WEBVTT - Weird Little Guys 2025 Q&A 0:00:01.680 --> 0:00:12.840 Cool Zone Media. Hello and welcome to the December twenty 0:00:12.880 --> 0:00:15.800 twenty five Q and A episode of Weird Little Guys. 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:19.079 I was always planning to do a Q and A 0:00:19.160 --> 0:00:22.400 episode this month. I think most of the shows in 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:25.600 the Cool Zone Media family do one of these around 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:28.600 the end of the year, but this one is coming 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:32.199 a little early. You probably noticed that there was an 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:35.760 unexpected rerun a few weeks ago, and that's because I 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:40.360 was very sick. I had some sort of terrible virus 0:00:40.360 --> 0:00:44.400 and it knocked me out for like two weeks. The 0:00:44.520 --> 0:00:49.000 worst part was the laryngitis. I was on total vocal 0:00:49.040 --> 0:00:53.159 rest for more than a week, mostly because I couldn't 0:00:53.200 --> 0:00:56.080 have made a sound even if I wanted to. It 0:00:56.120 --> 0:01:01.400 was torture, not just because that's literally my livelihood, but 0:01:02.120 --> 0:01:05.800 I love talking. I mean, I have to talk for work. 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:09.560 You can't make a podcast without talking, but I just 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:14.640 love talking recreationally. I never stopped talking, so it was 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:19.759 a nightmare. Anyway. I lost two weeks of my life 0:01:19.800 --> 0:01:22.240 to the blanket fort on the couch. And then there's 0:01:22.280 --> 0:01:26.319 the general messiness of the holiday season. So I'm all 0:01:26.360 --> 0:01:29.440 mixed up in backwards but trying to get back on track. 0:01:30.920 --> 0:01:32.640 We will hit the ground running in the new year 0:01:32.720 --> 0:01:36.160 with something fun and exciting, but this month is just 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:39.000 going to be a hodgepodge of different sorts of episodes. 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:42.520 The episode I have planned for next week is a 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:45.920 sort of Weird Little Guy round up, just catching up 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:48.960 with recent developments in the lives of some of the 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:51.000 weird Little Guys I've been checking in on from time 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:55.760 to time for years. I originally had this episode and 0:01:55.800 --> 0:01:59.320 that episode switched on my calendar, but I think waiting 0:01:59.400 --> 0:02:02.240 one more week might be enough time to get some 0:02:02.320 --> 0:02:07.120 more updates in some of those stories. So for now, 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:13.639 let's get to your questions. I put out a call 0:02:13.680 --> 0:02:16.040 a few weeks ago, and I've sorted the questions you 0:02:16.080 --> 0:02:20.280 all sent in into a few broad categories. Questions about 0:02:20.280 --> 0:02:23.960 the process of making the show, questions about particular topics 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:29.920 you'd like to see covered, and questions about me. I 0:02:29.919 --> 0:02:32.680 won't be able to answer all of them specifically, but 0:02:32.760 --> 0:02:34.440 I am going to try to get to at least 0:02:34.440 --> 0:02:37.639 one of every flavor of questions that you guys had, 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:44.280 And honestly, most of what you guys asked is about me. 0:02:46.520 --> 0:02:50.440 There were relatively few questions about particular weird Little guys, 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:56.119 or the actual content of the show, the overwhelming majority 0:02:56.120 --> 0:02:59.560 of the questions, or about the nitty gritty details of 0:03:00.000 --> 0:03:03.040 how I make the show, about my life and my 0:03:03.240 --> 0:03:06.840 process and what I'm doing when I'm not writing the 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:09.960 words you hear me saying softly into your headphones every week. 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:13.840 I think part of that is just a built in 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:18.040 selection bias, Right. The kind of listener is going to 0:03:18.080 --> 0:03:21.640 bother to send in a question to a podcast isn't 0:03:21.680 --> 0:03:27.160 necessarily representative of the overall audience, and those listeners are 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:30.480 probably more likely to be invested in knowing what goes 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:34.040 on behind the scenes. But as I was sifting through 0:03:34.080 --> 0:03:38.000 those questions, I did spend some time ruminating on the 0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:43.560 nature of the parasocial relationship that one sided relationship formed 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:45.480 in the mind of someone who consumes a piece of 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:50.160 mass media. You know, that feeling of friendship and emotional 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:56.080 intimacy you feel for someone you've never actually met. It's 0:03:56.120 --> 0:04:00.160 not necessarily a bad thing. I'm not calling any of 0:04:00.200 --> 0:04:04.480 you out. You're okay. It's perfectly normal to feel some 0:04:04.760 --> 0:04:07.240 level of connection to the people that you see or 0:04:07.280 --> 0:04:11.920 hear on a regular basis. I think the term has 0:04:11.960 --> 0:04:15.640 a pretty nasty connotation because usually by the time you're 0:04:15.680 --> 0:04:21.040 talking about someone's parasocial relationship, it has gotten weird. Like 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:24.039 John Hinckley Junior shooting Ronald Reagan because he was in 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:29.479 love with Jodie Foster levels of weird, you know. But 0:04:29.520 --> 0:04:31.799 I don't think there's anyone with access to the Internet 0:04:31.800 --> 0:04:36.120 who doesn't have some low level emotional connection to someone 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:40.120 they've never met. If you've ever been sad because a 0:04:40.160 --> 0:04:44.120 dog you follow on Instagram died, buddy, I got news 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:47.320 for you. You were in a parasocial relationship with a dog. 0:04:48.960 --> 0:04:51.760 So as long as you're not neglecting your real life 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:55.919 relationships in favor of spending time online obsessing over some 0:04:56.080 --> 0:04:59.160 stranger who's videos you like to watch, or letting that 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:02.000 online strain impact the way you live your life, and 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:05.320 you're not slipping into a delusion that they love you back, 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:11.680 you're probably fine. The term was coined in the nineteen 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.640 fifties by a pair of sociologists who are exploring the 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:19.360 ways audiences form these relationships with TV and radio personalities, 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:23.480 and in the decades since the ubiquity of mass media 0:05:23.560 --> 0:05:27.120 and the rise of online influencers, many of whom are 0:05:27.320 --> 0:05:31.560 intentionally cultivating that sense of intimacy with the audience. It's 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:36.240 only intensified the kinds of parasocial connections people are experiencing, 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:40.640 and with a podcast, it really is kind of like 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:44.320 having a little friend in your ear. Right. We're walking 0:05:44.400 --> 0:05:47.120 around together and I'm telling you a story. It's just 0:05:47.200 --> 0:05:50.200 someone chatting away with you while you're doing your dishes 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:55.640 or commuting to work. I've been making my living writing 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:58.760 for an online audience for almost a decade now, so 0:05:59.640 --> 0:06:02.680 it's an interesting phenomenon that very much plays a role 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:06.280 in my life. So I think it's fascinating. But that's 0:06:06.360 --> 0:06:09.279 not what we're here to talk about today. You know, 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:11.680 I can't resist reading a couple of journal articles for 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:14.000 no reason, though, so I'll put a link in the 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:16.800 show notes to that original nineteen fifty six article that 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:20.240 invented the term, as well as a twenty nineteen university 0:06:20.279 --> 0:06:26.159 thesis about parasociality specifically in podcasting that I thought was interesting. 0:06:26.960 --> 0:06:28.160 So those will be there if you want to read 0:06:28.160 --> 0:06:31.320 more about it. But as far as what we're talking 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:34.760 about here, I don't mind if you think of me 0:06:34.800 --> 0:06:36.760 as the friend in your ear for an hour a week. 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:41.400 It's kind of nice, but like I say at the 0:06:41.480 --> 0:06:45.760 end of every episode, just don't post anything that's going 0:06:45.800 --> 0:06:47.800 to make you one of my weird little guys. Right, 0:06:49.400 --> 0:06:51.640 And for the listener who asked if that sign off 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:55.680 is a direct response to something someone already did, No, 0:06:56.360 --> 0:07:00.279 it's just a precaution. I've been online long enough to 0:07:00.440 --> 0:07:03.120 have been on the weird end of a parasocial bond. 0:07:04.120 --> 0:07:07.360 But the listeners of this show have been pretty normal 0:07:07.560 --> 0:07:13.040 little guys so far, and I appreciate that about you. All. 0:07:13.160 --> 0:07:17.200 All that to say, I did notice that trend in 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:21.760 the questions, but I'm happy to answer your healthy, boundary 0:07:21.800 --> 0:07:26.400 respecting questions about the little voice in your ear. Just 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:32.520 don't get any weird ideas. Okay, all right, rapid fire, 0:07:32.960 --> 0:07:37.160 let's knock out some of those questions about me. My docxins, 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:41.160 Buck and Otto are doing great. They turned nine in 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:45.040 July and they're still going strong. Otto actually just recently 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:48.280 celebrated his fourth anniversary as the dog who Conquered Death. 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:52.400 Back in twenty twenty one, he suffered a ruptured disc 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:56.160 in his spine, which is an unfortunate problem many docsins have, 0:07:57.080 --> 0:08:01.880 and he was diagnosed with stage four intervertebral disease. There 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:05.880 was no precipitating injury. His brother doesn't have this problems. 0:08:06.720 --> 0:08:10.960 It's just bad luck. And back when it happened, we 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:14.480 weren't sure he would survive his emergency surgery, and when 0:08:14.480 --> 0:08:17.080 he did, they told us he would never walk again. 0:08:18.760 --> 0:08:20.760 But after a few weeks of lying on a blanket 0:08:20.800 --> 0:08:24.840 wearing a diaper, he got bored of being paralyzed and 0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:28.960 he just stood up. So we celebrated the anniversary this 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:31.480 year by taking him to the beach so he could 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:34.520 run a million miles an hour in the sand. He's 0:08:34.559 --> 0:08:40.120 doing great. Can you see a picture of my office? 0:08:40.360 --> 0:08:47.240 Absolutely not, no, no, but only because it's disgusting. I 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:50.080 dumped every piece of clothing I own onto the floor 0:08:50.240 --> 0:08:53.840 about two years ago because I was about to start 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:55.679 sorting through it so I could get rid of the 0:08:55.679 --> 0:08:59.120 stuff I don't wear anymore. But I never got to 0:08:59.200 --> 0:09:02.040 the second step up. So my office has had a 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:05.560 foot deep pile of laundry that covers half the room, 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:09.400 and I've just been stepping over it for two entire years. 0:09:10.640 --> 0:09:14.240 I am just days away from hanging those curtains I 0:09:14.280 --> 0:09:16.080 bought a year ago because I thought that would be 0:09:16.080 --> 0:09:20.320 good for sound dampening or whatever. But at this point 0:09:20.679 --> 0:09:23.760 I think the laundry pile is actually an integral part 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:27.920 of the acoustic environment of the show. I do have 0:09:27.960 --> 0:09:30.720 a desk, but I do not sit at it because 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:34.480 it has covered an old male. I write and record 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:37.040 the entire show in an Ikea chair I found next 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:39.679 to someone's trash can, and one of the bulbs in 0:09:39.720 --> 0:09:43.480 the overhead light has been burnt out since spring. I 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:47.720 think I just closed the door to my podcasting cave. 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.880 When people come over, no one is allowed to see it. 0:09:53.160 --> 0:09:55.280 I think this question might have something to do with 0:09:55.320 --> 0:09:58.160 the fact that Ed Zitron, the host of Better Offline, 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:03.559 has posted pictures of the like incredible professional greed podcasting 0:10:03.679 --> 0:10:08.560 studio he built inside of his home. I don't have that. 0:10:09.440 --> 0:10:12.199 I don't have what Ed has. That's phenomenal for him, 0:10:12.200 --> 0:10:15.280 that's so weird. I love that for him. I have 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:20.240 an Ikea chair that I found on the curb. What 0:10:20.440 --> 0:10:23.040 is my go to snack and drink when I'm working 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:28.600 on the show. Hmm, another disappointing answer. I fear the 0:10:28.640 --> 0:10:32.520 windowsill next to my trash chair has at least four 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.920 cans of seltzer on it at all times, the cans 0:10:35.960 --> 0:10:40.559 are at varying levels of emptiness and flatness. Right now, 0:10:40.600 --> 0:10:43.680 there are four cans. None of them are the same 0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:47.720 brand somehow, and one of them has definitely been open 0:10:47.920 --> 0:10:54.480 since early November. I am going to finish it. I'm 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:58.760 not responsible for the food situation, thank god. My husband 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:02.920 usually tiptoes in to deliver these beautiful little snack plates 0:11:02.920 --> 0:11:06.280 with fruit and cheese, and he's done pretty much all 0:11:06.280 --> 0:11:08.600 of the cooking around here ever since the show launched, 0:11:08.600 --> 0:11:11.400 and I became a round the clock computer gremlin in 0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:16.199 my podcasting cave, and that brings us to my husband. 0:11:16.480 --> 0:11:20.800 Several of you asked about him. He's great. If you're 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:22.960 a longtime listener, you know that I took some time 0:11:23.000 --> 0:11:25.880 off in May to get married and go on a honeymoon. 0:11:26.880 --> 0:11:30.520 It was phenomenal. We went to Puerto Rico and I 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:35.080 only got a little sunburned this time. I was careful 0:11:35.800 --> 0:11:38.240 because last year when we went to visit his family 0:11:38.280 --> 0:11:42.199 down there, I found out that some white people can 0:11:42.320 --> 0:11:46.000 unlock a special, secret level of sunburn that makes you 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:52.120 very physically ill. So honestly, shout out to the Caribbean 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:55.960 for developing a natural defense against the gringo. I have 0:11:56.040 --> 0:12:00.480 no choice but to respect that for the moment part. 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:02.960 When you hear a voice on the show that isn't mine, 0:12:03.640 --> 0:12:08.120 it's actual archival audio. I go to a lot of 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:11.800 trouble to make that true, so it's usually a real 0:12:11.880 --> 0:12:15.920 recording of the weird little guy we're talking about. When 0:12:15.920 --> 0:12:17.960 there is no audio of the quote that I want 0:12:18.000 --> 0:12:21.040 read in a voice that isn't mine, though, it's almost 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:25.719 always either my husband or the show's editor, Rory. There 0:12:25.720 --> 0:12:29.800 was an episode last year early this year, early twenty 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:33.280 twenty five that had some quotes from the President, and 0:12:33.440 --> 0:12:37.520 Rory did a phenomenal Trump impression that made some of 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:42.000 you very mad. But what you may not have realized 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:45.280 is that when my husband is doing a voice, it's 0:12:45.360 --> 0:12:49.920 also a carefully studied impression, right, like you recognize the 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.960 Trump impression, but when he does some obscure white supremacist 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:56.199 no one's ever heard of, you don't realize that he's 0:12:56.280 --> 0:13:02.079 actually doing an amazing impression. Weirdly good at them, and 0:13:02.120 --> 0:13:05.080 he is very excited for the day that he gets 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:10.400 to show off his upsettingly accurate impressions of William Luther 0:13:10.520 --> 0:13:16.080 Pierce and Jared Taylor just please don't ask him to 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:19.040 do his Alex Jones. He's really good at it and 0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:25.120 I hate it. Okay. Someone asked what is my favorite dinosaur? 0:13:26.720 --> 0:13:29.600 I don't have one, but I wanted to have a 0:13:29.640 --> 0:13:32.760 cool answer to this question, so I texted my brother 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:35.280 to ask what a cool dinosaur would be to say, 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:38.319 is my favorite? Because he knows a lot about dinosaurs, 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.120 and he gave me some good answers, you know, some 0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:45.760 specific vibes that I could evoke with different choices. We're 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:48.840 very well thought out. But I realized it would be 0:13:48.880 --> 0:13:52.400 dishonest to claim that dino knowledge as my own, so 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:56.559 I am going to cheat and say my favorite dinosaur 0:13:57.120 --> 0:14:03.679 is that bird that Bitjyra Bolsnaro years ago. Birds are dinosaurs, 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:07.400 and that bird, in particular, the one that bit Bolsnorow 0:14:07.520 --> 0:14:12.480 really hard, is my favorite. I think it was a raya. 0:14:12.920 --> 0:14:15.719 It's like a small emu. It's not an emo. It's 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:17.599 like a small guy that looks like an emu. I 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:22.960 think it was a raya. Anyway, he's my favorite. Quite 0:14:23.000 --> 0:14:26.760 a few of you submitted questions related to my physical 0:14:26.800 --> 0:14:30.400 safety and my mental well being, which is really sweet 0:14:30.440 --> 0:14:35.200 of you. I'm fine. I mean to the extent that 0:14:35.920 --> 0:14:39.040 any of us are fine. Right, I live in the 0:14:39.120 --> 0:14:41.600 United States. I could die in a mass shooting at 0:14:41.640 --> 0:14:46.560 the grocery store tomorrow. As far as the possibility of 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:52.120 physical violence goes, Yeah, I guess I've probably got a 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:57.400 few more guys actively plotting my death specifically than the 0:14:57.440 --> 0:15:00.960 average person might. But they've it's mostly been keeping it 0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:06.320 themselves lately, and I really appreciate that. There was an 0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:09.120 incident earlier this year where a weird little guy was 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:11.760 trying to like big dog me in a courtroom. He 0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:14.400 sort of sidled up to me and said something he 0:15:14.560 --> 0:15:17.320 probably thought about for an hour on the car ride there, 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:20.560 and that he hoped would be really startling and intimidating 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:24.480 to me. But at this point in my life, there's 0:15:24.560 --> 0:15:27.480 nothing scary to me about a Nazi in poorly fitted 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:33.520 dress pants. I'm not going to pretend I'm bulletproof. I'm 0:15:33.560 --> 0:15:36.240 not so naive that I think no harm can come 0:15:36.280 --> 0:15:39.240 to me. I know what these guys are capable of 0:15:39.800 --> 0:15:42.040 the kinds of things they want to do, the kinds 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:44.280 of things they talk about doing, the kinds of things 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:47.560 some of them have done. And I'll still be writing 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:49.720 about it when one of them goes and does another 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:54.240 unspeakable thing. I know that it's foolish to say that 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:59.440 they're all talk, but I also know a lot of 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:03.840 them are. A lot of them are a lot smaller 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:08.520 in person. And I don't mean physically. I'm not talking 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:10.840 about getting into a physical fight. I'm five feet tall 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:14.960 with my shoes on. But what I'm saying is there 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:18.800 were little guys. That's why the show's called that they're 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:23.080 so small in person. That's the whole point. They talk 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:27.120 big when it's online or at a rally with high energy, 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:30.359 or when they're with their friends, but in my experience, 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.360 most of them get stage fright if they actually get 0:16:34.400 --> 0:16:36.560 the chance to say that shit out loud in a 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:41.600 quiet room. Back in twenty twenty three, I actually met 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:45.720 a guy who'd had some big talk about me online. 0:16:45.840 --> 0:16:48.640 I may have told the story before, forgive me, but 0:16:49.560 --> 0:16:51.640 he was in town because he'd been charged with a crime, 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:55.200 and that was something that really solidified for him that 0:16:56.000 --> 0:16:58.600 being involved in the movement was a stupid way to 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:05.480 spend his life. He's probably still not not a white supremacist, 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:09.159 you know. I'm not saying he's reformed now, but he 0:17:09.280 --> 0:17:12.120 was disengaging from active involvement in the movement, and that's 0:17:12.160 --> 0:17:15.800 the best you can hope for sometimes. So by the 0:17:15.840 --> 0:17:18.879 time we're standing there alone on the steps of the courthouse, 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.040 it had been a couple of years since he was 0:17:22.040 --> 0:17:24.800 on a Nazi podcast talking with his Nazi friends about 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:26.760 the ways they would be interested in murdering me if 0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:31.600 the opportunity presented itself. He look, I'm not gonna lie 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:35.159 to you. When I heard that the first time, hunched 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:40.879 over my computer alone late at night. Yeah, obviously it 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:45.080 scared me a little bit, right. It was very graphic, 0:17:45.680 --> 0:17:49.560 and I didn't know exactly who those men were or 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:52.480 where they were. I didn't know if they had the 0:17:52.560 --> 0:17:56.959 means to do the things they were talking about. So 0:17:57.000 --> 0:18:01.480 I found out and that made it easier. And when 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:05.160 I finally met him in person, I wasn't afraid of him. 0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:11.879 He seemed maybe a little bit afraid of me. It 0:18:11.920 --> 0:18:22.000 was just a weird little guy, kind of a sad one. 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:35.440 Another question people ask a lot, is is it mentally 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:40.480 destructive to do this kind of research. That's a fair question, 0:18:41.760 --> 0:18:44.840 and the answer changes depending on when you ask me. 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:51.440 I think, of course, it's horrible, right I'm a human being. 0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:54.880 Of course, it makes me sick to read about child 0:18:55.040 --> 0:18:59.399 sexual exploitation and hate crimes and mass murder, domestic violence 0:18:59.400 --> 0:19:03.080 and genocide, war crimes and all the other things the 0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:06.159 guys I write about are getting up to. It's not 0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:10.160 light reading. To spend all weeks sifting through gore forums 0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:12.399 trying to figure out who a mass shooter was chatting 0:19:12.400 --> 0:19:17.440 with online and accidentally seeing so many pictures of dead children. 0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:21.840 It's not fun to spend days on nazi forums trying 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:24.600 to reconstruct the social media history of a man who 0:19:24.680 --> 0:19:27.359 killed his wife. I'm not going to tell you that 0:19:27.440 --> 0:19:32.440 feels good, obviously. I think you know that, and it's 0:19:32.440 --> 0:19:34.919 not something I would recommend that someone else do. I 0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:37.679 would be concerned if someone I cared about was doing that. 0:19:39.520 --> 0:19:45.119 But I'm fine. You know. I'm not bragging about some 0:19:45.240 --> 0:19:47.960 kind of superior coping mechanism. I'm not better than you 0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:51.240 or stronger than you. I don't even have any constructive 0:19:51.240 --> 0:19:54.480 advice for you if this is something you're struggling with. 0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:59.080 I don't know how to advise anyone else who's dealing 0:19:59.119 --> 0:20:03.800 with vicarious trum of this kind of research. And that's 0:20:03.840 --> 0:20:07.240 why I hate this question. I mean no offense. It 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:09.840 makes sense that you would ask it. I just hate 0:20:09.840 --> 0:20:12.280 that I don't have a good answer for you. I 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:14.920 don't have any advice for you. I don't know why 0:20:14.960 --> 0:20:16.919 it works, and I don't want you to think I'm 0:20:16.960 --> 0:20:21.280 a sociopath when I tell you that I actually don't 0:20:21.840 --> 0:20:24.080 struggle with this that much. I can turn it off. 0:20:25.720 --> 0:20:28.400 But that's not to say I don't feel it. I'm 0:20:28.440 --> 0:20:31.880 not a robot, I'm not a monster. I feel it, 0:20:31.960 --> 0:20:37.959 and I feel it deeply when I'm allowing myself to 0:20:38.000 --> 0:20:41.760 be in it. There are episodes where there is no 0:20:41.880 --> 0:20:44.879 clean take, and there's no way around the fact that 0:20:44.920 --> 0:20:50.400 I am audibly crying in the final edit, and that's okay, 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:54.120 but I already know that the horrors are out there. 0:20:55.280 --> 0:21:00.280 I can't go back to not knowing about this, So 0:21:00.359 --> 0:21:04.240 for me, there's some comfort in knowing that I can 0:21:04.240 --> 0:21:08.520 piece it together. I can try to understand it and 0:21:09.400 --> 0:21:14.000 hopefully help you understand it. You know, I could sit 0:21:14.080 --> 0:21:17.120 here and be scared in the dark, or I can 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:21.639 try to shine a light into that scary darkness. It's 0:21:21.680 --> 0:21:24.560 still scary, but at least I have something to do. 0:21:26.600 --> 0:21:31.160 Like I said, I get asked this question every time 0:21:31.240 --> 0:21:33.520 I'm in a position to be asked a question. I've 0:21:33.560 --> 0:21:37.680 been asked this question a thousand times, and I don't 0:21:38.040 --> 0:21:41.080 have a good answer for it, but I always land 0:21:41.720 --> 0:21:46.520 more or less right here. It's ugly, and it's hard, 0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:49.040 and I see things that I wish I hadn't seen, 0:21:50.960 --> 0:21:54.400 but I think it's important to do anyway, and that 0:21:54.480 --> 0:22:01.800 feeling of purpose makes it a little easier. Okay, enough 0:22:01.840 --> 0:22:05.959 of that. By far, the most common type of question 0:22:06.560 --> 0:22:10.040 was a sort of open ended one about how the 0:22:10.080 --> 0:22:13.479 sausage gets made, how do I pick a guy, how 0:22:13.480 --> 0:22:15.359 do I decide what the story is, how do I 0:22:15.440 --> 0:22:17.679 find out everything there is to know about him? And 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:21.359 most importantly, how do I drag myself back to the 0:22:21.400 --> 0:22:23.800 point of the story when it's so much more fun 0:22:24.359 --> 0:22:26.440 to find out what's going on with this strange little 0:22:26.440 --> 0:22:28.800 side character. I found halfway down a tangent about something 0:22:28.840 --> 0:22:30.920 that's barely even connected to the story. I was trying 0:22:30.960 --> 0:22:33.479 to tell you. A lot of you asked about that 0:22:33.520 --> 0:22:36.640 part of the process in particular, and I love that. 0:22:38.680 --> 0:22:41.800 Like I said, when I was sorting these questions into categories, 0:22:42.720 --> 0:22:45.520 I was a little puzzled by the scarcity of questions 0:22:45.560 --> 0:22:49.960 that were about some specific story. You guys, didn't really 0:22:50.000 --> 0:22:52.359 ask me for more information about a story I already 0:22:52.359 --> 0:22:56.800 told you. You asked me really open ended questions about 0:22:57.240 --> 0:23:01.800 what kinds of things I haven't told you. And my 0:23:01.840 --> 0:23:05.920 initial reaction to that was, like, I said, a reflection 0:23:06.040 --> 0:23:09.760 on the nature of parasociality, right, Like why are those 0:23:09.840 --> 0:23:13.600 the things you want to know? But I think there's 0:23:13.640 --> 0:23:18.000 a more fun explanation for this. You trust the process. 0:23:19.320 --> 0:23:21.359 You believe me when I tell you that I was 0:23:21.400 --> 0:23:24.000 thorough in pursuing the interesting leads in the story I 0:23:24.040 --> 0:23:27.680 did tell, and you liked it enough that you want 0:23:27.680 --> 0:23:30.720 to know what cool stuff I couldn't cram into the episode. 0:23:32.560 --> 0:23:35.440 Maybe I'm making that up, but if that is what's 0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:39.879 going on, I like that. I know the show can 0:23:39.960 --> 0:23:43.160 be a little tricky to follow sometimes because the side 0:23:43.240 --> 0:23:46.960 quests are longer than the main journey. So I really 0:23:47.040 --> 0:23:50.159 like knowing that at least some of you love that 0:23:50.200 --> 0:23:52.679 as much as I do. I mean, look, if you 0:23:52.720 --> 0:23:55.000 don't like it, if you just want dry facts in 0:23:55.080 --> 0:23:56.879 chronological order, I don't know what to tell you. I 0:23:56.880 --> 0:24:00.160 don't know why you're still here. I would tell you 0:24:00.160 --> 0:24:02.280 you should just read a Wikipedia article or something. But 0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:06.359 most of the stories I'm trying to tell don't really 0:24:06.400 --> 0:24:10.400 exist anywhere else in that sort of format. We're going 0:24:10.440 --> 0:24:15.600 on an adventure together. But I do want to answer 0:24:15.960 --> 0:24:19.719 one question I did get that was a factual question 0:24:19.800 --> 0:24:24.080 about a recent episode. Someone on the Reddit posted this 0:24:24.160 --> 0:24:28.920 question a few weeks ago. They wrote, with the Frank 0:24:28.960 --> 0:24:32.320 Smith mini series wrapping up, I assumed you would revisit 0:24:32.400 --> 0:24:36.280 the fact that Rockwell shouted the Holy Father after a 0:24:36.320 --> 0:24:39.840 previous attempt on his life. According to someone with him, 0:24:40.280 --> 0:24:45.879 is there anything more to investigate there? Okay, the answer 0:24:45.960 --> 0:24:51.560 is we'll never know. I threw everything I had at 0:24:51.560 --> 0:24:56.520 this and I do have my own theory. But I 0:24:56.600 --> 0:25:00.879 went digging for anything concrete to try to ulster that theory, 0:25:00.960 --> 0:25:05.400 and it was nothing but fistfuls of sand, just grabbing 0:25:05.400 --> 0:25:09.040 an innuendo and possibility and watching it slip through my fingers. 0:25:10.840 --> 0:25:13.920 To refresh your memory, that listener is asking about something 0:25:13.960 --> 0:25:16.639 that came up in the first episode about Frank Smith, 0:25:17.200 --> 0:25:21.480 the episode from October sixteenth. Frank Smith was a member 0:25:21.480 --> 0:25:24.040 of the American Nazi Party and he had extensive ties 0:25:24.080 --> 0:25:29.400 to organized crime in New England that whole arc from 0:25:29.560 --> 0:25:32.720 the episodes about John Patler, the man who assassinated George 0:25:32.760 --> 0:25:36.000 Lincoln Rockwell, through the end of the Frank Smith arc 0:25:36.680 --> 0:25:40.720 was nine full length episodes and one minisode. It was 0:25:40.880 --> 0:25:44.359 over fifty thousand scripted words, and it took two months. 0:25:45.040 --> 0:25:47.760 So I won't retell the whole story here. If you're 0:25:48.119 --> 0:25:51.520 listening to me Naval Gaze like this, you surely listen 0:25:51.600 --> 0:25:55.879 to those episodes, But just to refresh some of the details. 0:25:56.880 --> 0:26:00.639 Remember from the John Patler episodes, he murdered George Lincoln 0:26:00.720 --> 0:26:04.399 Rockwell in August of nineteen sixty seven, and he was 0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:07.200 convicted of that murder a trial a few months later. 0:26:08.880 --> 0:26:13.199 But two months before the murder, so in June of 0:26:13.280 --> 0:26:18.320 nineteen sixty seven, Rockwell survived another attempt on his life. 0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:24.440