. There was no kendo.
Speaker 4: Yeah no, And I to this day I love the
Speaker 4: ritual of the Catholic Mass. Yeah, and my wife and
Speaker 4: I are basically Presbyterians now, oh, and I like the ritual,
Speaker 4: but boy, it is Yeah, it's from a know, a
Speaker 4: guy that said give up all your possessions, and I know,
Speaker 4: and then you go to the Vatican and you're.
Speaker 1: Like, well, yeah, one of these paintings in feed Brazil
Speaker 1: and it is. So it's a bit of a little tricky.
Speaker 1: It's a yeah, it's a a junctaposition. I think what
Speaker 1: it is that because I've become fascinated with Christianity as
Speaker 1: I get older and I think about dying more.
Speaker 2: I don't know if that's.
Speaker 4: You're still a bit young for Oh no, I've been
Speaker 4: thinking about it for twenty five years.
Speaker 2: Really. Yeah.
Speaker 1: As soon as I hit twenty one, I was like
Speaker 1: I'm dead. It's over kind of a thing. I mean,
Speaker 1: I do think about it. So you know, I'm slight.
Speaker 1: I'm intrigued by Christianity, and as you say from the
Speaker 1: it started with like give up all your stuff and
Speaker 1: walk around and.
Speaker 4: Just love people. Yeah, didn't talk about gay people, didn't
Speaker 4: talk about it, never mention any never never wasn't those
Speaker 4: judgments on anybody.
Speaker 1: But what happened, I think is when I think the
Speaker 1: equivalent of when Constantine co op to Christianity and the Empire,
Speaker 1: right Roman Empire and became the Roman Catholic Church. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that's like and it hasn't happened yet, but
Speaker 1: it happened in the next couple of years when Starbucks
Speaker 1: opens a store at Burning Man.
Speaker 2: It's a similar type of co option, do you know
Speaker 2: what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's like it's the incorporation of something that was wildly
Speaker 1: counterculture being brought further and further into the mainstream until
Speaker 1: it is available on as Amazon Prime.
Speaker 4: So do you think Peter, one of your apostles, would
Speaker 4: like it was already getting bad, like as far he
Speaker 4: was like, this is not how it used to be. Guys,
Speaker 4: we should definitely not have too nice definitely.
Speaker 1: I mean I think the minute they started writing the Gospels,
Speaker 1: and they were kind of like they started writing the
Speaker 1: Gospels so that they were like the Roman involvement, they
Speaker 1: kind of like tried to move that out, Like ponscious
Speaker 1: Pilot didn't really want to kill Jesus. Pilot wouldn't even
Speaker 1: think about it, evens killing people all over the place.
Speaker 1: He was like, like he crucified more people than than
Speaker 1: you've had candy bars. I mean.
Speaker 2: Thousands of people. I think I haven't had that many
Speaker 2: candy parties.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, that was a bad example that that candy bars,
Speaker 1: salary sticks, salary sticks.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but then he gave up a rapus. Yeah, and
Speaker 4: that see that whole thing.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like the law of has been
Speaker 1: lost in this storytelling over time.
Speaker 4: Do you think of when the one that one pope,
Speaker 4: there's a couple that led armies. They were like it
Speaker 4: seems well, whatever, okay, we're cool.
Speaker 1: You do. I love about because I love the history
Speaker 1: of the popes. There was when they had the cadaver synods.
Speaker 2: Do you know what happened? Oh?
Speaker 1: It was great. So one I can't remember the exact
Speaker 1: popes and now you know, I look forward to your
Speaker 1: emails and twixes. But they there was one pope is
Speaker 1: really mad at another pope.
Speaker 2: These things happen.
Speaker 1: So the pope that was mad at the other pope,
Speaker 1: this pope dies and the other pope that was mad
Speaker 1: Adham is now the new pope, right right, So he
Speaker 1: digs up the cadaver of the you know, the body
Speaker 1: of the other pope. They bring the decomposing corpse into
Speaker 1: the courtroom and put it on trial, and of course
Speaker 1: she loses. He's found Kidd didn't get a chance to
Speaker 1: speak from his lawyer was also dead. There was but
Speaker 1: it's really how about I.
Speaker 4: Think there was one that was like a teenage pope,
Speaker 4: no joke and hied it into a brothel at that point.
Speaker 1: That's a TV show.
Speaker 4: How about the time when there was two popes, the
Speaker 4: ones in France and then the ones in Italy because
Speaker 4: it was but they made the enough to pop, which
Speaker 4: is just.
Speaker 2: A wonderful Is that where that comes from?
Speaker 4: Yeah, because they were like, these are the special grapes,
Speaker 4: it's the chateau of the pope. And I did like
Speaker 4: that even when I was drinking.
Speaker 2: I remember that from back in the day. You know
Speaker 2: that really nailed it, I said to Megan Ones just
Speaker 2: as a young voice.
Speaker 1: She was drinking a fancy way and I went, well,
Speaker 1: you know what, if I ever drink again, I'm gonna,
Speaker 1: you know, start drinking that.
Speaker 2: And she went, yeah, you last half an hour on
Speaker 2: this fucking hairspray. But they ended all.
Speaker 4: Would you if you know you're on your let's say
Speaker 4: you have like you're dying death, You're on your deathbed,
Speaker 4: and you're like, well, I guess I'll have a have
Speaker 4: a sour, you know, kind of like you know, like uh,
Speaker 4: Clint Eastwood and you know, unforgiven, Yeah, unforgiven. When I
Speaker 4: realized like, oh yeah, I'm gonna die, so I'm just
Speaker 4: gonna start drinking a Yeah, no.
Speaker 1: That I see. I read that completely differently and unforgive
Speaker 1: And that's interesting, you said, because when I would I
Speaker 1: love that movie could and I think it is a
Speaker 1: study of alcoholism. Oh because when he knows he's going
Speaker 1: to get in that gunfight and he's going to die,
Speaker 1: but but really what he thinks that I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to kill people?
Speaker 2: Oh and and so I read it as he's like,
Speaker 2: I can't fucking do this sober. I can't fucking oh.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 4: I was just like I was like, well, yeah, you
Speaker 4: he knows he's gonna die. Son, why not. No, I
Speaker 4: don't make a better gun fighter.
Speaker 1: But no, I don't think I would. I don't stay
Speaker 1: so it's not a sure it stays so ober. I
Speaker 1: stay sober because I like it. But the I think
Speaker 1: though there are drugs around, Like, I'm so glad I
Speaker 1: missed the opiate thing right because that ship they will
Speaker 1: kill me. I mean, they'll all kill you. Well, sure,
Speaker 1: but the but the opiates stuff, I mean, I go.
Speaker 1: I had a medical procedure for like a dental thing,
Speaker 1: and they gave me one under supervision for like extreme pain.
Speaker 1: And I was like, my god, this is like fifteen
Speaker 1: years ago and I still think about it. Wow, like
Speaker 1: one you know, and it was you know, the guy
Speaker 1: was like giving it to me with gloves and it
Speaker 1: was a smoking test tube and stuff like that. Still like, no,
Speaker 1: I can't understand how people get consumed by that shit.
Speaker 4: But when you took it, so you're in crushing pain,
Speaker 4: I'm assuming you either had like a like you had
Speaker 4: a like sort root can It was a root canal
Speaker 4: that had become which is one of the most painful agony,
Speaker 4: and you did it without anesthesia?
Speaker 2: No, he did.
Speaker 1: You got all that. I got the anesthesia, but but
Speaker 1: there was something wrong afterwards after the procedure, so they
Speaker 1: had to bring the pain down for a minute and
Speaker 1: then and they did.
Speaker 4: And was it like, oh I could get used to
Speaker 4: this high or thank God for this relief from this
Speaker 4: crushing pain in my mouth.
Speaker 1: Not entirely. Sure, that's that's the thing. And I still
Speaker 1: think about it because like, the removal of the pain
Speaker 1: was amazing, and I'm so grateful that I live in
Speaker 1: a time when that could happen. But there was also
Speaker 1: a feeling of ecstasy, which I feel probably was not
Speaker 1: connected to.
Speaker 4: The removal of the doctor was like you tried to
Speaker 4: order a gin and tonic ten minutes after.
Speaker 1: I mean, there was a lot of you know, I
Speaker 1: struggled with it about taking it, and eventually like, look,
Speaker 1: there's no way around us. You're going to have to
Speaker 1: take it. Because I don't like to take anything right,
Speaker 1: it's dangerous for me.
Speaker 4: I take an advil even if I think I'm going
Speaker 4: to be sore.
Speaker 2: Advill is fine. I'm cool with advil.
Speaker 1: I'm also not a doctor, you know, if a doctor
Speaker 1: says you've got to take something, you gotta take it.
Speaker 1: I mean, there's a weird thing. This happens in LA
Speaker 1: A lot people think because they go to yoga, they're
Speaker 1: a doctor or oh yeah you know. I mean it's like,
Speaker 1: you're not a fucking doctor.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 4: I know if they do a Google search and they
Speaker 4: were like, yeah, I found some stuff out. I feel
Speaker 4: bad for doctors that are like, yeah, I went to
Speaker 4: school for eight years. Yeah, somehow. It wasn't just Google searches.
Speaker 1: It's also like if you look up do you ever
Speaker 1: do this, Like if you look up the possible adverse
Speaker 1: reactions to advil, Yeah, you could terrify yourself. That's what
Speaker 1: the internet is.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's it's terrified. It's the dark web.
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, do you have I think you
Speaker 1: do have a pretty strong social media presence, then you
Speaker 1: don't do all that.
Speaker 2: Yeah I do all that shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah see I do it too, but I don't really
Speaker 1: like I'm not connected to it. There's like a bunch
Speaker 1: of people that do it and they pretend to me,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, well you gotta get rid of
Speaker 1: those people. No, no, no, I pay them. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I pay them. I'm like, no, you you go ahead,
Speaker 1: And did they ever post something You're like, You're like,
Speaker 1: that's not no. They sometime they run it by me
Speaker 1: most of the time. Is that because you don't want
Speaker 1: to do it or you just I don't want to
Speaker 1: connect with it. It's crazy. It's crazy time. You know,
Speaker 1: people out there, you know, talking to your you know, unsolicited,
Speaker 1: giving your opinions and stuff.
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I don't.
Speaker 4: Oh, I don't read anything. Oh that's good. I just
Speaker 4: send it out.
Speaker 1: That's fine.
Speaker 2: That's just like taking a ship in the pool and
Speaker 2: then leave.
Speaker 1: That is exactly what I do.
Speaker 4: I love when it started, like I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: this person, well, there was a time when this is
Speaker 4: for whatever reason, William Shatner would tweet at norm MacDonald
Speaker 4: and I telling us how unfunny we were.
Speaker 1: You and Norma too, the funniest guys who ever lived.
Speaker 1: Norm go dressed them.
Speaker 4: But I mean, well, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever
Speaker 4: said to me.
Speaker 2: But you're hilarious, man, God bless you.
Speaker 4: But no, it was like William Shatner was I was like, oh, no,
Speaker 4: people are gonna know that. William shatt Of course, I
Speaker 4: retweeted it and said big fan. But uh but I
Speaker 4: was like, what kind of a what the I was
Speaker 4: like worried about it for a moment, and then I
Speaker 4: was like fuck all this.
Speaker 1: But uh, yeah. Have you squared up with William.
Speaker 4: Shatton when I met him at Betty White's ninetieth yeank
Speaker 4: you you're Welldy White's ninetieth.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I walked up and I go, hi, mister shantnoner put
Speaker 4: my hand out and he looked at it and then just.
Speaker 1: Stared at me. And I was like, what did I
Speaker 1: ever do to you? Jesus Bill?
Speaker 2: I mean, that's funny because I'm quite friendly with William Shatton.
Speaker 1: Will you tell him hello? You know? He he gets
Speaker 1: an idea in his head though, I mean, it is
Speaker 1: fucking crazy.
Speaker 4: I feel like the Penis Rocket was a big reset
Speaker 4: for him when he learned that the abyss of space
Speaker 4: was pretty depressing.
Speaker 2: But that was that was before Bay after Bag, Yeah, it.
Speaker 4: Was after that. Just like last year. He went up
Speaker 4: in that thing, Oh my god, and I was trying
Speaker 4: when he came back. Yeah, he was like, it's way
Speaker 4: more just Captain Kirk went up there and was like, oh,
Speaker 4: we're tiny, We're just barely holding onto this rock. I
Speaker 4: go that from an acid, I don't need to Oh yeah recently, no,
Speaker 4: bless you, But now, like, what is it?
Speaker 2: The micro dosing is now the big Yeah. I'm not
Speaker 2: a micro dosing sort of a guy.
Speaker 1: I'm a more macro dosing sort of I can't be
Speaker 1: left alone with a fucking candy bar am I going
Speaker 1: to micro doors? I can't do it. Well do you think?
Speaker 4: I mean, not that you replaced it, because you were
Speaker 4: a very healthy person, but to stand up.
Speaker 1: I love that it. It has a kind of zen
Speaker 1: thing about it. I remember reading an interview with Michael Jackson,
Speaker 1: controversial figure but talking about his performance, and he said
Speaker 1: he was so comfortable on stage he feels like he
Speaker 1: could sleep there. Now that could of course have been
Speaker 1: the probe fall, but also the I understand it though.
Speaker 1: I get very comfortable on stage. Yeah, you get that
Speaker 1: way too. I love it so much. I well, yes,
Speaker 1: I do get very Yes.
Speaker 4: I go, oh, this is all the stress and all
Speaker 4: the anxiety falls away when you.
Speaker 1: Were doing the soup, because I remember you started the
Speaker 1: soup maybe a year or something before I started.
Speaker 2: In late night something like.
Speaker 1: That started in fits and starts in two thousand and
Speaker 1: four right, and I started in Late Night two thousand
Speaker 1: and five, so the right and I remember thinking like,
Speaker 1: this guy is the only one that's doing anything like
Speaker 1: I'm doing this is because all the rest I felt
Speaker 1: like everyone else's there's a style of doing late night
Speaker 1: that exists as a it's almost like a genre. And
Speaker 1: you weren't. You weren't doing that, And I didn't do
Speaker 1: it because I didn't know. Oh when I think you
Speaker 1: when you.
Speaker 4: Would grab the camera, I was like, oh, that's good
Speaker 4: that I should have done that. Wow, Like you get
Speaker 4: up there and I would. We had about the same budget, though,
Speaker 4: I think that's what it is. Yeah, well you could
Speaker 4: afford a talking skeleton, though.
Speaker 1: Eventually no, right away, I was four years in before
Speaker 1: I got the talking skelet.
Speaker 4: Well, you didn't have to shoot around pillars because it
Speaker 4: was a converted lobby. But then Ryan Seacrest showed up,
Speaker 4: and all of a sudden they began pouring millions of
Speaker 4: dollars into the studio.
Speaker 1: I'm like, what the this whole time?
Speaker 2: You know, it's funny.
Speaker 1: When Lily Tomlin was on the Late Night Show, she commented,
Speaker 1: she went, Wow, this this place used to be a
Speaker 1: cupboard it was the war, it was.
Speaker 2: The wardrobe room that my studio.
Speaker 1: I mean, I thought, I remember saying you the first
Speaker 1: time you were on my late night show.
Speaker 2: I said to you, you should do this, you should
Speaker 2: do this thing.
Speaker 1: And you never I never saw you kind of I
Speaker 1: never got the sense that you were interested in doing that.
Speaker 2: I never thought I was going to do the soup.
Speaker 4: So that and I always wanted to be an actor,
Speaker 4: and then I was like, well maybe I'm better at
Speaker 4: this theme acting.
Speaker 1: Uh, You're a good actor. I've seen you like community.
Speaker 1: You're awesome.
Speaker 4: You know, that was a dream come true. It's a
Speaker 4: great man for Donald Glover and the way his career
Speaker 4: is fizzil.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know it's just you know, you win
Speaker 1: some you lose them.
Speaker 2: I will say that I was torn.
Speaker 4: I've never really talked, but I I've thought about.
Speaker 2: It and I'm like, oh, that would that would have been.
Speaker 4: But then I you know, I have some self loathing
Speaker 4: that really can kick in. So you never know which
Speaker 4: version of me you're gonna get.
Speaker 1: Well, self loathing it will work for you in late Yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to be you have to kind of hate
Speaker 1: yourself a little bit to just go and do it
Speaker 1: all the time. Yeah, it's rare. It's odd.
Speaker 4: If you see a comedian go fucking nailed it, did
Speaker 4: it again, I'm like, yeah you did. Oh shit, good
Speaker 4: for you. I can't believe how confident you are.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Some are like that, but they're not funny. You know.
Speaker 2: It's it's a it's an oil. Would you do it now?
Speaker 1: I don't. I'm way too old. Oh all looks it doesn't.
Speaker 1: The rules are all changed. Yeah, I'll do it. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I realized I really was with the super how much
Speaker 4: I you know, like you you do so many of
Speaker 4: them that you get like when people send me clips.
Speaker 2: I was like, I have no recollection of that, but
Speaker 2: oh that was pretty good. Oh yeah yeah, yeah, tons
Speaker 2: of that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I now and I was like, oh, the
Speaker 4: pattern of that was really fun and uh and I was.
Speaker 2: Like, oh I miss that consistency.
Speaker 4: I mean, but believe me with the new like I
Speaker 4: host a baking show and I fucking love it, so
Speaker 4: that definitely tickles that little muscle.
Speaker 1: Guys. Okay, but but yeah I don't. I don't.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I when I see like the guys,
Speaker 4: you know, like they're so fucking good, and I just
Speaker 4: don't know if I have the I would like to.
Speaker 4: I mean, you were part of the golden age of
Speaker 4: like the like when everybody was clicking, and I think.
Speaker 2: You too, though I think the soup is part of
Speaker 2: that too. I don't think the soup wasn't.
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like I got paid less than
Speaker 1: everybody though, yeah, you probably did.
Speaker 2: But I mean that's that's sad.
Speaker 1: But you sort of that with community and that was
Speaker 1: good times, yea, and all the other stuff, the like
Speaker 1: spy kids movies and a look.
Speaker 2: Suff well, thank you.
Speaker 4: There's still there's people still like so, Jessica Abba played
Speaker 4: your wife?
Speaker 1: How is that?
Speaker 4: How did that work? Why would someone like that agree
Speaker 4: to be with you? And that's that's a home all.
Speaker 4: I mean, why are you saying that you're extremely handsome?
Speaker 4: Of you are in great shame. I'm trying to get
Speaker 4: you to say these things and it's working.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I see.
Speaker 1: This is that cat fishing. No, that's batfishing. It's like
Speaker 1: catfishing is slightly different. I don't it is bat or
Speaker 1: dog fishing. May be dog fishing, or it may just
Speaker 1: be fishing.
Speaker 2: Difficult fishing.
Speaker 1: Not anymore.
Speaker 4: I'm too impatient. I can't go to it's hard for
Speaker 4: me to go to movies.
Speaker 2: I hear you.
Speaker 1: I just I was like, we're just gonna sit here
Speaker 1: for two hours. They're an Instagram posts. I'm like, too long. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know it's bad. I I just don't read a
Speaker 1: book from time to time. You will sit and good.
Speaker 1: I can't read, which he just likes it very I
Speaker 1: didn't know that way better than I used to be.
Speaker 1: But all that, like just on the way here, I
Speaker 1: am in the middle of a novel and I that's
Speaker 1: all all. I'll put it on when I'm doing the dishes,
Speaker 1: I'll put it on when I'm cooking. I'll do it.
Speaker 1: So you like audiobooks, Yes, that's a Audiobooks are great,
Speaker 1: greatest thing that's that's worth the digital technology just for that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will trade the human trafficking and silk road
Speaker 4: drug and arms dealings to far Man.
Speaker 2: I know your joke.
Speaker 4: I'm still amazed for Like, this thing knows my songs. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I can't just knows. It's just going to identify this song.
Speaker 4: It's great. No, and yes, that has changed my life.
Speaker 4: What's the boody?
Speaker 1: You read?
Speaker 2: The last book I've read read read?
Speaker 1: I think hang on the same yeah, yeah, I never
Speaker 1: got around to that. I did get a few overtures
Speaker 1: from them back in the day. Oh yeah, well did
Speaker 1: you go to ever go to the brunch? Now?
Speaker 2: Celebrities find it's not my thing.
Speaker 1: I'm not. I'm not very good at organized religion. I
Speaker 1: don't really care for it much. I feel like, once
Speaker 1: dogmas involved of any type, you know, I kind of
Speaker 1: like shy away from it. We all do this, not
Speaker 1: oh fucking do well, you know what. I grew up
Speaker 1: during punk rock and we don't all fucking do this now.
Speaker 1: But we all are going to spike our hair and
Speaker 1: wear at the same leather jo. But we're different, We're
Speaker 1: a different We're all different, except when we go to
Speaker 1: that concert, we all get the same.
Speaker 2: I know. It's kind of funny.
Speaker 1: It's like when people get mad at young because your
Speaker 1: kids they're young, they'll be in that kind of rebellion thing.
Speaker 2: And yeah, and I don't want.
Speaker 1: To, you know, force you talking about your kids, But
Speaker 1: I fine. But I do notice with you know, my
Speaker 1: own children that they're slightly disappointed that I don't get
Speaker 1: as outraged as maybe other parents do about their their world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, which is a tricky one.
Speaker 1: I mean they're very dogmatic, the kids right now, I
Speaker 1: mean there they have a lot of orthodoxy that needs
Speaker 1: to be Did.
Speaker 2: Your parents get on you about your what you?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, I used to have to when I was
Speaker 1: like fifteen, punk rock hit and I used to go
Speaker 1: out for the evening to see my buddies.
Speaker 2: And then there was a bridge near our house.
Speaker 1: Now go underneath the bridge and change into punk rock clothes,
Speaker 1: like you know, you'd like stuff your other clothes, put
Speaker 1: the other clothes under the bridge, and then go. And
Speaker 1: of course you come back and I hope it was
Speaker 1: taking it and you have to go. But there's like
Speaker 1: a hope aware in a skill uniform somewhere.
Speaker 4: I feel like that the punk rock scene in great Print,
Speaker 4: where it started, was such a break. Oh my god, jeh,
Speaker 4: I don't know if I I mean we went from
Speaker 4: glam rock to grunge.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's and pretty.
Speaker 4: Big, which was the opposite, which was you know, glam
Speaker 4: rock was hair and full makeup down to then it
Speaker 4: was just plaid shirts.
Speaker 1: And which would be run about the exact moment for
Speaker 1: you because you were in Seattle or that year in
Speaker 1: Washington state, right yeah, and grunge, I think you must
Speaker 1: have been totally into that.
Speaker 2: I was.
Speaker 4: I watched Alison Chains get boot off stage. Wow, because
Speaker 4: the next band is the band called the young fresh
Speaker 4: Fellows of the Band that everyone wanted to see, and
Speaker 4: I remember Lane Stalely going like, fuck you, this is
Speaker 4: great music and there were the crowd was like fuck you,
Speaker 4: get off and then it all worked out for Alison Chains.
Speaker 1: Did you ever get budof stage? Yes?
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too. Yeah when did you get budoph stage?
Speaker 4: It was at the Power one oh six like lineup
Speaker 4: in Anaheim at like an eight thousand person outdoor stadium.
Speaker 4: Sweet and they were not fans and uh when was this?
Speaker 4: This is probably two thousand and nine or nice? Nice,
Speaker 4: and uh, I don't know what you're like. When you
Speaker 4: start getting booed, I have to fight, yeah, a little bit.
Speaker 4: So I turned the clock around and I was like,
Speaker 4: I'm staying up here for this long and which was
Speaker 4: not a great move either, perfect And there was agents
Speaker 4: trying to poach me there and they were they were
Speaker 4: all ran away.
Speaker 2: They didn't poach you.
Speaker 1: After they didn't, they were like, oh that's not what
Speaker 1: we expected.
Speaker 2: And uh so it was yeah, what about you.
Speaker 1: My first stand up was Scottish Week during punk Rock
Speaker 1: at the Ica in London, and basically it was a
Speaker 1: bunch of Scottish punk rock bands and a bunch of
Speaker 1: Cockney punks.
Speaker 2: And they said to me, you should.
Speaker 1: Got your family, you go out during when we're changing
Speaker 1: the bands around and do comedy. So I did, and
Speaker 1: I thought it would be funny were killed, And I did,
Speaker 1: but I was so nervous that my these were physically shaking.
Speaker 1: And the Cockneys noticed that and they started to.
Speaker 3: Show his knees a nok and his knee's noking and
Speaker 3: it became a chant in the entire c' nok and
Speaker 3: his knee's noaking, And well, you had the crowd, well
Speaker 3: they had me, I think.
Speaker 1: And there's equipment being changed behind it. Oh yeah, it's
Speaker 1: the most distracting with garbage. But here's the thing, and
Speaker 1: this is the same with you. I went back, see
Speaker 1: normal people that are not like us, we haven't experienced
Speaker 1: like that, and go, I don't need to do that again. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and you went back, why.
Speaker 4: Well, but I don't, uh, I don't know why. I mean,
Speaker 4: I always have to fight. I'm uh, I have to,
Speaker 4: like I'm extremely competitive, so but that's competitive with the
Speaker 4: universe at that point. Yeah, I think I was ready
Speaker 4: to take them on. I said pretty insulting things. I
Speaker 4: kept going, I kept and to the point where the
Speaker 4: show organizer said, you need to get out of here. Yeah,
Speaker 4: because I I think at one point I was like,
Speaker 4: raise your hand if you don't have a neck tattoo and.
Speaker 1: Fuck wow? They yeah.
Speaker 4: And then I was like watch the soup Bunny. Thanks
Speaker 4: and they yeah, and your ratings go up. Afternoon the
Speaker 4: next day one of the people that was working for said,
Speaker 4: I have a We got like three thousand emails like
Speaker 4: it was wow. They were people like pissed and then
Speaker 4: people pissed at the pissed people.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and but it was, uh, you know.
Speaker 4: It was another one of those moments where I'm like,
Speaker 4: maybe I am terrible at this.
Speaker 2: What's interesting about that?
Speaker 1: That was like, No, that would be like a viral
Speaker 1: thing everyone would share in your yeah, your shame.
Speaker 2: There was nothing. There was no footage. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: thank god, Yeah, that's what I think too.
Speaker 1: I mean I feel for young performers though, like you
Speaker 1: fuck up, everyone going to know forever. I did a
Speaker 1: show once in Denfermlin in Scotland, Carnegie Hall I've played
Speaker 1: both Carnegie Halls, the one in Denfermerlin in Scotland and.
Speaker 2: The one in New York. The one in New York
Speaker 2: is a lot easier the one in Defermlin.
Speaker 1: I went on stage, I was really before I stopped drinking,
Speaker 1: and I said words to the effect of probably a
Speaker 1: little more aggressively. Where I come from, we talk in Glasgow.
Speaker 1: We talk about you people as sheep shaggers, which I
Speaker 1: always thought was bad until I came here and saw
Speaker 1: what your women looked like. And the fuck man, they
Speaker 1: went crazy. They didn't like it.
Speaker 2: They were mad and they were right to be mad. Well,
Speaker 2: they chased That was the opener.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it was ill advised. You probably should have
Speaker 4: bagged on the women in your plan.
Speaker 1: After that, I probably shouldn't have mentioned women at all.
Speaker 1: But these were different times.
Speaker 4: And then as they were screaming where You're like, this
Speaker 4: is what I'm talking see, this is this is why
Speaker 4: nobody plays here. I didn't know Carnegie opened a place
Speaker 4: in Scotch Well he was Scottish.
Speaker 2: He was he was from Scotland. Yeah, they he changed.
Speaker 1: His father was a weaver and then the weaving business changed,
Speaker 1: and so they moved to America and he started us steel.
Speaker 1: I don't know how it wur time, but I think
Speaker 1: he made a little money. He made a little money,
Speaker 1: and he uh, he broke a lot of use.
Speaker 4: But then he felt really guilty start building shit for everybody.
Speaker 4: Was like, you treated these They can't even get to
Speaker 4: the library that you built. Yeah, because we're working for
Speaker 4: fourteen hours. It's definitely the young in duality yet again. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and here we come full circle. You know what, it's
Speaker 4: a shoe of aou young young in duality. Maybe we
Speaker 4: should call it that rather than joy, wouldn't it? Carl
Speaker 4: Young Die nineteen sixty one. Wow, how did you know that?
Speaker 2: I'm a huge Youngian?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Very interested?
Speaker 1: You record your dreams? I used to, but I found
Speaker 1: that I was manipulating them, and I stopped doing it.
Speaker 1: Have you ever done that trip to a dreaming journal?
Speaker 4: I know, I can't hardly write down, oh right, my
Speaker 4: name on a form so you could audio it, you.
Speaker 1: Could like, you know, yeah, But the truth is the
Speaker 1: I stopped doing it because I found that I could
Speaker 1: control them, oh, which felt weirdly counterproductive. I didn't like
Speaker 1: it because you're like this tonight, I'm going to have
Speaker 1: this crazy dream where yeah, yeah, yeah, it's almost like
Speaker 1: Mary Poppins with land on my new sports car.
Speaker 2: Wait, you read my dream journal.
Speaker 4: Well I can go in and out of people's dreams
Speaker 4: while they're asleep.
Speaker 1: Now that would be I don't know if you saw
Speaker 1: a dreamscape is that was that in Dreamscape?
Speaker 2: I thought that was, isn't it Freddy Krueger doesn't he
Speaker 2: do that?
Speaker 1: He does?
Speaker 4: Yeah, but Dreamscape was the first that was. Yeah, that's
Speaker 4: a uh, what's the name Quaid? Dennis Quaid, Randy Quaid?
Speaker 4: Dennis not Randy's boy, because Randy Quaid? What's going on
Speaker 4: with Randy?
Speaker 1: You know? I feel like everybody I know called Randy
Speaker 1: is a little bit crazy. I mean, do you know
Speaker 1: any Randy's that aren't a little off the beaten track?
Speaker 4: I don't. And Randy, of course we didn't. You have
Speaker 4: a different meaning.
Speaker 1: And well, Randy and Bretton means very very horny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how bad for everybody named Randy.
Speaker 2: There's not that many people named Randy and Breton.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of guys named horny, but there's.
Speaker 2: The Horny Chateau.
Speaker 1: I think he was.
Speaker 4: No, So, yeah, you're right, So we don't hear from
Speaker 4: him anymore, Randy Quiet.
Speaker 1: No, no, I didn't. I never heard from him, and
Speaker 1: you never get in touch with me.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: He was very good in that Midnight Express and he
Speaker 4: played LBJ and he was great.
Speaker 2: What about Independence Day? Wasn'ey and Independence?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yes, he was like drunk.
Speaker 1: But flying a plane, Yeah, I think it's a terribly
Speaker 1: bad idea.
Speaker 2: By the way, you should never do that. I wasn't
Speaker 2: ever going to do that. Well, I don't know. You
Speaker 2: had to look about you like you were thinking, you
Speaker 2: know what.
Speaker 1: Well, you're in the air. It's not like you can
Speaker 1: do and nothing can go wrong. Well that's true now,
Speaker 1: as you mentioned that, when the.
Speaker 4: Last time you got behind the the yoke of a plane.
Speaker 1: Ooh last summer, I think, all right, yeah, I like
Speaker 1: to fly.
Speaker 2: I do do that, and you didn't like to fly.
Speaker 2: I didn't like to fly.
Speaker 1: And then I learned to fly because I was ashamed
Speaker 1: by Kurt Russell of old People.
Speaker 2: He was on the show and I was talking about
Speaker 2: I didn't like flying.
Speaker 1: He was like, it's bullshit, You're just a control freak.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh really yeah, And then he got
Speaker 1: me in touch with a flat instructor and I learned
Speaker 1: to fly, but then I went flying with Kurt Russell
Speaker 1: when I only had about eight hours.
Speaker 2: Of flying experience.
Speaker 1: Wow, and you can't cry in front in front of
Speaker 1: snake plisk and it's not cool.
Speaker 4: And did you think, like, boy, if this goes down,
Speaker 4: whose name is going to be listed for?
Speaker 1: Oh? Man, I wouldn't even be mentioned. It'd be like
Speaker 1: Kurt Russell and friend and Scott. But maybe friend would
Speaker 1: be nice hey passenger, Yeah, I guess it would.
Speaker 4: I flew on a plane from a comic con with
Speaker 4: the cast of Star Trek the next Generation, like LeVar
Speaker 4: Burton's right there, and I'm like, LaVar's name would be
Speaker 4: first because Patrick Stewart's not on board. Yeah, And I
Speaker 4: was like, how is this going to go? I don't
Speaker 4: I don't think thoughts like that are helpful.
Speaker 2: I don't think they're not helpful.
Speaker 1: Well, that's fair enough as long as it entertains you.
Speaker 1: Where were you flying when you're flying from San Diego
Speaker 1: to where they? Oh no, we were in uh boy,
Speaker 1: North Carolina for.
Speaker 2: A comic co on. They have them there too. They
Speaker 2: have them everywhere all over the planet.
Speaker 1: You do them for community? Is that comic on thing?
Speaker 4: I've only done two, right, and they're like, oh, you
Speaker 4: can make this, and I was like, I all I
Speaker 4: do is talk all day anyway, So it's talking to
Speaker 4: people and using a lot of hand sanitizer.
Speaker 1: You're talking to me about this fucking podcast, right, Why
Speaker 1: are you doing a podcast? I'm like, oh, no reason,
Speaker 1: no reason at all. You don't like money. Actually, it's
Speaker 1: it's not a hard thing. It's not a chore. It
Speaker 1: talked to people. I mean the rule is for me,
Speaker 1: you just talk to people, like and then you cool.
Speaker 2: Do you to people you don't know and have to
Speaker 2: do a bunch of research?
Speaker 1: No. I mean even if I don't know someone, I
Speaker 1: don't do research anyway because the way I figure it,
Speaker 1: And this is what I always thought about in Late
Speaker 1: Night too, like I'll just ask because we're going to
Speaker 1: talk about it anyway. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So like when people say.
Speaker 1: Oh, did you see Steve Carell's movie, I'm like, no,
Speaker 1: I'll ask him about it, so, well you should see
Speaker 1: it before he gets here. Well, Well then I'll already
Speaker 1: know and it will be fake. I'll just ask him
Speaker 1: what the movie is about, and I'll genuinely be asking
Speaker 1: him what it's about.
Speaker 2: He's not an ideot. He'll be able to tell me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you shouldn't expect everybody just like read the
Speaker 4: book and watch all that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's oh, that's crazy. I remember Salmon Rushdie was
Speaker 1: on the Late Night He was on the Late Night
Speaker 1: Show a lot, and I was like, I haven't read
Speaker 1: the book, man, I read Satanic verses. He went, did
Speaker 1: you like it? I went, yeah, it's amazing, and he went, okay,
Speaker 1: so this other one's pretty good, and then he just
Speaker 1: talked about it. Yeah, he didn't expect me to read
Speaker 1: as well. Maybe he did and he was just being played.
Speaker 4: I remember when Larry King said to Jim Carrey when
Speaker 4: he was promoting Them with Jess.
Speaker 2: He goes, I've watched half of this movie.
Speaker 4: And I was like what an? And Jim Carret was
Speaker 4: like half, Larry, and He's like, I didn't. I fell
Speaker 4: asleep and I will I'll watch the rest later. And
Speaker 4: he was like, oh, thanks, But I was like, I
Speaker 4: think half is worse. That is worse than none.
Speaker 2: I think that is.
Speaker 1: Did you ever do when you had guests on the soup?
Speaker 1: Would you like study them a little bit?
Speaker 4: I would, well, we would look into like sometimes we
Speaker 4: would get pop stars from really big stars South America.
Speaker 2: I'd like, don't and then like he dated Jenna, like
Speaker 2: Jennifer Aniston for ten minutes.
Speaker 4: I was like, all right, well great, so then we
Speaker 4: would have them on, like before slum Dog Millionaire became
Speaker 4: a thing, because we could always get people on the
Speaker 4: way like on the yeah, yeah, yeah, on the way up,
Speaker 4: on the way down.
Speaker 1: Never that's whoever I got as well, occasionally get people
Speaker 1: who are in the zone, but once in a while, yeah,
Speaker 1: Like no, we would put offers out to anybody cup there,
Speaker 1: like sure, what did Elton John say, Like we have
Speaker 1: not heard back.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I will say when Taylor Swift, she was
Speaker 4: only booking you know, Staples Center at this point, we
Speaker 4: reached out like maybe she'll come on, and then her
Speaker 4: people actually got back and they're like, she can't come on,
Speaker 4: but if you guys want to take us to the show.
Speaker 4: And I was like, oh great, now she's aces in
Speaker 4: my book for the rest because she was one of
Speaker 4: the only huge stars that ever got back to us.
Speaker 2: She I think she's pretty good news. Taylor Swift.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like she's like like she's the real deal. She's
Speaker 1: like Dolly Parton. She can write and she can do
Speaker 1: it all and she's super talented, and yeah, I'm kind
Speaker 1: of impressed.
Speaker 4: Yeah she's and everyone I know that has gone to
Speaker 4: her show, people my age and this one was like
Speaker 4: she's the Beatles, and I was like maybe maybe okay,
Speaker 4: Like she is, she's started a movement. And then people
Speaker 4: will complain, They're like I've seen her four times, like
Speaker 4: it's and people like, well, it's just the same show
Speaker 4: over and over, and I'm like, well that's what everybody does.
Speaker 1: You two is doing right now.
Speaker 4: It's not like it's not like they're the change the
Speaker 4: you know, the movie they're showing in the background.
Speaker 1: You know, it's funny. And people say, I'm sure, they say,
Speaker 1: thats you. How do you come up with your comedy?
Speaker 1: Nobody wants the real answer, which is I sit in
Speaker 1: alone in the room for a long time with a
Speaker 1: fucking computer and I work. Yeah, I think and I
Speaker 1: think and I think can I write it?
Speaker 2: Or in your case, I.
Speaker 1: Said, I sit on a plane. You know what's dyslekes
Speaker 1: as well? I mean he doesn't he doesn't write it?
Speaker 4: Well, that guy. He also how many days a week
Speaker 4: is he on stage?
Speaker 1: Oh? He well, he never misses the Comedy Magic Club,
Speaker 1: which is Sunday nights.
Speaker 2: Every Sunday night.
Speaker 4: The only thing that he made a miss it was
Speaker 4: burning his face off and breaking his I.
Speaker 2: Don't know if he missed it.
Speaker 1: I think I think they got into Wheelmanno in the
Speaker 1: gardeny he'd be like.
Speaker 2: And be like, oh, do you ever do an impression
Speaker 2: of Leno to him?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I think I have done, but on his on
Speaker 1: his show. I don't think I would do it in
Speaker 1: polite conversation, but I've done it. Yeah, people do it
Speaker 1: to me all the thame. Oh I fucking donky okay man.
Speaker 2: Thanks.
Speaker 4: I was on that car show showing off my nineteen
Speaker 4: ninety Toyota land Cruiser made by Corsetti Cruisers.
Speaker 2: Oh that was a plug.
Speaker 4: And we were sitting there while the camera's on, Jay's talking.
Speaker 4: We're talking, and then the camera goes off and we're
Speaker 4: just kind of quiet, and I was like, Jay, what'd
Speaker 4: you have for breakfast? And he was like, eh, peanbag,
Speaker 4: yelly sandwich. I was like, in coffee and he's like, hey,
Speaker 4: i's your coffee. No, he doesn't take hot liquids. Why,
Speaker 4: I know it's a real thing for him. He's like,
Speaker 4: no hot liquids. I'm like, what about soup. He's like, no,
Speaker 4: soup is a is what about caspatra? That was my question.
Speaker 4: Doesn't have that.
Speaker 1: And he's got real weird about liquid. He'll drink sodas,
Speaker 1: like sugar sodas. Yeah, sugar sodas and water. Well.
Speaker 4: He for breakfast he had a glass of like full
Speaker 4: fat milk.
Speaker 1: And full fat milk. He's kind of just like clue soup.
Speaker 1: Basically it's a milkshake. Yeah.
Speaker 4: And then I was like, what are you gonna do
Speaker 4: for lunch? He's like in and out Burger, And I
Speaker 4: was like, what did you do yesterday for lunch? She's
Speaker 4: like in and out And I'm like, okay, well.
Speaker 1: He legs man working for legs.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Well, listen, you're a joy as always. It's so good
Speaker 1: to see you, man, it's so good to see you.
Speaker 4: To you other now for a long time, you know,
Speaker 4: twenty fucking years, you were always.
Speaker 2: And continue to be so fucking kind.
Speaker 1: Oh and consider it, and you are well, you know,
Speaker 1: all those nice Hollywood showbiz things. But but real back
Speaker 1: to you. I was, but as you saying them to me,
Speaker 1: obviously wasn't real because you still live in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: but I don't live in Los Angeles anymore.
Speaker 4: So do you remember when we went to I think
Speaker 4: it was Madeo the Italian restaurant, Yeah, and we were
Speaker 4: hearing like we thought was an old lady yelling at
Speaker 4: Woody Harrelson. Yeah, and it turned out to be nutty
Speaker 4: professor Jerry Lewis.
Speaker 1: Yes, it was Jerry Lewis.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because he was holding court.
Speaker 1: Like right, that was going way back. God nts right
Speaker 1: and then the god that I remember that night, that
Speaker 1: was weird. That was yeah, that was you and Sarah
Speaker 1: were the one of the few people that Megan and
Speaker 1: I would actually go out for dinner with and ollive
Speaker 1: it because I don't know about you, but it can
Speaker 1: get a little crazy in this time.
Speaker 2: It can get a little crazy. Yeah.
Speaker 4: But then I look at my friends back in Seattle,
Speaker 4: I'm like, you all seem half nuts too.
Speaker 1: So yeah, everybody's fucking You introduced me to.
Speaker 4: Bob sagit you. Uh, But then I fell in love
Speaker 4: with that man. I loved Bob.
Speaker 1: Bob came over visit visit us in Scotland and we
Speaker 1: had there was this big We're having a big dinner
Speaker 1: in this old house that I may or may not
Speaker 1: own in Scotland, and there was like a lot of
Speaker 1: people there and Bob had to go to the bathroom
Speaker 1: just before we had dinner. So it was like fifty
Speaker 1: people in this dining room and Bob went out.
Speaker 2: I said, all right, look, Bob's in the bathroom.
Speaker 1: When he goes back, we'll see Grace and well then
Speaker 1: we'll all lift her, you know, left leg and smack
Speaker 1: her heal with her right hand. And then I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: so Bob come back and I said, Bob, you're just
Speaker 1: in time for Grace, and we all say grace and
Speaker 1: then we all left our left leg and smack to him.
Speaker 2: Both did the same, didn't mention about it.
Speaker 1: He's like total professional, like, okay, that's what you do here.
Speaker 2: This is what we do here. He fit right a well.
Speaker 2: He was a sweetheart bull he was.
Speaker 4: He was the said like he would end his texts
Speaker 4: with like I love you, yeah, I like eat my balls,
Speaker 4: but I love you yeah. And I'd be like, you
Speaker 4: would only do that if you love something that you
Speaker 4: know what you're right, you gotta have some sort of affection.
Speaker 2: You can't do angry ball eating.
Speaker 1: Listen, no, what a weird way to end a podcast
Speaker 1: or the greatest way I think the greatest way. Good
Speaker 1: day to you, Good day to you.
Speaker 2: I bet you