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Speaker 1: What would you talk about on your on your podcast.

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Speaker 2: Fine morning show.

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Speaker 3: Here we go, the fifteen minute morning show. We have

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Speaker 3: one rule today, kids, what's up? Don't funk with the table.

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Speaker 4: Hands off the table. Everyone, hands off the table.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: These are coasters that Gandhi gave me when I got

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Speaker 3: my new desk built.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, because it was all mice and fancy and

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Speaker 5: we don't want you putting any ony cups on there.

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Speaker 1: Exactly, thank you. That's the rule of the day. The

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Speaker 1: rule of the day is, don't fuck up the table. Anyone.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the show.

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Speaker 3: We've got Scary, We've got Danielle, We've got Froggy, and

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Speaker 3: there's Gandhi and I see Scotty Bee in the studio

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Speaker 3: with no personality, so I see straight made and of

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Speaker 3: course Garrett's here as well.

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Speaker 1: There you have it, and Deanna's on the camera. Hid.

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Speaker 4: We didn't have coasters grown up. We just had the magazine.

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Speaker 4: So my dad would be like, hey, throw me a

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Speaker 4: magazine because he had a sweaty glass. So it coaster

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Speaker 4: is a common thing in your house.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: Magazines If you put a glass on that sweating on

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Speaker 3: a magazine page and it's on the table. Sometimes the

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Speaker 3: ring will still go through and it will leave the magazine.

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Speaker 1: On the table. You have to scratch it off with

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Speaker 1: your fingernail.

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Speaker 4: Well, we we always knew the magazines that my dad

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Speaker 4: used because they were like water logged, so you would

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Speaker 4: have the dried pages that were all crinkly afterwards.

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Speaker 6: You know, I wouldn't read a crinkly magazine. I hate it.

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Speaker 6: My magazine has to be beautiful, like it has to

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Speaker 6: be brand new looking, or I'm not even gonna open

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Speaker 6: it up.

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Speaker 1: I'm with you, Danielle.

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Speaker 3: I want you to iron that before you bring it in.

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Speaker 3: I want a nice The reason why if it's crinkly

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Speaker 3: because of moisture.

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Speaker 1: What moisture is that?

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Speaker 6: That's right, your father said it was from the glass.

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Speaker 7: I think I still don't understand how condensation works. If

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Speaker 7: you have a red solo cup and there's liquid inside

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Speaker 7: of it, how does it get outside of it?

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Speaker 3: Because it's like cold, it's it's colder on the inside

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Speaker 3: that it is on the outside of organization.

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Speaker 1: But it's plastic. It shouldn't go through it.

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Speaker 4: It's not.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't. It doesn't go through. It's not going it doesn't.

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Speaker 1: It's a temperature thing. It's not liquid inside the cup,

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Speaker 1: outside the cup. That's not happening. I don't know, Greg

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Speaker 1: teeth things, Scotti everything. I'm sorry. I just never understood that.

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Speaker 1: I don't get it.

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Speaker 4: I'll show them the YouTube video.

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Speaker 1: I'll show them the YouTube. Go look that up or

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Speaker 1: watch that YouTube video.

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Speaker 4: You'll sell.

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Speaker 2: You'll show them on the red So, yeah, is that

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Speaker 2: why the windows get fogged up when you're driving and

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Speaker 2: you're all talking and it's a bunch of hot air going.

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Speaker 1: No, that's different.

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Speaker 3: That's actual liquid coming through the pores of the glass.

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Speaker 1: Are you serious and scary? You're not kidding us, are you?

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Speaker 2: I have a problem in my in my new car

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Speaker 2: with with with defrosting. It's all a sudden we're talking,

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Speaker 2: had a conversation and the windows fog up, and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I have to roll down the windows and to let

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Speaker 2: the air out.

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Speaker 3: Gandhi, gandhi, you share the science with it. What this

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Speaker 3: is all about. I don't understand why they don't get this.

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Speaker 4: This is because we're.

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Speaker 5: Full of cars, because there's so much hot air in

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Speaker 5: such a tiny little space. When we're all talking to

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Speaker 5: you and it's and it's.

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Speaker 1: Cold outside condensation, is it not?

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Speaker 6: I guess wait, wait a minute, it happened in the

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Speaker 6: car yesterday when I was just listening to my audible

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Speaker 6: and it was happening.

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Speaker 1: So why isn't it was just me and the car

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Speaker 1: because your mouth breather? What were you listen to?

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Speaker 8: Yeah, it was that book.

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Speaker 6: Hold on, it's by Colleen Hoover. Hold On, It's called

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Speaker 6: Ugly Love. And there are some there are there are

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Speaker 6: some bump and uglies.

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Speaker 3: So wait, you were listening to some scandalous, scandalous book,

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Speaker 3: and therefore you were breathing harder than usual. Condensation was

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Speaker 3: forming inside the car. That's warmer on the inside than

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Speaker 3: it is.

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Speaker 1: It is it called book porn. Thing's not bookborn. It's

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Speaker 1: Colleen Hoover.

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Speaker 2: She's great.

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Speaker 1: Sounds like it sucks.

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Speaker 2: I've never read a joke. I've never read a sex

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Speaker 2: scene in a book. I know that it gets very descriptive,

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Speaker 2: but is it really intense?

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Speaker 1: We talk about like purple headed warriors and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: Don't in this one.

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Speaker 2: No meaning like I've never You know me, I don't

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Speaker 2: read a whole lot of books, but I know some

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Speaker 2: of these romance novels get really steamy.

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Speaker 9: Time out, time out, scary. You don't read a whole

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Speaker 9: lot of books, and was the last time.

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Speaker 4: You read here we go.

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Speaker 3: The last last time you did a push up was

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Speaker 3: when he read a book. Here's the thing about reading,

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Speaker 3: reading about you know sexy times. You fill in the

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Speaker 3: blanks with the theater of the mind, so you can

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Speaker 3: picture what you want them to look like in your

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Speaker 3: mind when you're reading. I think that's much hotter than

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Speaker 3: watching a born think when.

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Speaker 5: You read a sex scene is the only time the

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Speaker 5: word loin is ever actually used? Yeah, I don't think

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Speaker 5: you would use that in conversation. I've read a lot

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Speaker 5: of things about burning loins, Danielle.

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Speaker 1: Do they say lust a lot?

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Speaker 6: Yes, lust has been said.

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Speaker 1: The word loin should only be in a barber in

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Speaker 1: a butcher shop, burning loins.

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Speaker 4: I'm believing an excerpt right now. Uh, book just said

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Speaker 4: just a random book?

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Speaker 1: Was fabio on the cover?

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Speaker 6: I think so those books my grandmother and my aunt.

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Speaker 2: Used to read.

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Speaker 4: Louise Jensen was neither shallow nor vacuous, although she definitely

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Speaker 4: fulfilled his well endowed requirements. Because though she might be,

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Speaker 4: Javien still wanted her still.

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Speaker 1: Stop stop there, Okay, stop there. Now, what was her name? Uh,

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Speaker 1: Louise Jensen.

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Speaker 3: Okay, let's think in on my mind. Who what does

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Speaker 3: Louise Jensen look like? Don't don't go to her cavernous

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Speaker 3: area quite yet?

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Speaker 4: A suburban housewife.

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Speaker 5: I was thinking, like a grandmama.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Louise sounds like a grandma. Yeah, okay, I'm an

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Speaker 1: older in her fifties or sixties. Maybe I'm going to see.

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Speaker 4: Uh, I'm going to say, like in mid forties, divorced.

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Speaker 1: Uh no, no kids? No kids? Oh here, mid forties?

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Speaker 2: Right?

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Speaker 1: Do you have any friends named Louise good point sixties?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 6: Wait, we all have a friend named Louise. How old

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Speaker 6: is she?

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Speaker 10: Elvis, She's not old at all? Okay, but anyway, moving on, okay,

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Speaker 10: so okay, So Louise is in her mid forties according

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Speaker 10: to Nate, and she's neither cavernous or shallow.

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Speaker 1: It was, she's neither shallow nor vacuous. That's vacuous, vacuous massive. Okay, sorry,

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Speaker 1: she can she can accept his endowment? Yeah, so what

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Speaker 1: does that mean?

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Speaker 5: Stretchable?

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Speaker 1: Wow, she can hold his wiener?

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Speaker 6: So she wait does she not? Because I'm wondering if

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Speaker 6: she's had kids, she probably could hold out wiener better

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Speaker 6: because it would be maybe.

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Speaker 1: No, that would make her vacuous. Do you think so?

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Wait, hold on, Scar, are you Mom's plaining to Danielle.

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Speaker 1: It sounds like I don't know what is vacuous. Sound

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Speaker 1: like a vacuum, like a dyson.

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Speaker 3: I think vacuous means large, doesn't it.

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Speaker 1: Big and empty? I think large and empty.

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Speaker 5: Oh, continue, he says, having or showing lack of thought

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Speaker 5: or intelligence.

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Speaker 1: That's well, I don't think that applies in this case.

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Speaker 1: Go ahead, okay.

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Speaker 4: Louise's laugh was louder than everyone else's, and every time

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Speaker 4: he heard it, which admittedly hadn't been that often, he

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Speaker 4: experienced a jolt of lust.

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Speaker 1: Wait what do you mean everyone? There's people watching. Apparently

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Speaker 1: this is a party. It was a party. It's getting better.

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Speaker 1: Hang on.

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Speaker 4: He stood out amongst all these preening peacocks. He could

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Speaker 4: feel They're curious, sideways glances, taking in the tattoo visible

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Speaker 4: on the side of his neck, the ones broken nose,

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Speaker 4: the fact that even though his tuxedo was tough, but

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Speaker 4: the line it's still felt like a monkey suit. He

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Speaker 4: rolled his shoulders in an attempt to loosen the tens

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Speaker 4: that nodded them and then decided to.

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Speaker 1: Hell with it.

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Speaker 4: Six was the easiest and simplest solution, best way to relax,

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Speaker 4: hands down.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well no, wait, back up.

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Speaker 3: But she was talking about how she was not shallow

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Speaker 3: enough or vacuous enough to not be able to accept

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Speaker 3: his crazy endowment. But he's wearing a tuxedo and there

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Speaker 3: are other people watching.

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Speaker 1: I think this is the start of it. Hang on,

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Speaker 1: let me see you jump in halfway through and.

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Speaker 4: Hang on.

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Speaker 2: I took it that he got excited over the fact

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Speaker 2: that she was laughing.

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Speaker 4: So he's into laughing, which is weird. What's the name

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Speaker 4: of this book, the hottest hell romance chapter that will

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Speaker 4: basically give you the big Oh?

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Speaker 1: I just googled. I'm sorry, no, anyone, no, no, It's

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Speaker 1: from Harlequin's new Forbidden series. Oh, I mean almost. Have

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Speaker 1: you ever read a book and gotten a woody before? Yes? Yeah, yes,

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Speaker 1: I think I have to.

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Speaker 5: A lot of people were loving Fifty Shades of Gray. Personally,

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Speaker 5: I found that book very creepy, the entire series very creepy.

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Speaker 1: I agree with you. People.

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Speaker 6: After a while it got repetitives. It was like, okay,

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Speaker 6: this again, I'm tired just reading.

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Speaker 3: It's not what you're reading, it's how your mind is

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Speaker 3: interpreted that will make you excited.

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Speaker 1: Is Penthouse Letters the same thing?

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Speaker 2: Stop?

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Speaker 6: If you have an audible, you can get some of

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Speaker 6: the Forbidden series and they can read it to you.

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Speaker 2: Is it true that there are differences between men and

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Speaker 2: women and how they interpret like women are Actually they

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Speaker 2: actually can paint the picture better on their canvas in

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Speaker 2: their head.

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Speaker 1: Why are you asking that? Because you know that's that's

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Speaker 1: kind of a proven thing. I'm actually getting turned on

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Speaker 1: scrolling through this.

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Speaker 7: I've painted pictures frog. You remember when we were kids

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Speaker 7: Penthouse Letters.

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Speaker 1: That was great. We would paint that picture without any pictures.

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Speaker 9: Oh no, yeah, Penthouse Letters was really dirty, but it

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Speaker 9: was straight to the who cares?

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Speaker 1: Just like that. That show used to be able one

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Speaker 1: hundred loved.

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Speaker 3: People would call in and talk about how they were

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Speaker 3: having sex so hard last night, they broke their penis whatever,

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Speaker 3: and we were all thinking, that's not true.

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Speaker 1: This is a made up story. And then doctor Judy would.

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Speaker 3: Say, well, even if it is made up, it's possible

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Speaker 3: it could be happening to someone else, so let them go.

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Speaker 1: Ah.

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Speaker 7: That was That was a fun show, frozen hot dog

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Speaker 7: stuck up your butt in the emergency room.

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Speaker 5: Oh we should bring that back.

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Speaker 1: Oh is it.

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Speaker 3: Why you missed the show that day?

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Speaker 1: Yes, okay, I found I found the park. You ready?

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Speaker 1: I don't think I can read this?

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Speaker 4: Jealous. His hands trailed down my sides, curving over my

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Speaker 4: hips and then hooking on, hooking under me to bring

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Speaker 4: my legs out so that I was flat on my

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Speaker 4: back and my legs were hanging off the bed. He slips,

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Speaker 4: He slowly slid my panties down as he left.

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Speaker 1: Chuckle, what chuckle?

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Speaker 4: You do? You normally forget the day of the week

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Speaker 4: and to check you check your underwear to be certain.

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Speaker 1: Guess she puts her name day of the week underwork.

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Speaker 4: Shut up and get undressed. He was grinning as he

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Speaker 4: pulled back, and I propped myself up on my elbows,

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Speaker 4: ready for the show. I didn't dare blink for fear

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Speaker 4: that I might miss something. As he towed off his

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Speaker 4: boots and then pulled his T shirt over his head.

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Speaker 4: Holy hell, was he built?

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Speaker 1: Okay?

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Speaker 4: I knew the man was in shape, but this should

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Speaker 4: be illegal. Even can you look this? He even had

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Speaker 4: that perfectly foreigned v that slightly showed above the whist.

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Speaker 1: This isn't.

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Speaker 4: Trying to get my hands on it. The swimmer's button,

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Speaker 4: the top button of his Levi buttonfly jeans.

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Speaker 1: I held my breath.

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Speaker 4: Was he a boxer or a brief sky or maybe

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Speaker 4: a boxer? The plate? Please, for the love of God,

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Speaker 4: just no tidy White's. When the last button was undone

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Speaker 4: and he slid his jeans off, I felt like I

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Speaker 4: should do penitence because the man was commando and his.

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Speaker 1: Words, my lord, was it huge? Oh my god?

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Speaker 4: Of course?

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Speaker 3: Now what if she had said and he pulled his

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Speaker 3: pants down in ohache.

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Speaker 7: Also all depends on how you read it. You know,

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Speaker 7: I mean, you're reading it kind of sensual.

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Speaker 1: You want me to read it like a fucking clown.

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Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. If you read it like a clown.

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Speaker 4: It wouldn't his nightstand and pulled out a condom packet like.

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Speaker 1: Which I'm gonna give it to guy. I want to

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Speaker 1: hear Gandhi in the voice of Minus Cyrus. Pick up,

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Speaker 1: pick up where the highlight we love By the way.

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Speaker 8: He opened his night stand and pulled out a condom packet.

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Speaker 8: We had humors raising up and down my spine and

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Speaker 8: ghost pimple is tangling all over my skin next to

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Speaker 8: my hand. And then she had a one name with

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Speaker 8: towy my legs. Ye, I bucked, pushing my hips up

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Speaker 8: to deepen his touch. Everything, his touch, he smell, his

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Speaker 8: passion was overwhelming, and it got me.

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Speaker 1: Someone's into this.

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Speaker 4: Someone's into this.

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Speaker 1: Not in the style of like a cartoonist.

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Speaker 4: Well, yeah, can you do the creepy old guys?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh god, this is gonna be awful. Herb is great.

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Speaker 1: Start with the size of his dead say.

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Speaker 4: I wrapped my hand around, just stroked him a few times.

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Speaker 4: But then he was hooking an I'm on to my

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Speaker 4: knee and lifting my legs so that I was open.

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Speaker 3: To Okay, okay, oh wait, hang on, here's a good sentence.

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Speaker 1: We have to we have to end this. I think

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Speaker 1: we've gone too far as it is. We can't have

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Speaker 1: one almost sentence, just one. I was ready to.

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Speaker 3: Do Charlie in the bott that said, let's do as

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Speaker 3: they say, leave him wanting more.

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Speaker 1: People'll just end it right now. What do you say

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Speaker 1: he'll do it?

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, we gotta go by nice no I

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Speaker 1: The fifteen Minute Morning Show