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Speaker 1: If it doesn't work, you're just not using enough. You're

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Speaker 1: listening to Software up Radio Special Operations, military news and

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Speaker 1: straight talk with the guys and the community. Hello, good everyone,

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Software up Radio softw UP Radio on

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Speaker 1: time on Target. I'm your host today Steve Vlastralia joining us.

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Speaker 1: We have a very special guest. John Hancock was a

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Speaker 1: member second Italian fourth Marines fought in Iraca during the

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Speaker 1: Battle of Madi. I believe it is two thousand four.

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Speaker 1: John Um his unit suffered probably the highest casualty rate

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Speaker 1: of anyone during the Iraq War. I believe it was

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Speaker 1: one out of every four members of his unit was

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Speaker 1: a casualty, either wounded or killed in action. And with

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Speaker 1: a lot of other people, John suffered from PTSD and

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Speaker 1: he found um some solace and some some closure, A

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Speaker 1: little bit were not closure, but some some help with

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Speaker 1: that by walking across the United States and visiting members

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Speaker 1: of the unit, visiting members of the gold Star families.

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Speaker 1: It is an incredible story and we're gonna welcome him

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Speaker 1: to the podcast and UH we'll talk to him about that. John,

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Speaker 1: thank you for taking the time with us this morning.

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Speaker 1: And this is uh a big pleasure for us. Thanks see,

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Speaker 1: thanks so much for me. Brother. Really it's I read

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Speaker 1: and subscribe and watch all the softwap stuff. So, uh,

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Speaker 1: it's it's really kind of humbling to be here, to

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Speaker 1: be on it. Well, we're humbled because when after I

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Speaker 1: read your story and I remember seeing something on CNN

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Speaker 1: about it, and um, it's it's amazing because you covered

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Speaker 1: about nine thousand kilometers, which turns out which I did.

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Speaker 1: I can't do the math, so I had to ask

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Speaker 1: you offline about it. Five thousand, eight hundred and seven miles. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was. It was a really long one. So it

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Speaker 1: ended up starting September eleven at one fifteen in the morning.

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Speaker 1: I ended December twelve. Uh, so that that roughly rounds

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Speaker 1: out to about one year three months. In a day

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Speaker 1: of walking, what was that, averaging about miles a day? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I did about you know, on the low end, I

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Speaker 1: do about twenty eight. On the high end, I do

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Speaker 1: about thirty two. One day, I did forty five miles

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Speaker 1: and I'll never do that ever again. I used to

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Speaker 1: think I was a rucking fool when I was in SF. Uh.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you John the nope. Uh, I get

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Speaker 1: my hats off to you, bro, because that is that's

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Speaker 1: a lot of rocking there, and I'm assuming you know

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Speaker 1: everything's carrying on your back. So what a way about pounds? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, if you're in the high desert and there's

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Speaker 1: you know, water is a little bit more scarce, I'd

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Speaker 1: hum in right around eight two pounds because I got

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Speaker 1: to carry more water. And then you know, in some

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Speaker 1: of the more populated areas, I could I could dial

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Speaker 1: that down to about sixty nine seventy one pounds. Oh

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Speaker 1: that's a heavy ruck to be carrying almost six thousand. Well,

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Speaker 1: but you know, here's a little tidbit for you too.

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Speaker 1: So if you end up walking five thousand, eight hundred

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Speaker 1: seven miles over the course of one year, three months

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Speaker 1: in a day with seventy pounds on your back. I

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Speaker 1: started this walk at six foot I am now coming

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Speaker 1: in at five ft ten inches. Wow. Well that's why

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Speaker 1: most vets, like ourselves have bad backs and bad knees

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Speaker 1: when when when they get out and uh, but you

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Speaker 1: continued that. So but we'll get into all that. We'll

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Speaker 1: get into all that. Just fill in our listeners and

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Speaker 1: our readers on software a little bit, a bit about

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Speaker 1: your background. Where'd you grow up and how did you

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Speaker 1: end up in the Marine Corps. Yeah? So I was

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Speaker 1: a Navy brat, right, and I was born in Hawaii

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Speaker 1: and Honolulu moved all over the world. My dad was

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Speaker 1: a submarine commander, right, so twenty five years in the

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Speaker 1: Submarine Force and uh so, I, you know, living on

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Speaker 1: bases all over the place and understanding I wanted to

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Speaker 1: be in the military from a very young age. I

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Speaker 1: think I saw a marine in a commissary one day,

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Speaker 1: just larger than life. I mean, this dude was the

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Speaker 1: mountain of a man. And I turned around and I

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Speaker 1: looked at him, and I look at Dad and I'm like, hey,

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Speaker 1: who is that? And he goes, that's a uh that's

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Speaker 1: a force reconnaissance marine. They're the most badass things on

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Speaker 1: the planet. And I was like, well, that's what I

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Speaker 1: want to be then, and then from that that day forward,

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Speaker 1: I just always wanted to be a marine. And so,

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Speaker 1: you know, going into high school, all of a sudden,

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Speaker 1: the marine recruiters are in the cafeteria in high school.

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Speaker 1: I walk up to him. I think I'm in ninth grade.

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Speaker 1: First day at ninth grade, and I'm like, all right,

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Speaker 1: so I want to join today and they're like, all right,

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Speaker 1: slow down there, spark Plug, Like, why don't you graduate

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Speaker 1: high school first? And then we'll talk. That's awesome. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's funny growing up. One of my next

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Speaker 1: door neighbors and my best friends growing up, they're they're

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Speaker 1: dead was the youngest sergeant in the Marine Corps in

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Speaker 1: Okinawa during the World War Two. Um he lied about

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Speaker 1: his age, so uh he actually went in when he

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Speaker 1: was fifteen years old, and by the time he got

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Speaker 1: to Okinawa, he was only seventeen and he was a sergeant.

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Speaker 1: And uh. We used to go over there and he'd

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Speaker 1: regale us with stories about the corps and that was

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Speaker 1: Those were some fun memories for me. I'm sure, brother,

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Speaker 1: I'm sure. I mean, it doesn't get any harder than that.

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Speaker 1: But can you imagine going through a boot campus Marina

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Speaker 1: fifteen years old? I mean, and I couldn't get out

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Speaker 1: of bed by myself at fifteen, I know. And you know,

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Speaker 1: during wartime, I'm sure the the well, the Marines are

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Speaker 1: never nice to their recruits anyway, but I'm sure during

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Speaker 1: World War Two it was probably tougher even now than

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Speaker 1: it is today. I can only imagine so what year

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Speaker 1: did you end up joining the corps? So I well,

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Speaker 1: in two thousand one. So I graduated from high school

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Speaker 1: I think in May. Uh, and then I mean I

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Speaker 1: I walked right off the dais and then you know,

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Speaker 1: basically onto the onto the airplane. I ended up graduating

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Speaker 1: boot camps September seven to two thousand one. And you know,

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Speaker 1: four days later, the whole world changes. So and you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm on boot camp leave. At that point, the whole

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Speaker 1: world is is just on fire. And you know there's

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Speaker 1: little pickers on all the on the bottom of the

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Speaker 1: news save your Active duty Military called this number. So

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Speaker 1: I called that number and I said, you know, oh

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Speaker 1: PSC Handcock reporting for duty, like I'm gonna do anything,

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Speaker 1: and uh, you know, the the guy on the other

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Speaker 1: end goes right on, yeah, so what unit are you in?

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Speaker 1: And I said, I'm going to School of Infantry and

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Speaker 1: he hung up on me. That's what you know, what

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Speaker 1: happens when you do what you told? Right, So you know, um,

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Speaker 1: you finished your your your School of Infantry training and

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Speaker 1: then where we assigned that after that, I went directly

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Speaker 1: to second time fourth Marines, right, so you know I'm

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Speaker 1: on the East Post I'm at Camp Geiger right there

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Speaker 1: next to the June. And then I kept orders cut

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Speaker 1: to second time fourth Marines over in Pendleton. And originally

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Speaker 1: I think we had gotten some orders cut for Hawaii,

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Speaker 1: but and so everyone was super excited. Uh and then

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Speaker 1: those got uh those got recalled. And then next thing,

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Speaker 1: you know, I've got a second set of orders that

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Speaker 1: come in, says uh to four and I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: it is a victor unit. And then I'm like, oh, God, okay,

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Speaker 1: here we go. We're going to the big boy unit. Uh.

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Speaker 1: You know, Fifth Marines is you know, the most combat

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Speaker 1: decorated regiment in the history of warfare. Uh. And so

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Speaker 1: we're going to that unit. And I'm like, wow, okay,

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Speaker 1: and uh it you know, it just went from there.

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Speaker 1: We we ended up deploying the first time to Okinawa.

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Speaker 1: Uh and we got stop lost stop moved right. So

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Speaker 1: everything halts because you know, we've got O I F one.

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Speaker 1: So the invasion into Baghdad and then all assets around

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Speaker 1: the globe are positioned and then and then kind of

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Speaker 1: the whole of the freezing place. If you're not part

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Speaker 1: of this push to Baghdad, you're gonna stay where you are.

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Speaker 1: So We actually had to watch the invasion um from

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Speaker 1: a boat right off the coast of Korea at the time,

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Speaker 1: and you know, the first cruise missiles go off the

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Speaker 1: ship in March nineteenth and then you know, the invasion

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Speaker 1: starts on and we're just watching this. And so we

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Speaker 1: got this moniker back then, that kind of float floated

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Speaker 1: around fifth Marine Regiment and it was two full or

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Speaker 1: no war because you know, now you've got you we're

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Speaker 1: all coming back around the same time. Uh. You know,

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Speaker 1: everybody's coming back from Baghdad. We're coming back from Okinawa.

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Speaker 1: We ended up getting stuck there for almost a year. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And now you've got these lance corporals with all this

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Speaker 1: chest candy and they're they're war heroes, and you're like,

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Speaker 1: good god. So of course, you know, we're all walking

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Speaker 1: around with national defenses and hell, you can see exactly

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Speaker 1: who a two four guy is, you know. Uh. And

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Speaker 1: so that really stuck with us, and so we you know,

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Speaker 1: we really wanted to get into the fight. And because

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Speaker 1: as a marine, you want to be in the fight,

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Speaker 1: especially in infantry marine your trained for it. You want

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Speaker 1: to go and do your job. And we we got

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Speaker 1: everything we asked for, so we ended up going into

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Speaker 1: Romati two thousand four in February. We took our first

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Speaker 1: cash DA in March, and then April six, the entire

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Speaker 1: city started just coming down around us. And you've got

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Speaker 1: to think we're we're one battalion because Fellus is going

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Speaker 1: on at the same point, and so we're one battalion

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Speaker 1: basically in an economy of force operation, just trying to

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Speaker 1: hold onto this city. And we also have and I

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Speaker 1: think they actually did this correctly for us, but we

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Speaker 1: also have a media blackout. Right, so nobody's talking about Ramadi.

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Speaker 1: Nobody's talking about what's happening there, nobody's talking about the

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Speaker 1: constant gunfighting day in and day out. Because if the

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Speaker 1: if the world were to start realizing that there was

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Speaker 1: only one battalion of Marines and we're looking at about

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Speaker 1: nine true war fighters here, uh, and we're already fighting

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Speaker 1: an enemy somewhere in the tune of five thousand people. Uh.

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Speaker 1: If they started getting win that they were really actually

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Speaker 1: hurting us, know, they would have just flooded Ramadi and

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Speaker 1: we would have been eviscerated. So I'm glad that that

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Speaker 1: media blackout happened. The problem that we run into now

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Speaker 1: is that only now is the Battle of Ramadi in

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Speaker 1: two thousand four starting to really come to light for

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Speaker 1: everyone outside of the Marine Corps. Yeah. You know, it's

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Speaker 1: funny you mentioned that, because it wasn't until much later

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Speaker 1: I started reading about Ramadi and I was thinking back then,

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Speaker 1: you know, when that was going on, I never heard

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Speaker 1: a word about that. Back back here. You know, we

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Speaker 1: were hearing about Fallujah obviously, I mean, that was you know,

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Speaker 1: the quote unquote big story, but very little was said

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Speaker 1: about Ramadi. And it wasn't until long after the fact

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Speaker 1: that we were hearing about that. And that's interesting that

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Speaker 1: you said that. You know, with the media blackout going on,

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Speaker 1: was even Oliver North came out and uh he did

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Speaker 1: a war stories on us, and um we he kind

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Speaker 1: of came to some of these people and I overheard

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Speaker 1: him speaking about it later on. He goes, okay, so

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Speaker 1: we've wrapped all the footage. Hey, we're not even gonna

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Speaker 1: publish this until you guys return home. Uh. And that

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Speaker 1: that's when I knew how bad Ramadi was. Was when uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, patriotic reporters like like all of the North

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Speaker 1: are saying, hey, we're not even gonna say anything about

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Speaker 1: this because we don't want to We don't want to

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Speaker 1: do anything to compromise you guys, because you're already in

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Speaker 1: a very tough situation. So what was the vibe like

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Speaker 1: for you guys on the ground there. I mean, I know,

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Speaker 1: when you're in the moment there, you're you're just thinking

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Speaker 1: about the mission, You're thinking about that day. But did

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Speaker 1: it strike you guys that you know, this is a

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Speaker 1: lot bigger than we had envisioned when we went in. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: When we first got there, you know, we were doing

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Speaker 1: this whole SASSO operation, which is stability and support operations. Right,

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Speaker 1: So you're walking around and you're talking to the populace,

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Speaker 1: Hey do you have any water? Okay, what's your electricity? Like, Oh,

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Speaker 1: let's see if we can help you with that. And

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Speaker 1: that that happened for about the first month. Uh, And

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Speaker 1: really what we were learning was, uh, the army that

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Speaker 1: we had taken we had taken over for we had

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Speaker 1: gone out on some patrol with them, uh in their

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Speaker 1: Bradley's And so I looked at the Bradley commander and

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Speaker 1: I was like, hey, why don't you stop right here.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna get out and me and my boys are

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Speaker 1: gonna go do a foot patrol and you guys can

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Speaker 1: pick us up three hours from now over here somewhere.

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Speaker 1: And the guy turned around and goes, you're gonna do

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Speaker 1: what And I was like, yeah, it's foot patrol. We're

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Speaker 1: gonna go out and pooatrol through the city at night.

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Speaker 1: He goes, I wouldn't recommend that. And that's when I

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Speaker 1: started realizing that, uh, not only not only were we

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Speaker 1: in for a world of something we had no idea

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Speaker 1: we were getting ready to be in, but that the

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Speaker 1: enemy was truly assessing us and and just kind of

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Speaker 1: observing us and observing that we're definitely different in the army.

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Speaker 1: At this point, we're you know, deep seating into the populace.

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Speaker 1: We're deep seating into the local communities, and we're walking

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Speaker 1: around and we're talking to people. Uh. And so I

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Speaker 1: think that kind of threw them off and they had

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Speaker 1: to watch us for a little while before they decided

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Speaker 1: to make their first move. Uh. And their first move

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Speaker 1: came April six to April ten, and it was it

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Speaker 1: was a slugfest, man, right, And Uh, I saw you

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Speaker 1: know in uh in the documentary and we're gonna get

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Speaker 1: into the documentary as well called Bastard's Road. Um, that

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Speaker 1: was made about your story. You have tattoos of all

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Speaker 1: your fallen uh you know, marine members on your arms,

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Speaker 1: so you guys started suffering some really really heavy casualties

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Speaker 1: at that point. Yeah. And actually that so that that

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Speaker 1: little clip you see of the marine with all the tattoos,

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Speaker 1: that's actually Macintosh. No, no, no, I mean I've got

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Speaker 1: a bunch of tattoos and I've got honorific tattoos all

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Speaker 1: over my body as well. But he's got the list. Uh.

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Speaker 1: And the crazy thing is that list on his arm

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Speaker 1: is only Echo Company. Wow, Yes, that's just one company.

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Speaker 1: And when you start unpacking that, we're at a cash

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Speaker 1: to rate. And it was it was. It was bad, brother,

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Speaker 1: it was bad. And nobody, nobody that went to Ramadi

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Speaker 1: came home unchanged, right because I you know, um obviously uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, I've seen some of the interviews with you.

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Speaker 1: You suffered from PTSD apon returning, but I would imagine

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Speaker 1: your battalion probably had an extremely high rate in that.

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Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, uh, and we see it till this day.

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Speaker 1: You know, I talked to I since and before this

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Speaker 1: movie ever came out. And you know, during this walk,

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Speaker 1: and even before, right before the Walk, I started really

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Speaker 1: starting to reach out to guys again and to uh

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Speaker 1: to be around them and just to have conversations with them,

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Speaker 1: because I knew it was something that I had lost.

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Speaker 1: And as I'm going through this and even to this

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Speaker 1: day speaking with some of these guys, there are a

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Speaker 1: lot of guys out there that are still hurting. And

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Speaker 1: you know this, I think this film has done a

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Speaker 1: few things for them. One, it's it's given them legitimacy

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Speaker 1: in our story, uh and really try to help propel

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Speaker 1: the narrative around you know what Ramadi was for a

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Speaker 1: lot of guys. But too it's also giving them the

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Speaker 1: unconscious acknowledgement permission, if you will, to start to open

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Speaker 1: up to their family members, who you know, have now

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Speaker 1: seen this film as well, and now they have grounds

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Speaker 1: to understand just a little bit of what went on

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Speaker 1: over there. You know, It's funny because you know, I

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Speaker 1: look back on my own experiences and then today I mean,

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Speaker 1: what's going on? And I'm not bad mouth and the

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Speaker 1: v A, I'm not. Uh. The v A is like

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Speaker 1: light years better than they were when I got out,

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Speaker 1: but they still have a long way to go. They

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Speaker 1: still have a long way to go, and we're learning

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Speaker 1: what we can and above PTSD, I think, as you know,

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Speaker 1: day by day. But it's amazing this. I think this

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Speaker 1: generation has done more, you know, for each other. I

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Speaker 1: think veterans in UH, this generation are realizing, hey, you

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Speaker 1: know what, we have to rely on each other because

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Speaker 1: that's what we did in the in the military, and

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Speaker 1: that's what we're gonna have to do when we all

300
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Speaker 1: leave service. Would you agree with you? You're not wrong, brother,

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Speaker 1: And I see that so much. I think we see

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Speaker 1: it on two fronts now, right because this is also

303
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Speaker 1: probably our generation of warfighters right now is probably the

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Speaker 1: most technologically advanced but able to get their stories out

305
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:47,320
Speaker 1: as quickly as possible. So you're seeing so much content, right,

306
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Speaker 1: So many different people are deciding to write their books

307
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Speaker 1: and tell their stories about what they went through UH.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's really amazing to do, especially from

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Speaker 1: a historical standpoint. To just have this amount of uh,

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Speaker 1: you know, this wealth of experience and knowledge that is

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Speaker 1: absolutely uh recorded and and pushed out to the masses.

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Speaker 1: I think it's amazing and you're right, and I can

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Speaker 1: spend all day disparaging in the VA, but I can

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Speaker 1: talk to Blue in the face, it won't change anything.

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Speaker 1: And so we do see that we have to help

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Speaker 1: each other. And the beauty of that is the the

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Speaker 1: exponential rise of the veteran nonprofit machine, if you will, right.

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Speaker 1: And so all these veterans are getting out and understanding

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Speaker 1: that the VA is not doing what it's supposed to

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Speaker 1: be doing. It can't accommodate. You know, let's call it

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Speaker 1: the three million veterans or whatever it is. If we

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Speaker 1: are surely the one percent. So then we decided that

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Speaker 1: we'll do it on our own. And you know, I've

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Speaker 1: also taken up that that that mantle as well, and

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Speaker 1: I started a nonprofit called Bastard's Road Project, and I

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Speaker 1: take veterans on long distance types to show them what

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Speaker 1: I went through, but also to show them that they're

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Speaker 1: very capable of doing something very strenuous, both mentally and physically,

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Speaker 1: and then to see gorgeous parts of this country that

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Speaker 1: they fought for. And you know, our tagline is walk

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Speaker 1: long distances, figure some ship out and that's all we do. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: when you got home, what year did you did you

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Speaker 1: get out of the Marine Corps? I got up. My

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Speaker 1: last day was September twenty one to two thousand nine,

335
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Speaker 1: and I rolled right into the University of Maryland and

336
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Speaker 1: so I was I was double major, and I was

337
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Speaker 1: actually two weeks late for class when I got out

338
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Speaker 1: of the Marine Corps, so and that my professors knew

339
00:19:30,760 --> 00:19:32,560
Speaker 1: it already, and so we were fine, uh. And I

340
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,320
Speaker 1: rolled right into a double major of Arabic and Russian

341
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Speaker 1: because I had already learned Arabic in the Marine Corps.

342
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Speaker 1: And then I started to dabble with Russian, and so

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, screw it, I can just phone

344
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Speaker 1: this in and I'll get a degree real quick and

345
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Speaker 1: move on and move about my way. And you know,

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Speaker 1: I was doing really well for about a year and

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Speaker 1: a half and then something just happened and I started

348
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Speaker 1: going to the bars more and stopped going to class,

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Speaker 1: and I really felt that I was kind of like,

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Speaker 1: looking back on it, I really felt that I was

351
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Speaker 1: a fish out of water and all of these kids,

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Speaker 1: and it was right around the time that all these

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Speaker 1: kids were protesting about being in Afghanistan, uh, and there

354
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,800
Speaker 1: was just there was constant protests on campus, and I

355
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Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to be a part of

356
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Speaker 1: any of this. So I would just avoid it all together.

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Speaker 1: And that's and it found me at the bars. And

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Speaker 1: then here we go. Now I'm drinking at a bar.

359
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Speaker 1: I'm not going to class, and you know there's the

360
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,640
Speaker 1: first d U I and then ship almost a year

361
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Speaker 1: to the day of the first one is the second one,

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Speaker 1: and then followed in short order after the cop dropped

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Speaker 1: me off back home, which I still don't understand this

364
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Speaker 1: day why I wasn't arrested for the second one. I

365
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:40,239
Speaker 1: think he took pity on me, understand, I think he did.

366
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Speaker 1: And uh, he dropped me off at home and said, hey, man,

367
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Speaker 1: don't worry about it. Go get your car in the morning.

368
00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:47,800
Speaker 1: You know, we didn't impound it. It's in a parking stall.

369
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Speaker 1: You're fine. And uh, that's when I decided I would

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Speaker 1: go in and uh end it all. And you know,

371
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:56,639
Speaker 1: you're looking in the mirror and you you hate yourself,

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Speaker 1: you hate what you become. I blamed the Marine Corps. Uh,

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Speaker 1: And then you know, at the same time, I've disgraced

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Speaker 1: the Marine Corps, disgraced my family name. I'm not a

375
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Speaker 1: good dad, and you know I'm not a good friend.

376
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Speaker 1: And I don't need to do this anymore. And so

377
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Speaker 1: I started emptying pills into my stomach, right, and that

378
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,359
Speaker 1: was the moment. And after all these pills started getting

379
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Speaker 1: into my stomach, it started cramping right and like it

380
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,400
Speaker 1: was there doing what what you wanted it to do, John,

381
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 1: and I realized I didn't want that, and I was like,

382
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Speaker 1: oh no, I've made a made an even bigger, bigger mistake.

383
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Speaker 1: So I got in the car, uh, and I drove

384
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Speaker 1: from College Park, Maryland to Baltimore, Maryland, to the VA

385
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,760
Speaker 1: Hospital in Baltimore. And that's probably about a forty five

386
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Speaker 1: minute drive. And I drove that in seventeen minutes. And

387
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Speaker 1: I was cooking. So I broke every rule. If there

388
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Speaker 1: was a law on the road, I broke it. Um.

389
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Speaker 1: But I got there, and you know, here comes the

390
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 1: stomach pumping, uh and and all that, and so that

391
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 1: happens and then I wind up in the on the

392
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Speaker 1: sixth floor in the psyche warden. So I'm there for

393
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,600
Speaker 1: four or five days and I'm you know, I'm broken,

394
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,639
Speaker 1: and I'm just sitting there like doing puzzles and coloring.

395
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:13,960
Speaker 1: And I see on the news there's this dude named

396
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Speaker 1: Mike Vady who is an army captain and he had

397
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:20,200
Speaker 1: walked one kilometer for each person that was killed in

398
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 1: the Rock or Afghanistan since THEO one kickoff. And I

399
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:26,439
Speaker 1: just something, it just it started speaking to me, and

400
00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,720
Speaker 1: I was like, I have to I have to do that.

401
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 1: And so I got out of the hospital a few

402
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 1: days later and I was just charged right, and I

403
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,480
Speaker 1: was like, I have this mission, but how do I

404
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:40,879
Speaker 1: complete it? Because I'm three and eight pounds. I'm an

405
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:45,119
Speaker 1: absolutely disgusting food blister right now, and you know what

406
00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:46,720
Speaker 1: do I do? So I got on a mountain bike

407
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 1: and I rode a mountain bike for ten months and

408
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:52,360
Speaker 1: went from three o eight to about and then said, okay,

409
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 1: now you can do this. And so I told all

410
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Speaker 1: my boys what I was doing. And there was no

411
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Speaker 1: plan to the walk, to the route to and I

412
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: just started walking. And September eleven, at once five seen

413
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:08,760
Speaker 1: in the morning, here we go. Wow. So that this

414
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:16,200
Speaker 1: uh entire project of yours really kicked off. Uh just

415
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 1: by watching a television clip and it gave you your purpose. Yeah.

416
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,920
Speaker 1: And the guy's name was Mike's Bed and so he

417
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:28,320
Speaker 1: had he he had been he had, you know, graduate

418
00:23:28,359 --> 00:23:31,000
Speaker 1: of the military Academy at West Point and UH, he

419
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:35,120
Speaker 1: had been in some pretty austere positions as well, and

420
00:23:35,359 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 1: he was showing up at the Army Navy game, which

421
00:23:37,920 --> 00:23:41,160
Speaker 1: was you know, because this is now November. The Army

422
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,159
Speaker 1: Navy Game is always in December. It's usually either at

423
00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 1: M ANDT Bank in Baltimore or it's in Philly, and

424
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,439
Speaker 1: that that year it was in Baltimore. And so he

425
00:23:50,560 --> 00:23:53,679
Speaker 1: was ending at the Army Navy game at halftime, and

426
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Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't see the I didn't see the

427
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:02,400
Speaker 1: luster in that piece, but I did see the merit

428
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 1: in doing what he was doing, and it just spoke

429
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:09,040
Speaker 1: to me. So you decided, okay, you were gonna visit

430
00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: all your former marine buzz. How did the plan comes

431
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 1: to be here? Well, I just you know, I just

432
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 1: got on the road and started walking, and I was

433
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:23,199
Speaker 1: supposed to head south first, but I ended up I

434
00:24:23,320 --> 00:24:25,959
Speaker 1: ended up accidentally heading north because I had two buddies

435
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 1: that lived up by the Pennsylvania border. So I met

436
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:31,159
Speaker 1: with one on the first day that I walked, And

437
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,400
Speaker 1: the first day was only about twenty miles I think,

438
00:24:33,680 --> 00:24:36,800
Speaker 1: and I got to him, uh, and then I stayed

439
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,159
Speaker 1: with him for two days I think, maybe three, and

440
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 1: then I walked even further north to another buddy who

441
00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: was almost down near on the Pennsylvania border. And then

442
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 1: then I turned around and started walking south. And so

443
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: the route is pretty circuitous. And when you when I

444
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,520
Speaker 1: kind of tell it to you're gonna be like, wow,

445
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:58,800
Speaker 1: that's really insane. So it starts in Maryland, goes down

446
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 1: to all the way down in Miami, and then I

447
00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 1: traced the Gulf into Texas, mess around all through Texas,

448
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 1: down all the way down to San Antonio and Corpus

449
00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: Christie and then up to Lubbock and a bunch of

450
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:18,359
Speaker 1: places in between, Houston, Austin, UH, Dallas, and then UH

451
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 1: in the Colorado back east to Nebraska, up to South Dakota,

452
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:28,360
Speaker 1: then to Wyoming and then Montana, Idaho, Washington, and then

453
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:36,600
Speaker 1: down the western seaboard. Wow, that's yeah, it's not a

454
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 1: straight line. No, No, it definitely wasn't a straight line.

455
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:44,280
Speaker 1: Now I have to ask, I mean, there's some pretty

456
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 1: desolate areas you're crossing there. Um, did you have any

457
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:54,400
Speaker 1: uh interactions with some wildlife out there? Oh? Brother? Absolutely?

458
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:59,320
Speaker 1: The only the only animal I did not experience that

459
00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:02,880
Speaker 1: the United States has to offer is the grizzly bear.

460
00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:07,720
Speaker 1: And I am okay with that, but yeah, I mean

461
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: crossing over the Big Horn Mountains in uh in Wyoming,

462
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:16,159
Speaker 1: you know, I encountered a white wolf about from me,

463
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:19,440
Speaker 1: just absolutely stunning. And then you know, I was in,

464
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:22,719
Speaker 1: I was in. I was west of high Point, North Carolina,

465
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,439
Speaker 1: out into the woods, heading into Tennessee for a for

466
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: a minute and then back down and uh, man, I

467
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:34,080
Speaker 1: had a dream that an elephant was stepping on my head,

468
00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:37,040
Speaker 1: right and I come out of this dream, I wake

469
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 1: up and there's still pressure on my head, but now

470
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 1: it's breathing, and I'm realizing that there is a black

471
00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 1: bear sniffing my head through my sleeping bag. And so

472
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: that that was that was pretty awesome. Um you know, I,

473
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,919
Speaker 1: oh god, I got stocked by a mountain lion and

474
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 1: blodgett Oregon for almost three days. Uh he was a

475
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 1: big tom man. I mean he must have been three

476
00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:05,680
Speaker 1: hundred pounds. He was absolutely huge. And uh yeah, he

477
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 1: he just kinda he walked with me for quite a

478
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 1: few days and you know, never getting any further in

479
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: about away from me. But the closest he ever got

480
00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:18,920
Speaker 1: was about ten ms and uh and that that's a

481
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: little too close for comfort, especially a big cat like that. Yeah.

482
00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,919
Speaker 1: And I mean he's just looking at me like, all right,

483
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,119
Speaker 1: how do I figure this dude out? Because that looks

484
00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 1: like lunch the ruck sack might have thrown him off,

485
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,120
Speaker 1: you know, like that's I think that's the only thing

486
00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:37,600
Speaker 1: that really kind of helped me is I don't look

487
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,919
Speaker 1: like a standard human walking through the woods. Uh. And

488
00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,680
Speaker 1: I don't look like an easy target. And maybe even

489
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: to him, to a predator, I might look like I

490
00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 1: have armor. Uh. And so that's you know, I think

491
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: that probably went in my favor. So you know, as

492
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:55,800
Speaker 1: you as you're doing this, how did the film project

493
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:59,959
Speaker 1: come to be? So I never started out with any idea,

494
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 1: any inclination, any desire really to you know, document this

495
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 1: in any sort of documentary platform. Uh. Brian Morrison, the

496
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,720
Speaker 1: guy who put the film together, right to your filmmaker,

497
00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: your editor, your composer, all of this. Uh. He and

498
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:15,840
Speaker 1: I actually went to high school together. Now I didn't

499
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,320
Speaker 1: know him, and let's be really real about this. He

500
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 1: was a year ahead of me. Uh. He was a jock.

501
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 1: I was a pothead. So they don't mesh and uh,

502
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,399
Speaker 1: I thought you were gonna say the other have the

503
00:28:27,600 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: opposite effective, right, But so he had he had contacted

504
00:28:33,800 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 1: me through a mutual friend when I was down in

505
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 1: slide Lle, Louisiana, and he just kind of called me

506
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:42,240
Speaker 1: and talked to me for about three hours, I think,

507
00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: and you know, he kind of proposed this idea of,

508
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know exactly what what to do

509
00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: with all this, but I'd really love to document it,

510
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: and I'd really love to record it and record your story.

511
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,240
Speaker 1: And I was super reticent about that man, and you know,

512
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: I slept on it, and you know, I really thought

513
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 1: about it, and and you know, thought about what I

514
00:28:59,680 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: was really doing, and if I'm gonna actually try to

515
00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 1: help people, then why wouldn't you want to try to

516
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: document this and put this into some sort of you know,

517
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 1: documentary format. And so I thought about it for a

518
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 1: little while, and then I had to pause the walk

519
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,080
Speaker 1: in the Lubbock, Texas so I could fly back to

520
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: Maryland and do a V A appointment that I could

521
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 1: not miss because we all know you missed a VA appointment,

522
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:21,320
Speaker 1: they'll stack you to the bottom of the deck and

523
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 1: I'll call you nine years later. So I decided I

524
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,560
Speaker 1: was like, okay, let's not do that, so I paused

525
00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,760
Speaker 1: the walk went home. He lived about a mile and

526
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 1: a half from my folks house. So after this VA

527
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,040
Speaker 1: appointment in Baltimore one day, I just came back called

528
00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 1: him and said, hey, man, do you want to get

529
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 1: together and let's see about this interview. So we sat down,

530
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:42,239
Speaker 1: I sat down on camera for about two hours and

531
00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: we kind of felt each other out and we just

532
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 1: told stories and just trying to trying to figure it

533
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:49,960
Speaker 1: all out. And next thing you know, it was like, Okay,

534
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 1: this can work, and I'm really I'm I can do this.

535
00:29:53,840 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 1: And so now comes the difficult part because you know,

536
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 1: all the boys know that I'm walking, all the gold

537
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,719
Speaker 1: Start families know that I'm walking. But now, all of

538
00:30:02,720 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 1: a sudden, after Lubbock, Texas, right, I took this little hiatus.

539
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:07,840
Speaker 1: All of a sudden, now I got this camera guy

540
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,480
Speaker 1: attached to me, and so that that was a little

541
00:30:10,480 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 1: odd at first. And we talked to uh he the

542
00:30:14,560 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 1: first time he came out to film me. Uh he

543
00:30:16,720 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 1: would fly out about eight I think eight more times

544
00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 1: over the over the duration of the rest of my

545
00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,400
Speaker 1: walk and in different places. Uh and he would he

546
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 1: would come in and meet with these guys and meet

547
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,520
Speaker 1: with these families and you know, interview him. And so

548
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:31,520
Speaker 1: the first one that we did was Levi Gibbs out

549
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: at North Platte south to uh Nebraska, and I was,

550
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 1: you know, I was pretty petrified because Levi's Levi's a

551
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: pretty towering individual. Um. And so I was like, oh, man,

552
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: I gotta call my brother and tell him, you know, hey,

553
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,520
Speaker 1: what do you think? And so I called him about

554
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,800
Speaker 1: two weeks prior to me gett into his house and

555
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 1: I was walking through Colorado at the time, and I

556
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:52,920
Speaker 1: asked him and I said, hey, man, what do you

557
00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 1: think about this? Then he goes to what I only

558
00:30:55,360 --> 00:30:57,280
Speaker 1: got one question for you? I mean, is is Brian

559
00:30:57,360 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 1: on the level? And I was like, yeah, I trust him?

560
00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: And he goes, all right, if you trust him, then

561
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,479
Speaker 1: let's try it. And you know that that's really how

562
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 1: it all kind of came to be. It was just

563
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: the amount of trust that we've had in each other

564
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 1: that we wouldn't we wouldn't try to hurt or do

565
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: anything bad to each other, and that sure, there's this

566
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,520
Speaker 1: camera and there's this thing, so let's let's try it.

567
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 1: And if it you know, we've always said Brian and

568
00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:20,719
Speaker 1: I've always said, well, hell it, the movie sucks. At

569
00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: least you know, we've got something for two four to

570
00:31:22,920 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 1: watch and kind of understand, you know, what went on

571
00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:28,880
Speaker 1: a little bit. Uh and you know, fortunately for us,

572
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,600
Speaker 1: but the movie doesn't suck, and you know it's helping

573
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:35,600
Speaker 1: people now. Now. When he had a film crew out there,

574
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 1: uh really, Oh no, he know, he worked. He worked

575
00:31:41,440 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 1: by himself, so he every bloom operator or a sound

576
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 1: guy or anything. He would pack. It was amazing to

577
00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 1: see the amount of camera gear he would pack into

578
00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:52,959
Speaker 1: a rental car and then come track my ass down. Uh,

579
00:31:53,000 --> 00:31:55,200
Speaker 1: you know, and so I'm looking at all this, like,

580
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: good lord, you flew with all this, Like what was

581
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: your what was your excessive baggage for? Like, is that's

582
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,640
Speaker 1: gotta be a thousand dollars um. So but yeah, he

583
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:06,880
Speaker 1: would just and he would he would come out and

584
00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: just work like a madman for you know, four or

585
00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 1: five days, and we would it would be NonStop. I mean,

586
00:32:13,040 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 1: he'd he'd get me in the car and be like,

587
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,160
Speaker 1: all right, where's the most beautiful place you walked in

588
00:32:17,160 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 1: the past month? And I'm like, oh, over there, and

589
00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:22,160
Speaker 1: he's like, well, we gotta go over there. And you

590
00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,160
Speaker 1: gotta rewalk it so that I can film it. And

591
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,200
Speaker 1: I'm like, I've already, dude, I've already walked it. Man.

592
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: And then you know, there were certain times where you know,

593
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 1: he wouldn't be able to come out for another two

594
00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 1: weeks or something, but knowing that, like let's say the

595
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 1: bad Lands was coming up, or um, you know, fourth

596
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: of July pass through Idaho, and so he would we

597
00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 1: would drive out to these places so he could film

598
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:47,920
Speaker 1: me walking it, knowing damn well that now I've seen

599
00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 1: what I have to walk through. I've already walked it.

600
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 1: Now he's gonna drop me back off where he picks

601
00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: me up from when he leaves, and I gotta go

602
00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:56,959
Speaker 1: rewalk everything that and you know, knowing the future of

603
00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 1: what's to come, and I'm like, oh my god, I

604
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:03,880
Speaker 1: gotta walk up this hill twice. I mean, it was.

605
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 1: It was ridiculous, but that's I mean, that's what we

606
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 1: had to do. It was, you know, it was a

607
00:33:08,360 --> 00:33:10,440
Speaker 1: one man operation in filming and it was a two

608
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:14,120
Speaker 1: man operation, and trying to build this thing. It was crazy. Yeah.

609
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,360
Speaker 1: Having done some security work for the filming industry, I mean,

610
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:24,520
Speaker 1: for a filmmaker to be his own director, cameraman, sound guy, editor,

611
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:28,360
Speaker 1: the whole nine yards. Hats off to him. That's uh,

612
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,160
Speaker 1: that's that's not an easy job, you know. I remember

613
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:34,720
Speaker 1: you you talked about all the Gary fluid. I remember

614
00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 1: on one of the war films that I worked on,

615
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:43,760
Speaker 1: the still photographer, the guy who just takes still photos.

616
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 1: He had like you know those big long carts you

617
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 1: see in the airport that carry people's luggage. He had

618
00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,360
Speaker 1: three of those with just all of his camera gear.

619
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 1: And that's just a still photo, right, I mean it's insane.

620
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:02,080
Speaker 1: And you know, i'd I didn't know anything about cameras

621
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 1: before you know, Brian showed up in my life. Sure,

622
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: I know that we have them and you can take

623
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,440
Speaker 1: pictures with them. I had no idea, you know what

624
00:34:09,520 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 1: any of this four K, a K, ten K, whatever

625
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:15,080
Speaker 1: the hell this all is, whatever that was. And then

626
00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:20,240
Speaker 1: to realize that he used the camera that they used

627
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 1: to shoot the Avengers movies with, and I was like, oh, shut.

628
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 1: So then you start wondering, well, how much is that camera?

629
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: And then you start realizing that you're getting into six

630
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 1: digit numbers of camera equipment, and they're like, wow, this

631
00:34:34,960 --> 00:34:39,839
Speaker 1: is like this is impressive Wow, that's awesome. And now

632
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,319
Speaker 1: you know when he joined you, Uh, you know, what

633
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 1: was the I want to say, Well, I want to ask,

634
00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:51,600
Speaker 1: did it change any of the interactions you had with

635
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 1: either your former like uh, you know, guys of your

636
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:58,759
Speaker 1: unit or the gold Star families having the camera there

637
00:34:58,880 --> 00:35:01,920
Speaker 1: or do you think it was still um natural for

638
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:05,600
Speaker 1: you people? No, it was, you know, and I worried

639
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 1: about it, and uh in the beginning you could see

640
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:10,439
Speaker 1: it for a little bit, but as more and more

641
00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 1: guys started talking to each other about, Hey, Hancocks just

642
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,720
Speaker 1: came to me, Oh, yeah, Brian's attached. Hey, it's actually

643
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:17,560
Speaker 1: super easy. Don't even worry about it. Just act like

644
00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,040
Speaker 1: Brian's not even there. Well, I had already been working

645
00:35:20,080 --> 00:35:22,960
Speaker 1: with Brian so much that I forgot. I just forgot

646
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 1: about the camera and just did my thing because it

647
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 1: didn't matter to me. I'm the same person on or

648
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 1: off camera, so it just it felt natural to me.

649
00:35:31,239 --> 00:35:34,560
Speaker 1: So that I think me being so natural and me

650
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:39,080
Speaker 1: just ignoring the hell out of him. Uh it I came.

651
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: I think that kind of subconsciously gave all the other guys, uh,

652
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,719
Speaker 1: you know, permission to do the same and just like, oh, well,

653
00:35:46,960 --> 00:35:48,839
Speaker 1: through it like a Hancock's here and we're just gonna

654
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: have fun. Right. I have to ask you, I'm getting

655
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:59,279
Speaker 1: off subject with your name. Growing up in Massachusetts, John Hancock. Okay,

656
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:03,399
Speaker 1: that's that's a you know, a very famous name. Uh

657
00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:07,399
Speaker 1: in the American Revolution? Did did uh? Did you run

658
00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,240
Speaker 1: into some issues with that? Especially going through the Marine

659
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:13,520
Speaker 1: Corps boot camp? I can imagine something happened there. But

660
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 1: growing up was that an issue for you? Well? You know,

661
00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 1: I I learned very quickly. Uh, and I think a

662
00:36:20,200 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 1: lot quicker than my peers. Uh what a cock was?

663
00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 1: And then uh and and then you know, I say

664
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 1: to this day, hey man, listen, if you can make

665
00:36:31,719 --> 00:36:36,239
Speaker 1: a joke about my name and I laugh, I will

666
00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:40,840
Speaker 1: give you a thousand dollars because I've heard absolutely everyone

667
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,600
Speaker 1: and none of it's funny anymore. But you know, if

668
00:36:43,640 --> 00:36:47,439
Speaker 1: you got to give everybody their chance to try, Yeah,

669
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:52,239
Speaker 1: because growing up, you know again, John Hancock was you know,

670
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:57,040
Speaker 1: one of the big uh rabble rouses, I guess in

671
00:36:57,160 --> 00:37:02,520
Speaker 1: the American Revolution, you know, in the Boston name. So yeah,

672
00:37:02,520 --> 00:37:05,400
Speaker 1: he was the one that signed the Declaration of Independence

673
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 1: in big, huge letters right in the middle so the

674
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:10,440
Speaker 1: king would see it. So, yeah, so the king can

675
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 1: see it without his specs. Yeah, does that fit your

676
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:18,759
Speaker 1: personality a little bit? You know, I venture to say

677
00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:25,239
Speaker 1: yes without tooting my horn too much. That's good, that's good.

678
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,920
Speaker 1: You're keeping up the tradition. Then, absolutely, And you know,

679
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:31,239
Speaker 1: what do we have if we don't have? So if

680
00:37:31,239 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 1: I got to be an asshole, sometimes I guess I

681
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,080
Speaker 1: can do that too well. So you know, as uh,

682
00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 1: the guy who put me through s F training said

683
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 1: sometimes it's better to be a bad influence than no

684
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:44,919
Speaker 1: influence at all. There you go, brother, I mean that's

685
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 1: that's not that's not wrong. But I have to ask you,

686
00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 1: you know, as you're making your trip, I mean miles

687
00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:59,279
Speaker 1: across the country, did anyone join you along the way

688
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,480
Speaker 1: for any length of time? So? Yeah, I had one

689
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:06,880
Speaker 1: marine joined me in New Bronzels, Texas as I was

690
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,000
Speaker 1: walking down to the Alamo in se uh in San Antonio,

691
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,040
Speaker 1: and that was gonna be a two day walk, I

692
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 1: think it was. And I had to dial it down

693
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:17,280
Speaker 1: for him because he hadn't you know, he wasn't training

694
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,919
Speaker 1: and didn't do you know, thirty miles a day. Uh,

695
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:22,480
Speaker 1: So I whittled it down to doing I think we

696
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: ended up doing forty miles over two days. I figured

697
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 1: twenty miles a day. Uh. You know, you wake up

698
00:38:27,400 --> 00:38:30,640
Speaker 1: at five and then you know you're done by two

699
00:38:30,680 --> 00:38:33,239
Speaker 1: in the afternoon, so you know that that that's a

700
00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 1: good move. Well he he had, and of course he's

701
00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:40,439
Speaker 1: he's a marine, and so he brings out this honking ruck, right,

702
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:42,359
Speaker 1: and this thing's as heavy as mine. And I'm like,

703
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 1: what are you doing, dude, and he goes, well, if

704
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 1: you're doing it, I'm doing it. And I was like,

705
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 1: I keet that home, but like, you're going to die

706
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 1: over the next two days, like you have been trained

707
00:38:51,880 --> 00:38:54,719
Speaker 1: for this. And sure ship the next day, man, I

708
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: mean the last mile into the Alamo, he he, I

709
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: mean he was limping into the Alamo and we had

710
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:04,840
Speaker 1: some news crew there, some local affiliate for you know whatever, um,

711
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:06,520
Speaker 1: and they were down there and they filmed us in

712
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:10,839
Speaker 1: and uh and then the other really beautiful join was

713
00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:13,560
Speaker 1: right at the end and it was the last I

714
00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 1: want to say, it was the last four or five days.

715
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,600
Speaker 1: And Carrie Schrag, who is the youngest brother uh and

716
00:39:20,640 --> 00:39:23,560
Speaker 1: a gold star brother of Dustin Shreige who we lost

717
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:29,319
Speaker 1: in Iraq in on May three. Uh, he joined me

718
00:39:29,760 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 1: and he's he's in the film as well, but he

719
00:39:32,040 --> 00:39:35,640
Speaker 1: joined me for I think the last seventy five seventy

720
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:40,560
Speaker 1: eight miles from Long Beach all the way down into Pendleton. Wow,

721
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: that was really yeah. And you know, I mean because

722
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:47,720
Speaker 1: I was I was very lonely for a long period

723
00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:50,320
Speaker 1: of time. Uh, and you know, those those massive amounts

724
00:39:50,320 --> 00:39:53,760
Speaker 1: of relief would when I finally did get to another

725
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:56,600
Speaker 1: brother's house, another gold Star family's house, there was this

726
00:39:56,680 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 1: relief of you know, not being lonely and wanted to talk.

727
00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,560
Speaker 1: And I think that's why our conversations were so absolutely

728
00:40:04,400 --> 00:40:08,520
Speaker 1: uh just heartfelt and warming and and supportive. Was because

729
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:11,879
Speaker 1: you know, I, I've been experiencing this thing, and now

730
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:15,040
Speaker 1: I get to experience your grief with you and we

731
00:40:15,040 --> 00:40:19,200
Speaker 1: can share that. Yeah. You know, um, because I was

732
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:22,080
Speaker 1: thinking about this as you know, reading your story, and

733
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:26,759
Speaker 1: I often wondered, you know, you talk about it's it's

734
00:40:26,800 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 1: an exercise and healing not only for yourself but for

735
00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:32,919
Speaker 1: the people that you're meeting. But you know, when you're

736
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:36,040
Speaker 1: on the road and you have all that solitude and

737
00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 1: you're around some some of the most beautiful areas that

738
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: our country can offer. I often wonder where your thoughts were.

739
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure your thoughts of us have been

740
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 1: all over the place at that point. You know. I

741
00:40:49,360 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 1: at some point, you know, when I would see these

742
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 1: just absolutely gorgeous areas, I would become pretty sad. And

743
00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,880
Speaker 1: it was because, you know, I'm looking at just sheer beauty.

744
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 1: I'm walking through to a postcard and uh, you know,

745
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:05,080
Speaker 1: my brothers aren't here to experience this, and they'll never

746
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 1: experience it, and so that was very sad for me.

747
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:10,840
Speaker 1: But you know, I guess a few days ago a

748
00:41:10,880 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 1: marine brother of mine had watched the film and uh,

749
00:41:14,560 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 1: he he wrote something and you know, at the end,

750
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:21,400
Speaker 1: he said, your brothers are seeing this because uh, you

751
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 1: are living for them and and you're actually they're emissary

752
00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 1: and you uh and because you are still living that

753
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,359
Speaker 1: they absolutely do get to see it. And that really

754
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,680
Speaker 1: hit me hard. And I thought that was really neat. Um.

755
00:41:34,719 --> 00:41:37,279
Speaker 1: So you know that it kind of changes perspectives over time.

756
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,760
Speaker 1: But uh, you know, there were so many different times

757
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 1: that my thoughts would go into some of these really

758
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:45,920
Speaker 1: deep dark memories. Uh. And what I was finding was

759
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:47,960
Speaker 1: that over the course of time, I was able to

760
00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 1: access all of my memories from combat, even the very

761
00:41:52,040 --> 00:41:57,040
Speaker 1: difficult ones, and I was continually accessing them while pushing

762
00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 1: myself through something very physically demanding. And by doing that,

763
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,680
Speaker 1: I was actually kind of doing this really amped up

764
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:08,360
Speaker 1: if you would consider it a cognitive behavioral therapy. But

765
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:12,160
Speaker 1: I was just doing it alone. And I've learned that

766
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:16,440
Speaker 1: I'm now able to access my memories without becoming just

767
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:18,719
Speaker 1: a big sobbing mess on the ground, and I can

768
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,399
Speaker 1: I can kind of weave my way in and out

769
00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:24,920
Speaker 1: of the memory without it truly affecting me, uh to

770
00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 1: the point of like debilitation, if you will. And and

771
00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:30,880
Speaker 1: do you think that uh, a lot of the guys

772
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 1: you know that that we're suffering from your unit, do

773
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 1: you think this helped them out a lot? I know

774
00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 1: it has, And I won't say it's helped every single person,

775
00:42:41,719 --> 00:42:44,440
Speaker 1: but I can tell you that there have been a

776
00:42:44,600 --> 00:42:48,319
Speaker 1: multitude of magnificent bastards who have called me or text me,

777
00:42:48,360 --> 00:42:52,160
Speaker 1: wrote me, emailed me something, uh, telling me that it

778
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: has helped them and that you know, it's helped their wives,

779
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:57,240
Speaker 1: or it's helped their mothers, or it's helped their family

780
00:42:57,239 --> 00:42:59,840
Speaker 1: to understand a little bit more and that means the

781
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:06,000
Speaker 1: world to me. Yeah, because I think you know, military

782
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:09,280
Speaker 1: guys said, they're much more willing to talk to another

783
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:13,239
Speaker 1: military person, be it a Marina Army guy. You know,

784
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:16,319
Speaker 1: it's it's tough for them to explain to their to

785
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 1: their parents, are their spouse when they get home, because

786
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: they you know, nothing against your families. They were all

787
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 1: there for you, but they just don't understand. They don't

788
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:30,000
Speaker 1: understand what's going on. No, yeah, they don't. And I

789
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 1: think the other sad thing that we don't talk about,

790
00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:37,120
Speaker 1: but is also a piece of this is sure there's

791
00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 1: moral injury and you know you were raised a certain way.

792
00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:43,520
Speaker 1: I got that, but uh, I think there is a

793
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 1: massive fear of judgment. I know there was for me.

794
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 1: I know there has been for others. Um. I try

795
00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,000
Speaker 1: not to speak for the veteran populace as a whole.

796
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 1: I can't do that. I don't know every veteran. I

797
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:55,759
Speaker 1: don't know what they've all experienced, but I do know

798
00:43:55,800 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 1: what I've experienced, and I do know what my brothers

799
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:00,720
Speaker 1: told me. And I think there is a assive amount

800
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 1: of fear of judgment for doing something, uh that they

801
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 1: have they can't put into context of why that would happen. Uh,

802
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 1: And so the civilian population. Uh, and because it happens,

803
00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:15,359
Speaker 1: and you know, they're idiots out there and just you know,

804
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,640
Speaker 1: real works of art that decided to call you, you know,

805
00:44:18,640 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 1: a baby killer or something. Um, and that happens. And

806
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,080
Speaker 1: so I think there. I think the other reason that

807
00:44:24,360 --> 00:44:26,200
Speaker 1: you know, I shut down for a long time was

808
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:29,400
Speaker 1: that I didn't want to have that happen and I

809
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:33,479
Speaker 1: didn't want to continually experience that while trying to tell

810
00:44:33,520 --> 00:44:37,000
Speaker 1: my story, And so I buttoned up for a long time. Right.

811
00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:40,640
Speaker 1: And there's a there's always a great deal of survivor

812
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:50,880
Speaker 1: guilt as well when yeah, absolutely, especially so badly, right absolutely.

813
00:44:50,880 --> 00:44:52,920
Speaker 1: And I know a lot of guys, Uh, A lot

814
00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,440
Speaker 1: of guys feel the same way, and they just you know,

815
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 1: they wish these guys were here, and they we wish

816
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:03,960
Speaker 1: that we took their place. That's the sad part. Um.

817
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,240
Speaker 1: I have to add, when you when you reach Pendleton,

818
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,880
Speaker 1: what was that like? Uh, you know, walking through the

819
00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:13,840
Speaker 1: gates there. Uh, that was amazing because it was the

820
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:17,360
Speaker 1: last day and you know, I had actually really arrived

821
00:45:17,440 --> 00:45:20,759
Speaker 1: in San clement A two days prior, right, And so

822
00:45:20,880 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 1: that truly was the end of the walk, right, because

823
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:27,439
Speaker 1: the last eight miles are you know, into Pendleton's uh

824
00:45:27,440 --> 00:45:29,080
Speaker 1: and you know, I can do eight miles standing on

825
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:32,560
Speaker 1: my head. So you know, walking in on Friday and

826
00:45:32,600 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: no one was around, and you know, cars were whizzing by,

827
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,640
Speaker 1: and it's just me and Brian and Carrie Shrag and

828
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,040
Speaker 1: you know, I kind of hugged everybody. I was like, Okay,

829
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,000
Speaker 1: it's over, and he goes, well, it's not really over.

830
00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:44,640
Speaker 1: I mean we still have Monday to do, but uh, yeah,

831
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:47,080
Speaker 1: it's kind of over. And it was kind of lackluster, right,

832
00:45:47,160 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 1: And then you know, Monday morning, at zero eight, I

833
00:45:49,960 --> 00:45:53,840
Speaker 1: step off from the only Hanson Beach house where I

834
00:45:53,840 --> 00:45:57,919
Speaker 1: had walked into on Friday, and you know, there's God,

835
00:45:57,920 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 1: there's a hundred dudes with me. People from all over

836
00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 1: the country flew into come and support and walk with me.

837
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,439
Speaker 1: Guys I hadn't seen in hell, Guys I hadn't seen

838
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:10,960
Speaker 1: in sixteen years, fourteen years. Uh, and for them to

839
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 1: be there with me at the end was absolutely amazing.

840
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:15,719
Speaker 1: And then you walk through the gates of Pendleton, and

841
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:18,759
Speaker 1: this is to really show you how far the military

842
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 1: has come when it when it comes to the softer

843
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:24,839
Speaker 1: side of the house, the emotion side of the house,

844
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:28,319
Speaker 1: and speaking out about things that you've experienced. Uh, same time.

845
00:46:28,360 --> 00:46:31,959
Speaker 1: Fourth Marines, the entire current unit participated in that day,

846
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,040
Speaker 1: and they lined every Marines from that battalion lined the

847
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 1: road and as I walked by them, they saluted and

848
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:42,920
Speaker 1: then they got information behind us. And you know, so

849
00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:45,960
Speaker 1: now I'm walking with an entire battalion of Marines plus

850
00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,520
Speaker 1: you know, a hundred and fifty people that have flown

851
00:46:48,560 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: all over the country. And then when I get there,

852
00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,480
Speaker 1: you know, there's elements of all you know, one, five

853
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 1: to five, three, five are all there, and you know,

854
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:58,920
Speaker 1: there's hell, there's four thousand people at the end of

855
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 1: this thing, and you my son's there, and uh it was.

856
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:07,040
Speaker 1: It was absolutely one of the coolest things I've ever

857
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:10,040
Speaker 1: done in my life to experience that amount of support

858
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 1: from the active military and from the active Marine Corps um.

859
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:18,960
Speaker 1: You know, I I struggle with how to show you

860
00:47:19,040 --> 00:47:21,719
Speaker 1: emotionally what I was feeling or tell you emotionally what

861
00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:26,239
Speaker 1: I was feeling, because it was overload. It was absolute overload.

862
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 1: But in the best way possible that had to have

863
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:33,600
Speaker 1: been Yeah, you had have been after fifty months. I

864
00:47:33,600 --> 00:47:35,440
Speaker 1: know it sounds silly, but you had been walking on

865
00:47:35,560 --> 00:47:39,040
Speaker 1: air at that point. Oh yeah, absolutely that that rock

866
00:47:39,160 --> 00:47:45,320
Speaker 1: didn't weigh it damn pounds. Yeah, I know. We talked

867
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 1: offline and uh you uh tell our listeners of what

868
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:53,800
Speaker 1: your feet looked like at the end of this. Oh buddy,

869
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:55,759
Speaker 1: I tell you what my My feet looked like a

870
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 1: prehistoric river bed. I mean it was. They were absolutely rugged.

871
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,840
Speaker 1: Uh you know, and I had. The problem is is

872
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 1: I had been getting blisters for about four thousand miles

873
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: right because I never gave my chance my feet a

874
00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 1: chance to heal. So every day, after I've done with

875
00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,359
Speaker 1: the day, I would just lance these blisters. I'd let

876
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,719
Speaker 1: him drain, I'd pack them full of powder. I'd wrap

877
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 1: them up in tape super tight, and then the next

878
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:23,560
Speaker 1: morning I would unwrap the tape, I'd repack them with powder,

879
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:26,600
Speaker 1: rewrap the tape, and then get on with the walks

880
00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:29,280
Speaker 1: of the day. So for four thousand miles, I'm walking

881
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:32,560
Speaker 1: on blistered feet and it was tough. Uh, not until

882
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:35,280
Speaker 1: I got to the PCT right to the Pacific Crest's

883
00:48:35,280 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 1: Trail at the Bridge of the Gods between Washington and Oregon.

884
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:41,840
Speaker 1: And I got onto the PCT that I stopped getting

885
00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:44,840
Speaker 1: blisters because you know, for the next seven or eight days,

886
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:47,240
Speaker 1: maybe nine days that I was walking on the PCT,

887
00:48:47,880 --> 00:48:50,799
Speaker 1: I was walking on pine needles and I mean I

888
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 1: was just walking on pillows and it was awesome. So

889
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:57,759
Speaker 1: that gave my my feet a chance to really heal

890
00:48:57,880 --> 00:48:59,960
Speaker 1: up from a lot of the hard pounding of rows

891
00:49:00,040 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 1: roads and dirt road and all that. And so after that,

892
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:06,880
Speaker 1: I didn't really have too many more blisters until right

893
00:49:06,920 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 1: at the end when I when I definitely I definitely

894
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:14,359
Speaker 1: got a few shoring up coming into coming into San

895
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:18,680
Speaker 1: Clemente before the end of the war. Well, um, let's

896
00:49:19,000 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 1: talk a little bit more about the film Bastard Road. Yeah,

897
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 1: it won the Best Documentary at the Santa Barbara Film Festival,

898
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 1: the Audience Award at the Slam Dance. Um, you know,

899
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:40,960
Speaker 1: what's your thoughts on how how all of this turned out? Well,

900
00:49:41,000 --> 00:49:44,440
Speaker 1: I was, I was. I didn't realize it was gonna

901
00:49:44,440 --> 00:49:47,400
Speaker 1: do what it did. Um. You know, so we we

902
00:49:47,560 --> 00:49:51,440
Speaker 1: wereld premiered at Santa Barbara International Film Festival and the

903
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:55,239
Speaker 1: first day we had uh, I think we had a

904
00:49:55,280 --> 00:49:59,200
Speaker 1: theater that was probably a hundred and fifty seat theater. Uh,

905
00:49:59,239 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 1: And it wasn't it wasn't dead. I'd call it about

906
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:04,440
Speaker 1: a hundred and twenty people in there, and there there

907
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 1: were definitely a few seats open, but it was still

908
00:50:06,280 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 1: pretty full. Um. And then after that we had a

909
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:14,200
Speaker 1: Q and A and everyone stayed. And Santa Barbara is

910
00:50:14,239 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 1: not a military town, right, I mean, it's it's pretty

911
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:18,879
Speaker 1: far north up there, north of l A. And it's

912
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: it's pretty hoity toity up there, and so there's not

913
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:25,520
Speaker 1: a lot of military up there, and they stayed. And

914
00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:28,560
Speaker 1: then you know, I walked outside after this Q and

915
00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 1: A and everyone's still out there, and now all the

916
00:50:31,440 --> 00:50:33,319
Speaker 1: people that have seen this film are talking to all

917
00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: these other people who are, you know, waiting in line

918
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 1: to see another film, and everyone's crying, and you know,

919
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:42,520
Speaker 1: I was. It really affected people. And then the next

920
00:50:42,600 --> 00:50:45,719
Speaker 1: day we got a phone call that evening that says, hey,

921
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:49,279
Speaker 1: you've got a venue change tomorrow. I think it was

922
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:52,920
Speaker 1: a Sunday. Your film is being shown at the Liberos Theater,

923
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:56,719
Speaker 1: which is like a six fifty person theater. And when

924
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:58,879
Speaker 1: I showed up, like I think I showed up about

925
00:50:58,920 --> 00:51:02,279
Speaker 1: an hour before the film was screening. And because I

926
00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 1: was hanging out with a couple of Marines that chose

927
00:51:03,719 --> 00:51:05,480
Speaker 1: to come up and hang out with us and you know,

928
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 1: experienced this whole thing together. I mean, we turned the

929
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 1: corner and there is a line down the block to

930
00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:13,920
Speaker 1: get into this movie and I'm like, oh, ship, Like

931
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:18,520
Speaker 1: this is big, and the theater was packed, and you know,

932
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 1: just seeing the connection that was made at every one

933
00:51:21,920 --> 00:51:26,799
Speaker 1: of these film festivals, uh, throughout the course of the

934
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:30,759
Speaker 1: connection to the civilian population was amazing. And it was

935
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:33,280
Speaker 1: something that I've always wanted to do, is to bridge

936
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:37,319
Speaker 1: that gap between veteran and civilian so that you know,

937
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 1: maybe the civilian doesn't have to ask those dumb questions anymore, uh,

938
00:51:40,480 --> 00:51:42,920
Speaker 1: and maybe they don't have to feel awkward for asking questions.

939
00:51:43,560 --> 00:51:46,479
Speaker 1: But if we can give them something that not every

940
00:51:46,560 --> 00:51:49,480
Speaker 1: veteran experience is the same way, but to understand one

941
00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 1: man's story of struggle and redemption, uh, it might give

942
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:56,600
Speaker 1: them a little bit better insight into the veteran population

943
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:59,200
Speaker 1: as a whole. Uh. And you know, maybe pause for

944
00:51:59,239 --> 00:52:02,280
Speaker 1: a second and give a little bit of a listening

945
00:52:02,280 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 1: ear for a little bit longer, uh, and maybe not

946
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 1: be so quick to judge and so to see that

947
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:10,880
Speaker 1: and just to experience this over this past year and

948
00:52:10,920 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 1: then you know, with the philm kind of getting picked

949
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 1: up through Drama Toss and then having this, uh, this

950
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:21,040
Speaker 1: major release on all these streaming platforms and cable you know,

951
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:26,160
Speaker 1: TV on demand platforms. Uh. It's been humbling. And you know,

952
00:52:26,239 --> 00:52:29,680
Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not worried about people watching my story

953
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:33,440
Speaker 1: for fear of you know, me feeling bad about it

954
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:36,600
Speaker 1: or something. I'm actually very happy that people get to

955
00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:39,560
Speaker 1: start seeing this because when I'm what we're noticing is

956
00:52:39,719 --> 00:52:43,400
Speaker 1: so many, so many veterans are aligning to this and

957
00:52:43,520 --> 00:52:47,040
Speaker 1: saying this is it Like, screw Hollywood. They never get

958
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 1: it right. This is where it's at. And you know,

959
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:52,040
Speaker 1: I think I think if we're doing anything, we're showing

960
00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:55,400
Speaker 1: other veterans, uh, that it's possible to tell your own story,

961
00:52:55,400 --> 00:52:57,239
Speaker 1: and that you should tell your own story and not

962
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:02,040
Speaker 1: to allow Hollywood to tell it us. Great. And the

963
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:05,120
Speaker 1: music video that went along with it was I thought

964
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 1: extremely well done and I thought it fitted perfectly, oh absolutely.

965
00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:12,359
Speaker 1: And you know I mean Brian Brian built that music

966
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:14,719
Speaker 1: video too with Luke uh, and of course Luke's that

967
00:53:14,880 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 1: the singer songwriter for that. But yeah, they all the

968
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 1: all the music is original music in this film, and

969
00:53:21,719 --> 00:53:24,600
Speaker 1: it was created by Jan dan Strout and Mike Marks

970
00:53:24,600 --> 00:53:28,720
Speaker 1: Gibbons and Luke James Schaefer. Who are you know? Uh,

971
00:53:28,920 --> 00:53:32,200
Speaker 1: Mike is a Mike's a violinist, but he's also he's

972
00:53:32,239 --> 00:53:35,319
Speaker 1: also an Army veteran. Uh and so you know he's

973
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:37,239
Speaker 1: very close to this project. So when you hear that

974
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 1: violin throughout the film, just know that that's an Army

975
00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:44,840
Speaker 1: veteran playing that. That's awesome. I have to ask you

976
00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 1: how many pairs of boots did you go through? Yeah,

977
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:52,960
Speaker 1: that's a good one. I went through seven pairs of shoes. Wow,

978
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:58,399
Speaker 1: all right, without without giving free advertising. Was there one

979
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:02,920
Speaker 1: specific brand that you are wearing? Uh? Yeah, it starts

980
00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:07,960
Speaker 1: with an M. I know exactly which one you're saying.

981
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,239
Speaker 1: I actually have seven pairs of those that begin with

982
00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 1: the names. Yeah. Absolutely, that's great. A John, I really

983
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 1: want to thank you for taking the time with us today.

984
00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it. We appreciate all you're doing because

985
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:29,800
Speaker 1: you know, when with Memorial Day right around the corner,

986
00:54:30,360 --> 00:54:32,760
Speaker 1: you know, this is a time when we think about

987
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:37,160
Speaker 1: our veterans who we've lost. PTSD is such a big

988
00:54:37,719 --> 00:54:41,560
Speaker 1: issue right now with all branches of the service and

989
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:44,080
Speaker 1: as we all know that we're losing too many veterans

990
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:48,200
Speaker 1: a suicide every day. And and this is a story

991
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:51,480
Speaker 1: I think that will you know, resonate with our veteran

992
00:54:51,560 --> 00:54:54,840
Speaker 1: community and people know that there's help out there, because

993
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:58,279
Speaker 1: I thought, you know, your story is one of it's

994
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:01,239
Speaker 1: it's about healing, but it's it's uh to me, it's

995
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:06,800
Speaker 1: more about hope. Yeah, yeah, brother, And you know, thanks

996
00:55:06,800 --> 00:55:08,799
Speaker 1: for having me today and thanks for allowing me the

997
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,799
Speaker 1: time to talk and to kind of share my I

998
00:55:11,840 --> 00:55:15,600
Speaker 1: guess my my my abilities or my my desires with

999
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:17,640
Speaker 1: you on this film and on you know, going forward

1000
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:20,920
Speaker 1: and helping veterans. Uh, And it is it is truly

1001
00:55:21,000 --> 00:55:23,760
Speaker 1: a story about hope and that you know, if you

1002
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 1: you know, just wake up another day, man and just

1003
00:55:26,640 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 1: put your feet on the ground and do something. And

1004
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:31,839
Speaker 1: I promise you it gets better. And you know that's

1005
00:55:31,960 --> 00:55:35,080
Speaker 1: I had to. I don't suggest you walks to go

1006
00:55:35,120 --> 00:55:36,719
Speaker 1: find that out, but if it's if that's you know,

1007
00:55:36,800 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 1: if that's something you want to do, I'll support you

1008
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:42,279
Speaker 1: in it. But uh, you know, find something that you're

1009
00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:45,960
Speaker 1: passionate about and and do it again, and don't give

1010
00:55:45,960 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 1: a shit about anybody else and what they think of it.

1011
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:52,520
Speaker 1: Go figure yourself out by you know, allowing yourself to

1012
00:55:52,560 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 1: do the thing you want to do. And that's really

1013
00:55:55,360 --> 00:55:57,520
Speaker 1: all it is for me, man, and mine. Mine is

1014
00:55:57,520 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 1: walking and talking. And you know, for other eyes it's

1015
00:56:01,080 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 1: it's a gym, or other guys it's you know, from

1016
00:56:03,680 --> 00:56:05,839
Speaker 1: rock climbing or whatever it is. But I can tell

1017
00:56:05,880 --> 00:56:08,560
Speaker 1: you that the thing that I've learned about myself and

1018
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:11,080
Speaker 1: about every other veteran who has made it out of

1019
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 1: the darkness is you have to do something physical every day.

1020
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,560
Speaker 1: You have to put yourself in a position and where

1021
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:21,480
Speaker 1: you sweat and build that sweat equity for yourself and

1022
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:24,000
Speaker 1: it helps. And you know, if I can leave anybody

1023
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:26,440
Speaker 1: with that, it's you know, go just go outside and

1024
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:29,879
Speaker 1: walk around some beautiful areas, some you know, national park

1025
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 1: or national wilderness, and I promise you'll feel better. That's awesome. Well,

1026
00:56:35,000 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 1: hats off to you, John, I mean, like I said,

1027
00:56:38,120 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 1: we really appreciate the time and that. That is a

1028
00:56:41,239 --> 00:56:46,399
Speaker 1: fantastic story. Folks. Please check it out Bastard's Road. It's

1029
00:56:46,520 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 1: it's available and all those streaming services. Uh not only television.

1030
00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:57,400
Speaker 1: You can download it on your computer, so it's definitely

1031
00:56:57,400 --> 00:57:01,399
Speaker 1: worth the time, you know, with Memorial Day right around

1032
00:57:01,440 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 1: the corner, I can't think of a better time to

1033
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:05,920
Speaker 1: check it out. But from all of us here at

1034
00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:08,200
Speaker 1: soft reap dot com, we want to thank you all

1035
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:11,719
Speaker 1: for listening. But before we go, you know, if you

1036
00:57:11,760 --> 00:57:14,799
Speaker 1: want to get soft repp on your phone, download our

1037
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:18,240
Speaker 1: free mobile app and get easy access to articles, podcast

1038
00:57:18,320 --> 00:57:22,160
Speaker 1: gear reviews, all perfectly formatted to your device. Please subscribe

1039
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:24,640
Speaker 1: to softwap dot com to get access to all our

1040
00:57:24,760 --> 00:57:28,040
Speaker 1: library of e books and our exclusive team room forms

1041
00:57:28,040 --> 00:57:31,880
Speaker 1: and content available on all Apple and Android devices. John,

1042
00:57:31,920 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 1: thanks again for taking the time with us. This was

1043
00:57:35,080 --> 00:57:41,080
Speaker 1: fantastic and congratulations on a job very well done. Thanks

1044
00:57:41,400 --> 00:57:43,520
Speaker 1: absolutely you have a wonderful day and enjoy your Memorial

1045
00:57:43,600 --> 00:58:04,360
Speaker 1: Day you too. All right, brother, take care you've been

1046
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:06,360
Speaker 1: listening to self red Radio