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Speaker 1: All from Smelly.

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Speaker 2: Hello, is this the get go? Yeah? Who is this?

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Speaker 3: Hey?

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Speaker 4: Smelly?

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Speaker 2: Have we spoken before? Smelly?

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Speaker 1: We have not. This is my third time call, so

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Speaker 1: I'm really excited to stick to.

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Speaker 5: You, Alisle House.

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Speaker 4: Your new year going so far?

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Speaker 1: Am I the first caller of the new year?

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Speaker 2: Yes? You are? You're my first call of the new year?

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Speaker 2: What's uh? What's cracking? Smelly?

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Speaker 1: Not too much? My man started listening to a couple

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Speaker 1: of weeks ago, and I wanted to give a call because, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I just turned thirty years old, moved

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Speaker 1: back to my parents' basement here recently. I went through

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Speaker 1: some kind of rough year the past year.

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Speaker 4: I was living the.

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Speaker 1: Living in a trailer in the woods, kind of doing

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Speaker 1: some hard drugs and ship and then ended up like

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Speaker 1: getting drugged by some people that I thought were close

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Speaker 1: to me, HP and me and I kind of got

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Speaker 1: sexually assaulted. So I woke up with a assle next morning,

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Speaker 1: and it was not something I wanted to go through

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Speaker 1: by any means. So you know, yeah, just kind of

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Speaker 1: wanted to call and then get your advice and see

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Speaker 1: what you have to say about it, mister gay.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Beginning twenty twenty four with uh with a lot,

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Speaker 2: How did you end up in a forest and a

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Speaker 2: trailer doing drugs?

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Speaker 1: So I'd moved out to I was in California at

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Speaker 1: the time, So I moved out to California out of college.

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Speaker 1: I had a really good job, but I was like

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Speaker 1: super loss. I was just like, you know, yeah, at

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Speaker 1: the end of it, I had worked for seven years

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Speaker 1: and technology sales and like made my way up and

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Speaker 1: was account executive, was making one hundred and fifty thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars a year. But then COVID happened and I was

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Speaker 1: able to move wherever I wanted, and I was still

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Speaker 1: feeling off. I was still twenty three at the time,

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Speaker 1: you know. So I decided to move to the woods,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to learn at the homestead and at

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Speaker 1: a farm, and I did. I did learn that. I

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Speaker 1: learned how to raise chickens and ducks and work with goats,

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Speaker 1: and then how to grow weed and all that good stuff.

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Speaker 1: So I learned a lot out there, for sure, about

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Speaker 1: like homestead and living off the land, living off grid,

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Speaker 1: and I kind of wanted to learn that in a

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Speaker 1: certain way, I guess. But then, yeah, the stress of

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Speaker 1: my job, I ended up getting this really bad car

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Speaker 1: accident in twenty twenty one, like almost died, hit a tree,

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Speaker 1: fellow people on the wheel hit a tree. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was really bad. So then I ended up quitting

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Speaker 1: my job after that and kind of starting to explore

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Speaker 1: the homesteading life more, you know what I mean, diving

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Speaker 1: more into that side of myself. It was kind of

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Speaker 1: like the movie Into the Wild. It felt like I

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Speaker 1: think it was a lot of ego going through that.

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Speaker 2: I don't know sure, yeah, I mean Into the Wild

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Speaker 2: ended with the guy dying somebody that you didn't die. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 2: see you How long were you in the trailer for.

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Speaker 1: Let's see, it was probably like eight months?

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Speaker 2: Okay, what kind of drugs were you doing?

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Speaker 1: I was doing maths or yeah, Crystal.

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Speaker 2: Okay, are you clean from from meth now now that

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Speaker 2: you're moving out of the woods, Yes.

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Speaker 1: Sir, Yeah, I've been cleaning for over a year now.

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Speaker 2: That's great.

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Speaker 1: I stop drinking hard liquor about a year ago too.

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Speaker 1: They're kind of a combination of the two things. I

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Speaker 1: was like finishing one seven five and three days and

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Speaker 1: banging a ounce of meth in like a month.

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Speaker 2: Were you alone in the trail No, I.

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Speaker 1: Was on I was on this lady's land, like my

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Speaker 1: landlady was. She had a house like within half a

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Speaker 1: mile that I could walk through and we checked it

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Speaker 1: in every day. And then I had a girl that

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Speaker 1: was like my girlfriend at the time, and she would

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Speaker 1: come to see me and spend days with me at

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Speaker 1: the time, Okay, which is very magical actually great.

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Speaker 2: And then what was the catalyst for leaving the woods

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Speaker 2: and coming back home?

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Speaker 1: It was definitely a sexual assault for sure. That just

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Speaker 1: kind of woke me up, like snapped me into a wow. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, m hm. That definitely snapped me out of

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Speaker 1: a lot of the kind of whatever you want to

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Speaker 1: call it, the fog. I was into whatever.

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Speaker 2: M And when you how long ago was it that

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Speaker 2: you left the trailer and came back to your parents' house.

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Speaker 1: It's been it's been like eight months now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, April, how how have the eight months been?

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Speaker 1: It's my good you know it took I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm still getting over the fact that I'm thirty in

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Speaker 1: my parents' basement. But once I've kind of re established

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Speaker 1: that relationship and the fact that I'm safe and.

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Speaker 2: Health, I think I think there's several worse things to

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Speaker 2: be than thirty living in your mom's basement. One of

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Speaker 2: them is probably doing math in a trailer in the woods.

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Speaker 2: So i'd say you're alling up for a trajectory. I agree,

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Speaker 2: Where do you want to go from here?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, that has been traumatic a couple

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Speaker 1: of years, right, just kind of like going from making

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Speaker 1: that much money to not making any money now. But

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Speaker 1: then I've learned a lot of skills and now I'm

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Speaker 1: kind of I'm doing lands I had done landscaping over

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Speaker 1: the summer and not doing you know, door dash anything

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Speaker 1: I can kind of make a couple extra bucks on.

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Speaker 1: So I think it's kind of figuring. But I also,

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Speaker 1: you know, I got a college degree, so it's like

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Speaker 1: I'm kind of deciding between do I I really like

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Speaker 1: working on my hands, so I kind of want to

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Speaker 1: go to trade school, but I also could go get

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Speaker 1: a master's degree and like natural resources stewardship or something

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Speaker 1: where it would be like working with the land and

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Speaker 1: indigenous communities or certain communities that have big pots of

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Speaker 1: land that need help like managing you know. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, that's just kind of thing, but I yeah,

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Speaker 1: I always changed my mind too.

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Speaker 2: What's your degree in?

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Speaker 1: It was a sustainable systems management, a Bachelor of Science.

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Speaker 2: That's cool. Did you ever hold a job that was

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Speaker 2: related to your degree?

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Speaker 1: Not directly. I I'd went into sales just because, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I was moderately good at it back when I was

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Speaker 1: like a soft more in college in college, and I

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Speaker 1: kind of stuck with that for seven years. So yeah,

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Speaker 1: I did different yeah companies and then tech companies.

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Speaker 2: Are you still with your girlfriend?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, she's back in California still Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Okay, mm hmm. What's your relationship like with your parents

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Speaker 2: that you're staying with?

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Speaker 1: It's solid for sure. I'm very blessed. I'm very very

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Speaker 1: lucky to have. Yeah, I'm better, you know, alive, enable

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Speaker 1: and willing to yeah, take me in and kind of

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Speaker 1: support me and be there for me in that way.

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Speaker 1: So I'm very.

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Speaker 5: Grateful for that.

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Speaker 2: M Now, do you have like friends or or any

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Speaker 2: other kind of like a community besides just your parents?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, no doubt.

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Speaker 1: So I have a lot of I'm back like it's

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Speaker 1: obviously I'm from where I'm originally from now or I'm

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Speaker 1: back where I'm from Ridgily from So I have all

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Speaker 1: my hometown friends that I've been reconnecting with all these

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Speaker 1: past eight months or so, so I'm definitely close with

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Speaker 1: them for sure. Yeah, I'm gonna start doing some coaching

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Speaker 1: in the spring, so that'll be good to kind of

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Speaker 1: like that's my first like group organization that I'm kind

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Speaker 1: of getting myself back into since working in corporate life.

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Speaker 1: So that'll be good.

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Speaker 6: M h.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like that's important. You know, I've I've

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Speaker 2: spent many a time just isolated, and uh, it's probably

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Speaker 2: not good. It's probably not healthy. I'm no doctor lizard guy.

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Speaker 2: I'm just a dumbass with the podcast. But it's probably

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Speaker 2: it's probably it's probably healthy. Okay, So you're getting yourself

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Speaker 2: back out around other human beings, not isolated in the woods.

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Speaker 2: You're clean off of myth. Hmmm. Again, everything you've told

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Speaker 2: me sounds as though, uh, you were on an upward

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Speaker 2: trajectory as I'm talking to you right now. Do you

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Speaker 2: do you believe that about yourself?

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Speaker 1: Certainly? Yes, Yeah, I definitely do. I guess this is

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Speaker 1: something you know, two years ago, when I was working corporate,

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Speaker 1: I never thought I would be doing a trailer kind

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Speaker 1: of things. That's like I don't talk about it often, right,

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Speaker 1: and so I really appreciate you've been here to be

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Speaker 1: able to yeah, kind of help me air it out

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Speaker 1: a little bit.

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Speaker 5: It means a lot.

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Speaker 2: Well, here's the thing, though, is the grass is always

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Speaker 2: green or right, because there's so many people with corporate

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Speaker 2: jobs that probably wish that they were doing drugs in

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Speaker 2: a van in the woods, right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, hm hmm.

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Speaker 2: Well what's your dream, man? What do you uh, what

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Speaker 2: do you want to do the rest of your life?

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Speaker 1: I want to make enough money to support myself and

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Speaker 1: by a plot of land. Eventually, I want to raise

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Speaker 1: my chickens and my ducks and get a horse and

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Speaker 1: have some kind to live off the land, you know,

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Speaker 1: in the most sustainable way possible, but also maintain a

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Speaker 1: good connection with the community to make sure. I don't

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Speaker 1: like it, man, loss like I did in the lacked

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Speaker 1: in the past, because that was fun.

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Speaker 2: I like that. I don't think that you're living at home,

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Speaker 2: and you know, you living at home in your mom's

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Speaker 2: basement at thirty, I don't think that that's uh, you know,

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Speaker 2: from what I understand about you and what you want

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Speaker 2: to do with your life, I don't think that's any

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Speaker 2: kind of impediment to your goals. Not that I know

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Speaker 2: how to start a farm from scratch, but you know

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Speaker 2: something sometimes, man, and I really do believe this, Like,

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Speaker 2: if you're so far gone, right, if you're just like,

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Speaker 2: you know, just at your at your lowest, and you're

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Speaker 2: addicted to drugs and you're you know, just just at like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you're all the way at the the at the left

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Speaker 2: hand side of the spectrum of of where you want

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Speaker 2: to be, and you want to get closer to the

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Speaker 2: right hand side, right, you got to you know, take

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Speaker 2: it one step at a time.

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Speaker 4: Right.

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Speaker 2: That's why I keep saying that you're on an upward

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Speaker 2: trajectory and that that's important because you know, you have

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Speaker 2: a lot of time to achieve this farm dream of yours.

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Speaker 2: And I think again, it seems like you're you're on

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Speaker 2: an upper trajectory, and so uh, I would celebrate those

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Speaker 2: those small victories, right, I mean what, there's no real

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Speaker 2: timeline to get any of this stuff done by so

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Speaker 2: you know, I mean, I mean, don't I wouldn't chill

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Speaker 2: out and you know, eat all your mom's food and

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Speaker 2: use all over toilet paper and stuff. That's what I

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Speaker 2: was doing for a little bit. Yeah, you know, don't uh,

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Speaker 2: don't fuck, don't fucking hate yourself over it.

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Speaker 1: Right, I appreciate that. Yeah, those small steps, I think

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Speaker 1: it's Yeah, it's hard where I'm now right where it's

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Speaker 1: like so far gone or so far away. Yeah, like

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Speaker 1: I felt like I lost a lot of stuff over

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Speaker 1: the past couple of years. But yeah, thinking about it

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Speaker 1: more where I'm growing towards where I want to be.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate that. I want to talk to you.

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Speaker 2: You're gonna be like a Disney movie.

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Speaker 1: A Disney movie. I want to be, Like.

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Speaker 4: What would I be?

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Speaker 1: You want to be like a cuddlefish. I want to be.

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Speaker 1: I want to be a cuddlefish. You know, cuddlefish.

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Speaker 2: No, you're a farmer and you have a bunch of whimsical.

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Speaker 1: Underwater as like a cuddle fish making like a forest.

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Speaker 2: Hey, listen, Smelly, listen, Smelly. I I support you in

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Speaker 2: your dream. But the first thing you need to know

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Speaker 2: about being a farmer is that you can't fucking do

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Speaker 2: it underwater.

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Speaker 1: Debatable. You gotta you gotta google some more stuff.

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Speaker 2: There, geck bro if you become the first underwater farmer,

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Speaker 2: I will eat my words. I will personally. I'll tell

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Speaker 2: you this. If you become the first underwater farmer. I

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Speaker 2: will grow gills and live in a cage in your

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Speaker 2: farm underwater.

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Speaker 1: That's my deal to you, bes give me five years.

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Speaker 2: There we go. All right, you're you're leaving, You're You're

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Speaker 2: It sounds to me as though you were leaving this

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Speaker 2: phone call slightly motivated to start up, to achieve your

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Speaker 2: goals for the purpose of enslaving me underwater. And that

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Speaker 2: makes me happy to hear.

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Speaker 1: I would dare say, highly motivated.

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Speaker 2: Well, smell, Is there anything else you want to say

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Speaker 2: to the people of the computer before we go?

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Speaker 1: Are you coming to Minnesota?

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Speaker 2: Am I coming to Minnesota? Where the fuck is Minnesota?

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Speaker 2: What's the biggest city in the Midwest?

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Speaker 1: Jonasville? It's Jonasville.

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Speaker 2: Is Minneapolis in Minnesota? Or is Minneapolis somewhere else?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Minneapolis, the twin cities Minneapolis and Paul Minneapolis.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I think I'm coming to Minneapolis and the I

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Speaker 2: don't want to promise you. I think I'm coming now,

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Speaker 2: but not in part one, but in part two of

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Speaker 2: like somewhere in the Fall.

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Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, they'd be dope, I do.

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Speaker 2: I'll come. Well, here's the thing, I'll come I'll come

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Speaker 2: at some point to check out the the underwater farm.

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Speaker 2: I guess it's in aqua. Wait, hold on, is an

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Speaker 2: aquarium is kind of an underwater farm, isn't it. You

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Speaker 2: can start an aquarium.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, you said I'm gonna be the first one

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Speaker 1: to do it. So I'm gonna I'm gonna let you

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Speaker 1: know when I get it. But yeah, maybe already a thing.

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Speaker 1: So maybe I'm just piggy backing off someone else. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. The aquarium guys.

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Speaker 2: Aquarium guys.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, gek, I'll give a wonderful twenty twenty four.

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Speaker 2: I love you, bye, smelly. Hello, Hi there, what's your name?

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Speaker 5: Hi?

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Speaker 7: Kate?

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Speaker 2: Kate? What's going on? How's being a How's being a

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Speaker 2: human being on the earth?

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Speaker 7: So I was in this like year long relationship where

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Speaker 7: the guy like really screwed me over, like he cheated

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Speaker 7: on me and lied to me and just kind of

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Speaker 7: like strung me along. And it even started, actually the

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Speaker 7: whole relationship started. And I'll regret this forever, but the

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Speaker 7: relationship kind of even started with him cheating on his

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Speaker 7: ex girlfriend with me.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, So.

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Speaker 7: I mean I will regret this literally to the day.

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Speaker 7: And I but like I was like stupid, and I

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Speaker 7: was like, oh, that's because I'm special and she sucks

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Speaker 7: blah blah blah. Sure, but obviously he like immediately tried

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Speaker 7: to attend between me. It lasted for like a year

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Speaker 7: and then we broke up. But ever since then, I've

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Speaker 7: kind of been like stalking him and harassing him because

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Speaker 7: I'm so angry. Like I'll threaten to show about his work,

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Speaker 7: and like sometimes I do, I go to his house,

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Speaker 7: I like st'll block my number and I was like

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Speaker 7: make new numbers, and I feel like I'm so angry.

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Speaker 7: I'm just so angry. Okay, I'm like trying to get even.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Uh Well, I mean what I'll tell you about

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Speaker 2: this is that I mean, you already know that you

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Speaker 2: shouldn't be doing this, and I think, I guess you're

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Speaker 2: calling me for further validation of that. But I guess

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Speaker 2: let's talk real quick about how everything you're doing is.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna actually explain, like the perspective you got to

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Speaker 2: have on this is that you doing all these things

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Speaker 2: is not you getting even. It's actually the opposite. It's

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Speaker 2: actually getting it's actually just making life worse for you. You

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Speaker 2: know what I mean.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, no, I completely agree.

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Speaker 8: It is make life worse for me.

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Speaker 7: But it's like it's like this obsession that I can't

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Speaker 7: let go of, like to the He's also like it's

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Speaker 7: like it's like an obsession of like with getting like

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Speaker 7: like I will stop talking him for a week and

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Speaker 7: like leave him alone, and then like this anger bubbles

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Speaker 7: up in me and I'm like I can't believe he

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Speaker 7: did all the things to me. And then I'm like

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Speaker 7: I have to like ruin his day, and then I

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Speaker 7: will like go out.

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Speaker 2: Yeah sure, no, no, no, yeah, you get yeah no, but

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Speaker 2: but but what's your name again?

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Speaker 1: Ok?

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Speaker 2: Kate? But Kate again? Do you do you understand why

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Speaker 2: you know, spending any amount of your valuable uh lifetime,

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Speaker 2: uh harassing this guy is stalking this guy uh like bathing,

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Speaker 2: it's I mean, it's masturbatory, it's it's it's just indulging

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Speaker 2: in your anger and and that indulging making your life worse.

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Speaker 2: You know, it's like a drug. It's like you're like

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Speaker 2: you're like you're like succumbing yourself to to the adrenaline

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Speaker 2: of this really intense emotion. And I understand why you're

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Speaker 2: you know, I look I'm telling you to just stop.

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Speaker 2: But you know, yes, this is a a a that's

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Speaker 2: that's that's the I guess quote complication of it. But

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Speaker 2: you know, you have to find a way to exert

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Speaker 2: some kind of I mean some kind of mindfulness, right,

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Speaker 2: some ability to when your anger is popping off, the

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Speaker 2: ability to look at it and go, okay, I'm because

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Speaker 2: you got You have your animal self that's that's rash

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00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:36,359
Speaker 2: and emotional and makes poor decisions in the heat of

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Speaker 2: the moment because it only knows the present. And then

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Speaker 2: you have your higher human brain that can recognize when

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Speaker 2: you're having negative thoughts that are going to lead to

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Speaker 2: bad things for you, and you are are endowed as

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Speaker 2: a human being with the ability to recognize those thoughts

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Speaker 2: and put leisha on them and go, I'm not going

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Speaker 2: to indulge in this today because I'm using my higher

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Speaker 2: human brain to understand that this is just going to

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Speaker 2: make my life worse and then I'm not going to

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Speaker 2: be able to move on if I keep indulging. And

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Speaker 2: you know, it's a hard thing. There's a lot of

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Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, gaining a mastery over your mind

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Speaker 2: and your emotions is a lifelong journey. And I'm not

349
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Speaker 2: there for sure, but you know, I mean that's what

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Speaker 2: you gotta do.

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Speaker 7: I know it's kind of true, like I do. I

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Speaker 7: honestly feel like a wild animal, like when I'm doing it,

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Speaker 7: like I lose all control and I'm just like obsessed

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Speaker 7: with the revenge. But I know it's like if I

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Speaker 7: had just dropped this a year ago, then I would

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Speaker 7: have spent the last year like living my life and

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Speaker 7: I wouldn't have spent every single day obsessed with it.

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Speaker 7: Every time I do it does it's just like it

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Speaker 7: just feels like it feels like a true addiction. Like

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Speaker 7: I almost feel like I'm going through like withdrawal when

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Speaker 7: I'm not doing it, because I'm like three forty. Then

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Speaker 7: I'm like i have to go like shake up the

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Speaker 7: situation somehow and like cause because otherwise I'm just sitting

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Speaker 7: here and I feel like a like a loser like

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Speaker 7: I lost.

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Speaker 2: I was. You know, recently, I was very very mad

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Speaker 2: at someone and I would find myself in my and

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Speaker 2: it was taking over my brain. It was really taking

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Speaker 2: up valuable space in my brain. I was I was furious,

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Speaker 2: and I would find myself in my car or alone.

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Speaker 2: I'd find myself like yelling at them, like to me,

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Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, Like I would like be

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Speaker 2: alone screaming at this person, just like letting it all out.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like just just indulging in the feelings, not

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Speaker 2: actually screaming that, but like, you know, being just like

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Speaker 2: yelling in my car, like being pissed off, and it

377
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Speaker 2: just it just took away valuable space that my brain

378
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Speaker 2: could have used for better thoughts and ideas and whatnot.

379
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Speaker 2: And every time time I would get those things would

380
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,000
Speaker 2: bubble up and I get angry at it, I'd have

381
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Speaker 2: to fucking wrangle it and I'd have to be like, dude,

382
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Speaker 2: you're you're just indulging in your anger and it's extremely

383
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Speaker 2: unproductive and it's it's ruining your your days and it's

384
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Speaker 2: not good. So you know, you can't control you know,

385
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,480
Speaker 2: the events of what of what happened to you, what

386
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,560
Speaker 2: this guy did and whatnot. But you you, you you

387
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,760
Speaker 2: got to take you got to understand your power and

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Speaker 2: in letting those thoughts get to you or deciding not to,

389
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Speaker 2: and then you're gonna move on with your life.

390
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Speaker 7: Yeah, I guess it's just like mindfulness and like, no,

391
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Speaker 7: I mean it's just like a constant like I have

392
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Speaker 7: to constantly like stay on top of like not the

393
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Speaker 7: coming to these like really intense outbursts.

394
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Speaker 2: Or you could kill him. No, don't do that, Kate.

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Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the

396
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Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go?

397
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Speaker 7: Uh?

398
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Speaker 2: Who the fuck is that?

399
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Speaker 7: Sorry that my sister is listening to me. She thought

400
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,280
Speaker 7: she was your biggest friend, and she wants to.

401
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:16,480
Speaker 2: Say high, that's what Hi, file, Hey, what's up? What's

402
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:17,880
Speaker 2: your what's how's life?

403
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:23,800
Speaker 3: It's not ideal, but I know you have like other callers,

404
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 3: I just wanted to say, I am one of your

405
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:27,120
Speaker 3: biggest bands.

406
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Speaker 2: Thank you. It's so nice.

407
00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:30,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're you're.

408
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,639
Speaker 3: Really doing God's work. So thank you and I love you.

409
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Speaker 3: And we're gonna come try and see one of your shows.

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Speaker 9: We don't know yet. I still look at Bliss because

411
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:44,679
Speaker 9: I didn't even know until.

412
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 3: I didn't know you guys. I didn't know you were

413
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 3: doing another.

414
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:51,399
Speaker 9: Tour until this podcast or whatever like this stream.

415
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Speaker 2: I gotta go, sweet, what's your name?

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Speaker 4: Uh?

417
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 2: You are are are very nice to meet you and

418
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,359
Speaker 2: tell your sister to hang in there.

419
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:07,960
Speaker 8: Yeah, yeah I will.

420
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 3: She does like a lot of stuff she didn't say that.

421
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna say, but the guys like we have

422
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:14,840
Speaker 3: a lot of stuff. He did that.

423
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,960
Speaker 2: I'm sure, but I'm sure. But but but this is

424
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 2: this is about you know, yeah, I don't know.

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00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 3: Well our everything you said made sense?

426
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:27,560
Speaker 2: Okay?

427
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:27,840
Speaker 4: Good?

428
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,440
Speaker 2: Good? Or is there anything else you want to say

429
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:32,679
Speaker 2: to the people of the computer before we go?

430
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:40,640
Speaker 9: Yeah, everyone out there who's depressed and struggling right now, Uh,

431
00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,200
Speaker 9: keep keep on going and maybe these things will get

432
00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:44,840
Speaker 9: better one day.

433
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Speaker 2: I don't know, I do this is not a good

434
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,159
Speaker 2: thing to say, but I just I just thought about it.

435
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,199
Speaker 2: I was really today. I was thinking like if I

436
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 2: were dead, I wouldn't have to do anything, and that

437
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 2: would be kind of nice.

438
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Speaker 9: I think about that every day.

439
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:01,800
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do anything. All right,

440
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:04,920
Speaker 2: I'm not good. I don't think. I don't think that's good.

441
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:09,919
Speaker 2: I think it's good to do stuff. I think being

442
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:12,760
Speaker 2: dead and not doing anything is one of those things

443
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:16,040
Speaker 2: that sounds nice, but when you get there, it's bad.

444
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,159
Speaker 2: But I did indulge in that thought for up and

445
00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 2: for two seconds. But now I'm we're good.

446
00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,560
Speaker 3: So okay, Well, if you ever want to drink the

447
00:25:25,600 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 3: kool aid with me just but.

448
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:31,120
Speaker 2: You know, I'm glad to know that that that that

449
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 2: plan sees is on the table. Are thank you, Okay, you.

450
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 3: Have a beautiful, wonderful and amazing evening at you as well.

451
00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 7: I eventually I'll see you at yourself beautiful.

452
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:48,920
Speaker 2: Take care, guys, Thank you, Bye, what's up? Chat? Imagine

453
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,360
Speaker 2: your therapist saying that I have to say it. I can't.

454
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:53,679
Speaker 2: I just thought I can't. I'm not gonna I'm not

455
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 2: gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. I'm not

456
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,040
Speaker 2: gonna lie. I'm not gonna get up here and I'm

457
00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:01,400
Speaker 2: not gonna look into the camera and go everyone who's

458
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 2: struggling out there. I know I'm not gonna do it. It's

459
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 2: not who I am. Who I am is I think

460
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 2: i'm It just would be easier to be dead. That's

461
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 2: not the invitation to kill yourself. It's not you shouldn't

462
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:20,800
Speaker 2: kill yourself. But it's it's just the thought that comes

463
00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:25,119
Speaker 2: into my head. And it is true. It's it is

464
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:29,800
Speaker 2: one hundreds factual. It is factual that it is easier

465
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,119
Speaker 2: to be dead than alive. But just because something is

466
00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:36,439
Speaker 2: easier doesn't mean that's the right route. Often though, the

467
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:40,640
Speaker 2: harder route is the more is usually the better one.

468
00:26:42,800 --> 00:26:47,280
Speaker 2: So take the hard routes and don't kill yourself, you know,

469
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,320
Speaker 2: all right? Whatever?

470
00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 1: All from damn?

471
00:26:54,359 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 2: Hello? Hey, while what's up? Dude?

472
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:04,360
Speaker 4: Hey, So I wanted to talk about a worry I've

473
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:05,720
Speaker 4: been having about moving out.

474
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 2: Yeah please, Okay?

475
00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:12,639
Speaker 4: So I so right now, I live with my mom

476
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 4: and I take very large pops, and I clogged the

477
00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 4: toilet all the time. And I don't know, I can't

478
00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 4: afford to move out by myself. But if I move

479
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 4: in with somebody, I don't think that would work out.

480
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:35,560
Speaker 4: You know what I mean, dude?

481
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 2: I literally I had all. I had a horribly embarrassing

482
00:27:40,600 --> 00:27:47,679
Speaker 2: I am a cereal toilet clogger and for and for

483
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:49,320
Speaker 2: and I don't I don't know how you how you

484
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 2: feel about this, But for a long time I lived

485
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:57,679
Speaker 2: in a state of denial where I thought that it

486
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 2: was the toilets.

487
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:01,800
Speaker 4: No, I've clogged too many.

488
00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:08,439
Speaker 2: I've clogged too many. I've clogged toilets in every US state. No,

489
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 2: that's not true. Everyone that I've been to I've clogged

490
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 2: a toilet in I was living. I was recently, I

491
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,199
Speaker 2: I did a little move and and and like in

492
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,719
Speaker 2: between my my move, I was living at my parents'

493
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:26,320
Speaker 2: house again for like a few weeks, and I had

494
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 2: clogged my toilet in my room, and so I went

495
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 2: downstairs to use the other toilet, the toilet in the

496
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 2: in the living room, like the main toilet, and I

497
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 2: fucking clogged that one. They're both clogged. And then like

498
00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:48,560
Speaker 2: I'm like hanging out of my room and my mom

499
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 2: knocks on my door and she's like, you fucking clogged

500
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 2: the She's nicer about it. She asked me if I

501
00:28:57,280 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 2: you know if well she was like she she told me,

502
00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:04,880
Speaker 2: she said, is your toilet clogged and the downstairs toilet clogged?

503
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 2: Because you only use the downstairs toilet when your toilet

504
00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,080
Speaker 2: is clogged. I'm like fuck and I'm and I'm you know,

505
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:17,040
Speaker 2: I've been all over the world. I have like thousands

506
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 2: of people who listen to fucking call me for advice

507
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:26,360
Speaker 2: about fucking life. And I'm in my room in my

508
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 2: underwear talking to with my mom yelling at me for

509
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,880
Speaker 2: clogging every fucking toilet in my house. Like it was

510
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 2: just where I was like, what the fuck am I doing?

511
00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:40,000
Speaker 4: Yeah? There is okay. So I was at a hospital,

512
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:45,280
Speaker 4: and I saw there were blades in the toilet, and

513
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 4: I'm thinking that if that's because if it clogs, they

514
00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 4: can like shread it like a blender. Yeah, so I

515
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:54,640
Speaker 4: don't know if you can.

516
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: Buy that, that would be No. I want to keep

517
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 2: one in my back. I'm gonna use it for every toilet.

518
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 4: Dude.

519
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:04,520
Speaker 2: You know what I love is and you'll you'll appreciate

520
00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 2: this is I love a I love a industrial commercial toilet. Yeah,

521
00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 2: you know what I'm talking You know what I'm talking

522
00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:19,680
Speaker 2: about right like where where Like if you like, every

523
00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,520
Speaker 2: time I go to my grandma's house, I clog the

524
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:24,200
Speaker 2: toilet because if you're like a grandma or like like

525
00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 2: like residential toilets like old toilets, they clog so easily.

526
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:31,640
Speaker 2: But if you go to the but you I will

527
00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:35,440
Speaker 2: never clog the toilet at an airport because they all

528
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,480
Speaker 2: have like the industrial like you know, really like the

529
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 2: water pressure is good. You know what I'm talking about. Yeah, Yeah,

530
00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:44,680
Speaker 2: I love those toilets. They're great. They make me feel

531
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 2: like a real human being.

532
00:30:46,760 --> 00:30:49,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I had. I had one time I was at

533
00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:52,440
Speaker 4: a we were driving home and I was we stopped

534
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 4: in like the small town. There's like a chevron, and

535
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,840
Speaker 4: it's like a super small gas station, like the like

536
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:05,360
Speaker 4: the bathroom doors like behind the clerk's counter. And I

537
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 4: went in and I took a giant shit and clogged it.

538
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 4: And then when I came out, there was like a

539
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:15,520
Speaker 4: line of like three or four people to go off parade.

540
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:19,480
Speaker 2: You bro, you just skip out? Yeah, that wasn't me.

541
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:22,600
Speaker 2: What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?

542
00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 2: You can't announce, you can't. You cannot just leave and

543
00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:31,880
Speaker 2: be and just be like folks, I have an announcements. No,

544
00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:33,280
Speaker 2: I have clogged tolet What.

545
00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 4: Are you gonna do?

546
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:34,160
Speaker 5: Just leave?

547
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 2: You can't take responsibility?

548
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know what. I wonder if they like

549
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 4: actually went though or they just they left. I like

550
00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,200
Speaker 4: to think that they also sucks wrong with it?

551
00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 2: How old are you?

552
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:50,240
Speaker 4: I'm twenty six?

553
00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 2: I'm twenty six? Oh what the fuck is wrong with us?

554
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 4: I don't know. Might have been something about when we

555
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 4: were born. I'm sorry, brand and they don't seem to

556
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:01,560
Speaker 4: have this problem.

557
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:06,200
Speaker 2: I'm so happy. I damn, I'm so happy to be

558
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:07,959
Speaker 2: talking to you. Sam. This is great. This is therapy

559
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 2: for me.

560
00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's because I don't I don't know anybody else.

561
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:15,720
Speaker 4: And then people say like, oh, it's it's the toilet pap.

562
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,080
Speaker 4: You use too much toilet paper. But like, if I

563
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,280
Speaker 4: know it's a big ship, I will flush before I

564
00:32:20,320 --> 00:32:22,920
Speaker 4: wife just so I has better chances of going down

565
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 4: and it it won't go down.

566
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,320
Speaker 2: Oh, here's the thing. And I was like, Okay, I

567
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,320
Speaker 2: don't know what the appropriate amount of toilet paper is

568
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 2: because I like a big clump, right, because apparently you're

569
00:32:32,160 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 2: only supposed to use like two squares. But what but

570
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 2: if I use two squares of toilet paper, I just

571
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,680
Speaker 2: get a bunch of shit on my hands. That's not

572
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 2: enough to cover my fingers, and now I have shit fingers.

573
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,040
Speaker 2: And then I here's the bathroom, I wash my hand,

574
00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 2: and I'm just walking around with like shit on my fingers.

575
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 2: So I don't know. I guess everybody else is just

576
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 2: is just digging their fucking hands and their asses because

577
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 2: they don't want to, because they want to seem like

578
00:32:55,520 --> 00:32:57,760
Speaker 2: they're better than us, because they don't clog the toilets.

579
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't know what. It's not a

580
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 4: very proper thing. Just wipe your ass however you want

581
00:33:05,560 --> 00:33:05,920
Speaker 4: to do it.

582
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 2: So are you going to put it out?

583
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:12,920
Speaker 4: I don't know. Well, that's what I'm actually worried. So

584
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 4: I'm I was actually because I don't know what to do,

585
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,920
Speaker 4: Like this isn't even a joke. I was actually thinking

586
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 4: like maybe I could get used to just like putting

587
00:33:24,120 --> 00:33:27,040
Speaker 4: a glove on and like mashing it up, but I

588
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,160
Speaker 4: don't want to do that like as a regular thing.

589
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:34,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

590
00:33:34,400 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I have I have a video and it's

591
00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 4: I'm not kidding. I have a shit that's like two

592
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 4: feet long. It goes from like the the it's out

593
00:33:45,920 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 4: of the water up to like the lip of the

594
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 4: toilet bowl, and then it's back down, disappearing through the

595
00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:56,760
Speaker 4: bottom of the toilet. So I don't even know how

596
00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 4: long it actually was. And I wush it and it

597
00:34:00,680 --> 00:34:01,560
Speaker 4: doesn't even budge.

598
00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 2: Oh, so your problem is not the toilet paper, man,

599
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,080
Speaker 2: Your problem is you actually are taking toilet cloth.

600
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 4: No, it just looks like an animal, Like if I

601
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 4: thought I wouldn't nobody would think it was a human.

602
00:34:13,920 --> 00:34:15,880
Speaker 2: That's crazy, man. Have you been to a doctor about this?

603
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 4: No, I do have a story about I thought I

604
00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:26,320
Speaker 4: had a tape form once and I showed the doctor

605
00:34:27,040 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 4: and he's like that's a bean sprout. So I was

606
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 4: just at the doctor for no reason, showing him a

607
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 4: bean sprout that came out of my ass.

608
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:41,080
Speaker 2: That's cool. I like that story. So I I, you

609
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 2: were talking to me and you said you clean to

610
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:45,239
Speaker 2: What happened within this call is you were talking to

611
00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 2: me about something, and then I used it as an

612
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,399
Speaker 2: opportunity to talk about my own toilet clogging problems because

613
00:34:50,440 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 2: I was excited to find tape to somebody about clogging

614
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 2: a toilet. And I've lost track. You're trying to move out,

615
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 2: but you're afraid to move out because you're preaking to

616
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,839
Speaker 2: clog the toilet. What's going on?

617
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 4: Yeah? I don't know. I just don't know what the

618
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,680
Speaker 4: salute because there's no way other people would be cool

619
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 4: with that.

620
00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, getting room once you live alone? Can

621
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:11,520
Speaker 2: you can? You can?

622
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:11,600
Speaker 5: You?

623
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,280
Speaker 4: I live in California and I'm not I don't.

624
00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 2: Make that yeah yeah no, yeah yeah.

625
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:20,759
Speaker 4: So like I would need I would need to just

626
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:25,840
Speaker 4: rent a room, and it's kind of like I can't

627
00:35:25,840 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 4: really kind of it's not urgent, but I have to

628
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:30,160
Speaker 4: kind of move out soon.

629
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 10: So I got an idea, why don't you find a

630
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 10: way to, can you Why don't you start like an

631
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,200
Speaker 10: OnlyFans or something like find a way to monetize.

632
00:35:46,200 --> 00:35:48,640
Speaker 4: That actually would that would probably work.

633
00:35:49,520 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 2: No, it wouldn't. It wouldn't work at all.

634
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,359
Speaker 4: I don't think that would work either.

635
00:35:54,239 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 2: So then do it. Please please be my be my guy.

636
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 2: But please, if you can do that, I'm quitting this

637
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 2: fucking podcast. I'm gonna go do that. That sounds great.

638
00:36:04,040 --> 00:36:05,360
Speaker 4: We can start a fan site.

639
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I like that idea. But that's that's that's I'm sorry,

640
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:13,440
Speaker 2: that's that's the extent of I think. How how I

641
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,480
Speaker 2: would solve this problem? What what I usually do? What

642
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,840
Speaker 2: I would do is I would just get my roommates

643
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 2: a e my mom get mad at me, and I, uh,

644
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:26,719
Speaker 2: you know, deal with the I just I just let

645
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:30,120
Speaker 2: the shame hit me like a fucking stack of bricks

646
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 2: and then you know it won't kill you. You just

647
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:35,800
Speaker 2: gotta take it. You just gotta take.

648
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:41,240
Speaker 4: I feel like they would they'd probably make me leave.

649
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,479
Speaker 2: How they gonna all right, good luck in the fucking rent.

650
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 4: Well, they could just find another normal shitting person.

651
00:36:53,520 --> 00:36:54,840
Speaker 2: How are they gonna do that? You have there on

652
00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 2: your on the lease, aren't you put put it put

653
00:36:57,600 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 2: it in the lease that you make sure make sure

654
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:01,480
Speaker 2: that it's in the least that you're allowed to clog

655
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:04,200
Speaker 2: the toilet as much as you want. Sneak out in ever,

656
00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:07,200
Speaker 2: no one's looking. Okay, what's your name again?

657
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:09,640
Speaker 4: Sam?

658
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:12,560
Speaker 2: Sam? Sam? This was great? Thanks for thanks. I this

659
00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:16,040
Speaker 2: truly was very therapeutic for me. You've been the therapy

660
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:17,560
Speaker 2: I going to meet on that. I appreciate that.

661
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:21,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, of course it was good to meet somebody else

662
00:37:21,400 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 4: with the same problem.

663
00:37:24,239 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 2: Is there anything else you want to say to the

664
00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:26,640
Speaker 2: people of the computer before we go.

665
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 4: I don't know why not to clog the toilet, I guess,

666
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,800
Speaker 4: or I guess they could. Uh well, I don't know

667
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:41,880
Speaker 4: how they'd let me out they find a solution, I

668
00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 4: don't know. Keep watching GEK. Thank you, good advice.

669
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 2: Take care all right, take care bye. We did it

670
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 2: eleven minutes on clogging toilets whatever. I don't Okay, that's

671
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 2: the truth, that whole story of clogging every toilet in

672
00:37:58,160 --> 00:38:02,680
Speaker 2: my fucking parents house. That's my life. That's real. It's

673
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:10,200
Speaker 2: not cool. Call from Luke Hello, Hello, Uh, what's up? Luke?

674
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:10,759
Speaker 2: Has it gone?

675
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:15,760
Speaker 5: Not much? Man, I'm just chilling. I got off from

676
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 5: break from college and sorry, I'm a little nervous right now.

677
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 5: I didn't actually think it would go through it is. Yeah,

678
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,359
Speaker 5: I'm just calling about I've had a little bit of

679
00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:32,239
Speaker 5: like struggles these past few years in terms of, like

680
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 5: I don't know, just kind of like realizing what I

681
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:39,120
Speaker 5: want to be, what I want to do in things

682
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 5: that I don't want to be. And I don't know.

683
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:45,040
Speaker 5: That's kind of what I wanted to call about.

684
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:49,480
Speaker 2: Well, do you have anything in regards to that that

685
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:50,440
Speaker 2: you want to elaborate on.

686
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:56,719
Speaker 5: I would just say, like, I don't know. I when

687
00:38:56,719 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 5: I was younger, I struggled a lot with like obsessiveness

688
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:06,759
Speaker 5: and gaining obsessed with like different things. And like about

689
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 5: two years ago, I went on a mission strip a

690
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 5: religious trip kind of like being a missionary and such.

691
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:17,240
Speaker 5: And during that time, I was struggling with my faith

692
00:39:18,120 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 5: and everything, and I was just reflecting a lot on

693
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 5: my past family. My dad was a big yeller and

694
00:39:26,360 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 5: some he was kind of abusive in some ways the

695
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 5: way he yelled at people, and I don't know, I

696
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 5: just kind of like, uh, I don't want to be

697
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:36,520
Speaker 5: like that. And at one point during the trip, I

698
00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 5: got so anxious to the point that I like just

699
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:44,600
Speaker 5: just was kind of like questioning who I was. Kind

700
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 5: of like I just became so like perfectionistic. And I

701
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 5: remember watching like this thing called this documentary, you know,

702
00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 5: like like serial killers like John Layne Gacy and all that.

703
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 2: I am familiar with the idea of see real murder.

704
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:07,600
Speaker 5: Sure, yeah, I during this whole trip, I was like

705
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:11,160
Speaker 5: trying to be perfect and everything and all that, and

706
00:40:11,200 --> 00:40:14,600
Speaker 5: I was like questioning everything, and I don't know, I

707
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:18,719
Speaker 5: like watch the documentary on Netflix about that, and like

708
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:19,480
Speaker 5: it was weird.

709
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 2: Are you about to say that you were questioning what

710
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:25,319
Speaker 2: to do with your life and you saw a bunch

711
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 2: of guys kill and eat people and you were like, no,

712
00:40:29,040 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 2: maybe I should kill and eat people would be a

713
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 2: good life path. It worked out for those guys. I

714
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 2: was talking with someone the other day about how I'm

715
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 2: you know, I just from the perspective of a murderer.

716
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:46,680
Speaker 2: I bet. I bet if it's like your favorite thing

717
00:40:46,719 --> 00:40:48,239
Speaker 2: to do, I bet if you really like it, if

718
00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:52,439
Speaker 2: you were like John what's his name, Jeffrey Dahmer, John

719
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:56,759
Speaker 2: Wayn Gacy, Jeffrey Dahmer, I bet if that's your thing,

720
00:40:57,840 --> 00:41:00,600
Speaker 2: then like doing it, killing and eating a person. It

721
00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 2: probably it probably is awesome if it's your favorite thing,

722
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.

723
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:10,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, it kind of sounds like it. I guess, like, uh,

724
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,920
Speaker 5: I don't know. I was just thinking about it. And

725
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,760
Speaker 5: when I was watching it, like typically over my trip,

726
00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:17,440
Speaker 5: I was trying to like I was obsessed with this

727
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:21,200
Speaker 5: thing called do you know MBTI is like personality types.

728
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:24,120
Speaker 2: And all that, Oh yeah, sure, sure yeah, And I.

729
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:26,319
Speaker 5: Was like obsessed with this idea of being this like

730
00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,319
Speaker 5: really good person. I remember like on the test, I

731
00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 5: like I like took it and I didn't really have

732
00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,320
Speaker 5: them in too many close friends in high school, but

733
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 5: I remember like, oh, I got the guy who was

734
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,839
Speaker 5: the protagonist, the guy who always wants does the great thing.

735
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:43,760
Speaker 5: But I got on my trip and I wasn't really

736
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:45,960
Speaker 5: that I had a lot of problems with like the

737
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:48,920
Speaker 5: instructors and X, Y and Z, and I was like

738
00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:52,759
Speaker 5: so obsessively like bringing down myself if I messed up.

739
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 5: And I guess I watched it and I saw like

740
00:41:56,760 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 5: John Wayne Gacy struggle with like his sexuality as a kid.

741
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:01,080
Speaker 6: Mm hmm.

742
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 5: And I don't know, I just like some of the things,

743
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 5: like I remember it said that he would like put

744
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 5: on like women's gorments. Is like whenever he was nine

745
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 5: and I whenever I struggle with my sexuality, I like

746
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:20,200
Speaker 5: did that, and it just like was so weird because

747
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 5: he was like a very outgoing, like he took control

748
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 5: of things, and I thought of myself in that kind

749
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:26,319
Speaker 5: of way.

750
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:27,160
Speaker 2: Mm hmm.

751
00:42:27,200 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 5: But whenever I saw him do that, he let himself

752
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 5: into a life that was like he became obsessed with

753
00:42:34,120 --> 00:42:37,680
Speaker 5: power and then having power over other people, and that

754
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 5: got to a point like sexually where he wanted to

755
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:43,400
Speaker 5: like kill people, kill young men. I've never felt that

756
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:46,040
Speaker 5: way ever, That's what I think.

757
00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,640
Speaker 2: So you're telling me you were like, uh, okay, John

758
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:52,280
Speaker 2: Wayne Gay Sam with you on the wearing women's clothing.

759
00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 2: I'm with you on being confused and my sexuality, but

760
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 2: the killing and eating people, I'm not on board with.

761
00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:03,319
Speaker 2: That's the part where you see, Yeah, that's where it was.

762
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:07,560
Speaker 5: Yeah, I hope so. But during the trip I was

763
00:43:07,600 --> 00:43:09,799
Speaker 5: just like so freaked out. And it's not really something

764
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:12,920
Speaker 5: I think that much about anymore, but because I like

765
00:43:13,160 --> 00:43:16,239
Speaker 5: had to like really repress it and stop thinking about it,

766
00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,120
Speaker 5: I remember, like later on the trip out like pray

767
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 5: out to Jesus. And I know not that many people

768
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 5: on the podcast probably like vibe.

769
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:27,399
Speaker 2: Or I don't know, I can vibe, but no fire,

770
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:30,400
Speaker 2: fuck fuck those people. Let's vibe with Jesus.

771
00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't know. I just kind of like it

772
00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 5: was something where I had to like pray out that,

773
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 5: like because I would get like thoughts that would in

774
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:41,040
Speaker 5: truth because I had never thought about this kind of

775
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:42,439
Speaker 5: thing ever in my entire life.

776
00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,160
Speaker 2: But what are you talking? Hold on? Hold on? I'm lost?

777
00:43:45,160 --> 00:43:47,480
Speaker 2: Are you? Are you just talking about being gay? Or

778
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 2: are you talking about killing people?

779
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:51,360
Speaker 5: Uh?

780
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:51,719
Speaker 4: Not?

781
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,360
Speaker 5: Kind of just like thoughts of me becoming a person

782
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 5: who was like that, not even.

783
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 2: That hold on, that is not an answer to my

784
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:00,240
Speaker 2: question at all.

785
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:04,480
Speaker 5: Oh just okay, So like not the not really the

786
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:08,359
Speaker 5: kind of the gate thing, but also like also just

787
00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:11,959
Speaker 5: like whenever I watched it, I saw someone.

788
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 2: Hold on, are you talking about being gay or killing people?

789
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:20,200
Speaker 5: I mean I would I would say, like killing people,

790
00:44:20,239 --> 00:44:23,720
Speaker 5: but it's not something that I've necessarily like personally thought about,

791
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 5: but it's something I've feared that possibly I would become

792
00:44:28,840 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 5: something like that.

793
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, sure, sure, how old are you?

794
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 5: I'm twenty?

795
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:38,880
Speaker 2: Okay, have you ever had the urge to kill.

796
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,279
Speaker 5: No, I don't think I have. Like I've played a

797
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 5: lot of sports where I've like played football and like

798
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:49,920
Speaker 5: that was fun and whatever, but no, I haven't. I

799
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:51,400
Speaker 5: would definitely say.

800
00:44:51,280 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 2: Not, Okay, Luke, you seem like a nice guy. I'm

801
00:45:00,560 --> 00:45:04,239
Speaker 2: so sorry. I've been talking about killing so much. I

802
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:07,239
Speaker 2: feel like I've lost track of where exactly we are

803
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,319
Speaker 2: with this issue.

804
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,839
Speaker 5: I would just say, it's like, I don't know, it's

805
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 5: just something to talk about. And whenever I like is

806
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 5: it's something that I've talked about before to other people,

807
00:45:20,280 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 5: and it's always something that's like I have to always clarify. No,

808
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:29,279
Speaker 5: I don't actually think like that, but my own it's

809
00:45:29,320 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 5: hard to even talk about. Like you were trying to

810
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 5: stop me and saying, like, oh, being gay or killing people.

811
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 5: But it wasn't really like whenever I think back, it

812
00:45:38,480 --> 00:45:41,640
Speaker 5: was more just like I related to those things and

813
00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:44,759
Speaker 5: I was already so obsessed with being something and I

814
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:46,800
Speaker 5: would look at other people and I would want to

815
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 5: become something that I necessarily wasn't. But once I saw

816
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:54,399
Speaker 5: those traits and someone else that I want to.

817
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 2: You know what I think, Luke, I think I just

818
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:59,719
Speaker 2: think you. I just think, listen the universe of men

819
00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:04,160
Speaker 2: where women's clothing. Uh, there's a whole universe of it.

820
00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:08,279
Speaker 2: There's there's there's like RuPaul's drag race and whatnot. I

821
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,239
Speaker 2: guess what I'm trying to say to you is that

822
00:46:10,400 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 2: if you need a a role model of some kind

823
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,239
Speaker 2: or somebody to look at to, you know, compare your

824
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,399
Speaker 2: own life to just to make some sense of it,

825
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:22,920
Speaker 2: you can probably find somebody better than John Wayne Gacy.

826
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:23,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

827
00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:25,120
Speaker 5: Probably he was a.

828
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 4: He was a psychopath.

829
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:28,600
Speaker 5: He was an evil man.

830
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:32,000
Speaker 2: So you know, I'm sure that there are people who

831
00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:35,120
Speaker 2: have had similar life experiences as you that have not

832
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:39,879
Speaker 2: gone on to kill people. So don't I would, don't.

833
00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:41,160
Speaker 2: Don't freak out.

834
00:46:42,320 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 5: I appreciate that. I appreciate that a lot is even

835
00:46:45,360 --> 00:46:48,040
Speaker 5: talking about it. It's like I've talked about it before,

836
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 5: and anytime someone hears that, I was like, I'm always

837
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 5: afraid of talking about it because like as soon as

838
00:46:54,239 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 5: I say that, they think, oh, this guy has taught

839
00:46:56,560 --> 00:46:57,720
Speaker 5: about doing this to people.

840
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:02,040
Speaker 2: Just get some one new get Just find a different

841
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:08,640
Speaker 2: person than John Wayne Gacy. He's I don't think. I

842
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:13,279
Speaker 2: don't think that the drag community are like, are are

843
00:47:13,360 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 2: John Wayne Gacy? I don't think that they claim him?

844
00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 5: Yeah, that makes that would make a lot of sense,

845
00:47:21,920 --> 00:47:25,120
Speaker 5: since you know he he killed a Nate Boys.

846
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:28,800
Speaker 2: He did kill an Eat Boys, which tends to people

847
00:47:28,800 --> 00:47:35,560
Speaker 2: frowned upon that. What's your name again, I'm Luke Luke. Well, Luke,

848
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:39,000
Speaker 2: did do you feel like this was a productive conversation?

849
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:42,560
Speaker 5: Yeah? I would say it definitely was. It puts things

850
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:45,880
Speaker 5: into more perspectives, puts things into just thinking about like,

851
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 5: you know, I think I've been so obsessed on her

852
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:51,960
Speaker 5: the idea of not being something, but I think what

853
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 5: you're like, what you're saying makes sense logically where it's like,

854
00:47:55,520 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 5: don't even think about that, just think about like that's

855
00:47:59,120 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 5: not even those two things aren't related. I guess since

856
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:06,200
Speaker 5: that was like the first experience where I like, I don't.

857
00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:09,399
Speaker 2: Know, as you're you're you're you're afraid that you're going

858
00:48:09,440 --> 00:48:12,880
Speaker 2: to start getting urges to do John Wayne Gacy ship.

859
00:48:14,239 --> 00:48:16,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's why I was like afraid that at some

860
00:48:16,239 --> 00:48:19,680
Speaker 5: point that would come upon me. Okay, like as a

861
00:48:19,800 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 5: kid that it was pretty taboo. Like of course I

862
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:26,399
Speaker 5: live in a pretty religious so so like already being

863
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,680
Speaker 5: interested in like I don't know. The ship I was

864
00:48:28,719 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 5: interested in was pretty taboo, so I was just hoping

865
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 5: with God that one point that would never happen.

866
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:42,640
Speaker 2: And yeah, I think I'm gonna end. I'm gonna say

867
00:48:42,640 --> 00:48:50,120
Speaker 2: this to you, Luke. I don't think that all people

868
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 2: who question their sexuality and wear women's clothing turn out

869
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 2: to be serial murderers. Yeah, Luke, is there anything else

870
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:11,960
Speaker 2: that you want to say to the people of the

871
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:13,080
Speaker 2: computer before we go?

872
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:16,880
Speaker 5: Just thank you?

873
00:49:16,920 --> 00:49:18,960
Speaker 2: And that one guy did, but that was that was

874
00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:21,040
Speaker 2: just one guy. That was just one guy. And there's

875
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,440
Speaker 2: also Buffalo Bill. But it doesn't matter. What were you

876
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 2: going to say? People, there's a couple of people, there's

877
00:49:26,360 --> 00:49:28,640
Speaker 2: a couple. You're okay, you're right, there's a couple of them.

878
00:49:28,640 --> 00:49:31,960
Speaker 2: But it's like not it's not even a percentage. It's

879
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 2: like less than one percent. So don't worry about it.

880
00:49:34,560 --> 00:49:35,399
Speaker 2: What were you going to say?

881
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:41,200
Speaker 5: I don't know, Just be happy do whatever. I'm trying

882
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:44,800
Speaker 5: to do my thing, and I hope everyone does does well.

883
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 5: I'm trying to be a scientist one day, so mm hmm.

884
00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,480
Speaker 5: I was just poll a little connections from like different

885
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 5: things and always I don't know, but I appreciate it

886
00:49:56,160 --> 00:49:57,800
Speaker 5: a lot loud, of course.

887
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:03,000
Speaker 2: Take care man, good good luck, good luck, trying not

888
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:09,040
Speaker 2: to develop a lust for blood. Take care of luc

889
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:09,959
Speaker 2: Bye bye.

890
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,319
Speaker 4: Okay.

891
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 2: Someone in the chat just said, does Lyle think Buffalo

892
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,160
Speaker 2: Bill is real? Fuck? Is he not real? He's he's

893
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 2: based off a real person. Whatever I'm I'm gonna, I'm

894
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 2: gonna manifest him as real. Wait, no, that's bad, Okay,

895
00:50:31,719 --> 00:50:39,879
Speaker 2: I won't. I will not manifest Buffalo Bill howl from Hello, Hello, Hi?

896
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:40,400
Speaker 2: Who is this?

897
00:50:40,960 --> 00:50:41,480
Speaker 8: Oh my god?

898
00:50:41,520 --> 00:50:42,160
Speaker 6: This is Rebo.

899
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:44,200
Speaker 2: What's up, Reba? How's life?

900
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:47,480
Speaker 8: Oh my god? You know I'm chilling right now. How

901
00:50:47,520 --> 00:50:47,799
Speaker 8: are you?

902
00:50:48,600 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 2: I'm doing actually pretty okay?

903
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:51,160
Speaker 10: Man?

904
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 2: Is there anything in particular that you wanted to call

905
00:50:54,120 --> 00:50:55,760
Speaker 2: in to talk about today?

906
00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,799
Speaker 8: I wanted to tell you that A big fans for

907
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,440
Speaker 8: a while, and I'm coming to your Albany show.

908
00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 2: Thank you. Oh my Albany show. I didn't even realize

909
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:09,240
Speaker 2: tickets for that were on sale. Yeah that's cool. Nice.

910
00:51:09,320 --> 00:51:12,320
Speaker 8: Yeah, Like, I know you're announcing the show on Friday.

911
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:15,000
Speaker 8: But my friend said to me as like, oh my god,

912
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:16,719
Speaker 8: like no way, and then I was like, nope, I'm

913
00:51:16,719 --> 00:51:18,360
Speaker 8: buying tickets like right now.

914
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:22,080
Speaker 2: Really awesome. Yeah, I've never been to upstate New York before,

915
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:25,920
Speaker 2: so I'm I'm I'll be there. What the fuck? I

916
00:51:25,960 --> 00:51:28,879
Speaker 2: don't know. I hope the show will be better than

917
00:51:29,360 --> 00:51:31,959
Speaker 2: what I just said to you. Well, thanks for coming.

918
00:51:31,960 --> 00:51:34,000
Speaker 2: I'm excited to see you in person. But I guess

919
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 2: before that, you know, we could talk about about about

920
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:44,760
Speaker 2: about anything, man, about anything. What's what's on your brain today?

921
00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 8: Well, I have been contemplating moving out of the country,

922
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:55,160
Speaker 8: so that's exciting kind of. I'm also scared to think

923
00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:58,319
Speaker 8: about it because I've lived in let's say New York

924
00:51:58,400 --> 00:51:59,400
Speaker 8: for all of my life.

925
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:04,200
Speaker 2: Where out of the country are you going to move?

926
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 8: I was thinking about Poland. Where in Poland, probably like

927
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 8: northeastern Poland. There's like a small town where my grandma lives,

928
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 8: and it's like kind of like a summer town, like

929
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:25,480
Speaker 8: a scenic town, so it's like nice, and all my

930
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:29,360
Speaker 8: family lives over there. I lost my parents in twenty

931
00:52:29,360 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 8: twenty one, and I'm an only child and like no

932
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 8: cousins around, so it's like kinda tough. So I'm like

933
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 8: thinking about starting again, but I'm not sure it's like

934
00:52:39,640 --> 00:52:42,320
Speaker 8: I should, especially because I'm not like flut And Polish

935
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,719
Speaker 8: and you know, I've lived I'm like twenty five, so

936
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:48,480
Speaker 8: I've lived here for you know, all my life. So

937
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:50,480
Speaker 8: I don't know, I wanted to get some like advice.

938
00:52:52,160 --> 00:52:55,200
Speaker 2: So you're gonna go to to Poland just by yourself?

939
00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:59,400
Speaker 8: Yeah, you know. And then my friends said that they

940
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:01,080
Speaker 8: would come visit at me and they're playing and have

941
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:03,680
Speaker 8: kids and you know, they can get their dual citizenship

942
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:05,799
Speaker 8: or whatever, and it can be the fun pull the

943
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:07,000
Speaker 8: shot that takes them everywhere.

944
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 5: You know, it could be fun.

945
00:53:09,239 --> 00:53:12,799
Speaker 2: You know, I'm I really I'm being I'm serious. This

946
00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 2: is like, you know, for right now, like and I'm

947
00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,280
Speaker 2: I'm making this about me, but only because I'm relating

948
00:53:19,280 --> 00:53:23,520
Speaker 2: it back, is uh right, well for right now, for

949
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:27,359
Speaker 2: right now, I'm like, you know, if I'm doing I'm

950
00:53:27,360 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 2: doing this gecko thing whatever, I'm like, I'm I want

951
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:33,759
Speaker 2: to live in America. I want to live uh in

952
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 2: New York and and do my thing and and whatever whatever.

953
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:40,520
Speaker 2: But if I weren't doing this, a part of me

954
00:53:40,680 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 2: does think, like, oh it would be I would just

955
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:47,319
Speaker 2: fucking move to like you know, anywhere else. Maybe not move,

956
00:53:47,400 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 2: but like maybe go nomadic for a little bit. I

957
00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:53,880
Speaker 2: don't know. I I The point is, I fantasize all

958
00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:57,800
Speaker 2: the time about moving to you know, Thailand or Japan

959
00:53:58,239 --> 00:54:01,439
Speaker 2: or any Anya and.

960
00:54:01,400 --> 00:54:04,960
Speaker 8: See everywhere and see the world. You know. It's just, uh,

961
00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 8: there's a lot of opportunities out there, but like it's

962
00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:09,440
Speaker 8: scary leaving everything.

963
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:09,480
Speaker 6: That you know.

964
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:13,280
Speaker 2: You know, do you have any money?

965
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 7: Yeah?

966
00:54:13,600 --> 00:54:15,879
Speaker 8: I have some money, yeah, And I have some things

967
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:18,840
Speaker 8: I could sell, so like I would be like, okay,

968
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,000
Speaker 8: like I think I could say I could be financially

969
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:24,080
Speaker 8: stable if I were to like liquidate a few things,

970
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:25,520
Speaker 8: you know, and then move.

971
00:54:26,239 --> 00:54:29,759
Speaker 2: Now why why, I guess, I guess, like why move

972
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:31,480
Speaker 2: to Poland? Like what do you want to do? Why

973
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 2: don't you just go nomadic mode for a little bit?

974
00:54:34,120 --> 00:54:34,719
Speaker 2: That could be fun.

975
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,560
Speaker 8: I know, Like I was thinking about like moving to

976
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:43,160
Speaker 8: Poland on like a TBD basis and then like visiting

977
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,359
Speaker 8: like other places and like you know, like just seeing

978
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:47,839
Speaker 8: where life takes me from there.

979
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:53,040
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know the problem with that is

980
00:54:53,080 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 2: that it is true, right, like you're you're gonna get lonely,

981
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 2: like you do need to have a community and other

982
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:03,680
Speaker 2: people around. But if you're smart, I truly believe there's

983
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:09,080
Speaker 2: ways to to actually even weirdly enough, meet a whole

984
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:11,319
Speaker 2: lot more new people than you would have if you

985
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:18,680
Speaker 2: had stayed in Albany, right right, yeah, And you know,

986
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:20,239
Speaker 2: look you could also go do it for a year

987
00:55:20,280 --> 00:55:22,840
Speaker 2: and then fall else fails, you.

988
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 5: Can just go back home, right, I know.

989
00:55:25,800 --> 00:55:28,239
Speaker 8: But like you know, there's like I have a great

990
00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:32,360
Speaker 8: uncle and like two second cousins here, so it's not

991
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 8: really like there isn't too much to go back for

992
00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:38,719
Speaker 8: except for like my friends, but they're also looking to

993
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,239
Speaker 8: like move away, So like, I'm not sure if there's

994
00:55:41,280 --> 00:55:44,919
Speaker 8: really any like motivations for me to like stay here

995
00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 8: long term. Besides, like if I were to go and

996
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 8: then come back, like I don't know what i'd be

997
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:50,600
Speaker 8: coming back to if that makes sense.

998
00:55:51,400 --> 00:55:54,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, sure, well then fuck it. I mean, go go

999
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 2: meet a what are what are? Go get a Polish husband?

1000
00:55:58,640 --> 00:55:59,279
Speaker 2: That could be fun.

1001
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:06,360
Speaker 8: Uh you know maybe maybe who knows.

1002
00:56:06,880 --> 00:56:09,600
Speaker 2: Why Poland feels und Actually I've heard cool things about Poland.

1003
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:11,440
Speaker 2: I've heard cool things about Poland.

1004
00:56:11,520 --> 00:56:16,239
Speaker 8: Beautiful. It's beautiful. There's a lot of different like like

1005
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:18,600
Speaker 8: it's really old there. There's a lot of like old history.

1006
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:21,240
Speaker 8: And I went to Iceland this year too.

1007
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 6: If you ever have the chance.

1008
00:56:22,160 --> 00:56:24,400
Speaker 5: I don't know if you've been. It's super super cool.

1009
00:56:24,640 --> 00:56:26,959
Speaker 6: There's a lot of volcanic activity going on around there,

1010
00:56:26,960 --> 00:56:28,080
Speaker 6: but it's super dope.

1011
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:32,920
Speaker 2: Nice. Nice. You know, I've heard good things about Poland.

1012
00:56:33,719 --> 00:56:36,960
Speaker 8: Yeah, maybe you can stop on your tour for twenty.

1013
00:56:36,719 --> 00:56:40,600
Speaker 2: Twenty four, you know, yeah, yeah, I know. Warsaw's cool,

1014
00:56:40,680 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 2: crackouts cool. What about I don't know. I mean, do

1015
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:46,640
Speaker 2: you have any Yeah? Okay, so all the way, Okay,

1016
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,759
Speaker 2: So so your parents passed away. I'm very sorry to

1017
00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:53,400
Speaker 2: hear that. So you don't have any family in Albany.

1018
00:56:53,719 --> 00:56:55,759
Speaker 2: It sounds to me as though your friends are all

1019
00:56:56,040 --> 00:57:00,600
Speaker 2: like moving out and so there's just no one even

1020
00:57:00,760 --> 00:57:03,959
Speaker 2: in You're like in super no man's land right now.

1021
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:07,200
Speaker 8: Yeah, because you know, everyone's starting their life. We're in

1022
00:57:07,239 --> 00:57:09,200
Speaker 8: our like twenties, you know what I mean. So like

1023
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:12,279
Speaker 8: everybody's doing their own thing, and I'm looking to do

1024
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 8: my own thing. But I'm not sure if this is

1025
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:15,759
Speaker 8: like step in the right direction, or if I'm going

1026
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:19,560
Speaker 8: to fuck myself financially by moving somewhere far away and

1027
00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 8: then not having a way back or a fallback plan.

1028
00:57:22,240 --> 00:57:23,720
Speaker 2: Well, what the hell? What else would you do with

1029
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:25,400
Speaker 2: your life. That's the thing is, at a certain point

1030
00:57:25,400 --> 00:57:27,800
Speaker 2: you're like I have, at a certain point you have

1031
00:57:27,960 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 2: you don't even like have a better thing to do

1032
00:57:32,400 --> 00:57:38,920
Speaker 2: than to do the quote risky thing, right Yeah, I

1033
00:57:38,920 --> 00:57:41,520
Speaker 2: mean like like talk me through that, Like do you

1034
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 2: what else would you do?

1035
00:57:45,480 --> 00:57:45,640
Speaker 5: Well?

1036
00:57:45,720 --> 00:57:48,040
Speaker 8: Right now, I work as like a legal assistant, and

1037
00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:52,080
Speaker 8: I got like a college degree in communication studies and stuff,

1038
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:54,400
Speaker 8: so like that's very broad and I could do a

1039
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:56,440
Speaker 8: lot of different things. Like I wanted to be like

1040
00:57:56,480 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 8: a graphic designer, like a layout person, but that's not

1041
00:58:00,920 --> 00:58:02,760
Speaker 8: where life took me for right now.

1042
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 1: So I'm like.

1043
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:06,480
Speaker 8: Trying to re route and figure it out. But you know,

1044
00:58:06,600 --> 00:58:09,560
Speaker 8: I'm just uh, I'm just not sure, you know.

1045
00:58:11,560 --> 00:58:11,640
Speaker 5: So.

1046
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:13,320
Speaker 8: But I am quick on my feet, and I think.

1047
00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:14,880
Speaker 6: I could do a lot of different things. It's just

1048
00:58:14,920 --> 00:58:15,760
Speaker 6: a matter of like.

1049
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:16,680
Speaker 5: What would make me happy.

1050
00:58:16,720 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 6: And I feel like a lot of people struggle with

1051
00:58:19,080 --> 00:58:19,680
Speaker 6: what would make.

1052
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:22,240
Speaker 8: Them happy, especially translating it to like a professional nine

1053
00:58:22,280 --> 00:58:25,680
Speaker 8: to five, you know, because nobody wants to work ninety nine.

1054
00:58:26,080 --> 00:58:28,080
Speaker 1: Nobody wants to go to Poland.

1055
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:31,600
Speaker 2: I like that, Go to Poland, go crazy, go to Poland,

1056
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 2: Go to Poland. That's what I would do. Why not?

1057
00:58:35,840 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I mean, I get I mean what you

1058
00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:43,720
Speaker 2: either go to Poland or you stay in Albany.

1059
00:58:43,800 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, and you know, I like work my way up

1060
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:50,880
Speaker 6: for whatever, and you know, make money and maybe find somebody,

1061
00:58:50,880 --> 00:58:52,720
Speaker 6: but maybe not, you know, like maybe I could just

1062
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:55,800
Speaker 6: stay here and just fucking disintegrate. I have no idea.

1063
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 2: I don't know if I I always think that taking

1064
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:02,320
Speaker 2: a little taking a teeny bit of risk is good.

1065
00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,680
Speaker 2: I mean, you're not you you sound like I mean,

1066
00:59:04,800 --> 00:59:06,160
Speaker 2: if you have like a little bit of money, if

1067
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:10,000
Speaker 2: you're not gonna like go there, and you know, if

1068
00:59:10,040 --> 00:59:12,200
Speaker 2: you get that, you like, don't like if you if

1069
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 2: you have like two hundred dollars, don't go to Poland.

1070
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:18,080
Speaker 8: But uh no, no, yeah no, it's a it's a

1071
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:21,000
Speaker 8: bit more than that. But yes, I do understand so

1072
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:22,520
Speaker 8: logic behind that, because.

1073
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:24,360
Speaker 2: Okay, if no, if you have if you have the

1074
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:26,439
Speaker 2: money to like and be like, all right, I'm gonna

1075
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 2: be fine. If I, you know, take a little risk,

1076
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:30,720
Speaker 2: I think I I would go for it.

1077
00:59:31,840 --> 00:59:36,520
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay, all right, Well, thank you for the advice, Geck,

1078
00:59:36,560 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 6: I really appreciate it.

1079
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:40,440
Speaker 2: Hey, you know where you could go? You could go

1080
00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:48,640
Speaker 2: to uh uh, you could go to Tasmania in Australia.

1081
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:51,160
Speaker 2: That's the incest capital of Australia. Did you know that.

1082
00:59:51,280 --> 00:59:52,439
Speaker 2: I learned that while I was there.

1083
00:59:53,440 --> 00:59:55,440
Speaker 6: Wow. No, I had no idea.

1084
00:59:56,200 --> 00:59:59,000
Speaker 8: Huh that's a cool one.

1085
00:59:59,680 --> 00:59:59,919
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1086
01:00:00,160 --> 01:00:02,040
Speaker 2: It was really random thing to say, but I was like,

1087
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:03,800
Speaker 2: I gotta say a random thing at the end of

1088
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:06,960
Speaker 2: this call. I'm trying to do that more. Is there

1089
01:00:06,960 --> 01:00:08,160
Speaker 2: anything else you want to say to the people of

1090
01:00:08,160 --> 01:00:09,080
Speaker 2: the computer before we go?

1091
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:11,960
Speaker 8: I had a question for you?

1092
01:00:12,040 --> 01:00:13,920
Speaker 2: Actually, yeah, please?

1093
01:00:14,440 --> 01:00:17,040
Speaker 8: Uh where do you get your smooth jazz from?

1094
01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:18,200
Speaker 4: Oh?

1095
01:00:18,520 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 2: Uh yes, YouTube?

1096
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:22,600
Speaker 5: Just YouTube?

1097
01:00:22,640 --> 01:00:23,880
Speaker 2: Okay, just YouTube? All right?

1098
01:00:23,920 --> 01:00:24,480
Speaker 8: I like it.

1099
01:00:24,720 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 5: I like it.

1100
01:00:25,240 --> 01:00:26,520
Speaker 6: Thank you.

1101
01:00:28,240 --> 01:00:30,640
Speaker 2: I will see you. Don't move to Poland before March.

1102
01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 8: No, no, it's yeah, it's in April, so I'll definitely

1103
01:00:34,640 --> 01:00:34,960
Speaker 8: be here.

1104
01:00:35,160 --> 01:00:38,160
Speaker 2: Yep, okay, oh yes it is in April. Great, great, awesome,

1105
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:39,520
Speaker 2: I'll see you in Albany.

1106
01:00:40,360 --> 01:00:42,439
Speaker 8: All right, take care, GEK, thanks for taking my call.

1107
01:00:43,280 --> 01:00:43,600
Speaker 2: Thank you.

1108
01:00:44,320 --> 01:00:44,640
Speaker 4: Bye.

1109
01:00:46,680 --> 01:00:51,200
Speaker 2: G l A chef Reebacon goes on the line, thanking

1110
01:00:51,240 --> 01:00:52,360
Speaker 2: your phone calls.

1111
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:54,320
Speaker 10: Every nine never becon goes to

1112
01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:59,480
Speaker 1: Lis