WEBVTT - “I WATCH MY EX ON ONLYFANS”

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, what's up man? How you doing?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm great? How are you? This is crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>We've never spoken before?

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<v Speaker 2>Have we?

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<v Speaker 1>Have we ever talked?

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<v Speaker 2>No, we have not.

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<v Speaker 1>What's your name?

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<v Speaker 3>My name is Pete, Pete.

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<v Speaker 1>How am I I'm doing? I'm actually doing really well

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<v Speaker 1>right now.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I've noticed that like life is, at least for me,

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<v Speaker 1>very cyclical.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh huh.

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<v Speaker 1>You know, I'll have periods of time in which I'll

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<v Speaker 1>be like really just going insane, but uh, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>Over the past week, I've been feeling very stable. I've

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<v Speaker 1>made a few changes that have been helpful. I've been

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<v Speaker 1>embracing the life that I'm already living instead of fantasizing

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<v Speaker 1>about some other version of myself that exists. I've been

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<v Speaker 1>not binge, eating fucking Ben and Jerry's every day. I've

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<v Speaker 1>been uh, you know, I've been not going on. Uh,

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<v Speaker 1>I've been watching less porn.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I've been Yeah. Yeah, things are good right now.

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<v Speaker 1>I've experienced this before, though, and I've made the mistake

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<v Speaker 1>of being like, well, great, Everything's gonna be amazing forever.

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<v Speaker 1>But also, you know, I've been downtrodden before, and I've

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<v Speaker 1>made I've thought I was going to I just thought

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<v Speaker 1>I was gonna die, so I am trying. I think,

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<v Speaker 1>I think, uh, you know the caller I've done whatever

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<v Speaker 1>podcast to Go who said that life is kind of

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<v Speaker 1>like a spiral, and you start in the middle and

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<v Speaker 1>you spiral outwards like that was one of the most

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<v Speaker 1>genius things I've ever heard, because it makes sense because

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<v Speaker 1>I'm repeating. I see myself lifetime repeating cycles. I'm almost

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<v Speaker 1>twenty eight, and I can look back at my life

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<v Speaker 1>and I could see a lot of cycles and like

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<v Speaker 1>read journals from when I was younger, and they repeat.

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<v Speaker 1>But with every repetition of the cycle, I get a

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<v Speaker 1>little bit of progress outward, even though I'm still in

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<v Speaker 1>the cycle. You know what I mean. It's hard to

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<v Speaker 1>learn a lesson once and for all. In anything that

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<v Speaker 1>I do. There's so many lessons I have to learn

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<v Speaker 1>over and fucking over again, Like weed is one of them.

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<v Speaker 1>Like last night, what's you Pete. I've done this, Pete.

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<v Speaker 1>I've done this a hundred times, more than one hundred times, Pete,

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<v Speaker 1>and I never learned. I go, oh, oh, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I have this thing to edit. This is like a

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<v Speaker 1>low effort task. I know. Let me get stoned before

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<v Speaker 1>I do it, then it'll be easy.

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<v Speaker 2>Literally the story of my life the past two weeks through.

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<v Speaker 1>And then and then I get stoned, and then I'm like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I can't do anything. And then the next day I go,

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<v Speaker 1>this task seems easy. I bet if I got stoned,

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<v Speaker 1>it would be different this time, Pete, It's never different.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the same every time. No, it's never different.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why I don't. I don't know why

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<v Speaker 1>I don't learn my lessons. I don't. I learn them

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit, I think, but I just feel like

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<v Speaker 1>I just feel like I learned my lessons yet through

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<v Speaker 1>through the spiral technique, I'm definitely smarter, like like if

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<v Speaker 1>we're if we're zooming out, if we're going twenty one

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<v Speaker 1>to twenty eight, I'm definitely smarter, more mature, I have

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<v Speaker 1>a better head on my shoulders, learned a lot of lessons,

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<v Speaker 1>But I still I don't I'm not like I thought

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<v Speaker 1>I would have mastered every problem and done everything like

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<v Speaker 1>I thought I would be completely amazing by now with

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<v Speaker 1>like learning those lessons. But I don't know. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know if that's I don't know. Do you feel that way?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you do you learn your lessons?

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<v Speaker 2>You know, I tried to. I tried to you, but

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<v Speaker 2>I think I'm in the same boat as you because

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<v Speaker 2>I just I always feel like I can, like I

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<v Speaker 2>feel like it's gonna be like way better. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>if I'm gonna, I'm gonna smoke before I do this,

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<v Speaker 2>and then I just doesn't and then I keep on

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<v Speaker 2>doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know, Pete, Pete, is there a Is there

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<v Speaker 1>something specific you called in to want to talk about today?

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<v Speaker 2>You know it is not really mm hmm. I just

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<v Speaker 2>I never thought that you would pick up. Uh, It's

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<v Speaker 2>like I just thought you were streaming and I thought

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<v Speaker 2>i'd call.

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<v Speaker 1>What's your life like, Pete? What do you do every day?

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<v Speaker 2>What do I do? I'm I'm work as a janitor

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<v Speaker 2>at a high school.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh interesting, yeah, and that's yeah, how long you've been

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<v Speaker 1>doing that?

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<v Speaker 2>I've been doing that for like a year and a half.

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<v Speaker 1>Now are you do you clean it during the day

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<v Speaker 1>when the kids are there, or like at night?

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<v Speaker 2>So it's like right after school, okay, the kids are gone, yeah, all.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, but there are probably there's some kids running around

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<v Speaker 1>doing after school activities like playing school and just random stuff.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeh.

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<v Speaker 1>Do they ever interact with you?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? Sometimes, because you know, I I just got out

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<v Speaker 2>of high school last year, and so I know somewhat

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<v Speaker 2>some people there.

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<v Speaker 1>Interesting kinds people talk to me. So you're yes, you probably, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you probably know people who go to the school.

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<v Speaker 2>Still I do.

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<v Speaker 1>I do, Okay, it's interesting. And are you like friends

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<v Speaker 1>with any of these people.

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<v Speaker 2>You know? Not really? I just some of them random

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<v Speaker 2>people like friends and my ex girlfriend or like friends

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<v Speaker 2>with my little brother or something. Mm hmm. Yeah, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't know, not really. I don't think I really have

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<v Speaker 2>that many people I know that are still in high school,

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<v Speaker 2>like as close friends.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you do while you're cleaning the school? Do

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<v Speaker 1>you listen to anything? Do you put on music?

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<v Speaker 2>I listen to your podcast every day. Hell yeah, and

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<v Speaker 2>I listened to music and I also I've also been

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<v Speaker 2>listening to Channel five pretty good.

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<v Speaker 1>So you've been in this for a year. Yes, What

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<v Speaker 1>else is going on in your life?

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<v Speaker 2>I have an internship right now. It's for what I

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<v Speaker 2>want to do. Basically, it's my main career, like setting

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<v Speaker 2>a live sound. It's live audio stuff. Oh, I love

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<v Speaker 2>live sounds, live music. I went to there's a separate

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<v Speaker 2>school in my dates school district that likes for like

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<v Speaker 2>hands on learning. I did a bunch of audioce stuff,

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<v Speaker 2>did a bunch of battles of bands, shit, and I

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<v Speaker 2>came out of it with an internship, which I love

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<v Speaker 2>so much better than the shanitor job, and I get

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<v Speaker 2>paid better. But it's just I work randomly.

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<v Speaker 1>So this is like doing audio for live events and shit.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah, oh that's cool. That's a good gig.

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<v Speaker 2>I love it so much.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's a great gig. Do you go to a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of concerts.

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<v Speaker 2>I go to a shit telling concert.

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<v Speaker 1>That's sick. That's really cool. Oh oh yeah, I love

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<v Speaker 1>that for you, that's great. You can travel with that,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. Also, like you know what's cool is like

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<v Speaker 1>I'm always thinking about and I'm not a authority on

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<v Speaker 1>this subject, but I'm I'm like, I think a lot

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<v Speaker 1>about like what the job market is going to be

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<v Speaker 1>moving forward, especially with like AI and just like the

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<v Speaker 1>rapid exponential evolution of our society. And it's funny because

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<v Speaker 1>like live events seem to be still going fucking strong.

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<v Speaker 1>You would think that like Zuckerberg won by now successfully

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<v Speaker 1>getting us to all stay inside of our houses and

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<v Speaker 1>like use his ship infinitely. But people are going out

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<v Speaker 1>to live, people are still going out to concerts. People

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<v Speaker 1>are still like like like goth subculture like shit that

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<v Speaker 1>like was popular in the seventies and eighties is still going.

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<v Speaker 1>Like we're still going. It's cool, you know. I think.

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<v Speaker 1>I think, I think ideally, like in an ideal universe,

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<v Speaker 1>that stuff even like even in the face of whatever

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<v Speaker 1>AI and the expansion of our universe, I could it it. Uh,

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<v Speaker 1>it's it grows in a backlash to like, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>society's desire for us to just stay in our houses

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<v Speaker 1>and do fucking nothing.

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<v Speaker 2>Yep.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's cool.

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<v Speaker 2>I like that.

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<v Speaker 1>That's a good industry. Do you play music?

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<v Speaker 2>I do somewhat. I play the guitar and I to

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<v Speaker 2>the bass guitar kind of and me and my friends

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<v Speaker 2>play sometimes do covers, random covers and post them on Instagram.

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<v Speaker 1>But like, oh and that's crazy, you know, No, that's great.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys ever gig.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we we tried to plan this house show once

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<v Speaker 2>but it fell through, and I really want to do

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<v Speaker 2>it because that would just be so fun. I love

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<v Speaker 2>that kind of stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, well why did it fall through?

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<v Speaker 2>I have I don't even know, so we there's these

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<v Speaker 2>these girls that we were going to do it with,

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<v Speaker 2>and I like made a group chat for it. I

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<v Speaker 2>was like, we should do a show at someone's house

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<v Speaker 2>for sure. And then I kept on texting about it,

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<v Speaker 2>and then people would respond, and then I would ask

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<v Speaker 2>questions and no one would and then everybody just stopped responding.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, now you live with your parents.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I live with my parents.

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<v Speaker 1>Where were you going to do the house show?

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<v Speaker 2>My friend's house? So one of my friends that plays

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<v Speaker 2>with us, he was going to give us the house.

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<v Speaker 1>For it, and he just stopped responding.

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<v Speaker 2>Everybody else except for him.

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<v Speaker 1>Wait, why do you need Who are these girls? Why

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<v Speaker 1>do you need them?

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<v Speaker 2>Because it's just like we were. If I don't know, honestly,

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<v Speaker 2>holy shit, you might be onto something.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, you need the guy who has the house.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the only guy you like really.

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<v Speaker 2>Need, that's true.

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<v Speaker 1>Why don't know, why why did you need these girls

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<v Speaker 1>to respond?

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<v Speaker 4>Like?

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<v Speaker 1>What do they do?

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<v Speaker 2>They're just they sing and they're really good, and they

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<v Speaker 2>would just I don't know, maybe I don't need them,

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<v Speaker 2>but I mean, yeah, technically yes, but I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess we wanted more people than just us to

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<v Speaker 2>play be playing music.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, you can probably find more people that aren't you

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<v Speaker 1>guys to play music.

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<v Speaker 2>That's true. I do have a lot of friends that

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<v Speaker 2>play instruments.

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<v Speaker 1>So yeah, put on the house show. That sounds awesome.

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<v Speaker 2>You know I should. This feels crazy, Brom, I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just like nerding out right now. This is kind

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<v Speaker 2>of crazy.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm nerding out.

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<v Speaker 2>I never thought I never I never thought I'd be

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<v Speaker 2>talking about audio to the get go himself.

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<v Speaker 1>I love the like d a y house show ship.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that's so cool. You should do it.

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<v Speaker 2>I will definitely try.

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<v Speaker 1>Let me know how it goes. Yeah, don't don't delay

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<v Speaker 1>it because the other people in the group chat aren't responding.

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<v Speaker 1>That's one that's one of the tough That's one of

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<v Speaker 1>the tough things about life in general, from like a

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<v Speaker 1>macro perspective, is that, uh, and I've done this in

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<v Speaker 1>my life. You try to set yourself up so that

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<v Speaker 1>you need other people as little as humanly possible mm hmm,

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<v Speaker 1>and then somewhere down the line you realize that at

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<v Speaker 1>some point you do need other people, and it's like

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<v Speaker 1>a ying yang. Yeah you need this guy who has

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<v Speaker 1>the house, but you don't need these two girls so

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<v Speaker 1>you can find other people to sing. Hell, yeah, what

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<v Speaker 1>kind of music do you? S?

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<v Speaker 3>All?

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<v Speaker 2>Right?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you play?

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<v Speaker 2>What kind of music do I play?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

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<v Speaker 2>We we just we just do random like covers, like

0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:37.880
<v Speaker 2>just bands we like.

0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:41.000
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, give me like what covers?

0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:45.400
<v Speaker 2>Let me think we did like a few Ritters cover

0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:53.800
<v Speaker 2>cool and a big Thief and like Mazzie Star cool.

0:13:54.200 --> 0:13:57.520
<v Speaker 2>A bunch of random a bunch of random bands.

0:13:57.640 --> 0:13:59.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what city is this? What city are you in?

0:14:01.240 --> 0:14:03.199
<v Speaker 2>I am in Salt Lake City, Utah.

0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:12.599
<v Speaker 1>Ooh, there must be so much teen angst at DIY

0:14:12.720 --> 0:14:19.080
<v Speaker 1>shows in Salt Lake City, Utah. Yeah, that's gotta be

0:14:19.200 --> 0:14:24.000
<v Speaker 1>one of the Yeah, that must be. That must be

0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:29.480
<v Speaker 1>like the capital of teen angst, right because yeah, because

0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:34.040
<v Speaker 1>everyone there is Mormon and so uh and nothing produces

0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:37.480
<v Speaker 1>teen angst more than overtly religious parents.

0:14:38.120 --> 0:14:39.880
<v Speaker 2>Oh, tell me about it, Tell me about it.

0:14:41.240 --> 0:14:43.040
<v Speaker 1>I've done a couple of shows in Salt Lake City,

0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:47.160
<v Speaker 1>and every time I just it's always stories from people

0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:50.560
<v Speaker 1>about their insane Mormon parents. I've probably mentioned this before,

0:14:50.600 --> 0:14:52.080
<v Speaker 1>but like the last time I was in Salt Lake City,

0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:55.400
<v Speaker 1>this guy told me a story about how his dad,

0:14:55.960 --> 0:14:58.680
<v Speaker 1>when he was a kid made him like kill a

0:14:58.880 --> 0:15:06.000
<v Speaker 1>hundred rabbits, yes, what and prepare them for like their

0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:09.080
<v Speaker 1>doomsday bunker, because apparently the Mormons are like preparing.

0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:12.280
<v Speaker 2>For Oh dude, I'm looking at I'm looking at my

0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:14.480
<v Speaker 2>bed frame right now. Under it is all of our

0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:15.800
<v Speaker 2>food storage boxes.

0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:17.880
<v Speaker 1>So what are you Mormon?

0:15:19.000 --> 0:15:19.200
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:25.520
<v Speaker 1>My parents are fucking yeah? Okay, everyone, fucking everyone? Do

0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:27.680
<v Speaker 1>you are your parents? Are you are your parents crazy?

0:15:29.040 --> 0:15:32.160
<v Speaker 2>M M So it's just my mom and my stepdad.

0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:38.920
<v Speaker 2>There are are more, but it's they're not really. I mean, honestly,

0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:45.240
<v Speaker 2>my stepdad just got like three massive like generators that

0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:49.120
<v Speaker 2>can power our house for like two days NonStop for

0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:54.160
<v Speaker 2>a birthday present from his mom. So maybe they are

0:15:54.200 --> 0:15:58.320
<v Speaker 2>secretly crazy, but they're not like crazy crazy like I've

0:15:58.320 --> 0:16:01.480
<v Speaker 2>heard worse stories like crazy.

0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I don't mean to be derogatory, by the way,

0:16:04.440 --> 0:16:06.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't think I'm not I don't like, I don't

0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:10.040
<v Speaker 1>think that being Mormon automatically makes you crazy.

0:16:10.600 --> 0:16:13.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah I could not care less.

0:16:13.080 --> 0:16:15.720
<v Speaker 1>So yeah, I don't think any. I mean, you know,

0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:18.720
<v Speaker 1>my family's Jewish. They're fucking crazy, but they're not like

0:16:19.400 --> 0:16:21.040
<v Speaker 1>they're not like they would they wouldn't make me murder

0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.880
<v Speaker 1>a hundred rabbits kind of crazy, like like they're crazy.

0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:25.960
<v Speaker 1>The crazy this is that everyone's family is like a

0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:26.840
<v Speaker 1>little fucking crazy.

0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:27.200
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:32.280
<v Speaker 1>So you so your parents are cool, your famili's like

0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:36.200
<v Speaker 1>they're not like you don't have like a you don't

0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:42.400
<v Speaker 1>have like a traumatic religious upbringing or anything. No, really, Okay,

0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:46.000
<v Speaker 1>you know that's good. Yeah, it's good. It's good. But

0:16:46.840 --> 0:16:50.560
<v Speaker 1>what I am saying, I'm not saying that being Mormon

0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:53.560
<v Speaker 1>automatically means that you have a traumatic religious upbringing. What

0:16:53.600 --> 0:17:00.440
<v Speaker 1>I am saying is that you are unquestionably surrounded by

0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:04.879
<v Speaker 1>a lot of young people who did have traumatic relationship

0:17:04.960 --> 0:17:10.920
<v Speaker 1>ringings that would love to come to your EMO DIY show,

0:17:10.960 --> 0:17:11.880
<v Speaker 1>and so you should do it.

0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:19.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, my my my old plug for what Weed is

0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:21.520
<v Speaker 2>going on his mission in a couple of weeks, So

0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:24.159
<v Speaker 2>there's a lot of crazy people.

0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:27.800
<v Speaker 1>Do you think he's going to sell weed on the mission?

0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.120
<v Speaker 2>You know, I'd be pretty dope. I'm not gonna lie.

0:17:32.240 --> 0:17:33.920
<v Speaker 2>I would love to hear about that if he does.

0:17:34.440 --> 0:17:35.639
<v Speaker 1>Where's he going on the mission?

0:17:36.640 --> 0:17:40.600
<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to remember it's somewhere out of the US, though,

0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:45.880
<v Speaker 2>I think it's like Spain or something. I think it's

0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:46.160
<v Speaker 2>a Spain.

0:17:47.760 --> 0:17:54.520
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, although, like okay, like when you go on mission, right,

0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:59.800
<v Speaker 1>you go to like a poorer place, and you offer

0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:04.880
<v Speaker 1>food and water and all these things, and also, hey

0:18:04.960 --> 0:18:07.639
<v Speaker 1>here if you want to also while you're eating the food,

0:18:07.720 --> 0:18:11.720
<v Speaker 1>learn about our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. Kind of

0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:16.280
<v Speaker 1>a thing, right, I mean yeah, yeah, So I don't

0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:19.480
<v Speaker 1>I feel like marijuana would be a good addition to

0:18:20.119 --> 0:18:23.679
<v Speaker 1>a mission in terms of like what you're providing to people.

0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:28.919
<v Speaker 2>Honestly, Yeah, it could help you out. Mm hmm. You

0:18:28.960 --> 0:18:34.240
<v Speaker 2>could start like a crazy like besh with like someone

0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:38.200
<v Speaker 2>you're about to like baptize or something. Yeah.

0:18:38.800 --> 0:18:40.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, a good way to open someone's mind to the

0:18:40.920 --> 0:18:42.880
<v Speaker 1>to the to God. Do you believe? Are you really?

0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:46.280
<v Speaker 1>Do you believe in God? Did you take after your So?

0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:50.040
<v Speaker 2>No, that's I have this debate a lot with like

0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:53.240
<v Speaker 2>my I mean, I guess it's be some out with

0:18:53.280 --> 0:18:57.040
<v Speaker 2>my friends. I don't really believe. I'd love for there

0:18:57.119 --> 0:19:04.240
<v Speaker 2>to be like a God, but I don't feel like

0:19:04.560 --> 0:19:05.840
<v Speaker 2>there is. I don't know.

0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:08.920
<v Speaker 1>Your boy who's gone on mission, is he believe in God?

0:19:10.080 --> 0:19:14.280
<v Speaker 2>He probably does, I would assume, So.

0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:18.399
<v Speaker 1>Are your do your parents care whether or not you

0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:19.480
<v Speaker 1>believe in God?

0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:23.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, my mom for sure, but not my dad.

0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:28.320
<v Speaker 1>M Okay, so your parents are like chill Mormons.

0:19:28.800 --> 0:19:32.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so well yeah, so my my parents are divorced.

0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:34.520
<v Speaker 2>So my parents are divorced with my my dad is

0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:40.840
<v Speaker 2>way more show mm hmm, like about like religious stuff

0:19:40.880 --> 0:19:44.000
<v Speaker 2>like that. I guess like he's a more open minded

0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:45.000
<v Speaker 2>person for sure.

0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:50.119
<v Speaker 1>Does he still practice in some sense?

0:19:50.800 --> 0:19:54.520
<v Speaker 2>No, so my dad's not religious. That's yeah, they're not.

0:19:54.800 --> 0:19:56.120
<v Speaker 2>He's not religious anymore.

0:19:56.520 --> 0:20:01.600
<v Speaker 1>So are they remarried or have like boyfriend's girlfriends?

0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:06.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he he has. Ah, my dad has a girlfriend. Yeah.

0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:07.919
<v Speaker 1>And is she is she a Mormon?

0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:12.399
<v Speaker 2>No? She is not. M hmm okay she used to

0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:16.080
<v Speaker 2>be majority other people used to be.

0:20:17.160 --> 0:20:18.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. If he got married to a late it's not

0:20:18.800 --> 0:20:21.160
<v Speaker 1>a Mormon. And he was already not really that Mormon.

0:20:21.200 --> 0:20:22.720
<v Speaker 1>It sounds like it's over for him.

0:20:23.480 --> 0:20:27.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I've been meaning to have like a conversation about

0:20:27.040 --> 0:20:30.159
<v Speaker 2>that with him, but I definitely should.

0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:32.840
<v Speaker 1>And what about your mom? Is she seeing anyone?

0:20:33.920 --> 0:20:38.160
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Yeah, my mom's remarried Mormon guy.

0:20:38.320 --> 0:20:40.800
<v Speaker 1>Yep, very Mormon guy.

0:20:42.200 --> 0:20:45.560
<v Speaker 2>Pretty morn Yeah good? Oh yeah good?

0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:53.159
<v Speaker 1>Your your family, you we have kind of analogous family

0:20:53.200 --> 0:21:00.199
<v Speaker 1>situations actually in a way. Yeah, yeah, like my uh

0:21:01.640 --> 0:21:05.639
<v Speaker 1>my mom much more into Judaism than my dad. But

0:21:05.720 --> 0:21:07.359
<v Speaker 1>you know it's still my dad's still Jewish. And shit,

0:21:07.520 --> 0:21:11.600
<v Speaker 1>you know they got divorced. Dad married a non Jewish woman.

0:21:12.240 --> 0:21:16.480
<v Speaker 1>Mom married a guy who's much more into Judaism. And

0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:18.760
<v Speaker 1>I look at that, and I'm like, that's good, right,

0:21:19.080 --> 0:21:24.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, that's important stuff religion when it comes to marriage.

0:21:24.080 --> 0:21:25.440
<v Speaker 1>Does your mom? Does your mom seem happy?

0:21:26.480 --> 0:21:28.879
<v Speaker 2>Oh? Yeah, super?

0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:31.119
<v Speaker 1>Your dad seems happy?

0:21:32.040 --> 0:21:35.359
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, my dad's pretty happy. I would yeah, i'd say.

0:21:35.400 --> 0:21:36.720
<v Speaker 1>So you have siblings.

0:21:38.040 --> 0:21:39.359
<v Speaker 2>I do have siblings.

0:21:39.640 --> 0:21:40.280
<v Speaker 1>How they doing?

0:21:41.760 --> 0:21:44.240
<v Speaker 2>They're pretty good? I have so I have three like

0:21:46.080 --> 0:21:50.480
<v Speaker 2>brothers blood like blood siblings, which are just three brothers? No,

0:21:50.560 --> 0:21:57.000
<v Speaker 2>I have like, let's see, like five or six step siblings.

0:21:57.720 --> 0:21:58.359
<v Speaker 1>Oh holy shit?

0:21:59.440 --> 0:22:03.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:22:03.560 --> 0:22:04.840
<v Speaker 1>And where do you do you live with your mom

0:22:04.920 --> 0:22:05.719
<v Speaker 1>or your dad?

0:22:06.440 --> 0:22:09.240
<v Speaker 2>I live with my mom.

0:22:09.320 --> 0:22:13.280
<v Speaker 1>And are you like, when did you graduate high school? Well?

0:22:13.280 --> 0:22:15.800
<v Speaker 1>Hold on, it's it's October.

0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:18.920
<v Speaker 2>This year, this year, actually in July in May.

0:22:19.040 --> 0:22:20.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh, shukay, Is you just graduated?

0:22:21.520 --> 0:22:21.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:26.880
<v Speaker 1>Okay? And are you like, are you like I need

0:22:26.920 --> 0:22:29.399
<v Speaker 1>to get out of Salt Lake City and leave my

0:22:29.480 --> 0:22:32.600
<v Speaker 1>mom's house right fucking now? Or are you like chilling?

0:22:34.080 --> 0:22:39.200
<v Speaker 2>You know, I really want to That's so I've been

0:22:39.240 --> 0:22:41.520
<v Speaker 2>saving up a bunch of money for like when I

0:22:41.640 --> 0:22:46.199
<v Speaker 2>move out. Nice, And so I'm going to Utah Valley

0:22:46.640 --> 0:22:53.639
<v Speaker 2>University next semester spring semester. Nice, And I've been saving

0:22:53.680 --> 0:22:55.560
<v Speaker 2>up money so I could like find a place out

0:22:55.600 --> 0:22:57.800
<v Speaker 2>there and be able to pay for rent for a

0:22:57.840 --> 0:23:00.800
<v Speaker 2>couple of months and then find a job out there

0:23:01.160 --> 0:23:09.960
<v Speaker 2>in like oorum. And then my car broke and I

0:23:10.000 --> 0:23:12.920
<v Speaker 2>had to use all of my money for savings. I'll

0:23:12.960 --> 0:23:13.879
<v Speaker 2>fix that car.

0:23:14.760 --> 0:23:16.560
<v Speaker 1>Fuck, I'm sorry, man. How much was that?

0:23:16.760 --> 0:23:21.159
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, fourteen hundred bucks. They're like no, it was like

0:23:22.160 --> 0:23:25.200
<v Speaker 2>two grand or something. I don't remember. It was like, correct,

0:23:25.320 --> 0:23:29.920
<v Speaker 2>that's all of my money's gone, which was like about

0:23:29.960 --> 0:23:32.920
<v Speaker 2>to pay for like two months. And then so those

0:23:32.960 --> 0:23:35.280
<v Speaker 2>plans are changed. Now I'm gonna have to live here

0:23:35.320 --> 0:23:40.120
<v Speaker 2>for another like six months extra or something.

0:23:42.320 --> 0:23:45.639
<v Speaker 1>And you're going to Utah Valley for way? Is uta in?

0:23:45.960 --> 0:23:48.359
<v Speaker 1>Is Is that in? This might be a dumb question.

0:23:48.520 --> 0:23:49.760
<v Speaker 1>Is that in Salt Lake City?

0:23:50.760 --> 0:23:54.479
<v Speaker 2>No, that's in. It's like an it's like forty five

0:23:54.520 --> 0:23:57.120
<v Speaker 2>minutes away. Forty five minutes and.

0:23:57.040 --> 0:24:00.280
<v Speaker 1>You're gonna go for audio and yeah that's the okay,

0:24:00.280 --> 0:24:01.680
<v Speaker 1>So it's just like a this is like a non

0:24:01.720 --> 0:24:04.800
<v Speaker 1>traditional university, right Like, so you go, you get your

0:24:04.800 --> 0:24:07.359
<v Speaker 1>own off campus apartment and then you go in and

0:24:07.400 --> 0:24:08.600
<v Speaker 1>you do your audio classes.

0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:13.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah yeah basically, and that that town where it's in

0:24:13.880 --> 0:24:17.240
<v Speaker 2>is like mainly just like a bunch of apartments everywhere.

0:24:17.720 --> 0:24:20.520
<v Speaker 1>Are you good? Are you going to borrow money to

0:24:20.760 --> 0:24:21.200
<v Speaker 1>go there?

0:24:23.800 --> 0:24:26.600
<v Speaker 2>My so to like pay for school? Yeah, so you're

0:24:26.600 --> 0:24:30.000
<v Speaker 2>talking about so my dad's helping me pay for school

0:24:30.280 --> 0:24:32.560
<v Speaker 2>because I'm not doing anything crazy. I'm not doing anything

0:24:32.600 --> 0:24:36.040
<v Speaker 2>crazy because I've already got my internship so it's nothing

0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:39.360
<v Speaker 2>like I really and if I move my way up

0:24:39.400 --> 0:24:43.000
<v Speaker 2>in the internship, I get paid and they do training there.

0:24:43.119 --> 0:24:47.880
<v Speaker 2>So it's like it's I don't need as much as

0:24:47.960 --> 0:24:51.960
<v Speaker 2>like a degree in audio because I'll get paid to

0:24:52.040 --> 0:24:54.200
<v Speaker 2>get trained. And it's a great company.

0:24:54.280 --> 0:24:57.320
<v Speaker 1>So you got good parents, man, you got a good life.

0:24:58.720 --> 0:25:02.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I should appreciate it more, that's for sure.

0:25:03.160 --> 0:25:07.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, you got a good life. That's cool. That

0:25:07.520 --> 0:25:09.840
<v Speaker 1>seems like both parents seem like nice people.

0:25:10.720 --> 0:25:11.679
<v Speaker 2>They're great people.

0:25:15.200 --> 0:25:17.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you got out, You got out pretty good

0:25:17.320 --> 0:25:20.119
<v Speaker 1>because I'm sure you probably I do you you do

0:25:20.160 --> 0:25:22.760
<v Speaker 1>you know a lot of people with I'm literally I'm

0:25:22.760 --> 0:25:24.760
<v Speaker 1>just basing this off of like what I've heard of

0:25:24.840 --> 0:25:27.399
<v Speaker 1>doing this podcast and like also and just like be

0:25:27.680 --> 0:25:31.440
<v Speaker 1>going to uh Utah a few times and like talking

0:25:31.440 --> 0:25:33.360
<v Speaker 1>to people and shit, like, do you know a lot

0:25:33.400 --> 0:25:36.440
<v Speaker 1>of people with like fucking crazy parents?

0:25:38.040 --> 0:25:43.000
<v Speaker 2>Let me think I like very like like very.

0:25:42.840 --> 0:25:45.960
<v Speaker 1>Like fundamentalist kind of people.

0:25:45.840 --> 0:25:53.960
<v Speaker 2>I mean, not like crazy, honestly, No, I honestly can't

0:25:54.000 --> 0:25:58.400
<v Speaker 2>really think of like because honestly, I've like mainly surrounded

0:25:58.400 --> 0:26:05.040
<v Speaker 2>myself with people that like, I mean maybe one of

0:26:05.040 --> 0:26:09.119
<v Speaker 2>my friends but like she moved out because crazy dads.

0:26:09.920 --> 0:26:15.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah right, Yeah, I can't really think of like specific people. No, honestly,

0:26:17.480 --> 0:26:19.840
<v Speaker 2>it might not be as crazy as people are saying,

0:26:20.119 --> 0:26:22.720
<v Speaker 2>or maybe I just have I'm around different people.

0:26:23.280 --> 0:26:25.400
<v Speaker 1>No, that's the reality of life, is it's not as

0:26:25.440 --> 0:26:26.320
<v Speaker 1>crazy as people.

0:26:27.280 --> 0:26:27.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:26:27.720 --> 0:26:29.639
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes sometimes it is, sometimes it's not.

0:26:30.000 --> 0:26:32.959
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there's a rare cases. There's some cases that definitely

0:26:33.040 --> 0:26:35.280
<v Speaker 2>I bet there's some crazy parents.

0:26:35.800 --> 0:26:43.359
<v Speaker 1>Hmmm. Okay, Pete, cool, Okay, it was good. I'm glad

0:26:43.400 --> 0:26:45.280
<v Speaker 1>I got to hear about your life today. So I

0:26:45.280 --> 0:26:47.920
<v Speaker 1>don't know why I enjoyed hearing about your life.

0:26:47.960 --> 0:26:48.040
<v Speaker 2>You.

0:26:48.119 --> 0:26:52.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm like something about something about the Maybe I'm being

0:26:53.480 --> 0:26:55.600
<v Speaker 1>Maybe it's just because I'm in a good mood right now,

0:26:55.920 --> 0:27:01.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm on stimulants. Well, that makes you feel It makes

0:27:01.080 --> 0:27:05.280
<v Speaker 1>me feel good that you have a good life. I'm like,

0:27:05.960 --> 0:27:10.639
<v Speaker 1>all right, great, someone, there's a guy who just graduated

0:27:10.680 --> 0:27:15.320
<v Speaker 1>high school in Utah. He's gonna have a good life

0:27:15.400 --> 0:27:18.080
<v Speaker 1>doing audio engineering stuff that's not gonna get taken away

0:27:18.080 --> 0:27:23.560
<v Speaker 1>by AI. Probably his parents are nice. His dad's gonna

0:27:23.560 --> 0:27:24.800
<v Speaker 1>help me out with school. He's not gonna have to

0:27:24.840 --> 0:27:26.160
<v Speaker 1>go into debt. That's pretty good.

0:27:27.320 --> 0:27:32.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. Wow, you're making me like look back and be like, wow,

0:27:32.600 --> 0:27:33.760
<v Speaker 2>I do have a great life.

0:27:34.000 --> 0:27:37.040
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, he's gonna put on this di y show

0:27:37.080 --> 0:27:43.320
<v Speaker 1>with his friends. That's gonna be sick. That's good. Look.

0:27:43.960 --> 0:27:45.720
<v Speaker 1>Whether it's up to you, whether or not you want,

0:27:45.760 --> 0:27:47.919
<v Speaker 1>you want to enjoy your life, but I'm kind of

0:27:48.040 --> 0:27:51.560
<v Speaker 1>enjoying it vicariously through you right now.

0:27:51.880 --> 0:27:54.520
<v Speaker 2>Just feels awesome. This is awesome, This is good.

0:27:54.720 --> 0:28:01.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah mm hmm. Yeah, you're a janitor, that's but that's hard.

0:28:02.280 --> 0:28:03.160
<v Speaker 1>But it's not forever.

0:28:04.240 --> 0:28:11.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, mm hmm.

0:28:12.920 --> 0:28:18.280
<v Speaker 1>Okay, well, uh, this this was this was productive.

0:28:18.320 --> 0:28:21.400
<v Speaker 2>I feel I feel like it was too.

0:28:23.080 --> 0:28:24.679
<v Speaker 1>Do you have anything else you want to say or

0:28:26.600 --> 0:28:27.919
<v Speaker 1>or anything at all before we go?

0:28:32.760 --> 0:28:36.439
<v Speaker 2>Not really, just like I love this is like I

0:28:36.520 --> 0:28:38.840
<v Speaker 2>listened to like I think I've listened to like eighty

0:28:38.880 --> 0:28:40.400
<v Speaker 2>percent of your episode. Fuck.

0:28:40.480 --> 0:28:43.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, thank you very much for doing that. Yeah, I'm

0:28:43.880 --> 0:28:45.920
<v Speaker 1>trying to do that. Yeah, I'm trying to do that

0:28:45.920 --> 0:28:48.160
<v Speaker 1>more with my own life. I'm like, oh shit, I

0:28:48.200 --> 0:28:55.000
<v Speaker 1>host this podcast is pretty cool. So you know, if

0:28:55.760 --> 0:28:58.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm not gonna go, but dm me, if you did

0:28:58.400 --> 0:29:01.080
<v Speaker 1>the show, I want to see if you did it. It

0:29:01.080 --> 0:29:03.680
<v Speaker 1>would make me. Yeah, it would be stoked if you like, yeah,

0:29:03.680 --> 0:29:05.360
<v Speaker 1>if you do the show, like DM me a picture

0:29:05.400 --> 0:29:07.640
<v Speaker 1>and be like, I fucking did the show. I don't know,

0:29:07.680 --> 0:29:09.800
<v Speaker 1>I can't. I'm not going to promise i'll respond to it,

0:29:11.240 --> 0:29:13.360
<v Speaker 1>but but if I do, I'd be like, all right,

0:29:13.360 --> 0:29:14.760
<v Speaker 1>that's sick. I'll be happy to know.

0:29:14.760 --> 0:29:20.040
<v Speaker 2>That you did it. Okay, yeah, for sure, will.

0:29:20.360 --> 0:29:24.960
<v Speaker 1>Beautiful, awesome, good luck, Pete. I'll see you around the universe.

0:29:25.440 --> 0:29:31.440
<v Speaker 2>Thank you. Have a good day you too. Yeah.

0:29:32.240 --> 0:29:36.880
<v Speaker 1>I like that guy, Pete. He's got a good he's

0:29:36.880 --> 0:29:38.120
<v Speaker 1>got a good life.

0:29:43.160 --> 0:29:44.760
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm. Yeah.

0:29:44.800 --> 0:29:50.320
<v Speaker 1>Sometimes on the show we talked to depressed people. Sometimes

0:29:50.320 --> 0:29:57.440
<v Speaker 1>we talk to people. I don't think Pete seemed depressed necessarily.

0:30:03.920 --> 0:30:07.960
<v Speaker 1>He seems he's gonna get was doing well, that's good. Yeah,

0:30:07.960 --> 0:30:10.240
<v Speaker 1>sometimes so I think I think it's good. I think

0:30:10.240 --> 0:30:12.760
<v Speaker 1>it's good to be able to you like that's why

0:30:12.880 --> 0:30:14.400
<v Speaker 1>you get to like look at a bunch of different

0:30:14.440 --> 0:30:19.280
<v Speaker 1>lives and go like, yeah, you know that life seems that.

0:30:19.600 --> 0:30:21.280
<v Speaker 1>One of the notes I get on the show a

0:30:21.280 --> 0:30:23.160
<v Speaker 1>lot is people are like, I love listening to this

0:30:23.280 --> 0:30:25.719
<v Speaker 1>because it makes me because people are because it makes

0:30:25.760 --> 0:30:29.440
<v Speaker 1>me feel better about my own life. They're like, oh man,

0:30:29.440 --> 0:30:36.800
<v Speaker 1>people are people's problems horrid. There's something good in that.

0:30:36.920 --> 0:30:40.560
<v Speaker 1>I think it gives you some perspective on your own life.

0:30:41.840 --> 0:30:43.280
<v Speaker 1>But then I don't know it's good to be like,

0:30:45.320 --> 0:30:47.080
<v Speaker 1>oh hey, someone else is a good life. That's good.

0:30:47.120 --> 0:30:49.840
<v Speaker 1>That makes me feel good. It's you know, there's lots

0:30:49.880 --> 0:30:54.560
<v Speaker 1>of crazy shit going on in the world anyway, all right, anyway, whatever,

0:30:55.160 --> 0:31:00.480
<v Speaker 1>who cares cares about anything? What's up?

0:31:00.480 --> 0:31:00.600
<v Speaker 2>Man?

0:31:00.640 --> 0:31:01.200
<v Speaker 1>What's your name?

0:31:02.760 --> 0:31:03.640
<v Speaker 2>Uh?

0:31:04.120 --> 0:31:04.960
<v Speaker 3>Just to sign me a name?

0:31:04.960 --> 0:31:07.760
<v Speaker 1>I don't all right, I'm gonna call you. I'll call you, Devon.

0:31:09.520 --> 0:31:11.600
<v Speaker 3>This is weird as fuck, dude, I've been listening to you.

0:31:11.720 --> 0:31:12.440
<v Speaker 3>I'm nervous.

0:31:12.480 --> 0:31:17.680
<v Speaker 1>Fuck don'pe be nervous. We're Uh, this is a I

0:31:17.720 --> 0:31:20.000
<v Speaker 1>think this is a safe space. I hope it is

0:31:20.200 --> 0:31:28.200
<v Speaker 1>yees for Devon? Yeah, where are you right now? What

0:31:28.240 --> 0:31:28.640
<v Speaker 1>are you doing?

0:31:30.440 --> 0:31:33.880
<v Speaker 3>I'm chilling in my apartment. I live in Montreal. It's

0:31:33.960 --> 0:31:36.520
<v Speaker 3>kind of weird. I don't know French, so like trying

0:31:36.520 --> 0:31:38.640
<v Speaker 3>to figure my shit out kind of like, Okay, I

0:31:38.640 --> 0:31:43.560
<v Speaker 3>feel like I should learn French, but I'm loki bad

0:31:43.560 --> 0:31:44.760
<v Speaker 3>at fuck at school. So like.

0:31:46.800 --> 0:31:49.520
<v Speaker 1>Do they speak a lot of French in Montreal?

0:31:50.760 --> 0:31:54.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? Yeah, yeah, like Canada isn't French, but like Montreal French.

0:31:56.000 --> 0:31:59.480
<v Speaker 1>But like but like like everyone there also yeah everyone

0:31:59.480 --> 0:32:00.560
<v Speaker 1>there also English?

0:32:00.600 --> 0:32:06.600
<v Speaker 3>Right yeah, but like well nine, but I low key

0:32:06.720 --> 0:32:09.200
<v Speaker 3>like I don't know, like this is the wrong I

0:32:09.240 --> 0:32:11.160
<v Speaker 3>low key like feel like a colonizer, like I low

0:32:11.280 --> 0:32:12.320
<v Speaker 3>you feel bad.

0:32:13.400 --> 0:32:15.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean they're like, yeah, go ahead.

0:32:16.080 --> 0:32:18.400
<v Speaker 3>Like French people like get pissed like low key when

0:32:18.440 --> 0:32:21.960
<v Speaker 3>you're like you're like I don't really no French, they

0:32:22.000 --> 0:32:23.800
<v Speaker 3>just kind of look at you like fuck you.

0:32:23.800 --> 0:32:25.840
<v Speaker 1>You know, where'd you grow up?

0:32:27.520 --> 0:32:28.920
<v Speaker 3>Uh? New Brunswick.

0:32:30.440 --> 0:32:33.000
<v Speaker 1>In in New Jersey.

0:32:33.200 --> 0:32:36.240
<v Speaker 3>No no, no, no, no, New Brunswick, Canada.

0:32:36.720 --> 0:32:39.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'm an idiot. How far was that from Montreal?

0:32:40.920 --> 0:32:43.360
<v Speaker 3>Like like seven hours like that?

0:32:44.000 --> 0:32:50.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, wait, who colonized too with the French because Frances.

0:32:50.720 --> 0:32:53.200
<v Speaker 3>Like no, no, no, no, like power and all that stuff,

0:32:55.120 --> 0:32:57.760
<v Speaker 3>like well, there was like a war that happened. I

0:32:57.760 --> 0:32:59.920
<v Speaker 3>don't really know many too too many details because they

0:33:00.080 --> 0:33:03.520
<v Speaker 3>really teach me that in school because like but like

0:33:03.760 --> 0:33:05.840
<v Speaker 3>I don't know. It's just like a super big stigma.

0:33:05.880 --> 0:33:08.840
<v Speaker 3>It's like if you don't know French, they're like kind

0:33:08.880 --> 0:33:14.520
<v Speaker 3>of pissed. Well they're like they're like you know, like

0:33:14.560 --> 0:33:17.200
<v Speaker 3>they have like like we're not in like France, but

0:33:17.240 --> 0:33:19.560
<v Speaker 3>they still get like the French rudeness type shit. So like,

0:33:20.120 --> 0:33:23.000
<v Speaker 3>m you'll meet someone and then like I met some

0:33:23.120 --> 0:33:24.719
<v Speaker 3>like old dude and he was talking to me and

0:33:24.760 --> 0:33:26.600
<v Speaker 3>I was like I was like I don't really know

0:33:26.680 --> 0:33:28.880
<v Speaker 3>French and he was like he's like, oh, like what

0:33:28.920 --> 0:33:31.880
<v Speaker 3>the fuck? And you like he's like he was like sixty,

0:33:31.880 --> 0:33:33.480
<v Speaker 3>but he's like rolling his eyes at me and shit,

0:33:33.560 --> 0:33:34.440
<v Speaker 3>and he like walked off.

0:33:34.440 --> 0:33:35.240
<v Speaker 2>It was weird, like.

0:33:37.520 --> 0:33:40.040
<v Speaker 3>I feel and like it's low key respectful, like I

0:33:40.040 --> 0:33:43.440
<v Speaker 3>should probably learn French. I'm gonna because they like want

0:33:43.440 --> 0:33:44.520
<v Speaker 3>to keep their language and shit.

0:33:46.680 --> 0:33:52.840
<v Speaker 1>But hmm, yeah, I've never been to Montreal. I want

0:33:52.840 --> 0:33:53.800
<v Speaker 1>to go sometime though.

0:33:54.440 --> 0:33:58.280
<v Speaker 3>It's pretty close. You're in New York, right, yeah, yeah,

0:33:58.320 --> 0:34:01.640
<v Speaker 3>I think it's like seven or eight hours, like by car.

0:34:02.480 --> 0:34:03.360
<v Speaker 1>Why'd you move there?

0:34:05.200 --> 0:34:08.759
<v Speaker 3>I moved here with my ex and because they liked

0:34:08.760 --> 0:34:11.239
<v Speaker 3>to go to Montreal, so we went to Montreal like

0:34:12.200 --> 0:34:14.799
<v Speaker 3>a few weeks after we met, and then they were like,

0:34:14.840 --> 0:34:16.880
<v Speaker 3>let's move to Montreal. And then we moved to Montreal

0:34:16.960 --> 0:34:18.560
<v Speaker 3>and then we broke up. So now I'm like, what

0:34:18.600 --> 0:34:18.959
<v Speaker 3>the fuck?

0:34:20.560 --> 0:34:21.640
<v Speaker 1>When did you guys break up?

0:34:24.880 --> 0:34:28.200
<v Speaker 3>Officially it was like three months ago, but like we

0:34:28.280 --> 0:34:29.560
<v Speaker 3>stopped talking like.

0:34:32.280 --> 0:34:36.520
<v Speaker 1>Three weeks ago, and you moved specifically to Montreal to

0:34:36.560 --> 0:34:38.640
<v Speaker 1>be with this lady and now she's gone now.

0:34:38.560 --> 0:34:41.600
<v Speaker 3>There and we were in New Brunswick together and they

0:34:41.760 --> 0:34:45.440
<v Speaker 3>liked Montreal, and then our homies moved to Montreal as well,

0:34:46.480 --> 0:34:48.799
<v Speaker 3>like a year before us, and she was like, let's

0:34:48.840 --> 0:34:52.120
<v Speaker 3>move to Montreal. And I was like, I mean, they

0:34:52.160 --> 0:34:55.439
<v Speaker 3>ain't shooting New Runswick, so I was like, all right.

0:34:58.440 --> 0:35:00.319
<v Speaker 3>So now I'm like I just turned twenty. So I'm

0:35:00.360 --> 0:35:02.440
<v Speaker 3>just like here and I'm like, what the like I

0:35:02.520 --> 0:35:05.160
<v Speaker 3>had her and just like that was like my structure,

0:35:05.200 --> 0:35:08.200
<v Speaker 3>you feel me, even though it was like now I'm

0:35:08.239 --> 0:35:10.200
<v Speaker 3>just working my Like I have a job that's like

0:35:10.200 --> 0:35:12.200
<v Speaker 3>a little over a minimum wage. I'm just like working

0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:14.200
<v Speaker 3>that and I'm like, what the fuck do I do now?

0:35:14.280 --> 0:35:14.879
<v Speaker 3>Dog Like.

0:35:16.880 --> 0:35:20.799
<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, I got a Yeah we can. Yeah, let's

0:35:20.800 --> 0:35:21.319
<v Speaker 1>talk this out.

0:35:21.800 --> 0:35:22.040
<v Speaker 2>Well.

0:35:22.120 --> 0:35:26.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't know anything about New Brunswick, but I I

0:35:26.760 --> 0:35:33.680
<v Speaker 1>personally believe that, especially if you're young and you're trying

0:35:33.719 --> 0:35:36.800
<v Speaker 1>to like, you know, get a fucking life going, you

0:35:36.840 --> 0:35:39.480
<v Speaker 1>should live in like a city city. And I assume

0:35:39.520 --> 0:35:41.719
<v Speaker 1>I don't know anything about New Brunswick, but like Montreal

0:35:41.880 --> 0:35:43.680
<v Speaker 1>is a more of a city.

0:35:43.440 --> 0:35:46.879
<v Speaker 3>City than fifteen thousand. Montreal's like I think like two

0:35:47.000 --> 0:35:49.360
<v Speaker 3>mil something like that population.

0:35:49.880 --> 0:35:52.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and everyone wants different things out of their life.

0:35:52.520 --> 0:35:54.239
<v Speaker 1>I'm just kind of like a city guy. But I

0:35:54.280 --> 0:35:59.200
<v Speaker 1>think it's good that you are, like in a big city. Yeah, yeah,

0:35:59.280 --> 0:36:01.360
<v Speaker 1>do you like do you like big cities?

0:36:03.600 --> 0:36:06.720
<v Speaker 3>I mean, like I like like being in the country.

0:36:06.800 --> 0:36:08.680
<v Speaker 3>Like it's just like like I.

0:36:08.640 --> 0:36:09.320
<v Speaker 2>Like to be alone.

0:36:09.440 --> 0:36:11.960
<v Speaker 3>So I'm low key sick by the way, Like if

0:36:12.000 --> 0:36:14.240
<v Speaker 3>I'm sniffling and shit, I'll try not to cougher anything.

0:36:14.280 --> 0:36:16.480
<v Speaker 3>But I mean, I like the city, but I also

0:36:16.600 --> 0:36:18.840
<v Speaker 3>like the country. But the country kind of makes me

0:36:18.880 --> 0:36:20.400
<v Speaker 3>go crazy because I lived in the country in my

0:36:20.440 --> 0:36:23.759
<v Speaker 3>whole life. Yeah, Like I lived in like a towne

0:36:23.760 --> 0:36:25.600
<v Speaker 3>of like five thousand. Then I moved to the town

0:36:25.640 --> 0:36:28.440
<v Speaker 3>of like fifty thousand, met her there, and then we

0:36:28.880 --> 0:36:32.719
<v Speaker 3>moved to Montreal. So like, I feel I like a

0:36:32.760 --> 0:36:33.239
<v Speaker 3>city more.

0:36:34.120 --> 0:36:35.400
<v Speaker 1>Do you have friends in Montreal?

0:36:38.400 --> 0:36:42.000
<v Speaker 3>I got some homies that like, so I knew like

0:36:42.120 --> 0:36:45.719
<v Speaker 3>multiple people that she went to high school with because

0:36:45.760 --> 0:36:48.960
<v Speaker 3>I'm younger than her. And then they moved to Montreal

0:36:49.160 --> 0:36:51.680
<v Speaker 3>and then like we all just like became homies. So

0:36:51.760 --> 0:36:53.200
<v Speaker 3>I got like two or three homies.

0:36:53.680 --> 0:36:58.839
<v Speaker 1>Okay, cool, And you're just working your un a white

0:36:59.000 --> 0:37:00.960
<v Speaker 1>job is your middle way job? Is Like does it

0:37:01.040 --> 0:37:02.759
<v Speaker 1>have any kind of upward mobility in it?

0:37:05.160 --> 0:37:08.960
<v Speaker 3>I mean, like a little bit like you can get

0:37:09.200 --> 0:37:11.320
<v Speaker 3>some better pay, Like you can get some better position.

0:37:11.360 --> 0:37:13.239
<v Speaker 3>Like it's it's a little bit over minimum wage, Like

0:37:13.280 --> 0:37:16.879
<v Speaker 3>I'm making like eighteen an hour by okay, minimum wage

0:37:16.880 --> 0:37:18.919
<v Speaker 3>in Canada is like way higher. It's like fifteen here.

0:37:20.000 --> 0:37:33.040
<v Speaker 1>These are in Canadian dollars. Yeah, yeah, okay, Yeah that's rough. Yeah, okay,

0:37:33.120 --> 0:37:36.520
<v Speaker 1>So do you have like a all right, so you

0:37:36.560 --> 0:37:38.960
<v Speaker 1>have some homies, but you're sitting around You're like, what

0:37:39.000 --> 0:37:39.680
<v Speaker 1>the fuck do I do?

0:37:41.160 --> 0:37:41.359
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:37:41.440 --> 0:37:43.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like you what do you mean by that?

0:37:45.800 --> 0:37:50.359
<v Speaker 3>Well, it's like I didn't really need like I can

0:37:50.440 --> 0:37:53.440
<v Speaker 3>just like go around do whatever, like hang out with

0:37:53.520 --> 0:37:56.920
<v Speaker 3>some people. Like she has hell friends, so like if

0:37:56.920 --> 0:37:59.840
<v Speaker 3>I don't get something to do somenight, like they'll be

0:38:00.040 --> 0:38:01.799
<v Speaker 3>some function, I'll just like go to that with her.

0:38:01.920 --> 0:38:03.840
<v Speaker 3>And then like I.

0:38:04.320 --> 0:38:06.360
<v Speaker 1>Had, like wait, so you still talk like.

0:38:07.840 --> 0:38:10.040
<v Speaker 3>No, no, no, I had like a bunch of like

0:38:10.120 --> 0:38:14.040
<v Speaker 3>vague friends with her, and I would go out and

0:38:14.080 --> 0:38:17.359
<v Speaker 3>do shit with them. Yeah, and then now that that's over,

0:38:17.480 --> 0:38:19.239
<v Speaker 3>it's weird for me to still talk to them. So

0:38:19.360 --> 0:38:22.360
<v Speaker 3>like we're no contact. I'm no contact with all of

0:38:22.400 --> 0:38:22.920
<v Speaker 3>those people.

0:38:23.280 --> 0:38:23.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:38:23.640 --> 0:38:25.759
<v Speaker 3>So now I have like in my homies here are

0:38:25.840 --> 0:38:28.600
<v Speaker 3>like they got me the job, so they're like my

0:38:28.800 --> 0:38:29.520
<v Speaker 3>boss too.

0:38:30.200 --> 0:38:31.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Okay, I get you.

0:38:31.360 --> 0:38:32.879
<v Speaker 3>I don't want to be with them all the time,

0:38:32.920 --> 0:38:33.200
<v Speaker 3>you know.

0:38:33.400 --> 0:38:36.839
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I get you. All right. Yeah, there's a lot,

0:38:37.440 --> 0:38:39.480
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot to talk about. Can I is it?

0:38:39.520 --> 0:38:41.880
<v Speaker 1>Can I ask you. What can I bring up the

0:38:41.920 --> 0:38:42.880
<v Speaker 1>thing that you texted me?

0:38:43.760 --> 0:38:43.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:38:44.000 --> 0:38:47.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, okay you told me that you said you

0:38:47.640 --> 0:38:50.040
<v Speaker 1>texted me you said, well, you said a few things.

0:38:50.200 --> 0:38:54.200
<v Speaker 1>One thing is you said, I can't stop buying porn

0:38:55.160 --> 0:38:57.200
<v Speaker 1>of my eggs.

0:38:57.560 --> 0:38:59.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, man, it's fucked.

0:38:59.719 --> 0:39:01.320
<v Speaker 1>So does she have an only fans?

0:39:02.480 --> 0:39:02.680
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:39:02.760 --> 0:39:04.040
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, okay.

0:39:04.520 --> 0:39:06.040
<v Speaker 1>Did she have it like when you were together?

0:39:08.200 --> 0:39:11.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? She had it for like I mean she's been

0:39:11.680 --> 0:39:13.439
<v Speaker 3>doing it for like seven years now, like or maybe

0:39:13.480 --> 0:39:15.920
<v Speaker 3>not that, like since it's been a thing, Like it's

0:39:15.920 --> 0:39:18.640
<v Speaker 3>been a long time. She's like twenty four. She's been

0:39:18.719 --> 0:39:21.360
<v Speaker 3>doing it since she was like eighteen, so she was

0:39:21.360 --> 0:39:27.399
<v Speaker 3>like pretty popular. That's how we moved to Montreal. And yeah,

0:39:27.440 --> 0:39:28.840
<v Speaker 3>she was doing it long before she met me.

0:39:29.280 --> 0:39:32.279
<v Speaker 1>But and then you guys broke up, and now she

0:39:32.440 --> 0:39:35.200
<v Speaker 1>and now you're like addicted to like buying shit from

0:39:35.200 --> 0:39:36.160
<v Speaker 1>her only fans.

0:39:37.320 --> 0:39:40.560
<v Speaker 3>I mean, like, like I'm a young guy, you feel

0:39:40.600 --> 0:39:41.120
<v Speaker 3>me so like.

0:39:42.480 --> 0:39:45.000
<v Speaker 1>It's a shame. I'm just like it's a shame. I

0:39:45.120 --> 0:39:48.400
<v Speaker 1>like we could talk about this very like matter of fact.

0:39:48.560 --> 0:39:53.839
<v Speaker 3>It's like fuck, Like like I'm trying to do my thing,

0:39:53.920 --> 0:39:56.600
<v Speaker 3>but it's like I'm not attracted to anyone else. Yeah,

0:39:56.719 --> 0:39:58.560
<v Speaker 3>it's like I just need to feel something like I

0:39:58.719 --> 0:40:02.359
<v Speaker 3>were no contact, Like I don't think her voicemail set up,

0:40:02.400 --> 0:40:04.520
<v Speaker 3>so I like bought it. I just got to like

0:40:04.600 --> 0:40:09.320
<v Speaker 3>see us together. It was super fucked no what like

0:40:10.080 --> 0:40:10.560
<v Speaker 3>on that ship.

0:40:10.960 --> 0:40:16.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, No, this is s Yeah you're in a yeah,

0:40:16.600 --> 0:40:26.640
<v Speaker 1>you're in like this crazy, potently addictive thing because like

0:40:27.239 --> 0:40:31.520
<v Speaker 1>on like because everyone it's like a common thing, right

0:40:31.600 --> 0:40:33.759
<v Speaker 1>of like you break up with someone and you like

0:40:33.800 --> 0:40:38.400
<v Speaker 1>stalk their social media and yeah, it's so it's funny

0:40:38.440 --> 0:40:42.560
<v Speaker 1>because like that is like a new phenomenon for the

0:40:42.560 --> 0:40:45.440
<v Speaker 1>brain relatively, because you used to be able to just

0:40:45.440 --> 0:40:47.120
<v Speaker 1>go no contact with someone and not see them, but

0:40:47.160 --> 0:40:48.880
<v Speaker 1>now you have access to like everything they're doing with

0:40:48.920 --> 0:40:52.040
<v Speaker 1>their life. And then now you like on top of

0:40:52.200 --> 0:40:56.520
<v Speaker 1>that is this crazy thing where like you know your

0:40:56.560 --> 0:41:01.040
<v Speaker 1>ex is like uh, you know she has an OnlyFans

0:41:01.040 --> 0:41:05.200
<v Speaker 1>and so now you can like you know, like purchase

0:41:05.320 --> 0:41:11.200
<v Speaker 1>some form of like sexual intimacy with her. It's a

0:41:11.280 --> 0:41:16.560
<v Speaker 1>crazy Yeah, it's a it's a crazy uh thing that

0:41:16.600 --> 0:41:20.479
<v Speaker 1>you're like yours going on with the brain right now.

0:41:20.560 --> 0:41:23.239
<v Speaker 3>Like I was like trying to do my thing one

0:41:23.320 --> 0:41:25.520
<v Speaker 3>night because I was like I just had like pent

0:41:25.600 --> 0:41:28.279
<v Speaker 3>up energy, you know what I'm saying, and like it

0:41:28.400 --> 0:41:31.719
<v Speaker 3>just like was not working. So I like I set

0:41:31.800 --> 0:41:33.600
<v Speaker 3>up like a burner email, like it was like a

0:41:33.640 --> 0:41:35.880
<v Speaker 3>twenty minute thing like to put my card and so in.

0:41:35.960 --> 0:41:37.000
<v Speaker 3>It was like a whole thing.

0:41:37.760 --> 0:41:42.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I have a rule of thumb. I mean I've

0:41:42.640 --> 0:41:44.799
<v Speaker 1>broken this rule of thumb multiple times, but I have

0:41:45.000 --> 0:41:46.759
<v Speaker 1>I haven't. I have a rule of thumb, which is

0:41:47.400 --> 0:41:52.520
<v Speaker 1>never ever enter your credit card information into a website

0:41:52.800 --> 0:41:56.719
<v Speaker 1>with one hand while your penis is in the other hand. Yes, real,

0:41:58.120 --> 0:42:01.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah was I've that rule, But there's are rules to

0:42:01.200 --> 0:42:07.320
<v Speaker 1>live by. So yeah, So it sounds like you were

0:42:07.800 --> 0:42:11.919
<v Speaker 1>like palpitably physically attracted to this woman in a way

0:42:11.920 --> 0:42:15.600
<v Speaker 1>that you're not finding yourself attracted to other women.

0:42:17.960 --> 0:42:18.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:42:18.280 --> 0:42:23.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and you guys just broke up.

0:42:25.320 --> 0:42:28.799
<v Speaker 3>I mean, well, like fucking I think it was like

0:42:28.840 --> 0:42:33.920
<v Speaker 3>back in August or some shit, but sorry, we were

0:42:33.920 --> 0:42:37.880
<v Speaker 3>like still talking, like she was I moved in with

0:42:37.920 --> 0:42:39.879
<v Speaker 3>a roommate and then she was like still coming over

0:42:39.960 --> 0:42:42.760
<v Speaker 3>and shait because my roommate was on like a vacation,

0:42:42.920 --> 0:42:46.000
<v Speaker 3>so I was alone and she was like, oh, like

0:42:46.040 --> 0:42:47.759
<v Speaker 3>I'm leading you on. This is fucked up, this is

0:42:47.800 --> 0:42:49.279
<v Speaker 3>fucked up. And it went on and on, and it

0:42:49.360 --> 0:42:52.640
<v Speaker 3>was like it's like I don't really think it's like

0:42:52.680 --> 0:42:56.400
<v Speaker 3>that fucked up, Like I don't like people were like

0:42:56.400 --> 0:43:00.239
<v Speaker 3>Loki telling her, like some people were saying like because

0:43:00.280 --> 0:43:02.719
<v Speaker 3>we get like homies and they were like and she

0:43:02.840 --> 0:43:05.399
<v Speaker 3>like even told me like face to face. She was like, yeah,

0:43:05.400 --> 0:43:07.479
<v Speaker 3>I made the wrong decision, but I'm like into deep.

0:43:09.239 --> 0:43:11.680
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, I'm not following she made the wrong decision

0:43:12.040 --> 0:43:12.920
<v Speaker 1>moving to Monch, like.

0:43:12.880 --> 0:43:15.440
<v Speaker 3>She was like, I feel like I probably shouldn't have

0:43:15.440 --> 0:43:17.839
<v Speaker 3>broken up with you, or like I don't know if

0:43:17.880 --> 0:43:20.279
<v Speaker 3>I should have. She was like I'm in too deep now,

0:43:20.320 --> 0:43:22.799
<v Speaker 3>and like she's very like in her ways, like if

0:43:22.840 --> 0:43:24.359
<v Speaker 3>she's going to do something, she's going to do it.

0:43:24.719 --> 0:43:25.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:43:25.000 --> 0:43:27.000
<v Speaker 3>Like we were just talking how we like Montreal, and

0:43:27.040 --> 0:43:30.360
<v Speaker 3>she was like we'removing okay, but like yeah.

0:43:29.920 --> 0:43:31.759
<v Speaker 1>Okay, And so when she decided to break up with you,

0:43:31.960 --> 0:43:33.200
<v Speaker 1>like she's doing it, she's.

0:43:33.000 --> 0:43:36.440
<v Speaker 3>Not yeah yeah yeah. Like I was going to use

0:43:36.480 --> 0:43:38.920
<v Speaker 3>her car and drop shit back off in New Brunswick.

0:43:38.920 --> 0:43:40.560
<v Speaker 3>I had like all my shit in her car at

0:43:40.560 --> 0:43:43.880
<v Speaker 3>her house and I was going to go that morning

0:43:44.000 --> 0:43:45.680
<v Speaker 3>like to do like the six seven hour drive and

0:43:45.719 --> 0:43:49.400
<v Speaker 3>then the night before, like I fall asleep like at

0:43:49.480 --> 0:43:52.279
<v Speaker 3>like six or seven because I worked that morning. Yeah,

0:43:52.320 --> 0:43:55.520
<v Speaker 3>and then I wake up at like ten, and everything

0:43:55.560 --> 0:43:58.240
<v Speaker 3>at own was like in the lobby of my building

0:43:58.320 --> 0:44:00.879
<v Speaker 3>for like four hours, like anyone could have just gone

0:44:00.920 --> 0:44:05.960
<v Speaker 3>through my ship. She's like, your ship's in your your lobby.

0:44:06.440 --> 0:44:08.080
<v Speaker 3>We have to go no contact. And that was like

0:44:08.120 --> 0:44:10.040
<v Speaker 3>three four weeks ago, and like since then, I've just

0:44:10.080 --> 0:44:12.600
<v Speaker 3>been like going crazy low key on my own.

0:44:12.680 --> 0:44:14.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure you have.

0:44:17.480 --> 0:44:17.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:44:17.760 --> 0:44:24.719
<v Speaker 1>She sounds like she's uh like a little she sounds

0:44:24.719 --> 0:44:28.480
<v Speaker 1>like she's much better than you are at like emotional

0:44:28.520 --> 0:44:33.799
<v Speaker 1>detachment and moving on and like doing her ship. And

0:44:33.800 --> 0:44:38.200
<v Speaker 1>that's really that's really painful. It's like extremely painful when

0:44:38.320 --> 0:44:41.359
<v Speaker 1>like you you're going through it and she's not, and

0:44:41.400 --> 0:44:43.759
<v Speaker 1>you're like, well then what the fuck? Like I understand,

0:44:43.960 --> 0:44:51.760
<v Speaker 1>like I feel your pain on that, but uh, there's

0:44:51.840 --> 0:44:55.839
<v Speaker 1>a lot there's so and then yeah, now like doing

0:44:55.840 --> 0:44:58.040
<v Speaker 1>this thing where like you like can't get her out

0:44:58.080 --> 0:45:02.280
<v Speaker 1>of your mind like sexually, and that's making it really

0:45:02.280 --> 0:45:04.920
<v Speaker 1>fucking hard to move on or like you know, like

0:45:04.960 --> 0:45:07.400
<v Speaker 1>you're like whatever, like like you know, looking at her

0:45:07.440 --> 0:45:09.120
<v Speaker 1>while you masturbate or like thinking about her while you

0:45:09.200 --> 0:45:11.200
<v Speaker 1>masterbad shit like that, like that makes it harder to

0:45:12.160 --> 0:45:19.840
<v Speaker 1>move on. But good news, what's your name again, Devin?

0:45:19.920 --> 0:45:22.840
<v Speaker 1>I gave you a name. Good news for you, Devin,

0:45:23.640 --> 0:45:29.000
<v Speaker 1>Good news for you. A concept known as neuroplasticity. I'm

0:45:29.040 --> 0:45:35.680
<v Speaker 1>not going to pretend like I'm studied anything, but things

0:45:35.760 --> 0:45:40.320
<v Speaker 1>that uh, you're like potently addicted to her, like that

0:45:40.440 --> 0:45:45.560
<v Speaker 1>become habit. Like the wrong with possibility exists. There exists

0:45:45.600 --> 0:45:47.799
<v Speaker 1>a universe where you're no longer thinking about your ex

0:45:47.840 --> 0:45:53.000
<v Speaker 1>while masturbating or buying photos of her, and shit, yeah

0:45:53.000 --> 0:45:57.200
<v Speaker 1>I hope, yeah there will there. Yeah, don't worry, you'll

0:45:57.280 --> 0:46:04.920
<v Speaker 1>you know, there's hope for you, my friend. So you

0:46:05.000 --> 0:46:08.399
<v Speaker 1>work a minute, you work a job, and you live

0:46:08.400 --> 0:46:15.799
<v Speaker 1>in Montreal, and you sound like and you're twenty, so

0:46:15.920 --> 0:46:23.600
<v Speaker 1>you're like you're still kind of like developing your like existence.

0:46:23.760 --> 0:46:23.960
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:46:26.800 --> 0:46:28.439
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, I got a fund, like what I want

0:46:28.440 --> 0:46:31.359
<v Speaker 3>to do, Like I don't know like what I want

0:46:31.400 --> 0:46:33.359
<v Speaker 3>to do in my life. I'm kind of just here, like.

0:46:33.520 --> 0:46:43.960
<v Speaker 1>U huh, because yeah, you want to eventually find someone

0:46:44.000 --> 0:46:50.279
<v Speaker 1>that you are attracted to it's not your ex and

0:46:51.600 --> 0:46:55.640
<v Speaker 1>you you will eventually, but I think the process of

0:46:55.760 --> 0:47:03.480
<v Speaker 1>getting there has to be a very indirect process that

0:47:03.680 --> 0:47:12.360
<v Speaker 1>involves reaching some form of self actualization or some form

0:47:12.400 --> 0:47:18.839
<v Speaker 1>of satisfaction with your own life. And where you are

0:47:18.920 --> 0:47:25.000
<v Speaker 1>right yeah, and where you are right now? Uh is

0:47:25.000 --> 0:47:28.600
<v Speaker 1>is like you can't yeah, you can't do that from

0:47:28.640 --> 0:47:31.680
<v Speaker 1>where you are right now, you know. So you got

0:47:31.719 --> 0:47:32.600
<v Speaker 1>to get out of that ship.

0:47:35.200 --> 0:47:38.279
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, that's why I'm trying to go outside, like like

0:47:38.360 --> 0:47:40.600
<v Speaker 3>to that rave, Like that's low key awkward to go alone.

0:47:40.719 --> 0:47:46.839
<v Speaker 1>Like so stop, okay, so you yeah, you take it, Like, so, yeah,

0:47:46.880 --> 0:47:48.799
<v Speaker 1>you texted me, you texted me the porn thing, but

0:47:48.840 --> 0:47:54.760
<v Speaker 1>you also texted me rave exclamation point in all caps, tonight,

0:47:55.200 --> 0:47:58.160
<v Speaker 1>do I go alone? Okay, let's talk about that. Tell me,

0:47:58.200 --> 0:47:59.839
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry I interrupted you, but I wanted to give

0:47:59.840 --> 0:48:02.279
<v Speaker 1>some context. Tell me what are you? What are you

0:48:02.280 --> 0:48:02.719
<v Speaker 1>gonna say?

0:48:03.239 --> 0:48:07.480
<v Speaker 3>Well, like, fuck, this sounds insane, like I sound super creepy.

0:48:08.320 --> 0:48:13.879
<v Speaker 3>So like just like through mutuals, like I I had

0:48:13.960 --> 0:48:17.640
<v Speaker 3>heard of a person before in the past that she knew,

0:48:18.280 --> 0:48:20.439
<v Speaker 3>but I didn't like put any thought to it, any

0:48:20.480 --> 0:48:23.640
<v Speaker 3>any thought into it. And then anyway, just like someone

0:48:23.680 --> 0:48:25.480
<v Speaker 3>you hear through passing, like, oh, I was talking to

0:48:25.520 --> 0:48:28.440
<v Speaker 3>this person. I was like, I need to just get

0:48:28.440 --> 0:48:30.160
<v Speaker 3>outside of my house and like go to a store.

0:48:30.200 --> 0:48:33.920
<v Speaker 3>So I was like I was like fucking like four

0:48:34.000 --> 0:48:37.160
<v Speaker 3>or five blocks away from my house, and I saw

0:48:37.200 --> 0:48:39.680
<v Speaker 3>this chick like staring at me, and I was like,

0:48:39.760 --> 0:48:42.040
<v Speaker 3>damn this, she's like that as fuck. And then like

0:48:42.080 --> 0:48:44.920
<v Speaker 3>we passed each other and it was super awkward. And

0:48:44.960 --> 0:48:46.760
<v Speaker 3>then I went to a store. She went to a store.

0:48:47.520 --> 0:48:50.799
<v Speaker 3>Then I passed her again and like we both like

0:48:51.040 --> 0:48:53.160
<v Speaker 3>kind of locked up, like we wanted to say something

0:48:53.200 --> 0:48:55.279
<v Speaker 3>to each other, and I was like, I swear like

0:48:55.320 --> 0:48:58.879
<v Speaker 3>I recognize her from somewhere. And then like I went

0:48:58.960 --> 0:49:01.239
<v Speaker 3>home and I was just like going through my Instagram

0:49:01.520 --> 0:49:04.520
<v Speaker 3>and dead out, like I found her account because like

0:49:04.600 --> 0:49:06.719
<v Speaker 3>through her story she had posted like I didn't think

0:49:06.760 --> 0:49:09.239
<v Speaker 3>it was her, but I saw like her wearing the

0:49:09.280 --> 0:49:12.160
<v Speaker 3>same outfit. It's like, well, this already is like insane,

0:49:12.200 --> 0:49:13.520
<v Speaker 3>Like what are the chances I would know?

0:49:14.640 --> 0:49:16.800
<v Speaker 1>You know, how did you find this girl's Instagram account?

0:49:16.840 --> 0:49:17.560
<v Speaker 1>Was that even knowing I know?

0:49:17.600 --> 0:49:18.360
<v Speaker 4>It was crazy?

0:49:18.480 --> 0:49:18.640
<v Speaker 2>No?

0:49:18.640 --> 0:49:20.400
<v Speaker 1>No, how did you find it without even knowing?

0:49:20.480 --> 0:49:20.600
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:49:20.640 --> 0:49:21.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, go ahead.

0:49:21.560 --> 0:49:24.400
<v Speaker 3>We have like five or six different mutuals. So I

0:49:24.520 --> 0:49:26.759
<v Speaker 3>was just like I went home and I was just

0:49:26.800 --> 0:49:30.280
<v Speaker 3>on Instagram, just going through like random profiles and stories,

0:49:30.760 --> 0:49:33.279
<v Speaker 3>and I saw this chick who was wearing like a

0:49:33.320 --> 0:49:37.719
<v Speaker 3>super identifial identifiable hootie that the chick that I saw

0:49:37.840 --> 0:49:40.360
<v Speaker 3>that day was wearing. And then I was just like

0:49:40.360 --> 0:49:42.200
<v Speaker 3>going through random stories and I saw this rave. So

0:49:42.239 --> 0:49:43.799
<v Speaker 3>I was like, I guess I'll just buy a ticket

0:49:43.920 --> 0:49:46.960
<v Speaker 3>try to go outside. Like like the the account that

0:49:46.960 --> 0:49:48.799
<v Speaker 3>posted the rave, like five or six people that like

0:49:48.840 --> 0:49:51.799
<v Speaker 3>I vaguely know like follow it. So I was like,

0:49:51.840 --> 0:49:52.839
<v Speaker 3>maybe I should just go to.

0:49:52.800 --> 0:49:55.880
<v Speaker 1>This Are you are you going to this rave to

0:49:56.040 --> 0:49:57.240
<v Speaker 1>try to meet this lady?

0:49:58.320 --> 0:49:58.720
<v Speaker 4>No?

0:49:58.719 --> 0:50:02.239
<v Speaker 1>No, Well I'm curious, how does how does how does

0:50:02.480 --> 0:50:07.040
<v Speaker 1>how does the rave connect to this lady? Because it

0:50:07.040 --> 0:50:08.680
<v Speaker 1>sounds like you brought it up this lady for a reason.

0:50:08.760 --> 0:50:11.960
<v Speaker 3>Well, because she initially how did it posted? I had it?

0:50:12.239 --> 0:50:14.399
<v Speaker 3>She had it posted on her story like a month ago,

0:50:14.480 --> 0:50:15.399
<v Speaker 3>like leading up to it.

0:50:18.000 --> 0:50:21.080
<v Speaker 1>Oh, okay, you found out about it. Yeah, let's how

0:50:21.080 --> 0:50:22.480
<v Speaker 1>you found out about it.

0:50:22.480 --> 0:50:25.560
<v Speaker 3>It was just like super weird, Like I randomly saw

0:50:25.600 --> 0:50:27.799
<v Speaker 3>this chick and I was like, I feel like I've

0:50:27.840 --> 0:50:29.960
<v Speaker 3>seen you in like like in my head, I was like,

0:50:29.960 --> 0:50:33.360
<v Speaker 3>I feel like I've seen her been added or like

0:50:33.520 --> 0:50:36.840
<v Speaker 3>mentioned in post before. So I went onto my Instagram

0:50:36.880 --> 0:50:40.160
<v Speaker 3>and it was like it was her, which already sounds

0:50:40.200 --> 0:50:44.080
<v Speaker 3>creepy and random as fuck, but it was just like

0:50:44.120 --> 0:50:45.480
<v Speaker 3>a random, like chance thing.

0:50:46.040 --> 0:50:46.399
<v Speaker 2>Mm hmm.

0:50:47.680 --> 0:50:50.680
<v Speaker 3>Okay, but way, I just saw this brave. Should I

0:50:50.719 --> 0:50:52.479
<v Speaker 3>go to this ship? But like now I'm like, fuck,

0:50:52.920 --> 0:50:54.720
<v Speaker 3>I shouldn't go alone to that? That's kind of weird.

0:50:55.040 --> 0:50:57.000
<v Speaker 1>No, I well, I have I have I have multiple

0:51:00.040 --> 0:51:05.400
<v Speaker 1>I have multiple thoughts about this. Uh No, I well

0:51:05.440 --> 0:51:09.920
<v Speaker 1>I definitely I definitely think you should go alone to

0:51:10.000 --> 0:51:13.040
<v Speaker 1>the rave. Yeah, yeah, of course, Yeah, why do you

0:51:13.040 --> 0:51:13.640
<v Speaker 1>think you shouldn't?

0:51:14.480 --> 0:51:17.480
<v Speaker 3>That's not weird, Like no, it's not weird, like standing

0:51:18.080 --> 0:51:19.320
<v Speaker 3>like standing there alone?

0:51:20.360 --> 0:51:22.399
<v Speaker 1>Uh you can you can talk to people. It's a rave.

0:51:24.160 --> 0:51:25.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah yeah yeah.

0:51:25.600 --> 0:51:31.719
<v Speaker 1>Because here's because well, because well there's a here's a

0:51:31.719 --> 0:51:33.359
<v Speaker 1>bunch of things. I'm gonna tell you a bunch of things,

0:51:35.280 --> 0:51:44.000
<v Speaker 1>the like like the whole the whole like sex brain

0:51:44.800 --> 0:51:49.680
<v Speaker 1>combined with the internet thing and like the what like

0:51:49.719 --> 0:51:55.719
<v Speaker 1>the the ways it's throwing you around. I've been there,

0:51:56.520 --> 0:52:02.319
<v Speaker 1>A lot of people have been there, and I and

0:52:02.400 --> 0:52:06.279
<v Speaker 1>I've been like been there, like through multiple cycles in

0:52:06.320 --> 0:52:12.520
<v Speaker 1>my life, and the cycles in my life that i've

0:52:13.440 --> 0:52:21.200
<v Speaker 1>my brain has been there, Uh, I were not particularly productive.

0:52:23.680 --> 0:52:25.160
<v Speaker 1>And the cycles of my life where my brain was

0:52:25.280 --> 0:52:30.799
<v Speaker 1>not there are those cycles where I was actually creating

0:52:31.280 --> 0:52:34.200
<v Speaker 1>a version of my life and a version of myself

0:52:35.080 --> 0:52:38.160
<v Speaker 1>where I didn't even have to be there. Do you

0:52:38.160 --> 0:52:39.880
<v Speaker 1>know what I'm saying? Do you get what I'm saying?

0:52:40.800 --> 0:52:43.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, kind of kind of okay.

0:52:42.600 --> 0:52:54.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, And and so what you sound like you kind

0:52:54.760 --> 0:52:59.239
<v Speaker 1>of need is like a bit of a win in

0:52:59.360 --> 0:53:02.480
<v Speaker 1>terms of No, I'm not saying you got to go

0:53:02.520 --> 0:53:05.120
<v Speaker 1>to this rave and get laid or whatever, but I

0:53:05.160 --> 0:53:07.799
<v Speaker 1>do think it would be helpful for you to bare

0:53:08.000 --> 0:53:13.399
<v Speaker 1>minimum have a little reminder to your sometimes if that's

0:53:13.400 --> 0:53:15.280
<v Speaker 1>what you need, is like a little reminder to yourself

0:53:16.920 --> 0:53:27.759
<v Speaker 1>that you exist and you have social competence. And you're

0:53:27.800 --> 0:53:30.000
<v Speaker 1>not gonna get that reminder by staying in your house,

0:53:30.040 --> 0:53:31.960
<v Speaker 1>and you're not gonna get that reminder by looking somebody

0:53:32.080 --> 0:53:34.120
<v Speaker 1>up on Instagram, and you're not gonna get that reminder

0:53:34.560 --> 0:53:39.120
<v Speaker 1>by buying photos of your X on Instagram. You're really

0:53:39.120 --> 0:53:42.800
<v Speaker 1>only going to get that reminder by like challenging yourself

0:53:42.800 --> 0:53:46.000
<v Speaker 1>to do something kind of uncomfortable and then doing it,

0:53:46.160 --> 0:53:49.759
<v Speaker 1>and then you just prove to yourself, Oh hey, I

0:53:49.760 --> 0:53:52.640
<v Speaker 1>actually if I forgot I knew how to bro, you

0:53:52.680 --> 0:53:56.200
<v Speaker 1>can spend have done this, dude. You can spend dude.

0:53:56.200 --> 0:53:59.200
<v Speaker 1>You can spend two weeks in your house fucking gooning

0:53:59.280 --> 0:54:02.960
<v Speaker 1>and then uh here and then go outside and be

0:54:03.080 --> 0:54:05.439
<v Speaker 1>and then talk to someone and be like, oh shit,

0:54:05.480 --> 0:54:07.480
<v Speaker 1>I forgot that. I'm like an actual human being and

0:54:07.480 --> 0:54:10.040
<v Speaker 1>I know how to talk to people. I know it exists.

0:54:10.520 --> 0:54:13.359
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I've been like drawing, like in random parks, just

0:54:13.400 --> 0:54:16.719
<v Speaker 3>like to like just like be outside, like not in

0:54:16.760 --> 0:54:17.239
<v Speaker 3>my room.

0:54:17.600 --> 0:54:20.120
<v Speaker 1>So this rave to me, I please, like don't go

0:54:20.160 --> 0:54:21.799
<v Speaker 1>to the rave being like I'm gonna meet this girl,

0:54:21.840 --> 0:54:23.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna get laid, but but like go into it.

0:54:24.760 --> 0:54:26.080
<v Speaker 3>I'm not weird like that, Like I.

0:54:26.040 --> 0:54:27.360
<v Speaker 1>Don't think you are. I don't think you are, but

0:54:27.400 --> 0:54:30.440
<v Speaker 1>I just like just go into it, being like, here's

0:54:30.440 --> 0:54:33.360
<v Speaker 1>an opportunity for me to remind myself that I know

0:54:33.480 --> 0:54:35.520
<v Speaker 1>how to connect with other people, and I know how

0:54:35.520 --> 0:54:37.600
<v Speaker 1>to connect with the world around me at large, and

0:54:37.640 --> 0:54:41.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't have to like be in my room alone

0:54:42.120 --> 0:54:50.480
<v Speaker 1>doing whatever thing I'm ashamed of myself for doing you know, yeah, yeah,

0:54:50.800 --> 0:54:51.560
<v Speaker 1>does that make sense?

0:54:52.680 --> 0:54:52.879
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

0:54:53.000 --> 0:54:55.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So you know go and but and if you go,

0:54:56.040 --> 0:54:57.359
<v Speaker 1>and if you try to if you go, when you

0:54:57.360 --> 0:55:00.400
<v Speaker 1>try to talk to people and you get like ejected

0:55:00.480 --> 0:55:03.319
<v Speaker 1>or feels weird, and you have a little impulse within

0:55:03.400 --> 0:55:07.480
<v Speaker 1>you that's telling you like, why am I alone? I'm weird?

0:55:07.520 --> 0:55:10.279
<v Speaker 1>This is weird. I'm like, I'm like I.

0:55:10.560 --> 0:55:13.200
<v Speaker 3>Just kind of like to see people that I know,

0:55:13.440 --> 0:55:15.680
<v Speaker 3>you know what I'm saying, Like, Okay, people that were

0:55:16.000 --> 0:55:18.680
<v Speaker 3>friends with my ex like follow the account that's been

0:55:18.680 --> 0:55:22.360
<v Speaker 3>posting about it, so okay, and they've been like liking

0:55:22.400 --> 0:55:24.520
<v Speaker 3>the post, and it's like, oh, like I really don't

0:55:24.520 --> 0:55:25.360
<v Speaker 3>want to see these people.

0:55:25.600 --> 0:55:26.879
<v Speaker 1>Okay, then you don't have to go to that rate.

0:55:26.920 --> 0:55:29.120
<v Speaker 1>But like like you have some instinct within you that

0:55:29.160 --> 0:55:35.880
<v Speaker 1>wants to like be out, you know, yeah.

0:55:36.480 --> 0:55:36.640
<v Speaker 2>So.

0:55:38.840 --> 0:55:41.600
<v Speaker 1>Do that follow go wherever that instinct tells you to go.

0:55:42.200 --> 0:55:45.080
<v Speaker 1>And again, if you're out and you're talking to people

0:55:45.120 --> 0:55:47.600
<v Speaker 1>and you like feel a little rebuffed, and you have

0:55:47.719 --> 0:55:49.960
<v Speaker 1>this thing and your brain that's telling you, like, I

0:55:49.960 --> 0:55:54.080
<v Speaker 1>feel weird being here alone. I don't. I feel like

0:55:54.080 --> 0:55:58.839
<v Speaker 1>like I feel deeply uncomfortable, like like try as hard

0:55:58.840 --> 0:56:02.840
<v Speaker 1>as you possibly can to push past that because only

0:56:02.960 --> 0:56:05.920
<v Speaker 1>I just I really believe and it's I'm telling you

0:56:06.000 --> 0:56:08.680
<v Speaker 1>it's it's so much easier said than done. But on

0:56:08.760 --> 0:56:14.759
<v Speaker 1>the other side of that, I really believe that on

0:56:14.840 --> 0:56:18.399
<v Speaker 1>the other side of that is some win for you,

0:56:18.560 --> 0:56:22.680
<v Speaker 1>some evening for you, something happening for you that you

0:56:22.760 --> 0:56:29.000
<v Speaker 1>just you go home being like, Okay, I remember, like

0:56:29.400 --> 0:56:33.239
<v Speaker 1>who I am when I'm not like addicted to ah,

0:56:34.000 --> 0:56:40.319
<v Speaker 1>whatever the things I'm addicted to are, or like, I

0:56:40.400 --> 0:56:42.279
<v Speaker 1>just remember that I have some kind that I have

0:56:42.320 --> 0:56:46.120
<v Speaker 1>the ability to exist as a normal human being. Is

0:56:46.280 --> 0:56:48.120
<v Speaker 1>am I is anything I'm saying resonating with you?

0:56:48.400 --> 0:56:50.399
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, I'm just listening to you. You're you're you're

0:56:50.400 --> 0:56:51.040
<v Speaker 3>making sense.

0:56:51.280 --> 0:56:55.640
<v Speaker 1>Okay, good, So you know, don't put any pressure on it,

0:56:55.680 --> 0:56:58.719
<v Speaker 1>but yeah, you're something within you wants to go out

0:56:58.760 --> 0:57:02.000
<v Speaker 1>and be amongst society. So I I know, whether or

0:57:02.000 --> 0:57:04.520
<v Speaker 1>not you go to this rave or you go to

0:57:04.600 --> 0:57:07.960
<v Speaker 1>a fucking pinball tournament doesn't matter to me, but uh,

0:57:08.640 --> 0:57:11.840
<v Speaker 1>I think it's good to follow that instinct.

0:57:13.160 --> 0:57:15.680
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think I just need to like talk to

0:57:15.680 --> 0:57:18.000
<v Speaker 3>people because like when I like saw that random chick,

0:57:18.640 --> 0:57:20.480
<v Speaker 3>like I think I just need like attention from a

0:57:20.520 --> 0:57:22.760
<v Speaker 3>woman right now, because like I saw her and I

0:57:22.800 --> 0:57:25.520
<v Speaker 3>was like, I was like, this girl's like like like

0:57:25.560 --> 0:57:28.320
<v Speaker 3>a like like dead ass, like a ten and she

0:57:28.440 --> 0:57:31.040
<v Speaker 3>like glanced at me and fixed her hair and that

0:57:31.040 --> 0:57:33.520
<v Speaker 3>that was like euphoric. Like I was like thinking about

0:57:33.560 --> 0:57:34.200
<v Speaker 3>that for days.

0:57:34.240 --> 0:57:38.200
<v Speaker 1>You know, dude, it's so god. I want to I

0:57:38.280 --> 0:57:42.600
<v Speaker 1>wish I could. I wish I could cut up in

0:57:42.680 --> 0:57:55.200
<v Speaker 1>your brain and rewire it. Dude. It's so contradictory or whatnot.

0:57:55.360 --> 0:57:55.800
<v Speaker 2>But like.

0:57:58.080 --> 0:58:01.560
<v Speaker 1>It's so it's so contradictory, but you gotta at like, yeah,

0:58:01.560 --> 0:58:08.920
<v Speaker 1>I know what you mean, but you gotta somehow get

0:58:08.960 --> 0:58:12.320
<v Speaker 1>yourself to a place where you don't feel like you

0:58:13.600 --> 0:58:25.920
<v Speaker 1>need that, because I know it's so cliche, but it

0:58:26.400 --> 0:58:28.120
<v Speaker 1>is true that once you get to the point where

0:58:28.120 --> 0:58:29.880
<v Speaker 1>you don't need that, you start to you start to

0:58:29.920 --> 0:58:32.600
<v Speaker 1>just like feel healthy because like, yeah, of court, like right, yeah,

0:58:32.600 --> 0:58:36.560
<v Speaker 1>because if you're like, you know, gooning and you're like

0:58:36.920 --> 0:58:42.640
<v Speaker 1>freaking out and you're like anxious and you're depressed, then yeah,

0:58:42.680 --> 0:58:45.760
<v Speaker 1>of course something in your brain is gonna be like

0:58:46.360 --> 0:58:48.840
<v Speaker 1>all I fucking need to exist right now is the

0:58:48.840 --> 0:58:53.560
<v Speaker 1>attention of a of a woman, And it's so paradoxical

0:58:53.640 --> 0:59:01.160
<v Speaker 1>because it's operating from that place that that like like

0:59:01.240 --> 0:59:05.360
<v Speaker 1>fucks you in a way, you know. So yeah, yeah,

0:59:06.480 --> 0:59:08.360
<v Speaker 1>yeah yeah. And I'm telling you this because I've like

0:59:09.080 --> 0:59:16.120
<v Speaker 1>been like in the cycles of it before. But like, uh, yeah,

0:59:16.120 --> 0:59:20.360
<v Speaker 1>you got to rewire yourself to a point where you're

0:59:20.400 --> 0:59:24.760
<v Speaker 1>just like a happy and content with your life, and

0:59:24.760 --> 0:59:27.480
<v Speaker 1>then you can build so much of a foundation upon

0:59:27.640 --> 0:59:32.800
<v Speaker 1>that that will ultimately and invertently can get can uh

0:59:33.480 --> 0:59:37.160
<v Speaker 1>you know, allow allow you to be in positions where

0:59:37.200 --> 0:59:40.560
<v Speaker 1>you will naturally find yourself with the attention of of

0:59:40.600 --> 0:59:42.320
<v Speaker 1>a of a of a of a lady.

0:59:42.440 --> 0:59:42.640
<v Speaker 2>You know.

0:59:43.880 --> 0:59:45.200
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. And I kind of just got to figure my

0:59:45.200 --> 0:59:48.160
<v Speaker 3>shit out because I was like content with my ex

0:59:49.600 --> 0:59:53.320
<v Speaker 3>but I wasn't really doing anything, Like I was just

0:59:53.320 --> 0:59:55.720
<v Speaker 3>like working my job, hanging out with friends, like doing whatever.

0:59:55.840 --> 0:59:59.720
<v Speaker 3>Like I feel like if I just end up in

0:59:59.760 --> 1:00:03.000
<v Speaker 3>another a relationship, I'll just like go back to that,

1:00:03.800 --> 1:00:04.760
<v Speaker 3>you know what I'm saying.

1:00:04.560 --> 1:00:10.560
<v Speaker 1>Like, yeah, exactly, no, dude, yeah, yeah exactly. That's why

1:00:10.800 --> 1:00:13.400
<v Speaker 1>you that's why you get Yeah, it's why you gotta

1:00:13.400 --> 1:00:16.400
<v Speaker 1>find something for yourself right now that will just allow

1:00:16.480 --> 1:00:27.080
<v Speaker 1>you to be like okay with breathing. You're still there?

1:00:28.360 --> 1:00:28.560
<v Speaker 3>Yeap?

1:00:30.680 --> 1:00:31.320
<v Speaker 1>Was this helpful?

1:00:32.680 --> 1:00:37.320
<v Speaker 3>This was very helpful. You've done a lot different on

1:00:37.360 --> 1:00:37.960
<v Speaker 3>the fun.

1:00:40.240 --> 1:00:42.240
<v Speaker 1>I guess I wouldn't know because I've never talked well,

1:00:42.240 --> 1:00:45.480
<v Speaker 1>I talked to myself a lot, but I've never on

1:00:45.480 --> 1:00:52.920
<v Speaker 1>the phone. All right, Well, Devin, good luck, Devon. I

1:00:52.920 --> 1:00:57.640
<v Speaker 1>believe in you. Thanks h I'll see you around the universe.

1:00:57.680 --> 1:01:07.000
<v Speaker 1>Good luck. Yeah, that was Devn. That was Devin. I

1:01:07.000 --> 1:01:09.120
<v Speaker 1>gotta go to Montreal at some point. Montreal seems like

1:01:09.160 --> 1:01:13.680
<v Speaker 1>a fun, cool place to exist. Should I go to Montreal?

1:01:14.680 --> 1:01:18.640
<v Speaker 1>Should I eat a donut in Montreal out of Tim Horton's?

1:01:19.720 --> 1:01:20.480
<v Speaker 1>That sounds fun?

1:01:21.440 --> 1:01:24.680
<v Speaker 3>Hello? Hello, what's up?

1:01:25.360 --> 1:01:26.480
<v Speaker 4>Is this a get go?

1:01:27.160 --> 1:01:27.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh?

1:01:27.360 --> 1:01:28.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? What's your name?

1:01:29.880 --> 1:01:31.240
<v Speaker 4>My name's James, Dude.

1:01:31.800 --> 1:01:32.600
<v Speaker 2>Good to talk to you.

1:01:33.080 --> 1:01:34.760
<v Speaker 1>Good to talk to you too, James. What's going on

1:01:34.840 --> 1:01:37.000
<v Speaker 1>with you today?

1:01:37.400 --> 1:01:37.520
<v Speaker 2>Uh?

1:01:39.680 --> 1:01:39.800
<v Speaker 5>Uh?

1:01:40.040 --> 1:01:40.280
<v Speaker 2>Fuck?

1:01:40.400 --> 1:01:44.080
<v Speaker 4>Man, I mean nothing too specific today. I'm seeing the

1:01:44.160 --> 1:01:45.560
<v Speaker 4>Chainsaw Man movie later.

1:01:45.680 --> 1:01:46.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm pretty happed about that.

1:01:47.160 --> 1:01:49.000
<v Speaker 1>What's the Chainsaw Man movie?

1:01:50.880 --> 1:01:55.080
<v Speaker 4>So there's this anime that came out like I don't

1:01:55.120 --> 1:01:56.800
<v Speaker 4>even know how long ago. Now, it might be like

1:01:56.840 --> 1:01:58.800
<v Speaker 4>four years ago. I think it came out in like

1:01:58.840 --> 1:02:02.600
<v Speaker 4>twenty twenty Uh, it's based on a manga, as most

1:02:02.760 --> 1:02:06.920
<v Speaker 4>anime is, and as the the movies coming out or

1:02:07.000 --> 1:02:09.040
<v Speaker 4>came out yesterday I think, and some of me and

1:02:09.080 --> 1:02:10.560
<v Speaker 4>my girlfriend are gonna go see it tonight.

1:02:11.720 --> 1:02:15.640
<v Speaker 1>Cool, very good. Uh wait, is that the one with

1:02:15.720 --> 1:02:16.120
<v Speaker 1>the dog?

1:02:17.760 --> 1:02:23.200
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, dude, he's got like a an orange like chainsaw

1:02:23.280 --> 1:02:23.840
<v Speaker 4>dog thing.

1:02:23.920 --> 1:02:27.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's got like the like the equals three face

1:02:27.080 --> 1:02:28.120
<v Speaker 2>almost you know what I'm saying.

1:02:30.080 --> 1:02:32.840
<v Speaker 1>Does the does he does the chainsaw Man? Okay, so

1:02:32.840 --> 1:02:35.280
<v Speaker 1>I've seen that dog before, the chainsaw Dog. I always

1:02:35.320 --> 1:02:38.280
<v Speaker 1>thought that the dog is the main character. But there's

1:02:38.320 --> 1:02:41.520
<v Speaker 1>a man and he does he use the dog as

1:02:41.520 --> 1:02:42.240
<v Speaker 1>a chainsaw?

1:02:43.760 --> 1:02:44.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

1:02:44.160 --> 1:02:47.520
<v Speaker 4>So all right, So spoilers for Chainsaw Man for sure,

1:02:48.000 --> 1:02:53.360
<v Speaker 4>for you know, anyone listening. But so he initially he's

1:02:53.400 --> 1:02:56.200
<v Speaker 4>in debt to the mob and he uses the dog

1:02:56.800 --> 1:03:00.240
<v Speaker 4>as a chainsaw to kill these devils to sell to

1:03:00.280 --> 1:03:06.120
<v Speaker 4>the mob for money. But then he ends up getting

1:03:06.240 --> 1:03:12.240
<v Speaker 4>like the dude, the man gets dismembered and the dog

1:03:12.440 --> 1:03:15.280
<v Speaker 4>like fuses with his heart and he becomes like this

1:03:15.520 --> 1:03:21.080
<v Speaker 4>like crazy like chainsaw head, like chainsaw arms, chainsaw everything

1:03:21.120 --> 1:03:23.080
<v Speaker 4>pretty much man, chainsaw Man.

1:03:23.160 --> 1:03:25.960
<v Speaker 2>It's you know, m hmm.

1:03:27.640 --> 1:03:33.080
<v Speaker 1>Interesting have you ever seen The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

1:03:34.320 --> 1:03:36.360
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you know what, I actually just saw that for

1:03:36.400 --> 1:03:40.480
<v Speaker 4>the first time. I was pretty shocked because I'm into

1:03:41.760 --> 1:03:45.760
<v Speaker 4>like slasher movies and shit, but i'd never seen that one,

1:03:45.960 --> 1:03:48.680
<v Speaker 4>and obviously it's pretty influential for the whole genre. So

1:03:48.720 --> 1:03:50.280
<v Speaker 4>I don't know why I never got around to it,

1:03:50.880 --> 1:03:54.760
<v Speaker 4>but it had a pretty like on the nose anti

1:03:54.920 --> 1:03:57.040
<v Speaker 4>violence sentiment, at least to me.

1:03:57.400 --> 1:04:01.320
<v Speaker 1>You know, wait, you're telling me that the Texas chains

1:04:01.400 --> 1:04:03.400
<v Speaker 1>I've never I don't think I've ever actually seen it.

1:04:03.720 --> 1:04:05.080
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I just know about it. It's a pop

1:04:05.080 --> 1:04:07.480
<v Speaker 1>culture thing. You're telling me that the movie itself has

1:04:07.520 --> 1:04:09.360
<v Speaker 1>an anti violence sentiment.

1:04:10.520 --> 1:04:13.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, so, okay, here's what I'm gonna say. I don't

1:04:13.120 --> 1:04:19.160
<v Speaker 4>know that it's necessarily like completely on the nose anti violence,

1:04:19.200 --> 1:04:21.120
<v Speaker 4>even though I just said that, because obviously it's a

1:04:21.160 --> 1:04:25.880
<v Speaker 4>slasher movie. But the whole thing is like framed around

1:04:26.000 --> 1:04:31.439
<v Speaker 4>this idea where like the movie opens and they talk

1:04:31.520 --> 1:04:35.560
<v Speaker 4>about like how fucked up it is that uh, like

1:04:35.680 --> 1:04:38.560
<v Speaker 4>cattle used to get killed with sledgehammers, like they'd hit

1:04:38.640 --> 1:04:41.920
<v Speaker 4>him in the head and then they'd like be like

1:04:42.000 --> 1:04:45.280
<v Speaker 4>seizing up or whatever, Like how inhumane that was, and

1:04:45.320 --> 1:04:47.800
<v Speaker 4>then they talk about how like, you know, it's still

1:04:47.840 --> 1:04:50.680
<v Speaker 4>inhumane to do it with the bolt gun, but not

1:04:50.760 --> 1:04:55.520
<v Speaker 4>everyone agrees, and they show like the you know, like

1:04:55.560 --> 1:04:58.400
<v Speaker 4>they show the cows and whatever, so I think the

1:04:58.520 --> 1:04:59.080
<v Speaker 4>point of it.

1:04:59.160 --> 1:05:00.800
<v Speaker 2>And then when people.

1:05:00.480 --> 1:05:03.600
<v Speaker 4>Get killed, there's only you know, there's only one dude

1:05:03.640 --> 1:05:05.919
<v Speaker 4>that actually gets killed with the chainsaw on that movie.

1:05:05.920 --> 1:05:08.080
<v Speaker 4>The rest of them get hit in the head with hammers.

1:05:09.000 --> 1:05:12.080
<v Speaker 1>Do they show the guy getting like how graphic is.

1:05:12.000 --> 1:05:15.800
<v Speaker 4>The well, that's the thing. Also, the first one from

1:05:15.840 --> 1:05:17.200
<v Speaker 4>like the I don't know if it was from the

1:05:17.240 --> 1:05:20.080
<v Speaker 4>early seventies of the sixties or even the late seventies,

1:05:20.080 --> 1:05:21.880
<v Speaker 4>I guess I don't really know when it came out,

1:05:22.040 --> 1:05:26.480
<v Speaker 4>but they it literally like the one dude that actually

1:05:26.520 --> 1:05:28.720
<v Speaker 4>gets killed with a chainsaw, you only see it from behind.

1:05:29.560 --> 1:05:34.600
<v Speaker 4>The most graphic that movie gets dude is probably the

1:05:34.640 --> 1:05:38.320
<v Speaker 4>first kill of the whole thing. The dude gets he

1:05:38.360 --> 1:05:40.920
<v Speaker 4>gets bonked on the head and starts like season up.

1:05:40.960 --> 1:05:44.479
<v Speaker 4>It's pretty fucked up. But other than that, like, yeah,

1:05:44.560 --> 1:05:46.680
<v Speaker 4>there's like a chick that comes out of a freezer

1:05:46.920 --> 1:05:49.920
<v Speaker 4>and that wouldn't be pleasant, but it's not like particularly graphic,

1:05:50.000 --> 1:05:50.320
<v Speaker 4>you know.

1:05:51.800 --> 1:05:56.560
<v Speaker 1>I guess the Texas Hammer massacre doesn't have the same

1:05:57.480 --> 1:06:01.040
<v Speaker 1>ring to it, but that is the movie. Yeah, you

1:06:01.320 --> 1:06:02.840
<v Speaker 1>call that in production.

1:06:05.120 --> 1:06:06.640
<v Speaker 5>That's hysterical.

1:06:06.680 --> 1:06:09.479
<v Speaker 4>Holy shit, can you imagine? I don't think it would

1:06:09.480 --> 1:06:14.120
<v Speaker 4>have become the phenomenon that it was, but I'll say

1:06:14.520 --> 1:06:19.600
<v Speaker 4>the you know, there's like it's actually kind of hysterical

1:06:19.680 --> 1:06:23.840
<v Speaker 4>that there's like probably fifteen minutes of chainsaw chase in

1:06:23.840 --> 1:06:27.720
<v Speaker 4>that movie. That's literally just like a woman running through

1:06:27.760 --> 1:06:31.000
<v Speaker 4>the woods and dudes streaming and running after with a

1:06:31.080 --> 1:06:33.600
<v Speaker 4>chainsaw and they do that for like fifteen minutes.

1:06:35.360 --> 1:06:37.600
<v Speaker 1>Well, James, let me ask you, is there anything in

1:06:37.600 --> 1:06:39.600
<v Speaker 1>particular that you called in to want to talk about

1:06:39.600 --> 1:06:43.160
<v Speaker 1>today or is just shooting the shit dude?

1:06:43.200 --> 1:06:49.080
<v Speaker 4>I gotta be honest, like, I'm it's just crazy that

1:06:49.160 --> 1:06:51.120
<v Speaker 4>you picked up you know what I mean. I do

1:06:51.200 --> 1:06:55.040
<v Speaker 4>want to say, I'm right now, I'm in grad school.

1:06:55.040 --> 1:07:01.400
<v Speaker 4>I'm getting a doctorate in clinical and school psychology, and

1:07:02.920 --> 1:07:05.040
<v Speaker 4>I don't know, like I I found out about you

1:07:05.120 --> 1:07:07.360
<v Speaker 4>an undergrad man and listening to a lot of the

1:07:07.360 --> 1:07:10.520
<v Speaker 4>calls that you do, it's it's it's been really inspiring

1:07:10.600 --> 1:07:16.080
<v Speaker 4>to hear how people open up, even in environments that

1:07:16.560 --> 1:07:19.680
<v Speaker 4>you know, aren't necessarily like closed and how you'd think

1:07:19.720 --> 1:07:20.240
<v Speaker 4>of therapy.

1:07:21.000 --> 1:07:21.200
<v Speaker 3>Uh.

1:07:21.240 --> 1:07:22.320
<v Speaker 2>And I think, just like.

1:07:22.320 --> 1:07:24.880
<v Speaker 4>With everything that I've been learning, I think the questions

1:07:24.880 --> 1:07:27.240
<v Speaker 4>that you ask or are really insightful.

1:07:27.840 --> 1:07:31.880
<v Speaker 1>Oh thanks, man, I appreciate that. Hmmm. Well, okay, what's

1:07:32.000 --> 1:07:35.560
<v Speaker 1>what how's your journey in clinical psychology going.

1:07:37.360 --> 1:07:39.600
<v Speaker 4>It's going pretty good so far. I mean, you know,

1:07:39.680 --> 1:07:43.040
<v Speaker 4>obviously I'm I'm really interested in everything that I end

1:07:43.160 --> 1:07:48.800
<v Speaker 4>up learning. But the at some point, like you know,

1:07:48.880 --> 1:07:51.920
<v Speaker 4>once you hit the terminal.

1:07:51.520 --> 1:07:56.080
<v Speaker 2>Degree level, they're like, well, read these.

1:07:56.040 --> 1:07:59.440
<v Speaker 4>Like literally like three hundred pages a week, and it's

1:07:59.520 --> 1:08:01.680
<v Speaker 4>kind of the ryest shit you've ever read in your life.

1:08:01.800 --> 1:08:04.919
<v Speaker 4>And a lot of it, at least for this because

1:08:04.960 --> 1:08:07.680
<v Speaker 4>I just entered my first semester, a lot of it

1:08:07.760 --> 1:08:12.480
<v Speaker 4>right now is just like dry ass like New York

1:08:12.640 --> 1:08:15.960
<v Speaker 4>State like legislative shit that you need to know to

1:08:16.040 --> 1:08:17.280
<v Speaker 4>make sure that you don't get sued.

1:08:17.360 --> 1:08:22.000
<v Speaker 1>You know, yeah, that sounds important to not you know,

1:08:22.080 --> 1:08:24.040
<v Speaker 1>do it in a way that you know, to do

1:08:24.120 --> 1:08:25.519
<v Speaker 1>it in a way that's not illegal.

1:08:26.960 --> 1:08:29.960
<v Speaker 4>Oh yeah, one hundred percent, because I mean, if you

1:08:30.080 --> 1:08:33.559
<v Speaker 4>do it in a way that's illegal, because uh, you're

1:08:33.600 --> 1:08:36.000
<v Speaker 4>you end up practicing under the light the licenses of

1:08:36.400 --> 1:08:40.439
<v Speaker 4>some of your professors in this program, you know, they're

1:08:40.479 --> 1:08:42.600
<v Speaker 4>on the hook, so it's not just you. And on

1:08:42.680 --> 1:08:44.559
<v Speaker 4>top of that, like if you're not doing it the

1:08:44.560 --> 1:08:46.760
<v Speaker 4>way that you're supposed to, you could be fucking up

1:08:46.800 --> 1:08:49.800
<v Speaker 4>a client, you know. So it's definitely a big deal.

1:08:50.320 --> 1:08:54.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, totally. Hm hmmm. Uh what do you think of

1:08:54.680 --> 1:09:00.439
<v Speaker 1>the psychological ramifications of getting hit really hard in the

1:09:00.479 --> 1:09:02.560
<v Speaker 1>head with a hammer?

1:09:03.600 --> 1:09:10.080
<v Speaker 5>I would say, uh, if you end up dead, there's

1:09:10.200 --> 1:09:14.280
<v Speaker 5>not much psychological ramifications because you just be dead at

1:09:14.280 --> 1:09:14.759
<v Speaker 5>that point.

1:09:14.920 --> 1:09:18.520
<v Speaker 1>Wouldn't psychological ramification dead deadness?

1:09:19.600 --> 1:09:23.200
<v Speaker 4>Now you're getting philosophical, man, you know, because like if

1:09:23.240 --> 1:09:26.240
<v Speaker 4>there's nothing to am, like if you can't think, are

1:09:26.280 --> 1:09:26.800
<v Speaker 4>you am?

1:09:26.920 --> 1:09:29.360
<v Speaker 2>You know? Oh?

1:09:29.760 --> 1:09:32.439
<v Speaker 1>Yeah that's true. Yeah, Life's for the living.

1:09:35.400 --> 1:09:38.240
<v Speaker 4>Life is for the living, dude, life is for the living.

1:09:39.000 --> 1:09:39.439
<v Speaker 2>Are you.

1:09:40.960 --> 1:09:43.479
<v Speaker 4>I got to actually ask you, man, because you know,

1:09:43.520 --> 1:09:46.000
<v Speaker 4>I've definitely listened to to a bunch of the podcast,

1:09:46.120 --> 1:09:50.360
<v Speaker 4>but I'm wondering did you look into like any like

1:09:50.360 --> 1:09:52.559
<v Speaker 4>like how to be an effective therapist or anything before

1:09:52.600 --> 1:09:53.080
<v Speaker 4>you started?

1:09:53.080 --> 1:09:58.599
<v Speaker 1>It's not that, like, you know, absolutely not, absolutely not. No, No,

1:09:58.760 --> 1:10:01.760
<v Speaker 1>I'm not. I don'm not even I'm not even I'm

1:10:01.760 --> 1:10:04.680
<v Speaker 1>not really trying to even be a therapist or like

1:10:04.880 --> 1:10:08.639
<v Speaker 1>anything like that. I'm just, uh, I'm just talking.

1:10:08.479 --> 1:10:14.200
<v Speaker 4>About your Yeah, well that's good. Did you look into Yeah.

1:10:13.760 --> 1:10:18.559
<v Speaker 1>Well, I don't, like I don't know, like sometimes I

1:10:18.680 --> 1:10:22.000
<v Speaker 1>just like be talking to somebody in like my actual life.

1:10:22.680 --> 1:10:25.320
<v Speaker 1>There's a big pet peeve of mine. I'll be like

1:10:25.360 --> 1:10:27.479
<v Speaker 1>talking to someone in my actual life and then they

1:10:27.560 --> 1:10:30.240
<v Speaker 1>look at me and they're like, are you doing your

1:10:30.360 --> 1:10:33.320
<v Speaker 1>therapy gecko thing on me right now? And I'm like no,

1:10:33.360 --> 1:10:37.479
<v Speaker 1>I'm just it's just it's just I have a natural

1:10:38.240 --> 1:10:43.599
<v Speaker 1>curiosity for certain things that I guess end up steering

1:10:43.640 --> 1:10:49.200
<v Speaker 1>themselves towards, uh something therapy. E. But it's not like

1:10:49.600 --> 1:10:54.240
<v Speaker 1>an intentional practice of therapy. I mean, I'm just really trying.

1:10:54.240 --> 1:10:57.479
<v Speaker 1>I'm just really like chatting with people, you know. I'm

1:10:57.520 --> 1:11:01.439
<v Speaker 1>just like, uh, it's it's just an interesting way to

1:11:01.479 --> 1:11:07.080
<v Speaker 1>like connect with people and kind of share little slices

1:11:07.120 --> 1:11:11.559
<v Speaker 1>of everyone's life and uh put put them on paper

1:11:11.600 --> 1:11:14.519
<v Speaker 1>plates and hand them ount to whoever the fuck is listening,

1:11:14.560 --> 1:11:14.800
<v Speaker 1>you know.

1:11:16.560 --> 1:11:19.639
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I mean, dude, I think you'd be surprised at

1:11:19.800 --> 1:11:24.559
<v Speaker 4>like how close you get to to really like effective therapy,

1:11:24.680 --> 1:11:27.200
<v Speaker 4>especially for like first sessions and shit. Like what we're

1:11:27.240 --> 1:11:29.519
<v Speaker 4>learning right now, or at least what I'm learning in

1:11:29.800 --> 1:11:33.400
<v Speaker 4>one of my classes is about the first stage, which

1:11:33.439 --> 1:11:38.240
<v Speaker 4>is like exploration, you know, and pretty much you know

1:11:38.880 --> 1:11:41.640
<v Speaker 4>there there's more specifics than this, but on like a

1:11:41.640 --> 1:11:44.320
<v Speaker 4>base level, one of the main things is just having

1:11:44.439 --> 1:11:51.280
<v Speaker 4>like openness and honesty and curiosity about what everybody brings

1:11:51.280 --> 1:11:54.240
<v Speaker 4>to the table and what people want to talk about.

1:11:54.400 --> 1:11:57.800
<v Speaker 4>And I think that, I mean, you really, you really

1:11:57.800 --> 1:12:01.000
<v Speaker 4>have that in droves. It's it's pretty impressive.

1:12:01.680 --> 1:12:08.960
<v Speaker 1>Thanks man. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I'm

1:12:09.040 --> 1:12:11.880
<v Speaker 1>naturally curious about things, except when I get burnt out.

1:12:12.200 --> 1:12:16.840
<v Speaker 1>Like in my I always feel like I have like

1:12:16.840 --> 1:12:20.960
<v Speaker 1>like five different versions of myself and I don't know

1:12:20.960 --> 1:12:23.840
<v Speaker 1>if any I don't believe in any of them to

1:12:23.880 --> 1:12:27.799
<v Speaker 1>be like the true one. There's definitely one. There's definitely

1:12:27.880 --> 1:12:30.360
<v Speaker 1>versions of myself that I'm more proud of than others,

1:12:30.360 --> 1:12:32.600
<v Speaker 1>that I like more than others. But I think that

1:12:32.640 --> 1:12:39.080
<v Speaker 1>they all come together to make you know me, And

1:12:39.360 --> 1:12:41.599
<v Speaker 1>I think I have versions of myself that are very

1:12:42.760 --> 1:12:49.439
<v Speaker 1>curious and like to engage and be with people, and

1:12:51.360 --> 1:12:54.120
<v Speaker 1>you know it is optimistic and whatnot. And I think

1:12:54.160 --> 1:12:59.160
<v Speaker 1>when when I'm channeling that, you know, I can be

1:13:00.960 --> 1:13:03.200
<v Speaker 1>yeah effective at some shit like that. But then I

1:13:03.240 --> 1:13:05.479
<v Speaker 1>also asked that versions of myself that just would fucking

1:13:05.520 --> 1:13:07.920
<v Speaker 1>don't want to fucking talk to anyone or do anything

1:13:07.920 --> 1:13:10.840
<v Speaker 1>and you know, burnt out. It depends who shows up

1:13:10.880 --> 1:13:11.880
<v Speaker 1>that day, you know what I'm saying.

1:13:13.000 --> 1:13:16.040
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, man, I get that too. And you know, I

1:13:16.920 --> 1:13:19.439
<v Speaker 4>don't know if it's necessarily a cliche, but it's kind

1:13:19.439 --> 1:13:21.439
<v Speaker 4>of like a bumper sticker but the whole like we

1:13:21.479 --> 1:13:23.080
<v Speaker 4>contain multitudes type of thing.

1:13:23.439 --> 1:13:27.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I think that.

1:13:25.920 --> 1:13:30.000
<v Speaker 4>That definitely applies. You said when you said you you

1:13:30.080 --> 1:13:33.360
<v Speaker 4>have five, do you like know specific Like is that

1:13:33.400 --> 1:13:35.360
<v Speaker 4>specific or are you just like picking a number?

1:13:35.520 --> 1:13:38.000
<v Speaker 1>No, I was throwing a number out there. It's probably

1:13:38.120 --> 1:13:38.960
<v Speaker 1>specifically five.

1:13:40.080 --> 1:13:40.280
<v Speaker 2>I know.

1:13:40.360 --> 1:13:42.479
<v Speaker 4>I was wondering if you had like a like a

1:13:42.520 --> 1:13:46.040
<v Speaker 4>specific like, man, there's like five moods that could be.

1:13:46.080 --> 1:13:50.080
<v Speaker 1>In I could run. That would be an interesting practice

1:13:50.439 --> 1:13:56.439
<v Speaker 1>to try to like identify them and write them down. Yeah, yeah,

1:13:56.479 --> 1:13:58.559
<v Speaker 1>that would be an interesting practice to like see if

1:13:58.560 --> 1:14:03.439
<v Speaker 1>I can identify them and write them down. That would

1:14:03.479 --> 1:14:06.400
<v Speaker 1>also feel wreaky, That would feel claustrophobic, because then I'd

1:14:06.400 --> 1:14:08.439
<v Speaker 1>be looking at it and being like, oh, this is

1:14:08.479 --> 1:14:12.559
<v Speaker 1>the cage that I live in. Yeah, yeah, I can't be.

1:14:12.720 --> 1:14:17.160
<v Speaker 1>I can't. I can't be outside of these five versions

1:14:17.160 --> 1:14:21.439
<v Speaker 1>of myself that I've clearly defined. That's that would I

1:14:21.479 --> 1:14:23.759
<v Speaker 1>think that would give me. That would make me feel crazy.

1:14:23.800 --> 1:14:25.639
<v Speaker 1>If I'm gonna I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna try

1:14:25.640 --> 1:14:28.120
<v Speaker 1>to do it and see if I see what I got.

1:14:29.479 --> 1:14:34.200
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, put out a newsletter with the five stages.

1:14:34.240 --> 1:14:39.479
<v Speaker 1>A geck, what do you have? How many versions of yourself?

1:14:39.479 --> 1:14:39.880
<v Speaker 1>Do you have?

1:14:41.520 --> 1:14:42.400
<v Speaker 3>A good question?

1:14:42.560 --> 1:14:45.599
<v Speaker 4>Man, I don't really know. I feel like I've got

1:14:45.640 --> 1:14:51.240
<v Speaker 4>like a at least two for sure, because I think

1:14:51.320 --> 1:14:55.559
<v Speaker 4>that too to the time. Yeah, at least at least,

1:14:55.840 --> 1:14:58.360
<v Speaker 4>because there's probably more. I just haven't thought about it

1:14:58.400 --> 1:15:01.400
<v Speaker 4>that much. Like this is a pretty interesting thought experiment.

1:15:01.960 --> 1:15:04.120
<v Speaker 4>But when I think about it, I think I'm pretty

1:15:04.160 --> 1:15:08.360
<v Speaker 4>consistent with like, you know, I just kind of a

1:15:08.400 --> 1:15:10.679
<v Speaker 4>lot of the time I'm spending time in my apartment

1:15:10.800 --> 1:15:15.200
<v Speaker 4>just kind of either reading for school, playing guitar, and

1:15:15.240 --> 1:15:18.400
<v Speaker 4>then the other mode would just be like you know,

1:15:18.479 --> 1:15:21.720
<v Speaker 4>pretty much anything outside where you kind of put it on,

1:15:22.040 --> 1:15:24.080
<v Speaker 4>you know, what I mean, sure, and like you're either

1:15:24.200 --> 1:15:28.080
<v Speaker 4>like doing work with other people or trying to get

1:15:28.120 --> 1:15:31.200
<v Speaker 4>something done efficiently a lot of the time.

1:15:31.280 --> 1:15:31.439
<v Speaker 2>Man.

1:15:31.520 --> 1:15:34.160
<v Speaker 4>I mean the reason I say it's pretty consistent though,

1:15:34.280 --> 1:15:37.760
<v Speaker 4>is just like you know, getting stoned out of your

1:15:37.800 --> 1:15:41.120
<v Speaker 4>brain and like fucking playing music or whatever.

1:15:41.160 --> 1:15:41.360
<v Speaker 2>You know.

1:15:41.840 --> 1:15:44.400
<v Speaker 1>I can't believe you only have two. That's very your

1:15:44.479 --> 1:15:46.559
<v Speaker 1>sound you sound. I think if you only have two,

1:15:46.680 --> 1:15:51.520
<v Speaker 1>you're a very healthy guy. You think so, I think so, yeah,

1:15:52.000 --> 1:15:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I mean you're a very healthy guy or like you

1:15:55.479 --> 1:16:01.479
<v Speaker 1>prefer like, uh, it sounds like you prefer like a

1:16:01.560 --> 1:16:06.080
<v Speaker 1>simpler existence. I don't know if that's is that accurate.

1:16:06.120 --> 1:16:07.639
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if that's offensive to say. I don't

1:16:07.640 --> 1:16:09.360
<v Speaker 1>think it's offensive. I think I'm just trying to be

1:16:09.400 --> 1:16:10.519
<v Speaker 1>like matter of fact about it.

1:16:11.520 --> 1:16:14.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, one hundred percent. I mean it wouldn't be offensive

1:16:14.160 --> 1:16:17.280
<v Speaker 4>to me personally. I could definitely see what you're saying where.

1:16:17.120 --> 1:16:18.040
<v Speaker 2>Like some people might.

1:16:18.160 --> 1:16:21.599
<v Speaker 4>But I don't know that, Like, I don't know how

1:16:21.680 --> 1:16:25.920
<v Speaker 4>much more there really needs to be, you know, other

1:16:26.000 --> 1:16:31.679
<v Speaker 4>than just like doing whatever it is that is making

1:16:31.720 --> 1:16:34.360
<v Speaker 4>you happy in that moment. And obviously I guess it

1:16:34.439 --> 1:16:37.720
<v Speaker 4>might get confused if like what makes you happy, is

1:16:37.760 --> 1:16:41.560
<v Speaker 4>like now adaptive or whatever like like that or what

1:16:41.800 --> 1:16:45.560
<v Speaker 4>if you confuse like happy for comfortable. You know what

1:16:45.680 --> 1:16:48.560
<v Speaker 4>I mean, because you've got to be uncomfortable sometimes to

1:16:48.760 --> 1:16:49.719
<v Speaker 4>like grow and whatever.

1:16:49.840 --> 1:16:51.960
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, I know what you man, I know your man.

1:16:54.640 --> 1:16:59.760
<v Speaker 1>Hm hmm. I was going to say something and I forgot.

1:17:00.680 --> 1:17:04.080
<v Speaker 1>I've probably said this on here before. But I used

1:17:04.160 --> 1:17:08.960
<v Speaker 1>to think that I used to want to not have

1:17:09.000 --> 1:17:11.080
<v Speaker 1>different versions of myself. I used to think that it

1:17:11.160 --> 1:17:14.640
<v Speaker 1>was the ultimate. I used to think it was a

1:17:14.840 --> 1:17:21.040
<v Speaker 1>strong virtue, and maybe part of me still does. But

1:17:21.080 --> 1:17:23.600
<v Speaker 1>I used to think it was a very strong virtue

1:17:24.200 --> 1:17:26.960
<v Speaker 1>if you could have as if you could be the

1:17:27.240 --> 1:17:37.600
<v Speaker 1>same person as consistently as possible across all situations. I

1:17:37.720 --> 1:17:39.599
<v Speaker 1>used to think that was a virtue, and in some

1:17:39.680 --> 1:17:48.000
<v Speaker 1>ways I still do. Like I think that if you can,

1:17:48.680 --> 1:17:50.920
<v Speaker 1>like if you're like a confident guy, but only like

1:17:50.960 --> 1:17:53.439
<v Speaker 1>in certain situations, and then you get placed in like

1:17:53.479 --> 1:18:00.479
<v Speaker 1>a very foreign environment and you like can maintain who

1:18:00.520 --> 1:18:04.560
<v Speaker 1>you are and maintain your confidence in that foreign environment,

1:18:05.479 --> 1:18:08.599
<v Speaker 1>I find that very impressive. Like I've seen people do that.

1:18:10.880 --> 1:18:12.800
<v Speaker 1>I've seen people where like I've hung out with them

1:18:12.800 --> 1:18:14.640
<v Speaker 1>and they're a certain way when I'm talking to them,

1:18:14.680 --> 1:18:19.439
<v Speaker 1>and then like we're in some situation or some shit

1:18:19.479 --> 1:18:21.920
<v Speaker 1>where like if I was in this situation, I would definitely,

1:18:22.400 --> 1:18:24.599
<v Speaker 1>not even intentionally, I would just like maybe be more

1:18:24.680 --> 1:18:28.000
<v Speaker 1>quiet or something like that. And I've seen someone be

1:18:28.040 --> 1:18:29.880
<v Speaker 1>in a situation like that and they're the fucking same

1:18:29.960 --> 1:18:32.520
<v Speaker 1>version of themselves. I find that to be very virtuous.

1:18:33.400 --> 1:18:37.360
<v Speaker 1>Some people are just fucking built like that. Nowadays, I'm

1:18:37.400 --> 1:18:40.000
<v Speaker 1>like I do nowadays, I do think that that's virtuous,

1:18:40.040 --> 1:18:47.960
<v Speaker 1>But I also don't think it's necessarily realistic. I don't

1:18:48.000 --> 1:18:50.960
<v Speaker 1>think it's realistic to be the same I don't think

1:18:51.000 --> 1:18:53.080
<v Speaker 1>it's realistic to be the same version of you when

1:18:53.120 --> 1:18:55.800
<v Speaker 1>you're working and when you're with your friends and when

1:18:55.800 --> 1:18:59.519
<v Speaker 1>you're talking to your grandma, and when you're sad, and

1:18:59.520 --> 1:19:01.679
<v Speaker 1>when you're happy, and when you're angry and when you're whatever.

1:19:01.760 --> 1:19:04.559
<v Speaker 1>I don't I don't think it's realistic. I think you

1:19:04.640 --> 1:19:08.400
<v Speaker 1>have to have some you have to have some level

1:19:08.439 --> 1:19:11.120
<v Speaker 1>of like keeping yourself. You have to have some baseline

1:19:11.200 --> 1:19:18.080
<v Speaker 1>level to which you're subscribing. But that's that feels very

1:19:18.120 --> 1:19:22.280
<v Speaker 1>inhuman to me. I feel like it's more human to

1:19:22.479 --> 1:19:25.080
<v Speaker 1>be the to have five different version of observe yourself

1:19:25.120 --> 1:19:31.040
<v Speaker 1>than it is to like stay consistent. I still I

1:19:31.040 --> 1:19:32.800
<v Speaker 1>still think it's a virtue to stay consistent. I'm trying

1:19:32.800 --> 1:19:34.639
<v Speaker 1>to think of a specific example because I don't being

1:19:34.760 --> 1:19:40.720
<v Speaker 1>very vague, but like, uh, I don't know, like if

1:19:40.760 --> 1:19:48.120
<v Speaker 1>you're you know, if you're like at a party or something, and.

1:19:48.960 --> 1:19:52.240
<v Speaker 4>Like your party self versus like your school self versus

1:19:52.240 --> 1:19:52.920
<v Speaker 4>your job self.

1:19:53.280 --> 1:20:00.360
<v Speaker 1>Kind Yeah, sure, whatever, Yeah, something like that. I do

1:20:00.439 --> 1:20:03.240
<v Speaker 1>still think it's I don't. I think it's a virtue

1:20:03.280 --> 1:20:07.760
<v Speaker 1>in some degree. I'll not allow outside stimulus to let

1:20:07.760 --> 1:20:10.280
<v Speaker 1>you change who you are, but sometimes it's inside stimulus

1:20:10.280 --> 1:20:15.439
<v Speaker 1>that's changing who you are. Sometimes, like your fucking just

1:20:15.479 --> 1:20:18.800
<v Speaker 1>whatever emotion is overtaking you is causing you to be

1:20:18.960 --> 1:20:19.679
<v Speaker 1>someone different.

1:20:21.479 --> 1:20:23.880
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, totally. I mean what I think about when when

1:20:23.920 --> 1:20:26.160
<v Speaker 4>you're saying this man is the movie Shrek. You know,

1:20:26.560 --> 1:20:29.920
<v Speaker 4>we're like, we're like onion, But that movie was about ogres,

1:20:30.000 --> 1:20:32.360
<v Speaker 4>So I don't know if that necessarily applies.

1:20:33.760 --> 1:20:35.439
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I got to you, but yeah, when Shrek is like,

1:20:35.479 --> 1:20:40.000
<v Speaker 1>people are like onions. They have layers. Although the the

1:20:40.000 --> 1:20:44.920
<v Speaker 1>the onion analogy implies the onion analogy I don't like

1:20:44.960 --> 1:20:53.439
<v Speaker 1>because it implies a hierarchy, and I don't believe that

1:20:54.000 --> 1:20:59.920
<v Speaker 1>the different versions have a hierarchy. Maybe they maybe they

1:21:00.200 --> 1:21:02.200
<v Speaker 1>When I think of versions of myself, I'm like, oh,

1:21:02.400 --> 1:21:05.000
<v Speaker 1>I like when I think of versions of myself, I'm like, oh,

1:21:05.080 --> 1:21:08.320
<v Speaker 1>I like some of these a lot better than others.

1:21:09.960 --> 1:21:12.560
<v Speaker 1>But so maybe they have maybe they have a hierarchy

1:21:13.000 --> 1:21:15.559
<v Speaker 1>in terms of quality, but not in terms.

1:21:15.360 --> 1:21:23.240
<v Speaker 4>Of truth, like being true to your like in terms

1:21:23.280 --> 1:21:24.720
<v Speaker 4>of like who you actually are.

1:21:25.640 --> 1:21:28.559
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, I don't think that. I don't think that

1:21:28.600 --> 1:21:31.200
<v Speaker 1>the different layers of yourself have a hierarchy in terms

1:21:31.200 --> 1:21:33.559
<v Speaker 1>of like truth, Like I think who you are when

1:21:33.560 --> 1:21:39.720
<v Speaker 1>you're fucking pissed off or when you're happy, or when

1:21:39.720 --> 1:21:41.200
<v Speaker 1>you're around this person in that person, I think they

1:21:41.280 --> 1:21:45.439
<v Speaker 1>all are true because you're being that in that moment

1:21:45.439 --> 1:21:49.080
<v Speaker 1>that you're existing, Like they're part of your the narrative

1:21:49.120 --> 1:21:51.040
<v Speaker 1>of who you are, and they you can adapt and

1:21:51.120 --> 1:21:54.040
<v Speaker 1>change it evolve. But like, uh, I don't know they're

1:21:54.040 --> 1:21:56.639
<v Speaker 1>all true, but they definitely have a hierarchy in terms

1:21:56.680 --> 1:21:59.080
<v Speaker 1>of like, yeah, I've been like if I've been like

1:21:59.120 --> 1:22:02.639
<v Speaker 1>an asshole to some one when I was like pissed off,

1:22:03.600 --> 1:22:06.400
<v Speaker 1>or if I've been really nice or kind or selfish

1:22:06.479 --> 1:22:09.360
<v Speaker 1>or loving to somebody when I was feeling in that moment,

1:22:10.040 --> 1:22:13.479
<v Speaker 1>like both of those are true, Like I think they

1:22:13.560 --> 1:22:15.920
<v Speaker 1>sit on equal footing of truth, but they definitely sit

1:22:15.960 --> 1:22:19.040
<v Speaker 1>on opposite footings in terms of like which of those

1:22:19.200 --> 1:22:24.160
<v Speaker 1>I think is better to embody? You know, But it's

1:22:24.160 --> 1:22:27.559
<v Speaker 1>definitely better to be the version of myself that is,

1:22:27.800 --> 1:22:31.479
<v Speaker 1>you know, kind than like pissed off. But I don't

1:22:31.479 --> 1:22:33.680
<v Speaker 1>know if you'd either one of them is the the

1:22:33.800 --> 1:22:36.479
<v Speaker 1>true one.

1:22:36.800 --> 1:22:39.800
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I get what you mean, man, And I think

1:22:39.840 --> 1:22:45.640
<v Speaker 4>it's important to just like remember that, you know, like

1:22:46.640 --> 1:22:49.599
<v Speaker 4>whenever you're wherever you are in the present, you're always

1:22:49.680 --> 1:22:52.479
<v Speaker 4>kind of like just making decisions that become you, you

1:22:52.520 --> 1:22:53.000
<v Speaker 4>know what I mean.

1:22:53.479 --> 1:22:55.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So like you can.

1:22:55.280 --> 1:22:57.880
<v Speaker 4>Be any of those and thinking back on this is

1:22:57.960 --> 1:23:01.600
<v Speaker 4>just a way of like underunderstanding how you'd prefer to

1:23:01.640 --> 1:23:02.800
<v Speaker 4>act in the future, you know.

1:23:04.439 --> 1:23:06.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you know, it's you know what you know, it

1:23:06.760 --> 1:23:09.160
<v Speaker 1>makes it feel existential. Sometimes I don't feel existential in

1:23:09.160 --> 1:23:13.160
<v Speaker 1>this moment. I feel pretty grounded, but it's I've gotten

1:23:13.200 --> 1:23:17.360
<v Speaker 1>into a crazy existential loop before just thinking about like

1:23:17.479 --> 1:23:20.400
<v Speaker 1>how I can never take a break from being myself.

1:23:21.720 --> 1:23:26.320
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, it's true. Man, because whoever you're you are at

1:23:26.320 --> 1:23:27.719
<v Speaker 4>that moment is just you.

1:23:27.720 --> 1:23:27.920
<v Speaker 3>You know.

1:23:28.520 --> 1:23:31.080
<v Speaker 1>You know, you can stay inside and play video games

1:23:31.120 --> 1:23:33.559
<v Speaker 1>and like ignore the world as long as you possibly can,

1:23:33.640 --> 1:23:37.879
<v Speaker 1>but like, uh, you can never really take a break

1:23:37.920 --> 1:23:42.960
<v Speaker 1>from being yourself. That doesn't freak me out. In this moment,

1:23:43.000 --> 1:23:45.880
<v Speaker 1>I feel okay, But there's been times where that streaked

1:23:45.960 --> 1:23:46.280
<v Speaker 1>me out.

1:23:47.520 --> 1:23:49.760
<v Speaker 4>You know what kind of freaks me out? Dog, And

1:23:49.800 --> 1:23:52.360
<v Speaker 4>I don't want to like, you know, take you to

1:23:52.439 --> 1:23:53.960
<v Speaker 4>an existential place, but.

1:23:54.080 --> 1:23:56.720
<v Speaker 1>No, I'm here for I'm here for it in this moment.

1:23:56.800 --> 1:24:00.479
<v Speaker 4>Let's do it, all right, sweet dude. Well, I get

1:24:00.600 --> 1:24:03.759
<v Speaker 4>kind of fucking freaked out when I smoke a shit ton.

1:24:03.640 --> 1:24:08.040
<v Speaker 2>Of weed about like just like.

1:24:09.680 --> 1:24:11.840
<v Speaker 4>I don't I don't know if this is necessarily the way,

1:24:11.880 --> 1:24:14.679
<v Speaker 4>because I don't know that I've ever articulated this tvah man.

1:24:15.200 --> 1:24:20.799
<v Speaker 4>But like I think about almost like developing, like past

1:24:21.000 --> 1:24:24.800
<v Speaker 4>versions of myself have like died almost and I wonder, like,

1:24:25.000 --> 1:24:28.760
<v Speaker 4>am I like really the same consciousness you know what

1:24:28.760 --> 1:24:31.640
<v Speaker 4>I mean? Like almost ship a theseus style, because like

1:24:31.720 --> 1:24:35.960
<v Speaker 4>we're constantly like shedding our skin and whatever and like

1:24:36.080 --> 1:24:40.160
<v Speaker 4>becoming like physically literally new people, and like you know,

1:24:40.439 --> 1:24:44.000
<v Speaker 4>developing new physical characteristics and everything. But on top of that,

1:24:44.080 --> 1:24:49.240
<v Speaker 4>like psychologically we're constantly like changing and having new experiences

1:24:49.240 --> 1:24:51.719
<v Speaker 4>that make us respond in different ways in the future

1:24:51.800 --> 1:24:56.559
<v Speaker 4>based off of like what our con sexualization of the

1:24:56.600 --> 1:24:58.880
<v Speaker 4>world and like how we fit into it and how

1:24:58.920 --> 1:25:01.800
<v Speaker 4>that changes over time. And I and I like wonder

1:25:01.880 --> 1:25:05.920
<v Speaker 4>about like whether like memories I have of myself, if

1:25:06.000 --> 1:25:08.640
<v Speaker 4>like that self still exists or if like I'm a

1:25:08.680 --> 1:25:10.400
<v Speaker 4>totally new dude, you know what I mean.

1:25:11.920 --> 1:25:15.720
<v Speaker 1>Uh yeah, I think the self. Yeah, I think that

1:25:15.760 --> 1:25:17.880
<v Speaker 1>self still exists. I mean it's you.

1:25:17.960 --> 1:25:19.479
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, you think so, you.

1:25:19.439 --> 1:25:26.559
<v Speaker 1>Know, unless if you're like unless if you're counting every

1:25:26.600 --> 1:25:29.599
<v Speaker 1>single second of your life to be a different version

1:25:29.640 --> 1:25:32.519
<v Speaker 1>of you, which you can. That's what I'm saying, is

1:25:32.560 --> 1:25:35.519
<v Speaker 1>that is that Alan there's that Alan Watts thing of

1:25:35.640 --> 1:25:37.960
<v Speaker 1>like you're under no obligation to be who you were

1:25:39.000 --> 1:25:45.439
<v Speaker 1>five minutes ago. Yeah, but it's hard. I don't know

1:25:45.479 --> 1:25:48.080
<v Speaker 1>if that's I'm I'm I'm saying that as a bit

1:25:48.080 --> 1:25:55.320
<v Speaker 1>of an idealist. Yeah, yeah, that it's like I in

1:25:55.400 --> 1:25:58.679
<v Speaker 1>my idealist version of the universe, Yeah, you're you're under

1:25:58.680 --> 1:26:02.519
<v Speaker 1>no obligation to be who you are or uh five

1:26:02.560 --> 1:26:10.439
<v Speaker 1>minutes ago, But yeah, do those versions of yourself still exist?

1:26:11.160 --> 1:26:11.320
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

1:26:11.320 --> 1:26:13.599
<v Speaker 1>I mean you're still alive, You're still here. But also

1:26:13.720 --> 1:26:16.080
<v Speaker 1>it's like, yeah, I mean, what's going on now? Right

1:26:16.200 --> 1:26:18.559
<v Speaker 1>like for example, like for example, like when you think

1:26:18.600 --> 1:26:21.280
<v Speaker 1>of these past versions, like things like do you do

1:26:21.560 --> 1:26:24.680
<v Speaker 1>that press version of you still exist? Like it's manifested

1:26:24.880 --> 1:26:29.200
<v Speaker 1>in the things that you're doing every day, right like

1:26:29.240 --> 1:26:32.000
<v Speaker 1>because yea, So imagine when you think of like a

1:26:32.040 --> 1:26:35.880
<v Speaker 1>memory you had with a friend, like and you're like, oh,

1:26:35.920 --> 1:26:36.880
<v Speaker 1>do I still exist?

1:26:36.880 --> 1:26:37.000
<v Speaker 3>Well?

1:26:37.280 --> 1:26:40.800
<v Speaker 1>Do you still talk to that friend? Do you have

1:26:40.840 --> 1:26:44.880
<v Speaker 1>a relationship with them? You know, Like I mean, are

1:26:44.880 --> 1:26:47.719
<v Speaker 1>you're still alive? You're still breathing, You're not fucking dead?

1:26:48.400 --> 1:26:50.760
<v Speaker 1>You still you still am, you have the you're not

1:26:52.120 --> 1:26:53.600
<v Speaker 1>you still have the thoughts. You haven't been hit in

1:26:53.640 --> 1:26:55.920
<v Speaker 1>the head with a hammer or chainsaw, so yeah, you

1:26:55.960 --> 1:26:59.960
<v Speaker 1>are still yourself? Yeah, sure, you still exist?

1:27:00.120 --> 1:27:00.400
<v Speaker 2>Why not?

1:27:01.040 --> 1:27:01.519
<v Speaker 1>Who cares?

1:27:01.640 --> 1:27:04.760
<v Speaker 4>That's a pretty clean solution of that conundrum. Man, Like,

1:27:04.800 --> 1:27:06.240
<v Speaker 4>if you don't get hit in the head with a

1:27:06.400 --> 1:27:09.160
<v Speaker 4>like a cattle sledgehammer and you're not seasoned out, you're

1:27:09.200 --> 1:27:10.880
<v Speaker 4>you're still like you're still there.

1:27:11.280 --> 1:27:14.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you're kind of you until you die, I think,

1:27:16.720 --> 1:27:18.840
<v Speaker 1>but you can manage you can't You're kind of you

1:27:18.920 --> 1:27:23.240
<v Speaker 1>until you die. You can manage you if you think

1:27:23.240 --> 1:27:28.560
<v Speaker 1>of yourself as like a disease, uh, which I sometimes

1:27:28.840 --> 1:27:31.320
<v Speaker 1>think of Sometimes I think of my my ego and

1:27:31.320 --> 1:27:34.639
<v Speaker 1>my identity as a fucking disease. And I'm like, well, yeah,

1:27:34.960 --> 1:27:37.840
<v Speaker 1>you know, there's no cure for cancer yet. There's no

1:27:37.920 --> 1:27:42.240
<v Speaker 1>cure for the cancer of being myself yet. But uh

1:27:42.560 --> 1:27:45.479
<v Speaker 1>with you know, with with certain chemotherapy, it can be

1:27:45.560 --> 1:27:48.640
<v Speaker 1>managed and a good life can still be lived, you

1:27:48.680 --> 1:27:49.160
<v Speaker 1>know what I mean.

1:27:49.400 --> 1:27:55.120
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, yeah, well hey man, that's the that's the key,

1:27:55.200 --> 1:27:58.439
<v Speaker 4>you know, just trying to live as good a life

1:27:58.439 --> 1:27:59.040
<v Speaker 4>as you can.

1:27:59.560 --> 1:27:59.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and.

1:28:02.360 --> 1:28:10.040
<v Speaker 4>Hopefully everyone can, you know, James, Yeah.

1:28:09.400 --> 1:28:13.200
<v Speaker 1>This was good. I needed a I needed a psycholog

1:28:13.280 --> 1:28:18.599
<v Speaker 1>I needed a psychological I needed an existential conversation today.

1:28:18.640 --> 1:28:23.120
<v Speaker 4>Anytime I need some existential thoughts, man, I throw on

1:28:23.479 --> 1:28:24.000
<v Speaker 4>the therapy.

1:28:24.040 --> 1:28:29.280
<v Speaker 3>Get Goo podcasts good.

1:28:30.200 --> 1:28:33.920
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Sometimes I don't know it's weird. I'm not I'm

1:28:33.920 --> 1:28:36.639
<v Speaker 1>gonna keep prolonging this conversation just im thinking about it now.

1:28:36.720 --> 1:28:37.240
<v Speaker 2>But uh.

1:28:38.880 --> 1:28:42.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, like I feel really good this week. I feel

1:28:42.160 --> 1:28:44.400
<v Speaker 1>really good right now because I'm on stimulants or whatever.

1:28:44.400 --> 1:28:47.040
<v Speaker 1>But I'm like this, I go in like these fucking

1:28:47.080 --> 1:28:51.040
<v Speaker 1>cycles man, of like, yeah, sometimes it feels good and

1:28:51.080 --> 1:28:54.840
<v Speaker 1>I feel idealist and I feel whatever, and then I

1:28:54.920 --> 1:28:59.599
<v Speaker 1>kind of return to, you know, a more depressive state.

1:29:00.160 --> 1:29:02.040
<v Speaker 1>And sometimes I feel like that's just the disease of

1:29:02.040 --> 1:29:08.320
<v Speaker 1>my existence, and I've held out hope that things can

1:29:09.680 --> 1:29:16.800
<v Speaker 1>I uh, yeah, no, I think every time, every time

1:29:16.800 --> 1:29:19.040
<v Speaker 1>I return to the surface and catch my breath, I

1:29:19.120 --> 1:29:20.000
<v Speaker 1>learned a new thing.

1:29:21.080 --> 1:29:21.280
<v Speaker 2>You know.

1:29:21.960 --> 1:29:26.639
<v Speaker 1>It's like I was talking to the guy. I don't

1:29:26.680 --> 1:29:28.880
<v Speaker 1>know if I'll use these two calls in the same

1:29:29.479 --> 1:29:31.280
<v Speaker 1>episode or whatever, but I was talking to the guy,

1:29:32.439 --> 1:29:36.680
<v Speaker 1>uh who was a janitor about how his life is good.

1:29:37.200 --> 1:29:39.160
<v Speaker 1>And I've been doing that with myself. But I'm just

1:29:39.160 --> 1:29:42.280
<v Speaker 1>like realizing that, like, you know, my life is good

1:29:42.600 --> 1:29:46.679
<v Speaker 1>whether or not I you know, exist in some weird

1:29:46.720 --> 1:29:55.840
<v Speaker 1>existential state. Anyway. Anyway, anyway, I'm ready to I'm ready

1:29:55.840 --> 1:29:57.720
<v Speaker 1>to end this. It was good talking to you, James.

1:29:57.760 --> 1:29:59.760
<v Speaker 1>You're good, You're You're a cool guy. You're a cool guy.

1:29:59.800 --> 1:30:03.000
<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm excited for whatever you do in your psychology universe.

1:30:04.400 --> 1:30:06.840
<v Speaker 4>Thanks brother, I appreciate it. And you know, I mean

1:30:06.880 --> 1:30:10.640
<v Speaker 4>I think it's clear from my previous rhetoric, but I

1:30:10.800 --> 1:30:12.439
<v Speaker 4>think you're a pretty cool, cool guy too.

1:30:12.439 --> 1:30:16.800
<v Speaker 1>Man, Is there anything else you want to say to

1:30:16.840 --> 1:30:18.240
<v Speaker 1>the people of the computer before we go?

1:30:20.640 --> 1:30:20.800
<v Speaker 2>Uh?

1:30:22.360 --> 1:30:25.200
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I mean, try to.

1:30:28.000 --> 1:30:28.799
<v Speaker 2>Try to have.

1:30:28.800 --> 1:30:34.439
<v Speaker 4>Empathy for other people and really try to understand why

1:30:34.479 --> 1:30:36.320
<v Speaker 4>people make the decisions they do.

1:30:38.000 --> 1:30:38.840
<v Speaker 2>And I think that.

1:30:40.040 --> 1:30:43.840
<v Speaker 4>You'll be a lot more understanding for it and maybe

1:30:43.920 --> 1:30:48.680
<v Speaker 4>have less less spite in the world, you know, And

1:30:48.720 --> 1:30:51.160
<v Speaker 4>I think that's only good. And then on top of that,

1:30:52.160 --> 1:30:59.280
<v Speaker 4>not to milk this, but read more hurt Vonnegut.

1:31:00.080 --> 1:31:03.080
<v Speaker 2>My final thought rock and Roll.

1:31:03.320 --> 1:31:05.799
<v Speaker 1>I've never I don't really I don't really read books,

1:31:05.800 --> 1:31:11.559
<v Speaker 1>but yeah, I guess read. I thought I thought there

1:31:11.600 --> 1:31:13.880
<v Speaker 1>was gonna be a butt to that, but I realized

1:31:13.920 --> 1:31:16.800
<v Speaker 1>the truth is that there's no. But I'm sorry.

1:31:16.800 --> 1:31:20.200
<v Speaker 4>Well, a good place to start, dog, if you're interested,

1:31:20.479 --> 1:31:24.479
<v Speaker 4>either Slaughterhouse five, Cat's Cradle, or Sirens the Titan all

1:31:24.680 --> 1:31:25.679
<v Speaker 4>really really good books.

1:31:25.960 --> 1:31:29.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Okay, that's good to know. Yeah, maybe.

1:31:31.080 --> 1:31:32.880
<v Speaker 2>Give it a whirl if you want.

1:31:34.640 --> 1:31:36.200
<v Speaker 1>Thank you, James, you have a good rest of your

1:31:36.320 --> 1:31:36.840
<v Speaker 1>entire life.

1:31:36.840 --> 1:31:40.000
<v Speaker 4>Man, he's too Dog, I'll talk to you later.

1:31:40.040 --> 1:31:49.240
<v Speaker 1>Lady James. Right, yeah, I'm not a book guy. Uh,

1:31:50.040 --> 1:31:53.120
<v Speaker 1>And I don't feel I used to feel I used

1:31:53.160 --> 1:31:57.880
<v Speaker 1>to like. I don't know, I don't subscribe to like

1:31:58.000 --> 1:32:01.360
<v Speaker 1>I think I don't subscribe to reading as a virtue.

1:32:01.520 --> 1:32:03.960
<v Speaker 1>I think it's just one of several I don't know.

1:32:04.000 --> 1:32:05.639
<v Speaker 1>I'm not here. I'm not shitting on this guy's books.

1:32:05.640 --> 1:32:07.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm just I don't know. I'm just vamping right now.

1:32:07.960 --> 1:32:11.880
<v Speaker 1>But I don't think. I don't as I get old.

1:32:11.880 --> 1:32:15.000
<v Speaker 1>As I get older, I'm like, I don't think. I

1:32:15.040 --> 1:32:21.640
<v Speaker 1>have a few strongly held beliefs. One is that, at

1:32:21.760 --> 1:32:26.759
<v Speaker 1>least domestically, all food is the same. So when someone

1:32:26.840 --> 1:32:31.240
<v Speaker 1>is like, oh, the the Mexican food in San Antonio,

1:32:31.280 --> 1:32:33.800
<v Speaker 1>Texas is so good, I'm like, all right, but there's

1:32:33.840 --> 1:32:39.280
<v Speaker 1>a you know, ah, in Maryland, in like a small

1:32:39.320 --> 1:32:44.720
<v Speaker 1>town in Timonium, there's a really good Mexican restaurant where

1:32:44.760 --> 1:32:47.559
<v Speaker 1>you can get a burrito, and your experience of eating

1:32:47.560 --> 1:32:49.640
<v Speaker 1>that burrita will be pretty identical to the one that

1:32:49.640 --> 1:32:52.200
<v Speaker 1>you got in San Antonio. In Denver, there's probably a

1:32:52.200 --> 1:32:55.479
<v Speaker 1>good Mexican place in San Francisco's there's probably, like you

1:32:55.520 --> 1:33:00.400
<v Speaker 1>know this, all food is the same domestically, that's one

1:33:00.400 --> 1:33:03.160
<v Speaker 1>of my strongly held beliefs. My other strongly held belief

1:33:04.640 --> 1:33:06.840
<v Speaker 1>as I don't think reading is inherently virtuous. I don't

1:33:06.840 --> 1:33:09.639
<v Speaker 1>know why I'm going on this rant. I just needed

1:33:09.680 --> 1:33:13.439
<v Speaker 1>more things to say. Yeah, go read, Go read the

1:33:13.439 --> 1:33:15.639
<v Speaker 1>books that this guy's staying to read. Yeah, if you're

1:33:15.640 --> 1:33:17.960
<v Speaker 1>not a fucking idiot like me, go read the books

1:33:17.960 --> 1:33:22.840
<v Speaker 1>that this kind gentleman is saying to read. My friend

1:33:22.920 --> 1:33:25.240
<v Speaker 1>let me slaughter House five once. I didn't read it.

1:33:26.520 --> 1:33:28.880
<v Speaker 1>I have too much ADHD to like sit and read

1:33:28.920 --> 1:33:34.479
<v Speaker 1>a book, so I talked to I was just like,

1:33:35.040 --> 1:33:36.519
<v Speaker 1>even when I was like yeah, even when I was

1:33:36.560 --> 1:33:39.160
<v Speaker 1>in h like high school and shit, I just always

1:33:39.160 --> 1:33:42.160
<v Speaker 1>did the spark notes. I read Animal Farm cover to cover.

1:33:42.760 --> 1:33:45.519
<v Speaker 1>That was the one book. But like, I'm not fucking

1:33:45.600 --> 1:33:49.519
<v Speaker 1>reading Watership Down cover to cutter cover. You know, I

1:33:49.520 --> 1:33:53.080
<v Speaker 1>got Call of Duty to play. I got Yeah, I

1:33:53.439 --> 1:33:55.040
<v Speaker 1>had too many ADHD for that ship. But yeah, go

1:33:55.080 --> 1:33:57.280
<v Speaker 1>read a book. Maybe go read a book. Okay. My

1:33:57.320 --> 1:34:01.559
<v Speaker 1>rant about this is over. Was on the line taking

1:34:01.600 --> 1:34:04.880
<v Speaker 1>your phone calls every night. Everything get goes to on

1:34:04.960 --> 1:34:05.360
<v Speaker 1>his eye.

1:34:05.479 --> 1:34:08.439
<v Speaker 2>He's teaching you to hout of your life, but he's

1:34:08.520 --> 1:34:11.000
<v Speaker 2>not really an expert,