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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour. We are

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Speaker 1: so happy to be back. Thanks for joining us. How

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Speaker 1: you doing, Susan.

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Speaker 2: Good Honey's nice to see you. If you haven't heard

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Speaker 2: Wednesday's episode, make sure to check it out because we

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Speaker 2: had Faith with us.

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Speaker 1: How about Faith.

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Speaker 2: I know she doesn't want to do Bachelor Paradise.

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Speaker 1: If there is one, yeah, and then there's you pushing her,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, forget about it. Forget about it. It's less

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Speaker 1: competition by Faith. Nice knowing you see you later?

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Speaker 2: Great, didn't she?

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Speaker 1: She does look great and she you know, she is

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Speaker 1: an interesting woman. She lives in the country side. You know,

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Speaker 1: she doesn't live in a city. She loves her animals,

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Speaker 1: her horses. I don't get the horses, but you know,

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Speaker 1: she just loves her rural life. And I love that

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Speaker 1: she's so independent and leads the life she wants to lead.

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Speaker 2: She looks fabulous though she does, and she sounds happier.

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Speaker 1: She sounds happy and Faith, We're really gonna miss you.

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Speaker 1: If there's a Bachelor in Paradise.

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Speaker 2: We'll tell you all about it.

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Speaker 1: But it's not everything. All right, It's another Friday, so

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Speaker 1: we're back with more fan questions, Susan, these are really

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Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you right now, these are some

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Speaker 1: tough ones. So I'm excited to help out some of

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Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation today and I need you to help out too.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we really love helping you guys out, So please

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Speaker 2: keep the questions coming. Go to bachelornation dot com slash

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Speaker 2: Golden Hour to send us your questions now.

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Speaker 1: Really, you need to send those questions. We love them,

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Speaker 1: We love hearing from you. But before we get into

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Speaker 1: today's question, Susan, we got to start with our question

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Speaker 1: of the day. What do we have to kick us

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Speaker 1: off today?

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Speaker 2: Do you think right person, wrong time is real?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, you do. Meeting the right person at the wrong time.

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Speaker 2: What's the wrong time.

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Speaker 1: You're separated, you're raising young kids, your your career is first.

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Speaker 1: I mean I could think of a hundred reasons that

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Speaker 1: at my stage in life now know where I am,

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Speaker 1: where you are. If we meet the right guy, it

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Speaker 1: is the right time for us.

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Speaker 2: I think for me, if it's the right person, I

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Speaker 2: would make at the right time.

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Speaker 1: Okay, how are you going to do that? You're you're

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Speaker 1: raising three young kids, you're divorced, you've got a full

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Speaker 1: time job. How are you going to put mister Right first?

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Speaker 2: Well, he has to know I have children, so if

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Speaker 2: he's missed right, he'll embrace them as well.

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Speaker 1: What, girlfriend, you are living in dreamland?

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Speaker 2: I always have.

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Speaker 1: I really do think that when you're younger, when those

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Speaker 1: of you out there, who are you know, in your twenties, thirties, forties,

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Speaker 1: and really even in your fifties, your life is so

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Speaker 1: complicated by career and family and so many things, that

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Speaker 1: you might meet the right person. What if you met

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Speaker 1: the right person Susan, who's just coming off of a

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Speaker 1: bad relationship, what about that?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well no, I hear you. I hear you. Or

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Speaker 2: if you're right in the middle of your career taking off,

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Speaker 2: I mean there's yeah, I get it.

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Speaker 1: I mean you and I are sitting around just waiting

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Speaker 1: for mister Wright to come along, So definitely right time

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Speaker 1: for the right guy. All right, let's go these questions.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you are too cares one sure.

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Speaker 2: This is from Mandy, who is twenty five from Kansas City. Hi,

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Speaker 2: Kathian and Susan. I'm in a tough position and I

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Speaker 2: have no idea what to do. I'm currently in my

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Speaker 2: first ever long term relationship. We've been together for a

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Speaker 2: few years and have lived together for the past year,

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Speaker 2: and I've really enjoyed our time together. However, I'm starting

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Speaker 2: to notice things about our relationship that are worrying me.

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Speaker 2: For example, I'll talk to him about my day something

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Speaker 2: crazy I saw online. He's not really into social media,

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Speaker 2: really any kind of casual conversation, and I'll catch that

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Speaker 2: he's not listening to me. I don't feel like this

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Speaker 2: all the time, but when I do notice it, it

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Speaker 2: hits me really hard. I know I'm more chatty and

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Speaker 2: he's more of a listener, and lots of my friends

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Speaker 2: have teased me in the past for being really talkative,

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Speaker 2: so that's a possibility. I don't interrupt him when he's

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Speaker 2: doing something like watching TV, but I'm realizing me I

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Speaker 2: don't always strike up conversations at the best times. What

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Speaker 2: do you think? How do you balance a chatty partner

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Speaker 2: with a more quiet partner? How do I even bring

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Speaker 2: this up? Being made to feel embarrassed or awkward about

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Speaker 2: how much I talk is a huge trigger for me

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Speaker 2: and really hurts my feelings. I don't want to feel

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Speaker 2: like I can't be myself around my partner, but I

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Speaker 2: also want to respect his space and acknowledge his role

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Speaker 2: in our partnership.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yes, Susan, Yeah, Mandy, this was me with my husband.

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Speaker 1: I'm not kidding, I'm reading this going. This was me.

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Speaker 2: So.

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Speaker 1: I am very talkative, very garrulous, very outgoing, and my

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Speaker 1: husband was much more introverted and shy, and I often

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Speaker 1: would be talking and I would look at him and say,

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Speaker 1: you're not listening to me. And then I realized, Mandy,

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Speaker 1: that you're absolutely right. There's sometimes that he might be

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Speaker 1: reading a book or watching a show, or just decompressing

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Speaker 1: from his work day, and I think you have to

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Speaker 1: read the room a little better than I did. Just

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Speaker 1: give him a little bit of space. What I found

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Speaker 1: worked was I would say to my husband his name

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Speaker 1: was Darryl. I would say, Darryl, let's go out and

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Speaker 1: take a walk. It was like a planned time to

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Speaker 1: sit and talk together. And I would talk and I

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Speaker 1: would ask him questions. It was like setting up a

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Speaker 1: daytime to talk. And that really worked well for me.

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Speaker 2: So, I have a girlfriend that is extremely chatty, and

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Speaker 2: for me, it makes me anxious. I don't holler, but

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Speaker 2: I look at her and I had a heart to

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Speaker 2: heart with her and said there's too many words. There's

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Speaker 2: just you lose me. You've lost me, like I don't

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Speaker 2: even know what it is you're talking about because you

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Speaker 2: give me background details. And I'm imagining that's what chatty means,

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Speaker 2: Like you just go on and on and on, and

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Speaker 2: it's a lot for some people. So less is more.

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Speaker 2: But when you want to get something important across to him,

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Speaker 2: he will pay attention if you don't use so many words.

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Speaker 1: You know, that's that's an interesting thought. I've never thought

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Speaker 1: about it in that context. But I think that she, Mandy,

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Speaker 1: you hit on something. You said that he's a quiet partner.

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Speaker 1: My husband was a quiet partner, and you know what, Mandy,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes people are better listeners

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Speaker 1: and are more comfortable being the listener than the talker.

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Speaker 1: I think what you're saying is you're a little uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: doing all the talking, and so I would and.

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Speaker 2: Her friends, her friends have told her she's chatty. So right,

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Speaker 2: there's a point here, right.

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Speaker 1: Right, And the point is set some time apart where

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Speaker 1: you where your husband or your I guess it's your

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Speaker 1: partner knows that you guys are going to have conversation,

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Speaker 1: and that means two way conversation and the rest of

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Speaker 1: the time, you know, let him have his space, talk

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Speaker 1: when you want to talk and understand that he might

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Speaker 1: just be a listener and that's okay.

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Speaker 2: And don't be mad at me. But less is more

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Speaker 2: sometimes it really is. Because I have a friend exactly

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Speaker 2: like you and I love her to death, but it's

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Speaker 2: a lot sometimes.

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Speaker 1: Well, we wish you the best, Mandy. And one more

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Speaker 1: quick thing, I want to say. They knew each other

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Speaker 1: a year and it's her first ever long term relationship.

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Speaker 1: They've known each other few years, they've lived together one year, Mandy.

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Speaker 1: That's what living together is about. You're not married. It's

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Speaker 1: about finding out about each other. Maybe you two aren't

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Speaker 1: meant to spend the rest of your life together. So

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Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not wishing you ill. I'm just saying,

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Speaker 1: these are the kinds of things you discover when you

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Speaker 1: live with someone that the good, the bad, and the ugly.

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Speaker 2: So you know, find out now.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's better to find out now. Justify.

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Speaker 2: I'm sure he's just used to your chat chat chat

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Speaker 2: and it just tunes it out sometimes, that's all. But

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Speaker 2: I would I would actually on the date night or

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Speaker 2: something that you're both in a good place and he's

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Speaker 2: paying attention to have the conversation with him, right, say

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry that you know. I know I go on

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Speaker 2: and on, but.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know what, you might be surprised, Mandy.

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Speaker 1: He may say to you, Hey, you know what, You're right?

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Speaker 1: You do go on and on? Could you cut it short?

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Speaker 1: Or you know what he might say, Mandy, I love

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Speaker 1: listening to you. I love you, I love everything about you. So,

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Speaker 1: as we like to say around here community, Kate, talk

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Speaker 1: to him about what you're thinking and feeling and see

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Speaker 1: where it goes from there. All right, let's move on

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Speaker 1: to question number two. This is from Becca from Orange

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Speaker 1: County and she asks Kathy and Susan Soos, I need you.

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Speaker 1: I'm with my boyfriend of four years and I absolutely

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Speaker 1: love him. Between where we're each at and the conversations

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Speaker 1: we've had, I can say confidently that we'll be engaged

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Speaker 1: sometime next year. Thinking about marrying him has been something

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Speaker 1: I've been nothing but stoked for until last weekend. I've

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Speaker 1: met my boyfriend's parents over FaceTime a million times, sometimes

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Speaker 1: even chatting for over an hour, and they've always seemed

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Speaker 1: so lovely. Between work their retirement travel and our own

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Speaker 1: family holiday traditions. Our in person meeting hasn't been possible

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Speaker 1: until now, So last weekend we finally got to fly

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Speaker 1: out to them so they could meet me in person.

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Speaker 1: The first few hours were so great until I noticed

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Speaker 1: something on my boyfriend's mother's phone. I won't go into

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Speaker 1: too much detail, but I noticed an Instagram notification that

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Speaker 1: wasn't for her username that I follow she regularly posts from.

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Speaker 1: I thought I recognized the different username, and when I

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Speaker 1: looked it up, I realized it was an anonymous, pictureless

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Speaker 1: account that has often sent me hate comments and dms.

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Speaker 1: I have a decent following, so I'm used to spam

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Speaker 1: dms and not so nice comments. I was completely in shock,

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Speaker 1: and I still am. Told my boyfriend what do I do?

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Speaker 1: I love him and I want to spend my life

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Speaker 1: with him, but if that account is truly run by

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Speaker 1: his mom, I don't ever want to be around her.

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Speaker 1: How do I even talk about this? Oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: that's a big damn social media. It's just a pain

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Speaker 1: in her ass.

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Speaker 2: Wow, you know what my first reaction, I don't know

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Speaker 2: that I tell him, I confront.

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Speaker 1: Her, confront her, Yes, It's exactly what I was thinking.

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Speaker 1: Oh we agreed two times? Did I get crazy? Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: I would screw that.

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Speaker 2: You got a problem with me, Let's talk and say

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Speaker 2: whatever that name is and say, by the way, is

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Speaker 2: this you?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and my friend she needs to be ready that

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Speaker 1: mom might say yeah, and I don't like you. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's right, seriously, and your son does you know what?

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Speaker 1: It's a tough one. I'm going to be honest here.

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Speaker 1: My my mother in law did not love me. I

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Speaker 1: can't imagine why, but you know, my husband was the

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Speaker 1: only son and he was the oldest child and she

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Speaker 1: just really struggled with letting her son go. So it

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Speaker 1: may be that situation. It may be some jealousy. It

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Speaker 1: may there's also the chance that you missaw the user name,

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Speaker 1: that it was something so sillyer hopefully. That's a tough one.

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Speaker 1: I think you have to be ready for the consequences,

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Speaker 1: do you think so?

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Speaker 2: Definitely? Definitely? And I mean if she causes a big

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Speaker 2: stink the mother, then then your boyfriend's going to find out.

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Speaker 2: And just keep a calm, calm voice. You just said,

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Speaker 2: you're used to that social media stuff. Some people are

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Speaker 2: negative and others aren't. But I would confront her respectfully

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Speaker 2: and don't back down. Let her know.

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Speaker 1: You know well, and I wish I think luck. But

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Speaker 1: don't you think she first has to make sure that.

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Speaker 2: It yes, absolutely well she saw it. Well, you're gonna

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Speaker 2: have to ask.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you're going to have to ask, and get ready

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Speaker 1: buckle up because it might get a little okay.

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Speaker 2: Question number three This is from Carol from Tulsa, Hi,

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Speaker 2: Susan and Kathy. I'm a huge fan of the podcast.

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Speaker 2: I really love your thoughts, so fingers crossed you see this? Well,

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Speaker 2: guess why, Carol, we're staying it live. I'm getting married

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Speaker 2: in the year. My fiance and I are really two

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Speaker 2: peas in a pot, even when it comes to wedding planning,

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Speaker 2: which is such a blessing. So he's not my issue here.

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Speaker 2: The other day we had an engagement party. I'm not

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Speaker 2: sure how other people do their engagement celebrations, but all

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Speaker 2: the guests that were at our party are people that

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Speaker 2: we intend to invite to the wedding. Well, I would think, so. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: With that said, here is my issue. At a pure

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Speaker 2: kindness and cheerful tones, our friends we're talking about how

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Speaker 2: excited they were for our wedding and the vast majority

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Speaker 2: of the crowd agreed with all the points they made,

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Speaker 2: but everything they were excited for and anticipating, like literally

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Speaker 2: everything they think our wedding is going to be, will

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Speaker 2: be the exact opposite. Our wedding will be very traditional,

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Speaker 2: long ceremony, cake cutting, garter toss, bouquet toss, you name it,

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Speaker 2: We're doing it, even down to the music, the vibe.

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Speaker 2: Everything they think this day is going to be way

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Speaker 2: more fun. Question Mark, my friend spoke of the things

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Speaker 2: I plan on doing is boring and such. I know

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Speaker 2: I shouldn't care what other people think of my day,

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Speaker 2: but everyone thinks our wedding will be non traditional and

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Speaker 2: unique because they see me as someone that is very feminist,

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Speaker 2: very progressive, vibrant, and very outside the box. This has

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Speaker 2: made me question everything am I who my friends think

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Speaker 2: I am? Has wedding plan warped my sense of self.

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Speaker 2: My head is spinning and I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 2: It's such a weird and awkward position to be, and

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Speaker 2: I know I shouldn't care what people think, but it's

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Speaker 2: worrisome realizing all my most important closest guests are literally

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Speaker 2: set up for major disappointment. They are all very kind people.

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Speaker 2: They wouldn't say a thing. They wouldn't say the things

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Speaker 2: they did unless they were absolutely sure they were right.

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Speaker 2: What should I do? I just laughed and nodded along

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Speaker 2: to keep the mood of the daylight. But ever since

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Speaker 2: our party, I'm freaking out.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I am clearly over the hill. Sweet girl. Let

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Speaker 1: me say to you, this is your wedding day, Carol.

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Speaker 1: You and your fiance have decided what you want for

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Speaker 1: your day. I don't care if you bring a circus

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Speaker 1: to town for your wedding and have cupcakes. You do

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Speaker 1: what you want to do for your wedding and people

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Speaker 1: can get on board or not attend. Sweetie, I know

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Speaker 1: you're nervous. You probably got some stress going on with

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Speaker 1: wedding planning. But this is your day. It's a day

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Speaker 1: you want to remember for the rest of your life.

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Speaker 1: It should be exactly what you and your fiance want.

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Speaker 2: First of all, you're so so so lucky that he

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Speaker 2: likes doing this stuff and you guys both want this,

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Speaker 2: so have at it. If anything, if you're that worried

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Speaker 2: about it, throwing a little something like certain music or

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Speaker 2: something towards the end to get them partying or something.

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Speaker 2: But do you Kathy and I agree on this one.

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Speaker 2: This is three times we've agreed.

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Speaker 1: Well, we agreed until that last statement. No, I wouldn't

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Speaker 1: throw anything in to make the little people happy. It's

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Speaker 1: your day. You do exactly what you want. If you

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Speaker 1: want vanilla cake with chocolate frosting and everyone thinks you

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Speaker 1: should have a five layer vanilla cake, you do what

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Speaker 1: you want to do.

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Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with throwing a garter and cutting the cake.

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Speaker 2: That is a wedding tradition.

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Speaker 1: Well, but that's what they're saying. These people. The thing

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Speaker 1: I found interesting She says they think the day is

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Speaker 1: going they think this day is going to be way

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Speaker 1: more and then she writes dot dot dot fun like,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry, sweet Pea, Carol, this day is not going

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Speaker 1: to be fun. It's going to be fabulous. So if

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Speaker 1: you don't think it's going to be fabulous and you're

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Speaker 1: rethinking what you want, that's one thing. Don't let other

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Speaker 1: people determine your wedding.

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Speaker 2: And you're not spending a fortune to make them happy.

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Speaker 2: This is your day, and you enjoy it. And I

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Speaker 2: couldn't say it more. It's all about you.

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Speaker 1: And By the way, happy wedding, happy life. I hope

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Speaker 1: everything goes swimmingly at your wedding and just a lifetime

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Speaker 1: of happiness.

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Speaker 2: You rock girl. Thanks for writing.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we are going to try something a little different today.

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Speaker 1: We want to talk about a video that's a bit

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Speaker 1: of a hot topic right now. So Susan, this video

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Speaker 1: that's gone viral of the groom spraying his bride with champagne.

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Speaker 1: You know, you see that at wedding's a lot you

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Speaker 1: hold the bottle, shake it spray up. But he took

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Speaker 1: it to another level. He completely sprayed her her hair

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Speaker 1: right in her face.

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Speaker 2: What do you did you see the video? I watched

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Speaker 2: the video.

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Speaker 1: I saw it. What do you think?

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Speaker 2: There's two sides to this now, First of all, she

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Speaker 2: has to know who he is and made me expect

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Speaker 2: that she was laughing in this thing. She turned around,

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Speaker 2: she covered her face and turned around and was laughing

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Speaker 2: like crazy and probably think and I can't wait to

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Speaker 2: get them back. But if it were me, I'd be like, really, dude,

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Speaker 2: in my face, like come on, it's my wedding day.

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Speaker 2: I spent so much time making myself look good and

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Speaker 2: you're gonna spray my face. But when I watched it, Kathy,

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Speaker 2: I thought it was kind of funny and she was laughing.

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Speaker 2: So there's a lot of controversy out there right now.

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Speaker 1: People I don't know, don't We don't know them, right,

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Speaker 1: We don't know the couple. I mean people people say, well,

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Speaker 1: she knows what she's getting herself into. Yeah, I don't

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Speaker 1: think so. I mean, unless they have some kind of

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Speaker 1: weird fetish where Friday nights they open up a champagne

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Speaker 1: bottle and see what happens with it. I think that's

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Speaker 1: probably the first time that he ever had a champagne

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Speaker 1: bottle in his hand, shook it up and you know,

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Speaker 1: aimed it at her face. I think if that were

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Speaker 1: me when I watched it, I was thinking I'd be

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Speaker 1: laughing on the outside and.

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Speaker 2: Crying on and kill them.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, you know, for precisely what you said. The

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Speaker 1: wedding pictures, the the things that you take with you

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Speaker 1: that you go back and look at, and her hair

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Speaker 1: and the gown and in her face make up running.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I don't think it's funny. I don't think

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Speaker 1: the antics of you know, when I got married in

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Speaker 1: the dark ages, there was always a thing pushed the

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Speaker 1: cake into her face, and I had told my.

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Speaker 2: Husband it's something you talk about prime.

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Speaker 1: Which it's exactly what we did. We talked about it before.

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Speaker 1: I said, if you do that, it'll be the shortest

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Speaker 1: marriage on record. And I'm not kidding. I wouldn't. I

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Speaker 1: would have been very angry. Throwing champagne in her face

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Speaker 1: wasn't a thing when I got married, but I would

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Speaker 1: not like it.

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Speaker 2: I wish they would have continued the video after the

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Speaker 2: champagne was done and see how her reaction was. But

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Speaker 2: when I looked at it, it was kind of calm.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but remember there's a videographer there. Someone's exactly what

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Speaker 1: you're going to do. Start screaming. I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: think you know. There's the word decorum. Good taste never

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Speaker 1: goes out of style.

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Speaker 2: Away it did, continue Kathy, and then he goes over

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Speaker 2: with the bottle. Yeah, and she drinks from it, but.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, great, and she's already doused with the champagne. Also

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Speaker 1: gives her the bottle to let you know, but she

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Speaker 1: can't get him back because the phizz is gone.

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Speaker 2: So what It's a fun thing.

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Speaker 1: Okay, great at your wedding. I'm gonna I'm going to

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Speaker 1: watch your molcare making you like a raccoon, and I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna say it's all in funesn't hope you like it.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to kill you. Yeah, exactly. Well that was fun,

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Speaker 1: all right. I think we should switch it up a

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Speaker 1: little bit, and we have just enough time to play

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Speaker 1: a quick game.

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Speaker 2: All right, let me do it, kath, Let's do it.

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Speaker 1: This game is called deal Breakers. We're going to say

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Speaker 1: a sinner and then decide if each of us thinks

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Speaker 1: it's a deal breaker for a relationship. Okay, fair enough,

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Speaker 1: all right, here it goes. Is it a deal breaker?

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Speaker 1: You're about to move in with your partner he makes

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Speaker 1: triple your salary, Susan, but still wants to split the

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Speaker 1: bills fifty to fifty. Is this a deal breaker for you?

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Speaker 2: It's a concern, that's for sure. If he's making triple.

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Speaker 2: It depends on what she makes though maybe she makes

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Speaker 2: good money too, But it's worth a discussion. I don't

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Speaker 2: know about a deal breaker, but yeah, I would have

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Speaker 2: to sit down over this one.

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Speaker 1: So if his triple salary, if he's putting a lot

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Speaker 1: more into into maybe they have a joint savings account.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think The issue here is they're not married.

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Speaker 1: They don't have combined finances, and even if you're married,

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Speaker 1: they might not have combined finances. But I think it's

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Speaker 1: not a deal breaker necessarily. But I think your point

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Speaker 1: it speaks loudly too. Is he moving in because he

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Speaker 1: loves you? Or is he looking to cut his cost

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Speaker 1: of living?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Right, that that would be a deal breaker right there.

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Speaker 2: But hopefully he's saving for their home or honey, let's

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Speaker 2: do fifty to fifty and I'll bank everything so we

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Speaker 2: can buy a house. I mean, we don't know enough.

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Speaker 1: I don't think exactly. It's a little bit that we

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Speaker 1: don't know. However, they're not married, because it says partner,

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Speaker 1: and maybe it's just gonna be a long term relationship.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't like it. Yeah, I want

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Speaker 1: to live with.

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Speaker 2: The guy who's not going to pay off that much.

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Speaker 1: If that's not we want to live with the guy

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Speaker 1: who's going to.

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Speaker 2: Pay at all, those days are long gone. All right,

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Speaker 2: Your new partner hasn't posted you on any of their

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Speaker 2: social media yet, and you've been together for six months.

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Speaker 2: When you bring it up, he says, I just don't

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Speaker 2: really post anything. Is that a deal breaker.

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Speaker 1: Well, I have to tell you. I have a friend

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Speaker 1: that this happened to, and he was posting he's cheating

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Speaker 1: on her. He's posting, Yeah, he's stating on her. Glad

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Speaker 1: he's posting pictures of him with other girls. She said, oh,

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Speaker 1: those were old girlfriends. I'm looking like, really, I got

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Speaker 1: a wooden nickel. I want to sell you.

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Speaker 2: I mean, well, you should know if he does do post.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if he doesn't really post on social media,

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Speaker 2: that is understandable. But yeah, I would question it.

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Speaker 1: I would definitely wait a minute, if he doesn't post

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Speaker 1: at all, you would question that.

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Speaker 2: I mean, if he's not a guy that posts all

433
00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:38,640
Speaker 2: the time, that's why he's not posting.

434
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,879
Speaker 1: I would think, So why is that? Why would you

435
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:42,879
Speaker 1: question that? If the guy doesn't.

436
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,440
Speaker 2: Know if he if he doesn't post, then you're good.

437
00:25:46,840 --> 00:25:50,199
Speaker 2: But if he posts a lot of times and just

438
00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:53,160
Speaker 2: hasn't post about them, then yes.

439
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: Yeah that's the problem. But this one, she says, he

440
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,520
Speaker 1: doesn't post. So if he doesn't post, he doesn't post,

441
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,359
Speaker 1: it's like saying, you know he doesn't smoke cigarettes. Is

442
00:26:02,359 --> 00:26:05,400
Speaker 1: it a deal breaker? No? I mean whatever, he's got

443
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,199
Speaker 1: to do it, all right, here's the last one. That

444
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,000
Speaker 1: was an easy one. I loved it. We're a green

445
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:10,440
Speaker 1: so much.

446
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 2: Don't you know what is happening?

447
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 1: All right? You see a text conversation between your partner

448
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 1: and their friend that has a history of making you

449
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:25,960
Speaker 1: feel uncomfortable in the conversation. You see your partner sent

450
00:26:26,119 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 1: a red heart when he thanked her for paying for

451
00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: his beer when they were out with some other friends.

452
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:33,359
Speaker 1: Is this a deal breaker?

453
00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:37,639
Speaker 2: Oh god, I mean, you gotta know more.

454
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:38,919
Speaker 1: These are.

455
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,680
Speaker 2: I put hearts after after everybody.

456
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:49,159
Speaker 1: I heard everybody about everything. I mean, if in the

457
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:52,760
Speaker 1: text conversation, if there's a phone number and call me

458
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:56,280
Speaker 1: after six, I'll be home. Night was great. I can't

459
00:26:56,280 --> 00:27:00,480
Speaker 1: wait to see you. Then you can worry. But to that,

460
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 1: I mean, I love you, Thanks for buying me a beer.

461
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,640
Speaker 1: It's it's harmless. I think you know what I do.

462
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 1: Think though, this brings up an interesting uh issue. This

463
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 1: generation has been raised and on social media. That's how

464
00:27:18,880 --> 00:27:23,359
Speaker 1: they connect, that's how they discuss. They don't have what

465
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: we would call verbal as much verbal interactions, and so

466
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 1: people there's no there's no feeling with with the text message. Right,

467
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:36,199
Speaker 1: So instead of saying I love you, Susan, thanks for

468
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: buying me a beer. It's just a free heart. It's

469
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: a red heart, you know, It's nothing more, nothing less.

470
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,159
Speaker 1: And I think that's one of the dangers of social media.

471
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you and texting even you know, that's whats

472
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,000
Speaker 2: That's exactly right.

473
00:27:53,600 --> 00:27:56,760
Speaker 1: Actually, we do have time for one more quick one. Here.

474
00:27:57,440 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: Your partner reveals that they have a significant amount of

475
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:06,400
Speaker 1: debt that they have not previously mentioned. They assure you

476
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 1: they have a plan to pay it off, but it

477
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,440
Speaker 1: will take several years. Is this a deal breaker?

478
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:17,200
Speaker 2: How big is that debt? And can he afford to

479
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 2: do what we're doing as well as payoff his debt?

480
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 1: Well? Ane years? So I don't think. I don't think

481
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:27,320
Speaker 1: it's an extra bag of groceries we're talking about here, man.

482
00:28:27,680 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know if it's a deal breaker,

483
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:31,040
Speaker 2: but man, i'd be a little annoyed.

484
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:35,080
Speaker 1: I'd be more than annoyed if it's my partner. This

485
00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:38,920
Speaker 1: person did not say boyfriend or girlfriend, said partner, which

486
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 1: tells me they've been together longer than ten minutes. If

487
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: I've been with someone and for some amount of time

488
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:52,440
Speaker 1: that I'm calling them my partner, then I would assume

489
00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 1: that I would know if they'd previously been married, if

490
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:01,680
Speaker 1: they'd been arrested, and if they have a significant debt

491
00:29:01,760 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: to be paid off that will take several years. I

492
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:06,000
Speaker 1: get to say, for me, that might be a deal breaker.

493
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:07,040
Speaker 1: It could be.

494
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 2: It could be depends on how I need a little

495
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,680
Speaker 2: bit more information. Yeah, I would think I would need

496
00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 2: to know a little more as well. But it truly

497
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,160
Speaker 2: is a conversation.

498
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,120
Speaker 1: Well, and think about it. I don't know the law,

499
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 1: but I don't want to take on someone's.

500
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:24,400
Speaker 2: Say exactly, you get married and boom, that's your debt.

501
00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,120
Speaker 1: Then well then it's called a pre nup.

502
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:27,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess so.

503
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 1: I mean it's very complicated, doesn't it does?

504
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 2: The good old days, Yeah, we are worried about that ship.

505
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 1: There was no ship had one checking account, you know,

506
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 1: although Kathy for a month and money.

507
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,200
Speaker 2: How many people that get married today have their debt

508
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 2: from college? I mean there's tons of college loans and

509
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:51,600
Speaker 2: people have to pay it off, right, Maybe that's what

510
00:29:51,800 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 2: it is. Is it a gambling debt?

511
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 1: Is it? You know? I don't know what it is. Yeah, yeah,

512
00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,800
Speaker 1: well I'm not concerned about what what the debt is

513
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,920
Speaker 1: as I am that he or she has.

514
00:30:04,880 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 2: Not known about it.

515
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, has not told the other person about it. Takes

516
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: time and I you know, Oh, they're gonna hold that.

517
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 1: What else are they hold.

518
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 2: In surprise right before we do this? Yeah? By the way,

519
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 2: I owe one hundred and six thousand.

520
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: Dollars Susan, susany you my good friend?

521
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:22,080
Speaker 2: Yes, I am.

522
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 1: Can I borrow a couple hundred thousand? I got I

523
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:26,200
Speaker 1: got some serious debt to pay on.

524
00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 2: I just paid my debt off yesterday. I was happy.

525
00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 1: That means you can now have a partner. You can

526
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: pass go collect two hundred dollars. You're not going to

527
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 1: debt free America. Yeah, give her ten minutes. She'll be shocking.

528
00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:45,040
Speaker 2: I've remember he used my card like three times. Oh goodness,

529
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 2: that was great, Kat, that was fun. And that's all

530
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 2: for today's episode of Golden Hour. Thank you so much

531
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 2: for joining us.

532
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:56,600
Speaker 1: Yes, thank you all so much. Be sure to follow us.

533
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: We have new episodes coming out every week that you

534
00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 1: want don't want to miss.

535
00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:04,680
Speaker 2: And make sure to send us those questions like we

536
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,000
Speaker 2: just did. We're going to talk about each and every

537
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 2: one of them. Sometimes we dissect them, sometimes we don't,

538
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,760
Speaker 2: and we have lots of lots of time to answer

539
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 2: your question, so head to bachelornation dot com slash Golden

540
00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 2: Hour and submit them.

541
00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 1: We can't wait for the next episode. Listen to Bachelor

542
00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 1: Happy Hours Golden Hour on the iHeartRadio app or wherever

543
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 1: you get your podcasts. Have a great week, see you

544
00:31:33,120 --> 00:31:33,600
Speaker 1: next week.