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Speaker 1: Hey, the folks in this episode of Amy and TJ,

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Speaker 1: can you tell the difference between lust and love? Maybe

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Speaker 1: you're in love or in lust right now. We're about

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Speaker 1: to help you figure out which one it is. And

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Speaker 1: without everybody, welcome to this opus episode of Amy and TJ.

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Speaker 1: Can you already robes define what is? What is being

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Speaker 1: in lust and what is being in love?

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Speaker 2: I think initially it's hard to know the difference because

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Speaker 2: I think a lot of times you're in lust first

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Speaker 2: and it develops into love.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I think that is a very.

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Speaker 1: Common So you can transition, so you can do both.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I do think so.

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Speaker 2: And I think it's very obvious when that lust doesn't

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Speaker 2: turn into love, because eventually lust does fade.

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Speaker 1: The lust fades after how long I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I don't know. Is there a consensus on how long

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Speaker 3: lust lasts?

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Speaker 1: What did you what is yours? You said lust will fade?

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Speaker 2: So you know, I've actually looked this up because I

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Speaker 2: think we've had a conversation about this.

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Speaker 1: You and you googled when lust goes away?

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Speaker 3: I think I have.

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Speaker 2: I think I have it in the past two years.

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Speaker 2: When is this going to end? To know, I need

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Speaker 2: to know when it's all going to fall apart. No,

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Speaker 2: I think it depends on the person you're with, you know.

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Speaker 2: I think I would like to believe. I would like

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Speaker 2: to believe that if you're with the right person, you

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Speaker 2: will always feel lustful about them throughout your life. Like

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Speaker 2: I think there are some people who have wonderful sex

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Speaker 2: lives that go throughout their marriages, and that is a goal,

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Speaker 2: but it doesn't always happen well.

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Speaker 1: And again we're going to help let's say we're going

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Speaker 1: to help people figure that out. Our producer Andy has

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Speaker 1: found the great list in which they are true or

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Speaker 1: false questions that you can need to ask yourself about

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Speaker 1: your relationship. And the more true answers you have, you're

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Speaker 1: probably in love. The more false answers you're probably in lust.

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Speaker 1: Got to get into that in a second, que.

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Speaker 2: I didn't get to ask you how you would define, like,

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Speaker 2: how would you distinguish between love and lust? And how

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Speaker 2: do you know which one you're in?

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Speaker 1: I see, I have a very difficult time with the

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Speaker 1: in love. I can't nail that necessarily because it's for

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Speaker 1: most folks. I don't think you can define and it's

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Speaker 1: always just a feeling, right, And I always considered love

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Speaker 1: an active verb. It's not. I can say I love

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Speaker 1: you all day long, and plenty of people do, and

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Speaker 1: then they go act in all kinds of atrocious ways.

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Speaker 1: So I think you show somebody love, love is actively

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Speaker 1: doing this, doing that, showing concerns, showing care, showing I guess,

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Speaker 1: giving safety. There are so many things we do to

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Speaker 1: show love that go beyond that statement I love you.

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Speaker 2: Is it selfless? I mean, I think because lust isn't selfless.

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Speaker 2: Lust is more selfish, right, but love is selfless. I

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Speaker 2: think when you do things. Someone I read somewhere someone

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Speaker 2: said love is choosing to be at your best when

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Speaker 2: the other person is at their worst. That's a hard

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Speaker 2: thing to do, but you do it because you love

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Speaker 2: them and you know them, and you know they're not

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Speaker 2: in a good way. And instead of reacting to that

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Speaker 2: in a negative way, you go high and they go low.

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Speaker 3: And that's love.

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Speaker 1: We reckon. Look, everybody has aired in some way along

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Speaker 1: along the way, and we don't always get it right.

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Speaker 1: But I think that is a good way to go

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Speaker 1: about and a good thing to to shoot for.

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Speaker 2: It.

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Speaker 1: It's very hard to do, it's very hard times. But

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Speaker 1: in lust, I mean what is that just a hot attraction?

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Speaker 1: Is that all that definition is?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you want to have sex with the person you want,

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Speaker 2: you want to get it on with them.

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Speaker 1: Okay, but that bid then gets wrapped up into a

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Speaker 1: very strong and can feel like a strong emotional bond.

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Speaker 1: But so how do you make the separation? Is it time?

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Speaker 1: Can you do you need time to realize you're in

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Speaker 1: love with somebody? But it doesn't. I mean it takes

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Speaker 1: two drinks to figuys you might be in lust?

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Speaker 2: Correct I No, I do think time is and you

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Speaker 2: have to ask yourself. You know, if if that person

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Speaker 2: wanted me to do something I didn't want to do,

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Speaker 2: or I had to go somewhere I didn't want to go, like,

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Speaker 2: would I be willing to say I love you enough

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Speaker 2: to go or to do that?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 2: I think it's when you're having to do something maybe

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Speaker 2: that doesn't feel exciting or fun or something you'd want

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Speaker 2: to do, and you say I'm going to do it

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Speaker 2: because I love that person. I think there are those

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Speaker 2: moments where when you have difficult moments, that's when you

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Speaker 2: know when it's all happy and great, it's maybe hard

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Speaker 2: to distinguish.

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Speaker 3: It's when you have the tougher times. I think that's

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Speaker 3: when you know, how.

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Speaker 1: Long does it take to determine if you're in love?

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Speaker 1: Because I know if you're a love at first site

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Speaker 1: fan or a person some believe in it, fine, but

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Speaker 1: doesn't you don't you have to go for a while

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Speaker 1: in a relationship to know whether or not you're in

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Speaker 1: love or is it, in your opinion, that feeling that

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Speaker 1: people talk about.

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Speaker 2: Now, just know, I don't think love is a feeling.

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Speaker 2: I think it's a I think it's a choice, and

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Speaker 2: I think it's a decision. And I think lust is

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Speaker 2: a feeling. I think that's what I believe.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, and you know it's cool. We never

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Speaker 3: had to have this.

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Speaker 2: We'll take we'll take the test along with all of you,

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Speaker 2: or the quiz along with all of you.

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Speaker 1: And we haven't seen you. We need to let folks know.

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Speaker 1: Andy doesn't not let us see these ahead of time.

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Speaker 1: So it's we have no idea what we're about to

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Speaker 1: talk about.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we have no idea, but I will say we

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Speaker 2: have a very unique relationship, you and I because we

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Speaker 2: were just friends. Sex was not on the table. There

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Speaker 2: was nothing physical about it. It was just an emotional connection.

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Speaker 2: And I did love you as a friend always. So

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Speaker 2: it's interesting how that built up. And that's not a

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Speaker 2: typical situation, but it's a pretty cool one. I've never

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Speaker 2: had a relationship like this, and it's it's been so

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Speaker 2: incredibly rewarding to not have the lust be a part

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Speaker 2: of the love. I think that's pretty unique.

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Speaker 1: Wow, that is That is touching and so offensive because yeah,

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Speaker 1: they see they got it immediately.

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Speaker 2: There you can have You can be attracted to somebody

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Speaker 2: but not be in a position where that would ever

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Speaker 2: even be an option.

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Speaker 4: So attraction to someone So.

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Speaker 1: Wait a minute, Okay, let's let's let's unpack this as

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Speaker 1: you like to say. You can have an attraction to someone.

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Speaker 1: So are you saying you were attracted to me?

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Speaker 3: Yes, you're a physically attractive person.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So these are two things. Being attracted to somebody

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Speaker 1: and then calling someone attractive. I can look out that

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Speaker 1: window right there and say, oh, that's a good looking woman,

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Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean I want to be involved with

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Speaker 1: her physically. Right. You can look at someone, I see

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Speaker 1: you look a good looking guy. He's an attractive guy,

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Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean I want to get it on.

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Speaker 1: So is there a do you make that distinction?

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Speaker 2: Yes, and I think I knew you, so the attraction

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Speaker 2: wasn't just physical, so yes, But you can say, like, wow,

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Speaker 2: you know that person I could be attracted to if

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Speaker 2: things were different in a different in a different time,

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Speaker 2: in a different place. I mean, isn't love so much

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Speaker 2: also about timing as well? So yeah, I mean you might.

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Speaker 2: It's just but I think if everyone's honest with themselves,

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Speaker 2: you felt an attraction to somebody, but it doesn't necessarily

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Speaker 2: mean you're going to act on it or you're in

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Speaker 2: a position to act on it.

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Speaker 3: So yes, that can be an undercurrent.

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Speaker 2: But our relationship was was really just about love in

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Speaker 2: a way.

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Speaker 3: We leaned on each other a.

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Speaker 1: Ship and there was a solid, oh my god, years

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Speaker 1: and years foundational relationship to get here. So love or lust?

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Speaker 1: How many folks heard us say that? And right now

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Speaker 1: are trying to make that call. They're in a relationship

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Speaker 1: right now. I'm like, am I in love with this

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Speaker 1: person or I'm in lust? Right now?

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Speaker 3: I think a lot of people ask them.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so we got ten questions now, Andy that you

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Speaker 1: need to ask yourself, and these are true or false.

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Speaker 1: We haven't heard them, so we will take this test

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Speaker 1: along with everybody. So go ahead, Andy, hook us up,

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Speaker 1: all right.

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Speaker 4: Number one, I am attracted and connected to my partner physically, mentally, emotionally,

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Speaker 4: and spiritually all of them.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that's absolutely true.

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Speaker 1: I was waiting him to lift one, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: we would check teck tech tech check yes, true, true,

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Speaker 1: true in all of those ways. Say them again.

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Speaker 4: Though physically, physically, yes, mentally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually yes.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. We see eye to eye on those things and

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Speaker 1: we do. Yeah. Oh my god. All right, So I said,

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Speaker 1: I can't imagine someone though, making that deterurm. If you're

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Speaker 1: not connected to the person in those key ways, that

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Speaker 1: means you probably haven't been challenged yet and you are

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Speaker 1: just having fun and maybe it is just lustful.

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Speaker 2: I mean, you usually don't have too many challenges in

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Speaker 2: the first three months or so, so that's when maybe

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Speaker 2: you don't know.

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Speaker 1: Right. Number two true or false.

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Speaker 4: The thought of my partner makes me happy.

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Speaker 3: Oh hell, yeah, okay, that's good.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's okay, we're so lame, all right, Yes, La,

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Speaker 1: that's cute. But that's the natural reactions to that. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it makes me happy to think about when you're some

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Speaker 1: way or doing something. Oh, she's with her friends, he's

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Speaker 1: having a good luck.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you know what's cool about that question? Just everyone,

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Speaker 2: I'm sure is in different phases of their relationship, in

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Speaker 2: different kinds of relationships. But wow, that's a powerful question

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Speaker 2: because you have an immediate, like this real response to it,

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Speaker 2: and I can think about other relationships where you would

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Speaker 2: have I would have had a different visceral reaction to it,

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Speaker 2: and that is a wake up call perhaps or at

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Speaker 2: least call to action to make you what do I

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Speaker 2: want to do and how do I want to handle this?

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Speaker 2: Because that was my immediate like like, I couldn't control it.

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Speaker 2: I didn't think about it. I just had a feeling

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Speaker 2: when you said that. So that's interesting for anyone listening

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Speaker 2: if you ask yourself that, what was it?

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Speaker 5: Again?

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Speaker 4: The thought of my partner makes me happy.

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Speaker 2: That is such a good good, true or false? And

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Speaker 2: I think that is a wake up call.

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Speaker 1: Good or bad.

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Speaker 4: I feel happy about myself when I'm with my partner

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Speaker 4: and when I'm without them.

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Speaker 2: Yeh, that's very cool, Okay, I yes obviously to the

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Speaker 2: first one. True, second one, I'm I have had some

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Speaker 2: separation anxiety. I will be honest, I wish that I

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Speaker 2: and I know you absolutely are so happy on your own.

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Speaker 2: I'm getting better at it, but I think we have

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Speaker 2: leaned on each other so much and I'm aware of

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Speaker 2: that and I am working on that because I'm happy,

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Speaker 2: but I'm not as happy.

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Speaker 3: That is true.

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Speaker 4: Say the last part be I feel happy about my

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Speaker 4: self when I'm with my partner and when I'm without them.

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Speaker 3: Oh, happy with myself?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 4: Oh, I think it's like, yes, you love, but you

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Speaker 4: also have your own identity kind.

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Speaker 2: Of oh well, yes, oh yes, yes, yes, okay, yes,

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Speaker 2: I thought you just meant like how I felt when

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Speaker 2: I wasn't with him. It's not that I'm miserable. It's

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Speaker 2: just that I'm happier when I am with him. But

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Speaker 2: how I feel about myself doesn't change.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that is the answer. It shouldn't change, and I

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Speaker 1: would argue it should never change. No matter who you're

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Speaker 1: dating and how good whatever is happening, you should be

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Speaker 1: on solid footing and not depend on, in my opinion,

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Speaker 1: depend on any I shouldn't need you to make me happy, correct,

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Speaker 1: all right, and if you go away, I should And

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Speaker 1: all of a sudden, now I'm not happy that's where

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Speaker 1: you land, and it's there is none. I always think

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Speaker 1: people should either people either enhance your happiness or they

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Speaker 1: take away from it. And if they take away from it,

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Speaker 1: they should probably not be in your life right.

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Speaker 2: And if you're leaning on them too much to make

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Speaker 2: you happy, that's a problem too. So yes, I actually

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Speaker 2: the enhancement is the great way. The way I was

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Speaker 2: responding to that. I feel like when I'm with him,

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Speaker 2: my joy is enhanced. That is a good way to

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Speaker 2: put it.

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Speaker 4: Yes. Do you think he thinks a while to get there?

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Speaker 2: I think sometimes it depends on why you're in a

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Speaker 2: relationship or who you're in a relationship with, and where

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Speaker 2: you are in your life. And a lot of times

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Speaker 2: there have been moments, and they've been unhealthy ones where

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Speaker 2: you lean on someone to try and pull yourself up

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Speaker 2: out of a bad place. And that's never a good

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Speaker 2: idea because that's not fair to the other person and

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Speaker 2: it's not fair to you because you're not you're not

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Speaker 2: going to be in a good place going forward. That

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Speaker 2: I have seen that happen, I have been a part

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Speaker 2: of that dynamic, perhaps in the other way, and no

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Speaker 2: one wins, And I think that's a wake up call

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Speaker 2: to ask yourself that that's a really important question to

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Speaker 2: ask yourself.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we never had that. You asked take a while

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Speaker 1: to get there. We just there were some things we

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Speaker 1: had immediately because of our friendship, and that was that

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Speaker 1: type of connect. We didn't have to build up to something,

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Speaker 1: if you will.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we had it.

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Speaker 2: We spent a lot of time apart a decade we

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Speaker 2: were coming and going and so yeah, we're used to that.

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Speaker 2: But I do think sometimes it's it's just it's an

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Speaker 2: I think it's an important question to ask yourself to

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Speaker 2: evaluate where you are.

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Speaker 1: We're three four, weren't number four four?

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Speaker 4: And it's I am free to be my true self

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Speaker 4: in my relationship.

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Speaker 1: I wish you would stop being so much of yourself.

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Speaker 4: That's true.

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Speaker 1: True, that's so damn true. That's over the top true.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, oh wow, it's a lot, a lot.

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Speaker 1: You know, you're a lot.

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Speaker 3: I know, I know I'm a lot, but I'm a

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Speaker 3: lot of fun. I'm a lot, a lot of thing.

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Speaker 1: It all comes with it. Saying you a lot was

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Speaker 1: not a negative, right, So it's you are now. I

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Speaker 1: don't think and I think there have been probably times

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Speaker 1: like baby, we we don't have to be this close. Uh,

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Speaker 1: back off some of these things. I don't need to

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Speaker 1: see that, need to hear that. Yeah, you know you are.

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Speaker 1: This is not an issue of ours.

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Speaker 3: So neither one of us is holding back our flaws

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Speaker 3: or are crazy. No, we're authentically ourselves.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you were catching my vomit not too long ago

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Speaker 1: and treating my foot and helping me walk down the

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Speaker 1: street cleaning bird shit off of my head. Literally, that's true.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, I think you've seen me at I was

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Speaker 1: I was limping down the street with bird shit on

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Speaker 1: my head. I think you've seen me at my work.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, No, and you've watched me vomit into a planter.

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Speaker 2: Well yeah, exactly, that's from running. That was not because

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Speaker 2: I had a fun night.

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Speaker 5: That was actually over exertion from a hot run. Just

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Speaker 5: want to point that out.

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Speaker 1: Isn't it funny that you wanted to make shit? No, no, no, y'all.

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Speaker 1: I can handle my drink.

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Speaker 2: But apparently profusely sweating and he I'm not so good

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Speaker 2: at sometimes.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we're good on that. We're golding on that one.

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Speaker 4: But do you also think that your true self can

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Speaker 4: change depending on your relationship?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely?

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Speaker 4: Like your expectations of yourself like that can also change

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Speaker 4: as well.

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Speaker 1: See, I just think your true self is what it is,

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Speaker 1: and you decide to alter it around this crowd or

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Speaker 1: that crowd. If you need to alter who you are

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Speaker 1: to be around somebody, you should probably ask some questions

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Speaker 1: about that relationship.

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Speaker 3: That's a problem. I mean you and I.

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Speaker 2: Obviously everyone alters what they present to people in a

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Speaker 2: group setting.

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Speaker 3: Like you'll say, Okay, I gotta go put on my

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Speaker 3: happy face.

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Speaker 2: Right now, but in front of me you can be

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Speaker 2: miserable and that's okay, But that's actually a good sign.

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Speaker 1: That's so funny the number of times we've had to

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Speaker 1: have that conversation recently.

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Speaker 3: Oh God, all right, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, baby, I'm gonna turn it on. Don't worry. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna I got it. I got it, I got it.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna embarrass you. It's gonna be.

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Speaker 3: That's exactly what you say.

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Speaker 2: But the cool thing is to know that you can

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Speaker 2: actually say what you really think and how you really

338
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Speaker 2: feel and the mood you're really in with that person

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Speaker 2: that actually is.

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Speaker 3: That's an important part of it.

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Speaker 4: Number five. I like who I am in my relationship,

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Speaker 4: Like who.

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Speaker 1: I am you know what, I will, I will damn.

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Speaker 1: This is this is to being related. Sabine is getting

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Speaker 1: a benefit of a happy and healthy daddy that she

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Speaker 1: didn't have before you and I were in a relationship. Now,

347
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Speaker 1: that's not an indictment of anything else or anybody else,

348
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Speaker 1: anywhere else or anything, but where I was and to

349
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Speaker 1: get right and to get healthy has now been a

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Speaker 1: great benefit to Sabine. And to see me in a

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Speaker 1: happy and healthy relationship has been a great benefit to Sabine,

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Speaker 1: And it shows up the results are there with her.

353
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Speaker 1: She is just incredible right now. So yeah, I love

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Speaker 1: who I am, but I was becoming that person and

355
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Speaker 1: getting healthier, and you were a part of that before

356
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Speaker 1: we even started dating, of me getting healthy and getting okay.

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Speaker 1: So at this point I was, I was becoming that

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Speaker 1: person and who I am, and when I'm around you,

359
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Speaker 1: I am. There's nothing about me I don't like. There

360
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,360
Speaker 1: are other people I have been around. I'm not to

361
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Speaker 1: even say any relationship, just generally people like why did

362
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:01,960
Speaker 1: I just go along with that?

363
00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:02,440
Speaker 5: Right?

364
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,440
Speaker 1: Like I had to just dut me? But no, that's

365
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,520
Speaker 1: not the case with you all.

366
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Speaker 3: And I would say true for me as well.

367
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Speaker 2: I like who I am when I am with TJ.

368
00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:15,080
Speaker 2: Because I think when you do have the right person

369
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Speaker 2: who is you can have film with, you can be

370
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Speaker 2: supported by who you can go through life with and

371
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Speaker 2: are very comfortable.

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Speaker 3: I get to be myself way you are like I don't.

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Speaker 2: I'm not as angry, I'm not as bitter, I'm not

374
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:34,280
Speaker 2: as quick to just let little things get under my skin.

375
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Speaker 2: You get to be the best version of yourself when

376
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Speaker 2: you're with the right person. I think like they do

377
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:43,120
Speaker 2: enhance you. I think the biggest point I can make

378
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,120
Speaker 2: with this is my mom when you and I went

379
00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,240
Speaker 2: to go hang out with my mom and dad, and

380
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,960
Speaker 2: my mom said to me, with tears in her eyes,

381
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Speaker 2: I feel like I got my amy back. I feel

382
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Speaker 2: like I got the amy from high school back, that

383
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,560
Speaker 2: girl who was ready to take on the world, who

384
00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:01,480
Speaker 2: was positive, who was almost happy, go lucky. And she

385
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,520
Speaker 2: was just listening, I think, hearing us laugh and tease

386
00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:08,159
Speaker 2: and joke and just take things lightheartedly. And when she

387
00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:10,440
Speaker 2: said that to me, that really struck me, because sometimes

388
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,800
Speaker 2: we don't realize who we are in a relationship or

389
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,679
Speaker 2: how we've changed in a relationship because of whatever the energy,

390
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,920
Speaker 2: the dynamics whatever they are. But when other people who

391
00:17:20,960 --> 00:17:25,120
Speaker 2: love you and know you recognize it, that's a huge compliment.

392
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,399
Speaker 2: And that happened, and that I remember really touching me

393
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Speaker 2: and has stayed with me.

394
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Speaker 1: Wow, we are I think we might be in love

395
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:35,560
Speaker 1: maybe number six now.

396
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Speaker 4: Yes, I love myself just as much as I love

397
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Speaker 4: my partner.

398
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:41,000
Speaker 1: I love myself more.

399
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:42,639
Speaker 3: That is true.

400
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,600
Speaker 1: You have to. You absolutely should. In my port that

401
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:50,440
Speaker 1: should be nobody on the planet outside of kids. Possibly, Yeah,

402
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,479
Speaker 1: that you would ever imagine you love more than you

403
00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:56,159
Speaker 1: love yourself. You have to. I gotta be okay in

404
00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:59,040
Speaker 1: order to be of any use to you or anybody else.

405
00:17:59,080 --> 00:18:02,639
Speaker 1: So it starts with I would I would never again

406
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 1: outside of kids, would say it's just a weird statement

407
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,920
Speaker 1: to say I love blank more than I love myself.

408
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,159
Speaker 1: But but no, I wouldn't. I would never put that

409
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:11,720
Speaker 1: on you girl.

410
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I would say, it's absolutely true for me,

411
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,880
Speaker 2: I love myself as much as I love TJ. That's

412
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:20,560
Speaker 2: that's a true statement for me.

413
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:22,840
Speaker 4: Would you say this is the most you both have

414
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:24,080
Speaker 4: loved yourself?

415
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, and yes, A lot of that has nothing to

416
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:31,720
Speaker 1: do and no, excuse me, almost none of it has

417
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:35,800
Speaker 1: to do with our relationship, but you were very much

418
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:39,159
Speaker 1: a part of that in the friendship right getting to

419
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,440
Speaker 1: a good and healthy place. You helped me along as

420
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:44,200
Speaker 1: a friend, and I was, you know, I was finally

421
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:49,359
Speaker 1: worth a damn as a partner once we actually started dating.

422
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:52,119
Speaker 1: I was gotten good and healthy and was and was

423
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,680
Speaker 1: getting to where I needed to be. So yeah, I think,

424
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Speaker 1: I'm yeah, I think who.

425
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:05,480
Speaker 3: Is It's better now? I will say yes now.

426
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:09,720
Speaker 2: But going through the last two years, I had moments

427
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:15,040
Speaker 2: where I struggled because of the narrative that was being

428
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 2: spun about me and about us. Weighed on me and

429
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 2: I had to work through that. And that's not a

430
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:27,640
Speaker 2: bad thing because I had to basically shed I think

431
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,680
Speaker 2: a layer that all of us have on us, where

432
00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:31,800
Speaker 2: what other people say about us or what other people

433
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,959
Speaker 2: think about us affects how we think about ourselves. And

434
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:37,880
Speaker 2: I fell into a little bit of that spiral when

435
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 2: we were constantly in the headlines and people had the

436
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,880
Speaker 2: narrative wrong and were judgmental, and I felt the weight

437
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 2: of that. So I had to kind of go through

438
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,320
Speaker 2: that period, which I hadn't really felt much in my life,

439
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,159
Speaker 2: but I really had to go through that period, and

440
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:54,520
Speaker 2: I'm now at a place where, yes, I'm the best

441
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,720
Speaker 2: I've ever been in terms of the love I have

442
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,080
Speaker 2: for myself because I have learned to be kind to

443
00:19:59,119 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 2: myself and to forgive myself, and I think that's a

444
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 2: huge part of it too, and to not let what

445
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:06,880
Speaker 2: other people say about me define me and to not

446
00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:07,879
Speaker 2: give my power away.

447
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:18,239
Speaker 4: Number seven, I feel good about who my partner is.

448
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 3: True, very true.

449
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 2: I have loved knowing TJ in a way that I

450
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 2: don't think he shares with a lot of people. And

451
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:31,479
Speaker 2: I think TJ has a swagger about him, and he

452
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:35,640
Speaker 2: has a very healthy air of confidence about him.

453
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 3: And I think that.

454
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,280
Speaker 2: I love who you are because I see who you

455
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 2: are when no one's looking, And to me, that is

456
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,600
Speaker 2: the measure of a man.

457
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,840
Speaker 3: You don't show about You don't put on a.

458
00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:52,359
Speaker 2: You're not anything but yourself, and you actually even save

459
00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:56,119
Speaker 2: the sweeter sides of yourself for intimate moments when no

460
00:20:56,160 --> 00:20:58,359
Speaker 2: one else is looking. And I love that about you.

461
00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:01,000
Speaker 2: You're not telling everyone, look me, look what a great

462
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 2: guy I am. Look at this gesture I just made.

463
00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:08,119
Speaker 2: You know for my daughter or for my my girlfriend.

464
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:12,240
Speaker 2: You you don't showboat, and yet you are this amazing person.

465
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 3: But you you.

466
00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 2: Save it for the people who matter. You don't try

467
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 2: to announce it to the world or prove anything to anyone.

468
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:19,199
Speaker 3: And I love that.

469
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 1: And they're weird too many folks. People are shocked oftentimes

470
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 1: that I'm from Arkansas. They think I'm some city slicker,

471
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 1: they think, but right, they think I'm some flashy guy.

472
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:31,280
Speaker 1: Sure I have some sense of style, I wear decent suits.

473
00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,600
Speaker 3: Whatever, But okay, you're understable.

474
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,960
Speaker 1: Generally speaking, you to what to your point, you know

475
00:21:37,080 --> 00:21:41,320
Speaker 1: me better than anybody, and often frustrates me in conversation

476
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:44,439
Speaker 1: or disagreement to where I'm like, trust, you need to

477
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,399
Speaker 1: trust yourself right now that you know me and you

478
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 1: know good and hell, well what you're saying or thinking

479
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 1: ain't what is happening. Yeah, really, I really want you

480
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:57,120
Speaker 1: to trust that you know me. But I love who

481
00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,159
Speaker 1: you are, feel good about who my partner is. Yeah, yes,

482
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,000
Speaker 1: I could. It sounds like an insult sometimes, but I

483
00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 1: say it to you're in private all the time. I say, God,

484
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 1: why can't you be like this all the time? And

485
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,120
Speaker 1: when I was talking about you show right in public strength.

486
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:17,159
Speaker 1: You're a fighter, she's a badass, she's accomplished he's a professional.

487
00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,680
Speaker 1: She's worked away up the rank. You're all this tough toups.

488
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: She's running marathon, she did, he did, went through cancer battles,

489
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:27,680
Speaker 1: she's raising the kids, all this stuff. But you are

490
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,639
Speaker 1: this little girl behind the scenes where you are just

491
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:35,360
Speaker 1: the cleetest, the sweetest, cutest, kindest and just most playful

492
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: thing that I'm like, God, because I wish somebody please

493
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 1: come look at this, let me should I record this?

494
00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 1: But that is who you are, and you're the tough

495
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,080
Speaker 1: chick as well, but oftentimes you are you choose to

496
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,920
Speaker 1: show that other side. It's I love, love, love who

497
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 1: you are, and there is a balance that I obviously

498
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,000
Speaker 1: know better than anybody on the planet right now. So yeah, yeah,

499
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:55,240
Speaker 1: I do.

500
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 2: Like it's pretty cool when you get to actually know

501
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:02,200
Speaker 2: someone in those moments and you like them even more.

502
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:04,639
Speaker 3: And that's true for us.

503
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 1: Say you have these cute little and it's just oh,

504
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,199
Speaker 1: it breaks my heart because I'm like, why can't you

505
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:13,800
Speaker 1: do this all the time. It's just it's devastating. It's

506
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,119
Speaker 1: almost like I'm complaining that you're so sweet because you

507
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 1: don't do it all the time. You're a door Like

508
00:23:18,320 --> 00:23:21,359
Speaker 1: it's a little kid a playful imagine like just you're

509
00:23:21,440 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 1: just this cute, ast sweet as Oh it's doing and

510
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:25,040
Speaker 1: you're like.

511
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 3: Nobody would ever describe you as that, would they.

512
00:23:27,800 --> 00:23:31,400
Speaker 1: They wouldn't believe you. Yeah, and it is absolutely adorable.

513
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,160
Speaker 4: Do you think you owe it to your partner if

514
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,680
Speaker 4: you're starting to feel not good about them?

515
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:37,080
Speaker 1: I don't know.

516
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and yes I do.

517
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,520
Speaker 2: I do, because if you don't, you're just gonna breed resentment.

518
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:51,119
Speaker 2: We've talked about this. If you have something that that

519
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 2: needs to be addressed, if it is necessary because you

520
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 2: see it chipping away at your relationship, or you see

521
00:24:00,040 --> 00:24:02,840
Speaker 2: or feel resentment building, you have to. I think you

522
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,560
Speaker 2: owe it to the relationship and to the person to

523
00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:07,680
Speaker 2: say it in the nicest way possible.

524
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 1: You think you adhere to that?

525
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,680
Speaker 3: Usually in what way that I tell you?

526
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 1: No? No, no, that you actually say things in the nicest

527
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:20,040
Speaker 1: way possible. No, not always. We always say all that.

528
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:22,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, I always could do better at.

529
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:25,520
Speaker 1: That, But I'm not a yeller and a screamer. You're

530
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 1: you can get well. I don't know if your volume

531
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,240
Speaker 1: goes up more than normally.

532
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:36,119
Speaker 2: Is I'm allowed talker normally? But I I have you

533
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 2: obviously neither one of us know what the other was

534
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:43,159
Speaker 2: like in previous relationships with dynamics. But this is the

535
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:48,359
Speaker 2: This is the calmest relationship I've ever been in, and

536
00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:49,359
Speaker 2: I appreciate that.

537
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:53,000
Speaker 1: The calmest relationship you've ever been in. I don't know

538
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,800
Speaker 1: how to take that. It's a good thing, but you're

539
00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: not as explosive as usual.

540
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,120
Speaker 3: That's correct, That is correct.

541
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:04,440
Speaker 1: Lucky me, Andy Well set number eight.

542
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 4: If my partner were to lose their material possessions, I

543
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 4: would still love them and I'd still want to be

544
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 4: with them.

545
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 3: True, No, not even a question. We did lose a lot.

546
00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:18,360
Speaker 1: Give me a beat on this one. Well, you have

547
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:20,640
Speaker 1: to say in this moment, well, of course I would

548
00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 1: he over still right.

549
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:24,880
Speaker 2: I get that you would have to say that publicly,

550
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 2: but I can genuinely say that that does not matter

551
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 2: to me.

552
00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:30,600
Speaker 1: Well, the weird thing is there, neither one of us

553
00:25:30,680 --> 00:25:34,120
Speaker 1: is gaining any benefit from the other's possessions right now,

554
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:38,320
Speaker 1: that's true? Right, we canclude everything is separate, support ourselves

555
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,719
Speaker 1: and take care of ourselves. So what would be different?

556
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 1: You would just spend more nights over at my mince.

557
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,400
Speaker 1: I don't know what to say about.

558
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: It, right, because I don't contribute to your rent and

559
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 2: you don't contribute to mine.

560
00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 3: So we're not in.

561
00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,600
Speaker 2: That position yet. So if you lost everything, I guess

562
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 2: you'd just move in.

563
00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 3: But there's no expectation.

564
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,879
Speaker 2: For like what you're providing me financially or what you

565
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:04,680
Speaker 2: are providing I don't yeah, but I I that has

566
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 2: never mattered to me, like and I can say that

567
00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:11,720
Speaker 2: because I've had the ability to to take care of myself.

568
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:14,399
Speaker 2: If I didn't, then I understand how that could be

569
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 2: a very different answer. But I've I've been lucky enough

570
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 2: to be able to have enough skills, have an education,

571
00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:24,639
Speaker 2: and all those things that I know I shouldn't take

572
00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 2: for granted. And I've been able to support myself. So

573
00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 2: that's why I've been able to say that that has

574
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,840
Speaker 2: never been a part of the equation.

575
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,640
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think what material possessions could you lose?

576
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:35,880
Speaker 1: And I would miss.

577
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:37,840
Speaker 4: My car?

578
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,760
Speaker 3: It's about to my lease is up anyway, so the car.

579
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,520
Speaker 1: Like, what do you have that contributes to my like

580
00:26:46,560 --> 00:26:48,840
Speaker 1: A whow, I'm glass she has that because I don't

581
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 1: have What What would I miss if I don't have possessions?

582
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 1: I don't know. I really really don't there come. Oh,

583
00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,879
Speaker 1: I do love you for you. I didn't even realize

584
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 1: at this moment. Thank you for that question.

585
00:27:02,920 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 4: All right, number nine. I appreciate my partner and their quirks.

586
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:12,159
Speaker 2: Yes, true, true, And I think you've even said this.

587
00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:16,320
Speaker 2: The moment the things you do, your quirks but start

588
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 2: to become annoying to me, we're in trouble.

589
00:27:18,640 --> 00:27:21,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, you have said that to me. We all have quirks.

590
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,200
Speaker 1: What are yours? What are mine?

591
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 3: Well, I've told you this.

592
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 2: Your quarks like, okay, you are insistent on being not

593
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:33,119
Speaker 2: just on time, but early, so to the point where

594
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 2: it is a major issue for you.

595
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,399
Speaker 1: Call it a quirk to be early to something, to

596
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 1: be one of this flight.

597
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:43,159
Speaker 3: No not, I'm not talking about going to these to

598
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 3: be okay.

599
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 1: To the concert to make sure I'm there on time

600
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 1: for my daughter's recital. Yea passionate to make the reservation

601
00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: so they don't give it away, to make sure we

602
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:53,960
Speaker 1: get through the security line so we can get to

603
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 1: our seats for the concert.

604
00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:57,560
Speaker 4: What time do you actually show up to the airport early?

605
00:27:58,480 --> 00:27:59,199
Speaker 1: Here's a basis.

606
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,159
Speaker 3: It's a little quirky. Not everybody is like that.

607
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:06,520
Speaker 1: Basic rule. I want to eyeball my gate one hour

608
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 1: before the flight takes off, so that means I'm through security.

609
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:15,320
Speaker 1: I just want to eyeball my gate one hour before.

610
00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 3: By the way, I just have to say this, jaws

611
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,879
Speaker 3: have dropped. What that's very funny.

612
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,399
Speaker 1: This is no to be early. So this is a

613
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 1: problem for us.

614
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,439
Speaker 2: No, I just said it's a little quirky. So that's

615
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 2: because it is slightly obsessive.

616
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:35,720
Speaker 3: You have some OCD, which I think is really cute.

617
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,000
Speaker 2: You line up all of your you know, when you

618
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:40,959
Speaker 2: come over, You've got your wallet, you watch your pods,

619
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:41,800
Speaker 2: your chapstick.

620
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,200
Speaker 3: No, it's not. I think it's cute.

621
00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 2: I think it's a cute quirk and I always appreciate

622
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 2: a little bit of OCD. When you get upset, you

623
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,960
Speaker 2: start cleaning. That's quirky, but I think that's cute. And

624
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 2: I also know that you're upset because you start cleaning,

625
00:28:55,880 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 2: like you start scrubbing the bathtub when you're really upset

626
00:28:58,400 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 2: with me.

627
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:01,640
Speaker 1: So I can usually when life is out of order,

628
00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:03,320
Speaker 1: you know.

629
00:29:02,760 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 2: When you feel out of control, you start to control

630
00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:07,240
Speaker 2: what you can, which is how clean your apartment is,

631
00:29:07,440 --> 00:29:10,640
Speaker 2: which I think is a really healthy outlet. And then

632
00:29:10,880 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 2: your other quirk is that you you like to pop

633
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 2: your elbow. And I've talked about this and it's fine.

634
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:18,680
Speaker 2: That's just it's not that big of a deal.

635
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:24,040
Speaker 1: Wow, I didn't know I was such a quirky dude.

636
00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:26,320
Speaker 1: You don't have any baby.

637
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 3: I thought we were being honest with you.

638
00:29:28,960 --> 00:29:35,600
Speaker 1: Quirkless wonder, I don't. I don't even call them quirks

639
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:37,240
Speaker 1: you have. I don't know what you call these things.

640
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: You A lot of your quarks have to do with

641
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:42,800
Speaker 1: your your eating, that's true. You have some uh, you

642
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:44,320
Speaker 1: have some weird eating habits.

643
00:29:44,320 --> 00:29:48,680
Speaker 3: Some Yeah, I eat quickly and loudly, quick.

644
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: Loud, and it's I've never met someone who can have

645
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 1: so much food in them out that one jaw is

646
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:02,480
Speaker 1: actually poking out like a chipmunk. But well, then put

647
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,280
Speaker 1: more food in the same mouth. I don't get that.

648
00:30:07,040 --> 00:30:09,360
Speaker 1: So that's a quirky thing you do, and how you

649
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:10,080
Speaker 1: go about eating.

650
00:30:10,120 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 3: You said I was chip marking you.

651
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 1: It's it's uhrb. Now, it's a it's a thing you do.

652
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: You do a thing with your your nails. You you

653
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 1: do that pick thing drives me. It drives me great

654
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 1: because I can feel like my whole body will quiver

655
00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 1: when you're picking at your it's a weird.

656
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 2: Analystays it too, to the point where it's actually like unhealthy.

657
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: That's so, is that funny work? I mean you used

658
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,360
Speaker 1: to be late a lot. You don't do that.

659
00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 2: That's true because I work because it wasn't worth the reaction.

660
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:42,480
Speaker 1: I didn't know being being on time was a quirk.

661
00:30:42,520 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 1: I didn't get it. I didn't know that.

662
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:44,280
Speaker 3: It's not that.

663
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,000
Speaker 2: It's just you like to be early and expect others

664
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,360
Speaker 2: to as well, which is a little quirk.

665
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,000
Speaker 1: No, I expect them to be on time, but I'm

666
00:30:51,040 --> 00:30:54,080
Speaker 1: going to be early. That is different, so hard. Don't

667
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:57,000
Speaker 1: do that. Don't do that. I expect you to be

668
00:30:57,040 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 1: on time. I let you pick the time, so why.

669
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,320
Speaker 5: You Sometimes life happens and I start to get all

670
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:06,040
Speaker 5: stressed out of my oh my god, I have to

671
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 5: make sure I get there.

672
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,680
Speaker 1: Life does not happen in that way. When you're not

673
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,000
Speaker 1: there on time, you're saying to me that you do

674
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: not respect my time. There's a period, point blank. If

675
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: you do not show up on time, you are saying

676
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,520
Speaker 1: I don't give a damn about you, And it's the

677
00:31:20,600 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 1: utmost disrespect period off the jump. I have left meetings

678
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:29,160
Speaker 1: at that. We're at noon at twelve o three. I

679
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:29,760
Speaker 1: ain't waiting.

680
00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 3: Wow, see more jaws drop period.

681
00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why I don't make lunch plans with these

682
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,160
Speaker 1: two in the room, because they don't want to show

683
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 1: up on the time. Yes, so is that if that's

684
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 1: a quirk? I got it from my dad. My dad

685
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 1: used to you know what, my mom, you sound just

686
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 1: like my mom. She used to complain the whole time.

687
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 1: We're growing up, Like, dude, it's gonna be okay. We

688
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,120
Speaker 1: don't have to get there before the previews that the

689
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: previews started the.

690
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:57,920
Speaker 3: Movie we had the movies. Oh we get there before

691
00:31:57,920 --> 00:31:58,480
Speaker 3: the previews.

692
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 1: Well, well you should. Everybody does that, you should, they don't.

693
00:32:02,160 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 1: The previews are a big part of a movie experience.

694
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 1: We've gone sideways now. We were doing so good in

695
00:32:07,160 --> 00:32:08,040
Speaker 1: Love or and Lust.

696
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:13,720
Speaker 2: Oh lord, okay, but I have amended my quirk of

697
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:16,760
Speaker 2: being late for the sake of our relationship.

698
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 1: No, you're not lady any mornings. They're always on the time,

699
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:23,000
Speaker 1: so always together. So you're just rolling with me.

700
00:32:23,160 --> 00:32:23,560
Speaker 3: That's true.

701
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: What happened, sweetheart? Really? There was a was it on

702
00:32:27,520 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 1: the way to the airport, there was something that happened.

703
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: It wasn't a flat time, it was something. And you said, damn,

704
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:35,200
Speaker 1: I'm glad we left as early as we did.

705
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 2: Oh, I appreciate getting to the airport early now one percent,

706
00:32:38,480 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 2: because why start your vacation stressed out?

707
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 3: It's not worth it. I do agree.

708
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 2: And who doesn't love a nice mimosa at the bar

709
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,800
Speaker 2: right before it sets the It sets the mood for

710
00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 2: the whole, the whole vacation.

711
00:32:51,400 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: And if I can, I like to sit at a

712
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:56,800
Speaker 1: bar and see my yea gait. Yeah, I don't mess

713
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,240
Speaker 1: around the airport. Okay, sorry, all right, I'll work on

714
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:00,040
Speaker 1: that quirk. I'll do that.

715
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:02,440
Speaker 3: What that's hilarious.

716
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:07,000
Speaker 4: Number nine was a true but situation.

717
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 3: True true?

718
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, your quarks aren't driving me crazy?

719
00:33:11,680 --> 00:33:14,680
Speaker 3: Yeah no, no, no, he said, Yet that's fair. That's an

720
00:33:14,680 --> 00:33:15,400
Speaker 3: honest answer.

721
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:19,480
Speaker 4: And number ten is I'm happy for my partner when

722
00:33:19,480 --> 00:33:20,600
Speaker 4: good things come their way.

723
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:21,680
Speaker 1: Oh god, you're true.

724
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 2: Oh my, but that is an important one, because wow,

725
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:26,640
Speaker 2: isn't that telling If anyone has been in a relationship

726
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:27,400
Speaker 2: where that isn't true?

727
00:33:27,520 --> 00:33:32,680
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, Oh you not. That's okay. If anybody

728
00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 1: is not happy for the success and fortune of the

729
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:42,800
Speaker 1: person in relationship with go in that relationship today. That

730
00:33:42,960 --> 00:33:47,280
Speaker 1: is insanity, but it happens. I get it. But man,

731
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,680
Speaker 1: that is one to not to be upset to be

732
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:52,560
Speaker 1: bothered by somebody else doing well. I know there's ebbs

733
00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 1: and flows to relationship and sometimes someone's career is going

734
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: great and somebody's is not where they want it to be,

735
00:33:57,480 --> 00:33:59,480
Speaker 1: and just things happen. I get that, But you have

736
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 1: got to be the biggest cheerleader for the person you're

737
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 1: in a relationship with it.

738
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 2: And I think if you're the person who's feeling angry

739
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,480
Speaker 2: or resentful or jealous of your partner because they do

740
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,160
Speaker 2: have something, and you're saying yourself, wow, I can't feel

741
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,359
Speaker 2: joy for them, or I can't, you need to ask

742
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:17,280
Speaker 2: yourself why that's that's a point, like for either person,

743
00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 2: why do I.

744
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:20,880
Speaker 3: Feel this way? Because there's probably deperceded.

745
00:34:21,400 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 2: Then you realize and there might be things that have

746
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 2: been going on that you aren't acknowledging.

747
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:26,920
Speaker 3: So I think that's a really.

748
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 2: Real These are really good questions to ask yourself, because yeah,

749
00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 2: when you live enough life, you've had enough experiences and

750
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 2: enough relationships where I could say, wow, in some of

751
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:39,040
Speaker 2: my other relationships, I would have answered false, and that

752
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:40,600
Speaker 2: is a red flagause you.

753
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,280
Speaker 1: Weren't happy for the other person's success.

754
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,840
Speaker 2: No, I've been in the opposite situation where I have

755
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:50,480
Speaker 2: absolutely not felt support when things went well, and that

756
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:51,280
Speaker 2: is a red flag.

757
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:53,720
Speaker 1: It was a big old red flag.

758
00:34:53,800 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 5: Yep.

759
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:55,960
Speaker 4: How many of these do you think would have to

760
00:34:56,000 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 4: be false for you to switch? Because you pretty much

761
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,920
Speaker 4: for all ten it's love. It is you felt one

762
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 4: or two. We're even off, which you say, that's completely

763
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:07,560
Speaker 4: lust and I need to reevaluate, or do you think

764
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 4: it must be like five or six?

765
00:35:08,960 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: There's some of that that seem more important than critical

766
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:12,839
Speaker 1: than others, like there are some deal breakers in there.

767
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 2: Almost I would say that if you answered false to

768
00:35:15,719 --> 00:35:18,200
Speaker 2: some of those questions, or at least one of those questions,

769
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:20,640
Speaker 2: at the very least, that's a red flag. And I

770
00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:22,640
Speaker 2: think you need to ask yourself. It's the question why

771
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:27,680
Speaker 2: why is this? And why do I think this is happening?

772
00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,799
Speaker 2: Or what's the root of this? And so at the

773
00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 2: very least that that quiz is great because if you're

774
00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 2: honest with yourself and you really do the true falls,

775
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 2: I think you'll have a clearer picture of whether or

776
00:35:37,480 --> 00:35:39,720
Speaker 2: not this is a relationship that you want to continue

777
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,320
Speaker 2: in that if it's the real deal, can.

778
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 1: You let them hear the ten one more time? Menda absolutely.

779
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:48,000
Speaker 4: Number one, I am attracted and connected to my partner physically, mentally, emotionally,

780
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:51,359
Speaker 4: and spiritually. Number two. The thought of my partner makes

781
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,440
Speaker 4: me happy. Number three, that's the one.

782
00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 1: Yeah.

783
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:56,600
Speaker 4: Number three. I feel happy about myself when I'm with

784
00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:59,719
Speaker 4: my partner and when I'm without them. Number four. I

785
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:03,600
Speaker 4: am to be my true self in my relationship. Number five.

786
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:07,240
Speaker 4: I like who I am in my relationship. Number sixty six,

787
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:10,400
Speaker 4: I love myself just as much as I love my partner.

788
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,239
Speaker 4: Number seven. I feel good about who my partner is.

789
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:18,239
Speaker 4: Number eight. If my partner were to lose their material possessions,

790
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,600
Speaker 4: I would still love them and want to be with them.

791
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 4: Number nine. I appreciate my partner and their quirks. And

792
00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 4: number ten, I'm happy for my partner when good things

793
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:28,319
Speaker 4: come their way.

794
00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,320
Speaker 3: Those are great questions.

795
00:36:30,239 --> 00:36:32,759
Speaker 1: Actually are, And we didn't hear them at a time,

796
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,640
Speaker 1: and we never knew what was coming and didn't know

797
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,040
Speaker 1: the tone. But it sounds like somebody put some real

798
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:41,440
Speaker 1: thought behind those. But those are relative? Does my partner?

799
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,040
Speaker 1: Does it make me happy when I think about my partner?

800
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:46,799
Speaker 2: That's the one that really, that's the one that you

801
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:48,160
Speaker 2: can't deny because you will.

802
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:49,440
Speaker 3: Have a feeling immediately.

803
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 2: You will have a feeling that you didn't think about,

804
00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,360
Speaker 2: that you just experienced, and you need to own it,

805
00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,320
Speaker 2: and good or bad. That's a I think that question

806
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,400
Speaker 2: or that statement is really important.

807
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:02,319
Speaker 1: Anyway, we appreciate you as always for giving us a

808
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:05,960
Speaker 1: good conversation list and a good conversation topic. And folks,

809
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:07,560
Speaker 1: we hope you got something out of this today. I

810
00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:10,960
Speaker 1: think we certainly did as well. The hope you determined

811
00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 1: are you in love? Are you in a lust? For now?

812
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:15,000
Speaker 1: I hope?

813
00:37:15,239 --> 00:37:15,439
Speaker 2: Yeah?

814
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:17,440
Speaker 3: How many Robach thanks for listening, guys,