Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your go Cheeky's and you've reached the
Speaker 1: voice mailbox for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Speaker 1: What arever the cases I want to hear from you.
Speaker 1: Remember these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're
Speaker 1: suffering from an issue or hardship, you should seek help
Speaker 1: from a qualified professional. All right, now, go ahead and
Speaker 1: leave your question at the sound of the beat.
Speaker 2: Hi Cheekies, I am from Florida. I'm actually Brazilian. I'm
Speaker 2: not Mexican, but I love your music. I love your
Speaker 2: mom's music. She was actually the first person that I
Speaker 2: ever heard in the skin music world. I actually married
Speaker 2: him Mexican as well, so he's the one that kind
Speaker 2: of put me on. But my question to you is
Speaker 2: how can I embrace my feminine side. I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm just this big, tough girl that will woman because
Speaker 2: I was raised with my brother, you know, he taught
Speaker 2: me how to be tough. My dad taught me how
Speaker 2: to be tough, and I just feel like I'm just
Speaker 2: so tough for I just want to be soft, Like
Speaker 2: I want to be that girly. I want to be
Speaker 2: more feminine. I want to be you know, very cute,
Speaker 2: very all this stuff and very aesthetic in a way.
Speaker 2: I just don't want to be this person that's all
Speaker 2: big and bad, you know, like I'm just I just
Speaker 2: want to be more feminine. And you know, I love
Speaker 2: getting my nails done, my hair is done. I just
Speaker 2: feel like there's there's more that I just don't know
Speaker 2: how to lock in. And I mean, I have no
Speaker 2: problem being Jinoona as fun, but you know, like I
Speaker 2: just want to be more feminine too, you know, like
Speaker 2: I drive big trucks, I do all this stuff. I
Speaker 2: work in construction. I don't want that to overpower me
Speaker 2: and overpower my feminine So how can I change? Girl?
Speaker 1: You are a badass, Melissa, first of all. And I
Speaker 1: really want to go to Brazil. Have you been to Brazil?
Speaker 1: I want to go to Brazil anyways, But I'm glad
Speaker 1: that you, you know, love the mexicanos. Okay, I think
Speaker 1: it's pretty bad ass that you drive a truck and
Speaker 1: that you work in construction girl, Like, whoa. I don't
Speaker 1: think there's anything wrong with a woman being I guess
Speaker 1: tomboyish for the lack of a better word. I think
Speaker 1: that that's attractive. You know. Yes, I understand that you
Speaker 1: want to be more feminine. I get that. I had
Speaker 1: to learn because I would always step into like my
Speaker 1: masculine energy. And if you want to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship with a man, you have to learn to be
Speaker 1: a little more cutesy, you know, and de mirror with
Speaker 1: how you speak and certain things. So I've had to
Speaker 1: learn myself. I love the fact that you get your
Speaker 1: nils down, you love to get your hair done, all
Speaker 1: that good stuff. Do you wear dresses? Maybe we're high heels.
Speaker 1: Have you ever taken an etiquette class? I think an
Speaker 1: etiquet class would be cool. I want to take one, actually,
Speaker 1: I think etiquet classes will definitely help with kind of
Speaker 1: being more in touch with that feminine side. But I
Speaker 1: think if you work around dudes all the time and everything, like,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be a little hard. But again, there's nothing
Speaker 1: wrong with that. I think that's actually, like I said,
Speaker 1: really sexy. But try etiquette classes. Another thing would be music,
Speaker 1: like very sexy music that's gonna make you like feel
Speaker 1: like in touch with your like feminine side. Meditation too.
Speaker 1: You guys know, I'm a huge advocate for meditation and therapy,
Speaker 1: but medication could definitely help you, like if you are
Speaker 1: focusing on the feminine energy for it to be downloaded.
Speaker 1: It'll take some time because I think you are who
Speaker 1: you are and you shouldn't want to change that completely.
Speaker 1: But you can step into your feminine a little bit,
Speaker 1: for sure, But I don't know I'm going to look
Speaker 1: into that, but hopefully my advice helped a little bit
Speaker 1: or helps a little bit keep us updated. I'd love
Speaker 1: to hear from you again, Melissa, but I think you
Speaker 1: sound like a pretty bad ass girl, so don't try
Speaker 1: to change too much. Okay. Next question comes from Chantell.
Speaker 3: Hey, Cheeky's a Chantal. You've answered a few of my
Speaker 3: questions in the past, but I have a new question
Speaker 3: for you. So, I was going through TikTok and I
Speaker 3: saw that scene where your mom had her taco truck.
Speaker 3: First of all, that was so iconic. I think seeing
Speaker 3: you and your cousin and I think Johnny in the
Speaker 3: back almost falling while she was driving is just absolutely
Speaker 3: hilarious and awesome. However, just hearing how all the fans
Speaker 3: were talking about how good the tacos were and how
Speaker 3: she like shut the people up in the radio saying
Speaker 3: that no, this isn't ever real taco because she had
Speaker 3: lettuce in them made me crave it. So my question is,
Speaker 3: would you and your siblings ever consider making a taco
Speaker 3: truck and your mom honor you know, seeing that you
Speaker 3: guys are her kids, you guys probably have the same
Speaker 3: saasle that she did. So I'm just curious because I'm
Speaker 3: a foodie. Anyways, girl, love you keep doing you, sending
Speaker 3: love your way.
Speaker 1: Hi. Oh you're still cute, Chantell. It's funny because when
Speaker 1: I read your name, I thought, I know that I've
Speaker 1: said this name a couple of times. So thank you
Speaker 1: so much for being a fan of Dear Cheeky's. We
Speaker 1: appreciate you very much. Round them applause for Chantelle. Guys
Speaker 1: please who It's like ten of us in here right now,
Speaker 1: So thank you Chantelle. And talking about tacos. Oh my gosh, dude,
Speaker 1: A lot of people don't know this. My mom was
Speaker 1: a pretty good cook. She didn't cook often, but when
Speaker 1: she did, it was delicious. And I have the recipe
Speaker 1: to that salsa because the salsa on top of the
Speaker 1: tacos is what made the taco because yes, they were very,
Speaker 1: very different. It's like meat, lettuce, granma, a little bit
Speaker 1: of guesso, and then the salsa. Delicious. I've never thought
Speaker 1: about opening up that truck again, but it's not a
Speaker 1: bad idea. Maybe we should call it like a Jenny
Speaker 1: Taco or something like that, like if we I don't know,
Speaker 1: I have to talk to my siblings. But I definitely
Speaker 1: I like the idea. I like the idea. I will
Speaker 1: definitely think about it. Said definitely three times, but definitely.
Speaker 1: I I like the question, so let me think. But
Speaker 1: they are really good. Those talkers were really good. I
Speaker 1: missed my mom's cooking. And the lintwer two was kind
Speaker 1: of like like grilled a little bit like not grilled,
Speaker 1: but like anyways, they're really good. So yeah, maybe I'll
Speaker 1: talk to my cousin. Maybe she'll do it. We'll see. Okay,
Speaker 1: thank you Chantelle again for your question. We love you
Speaker 1: all right, So third question comes from Kate. Let's see
Speaker 1: what Kate has to say.
Speaker 4: Hi, Tiki's I'm just gonna say my name's Kate to
Speaker 4: keep it kind of anonymous. First and foremost, I wanted
Speaker 4: to say that I love you and I love what
Speaker 4: you're doing, because I think it's hella inspirational to give
Speaker 4: people the opportunity to get advice from you. My first
Speaker 4: question kind of relates to your book Bed Alone. I
Speaker 4: went through a similar situation as you did as a
Speaker 4: child from ages eight to sixteen, at the hands of
Speaker 4: my older brother's best friend, and nobody knew about it
Speaker 4: until I was forced to tell my mom when I
Speaker 4: was sixteen and struggling at school. I'm twenty three now
Speaker 4: and I still struggle a lot. But since it's super
Speaker 4: taboo in our culture to talk about things like that,
Speaker 4: me and my mom only talked about it that one
Speaker 4: time and that was it. So now that I'm twenty three,
Speaker 4: I'm being pressured to be in relationships and stuff. My
Speaker 4: mom was always asking me, like why is your relationships failing?
Speaker 4: Why does it never last?
Speaker 3: And stuff?
Speaker 4: But I feel like when I get to the point
Speaker 4: of intimacy, I get scared, and you mentioned that in
Speaker 4: your book, so I was wondering how you got over that.
Speaker 4: Like even the word sex makes me uncomfortable. I feel
Speaker 4: like every man I'm ever talking to, that's all they want,
Speaker 4: even though half the time it's probably not. But I'm
Speaker 4: always self sabotaging. And I just wanted to know how
Speaker 4: you got over that and your point of view from
Speaker 4: now from when you wrote the book, because I know
Speaker 4: you say how you got over it in the book,
Speaker 4: but I just wanted to know, like what you're thinking now,
Speaker 4: what's kind of like your view of it and stuff.
Speaker 4: But I don't know, I just feel really pressured and
Speaker 4: just wondering what you're thinking. But anyways, thank you so much.
Speaker 4: I love you.
Speaker 3: Bye.
Speaker 1: Kate. Thank you first of all for your question, and
Speaker 1: I understand do you change in your name? I totally
Speaker 1: get that. I respect it. You sound like a very
Speaker 1: very smart young lady. First of all, you're very young,
Speaker 1: so be patient with yourself, be compassionate with yourself. This
Speaker 1: is not something that is going to heal or maybe
Speaker 1: ever go away. I'm still dealing with it, you know.
Speaker 1: I just saw my dad for the first time and
Speaker 1: I don't know how many years, seventeen years, and I
Speaker 1: thought I was over it, so it takes some time. Again,
Speaker 1: you're very young. Don't let anybody pressure you. I think
Speaker 1: you need to talk to your mom and tell her. Please, Mom,
Speaker 1: because you're still so young. Your twenties are when you're
Speaker 1: supposed to just really figure out who you are, what
Speaker 1: you want to do in life. There is absolutely no rush,
Speaker 1: and I think you need to tell your mom. Can
Speaker 1: you just in other words, lay off a little bit
Speaker 1: in a nice way, respectful way, of course, But I'm
Speaker 1: not ready to date. I don't want a date. Do
Speaker 1: you remember? Maybe you shoul tell her mom? Do you
Speaker 1: remember what happened to me? I know you don't really
Speaker 1: like to talk about it, but that's something I'm still
Speaker 1: dealing with. So I would really appreciate if you would
Speaker 1: just have patience and give me the time that I need.
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've already started therapy, but therapy
Speaker 1: is something that definitely helped me. And what you say
Speaker 1: about guys just wanting sex, that's for a long time
Speaker 1: what I thought I and that's why I went as
Speaker 1: far as like saying if girls was something that I
Speaker 1: wanted to do, and I tried that for a year
Speaker 1: and then I realized that I like guys. I think
Speaker 1: it's just also finding the right person. It took me
Speaker 1: so long to find the right person to make me
Speaker 1: feel comfortable and step into my sexuality. And you know,
Speaker 1: it just it takes time. You have to hear be
Speaker 1: patient with yourself as well, and earlier I said to
Speaker 1: be compassionate, like this is a process. This is not
Speaker 1: something you could be like, oh, I'm over it. It's
Speaker 1: gonna take some time, so don't rush anything and wait
Speaker 1: until you will find that person that's going to make
Speaker 1: you feel comfortable. And it took me so many years.
Speaker 1: You know, I had to kiss a lot of froggies
Speaker 1: to finally get my prints. So you know, just take
Speaker 1: your time and go to therapy. Do therapy. Therapy help
Speaker 1: me a lot life coaching. Therapy and life coaching are
Speaker 1: very different, so try therapy then life coaching, and that
Speaker 1: will definitely help you. And I know that SA affects
Speaker 1: all of us in different ways, so we can't compare
Speaker 1: ourselves to someone else's process, and you know, vice versa.
Speaker 1: It's just the first step is being self aware. And
Speaker 1: you sound very, very in tune with your feelings. You
Speaker 1: sound like a very smart young lady, so be proud
Speaker 1: of that you're aware of what's happening. I think it's
Speaker 1: just you vocalizing to your mom and to anyone else
Speaker 1: that is pressuring you, because you shouldn't feel pressure to
Speaker 1: be in a relationship. Again, you're very young, so I
Speaker 1: think just putting that to the side and vocalizing it
Speaker 1: and letting people know where you are is going to
Speaker 1: give you power and that room and that space, that
Speaker 1: soul space to step into your own and to heal
Speaker 1: this because you can and you will.
Speaker 3: You will.
Speaker 1: I promise you. This will make you a stronger person
Speaker 1: and it will help you help other people. I think
Speaker 1: when you start looking at it from the outside in
Speaker 1: and saying, Okay, how can I with this experience when
Speaker 1: I went through something that was so traumatic and hurt
Speaker 1: me very much, how can I help others? That just
Speaker 1: changes things And that's what helped me as well, just
Speaker 1: survive that from survivor to thriver, you know. So with
Speaker 1: all those things that I said, I hope that I
Speaker 1: was able to help you and just know that I'm
Speaker 1: with you. I understand what you're going through and not alone.
Speaker 1: Tell your mama. I think that's going to help you
Speaker 1: a lot, because we really care about what our parents say,
Speaker 1: and I think that that's probably what's really causing you
Speaker 1: and it's affecting you, So have the conversation with your
Speaker 1: mom bim and keep us updated. Please thank you everyone
Speaker 1: for listening to Dear Cheeky's and for watching. We appreciate
Speaker 1: you very much and we will catch you on the
Speaker 1: next episode of Dear Cheeky's. If you have any questions
Speaker 1: of your own and you'd like to, you know, have
Speaker 1: me answer them, go ahead and go on speakpipe dot com.
Speaker 1: Slash chiekis in Chill podcast. That is speakpipe dot com.
Speaker 1: Slashiggis in Chill podcast. I love you guys, Peace and
Speaker 1: love peace, Peace and love what peace. This is a
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