Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.
Speaker 1: Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.
Speaker 1: Today's tip is to reconsider what's normal. We all grow
Speaker 1: up with our stories and quirks, but we can decide
Speaker 1: as adults whether those stories are still serving us. If not,
Speaker 1: time to try something else. Families are often their own
Speaker 1: little cultures. We see what the people around us do
Speaker 1: and we absorb it, but we often don't really think
Speaker 1: through what's going on. I've seen this in my own
Speaker 1: life with, of all things, pickles. No one in my
Speaker 1: family growing up eight pickles, and so when a pickle
Speaker 1: spear came with a hamburger in a restaurant, it would
Speaker 1: just stay on the plate. So in my mind, pickles
Speaker 1: were these things that one just didn't eat, kind of
Speaker 1: like the toothpick that's sometimes holding the hamburger together. Now,
Speaker 1: I wasn't the most adventurous of eaters as a kid,
Speaker 1: so it is possible I wouldn't have liked pickles then,
Speaker 1: But as an adult, I eat most things. Eventually I
Speaker 1: got around to trying a pickle, and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is pretty tasty. I don't necessarily seek them out,
Speaker 1: but I wouldn't leave a juicy spear sitting on my
Speaker 1: plate either. Of course, pickles aren't all that important in
Speaker 1: the grand scheme of things, But sometimes the family lessons
Speaker 1: we grow up with are more consequential in terms of
Speaker 1: how we spend our time. For instance, when I was
Speaker 1: writing I Know How She Does It, which is a
Speaker 1: book about how professional women spend their time, I learned
Speaker 1: that a number of women learned from their own mothers
Speaker 1: that a responsible working mother should spend all Sunday afternoon
Speaker 1: cooking dinners for the upcoming week. Now never mind that
Speaker 1: other family members might also be capable of cooking, or
Speaker 1: that it takes more time to thaw a frozen lasagna
Speaker 1: on Wednesday than it does to cook a piece of
Speaker 1: salmon and open a bag stylead. People were completely convinced
Speaker 1: that they were saving themselves time. People have their stories
Speaker 1: with work, too, like, if you want to advance in
Speaker 1: your career, you should always be at your desk when
Speaker 1: your boss walks in. Maybe that's what your dad attributed
Speaker 1: his success to when you were growing up, and so
Speaker 1: that is what you believe. We don't consider that maybe
Speaker 1: the boss showed up early to get some quiet time
Speaker 1: at the office and it is actually miffed that her
Speaker 1: employees are there. In any case, different people grow up
Speaker 1: with different stories. We want to make sure that we
Speaker 1: don't just make assumptions if those assumptions aren't really serving
Speaker 1: our lives. A good way to identify stories that might
Speaker 1: be guiding our behaviors is to listen to our self talk.
Speaker 1: If someone asked you why you are doing what you
Speaker 1: are doing, how would you explain it? Listen to your answer.
Speaker 1: If you don't really have an answer, well that's interesting
Speaker 1: to know. Or if it contains words like well everyone
Speaker 1: knows that, or well you can't just do X, or
Speaker 1: well I've always just or anything along those lines, well,
Speaker 1: then we know we've got a narrative. And maybe the
Speaker 1: story really works for you. Maybe it is true, but
Speaker 1: maybe you are just automatically passing by a food at
Speaker 1: the grocery store because you never ate it growing up,
Speaker 1: and it might be good. Or maybe you've never considered
Speaker 1: trying an activity because you don't know anyone else who's
Speaker 1: done it. That doesn't mean it might not be a
Speaker 1: fun way to spend a weekend. I never went to
Speaker 1: amusement parks growing up, so it took me a long
Speaker 1: time to try my first roller coaster. I still don't
Speaker 1: leap at the daredevil ones, but some of the mild
Speaker 1: ones are pretty cool. Or maybe more consequentially, you are
Speaker 1: not getting the child care or household help you need
Speaker 1: to make life sustainable because in your mind, normal people
Speaker 1: don't do that well. The world has a lot of people.
Speaker 1: None of us are really all that normal when you
Speaker 1: think about it, So spend some time thinking about what
Speaker 1: you consider normal and whether it is in fact the
Speaker 1: way things need to be. If so, great, but you
Speaker 1: might try a roller coaster or a pickle, or maybe
Speaker 1: come into work at a time that works for you
Speaker 1: rather than following your bosses particular quirks. In the meantime,
Speaker 1: this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making
Speaker 1: the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to
Speaker 1: hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,
Speaker 1: or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook
Speaker 1: and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod that's b E the
Speaker 1: number four than breakfast p o D. You can also
Speaker 1: shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcast at iHeartMedia
Speaker 1: dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all
Speaker 1: the letters. Thanks so much. I look forward to staying
Speaker 1: in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio.
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