WEBVTT - Second Cup: Reconsider normal 

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of I Heart Radio.

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<v Speaker 1>Good Morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>Today's tip is to reconsider what's normal. We all grow

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<v Speaker 1>up with our stories and quirks, but we can decide

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<v Speaker 1>as adults whether those stories are still serving us. If not,

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<v Speaker 1>time to try something else. Families are often their own

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<v Speaker 1>little cultures. We see what the people around us do

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<v Speaker 1>and we absorb it, but we often don't really think

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<v Speaker 1>through what's going on. I've seen this in my own

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<v Speaker 1>life with, of all things, pickles. No one in my

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<v Speaker 1>family growing up eight pickles, and so when a pickle

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<v Speaker 1>spear came with a hamburger in a restaurant, it would

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<v Speaker 1>just stay on the plate. So in my mind, pickles

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<v Speaker 1>were these things that one just didn't eat, kind of

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<v Speaker 1>like the toothpick that's sometimes holding the hamburger together. Now,

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<v Speaker 1>I wasn't the most adventurous of eaters as a kid,

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<v Speaker 1>so it is possible I wouldn't have liked pickles then,

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<v Speaker 1>But as an adult, I eat most things. Eventually I

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<v Speaker 1>got around to trying a pickle, and I was like, hey,

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<v Speaker 1>this is pretty tasty. I don't necessarily seek them out,

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<v Speaker 1>but I wouldn't leave a juicy spear sitting on my

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<v Speaker 1>plate either. Of course, pickles aren't all that important in

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<v Speaker 1>the grand scheme of things, But sometimes the family lessons

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<v Speaker 1>we grow up with are more consequential in terms of

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<v Speaker 1>how we spend our time. For instance, when I was

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<v Speaker 1>writing I Know How She Does It, which is a

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<v Speaker 1>book about how professional women spend their time, I learned

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<v Speaker 1>that a number of women learned from their own mothers

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<v Speaker 1>that a responsible working mother should spend all Sunday afternoon

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<v Speaker 1>cooking dinners for the upcoming week. Now never mind that

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<v Speaker 1>other family members might also be capable of cooking, or

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<v Speaker 1>that it takes more time to thaw a frozen lasagna

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<v Speaker 1>on Wednesday than it does to cook a piece of

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<v Speaker 1>salmon and open a bag stylead. People were completely convinced

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<v Speaker 1>that they were saving themselves time. People have their stories

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<v Speaker 1>with work, too, like, if you want to advance in

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<v Speaker 1>your career, you should always be at your desk when

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<v Speaker 1>your boss walks in. Maybe that's what your dad attributed

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<v Speaker 1>his success to when you were growing up, and so

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<v Speaker 1>that is what you believe. We don't consider that maybe

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<v Speaker 1>the boss showed up early to get some quiet time

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<v Speaker 1>at the office and it is actually miffed that her

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<v Speaker 1>employees are there. In any case, different people grow up

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<v Speaker 1>with different stories. We want to make sure that we

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<v Speaker 1>don't just make assumptions if those assumptions aren't really serving

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<v Speaker 1>our lives. A good way to identify stories that might

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<v Speaker 1>be guiding our behaviors is to listen to our self talk.

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<v Speaker 1>If someone asked you why you are doing what you

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<v Speaker 1>are doing, how would you explain it? Listen to your answer.

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<v Speaker 1>If you don't really have an answer, well that's interesting

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<v Speaker 1>to know. Or if it contains words like well everyone

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<v Speaker 1>knows that, or well you can't just do X, or

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<v Speaker 1>well I've always just or anything along those lines, well,

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<v Speaker 1>then we know we've got a narrative. And maybe the

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<v Speaker 1>story really works for you. Maybe it is true, but

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<v Speaker 1>maybe you are just automatically passing by a food at

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<v Speaker 1>the grocery store because you never ate it growing up,

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<v Speaker 1>and it might be good. Or maybe you've never considered

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<v Speaker 1>trying an activity because you don't know anyone else who's

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<v Speaker 1>done it. That doesn't mean it might not be a

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<v Speaker 1>fun way to spend a weekend. I never went to

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<v Speaker 1>amusement parks growing up, so it took me a long

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<v Speaker 1>time to try my first roller coaster. I still don't

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<v Speaker 1>leap at the daredevil ones, but some of the mild

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<v Speaker 1>ones are pretty cool. Or maybe more consequentially, you are

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<v Speaker 1>not getting the child care or household help you need

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<v Speaker 1>to make life sustainable because in your mind, normal people

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<v Speaker 1>don't do that well. The world has a lot of people.

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<v Speaker 1>None of us are really all that normal when you

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<v Speaker 1>think about it, So spend some time thinking about what

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<v Speaker 1>you consider normal and whether it is in fact the

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<v Speaker 1>way things need to be. If so, great, but you

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<v Speaker 1>might try a roller coaster or a pickle, or maybe

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<v Speaker 1>come into work at a time that works for you

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<v Speaker 1>rather than following your bosses particular quirks. In the meantime,

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<v Speaker 1>this is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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<v Speaker 1>the most of our time. Hey, everybody, I'd love to

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<v Speaker 1>hear from you. You can send me your tips, your questions,

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<v Speaker 1>or anything else. Just connect with me on Twitter, Facebook

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<v Speaker 1>and Instagram at Before Breakfast Pod that's b E the

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<v Speaker 1>number four than breakfast p o D. You can also

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<v Speaker 1>shoot me an email at Before Breakfast Podcast at iHeartMedia

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<v Speaker 1>dot com that Before Breakfast is spelled out with all

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<v Speaker 1>the letters. Thanks so much. I look forward to staying

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<v Speaker 1>in touch. Before Breakfast is a production of I heart Radio.

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