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Speaker 1: Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say

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Speaker 1: decisions decisions. It sounded like you was talking to Kirsty.

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Speaker 1: You definitely say to welcome, welcome to the new podcast.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, you want to say together the decisions Decisions.

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Speaker 3: Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the Sisy Hall

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Speaker 3: To Sisy Hall, Listen, my vocals ain't really hit him.

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Speaker 3: But I'll never be a superstar singer, but I am

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Speaker 3: maybe be Aka paid the sign Aka debts Beach.

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Speaker 2: Hey, y'all, I'm weazy. Welcome back to another episode of

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Speaker 2: our show. We have a guest today and her bio

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Speaker 2: is so long that I'm gonna have to pick my

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Speaker 2: favorite things to say. Missouri Hall. She's an any award

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Speaker 2: winning TV personality who would be known from what I

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Speaker 2: know eve Redcarpet, NBC's Access Hollywood, bringing the energy and empathy.

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Speaker 1: She's to who email this growned us?

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Speaker 2: Okay warrior, Oh you're from Ohio anyway. She's also a

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Speaker 2: global ambassador for the Global Fund of Children. Oh, we

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Speaker 2: only talk about the ones that we and yeah, I'll

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Speaker 2: don't say it's kids all day over.

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Speaker 4: The nois the kids that assault.

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Speaker 2: We love the kids, but Zouri Hall is a season host.

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Speaker 2: She's known from covering anything from Vanity Fair to Vogue,

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Speaker 2: is a style star.

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Speaker 1: So I want you guys give it that for Hi, Hi, Hi,

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Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for that.

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Speaker 5: But I also apologize that you were subjected to have

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Speaker 5: to edit that real time.

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Speaker 1: Hell up, no, I will tell you this.

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Speaker 2: Like we've been talking about having uri, I feel like

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Speaker 2: we all alongstage each other something, come on, come on.

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Speaker 2: But the reason this one episode happen is the egg

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Speaker 2: freezing journeys.

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Speaker 1: You're the second person on my timeline.

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Speaker 2: I've been seeing Cammy Crawford talk about everything from her

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Speaker 2: experience to money, and it was just like, Okay, let's

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Speaker 2: let's do this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And I know that women listening you may want to

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Speaker 2: have kids, may not want to kids, may not.

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Speaker 1: Even give a shait or say fuck them kids too.

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Speaker 2: But I think just even knowing about it, because all

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Speaker 2: of our friends that are at this age maybe have

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Speaker 2: tossed the idea. And I don't really know how to

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Speaker 2: get in conversation about egg freezing as much.

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Speaker 1: I've had three friends do it.

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Speaker 3: So two of them went through egg freezing for they

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Speaker 3: were diagnosed with breast cancer. So having to have their

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Speaker 3: eggs frozen before going through chemo, and then another friend

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Speaker 3: of mine currently has gone through I think two rounds total,

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Speaker 3: still hasn't gotten everything, but two rounds of IVF for

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Speaker 3: diminishing ovarian syndrome, which this is my first time hearing

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Speaker 3: about it, and I've talked about it because it's a lot.

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Speaker 1: She's younger than me, so early thirties.

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Speaker 3: And literally trying to save it for later and realize

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Speaker 3: so diminishing ovarian syndrome. Basically, even when you have IVF,

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Speaker 3: they want to be able to get ten eggs.

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Speaker 1: Out of you during this process.

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Speaker 3: Now, the IVF is to make you, you know, get

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Speaker 3: more eggs and make them. They have to be a

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Speaker 3: certain size for them to even retrieve them, for them

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Speaker 3: to be able to be considered healthy, for them to

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Speaker 3: be able.

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Speaker 1: To be frozen.

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Speaker 3: Mind you, they can insert this egg later and it

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Speaker 3: still doesn't mean it's going to be a full a

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Speaker 3: full egg. So basically her going through this, her egg

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Speaker 3: count is just drastically low. She has no reason why,

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Speaker 3: like and it's just something that's rare. They can't really

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Speaker 3: explain it. So in her early thirties, she's not producing

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Speaker 3: eggs like she should. So she's gone through two rounds

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Speaker 3: and only has three eggs. Three and mind you, with

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Speaker 3: insurance it doesn't really matter. It's cost her over seven

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Speaker 3: thousand dollars each time for this process help cover some

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Speaker 3: of it, some of it, but also the medication that

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Speaker 3: she's had to take, and because she has not as

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Speaker 3: many eggs, she has to keep doing it. But one

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Speaker 3: of the things I do want to share before we

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Speaker 3: get into this because it's one of the most amazing

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Speaker 3: things Facebook groups. So she was spending so much money

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Speaker 3: on the medication. There's women that during their IVF journeys

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Speaker 3: end up seriously getting pregnant, like from naturally. And so

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Speaker 3: what's dope is if you're in whatever city you are,

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Speaker 3: there's normally groups of women that are doing IVF and

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Speaker 3: they'll hey, guys, I got my magical baby. If y'all

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Speaker 3: if you need any medication, I haven't, And so there's

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Speaker 3: women that like share their medications. But yeah, I think

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Speaker 3: being being thirty five and having so many friends go

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Speaker 3: through fertility journeys in the way that they have, especially

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Speaker 3: through egg freezing, has been really interesting to like learn, Yeah, firsthand.

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Speaker 5: It's fascinating and it feels like everyone just pops up

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Speaker 5: all at once talking about yes, which is awesome but

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Speaker 5: also points to what kind of threw me for a

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Speaker 5: loop of why was nobody talking about this when we

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Speaker 5: were younger and could have been seriously considering their options.

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Speaker 1: Right. We're always told, you've guys so much.

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Speaker 5: Time, don't worry about it, don't think of like girl,

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Speaker 5: focus on your career, do your thing. That is true,

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Speaker 5: but there is also the biological truth of what our

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Speaker 5: bodies are going to do. And so when I was

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Speaker 5: in my twenties, you always think the guy is going

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Speaker 5: to be the guy, and it's like.

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Speaker 1: The next guy I mean to get girlfud look at him.

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Speaker 2: I'll be like, that's our wedding and it's going to

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Speaker 2: be where that's my king.

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Speaker 1: I'm ready. So that's not how that went.

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Speaker 5: And I remember in my late twenties, when I ended

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Speaker 5: the relationship that I was in, I was like, you

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Speaker 5: know what, I should probably freeze my eggs.

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Speaker 1: I always thought I would.

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Speaker 3: Be You had this thought in your late twenties, Yes,

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Speaker 3: oh okay, but.

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Speaker 1: I did not do it, and I don't believe it. Regrets.

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Speaker 5: Okay, if I could do that one more time, I

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Speaker 5: would because at the time I was at NBC Universal still,

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Speaker 5: so I've been at NBC for ten years, but business wise,

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Speaker 5: like I was an employee for those first four or

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Speaker 5: five years, the last half of my tenure there, I've

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Speaker 5: been alone out my own business right myself. But that

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Speaker 5: also means I'm covering my own insurance. And I'm employed

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Speaker 5: by Zuri Hall and back then because I was an employee,

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Speaker 5: they had incredible benefits. So late twenties, broke up with

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Speaker 5: the guy I was with, decided I want to freeze

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Speaker 5: my eggs. I was working down stop. I was so busy.

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Speaker 5: I tried calling. They were like, call your insurance do this.

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Speaker 5: Two days into that, I was like, I don't have

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Speaker 5: time for this. I would literally rather just figure it

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Speaker 5: out whoever my marriage. Yeah, even go through all of

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Speaker 5: this insurance stuff because it was so complicated, it wasn't

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Speaker 5: easy and I was busy, so I didn't do it,

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Speaker 5: even though they covered almost one hundred percent. No way,

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Speaker 5: I don't know what I was doing. Well, I know

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Speaker 5: I wasn't thinking because I was overworked, exhausted and just

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Speaker 5: trying to get through the days. So I didn't end

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Speaker 5: up doing it, even though they covered almost the entire procedure.

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Speaker 1: And then around.

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Speaker 5: Early to mid thirties I started thinking about it again.

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Speaker 5: It was because there are things that I want in

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Speaker 5: my life. I want to be married, I want to

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Speaker 5: have children. I don't want anything in my life more

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Speaker 5: than having it and making sure it feel right.

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Speaker 2: And a lot of the questions like we're gonna talk

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Speaker 2: to you about today are not even just the process,

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Speaker 2: but like why because I think some of the things

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Speaker 2: that was interesting to me When Cammy froze her eggs,

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Speaker 2: I saw a lot of comments like but you got

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Speaker 2: me in yeah, you know, and so like that's the ignorance, right,

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Speaker 2: They don't get it.

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Speaker 1: They don't get it.

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Speaker 2: I think it's great to talk about, like even the

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Speaker 2: quantity of kids they want to have or just whatever.

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Speaker 2: We just are always swing everybody else's couscy. Now we're

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Speaker 2: not gonna get yours yet. So we have a few

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Speaker 2: lookings to play with you in our favorite game, really,

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Speaker 2: I feel like, because it's a fun one to play

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Speaker 2: is poetry.

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Speaker 1: But we're gonna do a.

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Speaker 2: Song, singing it like it's poetry or reading it like

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Speaker 2: it's poetry, and you have to guess the song. You

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Speaker 2: absolutely know this song, do what you gotta do, keep

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Speaker 2: me up all night.

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Speaker 5: Hurt, what you canna do night period?

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Speaker 1: I'm on.

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Speaker 3: Yes, go so good, dam bo good? That mixed up

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Speaker 3: like I'm a twelve good Okay, wait.

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Speaker 1: Now I want to give you one that don't push

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Speaker 1: me too. She said, all right, witch, I got it. Next.

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Speaker 1: What's the next game? Because I got one like this one?

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Speaker 1: I can't remember. No, Literally that was to me. Lyrics

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Speaker 1: are what you know? You know, it's crazy. I make

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Speaker 1: up lyrics so much.

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Speaker 2: Say I don't know what wait out like that you

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Speaker 2: could literally say to the window, to the wall, and

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Speaker 2: I'm be like, when what dropped.

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Speaker 1: Down the ball dropping?

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Speaker 3: No no, no, like when I when I remember.

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Speaker 1: I have a I have a homeboy who loves R

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Speaker 1: and B.

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Speaker 3: And literally like we get to where we'll play, we'll

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Speaker 3: play like card games and ship it's R and B

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Speaker 3: and we're just saying at the top of our lungs

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Speaker 3: all together in unison. So he puts on I want

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Speaker 3: to say, it's one twelve Cupid. And so it gets

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Speaker 3: to a part and I say truth is and they're like,

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Speaker 3: did you just say through truth is? Apparently it's Cupid

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Speaker 3: would have got them song and I made up a

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Speaker 3: whole another line and my last podcast used to be

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Speaker 3: music Bitch.

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Speaker 1: I would literally be making up lyrics not all made

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Speaker 1: up truth. Kid is nuts, but it's cupid. I don't

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Speaker 1: know that young tongue song live live, live loud thing. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you, no one knows that lyric. Wait

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Speaker 1: do it more? Wait, A lot of ship just live

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Speaker 1: in lives. What is it? Came from the bottom to

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Speaker 1: the top. My life's out. I just hopping on lifestyle.

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Speaker 1: That's it, you know what I mean. But we didn't

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Speaker 1: know what Missy was staying with reversed. It was a

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Speaker 1: sisence that was really reversed ReBs.

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Speaker 3: It literally reversed bit And I was like you, maybe

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Speaker 3: this is another language because wait, it was at the

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Speaker 3: time when that came out. It was at the time

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Speaker 3: when like we we as hip hop. I will say,

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Speaker 3: I'm blaming y'all culturally appropriated like India.

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Speaker 1: So they were like to th thing they had what.

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Speaker 3: They didn't say it like god, bro, I'm thinking, like.

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Speaker 1: Those words didn't make it India. There was the beat.

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Speaker 4: I mean, same thing. Maybe Asian toya gotta mean something.

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Speaker 4: It sound like it means something in Asian. Okay, now

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Speaker 4: I signed this other game.

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Speaker 1: I just made this ship up, so I'm not as

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Speaker 1: gonna go one, two, three? Oh okay.

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Speaker 2: I got this question and I never one. The second

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Speaker 2: one is two okay, and the next one is three.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: You have to craft the perfect date night, but you

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Speaker 2: could only go to one place? Where would it be?

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Speaker 2: Think of the vibes in activity? Is there fooding around?

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Speaker 2: Hottailor's definitely food all of it?

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Speaker 1: Okay? Where do you take someone for the perfect date?

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Speaker 1: Perfect dating?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 1: Where does she want to be taken to? Or where

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Speaker 1: does she takes something?

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Speaker 2: Doesn't have to be a hard thing, Okay, maybe plentying

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Speaker 2: a great day one place, one place that.

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Speaker 1: What's the one place? And I'll see you later at

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Speaker 1: five o'clock?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 1: This is such a fun after there? Okay? One place

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Speaker 1: that is a really fun question.

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Speaker 5: I mean it's kind of like cliche.

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Speaker 1: Yes, what I think?

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Speaker 5: The reason it works a spot like Dave and Busters, right,

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Speaker 5: or something where you can have.

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Speaker 1: In our cage, Yes, an arcade because they have food.

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Speaker 5: They got drinks there so you can have a little appetizer,

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Speaker 5: little life by maybe one drink.

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Speaker 1: I read something recently and then whoop. You know what

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Speaker 1: I mean. You get to talk, youre is, you get

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Speaker 1: to go back and forth. Stakes are high.

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Speaker 5: You can see what their competition game is like all

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Speaker 5: they get when they are overly comoyfriend just.

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Speaker 2: Made a comment about okay, sorry, now I'm taking it.

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Speaker 2: We went on a throttle day. This girl we see

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Speaker 2: and we took her to vote. He was okay, but

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Speaker 2: we'd already had sex. It was in our next date.

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Speaker 2: But he was like, I don't really like activity dates

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Speaker 2: because I feel like I'm not in the flirty vibe

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Speaker 2: because we're too competitive and we're like now he's like

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Speaker 2: with bowling, like it's her turn, then you go play.

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Speaker 1: Now it's me and her talking. Know how you that is?

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Speaker 1: You gotta slept the ass.

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Speaker 3: No, you gotta, you gotta make it warning, you gotta

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Speaker 3: start making best make its up. I get to lick

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Speaker 3: them nipples to not like I do that. I do

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Speaker 3: I do that for oh no, like if you make

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Speaker 3: it if you don't want to make it like super friendly,

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Speaker 3: you don't you want to make it sexual like you

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Speaker 3: just make every you.

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Speaker 1: Turn everything into it because you're separate.

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Speaker 2: But I do like activity if it's like playing games together.

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Speaker 1: For sure, and that makes it a little trigger.

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Speaker 5: I've never navigated to throttle dynamics, so I would imagine

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Speaker 5: when it's one and two and then once sitting back,

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Speaker 5: that's a little tricky or vice versa. But I think, yeah,

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Speaker 5: to your point, it can be whatever you make it.

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Speaker 5: It can't do with sexual You can just be chill friendly.

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Speaker 2: And I feel like I don't have to do it.

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Speaker 3: And and if anyone has ever gone, I went on

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Speaker 3: a date before I left New York to there's like

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Speaker 3: an arcade in Chinatown, but it's like all these old

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Speaker 3: school games, and just from a nostalgic being in your

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Speaker 3: thirties and playing pat Man and ship like that, I

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Speaker 3: was like, oh, this is really cute, like and so

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Speaker 3: it was fun.

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Speaker 1: And then after that you get to go get fucking

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Speaker 1: dumplings and boba tate exactly. You know, well that's adding

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Speaker 1: to Okay, now, now I'm gonna really sound like a

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Speaker 1: hu tar me out, Okay, no judgment listening. We listen

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Speaker 1: and we judged. We listening and we judged the perfect date.

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Speaker 2: So to me, the perfect date means you spend like

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Speaker 2: all day together, okay, and I can only go one place.

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Speaker 1: Okay, let's say we're in l A. I'm gonna pick.

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Speaker 2: Let's say the addition, Okay, we're gonna go to the

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Speaker 2: pool during the day. Then we're gonna go to the

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Speaker 2: spa that you're cheating, and then we're gonna have to.

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Speaker 1: You see how she changed. Question. Now, here's number two.

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Speaker 1: Me while I'm at David.

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Speaker 2: Buster's for two hours speaking to two not like what

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Speaker 2: I need to be in this.

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Speaker 1: Mine's three.

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Speaker 2: You're me your dream man physically fine as books, but

293
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Speaker 2: he can only excel in two out of the five

294
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Speaker 2: love languages.

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Speaker 1: So what are they going to be?

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Speaker 2: For a reminder for everyone here, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts,

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Speaker 2: acts of service, and physical touch.

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Speaker 1: Fine, he only gonna be good at two of them.

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Speaker 5: That is a great question. My love languages were one

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Speaker 5: thing for so many years. I got curious about myself

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Speaker 5: and how I changed since the last time I took

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Speaker 5: the test, which would have been seven or eight years ago,

303
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Speaker 5: and was surprised to.

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Speaker 1: Realize, no, they changed.

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Speaker 5: She changed, which is such a reflection of where I

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Speaker 5: am in my life now makes.

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Speaker 1: Matters in so these days?

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Speaker 5: My number one is quality time, So he's got to

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Speaker 5: be good at that.

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Speaker 1: That matters to me. I work a lot. I would

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Speaker 1: imagine he very busy too.

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Speaker 5: In a perfect world, he's doing something and that he

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Speaker 5: loves and is passionate about, and so our time together

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Speaker 5: becomes all the more sacred.

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Speaker 1: So quality times work, So that now what else is

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Speaker 1: finance too?

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Speaker 2: You know when I say it's fine, those.

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Speaker 1: Are my facto service. I was gonna say, act.

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Speaker 3: Of service and quality time are like why are they

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Speaker 3: for you? So it used to be gifts and physical touch?

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Speaker 3: Are you saying like if if a if a man

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Speaker 3: got me gifts and fucked me good, just another man?

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Speaker 3: But now someone who can come in and just make

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Speaker 3: my life simpler, Like I want someone who adds and

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Speaker 3: makes Like this is gonna sound so cliche, we saying

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Speaker 3: cliche shit up here today, but like saying, you want

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Speaker 3: someone to be your peace. So for me, if you

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Speaker 3: can come in and make my life easier, like and

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Speaker 3: it's so funny because one of the things that I mean,

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Speaker 3: I get made fun of on here if a man

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Speaker 3: come to my house.

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Speaker 1: But like my boyfriend just.

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Speaker 3: Recently did in the house, make one of my boyfriends,

334
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:03,480
Speaker 3: but he came over, spent some time in Atlanta and

335
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,440
Speaker 3: before leaving for his flight. Not only did he make

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Speaker 3: my bed, he took the trash out. He don't even

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00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,400
Speaker 3: live to ask, didn't have to ask. He started picking

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00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:13,320
Speaker 3: up the bags, the empty bottles because we had a

339
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Speaker 3: good time, and he's like, where's your where's your dumpster?

340
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,720
Speaker 3: I want to make sure I take your trash out

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Speaker 3: before I leave, And I'm just like he listened to

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Speaker 3: the No, he's never will wed.

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Speaker 1: He ain't nothing. No, he's had this trash cank for

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Speaker 1: five years. Well, it's not even that.

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Speaker 3: I was in my first relationship at twenty nine going

346
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Speaker 3: to the thirty right, that relationship, how you said seven

347
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:38,560
Speaker 3: years ago it was one way, seven years later, it's another.

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Speaker 3: It's because I went through this relationship and I was

349
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Speaker 3: able to be like, this is what I like, and

350
00:16:44,280 --> 00:16:47,280
Speaker 3: it had nothing to do with any gifts he bought me. Yes,

351
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:50,160
Speaker 3: sex was great, but it started to be it was

352
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Speaker 3: an intimate thing that I started appreciating with my partners

353
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,760
Speaker 3: and then it changed to that. But those are my

354
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Speaker 3: top two right there as well. And I don't think

355
00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:01,280
Speaker 3: men know how to show up that way fully. So

356
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Speaker 3: when you get it, like a lot of men will

357
00:17:03,640 --> 00:17:06,000
Speaker 3: lead with their wallets. So that's the gift giving right.

358
00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:08,199
Speaker 3: Then you have, of course physical touch. You have a

359
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,760
Speaker 3: man that'll you know, do all those things. And then

360
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,000
Speaker 3: words of affirmations has always been the last one. I

361
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,920
Speaker 3: don't need you to I don't have a praise kid,

362
00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,320
Speaker 3: and I know that that's something. But yeah, the older

363
00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:21,000
Speaker 3: you get those other two. Oh baby, yeah, take trash.

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00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:33,439
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be like this. Listen. Are you ready for

365
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,120
Speaker 1: the three? Yes? Three? Yes?

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00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 2: This one is simple. Now I call it a whole bag.

367
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,960
Speaker 2: I'm sure a nice lady like call it the overnight bag.

368
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,320
Speaker 1: Yes, the overnight bag. You can only put three things

369
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:47,480
Speaker 1: in the bag. Oh what are those three? Oh my god? Okay,

370
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:48,360
Speaker 1: overnight bag.

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00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,600
Speaker 2: Now, let's just say you know, you know you're gonna

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00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,400
Speaker 2: be over there that night, but also he might take

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Speaker 2: you somewhere the next day. No, no, no, hey, that

374
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:59,400
Speaker 2: is a let's just say it's not the fit.

375
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,239
Speaker 1: But what's in the what's in the bat and what

376
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:01,879
Speaker 1: do I need?

377
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:06,760
Speaker 5: I'm going to assume that there is listening, toothpaste and

378
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,160
Speaker 5: an extra toothbrush.

379
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,480
Speaker 3: And especially if he's a hope, I would say I

380
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:17,480
Speaker 3: think the extra tooth the extra toothbrushes for like, okay, I.

381
00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:20,560
Speaker 2: Guess I forget I did. I did too, but I

382
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 2: mean hot take about the toothbrush thing. So one of

383
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,800
Speaker 2: my friends starts blacking about this dude having a bit

384
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:28,840
Speaker 2: a lot of toothbrushes.

385
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,840
Speaker 1: I'm like, this just seems so normal to me. I

386
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:35,159
Speaker 1: know you're upset. She's like, I'm in Missouri. Nobody's visiting

387
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:35,520
Speaker 1: his name.

388
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,080
Speaker 2: She's like, maybe if you live in New York, LA,

389
00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:39,520
Speaker 2: people come through for the weekend.

390
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,200
Speaker 1: Ain't nobody's visiting anyone else.

391
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:45,600
Speaker 3: That's what I'm saying that I do believe that people

392
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:46,960
Speaker 3: visit too.

393
00:18:47,359 --> 00:18:49,480
Speaker 1: Me too. So then I was like, maybe here, any

394
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 1: big family guy, maybe people do. I love it. I

395
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:53,720
Speaker 1: love mis Zouri was like, let me let y'all know

396
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,439
Speaker 1: my breath. Do not think. But I'm gonna assume he

397
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 1: got out of that.

398
00:18:57,119 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 5: So I'm not pecking it record for the record dental

399
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:04,920
Speaker 5: high ortante period. But I'm just you said he got it, Okay, yes, yes, yes, okay,

400
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 5: So I am bringing Can I bring it off? Change

401
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:10,119
Speaker 5: of clothes? You're saying I don't need to bring you

402
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,600
Speaker 5: change of clothes. I look, I am a very easy,

403
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:17,520
Speaker 5: momentous person. Honestly, I don't need much a period payies.

404
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 2: Like if you want your you're bringing sexy lingerie that's

405
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:19,720
Speaker 2: in the bag.

406
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,680
Speaker 1: Oh no, I don't even think about that. Just change

407
00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:25,959
Speaker 1: she said, change draw tomorrow. Yes, so sexy lingdre wouldn't

408
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:30,600
Speaker 1: be in the whole bay. Okay, not every man gets lingerie.

409
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 1: That's a lot. I feel like you got it.

410
00:19:32,359 --> 00:19:34,800
Speaker 3: We got a plan that I'm not just bringing a

411
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,399
Speaker 3: lingerie over a man house.

412
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:36,960
Speaker 1: No.

413
00:19:37,560 --> 00:19:41,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's just like my bag and it's probably not.

414
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:42,880
Speaker 1: Even okay, I'm not gonna lie.

415
00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 2: If it's the first time, these gonna be the nicest

416
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 2: pulling up and that those.

417
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,359
Speaker 3: Did if it's the first time, Like, I don't need

418
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:50,920
Speaker 3: to because youre gonna pick them up because ain't gonna

419
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:51,720
Speaker 3: change it.

420
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:55,200
Speaker 5: That was okay, I'm bed dramatic to be like one second.

421
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 1: And then do it, because but I've been in that moment.

422
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:58,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is dupid.

423
00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:01,120
Speaker 2: I'm just I'm gonna see it's But what's your makeup

424
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,240
Speaker 2: essential for the next day?

425
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 1: Okay, makeup essential?

426
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 5: I would say mascara and that's it because I just

427
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:09,240
Speaker 5: need to fluff my brows.

428
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,959
Speaker 1: I get them together and then I'll do a swipe.

429
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,200
Speaker 5: So the lashes pop, and then I tried to prioritize skincare,

430
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,320
Speaker 5: so I don't need to do it if I don't

431
00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:19,240
Speaker 5: have to do like a full face. So and I'm

432
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 5: pretty much bear face when I'm not what are your.

433
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 1: Three items on it?

434
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:29,679
Speaker 2: Lingerie and my lip duo? I don't need to make

435
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,840
Speaker 2: up either, just to lip pombo. But the thing with

436
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 2: the bonnet, like, I.

437
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,080
Speaker 1: Wait a second bonnet on? Is this a first night?

438
00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:40,040
Speaker 1: Bring the bag either way? Okay? Oh I want the

439
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,000
Speaker 1: bonnet on. I don't give a fuck.

440
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 2: And also I love that and I have like my

441
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,639
Speaker 2: boyfriend we've been together for two years now, but he

442
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 2: got locked and so did the men before him.

443
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:50,640
Speaker 1: We all grab bonus on everybody. Girl.

444
00:20:50,680 --> 00:20:52,480
Speaker 2: You should see when my mama called late night we

445
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,040
Speaker 2: beat a bed together, she'd be like, what's right?

446
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 1: Man? Bone it too fine? On it? That's not singing?

447
00:20:58,880 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 1: We go to bed.

448
00:21:00,359 --> 00:21:03,399
Speaker 2: I love it, though I also felt like when I

449
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 2: was younger, and I don't know if you guys can

450
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:08,359
Speaker 2: attest to this, or maybe it's only me, I wanted

451
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,159
Speaker 2: to do a lot more before going a bit.

452
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 1: I wanted to wake up a lot more different. I

453
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I got it, uh, now, not so much.

454
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:19,200
Speaker 2: But the linguery is actually more for me than that, Yeah,

455
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:23,439
Speaker 2: because I like, I kind of feel like I'm lacking

456
00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 2: on me sometimes, like I don't realize how much I

457
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,040
Speaker 2: am low efforts sometimes be like I'm gonts sgard you

458
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,320
Speaker 2: Zuri we do a sex spot, I'm not a Yeah,

459
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:35,200
Speaker 2: I assume you're gonna get there and you should just

460
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 2: be happy. That's not true.

461
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,159
Speaker 1: Like I had really good sex recently.

462
00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,600
Speaker 2: I was wearing a button up and I left it

463
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 2: on and he was like, you don't understand what that

464
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:46,240
Speaker 2: didn't me Like, I don't know. We so like used

465
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:48,400
Speaker 2: to nakedness, He's like, but I was just like, oh,

466
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 2: I'm sneaking. He's like, I had to ship in my

467
00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:53,399
Speaker 2: head like it was my teacher was so to me,

468
00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 2: It's like we're not dressing.

469
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, So now it's made me want to step it up. Okay,

470
00:21:58,119 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 1: I do we move on to eggs, so I do

471
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 1: want to ask you.

472
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 2: The clip actually didn't pull up, but one of the

473
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 2: clips that I had pulled up. We have a reactionary segment.

474
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,679
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry this is so unprofessional watching, but one

475
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,920
Speaker 2: of the clips was a hot take and the girl

476
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:20,040
Speaker 2: basically said, my hot take is I'm sick of people

477
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:22,480
Speaker 2: saying that they need a boundary to show up for themselves,

478
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,720
Speaker 2: like we sometimes choosing ourselves as a fault. Don't tell

479
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 2: me if I had friends with my friends, but I

480
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,480
Speaker 2: chose myself that it's my boundary no show.

481
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:33,160
Speaker 1: Up for people, And that sounds like a breeding ground

482
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: for me. Yeah, I wish I could, Yeah, but it

483
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 1: was no.

484
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,640
Speaker 2: It was eight second clip. But one of the things

485
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,880
Speaker 2: that it made me think about was the egg freezing thing.

486
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 2: Are we choosing ourselves to a fault? And I asked

487
00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 2: this because before my partner, the last guy I dated,

488
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:49,239
Speaker 2: it was short lived, he was on the road, he

489
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 2: was an actor, and I didn't really live in LA

490
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 2: so we're back and forth. But when I discussed egg

491
00:22:54,119 --> 00:22:59,119
Speaker 2: freezing with him, he said, are you so jaded or

492
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,159
Speaker 2: like down or just pointed by love that your mind

493
00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 2: is solely focused on having kids alone?

494
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 1: So well, why does it have to be so binary?

495
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 1: Why is it so black and white?

496
00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 5: Why if I'm interested in this, am I afraid of

497
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:12,080
Speaker 5: dying alone?

498
00:23:12,119 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 1: And that's my only option? Completely agree and protecting all

499
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 1: of my options.

500
00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,880
Speaker 2: So the thing he said that I mean you think

501
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,680
Speaker 2: about that clip was I feel like I can't say

502
00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 2: this to you because you're just gonna be like you

503
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 2: want to choose yourself?

504
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:27,200
Speaker 1: And he said, so.

505
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,840
Speaker 2: Many times I'm dating women where they're like trying to

506
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,919
Speaker 2: tell me all these things like me, me, me, me,

507
00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 2: and they say nothing that welcomes me into their life.

508
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:39,359
Speaker 2: And I actually thought egg freezing. At that age, I

509
00:23:39,359 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 2: wasn't thirty four, which I am now, But to me,

510
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,040
Speaker 2: if it was today, it's a plus for you.

511
00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 1: Absolutely.

512
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:48,040
Speaker 2: What if you're meeting me at forty and forty is

513
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 2: the scary age, I feel like for women with childbirth,

514
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 2: So wouldn't you be happy? So I really want to

515
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 2: pose that question to you of like, do you think

516
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,399
Speaker 2: that your process maybe been something that men you were

517
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,160
Speaker 2: dating or men that was in your life questions?

518
00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 1: That's a great question.

519
00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,560
Speaker 5: No, actually, thankfully I've not experienced that at the.

520
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,520
Speaker 1: Time I was. So I've done four rounds. I've done

521
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:14,040
Speaker 1: four rounds.

522
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,639
Speaker 5: So it was since over the course of about a

523
00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 5: year i'd given myself I promised myself that I was

524
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,920
Speaker 5: going to get this done by the age of thirty six.

525
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:27,440
Speaker 5: I'm thirty seven now, so it was time and I

526
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,879
Speaker 5: am an over a cheaper in pretty much everything. So

527
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 5: even with my egg freezing, I'm like, I'm gonna phrase

528
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,920
Speaker 5: as many acts, right, And so for me to hit

529
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 5: the number that.

530
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,800
Speaker 1: I wanted to hit I needed, I ended.

531
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,800
Speaker 5: Up needing three to four rounds. Four rounds right, expensive

532
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 5: again expensive because those first three rounds, Yeah, we're all

533
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 5: out of pocket.

534
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,840
Speaker 1: Again, no insurance covered that.

535
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 3: And it is not cheap, not only that, for you

536
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 3: to do that as a working woman. And when I

537
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,720
Speaker 3: say working, it's a woman Like my friend took a

538
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:02,280
Speaker 3: break from it because of how a exhausting like it

539
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 3: was to do it, but also you have to do

540
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,240
Speaker 3: your checkups, so she had to take off certain days

541
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 3: of work and so during the process she's like, I

542
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,959
Speaker 3: missed out on so many days of work because you

543
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,719
Speaker 3: have your appointment and you got to make it. So

544
00:25:15,760 --> 00:25:18,520
Speaker 3: for you to do that for a full year is

545
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:21,160
Speaker 3: a lot of sacrifice professionally as well.

546
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 1: And I don't think people talk about that often.

547
00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:23,119
Speaker 3: It was.

548
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:23,560
Speaker 1: It was a lot.

549
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 2: Let's get talanmular about it. Then, Like, what exactly is

550
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:29,520
Speaker 2: the step one boom? I want to freeze my eggs?

551
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 2: All I know about that is they hand you some

552
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 2: shots to start shooting up your hormone, like.

553
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, so what is it?

554
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 5: And I do want to say that, but just to

555
00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 5: answer that question really about the men in one.

556
00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,280
Speaker 1: Life, I will say it.

557
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,520
Speaker 5: To me helps me understand more quickly where a man

558
00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:45,360
Speaker 5: was in his life and what you guys did right,

559
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:48,760
Speaker 5: because if a man was looking forward to fatherhood, it

560
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 5: comforted him where sometimes I think men, deep down, whether

561
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,120
Speaker 5: they'll admit it or not, if they meet a woman

562
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:54,760
Speaker 5: of a certain age and they know they want to

563
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 5: be a dad one day, it's like, oh, you're incredible,

564
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:58,359
Speaker 5: you're brilliant, you're beautiful or whatever.

565
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 1: You're also what ever might be a heart.

566
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 5: So either I don't want to feel pressured with you

567
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:08,760
Speaker 5: to have this baby asap, even though I have one eventually,

568
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 5: or I as a man and maybe deep down wondering,

569
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,800
Speaker 5: can you even have my babies once the time is right?

570
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: And that's a question that I think a lot of men.

571
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:21,119
Speaker 3: Luckily now with the conversation, a lot men are either

572
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:25,400
Speaker 3: too shy to ask the question around fertility, especially an

573
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:28,879
Speaker 3: older woman who has no kids, it's like can you

574
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:29,720
Speaker 3: even have them?

575
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:31,480
Speaker 1: And that becomes a conversation.

576
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:35,240
Speaker 3: Unfortunately too, it's one that is touching online because it's like,

577
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,800
Speaker 3: there's not a really respectful way to ask that.

578
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 1: It's hard.

579
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 3: It's hard, it just is it's a complicated question to

580
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,040
Speaker 3: ask one and you it's one of those like where

581
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 3: you know, how they say you shouldn't ask a woman

582
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 3: her age, It's that's there too.

583
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 1: You shouldn't ask a woman where's your kid or.

584
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 3: Why she doesn't have kids. It's one of those questions

585
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 3: where you're just not supposed to ask. Yeah, but you

586
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:56,920
Speaker 3: shouldn't ask if.

587
00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 1: They have No. You shouldn't ask why don't you have kids? Yes?

588
00:26:59,560 --> 00:26:59,639
Speaker 5: Oh?

589
00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:00,680
Speaker 1: Why?

590
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 3: You know, it's one of those writ it's a personal

591
00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 3: thing that or taught don't even yeah, yeah.

592
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:08,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, And that is also frustrating.

593
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,199
Speaker 5: I empathize with and have compassion for the men and

594
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 5: the women in this equation, right because if I'm a man,

595
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,399
Speaker 5: I want to know what I'm signing up for. It

596
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 5: doesn't mean I won't still sign up for it. But

597
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 5: then there is some some hesitation around being inappropriate, crossing

598
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 5: a line, triggering a woman potentially what you don't want

599
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 5: to do. But these are conversations that I think we

600
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:30,679
Speaker 5: men and women need to get more comfortable having with

601
00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,600
Speaker 5: each other. I will say this last round, these last

602
00:27:34,680 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 5: rounds that I was doing, I was traveling a lot.

603
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,120
Speaker 5: I was doing injections. I remember, I was doing them

604
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,720
Speaker 5: for and after award shows.

605
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,440
Speaker 1: How long are you doing it? For the red carpet

606
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 1: I was.

607
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 5: I had to inject from my car because the red

608
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:47,360
Speaker 5: carpet wrapped out a certain.

609
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 3: Has every time, the same same day, yeah, same time,

610
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 3: every day.

611
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,880
Speaker 5: Wherever I was at nine to fifteen pm didn't matter,

612
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 5: did not matter. So those needles were everywhere with me.

613
00:27:57,359 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 5: I learned to travel like a pro tsa pre check.

614
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,639
Speaker 5: They hated to see me coming because it was a

615
00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 5: bag full of needles, syringes, formulas.

616
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,320
Speaker 1: I was hosting a gala in London. Oh, so suddenly

617
00:28:07,359 --> 00:28:09,040
Speaker 1: I'm having to do the math, the math for the

618
00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 1: time difference at like one am or whatever it was,

619
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 1: to do the shots that I was dating at the time,

620
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:15,880
Speaker 1: you know.

621
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,679
Speaker 3: And it impacts here, It impacts are you when you

622
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:20,000
Speaker 3: can have sex to write or no?

623
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, wait, love is this version? It does.

624
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 5: Not really not really okay, you can do what you're

625
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,720
Speaker 5: gonna do. The only time that that sort of becomes

626
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 5: a part of consideration is around the time that you're

627
00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:38,080
Speaker 5: about to retrieve, retreating daily, especially immediately post retreatal.

628
00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,360
Speaker 1: You don't want any post retrieval. You can't, you don't

629
00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:44,200
Speaker 1: want anyone in there. Yes, yes, you're just so uncomfortable. Yes,

630
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: so daily and how long does do you take shots?

631
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 5: So cycles normally, like retrieval cycles, essentially normally go between

632
00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 5: ten to fourteen days of daily or nightly injections.

633
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:56,560
Speaker 1: You work with your doctor to determine what time that's

634
00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: gonna be. They obsessively monitor your hormone levels. So for

635
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 1: this last round that I did actually with Ova egg

636
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,400
Speaker 1: Freezing at Chicago, they're incredible. I highly recommend them.

637
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:09,920
Speaker 5: I was going into the office probably every other day, wow,

638
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 5: to do my blood work, to check my hormone levels,

639
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:15,520
Speaker 5: to do the ultrasound and see.

640
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 1: How big and juicy those follicles that the windows are

641
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: so small.

642
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,600
Speaker 3: If anything's off, they'll have to like change your door, like, oh,

643
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:23,960
Speaker 3: they'll have to switch medication.

644
00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 1: Help every day that we're going up on this hormone.

645
00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 1: We need reined in on this. It is truly a science.

646
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 5: And so I say ten to fourteen because you could

647
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,240
Speaker 5: think it's going to take you ten days, it could

648
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 5: take you fourteen your body.

649
00:29:37,160 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 1: Needs more hormones, or ooh, these eggs get real big.

650
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 1: We need to take about now, because it's ye.

651
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:44,920
Speaker 5: Like, if they mature and then get beyond that, they

652
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 5: still get tossed. Right, if they don't mature enough, they

653
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,120
Speaker 5: get tossed. I used to think when I first came

654
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 5: into this, Oh, however, many eggs y'all see on the ultrasound,

655
00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 5: Let's go, that's somebody coming out.

656
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 1: But that's not the case.

657
00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,560
Speaker 5: So even when they retrieve them, let's say hypothetically you

658
00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:02,240
Speaker 5: get six ten eggs drawn, right, I'm not talking about

659
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,960
Speaker 5: my number specifically, but just for example, sixteen eggs drawn,

660
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:07,360
Speaker 5: you still have to wait another day or so to

661
00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 5: find out how many of those survived retrieval and were

662
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:14,040
Speaker 5: actually mature enough to be frozen. So sixteen you drew,

663
00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:18,120
Speaker 5: could easily become nine or ten frozen eggs.

664
00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,080
Speaker 3: And I think the other part that has been the

665
00:30:20,120 --> 00:30:23,040
Speaker 3: most interesting that I just found out as well, is

666
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:26,280
Speaker 3: not only is this process costly, right, you have to

667
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:30,400
Speaker 3: pay for storage yep, nine hundred dollars for storage of

668
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 3: the eggs until you decide to use them, until you

669
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,760
Speaker 3: find a partner. And like my friend had one of

670
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 3: my friends had her eggs retrieved. Oh my god, maybe

671
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,680
Speaker 3: like four years ago now, and so to hear about

672
00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 3: like like how she got to.

673
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 1: Pay credit card car.

674
00:30:43,280 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 3: No, there's a storage feet for her to be for

675
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:48,440
Speaker 3: those eggs to be storage.

676
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 1: So it stored in a cryo facility.

677
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:53,560
Speaker 2: Like people listening that think the storage is crazy, Yes,

678
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 2: you really do. And it's basically to me, it's part

679
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:02,080
Speaker 2: of the thing where we had a friend of ours,

680
00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,720
Speaker 2: friend of the show and author, Liz Goldwyn. So she's

681
00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,560
Speaker 2: also a sexpert sex author and has her books on it,

682
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,600
Speaker 2: and she said to me when I was about to freeze,

683
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,280
Speaker 2: I feel like you have now been part of the

684
00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 2: spear mongering. I said this Tar at thirty, I feel

685
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,320
Speaker 2: like you've been part of spear mongering. You just told

686
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 2: me your mom had you at forty. Why are you

687
00:31:22,120 --> 00:31:25,680
Speaker 2: so fucking scared? Stop freaking out. Don't put your body

688
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 2: through this. Just try first. There's Chinese medicine, there's all

689
00:31:28,720 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 2: these different ways. Everybody I know is having kids later, like,

690
00:31:32,040 --> 00:31:35,400
Speaker 2: why are you obsessing about this egg freezing and basically

691
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 2: said to me, like, do you understand how much it'll

692
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 2: cost you later if you do it young? Like what

693
00:31:40,160 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 2: if you end up getting pregnant. You're just sitting here

694
00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 2: holding on And part of that thing was storage. Yeah,

695
00:31:44,320 --> 00:31:46,840
Speaker 2: She's like, it'll be a constant reminder of just like

696
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 2: boom here it is here, don't forget blah blah blah.

697
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 2: And she's like, there's a lot high to even having

698
00:31:52,080 --> 00:31:53,000
Speaker 2: those eggs in the world.

699
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 1: Have you egg freezing? By the way?

700
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 3: Okay, I was I was gonna ask you that question.

701
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,960
Speaker 3: Have you had a woman question your decision for that?

702
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:03,160
Speaker 3: And how does that make you? Like?

703
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 1: Like what?

704
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 3: Those conversations kind of made me back, I thought.

705
00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:09,120
Speaker 1: Liz is on our book Yeah Love Liz.

706
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 2: Liz was talking to a thirty year old girl who

707
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,360
Speaker 2: was freaking out and very scared about never finding love.

708
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:16,880
Speaker 2: So I want to thank Liz for that conversation because

709
00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,520
Speaker 2: I do think that we can't encourage.

710
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 1: People both ways.

711
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:22,720
Speaker 2: There are people that are obsessive and overly scared and

712
00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 2: freaking out. And I think that really was what I

713
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:28,880
Speaker 2: needed at the time. Yeah, because it is true. She's like,

714
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:30,720
Speaker 2: there are a lot of times you'll go into a

715
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 2: doctor She's like, nothing's fucking wrong with you.

716
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: Brother, They're pushing you.

717
00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:35,320
Speaker 2: They want you to spend this money, like, don't let

718
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 2: some male doctor push you the wrong way if you.

719
00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 1: Agree with her about that. Yeah, And she's spot on.

720
00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 1: I think it's too distinct and yet sort of neighborly conversations. Right.

721
00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 5: There is a conversation around the emotions that come with

722
00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:55,720
Speaker 5: our fertility or lack thereof, our future children or lack thereof,

723
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:59,000
Speaker 5: and then there's also a conversation around just the process.

724
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 5: And sometimes when those two things intersect, I think because women,

725
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 5: people I love and trust, people who are strangers who

726
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 5: are giving unsolicited opinions to me.

727
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:10,280
Speaker 1: Have said, do you really think you need to do that?

728
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 1: Are you still so young?

729
00:33:11,240 --> 00:33:13,000
Speaker 5: Or girl, I got pregnant at forty two or whatever,

730
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 5: And I love to hear those stories of people getting

731
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:18,680
Speaker 5: pregnant at forty forty plus. I'm not saying I can't

732
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:21,200
Speaker 5: or wouldn't be one of those people. I'm not even

733
00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:25,080
Speaker 5: entirely sure that I wouldn't try naturally first, right, But

734
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:31,480
Speaker 5: for me, it was truly a conscious decision to just

735
00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 5: give myself another option most people, Statistically speaking, most women

736
00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 5: who freeze their eggs do not end up.

737
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 1: Throwing them for the sake of andel were using them.

738
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:42,920
Speaker 5: They end up getting pregnant naturally or not going on

739
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 5: a pregnancy journey themselves, And yet overwhelmingly they've acknowledged that

740
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 5: they still did not regret the choice the choice because

741
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 5: it felt like they bought themselves some peace of mind.

742
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 1: What ages did you do with that?

743
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 5: I did it between the ages of about thirty four

744
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 5: or thirty five. When I started, it was pretty much

745
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 5: pretty much my thirty fifth year of the life that

746
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,840
Speaker 5: I was like knocking it out. I was done by

747
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:08,880
Speaker 5: thirty six, so I think sometime in that window.

748
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 1: But again, I gave myself to thirty six, so I know.

749
00:34:10,800 --> 00:34:11,280
Speaker 1: It was funny.

750
00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:15,359
Speaker 3: One of my friends who froze her eggs doesn't want

751
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 3: children and is still paying for the storage just in

752
00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:21,440
Speaker 3: case it changes. She thought she wanted children when she

753
00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:25,200
Speaker 3: got them frozen. Really could well. First off, I ain't

754
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 3: even got a man. She like, you like, She's like, girl,

755
00:34:27,239 --> 00:34:29,319
Speaker 3: I gotta find somebody. I like first She's might take

756
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:32,440
Speaker 3: twenty years, you know, you know, okay, but literally is

757
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 3: in a phase now where doesn't even want kids. But

758
00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 3: it's still because you know, we all do change our minds,

759
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:41,239
Speaker 3: that's it. So I like your your response and just

760
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,920
Speaker 3: saying like listen. What might not work for you may

761
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:47,440
Speaker 3: work for someone else. Yeah, it's strange because I had

762
00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,360
Speaker 3: to and it's still everywhere if you guys want to

763
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 3: go listen to it. I'm really big on just reproductive

764
00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 3: health for women, especially with all of the things that

765
00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,399
Speaker 3: my closest friends have had to deal with, and one

766
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:01,960
Speaker 3: of the things specifically about me being a woman who

767
00:35:02,040 --> 00:35:04,400
Speaker 3: doesn't want kids, it was very important for me to

768
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 3: support any woman's decision to choose to have eggs. But

769
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,760
Speaker 3: not only that, when you look at genetically within your family,

770
00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,919
Speaker 3: Like my other friend who had the breast cancer, there

771
00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:17,720
Speaker 3: was an urge for her sister to have a double

772
00:35:17,719 --> 00:35:21,600
Speaker 3: missextomy didn't find anything, but when things running your bloodline

773
00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:23,759
Speaker 3: and things like that, you got to do things in

774
00:35:23,800 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 3: a preventative care way. That it's important for anyone listening

775
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,520
Speaker 3: to push your friends to do preventative care. Totally like

776
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:34,600
Speaker 3: because I like that, whether you decide to use them

777
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 3: or not, whether you know I think this is.

778
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:40,759
Speaker 1: Actually very nuanced convo. It is.

779
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:44,640
Speaker 2: I believe everything told me today. If she would have

780
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:46,319
Speaker 2: pushed me to do that, it would have heightened my

781
00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,759
Speaker 2: fear that I was already building on where I was

782
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 2: in that moment, which a lot of people are, which

783
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 2: is why I want to keep reiterating it. And also,

784
00:35:53,920 --> 00:35:56,440
Speaker 2: this is someone that I really love and trust and

785
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 2: know is so pro everything. The woman's been talking about

786
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,160
Speaker 2: sex and documenting it for over twenty years.

787
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:02,480
Speaker 1: Of her life.

788
00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 2: There are a lot of people that choose egg freezing

789
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:11,520
Speaker 2: because of love and partnership over themselves. There was nothing

790
00:36:11,560 --> 00:36:14,680
Speaker 2: about me when I came to her, and that to me,

791
00:36:15,239 --> 00:36:18,319
Speaker 2: that scarcity mindset of like I'm gonna die alone, shit

792
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,840
Speaker 2: is really a fucking problem that now I'm.

793
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:24,719
Speaker 1: Thinking of this, I don't know.

794
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:28,359
Speaker 2: I must say, like the mindset that you have to

795
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:30,319
Speaker 2: be in for egg freezing is also a strong one

796
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,359
Speaker 2: because it's a lot on your body. Yes, So it's

797
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 2: like I'm already in this flighty mood of going through

798
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:35,360
Speaker 2: a breakup.

799
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 1: It was old Bay.

800
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,840
Speaker 2: He's someone I read about a book and I was like,

801
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:41,800
Speaker 2: oh my god, So now there's no one Yeah, because

802
00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,320
Speaker 2: to me, there's got to be a lot of power

803
00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 2: in this choice.

804
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:46,319
Speaker 1: You're right, and I felt like I didn't have it.

805
00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 1: That is, I really appreciate that perspective.

806
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 5: I have friends who've gone through the process with that feeling.

807
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:54,440
Speaker 1: I have been afraid.

808
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 5: Don't get me wrong, I've had moments licking up it

809
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,080
Speaker 5: say like I am gonna die alone?

810
00:36:58,560 --> 00:36:59,839
Speaker 1: What's what we're doing right?

811
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 5: But overwhelmingly, like I said, there's nothing I want more

812
00:37:04,880 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 5: than doing it or getting it in the right way,

813
00:37:07,480 --> 00:37:09,279
Speaker 5: the way that feels right for me. And so as

814
00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:11,000
Speaker 5: much as I want marriage, I want kids, I'm never

815
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 5: going to rush that process.

816
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:13,880
Speaker 1: So it wasn't from a place of fear.

817
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 5: It was just from a place of I know, I'm

818
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:18,239
Speaker 5: never going to choose out of desperation, which means I

819
00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 5: might be single for a while.

820
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 1: Let me just do this.

821
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:24,560
Speaker 5: Thing over here, because I know for sure I want children.

822
00:37:24,680 --> 00:37:26,760
Speaker 5: So I will say there were a lot of emotions

823
00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:30,239
Speaker 5: with it. I didn't feel fear so much as sometimes

824
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 5: rushing loneliness of like you know, injecting yourself every night

825
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,319
Speaker 5: through a chapter of singleness.

826
00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:40,240
Speaker 1: And there were moments where I was angry. I didn't

827
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:42,319
Speaker 1: even know what you were angry. That's so odd a.

828
00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 5: Wife, how unfair it can be for women to have

829
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:48,480
Speaker 5: to be the ones to carry this labor. Sometimes I

830
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,640
Speaker 5: know I'm injecting it, I'm doing it for me because

831
00:37:50,680 --> 00:37:53,000
Speaker 5: I want to be a mom. I know that, hands down,

832
00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:55,359
Speaker 5: but some I also know I want to do it

833
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,759
Speaker 5: with a partner. I know those two things, right, And

834
00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:02,719
Speaker 5: so going through those injections, exhausted, working NonStop, traveling, pay

835
00:38:02,800 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 5: out of pocket, I got a dog like, I got

836
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 5: doings to pay and I'm doing this and it's like,

837
00:38:08,200 --> 00:38:09,120
Speaker 5: what am I doing this for?

838
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,560
Speaker 1: Who am I doing this for? When will I even

839
00:38:11,719 --> 00:38:13,239
Speaker 1: see a return on this?

840
00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,560
Speaker 5: So in certain moments, yeah, I get overwhelmed and the

841
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 5: emotions would skew into sort of negativity or overwhelmed. But

842
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 5: more than that, and I mean the eighty percent of

843
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:27,839
Speaker 5: my experience was rooted in empowerment. I felt like I

844
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,839
Speaker 5: was giving myself a gift that I had the privilege

845
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:31,400
Speaker 5: of being.

846
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 1: Able to before.

847
00:38:32,320 --> 00:38:41,759
Speaker 5: It is expensive, right, how much did you spend so

848
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:45,240
Speaker 5: each cycle you've kind of got, you're looking at around

849
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:47,239
Speaker 5: seven to eight thousands just to kind of get it done.

850
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:51,280
Speaker 5: But then the medicine, that's what medicine is not considered.

851
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 5: I think I certainly didn't give much pops to me

852
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 5: until it was time for me, and.

853
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 1: It was like, that is twelve hundred dollars of like

854
00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,640
Speaker 1: probably like three to four k a pop just just

855
00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 1: on the medication moones.

856
00:39:02,040 --> 00:39:04,560
Speaker 5: You need more se more meds. You thought you were

857
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 5: doing a ten day round, now you're doing fourteen days.

858
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 1: No more days.

859
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 5: Is easily hundreds, if not into the thousands of dollars,

860
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 5: depending on what your dosages are, right, and.

861
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,319
Speaker 3: You have to keep them cool, like keep them in

862
00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:18,560
Speaker 3: a certain temperature rated. Yeah, it's a lot, especially if

863
00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:20,719
Speaker 3: you're traveling. You gotta do the ice pack.

864
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 1: You gotta do.

865
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 3: It's a whole like science project.

866
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 2: Yes, like donated so much money and like did all

867
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:31,240
Speaker 2: these like fundraisers for it, and it was so random

868
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,520
Speaker 2: to see, but I was like, yo, it really is

869
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 2: like when you're living with money from a place of

870
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,760
Speaker 2: privilege and being like fuck, these problems affect everybody.

871
00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I never.

872
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,080
Speaker 2: Considered how expensive would be until about homegirls like not

873
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:47,640
Speaker 2: vil vado conversation.

874
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,960
Speaker 1: Not borrow fifteen and dollars. I'm like casual.

875
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 2: Oh, like yeah, we've been good friends a long time.

876
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,799
Speaker 2: But she's got money, you know, like you know, she's

877
00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:58,759
Speaker 2: not down and out, So it's a weird like this bitch,

878
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,600
Speaker 2: I ain't never ask you for money. She like, look,

879
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:02,759
Speaker 2: I'm not to quit my job. They cover and half

880
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,560
Speaker 2: the eggs. So I thought, let me get this done

881
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:07,080
Speaker 2: before it's more expensive.

882
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,000
Speaker 1: And I know you gonna say hell yes to this,

883
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:10,680
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh yeah, hell yes.

884
00:40:10,880 --> 00:40:13,200
Speaker 2: So when I asked her how much it was, she said,

885
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,400
Speaker 2: I'm gonna have to spend about sixty five hundred that

886
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 2: my job is covering. The rest was twelve total, and

887
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:20,439
Speaker 2: she said, I actually don't want to spend this money.

888
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 1: I prefer to buy a house.

889
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 2: But I realized these are one of the expenses of

890
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:26,760
Speaker 2: my life that are going to cost a lot of money,

891
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 2: and it's something that I think can't wait before the

892
00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:31,839
Speaker 2: home rates will go down.

893
00:40:32,320 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 1: So are my eggs. I'm gonna do this shit right.

894
00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:39,640
Speaker 2: Now, And I encourage anyone listening the Facebook group many

895
00:40:39,719 --> 00:40:43,560
Speaker 2: advice like the advice you offered. Also, like with insurance,

896
00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:48,280
Speaker 2: there's different type of places and the grants and the fundraisers.

897
00:40:48,400 --> 00:40:50,839
Speaker 2: Did not know you could actually get an egg freezing grant.

898
00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:51,800
Speaker 1: We do this online.

899
00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:55,400
Speaker 2: A lot of families are like donating themselves, a lot

900
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 2: of rich people that had all these X one to

901
00:40:57,560 --> 00:40:58,600
Speaker 2: two kids like Elon.

902
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: Trust me, there's a lot out there.

903
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:04,479
Speaker 2: So don't feel too discouraged by hearing that big number

904
00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:08,080
Speaker 2: seven thousand, like it got zero apr orty girl zero

905
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 2: percent thinks like I think there's a way. But one

906
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:15,080
Speaker 2: thing that's super interested to talk about. You said that

907
00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 2: you want to have a kid with a partner. I

908
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,359
Speaker 2: love hearing that because sometimes the egg and freezing maybe

909
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:22,320
Speaker 2: be like, okay, well where are you gonna go it?

910
00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: Sprian big gonna pick a friend?

911
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 2: Do you think that saying it sounds there's so many

912
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:31,279
Speaker 2: beacons of strength, Like we just saw M. D. K.

913
00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 2: Williams have a big and I was like, oh damn,

914
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 2: that's so like fuck yeah. But at the same time,

915
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,479
Speaker 2: I've sometimes felt silly by saying I want to wait

916
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 2: for someone, So what do you think?

917
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:43,759
Speaker 1: No, I appreciate hearing that.

918
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 5: I do think, you know, especially because I'm a woman

919
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 5: who it's like in one breath I'm saying it empowered

920
00:41:49,719 --> 00:41:51,560
Speaker 5: me to freeze my eggs and you know, I'm my

921
00:41:51,600 --> 00:41:54,480
Speaker 5: own person, and then on the other side, I'm like, butt,

922
00:41:55,600 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 5: he's babies with you know, But like that is the

923
00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 5: duality of life and being a woman, like two things

924
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:03,480
Speaker 5: can be true at once, and so I love hearing

925
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,239
Speaker 5: that because I felt similarly where it's kind of like

926
00:42:06,920 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 5: now This is the part I have to admit. I

927
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:12,239
Speaker 5: do want the partner. I want the marriage, I want

928
00:42:12,239 --> 00:42:15,520
Speaker 5: the husband. I want to create a family unit that

929
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:19,439
Speaker 5: looks and feels like my family unit in certain ways

930
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:20,280
Speaker 5: and different the others.

931
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:21,839
Speaker 1: But I want that and I love.

932
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 3: What I love about what you're saying, too, is they

933
00:42:24,520 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 3: confuse the word empowered when a woman says it to

934
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:32,120
Speaker 3: mean this masculine day we hate man movement, And it's like,

935
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 3: you can be an empowered woman and want a partner

936
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:39,919
Speaker 3: or a man right next to you too. Sexual liberation, empowerment, feminism,

937
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 3: all these things have been related to women who hate men.

938
00:42:43,120 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 3: And I can be an empowered, powerful woman and still

939
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 3: want the traditional looks of a relationship or want a

940
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,560
Speaker 3: man by my side. So I love that, you know,

941
00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,560
Speaker 3: like two things can be true. Bitch, I'm empowered and

942
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 3: I still want a man.

943
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,880
Speaker 1: Okay, but that is exactly what I like.

944
00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:00,799
Speaker 2: I don't think there's anything wrong with saying that, Like,

945
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 2: you know, seeking partnership or love is like that, shit

946
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 2: is okay, Like bitch o, people I don't like going

947
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 2: out to the club alone.

948
00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:11,080
Speaker 1: Don't al of fire? Right right?

949
00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:14,560
Speaker 3: Can I ask you if you and this if I

950
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:16,080
Speaker 3: don't know if this is a good question not to

951
00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,239
Speaker 3: ask you, but I'm but it went to my mind.

952
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 1: Okay, as a woman still aging.

953
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,160
Speaker 3: There also is a thing by the way, once you're

954
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:27,239
Speaker 3: like thirty four year geriatric pregnancy, right, and so is

955
00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,319
Speaker 3: there a timeline that you have for yourself bringing back

956
00:43:30,320 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 3: ebony again, she had a timeline. If I don't get

957
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:34,560
Speaker 3: a partner by this, I'm still going forward with it

958
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:38,000
Speaker 3: because again, complications can arise. Do you have a timeline

959
00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:40,959
Speaker 3: or would you be open to surrogacy? If you feel

960
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,239
Speaker 3: like I am open, you are open to serrogacy.

961
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 5: Okay, already I would like to experience the journey of

962
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:52,040
Speaker 5: pregnancy for myself, right, God is gonna do them when

963
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,440
Speaker 5: that path is going to be laid out, how it

964
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,160
Speaker 5: will be. So I am not so attached to the

965
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:57,960
Speaker 5: idea of that that I would be devastating to tell.

966
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that A lot of years have learned

967
00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: it is detached. I'll set the intention. Who knows, you know?

968
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 2: Judging for surrogacy though, did you see how the world

969
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:11,760
Speaker 2: treated Kim Kardashian. Now, yeah, we all thought, oh, her body,

970
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:13,040
Speaker 2: she doesn'tant to fuck up her body.

971
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:14,880
Speaker 1: But I'm like, oh, they're helpless.

972
00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:17,600
Speaker 3: There's a lot of health perss. I think, what's great

973
00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:20,520
Speaker 3: about what you said? And I'm a I'm a bravo girly.

974
00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:22,960
Speaker 1: So I loved it these convers carrieon.

975
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:28,719
Speaker 3: I loved these conversations, like the IVF conversation Candy went

976
00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 3: through sarrogacy. Shamia is also, you know, showing her her

977
00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:37,680
Speaker 3: journey going through that. I think specifically as black women

978
00:44:37,719 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 3: with that, because it's.

979
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 1: The white girl on New York that was going through that.

980
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,560
Speaker 3: But I think that it's really dope that now these

981
00:44:44,600 --> 00:44:48,880
Speaker 3: conversations are being put into entertainment because this is why

982
00:44:48,960 --> 00:44:50,759
Speaker 3: we're learning about it. These are why we're able to

983
00:44:50,760 --> 00:44:54,439
Speaker 3: have these conversations and hopefully people listening are like, oh shit,

984
00:44:54,600 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 3: I didn't know this, Like they're they do want to

985
00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,480
Speaker 3: hear us talking about sucking dick on the show, right,

986
00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:03,760
Speaker 3: because it's entertainment. But in the ways that we're experiencing entertainment,

987
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 3: these are the conversations that people aren't interested in hearing about.

988
00:45:07,280 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 3: What is this journey about? What, what does it feel like?

989
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:11,680
Speaker 3: What are the emotions in what ways? If this is

990
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 3: what I have to consider, do I navigate this for

991
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:18,160
Speaker 3: myself and specifically as black women holding the space for

992
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 3: these conversations.

993
00:45:19,080 --> 00:45:20,440
Speaker 1: It's so important.

994
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,120
Speaker 3: So I appreciate that absolucely just for you. Want to

995
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,200
Speaker 3: like you open to sharing this?

996
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 1: I know I'm more than happy to. Is that meed

997
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:28,600
Speaker 1: my phone?

998
00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:33,960
Speaker 2: Don't worry, don't the eggs are calling like, hey, I

999
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:34,960
Speaker 2: like to patch us in.

1000
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:36,960
Speaker 1: We have something. I just googled how.

1001
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,520
Speaker 2: Much surrogacy costs, and for insurance it says between ten

1002
00:45:39,600 --> 00:45:40,920
Speaker 2: to thirty thousand dollars.

1003
00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was my album.

1004
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:49,239
Speaker 5: My rounds were averaging about Fourteencroency is a whole nother call.

1005
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 1: You gotta be rich. You gotta be rich for listen, now,

1006
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 1: you gotta be rich usual baby mama, because let me

1007
00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:58,640
Speaker 1: tell you what I would do. Wait, but baby Mama,

1008
00:45:58,680 --> 00:46:00,640
Speaker 1: all right for sure? Oh.

1009
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,400
Speaker 2: At first I was like, so I feel like if

1010
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:06,160
Speaker 2: I go through an agency, if I had to do surrogacy.

1011
00:46:06,719 --> 00:46:08,960
Speaker 1: Do you remember the movie Baby Mama? Yeah? Yeah, yeah?

1012
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 2: Do you remember with Tina Fey It was Amy Poehler

1013
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:12,960
Speaker 2: and then she had her baby, but there were she

1014
00:46:13,040 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 2: was like kind of trailer park, they'd move it.

1015
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,160
Speaker 1: So in my head, I'm like, oh my god, I'm

1016
00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:21,040
Speaker 1: gonna have a horror story. So I feel like I

1017
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:21,800
Speaker 1: would do.

1018
00:46:21,760 --> 00:46:26,080
Speaker 2: My best to choose someone that I know, don't know

1019
00:46:27,200 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 2: and see if if maybe someone that doesn't want to

1020
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:32,439
Speaker 2: have children, and maybe see if they be comfortable with it.

1021
00:46:32,680 --> 00:46:35,200
Speaker 5: Oh, so you are considering finding someone to be a

1022
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,319
Speaker 5: surrogate that I know, I kind of know someone who

1023
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:38,360
Speaker 5: would go through.

1024
00:46:38,200 --> 00:46:39,800
Speaker 1: That process for it.

1025
00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,840
Speaker 2: It's like, what kind of connection would I want with

1026
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:46,160
Speaker 2: this person? And if I chose someone from a website.

1027
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 2: Baby Mama used to be one of my favorite movies

1028
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:50,840
Speaker 2: to throw on as a teenager, and I literally I think.

1029
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:52,600
Speaker 1: It's that trauma that you care from watching the movie

1030
00:46:52,600 --> 00:46:54,719
Speaker 1: that yeah, just also thinking like what have you just

1031
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:55,760
Speaker 1: started eating bullshit?

1032
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:57,920
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm just some person and you really need to

1033
00:46:57,920 --> 00:46:59,799
Speaker 2: just get some bread at the end of the day.

1034
00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:01,919
Speaker 1: Maybe don't. You're not doing this because.

1035
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:05,160
Speaker 3: I want someone who to hate kids. I want someone

1036
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:08,239
Speaker 3: who knows how to be pregnant. I want someone who

1037
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:12,080
Speaker 3: who didn't had the bag. I want a woman who

1038
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:13,040
Speaker 3: knows how to be pregnant.

1039
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: It's real. It's like I want you.

1040
00:47:14,600 --> 00:47:17,240
Speaker 2: To eat super Greens one percent. Do y'all know Miles

1041
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,359
Speaker 2: the music kid? Have you ever seen him, his little

1042
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 2: white boy. He can hear a note and fucking play

1043
00:47:22,120 --> 00:47:23,920
Speaker 2: it and like just do all this shit. He's like

1044
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:26,440
Speaker 2: super super super smart. But that's like millions of followers.

1045
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 2: And someone left in the comments to his mother what

1046
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 2: did you eat? What was different? And I'm for real,

1047
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:35,480
Speaker 2: like what y'all doing there? I want that kid speaking

1048
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:37,879
Speaker 2: Japanese to come out. You know what's crazy you saying

1049
00:47:37,880 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 2: that is because they have it. He might be autistic

1050
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:44,279
Speaker 2: and there's only no, no, no, but in a good way.

1051
00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:47,279
Speaker 1: And when there's baby genius sit you want to.

1052
00:47:47,320 --> 00:47:50,960
Speaker 3: Lean into genius like that phrase instead of autism.

1053
00:47:51,040 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 1: But we got to get tired. Oh my god.

1054
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:59,600
Speaker 3: President alright, she said, just so you know, I do

1055
00:47:59,719 --> 00:48:01,759
Speaker 3: not are the thoughts and opinions of the bitches on

1056
00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:02,480
Speaker 3: this podcast.

1057
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:06,560
Speaker 1: I'm just a guess ohot opin that.

1058
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:10,880
Speaker 2: I'm up evil now terraffic. Just Wo'd love to know

1059
00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:13,919
Speaker 2: who is your support system during the time.

1060
00:48:14,640 --> 00:48:17,320
Speaker 5: I love that question. I'm super close with my family.

1061
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,359
Speaker 5: I've gotten closer to my mother. I've always been really

1062
00:48:20,360 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 5: close with both of my parents, but I've always been

1063
00:48:22,400 --> 00:48:24,440
Speaker 5: a daddy's girl, like we were just so synced in

1064
00:48:24,520 --> 00:48:27,640
Speaker 5: and for those twenties when I was navigating the workplace

1065
00:48:27,680 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 5: and climbing and conquering, like that's my dude.

1066
00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 1: I'm calling Joe. My mom. We've always been really tight.

1067
00:48:33,560 --> 00:48:36,400
Speaker 5: As I have thought more about motherhood, thought and gone

1068
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 5: through this journey of you know, the egg freezing, I

1069
00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 5: have such an appreciation for her that I couldn't have

1070
00:48:42,760 --> 00:48:44,439
Speaker 5: before I started thinking in that way.

1071
00:48:44,520 --> 00:48:44,880
Speaker 1: I love it.

1072
00:48:44,880 --> 00:48:47,400
Speaker 5: And so my mom has been an incredible sort of

1073
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:49,919
Speaker 5: side by side person in this calling me. She would

1074
00:48:49,960 --> 00:48:51,919
Speaker 5: sometimes sit with me on FaceTime when I was doing

1075
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,280
Speaker 5: the injections, just so that I didn't have to feel alone.

1076
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:55,440
Speaker 1: There was someone there.

1077
00:48:55,280 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 5: To witness this part of my journey, which otherwise would

1078
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:01,080
Speaker 5: have felt very isolating. But I would say, it's it's

1079
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 5: my parents, it's my family, my best friends. I have beautiful,

1080
00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 5: incredible women in my life, and we are so locked

1081
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:11,520
Speaker 5: in on supporting each other's personal, professional, emotional journeys. So

1082
00:49:11,680 --> 00:49:15,200
Speaker 5: my best friend, you know, she's in Phoenix, but she

1083
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:17,200
Speaker 5: was always there if I needed to talk, if I

1084
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:21,000
Speaker 5: needed to download It's Yeah, it's actually a really special

1085
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 5: thing to go through because even though doing it can

1086
00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:26,280
Speaker 5: feel isolating, or maybe you feel so alone, you realize

1087
00:49:26,280 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 5: you have this incredible tribe, this incredible community of people who,

1088
00:49:30,320 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 5: particularly if you're going through it as a single person

1089
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:35,719
Speaker 5: who doesn't want to be single forever, you're reminded of

1090
00:49:35,719 --> 00:49:38,680
Speaker 5: all the people who show up for you in that gap.

1091
00:49:38,760 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 1: So for me, it's the family, it's.

1092
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,839
Speaker 2: The love good, like I think finding an anchor through

1093
00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:45,920
Speaker 2: any intense medical even.

1094
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,320
Speaker 1: Like I'm just thinking because you're you're motioning like the

1095
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:50,279
Speaker 1: stuffach even weight loss brouh.

1096
00:49:50,360 --> 00:49:53,040
Speaker 2: One of my homegirls just started fucking ozipa and she'd

1097
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 2: be calling me really like struggling through how she feels

1098
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 2: about it. She's like, Damn, I thought I love my

1099
00:49:57,680 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 2: body and now loving myself in a way that makes

1100
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:02,080
Speaker 2: me feel like, did I hate myself? Like I think

1101
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:05,320
Speaker 2: any kind of change that we're going through, we really

1102
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:07,680
Speaker 2: do need to find that person that we can still

1103
00:50:07,719 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 2: all to if therapy isn't for you, because some people

1104
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:13,719
Speaker 2: I don't know it doesn't work for them. I do

1105
00:50:13,840 --> 00:50:16,359
Speaker 2: my best, and sometimes it can be seasonal with friends,

1106
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 2: right Like, I'm sure when I've become a mom, I

1107
00:50:18,680 --> 00:50:22,240
Speaker 2: may become closer to certain friends I wasn't for Right now.

1108
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:24,279
Speaker 1: I like my whole friends I'm a man. I like

1109
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 1: going to the club. You know what I'm saying.

1110
00:50:25,680 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, So like I think really finding that anchor, and

1111
00:50:28,239 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 2: I like that you've got your family. For those who

1112
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:34,280
Speaker 2: don't like, get that girl squad going, Ladies listening seriously,

1113
00:50:34,360 --> 00:50:36,200
Speaker 2: Like if there's someone that you haven't.

1114
00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:37,839
Speaker 1: Talked to in a while, pick up the phone.

1115
00:50:38,120 --> 00:50:42,080
Speaker 2: Making sure that, like, we're really investing in those friendships,

1116
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:45,080
Speaker 2: because even your partner may not be easy to talk

1117
00:50:45,080 --> 00:50:46,319
Speaker 2: to you for actially.

1118
00:50:46,120 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 5: I just wouldn't understand, no matter how hard they may try.

1119
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:50,920
Speaker 5: And I appreciate you saying that because it was only

1120
00:50:51,000 --> 00:50:53,479
Speaker 5: after I started speaking out publicly about this a couple

1121
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,560
Speaker 5: of years ago. Friends I have obviously not my besties,

1122
00:50:56,560 --> 00:50:58,800
Speaker 5: we would have talked about it, but that I've broken

1123
00:50:58,840 --> 00:50:59,239
Speaker 5: red with.

1124
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:01,760
Speaker 1: We talked about overwine, about all the things.

1125
00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,960
Speaker 5: They never brought it up, and so once I came

1126
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:06,320
Speaker 5: out publicly, they were texting me.

1127
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:08,439
Speaker 1: You're like, oh my god, girl, I did it five

1128
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: years old.

1129
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:11,560
Speaker 3: You don't say nothing because I should have probably knocked

1130
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 3: it out again, these are things, yea, sometimes we don't

1131
00:51:14,640 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 3: share and you do it by yourself.

1132
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:18,080
Speaker 1: So it's that's why I said I love you.

1133
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:22,200
Speaker 5: I realized like man, she felt like she had to

1134
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 5: just do that, and there was way more shadowy stigma

1135
00:51:25,239 --> 00:51:28,239
Speaker 5: around it then than there is now. Or there were

1136
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:30,160
Speaker 5: friends who were like, oh my god, I didn't know

1137
00:51:30,160 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 5: you did it. Have so many questions. I have my

1138
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:34,680
Speaker 5: first meeting with a doctor or a friend telling me

1139
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:38,120
Speaker 5: I just booked my first consultation and I found out.

1140
00:51:38,239 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 1: I've got fibers or I've got clever.

1141
00:51:40,239 --> 00:51:43,319
Speaker 5: But I'm so glad that it pushed them to do it,

1142
00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:46,440
Speaker 5: because now you know the information is power, and now

1143
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:47,319
Speaker 5: you know what to do with it.

1144
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 1: It might suck.

1145
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 5: I know, we get tempted to stick our heads in

1146
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 5: the sand for things that are uncomfortable or overwhelming.

1147
00:51:52,080 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 1: Myself included, but I promise I won't promise, I'll speak

1148
00:51:55,719 --> 00:51:56,320
Speaker 1: for myself.

1149
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,680
Speaker 5: I would rather know what I am working with, not

1150
00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,760
Speaker 5: work so that I can make a conscious and informed decision,

1151
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:04,840
Speaker 5: then just keep putting it off because I'm afraid of

1152
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:06,279
Speaker 5: the answer, because the answer is are going to be

1153
00:52:06,320 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 5: my reality regardless, and I'd rather not wait into the

1154
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:11,439
Speaker 5: last minute. So the friends who have popped in like hey,

1155
00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:13,920
Speaker 5: can you tell me more, I've actually been curious. It

1156
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 5: made me realize so many of us, women, particularly in

1157
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 5: our thirties and beyond, have been navigating this, if only internally,

1158
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:23,800
Speaker 5: and I hope through.

1159
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:26,440
Speaker 1: Conversations like these, we just kind of remove the stima.

1160
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:29,280
Speaker 1: It's not it's serious, but it's not that it doesn't

1161
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:31,600
Speaker 1: have to be that there's someone else has done it,

1162
00:52:31,719 --> 00:52:32,960
Speaker 1: like you don know done it.

1163
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:35,040
Speaker 3: I mean it's the same way as women we used

1164
00:52:35,040 --> 00:52:37,080
Speaker 3: to be embarrassed to have to go get pads and

1165
00:52:37,120 --> 00:52:38,240
Speaker 3: tamans off the store.

1166
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:40,600
Speaker 1: And the older you get, the more normalized and.

1167
00:52:40,600 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 3: Comfortable you are with it. That's the way we have

1168
00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:43,760
Speaker 3: to treat these types of conversation.

1169
00:52:43,800 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 2: And most times, like women will really offer themselves up

1170
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 2: to you, like I've had so many firebriad experiences. In

1171
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 2: last year, I heard some girls I feel like they

1172
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:53,680
Speaker 2: have you now. But I know when I jumped in

1173
00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:56,840
Speaker 2: that convo at a random dinner, They're like about but

1174
00:52:56,880 --> 00:52:58,600
Speaker 2: I was eating alone at Alba.

1175
00:52:58,760 --> 00:52:59,279
Speaker 1: Was so good.

1176
00:53:00,400 --> 00:53:02,400
Speaker 2: These girls were like freaking out by fevers. I'm like,

1177
00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:03,839
Speaker 2: so sorry to jump in.

1178
00:53:03,920 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 1: Can I cheme in her? I fid uf me too,

1179
00:53:06,200 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 1: wasn't great.

1180
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:09,480
Speaker 2: Tot tried this and they were like really grateful dinner

1181
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 2: And I'm telling you like the way we can all

1182
00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,200
Speaker 2: show up for each other. But again, what happened to

1183
00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:17,600
Speaker 2: me my experience with being suggested egg freezing was by

1184
00:53:17,600 --> 00:53:21,760
Speaker 2: a male doctor who's very pushy about it. That sometimes

1185
00:53:21,760 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 2: that medical phobia of like you're already like fearful of

1186
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,000
Speaker 2: the doctor, and now they make you more scared, like

1187
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:27,440
Speaker 2: there's got to be a warm place.

1188
00:53:27,440 --> 00:53:29,799
Speaker 1: And so we hope we were that few today. And

1189
00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:31,359
Speaker 1: I know that you guys are mad because you want

1190
00:53:31,360 --> 00:53:31,680
Speaker 1: to know.

1191
00:53:31,600 --> 00:53:36,480
Speaker 2: Who's very fucking has she like me, Zuri before you

1192
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:37,840
Speaker 2: get out of here, tell them where to find you,

1193
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:39,319
Speaker 2: but also tell them your favorite position.

1194
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:40,799
Speaker 5: I don't want to be like, tell them who you're

1195
00:53:40,800 --> 00:53:43,280
Speaker 5: a fing it tell you.

1196
00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 1: I don't think I want to do that. Okay, what's

1197
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:48,200
Speaker 1: the first question? Favorite position? That was the second question,

1198
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:55,360
Speaker 1: But I answer the asking. She said, I'm a virgin.

1199
00:53:57,239 --> 00:53:58,960
Speaker 1: I'll make it a really nice question for you.

1200
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 2: Here's how you want to know out Are you looking

1201
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:04,160
Speaker 2: down or are you looking in his eyes?

1202
00:54:05,680 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 1: Oh? It just depends.

1203
00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:10,879
Speaker 5: I'm a Gemini, So I trust me when I say

1204
00:54:10,960 --> 00:54:17,080
Speaker 5: I am a very people would be surprised to experience.

1205
00:54:16,360 --> 00:54:21,040
Speaker 1: Me and all the dimensions. I know my dimensions. It

1206
00:54:21,080 --> 00:54:22,560
Speaker 1: depends on the day, because if that is not me,

1207
00:54:22,600 --> 00:54:23,440
Speaker 1: you trying to get out of it.

1208
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 2: She also, by the way, has on very little hoops

1209
00:54:27,120 --> 00:54:28,800
Speaker 2: and you know what they say, the bigger than hoop.

1210
00:54:29,120 --> 00:54:29,840
Speaker 5: So not.

1211
00:54:31,840 --> 00:54:35,439
Speaker 1: For Zurri. Oh wait, I'm not even taking this for.

1212
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:38,839
Speaker 5: I like to keep it fine and I like to

1213
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 5: switch things up, and I like to you know, we'll put.

1214
00:54:42,080 --> 00:54:44,319
Speaker 2: Some resources if we can, We'll ask it. We'll put

1215
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:46,400
Speaker 2: the name of that place in Chicago. We'll put as

1216
00:54:46,400 --> 00:54:48,800
Speaker 2: many resources as we can to help egg freezing. In

1217
00:54:48,840 --> 00:54:51,479
Speaker 2: the description, I will remind myself to do this because

1218
00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:52,239
Speaker 2: I had.

1219
00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:53,960
Speaker 5: Yes, and I have a highlight ro Go to my Instagram.

1220
00:54:53,960 --> 00:54:56,200
Speaker 5: I've got highlight Q and as all of this as

1221
00:54:56,239 --> 00:54:59,480
Speaker 5: you for sure. I have so much content on Instagram

1222
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:02,440
Speaker 5: where followers have asked me, and I'm super transparent.

1223
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:04,480
Speaker 1: I get it into the supplements I've taken.

1224
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:07,080
Speaker 5: I'm a big advocate for Eastern medicine in addition to

1225
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:10,680
Speaker 5: Western practices, acupuncture, eastam, all the things.

1226
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:14,160
Speaker 1: So go there for that. And then also, can I

1227
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:15,560
Speaker 1: play a little something real quick? Yeah?

1228
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:17,279
Speaker 5: Okay, so we just want you to join a wait list.

1229
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:18,400
Speaker 5: I have a new show that by the time this

1230
00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:22,520
Speaker 5: comes out maybe premier if well, yes, so you'll see

1231
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,719
Speaker 5: it on Instagram if it's happened by then. But I

1232
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:27,839
Speaker 5: also have a wait list join zurivip dot com. It'll

1233
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:29,680
Speaker 5: be the first to know. I'm really excited about it.

1234
00:55:29,719 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 1: So I like you. I like you name your show.

1235
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:35,360
Speaker 5: So the show is called Not About Sports and it

1236
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 5: is an incredibly fun, irreverent and thoughtful series interview series

1237
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:42,960
Speaker 5: with some of the world's biggest sports stars, athletes, wax

1238
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:47,800
Speaker 5: sports adjacent realities. Yes, which is very fun about everything

1239
00:55:47,800 --> 00:55:51,319
Speaker 5: except famous.

1240
00:55:51,280 --> 00:55:54,440
Speaker 1: For talking about the stories not the stats. Like it.

1241
00:55:54,600 --> 00:55:56,480
Speaker 1: I'm very excited. That is when we get in. Where

1242
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:58,120
Speaker 1: can we watch? So it's digital so you'll be able

1243
00:55:58,160 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 1: to watch on YouTube. Depend on the stairs.

1244
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:03,160
Speaker 5: You can watch it now on YouTube YouTube dot com

1245
00:56:03,200 --> 00:56:04,160
Speaker 5: slash Hayzury Hall.

1246
00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 1: And then also we're doing short form on Instagram. So

1247
00:56:07,000 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 1: if you see it there, got it? I love that. Yes, yes, well,

1248
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:13,920
Speaker 1: thank you Sary so much for joining h thank you.

1249
00:56:14,120 --> 00:56:17,319
Speaker 3: If you guys want to check out Horrible Decisions, which yes,

1250
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:20,280
Speaker 3: still does exist, you have to go over to Patreon.

1251
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:22,359
Speaker 1: That's patreon dot com.

1252
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:26,560
Speaker 3: Backslash Look, I never know which camera backslash Horrible Decisions. Also,

1253
00:56:26,600 --> 00:56:29,080
Speaker 3: if you have not yet, No Holds Barred du a

1254
00:56:29,120 --> 00:56:32,279
Speaker 3: manifesto of sexual exploration and power, go ahead and get

1255
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:36,319
Speaker 3: that book wherever you purchase your books. Anyways, guys, thank

1256
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:38,640
Speaker 3: you guys so very much for tuning in to another

1257
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 3: episode of Decisions Decisions Bivey Bady