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Speaker 1: I refuse to watch my family's high maintenance dogs, so

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Speaker 1: they had to cancel their vacation. Not the a hole

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Speaker 1: my parents. I like that they started off. They're like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not the a hole my parents eighty two male,

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Speaker 1: seventy five female asked if I would help them book

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Speaker 1: a much needed vacation. They also asked me to do

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Speaker 1: the same for my brother forty three and sister in

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Speaker 1: law thirty three because they wanted to take a family

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Speaker 1: vacation in September. My husband forty six and I at

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Speaker 1: forty one female can't afford to go because I am

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Speaker 1: currently out of a job, even though this would be

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Speaker 1: the first family vacation I will ever miss, and it

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Speaker 1: made me really sad. I said, I would, of course help.

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Speaker 1: My mom even mentioned to me that in a way,

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Speaker 1: it's good because I'd be able to watch my brother's

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Speaker 1: pugs and my parents' chihuahua. That's so ouch to be, like, well,

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Speaker 1: it's good that you're not coming because you can watch

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Speaker 1: your dogs.

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Speaker 2: Oh wow.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Dazzling Pee on the

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Speaker 1: ink Store Toime subreddit. Here's the thing about watching the dogs.

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Speaker 1: It's a twenty four or seven job that requires me

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Speaker 1: to stay at my brother's house. The dogs are wonderful,

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Speaker 1: but very high maintenance. Because of this, I have been

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Speaker 1: telling my brother for nearly ten years that he needed

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Speaker 1: to hire a dog sitter. Money isn't an issue for him.

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Speaker 1: I've dog set for them three times this past year,

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Speaker 1: varying from one to five nights. They paid me very well,

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Speaker 1: but I do not feel comfortable staying at their house,

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Speaker 1: and I find the round the clockcare exhausting. My husband

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Speaker 1: and I have five cats, and we are no stranger

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Speaker 1: to feeling like our pets are our children, but we

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Speaker 1: don't have dogs for a reason. Now I'm supposed to

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Speaker 1: be booking this trip for my brother, but he hasn't

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Speaker 1: even asked me about watching the dogs. Sunday at family dinner,

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Speaker 1: everyone is there except my sister in law, who was ill.

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Speaker 1: My brother was sitting across from me, so I reach

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Speaker 1: out to hold his hand and say that I love him,

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Speaker 1: I love his pugs, but I can't watch them when

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Speaker 1: they go on vacation, and that he needs to get

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Speaker 1: a dog sitter. I said it was just too much

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Speaker 1: to ask me to be trapped at their house for

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Speaker 1: seven nights that I have been asking him to hire

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Speaker 1: a dog sitter for nearly a decade. I even offer

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Speaker 1: suggestions and said I'll help to find someone. He starts

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Speaker 1: to get reactive and said that they won't watch my

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Speaker 1: cats anymore. I said, that's fine, we have a cat sitter.

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Speaker 1: But I point out that I asked them if they

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Speaker 1: can help. They, on the other hand, didn't ask me.

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Speaker 1: It seems like they were just kind of expecting OPI

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Speaker 1: to watch the dogs.

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Speaker 3: It just seems crazy, like, yeah, we're gonna go on

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Speaker 3: this vacation that you planned for us. Yeah, and you

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Speaker 3: can watch our dogs.

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Speaker 1: And you can't come. And it's actually better that you're

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Speaker 1: not company.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, lucky you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I think also when you have very you know,

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Speaker 1: needy dogs or just needy animals in general, you have

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Speaker 1: to be really on top of like can you watch

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Speaker 1: are you free these days? Are you available to watch

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Speaker 1: these dogs? Like cats? It's different, Like I mean, I

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Speaker 1: actually I'm cat sitting right now. And my friend did ask,

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Speaker 1: like I'm month in advance and was like, hey, can

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Speaker 1: you watch from these dates.

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Speaker 2: Or they asked you. Yeah, they didn't just expect.

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Speaker 1: They didn't just expect me to watch the cats. And

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Speaker 1: those the cats are so easy. I see them, I like,

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Speaker 1: I feed them in a like once a day thing,

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Speaker 1: and I you know, that's a whole different story to this,

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Speaker 1: which it seems like they're just she needs to be there. Yeah, constantly. Dogs,

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Speaker 1: It's like a three or four times a day. Yeah. No,

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Speaker 1: I've also dogs. I had to one time. I had

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Speaker 1: to dog sit three dogs, two which were giant labs

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Speaker 1: who were really like, you know, energetic, and then a

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Speaker 1: little dog who peed everywhere. And it was like super old.

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Speaker 1: And I had to feed like four medications and a

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Speaker 1: pig why yeah, all at the same time, like a

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Speaker 1: giant pig. And the pig gets really angry when you

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Speaker 1: don't feed it in time, and so it starts screaming

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Speaker 1: at you, running out your dog here. It was really intense,

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Speaker 1: and I didn't actually get paid that much.

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Speaker 2: That hit me in a way. You thank you.

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Speaker 1: My brother finally concedes that it is a lot to

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Speaker 1: ask seven nights and five dogs. I also forgot that, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's insane. Excuse me, yes, five dogs. Because his mother

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Speaker 1: in law apparently was planning to go too.

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Speaker 2: Oh my, yeah, I just add some more people and

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Speaker 2: you're here.

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Speaker 1: You're not going on vacation. Just take five dogs. So

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Speaker 1: now added to the mix are two Italian greyhounds.

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Speaker 2: All right, it's Italian, it's fine, it's fine greyhounds.

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Speaker 1: It was fine, and stay calm and gently point out

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Speaker 1: that I felt this way before knowing there were five dogs.

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Speaker 1: Can he imagine how I felt? He seemed to understand.

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Speaker 1: By the time I left for dinner, there were hugs

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Speaker 1: and all was well. I knew my brother was upset,

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Speaker 1: but he seemed to understand, and I was really proud

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Speaker 1: of putting up boundaries. The next evening, I call my

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Speaker 1: parents to see if they have heard from my brother.

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Speaker 1: Apparently he called them after he got home from my

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Speaker 1: family dinner and was blindsided by me what He didn't

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Speaker 1: even ask her yet. She just was proactive and was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I don't know if he wanted me to watch the dogs,

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Speaker 1: but I can't. He was like, she blindsided me.

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Speaker 3: I'm still hung up on this Opie planning the whole

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Speaker 3: trip for everybody else?

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Speaker 2: Is that not bothering that it is?

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Speaker 1: It's weird. Yeah, she's not even going on it. She's

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Speaker 1: doing everything for them.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy going.

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Speaker 1: My sister in law was just as upset as him too.

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Speaker 1: They think I'm throwing a tantrum because I can't go

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Speaker 1: on the vacation. Well, yes, that sucks. I told him

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Speaker 1: My real issue is being trapped at their house for

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Speaker 1: seven nights. Now they're canceling the vacation because I won't

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Speaker 1: watch the dogs. Am I the a hole for telling

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Speaker 1: them I won't do it? There are some comments and

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Speaker 1: an update. Oh oh boy, boy, oh boy. No, you're

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Speaker 1: not the a hole. You don't know them.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: I think it is different if you said yes and

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Speaker 1: then a day before you were like, actually, I can't

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Speaker 1: do this. Yeah, presumably it seems like you're giving them

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Speaker 1: enough time. They have yet to ask you officially, so.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it just means they don't value your time time.

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Speaker 1: No, they think like, oh, we can just dump five

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Speaker 1: dogs off with you and she'll just do whatever.

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Speaker 3: They think their vacation time is more important than your life. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you're like to your normal lifetime.

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Speaker 1: No. I think people really don't, you know, think about

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Speaker 1: how much it's like time and effort it takes to

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Speaker 1: take care of animals.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and like if something happened like oh you were

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Speaker 3: in charge. Yeah, now my greyhound is up the street.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's I have like five dogs. We don't

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Speaker 1: even It doesn't seem like, oh, Pete has any dogs,

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Speaker 1: they got cats?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, they have cats. So it's also that's a

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Speaker 1: mm hmm. Are the dogs coming to her house or

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Speaker 1: is she going to another person's house and sitting there,

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Speaker 1: in which case it's like, Okay, now I need someone

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Speaker 1: to look after my cats because I'm here all the time.

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Speaker 1: And there are some comments that we can get into

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Speaker 1: having hope thirty five ninety four says, not the a hole.

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Speaker 1: They are grown people who had plenty of time to

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Speaker 1: find arrangements for their dogs. Didn't they have somebody else

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Speaker 1: watch to watch the dogs when you all travel together,

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Speaker 1: Is this a weird ploy to punish you by making

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Speaker 1: you feel guilty or something seems reactive? And Opie says

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Speaker 1: the only time we have all traveled together was for

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Speaker 1: my brother's wedding, which the dogs came to. This would

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Speaker 1: be an international beach trip, which we haven't had in

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Speaker 1: I guess over a decade. To be fair, he couldn't

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Speaker 1: go on the last trip in twenty fifteen, and I went,

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Speaker 1: but I only had one cat that had no special

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Speaker 1: requirements at the time, so my roommate watched her, so

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Speaker 1: I feel bad for him not being able to not

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Speaker 1: go on the family vacation, although it feels self induced

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Speaker 1: to me at this point, but I am very emotional

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Speaker 1: and I can't tell if my judgment is clouded. A

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Speaker 1: persimonious salad says, not the a hole. They can hire

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Speaker 1: a pet sitter. It's not your household to take responsibility for.

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Speaker 1: And edit, I also don't understand why they need your

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Speaker 1: help to build it.

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Speaker 2: Yep, parsimonious Salad on the setit.

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Speaker 3: And also like, if you can't afford a pet sitter

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Speaker 3: to go on a vacation, you probably shouldn't be going

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Speaker 3: on the vacation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Right, if this person is making a sacrifice saying, if

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Speaker 3: OPI is saying, you know what, I can't afford to

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Speaker 3: go on this vacation right now because I am not

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Speaker 3: in a position, then the other people should feel.

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Speaker 2: The same way.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's yeah crazy, Opie says. Oops, I took that

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Speaker 1: part out because I was aware of the character limit.

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Speaker 1: I can book like a travel agent and waive my

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Speaker 1: commission so they can save a few hundred So Opie's

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Speaker 1: also saving them a bunch of money and they're complaining, unreal,

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Speaker 1: I realize how awful that sounds in context of this post,

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Speaker 1: but it's easy for me to do, and as someone

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Speaker 1: that loves to do things for others but currently doesn't

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Speaker 1: have budget for it, it's something I'm happy to do.

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Speaker 1: Ridiculous they're taking annch heeler Haven says, so they get

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Speaker 1: a discount by not paying you for your services and

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Speaker 1: expect you to watch five dogs twenty four to seven

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Speaker 1: and live apart from your spouse to do so. How

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Speaker 1: much do they usually pay you for the normal three?

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Speaker 1: Because I bet it's not nearly as generous as they

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Speaker 1: tell you it is. And OPI responds, so this isn't

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Speaker 1: a super common situation for us. Despite what my harping

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Speaker 1: on this for ten years in place, I went over

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Speaker 1: my character limit, so I couldn't add this bit of context.

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Speaker 1: My brother set the precedent nearly ten years ago that

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Speaker 1: the dogs could never be alone at night because of

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Speaker 1: separation anxiety. So when he was single and traveling for work,

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Speaker 1: my mom had to stay the night there with the dogs,

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Speaker 1: and since she lived closer than me and I had

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Speaker 1: an office job, she would go back and forth to

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Speaker 1: the house every five hours to let them out. Back then,

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Speaker 1: I used to say that I wasn't fair that to

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Speaker 1: Mom and that he needed to hire a dog sitter.

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Speaker 1: My mom loved it because the pug cuddles are amazing

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Speaker 1: and they are good dogs, but I was still vocal

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Speaker 1: that it was way too much to ask mom. Last year,

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Speaker 1: my husband and I bought a house a mile away

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Speaker 1: from my brother, and the dog care has fallen to

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Speaker 1: me because why would I make my mom continue to

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Speaker 1: do that when it's easier for me. The first time

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Speaker 1: I did it, I was extremely anxious, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: complain because it was so my brother and sister in

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Speaker 1: law could take a family vacation with her dying father.

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Speaker 1: I had four dogs then and it was five hundred

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Speaker 1: dollars for five days. To be completely honest, I would

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Speaker 1: not have accepted the money if I hadn't just lost

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Speaker 1: my dob To me, that is what family is for.

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Speaker 1: There was another couple times for one and then three

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Speaker 1: nights due to a family emergency with my sister in

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Speaker 1: law's family, so again no problem. I've dropped by a

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Speaker 1: couple times to let the dogs out back to potty

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Speaker 1: when asked, and even recently there was a day that

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Speaker 1: neither my mom or I were available to let the

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Speaker 1: pugs out when a situation came up, and I specifically

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Speaker 1: told my brother he needed to have a trusted pet

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Speaker 1: sitter on hand and hit them up before he needs them.

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Speaker 1: But this is the first time that I feel like

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Speaker 1: it's completely different and not right for them to ask

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Speaker 1: me to do all this. It feels like taking advantage,

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Speaker 1: and it feels like when my mom had to stay

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Speaker 1: there when my brother traveled all over again, and I'm

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Speaker 1: not willing to put myself through it for a long

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Speaker 1: vacation when this is exactly the scenario I've been harping on.

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Speaker 1: And there is an update, but I think this actually

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Speaker 1: gives a lot of context about the previous time she

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Speaker 1: was watching it. It was all kind of emergencies happened,

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Speaker 1: or it was very last minute things where they were like,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I just need someone to watch the dogs.

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Speaker 1: But I think that when you have five dogs, or

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Speaker 1: it seems four to five dogs, you should get a

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Speaker 1: pet sitter because you shouldn't be expecting people, especially not

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Speaker 1: for free, to watch that many dogs.

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Speaker 3: I think the element of the planned vacation is the

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Speaker 3: key fact. Yeah, like it's not like, oh, like I

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Speaker 3: had this emergency, didn't have time to find a pet sitter.

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Speaker 3: It's like, now I'm a going to drop a bunch

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Speaker 3: of coin, Yeah, to go to a fun place that

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Speaker 3: you plan go to.

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Speaker 2: You can't go to because you're fine. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And maybe they're paying them. I think she doesn't

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Speaker 3: want to have to take the money.

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Speaker 1: I think they should pay her because she can't go

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Speaker 1: on the vacation because she can't afford it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I think she's like, I don't want to

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Speaker 3: have to do that much time. Yeah, you know, she

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Speaker 3: doesn't want it to be about the money, which I

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Speaker 3: can respect.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which I get because it's her family. But they're

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Speaker 1: definitely it seems like they're taking advantage of her. Miss

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Speaker 1: silver Tear says, if she took her commission, she'd be

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Speaker 1: able to take a trip. It's Brittany Beach says, isn't

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Speaker 1: it unfair on the dogs in the situation as well?

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Speaker 1: It seems like she would be taking care of them

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Speaker 1: a lot, like I think if she was doing it,

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Speaker 1: they would be fine for the dogs. It's Brittany Beach

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Speaker 1: like being alone with separation anxiety, but have an owner

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Speaker 1: who's rarely home A Yeah, No, it just seems very

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Speaker 1: unfair for it Pete and Kimberly Fine says the previous

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Speaker 1: times were irregular. This show is an absolute lack of consideration. Yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 1: but there is an update that's freaking Four days later,

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Speaker 1: my brother apologized and we were having a very good

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Speaker 1: and calm conversation. You were getting to a point where

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Speaker 1: I was willing to make a compromise because I finally

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Speaker 1: felt heard. Then my sister in law, who had an

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Speaker 1: attitude the whole time, snappily said, okay, so what do

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Speaker 1: we need to do to resolve this? Ooh I like

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Speaker 1: that energy, I don't like it. Things started to get

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Speaker 1: heated because I felt her tension and tried to acknowledge it.

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Speaker 1: I said that I was really hurt by my sister

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Speaker 1: in law's actions. I left it out of my OG post,

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Speaker 1: but she was complaining about helping me clean my house

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Speaker 1: before my wedding. I later found out that she told

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Speaker 1: my dad that I had moldy dishes in the sink

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Speaker 1: and that was humiliating.

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Speaker 2: Wait, why are you going to do that?

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Speaker 1: So she asked for your help. Oh yeah, for her

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Speaker 1: help to clean the house because she probably had going

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Speaker 1: through a stressful time and then she went and old everyone.

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Speaker 3: No, it's told the dad I do dishes. I was

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Speaker 3: helping you clean, and I tell your mom that you

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Speaker 3: have dirty dishes in your sink for no reason other

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Speaker 3: than just to expose you.

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Speaker 1: That's so rude, crazy. Ugh, I don't like this, sister

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Speaker 1: in law. I said, it hurt a lot when I

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Speaker 1: learned she brought it up again as part of her

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Speaker 1: argument why I should watch the dogs.

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Speaker 2: What you're going I need to hear more.

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Speaker 1: She sarcastically said, Oh, so I'm the villain. I said,

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Speaker 1: I feel like, from what I've gathered from my parents

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Speaker 1: this past week, that you think I'm sabotaging this vacation

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00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,080
Speaker 1: because I'm jealous that I can't go. And if you

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00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,880
Speaker 1: think that, you really must not know me, and that hurts.

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Speaker 1: And she said, with the same rude tone as earlier,

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Speaker 1: I must not know you, because that is one hundred

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Speaker 1: percent what I think. My eyes welled up because I

307
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Speaker 1: felt like she had just sucker punched me. She looked

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Speaker 1: at me here and said, here comes the temper town

309
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Speaker 1: trum wow. I stood up to leave, and then I

310
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 1: turned around again and said, over everyone yelling my name,

311
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Speaker 1: to calm down. If you, with all your time, money,

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Speaker 1: and resources, decide to not go on vacation, that is

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Speaker 1: your own decision and not because of me. I got

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Speaker 1: the hell out of the house and sat in the

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Speaker 1: car until my husband came out. By the way, you

316
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,800
Speaker 1: could join his live on your delivery three pm Pacific

317
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Speaker 1: stand of time. Just dub a profile do?

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Speaker 2: I mean, how what else you gonna do? I think

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Speaker 2: they handled it.

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Speaker 1: I think oh, p handled that great sister in law.

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Speaker 1: It is absolutely ridiculous to ask someone for something which

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Speaker 1: they don't know you, they don't know you're your time

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Speaker 1: or anything, and then to brate them and bully them

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Speaker 1: in front of people when they don't do that for you.

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Speaker 1: Crazy Bell Conkling says you, why the f did no

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Speaker 1: one in her family defender? Yeah, they're all called telling

327
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Speaker 1: you great question down what seems like the everyone's kind

328
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,760
Speaker 1: of on the brother and the sister in law's side.

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Speaker 1: They're like, oh, just do it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, because they're going to go on vacation.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't affect them. It's kind of ridiculous. They're all

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Speaker 1: expecting ope to just because OP can't go on the

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00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:02,600
Speaker 1: vacation that, oh well, it's just a given that you

334
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,520
Speaker 1: should take care of our dogs, but op that's not Yeah,

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00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,480
Speaker 1: not cool. And then Stella Davis is telling OPI to

336
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,800
Speaker 1: calm down, but not sister in law to shut up

337
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:15,720
Speaker 1: and MJ Gross's they think she's a doormat. Kimberly Fine

338
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,760
Speaker 1: says she's awful. Anyone accusing an adult of having a

339
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:22,240
Speaker 1: tantrum or being childish can f all the way off,

340
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:24,359
Speaker 1: so belittling and dismissive.

341
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like your tone, like your tone.

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Speaker 1: Your tone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Oh, but there's a little bit left to the story.

345
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Speaker 1: She was in my wedding. I've been so happy to

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Speaker 1: have her as my sister in law. I have been

347
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:39,360
Speaker 1: nothing but loving to her. Now I see she doesn't

348
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,600
Speaker 1: give an f about me. I'm gutted. It's clear that

349
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 1: she has zero respect for me and probably never even

350
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,320
Speaker 1: liked me. I'm devastated because my family is everything, and

351
00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,560
Speaker 1: I feel like my relationship with my brother will be

352
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Speaker 1: forever altered. She is not the person I thought she was.

353
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Speaker 1: And now I'm not only not watching the dogs, but

354
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Speaker 1: I guess I'm also accepting that I don't have a

355
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Speaker 1: sister like I thought.

356
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Speaker 3: Anytime there's like a little mini outburst like that, it's

357
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,600
Speaker 3: never like it's the first time the person's thought about it.

358
00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,520
Speaker 3: It's never liked They're like, oh, it's like and I'm

359
00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:14,879
Speaker 3: going to say this thing impulsively because now I feel it.

360
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:19,680
Speaker 3: It's like it's been going a while beneath the surface. Yeah,

361
00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 3: and it finally came out. And now OP knows that Op.

362
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Speaker 1: You knows how she feels about her and knows that

363
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,280
Speaker 1: You know, that's not a person that you want to

364
00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:31,440
Speaker 1: be around. That's not an energy. Yeah. But that is

365
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,159
Speaker 1: the end of that story. But we have more and

366
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:39,840
Speaker 1: it's time for us to swap Anthony out. I refuse

367
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,800
Speaker 1: to give any free services to my future cousin in law,

368
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,280
Speaker 1: and she flipped out on me. So I'm way too

369
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 1: gay for this, says I. Twenty female, have been with

370
00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:53,000
Speaker 1: my partner, nineteen female. She there for four years as

371
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:55,879
Speaker 1: of this July. She is quite a bit more family

372
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Speaker 1: than I do, which has always been one of my

373
00:17:57,720 --> 00:18:01,280
Speaker 1: favorite things about them, their family. He treats me like family,

374
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,560
Speaker 1: and I've always felt loved and integrated. I'm a nice person.

375
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:08,240
Speaker 1: I rarely argue with anyone. It makes me very uncomfortable

376
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,960
Speaker 1: and it's not my thing. So this story has been

377
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,840
Speaker 1: eating me up a lot. In March of this year,

378
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,960
Speaker 1: I decided I was going to pursue my dreams and

379
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,320
Speaker 1: being a nail tech. I work a part time job,

380
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,600
Speaker 1: almost thirty hours out of the week at a pre

381
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:23,000
Speaker 1: existing job, so I knew it was going to add

382
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,280
Speaker 1: stress to my life, but I had to start somewhere.

383
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,119
Speaker 1: I grew up super underprivileged. My parents never had money

384
00:18:29,119 --> 00:18:32,360
Speaker 1: growing up, so the moment I turned eighteen, I started

385
00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,280
Speaker 1: paying for everything for myself and even paying some of

386
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:38,480
Speaker 1: my parents' household bills. I built a little nail room

387
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,960
Speaker 1: in my house to start doing friends and family nails

388
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Speaker 1: as practice. After working really hard to purchase all the

389
00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,480
Speaker 1: products to start doing nails, I started talking to friends

390
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,760
Speaker 1: and family. That's what that's your first ditch of grassrootspace.

391
00:18:50,920 --> 00:18:53,000
Speaker 1: That's how the business starts. Yeah, you just get people

392
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,280
Speaker 1: your friends and your family say please ward of mouth. Yeah,

393
00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:59,439
Speaker 1: grab their fingers, just take them, like, let me paint

394
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,639
Speaker 1: on them for free. As I still needed to go

395
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 1: to school and it would be illegal for me to

396
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:08,840
Speaker 1: take real clients at first, I offered all of my

397
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:12,040
Speaker 1: practice girls one or two free sets as I was

398
00:19:12,119 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 1: learning and didn't feel comfortable asking for money. Yet after

399
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:18,080
Speaker 1: that I started charging for very small amounts, like twenty

400
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:20,560
Speaker 1: to thirty dollars and no more, which if you get

401
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:23,920
Speaker 1: nails or nail extensions, you know that's a really cheap set. Yeah.

402
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,480
Speaker 1: Nails are like over one hundred dollars sometime. Yeah, they're expensive.

403
00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 1: I feel like at least seventy eighty Yeah, and then

404
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:32,960
Speaker 1: tip yeap, then you don't forget the tip. Yeah, I've

405
00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:36,000
Speaker 1: never gotten tip expensive nails, but I have a lot

406
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,040
Speaker 1: of friends who get like really cool nails signs and

407
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,520
Speaker 1: the like one hundred and twenty an investment. Yeah. Because

408
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,360
Speaker 1: I have a primary job slash income, I have limited

409
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,679
Speaker 1: time to do nails, though I usually have three to

410
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:49,800
Speaker 1: four clients max in a whole week, usually never on

411
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:52,439
Speaker 1: the same day either. At this point, all of my

412
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:55,640
Speaker 1: clients paid twenty five dollars on average for nails every

413
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,399
Speaker 1: two weeks, which has helped me be able to afford

414
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:01,080
Speaker 1: new supplies that will help me go to school. As

415
00:20:01,160 --> 00:20:03,720
Speaker 1: I'm not making my money doing nails, yet I'm fulfilling

416
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,800
Speaker 1: my education. All the money I make goes into purchasing

417
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:10,920
Speaker 1: things like astne and alcohol, etc. My partner's cousin aka

418
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,520
Speaker 1: my soon to be cousin in law came to me

419
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 1: as one of my first clients. It was very fun

420
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,840
Speaker 1: to work with. I gave her two free sets and

421
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 1: she came in for a third appointment when she was charged.

422
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:27,440
Speaker 1: This particular cousin is very much more privileged than I.

423
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:31,040
Speaker 1: I don't feel comfortable sharing intimate information about her life,

424
00:20:31,119 --> 00:20:33,520
Speaker 1: but I will say she ate off a silver spoon

425
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,840
Speaker 1: growing up and she will never understand the hardships I'm

426
00:20:36,840 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 1: going through financially to build independence, build a business, and

427
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,159
Speaker 1: fund myself through school, all will paying bills and taking

428
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:47,400
Speaker 1: care of myself. Just pausing real quick so we can

429
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,199
Speaker 1: take a look at the situation. So it seems like

430
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:53,520
Speaker 1: OPI right now has been giving a lot of free

431
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:57,159
Speaker 1: sets away but is trying to kind of move to

432
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,760
Speaker 1: paid sets. Building the business, yeah, reinvesting in the business. Yeah.

433
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 1: At what point do you think, like, hey, like, how

434
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,679
Speaker 1: do you say, hey, I'd like to charge for my

435
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,480
Speaker 1: sets now to someone who has been getting them for free?

436
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 1: I think you just gotta be you gotta be straight

437
00:21:13,400 --> 00:21:15,680
Speaker 1: up and just be like, you know, I've been building

438
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:19,119
Speaker 1: I'm getting to the point where my expertise has grown.

439
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,760
Speaker 1: But like I'm going to give you the family and

440
00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,639
Speaker 1: friends discount, you know, make it sound good, like be

441
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 1: like normally it's gonna be fifty dollars, but I'm surety expensive.

442
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:33,639
Speaker 1: But you for you in laws, going to give you

443
00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,160
Speaker 1: the friends and family deal. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's

444
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:37,719
Speaker 1: a great way to do it, because I think that

445
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,560
Speaker 1: your friends and family should be supportive of your business exactly,

446
00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:44,600
Speaker 1: and you've been doing them a favor yeah thus far, exactly,

447
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,080
Speaker 1: So you gotta gotta leverage that. I gotta do that.

448
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,479
Speaker 1: She was given an amazing opportunity lash privileged by her

449
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:55,159
Speaker 1: mom to start working for her at her tattoo business.

450
00:21:55,560 --> 00:22:00,119
Speaker 1: I'm not comfortable sharing too much information other than that

451
00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 1: she wouldn't be where she is if it wasn't for

452
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 1: her generational wealth and privileged life given to her by

453
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,520
Speaker 1: her mom. That's so funny to be like a nepo

454
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 1: baby for a tattoo parlor. Like you're like, you're sitting

455
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 1: there and they're like, oh, how long have you been

456
00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,959
Speaker 1: doing it? And they're like, just a couple of months.

457
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,400
Speaker 1: My mom got me the job. I know. Yeah, I'm

458
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:22,959
Speaker 1: not sure that I would be Well, presumably you have

459
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,800
Speaker 1: to go through a lot of training to get there,

460
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 1: regardless of whether or not like your parents got you

461
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: into it right, Like what if you have no artistic talent,

462
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 1: you're just like stenciling on people permanently, just doodling. Don't worry,

463
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:41,159
Speaker 1: I'm learning. Yeah, I don't know about that business. Yeah model.

464
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 1: One night, she called me and my partner to ask

465
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:47,360
Speaker 1: if we would be interested in a very discounted appointment

466
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 1: with her, to which we both happily accepted as she's

467
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,119
Speaker 1: just starting similar to me, I understand that new business

468
00:22:53,119 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 1: owners need to make their money, so me and my

469
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,680
Speaker 1: partner were going to make sure we tipped her very well.

470
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,679
Speaker 1: I woke up the next morning and it was on

471
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:01,879
Speaker 1: my schedule to check in with all my nail girls,

472
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:04,359
Speaker 1: ask them how their nails are doing and if they

473
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,040
Speaker 1: would like to set up an appointment. My partner's cousin

474
00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:10,880
Speaker 1: then offered me this transaction of service for service. Hey girl,

475
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:12,879
Speaker 1: I'll do your service for free if you can do

476
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 1: my nails two to three times for free. Hmm, that

477
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:22,159
Speaker 1: doesn't seem one to one. It doesn't seem super fair numbers.

478
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 1: The numbers are I'll switch off. You give me three

479
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,680
Speaker 1: nails and I'll give you one tattoo. Well, one tattoo

480
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:32,760
Speaker 1: is permanent. One tattoo is permanent. Nails are temporary. However,

481
00:23:32,800 --> 00:23:36,120
Speaker 1: it I think one it depends how big the tattoo is,

482
00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 1: because I think tattoos can range from like, well size,

483
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 1: so it's like it could be I don't know, I

484
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,240
Speaker 1: don't know what the cheapest tattoo is, but you know,

485
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:44,919
Speaker 1: they can range from one hundred too, you have no

486
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,399
Speaker 1: idea look at me, Yeah, like hundreds or maybe a

487
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:51,400
Speaker 1: thousand dollars. You know, I don't know how much. I'm like, god,

488
00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 1: one hundred to two couple hundred dollars depending on the

489
00:23:56,359 --> 00:24:00,520
Speaker 1: size of the tattoo. Yeah. But on the other hand,

490
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,400
Speaker 1: nails are also pretty expensive, right if they're pretty intricate.

491
00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 1: And also, I think it's weird that she's even asking

492
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 1: for this, because she said, hey, i'll do it for free.

493
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,320
Speaker 1: She'd like. I think it's weird that she said let's

494
00:24:14,359 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 1: do it for free and then went back and reret

495
00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 1: conned it. It was like, actually, well swap services. Yeah,

496
00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: so it's like it was a gift and now it's

497
00:24:22,560 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 1: a trade, yeah, which is a little weird. I think

498
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,560
Speaker 1: bartering is always hard, you know, that's why we kept

499
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 1: it in the old days. No, it's it's moved on. Yeah,

500
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think the bartering is an issue.

501
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,199
Speaker 1: I think it's just the fact that she kind of

502
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 1: changed it from her original offer, which was a gift. Yeah, yeah, No,

503
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,119
Speaker 1: I think that's fair. Also, the two to three is

504
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: just be one to one. Yeah, especially if you're just

505
00:24:46,760 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: starting out. Yeah, party Bradyce's sixty bucks of you. Thank you.

506
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,320
Speaker 1: It's either are either of these people even good at

507
00:24:52,359 --> 00:24:57,879
Speaker 1: what they do? We don't know. Maybe they both stuck forty.

508
00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:00,000
Speaker 1: Brady says. Some people even charge forty for the flash

509
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,200
Speaker 1: sale tattoos, but those are still small. Dixie Blue Steels's

510
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,880
Speaker 1: tattoos are expensive. I actually think it wasn't a bad

511
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,360
Speaker 1: deal if she's a good tattoo er, right. That's the thing,

512
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 1: like we don't know. All we know is that she's

513
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:14,679
Speaker 1: very new and she did originally offer to do it

514
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,879
Speaker 1: for free, which is yeah, gone back on her word there. Yeah,

515
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:20,679
Speaker 1: and Jay Ross depends on how complicated the tattoo is.

516
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,680
Speaker 1: I think there are a lot of if it Yeah,

517
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:25,320
Speaker 1: we don't know that, don't know the specifics yet. She's

518
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,600
Speaker 1: just kind of assuming two to three nails for one tattoo,

519
00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:31,720
Speaker 1: and I think it depends let's keep reading. Agree, I

520
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 1: felt very uncomfortable with this transaction flush offer, as in

521
00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 1: the past, I had already given her two free appointments,

522
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,120
Speaker 1: so she's already gotten that. Yeah, she's gotten her favors already. Yeah,

523
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 1: and I really needed to be charging for my work

524
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,840
Speaker 1: as I have another job on top of nails, and

525
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:48,960
Speaker 1: I have very little time in my life because I'm

526
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 1: working so hard on both jobs. It's important for me

527
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 1: to make money to afford products, and that's it. I

528
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: felt uncomfortable throwing those things at her, so I tried

529
00:25:57,160 --> 00:26:00,560
Speaker 1: gently to compromise. I offer to do one more free

530
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: set for her, and I told her I would continually

531
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,119
Speaker 1: give her twenty percent off. I also let her know

532
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,160
Speaker 1: of some of my seasonal deals coming up and how

533
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 1: she would be eligible to get even more discounts soon.

534
00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:13,359
Speaker 1: I also gently explained that I can't offer too much

535
00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 1: of more services as my business cannot afford that right now. Yeah,

536
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:20,000
Speaker 1: this all seems very fair. I think the fact that

537
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:23,399
Speaker 1: she's already done the two before, it's kind of ridiculous

538
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,000
Speaker 1: that she's saying, oh, give me two to three more

539
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 1: side note another reason why this made me uncomfortable is because, yes,

540
00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,240
Speaker 1: it's not an equal service. By this point, you might

541
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 1: be thinking of her counter argument, but if her service

542
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 1: costs more, why can't you give out free services? Because

543
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: to me, it is less about money. Even though part

544
00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:44,280
Speaker 1: of the problem is money, the problem really is my time.

545
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,480
Speaker 1: One appointment for her may make her a lot of money,

546
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: but she works less time than I do. Make this

547
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,719
Speaker 1: make sense. One hour for her can make her profit

548
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 1: of three hundred and fifty dollars and up. One nail

549
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 1: set for me takes two hours and makes me sixty

550
00:26:58,720 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 1: to one hundred dollars. Three appointments would take me six

551
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,880
Speaker 1: to nine hours of time. Dude, it seems like maybe

552
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,960
Speaker 1: we need to switch lanes and get into into the

553
00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:12,919
Speaker 1: tattoos use your connection, which is a lot of time,

554
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:15,640
Speaker 1: and it would be making money working on other clients

555
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:19,240
Speaker 1: for that amount of time. Yeah, I'm just worried about

556
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,120
Speaker 1: I want this person to start making money. They've invested

557
00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:23,879
Speaker 1: a lot of I'm not seeing where the profit is

558
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:25,480
Speaker 1: coming in. I don't know if that's the I think

559
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,640
Speaker 1: it's also because they're just starting. Yeah, they're just starting.

560
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 1: I think you will make I mean tattoos. You are

561
00:27:30,240 --> 00:27:32,960
Speaker 1: going to make a lot more, yeah, and just in general. Yeah,

562
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:35,919
Speaker 1: but I think this is probably passion is in this.

563
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 4: Well, okay, they'll make a lot more, but with the

564
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:45,240
Speaker 4: client they might come once every year. How often do

565
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 4: you get your nails done? I know you can't answer

566
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 4: because you never get yours done.

567
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't really get my money, but there's a time.

568
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 2: Once every three weeks. Give me a real answer.

569
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:01,840
Speaker 1: After my compromised offer, she proceeded to get very upset

570
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: with me. I'm going to copy and paste your exact

571
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:08,520
Speaker 1: response for clarity. Copy paste quote. I understand your business

572
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,760
Speaker 1: is smaller. I'm not getting all the business in the

573
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:14,120
Speaker 1: world though, either, But your expenses are also much smaller

574
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 1: than mine, which is why I don't feel it's such

575
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,639
Speaker 1: a reach to ask for I'm not upset with you,

576
00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 1: but I'm not making money off y'all or gaining anything

577
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:24,479
Speaker 1: from doing your services. So I'm not really interested in

578
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:26,879
Speaker 1: doing your services because I have bills to pay and

579
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 1: I'm not working for free anymore. Don't take that the

580
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 1: wrong way. But again, our fees are quite different, and

581
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,440
Speaker 1: I think it was a steal of a deal. I'm

582
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:37,800
Speaker 1: genuinely not trying to be an a hole. I love

583
00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 1: y'all and you know that. But I see where we're

584
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,560
Speaker 1: both getting frustrated. So maybe it's just best to not

585
00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:46,640
Speaker 1: do our services for each other right now. Oh wow,

586
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,080
Speaker 1: and pause, what expenses? Didn't don't didn't your parents give

587
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: their parents the ink in the what's it called a drill?

588
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:59,480
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe it is how to uh, I

589
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know yet, gun gun. Yeah, she

590
00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: doesn't need a tattoo. Everyone could use a nail not

591
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,320
Speaker 1: everyone could use a tattoo, Like, she doesn't need it,

592
00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,560
Speaker 1: and so like she's expected again she's going on like oh,

593
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,800
Speaker 1: he was saying, this is going to take more time.

594
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 1: I'm losing more money, and she doesn't need a tattoo,

595
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:21,479
Speaker 1: and so she's losing that customer base that like she

596
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,400
Speaker 1: could be you know, she could be doing another customer

597
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 1: and getting more money, whereas a tattoo is kind of

598
00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 1: like a fun thing that she should she could get, right,

599
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,160
Speaker 1: but she's losing money in the process of doing. Yeah.

600
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,440
Speaker 1: I proceeded to apologize about whatever went wrong in the

601
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: conversation and told her I didn't want to argue, and

602
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 1: I was totally okay paying for my services with my

603
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 1: personal money. Her next response being nice gets you taken

604
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,240
Speaker 1: advantage of which I feel is always happening to me.

605
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 1: So I'm sorry, but I'm putting my foot down. I

606
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 1: still try to give y'all a hell of a deal

607
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,760
Speaker 1: and told you I do your entire service for free

608
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 1: twenty dollars for ex services, which you can see is

609
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,000
Speaker 1: over five hundred and fifty dollars for two or three

610
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,960
Speaker 1: free nails, which is sixty dollars to one hundred. So

611
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 1: she's belittling. Now, my business is licensed and insured. I

612
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,320
Speaker 1: have set prices for a reason and genuinely tried to

613
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 1: give you guys an amazing deal. If you don't want

614
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,120
Speaker 1: to take that, that's not on me, and I don't

615
00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: mind not doing business with you. Nothing personal. That's really personal. Yeah,

616
00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: that sounds really personally. He sounds quite mad about it.

617
00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,840
Speaker 1: I'm also like, why don't you've already gotten free nails

618
00:30:29,880 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: from this person? Like go if you're getting this upset

619
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 1: about it, like, go get your nails done somewhere else. Yeah,

620
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 1: go pay to get your nail pay somewhere else. It's

621
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:43,040
Speaker 1: also just ridiculous that the sister in law or the

622
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 1: cousin in law is acting like she's done this great

623
00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: thing for open, when she hasn't actually given her the

624
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: service yet. Right, right, like no services have been provided.

625
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: The only one who's given anything for free has been Op. Right,

626
00:30:57,400 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 1: it's kind of ridiculous that she's acting this way high

627
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 1: and mighty when she hasn't given anything. Yeah. Turn, and

628
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,560
Speaker 1: he didn't even make it clear that like they were

629
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: interested in a tattoo. He was just like, yeah, here's

630
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 1: a take a tattoo. Here's a tattoo, a tattoo that

631
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 1: she was gonna give her for free, and then switched

632
00:31:14,280 --> 00:31:19,160
Speaker 1: up on very crazy Matt Hadergel says thank you for

633
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 1: the ten buck tip. I actually lost a friend the

634
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,520
Speaker 1: same way as Op. They wanted to me to make

635
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,720
Speaker 1: a headpiece for them with crystals and deer antlers. When

636
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 1: I told her how much it was going to cause,

637
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:31,560
Speaker 1: she got upset with me. It's one thing me making gifts,

638
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:35,640
Speaker 1: it's another at I think you should never expect your

639
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 1: friends or family to make you things you know that

640
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 1: take time and cost money to get materials and stuff,

641
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 1: and then not pay them for their services. Yeah. After

642
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:51,280
Speaker 1: this text message, I started to cry. I didn't know

643
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 1: what to say. He kept sending me paragraph after paragraph,

644
00:31:55,000 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: using really manipulative words to basically say, do you think's

645
00:31:58,560 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 1: more highly of herself and heard his business than she

646
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: does of me and mine? Yeah, but without saying that,

647
00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: you know, I felt she flipped the situation to make

648
00:32:06,680 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 1: me feel like I'm the a hole as I offered

649
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: multiple times to pay for the services and she was

650
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:15,360
Speaker 1: just angry. I was uncomfortable giving away free services myself.

651
00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:17,760
Speaker 1: She said, she's putting her foot down, but I kind

652
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:19,760
Speaker 1: of felt that's what I had to do to protect

653
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 1: myself from being taken advantage of. Yeah, I'm proud of

654
00:32:22,520 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 1: this person. They don't like to be confrontational. Yeah, but

655
00:32:25,560 --> 00:32:28,160
Speaker 1: it's hard. They've accept boundaries set, which I think you

656
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:31,200
Speaker 1: need to do with friends and familyause especially with the business. Yeah,

657
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:33,120
Speaker 1: especially with the business, because then you don't you don't

658
00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 1: want to be taking advantage. Yeah. Well, like I said,

659
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:39,040
Speaker 1: I would have paid for my services no matter how

660
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:41,160
Speaker 1: much she charged. I was willing. I was just not

661
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 1: willing to do that many free sets. I'd rather pay

662
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 1: for my services so we can both make our money.

663
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: This situation has made me realize that in this industry.

664
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 1: I'm really only comfortable trading nail service for nail service.

665
00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,480
Speaker 1: I will not trade my service for a service completely

666
00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: different from mine. As I see, not everyone in the

667
00:32:58,800 --> 00:33:02,080
Speaker 1: industry is going to care about compromising on a trade.

668
00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:04,560
Speaker 1: She has ignored me for almost a week. My partner

669
00:33:04,600 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 1: advised me to stop responding as it's her cousin, and

670
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 1: she said she won't stop until you start ignoring her.

671
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 1: She loves to argue and be mean to people to

672
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 1: get her way. Wow, I'm glad that her partner's on

673
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 1: her side. Yeah, me too, because sometimes we read stories

674
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 1: where the families like stick together and they're like you

675
00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:25,440
Speaker 1: Shu Gobi. Yeah, it seems like they know about their

676
00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:29,280
Speaker 1: cousins of colors. They've seen this before. The last thing

677
00:33:29,320 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 1: I said to her was you are so mean, and

678
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,320
Speaker 1: I didn't really have any intentions of reaching out. I

679
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:39,480
Speaker 1: feel as though I deserve an apology for hers for

680
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 1: making me feel lesser than it felt like it was

681
00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,280
Speaker 1: being bullied the whole time, for not having the time

682
00:33:44,360 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 1: or the money. I feel like she was throwing it

683
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:50,240
Speaker 1: in my face how much more equipped her businesses. It's

684
00:33:50,240 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 1: not my fault that I don't come from generational wealth

685
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: and that I instead come from pretty bad poverty. I'm

686
00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,760
Speaker 1: gonna have to work ten times harder than she ever

687
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,320
Speaker 1: will have to because I'm all on my own. And

688
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,400
Speaker 1: I find it pretty gross to bully someone like that

689
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 1: or even use words to make someone feel lesser than you,

690
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 1: especially financially, and even more especially when that person has

691
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,719
Speaker 1: a lot of financial help. Another side note, everyone in

692
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 1: my partner's family talks about this particular cousin being she

693
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 1: constantly bullies other people and puts them belower with her words. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, kids,

694
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 1: et cetera have all voice to me and my partner

695
00:34:26,040 --> 00:34:29,359
Speaker 1: at some point or another their experiences being bullied by her,

696
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:31,840
Speaker 1: or many have witnessed over the years that she is

697
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:35,839
Speaker 1: a very girl. But what's your opinion? Is my partner right,

698
00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 1: should I disconnect myself from the situation or put some

699
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,799
Speaker 1: space between me and this cousin? Or am I the

700
00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:45,319
Speaker 1: a hole? And this is to answer the question of

701
00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:51,880
Speaker 1: what is expecting too much from family? A deep question? Yeah,

702
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 1: I think expecting services and not giving a fair return

703
00:34:57,719 --> 00:35:01,200
Speaker 1: is too much. Yeah, I think the mixing of the family,

704
00:35:01,920 --> 00:35:05,799
Speaker 1: the relationship, the business. Yeah, it's a lot money. I

705
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 1: can't get money real quick. Yeah. Yeah, I think that

706
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:10,840
Speaker 1: when you are a family member or friend, you should

707
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:15,239
Speaker 1: always offer to pay, and then they can say no, yeah,

708
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 1: you know, while we're doing this for free or I'm

709
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,400
Speaker 1: giving you a discount. Yeah, even if it's a completely

710
00:35:19,520 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 1: empty offer. Yeah, yeah, even if it's like i'll pay. Yeah,

711
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 1: it's just you know, it's just nice, yeah, to do

712
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 1: And then and then also it's just nice for them

713
00:35:28,440 --> 00:35:30,439
Speaker 1: because they get to say, you know, I agree. Yeah,

714
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:31,840
Speaker 1: they get to do a nice thing and you're not

715
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,640
Speaker 1: expecting anything. Sometimes I wonder like those places that say

716
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:39,560
Speaker 1: like best blank restaurant, restaurant in the in the city

717
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,080
Speaker 1: or whatever, or in New York. It's from like that

718
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 1: one article in two thousand and eight, like oh look, look,

719
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 1: well the best Yeah yeah, I don't buy it. Uh.

720
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,920
Speaker 1: Stella Davis says, I have friends who are bakers with

721
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,640
Speaker 1: their own businesses. I would never ask for a free

722
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,360
Speaker 1: cake or freak. Yeah, especially when they're starting out and

723
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 1: clearly not making a profit yet. Yeah. Obviously they should

724
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,560
Speaker 1: also be aware of I'm just starting out, yeah, and

725
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 1: so I shouldn't be reasonable charging for my services. Yeah. No,

726
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 1: she's nasty, she's meany and new family knows it. Yeah,

727
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 1: and I think old family knows that's all. That's all

728
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: you need. Like, I feel like getting the confirmation that

729
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,560
Speaker 1: she just sucks, that she sucks is enough, Like you

730
00:36:22,600 --> 00:36:26,279
Speaker 1: don't need to get more involved. That's like your confirmation

731
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: and you can walk away knowing. Yeah. The people in

732
00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 1: my life where I'm like, oh, this person's still mean

733
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:33,920
Speaker 1: to me, and then I find out that they're meat

734
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,840
Speaker 1: like everyone hates them, I'm like, okay, yeah, there's nothing

735
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 1: worse than when someone's mean to you singularly and you're like,

736
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 1: what mean you guys too? Yeah, come on, and you

737
00:36:44,719 --> 00:36:46,440
Speaker 1: talk about them and they're like, oh no, I mean

738
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,160
Speaker 1: like like you'll talk to your friends or something. Yeah,

739
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 1: And they're like, oh, they're always nice to me. And

740
00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 1: I'm like, it's like, can you please be mean to

741
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:57,640
Speaker 1: other people on my spread? The mean? Yeah? Josephine Madola,

742
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,400
Speaker 1: thank you for the five buck tip. My sister wants

743
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,080
Speaker 1: to buy a painting from me after seeing my art,

744
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 1: and so did my friend after I gave her to

745
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,239
Speaker 1: a surprise gift for them. I will refuse money, but

746
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:11,480
Speaker 1: at least I know they aren't acting entitled expect something

747
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: and be arged yes,