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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John the og story

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Speaker 1: Time podcast host.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, and we got some great stories coming up.

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Speaker 3: But before that, we got a teeny two minute break

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Speaker 3: from the sponsors that keep the show propped up like

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Speaker 3: a little house.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, my wife's ex is being pushy and it's

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Speaker 4: weirding me out.

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Speaker 5: Uh push him back.

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Speaker 4: I thirty eight male, love my wife thirty seven female

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Speaker 4: to the ends of times. She's the best thing that

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Speaker 4: ever happened to me, and she's thoughtful regarding my feelings.

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Speaker 4: I also try my best to be thoughtful with her

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Speaker 4: and not controlling her negative. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 4: from throwing me throwing you. And if you want to

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Speaker 4: submit your own stories, go to the ours slash.

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Speaker 6: Okay, story Time separate it.

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Speaker 4: So when we first met, my wife was in the

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Speaker 4: tail end of a relationship with the guy she dated

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Speaker 4: for a couple of years.

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Speaker 6: According to her, he avoided spice to sleep with her.

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Speaker 4: And often sent mixed signals, but in general seemed to

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Speaker 4: keep her at arm's length. They apparently never slept together,

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Speaker 4: and when they would kiss at the end of a date,

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Speaker 4: it was not romantic or passionate, just to peck. When

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Speaker 4: we first met, she was still dating him, and this

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Speaker 4: caused me some jealousy, but we relatively.

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Speaker 6: Soon became exclusive. Interesting.

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Speaker 4: She took a while to tell him, which caused me

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Speaker 4: some hurt feelings at the time, but I did my

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Speaker 4: best not to pressure her. I think she just felt

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Speaker 4: awkward when she did tell him and broke up with him.

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Speaker 4: They had not seen each other for some time. Anyway,

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Speaker 4: he apparently took it in stride and seemed to not

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Speaker 4: care her ex is an interesting guy who runs his

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Speaker 4: own fringe publishing business, which he originally started in order

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Speaker 4: to publish his own books.

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Speaker 6: Books themselves are not very good.

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Speaker 4: Although I'm not a professional author myself, I do think

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Speaker 4: I am a fair judge on this, and they also

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Speaker 4: have it a near zero circulation. But he projects success

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Speaker 4: and in the past infected her with dreams of stardom.

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Speaker 6: Supports your dream.

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Speaker 5: He is an author.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, if your wife has dreams of stardom, support her.

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Speaker 6: Come on.

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Speaker 4: It seems he's always pitching scripts to some famous movie

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Speaker 4: house or person, and a blockbuster movie dealer is always

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Speaker 4: around the corner.

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Speaker 6: My personal opinion, no one in their right mind would

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Speaker 6: make a movie based on his books, as they're highly.

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Speaker 4: Derivative and not very interesting, and he's basically been in

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Speaker 4: a seeming holding pattern for ten years now. The books

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Speaker 4: and movie deals seem like a bit of a pipe

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Speaker 4: dream to me, but people can of course be forgiven

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Speaker 4: for having pipe dreams. My wife's ex in the past

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Speaker 4: year has tried to get her to go on a

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Speaker 4: day trip to a remote wilderness location with him alone,

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Speaker 4: and is always trying to get her to do things

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Speaker 4: related to his publishing business for free. She has in

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Speaker 4: the past helped him by doing some unpaid editing, but

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Speaker 4: this over the past year has morphed into requests for voiceovers,

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Speaker 4: et cetera, and most lately, a request to edit a

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Speaker 4: screenplay for free. In the past, he has motivated her

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Speaker 4: to do these things with big promises that she can

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Speaker 4: have a part in one of his unmade future movies,

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Speaker 4: and like he has also dangled the possibility of accompanying

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Speaker 4: him on a trip to pitch one of his projects.

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Speaker 4: Soon after we met, he did take her on a

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Speaker 4: trip to see him accept a quasive Phony book award,

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Speaker 4: where he kissed her in front of his family and

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Speaker 4: otherwise apparently treated her like a goldfish.

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Speaker 6: I'm very confused about this. Whole situation.

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Speaker 5: I need time frame, yeah, because this before you get

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Speaker 5: like it seems like what we're getting at is that

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Speaker 5: she went after you guys started dating. That's what I'm

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Speaker 5: This is what I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's what I'm.

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Speaker 4: Hearing too, Like I feel like I'm understanding what OP is.

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Speaker 5: Like we're understanding it, but I'm like, does that make sense?

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Speaker 4: You just don't know why this is happening, and like

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Speaker 4: like I feel like what is happening is she never

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Speaker 4: broke up because he did put she broke up with him,

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Speaker 4: but that in quotes, Yeah, I feel like.

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Speaker 5: She did it, Op. Are you the other guy?

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Speaker 4: I think so because it's it like I I feel

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Speaker 4: like what it sounds like it reads like yeah, I

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Speaker 4: feel like what she's doing is just like oh my gosh,

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Speaker 4: like yeah, like we were in this relationship but he

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Speaker 4: treated me so bad and was like all this, like

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Speaker 4: you know, don't feel bad about me cheating on him

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Speaker 4: with you, Like.

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Speaker 5: It's like it's already over, but it's not over. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: it's pretty much over, so like we can see each other.

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Speaker 6: Right, but like he just doesn't know that yet. But

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Speaker 6: it's over. When the wildren and Stage Trip came up.

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Speaker 6: I was torn.

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Speaker 4: I didn't want her to feel pressured or to control her,

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Speaker 4: but I wasn't comfortable either. I wound up telling her that,

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Speaker 4: and she gently.

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Speaker 6: Put him off.

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Speaker 4: He wound up contacting her afterwards that she could change

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Speaker 4: her mind at the last second, which I feel was.

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Speaker 6: A bit in poor taste.

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Speaker 4: Recently, my wife's ex posted that she was to be

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Speaker 4: actually doing the screenplay rewrite of his book, even though

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Speaker 4: she hasn't agreed to it, and simply avoiding getting back

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Speaker 4: to him. I told her that I thought she should

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Speaker 4: just decline because in the end, spending a bunch of

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Speaker 4: time doing work for free that he could pay for

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Speaker 4: isn't worth it. She hasn't contacted him about it. In addition,

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Speaker 4: my wife's ex apparently claimed to receive a request from

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Speaker 4: one of his authors that my wife serve as his publicist,

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Speaker 4: even though my wife has never worked as a publicist.

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Speaker 4: What this feels to me like my wife's ex may

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Speaker 4: be setting up to ask her to go on an

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Speaker 4: unnecessary trip with him. I told my wife I didn't

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Speaker 4: think she should agree to serve as a sham publicist

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Speaker 4: where the ex would actually be doing the work, because

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Speaker 4: it would be fraudulent. But I'm wondering how much of.

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Speaker 6: This is based on my dislike of the situation. I

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Speaker 6: don't know.

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Speaker 4: I mean that seems still weird to me, and I'm

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Speaker 4: not in your situation too.

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Speaker 5: Ope, hey op, why here's the here's the funky part. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: why is she still in contact with her ex? One?

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Speaker 6: That's yeah?

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Speaker 5: Two? Why is she like I guess I'll go, I

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Speaker 5: guess I'll do these things with you? Why is she

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Speaker 5: agreeing to these things? And three? Why are you not

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Speaker 5: setting boundaries? And I also feel like we had a

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Speaker 5: time skip again they met and now she is his

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Speaker 5: Now she's his wife, out of nowhere they're was like, yeah,

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Speaker 5: where was I need a time frame?

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Speaker 4: Like how long have her and his her wife like

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Speaker 4: been working together after their relationship quote ended supposedly?

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Speaker 5: I need like this is very weird?

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Speaker 6: How very weird?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, she's all corresponding to all these things that her

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Speaker 5: supposed X wants.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like what, I'm never too much of a whoosh

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Speaker 4: to put my foot down, tell the guy to shove off,

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Speaker 4: et cetera.

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Speaker 6: And I'm in no way threatened by this guy.

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Speaker 4: I don't want to come off as controlling with my wife,

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Speaker 4: though she sees him as harmless and possibly in the past,

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Speaker 4: he seemed to treat her as a romantic non entity

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Speaker 4: except when around his family. To me, especially now that

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Speaker 4: we're married, that doesn't quite explain everything. I don't understand

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Speaker 4: why he seems to want to impress her when they've

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Speaker 4: broken up.

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Speaker 6: Am I out of line for feeling weird about all

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Speaker 6: of this?

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Speaker 4: If the ex does invite her to another trip, I

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Speaker 4: will probably tell her I'm not comfortable on the basis

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Speaker 4: of him pushing the boundaries of good taste. Not because

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Speaker 4: I don't trust her, but am I being a weader?

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Speaker 4: And should I let this guy have his harmless daydreams

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Speaker 4: and involve my wife this way? Yes, I trust my

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Speaker 4: wife completely. There is no chance she is cheating with

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Speaker 4: him or intends to. And there are some comments, but

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Speaker 4: I don't trust your wife.

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Speaker 5: We'll say that I don't trust this guy.

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Speaker 4: Common number one says, what does she say about him?

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Speaker 4: Does she think he's a pipe dreamer with unrealistic expectations

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Speaker 4: of his success? Does she work in any slightly related

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Speaker 4: field to publishing? Does she want to go on these trips?

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Speaker 4: Lots of questions because you've not mentioned what she.

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Speaker 6: Thinks about any of this.

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Speaker 4: Oh, he responds, She's told me at times that she

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Speaker 4: knows he won't hit it big, and that she feels

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Speaker 4: like he's not a very good writer, but that it's

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Speaker 4: always nice to daydream, and that she considers him harmless.

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Speaker 4: She doesn't work in an even slightly related field. She

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Speaker 4: didn't seem beaten up by not going on the wilderness thing,

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Speaker 4: but did ask what I'd think if he hypothetically asked

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Speaker 4: her to accompany him on a publishing related trip.

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Speaker 6: Hypothetically, I feel like he already invited her.

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Speaker 5: No is a perfect way of responding. I don't understand

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Speaker 5: why it's so hard to say no.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I would think that's weird. I think it's weird.

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Speaker 4: I said, I'd be uncomfortable, especially since the whole thing

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Speaker 4: seems a.

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Speaker 6: Bit of a sham.

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Speaker 4: She says she likes his family and had fond memories

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Speaker 4: of when he she and his family would get together.

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Speaker 4: And his family are also in publishing related fields, so

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Speaker 4: his family members might go on these trips. This is

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Speaker 4: all just so suspicious, Like it feels so backwards to

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Speaker 4: read all this.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, okay, we're both and we always get these.

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Speaker 4: Words like yeah, right, it's like huh, huh, what is it?

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Speaker 5: Give narrator, op what do we do? Yeah, there's a

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Speaker 5: I feel like like everything's nonchalant, like this all makes sense, right,

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Speaker 5: It's like, no, two plus two equals four, but two

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Speaker 5: plus two minus two plus eight and that we're at

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Speaker 5: the answer. But yeah, we're missing context because.

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Speaker 4: Like we hear what you're saying, we're not. You're saying

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Speaker 4: things very clearly.

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Speaker 5: We questioned it effort every paragraphicsation. Yeah, so you said

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Speaker 5: this is what's happening, and we're like that's yeah. Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Like the fact that OPI is just like confidently saying

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Speaker 4: these things and just being like, yeah, this is like normal,

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Speaker 4: that's like what she says and not thinking that that's

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Speaker 4: like a clear lie.

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Speaker 6: Like she's just really close to his family. Like how

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Speaker 6: many families of your exes are you still super close with?

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Speaker 5: None?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like enough to still hang out with your ex

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Speaker 4: and go on trips just because his family might be there.

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Speaker 5: Did they break up? I'm I don't think that's the thing.

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Speaker 5: I don't think they broke up.

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Speaker 6: Crazy. He is too accepting of all.

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Speaker 5: Of this, Opie, are you being played right now?

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Speaker 4: I absolutely think he is my goodness. So someone responds,

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Speaker 4: So when she hasn't been paid for presumably and the

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Speaker 4: movies have not materialized, what does this make you think

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Speaker 4: that she's bored of broken promises and won't work for free.

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Speaker 4: I don't think you even have a problem. She's not

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Speaker 4: bothered about trips. She doesn't want to do things for him.

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Speaker 4: She says he's harmless and possibly, Uh what are you

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Speaker 4: worried about exactly? Opie says she was ambivalent about editing

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Speaker 4: his screenplay but wasn't looking forward to the time drain.

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Speaker 4: He didn't break any promises, He just made vague, grandiose

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Speaker 4: predictions of future success in which she'd be included if

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Speaker 4: it ever panned out. I'm not worried she'd cheat on me,

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Speaker 4: but I don't like the pushiness and the continued attempts

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Speaker 4: to impress her. It feels improper and like he should

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Speaker 4: have given up by this point. Whether he has some

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Speaker 4: sort of spicy sleep problem or a different orientation or not,

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Speaker 4: he is to some degree pursuing her.

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Speaker 6: Or that's how it feels.

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Speaker 4: Someone responds, he sounds like, for one of a better word,

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Speaker 4: a loser and nol I suppose it's slightly unusual that

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Speaker 4: your wife still has any sort of friendship with him

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Speaker 4: after all this time, but it really seems harmless. There

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Speaker 4: is an update, So my wife's ex has now posted

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Speaker 4: on social media again with a full face shot of

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Speaker 4: her and another old one of her playing in a band,

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Speaker 4: saying that she plays as a musician in multiple venues,

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Speaker 4: getting some of the details wrong and basically presenting her

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Speaker 4: as a member of his business. He then commented with

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Speaker 4: alter ego accounts, as he often does, saying how cool

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Speaker 4: that is, etc. That's crazy, making fake accounts to comment

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Speaker 4: on his own posts.

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Speaker 6: That's wild this.

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Speaker 5: Guy, This guy's a dreamer.

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Speaker 6: Yeah for sure, for sure.

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Speaker 5: I don't like this.

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Speaker 1: I like this.

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Speaker 4: So we've got some selected history here. They used to

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Speaker 4: date for a couple of years up to when she

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Speaker 4: met me. They apparently didn't do much together and never

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Speaker 4: slept together.

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Speaker 6: I don't believe that. He has written a few polpe.

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Speaker 4: Science fiction books and talks constantly of Hollywood stardom, which

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Speaker 4: he's been doing apparently for a ten plus years. He

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Speaker 4: presents himself as a major author, though apparently less than

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Speaker 4: a couple dozen people, including family members, have read his books.

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Speaker 4: He has his own small publishing business, which seems to

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Speaker 4: be a one man.

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Speaker 6: Shop, though it's hard to tell.

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Speaker 4: He had my wife do some editing for him for

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Speaker 4: three years ago, but still I believe presents her as

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Speaker 4: a publicist she isn't one, and submissions editor posing as

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Speaker 4: her via email, et cetera. He has multiple online accounts

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Speaker 4: that he uses to the apparent size of this business.

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Speaker 4: He's told one author recently that she would be the

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Speaker 4: publicist for his book. Again, she is not a publicist

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Speaker 4: and never agreed to this. He's continued to pump her

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Speaker 4: up with dreams of startup since we've been together, including

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Speaker 4: promising her a place in his movie to be produced

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Speaker 4: by Peter Jackson, which will never happen.

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Speaker 5: Say, this is one of the craziest stories I've ever heard.

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Speaker 5: What is going on? This guy's a scam artist who

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Speaker 5: is funding this by the way, so.

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Speaker 4: He'll also promise that he will take her on trips

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Speaker 4: to promote Whirlwind deals, et cetera. In reality, all that's

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Speaker 4: happened is that he drove himself to a major city

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Speaker 4: to drop off a script somewhere. It feels to me

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Speaker 4: like he's stepping up contact via Facebook. For example, he

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Speaker 4: announced grand Lee recently that she would be finishing his

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Speaker 4: screenplay that he was too emotionally invested in to edit

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Speaker 4: after rewriting the books several times over the ten years

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Speaker 4: and doing the screenplay himself.

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Speaker 6: She never agreed to do this.

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Speaker 5: My brain cannot process it.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I just it feels like op is like seeing

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Speaker 4: all this stuff happen, but he's not actually like with

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Speaker 4: his wife. Like it feels like he's hearing five percent

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Speaker 4: of the story and then we're getting two percent of

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Speaker 4: that five percent.

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Speaker 5: Thank you. That's what it feels like that.

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Speaker 4: It feels like because she should like, if she didn't

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Speaker 4: agree to it, she should be mad.

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Speaker 5: Right, Why yes, thank you? Why does she keep saying

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Speaker 5: yes to all of these things?

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Speaker 6: I don't know. I don't get it. There is a

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Speaker 6: little bit more I hope we have answered.

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Speaker 5: No, I have more questions.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, it's what's gonna happen. Let's be realistic.

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Speaker 4: So I talked about this with her yesterday and this morning,

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Speaker 4: telling her that I'm uncomfortable, but not because I think

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Speaker 4: she'll cheat with him or anything like that.

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Speaker 6: I feel like he's being inappropriate. She said, she feels

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Speaker 6: like it's normal behavior for him.

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Speaker 4: But I told her, and I didn't think that most

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Speaker 4: people would find this normal behavior, and it's pushy in

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Speaker 4: my opinion. She got defensive and huffed out of the house.

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Speaker 4: Am I out of line? I deactivated Facebook so this

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Speaker 4: won't get my goat for now. I don't want to

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Speaker 4: be unfair to my wife, as I love her deeply.

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Speaker 4: I just feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Since she

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Speaker 4: doesn't see any of this is weird. I guess in

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Speaker 4: the end, if she doesn't want to do anything about it,

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Speaker 4: I don't really want to pressure her, but I do

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Speaker 4: at least want to know what others would think or

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Speaker 4: do in my place.

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Speaker 6: Okay, so I'm taking crazy pills for sure.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, my wife might have cheated on me. I've seen

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Speaker 5: the evidence.

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Speaker 6: I don't know if mike is the right word here.

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Speaker 5: Digging never helped any relationship and I twenty seven male.

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Speaker 6: I dug what a great way to start.

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Speaker 5: Thank you. I have my shovel ready, not that I

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Speaker 5: was looking for anything, but my wife thirty female. My

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Speaker 5: wife's Facebook was left open, and I was curious. There

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Speaker 5: was a brief conversation with a guy over the course

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Speaker 5: of about a week in June twenty eleven. It starts

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Speaker 5: off innocently, and she even tells him to text her

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Speaker 5: if he can keep it nice. By the way, this

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Speaker 5: comes from user random t way zero one, and if

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Speaker 5: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

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Speaker 5: r slash Okay storytime subrendit. So I only have bits

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Speaker 5: of the conversation since I assume most of it went

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Speaker 5: on in text messages. That's not a good sentence, you assume. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: don't assume.

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Speaker 6: Don't do that.

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Speaker 5: But what I do have is that after about five

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Speaker 5: days of chatting with some guy she's never ever met

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Speaker 5: in real life, telling him that she is is soaking.

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Speaker 5: Oh with that with the winkie face.

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Speaker 6: Why maybe she went to the pool and jumped in

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Speaker 6: with her clothes on.

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Speaker 5: Hey, you're soaking? What does that mean?

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Speaker 4: Maybe she went to a water parking on the big

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Speaker 4: bucket of water dumped on her.

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Speaker 5: Was this the ice bike a challenge? No? This was

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Speaker 5: no I supposed to a challenge, was like twenty fifteen,

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Speaker 5: he replies, Then have your boyfriend do something about it.

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Speaker 2: Lol.

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Speaker 5: She then tells him that she was just giving him

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Speaker 5: what he wanted. This guy that she never had ever

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Speaker 5: met in real life before and only connected with over

355
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:04,440
Speaker 5: Facebook we went through a really dark period two years prior.

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Speaker 5: Oh we miscarried twins mid two thousand and nine.

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Speaker 6: I'm so sorry, my goodness.

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Speaker 5: Which caused her to have a serious depression, which is

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Speaker 5: again reasonable. We had ups and downs for a long time.

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Speaker 5: I thought maybe this was a time when she was

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Speaker 5: depressed or angry with me, or I wasn't giving her

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Speaker 5: enough attention. I checked her Facebook messages back around the

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Speaker 5: same timeframe. It was a very playful conversation. We lived

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Speaker 5: still do together at the time, and I could tell

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Speaker 5: that I was out of the town for the weekend

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Speaker 5: visiting family, but our conversation including calling each other pet names,

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Speaker 5: her telling me that she loves me. Why is it

368
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:43,440
Speaker 5: spelled that way? Very playful conversations with lots of lols

369
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 5: back and forth. It looks like we were having a

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Speaker 5: great night. A short tidbit, she messaged me, you scream,

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Speaker 5: I scream. We all scream for ice cream?

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Speaker 6: Okay, why is that relevant?

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Speaker 5: I compared the two timeframes against each other, and she's

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Speaker 5: having this conversation with me, this fun, intimate and loving

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Speaker 5: conversation with me, while she is telling another guy that

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Speaker 5: she is soaking. It completely tears my heart out. It's

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Speaker 5: four thirty am, and I've been up all night since

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Speaker 5: last night reading through all this stuff, and it's clear

379
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Speaker 5: that she was the one pushing the naughty conversation and

380
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Speaker 5: not him.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, because I mean when she would say something like that,

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Speaker 4: I don't think she's out of water park for real.

383
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:26,439
Speaker 4: And the fact that the guy responded like, Okay, have

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Speaker 4: your boyfriend.

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Speaker 6: Take care of that for you, yeah, not me?

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Speaker 4: That does kind of feel like obviously he's not just

387
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Speaker 4: cutting contact with her, which is probably what he should do,

388
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Speaker 4: but he is trying to be like I don't really

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Speaker 4: want that, Like you have you figure that out yourself.

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Speaker 5: Yeah. And also the fact that you're snooping into you know,

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Speaker 5: your Facebook, your partner's Facebook messages or any messages because

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Speaker 5: you're curious. I mean, yes, it's bad, but that also

393
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Speaker 5: means there's something wrong with your relationship.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, like if you if you had to get there

395
00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,960
Speaker 4: to begin with, like what caused you to?

396
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Speaker 5: It was just OK. It was just like Facebook was

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Speaker 5: open and I guess her account was logged in and

398
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,840
Speaker 5: she's like, oh, messages, let me Yeah, that's not you know,

399
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:10,880
Speaker 5: let me look at her messages because that's totally okay.

400
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:13,280
Speaker 4: Right, and then it's always tough too, because then like

401
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,960
Speaker 4: she can throw that back at him and it's like, Okay, well, yeah, now, Pe,

402
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:18,360
Speaker 4: you're not totally innocent in here.

403
00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:19,880
Speaker 6: Obviously what she's doing is worse, but.

404
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,280
Speaker 5: Like, yeah, it's just like that's already breaking the grounds

405
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:26,240
Speaker 5: of what's your where is your relationship stand? If you're

406
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Speaker 5: really uncomfortable on that part.

407
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,480
Speaker 6: Yeah, I know.

408
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,280
Speaker 5: That's not calling you out of you, that's just in general,

409
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Speaker 5: that's just like, oh, I have to snoop through somebody's

410
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Speaker 5: personal messages because why not?

411
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Speaker 6: Yeah, exactly.

412
00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,760
Speaker 5: I also found another conversation from January twenty twelve with

413
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,840
Speaker 5: a guy she had hooked up with before we were together,

414
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,159
Speaker 5: and she tells him that he makes her want to

415
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,479
Speaker 5: do naughty things because of how much she liked him

416
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,640
Speaker 5: in the past. Then she has to take a walk

417
00:18:50,680 --> 00:18:53,159
Speaker 5: of shame to the shower because she regretted seeing it.

418
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Speaker 5: You still said it. Yeah, I could tell through the

419
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,399
Speaker 5: lead up that she was reluctant to say it, so

420
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Speaker 5: I don't even know why she did. She still said it.

421
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:04,920
Speaker 5: In the four years since, we've had a wonderful three

422
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Speaker 5: year old daughter, gotten a dog, bought a house. My god,

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Speaker 5: I don't know what to do. I have an appointment

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00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,359
Speaker 5: with a counselor on Friday that I will speak with

425
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:15,360
Speaker 5: about it. I don't feel like I can wait until Friday.

426
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,879
Speaker 5: If our daughter wasn't in the picture, we would be

427
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:22,360
Speaker 5: over right now. Yeah, this sucks because just hours ago

428
00:19:22,480 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 5: we were cuddled up on the couch together under the

429
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Speaker 5: blankets while I was holding her in my arms for

430
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Speaker 5: forty five minutes. We just talked and had a great

431
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Speaker 5: and intimate conversation. I don't even recognize the woman who

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00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:36,280
Speaker 5: sent those messages to those other men. I don't have

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Speaker 5: evidence that she actually cheated, since both of the other

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Speaker 5: guys were in relationships at the time and shut it

435
00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:45,080
Speaker 5: down real quick. So she didn't do anything with these men. Yeah,

436
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,159
Speaker 5: she messaged these men, and it was the thought and

437
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:52,359
Speaker 5: she if she had the opportunity, she would have. Yeah.

438
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 5: If they said yeah, sure, she would have.

439
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 1: Yeah.

440
00:19:55,640 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 5: So that's not you know, giving her like h clean slate, right,

441
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:03,520
Speaker 5: she tried to cheat, and in this case, she actually

442
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,439
Speaker 5: did cheat because she messaged other men. Yeah, things that

443
00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 5: she should only message be messaging you about exactly.

444
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:14,239
Speaker 4: It's like sure, I mean like physically, yeah, maybe she

445
00:20:14,240 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 4: didn't do anything of that, you don't have evidence of that,

446
00:20:16,840 --> 00:20:19,879
Speaker 4: but like that doesn't mean that you can only be

447
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:22,439
Speaker 4: upset about like if she crossed that line, you know,

448
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,280
Speaker 4: because like you said, you know, she's spicy texting these people.

449
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:26,760
Speaker 6: I think that would.

450
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:27,520
Speaker 2: Be considered cheating.

451
00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:32,639
Speaker 5: Definitely cheating. Yeah, e Isy, yeah that I'm sorry, that

452
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 5: is cheating. Ope, yeah, I mean maybe some people out

453
00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 5: there it could be like that's not right to us. Yeah,

454
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,920
Speaker 5: I think we both agree that's cheating exactly.

455
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 6: Even if it wasn't, you don't have to be okay

456
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 6: with it.

457
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 5: Yeah, but it makes me wonder how many other times

458
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,160
Speaker 5: did someone else go along with it that I don't

459
00:20:49,160 --> 00:20:51,919
Speaker 5: know about. I can't even think straight. And we have

460
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,000
Speaker 5: an update. Oh man, I'm gonna go straight into it,

461
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:57,080
Speaker 5: go into it. Yesterday started off horribly.

462
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:57,600
Speaker 6: Oh no.

463
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:00,480
Speaker 5: I got three hours of sleep if that, and wasn't

464
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:03,680
Speaker 5: able to eat anything at all all day. I still

465
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,560
Speaker 5: haven't eaten as a Monday night dinner. Get some food.

466
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,240
Speaker 5: I know, it's hard. While I was picking my daughter

467
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,679
Speaker 5: up from school yesterday, why was that the doctor? I

468
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,920
Speaker 5: took my daughter by the paternity testing clinic? Oh boy?

469
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,159
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, I didn't even think about that.

470
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,840
Speaker 5: Oh boy, yeah, so I took my daughter by.

471
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 6: The daughter's three and that was four years ago.

472
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 5: Oh oh boy, yeah, this is I. Oh so I

473
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 5: took my daughter by the paternity testing clinic. I lined

474
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 5: up the dates. She told the second guy that she

475
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 5: wanted to do naughty stuff with him nine months and

476
00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:41,679
Speaker 5: three days before my daughter was born. My daughter is

477
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,960
Speaker 5: the spitting image of me, so I'm not too worried

478
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:48,160
Speaker 5: about it. Oh well, okay, okay, okay. After I got

479
00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 5: off work at five, I had to apologize to my

480
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:52,320
Speaker 5: boss for being down the whole day. I went to

481
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,960
Speaker 5: our other house. You have another house. What do your

482
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:55,400
Speaker 5: two houses?

483
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:55,639
Speaker 7: Right?

484
00:21:55,840 --> 00:21:57,000
Speaker 6: Drop? Some lare there.

485
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 5: We are in the process of moving into a new house. Okay,

486
00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 5: not all of our stuff is out of the old one,

487
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:05,480
Speaker 5: yet our memory keepsakes are still at the old house.

488
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 5: I grabbed everything out of the box of things she

489
00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:10,399
Speaker 5: had given me from the timeframe of the conversations. It

490
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 5: hurt a lot, stuck them in my trunk. I had

491
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 5: the intention of waiting till Friday after I'd spoken with

492
00:22:17,320 --> 00:22:21,160
Speaker 5: my counselor, but I just couldn't wait. She could tell

493
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:23,240
Speaker 5: something was off the minute I walked in the door.

494
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,359
Speaker 5: I also grabbed an adult soda after work to try

495
00:22:26,359 --> 00:22:28,919
Speaker 5: and make the night easier. I just couldn't play a charade.

496
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 5: I didn't want to speak or even look at her,

497
00:22:31,560 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 5: and she could tell when she asked what was making

498
00:22:34,720 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 5: me so grumpy? I just told her we would talk

499
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 5: after our daughter went to sleep. I felt the time

500
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 5: from getting home to her going to sleep with random errands,

501
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:44,399
Speaker 5: just so I wouldn't have to look at her. I

502
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 5: ran to the market, came back, ran to fat to

503
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:51,280
Speaker 5: get some fast food, took a shower, etc. Once our

504
00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:54,159
Speaker 5: daughter was asleep, she said, all right, let's get this

505
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,280
Speaker 5: griping over with, in a joking manner, like it was

506
00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,120
Speaker 5: going to be a high charge on the credit card

507
00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:01,719
Speaker 5: or something like that. I told her that how this

508
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 5: night went dependent on her complete honesty to me and

509
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 5: to God, and she agreed. I asked her how many

510
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 5: people she had slept with since we had been together, None,

511
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,600
Speaker 5: she says. I asked her how many people she had

512
00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:18,120
Speaker 5: sent explicit photos to since we had been together, none,

513
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,879
Speaker 5: she says. I asked her how many people she had

514
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 5: had inappropriate conversations with. She hesitated on this one and

515
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:30,920
Speaker 5: said none. It was a disappointing answer. Yeah, well, then Opie,

516
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:33,320
Speaker 5: you got your answer. I then went on to read

517
00:23:33,400 --> 00:23:36,639
Speaker 5: her our entire goofy loving conversation from that night and

518
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,720
Speaker 5: asked her if it meant anything to her and if

519
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 5: she remembered it. She didn't. I told her to keep

520
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 5: the date and time of the conversation in mine June seventh,

521
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 5: twenty eleven. Then I pulled the picture of her conversation

522
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 5: with the other guy at the exact same time and

523
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:56,959
Speaker 5: handed her my phone. Her face went white, shoulders drooped,

524
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,879
Speaker 5: and she said, I don't even remember this on a

525
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 5: in a somewhat down fashion that I pulled the other

526
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 5: conversation she had with the other guy about him making

527
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 5: her want to do naughty things and showed her it.

528
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 5: I told her I had a difficult time believing that

529
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,280
Speaker 5: she didn't remember that one since it went on for

530
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 5: six months. It started innocent for the first few months,

531
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,120
Speaker 5: so I didn't really care. It was about four months

532
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:25,879
Speaker 5: in that it started getting inappropriate. So how do you

533
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 5: think she's going to respond, Oh.

534
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 6: My gosh, I don't.

535
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 4: I feel like it'll just be basic cheater responses, just like.

536
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,639
Speaker 1: No, you went through my phone, you can't do that.

537
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, yah, yeah that and then just being like, oh,

538
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:39,400
Speaker 4: like it meant nothing, Like I don't know, I don't

539
00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,720
Speaker 4: even remember so clearly we have a kid together, like

540
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 4: I love you, Like why did you why is this

541
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 4: a problem?

542
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 6: Yeah?

543
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, I honestly don't even remember what She replied with,

544
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 5: Dang it, he's good at memorying, remembering everything else.

545
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:53,160
Speaker 7: Right.

546
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 5: By this time, my anger was just building and building.

547
00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 5: I went out to my truck and got all of

548
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 5: our memories from that time frame, every note she wrote,

549
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,680
Speaker 5: every gift she gave me. We went through it all.

550
00:25:04,040 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 5: I read all of what she wrote her tongue, she

551
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:08,960
Speaker 5: loved me, what a great boyfriend I was, how she

552
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 5: couldn't wait to spend her life with me, et cetera.

553
00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,679
Speaker 5: It hurts so much reading those notes. By the end

554
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,480
Speaker 5: of the notes, I was yelling, Oh, man, I know

555
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 5: you're very angry, but don't you don't want to yell.

556
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,679
Speaker 5: You don't want to keep your composure, and especially in

557
00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 5: this moment. I showed her specific ones. This one right here.

558
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 5: You told me you loved me and wrote me this

559
00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:31,000
Speaker 5: note two freaking days after you told another guy you

560
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,880
Speaker 5: were soaking.

561
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:36,280
Speaker 6: Ugh grows descriptor Yeah.

562
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 5: I don't remember what all I said. I don't remember

563
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:40,920
Speaker 5: what all she said. It was just a long blur

564
00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 5: of tears and yelling. I do remember asking how many

565
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:47,720
Speaker 5: of those things she got? Me worse sincere because I

566
00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 5: didn't understand how she could be saying such sweet things

567
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,719
Speaker 5: to me while turning around and saying all those things

568
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,400
Speaker 5: to the other guys. She said they were all sincere,

569
00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,040
Speaker 5: and she did meet them, but I don't know. I

570
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 5: won't even be able to look at them anymore without

571
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 5: being reminded of what happened. I can't give details because

572
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:10,119
Speaker 5: I honestly don't remember them. It culminated in her getting

573
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:12,960
Speaker 5: angry about digging up the past right what we called

574
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 5: it regretful that she said those things. She promised me

575
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,879
Speaker 5: over and over that she wasn't that person anymore, that

576
00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 5: she had changed after our daughter was born. I honestly

577
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,119
Speaker 5: do believe her on this, as I've found no evidence

578
00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,520
Speaker 5: to prove otherwise. Our daughter helped lift her out of

579
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 5: depression and make her a happier person, so I truly

580
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:32,240
Speaker 5: believe these messages might have been due to the dark

581
00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 5: time in our life. She did bring this up and

582
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:36,520
Speaker 5: said that she was just looking for someone to talk to,

583
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:40,440
Speaker 5: for someone to distract her. I don't know your boyfriend.

584
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 4: Op, Yeah, maybe that would be a person to turn

585
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,120
Speaker 4: to to help her.

586
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,160
Speaker 5: Yes, having a daughter with somebody still doesn't negate that

587
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 5: you cheated on your partner.

588
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:54,480
Speaker 6: Right, or like obbies or friends or something like something

589
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:55,160
Speaker 6: you wanted.

590
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:58,160
Speaker 5: To rely on strange men on the internet like, yeah,

591
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,960
Speaker 5: come on, I don't know. This is all a jumbled

592
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 5: up paraphrase of what happened over the course of several hours.

593
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 5: I thought getting it out in the open would make

594
00:27:05,920 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 5: me feel better, but I still feel like crap. Young

595
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,520
Speaker 5: at her didn't help. The tears didn't help. Whatever consolation

596
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,960
Speaker 5: she had didn't help. It still hurts just as much,

597
00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,880
Speaker 5: and I still can't sleep. I don't think I've ever

598
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,720
Speaker 5: been cut this deep. That's a hard.

599
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 6: Rhyme, that is, Yeah, I keep that in mind anyone

600
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 6: that makes songs.

601
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 5: She said she would move out if that is what

602
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 5: I wanted. I don't know what I want. I want

603
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,560
Speaker 5: the happiness we had back. I want her to have

604
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 5: never sent those messages. Half of me wants to punt

605
00:27:35,760 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 5: her to the curb, and the other half of me

606
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 5: wants her to stay just so I get to see

607
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 5: my daughter every day. I guess I will try to

608
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,800
Speaker 5: clear that up on Friday with my counselor good. I

609
00:27:45,800 --> 00:27:48,439
Speaker 5: wish this had never happened. I wish she could have

610
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:50,720
Speaker 5: talked to me instead of the other guys. I don't

611
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,160
Speaker 5: know where to go from here. The love is gone,

612
00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:55,680
Speaker 5: the trust is gone, and the first two to three

613
00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:58,440
Speaker 5: years of us being together is now tarnished because I'll

614
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 5: never one hundred percent know what she has said to

615
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 5: other people that I haven't seen. I don't even want

616
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,760
Speaker 5: the memories of us being together for those first years now. Oh,

617
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,600
Speaker 5: I guess I'll just take it one day at a

618
00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:11,160
Speaker 5: time and see where it goes. If there had been

619
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,359
Speaker 5: any inkling of indiscretion after our daughter was born, that

620
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,760
Speaker 5: would have been the end. But with it being so

621
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 5: long ago without any evidence, after those messages, and believe me,

622
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,320
Speaker 5: I looked high and low. I just don't know. I

623
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 5: don't want to blow up my entire life, but I

624
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,400
Speaker 5: don't want to feel this way forever. Any advice. So,

625
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,440
Speaker 5: and that is the end of that story that we

626
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,800
Speaker 5: said our piece again. Take it. You know. It's one

627
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 5: of those things where you just can't rush this. Ye,

628
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 5: nothing is going to be fixed over a day or

629
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:45,080
Speaker 5: even a month. This is gonna be a thing between

630
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 5: you and your partner. And see how you feel if

631
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,840
Speaker 5: you really think the trust is gone, you can no

632
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,760
Speaker 5: longer trust your partner, and you'd be having that thought

633
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:56,440
Speaker 5: in the back of your head. I think you call it.

634
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 5: It's not fair to you, and it's not fair to

635
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 5: your partner as well, because yes, she cheated, But now

636
00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 5: you're like, every day you'd be thinking did she cheat?

637
00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:06,680
Speaker 5: What if?

638
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:06,760
Speaker 4: This?

639
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 5: What if? That?

640
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:07,479
Speaker 8: What?

641
00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:09,120
Speaker 5: It's the what if game, and that's going to eat

642
00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:09,760
Speaker 5: at you more.

643
00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 3: I should Yeah, hey, it's Sam. We're going to get

644
00:29:13,520 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 3: back to the stories. But here's three minutes fads from

645
00:29:15,360 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 3: her sponsors.

646
00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 6: My wife's dream job is in the US, but I

647
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:20,080
Speaker 6: don't want to move.

648
00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:24,360
Speaker 7: Rolling stone gathers no moss, so I guess you like moss.

649
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:28,040
Speaker 8: My male thirty seven wife female thirty eight, was recently

650
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 8: offered a position at a major corporation in California. She's

651
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 8: currently working as a chemical engineer in Dublin, earning a

652
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 8: very competitive salary. The only catch, at least for my wife,

653
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 8: is that there's a little to no room for professional growth.

654
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 8: In her current job because she's already reached the highest

655
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 8: position available in her department. By the way, this comes

656
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:50,360
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657
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Speaker 8: you want to submit your own stories, go to the

658
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:55,480
Speaker 8: r slash Okay storytime Separate it. So a few months

659
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 8: ago she mentioned looking around for a new job as

660
00:29:58,080 --> 00:30:01,760
Speaker 8: she was feeling really burnt out with her As her husband,

661
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 8: of course, I wholeheartedly supported her. She never really mentioned

662
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 8: anything about us or that she was even applying to

663
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 8: a position in California. Now Ever, since she received her

664
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 8: offer a few days ago, she's been really happy and

665
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 8: excited about possibly moving there, Despite my concerns. I've been

666
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 8: very supportive because I did not want her to think

667
00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,120
Speaker 8: that I'm not happy for her, because I am. But

668
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 8: I really don't want to move to the US. My

669
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,440
Speaker 8: wife and I are originally from the Philippines. We have

670
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:29,600
Speaker 8: two little girls who were born here in Ireland. The

671
00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,360
Speaker 8: eldest will be starting primary school this year, and I

672
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 8: worry that if we ever move, she'll have a hard

673
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 8: time adjusting to a completely different country. In addition, with

674
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 8: the current political climate, I'm scared that she might be

675
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 8: bullied for being an immigrant, not that it can happen here,

676
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,520
Speaker 8: but the chances of it happening in the US.

677
00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 6: Are more likely.

678
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 8: Our parents also frequently visit US from the Philippines and

679
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 8: they get to be present in our children's lives. But again,

680
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,840
Speaker 8: with its current political climate, if we move to the US,

681
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 8: it might be difficult for our parents to apply for

682
00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 8: tourist visa and fly and to visit US. My wife

683
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 8: is really and it fills me with joy seeing how

684
00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,920
Speaker 8: excited she is, especially after hearing her complain about how

685
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:07,760
Speaker 8: unfulfilling her current job is for months on end. But

686
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 8: I honestly don't think moving our family to the United

687
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,480
Speaker 8: States is the mood. How do I tell her this

688
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 8: without sounding like an unsupportive comment sorry, like an unsupportive husband?

689
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 8: Comments comment one, which part of California we might be

690
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:21,560
Speaker 8: able to run the numbers for you and show your

691
00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 8: wife that even with the pay increase, it's possible your

692
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,480
Speaker 8: quality of life will go down, and that's without the

693
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:30,280
Speaker 8: current political climate. California is unreasonably expensive. I think it's

694
00:31:30,320 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 8: in Sunny Vale. The company in California is indeed offering

695
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:36,280
Speaker 8: her a significant amount of money, much higher than her

696
00:31:36,280 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 8: current salary. However, we already own our place here in Dublin.

697
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,720
Speaker 8: If we move to the US, we have to find

698
00:31:41,720 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 8: a new home. I've been looking around online, and the

699
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 8: price tags for the properties at the city where she

700
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:49,200
Speaker 8: will be working in make working in makes her salary

701
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:50,480
Speaker 8: look like minimum weight.

702
00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:51,080
Speaker 1: Reply.

703
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 8: The average cost of a house in Sunny Veil is

704
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,040
Speaker 8: over two million dollars.

705
00:31:56,240 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: Your income combined.

706
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 8: Would have to be at least close to half a

707
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,520
Speaker 8: million a year two young children in that high cost

708
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:03,760
Speaker 8: of living area to be comfortable. You really need to

709
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 8: run the numbers. It is an insanely expensive place to

710
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 8: move and live. Common to I'm curious if she'd even

711
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,120
Speaker 8: be able to work get a work visa right now. Personally,

712
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 8: I wouldn't count on getting one for your whole family,

713
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 8: and even if you did, it could get taken away

714
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 8: without y'all even being notified. First look up. What's happening

715
00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 8: to foreign academics and students? Absolutely to people with green

716
00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,600
Speaker 8: cards are being you know, deported.

717
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:30,280
Speaker 7: So we got a guy up here being like, I'll

718
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:33,800
Speaker 7: just denaturalize anyone I don't like and I send them away.

719
00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: It's like, that's that's insanity.

720
00:32:36,640 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 8: People with citizenships.

721
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,960
Speaker 6: He's trying to get rid of So this is.

722
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,920
Speaker 1: Really trying to start a war with the City of

723
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 1: New York and theirs.

724
00:32:43,320 --> 00:32:46,760
Speaker 8: Col in California, less healthcare expenses, which will be a

725
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:51,920
Speaker 8: shock after living in Ireland, you know, in general insurance. Realistically,

726
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 8: this is the worst time possible to consider coming to

727
00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 8: the US, and you would be putting yourselves and your

728
00:32:56,840 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 8: children in actual danger. Ice does not care if you're

729
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:03,479
Speaker 8: here legally, and due process is not guaranteed. Also, if

730
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 8: either of you have posted anything political online that goes

731
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 8: against the administration's policies in any new way, you're not

732
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,800
Speaker 8: getting in or you're getting deported without making it through customs.

733
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 8: She needs to look elsewhere. You're not being unsupportive, You're

734
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 8: being smart. There is an update, folks. You wakes. Uh Yeah,

735
00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 8: I mean literally just say I'm so proud of you,

736
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 8: so excited that you got this. I don't think because

737
00:33:26,320 --> 00:33:28,520
Speaker 8: of these reasons it is the best time to go.

738
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean, you could just like even be like,

739
00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 7: I don't know, I don't know anything about culturally what

740
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 7: it's like to raise kids in Ireland, but I'm sure

741
00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 7: it'd be better than the you know, I don't know,

742
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:40,840
Speaker 7: I don't know.

743
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:42,640
Speaker 1: We're not to be brave?

744
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:43,959
Speaker 6: What was that?

745
00:33:44,680 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 1: Because Ireland not a German. Our culture is just a

746
00:33:47,960 --> 00:33:48,920
Speaker 1: mess right now out here.

747
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:52,080
Speaker 7: Honestly, it's it's kind of just I would I would

748
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 7: be petrified raising a child in this country right now,

749
00:33:55,680 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 7: which is why my buddy went to England. Yeah, because

750
00:33:58,560 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 7: he did not want to raise his kids here.

751
00:34:00,200 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 8: Yep, I got my Australian citizenship in my back pocket.

752
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,920
Speaker 8: Hello everyone, thank you so much for all the advice

753
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:08,040
Speaker 8: on my previous post. I made that post at the

754
00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 8: break of dawn, and I think I was even half asleep,

755
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 8: So I apologize for the lack of details. I didn't

756
00:34:13,480 --> 00:34:15,879
Speaker 8: expect it to receive so many comments, and I can't

757
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:18,440
Speaker 8: reply to all of them, so I'm making a separate

758
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 8: post to answer some of the common questions plus give

759
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 8: some updates. The company she will be working for is

760
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 8: in Sunny Vale, California. Her estimated first year package is

761
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,640
Speaker 8: close to half a million US dollars. They are offering

762
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 8: to cover moving expenses for our family of four, and

763
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 8: once in California, we will have temporary housing for sixty days.

764
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,360
Speaker 8: She will also be given a thirty thousand sign on bonus.

765
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 8: Both of these, the relocation assistance and sign on bonus

766
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 8: is subject to her pretension clause. I think she has

767
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,240
Speaker 8: to work for the company for at least twenty four months,

768
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:49,880
Speaker 8: otherwise she has to repay them. Her base salary is

769
00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 8: going to be four hundred and ten thousand dollars, more

770
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 8: than twice her current wage. Immigration wise, the company will

771
00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,480
Speaker 8: sponsor her H one B visa and perm green card

772
00:34:58,560 --> 00:35:01,560
Speaker 8: sponsorship will be available a after twenty four months of employment.

773
00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 8: She will also have unlimited PTO and health insurance will

774
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,359
Speaker 8: be one hundred percent covered by her employer. Lastly, they

775
00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,560
Speaker 8: are offering her RSUs vested for four years and a

776
00:35:10,600 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 8: four oh one K package. Currently, we earned just over

777
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:16,400
Speaker 8: five hundred and twenty thousand euros per year as engineers.

778
00:35:16,719 --> 00:35:19,360
Speaker 8: I work remotely as a software engineer for a US

779
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:23,880
Speaker 8: based company, but that arrangement may be impacted if we

780
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,680
Speaker 8: relocate to the United States, since I likely won't be

781
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 8: permitted to work under an H four visa. We also

782
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,279
Speaker 8: fully own a six bedroom home in Dublin. Moving to

783
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:34,760
Speaker 8: California would mean going back to paying rent or taking

784
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:38,720
Speaker 8: on a mortgage again. We've also been to California several

785
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 8: times before, and my wife loves the fact that it's

786
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 8: home to many Filipinos. She says that she'd like for

787
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 8: our kids to grow up around other Filipino kids. She

788
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 8: did her PhD in Singapore for five years, and two

789
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 8: years after that we moved to Dublin. I think the

790
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:55,239
Speaker 8: idea of being around our own folks really makes the

791
00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,840
Speaker 8: idea of moving to California more enticing. Anyway, I brought

792
00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 8: up my concerns too our today and we've actually been

793
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 8: discussing them since this morning. She seems genuinely intent on

794
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 8: accepting the job. I asked her whether she's drawn to

795
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 8: it because it truly excites her, or if she's just

796
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 8: eager to escape her her current role. As others mentioned

797
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 8: in my previous post, what if we go through the

798
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:20,359
Speaker 8: stress of relocating to California only for her to end

799
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,239
Speaker 8: up hating the job too. I told her that if

800
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,920
Speaker 8: her me reason is just wanting to leave her current position,

801
00:36:26,120 --> 00:36:28,759
Speaker 8: she can just quit. In fact, I've been encouraging her

802
00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,200
Speaker 8: to quit her job ever since she told me how

803
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 8: burnout she was last year. I had even suggested that

804
00:36:33,920 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 8: we take a month off back in the Philippines to

805
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,560
Speaker 8: reset and help her recover before job hunting again. X.

806
00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:41,480
Speaker 8: She can take a year off from work for all

807
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:45,320
Speaker 8: I care. I don't mind it all. She's incredibly accomplished

808
00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:48,920
Speaker 8: with an impressive resume. I truly don't think she'd have

809
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:52,640
Speaker 8: much trouble finding something new and more fulfilling and is

810
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 8: not in the United States once she decides to work.

811
00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:57,760
Speaker 8: The only answer she could give me regarding my question

812
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 8: was in I don't know. We run the number and

813
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 8: she believes that it's doable even on a single income.

814
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 8: After reading all the commons on my previous post, I'm

815
00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:09,719
Speaker 8: convinced that even with a four hundred thousand dollars annual salary,

816
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 8: we will not be able to maintain the same lifestyle

817
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:15,240
Speaker 8: as we have in Dublin. We travel often.

818
00:37:15,960 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 7: Yeah, well, I don't know, I mean likes common you

819
00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:22,040
Speaker 7: it's like it's.

820
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:22,640
Speaker 1: Gonna be different.

821
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 7: For sure, things are going to be I don't know, man,

822
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 7: Because it's like.

823
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 1: You're right in that area.

824
00:37:27,239 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 7: You can go like kind of up to the mountains,

825
00:37:29,120 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 7: you can go to Utah, you can go there's stuff

826
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,399
Speaker 7: around you that's like you don't have to travel too

827
00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 7: far to get there, and it's really cool.

828
00:37:35,600 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 8: I guess it's a reframing of like you might not

829
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:41,600
Speaker 8: be able to travel abroad as much because that is

830
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:42,520
Speaker 8: pretty expensive.

831
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 7: It's kind kind of why people come to California is

832
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:46,120
Speaker 7: you can almost do everything here.

833
00:37:46,239 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 8: Yeah, but like there's so much traveling within the United States,

834
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 8: which is why I mean, like I was, you know,

835
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 8: I feel like a lot of people think that Americans

836
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 8: don't travel, like are not well traveled. But I think

837
00:37:56,880 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 8: they're very well traveled, just in our giant country in America.

838
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, which is huge.

839
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was sorry. No, Okay, we don't have to

840
00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:12,120
Speaker 1: export traveling. We do it. We import it to ourselves. Sure,

841
00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:14,520
Speaker 1: I understand. I get what you're saying. Business.

842
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:16,840
Speaker 8: We travel often, and our eldest does a lot of

843
00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:19,720
Speaker 8: activities over the years, such as sports and musical lessons.

844
00:38:19,840 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 8: We're also planning to send her to a private school.

845
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:24,279
Speaker 8: I'm scared that if we try to continue living the

846
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 8: same way as we did in Ireland, we'd run through

847
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 8: our savings fast if we go through this route.

848
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 1: Don't move here.

849
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 7: You your life in Ireland sounds pretty solid, Okay. I mean,

850
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,319
Speaker 7: I don't know, but if your wife is up still

851
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:39,920
Speaker 7: look for that new job, maybe they I don't know.

852
00:38:41,080 --> 00:38:43,880
Speaker 9: Hot take I say, take it two to three years

853
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:46,359
Speaker 9: of your life being a little different. If you want that,

854
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 9: if you like being different, if you like new things,

855
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,560
Speaker 9: try it. If not, stay I But the.

856
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 8: Thing is that with the trying thing, I think it's

857
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,319
Speaker 8: a little bit easier to try and move your entire

858
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,839
Speaker 8: life when you don't have kids. But if they go

859
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,719
Speaker 8: to California and realize that this is not you know,

860
00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 8: working out, and then come back, that's pretty you know,

861
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:07,400
Speaker 8: it's very hard for the kids because they have to

862
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:09,080
Speaker 8: stay for if they go, they have to stay for

863
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:09,520
Speaker 8: two years.

864
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:11,560
Speaker 7: Yeah, for that so they don't have to pay back, Yeah,

865
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,920
Speaker 7: all of that money, like five hundred thousand dollars.

866
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 8: Yeah, and private school at California expensive. You're looking at

867
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 8: like anywhere between twenty to thirty thousand dollars, and depending

868
00:39:21,120 --> 00:39:22,600
Speaker 8: on how good you want, could be more.

869
00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 6: It's expensive.

870
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:29,880
Speaker 8: So like, really really look at how much that all

871
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 8: would caught before you make that decision. But there's a

872
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 8: little bit left. Thankfully, after showing her the news and

873
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:37,560
Speaker 8: what's been going on in the US right now, plus

874
00:39:37,600 --> 00:39:39,880
Speaker 8: the school pupews, she agreed that it might not be

875
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,720
Speaker 8: a good idea to go as a family, but now

876
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 8: she's insisting on going alone and flying back to Ireland

877
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 8: on holidays or vacations to see us or we fly

878
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 8: to her. Honestly, I'm really upset that she would even

879
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 8: suggest this, especially when our eldest is just about to

880
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:56,160
Speaker 8: start school. She'd be missing out on so much as

881
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,839
Speaker 8: a parent. I asked her what will be the long

882
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 8: term plan for us if she decides to go to

883
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 8: that path, because we can't realistically sustain a long distance

884
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,600
Speaker 8: set up forever. I guess that struck a nerve. She

885
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 8: snapped and told me that if I don't want her

886
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 8: to take the job, I should just stas stout instead

887
00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:12,839
Speaker 8: of pretending to support her while constantly trying to talk

888
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,160
Speaker 8: her out of it. I'm honestly so tired and upset.

889
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,759
Speaker 8: I really am trying to keep a levelhead and meet

890
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 8: her halfway that I need her to do the same

891
00:40:20,120 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 8: for me. She's usually very rational about things, so this

892
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:26,320
Speaker 8: concurrent outburst plus the sudden urge to move to California

893
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:29,200
Speaker 8: confuses me so much. We're at a stalemate right now,

894
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:31,480
Speaker 8: but I fear that she continues to insist on going

895
00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:34,640
Speaker 8: to California on her own, I'd eventually just fold and

896
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 8: agree to move there as a family. I love my

897
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,839
Speaker 8: wife and my daughters, and I really don't want them

898
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,960
Speaker 8: to be apart from each other. She is up until

899
00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:44,120
Speaker 8: the end of the month to decide, so I'm hoping

900
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:45,719
Speaker 8: she has a change of heart by then.

901
00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 7: That is wow, my wife is lying about her age

902
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 7: because she's afraid of losing me win. My wife's thirty

903
00:40:54,040 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 7: three female family was visiting earlier. We were talking about

904
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 7: how long we would wait until we have our next child. I,

905
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:02,959
Speaker 7: twenty eight, mal asked my mother in law how long

906
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:06,320
Speaker 7: she waited between having children, and she said four years.

907
00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:09,960
Speaker 7: My wife corrected her and said, no, six years, which

908
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 7: I could see. My mother in law reacted oddly to

909
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 7: reason being my brother in law is thirty seven, and

910
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:18,640
Speaker 7: so if he's four years older than my wife, that

911
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 7: would make her thirty three. After seeing this exchange, my

912
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,799
Speaker 7: heart sank because I knew in my gut that my

913
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 7: wife had been lying to me about her age. This

914
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 7: is because this event marked the third time in two

915
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 7: months that I had encountered information that suggested my wife

916
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 7: has been misrepresenting her A. First time was in the

917
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,240
Speaker 7: hospital when my wife was going into labor two months ago.

918
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: On the display of the medical device.

919
00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,239
Speaker 7: It listed her birth year is nineteen ninety and I

920
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 7: pointed out to the nurse that the date was incorrect.

921
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 7: They said they would need proof in order to change

922
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:49,319
Speaker 7: that date, so my wife showed them her old ID

923
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:51,959
Speaker 7: with her maiden name, and the nursing staff was able

924
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,960
Speaker 7: to make the change. I thought it was weird that

925
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 7: the system would have the wrong date, but my wife

926
00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,839
Speaker 7: said her old ID had a clerical aid error and

927
00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,640
Speaker 7: that was the one that she had registered with the hospital.

928
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:07,399
Speaker 7: As I understand it, these errors are rare and can

929
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,759
Speaker 7: only be corrected by showing two copies of your identification,

930
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:14,160
Speaker 7: in this case, passport and birth certificate. For some reason,

931
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 7: this stuck with me in my head and I started

932
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:19,600
Speaker 7: questioning myself on the subject, But ultimately I decided to

933
00:42:19,640 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 7: believe my wife. After all, I'd seen her ID before

934
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 7: and it had said nineteen ninety two, and we filed

935
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,840
Speaker 7: for our marriage license with that date without issue. The

936
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 7: second time was about a month ago, when my mother

937
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 7: in law was visiting and talking about when my wife

938
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:35,879
Speaker 7: was a baby. Since I was already having questions about

939
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:39,040
Speaker 7: my wife's birthday, I asked her and what year was this?

940
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:42,000
Speaker 7: To which she replied nineteen ninety. I asked her if

941
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 7: she meant nineteen ninety two, and she said.

942
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, m.

943
00:42:46,440 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 7: At this point I was on high alert that something

944
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:52,880
Speaker 7: was up, and I mentioned to my wife after the

945
00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 7: family had left, that it was silly of her mom

946
00:42:55,040 --> 00:42:57,840
Speaker 7: to forget what year she was born. My wife responded

947
00:42:57,880 --> 00:42:59,920
Speaker 7: that she didn't know what I was talking about that,

948
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:01,920
Speaker 7: but she didn't think her mom would have said that.

949
00:43:02,120 --> 00:43:04,480
Speaker 7: I told her that I definitely heard her mom say that,

950
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 7: but she told me that I must have misheard her

951
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:10,360
Speaker 7: or her mom made a mistake. At this point, I

952
00:43:10,400 --> 00:43:13,279
Speaker 7: went through my wife's closest friend's Instagram profiles and saw

953
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:15,400
Speaker 7: that the majority of them were in their mid thirties,

954
00:43:15,840 --> 00:43:18,640
Speaker 7: not early thirties. Being overwhelmed by what I was seeing,

955
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 7: I convinced myself that I was probably overthinking this whole situation,

956
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,680
Speaker 7: and that the clerical error her mom forgetting her birth

957
00:43:24,719 --> 00:43:26,759
Speaker 7: year and her being the youngest of all of her

958
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:30,360
Speaker 7: friends by a bit were unlikely coincidences, but not impossible.

959
00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:33,400
Speaker 7: I stopped short of going through my wife's belongings, as

960
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,719
Speaker 7: that would be a massive invasion of privacy and she

961
00:43:35,760 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 7: would certainly be aware as she is on a maternity

962
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,800
Speaker 7: leave at home. That leads us back to the present

963
00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,640
Speaker 7: and the family discussion about her brother's age gap. Of course,

964
00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 7: I brought this up with the thought of entertaining my suspicions,

965
00:43:47,560 --> 00:43:49,640
Speaker 7: but seeing my mother in law's reaction to my wife's

966
00:43:49,640 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 7: correction told me everything I needed to know. This was

967
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 7: the third insinuation that my wife was born in nineteen

968
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,720
Speaker 7: ninety and at this point I couldn't deny it any longer.

969
00:43:57,840 --> 00:43:59,959
Speaker 7: I excused myself for a bathroom break, and her family

970
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 7: left shortly after I returned downstairs. We cleaned a bit

971
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:06,000
Speaker 7: and got maybe changed, and when my wife sat down,

972
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:08,520
Speaker 7: I said that something was bothering me and we needed

973
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 7: to talk. I explained to her that three times over

974
00:44:11,480 --> 00:44:14,279
Speaker 7: the last couple months there's been insinuations that she is

975
00:44:14,400 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 7: thirty three years old.

976
00:44:15,640 --> 00:44:17,799
Speaker 1: She responded that it's because she is.

977
00:44:18,280 --> 00:44:21,840
Speaker 7: After some silence, I asked my wife to explain herself,

978
00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 7: and she said that this all traces back to when

979
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,640
Speaker 7: she got her driver's license in twenty eighteen. A clerical

980
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:31,120
Speaker 7: error indeed had been made, but one that printed her

981
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 7: birth year is nineteen ninety two instead of the one

982
00:44:33,600 --> 00:44:36,320
Speaker 7: on her birth certificate, which is nineteen ninety. As a result,

983
00:44:36,320 --> 00:44:39,920
Speaker 7: she started getting jobs with that identification, and for reasons

984
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,839
Speaker 7: that remain unclear, decided to use that age on her

985
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:45,759
Speaker 7: dating profile before we met. At the time, I was

986
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,279
Speaker 7: twenty three and was only looking for matches between the

987
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,720
Speaker 7: ages of twenty and twenty six, so I distinctly remember

988
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:54,839
Speaker 7: her profile having that age setting, something which she still

989
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 7: denies intentionally doing. On our first date, I even remember

990
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,240
Speaker 7: looking at her license since we got cocktails at dinner,

991
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 7: and sure enough her birth you're indicated that she was

992
00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:03,879
Speaker 7: twenty six.

993
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:05,359
Speaker 1: Okay, so she's twenty four.

994
00:45:05,560 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 7: I asked her why she would lie about her real age,

995
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:10,240
Speaker 7: and she said that she never knew our relationship would

996
00:45:10,239 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 7: get this serious.

997
00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:13,800
Speaker 1: The longer time went on, the bigger this lie became.

998
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 7: She said that she's wanted to come clean about it

999
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 7: for a long time, but she was afraid early on

1000
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:20,759
Speaker 7: in our relationship that I would have left her if

1001
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:23,680
Speaker 7: I knew she was five years older than me, five

1002
00:45:23,760 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 7: years my senior.

1003
00:45:24,920 --> 00:45:28,200
Speaker 2: To be fair, she may be right, really, because Opie

1004
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 2: said at the time.

1005
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 1: Folks, can we I'm just gonna put you all on

1006
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:33,719
Speaker 1: game real quick, go ahead.

1007
00:45:34,200 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 7: Numbers matter in a legal sense and a you know,

1008
00:45:38,680 --> 00:45:39,879
Speaker 7: there is a point where it's like.

1009
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,399
Speaker 1: What are we doing? But closer? You were closer when

1010
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:44,239
Speaker 1: things when things just make sense.

1011
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 7: If someone's thirty five and you're thirty, but you're like, oh,

1012
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:49,160
Speaker 7: five years older than me, if does it feel like

1013
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,400
Speaker 7: it makes sense? Does it feel right in your chest?

1014
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:55,120
Speaker 7: It doesn't matter if it's twenty five years then it's like, okay,

1015
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:57,080
Speaker 7: I got to think about like end of life care.

1016
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:59,080
Speaker 7: It's like, what is our You know, Dan, you're thinking,

1017
00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 7: all right, if you're twenty five years older than me,

1018
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:04,640
Speaker 7: when you become old old, I'm gonna have to take

1019
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,359
Speaker 7: care of you. Like what is this gonna look like?

1020
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 10: Like?

1021
00:46:06,760 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 7: Sure, yeah, five years thirty to thirty five and you

1022
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:13,200
Speaker 7: bleas zero difference. She even tried feeling me out at

1023
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,839
Speaker 7: that time, asking questions like what would you do if

1024
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,760
Speaker 7: I were older than I am? I had answered basically

1025
00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 7: that we probably wouldn't be dating in that case for

1026
00:46:21,280 --> 00:46:22,120
Speaker 7: fear of losing me.

1027
00:46:22,239 --> 00:46:24,880
Speaker 1: She let this lie fester, and she said that this.

1028
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:26,720
Speaker 7: Lie was in the back of her head during every

1029
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:29,080
Speaker 7: major milestone we shared together. When I asked her to

1030
00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:31,040
Speaker 7: be my girlfriend, when I asked her to move in

1031
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:33,319
Speaker 7: with me, when I asked her to marry me, when

1032
00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 7: we got pregnant with our baby, when we got married,

1033
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:35,799
Speaker 7: when we.

1034
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: Welcomed our baby into the world.

1035
00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 7: Unknown to me, my wife had an inner conflict that

1036
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,000
Speaker 7: our relationship had been built on a lie, and each

1037
00:46:42,040 --> 00:46:45,279
Speaker 7: time one of those milestones passed, she chose to kept up,

1038
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 7: to keep up the act instead of coming clean. She

1039
00:46:47,760 --> 00:46:50,600
Speaker 7: says now that she feels much better for having finally

1040
00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:52,879
Speaker 7: come clean, But now we're so far down the road.

1041
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do.

1042
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,400
Speaker 7: I don't quite know how I would have reacted in

1043
00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:59,400
Speaker 7: the past to this discovery, and that was before we

1044
00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 7: got married, I had a kid together. She is my

1045
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:04,920
Speaker 7: love and my best friend, but I can't shake the

1046
00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,120
Speaker 7: feeling that our relationship was.

1047
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:06,880
Speaker 1: Built on a lie.

1048
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,640
Speaker 7: I'm also wondering what else my wife is capable of

1049
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,319
Speaker 7: lying about, if she could keep something as foundational as

1050
00:47:12,320 --> 00:47:15,160
Speaker 7: how old she is a secret for so long. In fact,

1051
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,680
Speaker 7: all of her new documentation, like a license in passport,

1052
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 7: has her correct birth year on it now since she

1053
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:21,960
Speaker 7: changed her name, so it was only a matter of

1054
00:47:22,040 --> 00:47:24,239
Speaker 7: time before I found out. My wife said that she

1055
00:47:24,280 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 7: recognized this and was getting ready to write me a

1056
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 7: letter on the subject. She even showed me her draft

1057
00:47:29,640 --> 00:47:31,919
Speaker 7: of this letter in her phone, dated back a month

1058
00:47:31,920 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 7: ago after the second event I mentioned earlier. Apparently her

1059
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:36,799
Speaker 7: mom had mentioned to her at the time that she

1060
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 7: needed to get that date corrected, and today reinforced the

1061
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,680
Speaker 7: point that she needed to say something to me.

1062
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:42,799
Speaker 1: After the third event.

1063
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 7: Mother in law encouraged her to be positive about the

1064
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 7: situation and that she's still the same person regardless of

1065
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:50,680
Speaker 7: her age. Mother in law is right about this part.

1066
00:47:50,719 --> 00:47:52,520
Speaker 7: I do love my wife as a partner and a mother.

1067
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:55,000
Speaker 7: But I'm struggling with the notion that we would have

1068
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:57,280
Speaker 7: never met if my wife didn't lie about her age,

1069
00:47:57,560 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 7: and probably would not have continued our relationship had found

1070
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:00,840
Speaker 7: out earlier.

1071
00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:03,600
Speaker 1: Now we have a great family life.

1072
00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:05,879
Speaker 7: When it all started and was perpetuated by a lie,

1073
00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:10,480
Speaker 7: Shelby Cobra, you're literally living in a perfect relationship and

1074
00:48:10,560 --> 00:48:12,839
Speaker 7: marriage from the sounds of it, until you're like.

1075
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:17,160
Speaker 1: Oh, my wife's two years older, and she was gonna

1076
00:48:17,200 --> 00:48:18,840
Speaker 1: tell you. She wasn't gonna keep hiding it, that's the

1077
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,800
Speaker 1: other thing. But she was going to tell you. But

1078
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:23,760
Speaker 1: if she's willing to lie to the government, she's willing

1079
00:48:23,760 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: to lie to you. I always lie to the government.

1080
00:48:26,160 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 1: I can't trust you anymore. Government's not your friend. You

1081
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:30,560
Speaker 1: don't know that.

1082
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 7: Entertainment that wasn't legal advice. Don't lie to the irs.

1083
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 7: Now we have a great family life, but it all

1084
00:48:41,239 --> 00:48:44,319
Speaker 7: started and was perpetuated by a lie. I have no

1085
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:46,480
Speaker 7: idea how we're going to talk about this with my

1086
00:48:46,640 --> 00:48:49,520
Speaker 7: family or our friends, as this could seriously impact how

1087
00:48:49,560 --> 00:48:52,040
Speaker 7: they see her. My wife and I both grew up

1088
00:48:52,080 --> 00:48:54,800
Speaker 7: in broken homes, and neither of us want to impose

1089
00:48:54,840 --> 00:48:57,239
Speaker 7: that on our children. Part of the reason why my

1090
00:48:57,320 --> 00:48:59,440
Speaker 7: wife claims she didn't tell me the truth is she

1091
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:01,719
Speaker 7: was convinced that I would walk out on her and

1092
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:03,880
Speaker 7: get a divorce, which is true based on everything you

1093
00:49:03,920 --> 00:49:07,160
Speaker 7: said to her. I haven't done that and am instead

1094
00:49:07,200 --> 00:49:10,400
Speaker 7: looking for recommendations on how to navigate this situation. How

1095
00:49:10,400 --> 00:49:12,840
Speaker 7: would you recommend we broach this topic with our friends

1096
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:13,280
Speaker 7: and family?

1097
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:14,200
Speaker 1: Be funny?

1098
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 7: How can I rebuild my trust in my wife? How

1099
00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:18,840
Speaker 7: can I handle my feelings of betrayal?

1100
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:21,600
Speaker 1: Therapy? There's a final update here, John. I want to

1101
00:49:21,640 --> 00:49:23,200
Speaker 1: know should they stay or should they go?

1102
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:27,719
Speaker 2: I think I basically, I think we've we've wiggled our

1103
00:49:27,719 --> 00:49:31,560
Speaker 2: way down to the same area, which is like, I think,

1104
00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:34,279
Speaker 2: you know, it is a lie. She did she she

1105
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,200
Speaker 2: wrote the letter, but also when he asked her, she

1106
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:40,560
Speaker 2: didn't admit. However, I think this is probably solvable with

1107
00:49:40,920 --> 00:49:43,920
Speaker 2: therapy and working through it and rebuilding that trust and

1108
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 2: getting also even more of an understanding, like we know

1109
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:48,480
Speaker 2: kind of the surface level of why she did it,

1110
00:49:48,520 --> 00:49:50,480
Speaker 2: but I think it would be nice to like dive

1111
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:53,320
Speaker 2: deep with her on that, and I think the trust

1112
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:56,120
Speaker 2: is rebuildable. And it seems from all that we know

1113
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:58,920
Speaker 2: that they have a great relationship in great life, and

1114
00:49:58,960 --> 00:50:02,880
Speaker 2: they should, at embarrassed of minimums try they should try

1115
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:06,480
Speaker 2: to try and build a relationship to keep going.

1116
00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 7: Maybe, uh, you know, maybe I'm just a funny guy.

1117
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:11,600
Speaker 7: Maybe I'm just a funny, unbothered guy.

1118
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:12,200
Speaker 1: Huh.

1119
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:15,560
Speaker 9: My take is, don't lie by your age and being

1120
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:17,520
Speaker 9: expired milk. You're better than that.

1121
00:50:17,840 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 7: I just think what a different lie would be way

1122
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,560
Speaker 7: more concerning. But this is like, first of all, it

1123
00:50:24,600 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 7: did come from a clerical error, which is like great,

1124
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:28,520
Speaker 7: It's like you're being handed the lottery. Oh my god,

1125
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:30,920
Speaker 7: the government just gave me two free years off of

1126
00:50:30,960 --> 00:50:33,080
Speaker 7: my life. I get to be two years younger according

1127
00:50:33,080 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 7: to the government, it.

1128
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:34,799
Speaker 2: Still shouldn't lie about it.

1129
00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 10: I'm gonna lean in that. You know, it's again just

1130
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 10: because people do lie about it. I don't think it's

1131
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:44,120
Speaker 10: good that people do. But I think I think their relationship,

1132
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:45,440
Speaker 10: their context.

1133
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:47,160
Speaker 2: I think it's okay. I think they can work through it.

1134
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:48,680
Speaker 1: I should say, yeah, it's not like it was.

1135
00:50:48,760 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 7: And again, it's not like it's like I'm gonna lie

1136
00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:52,799
Speaker 7: so that I can take something from him. It's like, well,

1137
00:50:52,840 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 7: I'm gonna perpetuate this lie so we can continue to

1138
00:50:55,120 --> 00:50:58,080
Speaker 7: have this beautiful relationship in this wonderful family, and he

1139
00:50:58,120 --> 00:51:01,880
Speaker 7: won't just arbitrarily divorce me because I'm like an old

1140
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 7: Dusty Sack.

1141
00:51:03,280 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 1: Here's the update. Here we go.

1142
00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:07,160
Speaker 7: I want to thank you all for the feedback, good

1143
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:09,920
Speaker 7: or bad. One thing I want to emphasize is that

1144
00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 7: I don't care that my wife is five years older

1145
00:51:12,080 --> 00:51:12,279
Speaker 7: than me.

1146
00:51:12,560 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 1: Okay, sure there was a.

1147
00:51:14,360 --> 00:51:15,960
Speaker 7: Time where this would have been an issue for me,

1148
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 7: but we're well past that. The issue for me is

1149
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:21,720
Speaker 7: and has been, the continued lies and actions to support

1150
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 7: a mistake that was made a long time ago. I

1151
00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:26,239
Speaker 7: also spoke to my wife again today, after gathering my

1152
00:51:26,280 --> 00:51:28,880
Speaker 7: thoughts and considering the advice that's been shared here, I

1153
00:51:28,920 --> 00:51:30,680
Speaker 7: told her that I love her, that I have no

1154
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 7: interest in divorcing, and that I want to be a

1155
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:35,000
Speaker 7: husband to her and a father to our child. But

1156
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:37,799
Speaker 7: I also expressed again how hurt I was by her

1157
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:39,759
Speaker 7: lying to me, and that we were going to have

1158
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 7: to work together to reach a point where I can

1159
00:51:41,560 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 7: trust her.

1160
00:51:42,280 --> 00:51:43,000
Speaker 1: This will take.

1161
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,440
Speaker 7: Time, but I'm sure we can do it barring any setbacks.

1162
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:47,880
Speaker 7: I'm so annoyed, but I'm just gonna keep going. We

1163
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:50,480
Speaker 7: agreed to meet with a counselor weekly until we feel

1164
00:51:50,520 --> 00:51:53,840
Speaker 7: comfortable in our working this week to resolve our documents

1165
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:56,120
Speaker 7: that have her errant date of birth. We also have

1166
00:51:56,239 --> 00:51:58,560
Speaker 7: no plans on discussing this matter with friends or family

1167
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:01,440
Speaker 7: unless there is reason to The one thing we won't

1168
00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:02,960
Speaker 7: do is be deceitful.

1169
00:52:03,320 --> 00:52:05,240
Speaker 2: John Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story,

1170
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:06,719
Speaker 2: but a quick three minute of break of ads from

1171
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 2: our sponsors. I tried to enforce boundaries of my in

1172
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:13,319
Speaker 2: laws and it turned into a legal issue ten ninety nine.

1173
00:52:13,360 --> 00:52:15,600
Speaker 1: These guys are trying to set boundary with me. Can

1174
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:17,359
Speaker 1: we get someone over here right? Away, arrest him.

1175
00:52:17,400 --> 00:52:19,960
Speaker 2: Now, I'm going to have my first baby in a

1176
00:52:19,960 --> 00:52:22,520
Speaker 2: few months. Congrats. And mother in law has a history

1177
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:25,440
Speaker 2: of being crappy towards me and all my hubby's previous

1178
00:52:25,480 --> 00:52:30,200
Speaker 2: relationships and also his brother's past girlfriends. She gets jealous.

1179
00:52:30,280 --> 00:52:32,600
Speaker 2: I want to set clear boundaries before the baby comes

1180
00:52:32,640 --> 00:52:34,799
Speaker 2: with her. By the way, this comes from Big Branch

1181
00:52:34,880 --> 00:52:36,439
Speaker 2: eighty five twenty one, and if you want to submit

1182
00:52:36,440 --> 00:52:38,360
Speaker 2: your own stories, go to the alar slash Okay Storytime

1183
00:52:38,440 --> 00:52:41,279
Speaker 2: celebread it So first, a bit of background for our relationship.

1184
00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 2: Before we were married, my mother in law would try

1185
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 2: to tell him to break up with me because she

1186
00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:49,040
Speaker 2: has gray hairs in her twenties, so clearly there's something

1187
00:52:49,080 --> 00:52:51,640
Speaker 2: wrong with her health and she's unfitted bare children. The

1188
00:52:51,719 --> 00:52:55,760
Speaker 2: answer is no, it's genetic. My dad's side went gray early. Also,

1189
00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:59,680
Speaker 2: she has yellowing to her teeth. She's clearly unhealthy and

1190
00:52:59,719 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 2: unfit to bear children.

1191
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 1: Answer No.

1192
00:53:02,320 --> 00:53:04,520
Speaker 2: I had to take an iron supplement as a kid,

1193
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:07,480
Speaker 2: but couldn't swallow pills, so it was liquid and discolored

1194
00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,839
Speaker 2: my teeth a bit. I don't think it's that bad

1195
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:12,440
Speaker 2: and haven't really gone for whitening advice, but my dentist

1196
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,840
Speaker 2: once mentioned it, she wouldn't suggest it. In my personal case,

1197
00:53:16,640 --> 00:53:18,759
Speaker 2: my mom, who happens to be my best friend and

1198
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:22,040
Speaker 2: I adore, has been battling and every time my mother

1199
00:53:22,040 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 2: in law sees me, she starts off the convo with

1200
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:28,280
Speaker 2: telling me about someone she knows recently that passed away.

1201
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 1: Of hey, shut up, shut up, hey.

1202
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,480
Speaker 2: She's always trying to push my buttons and get under

1203
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:36,960
Speaker 2: my skin. She went to my workplace to see my

1204
00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:40,600
Speaker 2: colleague and introduced her herself to her admin, who wasn't

1205
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:43,360
Speaker 2: aware of our relationship as my mother in law. My

1206
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:45,880
Speaker 2: admin told her that everyone at work loves me and

1207
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:48,320
Speaker 2: that I'm so awesome, et cetera, et cetera, as they should.

1208
00:53:48,800 --> 00:53:51,799
Speaker 2: Instead of having a normal response like we love her too,

1209
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:54,680
Speaker 2: my mother in law went, we're actually here to see

1210
00:53:54,680 --> 00:53:55,400
Speaker 2: someone else.

1211
00:53:55,320 --> 00:53:57,839
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, we love that for you, all.

1212
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:01,640
Speaker 2: Right, which my admin told told me about because that's

1213
00:54:01,719 --> 00:54:04,600
Speaker 2: so weird. When we were getting married and wanted just

1214
00:54:04,640 --> 00:54:07,720
Speaker 2: a small wedding, said no to mother in law inviting

1215
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:11,040
Speaker 2: her second cousin multiple times, but she went ahead and

1216
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:15,840
Speaker 2: printed out our evite and handed it to said second

1217
00:54:15,880 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 2: cousin who we barely know, and who didn't even talk

1218
00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,760
Speaker 2: to us at the wedding and just ate the food.

1219
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:22,800
Speaker 7: Ah.

1220
00:54:22,840 --> 00:54:26,680
Speaker 2: Anyways, Hubby has had conversations with her, but she always

1221
00:54:26,719 --> 00:54:29,320
Speaker 2: thinks she's right and everyone else is wrong, So Hubby

1222
00:54:29,360 --> 00:54:32,080
Speaker 2: has given up on trying to reason with her, but

1223
00:54:32,239 --> 00:54:35,000
Speaker 2: also still wants both his parents and his life because

1224
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,640
Speaker 2: they come as a package deal. And his dad is

1225
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 2: decent except for the part where the mom is the

1226
00:54:40,680 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 2: boss of the family, except for the part where he

1227
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:49,480
Speaker 2: lets the mom step all over you and doesn't defend

1228
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:51,800
Speaker 2: you like a like a good human should.

1229
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 1: The dad is decent except for when he's not decent,

1230
00:54:54,760 --> 00:54:56,600
Speaker 1: which is all the time. Yeah.

1231
00:54:56,719 --> 00:54:59,680
Speaker 2: Now, fast forward to me being pregnant. She gropes my

1232
00:54:59,719 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 2: bell and talks to my belly rather than me as

1233
00:55:02,239 --> 00:55:05,600
Speaker 2: a person when she first sees me, while not letting

1234
00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:08,800
Speaker 2: me be a part of the conversation with adults.

1235
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:12,239
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm literally slapping the hand away next time, No,

1236
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:13,080
Speaker 7: don't touch me.

1237
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,400
Speaker 2: That'd be great to not touch me. Last time was

1238
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:18,359
Speaker 2: meeting with a new neighbor. The vibe is very you're

1239
00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:21,520
Speaker 2: just an incubator for my baby. Three D printer yep.

1240
00:55:21,719 --> 00:55:25,160
Speaker 2: Despite her having been pregnant four times and her daughters,

1241
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 2: each having been pregnant three times. So I'd like to

1242
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 2: set clear boundaries. That was all the that was the background.

1243
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 2: That was just the context. Ladies and gentlemen. We are

1244
00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:39,759
Speaker 2: barely a third of the way through this story. Ooh ooh,

1245
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:44,759
Speaker 2: so my idea. I'm in a WhatsApp chat with my

1246
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:48,520
Speaker 2: hubbies immediate family, so I'm thinking of just having witnesses

1247
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:52,000
Speaker 2: to my boundaries and saying as follows. Hi, everyone, our

1248
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,760
Speaker 2: first baby is coming very shortly. But we just wanted

1249
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:57,479
Speaker 2: to communicate some needs to you all. From what we've

1250
00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,080
Speaker 2: seen with friends, postpartum can be very challenging and we

1251
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 2: would appreciate it if you respect some rules to make

1252
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:05,520
Speaker 2: this work well. Please don't surprise visits. I might need

1253
00:56:05,560 --> 00:56:07,960
Speaker 2: some time and space. Please respect that. We will let

1254
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:11,040
Speaker 2: you know when we're ready. Please take no photos without

1255
00:56:11,040 --> 00:56:15,440
Speaker 2: explicit consent. When I need to front air bag feed,

1256
00:56:15,960 --> 00:56:19,560
Speaker 2: please give me distance. I don't want an audience. No

1257
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:23,200
Speaker 2: inappropriate comments towards or about any of us. Actions will

1258
00:56:23,239 --> 00:56:26,960
Speaker 2: have consequences. Okay, that way, there should be witnesses. Right,

1259
00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 2: what do you guys think of this? And we have

1260
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:32,880
Speaker 2: some comments, but you know what, Let's take a pitstop

1261
00:56:33,040 --> 00:56:36,120
Speaker 2: right here, Sofia and Dakota, what do we do with

1262
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:38,839
Speaker 2: mother in law? Starting with Sofia, what do you think?

1263
00:56:40,239 --> 00:56:44,320
Speaker 8: I think that you have your partner talk to their mother.

1264
00:56:45,760 --> 00:56:47,080
Speaker 6: It's not your thing.

1265
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:49,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, how can a three D printer win an argument

1266
00:56:49,960 --> 00:56:51,800
Speaker 1: with a human being? It can't.

1267
00:56:52,040 --> 00:56:54,480
Speaker 2: I concur with both of these statements. But we've got

1268
00:56:54,520 --> 00:56:57,719
Speaker 2: some relevant comments here, so common number one. First of all,

1269
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:01,320
Speaker 2: these are not boundaries. They are rules you are making

1270
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:03,600
Speaker 2: for other people, which is fine, it's your baby, but

1271
00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:07,280
Speaker 2: understand that this is what is happening. I find people

1272
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:09,760
Speaker 2: receive rules like this much better if they are framed

1273
00:57:09,800 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 2: as what to do rather than what's not allowed, and

1274
00:57:13,200 --> 00:57:16,640
Speaker 2: the actions have consequences is vague and threatening. Just state

1275
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:19,200
Speaker 2: what the actual boundary is. It's what you will do.

1276
00:57:19,280 --> 00:57:21,880
Speaker 2: If the rules are broken. We will only be welcoming

1277
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:23,880
Speaker 2: visitors when it is planned at least a couple of

1278
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 2: days in advance. Surprise drop ins will be ignored. Our

1279
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:30,040
Speaker 2: consent must be given for taking or sharing any photos,

1280
00:57:30,240 --> 00:57:33,800
Speaker 2: whether directly or on social media. Violating that consent means

1281
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:38,000
Speaker 2: a lengthy timeout from seeing the bub The babe, I

1282
00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:40,280
Speaker 2: am private about my front airbag feeding and will take

1283
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 2: space as needed. Any lack of respect from this will

1284
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:44,600
Speaker 2: end a visit. We need support and positivity and what

1285
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:48,080
Speaker 2: will be an exhausting and exciting time. Unsolicited advice, criticism,

1286
00:57:48,120 --> 00:57:51,160
Speaker 2: or comparisons will end the visit. The way you ensure

1287
00:57:51,200 --> 00:57:54,680
Speaker 2: your rules are respected is to follow through calmly and consistently.

1288
00:57:55,080 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 2: Don't state a consequence you are not willing to enact

1289
00:57:57,520 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 2: because it falls apart. Then there is an update.

1290
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:01,680
Speaker 1: Note.

1291
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,880
Speaker 2: I deleted my post yesterday last night because mother in

1292
00:58:04,920 --> 00:58:09,600
Speaker 2: law and daughter in law were intimidating. The evidence gathered

1293
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:14,120
Speaker 2: that it was illegal, and dear husband said to delete

1294
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:16,840
Speaker 2: the post on Reddit while we figure out our rights

1295
00:58:17,080 --> 00:58:20,240
Speaker 2: slash legalities in case they find the post to use

1296
00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 2: it against us.

1297
00:58:21,080 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 7: Guys, we're all going to jail. Oh my god, we're

1298
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:27,920
Speaker 7: all going to jail. Everything we've been doing has been

1299
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:31,160
Speaker 7: illegal as all times. You're not allowed to talk about

1300
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 7: other people.

1301
00:58:32,080 --> 00:58:34,960
Speaker 2: We should call this illegal the podcast because it is

1302
00:58:35,120 --> 00:58:36,560
Speaker 2: illegal and a podcast.

1303
00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:38,640
Speaker 7: Oh my god, don't go to Spotify, don't go to iHeart Radio,

1304
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:41,520
Speaker 7: don't delete all of your phone throw them in the ocean.

1305
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,040
Speaker 1: No, don't do that, because this is insane.

1306
00:58:44,920 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 7: These people literally think it's illegal to talk bad about them.

1307
00:58:48,640 --> 00:58:50,720
Speaker 1: What are you talking about?

1308
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:55,560
Speaker 2: Honestly, I'm praying that in this story they call the

1309
00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:58,600
Speaker 2: police and they say, Hey, you won't believe this. My

1310
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:02,440
Speaker 2: daughter in law wrote a Reddit story about me. Arrest

1311
00:59:02,520 --> 00:59:07,840
Speaker 2: her right now and have her laughed out of the station.

1312
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 2: That is what I want to happen. Please please give

1313
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:11,560
Speaker 2: it to me.

1314
00:59:12,080 --> 00:59:15,120
Speaker 1: Please give it to me right now.

1315
00:59:15,280 --> 00:59:19,320
Speaker 2: Wow sou from my search sense. Then there is a

1316
00:59:19,320 --> 00:59:22,040
Speaker 2: bit of a gray area around camera use where I live,

1317
00:59:22,320 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 2: but it seems largely that I am in my right

1318
00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:27,360
Speaker 2: to have emotion sensor security cameras in my home as

1319
00:59:27,360 --> 00:59:30,600
Speaker 2: long as there's no audio slash conversation is recorded, so

1320
00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:32,960
Speaker 2: and it's not in the bathroom, et cetera.

1321
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:35,520
Speaker 7: I don't think those So there's a rule where if

1322
00:59:35,560 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 7: you're a place of business, your security cameras can't record

1323
00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:41,160
Speaker 7: audio indoors, and it doesn't.

1324
00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:44,240
Speaker 1: Apply to your house. Dude, this is your house.

1325
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:45,640
Speaker 6: Do you live here?

1326
00:59:46,200 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 1: Uh? Like, what are we talking about? Not allowed? It's

1327
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:50,840
Speaker 1: all legal.

1328
00:59:51,960 --> 00:59:53,480
Speaker 2: But I went through all of the comments with my

1329
00:59:53,560 --> 00:59:55,840
Speaker 2: husband last night, and he went over to his parents'

1330
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:59,960
Speaker 2: house to list the behaviors with evidence and inform them

1331
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:05,240
Speaker 2: of their boundaries and group rules. Good good, Now an

1332
01:00:05,360 --> 01:00:08,680
Speaker 2: update on what happened last night. So I showed dear

1333
01:00:08,760 --> 01:00:11,440
Speaker 2: husband the comments on reddits, a lot of really helpful ones.

1334
01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:14,600
Speaker 2: Thank you guys, I appreciate you. Together, dear husband and

1335
01:00:14,640 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 2: I started writing a list of instances when her behavior

1336
01:00:17,680 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 2: and treatment of me had been awful in the past. Together,

1337
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:22,520
Speaker 2: we run out a list of boundaries slash rules in

1338
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,200
Speaker 2: his notes app and tried to make them very clear

1339
01:00:25,280 --> 01:00:29,320
Speaker 2: with time frames for reassessment if appropriate. Dear husband then

1340
01:00:29,400 --> 01:00:32,520
Speaker 2: drove over to his parents' house too calmly and coldly

1341
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:36,080
Speaker 2: make the statements to them slash her. He began with

1342
01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:39,560
Speaker 2: the recent bad behavior incident mother in law snooping through

1343
01:00:39,600 --> 01:00:43,800
Speaker 2: closet wardrobes, footage of her coming out of the bathroom

1344
01:00:43,840 --> 01:00:47,920
Speaker 2: with dear husband's toothbrush in her mouth. At first, she

1345
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:50,919
Speaker 2: lied and said that she did no such things. Then

1346
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:53,720
Speaker 2: dear husband mentioned that we saw her do it in

1347
01:00:53,800 --> 01:00:59,000
Speaker 2: the cameras. She absolutely exploded at him, yelling, dropping f bombs.

1348
01:00:59,240 --> 01:01:02,080
Speaker 2: Then tried to make excuses that she was looking for

1349
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 2: the sheets and our wardrobes and that she had actually

1350
01:01:05,120 --> 01:01:07,800
Speaker 2: brought her own toothbrush with her and it was hers

1351
01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:08,560
Speaker 2: that she used.

1352
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:11,200
Speaker 7: She of course she has matching toothbrushes with her son,

1353
01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:13,280
Speaker 7: but what good mother doesn't yep yep.

1354
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:13,600
Speaker 5: Yv yep.

1355
01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 2: Cameras aren't high resolution enough to capture a toothbrush in

1356
01:01:16,760 --> 01:01:19,240
Speaker 2: her pocket, and I obviously wouldn't put a camera in

1357
01:01:19,280 --> 01:01:22,400
Speaker 2: the bathroom, So I actually can't confirm or disprove whether

1358
01:01:22,440 --> 01:01:25,160
Speaker 2: it was in fact her own toothbrush in her pocket.

1359
01:01:25,640 --> 01:01:29,920
Speaker 2: She lied slash denied to begin with in the first place, though, anyways,

1360
01:01:30,160 --> 01:01:32,960
Speaker 2: that that doesn't excuse anything else on the long list

1361
01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:36,520
Speaker 2: of maltreatment of me. Father in law kind of backed

1362
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 2: her up. What you're new one is illegal?

1363
01:01:40,880 --> 01:01:45,600
Speaker 7: Like in what universe is recording in your own home illegal?

1364
01:01:45,720 --> 01:01:47,280
Speaker 1: This is insane, and.

1365
01:01:47,200 --> 01:01:50,240
Speaker 2: Then admitted that they recently went through this with their tenants.

1366
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:52,320
Speaker 2: Mother in law and father in law have tenants at

1367
01:01:52,320 --> 01:01:55,800
Speaker 2: their house that they own generational wealth must be nice.

1368
01:01:56,040 --> 01:01:59,760
Speaker 2: Apparently she was recently caught on tenants cameras snooping through

1369
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:02,480
Speaker 2: their personal belongings, closets and fridges.

1370
01:02:02,600 --> 01:02:04,720
Speaker 1: Why why, why do you do this?

1371
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:08,720
Speaker 2: Anyways, the whole thing took about fifteen minutes. A dear

1372
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:11,560
Speaker 2: husband was basically punted out of his parents' house. Without

1373
01:02:11,600 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 2: getting a chance to mention anything other than this recent incident.

1374
01:02:15,040 --> 01:02:18,480
Speaker 2: I was chased out by yelling at f bombs. His

1375
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:22,439
Speaker 2: parents said they're never coming over again or doing any

1376
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:25,840
Speaker 2: favors for dear husband, which I guess is still a win.

1377
01:02:26,280 --> 01:02:27,600
Speaker 1: It sounds like it.

1378
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 7: I haven't heard a single favor they've done for you

1379
01:02:30,160 --> 01:02:31,960
Speaker 7: all this whole time, don't you know?

1380
01:02:32,040 --> 01:02:38,760
Speaker 2: The favor of letting me ransack your clauses in your toiletries.

1381
01:02:38,800 --> 01:02:41,760
Speaker 7: The favor of accusing you of a crime and threatening

1382
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:42,800
Speaker 7: to send you to jail.

1383
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:44,520
Speaker 1: That's my favorite favor.

1384
01:02:45,160 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 2: That's my favorite one, Dakota. I love it when you

1385
01:02:47,800 --> 01:02:51,480
Speaker 2: accuse me of illegal things I never did, and then

1386
01:02:51,960 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 2: you know to throw me in jail.

1387
01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:54,240
Speaker 1: My favorite.

1388
01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:59,360
Speaker 7: Yes, Police, a pregnant woman recorded me in her own home.

1389
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:00,600
Speaker 7: Send her to thank you.

1390
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:04,240
Speaker 2: Please please let them call the cops. I hope. Mother

1391
01:03:04,280 --> 01:03:07,080
Speaker 2: in law texted me last night, is this how you

1392
01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:10,120
Speaker 2: treat family? Copy that message and send it right back

1393
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:13,800
Speaker 2: to her, Like, look in the mirror and ask yourself

1394
01:03:13,800 --> 01:03:17,400
Speaker 2: that obviously I'm not responding. Daughter in law text to

1395
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,680
Speaker 2: dear husband this morning, demanding that dear husband have all

1396
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:24,920
Speaker 2: the evidence deleted. Dear husband said, This was further proof

1397
01:03:24,920 --> 01:03:28,760
Speaker 2: she can't babysit. Ever, another good stance. This is not

1398
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 2: the kind of behavior our child deserves to be exposed

1399
01:03:31,280 --> 01:03:33,600
Speaker 2: to if we can help it. I'm waiting on a

1400
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:37,280
Speaker 2: text back from a lawyer friend read the legality of

1401
01:03:37,360 --> 01:03:40,800
Speaker 2: the cameras edit. Also in addition, at this point where

1402
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:43,360
Speaker 2: I'm at, I should be relieved that dear husband stood

1403
01:03:43,400 --> 01:03:45,600
Speaker 2: enough for me and for us as a family, and

1404
01:03:45,640 --> 01:03:48,360
Speaker 2: that he is on board with going low contact. But

1405
01:03:48,400 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 2: I'm bracing myself and scared with what mother in law

1406
01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:53,919
Speaker 2: might try to do next. Will she try to hurt

1407
01:03:53,920 --> 01:03:57,320
Speaker 2: me professionally at my work? Will she burn the place down?

1408
01:03:57,680 --> 01:04:00,280
Speaker 2: Someone so hateful and explosive. I don't know what she

1409
01:04:00,360 --> 01:04:02,360
Speaker 2: might do, and I'm still scared.

1410
01:04:02,520 --> 01:04:05,480
Speaker 7: That's a kind of ominous way to leave it. But uh,

1411
01:04:05,520 --> 01:04:09,120
Speaker 7: you know, honestly, sometimes, I mean.

1412
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:10,840
Speaker 1: People are capable of crazy stuff.

1413
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 7: But she sounds like someone who's just a mostly a

1414
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:16,800
Speaker 7: yapper and she's you know, she's a little no She

1415
01:04:16,800 --> 01:04:18,440
Speaker 7: does do that weird sly stuff.

1416
01:04:18,520 --> 01:04:21,240
Speaker 1: She's snooper. She's a snooper and a yapper.

1417
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:24,320
Speaker 7: Ooh, which maybe that is the combo that can create

1418
01:04:24,400 --> 01:04:25,600
Speaker 7: like a an arsonist.

1419
01:04:25,760 --> 01:04:27,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a scary thing because you don't know what's

1420
01:04:27,800 --> 01:04:30,880
Speaker 2: gonna happen. But your husband actually stood up for you

1421
01:04:30,960 --> 01:04:33,520
Speaker 2: and your family. Bingo huge, that's huge.

1422
01:04:33,600 --> 01:04:34,320
Speaker 1: Two.

1423
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:38,160
Speaker 2: Once again, we've i mentioned this in the last story.

1424
01:04:38,440 --> 01:04:42,439
Speaker 2: When you start to fully express like, hey, these things

1425
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:45,080
Speaker 2: are not just say the truth, like, oh, these things

1426
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:47,880
Speaker 2: are not okay to people who are doing such terrible

1427
01:04:47,880 --> 01:04:50,360
Speaker 2: things to you, and then they're like, oh, well, oh

1428
01:04:50,440 --> 01:04:51,880
Speaker 2: my gosh, you're the worst and oh my gosh, im

1429
01:04:51,880 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 2: we gonna go to all contact da da da. Well great,

1430
01:04:53,880 --> 01:04:56,960
Speaker 2: that is the cards are now falling as they are

1431
01:04:56,960 --> 01:04:59,920
Speaker 2: supposed to, because someone who is doing terrible things is

1432
01:05:00,040 --> 01:05:01,720
Speaker 2: actually being told to doing terrible things.

1433
01:05:01,960 --> 01:05:02,640
Speaker 1: And there you go.

1434
01:05:02,800 --> 01:05:05,800
Speaker 2: They will they will sort themselves in your life accordingly. Yeah,

1435
01:05:05,840 --> 01:05:08,440
Speaker 2: and you can go low contacts, like you said, protect

1436
01:05:08,440 --> 01:05:11,200
Speaker 2: your peace, protect your baby, protect your husband and your

1437
01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:13,320
Speaker 2: little family, and that is it.

1438
01:05:13,640 --> 01:05:16,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just cover uh, cover your cover your back,

1439
01:05:16,480 --> 01:05:17,120
Speaker 1: cover your back.