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Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another new episode of

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Speaker 1: Couch Talks on You Need Therapy. My name is Kat

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Speaker 1: and couch Talks is the special bonus episode of You

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Speaker 1: Need Therapy that comes out every single week where I

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Speaker 1: answer questions that you guys send into me via Catherine

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Speaker 1: at You Need Therapy podcast dot com. So if you

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Speaker 1: have a question you maybe want me to answer it,

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Speaker 1: you can send it there and maybe one day I will. Now,

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Speaker 1: before we get started, of course, quick reminder, this is

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Speaker 1: not therapy. Although I am a therapist answering questions, we

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Speaker 1: aren't actually doing therapy. Most of us understand that by now.

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Speaker 1: But just after remind everybody for all the new listeners

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Speaker 1: that might be there or here. So usually I do

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Speaker 1: one question, right, Well, this week I had two questions

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Speaker 1: that were kind of similar. And this is something that

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Speaker 1: I actually don't know in depth how much we've talked

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Speaker 1: about this. I think I did in the beginning. But also,

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Speaker 1: the podcast is about to be two years old. In

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Speaker 1: one week is going to be two years old, and

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Speaker 1: that is so wild to me. So maybe I talked

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Speaker 1: about this two years ago, but I think it's time

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Speaker 1: to talk about it again because two years is a

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Speaker 1: long time. I cannot believe that. I just can't. I'm

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Speaker 1: sitting here being like, wow, two years ago, well over

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Speaker 1: two years ago, sitting with my friend Kellen, trying to

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Speaker 1: figure out how to use the internet so I could

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Speaker 1: even make this thing, oh man memories. So thanks guys

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Speaker 1: for whether you're new or you've been here from the beginning,

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Speaker 1: thanks for being here, because the reason I'm still doing

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Speaker 1: this after two years is because somebody found some value

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Speaker 1: on it. So two questions. These are two separate emails,

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Speaker 1: but one kind of comes off of the other one.

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Speaker 1: So I thought we'd talked about both of them. And

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Speaker 1: the first email is right here, so let me read

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Speaker 1: it and then we'll talk about that and then I'll

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Speaker 1: bring in the other one. Cool, all right, Hi Cat,

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Speaker 1: I've been listening to your podcast for a few months

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Speaker 1: and really enjoy it. I just listened to your new

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Speaker 1: episode about fifteen things you've learned about being a therapist,

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Speaker 1: and one of them will a lot of them, but

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Speaker 1: I'm emailing about one. One of them really stood out

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Speaker 1: to me, and that was the one that said we're

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Speaker 1: not too old to do something new. I wanted to

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Speaker 1: see if you could give me any advice or tips

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Speaker 1: on how to become a therapist myself. I've been thinking

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Speaker 1: about this for a while now, as therapists helped me

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Speaker 1: move through some of the toughest times of my life.

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Speaker 1: Now I'm almost forty and have a bachelor's degree already

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Speaker 1: that I can't really use every day. It's a b

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Speaker 1: a in art history. The thought of going back to

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Speaker 1: school seems daunting. Specifically, i'd be interested in being a

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Speaker 1: licensed marriage and family counselor do you have any advice

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Speaker 1: on where I should start, such as what programs to

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Speaker 1: look at or schools that have a good reputation for

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Speaker 1: this kind of degree. Thank you. So I just love

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Speaker 1: this squad because I love when people want to become

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Speaker 1: therapists after they go to therapy. I just think that's

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Speaker 1: so freaking cool. I have a couple, and I've had

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Speaker 1: had a number of clients who've actually done that themselves,

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Speaker 1: and it's just like the coolest thing. Because going to

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Speaker 1: therapy is necessary to be a therapist, so you got

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Speaker 1: that out of the way, but I just think it's

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Speaker 1: so cool to watch somebody be so like immersed in

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Speaker 1: their process and fall in love with themselves and and

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Speaker 1: the growth they've created and want to pay that forward

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Speaker 1: in a career. So I just think it's cool. I

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Speaker 1: love it so much, so we're gonna talk about it.

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Speaker 1: And the truth is, I was not lying when I

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Speaker 1: said that. If if you are confused on what she's

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Speaker 1: talking about. Monday's episode, I did a little like recap

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Speaker 1: of fifteen of the things that I have learned from

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Speaker 1: being a therapist the past however many years have been

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Speaker 1: a therapist, and one of them was it's never too

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Speaker 1: late and you're never too old to start something. And yeah,

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Speaker 1: I wasn't lying about that, because if you want to

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Speaker 1: do something and you're still breathing, you still have time

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Speaker 1: to at least start doing it. And specifically when it

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Speaker 1: comes to careers and starting a new career, I know

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Speaker 1: it's not like it's not as easy as like, oh,

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Speaker 1: if you want something new, just go do it. If

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Speaker 1: you want to change careers, just go do it. I

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Speaker 1: know it's not that easy. And actually I talked about

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Speaker 1: this with Jonathan Fields on an episode around Work Life

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Speaker 1: Blend because he switched careers and he talks about how

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Speaker 1: like some people are just like just take the leap,

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Speaker 1: but there's also other things that go into that um

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Speaker 1: and maybe you don't have the resources or the ability

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Speaker 1: to just like quit your job and start a new one.

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Speaker 1: And so I totally get that too. And I know

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Speaker 1: that when you are older, maybe you have kids or

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Speaker 1: maybe you don't, or maybe you have somebody or something

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Speaker 1: that you have to support, or you know, there's could

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Speaker 1: be a million factors. But it is different going back

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Speaker 1: to school later than going to school when I did,

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Speaker 1: because I went to grad school right after undergrad, I

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Speaker 1: just want boom boom, got some student ounds and continued

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Speaker 1: that journey. But in my cohort, so I had a

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Speaker 1: cohort of my class and there was thirty of us,

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Speaker 1: I think, and then we were split kind of in

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Speaker 1: half where half of them did a school counseling track

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Speaker 1: and half of us did clinical mental health. And there

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Speaker 1: were people like of all ages. The majority were in

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Speaker 1: There are twenties, but there are people that were in

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Speaker 1: their thirties or people in their forties. There are people

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Speaker 1: in their fifties, and they were like single parents. There

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Speaker 1: were people with kids and in a family. There they

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Speaker 1: were people were married with no kids, they're single people,

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Speaker 1: there are people with I mean, there's every single kind

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Speaker 1: of person so I just think it's very cool, and

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Speaker 1: I think that that's one thing that stops us a

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Speaker 1: lot of times. It's like, oh no, I can't go back.

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Speaker 1: It'll just be a bunch of like twenty two year

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Speaker 1: olds and I'm I'm too old and I'm too whatever,

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Speaker 1: and I'll never catch up. And to be honest, I

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Speaker 1: think the people that were older might have had this

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Speaker 1: is a judgment, This is totally a judgment and an

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Speaker 1: assumption I'm making, but they might have had it easier.

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Speaker 1: Time need some footing with clients because me, I looked

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Speaker 1: very young, and I looked very new, and I was

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Speaker 1: I didn't have a lot of life experience at that time.

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Speaker 1: Clients saw those people as like more legit, you know,

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Speaker 1: they didn't assume they were an intern. There's nothing wrong

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Speaker 1: with ben intern. Me off to do it, but you

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Speaker 1: don't know as much as an intern. So I always

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Speaker 1: was like, man, I wish I looked like I was

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Speaker 1: forty five in my internship, but I looked like I

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Speaker 1: was probably seventeen. Um I was anyway, So I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to say that that like going back to school,

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Speaker 1: and I know my experience, there's people of all ages,

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Speaker 1: especially because I do think when it comes to counseling

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Speaker 1: UM and therapy, people tend to go after they've had

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Speaker 1: some life experience UM that has brought them into their

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Speaker 1: own therapeutic process. Now, the other cool thing about going

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Speaker 1: to school for therapy is there's not like the same

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Speaker 1: kind of pre rex that there might be if you

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Speaker 1: go to law school or if you go to med school.

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Speaker 1: They were people with like math degrees, mathematics and science

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Speaker 1: and all different kinds of stuff. You didn't have to

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Speaker 1: have a psychology degree, And like, sure, I think that

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Speaker 1: could help you. I think having some of that experience

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Speaker 1: might help you in the beginning to understand some things.

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Speaker 1: You've already got a basic knowledge of some of the

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Speaker 1: stuff you'll learn, but you learn everything you need to

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Speaker 1: learn in grad school. They teach that to you from

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Speaker 1: from the ground up. And I had a Child and

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Speaker 1: Family Studies degree, and I think I would have been

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Speaker 1: okay not having that. So I think that's a really

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Speaker 1: cool thing that you don't have to like go get

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Speaker 1: another undergrad to go back to grad school. You can

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Speaker 1: just probably just go with what you have. Also, I

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Speaker 1: just have to say this because I just feel like

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Speaker 1: I need to but grad school, Like going to grad

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Speaker 1: school for therapy is not like therapy camp, and um,

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Speaker 1: most programs will actually make you go to therapy. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna learn a lot about yourself. You're gonna have a

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Speaker 1: lot of like personal growth throughout the program. But you

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Speaker 1: don't go to grad school to work on yourself. You

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Speaker 1: go to grad school to like, you know, get the

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Speaker 1: degree and learn things to be a therapist. And you

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Speaker 1: will learn and work on yourself along the way. But

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Speaker 1: if there's some like deep rooted trauma you need healed,

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Speaker 1: you might want to do that first, because school doesn't

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Speaker 1: do that for you. It might actually trigger it. And

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Speaker 1: with that, I know my where I went to school.

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Speaker 1: You also have to get like the like co signing

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Speaker 1: of your your your professors, and your advisors to get

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Speaker 1: the degree that you are attempting to get. So I

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Speaker 1: might pass all the tests and pass on my classes,

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Speaker 1: but they also have to co sign on giving us

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Speaker 1: giving me this degree because they're saying, like, you're fit

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Speaker 1: to be a therapist. So it's not just about how

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Speaker 1: much you know, it's about how like mentally sound and

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Speaker 1: psychologically sound you are, and how fit you are to

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Speaker 1: be a healer and a helper in that area, because

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Speaker 1: we have a really serious job. It's not just fun

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Speaker 1: and it's not something to be taken lightly. Like people's

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Speaker 1: mental health is in our hands every single day, and

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Speaker 1: so if you are not, then I do know. There

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Speaker 1: were some people in my class even that instead of

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Speaker 1: getting a human development counseling degree, they've got a human

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Speaker 1: development degree. And you can't be a therapist with a

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Speaker 1: human development degree. So I will just say that if

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Speaker 1: you do want to go to school, then like I

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Speaker 1: would make sure that you're in a good place to

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Speaker 1: go to school, because you would hate to get through

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Speaker 1: that and then not get the degree you want. And

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Speaker 1: then another thing that I want to pull in is

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Speaker 1: especially because this is like a big deal, like going

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Speaker 1: back to school is a big deal, Like I don't

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Speaker 1: want to take it like lightly, like if you will

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Speaker 1: have to make sacrifices and stuff like that. And so

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Speaker 1: I think something we can ask ourselves as a question

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Speaker 1: that I ask people all the time is what do

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Speaker 1: you want? Okay, I want to go back to school

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Speaker 1: and be a therapist. Okay, is there anything you want more?

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Speaker 1: And if the answer is yes, then the next question

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Speaker 1: is can I have both? Can have both? Of those things,

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Speaker 1: and that might lead you to making a decision around

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Speaker 1: if you go back or not. It's going to take

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Speaker 1: time away from what your life looks like now. And

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Speaker 1: becoming a therapist isn't always fun. I cried a lot,

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Speaker 1: a lot in the beginning, and it is a lot

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Speaker 1: of work and you have to learn a lot of

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Speaker 1: new things and some of them didn't make sense for

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Speaker 1: a really long time and now like ten years later,

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Speaker 1: they're clicking. But it's a lot of work, and it's

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Speaker 1: getting a lot of constructive feedback. It's putting yourself in

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Speaker 1: really vulnerable spots, and you also have to have the

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Speaker 1: abilities to separate you and your feelings from your job

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Speaker 1: at times, and that can feel impossible. And when I

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Speaker 1: say that, you can still show up as very human

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Speaker 1: and separate your own experiences, in your own things going

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Speaker 1: on in your life in that moment from what's in

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Speaker 1: front of you with your clients. You can do that

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Speaker 1: and still show up as human, and you have to

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Speaker 1: be able to do that. So being a therapist has

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Speaker 1: this like extra like I don't know, like thing other

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Speaker 1: than like just going back to school. I don't know

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Speaker 1: why math keeps coming up in my head if you

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Speaker 1: go back to school to become a mathematicition, I don't know,

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Speaker 1: you are pulling in the emotional side of your life

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Speaker 1: into that, and so therapy has a little bit of

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Speaker 1: an extra something in there. And going back to school

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Speaker 1: and doing a lot of this stuff is I mean,

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Speaker 1: the person who wrote this question has done a lot

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Speaker 1: of their own work, so I I think that they

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Speaker 1: might be okay with this, But it's going to challenge

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Speaker 1: a lot of the things that you've believed your whole life.

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Speaker 1: And I do not have the same beliefs I had

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Speaker 1: when I went into school and started as a therapist

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Speaker 1: as I have now, I mean completely have shifted the

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Speaker 1: way I see the world, and in that it shifts

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Speaker 1: your relationships, it shifts how you interact in the world.

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Speaker 1: And it's not just a new career. It's kind of

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Speaker 1: like a new way of living life. Now here's the

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Speaker 1: like more fun part. So the person you asked this

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Speaker 1: question didn't ask for all that they asked for, like

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Speaker 1: recommendations on schools and programs, and I think maybe we

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Speaker 1: talked about that. So there are a couple of main

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Speaker 1: ways you can get licensed and become a therapist. You

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Speaker 1: can be an LPC, which is called a couple of

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Speaker 1: different things depending on what state you're in. I'm an

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Speaker 1: LPC m HSP, which is a licensed professional counselor mental

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Speaker 1: health service provider. You can also be an l m

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Speaker 1: f T, a license marriage and family therapist. You can

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Speaker 1: also be an LCSW, which is a licensed clinical social worker.

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Speaker 1: Now within that, outside of getting those licenses, you can

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Speaker 1: get special certifications and things like UM Somatic Experiencing e

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Speaker 1: m d R, sex addiction, eating disorders, ART therapy, ner

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Speaker 1: of Feedback, but all that comes a little later. So

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Speaker 1: those are just like the main license to practice as

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Speaker 1: a mental health provider. Now, based on the program you

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Speaker 1: pick which would give you a specific license, your education

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Speaker 1: is going to be tailored a little bit differently. So

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Speaker 1: my program was Human Development Counseling, so we've focused a

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Speaker 1: lot on literally human development, and it was more individual based,

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Speaker 1: where a marriage and family therapy program is going to

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Speaker 1: focus more on like systems work and give you more

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Speaker 1: education on relationships and relational dynamics, and the types of

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Speaker 1: therapeutic approaches are going to be focused differently than I

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Speaker 1: might experience because I'm working with just an individual and

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Speaker 1: they're seeing something as the whole family system, and then

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Speaker 1: the social work gives you a whole different I mean

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Speaker 1: they're doing a lot more education around, like macro systems

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Speaker 1: and and all of that. So it's really like what

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Speaker 1: I'm my most interested in and learning. You can essentially

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Speaker 1: do the same thing with all of them to an extent.

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Speaker 1: When it comes to learning about stuff like addiction and

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Speaker 1: eating disorders, more of that is going to come from

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Speaker 1: your experience in field work, so your internship or your

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Speaker 1: first job or two, or getting extra trainings. You may

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Speaker 1: take a class on that, Like I took an addictions class,

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Speaker 1: but I don't know how much I actually learned in there.

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Speaker 1: Um that just as like the tip of the iceberg.

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Speaker 1: And so if you want to have a specialty, you're

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Speaker 1: most likely going to do training in that specialty and

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Speaker 1: get special certifications outside of getting your license and going

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Speaker 1: to grad school. Now, a lot of people think that

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Speaker 1: they need to know exactly what kind of therapists they

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Speaker 1: want to be from the beginning, but it's also okay

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Speaker 1: if you don't know. I went in with an idea

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Speaker 1: of what I wanted to do, and it shifted and

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Speaker 1: changed a little bit, and then I did that thing

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Speaker 1: and now I do that and other things. Um, so

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Speaker 1: you don't have to know. It's okay to be open

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Speaker 1: minded and just be like, I just know I want

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Speaker 1: to help people because your experience of actually doing therapy

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Speaker 1: is going to give you information about like what I like,

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Speaker 1: what I don't like, what I'm interested in, what I

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Speaker 1: want to learn more about, what kind of population do

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Speaker 1: I want to work with. You're going to learn that

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Speaker 1: and you don't have to figure that out in the beginning.

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Speaker 1: To an extent, I want to say you don't ever

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Speaker 1: have to figure that out because you can always change,

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Speaker 1: but that's not completely true. Now, after you figure out

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Speaker 1: what kind of license you want, then you can look

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Speaker 1: at the schools that offer that kind of program. And

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Speaker 1: then my real tip for you is make sure the

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Speaker 1: programs you're looking at are accredited, so there are different

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Speaker 1: accreditations for each program. Ours was called k CRAP and

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Speaker 1: if you were not k CREP accredited. If your program wasn't,

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Speaker 1: you had to do a bunch of extra stuff to

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Speaker 1: get your license, and in some cases you might not

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Speaker 1: be able to get your license because your program didn't

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Speaker 1: give you the types of things that you have to have,

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Speaker 1: like what classes and how many hours of internship and

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Speaker 1: how many hours of classes and all of that. So

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Speaker 1: just make sure your your programs accredited. I cannot speak

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Speaker 1: to different programs that are better or worse than others

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Speaker 1: because I only went to my program. I've heard about

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Speaker 1: other programs. I would highly suggest an in person program.

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Speaker 1: I don't really understand how somebody learns to be a

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Speaker 1: therapist in a virtual classroom the whole time, but you know,

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Speaker 1: times are hard and that's what some people have to do.

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Speaker 1: But if it is possible, I would get some in

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Speaker 1: person education too, although it doesn't mean it would be bad.

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Speaker 1: That would just be my personal preference. I went to

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Speaker 1: Vanderbilt here Um and did their human development counseling program.

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Speaker 1: I had a very good experience. Not everybody had a

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Speaker 1: very good experience. I also think it's valuable to look

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Speaker 1: at financial aid and what programs offer things like assistant ships.

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Speaker 1: I had an assistant ship at my program, so part

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Speaker 1: of it was paid for. And there was a program

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Speaker 1: that I got into that had grants for all their students,

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Speaker 1: and their students have didn't have to pay anything because

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Speaker 1: grad school can be very expensive. So if that's something

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Speaker 1: I would look into that and if there are assistant ships,

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Speaker 1: how you can secure one of those, and how many

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Speaker 1: students can and all that. Now, once you find some

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Speaker 1: schools that you like, I would then suggest reaching out

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Speaker 1: to like Kurt and or past students and maybe seeing

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Speaker 1: if you can meet with one of them professors that

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Speaker 1: work there, just to get some information and just to

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Speaker 1: talk to them and one let them the school now

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Speaker 1: you're interested, that would definitely look good. But also asking

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Speaker 1: the students what their experiences. I also fully believe that

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Speaker 1: one of the most important parts of your graduate experience

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Speaker 1: is your internship. So you're going to learn a lot

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Speaker 1: in the classroom, but you're going to learn how to

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Speaker 1: be a therapist by doing it. So making sure that

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Speaker 1: there are programs and places around in your area wherever

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Speaker 1: you're going to school that you could get a good experience,

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Speaker 1: that's very important. And I know that, like specifically in Nashville,

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of programs, so sometimes it can be

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Speaker 1: hard to get an internship. There's tons of therapy here too,

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Speaker 1: but also it's like there's a lot of people trying

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Speaker 1: to get those internships. So I just would take that

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Speaker 1: into consideration. Now I want to move to the second

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Speaker 1: part the second question because this is from somebody who

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Speaker 1: actually is already in school to be a therapist, so

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Speaker 1: I thought we would answer both of these together. So

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Speaker 1: her question is, Hey, Kat, I've recently realized that I

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Speaker 1: have a deep passion for men's mental health. I'm going

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Speaker 1: to school to be a therapist right now. First, I

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Speaker 1: would love for you to do another episode on the subject,

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Speaker 1: like the one you did with Justin Beldoni. Second, do

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Speaker 1: you think that it's possible for a female to specialize

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Speaker 1: in men's mental health? And finally, besides man enough, do

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Speaker 1: you have any resources for the subject. Okay, so, first off,

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Speaker 1: I would also like to do more of those episodes.

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Speaker 1: I'm fascinated by that. That's something that like, I'm getting

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Speaker 1: into more now. I haven't been as interested in that, um,

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Speaker 1: the whole d redefining or undefining masculine until I came

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Speaker 1: upon that book, and I just think there's so much

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Speaker 1: goodness in that whole movement and idea. So I would

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Speaker 1: love to do more of that dent lookout. Second, to

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Speaker 1: answer your question very simply, yes, this is possible. This

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Speaker 1: is very possible. I actually started my internship I was

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Speaker 1: only working with men, not by choice. I went to

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Speaker 1: a treatment center that had men and women, and I

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Speaker 1: got placed in a men's house, and I actually thought

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Speaker 1: it was going to kill me. At first. I was terrified.

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Speaker 1: Like I said, I cried a lot, but I became

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Speaker 1: passionate about working with men. And I think there's something

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Speaker 1: so special about a man being able to connect with

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Speaker 1: a therapist who's a woman, especially if they've had certain

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Speaker 1: experiences in their life. And I also think there's something

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Speaker 1: to be said about men connecting with women and men

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Speaker 1: connecting with men. It's it's all good, it's all great,

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Speaker 1: and it all can add something based on somebody's experience.

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Speaker 1: So it's absolutely possible for a woman to specialize in

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Speaker 1: working with men and men's mental health and all that

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Speaker 1: comes with that, which will also need to be combined

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Speaker 1: with studies around women's mental health as well as the differences.

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Speaker 1: You're going to need an understanding of all of that.

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Speaker 1: And I think now more than ever, this is a

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Speaker 1: complicated kind of situation because we're gaining more ground and

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Speaker 1: untangling gender roles and stereotypes. And Liz Plank, who is

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Speaker 1: a co host of The Man Enough Podcast with Justin Beldoni,

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Speaker 1: actually is a great resource for this. She isn't a therapist,

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Speaker 1: but she's kind of a genius, I think. And she

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Speaker 1: wrote the book for the Love of Men from Toxic

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Speaker 1: to a More Mindful Masculinity, which I have yet to read,

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Speaker 1: but it's on my list. I'm getting there. But she

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Speaker 1: is a very influential human when it comes to gender

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Speaker 1: roles as it pertains to men specifically. She's done a

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Speaker 1: lot of work and she's very educated in that realm.

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Speaker 1: So I think looking at her and her work and

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Speaker 1: where she might lead you is a good starting point.

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Speaker 1: And just like she's the resource I'm giving you, she's

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Speaker 1: a female. You don't have to be a man to

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Speaker 1: understand and help a man. The same way, I don't

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Speaker 1: believe you have to have had an eating disorder to

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Speaker 1: understand to help humans with eating disorders. You just have

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Speaker 1: to be willing to learn. That's it. If are you

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Speaker 1: willing to be a student first? And yeah, it may

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Speaker 1: help or give a different perspective if you have experienced that,

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Speaker 1: or if you are the same gender, But it's not

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Speaker 1: to make it or break it. Just like you don't

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Speaker 1: have to be in a relationship to be a marriage

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Speaker 1: and family therapist. What you need is the ability to

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Speaker 1: want respond instead of react when somebody says something like,

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Speaker 1: how the heck are you going to help me if

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah blah, because people are going to

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Speaker 1: do that. I've had that plenty of times, especially working

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Speaker 1: with chemical addiction, which I don't struggle with or I

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Speaker 1: haven't had that experience, but I've had a lot of

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Speaker 1: people say like, well, are you an addict? How can

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Speaker 1: you help me if you don't know what it's like?

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Speaker 1: And trust me. Through your work and through your education

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Speaker 1: and throw through your own process, you'll learn how to

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Speaker 1: respond in a way that fits with you. But that's

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Speaker 1: what you need more than to be the same as them.

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Speaker 1: You just need to have the ability to respond and

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Speaker 1: know for yourself, like what makes you valuable and what

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Speaker 1: makes you able to be that resource and to be

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Speaker 1: that helping human. So I hope that answers both those questions.

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Speaker 1: I love talking about becoming a therapist and all of that,

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Speaker 1: so I'm very open to more of that. Whether there's

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Speaker 1: a specific detailed question, um, maybe if there's just a

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Speaker 1: simple question I can answer quickly, I'm willing to do

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Speaker 1: that because I just love when people want to be therapists.

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Speaker 1: I think it's great. It's a great job. It's hard job,

434
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 1: it's a great job, but aren't they all. So thank

435
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 1: you guys for being here. I will be back with

436
00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,800
Speaker 1: you next Monday, and then get ready because next monthday

437
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 1: is our two year birthday. So have the Wednesday you

438
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: need to have and I will talk to you later