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Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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Speaker 1: tip is that, when you are trying to schedule something,

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Speaker 1: offer three options that work for you. You will be

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Speaker 1: perceived as helpful and flexible, and you are more likely

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Speaker 1: to land on a time you are happy about. Today's tip,

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Speaker 1: like some other recent ones, comes from Alison Forgale, a

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Speaker 1: professor at the University of North Carolina's Business School. Forgale

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Speaker 1: studies status, power, and negotiation and has written extensively about

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Speaker 1: these topics. In her writing, Forgail advises against being what

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Speaker 1: she calls a second mover with your calendar. In other words,

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Speaker 1: don't put yourself in the position of responding to the

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Speaker 1: day and times offered by other people. I mean, maybe

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Speaker 1: the options they offer will be perfect, but probably not.

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Speaker 1: It's hard to know what to do when the other

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Speaker 1: person offers a time when you are theoretically free, but

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Speaker 1: you have other things you'd like to do. You don't

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Speaker 1: really want to accept a time that would be inconvenient,

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Speaker 1: but many people won't decline when there is no actual conflict.

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Speaker 1: So instead of being a second mover, as soon as

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Speaker 1: you suspect something's getting scheduled, offer three options that work

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Speaker 1: for you, as in, yes, let's get coffee. Could you

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Speaker 1: do Thursday at two or three? Or Friday at three

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Speaker 1: or I'd love to talk about revamping our onboarding materials.

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Speaker 1: I could meet at X, Y or Z time. This

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Speaker 1: practice offers several advantages. First, most likely the event will

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Speaker 1: happen at a time you want. But by suggesting multiple

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Speaker 1: options that work for you, not just one, you are

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Speaker 1: conveying warmth. People like people who give them options, so

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Speaker 1: that is great. And practically speaking, offering more than one

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Speaker 1: time increases the likelihood that one of those times will

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Speaker 1: work for the other person. That saves you from endless

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Speaker 1: back and forth emails. Of course, you may be wondering

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Speaker 1: why offer only three options instead of more. Frigil recommends

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Speaker 1: three because she says that's enough to come across as warm,

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Speaker 1: but not so many as to be overwhelming. I think

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Speaker 1: it's also wise to be reasonably specific about what constitutes

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Speaker 1: an option. In my view, Tuesday from nine to ten

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Speaker 1: am is an option Tuesday morning or the week of

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Speaker 1: July fourteenth, isn't. It's hard to believe that all of

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Speaker 1: the week of the fourteenth is equally good, so best

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Speaker 1: not to suggest it. Of course, you can offer three

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Speaker 1: options when you are scheduling in your personal life too,

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Speaker 1: three options for when to have lunch with a friend,

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Speaker 1: or go for a walk with your neighbor, or have

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Speaker 1: a playdate for your kid and his friend. Forgale points

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Speaker 1: out that offering three options works for other negotiations beyond scheduling.

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Speaker 1: For instance, when you are planning drinks with a friend,

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Speaker 1: you could suggest three restaurants and then invite her to choose.

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Speaker 1: When you are taking a dish to your parents' house

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Speaker 1: for a family gathering, you can offer three options of

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Speaker 1: things you could make and let your parents pick the

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Speaker 1: one that would be most helpful. When you are figuring

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Speaker 1: out how to spend a Saturday with your family, you

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Speaker 1: could make three suggestions to guide the decision. When you

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Speaker 1: are the first mover, you can guide the decision in

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Speaker 1: a direction that will work for you, and by giving

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Speaker 1: three options, you make it likely that an option will

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Speaker 1: work for the other person as well, so it is

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Speaker 1: a win all the way around. In the meantime, this

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Speaker 1: is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making the

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Speaker 1: most of our time. Thanks for listening. To Before Breakfast.

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Speaker 1: If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach

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Speaker 1: me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast

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Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia,

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Speaker 1: please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

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Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.