WEBVTT - Featuring Ashe 0:00:01.639 --> 0:00:04.720 Hey everyone, and welcome to the first episode of season 0:00:04.840 --> 0:00:07.920 four of Let's Be Real. That is Crazy. I am 0:00:08.160 --> 0:00:11.320 so excited to share my conversation with singer songwriter Ash, 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:14.480 but before I do, I don't think I've truly had 0:00:14.480 --> 0:00:17.920 the opportunity to share and express my gratitude to you 0:00:17.960 --> 0:00:21.720 guys for listening and just being interested in this podcast. 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:26.239 Season four is absolutely my favorite, and there are so 0:00:26.280 --> 0:00:28.640 many full circle moments that I cannot wait to share 0:00:28.640 --> 0:00:31.400 with you. But for now, let's kick it off with 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:36.720 my new favorite artists Ash. Hello, everybody, and welcome to 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:39.159 this week's episode of the Let's Be Real podcast. This 0:00:39.200 --> 0:00:41.360 week is so exciting because I get to talk with 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:45.840 one of my favorite musicians. Ash. Welcome. That's so nice. 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:50.240 This is your first podcast. Yeah, this is so exciting. Wow. 0:00:50.680 --> 0:00:53.959 I also I already said this earlier, but wow, I 0:00:54.000 --> 0:00:57.160 love the way I sound. It's microphone with the headphone. 0:00:57.200 --> 0:01:00.240 It makes me want to talk really low. Oh, it's 0:01:00.280 --> 0:01:03.040 like you just want to like do a whole meditation. 0:01:03.160 --> 0:01:06.000 You could do like a narration. I was like, your 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:09.160 is so soothing. It's soothing in person, but then when 0:01:09.200 --> 0:01:11.640 you're talking anyways, that's so funny you say that because 0:01:11.760 --> 0:01:14.720 I don't like the sound of my voice. Really yeah, 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:18.160 even right now talking it's fine. It's just listening to 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:21.199 it back, I'm like, oh, I like it a lot. 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:26.839 It's thank you so much. Welcome. Just kick this off 0:01:26.920 --> 0:01:28.880 with compliments, you know what. I think that's the best 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:31.600 way to start off any podcast. It was a little 0:01:31.640 --> 0:01:33.360 self love on my part two. I was like, I 0:01:33.400 --> 0:01:37.399 sound good, just to you know, shoot your own horn 0:01:37.440 --> 0:01:42.240 a little more. I've been listening to Ray NonStop. Can 0:01:42.280 --> 0:01:46.640 I tell you that I think the not only the 0:01:46.760 --> 0:01:50.919 lyrics and the storytelling, but the instrumentals and the music. 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:53.920 It just hits different. Thank you, It truly does. And 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:55.680 I'm so excited to talk to you about it and 0:01:55.680 --> 0:01:57.760 what everything that's happening. The first thing I want to 0:01:57.760 --> 0:01:59.960 talk about is, I know you've talked about how you're 0:02:00.040 --> 0:02:02.440 making an album. It's kind of a snapshot of a 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:04.960 moment in time in your life. Where were you in 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:08.560 your life when this album was made. What's funny because 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:12.200 it is the perfect snapshot of where I currently am. 0:02:12.440 --> 0:02:14.760 But when I was writing it, it was kind of 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:19.239 like I was manifesting this current era. Weirdly love that 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:24.760 it was a manifestation yeah, because I was still in 0:02:24.840 --> 0:02:27.880 a pretty like long term committed relationship at the time. 0:02:28.720 --> 0:02:32.120 I was still wearing my turtlenecks. Like when I was 0:02:32.200 --> 0:02:37.080 working on this album, I was kind of like wanting 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:40.280 to be and like graduate into this new era, but 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:43.480 I wasn't there yet, and I like, weirdly making the 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:46.440 album kind of launched me into this place because like 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:48.720 I can be the girl on another man's jeans, and 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:51.480 then I broke up with my boyfriend and then I'm 0:02:51.520 --> 0:02:54.880 in somebody else's chains. How you are you should be? 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:56.880 I was like, wait, but when I wrote that song, 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:59.480 not in my wildest dreams did I think I'd be 0:02:59.760 --> 0:03:02.880 here now. Isn't that funny how life works like that. 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:06.959 It's just I'm a warrior and sometimes something I'm realizing. 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:09.640 It's kind of it all it works out, it kind 0:03:09.680 --> 0:03:13.480 of does. Oh yeah, if you're a warrior, I would 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:18.920 say stop. I mean, hey, listen, I feel like we 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:24.480 all have like in inordinate amount of anxiety, and especially 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:29.120 your generation and like below us. It's just there's a 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:33.440 lot going on. But I will say, you're gonna waste 0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:37.880 away your life worrying. Oh yeah, don't do it. I 0:03:38.680 --> 0:03:40.480 just gotta let it go, because things are going to 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:44.200 be the way they are whether or not you like it. Like, 0:03:44.520 --> 0:03:46.360 do you know what this kind of reminds me of 0:03:46.600 --> 0:03:51.800 maybe a song called Emotional. Yeah, she did her homework, 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:56.040 she listened to the whole thing, of course. Yeah, we 0:03:56.600 --> 0:04:03.760 do emotional honestly though, Like I love that song and 0:04:03.800 --> 0:04:06.440 it's the energy of it is like, let's just have 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:09.160 a good time tonight. But also I am a firm 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:13.840 believer that like, let yourself feel all the things, you know, 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:17.039 let yourself go there. Sometimes. I think one of the 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:19.159 things that I think that you know you can relate 0:04:19.160 --> 0:04:24.240 to is being a woman is really hard. And that's 0:04:24.240 --> 0:04:27.720 just a blanket, just a blanket statement, I know, and 0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:30.880 I've been realizing it more and more, especially going into 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:34.160 school and just being on my own and just the 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:37.200 pressures that come with it and how we're you know, 0:04:38.640 --> 0:04:41.799 it's almost like we're not meant to be like human 0:04:41.839 --> 0:04:43.960 beings in a way. We're kind of looked at and 0:04:44.000 --> 0:04:48.480 it's hard to it's it's it's just it's really hard sometimes. 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:50.720 And I know you've talked about these themes and your 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:52.680 songs and your music, and I was wondering where that 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:55.000 stems from and if you've dealt with it personally as well. 0:04:55.160 --> 0:05:00.280 Oh my gosh, yeah, I like what you just said. 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:01.680 I feel like you kind of hit the nail on 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:04.279 the head with like it's almost like we're not supposed 0:05:04.279 --> 0:05:07.719 to be human beings. Sometimes, like the expect some of 0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:12.240 the expectations on us are like just so out of 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:18.520 this world, like be beautiful, but don't be too manufactured 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:23.400 because that's fake. But if you're too natural, and then 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:26.400 like work out and be fit, but like don't be 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:29.039 too thin, don't be too thin. There's so many there's 0:05:29.040 --> 0:05:31.000 like all these double standards are like I just started 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:33.920 seeing this guy and like all these things are coming 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:39.640 up for me. Of like it's fine if like he like, okay, 0:05:39.680 --> 0:05:42.039 this is so dumb, but like parts in front of me, 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:46.159 but I'm like I could never because I mean there's 0:05:46.160 --> 0:05:47.640 a whole there's a lot of other stuff around there. 0:05:47.640 --> 0:05:50.440 But like I'm even being just like anybody else. And 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:55.279 I definitely I think we're we're programmed to be like 0:05:56.360 --> 0:06:00.760 you have to be perfect in every way, and when 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:04.440 the standard of perfection changes, then you have to change 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:07.680 with it. And you better you better know when it 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:10.960 changes because sometimes it changes overnight and you miss it. 0:06:11.640 --> 0:06:15.680 But I totally relate to you. And I think that 0:06:16.160 --> 0:06:19.479 I surround myself with a lot of really good humans 0:06:20.080 --> 0:06:23.440 that see me as a human, like men and women 0:06:23.480 --> 0:06:27.120 alike in my life and and everyone in between, that 0:06:27.279 --> 0:06:31.080 I I have been really well protected. Now, like I 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:32.920 got to a place in my life where I don't 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.640 have anybody in my life who doesn't expect me to 0:06:35.760 --> 0:06:42.520 like be real, you know, yeah actually on words got him? 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:47.000 But yeah, what's going on right now in school? How 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:50.000 is that? How is that reflecting in school? Like what's 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:52.560 coming up of like, you know, not feeling like you 0:06:52.560 --> 0:06:55.359 can be a human. It's very interesting because being in 0:06:55.400 --> 0:06:59.240 film school, I'm realizing already there is not only is 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:02.120 like the film industry very male dominated, but I already 0:07:02.120 --> 0:07:04.719 had experience where I was directing a scene and a 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:08.840 guy completely was like in my face trying to distract 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:11.520 me and tell me I was doing it wrong? What? 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:15.000 And I'm like that was freshman year already. I'm like, 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:19.280 why can't It feels like sometimes the voice that we're 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:22.320 given isn't enough or it's not taken seriously enough. So 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:24.440 I think something that I'm really trying to do and 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:27.640 established for myself is make my what I want clear 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:31.360 and because frankly, no one else is going to do 0:07:31.400 --> 0:07:34.040 it unless I do it. Yeah, you're you have to 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:37.360 care more than anyone else. Oh absolutely. Also I love this. 0:07:37.560 --> 0:07:41.280 My mom always told me that you teach people how 0:07:41.320 --> 0:07:45.040 to treat you, so like it puts the ownership back 0:07:45.080 --> 0:07:49.240 into your court of Like, yeah, people can kind of 0:07:49.280 --> 0:07:52.320 out the gate, maybe treat you poorly, but then you 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:56.040 immediately either validate them and say that's okay, or you 0:07:56.880 --> 0:07:58.560 stand up for yourself and you're like, well that's not 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:03.040 gonna fly. And you're constantly everything you do, from the 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:05.840 moment you walk up to someone and hug them or 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:08.760 shake their hand, you are teaching people constantly how to 0:08:08.800 --> 0:08:12.880 treat you. And so I feel like in that scenario, 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:18.680 it's like this person is violating your personal space, your 0:08:19.840 --> 0:08:23.160 he's obviously being super disrespectful, and like, in that moment, 0:08:23.520 --> 0:08:26.840 that sucks, but you know, we learn from it and 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:28.880 we grow from it. And because that's all you can 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:32.120 do from it, I feel like sometimes you just have 0:08:32.200 --> 0:08:34.960 to be like I feel like no, no, and I 0:08:34.960 --> 0:08:37.040 feel like something you mentioned about being in this new era, 0:08:37.320 --> 0:08:39.760 I'm kind of in a new era myself kind of 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:42.800 just like, Okay, we're twenty now, it's a new decade. 0:08:42.840 --> 0:08:46.120 Oh my gosh, we're just it's it's a new decade, 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:49.560 and I'm very excited for what's to come and for 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:53.640 everything that I'm gonna learn. How how have your twenties been? 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:59.160 Giving any advice? God, yeah, I got some advice for you. Um, 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:05.000 My twenties have been interesting. I've always felt like, even 0:09:05.040 --> 0:09:07.440 through a bit, I've been through a lot. My twenties 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:11.040 were I got engaged, I got married, I got divorced, 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:16.400 I said another relationship. I graduated college, moved to Nashville, 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:19.480 moved to San Diego, and moved to l A. M hmm, 0:09:20.040 --> 0:09:23.240 moved around and bought a house, got that divorce. I 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:26.400 had to sell that house, give half of my money 0:09:26.400 --> 0:09:29.600 to somebody else who did not deserve it, and then 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:39.720 piping hot tea, um, um, divorce is messy. Oh yeah 0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:43.040 at such a young age, Yeah I was. I was 0:09:43.080 --> 0:09:49.280 twenty five, plenty of time to go through it all. 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:53.080 You're gonna love it. Um. So that was interesting. And 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:56.839 then I got into a very safe, lovely, kind relationship 0:09:57.080 --> 0:10:00.520 with someone who just became my best friend and then 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:03.000 got to a point where I realized I was in 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:07.840 a friendship, not not like a romantic relationship. It's a 0:10:07.880 --> 0:10:11.760 fine line, but the line it's very it's it's it. 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:16.160 I needed it, like it was perfect for the time. 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:18.480 It was right for as long as it was right, 0:10:18.720 --> 0:10:20.800 like it was. I also was in a really like 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:25.600 emotionally abusive relationship in my marriage, and so like needing 0:10:25.600 --> 0:10:27.800 to be with someone who was really safe and kind, 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:31.040 I think was exactly what I needed, and he taught 0:10:31.080 --> 0:10:33.679 me a lot of like, Okay, these are non negotiables 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:36.000 moving forward in relationships. Here's what I know that I 0:10:36.040 --> 0:10:38.840 want um, and knowing what you don't want is also 0:10:38.960 --> 0:10:43.520 just important to oh my gosh, Yeah, relationships are great, 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:45.400 Like I feel like they get a bad rap. It's 0:10:45.400 --> 0:10:47.680 all the breakup albums that give them the bad rap. 0:10:47.960 --> 0:10:50.840 It's all the breakup albums that's all everyone listens to, 0:10:51.200 --> 0:10:54.840 or the divorce records. Yeah, I mean, hey, it's just 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:58.720 which is they're great songs, but like, yeah, there's just 0:10:58.800 --> 0:11:02.240 some lessons that you don't learn through other people, like 0:11:02.280 --> 0:11:03.880 you have to learn them on your own and like 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:08.199 go through a relationship. But anyways, what was my advice 0:11:08.240 --> 0:11:12.599 to you in your twenties. Wait, um, what do you 0:11:12.640 --> 0:11:16.480 wish you knew going into this the decade? I do 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:20.640 feel like a little bit on the emotional lane. I 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:26.440 do feel like I took things far too seriously in 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:30.800 my twenties. I take things way less serious. And my 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.400 twenties are almost over. Like I I'm getting to that 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:37.600 point where I'm like, I think people take life, just 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:42.640 make things that aren't important way too important, and then 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:45.520 they take over your life and then you're losing sleep 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:49.880 over these things or over people who don't you don't 0:11:49.920 --> 0:11:52.920 even like. You're trying to get approval from people you 0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:56.000 don't even care about. Then they don't care about you either. 0:11:56.080 --> 0:11:59.679 It's for this abstract concept of approve. You want them 0:11:59.720 --> 0:12:01.760 to care about you. You want them to care. But also, 0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:05.120 like in your twenties, in your twenties, something that I'm 0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:08.320 trying to figure out is being content with myself and 0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:10.280 just needing myself. And I feel like that's like the 0:12:10.320 --> 0:12:13.680 journey that I'm currently on right now. That's amazing. Yeah. 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.079 I went to the summer. I was the summer was 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:18.240 all about self growth. I went to Europe by myself. 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:20.319 I was just wanted to see if I could do it, 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:24.280 So that's bold. Where'd you go in Europe? I went 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:28.160 to Paris for a week by myself. It's my favorite city. 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:31.160 It was so pretty. The thing was, I was so 0:12:31.240 --> 0:12:33.480 anxious the first couple days. I couldn't enjoy the food. 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:37.840 Oh no, doesn't that suck? Like well, I mean, but 0:12:37.920 --> 0:12:40.720 we got to enjoy Paris. So after the first three 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:44.640 days you chilled out. After my body was like, no, 0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:48.760 are you learning it? No, you were there. I was 0:12:48.840 --> 0:12:51.280 just going listening to music and Apple maps. That was 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:54.840 how I got good. Okay, not talking to any French people, No, 0:12:55.000 --> 0:12:57.360 I did. Look, it was great for people watching. It 0:12:57.520 --> 0:13:00.320 was so good for people watching. How did you order food? 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:04.480 You know? There was a they gave me English menus 0:13:05.040 --> 0:13:07.480 what in Paris? Yeah? Or and if it wasn't, I 0:13:07.480 --> 0:13:11.040 would just like like go on Google Translate and then 0:13:11.080 --> 0:13:15.760 see what it said. Oh like the scanny that's genius. Yeah, 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:19.280 honoring technology. Man. I'm so proud of you. I don't 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:20.680 know that I wouldn't know you well enough to be 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:23.600 proud of you, but I do feel pride that you 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:25.400 went on your own and it's been a week there. 0:13:25.520 --> 0:13:28.760 That's amazing. I feel like after living through a pandemic. 0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:30.920 I'm like, you gotta get out of here. You just 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:35.320 got to get out and explore the world at this point. Yeah. Yeah, 0:13:35.360 --> 0:13:37.280 And I love that this has been the summer of 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:39.760 self growth for you. I think it is. I mean 0:13:39.920 --> 0:13:42.240 I don't know. That feels like the energy a lot 0:13:42.280 --> 0:13:44.400 around a lot of people. I know right now, what 0:13:44.480 --> 0:13:49.200 about you? Oh? I mean always I went on this 0:13:49.440 --> 0:13:55.000 like fifty four show headline tour. Incredible, that's certain, April 0:13:55.520 --> 0:13:59.640 and it just kicked my ass. It was amazing and 0:13:59.679 --> 0:14:01.880 I I only got to like connect with all these 0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:05.520 fans that like I've just been like we were dating, 0:14:05.520 --> 0:14:08.880 were dating each other on Tinder, like it's an online relationship. 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:11.360 We got to have in person. Yeah, we finally got 0:14:11.400 --> 0:14:15.640 to like not fully like hug everyone because I'm on stage, 0:14:15.640 --> 0:14:17.959 but like just like connect in a real way. Why 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:22.680 did I say that? Oh growth? Yeah. That tour completely 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:28.160 changed my basically my entire existence, like the view I 0:14:28.240 --> 0:14:32.600 had of myself, like seeing myself through my fans eyes. 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:36.280 In the beginning, I had a really hard time with it. 0:14:36.680 --> 0:14:39.160 I like went through a whole existential crisis in the 0:14:39.200 --> 0:14:42.200 first two weeks a tour because I was like, no 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:47.119 one deserves to be loved like this, Like I remember 0:14:47.480 --> 0:14:50.000 kind I've gotten over it, and now I'm like love me, 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:54.520 love me and more love me, or like let okay, 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:57.920 well we'll get there. But I was like I'd walk 0:14:57.960 --> 0:15:02.200 out onto stage and like the intro, I have this 0:15:02.240 --> 0:15:04.320 crazy elaborate intro, and then I walk out in the 0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:07.360 music cuts and like it's like a wall of screaming 0:15:07.480 --> 0:15:13.400 hits me. And I had a really hard time adjusting 0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:15.840 to that. It was the first time I had ever 0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.080 experienced it. And while like your whole life, you like, 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.040 I want to be successful, I want to be in 0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:22.240 a room where people are screaming my name, and then 0:15:22.240 --> 0:15:24.880 it actually happens, and then you're like, how do I process? 0:15:24.960 --> 0:15:28.120 No one should feel this way, like putting me on 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:31.760 a pedestal, Like I'm I'm a human being, You're like, 0:15:32.080 --> 0:15:34.240 and then you're putting another category of not only on 0:15:34.320 --> 0:15:37.840 my woman that isn't supposed to be a human being, 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:40.880 but I'm also an artist, which is a whole other 0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:45.720 there's a whole side, another bag of expectations, like and listen, 0:15:45.760 --> 0:15:47.520 this isn't a what was me? I love my life? 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:50.720 And I got to a point where I got to like, oh, okay, 0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:53.160 but the beginning was really hard. It's a transition, just 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.600 like anything, it's changed, yeah, and I was really feeling 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.280 the growing pains of that. And then I realized the 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:03.040 big realized nation was people are going to fall in 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:06.440 love with the version of you they have in their head. 0:16:07.240 --> 0:16:11.720 So and even like our closest our parents are the 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:14.800 person you fall in love with, it's they're falling in 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:17.920 love with a version of you that they've created, and like, 0:16:18.200 --> 0:16:22.720 only you get to fully intimately know you. And so 0:16:23.120 --> 0:16:26.080 what I stopped doing was making all of my fans 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:29.480 wrong for loving me, because I'm like you, I'm like 0:16:29.720 --> 0:16:33.840 when you know yourself deeply, like stop it, stop it. 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:35.320 And then you get to a point where you like, 0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:38.840 oh no, I'm gonna just let them love whoever they've 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:42.160 kind of made me out to be in their head, 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:45.680 and I'm going to be her for them tonight. And 0:16:46.320 --> 0:16:51.680 suddenly I was able to like process everything so much 0:16:51.760 --> 0:16:55.200 better because everyone views you in their own way, and 0:16:55.320 --> 0:16:58.560 so it's it's it's is it a whole interesting concept, 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:01.760 but it's so true too. Yeah, even like your friends 0:17:01.800 --> 0:17:06.040 are like if your friend met you prior to the 0:17:06.160 --> 0:17:10.359 summer of growth, you know, would be a different person. 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:12.800 They might even be like now, they'd be like, well, 0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:15.400 why are you acting this way? And you'd be like, well, 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:18.520 I'm evolving and I'm changing, and but they have a 0:17:18.640 --> 0:17:22.960 version of you and they love and so like. I 0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:25.199 find Actually that's why a lot of friendships, it's like 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:27.680 the best test of those friendships. It's like if you 0:17:27.720 --> 0:17:30.560 can grow together instead of just stay stagnant or let 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:34.080 you grow and continue to like, let their love evolve 0:17:34.200 --> 0:17:38.439 while you evolve. Just got deep. It's called let's be 0:17:38.520 --> 0:17:41.920 real real. We're so real. Guys, were so quirky, were 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:46.040 so deep. Oh my god, we're so quirky quirky. I 0:17:46.080 --> 0:17:52.119 don't even try, my god, I would never Okay, we 0:17:52.160 --> 0:17:54.240 have to take a quick break. But when we come back, 0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:56.760 so much more to talk about, from how the media 0:17:56.840 --> 0:18:00.159 treats people in the spotlight, your new album raight, and 0:18:00.560 --> 0:18:02.640 how you bounce back if things don't go your way. 0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:11.760 We'll be right back and we're back. One of the 0:18:11.800 --> 0:18:14.080 things that that's so interesting you bring up because one 0:18:14.080 --> 0:18:16.720 of the main themes I wanted to discuss my podcast 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:19.080 is I feel like the media and society we put 0:18:19.080 --> 0:18:21.040 these people on a pedestal and then we forget their 0:18:21.119 --> 0:18:24.600 human beings, that that bleed that they're just human. And 0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:26.600 I feel like something that I'm really trying to do 0:18:26.720 --> 0:18:30.680 is let everyone know that, because sometimes when I see headlines, 0:18:30.840 --> 0:18:33.320 I'm like, you're not treating them like a human being. 0:18:33.359 --> 0:18:37.040 You're treating them like an object. And I feel like, 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:40.520 also when you see these tabloids, especially with people like 0:18:40.600 --> 0:18:42.840 my age or stuff that are going through stuff, and 0:18:42.880 --> 0:18:45.639 it's then they're covering and I'm like, but they're just 0:18:45.680 --> 0:18:47.879 a teenager, And I feel like we should all be 0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:50.440 more accepting of that. Everyone's just going through their own 0:18:50.440 --> 0:18:54.120 thing and we should just all accept people as people. Yeah, 0:18:54.440 --> 0:18:57.919 I mean, wouldn't that be nice? Wouldn't that be so nice? 0:18:56.760 --> 0:19:01.080 That's an ideal where I think. I think part of 0:19:01.119 --> 0:19:04.400 it like you really have to take responsibility on your 0:19:04.400 --> 0:19:07.320 own end, because the world is not going to jump 0:19:07.320 --> 0:19:12.359 onto that bandwagon. Like I mean, hey, you're going to 0:19:12.480 --> 0:19:15.240 change like whoever is listening to this podcast, You're going 0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:17.760 to change their lives and you're gonna impact them in 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:21.320 a you know, intimate and cool way. At some point 0:19:21.359 --> 0:19:23.520 I had to go, I'm going to stop being mad 0:19:23.560 --> 0:19:26.560 at the world all the time for doing what it 0:19:26.560 --> 0:19:31.040 always does and and not say like, hey, it's okay 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:33.400 for you to treat me wrong or anything. Not say that. 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:36.040 And you you do advocate for yourself, and you do 0:19:36.600 --> 0:19:38.399 stand up for you what you believe, and you do 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:43.000 make a podcast that creates change and impact. But at 0:19:43.040 --> 0:19:44.639 some point I had to be like, I'm gonna stop 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:48.639 being mad at the world for like telling me that 0:19:48.720 --> 0:19:52.320 getting older is ugly or that you can't be successful 0:19:52.359 --> 0:19:56.440 as you get older as a woman, and like, yeah, 0:19:56.480 --> 0:19:58.520 I hate that. Yeah I'm always going to hate that, 0:19:58.640 --> 0:20:02.399 but so a waste of my time and energy. You 0:20:02.480 --> 0:20:04.560 just gotta do what you gotta do to get by, 0:20:04.720 --> 0:20:06.879 and you just gotta not listen to it and do 0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:08.439 your own thing because that's all you can ever do 0:20:09.960 --> 0:20:13.160 and try to like you, definitely, I definitely grew thicker 0:20:13.200 --> 0:20:16.880 skin in my twenties, for sure. How do you not 0:20:17.200 --> 0:20:20.119 from everything you've been through though it makes you the 0:20:20.160 --> 0:20:22.640 person you are today? Are you grateful for all those 0:20:22.640 --> 0:20:25.399 experiences and the person you've become today or do you 0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:30.320 wish some of them didn't happen? Oh that's a good question. 0:20:31.440 --> 0:20:38.040 Well mm hmm, Yeah, I mean I really love myself. 0:20:38.240 --> 0:20:41.119 I really like who I am. I got there in 0:20:41.160 --> 0:20:43.679 my twenties. That was a good thing. I hope you 0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:46.160 are there or you get there. That's one of those 0:20:46.200 --> 0:20:47.720 things like when you look in the mirror and you're like, 0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:51.880 she's dope, you should like, what a waste of time 0:20:51.920 --> 0:20:54.960 to think anything else, because you're stuck with you forever. 0:20:55.200 --> 0:20:57.000 So wherever you go, there you are, you might as 0:20:57.040 --> 0:21:03.040 well like her, you know. Um, But I so I 0:21:03.080 --> 0:21:06.359 am this person that I like because of all the 0:21:06.440 --> 0:21:08.560 things that I went through, So no, I probably wouldn't 0:21:08.560 --> 0:21:12.520 have like asked for them. But like my brother died 0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:16.280 two years ago in the middle of the pandemics, Like 0:21:16.480 --> 0:21:19.919 there's so many other like so many things happen in 0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:21.960 my twenty I'm like, now, I'm You're like giving me 0:21:22.000 --> 0:21:24.920 a moment to have perspective over the last how many 0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:27.720 of years of my life And I'm like, wow, down, 0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:31.760 isn't that cool to see how far you've come and grown? Yeah, 0:21:32.000 --> 0:21:34.919 it's really Yeah, I appreciate you for giving me a 0:21:34.960 --> 0:21:38.320 moment out of my day to think you need to 0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:42.679 acknowledge it. Absolutely you do. Thanks. This is good for me, 0:21:42.920 --> 0:21:45.720 of course, because like we could we go through everything, 0:21:45.760 --> 0:21:48.000 and like, if we don't appreciate and learn from it, 0:21:48.080 --> 0:21:50.359 then the only way of failing is not getting back up. 0:21:50.880 --> 0:21:56.480 That's the only way you fail. Quote. I love that absolutely. 0:21:56.520 --> 0:21:58.920 The only way you're failing is if you don't get 0:21:58.920 --> 0:22:01.680 back up. It's not if you fall you just get 0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:03.960 back up. Oh no, because the fall is inevitable. No, 0:22:04.080 --> 0:22:06.080 the fault like it's gonna happen. You might as well 0:22:06.119 --> 0:22:09.400 embrace it, just like embrace the awkwardness. I've actually been 0:22:09.400 --> 0:22:12.200 trying to this. I've been trying to live by two 0:22:12.200 --> 0:22:14.720 things as a reason, which my friend told me, the 0:22:14.760 --> 0:22:17.400 one percent rule, which is to do something that makes 0:22:17.400 --> 0:22:19.720 yourself one percent better in one aspect of your life 0:22:19.720 --> 0:22:22.520 every day. So it could be something small like going 0:22:22.560 --> 0:22:24.959 to the gym or doing yoga or doing something that 0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:27.320 helps move a goal forward. And then just being comfortable 0:22:27.359 --> 0:22:31.280 with the uncomfortable. Ah so one thing. Yeah. The second 0:22:31.400 --> 0:22:32.440 is to do one thing that makes you a little 0:22:32.440 --> 0:22:36.520 bit uncomfortable. Okay, how's that been going? My goodness, it's 0:22:36.560 --> 0:22:41.119 been so stressful. Actually, it's been making me so uncomfortable. 0:22:41.280 --> 0:22:44.520 But the universe, I've never been more. I've never live 0:22:44.640 --> 0:22:47.439 my life. I truly like I have just felt like 0:22:47.560 --> 0:22:49.840