Speaker 1: Are you disappointed that maybe people didn't show up numbers
Speaker 1: wise the way they should have.
Speaker 2: It's a bigger question about society. It's why are we
Speaker 2: not showing up for women, women of color, queer people,
Speaker 2: fat people, brown and black people.
Speaker 1: Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought to you
Speaker 1: by boost Mobile. Let me introduce you properly. Shit, Yes,
Speaker 1: let's get professional. Let's do it.
Speaker 2: Let's be very serious and professional.
Speaker 1: Today's guest has built the career of telling it like
Speaker 1: it is. From beauty standards to dating to motherhood. She
Speaker 1: has never been afraid to say the quiet part out
Speaker 1: loud and make us laugh while she's doing it. She's
Speaker 1: carved out a lane that.
Speaker 2: Is entirely her own.
Speaker 1: From making history as the first woman to film a
Speaker 1: comedy special at Radio City Music Hall, that's right, that's
Speaker 1: pretty cool. Thank you so much. To adapting her best
Speaker 1: selling essay collection into the hit Netflix series Survival of
Speaker 1: the Thing Is, she is now back for her third
Speaker 1: and final season.
Speaker 2: Please welcome Michelle. Also, I gotta tell you what, It's
Speaker 2: not a New York Times bestselling book.
Speaker 1: Say best selling book, Yeah, but somebody's best selling book.
Speaker 2: But I love that people think it's the best selling
Speaker 2: because it sold pretty well, but it parlayed into something
Speaker 2: bigger than I could have imagined. And so that's why
Speaker 2: I always tell people, don't do something for a list. Wow,
Speaker 2: do it the way you want to do it. The
Speaker 2: time when the books came out and it wasn't and
Speaker 2: it didn't hit New.
Speaker 1: York Times Bestseller, did you think of that as something
Speaker 1: like you didn't achieve a certain.
Speaker 2: No, that it worked for you.
Speaker 1: But in the yeah, and sometimes we want something that
Speaker 1: we think is the important thing.
Speaker 2: I never I never wanted it, like I didn't mind
Speaker 2: if it happened. But I don't like when people put
Speaker 2: next like an unrealistic expectation on something that hasn't happened yet.
Speaker 2: That's like, I can't wait to have sex. I hope
Speaker 2: I have an orgasm. Why don't you just enjoy the
Speaker 2: moment instead of worrying about the company.
Speaker 1: You have sex and don't have an orgasm. Are you disappointed? No,
Speaker 1: because I'll figure out how to get there. But I'm
Speaker 1: just happy that I did the act because now sex
Speaker 1: for me is more about like mental health than anything. Okay,
Speaker 1: we can go down this road today.
Speaker 2: Set I got an emotional seatbelt. I know the sound
Speaker 2: guy is just like, uh oh, but but I but
Speaker 2: I also like, you don't do something for a list,
Speaker 2: don't know something for a list, but always get always
Speaker 2: have an orgasm, but.
Speaker 1: Always have an orgasm. But if you don't know that,
Speaker 1: you can still yes and enjoy the enjoy the process.
Speaker 2: That's pretty good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, your process has been a long one, it has.
Speaker 1: I said this to Brittany before we came in, and
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, being on your show is
Speaker 1: not the first time I met you, and you don't
Speaker 1: remember the first time we met. I'm going to remind
Speaker 1: you right now, and you're gonna remember. The year was
Speaker 1: twenty thirteen. We were Wendy Williams. No, we were both
Speaker 1: guests on The Best in Me in twenty thirteen. We
Speaker 1: were on some panel talking about god knows what. But
Speaker 1: when I think about this number one, I just pulled
Speaker 1: out the picture today and my hair is I can't
Speaker 1: even believe somebody lead you were the cute, super cutest
Speaker 1: you were, I promised, very cute. I can't remember for
Speaker 1: the life of me what we talked about, right, but
Speaker 1: I remember the feeling at that time me. I was
Speaker 1: probably still chasing dreams of like having my own talk show.
Speaker 2: I still thought that was something I needed or wanted
Speaker 2: at that time.
Speaker 1: That later changed, but that feeling of like and then
Speaker 1: seeing you at that stage in your career where you're
Speaker 1: like comedians successful, but you could I could feel you
Speaker 1: chasing something. Yes, that's the only reason we would both
Speaker 1: be there.
Speaker 2: Yes, the hunger, the light, the also like you know,
Speaker 2: it was a New York show, and I do love
Speaker 2: that Bethany opened up her show, her panel to people
Speaker 2: that didn't look like her, that had different voices than her,
Speaker 2: and that's what made did a really great New York show.
Speaker 2: I remember meeting you and I was just like, I
Speaker 2: can't believe, like, oh stop, no, truly because you know,
Speaker 2: I grew up listening to you, and so you've shaped
Speaker 2: like some of my you know, adulthood, my youth going
Speaker 2: into adulthood, right, and so I'm just like I can't believe,
Speaker 2: Like I really feel like that was kind of like
Speaker 2: a little like I made it mark when I started
Speaker 2: sitting on stages with people that I admired, So that
Speaker 2: was really cool. And I ride for Bethany because I
Speaker 2: remember doing her show, didn't have any money, would go
Speaker 2: to Macy's to buy blazers and then return them right
Speaker 2: after I did the show. And one blazer I wore
Speaker 2: it was like a cape blazer and it was cool.
Speaker 2: Didn't button you got makeup on it. No, Macy's returns everything,
Speaker 2: by the way, even in receipt. And I remember her
Speaker 2: saying that that blazer's nice on you. I'm like, it's
Speaker 2: one hundred and ten dollars. I can't afford it. And
Speaker 2: she's like, you should keep it, and I'm like, Bethany,
Speaker 2: I'm not you, I can't afford it. And as I
Speaker 2: was packing up to go, one of her assistants gave
Speaker 2: me cash out of the petty cash and she said,
Speaker 2: Bethany said, displazer looks good on you.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And the blazer doesn't fit, but I
Speaker 1: still have it. So did you return it and still
Speaker 1: keep the money? I just want I'm just wondering I
Speaker 1: used to have it. It's a sweet story, y know.
Speaker 1: Bethany gets a lot of shit because she's like free
Speaker 1: with her mouth sometimes and pisses people off sometimes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And as I said to you, when you walk in,
Speaker 1: one of the things I admire about you and women
Speaker 1: like you, it's comedians especially, you have to have like
Speaker 1: created a world where people expect you to say whatever
Speaker 1: you want to say. Yeah, And I don't always do that.
Speaker 2: I'm a little more careful.
Speaker 1: I care about people's feelings, and I feel like there's
Speaker 1: such a I have to be kind of diplomatic, and
Speaker 1: I try to be, you know, and sometimes you just
Speaker 1: want let them know, one of them motherfuckers. No.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm.
Speaker 1: Not saying I can't or I wouldn't. It's just sometimes
Speaker 1: I haven't really created I do create a platform where
Speaker 1: I could share and.
Speaker 2: Be vulnerable and be honest, try to be honest.
Speaker 1: But when I feel like being petty or talking some shit,
Speaker 1: like I don't necessarily feel that would be received too
Speaker 1: well because something else is it might be healing, you
Speaker 1: might for me and for other for others, for everybody,
Speaker 1: because you have to like sometimes you just gotta get
Speaker 1: it out now, Like, Look, the good thing about comedy
Speaker 1: is I am going to say the thing, but I'm
Speaker 1: also going to keep people's feelings in mind.
Speaker 2: And I think that is the huge difference between punching
Speaker 2: up or down. What am I saying it and who
Speaker 2: am I saying it about? And what am I saying
Speaker 2: it for and also I'm gonna make it funny, which
Speaker 2: is like, what a gift. But sometimes you just gotta
Speaker 2: say that shit. You gotta let motherfuckers know too.
Speaker 1: Have you ever said that ship and regretted it? Uh? Sure? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Not not in a special, Not in a comedy special. No,
Speaker 2: by the time we get to the comedy special, I
Speaker 2: said what I said. Sometimes I name names, but I'm
Speaker 2: a good person, you know, and people make you know,
Speaker 2: people make mistakes, okay, you know, But sometimes you just
Speaker 2: got to say that ship. Yeah, say that could Sometimes
Speaker 2: you just gotta say that ship. If you have a
Speaker 2: platform and you can speak up for people that can't
Speaker 2: speak up for themselves.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that I get for sure. And shit, yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: talking about the ship that is like, doesn't really help anybody.
Speaker 1: That's the ship I don't say.
Speaker 2: I like that shit.
Speaker 1: That's yeah. I'm not necessarily afraid to say some shit
Speaker 1: if I think it's for the good and going to
Speaker 1: help somebody, right, But just to talk shit and be
Speaker 1: petty and be funny, I think, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: admire people who do that, who are so free to
Speaker 1: just say I really miss Wendy Williams I think Wendy
Speaker 1: was the prime example of that. She would say shit
Speaker 1: with no regard. Oh probably would hit the hit the ground,
Speaker 1: and then have him as a guest on like a
Speaker 1: month later and roll the video back.
Speaker 2: It's like, oh my.
Speaker 1: God, yeah, so funny. If one of one, like truly
Speaker 1: a crow one time, legit a crow? Yeah? Yeah.
Speaker 2: Has anybody ever ran up on you about something you said?
Speaker 1: Has that? Has it ever? Ru Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah a few times.
Speaker 1: Not a story you want to share today? Not really.
Speaker 1: I felt it. I pay attention to vibes.
Speaker 2: I felt that she's like, please, God, no, it's not
Speaker 2: a good idea.
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Speaker 1: bet casino where your inner rebel plays. So where are
Speaker 1: you now in your life? Because so man, from that
Speaker 1: time that I mention in twenty thirteen, your life changed
Speaker 1: so well, the perception of it changed, but it is
Speaker 1: you had kids, you got you were married after that
Speaker 1: thirteen when you married, I was married twenty ten. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: twenty ten. Okay, so you're sixteen years married now. Yes,
Speaker 1: you had a hit show. Yeah, a hit show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not a small thing. I think it's pretty amazing, right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I got to take it in sometimes you do. I do,
Speaker 2: because when you're so busy taking these bricks and building
Speaker 2: this house of love and opportunity, sometimes you're like, ooh,
Speaker 2: my back, my shoulder, huh, and you can't see what
Speaker 2: it is. And then all of a sudden, one day
Speaker 2: you wake up and it's a beautiful house and everyone's left.
Speaker 2: And so now the end of season three feels like
Speaker 2: I'm an empty nester. You know, however people describe that
Speaker 2: feeling is what I feel like. This has been my
Speaker 2: whole life. Like I started coming up with the idea
Speaker 2: of writing a book in twenty fifteen, so to see
Speaker 2: where it is now and everybody is, you know, happily
Speaker 2: and happily on their way. I'm like, this is really nice.
Speaker 2: I just need a minute to like take it in.
Speaker 2: You know, a hit show one hundred and ninety one countries,
Speaker 2: you know, over three hundred million subscribers to Netflix is
Speaker 2: not a small thing, and so I have to constantly
Speaker 2: take that in. I can't imagine.
Speaker 1: Whoo oh, I would imagine like, first of all, even
Speaker 1: getting that yeah, and then looking at and thinking about
Speaker 1: where you were in twenty thirteen with problems with dreams
Speaker 1: of this, right. Yeah, It's like I wondered for you
Speaker 1: because when I see people like you who work so
Speaker 1: hard for something, There's been things in my life that
Speaker 1: I've worked so hard for and then you get it.
Speaker 1: For some people, it's the it's the dream. Some people
Speaker 1: it's a weird experience because it's like once you achieve
Speaker 1: the thing, yeah, that you think, this is the thing
Speaker 1: that I'm going to chase my whole life, right, so
Speaker 1: this is the thing that's going to make me happy
Speaker 1: and I'm going to feel successful. Yeah, And somebody goes, Okay,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. Yeah, do you feel things you're supposed
Speaker 1: to feel? I feel like, you know.
Speaker 2: What I mean a minute I made. It was when
Speaker 2: I went on stage September fourteen, two thousand and one.
Speaker 2: That's like the first time I grabbed that mic and
Speaker 2: I was like telling some jokes about being bank bonded
Speaker 2: and rides at Disney Rides at Disney World. This is
Speaker 2: one of my first jokes. Rides at Disney World remind
Speaker 2: me of my ex boyfriend three hours of waiting for
Speaker 2: a two minute ride. I thought it was a very
Speaker 2: good joke. I think it still holds up, you know,
Speaker 2: in the pool my finger kind of world. And that
Speaker 2: was the moment where I felt like true freedom and
Speaker 2: liberation from all the like chapters of my life that
Speaker 2: I had to be like I had to straighten my
Speaker 2: hair and go to Ann Taylor Loft and have like
Speaker 2: a certain amount of money in my bank account and
Speaker 2: look for this type of man. And that was like
Speaker 2: a thing where I just felt free the minute I
Speaker 2: grabbed that mic, And so everything else has been pretty
Speaker 2: damn good. Now a TV show to get something greenlit
Speaker 2: is like amazing, right, and it's like one idea out
Speaker 2: of many that you've pitched, and then for people to
Speaker 2: respond to it, it's even better. And you know, the
Speaker 2: whole thing is like, well, you just have to keep going.
Speaker 2: Then what else? Because people are responding to what you're doing,
Speaker 2: which is nice, And what I am doing is being myself,
Speaker 2: which is great. You know, there's so many people in
Speaker 2: my life that still don't know how to be themselves,
Speaker 2: and we're all entering our fifties, and I'm like, when
Speaker 2: is it gonna happen?
Speaker 1: Then?
Speaker 2: When you retire and get a hip replacement, is that
Speaker 2: when you're gonna start living for you and being yourself?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: So like I feel like no matter how tired I am,
Speaker 2: or no matter how frustrated I am with like whatever,
Speaker 2: it is like I'm still doing me. But also like
Speaker 2: when I get wrapped up and like what I don't
Speaker 2: have and frustrated about shit, it's just it's just like
Speaker 2: patriarchal shit. It's just like I don't have these numbers,
Speaker 2: But who says those numbers are important? You didn't reach
Speaker 2: these numbers? But look at all the d ms of
Speaker 2: the hearts that I've touched. What about those numbers? So
Speaker 2: every time I actually do catch myself being upset about something,
Speaker 2: it's a made up fucking thing that someone's told me
Speaker 2: I should care about and yes, like no one told me,
Speaker 2: but I had to realize that for myself. I'm just like,
Speaker 2: why is this important again? Why is this important again?
Speaker 2: Like I understand you have to make money. Yeah, we
Speaker 2: can make money if you promote me. Well, promote me
Speaker 2: like you promote all those other you know, little white boys.
Speaker 1: Or or I killed my wife mysteries, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, the documentary women, it's like protect women,
Speaker 2: just not making any documentaries in what. Don't go on
Speaker 2: a cruise, no offense, that's not going a cruise. You
Speaker 2: gotta come back. It's crazy. Don't be don't get in
Speaker 2: a fight, and then going on cruise then you sure,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, get yourself a tracking device or those
Speaker 2: aren't worth it.
Speaker 1: No, oh my god. I'm not a cruise girl. I've
Speaker 1: never been a cruise girl. Maybe that's why, Maybe that's
Speaker 1: why I subconsciously, yeah, preduct yourself. When you said something
Speaker 1: about oh, knowing yourself, getting to know yourself, Yeah, when
Speaker 1: did that happen for you? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I think it's a slow burn for everybody, but for me,
Speaker 2: it happened around the people that I really love and trust.
Speaker 2: So whether it's a cousin or friends or a teacher,
Speaker 2: you know, like I felt like going to an all
Speaker 2: white school in Jersey. I learned how to coach switch
Speaker 2: at a very young age, like this is what you
Speaker 2: do here, is what you do over there with your friends.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 2: And but the more I was able to like do
Speaker 2: whatever I do with my friends like in life, the
Speaker 2: more comfortable and successful I became.
Speaker 1: And so.
Speaker 2: Even like choosing a partner or a neighborhood or whatever
Speaker 2: it is that people don't understand why I'm doing this.
Speaker 2: You know, it's like standing ten toes down and being like,
Speaker 2: but this makes me happy. So whatever you saw for me, okay,
Speaker 2: thank you for thinking of me. But I got to
Speaker 2: see for myself now. And so I think, you know,
Speaker 2: I don't know what day or like the moment I
Speaker 2: arrived to it, but it was like, little by little,
Speaker 2: we just have to do us come vibe. That's interesting.
Speaker 1: It's like, if you're how could you possibly really truly
Speaker 1: know yourself if you haven't served yourself. Yeah, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. If you're like busy making everybody else
Speaker 1: happy or living a life you think other people think
Speaker 1: is right for you, how could you ever know yourself
Speaker 1: if you're always accommodating, that's right, to a version of
Speaker 1: yourself that other people see, that's right. It's a really
Speaker 1: good way to describe to And you're just like, but
Speaker 1: how are they going to receive it? And what are
Speaker 1: they going to think?
Speaker 2: And won't make them mad? And will they be proud
Speaker 2: and happy? It's like, or also use all that energy
Speaker 2: to be like, how do I do this the best
Speaker 2: way I could do it for me? So stand ten
Speaker 2: toes down and what works for you?
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's something to that that that is the guide
Speaker 1: to being confident in yourself and knowing yourself, because then
Speaker 1: you could you know what it is. No, I don't
Speaker 1: like that, or I do like that, and this is
Speaker 1: why and your decisions and your Yeah, and it's important.
Speaker 2: Though because it's like not to sound all wooboo, but
Speaker 2: I like what it's like sometimes you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: But it really is from within because I think a
Speaker 2: lot of people put like so much importance on looks
Speaker 2: and possessions and like numbers or numbers, you know, do
Speaker 2: I have the right body to be accepted? Do I
Speaker 2: have the right car, neighborhood partner? You know? Just being
Speaker 2: successful could also be just being really happy with yourself. Yes,
Speaker 2: you know are you? Yeah?
Speaker 1: M good for you? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like there that doesn't mean that I'm not you know,
Speaker 2: I don't want to say second guessing myself, but like
Speaker 2: doing things a different way, or I could have done
Speaker 2: it this better, I could have done this better, handle
Speaker 2: it that way because like you know, you don't know
Speaker 2: to you know right, And I think if you're doing
Speaker 2: life right, you're like in an experience that you've never
Speaker 2: been in before. Because that's nice because then you're like
Speaker 2: always learning right. But for the most part, yes, So
Speaker 2: when people tell me no or don't get me, then
Speaker 2: I realized that I am not for them, and they're
Speaker 2: probably not for me. But no matter what, like I
Speaker 2: got me, like I know what's good for me.
Speaker 1: And you don't, then wait, don't waste your time trying
Speaker 1: to serve them at all? Yeah at all good for you.
Speaker 2: And that goes for like very immediate family members heard.
Speaker 1: You, Okay, what were the things before you became this
Speaker 1: person or you had confidence in this person? What were
Speaker 1: the things that people wanted from you? I would imagine
Speaker 1: what my goodness to do with all types of things,
Speaker 1: Like you said, body sad hair. Yeah, I think a
Speaker 1: lot of people would be very happy with me if
Speaker 1: I wasn't as loud, if I wasn't as vulgar, if
Speaker 1: I was thinner, if I had straighter hair, if I
Speaker 1: covered up my freckles, if I you know, if I
Speaker 1: was just more.
Speaker 2: Dainty and demure. But that's not for me. Imagine you
Speaker 2: spent your whole life trying to be all of those things.
Speaker 1: How could you be happy?
Speaker 2: I couldn't know. It'd be a prison.
Speaker 1: You know, many people are walking around life in that
Speaker 1: prison a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm glad that they find my show.
Speaker 1: Yes, Oh god, I can only imagine the responses that
Speaker 1: you've gotten. It's pretty great from people. Yeah, it's pretty.
Speaker 2: It's like heartfelt, but also jarring that like from people
Speaker 2: in their teens to like in their seventies.
Speaker 1: What is it though? What are they saying?
Speaker 2: I mean a lot of overall like people not giving
Speaker 2: themselves the license to be who they are, want to be,
Speaker 2: love who they want to be, you know, finding joy,
Speaker 2: happiness a spark. So many women from so many different
Speaker 2: countries are like, I'm going to stop wearing black, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna try color now. Oh I love that I'm saying yes,
Speaker 2: but then it's also like this is the first time
Speaker 2: I've left since my daughter died or my husband's cancer
Speaker 2: came back. Oh, and especially with this season, people are
Speaker 2: you know, this season has resonated with people in a
Speaker 2: different way, you know, down to like health care, you know,
Speaker 2: and the access to health care, and the shame that
Speaker 2: you know, doing IVF for whatever kind of treatment you
Speaker 2: need comes with, and that people don't know how to
Speaker 2: talk about it and they feel bad that they even
Speaker 2: have to. It's so insane and I'm so glad I
Speaker 2: chose to tell that story because I also don't like
Speaker 2: to live and regret and like, I don't like to
Speaker 2: live in regret in like probably a very unhealthy way
Speaker 2: where I will order half the menu just so I
Speaker 2: can see it, because I don't want food envy, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean. I don't want to go home
Speaker 2: and think I should have ordered that. So I want
Speaker 2: to see what all the appetizers look like. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 2: so I will order two meals because I don't want regret.
Speaker 2: I won't I'll take one home, like I'm not gonna like,
Speaker 2: you know, it's on a food eating contest, but like
Speaker 2: I just have to know. Life is too short. We're
Speaker 2: not promised tomorrow. And so these messages of people and
Speaker 2: even take IVF out of it, you know, like beautiful
Speaker 2: non binary and trans people figure out how to get
Speaker 2: access to whatever kind of health care they need, understanding
Speaker 2: what it's like pumping their body up hormones and not
Speaker 2: feeling like themselves on the journey to being themselves, you know,
Speaker 2: doing whatever you have to do that's physically possible to
Speaker 2: have the life that you want, you know, that's like,
Speaker 2: but still making it funny.
Speaker 1: Still making it funny, and still making the characters whole. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, we were talking about that earlier about the show.
Speaker 1: It's like there's been there's been lots of shows and
Speaker 1: people who have been public about especially just like you know,
Speaker 1: wait and body shaming inside. But I feel like the
Speaker 1: way you guys do it is so it's not the
Speaker 1: main it's not the headline. Yeah it's in there, yes,
Speaker 1: but it's not. It's just part of the story. It's
Speaker 1: not necessarily like and it's not done in a way
Speaker 1: where it's like condescending. You know. Sometimes people Yes, I
Speaker 1: don't know if I'm saying this right, you are.
Speaker 2: No things back to when you're on set, because you
Speaker 2: know it's such like a New York moment for to
Speaker 2: like go on like a very popular like radio show
Speaker 2: podcast and go in the lines then and think it's
Speaker 2: gonna be one thing.
Speaker 1: I loved coming to that show. Those of you have
Speaker 1: not seen my episode. It was two I played. I
Speaker 1: played on the Dawn the podcast host, and you were
Speaker 1: the guests, and I had the little gotcha moment on
Speaker 1: the show. It was so it was so much fun,
Speaker 1: and the cast, so many women on sets. Yes, you
Speaker 1: could just tell that the love was poured into this
Speaker 1: project if you could feel it on set.
Speaker 2: Oh good, I'm so glad you felt that. And I
Speaker 2: hated leaving.
Speaker 1: I was only there. I was only one there, and
Speaker 1: I wasn't like enough right YouTube grit. We were there
Speaker 1: and we were like, we want to come back here
Speaker 1: every day, and so I can only imagine for you, yeah,
Speaker 1: god to be. Was it like that all the time
Speaker 1: or did we just have an incredible experience out all
Speaker 1: the time since day one? Well? Fun, fun, funny, collaborative.
Speaker 1: Everybody there wants to be there, Yes, everybody has your back.
Speaker 1: How do we make it better? This is a long
Speaker 1: day let's do this together type. It's how do you
Speaker 1: create that world, that environment of people that feel that way?
Speaker 2: You just you are that way, right, Like like it
Speaker 2: starts from the top, and I'm number one on the
Speaker 2: call sheet, you know, the co creator of the show
Speaker 2: and stirring in it. And so you know, you know
Speaker 2: what is that saying, happy wife, happy life? Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: the wife. And yes, we could talk about weight and
Speaker 2: fat phobia, transphobia and and all that stuff and like
Speaker 2: gender bending fuckery and all that stuff, but like, we
Speaker 2: are so much more than our size, We are so
Speaker 2: much more than our shape and our shade and all that.
Speaker 2: But we are also very much stronger together. And so
Speaker 2: I'm like, how do we do it? Like, how do
Speaker 2: we address it but still keep it moving? You know,
Speaker 2: don't sit in it? And that's the thing about comedy too,
Speaker 2: and also like live just a live space. It's timing.
Speaker 2: You know, you got to hit it and move on,
Speaker 2: you know, hit it and quit it, move on. Why
Speaker 2: are we sitting here? Yes, you know, because then you
Speaker 2: become you're serving just this one thing. Really, if you're
Speaker 2: doing that, you're.
Speaker 1: Probably doing it for everyone else because authentically to you, yes,
Speaker 1: you're not sitting around thinking about that all night.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to sit and spin on somebody, well my husband,
Speaker 2: but still and also like also like, you know, you
Speaker 2: have to be confident in what you're saying. Yeah, say
Speaker 2: the thing and move on.
Speaker 1: You know. It's like when I.
Speaker 2: First started to stand up, everybody was like, oh, we
Speaker 2: got We're gonna switch it up.
Speaker 1: Now we got a female coming to the stage. That
Speaker 1: means a lady.
Speaker 2: It was like, why are you doing this whole biology?
Speaker 2: What do we They could tell you, Oh, no, we
Speaker 2: gotta move on. You ain't got to say Michelle, you tawe.
Speaker 1: We got a lady, was switch it up. It's like,
Speaker 1: just get me on the stage up, say the thing
Speaker 1: and move on. The thing's my name, move on, you
Speaker 1: know what I mean. So it's like that, It's like,
Speaker 1: say the thing and move on. Such a good job
Speaker 1: at it. Just speaking of sitting on your husband, you
Speaker 1: clearly like sitting on your husband.
Speaker 2: You've made it sixteen years. Yeah, that's pretty great. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and he's so great, Like, I just love a man
Speaker 2: that just loves me down. Holy, lets me sit on
Speaker 2: his face.
Speaker 1: That's so sweet. I like that. That was good, so sweet.
Speaker 1: Look sweet I love that for you. I love that
Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, I really like him. I like him.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that's the best. You know what's so
Speaker 1: fascinating about this to me? Why what you started? Yeah,
Speaker 1: this was a one night stand. Yes, this is not
Speaker 1: how normally the story goes. See, this is the problem.
Speaker 1: You set off false expectations. So then women think, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go have this one night stand. It'll probably
Speaker 1: be my hu it's been for sixteen years. Don't think that. Well,
Speaker 1: I didn't say all that. I didn't write a book
Speaker 1: for it to be like a New York Times bestseller.
Speaker 1: I just wrote a book, right, you know, just love
Speaker 1: into it.
Speaker 2: It's whatever it is. I liked a really nice one.
Speaker 1: I stand like I like you know, all the love
Speaker 1: you put in a relationship or putting one. I stand.
Speaker 1: Were you a one nice saying girl? Or was this
Speaker 1: like a rare Did my mom ask you to ask that?
Speaker 1: She did? She did? She called? Or was this the
Speaker 1: first time you'd ever had one and it just so happened?
Speaker 1: He was? He was the one, Miss ma'am. Okay, But
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, miss ma'am, okay, you've seen the hips.
Speaker 2: They don't lie no, this is yeah, it just so happened.
Speaker 2: So yeah, it was like musical chairs, but with dix
Speaker 2: and then you saddled the right one and then I won.
Speaker 1: Good for you, Thank you so much. What was the thing.
Speaker 1: How did you know this was the right chair? I didn't.
Speaker 2: I just felt safe and I was forty. Now, you know,
Speaker 2: I didn't just wake up one day and say I
Speaker 2: am fan of one night stands like I had. I
Speaker 2: took life way too seriously when I was younger. I
Speaker 2: wanted to wait till I was married to have sex.
Speaker 2: And I had like very serious boyfriends in high school
Speaker 2: and college that both cheated on me, and I was
Speaker 2: like torn up. And in high school it was like
Speaker 2: a really good friend, one of my best friends, and
Speaker 2: so I was like torn up. And so what I
Speaker 2: see my friends going through in their forties and fifties
Speaker 2: getting a divorce.
Speaker 1: It's like what I went through. I was listening to
Speaker 1: Anita Baker and all types of stuff at like sixteen seventeen,
Speaker 1: I should have had a bob and a cigarette and
Speaker 1: being like, you know, I was waiting to exail in
Speaker 1: high school.
Speaker 2: It was horrible, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Speaker 2: Now on the other side because I kind of like
Speaker 2: was Benjamin Button with like dating and so in college,
Speaker 2: I also was like, we should get married and I
Speaker 2: love you and I have your back and your family's
Speaker 2: my family. And then when he cheated on me, I
Speaker 2: was like, maybe I just do me. And I didn't
Speaker 2: like dating. I like doing stand up. I like working,
Speaker 2: I like making money.
Speaker 1: I like doing me.
Speaker 2: And that's how I met him. Wow, because I didn't
Speaker 2: have the expectation of this is a date.
Speaker 1: What do you do?
Speaker 2: Where are you from, what's your job? What do you
Speaker 2: want to do? I felt like I'm a manager on
Speaker 2: LinkedIn looking for an employee when I was dating, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I want to hang out with my friends,
Speaker 2: you know, let loose, order half the menu, get a
Speaker 2: little tipsy, talk shit, you know, to work a little
Speaker 2: bit of home, you know. And again I love stand
Speaker 2: up and I felt like there was no dating is
Speaker 2: like a second job. Now you should go out on
Speaker 2: dates if that's your thing.
Speaker 1: Do that.
Speaker 2: I think you should go out on dates with people
Speaker 2: because you have to see how they act in public.
Speaker 2: Do they have manners? How do they treat the white staff? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Do they chew like a cow? Oh?
Speaker 2: You know, problematic, gross, actually gross, like no table manners.
Speaker 2: I can't put my face in your crutched.
Speaker 1: You know what's so funny is that I've said this before.
Speaker 1: I've thought this before, Like, I don't think people prepare
Speaker 1: young people for heartbreak at that level. Yeah, and we
Speaker 1: all like, oh, in my high school, I got my
Speaker 1: heart broken, and you say it like it's a no
Speaker 1: big deal. So if I'm in high school and I
Speaker 1: see that, I think, oh, it's no big deal. I
Speaker 1: think when it happens to a young person, yeah, so
Speaker 1: intensely like that. Yeah, they're not really prepared for it,
Speaker 1: and it shapes you. It shapes you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because what I remember is life as I knew.
Speaker 2: It was completely different.
Speaker 1: The next day. So you were all in.
Speaker 2: I was all in.
Speaker 1: You believed the fairy tale or the not fairy tale.
Speaker 1: You believe, Yeah, I guess fairy tale.
Speaker 2: But I believed people. I didn't think people could lie
Speaker 2: to me. I believe people like he was my Sannah,
Speaker 2: Like I believe him, like I also was like converting
Speaker 2: to Islam for him, like I believed him. And then
Speaker 2: I realized, oh, people can lie. And outside of that,
Speaker 2: I realized.
Speaker 1: People lie.
Speaker 2: But that's because they're lying to themselves. They want to
Speaker 2: be the version of the person that they want to be,
Speaker 2: but don't know how to do it truthfully, and that
Speaker 2: means having hard conversations and also maybe not liking yourself
Speaker 2: for a little bit. And then I realized after that, like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is about you, not me. I have to like
Speaker 2: be my most authentic self because if I'm trying to
Speaker 2: make you happy, then I'm also lying and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm not doing that.
Speaker 1: That experience, though, sometimes could make women not trust again,
Speaker 1: or it be hard to jump into a relationship or
Speaker 1: a marriage or yes, but you decided to at some
Speaker 1: point your husb and I guess convinced you or I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 2: Like it was long distance for a very long time,
Speaker 2: for almost two years, and I didn't even know where
Speaker 2: Holland was on a map.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 2: I was like, how do I trust this guy? I
Speaker 2: don't even know how to say his name, Like you know,
Speaker 2: I'm like, fly, we're doing long distance. And Holland is
Speaker 2: also very different too, because like you know, it's not
Speaker 2: as like there is not as how do I describe
Speaker 2: it like sexual there, Like there isn't this emphasis on
Speaker 2: like sexuality, yes, and misogyny and stuff, so like even
Speaker 2: the spas are co ed, like bodies are just bodies
Speaker 2: and people are just like friends with people, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: you're you are friends with your exit. That's weird. But
Speaker 2: it's a smaller country and so you just gotta know
Speaker 2: who you gonna know. And I'm like, okay, so it
Speaker 2: took me a long time to like fully trust him,
Speaker 2: but bigger picture, like the process of giving your heart
Speaker 2: to someone, but I'm glad I did because it worked out.
Speaker 2: You know, there was a choice where I was like,
Speaker 2: I could be upset about all this, but I know
Speaker 2: I'm amazing, So why am I feeding into this like
Speaker 2: jealousy bullshit? And I don't want to be jealous. That's
Speaker 2: like road rage is such a wasted emotion and it's
Speaker 2: like for what and for who and at some moment
Speaker 2: and looking in his eyes and believing him and knowing
Speaker 2: how I felt about him, I'm like, jealousy really doesn't
Speaker 2: serve me. And it's really like a thing that happens
Speaker 2: when people haven't realized their power yet. And I'm like, bitch,
Speaker 2: realize your power. Like you guys are good together. Oh,
Speaker 2: you know. Yes, it's important.
Speaker 1: It's important to naming the bad stuff, Like, maybe should
Speaker 1: just make a story about this. I feel like this
Speaker 1: could be like your next show. No give him the
Speaker 1: stuff to do does not show in time?
Speaker 2: All right, okay, you have nothing? You have a plan
Speaker 2: after the show? No, no, I don't.
Speaker 1: You don't, I don't when the show is over, I
Speaker 1: don't know the show is over, right, But you're still
Speaker 1: promoting it. You're still in, You're still yeah.
Speaker 2: I'm still definitely like connected and yeah, yeah, promoting it,
Speaker 2: but I don't usually I have a follow up right away.
Speaker 2: But this took so much out of me, especially like
Speaker 2: directing a very personal episode that I'm I've decided to
Speaker 2: give myself time to enjoy and also rest and heal
Speaker 2: from this whole process. Good for you, yeah, because jumping
Speaker 2: into like very dark traumatic moments in your life for
Speaker 2: art can be dangerous. And kim Win, one of my directors,
Speaker 2: you know, she was like, be careful because once you
Speaker 2: hit that other side sometimes it's hard to like come back.
Speaker 2: And so I remember that going in, and when I
Speaker 2: tapped into it, I was like, oh, I get it,
Speaker 2: because for three days I was just crying. Wow, and
Speaker 2: I would be ordering my lunch.
Speaker 1: I'm like aspectus and generous, but everyone's like, okay, got it, Okay, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know what this is the personal thing. I
Speaker 1: don't even know if I need to talk about it,
Speaker 1: but I will share this because you just said it
Speaker 1: to me. I just had an experience, and now I
Speaker 1: understand why based on what you just told me.
Speaker 2: I didn't know what was happening to me. So I
Speaker 2: did a documentary like a year ago.
Speaker 1: It was my first directing, my first thing, and my friend,
Speaker 1: the person I directed was a friend of mine, and
Speaker 1: he was telling me about this experience of making this
Speaker 1: song he made Brooklyn's Finus Jason Clark Clark Kent DJ
Speaker 1: Clark Kent. Right. So I'm working on a documentary with
Speaker 1: him for like a year directing it, and he's telling
Speaker 1: me about the making of Brooklyn's Finance, bringing jay Z
Speaker 1: and Biggie in and the day he did this and
Speaker 1: the how he tricked them to be in the studio together.
Speaker 1: So I could I actually, I'm now realizing what happens
Speaker 1: to me. I took I had it inside me, the story,
Speaker 1: overtelling the story so many times that I almost could
Speaker 1: see it. I can almost be present in the making
Speaker 1: of it. So then the other day I'm at the
Speaker 1: Jay Z concert and he's playing Brooklyn's Finance, and I
Speaker 1: could feel something coming up, and I'm like, what is this?
Speaker 1: Like what he's been He's been gone for a little
Speaker 1: while now, you know, I've cried about it, I've been fine,
Speaker 1: And so I could feel it coming up and I
Speaker 1: realized I was seeing it the way I would imagine
Speaker 1: he would see it, because it was like inside of me, right,
Speaker 1: And so I was having that feeling and then Jay says,
Speaker 1: shout out to a rest in peace DJ Clarkett, and
Speaker 1: he said that, and I I just like lost it
Speaker 1: and I couldn't figure out why. It was just I
Speaker 1: was so emotional and I couldn't figure it. And now
Speaker 1: you just explained to me what was happening. It's because
Speaker 1: I ingested something that sits now inside of me. Yes,
Speaker 1: And then in that moment it kind of came back up.
Speaker 1: And so I could only imagine for you, in directing
Speaker 1: an episode of IVF and having all the emotions inside
Speaker 1: of you already. Yeah, it's like you're re ingesting it
Speaker 1: in a way. Yeah. Does that make sense?
Speaker 2: Does that what you're happening into that?
Speaker 1: Yes, interesting. Yeah, I'd never experienced that before. So and
Speaker 1: I didn't even know that that's what I was experiencing
Speaker 1: until you just explained it to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I didn't know until it happened to me.
Speaker 1: So what what? What was the did you? So? Why
Speaker 1: did you decide? Was it just because you know you
Speaker 1: had been through that and decided to direct that specific episode.
Speaker 2: Well, we were telling a story about IVF and you know,
Speaker 2: and we were trying to like figure out timeline and
Speaker 2: what is useful and serves the story and what's important
Speaker 2: and honoring the story. And one day, like like months
Speaker 2: and months in like we have good stories already like
Speaker 2: lined up. I I just told everyone, like my writer
Speaker 2: my writer's room. I'm like, it can't just all be good.
Speaker 2: It can't just all be like shots. It's not that
Speaker 2: like some heavy shit goes on. You know, your eggs
Speaker 2: aren't viable, you don't have a heartbeat, you are completely
Speaker 2: in like just insanely anxious for each appointment because you're
Speaker 2: just waiting for bad news, you know. So I'm like,
Speaker 2: there's got to be some of that in there in
Speaker 2: order for it to feel like a real story, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, I realized we're doing a comedy. Okay, it
Speaker 2: will be funny, but the funny will be the relief,
Speaker 2: the release you feel after putting your body through that.
Speaker 2: And I did so much of it for so long
Speaker 2: and still maintained to have like a career as happy clown.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, let's just do it. We can do it.
Speaker 2: We just have to figure it out. And so we
Speaker 2: cracked the We cracked the code. I can't believe we
Speaker 2: did it, but everybody was like really cool and vulnerable
Speaker 2: and to share and like even like put in other
Speaker 2: people's stories and like figure out how we can like
Speaker 2: just mind the material to have it make sense. But
Speaker 2: ultimately it was the things that I went through, and
Speaker 2: I thought nobody else could direct me but me, especially
Speaker 2: through this process, because even if somebody had four losses
Speaker 2: in five years and hundreds of thousands of dollars spent,
Speaker 2: their experience will be different than mine. So I chose
Speaker 2: the hot seat, and I'm glad I and I'm glad
Speaker 2: I did because now I know I already knew I
Speaker 2: could do hard things, but like other hard things, you know,
Speaker 2: and now I know I can go into I can
Speaker 2: go on a set and direct someone because I know
Speaker 2: what I needed for myself and I was able to
Speaker 2: do that, And yeah, and I would love to do
Speaker 2: that for someone. Mmm, would that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? What do you say to somebody who's about to
Speaker 1: go on an IVF journey or somebody maybe that's supporting
Speaker 1: someone who was in the midst of that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like what should we know? I mean if you
Speaker 2: are going through an IVF journey or about to go
Speaker 2: through one. My friend Jordan Carlos told me this when
Speaker 2: my surrogate was pregnant and it was like still high
Speaker 2: risk and all stuff, and he goes, you know, Michelle,
Speaker 2: sometimes you can have a happy ending. And so I
Speaker 2: really held on to that because the happy ending might
Speaker 2: not look like how you want it to be, but
Speaker 2: it's still good. So hold on to the positive parts,
Speaker 2: you know. And for someone who knows someone going through it,
Speaker 2: I mean, all you have to do is show up
Speaker 2: and say, okay, are you okay? I'm here for you.
Speaker 2: You don't have to like explain or fix or overstand
Speaker 2: or like have an article or a link and tell
Speaker 2: them what they should and shouldn't be doing. Eat less
Speaker 2: of this, more of that. You don't have to do.
Speaker 2: You don't have to do that. She you don't have
Speaker 2: to be doctor oz. He ain't even a doctor. Oh no,
Speaker 2: oh no, she said what she said, what she said.
Speaker 1: Said it was funny, right, but yeah, just be there.
Speaker 2: Are you okay? Can I take you out for a sandwich?
Speaker 1: That's it?
Speaker 2: Where the days you were not okay?
Speaker 1: One hundred one. I have never experienced that, so I
Speaker 1: don't I could understand you, but not I don't, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know what that process is like.
Speaker 2: So it's a shit show because you're made to feel
Speaker 2: guilty for having a family in this alternative way that
Speaker 2: is not supported by healthcare. It is a little bit
Speaker 2: better now, but the fact that we don't have access
Speaker 2: to IVF in the way that we should. We don't
Speaker 2: have access to like basic health care. The fact that
Speaker 2: we don't even have access to like like the most
Speaker 2: basic human needs is just like so insane to me.
Speaker 1: But then a.
Speaker 2: Lot of people don't know about it, and so there's
Speaker 2: like conversations that you can't have because then you're gonna
Speaker 2: have to explain stuff to someone that you don't fully
Speaker 2: know how to explain and they can't take in. You know,
Speaker 2: there's already shame in saying that you want a kid
Speaker 2: or that you don't want a kid, you know, instead
Speaker 2: of just like, whatever you want, I want that for you,
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Right, the basics, the basics. Yeah, and then it's just
Speaker 1: like you're too old or you're too young, or you
Speaker 1: should lose weight, you should like not work as much,
Speaker 1: and you know, and then there's like the the feelings
Speaker 1: of shooting yourself up with hormones and not realizing that,
Speaker 1: Like you're doing a fun.
Speaker 2: Scene with Gene is it Gina Rodriguez? Is that her name?
Speaker 1: Yes? Yes?
Speaker 2: Right, yes, and yeah the version y.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I did a movie with her. I was in a
Speaker 2: scene with her. I don't remember the name of the movie.
Speaker 2: It was hilarious. How do you do a movie and
Speaker 2: don't remember the name? That's fascinating.
Speaker 1: I know. I had fun because you've done so much. Look,
Speaker 1: it just goes through a day. Do you like it? Perfect?
Speaker 2: But it was supposed to be one scene, like four lines,
Speaker 2: and then we ended up improving this whole thing. I
Speaker 2: was hopped up in hormones. I think I was like
Speaker 2: probably experienced the miscarriage at the time, and at one point,
Speaker 2: like her boyfriend breaks up with her. I start crying
Speaker 2: because the hormones are there, but the jokes are there too,
Speaker 2: And then she starts reacting to me crying.
Speaker 1: I'm like, why break up with you? With them big
Speaker 1: ass teeth chomping on his date? Why he don't want that?
Speaker 2: And she's like gro what? And I was like gro
Speaker 2: by and we had a toime. But like there's also
Speaker 2: like leaving that set feeling nuts, like what just happened?
Speaker 1: What just happened? That's that's how I felt that the
Speaker 1: jay Z concert really yeah, because I was crying in
Speaker 1: this I'm in them with the terror squad in the
Speaker 1: bo vip suite and everybody's just drinking duce and a
Speaker 1: space and having a good time. When a jay Z
Speaker 1: concert and I'm like crying.
Speaker 2: It was terrible, but it's emotional. I know, HU cry
Speaker 2: now And it's history, yeah, you know, And it's like
Speaker 2: also like it's also remembering of like what that time was,
Speaker 2: Like that was a good time, you know for sure.
Speaker 2: So that's how you felt when you left the set.
Speaker 1: You were like what was going on with me? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Like I remember, like my husband made a sandwich and
Speaker 2: he left crumbs on the kitchen counter. And I started crying.
Speaker 2: I was like, I can't live like this. I might
Speaker 2: need a divorce. I'm like, you don't think about me,
Speaker 2: you know? And he was like, or is it the hormones.
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I like him so much? Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: a good guy.
Speaker 2: He's a pretty good guy.
Speaker 1: That's pretty good. I know. Did he say it that calm? Yeah,
Speaker 1: he did. My type of person.
Speaker 2: Well, he's a virgo. So these earth signs be keeping me.
Speaker 2: That's so good. Yeah, you said something before. What did
Speaker 2: you call it? The comic?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: What did you call it?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: Called it a comic?
Speaker 1: What you do? It's like you just said it like
Speaker 1: a couple of minutes ago. God, I should have wrote
Speaker 1: it down. Oh my gosh, what did I say?
Speaker 2: I don't get me started. It was like the comic face,
Speaker 2: So the comic I don't remember.
Speaker 1: This is what.
Speaker 2: I don't remember what movies.
Speaker 1: Like you like possessed like you just say things. I
Speaker 1: don't remember what movies I'm in. It gave me a
Speaker 1: sense that you had an idea about like how comedy
Speaker 1: you people use comedy as like a shield. It's like
Speaker 1: a oh, like to be guarded, no, like to cover
Speaker 1: up like you're being funny. Oh did I misread something
Speaker 1: you said? Totally? I don't know. I really do be
Speaker 1: forgetting stuff like do you ever and be like the
Speaker 1: two of us together just you don't even know what
Speaker 1: you said. I can't remember that questions we're crying, We're
Speaker 1: only here crying. Oh shit, it's stupid. It's just so dumb.
Speaker 1: I don't think. God, I we're an adult typo. How
Speaker 1: are you doing with age? You know what? Because you're
Speaker 1: about to be what forty nine? I think I'm doing okay,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: My body's just like I hope this person doesn't like
Speaker 2: this chair because you're about to sneeze.
Speaker 1: The ruin it.
Speaker 2: But other than that, like I don't remember most things
Speaker 2: like where I just was and what I just said.
Speaker 2: But other than that, but I do feel the need
Speaker 2: to like be as healthy as possible.
Speaker 1: I think something happens.
Speaker 2: When you're an older parent, Like my kids are seven,
Speaker 2: and I want them to get older.
Speaker 1: But the happy place is.
Speaker 2: Like I don't want to get older. I don't want
Speaker 2: to get older to like hold on to youth or whatever.
Speaker 2: I just want to be there for them all the time.
Speaker 2: So that's like the main thing about aging that I'm
Speaker 2: like anxious about. I just want to be there for
Speaker 2: the health of it all. Yeah, I want to be
Speaker 2: there for them. I want to know how their day
Speaker 2: was and smell them and hold them and just have
Speaker 2: them tell me whatever story they want to tell me,
Speaker 2: or look to just completely ignore.
Speaker 1: Me in a room. And I'm fine with that. Are
Speaker 1: you obsessed with your child upset? Yeah?
Speaker 2: I might be like, I'm yeah. Whatever you think of,
Speaker 2: like neurodivergent people doing, That's how I am with my kids.
Speaker 2: I'm like, ah, Like I just love to clean their
Speaker 2: ears and clip their toenails and braid their hair. Do
Speaker 2: you so great?
Speaker 1: Do you? I wonder sometimes like my girlfriend Adrian, you
Speaker 1: know Adrian how and she used to be on the rail. Yeah,
Speaker 1: she also had IVF and then wind up having a surrogate.
Speaker 1: Oh the way she loves on her son. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: because she wanted. I mean, she's she's just a good soul,
Speaker 1: you know she she would have probably been a great
Speaker 1: mother anyway. But something about wanting children and working so
Speaker 1: hard to be a mother. Yeah, the way motherhood hits
Speaker 1: I think it's a little different. Not to say, well,
Speaker 1: there's all I love my kids to death too. But
Speaker 1: I'm just saying I notice in friends who have really
Speaker 1: had a difficult time getting there, yeah, that you experience
Speaker 1: your kids in it. I don't know. I think you do.
Speaker 2: I think that's right. I think there's like there's a
Speaker 2: thing that happened when I first brought them home, or
Speaker 2: like not even brought them home, but like out in
Speaker 2: public where I didn't know because everyone wants to know
Speaker 2: your birth story, like right away twins had it, and
Speaker 2: you're like, it's very jarring because it's like do you
Speaker 2: tell people your story? It felt like it could have
Speaker 2: gone into imposter syndrome for a minute because I'm like,
Speaker 2: these are my kids. But but again, because of who
Speaker 2: I am, and I have to remind myself of how
Speaker 2: I live being in a new situation now in my life,
Speaker 2: in a new chapter, this is who I am, this
Speaker 2: is what happened. And I realized sharing my truth not
Speaker 2: only will educate but also probably help someone being there.
Speaker 2: So I'm just like, this is what it is, and
Speaker 2: this is how they came to be. But there was
Speaker 2: a moment too where I was like, am I doing
Speaker 2: the most at motherhood? Because I didn't carry them? And
Speaker 2: now that there's seven and I'm still running myself.
Speaker 1: Ragged, doing the most, doing the most. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is who I ye know. It's just like sometimes
Speaker 1: I just like to make sweet potato waffles from scratch
Speaker 1: when I got to be somewhere at eight am, and
Speaker 1: I'll wake up at six am to do it. This
Speaker 1: is who I am. I want to make sure they
Speaker 1: eat good, but just know that that might change. There's seven,
Speaker 1: but when they're sixteen, you might not be in that
Speaker 1: phase of life. You might be like one hundred. What's
Speaker 1: the math? When they're sixteen? How old am I? Uh?
Speaker 1: What are you? In nine years? You're gonna be fifty eight? No, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: fifty eight fifty.
Speaker 2: I'll be on my like hollyberry shit and I have
Speaker 2: to like use like a spray to still get wet.
Speaker 2: And I'll be boogie ubrals and a captain, you know,
Speaker 2: getting my hair wet, jumping off of boats like Beyonce
Speaker 2: and or Gabriel Union, and I'll have like a really
Speaker 2: nice skincare line, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I think my feet will still be sucked up. Just
Speaker 1: you know, ther vision for yourself is so clear, Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Yeah, I just want soft feet.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: That's all.
Speaker 2: I don't even need soft life any soft feet and
Speaker 2: a wet and a wet vagina soft feet, you know,
Speaker 2: hard money, wet pussy soft life.
Speaker 1: Okay, you want to You're like, It's like when I
Speaker 1: get my mom likes She's like you like it? I
Speaker 1: love it?
Speaker 2: Since mm, that's it, That's what I want for myself.
Speaker 1: How about that, halle Berry? Huh? How about it? How
Speaker 1: about if not as because you talked about the allointments
Speaker 1: and stuff, but she also has a gadget that is
Speaker 1: some type of red light. Have you seen this? Yes,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I need don't it. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying you need it. I'm fascinated. Okay, what if you
Speaker 1: were saying that? I heard? So I heard. By the
Speaker 1: way we have I r L wh so like we
Speaker 1: don't get a lot of oxygen down there, So I
Speaker 1: guess the red light?
Speaker 2: What do you mean?
Speaker 1: What do you mean? What? What? What is wrong with us?
Speaker 2: It doesn't get aired out a lot? Okay, so I'm
Speaker 2: sure the red light makes it feel like it's got
Speaker 2: some warmth on there is that is that?
Speaker 1: Is that? Look?
Speaker 2: I'm not doctor Oz, but I will say, I don't
Speaker 2: even play one on TV, although I did play orthopedic surgeon,
Speaker 2: did you? I did in First Wives Club. I don't
Speaker 2: know how to spelt worthopedic, like what are we doing?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: What are we doing? It was probably in the script
Speaker 1: it was.
Speaker 2: Beatt plush, probably shout out you have your past word.
Speaker 1: More water? You can't we have we have unlimited supply water.
Speaker 2: You guys got the good budget water and on crustables
Speaker 2: there they're like, go outside, Yeah, you have to what
Speaker 2: for yours because there's no sun down there?
Speaker 1: Right? Is that right? Yeah? No, No, it's important to
Speaker 1: Factestetician No serious, can somebody chat GPT it? It stimulates
Speaker 1: my andria minochandria which DC, thank yous, avatar, thank you
Speaker 1: so much, anaconda vagina, it's it's stimulates. I'm so sorry. No,
Speaker 1: you've opened so many questions. I have so many follow
Speaker 1: up questions about oxygen and do we get enough oxygen?
Speaker 2: Brittany says, they're women who, yeah.
Speaker 1: You have to sunbathe with theirs open.
Speaker 2: Well, if you have like a colation down there, like
Speaker 2: sometimes it gets a little purple or like dark brown
Speaker 2: or black, is because it doesn't get enough sun.
Speaker 1: Oh it is something I've never considered.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know.
Speaker 1: I've learned so much from you today.
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: I could talk.
Speaker 2: I could just talk about bodies all day, like really,
Speaker 2: we're fast, it's fascinating, and we don't know anything about
Speaker 2: our body until something goes wrong. Oh my god, you
Speaker 2: know more about our car than our bodies, and our
Speaker 2: bodies are like fucking amazing. So that's why I'm just
Speaker 2: like celebrate. And also no, no, it's powerful.
Speaker 1: Yes, you know, are you like a naked person, like
Speaker 1: do you enjoy being naked? You got it?
Speaker 2: You are her, you got it. You picked it up
Speaker 2: right away stead of Roger, your camera guy, he's like
Speaker 2: a bitch, we're the naked family.
Speaker 1: Are you sunbathing your vagina for oxygen?
Speaker 2: Why not?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: No, I mean no, not with all the fruit flies
Speaker 2: and stuff.
Speaker 1: Just kidding, but like will, I will never under say that.
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, but yeah, I just like to be freak.
Speaker 2: I would ever consider that. Now you've put fruit flies
Speaker 2: into the equation. I'm so sorry. I was doing Bebby
Speaker 2: Smith's podcast in ben and it was in Miami and
Speaker 2: there were fruit flies down there, and I was like,
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, and she's like, it's the neck.
Speaker 1: To Darling, it's a sweet neck doll. And I was like, thanks, Bebby,
Speaker 1: Wow what hype woman. But anyway, yeah, I like to
Speaker 1: be a little free because you know what it is too.
Speaker 1: I always had a like like I've had this body.
Speaker 2: It was bigger when I was like eleven or twelve,
Speaker 2: and so I always had to like be under a
Speaker 2: male gaze, like stand up straight, not too straight?
Speaker 1: Where bra you know? Do this? Do that?
Speaker 2: Like button down shirt, button down shirts and Catholic school
Speaker 2: my whole life. And now I'm like, I'm free. I'm
Speaker 2: just free to be who I want, how I want,
Speaker 2: And this is how I'm comfortable. I still put on
Speaker 2: clothes when people come over. You put them only when
Speaker 2: people come over, yes, And when they're not there, it's off.
Speaker 1: It's off, you know.
Speaker 2: And the wonder Woll in my house is like, we
Speaker 2: have to wear clothes at the dinner table, like we
Speaker 2: can't all Winnie the poet.
Speaker 1: At dinner? Have we lunch? You know, yes, lunch? What
Speaker 1: kind of question is that? Such?
Speaker 2: Wait asked, what are the quests? You have?
Speaker 1: All the cards?
Speaker 2: It was on the card I want to if you
Speaker 2: were clothing for like, really, yes, no, it's not.
Speaker 1: Why would that be in the car? Why would I
Speaker 1: even know that we were going to go? Heree, This
Speaker 1: whole conversation is not unexpected. It's taking so many unexpected turns,
Speaker 1: just like the Jersey Turnpike. She is a Jersey girl.
Speaker 1: We did have a Jersey card that we didn't get
Speaker 1: to today.
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, what is it?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: It's just a background.
Speaker 1: And you come from where you come from, growing up
Speaker 1: in Jersey and you have your parents are Jamaican and Haitian,
Speaker 1: which is amazing because isn't there like a there's always
Speaker 1: something something right. It's like Puerto Ricans and Dominicans and
Speaker 1: Jamaican and Haitians, Dominicans, Dominicans and Jamaicans too. I grew
Speaker 1: up with a lot Jamaicans. Always felt like one thinks
Speaker 1: they're better than the other.
Speaker 2: Always yeah, you know, Cuba, it's all coolbia Venezuela, it's
Speaker 2: all but you know, same at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: we're all just like beautiful souls trying to figure out
Speaker 2: how to do life.
Speaker 1: Word, you know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's a lot of Caribbean.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of Caribbean in the home, it is,
Speaker 1: how is that navigating your choices like who I want
Speaker 1: to date, what I want to look like, what I
Speaker 1: want to do for a career, any old school Haitian
Speaker 1: Jamaican ideas that kind of went against any of that?
Speaker 2: Or are your parents pretty liberal and modern? But a
Speaker 2: great question.
Speaker 1: I feel like.
Speaker 2: I feel like they were. They were strict, they were religious,
Speaker 2: they were conservative, but they also weren't like our families
Speaker 2: are so big that everybody was sort of like making
Speaker 2: the right and the wrong choices. So by the time
Speaker 2: it got to me and they realized I was who
Speaker 2: I was, They're like, just be a good person. Don't
Speaker 2: get pregnant in high school.
Speaker 1: Just you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: They're like, because I was always like in a small class.
Speaker 2: I didn't even realize I was like dyslexic till later
Speaker 2: in life and and you know, probably have add hello
Speaker 2: and so they were just like, just be a good person.
Speaker 2: We want the best for you. But you know, and
Speaker 2: I feel like by the time they got to me,
Speaker 2: they're like, it's not going to be a doctor, it's
Speaker 2: not gonna be a lawyer. She can't remember anything.
Speaker 1: Did they think you were funny. Yeah, is it always
Speaker 1: taken well?
Speaker 2: So no, No, my funny to them sometimes was just
Speaker 2: like very American, but my funny to my friends was
Speaker 2: like very Caribbean. So that's the great thing about being
Speaker 2: first generation, like you're just you really do have the
Speaker 2: best of both worlds.
Speaker 1: And so.
Speaker 2: While when we went to Jamaica it was like be free,
Speaker 2: b you be proud of your body, while we were
Speaker 2: in America, it's like, you know again, straighten your hair
Speaker 2: like iron your shir like you know, you have to
Speaker 2: like go along to get along, assimilate. You don't have
Speaker 2: to tell everybody where your parents are from. You know,
Speaker 2: we're from here. And so you know, now realizing how
Speaker 2: my dad was about being Haitian coming here in the
Speaker 2: sixties and what's going on with Ice, I realized why
Speaker 2: he was the.
Speaker 1: Way he was.
Speaker 2: You know, what do you mean, like careful or trying
Speaker 2: to blend the trying to stimilate or yeah, like not
Speaker 2: giving people too much information about you that they can
Speaker 2: hold against you, you know, not Yeah, not being as
Speaker 2: like freeing spaces as you could have been because of
Speaker 2: the government. I always thought he was paranoid, but this
Speaker 2: is the time he was talking about It's like he
Speaker 2: knew yeah, yeah, yeah, fascinating right. Yeah, but I wouldn't
Speaker 2: change it for the like I wouldn't change it for
Speaker 2: the world. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean because I like good food in your house.
Speaker 1: My god, oh very My dad was a cook. He
Speaker 1: was he was a cook.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm looking at my kids now, like they
Speaker 2: can't even make a sandwich. I'm like I was cut
Speaker 2: and chicken up when I was when I was their age,
Speaker 2: when I was seven. Yeah, I was laying my clothes
Speaker 2: out at five, making my breakfast and it.
Speaker 1: Was a different world. It really is on the subway
Speaker 1: at seven by myself, like a crazy child, and I
Speaker 1: really ain't even Yeah.
Speaker 2: Does that make my mother sound like a bad parent.
Speaker 1: No, Well, because we all were and we were going
Speaker 1: to school. So I was on the bus, on the
Speaker 1: train and the bus or walking Careah, well maybe eight.
Speaker 1: I was eight when I used to go by myselok
Speaker 1: at that it.
Speaker 2: Were so independent. Meanwhile, I'm like chasing my kids around
Speaker 2: with the water bottle.
Speaker 1: What am I doing? Said? Water? By Drason station? Did
Speaker 1: you were like you were doing connections? You were like
Speaker 1: giving people directions. I had to sit in the near
Speaker 1: the conductor that was my one Oh, that was my
Speaker 1: one direction. Sit near the conductor case anything goes wrong.
Speaker 1: Huh No, I would. I would sit next to the conductor.
Speaker 1: I would feel safe. I would think the conductor who
Speaker 1: didn't know me, but I just I was like fake security.
Speaker 1: Yeah he didn't know. You know, the conductors never know.
Speaker 1: But when you were young, that's what our parents used
Speaker 1: to say. No, you're from Jersey, so probably different than
Speaker 1: being in the city, right, Like, yeah, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: sit near the conductor. I did the city, ED.
Speaker 2: Did the city. I did Long Island. I just I
Speaker 2: did a lot of it was growing up in Jersey
Speaker 2: was like, you know.
Speaker 1: It was dope.
Speaker 2: I wish it was less aggressive.
Speaker 1: Because by the time I went to college in Miami,
Speaker 1: I'm like, who were fighting tonight?
Speaker 2: And everyone's like, nobody.
Speaker 1: Calmed down, Vammitch sequin shirt stop. I'm like, wait, fight nobody.
Speaker 1: So I'm so like, you know, I'm thankful for a
Speaker 1: lot of things. Well, like, no way, I used to
Speaker 1: fight that much. We had to get to our irol questions.
Speaker 1: But I have to ask you no Way before we do.
Speaker 1: I just have to ask you this, are you are
Speaker 1: you disappointed that maybe people didn't show up numbers.
Speaker 2: Wise the way they should have for this spot for
Speaker 2: the show. That's a really good question because it's it's
Speaker 2: a bigger question about society.
Speaker 1: What do you mean?
Speaker 2: It's why are we not showing up for women, women
Speaker 2: of color, queer people, fat people, brown and black people.
Speaker 2: It isn't just showing up for my comedy show. It's
Speaker 2: showing up for people trying to get their papers in
Speaker 2: order for ice or like you know, for immigration and
Speaker 2: still being detained and sometimes killed by ice. Do you
Speaker 2: know what I mean? It's showing up for marginalized communities,
Speaker 2: And so what do I expect?
Speaker 1: What did I expect?
Speaker 2: It's really hard to crack, you know, the code. That's
Speaker 2: why you have to celebrate the Quintas and everybody else,
Speaker 2: because it's really hard. Because I and I'm saying this
Speaker 2: as the most positive person.
Speaker 1: I was like, you're the glasses half full girl, I am.
Speaker 2: But I also have to be realistic in what society
Speaker 2: did these norms tell us and show us we have
Speaker 2: to show up for we have to show up for
Speaker 2: each other, and we have to respect each other. But
Speaker 2: like there's so many levels of like disrespect on just
Speaker 2: even comedy and female comedy. There's the reason why you're
Speaker 2: never gonna see Best Picture at the Oscars that's not
Speaker 2: only a comedy, but you know, probably with a bunch
Speaker 2: of black people, unless it's like pain porn. There's like,
Speaker 2: there's just a bigger picture that doesn't have to do
Speaker 2: with me. But I'm just gonna do my best to
Speaker 2: do what I do, and so do. I wish the
Speaker 2: numbers were like astronomical, just so I could say to like,
Speaker 2: you know, capitalism essentially, look at this, it matters, we matter,
Speaker 2: and now you can see because of the money. Yes,
Speaker 2: but the truth of the matter is a lot of
Speaker 2: people probably can't afford these platforms, or they just don't
Speaker 2: know about it because they're working, or it doesn't show
Speaker 2: up in their algorithm, because that doesn't serve the advertising,
Speaker 2: because everyone's.
Speaker 1: Like, who's this show for.
Speaker 2: If people don't et there's I remember Glad came to
Speaker 2: set for Peppermint's wedding episode in season two and shared
Speaker 2: some wild facts about trans people, and one of them
Speaker 2: was people in America, most people believe that they've seen
Speaker 2: a ghost before a trans person.
Speaker 1: So yes, But so all this to say, the bigger
Speaker 1: picture is.
Speaker 2: What we were saying about us, you know, the respect
Speaker 2: and the support we get as marginalized communities, like essentially.
Speaker 2: So wow, yeah, I don't remember the question at this point,
Speaker 2: I really went awful one or.
Speaker 1: Were you disappointed that, oh yes, that people didn't show
Speaker 1: up in a bigger way?
Speaker 2: But I feel yeah, and I feel like the people
Speaker 2: that needed it did show up, Like I can't. You
Speaker 2: can't compete with like people who literally are pouring their
Speaker 2: hearts out in DMS messages and letters to you of
Speaker 2: how this show say not only saved them, but like
Speaker 2: change how they saw themselves and people in the world.
Speaker 2: So I'm like, oh, job, will, dumbitch, you did it,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Yeah, And we had a
Speaker 2: good time off set, and we didn't trauma bond.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know everybody.
Speaker 2: I know, everybody told their therapists they had a good time. Okay,
Speaker 2: I mean we didn't have any avocados, but other than that,
Speaker 2: the guacamolea that government tub did as well.
Speaker 1: Well done, then thank you so much. We'll then very
Speaker 1: well done. Well look here, so that now that you're
Speaker 1: moving forward, I know you're taking a break right now,
Speaker 1: a little break. I said that, Well, I'm taking like
Speaker 1: a mental like well not not that is what you
Speaker 1: said to me, I know, but not like a break
Speaker 1: where like don't call me, I'm not available, all right,
Speaker 1: call me, I'm available for you still have something set
Speaker 1: up right yet like kind of put maybe you got
Speaker 1: a little maybe got little seeds. Okay, you got seeds.
Speaker 1: But yes, I'm not like there is always wonder if
Speaker 1: you go into it differently based on where this landed
Speaker 1: in the world. Yeah, yeah, I mean, it's it's exciting,
Speaker 1: you know. I wrote a couple of things that I'm
Speaker 1: trying to see where they go. But like you know,
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see me too, Like I don't
Speaker 1: kind of how everybody shows up the way they're supposed to.
Speaker 2: For it, thank you? I mean August twenty first, I
Speaker 2: don't know when this rash. August twenty first, have a
Speaker 2: movie coming out called Spot Weekend Elizabeth Leslie Man, Anna
Speaker 2: Faris and Isla Fisher, and that's really fun because it
Speaker 2: is giving Mount rushmore comedy. Is there a reason that
Speaker 2: you say comedy so aggressively.
Speaker 1: So people know him sarruh's Oh my god? Wait were
Speaker 1: those questions? Those were most of those were my IRL
Speaker 1: questions haven't even begun the IRL question. Shit, hey guys,
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Speaker 1: Boost Unlimited plan. Well, first, we have a voice note.
Speaker 1: This is presented by Boost Mobiles. Is a segment where
Speaker 1: somebody calls in or sends a message or I don't
Speaker 1: know what it is. Sometimes it's a comment. Sometimes it's
Speaker 1: a question. Okay, what do we got from Michelle today?
Speaker 1: So what's your name?
Speaker 2: Where you came from?
Speaker 1: Hey? Michelle?
Speaker 2: So fat girls.
Speaker 3: The movie with Monique was such a rare example of
Speaker 3: a plus sized black woman getting to be funny, romantic
Speaker 3: and fully realized on screen. Survival of the Thickest feels
Speaker 3: like it's building on that legacy. Was Monique or that
Speaker 3: film and inspiration for you at all?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? I want to say yes, but no,
Speaker 1: I want to say but no. It wasn't like Monique
Speaker 1: is always like Monique is always like.
Speaker 2: She's in the Zeigeist for me for sure. And it
Speaker 2: wasn't just that movie, like Monique is that bitch, you know,
Speaker 2: like the talk show, the movies, the stand up specials,
Speaker 2: the multi hyphen it, the loving yourself no matter what.
Speaker 2: So it wasn't necessarily that movie. It was just Monique
Speaker 2: in fact, like the mo the m Apostrophe, because there's
Speaker 2: more of her, like I put that in the show,
Speaker 2: like moment that's like episode one, season one, you know,
Speaker 2: when Khalil asked, Mavis, don't you always say think girls
Speaker 2: I have in a moment, She's like moment like m Apostrophe.
Speaker 2: You know so yes in that part, yes that you know,
Speaker 2: yes Monique there, but no not necessarily the.
Speaker 1: Sure you don't have to apologize for your truth. That's
Speaker 1: when I don't never mind if you took that move.
Speaker 1: You told us that today. All right, now we have
Speaker 1: an IRL ball.
Speaker 2: Go into the ball.
Speaker 1: Oh there's some meaningful in real life questions. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Uh so pick up question. Oh look at y'all be
Speaker 2: printing stuff and cutting it out. Yeah, we have a crap.
Speaker 2: We have ll arts graph department.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Oh.
Speaker 2: If you could instantly master any skill, what would it be.
Speaker 1: Quefing? Okay, see.
Speaker 2: You think that's right?
Speaker 1: Can't It's like would what would mastering that entail? Good question?
Speaker 2: I don't know, but if you were mastering it, you
Speaker 2: would know. I guess it's like direction of air.
Speaker 1: Oh, like like target targeting. Maybe carry on the next question.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 2: If God were to text you right now, what would
Speaker 2: it say?
Speaker 1: It's text? Oh okay, that's my favorite question of the ball.
Speaker 1: Really it seems light, but try to answer it and
Speaker 1: see what happens for you. If you got a text
Speaker 1: message from God, yeah, what would it say to you?
Speaker 1: It would say something along the lines of keep going.
Speaker 1: You're doing the right thing.
Speaker 2: That's pretty good. I think it's pretty good too. That's
Speaker 2: often what she tells me. What's something you used to
Speaker 2: be embarrassed about that you own now? Oh my goodness,
Speaker 2: my body for sure.
Speaker 1: I thought you were never I thought you were always.
Speaker 2: No, I'm no, You're not born that way.
Speaker 1: You just yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess I don't think we're born with insecurities,
Speaker 2: but people put them on you, and I'm like, this
Speaker 2: is weird. I thought I was doing good, and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, I guess I'm I never saw myself
Speaker 2: in magazines were chiev each like, so I didn't know,
Speaker 2: and so I would cover up and be like, I
Speaker 2: guess I'm not doing this. But man, the moment I
Speaker 2: found like a halter top or a tank top or
Speaker 2: like a thing or you know, when I just started
Speaker 2: to do me a little bit more, I'm like, this
Speaker 2: is good. Why would it be anything else? You know,
Speaker 2: And also like getting out of my mind of like
Speaker 2: am I not enough for him to be with me?
Speaker 1: That sucked.
Speaker 2: But the minute I was like, you're welcome to this
Speaker 2: body because it's amazing orgasm. Who knew?
Speaker 1: This is great? I know I'm just gonna do like
Speaker 1: a for every woman, no matter the size, because if
Speaker 1: it's not weight, it's the your hips or your brooding proportion,
Speaker 1: or it's short. Yeah. Well, I think there's all types
Speaker 1: of insecurities that's that do the same thing. It's not
Speaker 1: even about the specific insecurity. It's just the insecurities, yes,
Speaker 1: that are put on us, that are put on us
Speaker 1: that make us not enjoy life. It is a form
Speaker 1: of control. Oh oh, that's good.
Speaker 2: It is a form of control designed Yes, yes, and
Speaker 2: and and it goes back and it's like also biblical
Speaker 2: like it's a form of control. And dare I say
Speaker 2: mental abuse? Because what would it actually look like if
Speaker 2: if everyone actually loved themselves and they were enough mm hmm, equality,
Speaker 2: that's what would happen. Yeah, they don't want that, not
Speaker 2: at all, because then you gotta pay me what you
Speaker 2: owe me. What's one thing you hope never changes about you?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: My god, I don't know what do you think? What
Speaker 2: do I hope nothing that doesn't change about you?
Speaker 1: Yes? Okay, yes? Are you talking with the balls? You're
Speaker 1: bored now with the ball. You can keep going with
Speaker 1: the ball. What do I hope never changes about you. Yes,
Speaker 1: your glasses have fullness, but also the joy that you
Speaker 1: wrap that up in yeap for everyone else. Yes, is
Speaker 1: that a good answer? That's a very good answer.
Speaker 2: You're so pretty? Stop you're so pretty. Oh that's so nice,
Speaker 2: thank you, But like, oh, that's really sweet. When I
Speaker 2: did her show, you didn't say it about me. You
Speaker 2: only said about her. These are great questions. I sure,
Speaker 2: what is it fear that you are actively working through?
Speaker 2: That's a good one because you present yeah as fearless. Wow, really,
Speaker 2: I just told you I was so scared of spiders,
Speaker 2: like right before we saw.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's not the same thing. It's not.
Speaker 2: No, you're not scared of spiders is going to stop
Speaker 2: you from living your life?
Speaker 1: That's true, but I don't go camping. Well then, so
Speaker 1: maybe slightly living your life if you wanted to camp.
Speaker 1: But you present as fearless. Yeah, So are there fears
Speaker 1: that you've had to overcome to be able to be
Speaker 1: the person that you are? I? Yes, yes, yes, but
Speaker 1: the inevitable is my ultimate fear, which is death.
Speaker 2: Sorry, no, you're bringing to stop. Don't stop there.
Speaker 1: Oh this is a really good ball. You shouldn't have
Speaker 1: some money in here. I know it will Usually people
Speaker 1: just picked one, but you do like a glutton for that.
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to stop you. No, I wasn't going
Speaker 1: to stop you. It's just that you were so good.
Speaker 1: I didn't want to stop you. That could be the
Speaker 1: last one. But that could be the last one. But yeah,
Speaker 1: we under death. We ended death. But it's not death,
Speaker 1: it's fear of death. Yeah, because fear of losing people.
Speaker 1: Oh so that your fear of death is other people dying,
Speaker 1: not you dying both. Yes, Okay, there's levels to this.
Speaker 1: There is because I have people who think about it
Speaker 1: all the time. I know people who think about it
Speaker 1: all the time, and then some people who don't fear
Speaker 1: it at all at all. Yeah. Usually the people who
Speaker 1: have come really close to it don't really fear it
Speaker 1: as much. Yeah. I don't know where do you sit?
Speaker 1: I you know what this podcast was called. When we
Speaker 1: first launched the pod, it was called We're all going
Speaker 1: to die, so we better start living? Would you have
Speaker 1: would you have come to the show if that? If
Speaker 1: that was the name of it, I'll come to any
Speaker 1: show you do. Yeah, But it was called that because
Speaker 1: I had had a lot of loss at that time. Also,
Speaker 1: I was in a really bad car as I saw
Speaker 1: all these things, and I realized, we're all going to die,
Speaker 1: Like what do I really want to do? What do
Speaker 1: I really care about? Knowing that our time here is limited?
Speaker 1: What's important to me? And so that was the concept
Speaker 1: of it. But I realized that would scare some people off.
Speaker 1: So we went to in real life, like what do
Speaker 1: we what do we care about in real life? And
Speaker 1: so we landed in real life. But yeah, I'm very
Speaker 1: interested in the subject because I do think it our
Speaker 1: fear of it. Sometimes I don't know, it's it controls
Speaker 1: how we how we live and what we do at
Speaker 1: the time we have and sometimes we get we get
Speaker 1: scared to do certain things because what we live in
Speaker 1: fear or worry or can I don't know.
Speaker 2: I just wonder where it lands for you.
Speaker 1: I Yeah, no, I'm fearless.
Speaker 2: I'm definitely fearless because because it's coming, you know, and
Speaker 2: so so and that's why I started stand up, because
Speaker 2: after nine eleven, I'm like, oh, we might die, so
Speaker 2: we better start living.
Speaker 1: Oh that's right.
Speaker 2: So you were fueled by that too, I did hear that. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and my dad has had dementia for a long time,
Speaker 2: and he's sort of like wasting away, and so it's
Speaker 2: like this prolonged goodbye but also like a prolong like
Speaker 2: I still have you, Like it's just a very And
Speaker 2: then you know people that are very close to me
Speaker 2: that have cancer, it's uh, it's death. That's the one
Speaker 2: thing that we can't control that we can't control.
Speaker 1: Fuck it sucks.
Speaker 2: It fucking sucks, and I want them here. Yeah, and
Speaker 2: I want them here.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, I have two friends dealing with parents with
Speaker 1: dementia right now. What a challenging kind of roller coaster.
Speaker 1: Very yeah, very But but to your point, there's some
Speaker 1: type of collateral beauty like in appreciating, Yeah, the moments.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's almost like I get to take care of
Speaker 2: my dad now. But it's also like the thing where
Speaker 2: like I know he wouldn't have wanted this, but I'm
Speaker 2: looking at him and he's so happy, but then he's
Speaker 2: also like, you know not, It's just it is a
Speaker 2: very fucked up, confusing thing where you just truly it
Speaker 2: humanizes every and anything you can ever be with, do
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? And uh, like even my
Speaker 2: kids when I show them pictures like of them with
Speaker 2: my dad three years ago. They're like, who's that guy?
Speaker 2: I'm like, that is your grandfather playing with you, the
Speaker 2: scary guy in the bed. And I'm like, he's not scary.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 1: That's tough, tough, and so yeah, it's just yeah, death,
Speaker 1: that's this is a shitty way to end the conversation.
Speaker 1: It's pretty great, you think so, think so we had
Speaker 1: such a like bright, happy conversation.
Speaker 2: We can't land it on us. No, I don't think.
Speaker 1: So go back at the go, back at the ball,
Speaker 1: back at the ball. I go, bitch, question, what are
Speaker 1: some of your pet peeves or triggers? Oh? How much
Speaker 1: time we got? Tell me that was before you go?
Speaker 2: I mean, I think, I mean.
Speaker 1: Adults that act like children.
Speaker 2: Do you need a pillow on a fucking plane?
Speaker 1: You don't.
Speaker 2: Do you need to complain about your food allergy? No,
Speaker 2: fucking be an adult person. Order what the fuck you
Speaker 2: gotta order, and don't tell me about.
Speaker 1: Your gas at dinner.
Speaker 2: At dinner, stop trying to put pet peet. When somebody
Speaker 2: wants to yuck, you're yum when they do the yeah,
Speaker 2: but get the fuck out of here. Talk to your
Speaker 2: mom about that bullshit.
Speaker 1: Somebody who yucks you'r yum.
Speaker 2: No yuck, my yum ever ever, this is my yummy moment?
Speaker 1: Is your husband? Is your husband good at that? Not yuck?
Speaker 2: And you're yum?
Speaker 1: No, he's a virgo?
Speaker 2: Does he's born to yuck?
Speaker 1: Oh? Really? I thought that was going to be the
Speaker 1: key to your to finding the right person for you.
Speaker 1: You know, it's so funny.
Speaker 2: It's so funny because he has to think about everything
Speaker 2: he does and like read the comments and and you know,
Speaker 2: and not the comments or what is it called when
Speaker 2: people like leave reviews about something. He has to be
Speaker 2: very organized in his thought process.
Speaker 1: I'm like, or we could do it and then fuck
Speaker 1: up and learn from our mistake. I love sucking up
Speaker 1: and learning from my massage. Oh it's my most favorite thing.
Speaker 1: What's your moon?
Speaker 2: My moon? Is it a fire?
Speaker 1: I don't know? Should I know? You should know? How
Speaker 1: do I find out? Ask somebody? Ooh yeah, oh I
Speaker 1: did this? Yeah I did it.
Speaker 2: Do you know your rising in your moon? No?
Speaker 1: Okay, would that serve me to know? Yes? It would?
Speaker 2: I think it's fire. Might have a fire in your chart? Okay?
Speaker 2: What is the fear that you're actually working through?
Speaker 1: Do I do that? I really think you've done all
Speaker 1: the damn wolves I'm trying to find.
Speaker 2: I'm really just stalling, letting you do it till I
Speaker 2: find my like some perfect Lately, I've been reminding myself that,
Speaker 2: oh it's okay, it's okay, it's okay to not be
Speaker 2: okay because menopause is like new for me. Oh you
Speaker 2: just it's new for me, and I don't sweat, but
Speaker 2: the hot flash makes me feel anxious, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: are we going to die? It was like, is there turbulence?
Speaker 2: Everyone looks so happy, and I'm like, can we turn
Speaker 2: the arron? And because it's like yeah, okay, I'm like
Speaker 2: so like it's a weird thing where I'm like, nobody
Speaker 2: else feels like that with something you used to be
Speaker 2: embarrassed about that now you own. What if every answer
Speaker 2: was just queping, you should totally do that? Okay, guilty pleasure.
Speaker 2: I found two here Democracy, Democracy, that's my guilty pleasure.
Speaker 1: MM. When everybody's gotta say, mom, what a kick? I
Speaker 1: am no longer fucking ho, I am no longer available for.
Speaker 2: You're bullshit? Do some get therapy. There's a whole you
Speaker 2: can you don't have to go in person. You can
Speaker 2: get your degree from DeVry online and also get therapy.
Speaker 2: The best advice someone has ever given you, Oh my god,
Speaker 2: so many things. Will Sylviance, who's a really funny comedian
Speaker 2: you know well love well.
Speaker 1: He does a lot of stuff with cipher yah cypha sounds.
Speaker 2: Will When I first started comedy, he was like one
Speaker 2: of the only straight dudes who was like who wasn't
Speaker 2: like touched my dick for stage time and uh, that
Speaker 2: wasn't his advice, but he was just nice to me,
Speaker 2: and he said, as soon as you get good in
Speaker 2: this room, go to another room where you suck, and
Speaker 2: that's how you get better. Because everybody wants to answer
Speaker 2: how do I make money?
Speaker 1: Have my money?
Speaker 2: And he was like, get good, get good, and I
Speaker 2: was like, oh, got you. And then I got good
Speaker 2: and I was like, oo, be so undeniable that nobody
Speaker 2: could fuck with you. And so that really helped me
Speaker 2: and like shaped me because then I was already fearless
Speaker 2: enough to like get on stage. But then like everybody
Speaker 2: puts the thing on you. Like even within comedy, when
Speaker 2: you make up your own rules, people are like, you
Speaker 2: got to go to this club, you gotta sit around
Speaker 2: and hang out. I'm like I want to fuck a
Speaker 2: hang out. I got friends, Okay, I want to see
Speaker 2: my friends. I want to hang with you fucks. I
Speaker 2: want to do what I want to do my set
Speaker 2: and want to go and I hang out with you
Speaker 2: and talk about your fucking joke. So that advice with
Speaker 2: some people who have had success. Sometimes you get content
Speaker 2: in your little box of success or. But to go
Speaker 2: into a different room, and that's a different kind of ego.
Speaker 2: That's an insecure ego, the one that always has to
Speaker 2: be big fish and be right. I think a really healthy,
Speaker 2: beautiful ego is the one that's working that doesn't mind
Speaker 2: like going into rooms where you don't know everything, but
Speaker 2: you still know what you know and you want to
Speaker 2: work with people. That's like the type of ego I
Speaker 2: want to work with. M Yeah, And how can you
Speaker 2: learn if you stay in that same little room.
Speaker 1: That's the thing. And people don't want to learn because
Speaker 1: they think they know everything. Okay, Will with the good advice.
Speaker 2: It's good advice, yeah, Will, it's good.
Speaker 1: You never know when you say something to somebody how
Speaker 1: it sits and lands with them forever. It's two thousand
Speaker 1: and two. Yeah, Yeah, And this last one, I'd like
Speaker 1: to end with this because when okay, because you got
Speaker 1: to end it. You got to end it at some
Speaker 1: point because we could literally sit here, then we could
Speaker 1: do a whole other interview and you could be Mavis
Speaker 1: and I could be Dawn.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Charles Renee, he was great. Run Ricau's amazing.
Speaker 1: But you had this incredible show movies. You're about to
Speaker 1: go on tour and Netflix special is going to be filmed,
Speaker 1: getting filmed. You've broken barriers. You're a great mom who
Speaker 1: adores her kids, sixteen year marriage, a long time, I
Speaker 1: mean a lot of successes in your life. Yeah, you're happy,
Speaker 1: you're taking care of your dad, You're seeing even the
Speaker 1: beauty in some of those moments. Yeah, Like, this is
Speaker 1: a lot that you've that you've done. What are you
Speaker 1: most proud of about yourself? All of those things that.
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 2: That no matter what I am, who I am, I'm
Speaker 2: still this thick, titty, freckle faces bitch that wants to
Speaker 2: make people laugh and trying to have a clean kitchen
Speaker 2: and manicured feet and have a good day, you know,
Speaker 2: and uh it it feels me to uplift people, you know.
Speaker 2: So yeah, then I'm that bitch that I still have
Speaker 2: friends from like first grade to high school of college
Speaker 2: that you know. I'm still that bitch. Yeah, fame is
Speaker 2: like what is fame? Famous? Just a tax bracket. We're
Speaker 2: like a fucking check on a social media page, you know.
Speaker 2: I think success is you know when you're happy, right,
Speaker 2: when you're happy, when you're a good person, you do
Speaker 2: good things.
Speaker 1: That's really good.
Speaker 2: Now, that's how you end the college.
Speaker 1: Hey, I'm gonna showto in real life. Hey guys, thanks
Speaker 1: for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like comments, and check
Speaker 1: out all of the other episodes we have on Edge.
Speaker 1: Martinez I RL Podcast