WEBVTT - Getting off SCOTT Free 0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:06.600 Hey there, everybody. Welcome to the latest episode, this episode 0:00:06.720 --> 0:00:10.440 of Amy and TJ. I want to start by asking 0:00:10.440 --> 0:00:13.360 a question of you, Robot, of something you just said. 0:00:13.760 --> 0:00:18.400 Maybe other parents out there can possibly answer this. What 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:22.640 does it mean when you say I raised my child 0:00:22.760 --> 0:00:27.400 well enough? You just say you say you raised her right? 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:27.840 Right? 0:00:28.080 --> 0:00:29.760 You raised you didn't say you raised or right. You 0:00:29.760 --> 0:00:33.000 were talking about something complimentary. You're complimenting your seventeen year 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:35.920 old an Elyse said I raised her right enough? 0:00:36.600 --> 0:00:37.240 What does that mean? 0:00:37.600 --> 0:00:40.960 It means that I don't want to take credit for 0:00:41.200 --> 0:00:44.199 what she does well, and I also don't want to 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:47.760 take credit for what she doesn't do well. No, I 0:00:47.920 --> 0:00:52.960 joke a little bit, but I do believe that what 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:56.000 I wanted to do as a mom was to give 0:00:56.040 --> 0:01:00.680 them a foundation, give them an example, but then expect 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:02.880 them to figure it out a little bit on their own. 0:01:02.960 --> 0:01:06.600 So when they start to figure it out, I'm proud, 0:01:06.680 --> 0:01:10.559 But I don't take credit because I know that there 0:01:10.600 --> 0:01:12.520 are really take credit. 0:01:13.200 --> 0:01:17.720 Yeah, absolutely, I think you should take credit. But I've 0:01:17.760 --> 0:01:20.119 never heard that before. People say, oh, you were raised right, 0:01:20.240 --> 0:01:21.080 somebody raised you right. 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:21.200 Oh. 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:23.560 Sometimes your own parents will say I raised you right 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:25.720 because they're proud of something that you just did. You 0:01:25.720 --> 0:01:28.880 did have to lay a foundation, but that foundation, again, 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:31.520 it's foundation so for them to build on. So when 0:01:31.560 --> 0:01:34.440 you say it, right enough, I was laughing. But now 0:01:34.480 --> 0:01:35.840 I didn't know. You didn't know I was going to 0:01:35.840 --> 0:01:37.120 ask you this question, but I didn't know you were 0:01:37.120 --> 0:01:38.320 going to get so heavy. 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:38.440 On me there. 0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:42.320 Well, you know what I think, what I have tried 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:45.200 to do is not take ownership of my children. They're 0:01:45.200 --> 0:01:49.240 not mine. They're their own, beautiful, free souls who I 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:51.720 get to guide. But at the end of the day, 0:01:51.760 --> 0:01:54.160 what they choose is what they choose. And so that's 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:56.280 kind of where the disconnect was, where I. 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:56.640 Kind of. 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:00.920 A buffer cover when they I know. 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:04.120 Look, actually, you know the funny thing is when they 0:02:04.120 --> 0:02:06.960 do fuck up, I probably will take ownership of that 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:09.120 and say what did I do wrong? And I'll probably 0:02:09.160 --> 0:02:12.600 feel guilty about it, And hilariously, I think I'd be 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:15.320 more willing to take that on and say I should 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:17.720 have done better here, there or wherever. 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:19.960 But when they do well, I want them to own it. 0:02:20.160 --> 0:02:22.200 So anyway, it's silly. It was just a little thing. 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:26.360 She thanked you for something without my prompting, which I 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:29.720 was like, oh, that's so good to hear I raised 0:02:29.760 --> 0:02:34.120 her well enough or right enough, like okay, good like 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:36.440 I wasn't expecting that. And then it made me really 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:38.000 happy that she did it. But I didn't want to 0:02:38.000 --> 0:02:39.640 take credit for it. Does that make any sense? 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:42.400 I don't know if my child would have done so, 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:44.840 I said, Man, I feel good even though I say 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:47.040 it to myself. Man, I raised it right, she was 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:49.119 raised right. Man, I did a good job. I did 0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:52.480 something right. I would never think well, I did right enough. 0:02:53.400 --> 0:02:56.400 I think I know that I've messed up enough. But 0:02:56.440 --> 0:02:58.520 we were Actually I actually just took her. 0:02:58.480 --> 0:03:01.320 To the airport. She's going on and break again. Here's 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:03.240 another story of me having a child go off on 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:05.920 their own. So she's you know, she's at an age 0:03:05.919 --> 0:03:08.120 where I did this to my senior year. But this 0:03:08.200 --> 0:03:12.480 is for me, the first time she's going anywhere without 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:16.760 any sort of supervision. So eventually, even when she gets there, 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:19.400 she's still with her other friends. So we had some 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:22.800 amazing conversations in the car on the way to the airport. 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:26.280 And of course it's a very long ride to JFK 0:03:27.320 --> 0:03:30.960 on a busy commuting commuting money Monday. Sorry, I can't 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:36.320 talk on a very busy commuter day, work weekday. It's 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:40.160 not Monday. Yes, well I'm doing great. 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:40.960 So. 0:03:43.680 --> 0:03:47.680 I'm right enough. Yes, I hope everyone can commiserate. If 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:50.880 you two get tongue talk. Oh my god, Okay, maybe 0:03:50.920 --> 0:03:52.920 I should let you keep talking. No, So, anyway, we 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:57.720 had a good conversation about just all the different twists 0:03:57.760 --> 0:03:59.800 and turns of life and how I'm just proud of 0:03:59.840 --> 0:04:04.000 how she's made certain choices, and I'm proud of the 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:09.680 fact that her resilience has shown through some very difficult times. 0:04:09.720 --> 0:04:11.040 And so I hope I was just talking to her 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:13.920 about carrying that with her throughout her life and taking 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:15.600 all these moments when things don't go the way you 0:04:15.640 --> 0:04:19.440 want them to or things get messy, that you find 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:21.400 a way not to point to other people and say 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:23.039 why did you do this to me? Why did this 0:04:23.080 --> 0:04:26.000 happen to me, but instead to say I learned something, 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:27.719 and I'm going to I'm going to be able to 0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:30.520 take what I learned and make this something that I 0:04:30.520 --> 0:04:32.360 can own. I can say what can I do better? 0:04:32.360 --> 0:04:33.880 What can I do differently? Anyway, we just have this 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:37.280 great insightful conversation. Yeah, maybe that prompted to thank you. 0:04:37.400 --> 0:04:39.760 I don't know the great way to store spring break 0:04:41.640 --> 0:04:44.000 want as you would say, No. 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:46.520 Yeah, that's fair, that's fair. 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:49.560 Your kids are really really impressive. They are really really impressive. 0:04:49.560 --> 0:04:52.680 They're so different. But yes, I didn't plan on asking 0:04:52.680 --> 0:04:54.359 me about that when we started here, but that just 0:04:54.400 --> 0:04:56.000 came up. You said, I raised her right enough, and 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:57.640 that was funny to me. I planned on starting the 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:02.039 episode by talking about something that seven episodes ago, seven 0:05:02.080 --> 0:05:05.200 episodes ago. I don't expect you to remember exactly, but 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:08.360 it was the episode that we had doctor Elizabeth Coleman on. Okay, 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:10.840 now do you remember, and again this is not a 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:14.440 trick question, but you might remember what I said to 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:16.880 you when we started. There was a particular way. Do 0:05:16.920 --> 0:05:18.640 you remember what I said at the beginning of that. 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:22.760 Episode, the beginning of the Doctor Coman episode. No, you're 0:05:22.760 --> 0:05:24.640 gonna have to refresh my mind. I came in hot, 0:05:24.839 --> 0:05:27.680 you came in hot. The first thing on my mouth 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:29.279 was I got a bone to pick with you. 0:05:29.760 --> 0:05:30.640 I still don't remember. 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:33.919 Okay, all right, that's okay. But doctor Coleman was on 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:36.159 because doctor Coleman has a book talking about women's health 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:37.599 that she was in the studio with us at the 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:39.320 time we were starting, and I told you I got 0:05:39.320 --> 0:05:44.279 a bone to pick. I see, it had been a 0:05:44.320 --> 0:05:48.200 year and a half since you had had your recommended 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:50.880 blood work as a breast cancer survivor for them to 0:05:50.960 --> 0:05:53.880 come back in and check you out. Okay, am I 0:05:53.920 --> 0:05:55.000 sending this up right? You remember? 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:55.599 Now? Yes? 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:59.360 I absolutely do, and so yes, up until that point 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:02.040 it had been recommended to me, and I had followed 0:06:02.760 --> 0:06:05.919 very religiously, going in every six months for blood work. 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:08.120 And we want to keep and again, so we want 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:10.440 to start here, folks with a little bit of news 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:13.960 because we have had you all along for this journey. 0:06:14.680 --> 0:06:19.000 So move forward a few episodes after that one, and 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:22.320 you gave an update that you had in fact madeor appointment. 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:24.600 Now we won't get into why you may. Yeah, yeah, 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:25.960 I'm going to get into why you made the appointment. 0:06:26.279 --> 0:06:28.359 I was actually having some health issues and I have 0:06:28.480 --> 0:06:31.320 some unexplained or had some unexplained weight loss, and you 0:06:31.400 --> 0:06:33.159 were telling me to get into the doctor, and you 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:34.360 were on me pretty good about it. 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:36.400 Yeah, I said, maybe you needed some blood work. 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:40.120 Yes you did, which was hilrinous coming from a moment 0:06:40.120 --> 0:06:44.560 who was a year and a half passed. But I mean, 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:47.000 I wasn't trying to shame you, but you know you 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:49.360 should have gotten in. There were reasons for fine, whatelse 0:06:49.440 --> 0:06:53.600 it worked. But you told us on that episode that 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:55.240 you had in fact made an appointment. 0:06:55.279 --> 0:06:57.080 Yes, yes, and I surprised you with it. 0:06:57.160 --> 0:06:59.200 I didn't even realize that I was going to drop 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:00.960 that bomb, but it was a good one, and so 0:07:01.080 --> 0:07:08.960 yes I did, and we went in together and I 0:07:09.000 --> 0:07:13.120 got the blood work. It actually was remarkably quick and easy. 0:07:13.400 --> 0:07:15.360 It's so funny what you worry about and what you 0:07:15.400 --> 0:07:17.920 think about, and then when it actually happens and you 0:07:17.960 --> 0:07:20.600 do it, it's so much easier than you were anticipating, 0:07:20.680 --> 0:07:24.360 isn't it Always the anticipation that's the toughest part. And 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:28.080 so we went in, got the blood work. It was 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.239 awesome to have you by my side. Thank you, because 0:07:30.280 --> 0:07:32.560 I always have a little bit of a tough time 0:07:32.640 --> 0:07:36.040 emotionally going back into that building where I first got diagnosed, 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:37.360 and I think that is part of the reason why 0:07:37.400 --> 0:07:38.920 I dragged my feet a little bit. Not only am 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:41.600 I worried about potentially what the results could be, but 0:07:41.640 --> 0:07:44.800 it's just going back into that building is tough. For me, 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.720 so to have you there with me was huge, So 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:51.679 thank you. And got the results back just a little 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:56.960 while ago, and I am all clear, all clear, And 0:07:57.000 --> 0:07:59.400 I think when I sent you the text, I sent 0:07:59.440 --> 0:08:05.000 a little champagne glasses clinking like cheers, because thank you 0:08:05.240 --> 0:08:08.040 for pushing me a little bit to get into that 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:12.520 office and to be able to say, Okay, I got 0:08:12.520 --> 0:08:14.680 the blood work, and now I haven't all clear for 0:08:14.720 --> 0:08:16.440 a while, and now she told me I can come 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:19.440 back once a year now, so I've graduated to once 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:21.880 a year. But the thread is always there and I'll 0:08:21.880 --> 0:08:24.200 probably always drag my feet a little bit because it's 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:26.720 always scary, what's this test going to show? What's this 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:29.000 blood we're going to do? But when you do do it, 0:08:29.720 --> 0:08:32.000 and you do if you are lucky enough to get 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:37.560 a good result, wow, is that a huge, huge relief. 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:41.080 And I am I don't want to be crass or 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:44.200 have this sound like I'm not being sensitive to it, 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:46.280 but I have been learning. I've known you obviously for 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:49.560 ten years, but been in a relationship with you like 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:52.320 this only for the past year and a half, two 0:08:52.440 --> 0:08:57.440 years coming up on potentially here this year. But I 0:08:57.480 --> 0:09:01.920 am learning about what this means too, and why you 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:05.679 did drag your feet because when you go in again, 0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:07.480 I'll put this in the shortest way, this is how 0:09:08.600 --> 0:09:11.200 you all explained to me. Breast cancer survivor, you go 0:09:11.240 --> 0:09:12.680 in and get this blood work, if there is a 0:09:12.679 --> 0:09:15.160 recurrence or has come back, is it essentially a death sentence. 0:09:15.520 --> 0:09:18.280 You're essentially being told that this cancer now is metastatic 0:09:18.280 --> 0:09:20.520 and there's no cure for that. So you go in 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:23.480 and sitting in that office with you with doctor Ratzo, 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:25.880 you obviously know well, but I've had a chance to 0:09:25.880 --> 0:09:28.800 get to know here lately. Did I have more questions 0:09:28.840 --> 0:09:29.320 than you? 0:09:29.320 --> 0:09:32.040 You did? You asked a lot of questions. Actually, well, 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.600 it was such a loving thing to do because yes, 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:37.240 you're a journalist, but you're curious because you love me 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:41.000 and you haven't been along in an intimate way on 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:44.480 this journey, and so you had questions about being a 0:09:44.520 --> 0:09:47.720 breast cancer survivor and what that means. And most people 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:51.000 don't know unless they've walked down that road. And especially 0:09:51.040 --> 0:09:53.080 you know there are different kinds of breast cancers, but 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:55.439 she pointed out to you when you have a estrogen 0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:58.600 positive cancer, some of the other cancers are more aggressive. 0:09:58.600 --> 0:10:02.120 And scarier at first, and if you can make it 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:05.600 five years or ten years, there's a bigger relief of whoo, 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:07.800 it's probably not going to come back when you have 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:11.199 a estrogen positive cancer. I also had a positive lymph node. 0:10:11.840 --> 0:10:13.959 My uncle score was higher than they expected, So there's 0:10:14.000 --> 0:10:16.080 a lot of things that factor into it. But she 0:10:16.200 --> 0:10:19.120 basically explained to you that I can never have that 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:20.359 sigh of relief. 0:10:20.720 --> 0:10:24.400 Ever in life. She explained percentages and how do they 0:10:24.400 --> 0:10:26.600 go up? How do you get them down? And I 0:10:26.679 --> 0:10:28.880 understand it a little better now, but even listening to 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:31.160 you now, this is where I think a lot of 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:35.000 people in society don't get unless you have somebody right 0:10:35.000 --> 0:10:37.520 next to it. But when you say a lymph node this, 0:10:37.760 --> 0:10:40.040 or an ANCA score or that, it gets into the 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:43.600 weeds to where I don't get it. I'm learning a 0:10:43.600 --> 0:10:46.720 little more. But bottom line, when you go in and 0:10:46.760 --> 0:10:49.320 you get this blood work, you are essentially waiting for 0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:52.679 them to tell you whether or not you have gotten 0:10:52.720 --> 0:10:56.880 a death sentence. And that is the simplest and shortest way. 0:10:56.920 --> 0:10:59.120 And I didn't want you to see me, but I 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:01.400 wiped tears out of my eye sitting in that office, 0:11:01.720 --> 0:11:02.440 and you didn't see that. 0:11:02.520 --> 0:11:03.200 I didn't say that. 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:05.720 How she's explaining things and I'm trying to be the 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:07.720 strong and a crack a joke here and do this 0:11:07.800 --> 0:11:10.120 and keep everything warm, and she said a few things 0:11:10.120 --> 0:11:15.360 that fuck just fucks me up to think about the 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:18.240 road ahead, and it makes you want to We are 0:11:18.240 --> 0:11:22.360 not wasting a day. We are we just cannot. And yeah, 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:24.240 you might never have to do with breast cancer again 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:28.480 or rest your life. Hopefully that's the case. But I 0:11:28.520 --> 0:11:30.480 thought it was important to share with the audience. Yes, 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:33.560 in fact, it is done. We got the all clear. 0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:34.840 Now we wait. 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:37.200 Yeah, and you know what I want to point out too. 0:11:37.360 --> 0:11:39.480 It is a death sentence right now, one hundred percent. 0:11:39.640 --> 0:11:43.840 But there are new advances being made every year, and 0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:48.680 there is an incredibly advanced quality of life. But it 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:50.960 is a completely different way of life, and you've seen 0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:54.840 it through our dear beautiful friend Morgan, where you now 0:11:54.920 --> 0:11:58.960 have a life of treatment always every two weeks, every 0:11:58.960 --> 0:12:02.439 three weeks you are getting chemo infusions or you're getting 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:05.600 some sort of immunotherapy and your body is weakened and 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:09.120 you have a different standard of life. And so it 0:12:09.160 --> 0:12:12.880 is a complete about face from the way a lot 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:14.760 of us, and most of us live and so there 0:12:14.880 --> 0:12:21.200 is there is an intention behind every moment that you 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:26.080 don't necessarily have until you've walked this path, and I 0:12:26.120 --> 0:12:27.960 hope no one has to, but there is a beauty 0:12:27.960 --> 0:12:28.240 in it. 0:12:28.679 --> 0:12:29.360 There is a joint. 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:31.160 I'm about to go on a trip with Morgan here 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:33.200 in a couple of weeks because that girl is seeing 0:12:33.280 --> 0:12:36.600 the world. And you know, that's what I have taken 0:12:36.679 --> 0:12:40.679 from this is that all of us aren't guaranteed tomorrow. 0:12:40.760 --> 0:12:42.400 So if all of us can live differently and better 0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:44.840 because of it. But a light bulb went off for you, 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:46.560 I could tell yesterday. 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:49.480 Yeah, yeah it did. And look they will continue to 0:12:49.480 --> 0:12:52.280 do so and I'll continue to learn and then west. 0:12:52.280 --> 0:12:54.599 Being with you has been one of the great joys 0:12:55.400 --> 0:12:57.679 of my life. You never know what direction life is 0:12:57.679 --> 0:12:59.280 going to take me, but here we are in the 0:12:59.360 --> 0:13:01.680 universe has here and to your point there about you 0:13:01.760 --> 0:13:05.959 never know. You never know what day is going to 0:13:06.000 --> 0:13:10.200 be your last, or what moment. And we certainly thought 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:12.040 about that and talked about that when we were watching 0:13:12.040 --> 0:13:16.079 the bridge collapse in Baltimore. Just to think the people 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:18.560 who were just going about their day or working or whatever, 0:13:18.640 --> 0:13:21.160 and something like that in a moment, a split second. 0:13:21.160 --> 0:13:22.880 And you kept pointing out as we were watching the 0:13:22.920 --> 0:13:26.360 video of the cars that were going by, I mean, 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:29.079 think about the people who just missed it by seconds 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:31.839 or a minute or whatever going across that bridge and 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.760 they got home to their families or whatever, because you 0:13:34.920 --> 0:13:38.240 just never know you were in a moment where something 0:13:38.280 --> 0:13:41.520 like that happened. So we wanted to certainly acknowledge that's 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:43.400 going to be a story for a long time, a 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:47.160 lot of healing in that community and rebuilding in that community. 0:13:47.280 --> 0:13:51.080 And as we were talking here, I believe it's six 0:13:51.120 --> 0:13:53.679 people who are on accounted for and they've called off 0:13:53.679 --> 0:13:55.960 the search. But that was a it was an awful, 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:56.920 awful thing to say. 0:13:57.040 --> 0:14:00.000 Yeah, we woke up to it, and watching that video 0:14:00.400 --> 0:14:05.400 just makes your heart wrench and your your stomach just 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:08.679 tightened because you just think, oh, my goodness, probably those 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.080 folks for either I don't know, coming back from the airport, 0:14:11.120 --> 0:14:12.920 are getting off of a long night shift. You know 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:15.880 who's driving at those hours, and you're probably just wanting 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:17.760 to get home or maybe you're going to work, but 0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:20.280 not thinking about the unthinkable. 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:23.040 Righting. 0:14:23.080 --> 0:14:24.760 Thank god, it was one thirty in the morning, but 0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:26.920 I just yes, I was looking at those cars like 0:14:27.080 --> 0:14:30.680 just seconds before, thinking what are those people thinking now? 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:32.240 And you know what, I bet every one of those 0:14:32.280 --> 0:14:34.720 people who were on that bridge moments before, and there 0:14:34.720 --> 0:14:36.880 were a lot of them, will never live the same. 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:40.080 They will never look at each day the way they 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:44.360 did before. They will hug they. I mean when I start, 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:46.560 honestly this week and when I know I'm about to 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:48.280 get a blood test, and it's silly to have it 0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:51.480 only be in these moments, but I'm reminded again, call 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:54.120 your friends, call your family, tell them you love them 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:55.080 like you just don't know. 0:14:55.600 --> 0:14:57.440 So yeah, and that other part of that. And you 0:14:57.480 --> 0:14:59.960 and I have been to scenes of low our career. 0:15:00.680 --> 0:15:03.680 Many times we get that call, head to this town, 0:15:03.760 --> 0:15:06.240 head to that town, And it was so much of 0:15:06.240 --> 0:15:08.560 what we did for so long, and we got into 0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:10.720 the business to it because we did enjoy the reporting. 0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:14.120 We did enjoy being on the big stories and watching 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:19.760 this and thinking being on those scenes and that emotion 0:15:20.120 --> 0:15:22.720 and the toll it takes on you over ten twenty 0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:26.640 thirty years, nothing compared to what those families are going through. 0:15:26.640 --> 0:15:29.040 But it was to sit back and watch it from 0:15:29.080 --> 0:15:33.120 a distance it kind of struck me a little different 0:15:33.480 --> 0:15:38.480 to watch it this way and didn't miss, didn't have 0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:40.840 a desire to want to rush out there and be 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:43.720 on the scene and do the reporting, is how I 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:47.560 felt in that moment, because it's just so draining and emotional, 0:15:47.680 --> 0:15:52.000 and just I had that thought I was watching something. 0:15:52.080 --> 0:15:53.240 Well, we didn't talk about that. 0:15:53.680 --> 0:15:57.640 I just said, oh God, you get transported to what 0:15:57.680 --> 0:16:00.240 we did, as you said, for all those years, adding 0:16:00.240 --> 0:16:01.760 the calls in the middle of the night and jumping 0:16:01.800 --> 0:16:06.200 on planes and racing to these scenes of just awful tragedy, 0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:08.440 whether it was whether it was a school shooting or 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:12.240 it was an act of terrorism, or just a horrific 0:16:12.880 --> 0:16:18.640 natural disaster or an unexplained accident. But yeah, we've rushed 0:16:18.640 --> 0:16:21.640 to those scenes for the majority of our adult lives 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:25.120 and talk to the people most directly affected. But yes, 0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:29.360 when you're sitting back and watching it, and I will say, yes, 0:16:29.480 --> 0:16:32.160 our hearts go out to all of the people impacted 0:16:32.200 --> 0:16:38.120 and affected. And yet I don't miss, don't I don't 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:40.960 miss putting myself in the middle of it all. It's 0:16:41.000 --> 0:16:43.360 a lot, it's a lot, but it was. Yeah, that 0:16:43.440 --> 0:16:46.360 was probably one of the first big news stories where 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:50.680 there were casualties that we weren't called to report on. 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:55.200 But look, we applaud there are plenty of journalists out there, 0:16:55.280 --> 0:16:57.680 reporter are doing great work. And to be on that scene, 0:16:57.880 --> 0:16:59.520 it's not just a matter of the hours and getting 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:01.560 in front of a case and all of that being 0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:04.040 away from your family. It does. It takes a toll 0:17:04.080 --> 0:17:07.040 on those journalists we know to be there and talking 0:17:07.080 --> 0:17:10.200 to families or dealing with communities that are having such 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:12.479 a difficult time, so our hearts go out to them, 0:17:12.520 --> 0:17:15.440 and that this was a big story, and we both 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:17.640 think back to another big story that we covered years 0:17:17.640 --> 0:17:20.760 and years ago that we didn't think we'd be covering 0:17:20.800 --> 0:17:24.000 again because this was twenty plus years ago now. And 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:27.359 what we're talking about here is the Lacy Peterson in 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:30.080 Scott Peterson his murder trial. He's been in prison for 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:33.320 twenty plus years now, convicted of her murder. I don't 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.400 have to go into the backstory about Lacy Peterson, Scott Peterson, 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:38.159 you know it. But to sit here now with you, 0:17:38.240 --> 0:17:40.440 robok and to think that story's not over, to think 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:44.879 that there is now someone legit I say someone, an entity, 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:48.560 the La Innocence Project, the Innocence Project over this in 0:17:48.600 --> 0:17:52.320 this country has a hell of a reputation. They are 0:17:52.359 --> 0:17:57.440 getting involved to possibly look at new evidence that they 0:17:57.600 --> 0:18:00.960 say could possibly exonerate Scott Peterson. 0:18:01.160 --> 0:18:02.800 That's right, And you and I have talked about this 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:05.160 because when you cover these stories the way we have, 0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:09.359 Yes there is the trial, Yes there's the jury and 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:12.679 the conviction, and there's some interest in all of that. 0:18:12.800 --> 0:18:15.960 People love crime shows. But what we know is when 0:18:15.960 --> 0:18:19.520 you cover these stories, it's the victims' families that are 0:18:19.680 --> 0:18:22.800 obviously the most impacted that get lost in so many 0:18:22.840 --> 0:18:25.719 ways when we're all covering this. And so I just 0:18:25.840 --> 0:18:28.000 as we talk about this, I do want to acknowledge 0:18:28.000 --> 0:18:30.760 and I know you do too, TJ. Lacy Peterson's family. 0:18:31.080 --> 0:18:34.720 They have been through something that none of us would 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:37.600 ever want for anyone we love, to lose their daughter 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:41.440 and their grandson, Connor. She was eight months pregnant. Both 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:44.919 of their bodies washed up four months after she went missing. 0:18:45.520 --> 0:18:47.040 I think that was April of two thousand and three. 0:18:47.119 --> 0:18:49.160 And what they've been through so finally to get through 0:18:49.200 --> 0:18:51.800 the trial, to feel like there's some justice. Of course 0:18:51.920 --> 0:18:54.399 their pain never ends, but to at least feel like 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:57.680 they've had justice served, gives two decades removed. 0:18:57.760 --> 0:18:59.679 Yes, they kind I don't want to say they ever 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:03.480 would completely move on. But for twenty years, you think 0:19:03.520 --> 0:19:05.919 that the person responsible for killing these two people you 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:10.720 love is going away. Now this is done, and you're 0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:13.199 trying to move on and rebuild in your life. And 0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:16.000 now can you imagine them being told, wait a second, 0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:19.320 wait a second, this guy might be this guy might 0:19:19.359 --> 0:19:22.080 be innocent. So what happened? Can you imagine what's going 0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:22.480 on in there? 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:25.240 Hends now and so all of this has obviously been 0:19:25.240 --> 0:19:28.080 happening for quite some time, because remember in twenty twenty, 0:19:28.320 --> 0:19:32.600