WEBVTT - When trauma is shared: How to heal together 0:00:03.680 --> 0:00:07.520 Each of us, if we live long enough, is going 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:12.120 to experience trauma. Trauma is a Greek word that means 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:16.400 injury to the body, mind or spirit. Parents, grandparents die, 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:20.639 we may have major disappointments at work, we may get divorced, 0:00:20.760 --> 0:00:25.000 partners may die. So that's traumatic. I think we have 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:28.480 to recover that understanding that trauma is a part of life. 0:00:28.560 --> 0:00:36.000 Collective trauma is what we're all experiencing right now. So 0:00:36.200 --> 0:00:39.800 you know, a mod arbor. In February, Brianna Taylor, in March, 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:45.080 George Floyd in the Midsummer. We're getting reminders again that 0:00:45.200 --> 0:00:47.800 even in the midst of a pandemic, the pandemic of 0:00:47.840 --> 0:00:53.280 American racism is still steadily beating forward. It's not an 0:00:53.320 --> 0:00:56.279 individualized thing. This is a systemic thing. It's not an 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:59.760 individualized experience of trauma. This is rooted in our countries. 0:00:59.800 --> 0:01:04.520 His three. Hi everyone, I'm Katie Kuric, and this is 0:01:04.640 --> 0:01:09.360 next question. It has been a brutal year, not only 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:13.440 for the loss, heartache and isolation this pandemic has brought, 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:19.360 but also because of everything else. It is the nightmare 0:01:19.480 --> 0:01:24.080 that America, I'm an especially African Americans country are living 0:01:24.280 --> 0:01:29.640 and experiencing over and over. She dialoged it in the 0:01:29.720 --> 0:01:33.240 comfort of her own home and over again. A mob, 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:38.280 supporting and encouraged by President Trump, storm the US capital. 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:41.319 We will never give up. We will never concede. It 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:48.440 doesn't happen. You don't concede. Whether who would have ever 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:51.200 believed we would see anything like this now to a 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:55.160 disturbing rise and attacks on Asian Americans from California to 0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:58.080 New York. Six of his eight alleged victims were Asian women, 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:01.640 viciously attacked in broad day lights. Tensions are already high 0:02:01.640 --> 0:02:03.840 in the city where the trial of former police officer 0:02:03.920 --> 0:02:06.880 Derek Showing. Even as the trial was going on, protests 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:10.160 are raging once again in Minneapolis over the killing of 0:02:10.320 --> 0:02:14.440 another unarmed black man. Don't right, remembers the jury. I 0:02:14.520 --> 0:02:17.440 understand you have a verdict. It's a trauma. We the 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:19.720 jury in the above entitled manner as to count one 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:23.520 unintentional second degree murder while committing a felony, buying the 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:28.200 defendant guilty, a brave young woman, a smartphone camera, a 0:02:28.240 --> 0:02:32.160 crowd that was traumatized, as to count two third degree murder, 0:02:32.240 --> 0:02:35.360 perpetrating and eminently dangerous act, find the defendant guilty. We 0:02:35.400 --> 0:02:38.960 saw how traumatic and exhausting just watching the trial was 0:02:39.040 --> 0:02:43.200 for so many people. Count three second degree manslaughter culpable 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:47.160 negligence creating an unreasonable risk buying the defendant guilty of 0:02:47.240 --> 0:02:50.560 that verdict agree too. On top of the fear so 0:02:50.600 --> 0:02:54.160 many people of color live with every day when they 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:57.919 go to sleep at night and pray for the safety 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:04.120 of themselves and their loved ones. It's been painful, and 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:06.840 even though we're starting to inch out of the shadow 0:03:06.960 --> 0:03:10.600 cast by this pandemic, depending on what you've experienced or 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:14.200 witnessed this past year, the light that greets you may 0:03:14.200 --> 0:03:18.799 not be much comfort. So for now, in today's podcast, 0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:23.560 we want to acknowledge the trauma, the individual traumas, and 0:03:23.600 --> 0:03:28.280 the uniquely shared trauma of this past year, and how 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:32.919 we can begin to heal. I think healing looks like 0:03:34.280 --> 0:03:38.720 honoring black culture and tradition, honoring our bodies. We have 0:03:38.840 --> 0:03:43.200 to see this as a public health emergency. When you're 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:46.880 so used to being told that you are in the margins, 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:50.400 and that you're supposed to be grateful for that slot 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:55.320 in the margins, it's it's really liberating to learn that 0:03:55.320 --> 0:03:58.960 that is false and that you are capable of creating 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:03.920 and living your own truth. Today, we'll hear from three 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:09.320 healing practitioners, a psychiatrist, a parenting advocate, and a sewing 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:13.800 group leader, each of them devoted to transforming trauma in 0:04:13.840 --> 0:04:17.159 their own way, and with their help will understand what 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:21.200 share trauma means, how it's experienced, and how we can 0:04:21.240 --> 0:04:26.680 move forward. We'll start with the psychiatrist. Well, you know, 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:30.919 psychiatry is all about trauma. Dr James Gordon is the 0:04:30.960 --> 0:04:34.440 founder and executive director of the nonprofit Center for Mind 0:04:34.480 --> 0:04:39.240 Body Medicine in Washington, d C. The origins of modern 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:42.839 psychiatry with Freud and Broyer and Jane at the end 0:04:42.880 --> 0:04:46.440 of the nineteenth century, and what they understood is the 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:50.640 power of psychological trauma, particularly early in life, to affect 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:53.640 us later in life and to produce all the anguish 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:57.680 and the symptoms of psychiatrist Saul. Dr Gordon is known 0:04:57.760 --> 0:05:02.840 for dealing specifically with popular latianwide psychological trauma from the 0:05:02.839 --> 0:05:07.680 effects of war, school shootings, or natural disasters, and he's 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:11.559 using his new book, Transforming Trauma, The Path to Hope 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:15.520 and Healing to pass on his decade's worth of knowledge 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:18.800 to give people a step by step guide book to 0:05:18.960 --> 0:05:22.599 coming into balance and then using your imagination and reaching 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.839 out to other people. Now. I met Dr Gordon, or 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:30.160 Jim as I know him, in after Haiti's devastating earthquake. 0:05:30.680 --> 0:05:33.719 I was traveling down to Port of Prince frequently to 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:37.400 report on the aftermath and recovery, and Jim was there 0:05:37.440 --> 0:05:41.080 with his center to work with Hades children, many of 0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:45.960 whom had been orphaned and their homes destroyed. Jim says 0:05:46.040 --> 0:05:49.440 that earthquake is a good example of a massive event 0:05:49.520 --> 0:05:53.640 that brings about not only individual trauma, but trauma that 0:05:53.760 --> 0:05:59.040 the community has to grapple with together. That's collective trauma. 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:02.080 And we could see as we talked with those kids 0:06:02.080 --> 0:06:04.520 whom we were meeting at the hospital, each of those 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:09.080 kids also had an individual problem physical injury, loss of 0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.760 a family member, but the whole society was effective and 0:06:12.800 --> 0:06:17.080 that's what we're seeing here. First and foremost I want 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:20.599 to say before we dive into this pandemic which has 0:06:20.680 --> 0:06:24.680 resulted in so much collective trauma. Jim is, I'm so 0:06:24.720 --> 0:06:28.080 sorry about your brother who died at the beginning of 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:31.520 the pandemic. Do you mind sharing what happened with us 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:36.880 now what happened? I may start crying so because I'm 0:06:36.960 --> 0:06:41.200 missing so much. What what is might owner brother younger 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:46.480 by thirteen years, and he had some kind of respiratory 0:06:46.520 --> 0:06:50.800 problem sinus infection. Is living in Dallas, Texas. He was 0:06:50.839 --> 0:06:53.680 doing okay, and the doctor said he was doing okay. 0:06:54.400 --> 0:06:59.120 He just declined. Nobody pushed him to go see a doctor. 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:03.240 Everybody was staying home at that point, and so he 0:07:03.400 --> 0:07:08.159 just died. He died alone at home, and it was 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:11.120 tragic for for me and for my other brother and 0:07:11.160 --> 0:07:13.840 for a lot of people who loved him. And we 0:07:14.200 --> 0:07:17.920 never were positive it was COVID, but but it certainly 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:20.200 looked like it was COVID nineteen. Were never able to 0:07:20.240 --> 0:07:23.000 get a test. And I think that in addition to 0:07:23.160 --> 0:07:27.760 it being almost certainly COVID nineteen, the fact that nobody 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:31.520 checked up on it was a product of the pandemic 0:07:31.840 --> 0:07:35.040 as well, so that nobody would go Nobody went over 0:07:35.280 --> 0:07:37.640 to to see how he was doing, even when he 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:41.560 didn't respond that he was very responsive person. And then, 0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:45.200 of course after he died, we weren't really able to 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:49.680 gather together two mourn so my other brother took care 0:07:49.720 --> 0:07:51.520 of the business that had to be taken care of. 0:07:52.600 --> 0:07:56.400 What's important, aside from the personal loss and maybe helpful 0:07:56.440 --> 0:08:01.600 to other people, is that I gave Eve myself time 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:06.000 to mourn. So every day for months after he died, 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:10.080 I cried, and I set aside time since I got 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:13.040 up every morning and I could feel the weight in 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.760 my chest, and I allowed myself to take some time 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:19.040 to cry and sometimes yell and scream you know, why 0:08:19.080 --> 0:08:21.360 did this have to happen? Why? You know? And I 0:08:21.480 --> 0:08:25.760 miss him so much, and I gave myself time to mourn. 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:28.280 So even though I couldn't do it in person with 0:08:28.320 --> 0:08:31.560 other people, I was able to go through that experience. 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:34.600 And that's crucial, I think. And this is one of 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:37.320 the things that people are deprived of during this pandemic, 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:40.840 is that talk to Morton. This is just one of 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:43.520 a myriad of ways I think, Jim, that the pandemic 0:08:43.600 --> 0:08:47.400 has affected us individually and collectively. Some people have lost 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:50.680 their loved ones. Some people have lost their jobs. Some people, 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:55.000 quite frankly, have lost both. Some have lost the experience 0:08:55.040 --> 0:08:59.080 of working outside the home and feel restricted in their environments. 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:03.479 Some people have the loss of their children. Getting a 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:07.880 kind of more traditional conventional education, UM it seems there 0:09:07.880 --> 0:09:14.040 have been such varying degrees of loss, and yet collectively 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:16.920 it's had a huge impact on all of us. Can 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:22.520 you can you talk about that? Well? I think there 0:09:22.640 --> 0:09:26.800 is a sense of uncertainty among all of us, and 0:09:27.200 --> 0:09:31.079 the ones who manifest it, particularly that I've observed are 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:33.800 young people who are coming out of college or going 0:09:33.840 --> 0:09:38.800 into college, But there is a feeling of what's going 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:41.840 to happen, what's the world going to be like? Is 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:47.560 there a place for me? Plus they're being deprived of 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:52.880 what we have in our society, that the rights of passage, 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:56.960 that we ordinarily have, the rights of graduation, of problems 0:09:57.120 --> 0:10:01.240 of being together away from home, them away from family 0:10:01.559 --> 0:10:04.800 at college or university, or or in fact at work. 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:08.680 So there is a sense of being thrown off. And 0:10:08.720 --> 0:10:11.360 I think those young people have an eighteen year old 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:14.199 son and I can see and feel it in him 0:10:14.320 --> 0:10:18.400 very much, and they are kind of the canaries in 0:10:18.480 --> 0:10:22.040 this coal mine of collective trauma right now. The the 0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:27.600 other group that's experiencing it are the most obvious, perhaps 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:33.520 our healthcare providers, frontline healthcare providers. So not only are 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:38.760 they being traumatized by the threats the physical threats to 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:42.840 their health and well being. They're also overwhelmed by what 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:46.520 they have to deal with, by that the quantity of death, 0:10:46.960 --> 0:10:50.280 and by their inability to do very much about it. 0:10:50.400 --> 0:10:52.800 That's what I hear again and again from them. We 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:55.559 you know, we we feel so, you know, we were 0:10:55.600 --> 0:10:58.840 trained to help people, and there's so little we can 0:10:58.880 --> 0:11:04.320 do in this circumstan. And also anybody who is a 0:11:04.360 --> 0:11:08.160 member of a minority, anybody who is operating on a 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:15.560 marginal uh you know income, they're all traumatized because you know, 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:18.880 there's been a whole lot of hostility against people who 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:23.640 are black or brown Native people and they're dying at 0:11:23.720 --> 0:11:26.840 much higher right, So it brings rates, I'm sorry, So 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:31.199 it brings up that previous trauma as well. So it's 0:11:31.240 --> 0:11:35.480 it's seeping through the whole society. And when those of 0:11:35.559 --> 0:11:38.760 us who are more fortunate perhaps and are able to 0:11:38.800 --> 0:11:42.280 do work from home, we're feeling it too, because it's 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:47.040 like the the lion is just outside the gates. There's 0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.520 there's an anxiety about going out and when can I 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:52.000 do and what can I do? So I would say 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:55.720 there's a general uncertainty, and of course the political situation 0:11:55.760 --> 0:12:00.120 has compounded that uncertainty, what's going to happen and what 0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:03.080 is it going to look like in the future, and 0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:08.800 people just understandably, we simply don't know what happens with 0:12:08.920 --> 0:12:14.080 communal trauma when everyone is affected, how does it impact 0:12:14.120 --> 0:12:17.120 the community, because it seems to me there are all 0:12:17.360 --> 0:12:23.080 kinds of of psychological issues that are bubbling very close 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:27.920 to the surface, if not exploding through. Well. I think 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:30.800 the first thing is to understand that trauma affects us 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:35.160 on a biological level, and the two basic responses that 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:40.040 we have two loss of someone, to threats from outside, 0:12:40.080 --> 0:12:43.360 to worries about the economy, to lack of control. By 0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:48.040 the way, lack of control is, it's a threat and 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:52.680 it's a and we react. We humans react to these 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:56.600 sort of psychological, social, as well as physical threats as 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:58.760 if it were a threat to our life, and we 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:02.760 go into fight or flight response, just as if a 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:06.160 lion were actually chasing us. It may be, you know, 0:13:06.240 --> 0:13:08.400 we're scared about what's going to happen with our work, 0:13:08.559 --> 0:13:12.640 or we're worried about COVID nineteen, and we become Our 0:13:12.679 --> 0:13:17.360 heart races, our blood pressure goes up, our muscles get tense. 0:13:17.480 --> 0:13:20.280 The part of our brain responsible for fear and anger 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:25.280 fires off more parts of our brain responsible for thoughtful 0:13:25.320 --> 0:13:29.679 decision making and self awareness, and compassion shuts down. It's 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:32.440 harder to connect with other people. And then if you 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:36.600 play that out in the social realm, if you're more 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:40.080 anxious and irritable, you're gonna deal with people in a 0:13:40.160 --> 0:13:42.880 more anxious and irritable way. It's going to be harder 0:13:42.920 --> 0:13:45.840 to connect with them. Plus, you're in a state, if 0:13:45.880 --> 0:13:49.680 you're in a fight or flight state where your biology 0:13:49.800 --> 0:13:52.760 is saying, you know, your life is at stake, it's 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:56.400 not so easy to connect with other people. So the 0:13:56.520 --> 0:14:02.360 individual response to trauma, that individual fighter light response also 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:06.319 manifests in social and collective ways. Well, if that part 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:10.040 of your brain that helps you understand and have compassion 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:13.920 isn't working so well, it tends to contribute to the 0:14:13.960 --> 0:14:17.560 polarization that we see in our society, the fear of 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:20.440 the other. And I think, I think, you know, people 0:14:20.560 --> 0:14:23.560 have ways of looking at the world that they've held 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:26.840 long before this pandemic. But I think with the trauma 0:14:27.000 --> 0:14:31.640 of the pandemic and of uh, you know, very visible, 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:38.200 palpable political division that's exacerbating the situation that's that's throwing that, 0:14:38.200 --> 0:14:42.440 that's lighting the fire. The gasoline was there, but this 0:14:42.560 --> 0:14:46.280 is the match that's made people so both so fearful 0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:50.600 and so angry, and made it even more difficult to 0:14:51.200 --> 0:14:54.880 connect with and have compassion for the other. So I 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:58.560 think the trauma has precipitated a lot of the difficulties 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:01.720 that we see socially and lyrically, and certainly for people 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:05.760 of color, it's made them far more fearful. It's also 0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:09.760 made them more likely to be targets of, you know, 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:13.920 whether it's a white supremacists or of anxious police. We 0:15:14.000 --> 0:15:15.960 work a lot with police at the center from Mind 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:19.520 body Medicine. They're very much on edge there on the 0:15:19.560 --> 0:15:24.480 front lines, and that doesn't improve their judgment, doesn't improve 0:15:24.600 --> 0:15:28.680 their capacity to deal with really challenging situations with the 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:34.600 calm and understanding that that's needed. What about generational trauma? 0:15:34.720 --> 0:15:39.720 You know, we hear about you know, trauma being passed 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:44.680 down and I'm curious, is there a physiological aspect to 0:15:44.760 --> 0:15:49.480 this or is it, uh, you know, just shared collective memory. 0:15:50.480 --> 0:15:54.240 What have you learned about that? It's it's both. So, 0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:57.360 for example, if you are a black person in the 0:15:57.480 --> 0:16:02.400 United States, you're dealing if what's been passed down through 0:16:02.440 --> 0:16:04.840 the family, but what people who are telling you about 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:09.280 what happened to ancestor slavery and what happened during reconstruction 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:13.000 and what happened more recently during Jim Crow era, and 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:17.360 then you're experiencing it in your life now because there 0:16:17.520 --> 0:16:22.040 is still systemic racism in our society. So that's and 0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:28.360 then every incident exacerbates that pain and that trauma. In addition, 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:34.960 there is this biological passing down of trauma, and the 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:39.800 way it seems to go is that when we are traumatized, 0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:45.160 often there are changes in structures in our chromosomes that 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:49.000 in turn affect the genes. So this is not like 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:51.840 what we learned about in eighth grade science, where X 0:16:51.920 --> 0:16:56.560 rays you create physical damage to the genes. These are 0:16:56.760 --> 0:17:01.360 changes in molecules that are on the chromosomes, in the chromosomes, 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:06.600 and they're called epigenetic changes. EPI means above and Greek, 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:10.320 and these changes in these molecules, one of them is 0:17:10.320 --> 0:17:15.760 the methyl molecule one carbon three hydrogen atoms. When those 0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:19.280 changes occur, it affects the way the genes act in 0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:22.800 the body. So let's say we've experienced a major trauma, 0:17:23.400 --> 0:17:27.879 that may those epigenetic changes affect genes that help us 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:32.159 to deal with stress. So if I've been traumatized before, 0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:36.760 I may have more difficulty dealing with stress because of 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:41.399 these changes in my chromosomes. Now that's in this lifetime. 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:47.520 When women are pregnant and have been traumatized, those changes 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:51.600 are transmitted to the child in utero, and those children 0:17:51.760 --> 0:17:57.040 have these epigenetic changes not always but often. And also, 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:03.800 and this is positively biblical, the changes can be transmitted 0:18:04.880 --> 0:18:08.119 through three generations. We have seen this. This research that 0:18:08.240 --> 0:18:11.520 was done in New York, very striking research by Rachel 0:18:11.640 --> 0:18:16.119 Yehuda Non Sinai Medical School on the children and grandchildren 0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:22.119 of Holocaust survivors. And even these children and grandchildren, many 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:26.879 of them at the same epigenetic changes in their chromosomes 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:31.000 which made them more vulnerable to stress. And what was 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:34.800 so striking about the research is that you could see 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:38.720 the same changes even in children and grandchildren who grew 0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:45.080 up apart from the Holocaust. So it wasn't social interpersonal influence. 0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:49.720 This is a biological change that happens. How can you 0:18:50.600 --> 0:18:54.520 begin to heal from trauma? How can you be in 0:18:54.520 --> 0:18:58.280 a better balance, and what are the tools that everyone 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:03.200 can can take advantage of. The first understanding is that 0:19:03.480 --> 0:19:06.880 trauma does affect us, and then it's going to come 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:10.040 sooner or later to all of us. Doesn't mean you're crazy, 0:19:10.200 --> 0:19:13.280 doesn't mean you're abnormal. That you need to pay attention 0:19:13.520 --> 0:19:16.720 to the way the trauma has affected you, whether it's 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:21.000 present trauma or past trauma. The second piece that's really 0:19:21.040 --> 0:19:25.359 important is to understand that it is possible to change, 0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:29.920 to move through and beyond the trauma. And that's one 0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:32.160 of the reasons that I tell stories in the book 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:34.960 of people who have done that, who have gone from 0:19:35.000 --> 0:19:39.359 being horribly traumatized, whether it's by wars or by terrible 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:42.679 physical and sexual abuse when they were children, who have 0:19:42.760 --> 0:19:45.880 grown up to be remarkable adults, or who have as 0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:51.240 adults changed profoundly, and then giving people very practical tools 0:19:51.440 --> 0:19:55.360 I teach people. And you're breathing slowly and deeply right now. 0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:59.359 I know because I know what you're gonna say, and 0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:02.600 I but I want to do it and I need 0:20:02.680 --> 0:20:08.080 to do it. We are talking about meditation or mindfulness exercises. 0:20:08.880 --> 0:20:11.679 What I teach is so simple, it's so easy. Just 0:20:11.760 --> 0:20:15.120 breathe slowly and deeply, in through the nose and out 0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:18.359 through the mouth, with your belly soft and relaxed. That 0:20:18.680 --> 0:20:22.480 is the antidote to the fight or flight response. That's 0:20:22.520 --> 0:20:26.760 what begins to bring our brains fully back online. We 0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:30.720 decrease activity in that o magdala in the center of 0:20:30.800 --> 0:20:34.600 fear and anger. We increase activity in our frontal cortex 0:20:34.640 --> 0:20:38.399 in the areas of thoughtful decision making and self awareness 0:20:38.400 --> 0:20:43.840 and compassion, and simply relaxing with our breath makes it 0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:47.080 easier to connect with each other. So that's one technique. 0:20:47.480 --> 0:20:52.440 Second one that's really important is movement, moving the body excers. 0:20:52.600 --> 0:20:55.600 I know you know this. The the enormous value of 0:20:55.640 --> 0:20:59.159 moving our bodies and decreasing our level of stress and 0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:03.440 in proving our mood. Exercise is is good a treatment 0:21:03.520 --> 0:21:07.439 for anxiety and depression as anything we have available on 0:21:07.480 --> 0:21:11.280 the plat. And then we teach them expressive meditations because 0:21:11.320 --> 0:21:14.239 one of the things that terrible things that happens with 0:21:14.320 --> 0:21:17.399 trauma is in addition to going into fight or flight, 0:21:17.480 --> 0:21:22.640 which continues sometimes if the trauma is overwhelming and inescapable, 0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:25.399 as it has been for many people during this period 0:21:25.440 --> 0:21:29.280 of pandemic is they just shut down. They freeze because 0:21:29.840 --> 0:21:33.280 there's nothing to do. So at that point we shut 0:21:33.320 --> 0:21:36.600 down physically and I'm sort of punching over a little here. 0:21:37.000 --> 0:21:41.000 We shut down emotionally. We gnumb ourselves to the pain. 0:21:41.680 --> 0:21:45.840 And expressive meditations shaking and dancing, fast, deep breathing, laugh 0:21:45.920 --> 0:21:50.639 and jumping up and down, shouting, crying, those helped to 0:21:50.720 --> 0:21:55.880 break up the freeze response, so we come back into balance. 0:21:56.600 --> 0:21:59.640 And the more balance, the more we're in a state 0:21:59.680 --> 0:22:03.199 of Balt's, the easier it is to use all the 0:22:03.280 --> 0:22:07.280 self care techniques, The easier it is to use guided 0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:10.920 mental imagery to help us solve problems and I think 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:13.560 through issues that are confounding. The easier it is you 0:22:13.800 --> 0:22:17.840 to express ourselves in words or drawings, or the more 0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:20.520 we can get out of doing something simple like watching 0:22:20.800 --> 0:22:23.960 a TV show or reading a book or reading a newspaper. 0:22:24.000 --> 0:22:27.240 We're relaxed, We're getting more out of it, We're moving 0:22:27.320 --> 0:22:35.320 back into a more balanced vote normal life. Coming up 0:22:35.400 --> 0:22:40.400 the share trauma of parenting through racism that's right after this. 0:22:47.640 --> 0:22:51.440 There's a telling similarity in the deaths of George Floyd 0:22:51.560 --> 0:22:55.480 last May and Dante write this past April It's a 0:22:55.560 --> 0:22:59.840 detail that may not have gone unnoticed by parents, particularly 0:23:00.119 --> 0:23:04.080 those raising black children, that in the final moments of 0:23:04.119 --> 0:23:08.879 their lives, Dante Wright called his mom and George Floyd 0:23:08.960 --> 0:23:13.280 yelled out for his Raising black children in the United 0:23:13.320 --> 0:23:16.639 States can be really scary. Trina Green Brown is an 0:23:16.680 --> 0:23:20.160 activist and mother of two in Los Angeles. My son 0:23:20.720 --> 0:23:24.840 reminded me a lot of Trey von Martin in Tamir Rice, 0:23:25.560 --> 0:23:28.800 and so when those cases came to the forefront and 0:23:28.840 --> 0:23:33.520 we began proclaiming black lives matter, I began parenting from 0:23:33.520 --> 0:23:38.240 a place of fear. So the experiences of Tamir Rice 0:23:38.400 --> 0:23:42.280 planning a park and being gunned down in less than 0:23:42.280 --> 0:23:46.359 a minute by law officer impacted the way that I 0:23:46.400 --> 0:23:48.800 was parenting my little black boy, that he could no 0:23:48.840 --> 0:23:50.959 longer go out to a park without me being present. 0:23:51.680 --> 0:23:55.200 The impact of Trey Von Martin being murdered while wearing 0:23:55.240 --> 0:23:58.000 a hoodie made me take all hoodies out of my house. 0:23:59.160 --> 0:24:01.919 And so I really lies after a while that I 0:24:02.000 --> 0:24:05.160 was beginning to parent from a place of fear, fear 0:24:05.280 --> 0:24:07.119 that my child could be the next Mirror Rights or 0:24:07.160 --> 0:24:10.280 the next trade By Martin. But my fear was not 0:24:10.359 --> 0:24:12.879 only my fear was pushing me to be the police 0:24:12.920 --> 0:24:14.800 in my own house, like there was no police, but 0:24:14.880 --> 0:24:18.240 I started to police. I was allowing white supremacy to 0:24:18.240 --> 0:24:20.280 show up in my parenting because I was so afraid, 0:24:20.320 --> 0:24:22.919 and I didn't want that to happen. And so it 0:24:23.000 --> 0:24:26.320 was in those moments when I would look into my 0:24:26.359 --> 0:24:31.639 son's eyes and see him be afraid, are nervous because 0:24:31.680 --> 0:24:35.720 my fear was being projected onto him. I knew I 0:24:35.720 --> 0:24:37.920 didn't want that for him. I knew I wanted him 0:24:37.960 --> 0:24:40.680 to feel pride. I wanted him to feel powerful. I 0:24:40.720 --> 0:24:43.320 wanted him to feel a sense of agency. I didn't 0:24:43.359 --> 0:24:46.639 want him to be afraid and feel less than. And 0:24:46.680 --> 0:24:48.320 so I knew I needed to shift the way that 0:24:48.359 --> 0:24:53.639 I was orienting myself in my parenting. In two thousand sixteen, 0:24:53.760 --> 0:24:58.960 Trina founded Parenting for Liberation, a nonprofit organization whose mission 0:24:59.040 --> 0:25:03.880 is to help encourage resilient and joyful Black families. Parenting 0:25:03.920 --> 0:25:08.719 for Liberation is a nonprofit organization that really supports black 0:25:08.840 --> 0:25:12.760 parents and raising liberated children, and we do that through 0:25:13.440 --> 0:25:16.560 healing Justice as our framework that really looks at the 0:25:16.600 --> 0:25:22.280 impacts of intergenerational trauma, ongoing trauma, systemic trauma and violence 0:25:22.320 --> 0:25:24.320 that are experienced by folks who are black in the 0:25:24.400 --> 0:25:28.040 United States. What that looked like was me connecting with 0:25:28.119 --> 0:25:30.479 other black parents and learning from them about how did 0:25:30.480 --> 0:25:34.040 they practice liberation in their parenting UM reading books and 0:25:34.160 --> 0:25:37.399 learning about post traumatic slave syndrome and how that actually 0:25:37.480 --> 0:25:41.080 impacts the way that we parent our children. And I 0:25:41.119 --> 0:25:43.880 wanted to make a commitment to parents for liberation and 0:25:43.920 --> 0:25:48.120 like in my home operationalized liberation and also through my parenting, 0:25:48.200 --> 0:25:51.680 raised a liberated child and that resists all of the 0:25:51.800 --> 0:25:55.520 negative and harmful narratives about what it means to be 0:25:55.560 --> 0:25:59.639 black in this country. So literally, our existence and raising 0:25:59.640 --> 0:26:01.680 our child in this way is a form of liberation. 0:26:04.000 --> 0:26:08.320 The organization uses a whole range of resources like books, 0:26:08.359 --> 0:26:13.360 of podcasts, and workshops to connect with and celebrate black parents. 0:26:14.160 --> 0:26:19.040 I think healing looks like honoring Black culture and traditions, 0:26:19.480 --> 0:26:22.720 Honoring our bodies, thinking about the way that we can 0:26:22.800 --> 0:26:26.960 move our bodies and reconnect to our bodies, honoring our breast, 0:26:27.119 --> 0:26:31.520 honoring our voice. That could look like singing together, chanting together, 0:26:31.600 --> 0:26:36.320 humming together. That can look like um, reconnecting to Mother 0:26:36.400 --> 0:26:41.400 Earth and reconnecting to herbs and medicine. There's something about 0:26:41.440 --> 0:26:48.440 the connection to the medicinal offerings of Mother Nature, mother Earth, 0:26:48.840 --> 0:26:52.600 and I feel like returning to those kind of indigenous 0:26:52.600 --> 0:26:56.280 practices and ancestral practices UM are the ways that we 0:26:56.320 --> 0:27:01.000 can heal. Also, the impact of weathering, like that whole 0:27:01.040 --> 0:27:04.280 theory that like being black in this country, weather's on 0:27:04.280 --> 0:27:07.879