1
00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:13,720
Speaker 1: Nicky Nikky. Hello, welcome to the Nikki Glazer Podcast. It

2
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:19,000
Speaker 1: is Monday, August something. I don't even know it was all.

3
00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:22,880
Speaker 1: It was Friday. On this past Friday, I read a

4
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:27,040
Speaker 1: tweet that said, uh, you know, the world is going

5
00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:29,960
Speaker 1: to hell in a handbast something like that. Because it's

6
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:33,199
Speaker 1: Friday and no one is commenting on it. It's just like,

7
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,680
Speaker 1: you know, like usually it's there's a lot of press

8
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:43,239
Speaker 1: leading up to to Friday. Um, yeah, nothing, no one.

9
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,600
Speaker 1: I didn't even it went by without even me noting

10
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,560
Speaker 1: that it went by. No, what do you have any

11
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,120
Speaker 1: superstitions about that stuff? Because I always try it the

12
00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:54,560
Speaker 1: first of the month to say rabbit rabbit. It's like

13
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,800
Speaker 1: the first thing. And by try, I mean I've never

14
00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:59,000
Speaker 1: once done it since I was twelve and heard that

15
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,680
Speaker 1: it's good luck that on the turn of the first

16
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,720
Speaker 1: of the month you say rabbit rabbit. I don't know

17
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:10,800
Speaker 1: where it came from. Um. I I do have any superstitions, though,

18
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:14,200
Speaker 1: like are you? I'm not superstitious. But the thing that

19
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:19,080
Speaker 1: I keep finding myself No, I'm non stitious. But the

20
00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:21,679
Speaker 1: thing that the stupid thing I keep doing is if

21
00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,520
Speaker 1: I if I look at the time and it's all

22
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,840
Speaker 1: the same number, Like if it's one eleven, I'll make

23
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:30,240
Speaker 1: a wish. Yeah, okay, well one eleven. No one's talking

24
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:34,160
Speaker 1: about eleven eleven. That one is the one that everyone

25
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:38,080
Speaker 1: makes the wish on. So if it's like to to two, right,

26
00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:42,280
Speaker 1: like two or three thirty three? Right, Okay, I like that,

27
00:01:42,319 --> 00:01:43,720
Speaker 1: maybe I'll pick up that one. And you know what,

28
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,440
Speaker 1: I don't need another one, so poscisions become so o

29
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,080
Speaker 1: c D. And I'm sure, um, I would love to

30
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,880
Speaker 1: actually to hear from our best ties about the dumbest

31
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:56,640
Speaker 1: things you do superstitiously and um, and I'll recommend the

32
00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,120
Speaker 1: best medication for you to be on to make those

33
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,960
Speaker 1: stops so you can get it on with your fucking

34
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:04,920
Speaker 1: day and realize that none of that stuff, you know what, Actually,

35
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,720
Speaker 1: now that I've become more spiritual, I do believe in

36
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:14,040
Speaker 1: those moments help you pause and maybe connect to something

37
00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,000
Speaker 1: outside yourself, like a um, you know, like as someone

38
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,760
Speaker 1: who didn't believe in God for a while. Superstitions, I

39
00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:24,760
Speaker 1: think we're my connection to like God or like something

40
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,160
Speaker 1: something's controlling the way things work, and I have to

41
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:31,560
Speaker 1: keep them happy to you know, like stay alive or whatever.

42
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:34,720
Speaker 1: I used to have a joke that, um, you know

43
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,240
Speaker 1: I used to and I always still do this where

44
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,800
Speaker 1: not actually I don't always do it anymore, but I

45
00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:42,440
Speaker 1: used to have a thing where, you know, if I

46
00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,680
Speaker 1: don't reach if I if I'm on a run and

47
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,400
Speaker 1: I'm like, I see they where I want to end.

48
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,680
Speaker 1: If I don't get to the end before this duelipa

49
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,959
Speaker 1: song ends, like I'll just pick in the arbitrary. They'll

50
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:56,600
Speaker 1: just pop in my head. Then I will not um,

51
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:58,960
Speaker 1: I will then I will do a BE on my

52
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:02,239
Speaker 1: upcoming special taping instead of an A. Like that's the

53
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:03,680
Speaker 1: kind of thing. It's not like I will fail it.

54
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:05,240
Speaker 1: I'll just get a B and I don't want to be.

55
00:03:05,320 --> 00:03:07,919
Speaker 1: I want an A. And then I'll start just sprinting

56
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:10,840
Speaker 1: and the song is about to end in four seconds.

57
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:13,560
Speaker 1: I'm so far. I'm a half mile away, so it

58
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:16,080
Speaker 1: doesn't even make I'm setting myself up for failure or

59
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,760
Speaker 1: like a if A light, A lot of times I'll

60
00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:21,200
Speaker 1: be looking in my purse for something. If anyone does

61
00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,200
Speaker 1: these very specific ones, please let me know, because sometimes

62
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,280
Speaker 1: you do things that you think no one else does,

63
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:30,600
Speaker 1: and it's wild when someone goes I do that too.

64
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,760
Speaker 1: Sometimes I'll be like digging in my purse for let's say,

65
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:37,160
Speaker 1: a credit card or like a chapstick or something, and

66
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:40,480
Speaker 1: I'll be driving right and I'll be at a stop.

67
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,920
Speaker 1: I'll be pulling up to a stoplight. It's turning yellow,

68
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:48,040
Speaker 1: and I decide that if I don't find the chapstick

69
00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:52,280
Speaker 1: and put it to my lips before I start or

70
00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:56,240
Speaker 1: before my car stops, like until I come to a

71
00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,440
Speaker 1: complete stop, then bad things. Well, like I don't even

72
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:01,320
Speaker 1: I don't even have enough time to decide the fate,

73
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:04,000
Speaker 1: Like I'll just be like so then I will start

74
00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:07,680
Speaker 1: just like slowing down and like just you know, really

75
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,800
Speaker 1: inching for it. And then I get so close to

76
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,360
Speaker 1: the bumper in front of me because I just don't

77
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:13,120
Speaker 1: want to stop before I find the top stick, and

78
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:14,600
Speaker 1: then I have to stop, and I go, I guess

79
00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:18,120
Speaker 1: you know they are going to cut my joke on

80
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,960
Speaker 1: f Boy Island season or episode eight or something like

81
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,840
Speaker 1: it's just so stupid. But I used to have a

82
00:04:22,920 --> 00:04:25,520
Speaker 1: joke that, um, I was really superstitious as a child

83
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,520
Speaker 1: will not super but kind of I use that joke

84
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,440
Speaker 1: that I used on you before that seemed off the dome.

85
00:04:29,440 --> 00:04:34,680
Speaker 1: But it wasn't. Um, and I said that, uh, you know,

86
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,240
Speaker 1: I would be playing basketball in my front yard or

87
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,680
Speaker 1: not yard but driveway, and I would say, if you

88
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:46,000
Speaker 1: don't make this basket, your sister will be kidnapped. And

89
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:49,400
Speaker 1: then I would um, oh, I would try so hard

90
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,760
Speaker 1: to just throw the ball behind my head. Um like

91
00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:54,159
Speaker 1: it was. It was a joke like that of like

92
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:56,520
Speaker 1: your I would love her to be kidnapped because she

93
00:04:56,640 --> 00:05:00,839
Speaker 1: was so pretty. Um. The super since I have is

94
00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:04,320
Speaker 1: I say, if I say a never statement a superlative

95
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:07,919
Speaker 1: of I've never I don't even want to say it

96
00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:09,720
Speaker 1: right now because I don't. I don't have any wood

97
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,000
Speaker 1: around me, you know, um, and I would have to

98
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,320
Speaker 1: go knock on what well, Like sometimes you look at

99
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,560
Speaker 1: a door and you're like, is that what? Or is

100
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,679
Speaker 1: that like lamin it? And can I do like A

101
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,640
Speaker 1: would if it's inside the wood, like if there's a

102
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:25,040
Speaker 1: coating on top, does that count as would? But if

103
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,960
Speaker 1: I say a never statement, um, like, let me say

104
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:36,160
Speaker 1: I've never had a million. Um. I was about to

105
00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:41,200
Speaker 1: say dollars, but I'm not trying to brag. I don't

106
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:43,680
Speaker 1: know if that's that really was shitty of me and

107
00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:46,960
Speaker 1: revealed too much. I've never had. Listen, it's not my money.

108
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,919
Speaker 1: By the way, I might have a million dollars, but

109
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,479
Speaker 1: you know this, whatever you have in the bank, it

110
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,240
Speaker 1: ain't yours. Like I can say that. People go, you

111
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,520
Speaker 1: must be you have you reached that point? Yeah, I have.

112
00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:03,400
Speaker 1: I have, but I spend so much money to make

113
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,599
Speaker 1: that money. So and I I split whatever I get.

114
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,600
Speaker 1: I'll talk about that in a second. But um, if

115
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,280
Speaker 1: I do it a never statement like I've never had

116
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,480
Speaker 1: ten million dollars, I'm trying to do one that's positive.

117
00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:13,800
Speaker 1: So I don't have a wood around me, so it

118
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:18,080
Speaker 1: might happen. Um, I've never had a million ten million dollars. Um.

119
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,920
Speaker 1: I if it was a bad thing, I would go

120
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:23,279
Speaker 1: knock on wood. I would hit would three times, knock

121
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,760
Speaker 1: gone wood, and then I go on my head, knock

122
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:29,080
Speaker 1: gone wood. But I didn't do it. So maybe I

123
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,600
Speaker 1: will have ten million dollars someday. That's the only superstition

124
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:35,280
Speaker 1: I really actually have. The other ones, you know, if

125
00:06:35,279 --> 00:06:38,159
Speaker 1: I'll be on a treadmill, which I never am anymore,

126
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,680
Speaker 1: but I used to do it, like if if I

127
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:41,760
Speaker 1: don't finish this four miles sprint by the time the

128
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,640
Speaker 1: song has done whatever that is, then I'm going to

129
00:06:44,760 --> 00:06:49,680
Speaker 1: bomb my appearance on Conan. And sometimes I wouldn't finish

130
00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,080
Speaker 1: the sprint and I would just go, Nikki, that is

131
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,280
Speaker 1: your O c D. That is not actually going to happen.

132
00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:56,440
Speaker 1: But if I did finish it before I go up,

133
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,839
Speaker 1: looks like I don't have to prepare Vergonan because it's

134
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,640
Speaker 1: in the car. Let me talk about the money thing

135
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:06,880
Speaker 1: for a second, because, um, I know, I hate talking

136
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,200
Speaker 1: about money or ever complaining about it or or being

137
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:14,360
Speaker 1: like bashful about having money, because that's even more obnoxious

138
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:18,760
Speaker 1: than just bragging about it. Sometimes I guess, um, I

139
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:22,280
Speaker 1: have been someone who has had no money before and

140
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:25,200
Speaker 1: been very scared, and I don't pretend to understand what

141
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:28,040
Speaker 1: that's like if you have a family or you know

142
00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:29,760
Speaker 1: a lot of debt or anything like that. So I

143
00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,240
Speaker 1: have a lot of empathy for anyone going through that,

144
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,080
Speaker 1: And I don't mean to trigger you by talking about

145
00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,800
Speaker 1: money and being like, but I just I never you

146
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,680
Speaker 1: guys know, if you're listening to the show, I don't

147
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,760
Speaker 1: really look at my money. Ever. I don't really know

148
00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:47,240
Speaker 1: how much I have, um because it scares me and

149
00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:50,000
Speaker 1: I feel like if I look at it. Then um,

150
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,560
Speaker 1: I might see like I might oh like something, and

151
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,000
Speaker 1: then I'll have to give it away. I don't know.

152
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,800
Speaker 1: I have all this fear wrapped around it. It's a

153
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,840
Speaker 1: very common fear. It's the same reason I don't like

154
00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:01,960
Speaker 1: to go you know that I don't like to call

155
00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,920
Speaker 1: insurance companies, and I pay out of pocket for so

156
00:08:04,920 --> 00:08:08,280
Speaker 1: many things that I could just give insurance for because

157
00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,840
Speaker 1: I'm just scared to talk to people on the phone

158
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,280
Speaker 1: and have them be like, oh, yeah, um, why we're

159
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,360
Speaker 1: on the phone. You owe us uh ten million dollars.

160
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,000
Speaker 1: We forgot that and if you don't pay us, you're

161
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,680
Speaker 1: gonna go to jail and lose everything. Like I'm just

162
00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:23,120
Speaker 1: scared of this thing that doesn't even happen. Um. But

163
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:25,800
Speaker 1: what I will say about money is like I did

164
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:29,160
Speaker 1: for the first time look at I was like I

165
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:34,440
Speaker 1: was backstage with a meal in um Atlantic City, waiting

166
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:37,360
Speaker 1: to go on stage and talking about how I want

167
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:40,640
Speaker 1: to bring more people on the road with me and

168
00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,880
Speaker 1: including him. He's going to be on a lot of

169
00:08:42,920 --> 00:08:46,000
Speaker 1: my dates, and I was figuring out how to pay

170
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,920
Speaker 1: him or like, how to make it worth his time.

171
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:51,600
Speaker 1: Because I was once a struggling comic and you know,

172
00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,040
Speaker 1: got brought out and the money you make at the

173
00:08:54,040 --> 00:08:55,720
Speaker 1: club is not enough to like, it's not a living

174
00:08:55,720 --> 00:09:00,280
Speaker 1: wage anywhere close to it. And you know it's actually

175
00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,200
Speaker 1: if you're paying for your own flight and hotel, which

176
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,040
Speaker 1: hotel is usually provided. But I I was telling him,

177
00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:06,920
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know, it seems greedy of

178
00:09:07,040 --> 00:09:09,960
Speaker 1: me to not when you hear how much money I

179
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,760
Speaker 1: make at these gigs. If you're my opener and then

180
00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,959
Speaker 1: you see how much money you make from how much

181
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,920
Speaker 1: I'm paying you, it would seem like, well, that's not fair.

182
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,520
Speaker 1: And and I'm actually just I'm not saying that is

183
00:09:22,559 --> 00:09:24,319
Speaker 1: what my openers say, because I don't think it is.

184
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,000
Speaker 1: Because I do pay them better than most people pay

185
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,120
Speaker 1: their openers. I would say, I don't know that to

186
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:33,400
Speaker 1: be true, but based on my experience, Um, but there's

187
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,679
Speaker 1: there's some fear of me having people see how much

188
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,439
Speaker 1: money I make for certain things I do, because the

189
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:41,439
Speaker 1: people I work with might be like, hey, um, can

190
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:43,640
Speaker 1: you give me some more of that? And I want

191
00:09:43,679 --> 00:09:46,560
Speaker 1: to as and when I make more money, I always

192
00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,120
Speaker 1: try to get everyone that I pay they make more money.

193
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:54,480
Speaker 1: Like you know, I used to make Uh, like, based

194
00:09:54,480 --> 00:09:55,599
Speaker 1: on the check I would get at the end of

195
00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,640
Speaker 1: the week from a club after I did seven shows,

196
00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,760
Speaker 1: it would be I don't even want to say the number,

197
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:04,480
Speaker 1: but it would be a number that's a fraction of

198
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,520
Speaker 1: the amount I make doing one theater show now. And

199
00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:08,679
Speaker 1: that's just you know, that's what happens when you get

200
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:10,560
Speaker 1: a little bit more famous. I'm not at the level

201
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:12,520
Speaker 1: of Sebastian yet, which, by the way, when I was

202
00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,200
Speaker 1: at the Wargot in Atlantic City, I'm walking through the

203
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,360
Speaker 1: bowels of this hotel to get to or casino to

204
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,840
Speaker 1: get to my show, and I'm walking with a meal

205
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,080
Speaker 1: and Andrew, and then we're being escorted by security and

206
00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,560
Speaker 1: they go, um, you know, Sebastians performing here tonight as well,

207
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,480
Speaker 1: not at the same room as I was. Um, and

208
00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:32,240
Speaker 1: if you want to go to a show later, yours

209
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,400
Speaker 1: gets out by the time you could make it over

210
00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:38,680
Speaker 1: to his it starts at ten. And I was like, uh, maybe,

211
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,400
Speaker 1: I don't know if I want to watch comedy after

212
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:44,199
Speaker 1: doing it, but maybe. Hey. By the way, um, I

213
00:10:44,559 --> 00:10:47,560
Speaker 1: under I'm guessing that Sebastian is doing like some kind

214
00:10:47,559 --> 00:10:51,000
Speaker 1: of arena you have on campus. My my theater was

215
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:54,000
Speaker 1: about a thousand seats, and I go, how what What's

216
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,280
Speaker 1: what's Sebastians? And I go three thousand. I go, Actually,

217
00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:01,480
Speaker 1: I thought I would be doing a lot worse then Sebastian,

218
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,520
Speaker 1: like just a two thousand seater discrupancy. We both sold out.

219
00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:09,160
Speaker 1: Um okay, I guess I'm not too far in Sebastians

220
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,240
Speaker 1: a rear view mirror and they go, um, he sold

221
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:14,160
Speaker 1: out seventeen shows, uh in like three minutes, and he's

222
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,840
Speaker 1: he's doing a residency of seventeen shows over like three weeks.

223
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:21,120
Speaker 1: And I was like, never mind, what's seventeen times three?

224
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,240
Speaker 1: I don't know fifty one? Andrew did that math, by

225
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:27,480
Speaker 1: the way, immediately I was like I abandoned the math

226
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,200
Speaker 1: because I was like, I can't do that. So Andrew

227
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:32,880
Speaker 1: just goes at fifty one. I was like, well hello, um,

228
00:11:32,920 --> 00:11:34,880
Speaker 1: so that really like shook me and made me really

229
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:37,320
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, yeah, Sebastian is where I thought he

230
00:11:37,440 --> 00:11:40,719
Speaker 1: was in comparison to me. Um. But what I will

231
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:42,680
Speaker 1: say about it is that when I was talking to

232
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,960
Speaker 1: a Meal, and I never look at my money, and

233
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:48,199
Speaker 1: I don't really I always want to pay everyone as

234
00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,520
Speaker 1: like I just want people to feel good about working

235
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:54,560
Speaker 1: for me and never resent me. Um based on how

236
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,440
Speaker 1: much I'm giving them or how much they see I

237
00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:59,200
Speaker 1: make versus them. And I started just talking to a

238
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,960
Speaker 1: meal about in say, like, you know, I can offer

239
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,800
Speaker 1: you this, and I know that seems low, but can

240
00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:05,480
Speaker 1: I just let me, for the first time ever try

241
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:08,199
Speaker 1: to do some simple math and figure out what I'm

242
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:11,120
Speaker 1: walking away with over a weekend based on my costs

243
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:16,880
Speaker 1: and Noah, I just want to say that the weekend

244
00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,760
Speaker 1: that I picked, which was San Antonio doing two shows

245
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:25,680
Speaker 1: in one night, and you know, everyone on my uh

246
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:32,000
Speaker 1: payroll and all the money I spent on um flights, hotel,

247
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:38,520
Speaker 1: uh you know for my team and uh food, um,

248
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,240
Speaker 1: well for myself, I guess I'm you know, I bought

249
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,560
Speaker 1: dinner one night, and but I didn't even add that

250
00:12:43,720 --> 00:12:46,320
Speaker 1: paying gloves up Chano. To come out and choreographic, you

251
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,440
Speaker 1: have to rent like a dance studio rehearsal spece. I did.

252
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,079
Speaker 1: I did. I had to we rented by the hour,

253
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:55,600
Speaker 1: and that was actually like very affordable. I might do

254
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,560
Speaker 1: that in every town I'm going to because I do

255
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:01,240
Speaker 1: love um corey wrapping dances like adding I want to

256
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,080
Speaker 1: like make more and having glub around was awesome, but

257
00:13:04,559 --> 00:13:06,480
Speaker 1: you know, and and let's discount. I didn't even add

258
00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,000
Speaker 1: glob to this when I was doing this math with

259
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,840
Speaker 1: the meal, and I determined by my loose math. And

260
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,560
Speaker 1: if my business manager is listening, I do need you

261
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:17,120
Speaker 1: to look at what I'm walking away with at another weekend,

262
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:21,080
Speaker 1: because sometimes my agent will message me and go, wow,

263
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,640
Speaker 1: the numbers were great this weekend. You walked away with

264
00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:26,319
Speaker 1: data dat And I go, is that the number before?

265
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:31,280
Speaker 1: After you take your share and my manager takes this share,

266
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:34,439
Speaker 1: and my lawyer takes to share, and my business manager

267
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:39,000
Speaker 1: takes their share from like you know, processing all that

268
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:43,280
Speaker 1: money like this, this and taxes. So whenever I get

269
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:46,280
Speaker 1: a number from them like this is your gross for

270
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:50,000
Speaker 1: the weekend, I just go, that is gross. That's obscene

271
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,880
Speaker 1: amount of money. That's for me just blathering on stage.

272
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,560
Speaker 1: I'm I understand. I try to give people a good

273
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,719
Speaker 1: show because I understand how much they're paying for tickets now,

274
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,439
Speaker 1: and I I feel and deserving of it. But I'm

275
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,400
Speaker 1: I'm working towards making a show that even if I suck,

276
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:06,400
Speaker 1: you will still have a good time. That's like my

277
00:14:06,480 --> 00:14:11,760
Speaker 1: goal because I'm insecure about my talent gaining security as

278
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:13,640
Speaker 1: every day as I go, because I'm actually gonna get

279
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:15,640
Speaker 1: security because I'm a little scared of people that actually

280
00:14:15,679 --> 00:14:18,679
Speaker 1: think I'm talented being uh no, I'm just kidding. That

281
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:21,400
Speaker 1: was just a weird rim, but uh I might need

282
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:24,040
Speaker 1: security down the line. And then that's another chunk. Let

283
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:28,360
Speaker 1: me just say, when I hear the big number, UM,

284
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:33,320
Speaker 1: I never ever go I made this this weekend, what

285
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:38,960
Speaker 1: I do is I split it in half. And because

286
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:44,160
Speaker 1: my my agent manager takes a cut and then taxes, right,

287
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,680
Speaker 1: so I split it in half, and then I then

288
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:48,560
Speaker 1: I add a little because let's say, like it's probably

289
00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:53,320
Speaker 1: like forty five cent is not mine. I'll never see it.

290
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,200
Speaker 1: It was never mine. So for someone to tell me

291
00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:58,600
Speaker 1: I made this much this weekend, I never go I

292
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,400
Speaker 1: made that much ever. And when I was someone, when

293
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,800
Speaker 1: I look at my um, the any of them, like

294
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,720
Speaker 1: the money I made for f White Island, split it

295
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,760
Speaker 1: in half and then maybe split that in half too,

296
00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:12,520
Speaker 1: after all the expenses, you know, And so when I

297
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:16,200
Speaker 1: did the math, now I'm not joking you. Working like

298
00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:19,360
Speaker 1: the DC improv and selling out six shows there over

299
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:23,320
Speaker 1: three nights in a small room versus two shows in

300
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:28,840
Speaker 1: a theater in one city. I made more money in

301
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:31,320
Speaker 1: DC and and let me be okay, that's more work,

302
00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,000
Speaker 1: that's more days. I have to get in on a

303
00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:37,200
Speaker 1: Wednesday to press on Wednesday morning or Thursday morning, Friday morning,

304
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,360
Speaker 1: and then I fly out on Sunday. I don't hate

305
00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:43,320
Speaker 1: staying extra days. I actually liked that because now flying

306
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,840
Speaker 1: into a city and then flying out the next day,

307
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:47,680
Speaker 1: it's really taxing. But I made more money. And then

308
00:15:47,760 --> 00:15:51,800
Speaker 1: because all I was paying for was Andrew to open

309
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,160
Speaker 1: for me, and then also tipping out the wait staff

310
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:58,640
Speaker 1: generously um and then also my managerin agent took a chunk.

311
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:02,840
Speaker 1: But like I didn't have a lot of other things

312
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,680
Speaker 1: like Andrew got put up in the hotel by the club.

313
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:07,320
Speaker 1: I didn't have to pay for that now, and it's

314
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,680
Speaker 1: it's funny like it all kind of equals out, like

315
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,680
Speaker 1: I'm not making more money actually from this is that?

316
00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:14,800
Speaker 1: Does that mean that I shouldn't do a theater tour?

317
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,560
Speaker 1: Not to me, because the reason I'm doing, the reason

318
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,680
Speaker 1: I walk away with less money is not because that's

319
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,720
Speaker 1: just the way it is. It's because I've designed it

320
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:26,200
Speaker 1: that way because I want to make it an enjoyable experience,

321
00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:28,560
Speaker 1: like I want to pay for this to be as

322
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,800
Speaker 1: easy for me as possible. My assistant Gen takes care

323
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,480
Speaker 1: of all my bullshit, so I don't have to ever

324
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,080
Speaker 1: deal with any like paperwork or dealing, you know, like

325
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,080
Speaker 1: there's things that make it now. It's it's it's very

326
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:45,920
Speaker 1: enjoyable for me. However, it is taxing in terms of

327
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:51,160
Speaker 1: the travel, and um that really just the travel. That's

328
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:53,160
Speaker 1: the only thing that I can't pay someone to do

329
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,840
Speaker 1: for me is to like travel, And sometimes I wish

330
00:16:55,840 --> 00:17:00,320
Speaker 1: I could pay people to pay for me. Honestly, Um,

331
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,280
Speaker 1: the thing is, it's worth it. And I was talking

332
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,000
Speaker 1: to Anna about this and she's like, well, babe, maybe

333
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,320
Speaker 1: we can work on cutting costs somewhere because this doesn't

334
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,320
Speaker 1: seem right, And I go, no, I don't want to

335
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,919
Speaker 1: because I want everyone that works for me to be

336
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,840
Speaker 1: compensated enough that they feel good about it. And I

337
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,960
Speaker 1: also want to make it fun because yeah, I could

338
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,280
Speaker 1: not have Andrew and Anya open for me and just

339
00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,400
Speaker 1: get a local person that would do a great job.

340
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:26,000
Speaker 1: I could not have a tour manager who I really

341
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,960
Speaker 1: love and pay him. I could pay him probably half

342
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,439
Speaker 1: of what he's I could base on one half of

343
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,960
Speaker 1: what I'm paying him, and he'd feel okay about it

344
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,919
Speaker 1: because people are so hard up for work, like I

345
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,440
Speaker 1: could take advantage of that. And I'm not saying I'm

346
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,159
Speaker 1: like some kind of fucking hero. By the way, I'm

347
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,320
Speaker 1: not paying them like I'm sure my tour manager would

348
00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:44,280
Speaker 1: listen to this and be like, uh no, one would

349
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,000
Speaker 1: do it for half of what I make, bitch. But

350
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:51,200
Speaker 1: I want I want to just only do work that's

351
00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:55,199
Speaker 1: fun from now on, only work that's fun. And I

352
00:17:55,280 --> 00:18:00,760
Speaker 1: learned this weekend flying to Edmonton, three flights on the

353
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:04,040
Speaker 1: way there a fifteen hour travel day, delays along the

354
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:05,760
Speaker 1: whole way. I'm not complaining, by the way, I'm not

355
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:09,359
Speaker 1: complaining because I remember that Louis k clip where he

356
00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:11,520
Speaker 1: talks about the miracle flight. You don't get to complain

357
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:13,600
Speaker 1: about flying. You should be happy that you can fly

358
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:17,160
Speaker 1: through the air miraculously like a bird and get from

359
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,400
Speaker 1: one goes to the next in you know, five hours

360
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:24,240
Speaker 1: instead of you know, five years, and all the people

361
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,680
Speaker 1: with you would die. He has a great bit about

362
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:30,040
Speaker 1: that he did on Conan and in a special um

363
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,240
Speaker 1: and it changed the way I perceived that. So I

364
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,640
Speaker 1: never complained about air travel. But it was three flights there,

365
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:40,600
Speaker 1: three flights back and to do thirty minutes of comedy.

366
00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,000
Speaker 1: But it was worth it, you know why. It wouldn't

367
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,000
Speaker 1: have been worth it had I not been able to

368
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:48,600
Speaker 1: hang out with David Spade all weekend and his assistant Heather. Um.

369
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,560
Speaker 1: I made a new best friend in Heather. She's someone

370
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:53,439
Speaker 1: that you're gonna hear me talk about a lot. Just

371
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:57,399
Speaker 1: an instant like love at first uh site kind of

372
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:01,040
Speaker 1: thing with a friend. Um. But that made it worth it.

373
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:05,199
Speaker 1: It would if that wouldn't have happened, if it wouldn't

374
00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,480
Speaker 1: have been And the show itself was amazing. Everyone of

375
00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,520
Speaker 1: all the besties at the show in Edmonton, thank you

376
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 1: so much. There was some outside of the gate that

377
00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 1: couldn't get in that were screaming at me that where

378
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,919
Speaker 1: I waved too, I love you so much. There were

379
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,000
Speaker 1: ones waving in the audience. It looked like woodstock, and

380
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:19,600
Speaker 1: yet there were people waving to me that I knew

381
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:23,800
Speaker 1: were besties. Um. That made it all worth it. Um.

382
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,680
Speaker 1: But if it wasn't like that, I would have said

383
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 1: I will never go to Canada again, because I get

384
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,320
Speaker 1: so nervous going through customs. I feel like I'm a criminal.

385
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,560
Speaker 1: It stresses me out, and I would have like been like, okay, no,

386
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,560
Speaker 1: there's something recently that I put my foot down and

387
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,480
Speaker 1: I go, I'll never do that again. What was it?

388
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 1: Hold on, we'll get Andrew in here. Right after I

389
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:41,560
Speaker 1: figure out what it was, I just go. I learned

390
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,199
Speaker 1: my lesson. Oh yeah, I will never go on a

391
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,919
Speaker 1: girl's trip to a hotel and not google the place

392
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,639
Speaker 1: that i'm staying. Again, learn my lesson. You know that

393
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,040
Speaker 1: is not I mean, that does have something to do

394
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:58,280
Speaker 1: with money. Oh, let's get Andrew and your continued. Oh,

395
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 1: Marryan's there too, I got her. Hey, Andrew row Row, Yes,

396
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:07,640
Speaker 1: you're in. Oh they think you're here because I am

397
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:10,879
Speaker 1: talking to someone. Before I was just talking to myself.

398
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,960
Speaker 1: And now Marian, Marian, my dog thinks that someone's here.

399
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:20,040
Speaker 1: At Marian came here, you know. Uh. It's it's wild

400
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:24,960
Speaker 1: how she has healed. You, remember me? Can you hold

401
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 1: the scar up? I like to see it, even though

402
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:33,320
Speaker 1: even in person would be even better. But oh my god,

403
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:39,400
Speaker 1: wait what it's just it's what a cool scar. That's

404
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,200
Speaker 1: what I want my stab wound to look like. It's

405
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,679
Speaker 1: a great scar. And she's totally healed. She is like

406
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:50,120
Speaker 1: just as normal as ever. Look like she got bit

407
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:53,920
Speaker 1: by a shark. You know what's not a cool scar

408
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,560
Speaker 1: is the one that's on my knee after I surgically

409
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 1: removed the Did you go at it again? No, dude,

410
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:02,720
Speaker 1: because I was right, I got it out. I miss it.

411
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,040
Speaker 1: I'm mad I got it out. But you know what,

412
00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 1: I have a gigantic scar on my knee that, um

413
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:11,719
Speaker 1: people keep commenting on. I see it in photos like

414
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:16,639
Speaker 1: I have to go get get like laser surgery or

415
00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:19,359
Speaker 1: something like I need to get. And then the other

416
00:21:19,440 --> 00:21:25,840
Speaker 1: day I got surgery your own math surgery flat and

417
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:30,919
Speaker 1: not make a big like purple like lesion. Um. It

418
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,679
Speaker 1: looks way worse than it did when it was a

419
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 1: little ward, but you know what I had, I would

420
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,440
Speaker 1: do it again. That was so fun taking a scalpel

421
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 1: to this baby. And UM. The other day I told

422
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: my mom and her friend, who have designed our podcast studio,

423
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:46,960
Speaker 1: that I because her friend goes nicky, her beautiful legs

424
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:51,239
Speaker 1: have bruises all over them because they do. UM. But

425
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,280
Speaker 1: I think she was really looking at this thing that

426
00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,240
Speaker 1: looks like a bruise, but it's actually the scar from

427
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:58,560
Speaker 1: my work. Um, and I go, oh, now there's a

428
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:01,119
Speaker 1: scar from a work that I surgically remove myself with

429
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:05,879
Speaker 1: some scalpels I bought on Amazon. And she goes singles,

430
00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,320
Speaker 1: you know, you could use a banana peel for that,

431
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:10,159
Speaker 1: Like my mom and her were kind of like banana

432
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,879
Speaker 1: peels work to get off words. It's like it's like

433
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: an old home. If I do not try a banana

434
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,639
Speaker 1: peel to get rid of your work, I will. I

435
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:17,239
Speaker 1: can actually tell you how to get rid of one

436
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,400
Speaker 1: if you want to do it in a way that's

437
00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:21,399
Speaker 1: not with a scalpel, like there's other ways. Um. But

438
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,239
Speaker 1: it's so funny that she was like my mom goes,

439
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 1: NICKI next time he's a banana pule, and I go,

440
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 1: I would never do that because I don't want to

441
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,960
Speaker 1: get rid of it. I didn't really want to get

442
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:32,120
Speaker 1: rid of this thing. I miss it. And um, anyway,

443
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:35,760
Speaker 1: how's Chicago, how's Brenna. I mean, I do love that

444
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,919
Speaker 1: they were so chill, like they weren't surprised, like this

445
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,639
Speaker 1: is such a woman thing, Like I just get a

446
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,280
Speaker 1: banana peel and a cheese grater, like I mean, I

447
00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 1: think they were horrified by the fact that I cut

448
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 1: it off of the scalpel. You got a stitch kid

449
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,600
Speaker 1: to stitch yourself up. No, I don't want to do that.

450
00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:55,160
Speaker 1: See I I don't like that kind of surgery. If

451
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,920
Speaker 1: that got me off, I would be so happy because

452
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,760
Speaker 1: there's so many videos of that online. But there's not

453
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,840
Speaker 1: a lot of like digging out wart videos um as,

454
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,479
Speaker 1: you know, like there's just not the content that I

455
00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:09,640
Speaker 1: want as a ward. Heead just just not out there popping.

456
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:12,439
Speaker 1: People send me cists. Some I can't even say that

457
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:14,280
Speaker 1: word because I'm my busil line. And sorry if I'm

458
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,120
Speaker 1: sounding kind of list by today, but I gotta wear

459
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:22,320
Speaker 1: my BUSI line more like stringently because I need to

460
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,400
Speaker 1: get through it. I've been on this ship for five

461
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,719
Speaker 1: years now and it was supposed to be seven months

462
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:31,680
Speaker 1: when I originally got it in two thousand. You have

463
00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:40,880
Speaker 1: like the Gilligan Island of Mouth. Yeah, it was, Oh

464
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:44,560
Speaker 1: my god, that's so true. It's like I really this weekend,

465
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,960
Speaker 1: I was like popping them in or out, and David

466
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:52,199
Speaker 1: Spade was like, so, what's the deal with those? Why

467
00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 1: are you trying to fix? And I go, oh, it's

468
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:56,439
Speaker 1: just like this little tooth that I it's out a

469
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:57,960
Speaker 1: little bit more than the others. I was teased for

470
00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 1: having buck teeth as a kid. I can't stand the

471
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,000
Speaker 1: of one of my teeth being out more. I'm obsessed

472
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,520
Speaker 1: with it. They were breakup braces. I was trying to

473
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:05,480
Speaker 1: control things that were out of my control. I picked

474
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 1: braces and he goes. I think at some point you

475
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,960
Speaker 1: just like, are like, you just give up, because that's

476
00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,840
Speaker 1: so long to be wearing these fucking galleee trays on

477
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,480
Speaker 1: your It doesn't look good. I mean they are invisible,

478
00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 1: and sometimes people can't tell. They don't look better than

479
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: crooked teeth. Like six years of this, they're zero to sixty.

480
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 1: They're invisible in your mouth, and then they are the

481
00:24:29,920 --> 00:24:32,920
Speaker 1: most visible thing on the table when you take them

482
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:36,280
Speaker 1: out to eat with someone else, Like, they are insanely visible.

483
00:24:36,359 --> 00:24:39,960
Speaker 1: It's ridiculous how gross they are. And when you take

484
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,880
Speaker 1: them out, and I'm so used to taking them out

485
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 1: that I don't get you. Yeah, if you don't want

486
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: to hear the sound of it right now, it sounds

487
00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 1: Kirsten said it sounds or maybe it was you. Someone

488
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,400
Speaker 1: funnier than me said that it sounds like it's your

489
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:56,280
Speaker 1: back cracking. Was that you, Andrew? I don't know, but

490
00:24:56,359 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 1: yeah it does sound like like picture me cracking my

491
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 1: ac You know what else you can hear? You could

492
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:12,879
Speaker 1: hear just a drip of saliva. I know. I'm sorry

493
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: ephonic out there and did not want to hear that. Um.

494
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:22,400
Speaker 1: How is Chicago? Chicago? Chicago is great? Um, I've been

495
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 1: having a lot of sects, almost too much, you know,

496
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,320
Speaker 1: for me, it's just too much, um just making up

497
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,840
Speaker 1: for lost time. Let let me ask you about I mean,

498
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,480
Speaker 1: you couldn't get up there fast enough. I could tell

499
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 1: you were like really feeling the absence of your lady

500
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 1: before you went up there, like you were just jones

501
00:25:42,119 --> 00:25:50,280
Speaker 1: and for um some sex. I mean, how right when

502
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,840
Speaker 1: she she came home from work, she goes, I need

503
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:58,440
Speaker 1: to shower, and I go, no, you don't, Yeah, yeah

504
00:25:58,680 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: I I did. It is like, I'll tell you what

505
00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:04,200
Speaker 1: a long distance relationship, the first time you have sex,

506
00:26:04,680 --> 00:26:08,159
Speaker 1: it's almost worth the you know, month of cheating on

507
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 1: each other just getting Yeah. No, I I don't disagree

508
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 1: with you. I think that long distance relationships often last

509
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:23,239
Speaker 1: longer because of that heat you develop in that you

510
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:25,919
Speaker 1: miss each other, you know, and you can just stretch

511
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 1: out a relationship much longer than it would be. Now,

512
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,159
Speaker 1: you guys didn't start long distance, so you already know

513
00:26:30,280 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 1: that you actually would work if you lived in the

514
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 1: same city. You're not under this like delusion that you're

515
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 1: But don't you find when you're in a long distance Like,

516
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,440
Speaker 1: let's say I'm leaving in three days, let's not talk

517
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 1: about the departure on the first day. Like, let it,

518
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:48,960
Speaker 1: let's just have fun because you already are thinking about

519
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,679
Speaker 1: the goodbye, which is top you know, And it's like,

520
00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,000
Speaker 1: do you bring that up? You've dated a little bit

521
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:56,800
Speaker 1: long distance, Like do you do you talk about the

522
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:59,440
Speaker 1: sadness of leaving? I mean, dude, that's all I can

523
00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 1: think about. I can that's I can't enjoy meals because

524
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,639
Speaker 1: I know it's gonna be over. I can't enjoy UM

525
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,679
Speaker 1: series A like Finales because I know it's about to

526
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: be over. Like when I even on our trip, you

527
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:19,159
Speaker 1: can enjoy episode let's say you're all right days, you

528
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 1: can enjoy the first three days. Yeah, I think the

529
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 1: first the first three days of a trip of a vacation,

530
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 1: I don't think about the end at all. And then

531
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 1: I would say the last two or three days, depending

532
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:32,679
Speaker 1: on how long the trip is. Um when it starts

533
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 1: to go over the hump and you start to like

534
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 1: open your emails again and start thinking about like what's

535
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 1: it going to be like when I get home, and

536
00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:43,399
Speaker 1: like do I have food? They're like, that's when I

537
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,600
Speaker 1: start getting pretty depressed. And then it takes me out

538
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:47,119
Speaker 1: of the moment and I can't be in it anymore.

539
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:50,399
Speaker 1: I just gotta I just got a podcast sent to me.

540
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,880
Speaker 1: I do friend casts with my friends, where we send

541
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 1: each other podcasts about our lives, you know, and it's

542
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 1: just an easy way to catch up. And my friend

543
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,600
Speaker 1: recently just sent me a podcast I listened to this

544
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 1: morning and she was talking about like a time she

545
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:07,119
Speaker 1: was longing for of like when we're together, and she

546
00:28:07,240 --> 00:28:10,919
Speaker 1: was just like, you know, I just like look at

547
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:12,640
Speaker 1: pictures of it, or I like I am, I look

548
00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,440
Speaker 1: at footage and stuff, and I just I'm like thinking about, like, God,

549
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 1: I wish we could just go back to that, Like

550
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,360
Speaker 1: I just missed that so much. And I was doing

551
00:28:20,359 --> 00:28:24,040
Speaker 1: a podcast back to her today and I said that

552
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:28,080
Speaker 1: still exists, like that happened and it's still like when

553
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 1: someone dies, it's obviously like the saddest thing ever because

554
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 1: there's no more memories to be made. But like you

555
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 1: have the times that you did spend together, and and

556
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: I also like you still have those. I don't know

557
00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:41,920
Speaker 1: what I'm talking about, but what I did say was like,

558
00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: next time we are in a place like that where

559
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: we are all having like she was describing a moment.

560
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,560
Speaker 1: She was like, I wish we could just be in

561
00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 1: this one room when we were all giggling and blah blah,

562
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,320
Speaker 1: and I go, next time we are, let's really try

563
00:28:53,360 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: to sit in it and be like, God, this is

564
00:28:55,480 --> 00:29:00,160
Speaker 1: fucking good. God Like right now feels good. And and

565
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: then why don't we try when things are really bad

566
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: to treat them like we do about good things, which is, oh,

567
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 1: it's gonna go away. It's gonna go away soon, It's

568
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,640
Speaker 1: not gonna be this way forever. Why don't we ever

569
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:13,959
Speaker 1: when something when things are bad, I always go, this

570
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: is the way it is, and it's always going to

571
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 1: be this way. And when things are good, I go,

572
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,360
Speaker 1: this is gonna go away soon. So let's flip those

573
00:29:20,840 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: if we can. Um. So are you guys struggling with that? No? No,

574
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 1: I mean we're good. I just think the first day

575
00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 1: she was talking about it, and I was just like,

576
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,560
Speaker 1: why are we talking about this? Because she loves you

577
00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,680
Speaker 1: and you know, oh yeah, no, it's great, And if

578
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:35,080
Speaker 1: you don't talk about it, there's not going to be

579
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 1: a solution, you know what, Just put another time to

580
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:40,240
Speaker 1: see her on the books. If you have that, then

581
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,440
Speaker 1: there's no worry about parting ways because there's something to

582
00:29:43,480 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 1: look forward to. But I think that's the thing with

583
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:51,000
Speaker 1: long distances, like when as long as the high out,

584
00:29:51,200 --> 00:29:54,720
Speaker 1: like the beginning of seeing each other outweighs leaving each other,

585
00:29:55,280 --> 00:29:57,400
Speaker 1: they can still I think when they start to, like flip,

586
00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 1: is when it starts getting into um sustainable. I mean

587
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,560
Speaker 1: maybe it is for some people, but I find that

588
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,520
Speaker 1: there is a The first couple of times are so magical,

589
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:12,480
Speaker 1: and those first bangs when you see each other are

590
00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: just great. But then by the end of the week,

591
00:30:14,640 --> 00:30:16,920
Speaker 1: like you're there a week, like you just start kind

592
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 1: of going like, I know, there's this hot girl laying

593
00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: next to me that like I would a week ago

594
00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:26,440
Speaker 1: would have murdered my roommate to bang to even touch

595
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:30,160
Speaker 1: this person, And now like she's just she's hot and

596
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:34,280
Speaker 1: she's there and I'll fuck her but it's like, and dude,

597
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 1: I am obsessed. I'm not gonna get into it right now.

598
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:42,680
Speaker 1: I promise you. I am freaking obsessed with the book.

599
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 1: I picked it up again on my arduous journey to

600
00:30:45,840 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 1: Canada this week, which I traveled twenty seven hours in

601
00:30:49,840 --> 00:30:53,800
Speaker 1: three days in airports in planes. Cut your arm off,

602
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,680
Speaker 1: you know me? I I could have cutting that off

603
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:05,240
Speaker 1: in twenty seven seconds. I love I love a surgical uh.

604
00:31:05,440 --> 00:31:12,880
Speaker 1: I mean I really took off yet. That's for heads

605
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 1: out there. Ye, I've never even seen that movie, but

606
00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:17,960
Speaker 1: we get the reference. And I didn't even say a hundred.

607
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:19,760
Speaker 1: I said seven, and you just went with it, and

608
00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,000
Speaker 1: I like it. I think is the best age. I

609
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,480
Speaker 1: think that's also the age that a lot of people die. However,

610
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: I did pick up a book again. I'm starting to

611
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 1: read again because reading is a vacation for your mind.

612
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 1: It really is, like I just need to as much

613
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:36,800
Speaker 1: as when I get depressed, I know that I need

614
00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 1: to think outside myself and not and either call someone

615
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:44,600
Speaker 1: who could really use uh an ear to listen to

616
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:47,320
Speaker 1: their problems, like I need to be of service to someone,

617
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:50,000
Speaker 1: or I need to pick up a book and or

618
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 1: like jump into a show or something and escape and

619
00:31:53,320 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 1: make someone else's life or like ideas, um, like fill

620
00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:01,480
Speaker 1: the space that that mine are are like spiraling. So

621
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,240
Speaker 1: this weekend I was kind of spiraling about. I saw

622
00:32:04,240 --> 00:32:05,880
Speaker 1: a picture of myself that I just didn't know that

623
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 1: I looked like that. Um. I left the house thinking

624
00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 1: I looked way different. And then I saw an angle

625
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 1: and I was like, whoa, Um, that's different than I thought.

626
00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 1: So I started spiraling anyway. I decided, you got to

627
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:20,000
Speaker 1: read again, like immerse yourself in something interesting. So I

628
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 1: went through my e books in my phone and Noah,

629
00:32:24,160 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: you know what book I just decided to pick back

630
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 1: up again? And the answer is not getting do I do?

631
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: Even though that is a book that I recommend every

632
00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:38,520
Speaker 1: woman and man read um to understand attraction and uh,

633
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 1: you know, building intimacy and finding the right partner for

634
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:48,120
Speaker 1: yourself and boundaries and all that stuff. But cupids poisoned arrow. Noah,

635
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,120
Speaker 1: I'm listening. Um, I'm obsessed with it again. I started

636
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:57,800
Speaker 1: from the beginning because I you know, I always read it.

637
00:32:57,800 --> 00:33:02,680
Speaker 1: It's well you wish because it is not fiction at all.

638
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: It is a nonfiction book. And you've heard me talk

639
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: about it Andrew. I read this book back in like

640
00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:12,200
Speaker 1: two thousand nine eighteen, I'm guessing, and I was obsessed

641
00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:13,719
Speaker 1: with it. I talked about it on my show You

642
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:17,840
Speaker 1: Up all the Time, and um My serious show. Whitney

643
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:20,920
Speaker 1: Cummings recommended this book to me, as she did getting too,

644
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:25,040
Speaker 1: I do, and Me and Noah and Anya became obsessed

645
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 1: with cubids Poisoned Arrow, which is a book about um

646
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:33,480
Speaker 1: orgasms and how they destroy relationships and and women and

647
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:39,520
Speaker 1: women and men like it is. The research is so compelling,

648
00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:42,440
Speaker 1: the way this woman presents her argument, like I'm also

649
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 1: reading a book about codependence and narcissists and how they

650
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 1: attract each other and how unless you heal your codependence,

651
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:52,479
Speaker 1: you will always be magnetized to a narcissist, which I

652
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:55,240
Speaker 1: find over and over is like you will never love

653
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,960
Speaker 1: another code dependent, You'll always love a narcissist. It happens

654
00:33:58,000 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: over and over again. It's fascinating. It's called the Human

655
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,640
Speaker 1: agnet Syndrome. Is the book that was recommended to me,

656
00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:04,880
Speaker 1: I think by a bestie, and it's the way he

657
00:34:04,880 --> 00:34:07,280
Speaker 1: writes just doesn't grip me as much. And it isn't

658
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:09,439
Speaker 1: this the evidence is all there, but it's just not

659
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 1: the way. It's not presented in a way that I

660
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 1: can recommend it to my friends and know they're going

661
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 1: to stick through it. If you read cub It's poison

662
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:21,160
Speaker 1: arrow I. I I am imploring besties to just download

663
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,359
Speaker 1: the sample and read the first hundred pages on your

664
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:27,360
Speaker 1: phone or whatever. First twenty pages. Hundred pages for me

665
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: is like five pages, because I have the thought so big.

666
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,759
Speaker 1: But and tell me that you aren't compelled by the

667
00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:36,480
Speaker 1: research and the anecdotal evidence and the case studies. Um.

668
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:41,000
Speaker 1: It's basically saying that the reason that relationships fail is

669
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 1: because we're having too many orgasms. Orgasms. And I thought

670
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 1: of you, Andrew, not because of your relationship, but because

671
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:51,959
Speaker 1: one of the opening arguments that I missed the first

672
00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:55,840
Speaker 1: time I read it is why do friends? Why do

673
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,840
Speaker 1: deep friendships never seem to fall apart? But the second

674
00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:04,319
Speaker 1: um that the second you get into a relationship, that

675
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: the relationships fall apart. Why is that the relationships have

676
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:14,400
Speaker 1: such shorter and more frequent turnaround and shelf life? It's sex.

677
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 1: It's sex, and that is the problem. Because Andrew, you

678
00:35:18,160 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 1: and I have we if you take out the if

679
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,840
Speaker 1: you if you look at our relationship and our friendship

680
00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:27,359
Speaker 1: which I have with anyone that i'm I'm roommates with

681
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,120
Speaker 1: that I'm like. When On and I lived together, it

682
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,920
Speaker 1: was like a relationship, except we didn't touch each other

683
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 1: and have sex. Like, there's there's nothing about you and

684
00:35:35,880 --> 00:35:39,160
Speaker 1: me that would like aside from the fact that we

685
00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:41,839
Speaker 1: don't touch each other and have sex, that is really

686
00:35:41,840 --> 00:35:44,000
Speaker 1: that different from a relationship. And I would say that

687
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,799
Speaker 1: for all of my best friends, but especially because we

688
00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 1: live together. You know, That's why I'm giving that example.

689
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 1: But uh, why is it that we can maintain friendships

690
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:56,239
Speaker 1: and really rarely have falling out with friends? I mean,

691
00:35:56,280 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 1: it does happen, but the relationships always fall apart. And

692
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:04,800
Speaker 1: the answer is sex. The answer is sex. And you

693
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:08,160
Speaker 1: might say, no, it's jealousy, and it's like, you know, monogamy,

694
00:36:08,360 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 1: that's a whole other thing. Why are we allowed to

695
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:11,719
Speaker 1: have Why am I allowed to have a shelf of

696
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 1: best friends and my other best friends don't get jealous

697
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 1: of those best friends, But yet I can't keep a

698
00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 1: shelf of lovers. I don't want to keep a shelf

699
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:23,000
Speaker 1: of lovers. But why? Why? Why jealousy? Why this? Uh?

700
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:27,320
Speaker 1: Treating properly I guess that's why relationships where you start

701
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 1: as friends and then you maybe add sex later those

702
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:36,319
Speaker 1: apart two She She cites that as like, that's because

703
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:38,040
Speaker 1: I was even thinking about you, because people are always

704
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 1: like where to ways to go through whatever, And I'm like,

705
00:36:40,719 --> 00:36:43,719
Speaker 1: you think it would work based on how close we are,

706
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:46,400
Speaker 1: But that's because we're friends, and because we don't have sex,

707
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:50,239
Speaker 1: that's why we're gonna last. It's like if we if

708
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: I was best friends, people started, but a lot of

709
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,880
Speaker 1: people get divorced after they stopped fucking a lot, you

710
00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Like, so there's a lot of relationship.

711
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,719
Speaker 1: This isn't about stopping having sex. By the way, not

712
00:37:03,840 --> 00:37:08,120
Speaker 1: having orgasms is not It's actually more sex, more for play,

713
00:37:08,160 --> 00:37:12,640
Speaker 1: more intimacy, more cuddling, more slow building of sex. It's

714
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 1: no orgasm. So people always go but Nikki, I like sex.

715
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,680
Speaker 1: It's like, no, you're gonna have more, but it's just

716
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,840
Speaker 1: no orgasm because orgasms are for procreation and when you

717
00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:26,040
Speaker 1: have an orgasm. And this is my final thought of

718
00:37:26,080 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: this spiel, and I'll be talking about this a lot

719
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,319
Speaker 1: because I'm actually going to finish this book and try

720
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:34,080
Speaker 1: to remember I'm highlighting things. I'm studying this book the

721
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,440
Speaker 1: way that uh, you know, I would if I was

722
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:39,000
Speaker 1: had a final exam coming up in a nightmare that

723
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 1: I have last night actually where I was trying to

724
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: get to class. But the final thing is that the

725
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:49,520
Speaker 1: blanket statement here is that orgasms are things that are

726
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:55,640
Speaker 1: made to have to procreate, and one percent of couples

727
00:37:55,680 --> 00:38:00,560
Speaker 1: having sex, let's say one that's probably uh generous, are

728
00:38:00,600 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 1: trying to conceive a baby. So why are we all

729
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:08,520
Speaker 1: doing something that only one percent of people relationships are

730
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,919
Speaker 1: actually trying to do what it was meant to do.

731
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:13,160
Speaker 1: It would be like there was a great example in

732
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 1: the book. It would be like, um, having like birthday

733
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 1: cake every single night of your life because it's it's

734
00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 1: a thing you can do when really only one person,

735
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 1: less than one percent, one out of three sixty five

736
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:31,920
Speaker 1: are really having a birthday that day and deserve the

737
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:34,840
Speaker 1: cake like you don't. Just because it feels good and

738
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 1: it's what you want does not mean it's making your

739
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,640
Speaker 1: life better if we did everything that felt good because

740
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 1: people go, I love orgasms through all I live, I

741
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:46,799
Speaker 1: love them. The research states that after you come, you

742
00:38:46,840 --> 00:38:49,719
Speaker 1: get depressed, you get anxious, you get clingy. This is

743
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,520
Speaker 1: for a woman in the two weeks following. There's bliss

744
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,800
Speaker 1: for a day up to two or three days after,

745
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:59,320
Speaker 1: and then it plummets and you get anxious, clingy, depressed.

746
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:03,839
Speaker 1: For men in instantly after an orgasm, they want something new.

747
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:08,000
Speaker 1: There's a study with rats where a rat is uh

748
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:10,399
Speaker 1: put into a cage with a female rat and he's

749
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:14,280
Speaker 1: horny as fuck and they funk a lot. I'm so hot.

750
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 1: Both both rats are super hot. But actually that's true

751
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:20,920
Speaker 1: because they pumped the woman with hormones that make her

752
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 1: having like spray, yeah, like her asshole smells good, you know,

753
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:27,480
Speaker 1: whatever it is. They pump her with hormones so that

754
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,360
Speaker 1: she's super hot to this rat. So listen to the

755
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 1: s Andrew the rat fox and fox and bucks. The

756
00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:36,319
Speaker 1: male rat populate, they make, they make, they have a

757
00:39:36,320 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 1: ton of sacks. The brat jes is and then the

758
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 1: rat passes out in the corner from being tired from exhaustion.

759
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 1: And then the female rat is still going like come on,

760
00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,440
Speaker 1: because she's pumped with hormones more and more, and the

761
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,960
Speaker 1: male rat is just like, oh, you know, I gotta

762
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 1: get up early, and I'm just like I just don't

763
00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,640
Speaker 1: feel good. I think I ate too much, and like,

764
00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,359
Speaker 1: you know, just kind of like you. Maybe let's watch

765
00:39:59,400 --> 00:40:01,839
Speaker 1: her favorite show. It's like on TikTok or whatever. And

766
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:05,239
Speaker 1: then they take that female rat out. And this is

767
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,720
Speaker 1: right after the male rat is sleeping and pushing the

768
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:10,720
Speaker 1: female that he just sucked out. They take that female

769
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 1: out and they put in a new female that's pumped

770
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: with the same hormones that female has. Guess who's ready

771
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:20,839
Speaker 1: to go again right away? That fucking rat. It wasn't

772
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,720
Speaker 1: about not wanting to funk anymore and that he was exhausted.

773
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:25,880
Speaker 1: It was about he didn't want to funk the same

774
00:40:25,920 --> 00:40:30,120
Speaker 1: thing because he already came in it when men cam rats,

775
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:38,880
Speaker 1: Let's get to the news. Wait. I have a question though, Fine,

776
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:41,719
Speaker 1: we'll be talking about this all this week. I just

777
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:43,800
Speaker 1: want our muskies to read Cuban's poison Arrow, and I

778
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:46,040
Speaker 1: would love to hear what you think about it. Okay,

779
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:52,960
Speaker 1: all right, you're already here. First, folks, no one's allowed

780
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 1: to come until Nikki said so, uh, which probably you're

781
00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 1: probably gonna die with coming. I don't want to have

782
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 1: orgasms anymore, I really don't. I'm not doing it. I'm

783
00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 1: going to test it, okay, but as a guy, you

784
00:41:06,160 --> 00:41:08,840
Speaker 1: need to come twenty one times to keep your prostate healthy.

785
00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:14,120
Speaker 1: What do you say to that? Um bullshit? I think

786
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:17,120
Speaker 1: it's the same as like circumcision. You gotta do it

787
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:21,839
Speaker 1: because well, there's dirt in your foreskin. It's just like,

788
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 1: shut up, you just it's religion. It's dumb, and it's

789
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 1: for esthetic purposes. And we've we've glamorized a circumcised dick

790
00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,360
Speaker 1: and now everyone's making scientific arguments for it, and it's just, yeah,

791
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,160
Speaker 1: maybe they get infected more often if there's a You

792
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,440
Speaker 1: just need to teach a baby and a man proper hygiene,

793
00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 1: and I think that would solve it rather than having

794
00:41:41,760 --> 00:41:44,279
Speaker 1: to slice the baby's dick open seconds after it was

795
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 1: Can you can you come on your own? So if

796
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:51,520
Speaker 1: you're in a relationship, you can't come on your own either.

797
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: The thing is like, I'm not even joking you. I

798
00:41:54,719 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 1: stopped smoking weed a week ago and for me weed.

799
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,040
Speaker 1: And by the way, they've done brain scans from and

800
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:03,400
Speaker 1: who have orgasms and the same an orgasm is not

801
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 1: a penis event or a genital event. It is a

802
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 1: brain event. And when they do scans of brains for

803
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 1: men having orgasms, the parts of the brain that light up.

804
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 1: It looks exactly like a heroin addict shooting up, and

805
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: it's a drug. You you have a disease that follows

806
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:25,680
Speaker 1: an orgasm. The depression, the anxiety that follows an orgasm

807
00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 1: then makes you want to have another orgasm to fill it.

808
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:30,080
Speaker 1: So when I stopped smoking weed a week ago, the

809
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:32,879
Speaker 1: anxiety I had of not smoking weed made me want

810
00:42:32,880 --> 00:42:36,919
Speaker 1: to smoke weed. But I worked through it and now

811
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:38,920
Speaker 1: I don't have I don't have that urge anymore. So

812
00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:40,640
Speaker 1: it's it would be tough at the beginning to not

813
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:43,440
Speaker 1: have orgasms. And she in this book, she presents a

814
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,799
Speaker 1: type of love making that you can have that is

815
00:42:46,840 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 1: without orgasm. That I haven't gotten to that part, so

816
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:50,880
Speaker 1: I don't know what the sex looks like without orgasm.

817
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,759
Speaker 1: Noah definitely read the book and knows it's called Careza.

818
00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 1: But um, we'll get into it later. Let's get to

819
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 1: the news. What's the first story? All right? First story?

820
00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: First of all, I hope having all the swells out there,

821
00:43:01,239 --> 00:43:06,879
Speaker 1: yet a great common phrases people constantly get wrong and

822
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 1: how to say them correctly? Wait, can I guess some

823
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 1: of her some of these all intense and all intensive purposes.

824
00:43:15,640 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 1: That's literally the first one. Yep, that's the one that

825
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 1: everyone always gets wrong. It's for all intense intensive purposes.

826
00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:29,799
Speaker 1: What should it be all intense and purposes? Yes, not intensive.

827
00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,600
Speaker 1: I mean that's wild, it's not wild. It's like it's

828
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 1: just such a common one. I think it might seem

829
00:43:39,160 --> 00:43:41,360
Speaker 1: like I am blowing your mind right now, but that

830
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:43,120
Speaker 1: that's just the one that happens all the time. What's

831
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:44,839
Speaker 1: what's number two? And that's the only one I got.

832
00:43:44,840 --> 00:43:48,879
Speaker 1: I could, I could care less. Oh, I could care less.

833
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:52,480
Speaker 1: I couldn't care less. If you could care less, then

834
00:43:52,520 --> 00:43:56,640
Speaker 1: it's not then it's something that yes, I couldn't care less.

835
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,040
Speaker 1: But you know what, I could care less works for

836
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 1: me if you mean that you actually could care less

837
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 1: about something. And the truth is when people say I

838
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: could I couldn't care less, Yes you could. There are

839
00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:10,640
Speaker 1: things that are more boring, so I could care less,

840
00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 1: it is actually more accurate because you can. When people go,

841
00:44:13,120 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 1: I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, I go,

842
00:44:16,040 --> 00:44:19,880
Speaker 1: you wouldn't wish be your flight being delayed seven hours

843
00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 1: on your worst enemy. Your worst enemy is probably for me,

844
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,520
Speaker 1: it's Trump. I'd wish that on him, you know, like

845
00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 1: that's that's a phrase that actually doesn't or this is

846
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:31,280
Speaker 1: the best barbecue. It's the best barbecue in the world.

847
00:44:31,600 --> 00:44:33,440
Speaker 1: Have you tried all the barbecue in the world. You

848
00:44:33,480 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 1: can't say that you don't know it's the best barbebecue

849
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 1: I've tried in the world. Yes. You know when my

850
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 1: stepbrother his joke, his big joke, Jake the Snake, he'd

851
00:44:43,480 --> 00:44:48,759
Speaker 1: always go his existence, Yes, spaghetti for dinner, and he'd go, man,

852
00:44:48,920 --> 00:44:51,840
Speaker 1: it's the best spaghetti I had all day. That's cute,

853
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,840
Speaker 1: Like it's the only spaghetti you had today, Jake. I

854
00:44:54,920 --> 00:44:57,440
Speaker 1: like that joke. I had a dream about you and

855
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,960
Speaker 1: your brother's last night. I had a dream about you

856
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 1: least what Yeah was there and a dog almost got

857
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 1: hit And then I screamed in my sleep and Brenna

858
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,400
Speaker 1: was awake. When I screamed, it was so embarrassed. I'm

859
00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 1: telling you about no orgasms. It sounded like I had

860
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 1: one alright ready. When people hear you wake up from

861
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:24,920
Speaker 1: your nightmare, oh my god, I went, I went, I go,

862
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,040
Speaker 1: can you do the sound? And that's what she goes. Yeah,

863
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 1: you were like humiliating. I once was in a tent

864
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,200
Speaker 1: with my mom and sister on a camping droom and

865
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,200
Speaker 1: I remember having a dream that I was like in

866
00:45:37,200 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 1: a miss American vageant and they are just I heard

867
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,080
Speaker 1: them kind of like stirring. I was like half awake,

868
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:46,239
Speaker 1: and I woke myself up saying my name is Nicky Glazer,

869
00:45:46,360 --> 00:45:55,040
Speaker 1: Like I was saying, all this is embarrassing because when

870
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 1: my dad told us about having a wet dream in

871
00:45:58,320 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 1: front of this family as they were watching TV as

872
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:04,360
Speaker 1: a kid, I mean, that's got to be the worst.

873
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:07,160
Speaker 1: You guys best to send us in voice memos of

874
00:46:07,239 --> 00:46:09,839
Speaker 1: things you've said in the company of others when you're

875
00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:12,160
Speaker 1: sleeping or waking up from a nightmare that are embarrassing.

876
00:46:12,239 --> 00:46:14,080
Speaker 1: I would love to hear them because they make They're

877
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,359
Speaker 1: already making me laugh just thinking about what I thought

878
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,080
Speaker 1: a dog was about to get hit by a truck

879
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:21,279
Speaker 1: one of the toy poodles I used to watch. I

880
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: forgot that dreams are interesting. So let's get back to Okay,

881
00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:28,160
Speaker 1: let's nip this in the butt. Oh, nip this in

882
00:46:28,200 --> 00:46:33,240
Speaker 1: the bud? Yes, yeah, as in take action to stop

883
00:46:33,239 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 1: a bud from growing into a full flower. I thought

884
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 1: that's what it was. Okay, let's do it. Give me more,

885
00:46:39,280 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 1: give me, give me more. Do a three sixty, Yeah,

886
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:46,239
Speaker 1: you're gonna do. If you do a three sixty, you're

887
00:46:46,280 --> 00:46:48,120
Speaker 1: gonna end up right where you are. Yeah. I did

888
00:46:48,120 --> 00:46:50,880
Speaker 1: a complete three sixty, and let me let me guess.

889
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:54,920
Speaker 1: Drum roll for one that definitely has to make it literally.

890
00:46:57,000 --> 00:47:02,239
Speaker 1: I don't see literally, So you're wrong. It's so embarrassing

891
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:04,640
Speaker 1: and I gotta stop doing it. But I say literally

892
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 1: a lot, and it's well, we'll say what what what

893
00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:11,160
Speaker 1: should you say? Literally? Not say it because it's not literal.

894
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 1: You know when people go it's said like I've heard

895
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:16,960
Speaker 1: Oprah a lot of times ago, and it's sent literal

896
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:20,480
Speaker 1: shock waves through the nation. It's like, unless you're talking

897
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:24,799
Speaker 1: about an atomic explosion, there's nothing that literally send shock

898
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:32,440
Speaker 1: waves through the nation. Yeah yeah, but metaphorically, yeah, yeah,

899
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:34,480
Speaker 1: you should just say shock. Yeah, you can say it's

900
00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,640
Speaker 1: sent shockwaves through the nation. You don't need to say literally,

901
00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:39,920
Speaker 1: because then that that makes that presents uh, you know,

902
00:47:40,200 --> 00:47:44,440
Speaker 1: like it's going to be literally could have? Well this

903
00:47:44,560 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 1: said should should be could have and should have should

904
00:47:48,520 --> 00:47:50,319
Speaker 1: have should have? I used to have a problem with

905
00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:54,359
Speaker 1: this should have and yeah, I think that's okay. How

906
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,640
Speaker 1: should have like I'm thinking of should have as in

907
00:47:57,760 --> 00:48:02,120
Speaker 1: should apostrophe the and I think that is proper, like

908
00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:05,759
Speaker 1: to combine them and do use it. But should have

909
00:48:06,600 --> 00:48:09,239
Speaker 1: on like when I see I should have done this

910
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:12,319
Speaker 1: or could have? Yeah, that's wrong. Okay, let's keep going.

911
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:17,800
Speaker 1: I love these. First come, first serve. The first person

912
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,920
Speaker 1: to arrive will be the first person. Wait, hold on,

913
00:48:20,040 --> 00:48:25,799
Speaker 1: first come, first served. Yes, okay, we'll get the next

914
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:31,520
Speaker 1: one unless here. Okay, Dog eat Dog World, Dog Eat

915
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:36,040
Speaker 1: Dog World, dog a Dog eat Dog World, Dog eat

916
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:44,640
Speaker 1: Dog Yes, Dog Eat Dog World. We don't need to

917
00:48:44,680 --> 00:48:47,360
Speaker 1: define them. Yeah, they keep doing them. Just let's listen

918
00:48:47,400 --> 00:48:50,520
Speaker 1: out and let me just like want of the same. Oh,

919
00:48:50,560 --> 00:48:56,799
Speaker 1: that's it, okay, next story the dog World. Yeah, I

920
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 1: mean you should have jumped to the next one. So

921
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,560
Speaker 1: should have. Ohh that's right, that's right. Listen, you pulled

922
00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:12,719
Speaker 1: a real three six Okay, alright, next door? I miss you, Brad,

923
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 1: I'm still here. Okay. A New York City subway driver

924
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:19,400
Speaker 1: is in trouble after letting his girlfriend conduct the D

925
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: train for several stops, and she posted the photos on Instagram.

926
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 1: I mean, what an idiot. And the people that run

927
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 1: the train systems are generally so um well trained and

928
00:49:32,600 --> 00:49:36,280
Speaker 1: like really take their job very seriously. And I respect

929
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:40,480
Speaker 1: the m t A transit people. I guess that's saying

930
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:43,400
Speaker 1: like a t M machine. I respect m t A

931
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 1: so much. And you know there's always like if you

932
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:48,759
Speaker 1: strike an if you assault an empty employee, you will

933
00:49:48,800 --> 00:49:55,719
Speaker 1: spend eternity in prison. And uh, this guy, I mean,

934
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, it just kind of reminds me of

935
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 1: I was on a private jet this weekend. I want

936
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 1: to say I could have I could have, um, but

937
00:50:07,400 --> 00:50:09,759
Speaker 1: I didn't because the cockpit it was so weird to

938
00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:12,040
Speaker 1: see the cockpit opened, the door open. I wanted them

939
00:50:12,080 --> 00:50:14,759
Speaker 1: to close it just in case David Spade decided to,

940
00:50:15,719 --> 00:50:18,840
Speaker 1: you know, hijack everyone like I. I just wanted it

941
00:50:18,880 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: close so that and I'm not even joking you. At

942
00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 1: one point, we I gotta he's not a picture. I'm

943
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,200
Speaker 1: gonna ask if we can post on our story. Noah,

944
00:50:28,200 --> 00:50:29,920
Speaker 1: police follow up with me to get this because I

945
00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:31,759
Speaker 1: always promised things are gonna post our story and I

946
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,080
Speaker 1: never do it. And I apologize to besties because I

947
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:37,680
Speaker 1: want you to be able to see these things. At

948
00:50:37,719 --> 00:50:40,279
Speaker 1: one point, he sends a picture to me and his

949
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 1: assistant other while the plate while we're flying, and he

950
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,120
Speaker 1: was like, and we thought it was photoshop because it

951
00:50:45,239 --> 00:50:48,759
Speaker 1: shows the pilots showing each other a clipboard and it

952
00:50:48,840 --> 00:50:50,840
Speaker 1: has like a graph on it, you know what. It

953
00:50:50,920 --> 00:50:53,520
Speaker 1: looks like they're like looking at coordinates and it's a

954
00:50:53,520 --> 00:50:57,000
Speaker 1: graph that has like it's this thing that's been circulating

955
00:50:57,000 --> 00:50:59,600
Speaker 1: around like a meme where it's like is this a

956
00:50:59,680 --> 00:51:03,359
Speaker 1: rap it or a duck? And they are looking at

957
00:51:03,360 --> 00:51:06,080
Speaker 1: it and it looks like they're like sharing cord, Like

958
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 1: it looks like they're like talking about the flight plan,

959
00:51:08,560 --> 00:51:11,520
Speaker 1: but it is. They are both talking about whether it's

960
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 1: a duck or a bunny. And I'm like, this is

961
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:15,839
Speaker 1: why we close the door, because this is what they're

962
00:51:15,840 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 1: all doing up there, and we don't need to see

963
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:20,520
Speaker 1: this ship. But I could have sat on their lap.

964
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 1: And and did she actually have the controls of it?

965
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:28,720
Speaker 1: Do we do we see her? Was it her birthday? Also?

966
00:51:28,880 --> 00:51:32,000
Speaker 1: She's hot. He's trying to get laid. I mean, he's

967
00:51:32,040 --> 00:51:35,640
Speaker 1: trying to impress her. It's can't be that hard um

968
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:39,240
Speaker 1: to to hit go and stop and then someone's telling

969
00:51:39,280 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 1: you like, it's not that it was take your girlfriend

970
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:46,120
Speaker 1: to work day. Then we forget that he does make

971
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:51,400
Speaker 1: thousand a year, as they should. And after you know,

972
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:53,480
Speaker 1: after my monogue at the top, let's be honest, he's

973
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:58,239
Speaker 1: walking away with one thousand when all of a sudden done.

974
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:01,919
Speaker 1: I'm guessing no one when you present a salary, cut

975
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:04,480
Speaker 1: it in half and then take a little bit more away.

976
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:07,800
Speaker 1: Here's the problem. What if she just let him come

977
00:52:07,840 --> 00:52:10,440
Speaker 1: in the morning, she never would have drove that train.

978
00:52:12,120 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. So you're saying that to protect the New

979
00:52:15,600 --> 00:52:20,560
Speaker 1: York City public met women need to let their guys come. Yes,

980
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:24,560
Speaker 1: that is maybe chapter and there isn't a dendum to

981
00:52:24,600 --> 00:52:27,359
Speaker 1: a cubic poison arrow that says you can come if

982
00:52:27,400 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 1: you are a d train operator and the fact that

983
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 1: you don't come might lead you to give your girlfriend

984
00:52:32,760 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 1: the responsibilities of driving your train. Okay, you know what

985
00:52:35,600 --> 00:52:42,640
Speaker 1: it's time for, Andrew a short brain. Let's get to

986
00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:48,040
Speaker 1: why do I care? Why do I care? All? Right? Uh?

987
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 1: That Nicole Brown says that deodoran list Matthew McConaughey smells

988
00:52:53,560 --> 00:52:57,080
Speaker 1: like granola. So as we know, a lot of people

989
00:52:57,200 --> 00:52:59,840
Speaker 1: a lot of celebrities are in the news for not showering,

990
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:03,480
Speaker 1: not letting their kids shower. Apparently, Matthew McConaughey was quoted

991
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:07,080
Speaker 1: as saying that he doesn't wear deodorant, so this actress

992
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:11,720
Speaker 1: really smelled him really hard and said that he smelled great.

993
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:14,759
Speaker 1: That he smells like this is more of his run

994
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 1: of becoming president. You know, it's just this is the

995
00:53:17,520 --> 00:53:21,160
Speaker 1: press machine trying to get the word out. Um, I

996
00:53:21,239 --> 00:53:23,680
Speaker 1: don't care about this at all. I'm so tired of

997
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:28,280
Speaker 1: I don't even I don't. Of course, he smells like granola.

998
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:33,799
Speaker 1: He looks like he does. And yeah, I don't know.

999
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 1: I feel like even it was when Brenna was like,

1000
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,359
Speaker 1: I need to shower, and you still wanted to suck her,

1001
00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:40,719
Speaker 1: like you probably smelled Brenna when she had b Oh,

1002
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:43,319
Speaker 1: it doesn't really like sicken you to the point that

1003
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,400
Speaker 1: she's unlovable. I mean, like we we aren't supposed to

1004
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:51,280
Speaker 1: not smell. I don't think, well, there is a hippie

1005
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 1: smell that if it isn't treated for long enough, it

1006
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:59,560
Speaker 1: does get pretty. I mean, humans can smell really fucking bad, right,

1007
00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:03,960
Speaker 1: you know, A month or two of not showering. But yeah,

1008
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:07,239
Speaker 1: if you shower and you know your armpits smell a

1009
00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 1: little bit, I think, yeah, I think you can overlook

1010
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:12,879
Speaker 1: it if you're fucking fucking Matthew McConaughey, Yeah, I think

1011
00:54:12,880 --> 00:54:18,000
Speaker 1: that it's yeah, it's probably I wanted to share. Rihanna

1012
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:22,160
Speaker 1: posted something the other day of all these people saying

1013
00:54:22,200 --> 00:54:25,719
Speaker 1: she smells good, and she said, like just saying it is.

1014
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,400
Speaker 1: Have you guys heard of how Rihanna smells good and

1015
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 1: how everyone says it, and it's like a thing. I

1016
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:34,200
Speaker 1: couldn't believe this. Hold on, let me find the clip. God,

1017
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,319
Speaker 1: she posts a lot perfume. Oh, she already took it down.

1018
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:39,600
Speaker 1: Hold on, I'm gonna I'm gonna find it though, um

1019
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:43,640
Speaker 1: smell good. No, it's like it's every celebrity people talking

1020
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:49,239
Speaker 1: anecdotally about meeting her and how she okay. She shared

1021
00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:51,640
Speaker 1: a video montage. Let's see if oh it's on Twitter.

1022
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:54,240
Speaker 1: What's that line? Though? There's something like if it smells

1023
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 1: like a fish, it's a dish. If it smells like perfume,

1024
00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:01,799
Speaker 1: leave it alone or something. Oh no, I'd never heard

1025
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:07,279
Speaker 1: of that, but that like people that overcompensate. I mean,

1026
00:55:07,280 --> 00:55:09,759
Speaker 1: I've been wearing your girlfriend's cologne that she gave me,

1027
00:55:10,320 --> 00:55:13,440
Speaker 1: not cologne, but um, the scent because it's like it's

1028
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:15,240
Speaker 1: one that I can travel with because it's so small

1029
00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 1: and it smells so good, and um, I feel really

1030
00:55:19,360 --> 00:55:21,640
Speaker 1: but this made me very insecure. I don't wear perfume

1031
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:23,480
Speaker 1: a lot because the one time I wore a fragrance

1032
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:27,239
Speaker 1: and I was working with um, what is his name,

1033
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:30,120
Speaker 1: Bobby Slayton. He was a headliner. We were in Tahoe

1034
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:34,320
Speaker 1: over ten years ago, and I put on Britney Spears

1035
00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 1: perfume that smelled good to me and and as someone

1036
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:40,040
Speaker 1: who I like respected probably wore it, so I like

1037
00:55:40,160 --> 00:55:42,359
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I trust that it smells good. And

1038
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:47,839
Speaker 1: he goes, oh Jesus Christ no, and like really made

1039
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,479
Speaker 1: me feel and I never from that point ever wanted

1040
00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 1: to wear perfume again. But listen to this. Listen to

1041
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 1: this Rihanna, like this thing about Rihanna, I'm smelling good.

1042
00:55:56,880 --> 00:56:00,719
Speaker 1: It starts with little nas um reading uh. Like these

1043
00:56:00,719 --> 00:56:02,520
Speaker 1: are all just like clips of different people saying she

1044
00:56:02,560 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 1: smells good. And what she says is just saying okay,

1045
00:56:07,400 --> 00:56:10,200
Speaker 1: wait okay. So it says he goes, there's a thing

1046
00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:13,080
Speaker 1: that says, what's your favorite smell? What's your favorite smeal?

1047
00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 1: Brianna Cardi beats think. Rihanna smells so good, really really soft,

1048
00:56:26,400 --> 00:56:32,400
Speaker 1: and I can't even describe what she's not it, but

1049
00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:34,680
Speaker 1: she's It was one of those things that literally left

1050
00:56:34,680 --> 00:56:37,200
Speaker 1: a memory on my mind when I walked like, what

1051
00:56:37,440 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 1: what does it smell like? Heaven? Yeah? What does smell like? Like?

1052
00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:47,919
Speaker 1: Dreams and wishes coming? When I met Rihanna, She's smell

1053
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:51,879
Speaker 1: amazing and she just got off stage. She smells I mean,

1054
00:56:52,239 --> 00:56:55,240
Speaker 1: you guys, this is only this is half the video.

1055
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:57,920
Speaker 1: It's it keeps going. It's just random people being like,

1056
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:02,080
Speaker 1: she smells so good. I cannot wait to smell her someday.

1057
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: I want to know what it is. And people go, yeah,

1058
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 1: did you get it with? Uh? I did not. I

1059
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:13,000
Speaker 1: wish I did see her. Oh yeah in the hotel

1060
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:17,160
Speaker 1: that the Bowery Hotel. Yeah, she walked by, and uh,

1061
00:57:17,280 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 1: I don't know. Part of me thinks, so if someone's

1062
00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:22,000
Speaker 1: if everyone's like she smelled like they almost expected her

1063
00:57:22,080 --> 00:57:24,560
Speaker 1: not to smell so good. No, I think it's just

1064
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 1: like alarming. Sometimes you just meet someone and you're like

1065
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:30,360
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, you smell good. I'm trying to think of, like,

1066
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 1: do you like men cologne? When men wear cologne, do

1067
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:38,160
Speaker 1: you like it or not? I like it. There's a

1068
00:57:38,200 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 1: little part of me that's like, what are they covering up?

1069
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:44,720
Speaker 1: But it just shows I mean I think I think

1070
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:46,360
Speaker 1: it smells good. I think it shows that a man

1071
00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:49,680
Speaker 1: like cares about his appearance and like hygiene, and like

1072
00:57:50,160 --> 00:57:55,360
Speaker 1: he'll probably have a nice like like ball and penis

1073
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,600
Speaker 1: situation too. He is caring about like spraying cologne. And

1074
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:01,080
Speaker 1: just like if it is everything else going on, if

1075
00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:04,080
Speaker 1: it's a guy that's wearing like disgusting clothes and also

1076
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,320
Speaker 1: smells good, then I'm like, oh, he's for breezing, you know,

1077
00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 1: he's covering it up. But if it's just like he

1078
00:58:09,120 --> 00:58:10,640
Speaker 1: looks like a guy that smells good and then he

1079
00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 1: smells good, I'm like, oh that makes sense. But what

1080
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:18,720
Speaker 1: was I just gonna say? Oh, you don't know. I'm

1081
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 1: I do not like cologne on men. I would prefer nothing.

1082
00:58:22,160 --> 00:58:24,840
Speaker 1: I would prefer BO, to be honest. I love the

1083
00:58:24,920 --> 00:58:29,120
Speaker 1: smell of a man. I loved BO, like when I'm

1084
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:32,640
Speaker 1: in love or like I think it's love. It just

1085
00:58:32,760 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 1: makes they smell so fucking good. Um. And I you know,

1086
00:58:37,800 --> 00:58:42,240
Speaker 1: I'm on record as picking up dirty underwear, like not

1087
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:44,240
Speaker 1: dirty as in like it has something on it, but

1088
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 1: like underwear that's on the floor and just huffing it

1089
00:58:47,240 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 1: like computer duster in a rag, you know, like really

1090
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:55,720
Speaker 1: like like I want, like I just love it. And

1091
00:58:55,760 --> 00:58:57,480
Speaker 1: that's when I know I love someone as I'm just

1092
00:58:57,560 --> 00:59:00,120
Speaker 1: like mm, I want to get in that arm it

1093
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 1: and like get it. And I've really let go of, um,

1094
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:07,240
Speaker 1: being worried about not smelling right down there or like

1095
00:59:07,320 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 1: tasting wrong or something down there. A because I've tasted

1096
00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 1: men's faces after they've been down there and it's great. A.

1097
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 1: And I've licked fingers after they've been in there, and

1098
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,960
Speaker 1: you know, I know that it's not bad. But also

1099
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,520
Speaker 1: like even if it's bad, if the guy loves me enough,

1100
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 1: it's not going to be a problem. And I honestly

1101
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 1: don't let anyone down there that might that I don't

1102
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:28,480
Speaker 1: trust and might talk it about me if I was

1103
00:59:28,560 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 1: having like a bad day, you know. Yeah, and even

1104
00:59:32,840 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 1: you know, a bad whatever, like it's like lasagna, Like

1105
00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:41,960
Speaker 1: a bad lasagna is still pretty damn delicious. Somebody vagina

1106
00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 1: looks like the side of lasagna, like all the layers,

1107
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:50,640
Speaker 1: like the wavy layers. Yeah yeah, yes, no more like

1108
00:59:50,800 --> 00:59:54,600
Speaker 1: like pasta layers, like the lips kind of resemble a

1109
00:59:54,720 --> 01:00:01,520
Speaker 1: layered lasagna, a vegan lasagna. All right, let's get to like, yeah, no,

1110
01:00:01,640 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 1: I haven't. I thought I was getting U T I

1111
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:06,000
Speaker 1: the other day and thank God that it went away.

1112
01:00:06,160 --> 01:00:08,240
Speaker 1: I'm I've been blessed with not having a lot of

1113
01:00:08,440 --> 01:00:11,920
Speaker 1: um stuff going on. Like there would be times that serious.

1114
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:13,520
Speaker 1: There was a while at serious when I would go

1115
01:00:13,560 --> 01:00:16,520
Speaker 1: to the bathroom and every day I would be like, there,

1116
01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:22,000
Speaker 1: someone is leaving behind a cloud of bavy bacterial vaginosis

1117
01:00:22,040 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 1: where it's like they're pussy just reeks and it like

1118
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:26,840
Speaker 1: stays in the room, not because they put a pad

1119
01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:29,400
Speaker 1: out or something like, it's it permeates and you just

1120
01:00:29,440 --> 01:00:31,520
Speaker 1: feel so bad for girls that are suffering with that,

1121
01:00:31,640 --> 01:00:34,440
Speaker 1: And um, I would just look into your diet or

1122
01:00:34,520 --> 01:00:36,200
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't, I don't know if you have

1123
01:00:36,280 --> 01:00:38,600
Speaker 1: that going on. I hope someone would tell you, because

1124
01:00:38,640 --> 01:00:40,760
Speaker 1: I think that when you smell, you just you get

1125
01:00:40,840 --> 01:00:44,360
Speaker 1: used to your smell, because that's an evolutionary thing we've learned,

1126
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:47,080
Speaker 1: is that like you get used to smells so that

1127
01:00:47,120 --> 01:00:49,480
Speaker 1: you can smell new smells that might be a threat

1128
01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:52,000
Speaker 1: to you. So um, that's why we get used aroun

1129
01:00:52,000 --> 01:00:54,040
Speaker 1: smell and can't smell our own smell. Let's get to

1130
01:00:54,040 --> 01:01:01,320
Speaker 1: top one bottom one. Today's category. Is I love this one?

1131
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:07,120
Speaker 1: Nikki Candies? Yes, candy. I don't know why. I was like, gotta,

1132
01:01:07,160 --> 01:01:09,480
Speaker 1: we've probably done it before because it just seems like

1133
01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:12,680
Speaker 1: such a fun one, but we haven't. We're gonna talk

1134
01:01:12,680 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 1: about our top one bottom one candy. Andrew, can you

1135
01:01:16,800 --> 01:01:21,640
Speaker 1: kick us off with your bottom candy? My bottom one candy?

1136
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 1: Drum roll? Is it sounds like a candy? Actually? Drumroet?

1137
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:30,840
Speaker 1: Sweetearts or the heart things that you get on Valentine's As,

1138
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:36,240
Speaker 1: they're disgusting. They're like paste. It's like eating fucking uh.

1139
01:01:36,720 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 1: What do you draw with on a chalk? Chalk? It's

1140
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:43,080
Speaker 1: just chalk. It's like it's chalk with letters. Get out

1141
01:01:43,120 --> 01:01:47,360
Speaker 1: of here. Let's start with um, the sweetearts? Yeah, sweetearts

1142
01:01:47,360 --> 01:01:49,280
Speaker 1: don't do ship for me either. What what is it

1143
01:01:49,280 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 1: about the sweeteart you do not like? It ain't sweet

1144
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:55,440
Speaker 1: and sour? What about a shock tart? Are you not

1145
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:58,560
Speaker 1: into a shock tart? That's sour or like a sour

1146
01:01:58,760 --> 01:02:02,040
Speaker 1: any sour candy. You just don't like sour. I don't

1147
01:02:02,080 --> 01:02:04,640
Speaker 1: for some reason. I don't mind sour or not sour

1148
01:02:04,760 --> 01:02:08,840
Speaker 1: patch kids. And I don't mind the lemon things the war,

1149
01:02:09,040 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 1: not warm heads, lemon heads. I don't mind lemon heads.

1150
01:02:13,040 --> 01:02:15,640
Speaker 1: I don't know what about sweethearts? What about a leedgehead?

1151
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:22,280
Speaker 1: I mean I'm dating one and dating a sweeteart if

1152
01:02:22,320 --> 01:02:28,160
Speaker 1: you if you asked me, um, but yes, but more

1153
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:31,720
Speaker 1: than anything, I I was thinking sweetheart. But then getting

1154
01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:34,560
Speaker 1: to the hearts on Valentine's Day, that's the shittiest candy

1155
01:02:34,560 --> 01:02:37,040
Speaker 1: on it. I'm not joking. If we did a top

1156
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:41,160
Speaker 1: five bottom five, candy, hearts for Valentine's Day would be

1157
01:02:41,200 --> 01:02:44,160
Speaker 1: in my top five one of my favorite candies bottom

1158
01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:48,200
Speaker 1: to top. Dude, I love those hearts and I don't

1159
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:50,480
Speaker 1: even read what they say because I just put them.

1160
01:02:50,520 --> 01:02:54,720
Speaker 1: I've made myself. I once ate so many of those

1161
01:02:55,680 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 1: around that time of year, Christmas. I ate so many

1162
01:02:59,640 --> 01:03:04,520
Speaker 1: of those one year, um that I was severely hungover

1163
01:03:04,600 --> 01:03:06,840
Speaker 1: the next day. I have had the further. I've heard

1164
01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:09,720
Speaker 1: about this, you know, in my eating disorder, communities of

1165
01:03:09,760 --> 01:03:12,240
Speaker 1: people being addicted to sugar and having hangovers the next

1166
01:03:12,320 --> 01:03:15,680
Speaker 1: day like a kin to alcoholic hangovers, and I never

1167
01:03:15,760 --> 01:03:18,880
Speaker 1: understood it. And now that I'm remembering, there was one

1168
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:22,320
Speaker 1: time and I quit drinking years prior and I had

1169
01:03:22,360 --> 01:03:25,880
Speaker 1: not had a hangover, and I felt so sick the

1170
01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,080
Speaker 1: next day because of how many I ate and I

1171
01:03:28,120 --> 01:03:29,840
Speaker 1: haven't been able to eat them since. But it was

1172
01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:31,840
Speaker 1: like yeager, you know, like it like ruined him for me.

1173
01:03:31,880 --> 01:03:38,480
Speaker 1: But I really love those love no, no, it has

1174
01:03:38,520 --> 01:03:40,400
Speaker 1: I don't even read them. I don't like I I

1175
01:03:40,560 --> 01:03:42,600
Speaker 1: they could be in the shape of a piece of

1176
01:03:42,640 --> 01:03:45,080
Speaker 1: poop and I'll be like, did not have any color

1177
01:03:45,120 --> 01:03:53,040
Speaker 1: to them? And and have written in you know, taliban. Oh.

1178
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:55,320
Speaker 1: I hate the fun I hate the sugar because it's

1179
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:58,400
Speaker 1: like a tucky and it's like I needed to be

1180
01:03:58,480 --> 01:04:01,040
Speaker 1: like left. I like the stick. I don't like the

1181
01:04:01,120 --> 01:04:04,400
Speaker 1: I didn't like the sug because it was like it

1182
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:07,919
Speaker 1: becomes like cotton in your mouth. You're like, I don't

1183
01:04:07,960 --> 01:04:10,080
Speaker 1: like it. Consistency is most of this with me, but

1184
01:04:10,160 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 1: for some reason, like yeah, I love it, sweethearts, so

1185
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:17,000
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I do not like the consistency,

1186
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:19,480
Speaker 1: and I don't like the flavor and I will would

1187
01:04:19,480 --> 01:04:22,720
Speaker 1: eat them is good? Um, but not um not my favorite? Noah,

1188
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:26,400
Speaker 1: what is your bottom one candy? Okay? I just want

1189
01:04:26,440 --> 01:04:30,919
Speaker 1: to say for Andrew, uh, I hate sweethearts too, But

1190
01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:35,280
Speaker 1: what I hate even more than sweethearts are whoppers. Malt?

1191
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:40,760
Speaker 1: You don't like malt? No malt for Noah? Okay? Um?

1192
01:04:41,760 --> 01:04:45,360
Speaker 1: Is it the consistency or the taste, the consistency and

1193
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,960
Speaker 1: the taste like you know when they would give you

1194
01:04:48,040 --> 01:04:52,400
Speaker 1: like powdered milk or something. Okay, yes, it just it

1195
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:54,960
Speaker 1: just feels like that, like I'm just putting that in

1196
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:57,440
Speaker 1: my mouth covered in chocolate. It just grosses me out,

1197
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:01,760
Speaker 1: Like funded for me gives me that powder of like

1198
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:04,440
Speaker 1: it just needs to get wet. Why is it so dry?

1199
01:05:04,560 --> 01:05:08,880
Speaker 1: Like I don't like it? But um, whoppers do not there.

1200
01:05:08,880 --> 01:05:11,320
Speaker 1: It's not like pieces of powder. It's like a It's

1201
01:05:11,360 --> 01:05:14,160
Speaker 1: like a ball of it. And I strongly disagree. I

1202
01:05:14,200 --> 01:05:17,400
Speaker 1: love whoppers, but I do understand an aversion to a

1203
01:05:17,480 --> 01:05:20,200
Speaker 1: candy that's so strong like that. And there are some

1204
01:05:20,280 --> 01:05:23,080
Speaker 1: candies that start out the first twenty it's the best

1205
01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:25,720
Speaker 1: thing you ever eat than the last twenty like whoppers.

1206
01:05:25,800 --> 01:05:27,840
Speaker 1: For me, I get them when I go to the

1207
01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:33,479
Speaker 1: movies Fantastic first twenty and then they really depreciate pretty quickly. Yes,

1208
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:37,520
Speaker 1: kind of like what's your bottom? My bottom? One is

1209
01:05:37,520 --> 01:05:41,120
Speaker 1: going to be very controversial, and I'm sorry to everyone

1210
01:05:40,520 --> 01:05:47,440
Speaker 1: about what Starburst? No, no, no, I love a Starburst.

1211
01:05:48,000 --> 01:05:50,080
Speaker 1: It's I would I would almost say it's more controversial,

1212
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:54,040
Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to be um. Honestly, I really

1213
01:05:54,040 --> 01:05:55,640
Speaker 1: thought about this, and I go, is this your least

1214
01:05:55,680 --> 01:06:00,160
Speaker 1: favorite candy? And it truly is whoa Reese's in a

1215
01:06:00,200 --> 01:06:03,080
Speaker 1: butter cups and not Let me just say, it's all

1216
01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:06,080
Speaker 1: about consistency, you guys. It's all about consistency. I do

1217
01:06:06,160 --> 01:06:08,600
Speaker 1: not like I like the chocolate on the outside, but

1218
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:12,880
Speaker 1: I don't like that it's like too cakey and dry

1219
01:06:12,920 --> 01:06:15,400
Speaker 1: in the middle. It needs to be creamier. Maybe I

1220
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:18,040
Speaker 1: had a bad one at one point. Butter fingers also

1221
01:06:18,160 --> 01:06:20,800
Speaker 1: don't care for I don't like I didn't used to

1222
01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:24,360
Speaker 1: just just not like peanut butter um tasting things as

1223
01:06:24,360 --> 01:06:28,840
Speaker 1: a kid. And but Reese's I would never grab a Reese's.

1224
01:06:28,920 --> 01:06:31,960
Speaker 1: Now Reese's pieces I'm putting in my top five. So

1225
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:35,160
Speaker 1: it's not about the races company. It is about the

1226
01:06:35,160 --> 01:06:37,640
Speaker 1: cup itself. It's about the inside of the cup being

1227
01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:40,720
Speaker 1: a chalky kind of dry peanut butter, and I don't

1228
01:06:40,760 --> 01:06:43,640
Speaker 1: care for it, and I don't understand the appeal. So

1229
01:06:43,680 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 1: you would want it more wet in there somehow, like

1230
01:06:46,160 --> 01:06:50,200
Speaker 1: caramel kind of texture, yeah, or just like more, um,

1231
01:06:50,280 --> 01:06:53,200
Speaker 1: more wet, like that dryness. I just don't like when

1232
01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:56,320
Speaker 1: you crack it open, it just looks I just don't

1233
01:06:56,360 --> 01:06:59,040
Speaker 1: like it. Um, all right, let's get to our I

1234
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:00,800
Speaker 1: I can't explain it. And I think a lot of

1235
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:02,600
Speaker 1: it's left over from my childhood. I do think that

1236
01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:05,120
Speaker 1: I've had Reese's Cups that I've been like, Okay, this

1237
01:07:05,200 --> 01:07:07,640
Speaker 1: is decent, but it's never gonna partly favorite. What about

1238
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:11,120
Speaker 1: the egg? The egg egg? I've never had a reach

1239
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:14,040
Speaker 1: his egg because I wouldn't even go there because why

1240
01:07:14,040 --> 01:07:17,439
Speaker 1: why waste the sugar and the calories and like the

1241
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:20,959
Speaker 1: fat of in the process nature of candy on something

1242
01:07:20,960 --> 01:07:23,640
Speaker 1: that you just don't even like? And um, noah, what

1243
01:07:23,840 --> 01:07:26,880
Speaker 1: your question again? Sorry? What if it's partly melted, like

1244
01:07:26,880 --> 01:07:28,840
Speaker 1: if it's been in your pocket, and then that would

1245
01:07:28,880 --> 01:07:32,200
Speaker 1: be more appealing to me? Um, Just like Maria Bamford

1246
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:34,800
Speaker 1: said in her special where she'll put like a protein

1247
01:07:34,840 --> 01:07:38,560
Speaker 1: bar in the um glove compartment and she goes and

1248
01:07:38,600 --> 01:07:40,760
Speaker 1: I pull out a protein bar out of the glove compartment,

1249
01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:45,440
Speaker 1: m fresh out of the oven. It just always I

1250
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:48,120
Speaker 1: would I wouldn't prefer a melted one. Thank you for asking,

1251
01:07:48,120 --> 01:07:50,919
Speaker 1: and that is absolutely true. Let's get to her top one.

1252
01:07:51,080 --> 01:07:56,400
Speaker 1: Andrew your number one candy man, This is tough. I

1253
01:07:56,440 --> 01:07:58,720
Speaker 1: mean there's one that I go to the most because

1254
01:07:58,760 --> 01:08:04,200
Speaker 1: it's always around, and that's just the old school Snickers. Yeah. Yeah,

1255
01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:09,040
Speaker 1: But if I had to go by always around, I

1256
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:11,400
Speaker 1: mean you're acting like I keep bowls of Snickers just

1257
01:08:11,480 --> 01:08:14,560
Speaker 1: around your bedside table, which you know wouldn't fit because

1258
01:08:14,600 --> 01:08:18,080
Speaker 1: there's too many cans. But why why Um, there's a

1259
01:08:18,080 --> 01:08:20,320
Speaker 1: lot of kiddies that are always around. There's Twicks, there's

1260
01:08:20,920 --> 01:08:26,720
Speaker 1: uh there there, they're in there, They're in uh, Walgreens

1261
01:08:26,720 --> 01:08:28,800
Speaker 1: and stuff. I'm talking about. If let's say you go

1262
01:08:28,840 --> 01:08:31,960
Speaker 1: to a golf country club, they usually have Maybe you're

1263
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:35,519
Speaker 1: saying the candy at that is of choice for you

1264
01:08:35,560 --> 01:08:39,920
Speaker 1: to have in a golf club. Of those candies, Snickers

1265
01:08:40,000 --> 01:08:43,360
Speaker 1: is your favorite. Okay, I didn't know that. The specifying

1266
01:08:43,400 --> 01:08:48,280
Speaker 1: and then take five is fantastic. Take fives are with

1267
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:57,000
Speaker 1: the pretzel Karl and there. Yeah, Take five is a trip.

1268
01:08:57,040 --> 01:09:00,439
Speaker 1: It's really fun. Um, A lot of different things going

1269
01:09:00,479 --> 01:09:04,040
Speaker 1: on there. Okay, Snickers, I you know, I think you're

1270
01:09:04,800 --> 01:09:08,000
Speaker 1: I think most people that have Snickers have fallen for

1271
01:09:08,040 --> 01:09:13,000
Speaker 1: the marketing that it's like some somehow like nutritional and

1272
01:09:13,000 --> 01:09:17,000
Speaker 1: that it's giving you like energy, and it's like it's

1273
01:09:17,040 --> 01:09:18,960
Speaker 1: better for you than other candies. And I know you're

1274
01:09:18,960 --> 01:09:21,080
Speaker 1: someone who's very susceptible to marketing, and I think you

1275
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:24,519
Speaker 1: I think without the hungry why weight commercials, you wouldn't

1276
01:09:24,520 --> 01:09:30,840
Speaker 1: have answered Snickers just now? Is there anything potentially look? Yes,

1277
01:09:31,000 --> 01:09:33,479
Speaker 1: have you ever read a Snicker's label and seen what

1278
01:09:33,600 --> 01:09:36,519
Speaker 1: the amount of sugar and fat and like what goes

1279
01:09:36,560 --> 01:09:38,800
Speaker 1: into him? Just and by the way, I'm not judging

1280
01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:40,320
Speaker 1: you for having them, because you're not a fat guy

1281
01:09:40,439 --> 01:09:43,679
Speaker 1: eat your Snickers like you? Yeah? No, I don't. I

1282
01:09:43,680 --> 01:09:46,559
Speaker 1: I I've never read Maybe I saw the calorie count

1283
01:09:46,640 --> 01:09:50,240
Speaker 1: is like something. Yeah, yeah, I'm looking at that sugar

1284
01:09:50,280 --> 01:09:52,559
Speaker 1: more than calories and I just think of Snickers might

1285
01:09:52,600 --> 01:09:55,200
Speaker 1: be more sugar than you should have a year. Probably

1286
01:09:55,360 --> 01:09:59,560
Speaker 1: I just boring answer, But we're talking. No, it's not

1287
01:09:59,560 --> 01:10:02,480
Speaker 1: a bit so I think that people love snickers, and um,

1288
01:10:02,520 --> 01:10:04,479
Speaker 1: I have to talk. I don't eat candy anymore because

1289
01:10:04,479 --> 01:10:07,800
Speaker 1: I don't eat sugar, but all right, avoid it, you know,

1290
01:10:09,280 --> 01:10:11,720
Speaker 1: uh sugar, and I don't crave it anymore, even though

1291
01:10:11,840 --> 01:10:14,320
Speaker 1: candy used to be the only thing I cared about

1292
01:10:14,360 --> 01:10:16,240
Speaker 1: as a child, and all I wanted to do was

1293
01:10:16,280 --> 01:10:18,519
Speaker 1: become an adult so I could just eat candy. Like.

1294
01:10:18,560 --> 01:10:20,760
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe that adults can just eat candy all

1295
01:10:20,800 --> 01:10:22,880
Speaker 1: the time and didn't do it. It's just like I

1296
01:10:22,880 --> 01:10:24,439
Speaker 1: would go to them all and go to Sweet Factory

1297
01:10:24,439 --> 01:10:27,639
Speaker 1: and just get spend seven dollars, which back in the nineties,

1298
01:10:27,640 --> 01:10:30,360
Speaker 1: seven dollars of Sweet Factory candy was a lot. I

1299
01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:32,960
Speaker 1: mean that was insert amount to spend on on on

1300
01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:36,679
Speaker 1: candy and just eat those peach rings, the like little

1301
01:10:36,720 --> 01:10:44,520
Speaker 1: sugary uh watermelon slices, the ropes, the strips of like sugar,

1302
01:10:44,640 --> 01:10:47,599
Speaker 1: like sparkly sugar on those long strips that looked like

1303
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:55,559
Speaker 1: you know, uh sport tape it. My parents love Twizzlers.

1304
01:10:55,600 --> 01:10:57,760
Speaker 1: They always had him on a ham and Twizzlers and

1305
01:10:57,760 --> 01:11:04,600
Speaker 1: goobersos are great. Um, I want to know, well, I

1306
01:11:04,640 --> 01:11:09,040
Speaker 1: actually love what I've never had. My mom loves rolos,

1307
01:11:09,120 --> 01:11:11,479
Speaker 1: my mom loves six lets. My mom's favorite candy is

1308
01:11:11,520 --> 01:11:14,040
Speaker 1: a six let. So if you have any kind of

1309
01:11:14,040 --> 01:11:17,680
Speaker 1: connection to six let's send them my way. Um. So, no,

1310
01:11:17,880 --> 01:11:21,160
Speaker 1: what's your number one? My number one? And I chose

1311
01:11:21,200 --> 01:11:22,760
Speaker 1: it as a number one because I can't find it

1312
01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:32,920
Speaker 1: anywhere anymore. Our cry baby tears. No, So it's this

1313
01:11:33,040 --> 01:11:35,840
Speaker 1: sour candy and it stays like what I loved about

1314
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:39,559
Speaker 1: as it stayed sour until the end, like candy. Literally

1315
01:11:39,680 --> 01:11:45,400
Speaker 1: never even see these things. They look like tear drops.

1316
01:11:45,640 --> 01:11:47,960
Speaker 1: I used to love stuffing a bunch of them in

1317
01:11:48,040 --> 01:11:50,880
Speaker 1: my mouth and just like seeing how much sour I

1318
01:11:50,880 --> 01:11:53,320
Speaker 1: could take. And so it takes. It's nostalgic, and you

1319
01:11:53,360 --> 01:11:56,800
Speaker 1: do like you like sour, And this guy looks like

1320
01:11:56,840 --> 01:11:59,160
Speaker 1: you a little, and they're like like the old version

1321
01:11:59,160 --> 01:12:01,559
Speaker 1: of Bart Simpson. Yeah it does. It looks like the

1322
01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:04,559
Speaker 1: original Bart Simpson or like the original sketch for Skeeter

1323
01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:08,160
Speaker 1: on Doug. I mean, this is so funny that you

1324
01:12:08,200 --> 01:12:10,320
Speaker 1: like these. I have never heard of them before, and

1325
01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:14,920
Speaker 1: I am a candy connoisseur. Um, and I will get

1326
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:21,280
Speaker 1: to my number one candy honestly, you're not gonna guess it,

1327
01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:25,120
Speaker 1: but let but but take a shot. I just don't

1328
01:12:25,120 --> 01:12:28,080
Speaker 1: think you know, this might be like the cry babies

1329
01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:31,559
Speaker 1: of like I won't get it. I won't get it. Okay,

1330
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:35,040
Speaker 1: let me say before we just before you jump in comment,

1331
01:12:35,120 --> 01:12:38,799
Speaker 1: let me say my favorite candy is Smarties. Now before

1332
01:12:38,840 --> 01:12:43,360
Speaker 1: you jump in, I am not talking about the American Smarties.

1333
01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:50,320
Speaker 1: I am talking about the Canadian chocolate candy coated Eminem.

1334
01:12:50,320 --> 01:12:52,919
Speaker 1: It's a it's like a large Eminem with a thicker coating.

1335
01:12:53,400 --> 01:12:57,479
Speaker 1: It has pastel colors, and the way they crunch in

1336
01:12:57,560 --> 01:13:00,360
Speaker 1: your mouth when they are I would say s lately

1337
01:13:00,840 --> 01:13:07,200
Speaker 1: warm in your pocket is just heaven. I love Smarties.

1338
01:13:07,439 --> 01:13:10,240
Speaker 1: They are the only candy I will ever eat for

1339
01:13:10,320 --> 01:13:11,720
Speaker 1: the rest of my life, and I treat myself to

1340
01:13:11,720 --> 01:13:13,160
Speaker 1: them when I go to Canada. I didn't get any

1341
01:13:13,160 --> 01:13:16,160
Speaker 1: of this time, but um, they just they just nailed it.

1342
01:13:16,160 --> 01:13:18,679
Speaker 1: I feel like Eminem's in recent pieces the candy coating

1343
01:13:18,760 --> 01:13:22,200
Speaker 1: is not crunchy enough. This one is probably three to

1344
01:13:22,280 --> 01:13:26,080
Speaker 1: four times the amount of candy coating, and it's not

1345
01:13:26,120 --> 01:13:28,400
Speaker 1: hard to crunch, but it gives you a little bit

1346
01:13:28,439 --> 01:13:31,080
Speaker 1: more of a pressure to get through and then you

1347
01:13:31,200 --> 01:13:34,400
Speaker 1: and they're bigger and they come in these little tiny boxes.

1348
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:37,000
Speaker 1: I fucking love a Smarty and let me just even

1349
01:13:37,040 --> 01:13:41,720
Speaker 1: say other Canadian candy that is amazing arrow a E

1350
01:13:42,000 --> 01:13:44,840
Speaker 1: r o S because they have little bubbles in them

1351
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:48,439
Speaker 1: that makes them fluffier and like not as condensed as chocolate.

1352
01:13:48,479 --> 01:13:51,360
Speaker 1: I need my I like a moosy type thing. Um

1353
01:13:51,439 --> 01:13:54,200
Speaker 1: so smart Canadian Smarties are my favorite. Please do not

1354
01:13:54,240 --> 01:13:56,479
Speaker 1: send me them because I I really can't control myself

1355
01:13:56,520 --> 01:14:00,200
Speaker 1: around them. And what came first, the American smart These

1356
01:14:00,200 --> 01:14:02,920
Speaker 1: are the Canadians. I would have seemed the American Smarties

1357
01:14:03,720 --> 01:14:06,280
Speaker 1: because that might be my worst. Actually, I didn't even

1358
01:14:06,280 --> 01:14:10,760
Speaker 1: think of these American parties. No, they're like the heart.

1359
01:14:12,000 --> 01:14:14,519
Speaker 1: I like them. And I know what you mean by

1360
01:14:14,560 --> 01:14:16,960
Speaker 1: like having a bad consistency, because I don't like the

1361
01:14:16,960 --> 01:14:20,680
Speaker 1: consistency of fundip of sweet Tarts, of shocked Tarts. I

1362
01:14:20,720 --> 01:14:24,000
Speaker 1: thought it was a disgusting consistency like it just I

1363
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:27,800
Speaker 1: love sprees though, so I don't know, I just I like,

1364
01:14:29,800 --> 01:14:32,040
Speaker 1: I'm never about the color of a candy. I think

1365
01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:35,120
Speaker 1: it's all like not really different, but a purple spree

1366
01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:40,919
Speaker 1: aside from you know, Starburst final thought, what is everyone's

1367
01:14:40,960 --> 01:14:46,080
Speaker 1: favorite color of Starburst? Andrew? If you say red, I'm

1368
01:14:46,160 --> 01:14:48,800
Speaker 1: going to walk out of the room. See this is

1369
01:14:48,800 --> 01:14:50,720
Speaker 1: the thing I knew you were gonna say. I'm a

1370
01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:54,840
Speaker 1: basic bitch with my Starburst, with my Snickers, with my life.

1371
01:14:57,400 --> 01:15:00,120
Speaker 1: I would have to say it's pink, and I am pink.

1372
01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:08,679
Speaker 1: But yellow is really good too. Noah, my favorite is pink,

1373
01:15:09,880 --> 01:15:15,080
Speaker 1: me too. Pink is the best. But then if you're

1374
01:15:15,080 --> 01:15:16,920
Speaker 1: going number two, are you gonna go yellow or you're

1375
01:15:16,920 --> 01:15:21,160
Speaker 1: gonna go red? Orange? Or like, what's another flavor? Orange?

1376
01:15:21,280 --> 01:15:23,880
Speaker 1: I went to red last red has this like very

1377
01:15:23,960 --> 01:15:27,639
Speaker 1: bitter grad Um. Let me ask you this. If we're

1378
01:15:27,640 --> 01:15:30,720
Speaker 1: going outside of the original Starbucks Burst back and we're

1379
01:15:30,720 --> 01:15:33,360
Speaker 1: going to like, um, do you remember the green pack?

1380
01:15:34,280 --> 01:15:37,479
Speaker 1: It was like more topical flavors, the watermelon one, the

1381
01:15:37,560 --> 01:15:41,720
Speaker 1: dark green one that had like the red writing on

1382
01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:46,400
Speaker 1: the dark green was delicious. That one's so good. Um? Noah,

1383
01:15:46,479 --> 01:15:51,640
Speaker 1: what are you? What are your thoughts on Snickers? On Snickers? Yeah,

1384
01:15:51,680 --> 01:15:54,760
Speaker 1: I can't eat it anymore? Like I okay, So how

1385
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:57,400
Speaker 1: I psyched myself out of eating candy as I just

1386
01:15:57,479 --> 01:15:59,800
Speaker 1: read what's in it? And when I start to read

1387
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:02,800
Speaker 1: of that I don't understand. It just turns me off

1388
01:16:02,840 --> 01:16:04,240
Speaker 1: from it. So I haven't had a Snickers in a

1389
01:16:04,280 --> 01:16:06,040
Speaker 1: long time, and now when I eat it, it's like

1390
01:16:06,120 --> 01:16:08,720
Speaker 1: two sweets, So I don't like it some Sometimes I

1391
01:16:08,840 --> 01:16:11,599
Speaker 1: think if you looked at the ingredients of your favorite

1392
01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:15,360
Speaker 1: toy as a kid and then a candy bar, there

1393
01:16:15,439 --> 01:16:17,960
Speaker 1: there's some mix. There's some mix and match there. Yeah,

1394
01:16:17,960 --> 01:16:22,479
Speaker 1: that's true, like in the same factory. Like I think

1395
01:16:22,520 --> 01:16:24,720
Speaker 1: the last thing for a toy is like to not

1396
01:16:24,840 --> 01:16:27,519
Speaker 1: make it out. I've never seen an ingredients on a toy.

1397
01:16:27,880 --> 01:16:29,360
Speaker 1: If you look on the back of where if you

1398
01:16:29,439 --> 01:16:32,000
Speaker 1: bought the box, there would probably be ingredients. I'm just

1399
01:16:32,000 --> 01:16:37,639
Speaker 1: saying that. I just feel like bat I get the joke.

1400
01:16:37,720 --> 01:16:40,160
Speaker 1: I like it. You're right, like they say, you know,

1401
01:16:40,240 --> 01:16:43,000
Speaker 1: when you remember when I was first starting about thinking

1402
01:16:43,000 --> 01:16:45,879
Speaker 1: about being vegan, I'm like, I'm gonna I was really broken.

1403
01:16:45,920 --> 01:16:50,120
Speaker 1: I always got the grilled chicken breast at a subway

1404
01:16:50,160 --> 01:16:51,599
Speaker 1: and I would put that on my salad. It looked

1405
01:16:51,720 --> 01:16:53,800
Speaker 1: was so good. The consistency. I just I was like,

1406
01:16:53,840 --> 01:16:57,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna miss eating subway because they don't they didn't

1407
01:16:57,280 --> 01:16:59,120
Speaker 1: have veggie patty at the time. That the ones that

1408
01:16:59,120 --> 01:17:01,960
Speaker 1: I was going to. And I love the veggie patty,

1409
01:17:02,080 --> 01:17:04,519
Speaker 1: even though I think there is um like some kind

1410
01:17:04,520 --> 01:17:09,320
Speaker 1: of baggie patty. I mean, it's a kind of taste

1411
01:17:09,320 --> 01:17:13,559
Speaker 1: like that. Honestly, I think I did say veggie patty. Um.

1412
01:17:13,560 --> 01:17:17,120
Speaker 1: But I remember a girl saying, she goes, if you

1413
01:17:17,160 --> 01:17:19,919
Speaker 1: looked up the ingredients in the chicken, you would realize

1414
01:17:19,920 --> 01:17:22,799
Speaker 1: that it's not chicken. You can eat it. It's probably

1415
01:17:22,880 --> 01:17:25,400
Speaker 1: vegan because there's just so little chicken in that. It's

1416
01:17:25,439 --> 01:17:28,920
Speaker 1: like a yoga matt, you know. Um. I will say that,

1417
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:31,559
Speaker 1: like if you're someone out there who loves snickers and

1418
01:17:31,640 --> 01:17:35,760
Speaker 1: loves a candy bar type thing, I have sweetness in

1419
01:17:35,760 --> 01:17:37,639
Speaker 1: my life, like you need to get off the candy

1420
01:17:37,760 --> 01:17:40,640
Speaker 1: to recalibrate, like what you think is sweet. And you

1421
01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:42,519
Speaker 1: know when people have desserts and they go, oh, that's

1422
01:17:42,560 --> 01:17:45,080
Speaker 1: too sweet and they put it away. I've never related

1423
01:17:45,120 --> 01:17:47,439
Speaker 1: to those people. Like that is insane to me that

1424
01:17:47,520 --> 01:17:50,880
Speaker 1: someone go it's too rich. M It's like there's never

1425
01:17:50,960 --> 01:17:53,519
Speaker 1: enough sweetness. I'm a sugar addict through and through. Like

1426
01:17:53,600 --> 01:17:58,040
Speaker 1: I love sugar. It was my first addiction for sure. Um.

1427
01:17:58,080 --> 01:18:01,880
Speaker 1: But I am now off show er and the best.

1428
01:18:02,680 --> 01:18:05,320
Speaker 1: I am a protein bar kind of like I am,

1429
01:18:05,439 --> 01:18:08,479
Speaker 1: so I know every protein bar and all the vegan

1430
01:18:08,479 --> 01:18:11,320
Speaker 1: protein bars especially. I don't even want to give this

1431
01:18:11,360 --> 01:18:13,840
Speaker 1: away because it is like the serum that I talked about,

1432
01:18:13,880 --> 01:18:15,720
Speaker 1: and I'm never going to tell you that serum again

1433
01:18:15,720 --> 01:18:17,280
Speaker 1: because I already said it once and I'm not saying

1434
01:18:17,280 --> 01:18:19,920
Speaker 1: it again. But this almost feels the same to me.

1435
01:18:19,920 --> 01:18:21,519
Speaker 1: But I want to help people out who are trying

1436
01:18:21,560 --> 01:18:25,040
Speaker 1: to break the sugar cycle. The best bars that are

1437
01:18:25,080 --> 01:18:28,880
Speaker 1: low sugar and vegan and taste delicious and sugary, and

1438
01:18:28,920 --> 01:18:30,800
Speaker 1: I don't know how they sweeten them, and then they're

1439
01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:34,240
Speaker 1: pretty good. They're like good for you. New Go Slim

1440
01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:36,400
Speaker 1: do not get New Go Regular because they have tons

1441
01:18:36,400 --> 01:18:40,200
Speaker 1: of sugar in them. New Go Slim peanut butter or

1442
01:18:40,360 --> 01:18:44,880
Speaker 1: raspberry or the mint New Go Slim. Now there's also

1443
01:18:45,320 --> 01:18:48,360
Speaker 1: peanut butter, but not peanut butter. Yeah, I mean, peanut

1444
01:18:48,360 --> 01:18:52,280
Speaker 1: butter is not the problem here. It's the consistency of

1445
01:18:52,400 --> 01:18:56,599
Speaker 1: the inside of the receps um and then the other

1446
01:18:56,640 --> 01:18:58,960
Speaker 1: one that is my favorite. And I hope this doesn't

1447
01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:00,880
Speaker 1: drive the price up of them. I don't know understand

1448
01:19:00,920 --> 01:19:02,960
Speaker 1: why I'm even trying to make it about like I

1449
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:09,120
Speaker 1: have so much influence. There's like insiders raw Rev raw.

1450
01:19:09,360 --> 01:19:12,439
Speaker 1: These are the best ones, and they are tiny, they

1451
01:19:12,439 --> 01:19:15,599
Speaker 1: are low sugar, they are so eleven grams of protein,

1452
01:19:15,840 --> 01:19:18,920
Speaker 1: thirteen grams of fiber, gluten free, non GMO, three grams

1453
01:19:18,920 --> 01:19:22,760
Speaker 1: of sugar. Um. They are raw Rev Glow g l

1454
01:19:22,840 --> 01:19:27,080
Speaker 1: O raw Rev glow. The peanut butter, dark dark chocolate

1455
01:19:27,120 --> 01:19:31,439
Speaker 1: and sea salt are the best, best best. There's also

1456
01:19:31,439 --> 01:19:33,519
Speaker 1: a peanut butter variety. Don't love that because it's just

1457
01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:36,080
Speaker 1: too much peanut butter and not enough chocolate. Um, those

1458
01:19:36,120 --> 01:19:38,360
Speaker 1: are the two best. And you give me a raw

1459
01:19:38,400 --> 01:19:41,040
Speaker 1: Rev Glow peanut butter, dark chocolate and sea salt that

1460
01:19:41,080 --> 01:19:43,360
Speaker 1: has been a little bit warmed up in my pocket,

1461
01:19:43,720 --> 01:19:46,320
Speaker 1: and I I think it might be my favorite food.

1462
01:19:46,400 --> 01:19:48,760
Speaker 1: It is so delicious. There's cheesa seeds in it that

1463
01:19:48,800 --> 01:19:51,240
Speaker 1: give it a little crunch, and the chocolate melts in

1464
01:19:51,240 --> 01:19:53,760
Speaker 1: a way that is so like a warm cookie from

1465
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:56,680
Speaker 1: the Double Tree Hotel. It is amazing that there's not

1466
01:19:56,720 --> 01:19:58,479
Speaker 1: a lot of sugar in there. And I have I

1467
01:19:58,479 --> 01:20:00,479
Speaker 1: I don't eat a ton of them because I actually

1468
01:20:00,520 --> 01:20:01,960
Speaker 1: try to have real meals now. I used to live

1469
01:20:01,960 --> 01:20:05,200
Speaker 1: on protein bars. But those are the best ones. And

1470
01:20:05,240 --> 01:20:08,280
Speaker 1: I used to be uh all I ate up until

1471
01:20:09,120 --> 01:20:11,120
Speaker 1: you know, a year and a half ago was or

1472
01:20:11,200 --> 01:20:14,360
Speaker 1: gain uh protein bars. It's like that was where my

1473
01:20:14,400 --> 01:20:16,960
Speaker 1: go to. I never ate anything else. I would supplement

1474
01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,519
Speaker 1: sometimes with a no Cow, but no cow has a

1475
01:20:18,600 --> 01:20:20,760
Speaker 1: chalkingess to it. That's not my favorite. But I'm not

1476
01:20:20,800 --> 01:20:23,120
Speaker 1: kidding you, raw Rev, I have to a day. I

1477
01:20:23,200 --> 01:20:24,760
Speaker 1: love them so much. They are great on the go,

1478
01:20:24,920 --> 01:20:27,640
Speaker 1: and they probably will satiate you just as much as

1479
01:20:27,680 --> 01:20:30,439
Speaker 1: like a Snicker's without the sugar. So don't get the

1480
01:20:30,439 --> 01:20:33,599
Speaker 1: ones I have, but order your own. Very funny candy

1481
01:20:33,600 --> 01:20:37,240
Speaker 1: bar story that I was just told recently. You know,

1482
01:20:37,320 --> 01:20:42,360
Speaker 1: baby Ruth the bar, the candy bar. Babe Ruth the

1483
01:20:42,360 --> 01:20:47,639
Speaker 1: baseball player sued them first, taking his likeness, and they

1484
01:20:47,640 --> 01:20:55,439
Speaker 1: said it had nothing to do with I love that

1485
01:20:55,640 --> 01:20:58,680
Speaker 1: supers likeness. Like he like maybe his dick looked like

1486
01:20:59,040 --> 01:21:02,760
Speaker 1: the bar. Maybe he was so riddled with uh, you know,

1487
01:21:03,280 --> 01:21:06,240
Speaker 1: the like different venerial diseases that he was like, Oh,

1488
01:21:06,280 --> 01:21:07,800
Speaker 1: it's not about the name. It's like the candy bar

1489
01:21:07,880 --> 01:21:12,280
Speaker 1: looks like my penis. It's the like h this weekend

1490
01:21:12,280 --> 01:21:14,639
Speaker 1: on the in the plane David Spade took a TwixT

1491
01:21:14,720 --> 01:21:17,120
Speaker 1: and put it in the toilet and took a picture

1492
01:21:17,200 --> 01:21:19,720
Speaker 1: of it and goes, guys, who left this behind? And

1493
01:21:19,800 --> 01:21:22,320
Speaker 1: his assistant Heather thought it was an actual ship. It

1494
01:21:22,360 --> 01:21:24,760
Speaker 1: was like, it wasn't me And I go, how do

1495
01:21:24,840 --> 01:21:28,439
Speaker 1: you think? I'm wondering do you ship? Like perfectly little

1496
01:21:28,439 --> 01:21:33,120
Speaker 1: rectangular glossy like with a drizzle on it that like,

1497
01:21:33,600 --> 01:21:35,160
Speaker 1: what are your ships? Like? I was like, I wanna

1498
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:37,280
Speaker 1: I wish I were you that I would think that

1499
01:21:37,280 --> 01:21:39,200
Speaker 1: that was even a ship. It was really funny. And

1500
01:21:39,280 --> 01:21:43,519
Speaker 1: Spade goes, we're on this like voice Jane, and he goes, um, yeah,

1501
01:21:43,560 --> 01:21:45,479
Speaker 1: that was really hard for me to place in there,

1502
01:21:45,680 --> 01:21:47,160
Speaker 1: Like it was like you guys should have seen me

1503
01:21:47,160 --> 01:21:48,439
Speaker 1: in there. I had to like ship in my hand

1504
01:21:48,520 --> 01:21:50,320
Speaker 1: and then put it in. It was just so funny.

1505
01:21:51,680 --> 01:21:53,439
Speaker 1: I had a great deal. I want to talk more

1506
01:21:53,439 --> 01:21:55,640
Speaker 1: about that weekend. We're gonna, um, We're gonna have a

1507
01:21:55,640 --> 01:21:57,840
Speaker 1: great week of shows. We will see you tomorrow on

1508
01:21:57,880 --> 01:22:01,040
Speaker 1: the show for a special uh f Ay Island edition

1509
01:22:01,439 --> 01:22:03,800
Speaker 1: of the Nikki Glazer Podcast. So go binge that catch

1510
01:22:03,880 --> 01:22:05,680
Speaker 1: up with us and start that show so you can

1511
01:22:05,760 --> 01:22:07,479
Speaker 1: enjoy tomorrow. We're gonna tell you all the behind the

1512
01:22:07,520 --> 01:22:12,200
Speaker 1: scenes info. Um see then don't we cat and decre