1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,240 Speaker 1: This is Kelly Henderson and you are listening to the 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:05,160 Speaker 1: Velvet Edge podcast. My guest this week is the founder 3 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:09,440 Speaker 1: and coach behind the Emerging Woman movement, Morgan day Cecil. 4 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,720 Speaker 1: Going into these podcasts, I never know how I will 5 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 1: connect with each guest, and I have to say that 6 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: I'm extremely proud of this one and the message that 7 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,560 Speaker 1: it's putting out there to women to find their true selves, 8 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:23,439 Speaker 1: to heal from old wounds, and to own their unique 9 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: desires and beauty and emerging Woman, as Morgan explains, it 10 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: is a woman who owns herself and her desires for 11 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: freedom and wholeness in sex, life and love. Morgan's work 12 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,479 Speaker 1: is a lot around healing, whether it's healing from sexual 13 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,920 Speaker 1: trauma or healing from betraying yourself over and over until 14 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: you no longer know your own voice. It's about finding 15 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,159 Speaker 1: your own connection to self and a higher power and 16 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,400 Speaker 1: using that to grow the love, the passion, the desires 17 00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:52,640 Speaker 1: within all of your relationships. We talked a lot about 18 00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 1: finding your own sexual mold as a woman and what 19 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: that can even look like spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I 20 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,360 Speaker 1: personally really resonate with all of the work she is 21 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: doing and I hope that you guys do too. Here's 22 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,720 Speaker 1: our conversation. Okay, So I did want to talk to 23 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:09,800 Speaker 1: you a little bit about how you have been just 24 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,120 Speaker 1: taking care of yourself and within this isolation period, and 25 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:16,679 Speaker 1: also suggestions you may have for any women listening who 26 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 1: really identify with what you're talking about. But I feel 27 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,760 Speaker 1: like we just need to get to know you first, um, 28 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: and so I wanted to talk through You are starting 29 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,479 Speaker 1: an entire movement towards what you call an emerging woman. 30 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: So can you tell us what is an emerging woman? Well, 31 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: there really is this new kind of woman who is emerging, 32 00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:40,440 Speaker 1: and she is a woman who owns herself first and foremost. 33 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:45,360 Speaker 1: She owns her desires, her design for freedom and wholeness 34 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 1: specifically around sex and life and love and God. And 35 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: she's a woman who doesn't fit into any of the 36 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: classic boxes, like she really doesn't resonate with the old label, 37 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:04,440 Speaker 1: and she's reclaiming her sexuality and her spirituality for herself 38 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 1: who she knows that they really do belong to her 39 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,280 Speaker 1: before anyone else. And so I would say the emerging 40 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: woman is the one who feels the call to own 41 00:02:14,680 --> 00:02:17,000 Speaker 1: every part of who she is. To do the work, 42 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:22,560 Speaker 1: the shadow work of owning her darkness as well in 43 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:26,560 Speaker 1: service to the light, Like that's where we're headed, service 44 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:30,240 Speaker 1: to the light, expanding her capacity to love and be 45 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:34,840 Speaker 1: loved and to awaken to these new depths, these new 46 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:39,760 Speaker 1: depths of her own soul, reimagining life with God. You know, 47 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,880 Speaker 1: it's the full spectrum, Kelly. So do you find because 48 00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 1: you work with a lot of women who come to 49 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: you and they're in search of this emerging woman like 50 00:02:51,200 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 1: you've just said, do you find that it's more difficult 51 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,600 Speaker 1: for women in our society to attached to that or 52 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: are we just so program en in our in our 53 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:06,000 Speaker 1: lives and our childhoods to not think that way. Yeah. 54 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: I think there's a lot of conditioning that makes it 55 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,640 Speaker 1: challenging for a woman to own her desires and to 56 00:03:13,680 --> 00:03:17,000 Speaker 1: own all of who she is, and to really to 57 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: really feel that she's connected to her still expression, that 58 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:25,280 Speaker 1: there's room to express, to be self expressed, to be 59 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 1: fulfilled at that level of self expression that comes through 60 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:32,360 Speaker 1: our sexuality. Because a lot of women don't realize that 61 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,760 Speaker 1: this power within them, their sexuality, is so connected to 62 00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: their creativity and the gifts that they've been given, and 63 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 1: when we feel afraid of our our body are the 64 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 1: level of attractiveness, whether it's too much or not enough. 65 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:51,560 Speaker 1: You know, we feel afraid to be seen and we 66 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,840 Speaker 1: are limiting ourselves in the way that we show up 67 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:58,240 Speaker 1: in the world. And so there's a lot of de 68 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 1: hypnotizing to do. Actually, we've been hypnotized to this one 69 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: way of being a woman. A woman looks like this, 70 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 1: she should look like that, she should say these things, 71 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:10,520 Speaker 1: she should be doing these things. There's a lot of 72 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:15,000 Speaker 1: ships attached to womanhood in our culture, and so it's 73 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:21,040 Speaker 1: a process and inner work, a digging deep and reawakening too. 74 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:25,320 Speaker 1: It's not about the ships, it's about the desire. This 75 00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: is where I feel it's so important for a woman 76 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:31,800 Speaker 1: to connect to. It's the desire that actually leaves her home. 77 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 1: It's the it's what lights her up. And for me, 78 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: it's very connected to a spiritual path. Like we don't 79 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 1: have to separate the two. Sexuality and spirituality aren't as 80 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,320 Speaker 1: far as East is from the west, which is how 81 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:52,560 Speaker 1: Western culture has treated it. Puritanical culture has treated sexuality 82 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:57,920 Speaker 1: like it's something so opposite of spirituality. But really, underneath 83 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:00,679 Speaker 1: the veil, these are two sides of the same coin, 84 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:04,040 Speaker 1: which is a powerful life force within each and every 85 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 1: one of us, and it's important to reclaim it. So, yeah, 86 00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: it's happening. We're beginning to wake up. Well. So I 87 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: would imagine that if you have such a passion for 88 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:18,039 Speaker 1: helping other women develop this emerging woman in them, that 89 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:21,279 Speaker 1: you yourself went through a similar journey, can you tell 90 00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: us kind of just like your backstory and why this 91 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:29,360 Speaker 1: became such a passion of yours. Yeah. So I had 92 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: the experience like a lot a lot of creative women, 93 00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:37,279 Speaker 1: a lot of really passionate women have where there was, 94 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,560 Speaker 1: in one sense in their childhood there was a lot 95 00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: of beauty and connection and maybe even closeness to God, 96 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 1: like an intimate mystical experience where they felt close to nature. 97 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 1: I felt really close to the nature. I felt really 98 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:57,599 Speaker 1: close to uh, the imaginal realms. Like just there is 99 00:05:57,640 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: so much goodness and beauty and truth in my experience 100 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: as a little girl when I was alone. But then 101 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 1: the total opposite experience when I tried to show up 102 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 1: even in my family circles or extended family circles or school, 103 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: where I felt that the fullness of who I was 104 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: didn't belong. I felt very much like an outcast, like 105 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:23,960 Speaker 1: there was something about me that disqualified me. I was 106 00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 1: like I was trying to be human, but it didn't 107 00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:28,200 Speaker 1: quite I don't really knew how to be human with 108 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:32,560 Speaker 1: the other humans. I felt way more connected to this intimate, 109 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:37,839 Speaker 1: sacred world. And you know, I desperately wanted to belong 110 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,440 Speaker 1: as a kid, but I grew up in a family 111 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,479 Speaker 1: where there was depression and anxiety, and so the fullness 112 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 1: of who I was as a little girl there wasn't 113 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:52,480 Speaker 1: room for her, And so I interpreted that as there 114 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:57,240 Speaker 1: was something wrong with that bigness, that aliveness, that vibrancy, 115 00:06:57,279 --> 00:07:00,000 Speaker 1: and so I learned to hide it, to shut it down, 116 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,960 Speaker 1: to bury it. And and then I learned to express 117 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:09,279 Speaker 1: my sexuality through the lens of a male perspective on sexuality, 118 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 1: how to play the part, how to look hot all 119 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 1: for the male gaze. I didn't. It was like there 120 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,880 Speaker 1: was a lens over my life that I saw my 121 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 1: value and work through a patriarchal lens, and my value 122 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,160 Speaker 1: as a woman was measured and how attractive or how 123 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,840 Speaker 1: valued and desirable I was to a man. And that's 124 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 1: the way I lived my life, and of course, that 125 00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 1: had a fair share of consequences in terms of sexual trauma, relationships, 126 00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:48,640 Speaker 1: and even spiritual trauma. Not trusting myself, dismissing myself, betraying 127 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:53,920 Speaker 1: myself in order to somehow when approval or belonging with 128 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:58,680 Speaker 1: quote unquote them like the outside world, the you know, 129 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 1: even boyfriends or social circles or family. And so it 130 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 1: was my own journey of healing first from depression over 131 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:15,280 Speaker 1: a decade of clinical depression and anxiety and you know, 132 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 1: being on some form of antidepressant from the time I 133 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 1: was fifteen to the time I was twenty six, and 134 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 1: learning that there were ways I could be there for myself. 135 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 1: I could actually care for myself, learn how to love 136 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: and appreciate and protect and honor all these different parts 137 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 1: of who I am. And that was a first that 138 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 1: began as a journey of mental wellness and well being. 139 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 1: And then when I had a certain level of inner strength, 140 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: I was able to then do the work of sexual 141 00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:58,000 Speaker 1: reclaiming the trauma that I experienced through rapes, and I 142 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,720 Speaker 1: did the work to feel safe in my own body 143 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: and and also to reclaim my authority as a spiritual being, 144 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: like to to feel like I could trust myself and 145 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,920 Speaker 1: my relationship with God, even though it was unique and 146 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: didn't look like other people's relationship with God. And so 147 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: it became also connected. Like there was all these different 148 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:27,559 Speaker 1: threads sexuality, relationships, spirituality, even career, and how I was 149 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:31,559 Speaker 1: showing up and creating a life for myself, providing through myself. 150 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:35,640 Speaker 1: All of those threads came down to it's safe to thrive, 151 00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: It's safe to trust who I am. It's safe to 152 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,480 Speaker 1: trust but lights me up. It's safe to actually have 153 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 1: this infamous relationship with my own soul and to create 154 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,280 Speaker 1: the conditions where I can bring the fullness of who 155 00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 1: I am out into the world. You say on your website, 156 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: you say the emerging woman does not fit into a box. 157 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,599 Speaker 1: Labels resonate with her less and less. She has reclaiming 158 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 1: her sexuality and her spirituality for herself because she knows 159 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: they belonged to her before anyone else where. Do we 160 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 1: get the idea that we need to give that away 161 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:18,920 Speaker 1: to claim it? Yeah, it's we get that idea from 162 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,800 Speaker 1: I don't want to point to fingers, just from our 163 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: religious culture. We get that idea from centuries, from thousands 164 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:30,360 Speaker 1: of years of women not even being full citizens, like 165 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:33,920 Speaker 1: we were property not too long ago. We were literally 166 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:37,200 Speaker 1: we belonged, We literally legally belonged to someone else. And 167 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 1: so in the spectrum of our history on this planet, 168 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,240 Speaker 1: the amount of time between from when when women were 169 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:49,560 Speaker 1: property to when women can vote even or even take 170 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:52,439 Speaker 1: out their own business loan, that wasn't until the nineteen eighties. 171 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: Can you believe it or not? No, I did not 172 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:57,600 Speaker 1: know that. Actually, wow, yeah, they had to have a 173 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,840 Speaker 1: co signer out of business land. Oh my gosh, wow, 174 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:11,959 Speaker 1: someone else. Right. So when you talk about um, you 175 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:15,280 Speaker 1: mentioned the betray you betrayed yourself in order to belong 176 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:17,319 Speaker 1: and you talk a lot about that on your Instagram 177 00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:21,439 Speaker 1: as well. I really resonated with that. I think it's like, 178 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,839 Speaker 1: in some ways, I don't even know that I fully 179 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,960 Speaker 1: understood that I was betraying myself in order to belong, 180 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 1: but in order to make someone else feel comfortable or 181 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:39,160 Speaker 1: to maintain certain relationships. I believe that as a younger woman, 182 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,640 Speaker 1: I did that and it wasn't until you know, in 183 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,720 Speaker 1: most cases, what would end up happening to me in 184 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 1: those relationships is I would end up being betrayed. And 185 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 1: it kind of goes into that whole thing for me. 186 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 1: Of we teach people how to treat us, you know, 187 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 1: so if you're betraying yourself, it becomes pretty easy probably 188 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 1: for someone else to betray you as well. So what 189 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:05,119 Speaker 1: what ways do you see women betraying themselves like consistently 190 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:07,800 Speaker 1: when you're dealing with women, What are you recognizing over 191 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:12,800 Speaker 1: and over and over again. Well, I'll share with you 192 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:16,200 Speaker 1: just one story from my own life, you know, in 193 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,520 Speaker 1: high school that really marked a lot for me, Like 194 00:12:19,559 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 1: that is when this whole pattern of self betray like 195 00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:27,680 Speaker 1: really really I could see it so clearly looking back, 196 00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 1: and and then I'll share with you what I'm seeing 197 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 1: in my clients today because it's it can seem harmless 198 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 1: or right. That's what I think is so scary about 199 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:41,720 Speaker 1: it is because it's I don't even know that many 200 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 1: of us recognize it until That's what I was saying about. 201 00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:48,440 Speaker 1: Until I was betrayed, I didn't even realize what I 202 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 1: had done or betraying myself, or that I was betraying myself. Yeah, 203 00:12:53,679 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 1: So for me, it was I believe it was freshman 204 00:12:57,120 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: year and at the high school that I grew up 205 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 1: and I grew up in a wealthy suburban town and 206 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,439 Speaker 1: the coolest thing you could be as a cheerleader. And 207 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,400 Speaker 1: that was like, you know, you made it. If you 208 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,080 Speaker 1: made it on the cheerleading squad, you made it. You 209 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:20,439 Speaker 1: were automatically granted access to the popular kids. You're probably 210 00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:23,679 Speaker 1: gonna data football player. Your high school experience was made. 211 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,400 Speaker 1: And the way they did the cheerleading tryouts was it 212 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 1: was pretty much a beauty contest, Like the girls all 213 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: got up and did a dance of some sort in 214 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,520 Speaker 1: front of the whole school like an assembly, and then 215 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 1: the school voted. There was a photo, your school photo 216 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 1: and your name and the school voting. So as a 217 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 1: freshman in the year like that was a goal of mine, 218 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,800 Speaker 1: thought it would be fun to be a cheerleader. I 219 00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 1: was a gymnast all growing up. I loved dance and 220 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:53,439 Speaker 1: so being in my body was really fun for me. 221 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,440 Speaker 1: And then there was a dance team, and the dance 222 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 1: team was like full of the nerds. It was like 223 00:13:58,160 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 1: the theater kids, like the really the weirdos, the freaks 224 00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:05,360 Speaker 1: and geeks, and I was trying out for that too, 225 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:10,720 Speaker 1: And the dance team is where I came alive. With 226 00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 1: the freaks and geeks, I was home and I was laughing. 227 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,240 Speaker 1: I had so much fun. I could imagine, like my 228 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 1: whole like high school career, like turning this dance team 229 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: around and making it something respectable and something so like 230 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: we could be good, we could be really great. And 231 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,640 Speaker 1: the teacher said, you know, I would love for you 232 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: to join the dance team and to be a leader 233 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 1: on this team. And it was between the dance team 234 00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 1: and the cheer reading squad, and I was torn, Kellie. 235 00:14:40,760 --> 00:14:44,880 Speaker 1: And then at the end of the day, the the 236 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:50,200 Speaker 1: a lure of being popular, the the pressure to be 237 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:55,120 Speaker 1: light and to be desired by the boys one out 238 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 1: and I chose the path of the cheerleader and became 239 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:04,200 Speaker 1: the the varsity cheerleading captain. And I felt myself die 240 00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 1: in that moment, Like and the rest of my high 241 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:10,680 Speaker 1: school career was very, very different. You know, you talk 242 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,560 Speaker 1: about the betrayal that comes when you begin to betray yourself. 243 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,800 Speaker 1: There was no end to that. All the cattiness and 244 00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,480 Speaker 1: all of these no one knew who they were. We 245 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:19,640 Speaker 1: were all pretending to be someone we thought we needed 246 00:15:19,640 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 1: to be in order to be like. But the theater kids, 247 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:25,040 Speaker 1: the Dan's kids, they had the freedom that I desired 248 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:28,160 Speaker 1: because they were already quote unquote outside of the circle. 249 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 1: They were already outskirts, and so no one expected them 250 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,040 Speaker 1: to look the part or belong and so they could 251 00:15:34,080 --> 00:15:36,720 Speaker 1: be whoever the heck they wanted to be. And I 252 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 1: look back on that and how there is this pressure 253 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: that comes when we really do feel like we need 254 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:49,240 Speaker 1: to fit into a certain box in order to be safe, 255 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:51,960 Speaker 1: in order to be wanted. And when you're on that, 256 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 1: like that line, you're wavering between m I in and 257 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,600 Speaker 1: m I out, and you double down on being in, 258 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:02,040 Speaker 1: and that cost you something. But if you're just already 259 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 1: out so far out no one's even expected, there is 260 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: a world of freedom for you. And so I look 261 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:13,520 Speaker 1: back on that and um, later on in my growing up, 262 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:17,800 Speaker 1: I studied abroad in Italy, and as anyone knows who 263 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,000 Speaker 1: have studied abroad in her probably like you're never going 264 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:23,120 Speaker 1: to fully belong in those cultures, so you get to 265 00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 1: be the crazy American. You get to be like the 266 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 1: one that doesn't sit into the box. And so my 267 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,600 Speaker 1: experience as a crazy American when I was living abroad 268 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:33,480 Speaker 1: was this freedom, like no one expected me to follow 269 00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 1: the rule, no one expected me to look the part. 270 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 1: I really could be whoever I wanted to be, and 271 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 1: there was so much joy in that. And so for women, 272 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:47,640 Speaker 1: there's just such a tight, tight box what we think 273 00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 1: we need to be in order to belong, in order 274 00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:52,560 Speaker 1: to be to be safe, and who we are, and 275 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:55,720 Speaker 1: we don't even we haven't even entertained the question like 276 00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 1: who am I? What really liked me? Up? What do 277 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:00,720 Speaker 1: I want? Like For a lot of them that I coach, 278 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:04,320 Speaker 1: that question paralyzes them, and we do we do a 279 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:08,600 Speaker 1: lot of work together to uncover that authentic desire because 280 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,879 Speaker 1: there's this idea in the headlights, like I know what 281 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: I should want, you know, and I should want a husband, 282 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,680 Speaker 1: I should want kids, I should want a house, I 283 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,800 Speaker 1: should want the career. But there maybe hasn't been a 284 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:25,280 Speaker 1: time to really ask the question what do I want? 285 00:17:25,320 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 1: Because there's also been this level of your pleasure doesn't 286 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 1: really matter your you are here to serve others, your needs, 287 00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:39,400 Speaker 1: your desires aren't as important as your husband's or your 288 00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:42,159 Speaker 1: you know, your kids. And so there's just been a 289 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,960 Speaker 1: pattern in our culture, in our history that to defer, 290 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,360 Speaker 1: to dismiss a woman's desires and show she hasn't had 291 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:54,359 Speaker 1: the practice to even answer that question for herself. So 292 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,920 Speaker 1: the way that I see, yeah, go ahead, I was 293 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,440 Speaker 1: going to say, the way that I see women the 294 00:18:02,560 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: train themselves. On one level, I see this and it's 295 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,359 Speaker 1: like women have convinced themselves that they should want what 296 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:16,119 Speaker 1: society says they should want, and they're white nuhling that 297 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 1: and it isn't working for them, and and so they 298 00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:25,520 Speaker 1: are torn between do I let this go and actually 299 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 1: go on this deeper inner journey of really getting to 300 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,399 Speaker 1: know who I am, what I want, what's going on 301 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:36,520 Speaker 1: in my own soul, or do I just double down 302 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:39,959 Speaker 1: and play this part. So, for example, a woman may 303 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,240 Speaker 1: come to me because her sex life is a mess 304 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 1: within her marriage and that's like really threatening the quality 305 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 1: of connection in her marriage. And so she comes to 306 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:53,440 Speaker 1: me because she wants her husband to be happy or 307 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,760 Speaker 1: she wants the marriage to survive. But the work she 308 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:59,680 Speaker 1: does with me is to actually reclaim herself. And we 309 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:02,640 Speaker 1: do this work too. Okay, I hear that's what you want, 310 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:06,119 Speaker 1: and these are good desires, but I'm only going to 311 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:09,639 Speaker 1: work with you if we can focus on you. And 312 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,879 Speaker 1: and really like this is where it begins, because at 313 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,600 Speaker 1: the end of the day, like when we don't give 314 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:20,680 Speaker 1: ourselves permission to be all that we are. There is 315 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:27,440 Speaker 1: a certain vibration that is not attractive to the world 316 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:31,440 Speaker 1: around us, the freedom for other people to be all 317 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,520 Speaker 1: that they are. And so the thing that we all 318 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 1: really want is to be loved and accepted for. And 319 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,320 Speaker 1: if we can't do that for ourselves, like we're sending 320 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 1: that vibration out to our kids, out to our husband 321 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: and and so the connection is not going to be 322 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: there because on an energetic level, there is this mismatch. 323 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,600 Speaker 1: And so getting clear with our own energy, getting clear 324 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,359 Speaker 1: with our own desires is the first step to creating 325 00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:01,240 Speaker 1: connection and creating the quality of relationships that we want 326 00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 1: to create. In the experience inside sects that the pleasure 327 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:09,520 Speaker 1: that we want and also experiencing the sacredness our relationship 328 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,120 Speaker 1: with God that we desire. So yeah, so I want 329 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 1: to talk more about what you just said about, you know, 330 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:18,520 Speaker 1: our relationship with God and how that does tie into sexuality. 331 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,320 Speaker 1: But I have one more question first, I have so 332 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:25,000 Speaker 1: many questions about this topic. Do you do you see 333 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,040 Speaker 1: because I think this is something I've may be identified 334 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:31,320 Speaker 1: with in my life, but do you see women confusing 335 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:35,760 Speaker 1: sex and love often because what you just said about 336 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,720 Speaker 1: we all want to feel love and accepted, loved and accepted, 337 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,080 Speaker 1: and I personally can say this for me, I think 338 00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:45,919 Speaker 1: I've identified this with a lot of my friends too, 339 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:49,200 Speaker 1: and our conversations, but just maybe it has been a 340 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:52,639 Speaker 1: way of the past and the man's needs in a 341 00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:56,520 Speaker 1: sexual capacity have seemingly been how we've sort of operated 342 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:59,000 Speaker 1: to kind of like what you just said, So like 343 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 1: are we are we confusing sex and love? Like are they? 344 00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,960 Speaker 1: Do you see what I'm saying? Like what is the 345 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,719 Speaker 1: connection there? Yeah, And it comes down to the way 346 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 1: we see ourselves. Are we seeing ourselves clearly or are 347 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:16,200 Speaker 1: we seeing ourselves to the lens of the patriarchy or 348 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,119 Speaker 1: the male gaze? And if we can because this is 349 00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:23,320 Speaker 1: an interesting fact, like sexually speaking, what turns a man 350 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 1: on is a woman's body like that visual stimulus, but 351 00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: when they did a survey in a pool, like what 352 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:34,200 Speaker 1: turns women on is imagining what the man is thinking 353 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,440 Speaker 1: about her. So do you see like like a once 354 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 1: removed experience, Like we're not even allowed to experience our 355 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,560 Speaker 1: own body and our own desire. It's all through the 356 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 1: interpretation of a man. And so yes, and so the 357 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 1: sex and love peace. It's really tied also to a 358 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,520 Speaker 1: woman perceived sexuality and how attractive she feels she is 359 00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,800 Speaker 1: to the male population. You know, this is that we're 360 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:01,520 Speaker 1: talking about Fitsian we're then and this is kind of 361 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,200 Speaker 1: what she was raised to think. This is the baseline 362 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:08,679 Speaker 1: of her worthiness. And um, what love is is somehow 363 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:12,720 Speaker 1: tied to sexual attractiveness. And that is your deserving nous too. 364 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:19,879 Speaker 1: You see how it's it's devastating self worth devastating doesn't 365 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,800 Speaker 1: matter who you give the power to. It could be 366 00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:26,560 Speaker 1: anyone outside yourself is going to be devastating to your 367 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: self worth. And so that's why a big part of 368 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:30,920 Speaker 1: the work that I do, the course that I teach 369 00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,480 Speaker 1: Heal your Own Gaze, is about doing the work to 370 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:38,480 Speaker 1: learn how to see yourself clearly, love yourself fully, because 371 00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,920 Speaker 1: then and only then can you experience the fullness of 372 00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:44,639 Speaker 1: what sex is inside of a relationship or even just 373 00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 1: on your own. Sexuality belongs to you. You can have 374 00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:52,800 Speaker 1: amazing sexual experiences with yourself and to be connected to 375 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,520 Speaker 1: that life force energy and then to actually share that 376 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,240 Speaker 1: with your partner in a way that's really holly in sacred, 377 00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:02,639 Speaker 1: because you're too equals coming together, not one, and so 378 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,160 Speaker 1: in our culture, sex is often like the story of sex. 379 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:09,119 Speaker 1: The narrative sex is very male oriented in that it 380 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 1: is has this peak experience, and it's about penetration and 381 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:18,520 Speaker 1: it's about orgasm. But sexuality isn't just intercourse, and it's 382 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:22,680 Speaker 1: definitely not just about penetration or even about orgasm. Sexuality 383 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:27,600 Speaker 1: is this life force energy, this erotic experienced, the sensual 384 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:31,119 Speaker 1: experience that you can have energetically you won't even have 385 00:23:31,240 --> 00:23:35,640 Speaker 1: to touch anybody. So but we are even our framing 386 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 1: of what sex is is so small, and so part 387 00:23:39,880 --> 00:23:41,560 Speaker 1: of the work I get to do for women, which 388 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:45,520 Speaker 1: I love, is just helping them reimagine that story and 389 00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,280 Speaker 1: helping them see how expansive it can be and to 390 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:52,560 Speaker 1: explore that, to explore sexuality from a totally different angle 391 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:57,560 Speaker 1: outside the way the story has been told. That is 392 00:23:57,640 --> 00:24:02,320 Speaker 1: so interesting, because I'm just curious how you've seen women's 393 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:06,719 Speaker 1: sexual experiences change based on the shift in their mindsets. 394 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:12,760 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, so much. So much shift happened when 395 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:15,240 Speaker 1: a woman can actually feel her own body and it's 396 00:24:15,280 --> 00:24:17,920 Speaker 1: safe for her to be in her own body, and 397 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:19,680 Speaker 1: for a lot of women, that's part of the work 398 00:24:20,359 --> 00:24:22,560 Speaker 1: is learning that it's safe to stay in her body 399 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 1: when she is with a partner that she trusts, or 400 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,600 Speaker 1: even before she finds the partners she trust that when 401 00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:33,760 Speaker 1: she is experienceding a safe self pleasuring and it's safe 402 00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:37,160 Speaker 1: for her to be present for that experience in her body, 403 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,679 Speaker 1: she doesn't have to escape, she doesn't have to fly 404 00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:44,840 Speaker 1: away into you know, to leave her body. And so 405 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:48,600 Speaker 1: that is a big reclaiming of the embodied part of 406 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:52,160 Speaker 1: a woman's experience on this planet, the fullness of who 407 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,560 Speaker 1: she is. Because a lot of women they go somewhere 408 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,440 Speaker 1: in their mind when they're having sex, whether it's masturvation 409 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:00,680 Speaker 1: or sex with their partner, they're not present for it. 410 00:25:01,560 --> 00:25:06,600 Speaker 1: And so so when she learns that it's safe that this, 411 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:10,560 Speaker 1: this amazing gift belongs to her, she's present for it, 412 00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 1: and she can awaken into the sensuality, into the way 413 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 1: that pleasure can be experienced all throughout her body, and 414 00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:21,320 Speaker 1: then she can share that if she's in a relationship 415 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:24,080 Speaker 1: that she's choosing to share this with her partner, it 416 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 1: becomes so much richer and the experience like for the 417 00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:34,240 Speaker 1: two becomes so much more. It's just because there's actually 418 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:40,400 Speaker 1: aliveness happening instead of this mannequin. It's playing pretend. It's 419 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:43,800 Speaker 1: you know, you know, when you're looking at someone in 420 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:45,560 Speaker 1: their eyes and you can tell if they're they're or not, 421 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,600 Speaker 1: you know there, you know, you feel it. There's an 422 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:52,119 Speaker 1: energetic quality to someone's presence. And so a lot of 423 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,560 Speaker 1: women have been having sex and they're just not there, 424 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 1: and their partners don't know the difference because they're not communicating. 425 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 1: They're afraid to actually share with their partner or that 426 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 1: it's either not pleasurable, maybe it's even painful, or it's 427 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,040 Speaker 1: just not turning them on. It's going too quickly, and 428 00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:08,960 Speaker 1: they're not there yet, they're not around yet. And so 429 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:13,720 Speaker 1: learning how to value yourself enough and your experience enough 430 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:18,600 Speaker 1: that your pleasure matters too is a part of this process. 431 00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,280 Speaker 1: And so you can communicate from a place of worthiness, 432 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,719 Speaker 1: communicate not from nagging or not from blaming or it's 433 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,639 Speaker 1: not the man's fault, you're not you don't need to 434 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:31,800 Speaker 1: point me fingers. But you're creating this new dynamic from 435 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,840 Speaker 1: this place because you know who you are, you know 436 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,280 Speaker 1: what you were. And now all of a sudden, she 437 00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:40,879 Speaker 1: gets togets, she gets forgets of experiencing you of you 438 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 1: your energy. Well, it's so interesting because that I think 439 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 1: those conversations or even just you know, approaching that topic 440 00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:53,560 Speaker 1: can be very intimidating to a lot of us because 441 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 1: and this kind of ties back into the sexuality and 442 00:26:56,320 --> 00:26:59,200 Speaker 1: spirituality thing. But especially if you grew up in a 443 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:02,679 Speaker 1: religious home or household, I think we were taught from 444 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:06,320 Speaker 1: such a young age like there's certain restrictions around sex, 445 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:09,680 Speaker 1: and you know sex is for marriage, so there's just 446 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,600 Speaker 1: all these boundaries around it, or like masturbation is bad 447 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:16,239 Speaker 1: and all of these things that um kind of make 448 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:19,520 Speaker 1: it very taboo to feel like you could explore the 449 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:22,560 Speaker 1: openness that you're talking about. So can you kind of 450 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:26,040 Speaker 1: talk through how sexuality? Well? Okay, two questions? This is 451 00:27:26,119 --> 00:27:30,040 Speaker 1: two part questions. First, how how do we get past 452 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 1: some kind of programming like that? And then too, how 453 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:40,240 Speaker 1: does sexuality and spirituality tie into the emerging woman mindset? 454 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 1: So number one, how do we get past the programming? Yeah, 455 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:51,479 Speaker 1: it's work, This is the inner work, and you can 456 00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:53,639 Speaker 1: do it alone or you can do it with the guide. 457 00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:57,600 Speaker 1: I always recommend having someone to hold space for you, 458 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:00,080 Speaker 1: to support you through this, someone who has walked the 459 00:28:00,160 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 1: path that's a little further than you are, who can 460 00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:07,440 Speaker 1: encourage you, who can help you feel not alone when 461 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:09,880 Speaker 1: you hit the obstacles. Because here's the work for any 462 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:14,720 Speaker 1: deep programming reprogramming. First and four moost you have to 463 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 1: activate the pain. You have to feel it again. So 464 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,399 Speaker 1: that trigger needs to be alive in the body in 465 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:24,920 Speaker 1: the present tense. It's there in a dormant stage where 466 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,600 Speaker 1: seen a lot of anxiety that you point to this 467 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,720 Speaker 1: or that, but it's not really this or that. It's 468 00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:34,400 Speaker 1: actually what's it's deeper, deeper down. And so number one, 469 00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:38,120 Speaker 1: you need to be safe enough, to be able to 470 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 1: feel safe enough that you can hold space or you 471 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 1: have someone holding space for you, so you can experience 472 00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,960 Speaker 1: the trauma again like the trigger at least in your body. 473 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 1: And then you interrupt that loop. And this is about neuroscience, 474 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 1: this is how we reprogram and we need to interrupt 475 00:28:57,800 --> 00:29:01,320 Speaker 1: the pattern because right now there's so many attachments, there's 476 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:05,000 Speaker 1: so many like threads into what sexuality is, into relationship, 477 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:08,200 Speaker 1: into our worthiness as women, that any one of those 478 00:29:08,280 --> 00:29:11,120 Speaker 1: threads could tie back to an early trauma. And then 479 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,000 Speaker 1: the more you repeat that memory or that triggers that 480 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:17,280 Speaker 1: it just strengthens that pathway in the brain, and so 481 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,160 Speaker 1: to feel it again and then interrupt it and then 482 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,640 Speaker 1: do some technique that helps to neutralize the fight or 483 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,080 Speaker 1: flight so you can go into the rest that you 484 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:31,360 Speaker 1: are safe. And so a good trauma therapist or a coach, 485 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:34,920 Speaker 1: someone like me, or someone that you feel is very 486 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:40,080 Speaker 1: much trained in this can help you encounters that trauma 487 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:43,440 Speaker 1: that trigger and then to feel safe in the present 488 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,120 Speaker 1: tense because the truth is you are safe right now, 489 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,480 Speaker 1: and there's so many techniques to help neutralize that fight 490 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 1: or flight back into the sense of safety out, sense 491 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 1: of safety and security in your own body. And then 492 00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:59,160 Speaker 1: from that neutral state, then you can imagine a new thing. 493 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:01,880 Speaker 1: You can start to play with how you really want 494 00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:05,080 Speaker 1: to feel instead. And so, for instance, when I'm working 495 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:08,040 Speaker 1: with a woman and right now she's let's say she's married. 496 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,560 Speaker 1: She loves her man. He's a very good man, she 497 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,480 Speaker 1: trust him, and yet she doesn't understand that when he 498 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:18,400 Speaker 1: initiates X, she shuts down every part of her phrases. 499 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,040 Speaker 1: And though she wants to will it to be like 500 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,000 Speaker 1: she wants to will her desire, it just is it's there. 501 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,960 Speaker 1: And so what happened in her relationship is that, you know, 502 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,400 Speaker 1: if she gets her the point enough where she's had enough, 503 00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:34,000 Speaker 1: like she'll explode its rage. Before that, she's just going 504 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:37,520 Speaker 1: through the motions and completely checking out. He doesn't know 505 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,760 Speaker 1: she's numb. She moves past that to the place of rage. 506 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:45,400 Speaker 1: And then after numbness and phrasing, after rage, then comes 507 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:49,720 Speaker 1: integration and calibration, and so you can then begin to 508 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,200 Speaker 1: to self manage your own experience and so that you're 509 00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 1: not needing to disconnect from what's happening, and you're not 510 00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,600 Speaker 1: needing to cast blame on anyone else, but you're able 511 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:03,240 Speaker 1: to hold yourself through it. And I train a woman 512 00:31:03,320 --> 00:31:06,880 Speaker 1: how to do this, and so we can talk about, Okay, 513 00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,800 Speaker 1: if you weren't frozen, how would you want to feel instead? 514 00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:12,840 Speaker 1: And she may say I want to feel safe, I 515 00:31:12,960 --> 00:31:15,800 Speaker 1: want to feel warm. And then I'll ask her, Okay, 516 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,360 Speaker 1: when you are feeling safe and you're feeling warm, what 517 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:24,280 Speaker 1: else becomes possible? And she might say freedom, Like I 518 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:27,640 Speaker 1: feel I can actually connect, and so we'll do we'll 519 00:31:27,680 --> 00:31:31,920 Speaker 1: do this work together. And it's really about repetition. But 520 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,760 Speaker 1: this is the basic pattern. This is the nitty gritty 521 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:37,240 Speaker 1: of you know, how we reprogram our brain, Kelly, is 522 00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:40,640 Speaker 1: that we we activate the trigger, we neutralize the trigger, 523 00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:44,440 Speaker 1: and then we imagine a new possibility and we reinforce 524 00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:47,560 Speaker 1: the good. We reinforce how we want to feel, and 525 00:31:47,680 --> 00:31:50,040 Speaker 1: we may need to do that again and again and 526 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 1: again until our brain actually switches over to the new 527 00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: pathway because they're finding Lucy's. We actually don't get rid 528 00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:59,080 Speaker 1: of the old pathways. There's they've been there since childhood 529 00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,720 Speaker 1: a lot of times, like some of the shutdown patterns 530 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,560 Speaker 1: that women experience. But what we can do and what 531 00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:09,560 Speaker 1: we can control is strengthening the new pathways. So it 532 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 1: is about learning how to to really be with the 533 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,320 Speaker 1: trauma and all of us, whether it's big T trauma, 534 00:32:17,960 --> 00:32:20,920 Speaker 1: an actual event like I experienced rate more than once, 535 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:26,240 Speaker 1: or little T trauma where some experience that we weren't 536 00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:29,480 Speaker 1: safe in our full self expression, you know, whether it 537 00:32:29,640 --> 00:32:32,040 Speaker 1: was we were little and we were just exploring our 538 00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:35,160 Speaker 1: bodies and touching ourselves and then we were shamed for that, 539 00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:38,160 Speaker 1: or you know, we're in high school and we dare 540 00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 1: to like wear something that's really outrageous or fun or 541 00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 1: playful or sexy, and then we were shamed to that. 542 00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:47,240 Speaker 1: So those are also trauma because we got the message 543 00:32:47,280 --> 00:32:49,760 Speaker 1: that it wasn't safe to be fully who we are. 544 00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:56,760 Speaker 1: So we need to actually let it be okay to 545 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:59,680 Speaker 1: experience that again in some form, not to go back 546 00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,680 Speaker 1: there and to stay there, but for the purpose of 547 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:07,080 Speaker 1: allowing the body to complete distress cycle, allowing the body 548 00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,880 Speaker 1: to feel it so it can release it, allowing the 549 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,200 Speaker 1: body to be with the memory but not go into 550 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,960 Speaker 1: fight or flight. So you begin to understand that that 551 00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:19,200 Speaker 1: old trauma isn't running the show anymore, that you have agency, 552 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:22,280 Speaker 1: that you have the capacity to choose a new path. 553 00:33:23,480 --> 00:33:25,720 Speaker 1: That makes sense. It does, It makes total sense. I 554 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,040 Speaker 1: hear so much in what you're saying to just about 555 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:33,120 Speaker 1: this journey being such a big or a huge part 556 00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:35,840 Speaker 1: of this journey just being getting to know yourself and 557 00:33:36,040 --> 00:33:40,680 Speaker 1: actually asking yourself, you know, what do I want? What 558 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:44,440 Speaker 1: what is? Or who am I? Even maybe you know 559 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:47,720 Speaker 1: there's just so much there seems like so much exploration 560 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,760 Speaker 1: into that part of us. Yes, and that's why my 561 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: heart really is it's so about the woman's soul. I 562 00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,400 Speaker 1: want to give women the tools to equip and courage 563 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 1: women to embody the fullness of their soul, expression, their 564 00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:08,040 Speaker 1: authentic soul expression, and we need to work with sexuality 565 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 1: in order to do that, because that is an area 566 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,239 Speaker 1: that's a big piece of a woman's identity that she 567 00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,800 Speaker 1: has been, you know, cut off from, and so to 568 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:19,480 Speaker 1: reclaim power there is to reclaim power in a lot 569 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,280 Speaker 1: of other places. It's for me, it's not about sex, 570 00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:24,880 Speaker 1: you know, Like I have sex, and I'm so grateful 571 00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:27,800 Speaker 1: for sex. But I'm not a sex therapist who this 572 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:30,880 Speaker 1: is about sex. I am the one who's like, I 573 00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,719 Speaker 1: want every single human being on this planet to feel 574 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 1: safe in their full self expression, their soulful self expression, 575 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:42,239 Speaker 1: and cares the means to do that. We need to 576 00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:46,680 Speaker 1: make it safe again to reclaim all these aspects of 577 00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:50,440 Speaker 1: who we are that have been dismissed or discouraged or 578 00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:55,160 Speaker 1: shamed or condemned. So is that how it kind of 579 00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:59,760 Speaker 1: ties into spirituality or your relationship with God or higher power? 580 00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:05,080 Speaker 1: Are anything of your understanding? Yes, because I believe that 581 00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:08,400 Speaker 1: at the heart of it, our sexuality is connected to 582 00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:12,600 Speaker 1: our deepest desires, and our spirituality is connected to our 583 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,520 Speaker 1: highest values, and so I have a particular religious path. 584 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 1: I love Jesus. Right now as we're talking, Kelly, I'm 585 00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 1: staring at my Jesus candle and my Mary candle, and 586 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:27,279 Speaker 1: this is my path. But spirituality is broader than any 587 00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,120 Speaker 1: one particular religious path. And so how I help my 588 00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 1: clients understand what it is Because if it's been so 589 00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,360 Speaker 1: ameshed with a certain religion, it's hard to understand what 590 00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:39,600 Speaker 1: spirituality is. And so I think one of the simplest 591 00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:43,960 Speaker 1: ways to reclaim our spirituality is to start identifying what 592 00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:49,320 Speaker 1: are our highest values? Is it equality? Is it beauty? 593 00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:54,440 Speaker 1: Is it justice? Is it love? You know? And when 594 00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,960 Speaker 1: we can start naming and claiming our highest values, suddenly 595 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:02,080 Speaker 1: we're connected. Doesn't take work, it doesn't take like we 596 00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,960 Speaker 1: don't have to make things complicated. But if we simply 597 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 1: made it our goal to embody our highest values, we 598 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,839 Speaker 1: will feel more connected to that which is higher than us, 599 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,719 Speaker 1: that which is greater than us. It's just we don't 600 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:17,960 Speaker 1: have to work for it. You know, It's it's becomes very, 601 00:36:18,080 --> 00:36:21,040 Speaker 1: very natural because part of what separates us from God. 602 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,400 Speaker 1: And you know, whether we call it God or mystery 603 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,000 Speaker 1: of the universe or higher Self or source, is that 604 00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:29,399 Speaker 1: there is this m we're mission integrity, Like we say 605 00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:31,759 Speaker 1: we value these things, and yet we're not showing up 606 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:35,400 Speaker 1: in our bodies claiming or embodying those values, and that 607 00:36:35,800 --> 00:36:38,680 Speaker 1: doesn't feel good. It's like our souls like, come on, 608 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:42,520 Speaker 1: you can do better, you can you and so. But 609 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,920 Speaker 1: it takes a lot of courage to embody your values. 610 00:36:45,719 --> 00:36:48,839 Speaker 1: It takes a lot of courage to be that integral. 611 00:36:50,040 --> 00:36:53,760 Speaker 1: But when we are like, we become channels. The portal 612 00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:58,279 Speaker 1: is open and love for me is that that's it. 613 00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:00,279 Speaker 1: It's at the end of the day, it's about love 614 00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:04,759 Speaker 1: with the capital L and I my value is just 615 00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:08,320 Speaker 1: to be do to work in this lifetime to expand 616 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:12,600 Speaker 1: my capacity to love and be loved. And that's what 617 00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:14,680 Speaker 1: I want to do for my clients as well, and 618 00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,640 Speaker 1: every woman who works with me as a student or 619 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,640 Speaker 1: just follows along on my Instagram. My whole goal is 620 00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:23,120 Speaker 1: to help them expand their capacity to love and be loved, 621 00:37:23,239 --> 00:37:28,200 Speaker 1: because that's it. That's spirituality in a nutshell. Yes, something 622 00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:30,480 Speaker 1: else I read on your website that I absolutely loved 623 00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:34,960 Speaker 1: was the sentence that says, the emerging woman is smart, ambitious, 624 00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,320 Speaker 1: tender and wise and she is ready to thrive. And 625 00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:42,280 Speaker 1: I have started to come to this understanding of women 626 00:37:42,360 --> 00:37:45,279 Speaker 1: because I look at all these powerful women around me, 627 00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,920 Speaker 1: and the ones that I respect the most are not 628 00:37:48,239 --> 00:37:52,000 Speaker 1: necessarily the ones who are just taking over the world 629 00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,799 Speaker 1: in a job, but it's the ones who can incorporate 630 00:37:55,239 --> 00:37:59,239 Speaker 1: both their tender sides, their caring sides, their kindness, their love, 631 00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,800 Speaker 1: and the part of them that is that is, you know, 632 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:07,239 Speaker 1: chasing after their dreams and it's very determined, like it's 633 00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:09,960 Speaker 1: it's both. And I think that is kind of the 634 00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:12,400 Speaker 1: part of women that's so powerful, is we can be 635 00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:16,400 Speaker 1: all of them, you know at the same time. Sometimes, Um, 636 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:20,279 Speaker 1: can you speak to that a little bit? Yeah, this 637 00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:24,640 Speaker 1: is the age of vulnerability, you know. This is especially 638 00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:29,480 Speaker 1: in this time where our systems are crushing the institutions 639 00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:32,160 Speaker 1: that we are and they don't work anymore. And so 640 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:34,640 Speaker 1: one way you can look at it, one way the 641 00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:38,800 Speaker 1: story can be told is that the patriarchal or the 642 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:43,640 Speaker 1: toxic masculinity way of being successful is no longer working. 643 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:46,279 Speaker 1: And so yes, women in the past have like adopted 644 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:50,200 Speaker 1: a man's persona or a man's kind of qualities and 645 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:53,000 Speaker 1: lost some of their softness and vulnerability because that's what 646 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,920 Speaker 1: it took to survive in corporate culture or to get ahead. 647 00:38:57,719 --> 00:39:00,840 Speaker 1: But now we're beginning to see that we need the 648 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:05,200 Speaker 1: wisdom of the feminine. We need we need the the 649 00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,400 Speaker 1: permission to be the full spectrum of a human being. 650 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:13,960 Speaker 1: So everything, the tenderness of vulnerability is the strength. And 651 00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:16,320 Speaker 1: you know, of course, the gospels have been talking about that, 652 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:19,040 Speaker 1: Jesus who have talked about that's in the beginning. And 653 00:39:19,680 --> 00:39:23,080 Speaker 1: it's the willingness to be with and to be so 654 00:39:23,760 --> 00:39:30,400 Speaker 1: authentic in the areas of quote unquote weakness that allows people, 655 00:39:30,680 --> 00:39:35,560 Speaker 1: other human beings too connect with us, to resonate with us, 656 00:39:35,640 --> 00:39:38,120 Speaker 1: and then to also be willing to own your gifts. 657 00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:42,560 Speaker 1: And a lot of times women are terrified to own 658 00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:45,480 Speaker 1: their strengths. And so this is what I help women with. Two. 659 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,200 Speaker 1: It's safe to relate to the world from a place 660 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,800 Speaker 1: of worthiness. I really, I really want women to hear that, 661 00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,960 Speaker 1: because I think, you know, for a lot of women, 662 00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:56,920 Speaker 1: and I was one of them, it was safer to 663 00:39:57,040 --> 00:39:59,880 Speaker 1: relate to the world from a place of vulnerability. I 664 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,000 Speaker 1: didn't threaten anyone when things, you know, when my life 665 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,759 Speaker 1: was a mess, and when I was relating to the 666 00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,480 Speaker 1: world from all the things that I didn't have figured 667 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:11,600 Speaker 1: out and people could pity me, I didn't threaten anyone, 668 00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,480 Speaker 1: and a lot of women are afraid to step into 669 00:40:14,560 --> 00:40:17,759 Speaker 1: their fullness, their and their ambitiousness, their highest dreams because 670 00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,000 Speaker 1: they don't want to threaten anyone. And so that full 671 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:24,640 Speaker 1: spectrum includes like you don't have to have everything figured out, 672 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:28,080 Speaker 1: and what you have learned from your life, experience what 673 00:40:28,239 --> 00:40:31,200 Speaker 1: you are good at, own it, claim it. It's safe 674 00:40:31,320 --> 00:40:33,520 Speaker 1: to relate to the world from the place of worthingers. 675 00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:37,240 Speaker 1: That is amazing. I think so much of this stuff 676 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:39,320 Speaker 1: can be intimidating. And there's another thing you say on 677 00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:41,680 Speaker 1: your website that says, she feels the fear that comes 678 00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:45,360 Speaker 1: with being a trail trailblazer for others, and the emerging 679 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,560 Speaker 1: woman does not turn away, and that that moment of 680 00:40:48,680 --> 00:40:50,600 Speaker 1: just knowing, like this is the path that I'm going 681 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:52,840 Speaker 1: to walk down, and it's not always going to be easy, 682 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:56,719 Speaker 1: but that doesn't mean it's not right. Yes, and this 683 00:40:56,920 --> 00:40:59,120 Speaker 1: is how we can learn from nature because the feminine 684 00:40:59,200 --> 00:41:01,200 Speaker 1: is so connect it to nature and the way that 685 00:41:01,360 --> 00:41:03,879 Speaker 1: nature does its thing. And so if you think about 686 00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,000 Speaker 1: a tree, once it has its roots, the tree is 687 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:11,919 Speaker 1: all about growing towards the light, and even if there's 688 00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:15,040 Speaker 1: an obstacle in its path, let's say it's a big boulder, 689 00:41:15,760 --> 00:41:18,279 Speaker 1: the tree will move around it and grow around it. 690 00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:21,839 Speaker 1: Because the goal is the light, grow towards the light. 691 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:25,360 Speaker 1: And so for women who feel this like awakening with 692 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:28,800 Speaker 1: them within them, yes, there's gonna be fear because we 693 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:32,240 Speaker 1: are the women of the pivot. One of my mentors 694 00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:36,759 Speaker 1: says that it's so powerful. We're trailblazers. We're pioneering a 695 00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:41,840 Speaker 1: new a new way of being woman in our society. 696 00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,840 Speaker 1: And so with that unknown with we don't have a 697 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:49,040 Speaker 1: lot of models, or we don't have the the the women, 698 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:51,319 Speaker 1: A lot of women that have gone before our own 699 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:55,600 Speaker 1: mothers didn't get this opportunity. Yes, we are the front line, 700 00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,840 Speaker 1: and so we're going to feel the feeling. Then that's okay. 701 00:41:59,200 --> 00:42:02,960 Speaker 1: It's like so powerful the field of feelings and we 702 00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:06,480 Speaker 1: keep growing towards the light. Can you talk through some 703 00:42:06,560 --> 00:42:09,560 Speaker 1: of the things that you specifically do with your clients, 704 00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:13,200 Speaker 1: Like what are some of the educational series or challenges 705 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,080 Speaker 1: that you offered to women who might be listening and 706 00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:22,040 Speaker 1: really identifying with wanting to unleash their their emerging woman. Yeah, 707 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:26,279 Speaker 1: I would love to, and this actually connects with how 708 00:42:26,400 --> 00:42:29,040 Speaker 1: we can work through this, like the time of Cornin. Yes, 709 00:42:30,719 --> 00:42:34,000 Speaker 1: the practices that I'm doing daily are the practices that 710 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:37,160 Speaker 1: I teach my one and one clients and some of 711 00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:40,600 Speaker 1: the foundational practices that I returned to again and again 712 00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:44,759 Speaker 1: because they're just so good for creating the conditions for 713 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:48,080 Speaker 1: success inside, Like this is the inner foundation. We have 714 00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:51,560 Speaker 1: to start here really to commit to being the queen 715 00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:56,200 Speaker 1: of self care. Yes, because mind, body, heart, and soul, 716 00:42:56,320 --> 00:43:00,839 Speaker 1: like the spirit, we need to to really take care 717 00:43:00,920 --> 00:43:04,160 Speaker 1: of ourselves on those levels. And so during this time, 718 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:09,960 Speaker 1: Number one, breathwork daily non negotiable for me is because 719 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,239 Speaker 1: breathwork is one of the things that help us take 720 00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:16,200 Speaker 1: out the trash. One of my unture teachers talked about 721 00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:21,120 Speaker 1: for this life force energy for a woman, it's resides 722 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:23,960 Speaker 1: in her cervix, and it's like this power, this energy, 723 00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,759 Speaker 1: this creative for if the intelligence that knows how to 724 00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:30,520 Speaker 1: create a human being in a mother's womb also lives there. 725 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:37,080 Speaker 1: And so the all the trauma childhood, your personal trauma, 726 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:41,960 Speaker 1: the collective trauma, the ancestral trauma usually tends to get 727 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:47,000 Speaker 1: stored in our pelvic bowl, and so it's like a 728 00:43:47,160 --> 00:43:51,040 Speaker 1: trash heat sitting on God. The way my tonure teacher 729 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:56,719 Speaker 1: describes it, which is such a profound image, right, And 730 00:43:56,840 --> 00:43:59,000 Speaker 1: so breathwork is one of those things that helps to 731 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,880 Speaker 1: clean up, to help us take out the trash and 732 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,240 Speaker 1: so that we can become more open, so the energy 733 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,040 Speaker 1: can flow freely, because then we don't feel our feelings. 734 00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:12,479 Speaker 1: They go somewhere, they get buried. And so I teach 735 00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:18,360 Speaker 1: my client's breathwork because it's such a accessible tool for 736 00:44:18,480 --> 00:44:21,960 Speaker 1: every single human being, doesn't cost anything. They can do 737 00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:26,440 Speaker 1: it from wherever they're at, and it's so effective. Breathwork 738 00:44:26,560 --> 00:44:29,600 Speaker 1: has the power to shift your consciousness within twenty minutes 739 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:33,000 Speaker 1: and as a regular especially in times like this where 740 00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:37,480 Speaker 1: there is such a collective anxiety and panic a lot 741 00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,480 Speaker 1: of us are taking on the way to the world. 742 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,600 Speaker 1: And it's not just our emotions we're feeling, but if 743 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:49,120 Speaker 1: we're impact, we're feeling everyone else is feeling. And so, uh, 744 00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:51,759 Speaker 1: breath work is really important. And of course there's many 745 00:44:51,840 --> 00:44:55,080 Speaker 1: different types of breathwork, so that can serve you and 746 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:59,120 Speaker 1: can help you start to shift your own energy and 747 00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:02,000 Speaker 1: a relatively short amount of time. So I'm doing that 748 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:07,080 Speaker 1: every single morning. Um really, I mean, there's so many 749 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:09,800 Speaker 1: resources that could direct you to for breathwork. One of 750 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:13,040 Speaker 1: the fun most popular ones happening right now is whim Hoff. 751 00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:18,640 Speaker 1: I mean, he has a free app and um it's 752 00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,879 Speaker 1: it's great. It's a great way to start, and it's 753 00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:24,520 Speaker 1: always helpful to have someone kind of holding space or 754 00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:29,440 Speaker 1: guiding you, even if it's a recorded recorded meditation. Is 755 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:33,280 Speaker 1: he the one that gets in the ice bats? Ye? Okay, 756 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:38,719 Speaker 1: I know about this guy. Yes, okay, wif and um. 757 00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,920 Speaker 1: I also on my I v TV, I have a 758 00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:47,959 Speaker 1: five minute anti anxiety guided breathwork practice, you know, yeah, 759 00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:51,200 Speaker 1: and so, and there's so much great resources out there. 760 00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:56,439 Speaker 1: So just making it maybe a commitment to some form 761 00:45:56,520 --> 00:46:00,839 Speaker 1: the breathwork daily. And then then next thing I'm doing 762 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:05,560 Speaker 1: every single day is self touched and because right now 763 00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:09,399 Speaker 1: especially we can't touch each other right hands off, hands off, 764 00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:12,000 Speaker 1: but our body needs touch. This is one of the 765 00:46:12,040 --> 00:46:15,520 Speaker 1: ways our nervous system knows that it's safe. A lot 766 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:19,640 Speaker 1: of this communicated through touch, and so you know, after 767 00:46:19,800 --> 00:46:22,920 Speaker 1: your shower, when you're nice and clean. Just making it 768 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:27,520 Speaker 1: a practice, whether it's breast massage, taking some essential oils 769 00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:31,640 Speaker 1: or oils, and just lovingly connecting to your own body. 770 00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,839 Speaker 1: I teach women how to do this tender self touch 771 00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:38,160 Speaker 1: to reclaim parts of their body that they feel are unlovable, 772 00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:43,400 Speaker 1: whether it's their stomach, their thighs, their ask, whatever it is, 773 00:46:43,640 --> 00:46:47,040 Speaker 1: like their face. You know, a way to reclaim through touch, 774 00:46:47,160 --> 00:46:51,480 Speaker 1: because before we had words, we had touch, and it's 775 00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:54,160 Speaker 1: one of the simplest ways to communicate to the primal 776 00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:57,000 Speaker 1: body that it actually is staked and that you actually 777 00:46:57,160 --> 00:47:01,040 Speaker 1: are lovable, that you're deserving a kind doer nurse. And 778 00:47:01,200 --> 00:47:06,040 Speaker 1: so in a time of this where we're experiencing more loneliness, 779 00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:10,560 Speaker 1: that self tenders self touched practice is really important to 780 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:15,560 Speaker 1: be giving ourselves that oxytotion. Yes, it's so good. And 781 00:47:15,680 --> 00:47:21,080 Speaker 1: then another practice daily right now is some form of whimsy, 782 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:25,640 Speaker 1: some form of playfulness. I love when you just said that, 783 00:47:25,719 --> 00:47:30,160 Speaker 1: I smiled. It sounds so fun. Yes, it is fun, 784 00:47:30,280 --> 00:47:32,719 Speaker 1: and it can be as simple as dawning a purple wig, 785 00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:35,600 Speaker 1: which is what I've been doing daily. Just loves it 786 00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:40,080 Speaker 1: so much. But it's it's can you give me some 787 00:47:40,160 --> 00:47:45,920 Speaker 1: of my AirPod just lost their batteries. We can hear you, great, Okay, 788 00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:49,240 Speaker 1: So it is just that you know, whether it's putting 789 00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:53,480 Speaker 1: gems on your those like adorning stickers, you can get 790 00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:56,920 Speaker 1: on Amazon where it's putting on a wig or it's 791 00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:59,760 Speaker 1: plain jackets with your closet, Like this is the time 792 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:03,239 Speaker 1: it kind of tap into some of these forms of 793 00:48:03,280 --> 00:48:05,960 Speaker 1: self expression. You don't get a camp too when you 794 00:48:06,040 --> 00:48:07,880 Speaker 1: have to go outside and you're completely safe in your 795 00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,360 Speaker 1: own home. It's the perfect place to be a little weird, 796 00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:16,040 Speaker 1: to wear funky clothes and to you know, blow bubbles 797 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:19,640 Speaker 1: or you know, just making it whimsical. It's so much 798 00:48:19,719 --> 00:48:23,240 Speaker 1: beauty in that. There's so much childlikeness that we need again, 799 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,560 Speaker 1: especially in times like this where it's so serious and 800 00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:31,520 Speaker 1: it yeah, so the whimsy pieces. I recommending it daily 801 00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:35,879 Speaker 1: to all my clients daily myself and then tying into 802 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:40,640 Speaker 1: that is tapping into the imaginal realm. And this connects 803 00:48:40,719 --> 00:48:45,080 Speaker 1: to our spirituality, because the imaginal realm that's like holy imagination. 804 00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:49,239 Speaker 1: This consciousness is high level consciousness to imagine a new 805 00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:54,320 Speaker 1: and even more beautiful future. I believe that's creative. I 806 00:48:54,480 --> 00:49:00,920 Speaker 1: believe that contributes something to the world. IFO spending time 807 00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:05,760 Speaker 1: in medication, allowing yourself to imagine the most beautiful outcomes, 808 00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:08,960 Speaker 1: the most this is a form of prayer. This is 809 00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:13,760 Speaker 1: a form of This is the form of meditation, prayer. 810 00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,959 Speaker 1: It's so important to tap into the imaginal realm because 811 00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:20,640 Speaker 1: it's also a way of knowing. And in this time 812 00:49:20,800 --> 00:49:23,879 Speaker 1: where we are being given the chance to slow down, 813 00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:28,160 Speaker 1: we have this opportunity to tap into the imaginal in 814 00:49:28,200 --> 00:49:30,640 Speaker 1: a way we just don't when we are rushing from 815 00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:34,040 Speaker 1: here to there, when we're in our busy, busy, busy 816 00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:37,720 Speaker 1: must get it done mindset, we miss out on what's 817 00:49:37,840 --> 00:49:43,640 Speaker 1: underneath the surface, the sacredness, the the real like quality 818 00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:47,800 Speaker 1: of the spiritual. So one way we can do that 819 00:49:47,920 --> 00:49:52,040 Speaker 1: to actually tap into the sacredness in the every day 820 00:49:52,920 --> 00:49:57,560 Speaker 1: is through a practice of divine ordinariness by choosing one 821 00:49:58,200 --> 00:50:01,040 Speaker 1: task that's like an ordinary ta whether it's making your 822 00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:04,359 Speaker 1: bed or doing the dishes or putting your kids to bed. 823 00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:07,520 Speaker 1: Choosing one thing and deciding to see it as your 824 00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:12,000 Speaker 1: spiritual practice, so bringing so much love and attention and 825 00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,319 Speaker 1: creating the significance by the way that you show up 826 00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:20,600 Speaker 1: in that everyday task, like, for instance, when you're washing 827 00:50:20,640 --> 00:50:23,840 Speaker 1: the dishes, like making the water temperature just how you 828 00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,080 Speaker 1: like it so it feels really good on your hand, 829 00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:29,120 Speaker 1: and then washing the dishes as if it was like 830 00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:32,799 Speaker 1: a baby don't work. But the Baby Jesus is how 831 00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:35,560 Speaker 1: it was taught to me. The practice of imagine this, 832 00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:40,239 Speaker 1: this has pulled everything of the sacred this and you 833 00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:43,320 Speaker 1: get a chance to be connected with it. And so 834 00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:45,919 Speaker 1: instead of just being like mindless in our activities, they're 835 00:50:45,920 --> 00:50:49,000 Speaker 1: resentful of the things we have to do every single day, 836 00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:53,680 Speaker 1: like it's an opportunity to actually experience God and the sacred. 837 00:50:54,400 --> 00:50:56,439 Speaker 1: I think that is such a huge part of kind 838 00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,160 Speaker 1: of what's happening right now. It almost feels like this 839 00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:01,759 Speaker 1: hard reas at our whole world is having to do 840 00:51:01,920 --> 00:51:04,520 Speaker 1: because we've been going, going, going, going, going, and then 841 00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:06,920 Speaker 1: all of a sudden we just can't. And so then 842 00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:09,960 Speaker 1: you start to notice the small things, the simple pleasures. 843 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:12,799 Speaker 1: Even like you're saying this experience with the dishes, it's 844 00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:16,520 Speaker 1: just like, take these times and enjoy what is right 845 00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:20,520 Speaker 1: in front of you that you just may never notice. Yes, absolutely, 846 00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,760 Speaker 1: And then I would say, another thing that's so important 847 00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:28,200 Speaker 1: to do daily is to do the work of healing 848 00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:31,960 Speaker 1: our own days. There's not a woman out there but 849 00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:35,120 Speaker 1: I've met that sees herself clearly right when they get go. 850 00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:37,640 Speaker 1: Most of us have a lot of inner work to 851 00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:46,440 Speaker 1: do around getting a lot of feedback. I can't. I 852 00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:52,440 Speaker 1: don't know what is the difference is I haven't moved. Huh? 853 00:51:54,200 --> 00:51:57,600 Speaker 1: Is it the cord? Yeah, my cord is being funny. 854 00:51:57,880 --> 00:52:02,879 Speaker 1: That's a little bit better. Um, better, Okay, yeah, I'll 855 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:08,120 Speaker 1: start that again. Okay, it's perfect. Yes. So another thing 856 00:52:08,360 --> 00:52:11,880 Speaker 1: I recommend every woman practice during this time when she's 857 00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:15,759 Speaker 1: staying at home, she's in front of her marriage every 858 00:52:15,840 --> 00:52:18,400 Speaker 1: so often, is to do the work of healing her 859 00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:21,800 Speaker 1: own gaze. Because there's not a woman I've met I 860 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:27,120 Speaker 1: couldn't benefit from that work of learning to see herself clearly, 861 00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:31,480 Speaker 1: really learning how to love and approve of herself fully. 862 00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:35,520 Speaker 1: Because most of us are walking around with these lenses 863 00:52:35,680 --> 00:52:40,560 Speaker 1: on how we look, and you're judging ourselves through this 864 00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:43,920 Speaker 1: lens that's not even ours. We're judging ourselves through the 865 00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:48,120 Speaker 1: culture we grew up in, or the society at large 866 00:52:48,200 --> 00:52:50,879 Speaker 1: and what the beauty standards are for this particular moment 867 00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:54,120 Speaker 1: in history, or we're judging ourselves through the lens of 868 00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:57,200 Speaker 1: a mother or a father who is toxic, or another 869 00:52:57,280 --> 00:52:59,839 Speaker 1: family mest member. So just to recognize that the way 870 00:53:00,040 --> 00:53:05,440 Speaker 1: are currently seeing ourselves probably isn't the real picture and 871 00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:08,960 Speaker 1: we can learn to see ourselves clearly, and that does 872 00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:12,400 Speaker 1: take some work of going inwards and being playful. Like 873 00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,800 Speaker 1: I teach women how to take spexy selfie spexy souls 874 00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:18,719 Speaker 1: what I call it is because there's a form of 875 00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:24,880 Speaker 1: art therapy in this. It's really reclaiming our own appearance 876 00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:29,080 Speaker 1: and how we choose to express that appearance, and reclaiming 877 00:53:29,120 --> 00:53:34,440 Speaker 1: our own image and feeling comfortable in these different expressions 878 00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:38,400 Speaker 1: of beauty of womanhood, whether it's like going for as 879 00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:42,880 Speaker 1: the seductress with the bright red lipsticks and the cleavage 880 00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:46,000 Speaker 1: up to our chin, you know, being safe in that 881 00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:51,360 Speaker 1: self expression, and then also feeling safe like completely naked, 882 00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:54,880 Speaker 1: like after a good cry, you know, when you're just 883 00:53:55,040 --> 00:53:58,279 Speaker 1: so raw and you're just like trolled up in a 884 00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:00,960 Speaker 1: ball in the corner of your room. Like there's so 885 00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:03,919 Speaker 1: much that can be done through art that can help 886 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:08,000 Speaker 1: redeem our experience of womanhood and then to help us 887 00:54:08,080 --> 00:54:12,000 Speaker 1: feel safe owning our shadow and light. So I love 888 00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:15,640 Speaker 1: teaching women how to use the sexy selfie and as 889 00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:20,239 Speaker 1: a way as a as a tool to reclaim these 890 00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:23,439 Speaker 1: aspects of themselves that have been controlled by someone other 891 00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:28,680 Speaker 1: than them culture they grew up in the religious whatever 892 00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:32,440 Speaker 1: it may be, someone else probably has had a lot 893 00:54:32,520 --> 00:54:34,520 Speaker 1: of like say, over what you're allowed or what you're 894 00:54:34,560 --> 00:54:37,200 Speaker 1: not allowed to show up as as a woman. And 895 00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:39,600 Speaker 1: so it's doing the work of examine who have you 896 00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:43,200 Speaker 1: given permission to, who have you been given power away too, 897 00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:48,399 Speaker 1: and doing the work of taking that back. And really 898 00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:51,160 Speaker 1: it's worked 's ongoing because as you know, like we're 899 00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,600 Speaker 1: changing all the time. Some of those changes are voluntary 900 00:54:54,800 --> 00:54:57,320 Speaker 1: or changing the color of our hair, we're getting botox 901 00:54:57,440 --> 00:55:00,520 Speaker 1: or liftillers, or some of those changes aren't, or aging 902 00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:04,160 Speaker 1: or something happens. And so how we see ourselves in 903 00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:07,239 Speaker 1: the mirror. Learning to see that woman with so much 904 00:55:07,320 --> 00:55:11,320 Speaker 1: respect and giving her a lot of margin to play 905 00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:15,279 Speaker 1: with her appearance, we'll create way more freedom internally and 906 00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:17,120 Speaker 1: then way more freedom for the rest of the world, 907 00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:20,000 Speaker 1: because how we see ourselves, it's how we see others. 908 00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,600 Speaker 1: How we judge ourselves is how we judge others. And 909 00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:25,680 Speaker 1: so it really is a gift to not only your 910 00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:29,080 Speaker 1: daughter's or to the next generation, but to the collective 911 00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:32,719 Speaker 1: of womanhood. When you lighten up on yourself and you 912 00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:35,960 Speaker 1: start approving of who you see in the mirror, and 913 00:55:36,040 --> 00:55:38,600 Speaker 1: you start allowing that woman to change and grow and 914 00:55:38,719 --> 00:55:41,920 Speaker 1: see herself in new ways. Then it gives all women 915 00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:45,200 Speaker 1: everywhere that permission to I love the idea of doing 916 00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:49,239 Speaker 1: these activities too, and while being in isolation, just really 917 00:55:49,280 --> 00:55:52,520 Speaker 1: making it a productive time for self care, getting to 918 00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:56,960 Speaker 1: know yourself, to grow as a human. Yeah, I really 919 00:55:57,040 --> 00:56:00,960 Speaker 1: felt this call, Like as we socially disc it, may 920 00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:07,719 Speaker 1: we intimately advance. We can just every single day be 921 00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,120 Speaker 1: like you know what, what a guest. Then I get 922 00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:14,840 Speaker 1: this time to reclaim regain trust and intimacy with my 923 00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:17,760 Speaker 1: own soul, because if any of us have trust issues 924 00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:21,160 Speaker 1: with the world out there, it begins with regaining trust 925 00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:25,440 Speaker 1: with ourselves. Yeah, and there's so much beauty in this 926 00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:29,960 Speaker 1: courtship to really pamper yourself, pamper your soul, get to 927 00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:34,920 Speaker 1: know her, see her as the beloved and and really 928 00:56:35,600 --> 00:56:38,360 Speaker 1: become her best friend. And she is there for you. 929 00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:40,600 Speaker 1: You can be there for her. And there's a beautiful 930 00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,799 Speaker 1: relationship that can open up in this time. And it's 931 00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,680 Speaker 1: part of it is embodied and so like this self 932 00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:49,600 Speaker 1: touch is important. Part of it is the healing of 933 00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:52,960 Speaker 1: the trauma, So letting go of the of the residue 934 00:56:53,239 --> 00:56:57,560 Speaker 1: and feeling our feelings, taking out the trash with the breastwork. 935 00:56:58,120 --> 00:57:00,239 Speaker 1: Part of it is connecting to the inner child, old, 936 00:57:00,280 --> 00:57:03,759 Speaker 1: that playfulness, that creativity through whimsy. A part of it 937 00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:08,080 Speaker 1: is connecting to our higher self and our spirituality, which 938 00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:12,600 Speaker 1: is like, let's all imagine together an even more beautiful world, 939 00:57:12,800 --> 00:57:15,560 Speaker 1: an even more beautiful future coming from this, because that's 940 00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:19,760 Speaker 1: a powerful prayer right there. Yes, so these are great 941 00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:23,120 Speaker 1: tips for you guys to just look through, look at 942 00:57:23,280 --> 00:57:26,800 Speaker 1: during this isolation period. Also, Morgan, if people are looking 943 00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:30,960 Speaker 1: to possibly reach out to you and schedule some sessions 944 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,040 Speaker 1: with you or do some work with you, where can 945 00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:37,320 Speaker 1: they find you? Yes, they can be at me and 946 00:57:37,440 --> 00:57:39,760 Speaker 1: I can get them set up with my assistant and 947 00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:42,280 Speaker 1: we can find a place on my calendar just to 948 00:57:42,880 --> 00:57:44,960 Speaker 1: get on a deeper dive call to see how I 949 00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:48,960 Speaker 1: can support you. And yeah, to not be a stranger 950 00:57:49,040 --> 00:57:52,040 Speaker 1: on Instagram. That seems to be a place where it's 951 00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:55,360 Speaker 1: a beautiful time right now to connect and to say hello, 952 00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:59,160 Speaker 1: m Yeah, I would love to support women. And your 953 00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:03,880 Speaker 1: handle is at Morgan day cecil correct, that's C C 954 00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:06,640 Speaker 1: E C I L. I'll link it at the bottom 955 00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:09,960 Speaker 1: of the podcast description as well, but it's at Morgan 956 00:58:10,040 --> 00:58:14,360 Speaker 1: day Cecil and if women are interested in the work 957 00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:17,960 Speaker 1: of seeing themselves clearly, I have a course that is 958 00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:20,120 Speaker 1: an online journey. You can go at your own pace 959 00:58:20,760 --> 00:58:23,000 Speaker 1: and connect into it at any time, and you can 960 00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:27,280 Speaker 1: find it at heal your own gays dot Com. Amazing, Morgan, 961 00:58:27,360 --> 00:58:30,320 Speaker 1: thank you so much for doing this. I personally really 962 00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:32,360 Speaker 1: learned a lot and gave me a lot to think 963 00:58:32,400 --> 00:58:35,280 Speaker 1: about with my relationship with myself, so I'm sure a 964 00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:38,520 Speaker 1: lot of our listeners felt that way too well. Thank 965 00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:40,880 Speaker 1: you so much, Kelly for having me. It was really 966 00:58:40,960 --> 00:58:44,080 Speaker 1: a joy just to spend this time with you and 967 00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:47,840 Speaker 1: to feel right now how we're spending time with all 968 00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:50,720 Speaker 1: of your listeners, and I just send other blessings to 969 00:58:50,800 --> 00:58:53,640 Speaker 1: each of them that this would be a time that 970 00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:58,560 Speaker 1: as we socially distance together, we are also intimately advancing 971 00:58:58,680 --> 00:59:01,360 Speaker 1: towards the full of the expression and freedom of our 972 00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:05,280 Speaker 1: own souls. Yes, yes, thank you guys for listening. This 973 00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:07,880 Speaker 1: is Kelly Henderson and you've been listening to the Velvet 974 00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,360 Speaker 1: Edge podcast. I truly believe that every one of us 975 00:59:11,400 --> 00:59:14,040 Speaker 1: has a little velvet and a little edge, so it's 976 00:59:14,080 --> 00:59:16,840 Speaker 1: so important to remember that to be strong, you must 977 00:59:16,920 --> 00:59:19,720 Speaker 1: be soft too. Thank you so much for sharing in 978 00:59:19,800 --> 00:59:23,760 Speaker 1: those stories listen. You can follow Velvet's Edge on Instagram, Facebook, 979 00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:26,720 Speaker 1: and Twitter, as well as velvet's Edge dot com. If 980 00:59:26,760 --> 00:59:29,680 Speaker 1: you have it yet, go to Apple Podcast and subscribe, 981 00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:33,280 Speaker 1: rate and review this podcast. Join me every Wednesday for 982 00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:38,200 Speaker 1: more conversations on lifestyle, beauty, and relationships. Thanks for listening.