Speaker 1: Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say
Speaker 1: decisions decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty.
Speaker 1: You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, you want to say together the decisions Decisions.
Speaker 3: Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the Sisy Hall
Speaker 3: To Sisy Hall, Listen, my vocals ain't really hit him.
Speaker 3: But I'll never be a superstar singer, but I am
Speaker 3: maybe be Aka paid the sign Aka debts Beach.
Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, I'm weazy. Welcome back to another episode of
Speaker 2: our show. We have a guest today and her bio
Speaker 2: is so long that I'm gonna have to pick my
Speaker 2: favorite things to say. Missouri Hall. She's an any award
Speaker 2: winning TV personality who would be known from what I
Speaker 2: know eve Redcarpet, NBC's Access Hollywood, bringing the energy and empathy.
Speaker 1: She's to who email this growned us?
Speaker 2: Okay warrior, Oh you're from Ohio anyway. She's also a
Speaker 2: global ambassador for the Global Fund of Children. Oh, we
Speaker 2: only talk about the ones that we and yeah, I'll
Speaker 2: don't say it's kids all day over.
Speaker 4: The nois the kids that assault.
Speaker 2: We love the kids, but Zouri Hall is a season host.
Speaker 2: She's known from covering anything from Vanity Fair to Vogue,
Speaker 2: is a style star.
Speaker 1: So I want you guys give it that for Hi, Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for that.
Speaker 5: But I also apologize that you were subjected to have
Speaker 5: to edit that real time.
Speaker 1: Hell up, no, I will tell you this.
Speaker 2: Like we've been talking about having uri, I feel like
Speaker 2: we all alongstage each other something, come on, come on.
Speaker 2: But the reason this one episode happen is the egg
Speaker 2: freezing journeys.
Speaker 1: You're the second person on my timeline.
Speaker 2: I've been seeing Cammy Crawford talk about everything from her
Speaker 2: experience to money, and it was just like, Okay, let's
Speaker 2: let's do this.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And I know that women listening you may want to
Speaker 2: have kids, may not want to kids, may not.
Speaker 1: Even give a shait or say fuck them kids too.
Speaker 2: But I think just even knowing about it, because all
Speaker 2: of our friends that are at this age maybe have
Speaker 2: tossed the idea. And I don't really know how to
Speaker 2: get in conversation about egg freezing as much.
Speaker 1: I've had three friends do it.
Speaker 3: So two of them went through egg freezing for they
Speaker 3: were diagnosed with breast cancer. So having to have their
Speaker 3: eggs frozen before going through chemo, and then another friend
Speaker 3: of mine currently has gone through I think two rounds total,
Speaker 3: still hasn't gotten everything, but two rounds of IVF for
Speaker 3: diminishing ovarian syndrome, which this is my first time hearing
Speaker 3: about it, and I've talked about it because it's a lot.
Speaker 1: She's younger than me, so early thirties.
Speaker 3: And literally trying to save it for later and realize
Speaker 3: so diminishing ovarian syndrome. Basically, even when you have IVF,
Speaker 3: they want to be able to get ten eggs.
Speaker 1: Out of you during this process.
Speaker 3: Now, the IVF is to make you, you know, get
Speaker 3: more eggs and make them. They have to be a
Speaker 3: certain size for them to even retrieve them, for them
Speaker 3: to be able to be considered healthy, for them to
Speaker 3: be able.
Speaker 1: To be frozen.
Speaker 3: Mind you, they can insert this egg later and it
Speaker 3: still doesn't mean it's going to be a full a
Speaker 3: full egg. So basically her going through this, her egg
Speaker 3: count is just drastically low. She has no reason why,
Speaker 3: like and it's just something that's rare. They can't really
Speaker 3: explain it. So in her early thirties, she's not producing
Speaker 3: eggs like she should. So she's gone through two rounds
Speaker 3: and only has three eggs. Three and mind you, with
Speaker 3: insurance it doesn't really matter. It's cost her over seven
Speaker 3: thousand dollars each time for this process help cover some
Speaker 3: of it, some of it, but also the medication that
Speaker 3: she's had to take, and because she has not as
Speaker 3: many eggs, she has to keep doing it. But one
Speaker 3: of the things I do want to share before we
Speaker 3: get into this because it's one of the most amazing
Speaker 3: things Facebook groups. So she was spending so much money
Speaker 3: on the medication. There's women that during their IVF journeys
Speaker 3: end up seriously getting pregnant, like from naturally. And so
Speaker 3: what's dope is if you're in whatever city you are,
Speaker 3: there's normally groups of women that are doing IVF and
Speaker 3: they'll hey, guys, I got my magical baby. If y'all
Speaker 3: if you need any medication, I haven't, And so there's
Speaker 3: women that like share their medications. But yeah, I think
Speaker 3: being being thirty five and having so many friends go
Speaker 3: through fertility journeys in the way that they have, especially
Speaker 3: through egg freezing, has been really interesting to like learn, Yeah, firsthand.
Speaker 5: It's fascinating and it feels like everyone just pops up
Speaker 5: all at once talking about yes, which is awesome but
Speaker 5: also points to what kind of threw me for a
Speaker 5: loop of why was nobody talking about this when we
Speaker 5: were younger and could have been seriously considering their options.
Speaker 1: Right. We're always told, you've guys so much.
Speaker 5: Time, don't worry about it, don't think of like girl,
Speaker 5: focus on your career, do your thing. That is true,
Speaker 5: but there is also the biological truth of what our
Speaker 5: bodies are going to do. And so when I was
Speaker 5: in my twenties, you always think the guy is going
Speaker 5: to be the guy, and it's like.
Speaker 1: The next guy I mean to get girlfud look at him.
Speaker 2: I'll be like, that's our wedding and it's going to
Speaker 2: be where that's my king.
Speaker 1: I'm ready. So that's not how that went.
Speaker 5: And I remember in my late twenties, when I ended
Speaker 5: the relationship that I was in, I was like, you
Speaker 5: know what, I should probably freeze my eggs.
Speaker 1: I always thought I would.
Speaker 3: Be You had this thought in your late twenties, Yes,
Speaker 3: oh okay, but.
Speaker 1: I did not do it, and I don't believe it. Regrets.
Speaker 5: Okay, if I could do that one more time, I
Speaker 5: would because at the time I was at NBC Universal still,
Speaker 5: so I've been at NBC for ten years, but business wise,
Speaker 5: like I was an employee for those first four or
Speaker 5: five years, the last half of my tenure there, I've
Speaker 5: been alone out my own business right myself. But that
Speaker 5: also means I'm covering my own insurance. And I'm employed
Speaker 5: by Zuri Hall and back then because I was an employee,
Speaker 5: they had incredible benefits. So late twenties, broke up with
Speaker 5: the guy I was with, decided I want to freeze
Speaker 5: my eggs. I was working down stop. I was so busy.
Speaker 5: I tried calling. They were like, call your insurance do this.
Speaker 5: Two days into that, I was like, I don't have
Speaker 5: time for this. I would literally rather just figure it
Speaker 5: out whoever my marriage. Yeah, even go through all of
Speaker 5: this insurance stuff because it was so complicated, it wasn't
Speaker 5: easy and I was busy, so I didn't do it,
Speaker 5: even though they covered almost one hundred percent. No way,
Speaker 5: I don't know what I was doing. Well, I know
Speaker 5: I wasn't thinking because I was overworked, exhausted and just
Speaker 5: trying to get through the days. So I didn't end
Speaker 5: up doing it, even though they covered almost the entire procedure.
Speaker 1: And then around.
Speaker 5: Early to mid thirties I started thinking about it again.
Speaker 5: It was because there are things that I want in
Speaker 5: my life. I want to be married, I want to
Speaker 5: have children. I don't want anything in my life more
Speaker 5: than having it and making sure it feel right.
Speaker 2: And a lot of the questions like we're gonna talk
Speaker 2: to you about today are not even just the process,
Speaker 2: but like why because I think some of the things
Speaker 2: that was interesting to me When Cammy froze her eggs,
Speaker 2: I saw a lot of comments like but you got
Speaker 2: me in yeah, you know, and so like that's the ignorance, right,
Speaker 2: They don't get it.
Speaker 1: They don't get it.
Speaker 2: I think it's great to talk about, like even the
Speaker 2: quantity of kids they want to have or just whatever.
Speaker 2: We just are always swing everybody else's couscy. Now we're
Speaker 2: not gonna get yours yet. So we have a few
Speaker 2: lookings to play with you in our favorite game, really,
Speaker 2: I feel like, because it's a fun one to play
Speaker 2: is poetry.
Speaker 1: But we're gonna do a.
Speaker 2: Song, singing it like it's poetry or reading it like
Speaker 2: it's poetry, and you have to guess the song. You
Speaker 2: absolutely know this song, do what you gotta do, keep
Speaker 2: me up all night.
Speaker 5: Hurt, what you canna do night period?
Speaker 1: I'm on.
Speaker 3: Yes, go so good, dam bo good? That mixed up
Speaker 3: like I'm a twelve good Okay, wait.
Speaker 1: Now I want to give you one that don't push
Speaker 1: me too. She said, all right, witch, I got it. Next.
Speaker 1: What's the next game? Because I got one like this one?
Speaker 1: I can't remember. No, Literally that was to me. Lyrics
Speaker 1: are what you know? You know, it's crazy. I make
Speaker 1: up lyrics so much.
Speaker 2: Say I don't know what wait out like that you
Speaker 2: could literally say to the window, to the wall, and
Speaker 2: I'm be like, when what dropped.
Speaker 1: Down the ball dropping?
Speaker 3: No no, no, like when I when I remember.
Speaker 1: I have a I have a homeboy who loves R
Speaker 1: and B.
Speaker 3: And literally like we get to where we'll play, we'll
Speaker 3: play like card games and ship it's R and B
Speaker 3: and we're just saying at the top of our lungs
Speaker 3: all together in unison. So he puts on I want
Speaker 3: to say, it's one twelve Cupid. And so it gets
Speaker 3: to a part and I say truth is and they're like,
Speaker 3: did you just say through truth is? Apparently it's Cupid
Speaker 3: would have got them song and I made up a
Speaker 3: whole another line and my last podcast used to be
Speaker 3: music Bitch.
Speaker 1: I would literally be making up lyrics not all made
Speaker 1: up truth. Kid is nuts, but it's cupid. I don't
Speaker 1: know that young tongue song live live, live loud thing. Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you, no one knows that lyric. Wait
Speaker 1: do it more? Wait, A lot of ship just live
Speaker 1: in lives. What is it? Came from the bottom to
Speaker 1: the top. My life's out. I just hopping on lifestyle.
Speaker 1: That's it, you know what I mean. But we didn't
Speaker 1: know what Missy was staying with reversed. It was a
Speaker 1: sisence that was really reversed ReBs.
Speaker 3: It literally reversed bit And I was like you, maybe
Speaker 3: this is another language because wait, it was at the
Speaker 3: time when that came out. It was at the time
Speaker 3: when like we we as hip hop. I will say,
Speaker 3: I'm blaming y'all culturally appropriated like India.
Speaker 1: So they were like to th thing they had what.
Speaker 3: They didn't say it like god, bro, I'm thinking, like.
Speaker 1: Those words didn't make it India. There was the beat.
Speaker 4: I mean, same thing. Maybe Asian toya gotta mean something.
Speaker 4: It sound like it means something in Asian. Okay, now
Speaker 4: I signed this other game.
Speaker 1: I just made this ship up, so I'm not as
Speaker 1: gonna go one, two, three? Oh okay.
Speaker 2: I got this question and I never one. The second
Speaker 2: one is two okay, and the next one is three.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: You have to craft the perfect date night, but you
Speaker 2: could only go to one place? Where would it be?
Speaker 2: Think of the vibes in activity? Is there fooding around?
Speaker 2: Hottailor's definitely food all of it?
Speaker 1: Okay? Where do you take someone for the perfect date?
Speaker 1: Perfect dating?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 1: Where does she want to be taken to? Or where
Speaker 1: does she takes something?
Speaker 2: Doesn't have to be a hard thing, Okay, maybe plentying
Speaker 2: a great day one place, one place that.
Speaker 1: What's the one place? And I'll see you later at
Speaker 1: five o'clock?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: This is such a fun after there? Okay? One place
Speaker 1: that is a really fun question.
Speaker 5: I mean it's kind of like cliche.
Speaker 1: Yes, what I think?
Speaker 5: The reason it works a spot like Dave and Busters, right,
Speaker 5: or something where you can have.
Speaker 1: In our cage, Yes, an arcade because they have food.
Speaker 5: They got drinks there so you can have a little appetizer,
Speaker 5: little life by maybe one drink.
Speaker 1: I read something recently and then whoop. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean. You get to talk, youre is, you get
Speaker 1: to go back and forth. Stakes are high.
Speaker 5: You can see what their competition game is like all
Speaker 5: they get when they are overly comoyfriend just.
Speaker 2: Made a comment about okay, sorry, now I'm taking it.
Speaker 2: We went on a throttle day. This girl we see
Speaker 2: and we took her to vote. He was okay, but
Speaker 2: we'd already had sex. It was in our next date.
Speaker 2: But he was like, I don't really like activity dates
Speaker 2: because I feel like I'm not in the flirty vibe
Speaker 2: because we're too competitive and we're like now he's like
Speaker 2: with bowling, like it's her turn, then you go play.
Speaker 1: Now it's me and her talking. Know how you that is?
Speaker 1: You gotta slept the ass.
Speaker 3: No, you gotta, you gotta make it warning, you gotta
Speaker 3: start making best make its up. I get to lick
Speaker 3: them nipples to not like I do that. I do
Speaker 3: I do that for oh no, like if you make
Speaker 3: it if you don't want to make it like super friendly,
Speaker 3: you don't you want to make it sexual like you
Speaker 3: just make every you.
Speaker 1: Turn everything into it because you're separate.
Speaker 2: But I do like activity if it's like playing games together.
Speaker 1: For sure, and that makes it a little trigger.
Speaker 5: I've never navigated to throttle dynamics, so I would imagine
Speaker 5: when it's one and two and then once sitting back,
Speaker 5: that's a little tricky or vice versa. But I think, yeah,
Speaker 5: to your point, it can be whatever you make it.
Speaker 5: It can't do with sexual You can just be chill friendly.
Speaker 2: And I feel like I don't have to do it.
Speaker 3: And and if anyone has ever gone, I went on
Speaker 3: a date before I left New York to there's like
Speaker 3: an arcade in Chinatown, but it's like all these old
Speaker 3: school games, and just from a nostalgic being in your
Speaker 3: thirties and playing pat Man and ship like that, I
Speaker 3: was like, oh, this is really cute, like and so
Speaker 3: it was fun.
Speaker 1: And then after that you get to go get fucking
Speaker 1: dumplings and boba tate exactly. You know, well that's adding
Speaker 1: to Okay, now, now I'm gonna really sound like a
Speaker 1: hu tar me out, Okay, no judgment listening. We listen
Speaker 1: and we judged. We listening and we judged the perfect date.
Speaker 2: So to me, the perfect date means you spend like
Speaker 2: all day together, okay, and I can only go one place.
Speaker 1: Okay, let's say we're in l A. I'm gonna pick.
Speaker 2: Let's say the addition, Okay, we're gonna go to the
Speaker 2: pool during the day. Then we're gonna go to the
Speaker 2: spa that you're cheating, and then we're gonna have to.
Speaker 1: You see how she changed. Question. Now, here's number two.
Speaker 1: Me while I'm at David.
Speaker 2: Buster's for two hours speaking to two not like what
Speaker 2: I need to be in this.
Speaker 1: Mine's three.
Speaker 2: You're me your dream man physically fine as books, but
Speaker 2: he can only excel in two out of the five
Speaker 2: love languages.
Speaker 1: So what are they going to be?
Speaker 2: For a reminder for everyone here, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts,
Speaker 2: acts of service, and physical touch.
Speaker 1: Fine, he only gonna be good at two of them.
Speaker 5: That is a great question. My love languages were one
Speaker 5: thing for so many years. I got curious about myself
Speaker 5: and how I changed since the last time I took
Speaker 5: the test, which would have been seven or eight years ago,
Speaker 5: and was surprised to.
Speaker 1: Realize, no, they changed.
Speaker 5: She changed, which is such a reflection of where I
Speaker 5: am in my life now makes.
Speaker 1: Matters in so these days?
Speaker 5: My number one is quality time, So he's got to
Speaker 5: be good at that.
Speaker 1: That matters to me. I work a lot. I would
Speaker 1: imagine he very busy too.
Speaker 5: In a perfect world, he's doing something and that he
Speaker 5: loves and is passionate about, and so our time together
Speaker 5: becomes all the more sacred.
Speaker 1: So quality times work, So that now what else is
Speaker 1: finance too?
Speaker 2: You know when I say it's fine, those.
Speaker 1: Are my facto service. I was gonna say, act.
Speaker 3: Of service and quality time are like why are they
Speaker 3: for you? So it used to be gifts and physical touch?
Speaker 3: Are you saying like if if a if a man
Speaker 3: got me gifts and fucked me good, just another man?
Speaker 3: But now someone who can come in and just make
Speaker 3: my life simpler, Like I want someone who adds and
Speaker 3: makes Like this is gonna sound so cliche, we saying
Speaker 3: cliche shit up here today, but like saying, you want
Speaker 3: someone to be your peace. So for me, if you
Speaker 3: can come in and make my life easier, like and
Speaker 3: it's so funny because one of the things that I mean,
Speaker 3: I get made fun of on here if a man
Speaker 3: come to my house.
Speaker 1: But like my boyfriend just.
Speaker 3: Recently did in the house, make one of my boyfriends,
Speaker 3: but he came over, spent some time in Atlanta and
Speaker 3: before leaving for his flight. Not only did he make
Speaker 3: my bed, he took the trash out. He don't even
Speaker 3: live to ask, didn't have to ask. He started picking
Speaker 3: up the bags, the empty bottles because we had a
Speaker 3: good time, and he's like, where's your where's your dumpster?
Speaker 3: I want to make sure I take your trash out
Speaker 3: before I leave, And I'm just like he listened to
Speaker 3: the No, he's never will wed.
Speaker 1: He ain't nothing. No, he's had this trash cank for
Speaker 1: five years. Well, it's not even that.
Speaker 3: I was in my first relationship at twenty nine going
Speaker 3: to the thirty right, that relationship, how you said seven
Speaker 3: years ago it was one way, seven years later, it's another.
Speaker 3: It's because I went through this relationship and I was
Speaker 3: able to be like, this is what I like, and
Speaker 3: it had nothing to do with any gifts he bought me. Yes,
Speaker 3: sex was great, but it started to be it was
Speaker 3: an intimate thing that I started appreciating with my partners
Speaker 3: and then it changed to that. But those are my
Speaker 3: top two right there as well. And I don't think
Speaker 3: men know how to show up that way fully. So
Speaker 3: when you get it, like a lot of men will
Speaker 3: lead with their wallets. So that's the gift giving right.
Speaker 3: Then you have, of course physical touch. You have a
Speaker 3: man that'll you know, do all those things. And then
Speaker 3: words of affirmations has always been the last one. I
Speaker 3: don't need you to I don't have a praise kid,
Speaker 3: and I know that that's something. But yeah, the older
Speaker 3: you get those other two. Oh baby, yeah, take trash.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like this. Listen. Are you ready for
Speaker 1: the three? Yes? Three? Yes?
Speaker 2: This one is simple. Now I call it a whole bag.
Speaker 2: I'm sure a nice lady like call it the overnight bag.
Speaker 1: Yes, the overnight bag. You can only put three things
Speaker 1: in the bag. Oh what are those three? Oh my god? Okay,
Speaker 1: overnight bag.
Speaker 2: Now, let's just say you know, you know you're gonna
Speaker 2: be over there that night, but also he might take
Speaker 2: you somewhere the next day. No, no, no, hey, that
Speaker 2: is a let's just say it's not the fit.
Speaker 1: But what's in the what's in the bat and what
Speaker 1: do I need?
Speaker 5: I'm going to assume that there is listening, toothpaste and
Speaker 5: an extra toothbrush.
Speaker 3: And especially if he's a hope, I would say I
Speaker 3: think the extra tooth the extra toothbrushes for like, okay, I.
Speaker 2: Guess I forget I did. I did too, but I
Speaker 2: mean hot take about the toothbrush thing. So one of
Speaker 2: my friends starts blacking about this dude having a bit
Speaker 2: a lot of toothbrushes.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this just seems so normal to me. I
Speaker 1: know you're upset. She's like, I'm in Missouri. Nobody's visiting
Speaker 1: his name.
Speaker 2: She's like, maybe if you live in New York, LA,
Speaker 2: people come through for the weekend.
Speaker 1: Ain't nobody's visiting anyone else.
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying that I do believe that people
Speaker 3: visit too.
Speaker 1: Me too. So then I was like, maybe here, any
Speaker 1: big family guy, maybe people do. I love it. I
Speaker 1: love mis Zouri was like, let me let y'all know
Speaker 1: my breath. Do not think. But I'm gonna assume he
Speaker 1: got out of that.
Speaker 5: So I'm not pecking it record for the record dental
Speaker 5: high ortante period. But I'm just you said he got it, Okay, yes, yes, yes, okay,
Speaker 5: So I am bringing Can I bring it off? Change
Speaker 5: of clothes? You're saying I don't need to bring you
Speaker 5: change of clothes. I look, I am a very easy,
Speaker 5: momentous person. Honestly, I don't need much a period payies.
Speaker 2: Like if you want your you're bringing sexy lingerie that's
Speaker 2: in the bag.
Speaker 1: Oh no, I don't even think about that. Just change
Speaker 1: she said, change draw tomorrow. Yes, so sexy lingdre wouldn't
Speaker 1: be in the whole bay. Okay, not every man gets lingerie.
Speaker 1: That's a lot. I feel like you got it.
Speaker 3: We got a plan that I'm not just bringing a
Speaker 3: lingerie over a man house.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's just like my bag and it's probably not.
Speaker 1: Even okay, I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: If it's the first time, these gonna be the nicest
Speaker 2: pulling up and that those.
Speaker 3: Did if it's the first time, Like, I don't need
Speaker 3: to because youre gonna pick them up because ain't gonna
Speaker 3: change it.
Speaker 5: That was okay, I'm bed dramatic to be like one second.
Speaker 1: And then do it, because but I've been in that moment.
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is dupid.
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm gonna see it's But what's your makeup
Speaker 2: essential for the next day?
Speaker 1: Okay, makeup essential?
Speaker 5: I would say mascara and that's it because I just
Speaker 5: need to fluff my brows.
Speaker 1: I get them together and then I'll do a swipe.
Speaker 5: So the lashes pop, and then I tried to prioritize skincare,
Speaker 5: so I don't need to do it if I don't
Speaker 5: have to do like a full face. So and I'm
Speaker 5: pretty much bear face when I'm not what are your.
Speaker 1: Three items on it?
Speaker 2: Lingerie and my lip duo? I don't need to make
Speaker 2: up either, just to lip pombo. But the thing with
Speaker 2: the bonnet, like, I.
Speaker 1: Wait a second bonnet on? Is this a first night?
Speaker 1: Bring the bag either way? Okay? Oh I want the
Speaker 1: bonnet on. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2: And also I love that and I have like my
Speaker 2: boyfriend we've been together for two years now, but he
Speaker 2: got locked and so did the men before him.
Speaker 1: We all grab bonus on everybody. Girl.
Speaker 2: You should see when my mama called late night we
Speaker 2: beat a bed together, she'd be like, what's right?
Speaker 1: Man? Bone it too fine? On it? That's not singing?
Speaker 1: We go to bed.
Speaker 2: I love it, though I also felt like when I
Speaker 2: was younger, and I don't know if you guys can
Speaker 2: attest to this, or maybe it's only me, I wanted
Speaker 2: to do a lot more before going a bit.
Speaker 1: I wanted to wake up a lot more different. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I got it, uh, now, not so much.
Speaker 2: But the linguery is actually more for me than that, Yeah,
Speaker 2: because I like, I kind of feel like I'm lacking
Speaker 2: on me sometimes, like I don't realize how much I
Speaker 2: am low efforts sometimes be like I'm gonts sgard you
Speaker 2: Zuri we do a sex spot, I'm not a Yeah,
Speaker 2: I assume you're gonna get there and you should just
Speaker 2: be happy. That's not true.
Speaker 1: Like I had really good sex recently.
Speaker 2: I was wearing a button up and I left it
Speaker 2: on and he was like, you don't understand what that
Speaker 2: didn't me Like, I don't know. We so like used
Speaker 2: to nakedness, He's like, but I was just like, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm sneaking. He's like, I had to ship in my
Speaker 2: head like it was my teacher was so to me,
Speaker 2: It's like we're not dressing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So now it's made me want to step it up. Okay,
Speaker 1: I do we move on to eggs, so I do
Speaker 1: want to ask you.
Speaker 2: The clip actually didn't pull up, but one of the
Speaker 2: clips that I had pulled up. We have a reactionary segment.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry this is so unprofessional watching, but one
Speaker 2: of the clips was a hot take and the girl
Speaker 2: basically said, my hot take is I'm sick of people
Speaker 2: saying that they need a boundary to show up for themselves,
Speaker 2: like we sometimes choosing ourselves as a fault. Don't tell
Speaker 2: me if I had friends with my friends, but I
Speaker 2: chose myself that it's my boundary no show.
Speaker 1: Up for people, And that sounds like a breeding ground
Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, I wish I could, Yeah, but it
Speaker 1: was no.
Speaker 2: It was eight second clip. But one of the things
Speaker 2: that it made me think about was the egg freezing thing.
Speaker 2: Are we choosing ourselves to a fault? And I asked
Speaker 2: this because before my partner, the last guy I dated,
Speaker 2: it was short lived, he was on the road, he
Speaker 2: was an actor, and I didn't really live in LA
Speaker 2: so we're back and forth. But when I discussed egg
Speaker 2: freezing with him, he said, are you so jaded or
Speaker 2: like down or just pointed by love that your mind
Speaker 2: is solely focused on having kids alone?
Speaker 1: So well, why does it have to be so binary?
Speaker 1: Why is it so black and white?
Speaker 5: Why if I'm interested in this, am I afraid of
Speaker 5: dying alone?
Speaker 1: And that's my only option? Completely agree and protecting all
Speaker 1: of my options.
Speaker 2: So the thing he said that I mean you think
Speaker 2: about that clip was I feel like I can't say
Speaker 2: this to you because you're just gonna be like you
Speaker 2: want to choose yourself?
Speaker 1: And he said, so.
Speaker 2: Many times I'm dating women where they're like trying to
Speaker 2: tell me all these things like me, me, me, me,
Speaker 2: and they say nothing that welcomes me into their life.
Speaker 2: And I actually thought egg freezing. At that age, I
Speaker 2: wasn't thirty four, which I am now, But to me,
Speaker 2: if it was today, it's a plus for you.
Speaker 1: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: What if you're meeting me at forty and forty is
Speaker 2: the scary age, I feel like for women with childbirth,
Speaker 2: So wouldn't you be happy? So I really want to
Speaker 2: pose that question to you of like, do you think
Speaker 2: that your process maybe been something that men you were
Speaker 2: dating or men that was in your life questions?
Speaker 1: That's a great question.
Speaker 5: No, actually, thankfully I've not experienced that at the.
Speaker 1: Time I was. So I've done four rounds. I've done
Speaker 1: four rounds.
Speaker 5: So it was since over the course of about a
Speaker 5: year i'd given myself I promised myself that I was
Speaker 5: going to get this done by the age of thirty six.
Speaker 5: I'm thirty seven now, so it was time and I
Speaker 5: am an over a cheaper in pretty much everything. So
Speaker 5: even with my egg freezing, I'm like, I'm gonna phrase
Speaker 5: as many acts, right, And so for me to hit
Speaker 5: the number that.
Speaker 1: I wanted to hit I needed, I ended.
Speaker 5: Up needing three to four rounds. Four rounds right, expensive
Speaker 5: again expensive because those first three rounds, Yeah, we're all
Speaker 5: out of pocket.
Speaker 1: Again, no insurance covered that.
Speaker 3: And it is not cheap, not only that, for you
Speaker 3: to do that as a working woman. And when I
Speaker 3: say working, it's a woman Like my friend took a
Speaker 3: break from it because of how a exhausting like it
Speaker 3: was to do it, but also you have to do
Speaker 3: your checkups, so she had to take off certain days
Speaker 3: of work and so during the process she's like, I
Speaker 3: missed out on so many days of work because you
Speaker 3: have your appointment and you got to make it. So
Speaker 3: for you to do that for a full year is
Speaker 3: a lot of sacrifice professionally as well.
Speaker 1: And I don't think people talk about that often.
Speaker 3: It was.
Speaker 1: It was a lot.
Speaker 2: Let's get talanmular about it. Then, Like, what exactly is
Speaker 2: the step one boom? I want to freeze my eggs?
Speaker 2: All I know about that is they hand you some
Speaker 2: shots to start shooting up your hormone, like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so what is it?
Speaker 5: And I do want to say that, but just to
Speaker 5: answer that question really about the men in one.
Speaker 1: Life, I will say it.
Speaker 5: To me helps me understand more quickly where a man
Speaker 5: was in his life and what you guys did right,
Speaker 5: because if a man was looking forward to fatherhood, it
Speaker 5: comforted him where sometimes I think men, deep down, whether
Speaker 5: they'll admit it or not, if they meet a woman
Speaker 5: of a certain age and they know they want to
Speaker 5: be a dad one day, it's like, oh, you're incredible,
Speaker 5: you're brilliant, you're beautiful or whatever.
Speaker 1: You're also what ever might be a heart.
Speaker 5: So either I don't want to feel pressured with you
Speaker 5: to have this baby asap, even though I have one eventually,
Speaker 5: or I as a man and maybe deep down wondering,
Speaker 5: can you even have my babies once the time is right?
Speaker 1: And that's a question that I think a lot of men.
Speaker 3: Luckily now with the conversation, a lot men are either
Speaker 3: too shy to ask the question around fertility, especially an
Speaker 3: older woman who has no kids, it's like can you
Speaker 3: even have them?
Speaker 1: And that becomes a conversation.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately too, it's one that is touching online because it's like,
Speaker 3: there's not a really respectful way to ask that.
Speaker 1: It's hard.
Speaker 3: It's hard, it just is it's a complicated question to
Speaker 3: ask one and you it's one of those like where
Speaker 3: you know, how they say you shouldn't ask a woman
Speaker 3: her age, It's that's there too.
Speaker 1: You shouldn't ask a woman where's your kid or.
Speaker 3: Why she doesn't have kids. It's one of those questions
Speaker 3: where you're just not supposed to ask. Yeah, but you
Speaker 3: shouldn't ask if.
Speaker 1: They have No. You shouldn't ask why don't you have kids? Yes?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: Why?
Speaker 3: You know, it's one of those writ it's a personal
Speaker 3: thing that or taught don't even yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that is also frustrating.
Speaker 5: I empathize with and have compassion for the men and
Speaker 5: the women in this equation, right because if I'm a man,
Speaker 5: I want to know what I'm signing up for. It
Speaker 5: doesn't mean I won't still sign up for it. But
Speaker 5: then there is some some hesitation around being inappropriate, crossing
Speaker 5: a line, triggering a woman potentially what you don't want
Speaker 5: to do. But these are conversations that I think we
Speaker 5: men and women need to get more comfortable having with
Speaker 5: each other. I will say this last round, these last
Speaker 5: rounds that I was doing, I was traveling a lot.
Speaker 5: I was doing injections. I remember, I was doing them
Speaker 5: for and after award shows.
Speaker 1: How long are you doing it? For the red carpet
Speaker 1: I was.
Speaker 5: I had to inject from my car because the red
Speaker 5: carpet wrapped out a certain.
Speaker 3: Has every time, the same same day, yeah, same time,
Speaker 3: every day.
Speaker 5: Wherever I was at nine to fifteen pm didn't matter,
Speaker 5: did not matter. So those needles were everywhere with me.
Speaker 5: I learned to travel like a pro tsa pre check.
Speaker 5: They hated to see me coming because it was a
Speaker 5: bag full of needles, syringes, formulas.
Speaker 1: I was hosting a gala in London. Oh, so suddenly
Speaker 1: I'm having to do the math, the math for the
Speaker 1: time difference at like one am or whatever it was,
Speaker 1: to do the shots that I was dating at the time,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 3: And it impacts here, It impacts are you when you
Speaker 3: can have sex to write or no?
Speaker 1: Yeah, wait, love is this version? It does.
Speaker 5: Not really not really okay, you can do what you're
Speaker 5: gonna do. The only time that that sort of becomes
Speaker 5: a part of consideration is around the time that you're
Speaker 5: about to retrieve, retreating daily, especially immediately post retreatal.
Speaker 1: You don't want any post retrieval. You can't, you don't
Speaker 1: want anyone in there. Yes, yes, you're just so uncomfortable. Yes,
Speaker 1: so daily and how long does do you take shots?
Speaker 5: So cycles normally, like retrieval cycles, essentially normally go between
Speaker 5: ten to fourteen days of daily or nightly injections.
Speaker 1: You work with your doctor to determine what time that's
Speaker 1: gonna be. They obsessively monitor your hormone levels. So for
Speaker 1: this last round that I did actually with Ova egg
Speaker 1: Freezing at Chicago, they're incredible. I highly recommend them.
Speaker 5: I was going into the office probably every other day, wow,
Speaker 5: to do my blood work, to check my hormone levels,
Speaker 5: to do the ultrasound and see.
Speaker 1: How big and juicy those follicles that the windows are
Speaker 1: so small.
Speaker 3: If anything's off, they'll have to like change your door, like, oh,
Speaker 3: they'll have to switch medication.
Speaker 1: Help every day that we're going up on this hormone.
Speaker 1: We need reined in on this. It is truly a science.
Speaker 5: And so I say ten to fourteen because you could
Speaker 5: think it's going to take you ten days, it could
Speaker 5: take you fourteen your body.
Speaker 1: Needs more hormones, or ooh, these eggs get real big.
Speaker 1: We need to take about now, because it's ye.
Speaker 5: Like, if they mature and then get beyond that, they
Speaker 5: still get tossed. Right, if they don't mature enough, they
Speaker 5: get tossed. I used to think when I first came
Speaker 5: into this, Oh, however, many eggs y'all see on the ultrasound,
Speaker 5: Let's go, that's somebody coming out.
Speaker 1: But that's not the case.
Speaker 5: So even when they retrieve them, let's say hypothetically you
Speaker 5: get six ten eggs drawn, right, I'm not talking about
Speaker 5: my number specifically, but just for example, sixteen eggs drawn,
Speaker 5: you still have to wait another day or so to
Speaker 5: find out how many of those survived retrieval and were
Speaker 5: actually mature enough to be frozen. So sixteen you drew,
Speaker 5: could easily become nine or ten frozen eggs.
Speaker 3: And I think the other part that has been the
Speaker 3: most interesting that I just found out as well, is
Speaker 3: not only is this process costly, right, you have to
Speaker 3: pay for storage yep, nine hundred dollars for storage of
Speaker 3: the eggs until you decide to use them, until you
Speaker 3: find a partner. And like my friend had one of
Speaker 3: my friends had her eggs retrieved. Oh my god, maybe
Speaker 3: like four years ago now, and so to hear about
Speaker 3: like like how she got to.
Speaker 1: Pay credit card car.
Speaker 3: No, there's a storage feet for her to be for
Speaker 3: those eggs to be storage.
Speaker 1: So it stored in a cryo facility.
Speaker 2: Like people listening that think the storage is crazy, Yes,
Speaker 2: you really do. And it's basically to me, it's part
Speaker 2: of the thing where we had a friend of ours,
Speaker 2: friend of the show and author, Liz Goldwyn. So she's
Speaker 2: also a sexpert sex author and has her books on it,
Speaker 2: and she said to me when I was about to freeze,
Speaker 2: I feel like you have now been part of the
Speaker 2: spear mongering. I said this Tar at thirty, I feel
Speaker 2: like you've been part of spear mongering. You just told
Speaker 2: me your mom had you at forty. Why are you
Speaker 2: so fucking scared? Stop freaking out. Don't put your body
Speaker 2: through this. Just try first. There's Chinese medicine, there's all
Speaker 2: these different ways. Everybody I know is having kids later, like,
Speaker 2: why are you obsessing about this egg freezing and basically
Speaker 2: said to me, like, do you understand how much it'll
Speaker 2: cost you later if you do it young? Like what
Speaker 2: if you end up getting pregnant. You're just sitting here
Speaker 2: holding on And part of that thing was storage. Yeah,
Speaker 2: She's like, it'll be a constant reminder of just like
Speaker 2: boom here it is here, don't forget blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: And she's like, there's a lot high to even having
Speaker 2: those eggs in the world.
Speaker 1: Have you egg freezing? By the way?
Speaker 3: Okay, I was I was gonna ask you that question.
Speaker 3: Have you had a woman question your decision for that?
Speaker 3: And how does that make you? Like?
Speaker 1: Like what?
Speaker 3: Those conversations kind of made me back, I thought.
Speaker 1: Liz is on our book Yeah Love Liz.
Speaker 2: Liz was talking to a thirty year old girl who
Speaker 2: was freaking out and very scared about never finding love.
Speaker 2: So I want to thank Liz for that conversation because
Speaker 2: I do think that we can't encourage.
Speaker 1: People both ways.
Speaker 2: There are people that are obsessive and overly scared and
Speaker 2: freaking out. And I think that really was what I
Speaker 2: needed at the time. Yeah, because it is true. She's like,
Speaker 2: there are a lot of times you'll go into a
Speaker 2: doctor She's like, nothing's fucking wrong with you.
Speaker 1: Brother, They're pushing you.
Speaker 2: They want you to spend this money, like, don't let
Speaker 2: some male doctor push you the wrong way if you.
Speaker 1: Agree with her about that. Yeah, And she's spot on.
Speaker 1: I think it's too distinct and yet sort of neighborly conversations. Right.
Speaker 5: There is a conversation around the emotions that come with
Speaker 5: our fertility or lack thereof, our future children or lack thereof,
Speaker 5: and then there's also a conversation around just the process.
Speaker 5: And sometimes when those two things intersect, I think because women,
Speaker 5: people I love and trust, people who are strangers who
Speaker 5: are giving unsolicited opinions to me.
Speaker 1: Have said, do you really think you need to do that?
Speaker 1: Are you still so young?
Speaker 5: Or girl, I got pregnant at forty two or whatever,
Speaker 5: And I love to hear those stories of people getting
Speaker 5: pregnant at forty forty plus. I'm not saying I can't
Speaker 5: or wouldn't be one of those people. I'm not even
Speaker 5: entirely sure that I wouldn't try naturally first, right, But
Speaker 5: for me, it was truly a conscious decision to just
Speaker 5: give myself another option most people, Statistically speaking, most women
Speaker 5: who freeze their eggs do not end up.
Speaker 1: Throwing them for the sake of andel were using them.
Speaker 5: They end up getting pregnant naturally or not going on
Speaker 5: a pregnancy journey themselves, And yet overwhelmingly they've acknowledged that
Speaker 5: they still did not regret the choice the choice because
Speaker 5: it felt like they bought themselves some peace of mind.
Speaker 1: What ages did you do with that?
Speaker 5: I did it between the ages of about thirty four
Speaker 5: or thirty five. When I started, it was pretty much
Speaker 5: pretty much my thirty fifth year of the life that
Speaker 5: I was like knocking it out. I was done by
Speaker 5: thirty six, so I think sometime in that window.
Speaker 1: But again, I gave myself to thirty six, so I know.
Speaker 1: It was funny.
Speaker 3: One of my friends who froze her eggs doesn't want
Speaker 3: children and is still paying for the storage just in
Speaker 3: case it changes. She thought she wanted children when she
Speaker 3: got them frozen. Really could well. First off, I ain't
Speaker 3: even got a man. She like, you like, She's like, girl,
Speaker 3: I gotta find somebody. I like first She's might take
Speaker 3: twenty years, you know, you know, okay, but literally is
Speaker 3: in a phase now where doesn't even want kids. But
Speaker 3: it's still because you know, we all do change our minds,
Speaker 3: that's it. So I like your your response and just
Speaker 3: saying like listen. What might not work for you may
Speaker 3: work for someone else. Yeah, it's strange because I had
Speaker 3: to and it's still everywhere if you guys want to
Speaker 3: go listen to it. I'm really big on just reproductive
Speaker 3: health for women, especially with all of the things that
Speaker 3: my closest friends have had to deal with, and one
Speaker 3: of the things specifically about me being a woman who
Speaker 3: doesn't want kids, it was very important for me to
Speaker 3: support any woman's decision to choose to have eggs. But
Speaker 3: not only that, when you look at genetically within your family,
Speaker 3: Like my other friend who had the breast cancer, there
Speaker 3: was an urge for her sister to have a double
Speaker 3: missextomy didn't find anything, but when things running your bloodline
Speaker 3: and things like that, you got to do things in
Speaker 3: a preventative care way. That it's important for anyone listening
Speaker 3: to push your friends to do preventative care. Totally like
Speaker 3: because I like that, whether you decide to use them
Speaker 3: or not, whether you know I think this is.
Speaker 1: Actually very nuanced convo. It is.
Speaker 2: I believe everything told me today. If she would have
Speaker 2: pushed me to do that, it would have heightened my
Speaker 2: fear that I was already building on where I was
Speaker 2: in that moment, which a lot of people are, which
Speaker 2: is why I want to keep reiterating it. And also,
Speaker 2: this is someone that I really love and trust and
Speaker 2: know is so pro everything. The woman's been talking about
Speaker 2: sex and documenting it for over twenty years.
Speaker 1: Of her life.
Speaker 2: There are a lot of people that choose egg freezing
Speaker 2: because of love and partnership over themselves. There was nothing
Speaker 2: about me when I came to her, and that to me,
Speaker 2: that scarcity mindset of like I'm gonna die alone, shit
Speaker 2: is really a fucking problem that now I'm.
Speaker 1: Thinking of this, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I must say, like the mindset that you have to
Speaker 2: be in for egg freezing is also a strong one
Speaker 2: because it's a lot on your body. Yes, So it's
Speaker 2: like I'm already in this flighty mood of going through
Speaker 2: a breakup.
Speaker 1: It was old Bay.
Speaker 2: He's someone I read about a book and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, So now there's no one Yeah, because
Speaker 2: to me, there's got to be a lot of power
Speaker 2: in this choice.
Speaker 1: You're right, and I felt like I didn't have it.
Speaker 1: That is, I really appreciate that perspective.
Speaker 5: I have friends who've gone through the process with that feeling.
Speaker 1: I have been afraid.
Speaker 5: Don't get me wrong, I've had moments licking up it
Speaker 5: say like I am gonna die alone?
Speaker 1: What's what we're doing right?
Speaker 5: But overwhelmingly, like I said, there's nothing I want more
Speaker 5: than doing it or getting it in the right way,
Speaker 5: the way that feels right for me. And so as
Speaker 5: much as I want marriage, I want kids, I'm never
Speaker 5: going to rush that process.
Speaker 1: So it wasn't from a place of fear.
Speaker 5: It was just from a place of I know, I'm
Speaker 5: never going to choose out of desperation, which means I
Speaker 5: might be single for a while.
Speaker 1: Let me just do this.
Speaker 5: Thing over here, because I know for sure I want children.
Speaker 5: So I will say there were a lot of emotions
Speaker 5: with it. I didn't feel fear so much as sometimes
Speaker 5: rushing loneliness of like you know, injecting yourself every night
Speaker 5: through a chapter of singleness.
Speaker 1: And there were moments where I was angry. I didn't
Speaker 1: even know what you were angry. That's so odd a.
Speaker 5: Wife, how unfair it can be for women to have
Speaker 5: to be the ones to carry this labor. Sometimes I
Speaker 5: know I'm injecting it, I'm doing it for me because
Speaker 5: I want to be a mom. I know that, hands down,
Speaker 5: but some I also know I want to do it
Speaker 5: with a partner. I know those two things, right, And
Speaker 5: so going through those injections, exhausted, working NonStop, traveling, pay
Speaker 5: out of pocket, I got a dog like, I got
Speaker 5: doings to pay and I'm doing this and it's like,
Speaker 5: what am I doing this for?
Speaker 1: Who am I doing this for? When will I even
Speaker 1: see a return on this?
Speaker 5: So in certain moments, yeah, I get overwhelmed and the
Speaker 5: emotions would skew into sort of negativity or overwhelmed. But
Speaker 5: more than that, and I mean the eighty percent of
Speaker 5: my experience was rooted in empowerment. I felt like I
Speaker 5: was giving myself a gift that I had the privilege
Speaker 5: of being.
Speaker 1: Able to before.
Speaker 5: It is expensive, right, how much did you spend so
Speaker 5: each cycle you've kind of got, you're looking at around
Speaker 5: seven to eight thousands just to kind of get it done.
Speaker 5: But then the medicine, that's what medicine is not considered.
Speaker 5: I think I certainly didn't give much pops to me
Speaker 5: until it was time for me, and.
Speaker 1: It was like, that is twelve hundred dollars of like
Speaker 1: probably like three to four k a pop just just
Speaker 1: on the medication moones.
Speaker 5: You need more se more meds. You thought you were
Speaker 5: doing a ten day round, now you're doing fourteen days.
Speaker 1: No more days.
Speaker 5: Is easily hundreds, if not into the thousands of dollars,
Speaker 5: depending on what your dosages are, right, and.
Speaker 3: You have to keep them cool, like keep them in
Speaker 3: a certain temperature rated. Yeah, it's a lot, especially if
Speaker 3: you're traveling. You gotta do the ice pack.
Speaker 1: You gotta do.
Speaker 3: It's a whole like science project.
Speaker 2: Yes, like donated so much money and like did all
Speaker 2: these like fundraisers for it, and it was so random
Speaker 2: to see, but I was like, yo, it really is
Speaker 2: like when you're living with money from a place of
Speaker 2: privilege and being like fuck, these problems affect everybody.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I never.
Speaker 2: Considered how expensive would be until about homegirls like not
Speaker 2: vil vado conversation.
Speaker 1: Not borrow fifteen and dollars. I'm like casual.
Speaker 2: Oh, like yeah, we've been good friends a long time.
Speaker 2: But she's got money, you know, like you know, she's
Speaker 2: not down and out, So it's a weird like this bitch,
Speaker 2: I ain't never ask you for money. She like, look,
Speaker 2: I'm not to quit my job. They cover and half
Speaker 2: the eggs. So I thought, let me get this done
Speaker 2: before it's more expensive.
Speaker 1: And I know you gonna say hell yes to this,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh yeah, hell yes.
Speaker 2: So when I asked her how much it was, she said,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to spend about sixty five hundred that
Speaker 2: my job is covering. The rest was twelve total, and
Speaker 2: she said, I actually don't want to spend this money.
Speaker 1: I prefer to buy a house.
Speaker 2: But I realized these are one of the expenses of
Speaker 2: my life that are going to cost a lot of money,
Speaker 2: and it's something that I think can't wait before the
Speaker 2: home rates will go down.
Speaker 1: So are my eggs. I'm gonna do this shit right.
Speaker 2: Now, And I encourage anyone listening the Facebook group many
Speaker 2: advice like the advice you offered. Also, like with insurance,
Speaker 2: there's different type of places and the grants and the fundraisers.
Speaker 2: Did not know you could actually get an egg freezing grant.
Speaker 1: We do this online.
Speaker 2: A lot of families are like donating themselves, a lot
Speaker 2: of rich people that had all these X one to
Speaker 2: two kids like Elon.
Speaker 1: Trust me, there's a lot out there.
Speaker 2: So don't feel too discouraged by hearing that big number
Speaker 2: seven thousand, like it got zero apr orty girl zero
Speaker 2: percent thinks like I think there's a way. But one
Speaker 2: thing that's super interested to talk about. You said that
Speaker 2: you want to have a kid with a partner. I
Speaker 2: love hearing that because sometimes the egg and freezing maybe
Speaker 2: be like, okay, well where are you gonna go it?
Speaker 1: Sprian big gonna pick a friend?
Speaker 2: Do you think that saying it sounds there's so many
Speaker 2: beacons of strength, Like we just saw M. D. K.
Speaker 2: Williams have a big and I was like, oh damn,
Speaker 2: that's so like fuck yeah. But at the same time,
Speaker 2: I've sometimes felt silly by saying I want to wait
Speaker 2: for someone, So what do you think?
Speaker 1: No, I appreciate hearing that.
Speaker 5: I do think, you know, especially because I'm a woman
Speaker 5: who it's like in one breath I'm saying it empowered
Speaker 5: me to freeze my eggs and you know, I'm my
Speaker 5: own person, and then on the other side, I'm like, butt,
Speaker 5: he's babies with you know, But like that is the
Speaker 5: duality of life and being a woman, like two things
Speaker 5: can be true at once, and so I love hearing
Speaker 5: that because I felt similarly where it's kind of like
Speaker 5: now This is the part I have to admit. I
Speaker 5: do want the partner. I want the marriage, I want
Speaker 5: the husband. I want to create a family unit that
Speaker 5: looks and feels like my family unit in certain ways
Speaker 5: and different the others.
Speaker 1: But I want that and I love.
Speaker 3: What I love about what you're saying, too, is they
Speaker 3: confuse the word empowered when a woman says it to
Speaker 3: mean this masculine day we hate man movement, And it's like,
Speaker 3: you can be an empowered woman and want a partner
Speaker 3: or a man right next to you too. Sexual liberation, empowerment, feminism,
Speaker 3: all these things have been related to women who hate men.
Speaker 3: And I can be an empowered, powerful woman and still
Speaker 3: want the traditional looks of a relationship or want a
Speaker 3: man by my side. So I love that, you know,
Speaker 3: like two things can be true. Bitch, I'm empowered and
Speaker 3: I still want a man.
Speaker 1: Okay, but that is exactly what I like.
Speaker 2: I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that, Like,
Speaker 2: you know, seeking partnership or love is like that, shit
Speaker 2: is okay, Like bitch o, people I don't like going
Speaker 2: out to the club alone.
Speaker 1: Don't al of fire? Right right?
Speaker 3: Can I ask you if you and this if I
Speaker 3: don't know if this is a good question not to
Speaker 3: ask you, but I'm but it went to my mind.
Speaker 1: Okay, as a woman still aging.
Speaker 3: There also is a thing by the way, once you're
Speaker 3: like thirty four year geriatric pregnancy, right, and so is
Speaker 3: there a timeline that you have for yourself bringing back
Speaker 3: ebony again, she had a timeline. If I don't get
Speaker 3: a partner by this, I'm still going forward with it
Speaker 3: because again, complications can arise. Do you have a timeline
Speaker 3: or would you be open to surrogacy? If you feel
Speaker 3: like I am open, you are open to serrogacy.
Speaker 5: Okay, already I would like to experience the journey of
Speaker 5: pregnancy for myself, right, God is gonna do them when
Speaker 5: that path is going to be laid out, how it
Speaker 5: will be. So I am not so attached to the
Speaker 5: idea of that that I would be devastating to tell.
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that A lot of years have learned
Speaker 1: it is detached. I'll set the intention. Who knows, you know?
Speaker 2: Judging for surrogacy though, did you see how the world
Speaker 2: treated Kim Kardashian. Now, yeah, we all thought, oh, her body,
Speaker 2: she doesn'tant to fuck up her body.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, oh, they're helpless.
Speaker 3: There's a lot of health perss. I think, what's great
Speaker 3: about what you said? And I'm a I'm a bravo girly.
Speaker 1: So I loved it these convers carrieon.
Speaker 3: I loved these conversations, like the IVF conversation Candy went
Speaker 3: through sarrogacy. Shamia is also, you know, showing her her
Speaker 3: journey going through that. I think specifically as black women
Speaker 3: with that, because it's.
Speaker 1: The white girl on New York that was going through that.
Speaker 3: But I think that it's really dope that now these
Speaker 3: conversations are being put into entertainment because this is why
Speaker 3: we're learning about it. These are why we're able to
Speaker 3: have these conversations and hopefully people listening are like, oh shit,
Speaker 3: I didn't know this, Like they're they do want to
Speaker 3: hear us talking about sucking dick on the show, right,
Speaker 3: because it's entertainment. But in the ways that we're experiencing entertainment,
Speaker 3: these are the conversations that people aren't interested in hearing about.
Speaker 3: What is this journey about? What, what does it feel like?
Speaker 3: What are the emotions in what ways? If this is
Speaker 3: what I have to consider, do I navigate this for
Speaker 3: myself and specifically as black women holding the space for
Speaker 3: these conversations.
Speaker 1: It's so important.
Speaker 3: So I appreciate that absolucely just for you. Want to
Speaker 3: like you open to sharing this?
Speaker 1: I know I'm more than happy to. Is that meed
Speaker 1: my phone?
Speaker 2: Don't worry, don't the eggs are calling like, hey, I
Speaker 2: like to patch us in.
Speaker 1: We have something. I just googled how.
Speaker 2: Much surrogacy costs, and for insurance it says between ten
Speaker 2: to thirty thousand dollars.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was my album.
Speaker 5: My rounds were averaging about Fourteencroency is a whole nother call.
Speaker 1: You gotta be rich. You gotta be rich for listen, now,
Speaker 1: you gotta be rich usual baby mama, because let me
Speaker 1: tell you what I would do. Wait, but baby Mama,
Speaker 1: all right for sure? Oh.
Speaker 2: At first I was like, so I feel like if
Speaker 2: I go through an agency, if I had to do surrogacy.
Speaker 1: Do you remember the movie Baby Mama? Yeah? Yeah, yeah?
Speaker 2: Do you remember with Tina Fey It was Amy Poehler
Speaker 2: and then she had her baby, but there were she
Speaker 2: was like kind of trailer park, they'd move it.
Speaker 1: So in my head, I'm like, oh my god, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have a horror story. So I feel like I
Speaker 1: would do.
Speaker 2: My best to choose someone that I know, don't know
Speaker 2: and see if if maybe someone that doesn't want to
Speaker 2: have children, and maybe see if they be comfortable with it.
Speaker 5: Oh, so you are considering finding someone to be a
Speaker 5: surrogate that I know, I kind of know someone who
Speaker 5: would go through.
Speaker 1: That process for it.
Speaker 2: It's like, what kind of connection would I want with
Speaker 2: this person? And if I chose someone from a website.
Speaker 2: Baby Mama used to be one of my favorite movies
Speaker 2: to throw on as a teenager, and I literally I think.
Speaker 1: It's that trauma that you care from watching the movie
Speaker 1: that yeah, just also thinking like what have you just
Speaker 1: started eating bullshit?
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm just some person and you really need to
Speaker 2: just get some bread at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: Maybe don't. You're not doing this because.
Speaker 3: I want someone who to hate kids. I want someone
Speaker 3: who knows how to be pregnant. I want someone who
Speaker 3: who didn't had the bag. I want a woman who
Speaker 3: knows how to be pregnant.
Speaker 1: It's real. It's like I want you.
Speaker 2: To eat super Greens one percent. Do y'all know Miles
Speaker 2: the music kid? Have you ever seen him, his little
Speaker 2: white boy. He can hear a note and fucking play
Speaker 2: it and like just do all this shit. He's like
Speaker 2: super super super smart. But that's like millions of followers.
Speaker 2: And someone left in the comments to his mother what
Speaker 2: did you eat? What was different? And I'm for real,
Speaker 2: like what y'all doing there? I want that kid speaking
Speaker 2: Japanese to come out. You know what's crazy you saying
Speaker 2: that is because they have it. He might be autistic
Speaker 2: and there's only no, no, no, but in a good way.
Speaker 1: And when there's baby genius sit you want to.
Speaker 3: Lean into genius like that phrase instead of autism.
Speaker 1: But we got to get tired. Oh my god.
Speaker 3: President alright, she said, just so you know, I do
Speaker 3: not are the thoughts and opinions of the bitches on
Speaker 3: this podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm just a guess ohot opin that.
Speaker 2: I'm up evil now terraffic. Just Wo'd love to know
Speaker 2: who is your support system during the time.
Speaker 5: I love that question. I'm super close with my family.
Speaker 5: I've gotten closer to my mother. I've always been really
Speaker 5: close with both of my parents, but I've always been
Speaker 5: a daddy's girl, like we were just so synced in
Speaker 5: and for those twenties when I was navigating the workplace
Speaker 5: and climbing and conquering, like that's my dude.
Speaker 1: I'm calling Joe. My mom. We've always been really tight.
Speaker 5: As I have thought more about motherhood, thought and gone
Speaker 5: through this journey of you know, the egg freezing, I
Speaker 5: have such an appreciation for her that I couldn't have
Speaker 5: before I started thinking in that way.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 5: And so my mom has been an incredible sort of
Speaker 5: side by side person in this calling me. She would
Speaker 5: sometimes sit with me on FaceTime when I was doing
Speaker 5: the injections, just so that I didn't have to feel alone.
Speaker 1: There was someone there.
Speaker 5: To witness this part of my journey, which otherwise would
Speaker 5: have felt very isolating. But I would say, it's it's
Speaker 5: my parents, it's my family, my best friends. I have beautiful,
Speaker 5: incredible women in my life, and we are so locked
Speaker 5: in on supporting each other's personal, professional, emotional journeys. So
Speaker 5: my best friend, you know, she's in Phoenix, but she
Speaker 5: was always there if I needed to talk, if I
Speaker 5: needed to download It's Yeah, it's actually a really special
Speaker 5: thing to go through because even though doing it can
Speaker 5: feel isolating, or maybe you feel so alone, you realize
Speaker 5: you have this incredible tribe, this incredible community of people who,
Speaker 5: particularly if you're going through it as a single person
Speaker 5: who doesn't want to be single forever, you're reminded of
Speaker 5: all the people who show up for you in that gap.
Speaker 1: So for me, it's the family, it's.
Speaker 2: The love good, like I think finding an anchor through
Speaker 2: any intense medical even.
Speaker 1: Like I'm just thinking because you're you're motioning like the
Speaker 1: stuffach even weight loss brouh.
Speaker 2: One of my homegirls just started fucking ozipa and she'd
Speaker 2: be calling me really like struggling through how she feels
Speaker 2: about it. She's like, Damn, I thought I love my
Speaker 2: body and now loving myself in a way that makes
Speaker 2: me feel like, did I hate myself? Like I think
Speaker 2: any kind of change that we're going through, we really
Speaker 2: do need to find that person that we can still
Speaker 2: all to if therapy isn't for you, because some people
Speaker 2: I don't know it doesn't work for them. I do
Speaker 2: my best, and sometimes it can be seasonal with friends,
Speaker 2: right Like, I'm sure when I've become a mom, I
Speaker 2: may become closer to certain friends I wasn't for Right now.
Speaker 1: I like my whole friends I'm a man. I like
Speaker 1: going to the club. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So like I think really finding that anchor, and
Speaker 2: I like that you've got your family. For those who
Speaker 2: don't like, get that girl squad going, Ladies listening seriously,
Speaker 2: Like if there's someone that you haven't.
Speaker 1: Talked to in a while, pick up the phone.
Speaker 2: Making sure that, like, we're really investing in those friendships,
Speaker 2: because even your partner may not be easy to talk
Speaker 2: to you for actially.
Speaker 5: I just wouldn't understand, no matter how hard they may try.
Speaker 5: And I appreciate you saying that because it was only
Speaker 5: after I started speaking out publicly about this a couple
Speaker 5: of years ago. Friends I have obviously not my besties,
Speaker 5: we would have talked about it, but that I've broken
Speaker 5: red with.
Speaker 1: We talked about overwine, about all the things.
Speaker 5: They never brought it up, and so once I came
Speaker 5: out publicly, they were texting me.
Speaker 1: You're like, oh my god, girl, I did it five
Speaker 1: years old.
Speaker 3: You don't say nothing because I should have probably knocked
Speaker 3: it out again, these are things, yea, sometimes we don't
Speaker 3: share and you do it by yourself.
Speaker 1: So it's that's why I said I love you.
Speaker 5: I realized like man, she felt like she had to
Speaker 5: just do that, and there was way more shadowy stigma
Speaker 5: around it then than there is now. Or there were
Speaker 5: friends who were like, oh my god, I didn't know
Speaker 5: you did it. Have so many questions. I have my
Speaker 5: first meeting with a doctor or a friend telling me
Speaker 5: I just booked my first consultation and I found out.
Speaker 1: I've got fibers or I've got clever.
Speaker 5: But I'm so glad that it pushed them to do it,
Speaker 5: because now you know the information is power, and now
Speaker 5: you know what to do with it.
Speaker 1: It might suck.
Speaker 5: I know, we get tempted to stick our heads in
Speaker 5: the sand for things that are uncomfortable or overwhelming.
Speaker 1: Myself included, but I promise I won't promise, I'll speak
Speaker 1: for myself.
Speaker 5: I would rather know what I am working with, not
Speaker 5: work so that I can make a conscious and informed decision,
Speaker 5: then just keep putting it off because I'm afraid of
Speaker 5: the answer, because the answer is are going to be
Speaker 5: my reality regardless, and I'd rather not wait into the
Speaker 5: last minute. So the friends who have popped in like hey,
Speaker 5: can you tell me more, I've actually been curious. It
Speaker 5: made me realize so many of us, women, particularly in
Speaker 5: our thirties and beyond, have been navigating this, if only internally,
Speaker 5: and I hope through.
Speaker 1: Conversations like these, we just kind of remove the stima.
Speaker 1: It's not it's serious, but it's not that it doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be that there's someone else has done it,
Speaker 1: like you don know done it.
Speaker 3: I mean it's the same way as women we used
Speaker 3: to be embarrassed to have to go get pads and
Speaker 3: tamans off the store.
Speaker 1: And the older you get, the more normalized and.
Speaker 3: Comfortable you are with it. That's the way we have
Speaker 3: to treat these types of conversation.
Speaker 2: And most times, like women will really offer themselves up
Speaker 2: to you, like I've had so many firebriad experiences. In
Speaker 2: last year, I heard some girls I feel like they
Speaker 2: have you now. But I know when I jumped in
Speaker 2: that convo at a random dinner, They're like about but
Speaker 2: I was eating alone at Alba.
Speaker 1: Was so good.
Speaker 2: These girls were like freaking out by fevers. I'm like,
Speaker 2: so sorry to jump in.
Speaker 1: Can I cheme in her? I fid uf me too,
Speaker 1: wasn't great.
Speaker 2: Tot tried this and they were like really grateful dinner
Speaker 2: And I'm telling you like the way we can all
Speaker 2: show up for each other. But again, what happened to
Speaker 2: me my experience with being suggested egg freezing was by
Speaker 2: a male doctor who's very pushy about it. That sometimes
Speaker 2: that medical phobia of like you're already like fearful of
Speaker 2: the doctor, and now they make you more scared, like
Speaker 2: there's got to be a warm place.
Speaker 1: And so we hope we were that few today. And
Speaker 1: I know that you guys are mad because you want
Speaker 1: to know.
Speaker 2: Who's very fucking has she like me, Zuri before you
Speaker 2: get out of here, tell them where to find you,
Speaker 2: but also tell them your favorite position.
Speaker 5: I don't want to be like, tell them who you're
Speaker 5: a fing it tell you.
Speaker 1: I don't think I want to do that. Okay, what's
Speaker 1: the first question? Favorite position? That was the second question,
Speaker 1: But I answer the asking. She said, I'm a virgin.
Speaker 1: I'll make it a really nice question for you.
Speaker 2: Here's how you want to know out Are you looking
Speaker 2: down or are you looking in his eyes?
Speaker 1: Oh? It just depends.
Speaker 5: I'm a Gemini, So I trust me when I say
Speaker 5: I am a very people would be surprised to experience.
Speaker 1: Me and all the dimensions. I know my dimensions. It
Speaker 1: depends on the day, because if that is not me,
Speaker 1: you trying to get out of it.
Speaker 2: She also, by the way, has on very little hoops
Speaker 2: and you know what they say, the bigger than hoop.
Speaker 5: So not.
Speaker 1: For Zurri. Oh wait, I'm not even taking this for.
Speaker 5: I like to keep it fine and I like to
Speaker 5: switch things up, and I like to you know, we'll put.
Speaker 2: Some resources if we can, We'll ask it. We'll put
Speaker 2: the name of that place in Chicago. We'll put as
Speaker 2: many resources as we can to help egg freezing. In
Speaker 2: the description, I will remind myself to do this because
Speaker 2: I had.
Speaker 5: Yes, and I have a highlight ro Go to my Instagram.
Speaker 5: I've got highlight Q and as all of this as
Speaker 5: you for sure. I have so much content on Instagram
Speaker 5: where followers have asked me, and I'm super transparent.
Speaker 1: I get it into the supplements I've taken.
Speaker 5: I'm a big advocate for Eastern medicine in addition to
Speaker 5: Western practices, acupuncture, eastam, all the things.
Speaker 1: So go there for that. And then also, can I
Speaker 1: play a little something real quick? Yeah?
Speaker 5: Okay, so we just want you to join a wait list.
Speaker 5: I have a new show that by the time this
Speaker 5: comes out maybe premier if well, yes, so you'll see
Speaker 5: it on Instagram if it's happened by then. But I
Speaker 5: also have a wait list join zurivip dot com. It'll
Speaker 5: be the first to know. I'm really excited about it.
Speaker 1: So I like you. I like you name your show.
Speaker 5: So the show is called Not About Sports and it
Speaker 5: is an incredibly fun, irreverent and thoughtful series interview series
Speaker 5: with some of the world's biggest sports stars, athletes, wax
Speaker 5: sports adjacent realities. Yes, which is very fun about everything
Speaker 5: except famous.
Speaker 1: For talking about the stories not the stats. Like it.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited. That is when we get in. Where
Speaker 1: can we watch? So it's digital so you'll be able
Speaker 1: to watch on YouTube. Depend on the stairs.
Speaker 5: You can watch it now on YouTube YouTube dot com
Speaker 5: slash Hayzury Hall.
Speaker 1: And then also we're doing short form on Instagram. So
Speaker 1: if you see it there, got it? I love that. Yes, yes, well,
Speaker 1: thank you Sary so much for joining h thank you.
Speaker 3: If you guys want to check out Horrible Decisions, which yes,
Speaker 3: still does exist, you have to go over to Patreon.
Speaker 1: That's patreon dot com.
Speaker 3: Backslash Look, I never know which camera backslash Horrible Decisions. Also,
Speaker 3: if you have not yet, No Holds Barred du a
Speaker 3: manifesto of sexual exploration and power, go ahead and get
Speaker 3: that book wherever you purchase your books. Anyways, guys, thank
Speaker 3: you guys so very much for tuning in to another
Speaker 3: episode of Decisions Decisions Bivey Bady