1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,000 Speaker 1: Keep back a lot, Hold on tight, we got it 2 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:05,120 Speaker 1: for you. Here. It is to Strawberry letter, Thank you nephew. 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 1: Subject she needs to get her kids. Dear Stephen Shirley. 4 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:12,000 Speaker 1: I am a fifty year old with three children and 5 00:00:12,039 --> 00:00:15,440 Speaker 1: I've been married for fourteen years. All of the children 6 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:18,520 Speaker 1: are grown and are on their own, so my husband 7 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:21,639 Speaker 1: and I have the house to ourselves. I love my 8 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,840 Speaker 1: alone time with my husband, but his sister is causing 9 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 1: some big problems in our marriage. His sister gets on 10 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,559 Speaker 1: my last nerve. She is an unstable mother and she 11 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:35,199 Speaker 1: drops her kids off at my house with no warning. 12 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 1: I am tired of dealing with her kids. One day recently, 13 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,360 Speaker 1: I was walking into my living room and I saw 14 00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,559 Speaker 1: her letting her kids out of the car and she 15 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,880 Speaker 1: drove off. My husband was at work, so I ended 16 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 1: up keeping the kids, which meant feeding them. I called 17 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:53,320 Speaker 1: my mother in law and told her to come get 18 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 1: the kids. My mother in law is sick of the 19 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 1: kids too. There have been many times when she has 20 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: asked me to keep the kids for a few hours, 21 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,000 Speaker 1: then will return at three am to pick them up. 22 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: She just sits in the driveway and blows her horn 23 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: or shines her light on bright through my front windows. 24 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: She also has my husband doing crazy stuff like changing 25 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: her locks at night because she broke up with a 26 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: boyfriend and didn't want him to be able to get 27 00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:23,240 Speaker 1: into her house. Stephen Shirley. She is thirty eight years 28 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:27,240 Speaker 1: old and the family keeps enabling her. I am not 29 00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 1: going to keep this up, and I told my husband 30 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:32,560 Speaker 1: that enough is enough. I am at war with my 31 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 1: husband over her because it's his only sister. I hope 32 00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:38,440 Speaker 1: and pray I'm not being unreasonable by telling him to 33 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,120 Speaker 1: choose between me and his sister. I got so angry 34 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:43,000 Speaker 1: over his sister and her kids, and I told my 35 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: husband to go move in with her. I am not 36 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,360 Speaker 1: a daycare and I want to set boundaries with this woman. 37 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,440 Speaker 1: How should I handle this this? Well, you're you're up 38 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:54,200 Speaker 1: to a good start with setting boundaries with her, with 39 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:58,240 Speaker 1: letting her know that you're not a daycare, with getting 40 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:02,160 Speaker 1: angry with your husband. You're you're right about the family 41 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: enabling her. She's been allowed to do this for so 42 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 1: long she thinks that it's okay to do this, and 43 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:10,519 Speaker 1: you're so right. I mean, everything you're saying your sister 44 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:14,160 Speaker 1: in law is dead wrong and because of it. Her 45 00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: children arelves they're suffering because of this, going from house 46 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: to house, your house to the grandmother's house, and no 47 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,720 Speaker 1: telling who else. You know that she does this too, 48 00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: just dropping them off at random houses with random people. 49 00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 1: This is ridiculous. I mean, she's rude, she's entitled, she 50 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 1: needs to be checked. So you're definitely on the right path. 51 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 1: You need to learn to say no. That's what happens 52 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:39,440 Speaker 1: when you set boundaries. You got to tell her no, 53 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,679 Speaker 1: all right, even if she does drop the kids off, 54 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 1: get right back in your car and you know, follow 55 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,120 Speaker 1: her or drop them off at her house. Whatever. But 56 00:02:50,280 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: you don't want this responsibility. And it's not the kid's fault. 57 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 1: I'm sure you know. I feel so sorry for these 58 00:02:55,960 --> 00:03:00,320 Speaker 1: children and badly for the kids because if she is 59 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: unstable like you say she is, and she sounds like it, 60 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 1: that they have to, you know, have a mother like this. 61 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 1: This is terrible. But again, you're gonna have to to 62 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,399 Speaker 1: learn how to say no and mean it. And one 63 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:13,960 Speaker 1: of the thing your husband is going to have to 64 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 1: get on board and support you, not her, You or 65 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,200 Speaker 1: his wife. She's not his wife. Those are not his kids, 66 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,960 Speaker 1: they're your relatives. But she needs to deal with her 67 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:28,959 Speaker 1: own responsibilities. Steve, You know, I was trying to find 68 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:33,359 Speaker 1: the humor in this letter, but I couldn't. Yeah, because 69 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:39,440 Speaker 1: I know trifling ass people and this. You've been married 70 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:43,920 Speaker 1: to your man fourteen years. Y'all got three children, and 71 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: all the children have grown, so they out on their own. 72 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: Y'all got the house to yourself. So you thought you 73 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,680 Speaker 1: love your lone time with your husband, but you ain't 74 00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:59,480 Speaker 1: got it no more. But his damned sister, thirty eight 75 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: years old, unstable mother, she dropping out. You didn't say 76 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,160 Speaker 1: how many kids? Did she say how many kids? She 77 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 1: just says kids. But the woman writing the letter has 78 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 1: three children of her own, so we know at least 79 00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:17,640 Speaker 1: two of these kids is getting dropped off. She drops 80 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:21,160 Speaker 1: her kids off at my house with no warning. No, 81 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 1: I'm tired of dealing with her kids. Well, you really 82 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:30,839 Speaker 1: tired of dealing with the kids like this way? You 83 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,360 Speaker 1: know one day recently you walked into your living room 84 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:35,559 Speaker 1: and you saw her letting her kids out to car, 85 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:40,279 Speaker 1: and she drove off your husband at work, hidie, damn kids? 86 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 1: Cause not? I feel sorry for the kids, like surely say, 87 00:04:43,279 --> 00:04:45,120 Speaker 1: because they got to walk up on the har on 88 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:47,760 Speaker 1: the porch and they know this health a post at 89 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:51,560 Speaker 1: least knock on the door telling were coming. But the 90 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 1: kids got to go in the house. They don't know 91 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:58,200 Speaker 1: what else to do. I don't know what to tell you, man, 92 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:00,160 Speaker 1: There is no humor in this letter, So let me 93 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:02,960 Speaker 1: just quit trying to look forward. This thing that got 94 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,960 Speaker 1: on your lad's nerve. And I ain't mad at you. 95 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:08,160 Speaker 1: So your husband's at work, she drops them off. You 96 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: ended up keeping the kids. Now you got to feed 97 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: them because you're a decent person. Then you called your 98 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: mother in law and you told her to come get 99 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:20,920 Speaker 1: the kids. The mother in laws sick of the kids too. Damn. Yeah. 100 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,600 Speaker 1: Now I feel really bad for these kids because they 101 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,760 Speaker 1: get shoveled off from house to house and they knowing 102 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: everybody mad when they see them. But the kids ain't 103 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:34,599 Speaker 1: doing nothing. They just to result of having a trifling mama. 104 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:38,880 Speaker 1: And I feel bad for these kids. Man. Listen, Dad, 105 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 1: what dad? She never mentioned that? Now shee she got 106 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:50,279 Speaker 1: a boyfriend that you know, the husband had to change 107 00:05:50,279 --> 00:05:53,480 Speaker 1: the locks at her house because her boyfriend and the the 108 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,360 Speaker 1: hood was breaking up. You gotta change locks because he 109 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 1: coming in. That's been many times when she asked. She 110 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,360 Speaker 1: has asked me to keep the kids for a few 111 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,360 Speaker 1: hours and then we'll return at three am to pick 112 00:06:08,400 --> 00:06:10,479 Speaker 1: them up. Who wakes the babies up in the middle 113 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 1: of the damn night? Right? She trifling on a whole 114 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:18,360 Speaker 1: lot of levels. I think I got something that for you. 115 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,040 Speaker 1: I got all right, Well, hold on, let's recap today's 116 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:26,760 Speaker 1: strawberry letters subject she needs to get her kids. Lady 117 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,240 Speaker 1: fifty years old got three kids, they grown, they moved 118 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,120 Speaker 1: out the house. Her and her husband got the house 119 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:35,039 Speaker 1: all today's self. She loves her lone time with her man. 120 00:06:35,960 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 1: She only got one problem. Her man's sister. Unstable mother 121 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:46,960 Speaker 1: drops the kids off without any warning, just drops them off. 122 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:49,800 Speaker 1: She tired of this. One day she was walking in 123 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,120 Speaker 1: the living room and saw her pull up and just 124 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 1: let the kids out and then drove off. I'll be damn. Now, 125 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:58,839 Speaker 1: you gotta be kind to the kids, because it ain't 126 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:01,120 Speaker 1: the kids fault. But now you gotta take care them. 127 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 1: You gotta feed them. You just gonna sit down and 128 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,440 Speaker 1: just watch the TV with your feet up. Now you're 129 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:08,840 Speaker 1: feeding kids. Then you can't count the time she come 130 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,360 Speaker 1: by and tell you watching kids for a few hours 131 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,320 Speaker 1: and then return at three am in the morning and 132 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 1: pick them up. Now here. The trifling part this is 133 00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:20,800 Speaker 1: how trifling this health is. She comes and just sits 134 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: in the driveway and blows her horn or shines her 135 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:32,880 Speaker 1: lights on bright through my front windows. Boy, crazy boy, 136 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 1: If that ain't ignorant, you tell me. But if you 137 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: want to really keep it funking, here we go. I 138 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 1: got something for you at the end. Though. She also 139 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:48,280 Speaker 1: has my husband doing crazy stuff like changing her locks 140 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: at night because she broke up with her boyfriend didn't 141 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 1: want him be able to get into her house. Stephen Sherley, 142 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: She's thirty eight years old. The family keeps enabling her. 143 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,240 Speaker 1: I ain't gonna keep up with this. I told my 144 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:05,560 Speaker 1: husband that enough is enough. I'm at war with my 145 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 1: husband over her because it's his only sister. I understand that, 146 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:14,120 Speaker 1: I hope and pray I'm not being unreasonable. You're not 147 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: by telling them to choose between me and his sister. 148 00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,960 Speaker 1: Okay that nah, No, that that went a little far, 149 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: But I understand because you're mad. I got so angry 150 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: over his sister and her kids that I told my 151 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 1: husband to go move in with her well, since he 152 00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 1: liked taking care of kids so much. You know, I 153 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,400 Speaker 1: think it's a good idea. Since he likes taking care 154 00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,560 Speaker 1: to kids that much, then it's a good idea that 155 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,319 Speaker 1: he just moves on end with him. That's what I think. 156 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 1: But I told my husband, and I'm not at daycare 157 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,640 Speaker 1: and I want to set boundaries for this woman. How 158 00:08:49,679 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: sit I handle this? Well? I didn't read this ladd 159 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:55,440 Speaker 1: and business nice. Here's the only solution I got. Every 160 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 1: you tell her this, what has to happen every time 161 00:09:00,720 --> 00:09:05,040 Speaker 1: she dropped them kids off on your ass? You are 162 00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,199 Speaker 1: to go by her house and get on her ass. 163 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: What does that mean, Steve, break it down. If she 164 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,200 Speaker 1: dropped the kids off on your ass, you ought to 165 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,079 Speaker 1: go over there and be on her. What you got? 166 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: Whoop o ass one time? Bottom line? Yeah, I think 167 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,640 Speaker 1: she really just got to whoop our ass one time. 168 00:09:25,240 --> 00:09:29,000 Speaker 1: I think we're down to that. She trifling. Some people 169 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 1: need a good slapping and sit her down and tell her, 170 00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 1: you know what, you are really abusive to your children, 171 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: and you are to be ashamed of yourself, and you 172 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:46,479 Speaker 1: really these kids deserve better. You put them in uncompromising positions, 173 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:50,040 Speaker 1: passing them off like they potato chips. These kids know 174 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 1: that they're being drug around and passed off. They know 175 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 1: their mama unstable and ain't nobody told you? But you 176 00:09:56,080 --> 00:10:00,319 Speaker 1: are trifling ass, mama, and you need to get your 177 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:03,520 Speaker 1: sugar honey iced tea together for I slapped the sugar 178 00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: honey iced tea. Good, Paul, good. Pause. I think that's 179 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:14,840 Speaker 1: what has to happen because of the families in there. 180 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:19,079 Speaker 1: He's an able because it's his only system, so he 181 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:23,000 Speaker 1: trying to help out. It's his baby system. I know 182 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: that parameter has got to be pulling on it. Yeah, 183 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,080 Speaker 1: the mother is already sick of them, so y'all got 184 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: to do something. Man, y'all cats can't keep doing it 185 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: like this, right, she needs to be whooping her hands all. 186 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:41,439 Speaker 1: I see, that's all I mean. Really, I just don't man. 187 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 1: This ain't about no therapy or nothing. She needs somebody 188 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:50,200 Speaker 1: to get her undivided damn attention. Yeah, and nothing gets 189 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 1: your attention. Like I asked, woman, got immediately everyone. I 190 00:10:54,920 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 1: have got me from my mama from some dudes, every 191 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:05,040 Speaker 1: last one of them. Yes, that's what I think you 192 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:08,600 Speaker 1: should do, And just remind her every time you dropped 193 00:11:08,679 --> 00:11:11,960 Speaker 1: him off on my ass. I'm gonna be back over 194 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 1: here on your ass. Yeah, so what were you doing? 195 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:28,400 Speaker 1: A rass? We exchanging asses what we exchange as? But 196 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:33,439 Speaker 1: the whole up though. She brings the kids unannounced, so 197 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:37,719 Speaker 1: the husband he like, wow, he called off. God too 198 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,280 Speaker 1: late too, and you got the call before you bring 199 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,800 Speaker 1: these kids over an ass. Make sure we ain't got 200 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,559 Speaker 1: nothing to do. I'm sorry, I'll just be thinking. And 201 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,240 Speaker 1: then she do it again. She did. You had already said. 202 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 1: She just pull up and let him out and drive off. 203 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 1: This chick knows she trifling and she doing it on purpose. 204 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 1: It's I don't know, it's a lot to do because dude, 205 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:02,320 Speaker 1: she drop opp him off while he was at work. Yeah, 206 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: oh you you shouldn't have been in the window. H 207 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: She saw you shut your doors, pull your blash down, 208 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,400 Speaker 1: act like you all right? Well, listen post your comments 209 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,840 Speaker 1: on today's Scruberry Letters Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. 210 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,559 Speaker 1: Quiet and don't forget to check out the Stubberry Letter 211 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:31,800 Speaker 1: podcast on demand. You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.