WEBVTT - Nineteen with Ziwe

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<v Speaker 1>Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

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<v Speaker 2>Can you see my background in Whistler? Do you see

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<v Speaker 2>how beautiful it is here? It's a snow blizzard.

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<v Speaker 3>It's a blizzard.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like the snow is falling so softly behind you.

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<v Speaker 1>It looks like a quaint little town because there's snow

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<v Speaker 1>on the rooftime it.

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<v Speaker 3>Is it is.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know I first saw I'm sick. I'm still

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<v Speaker 2>sick from the last time I saw you. I've been

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<v Speaker 2>sick for a month straight.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know what. I think. I have monkey pocks.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know what is wrong with me.

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<v Speaker 2>So excuse my sniffling everyone, but I can't get well.

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<v Speaker 2>And you know what the cutest thing was yesterday what

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<v Speaker 2>my friends. I was having dinner with my girlfriends here.

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<v Speaker 2>I have a crew here, you know. My whole family

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<v Speaker 2>was here for a week, and then my two my

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<v Speaker 2>nieces stayed here for another five days. And my one

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<v Speaker 2>niece woke me up at three in the morning. I

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<v Speaker 2>feel a tap on my shoulder and Seneca's like, Chelsea,

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<v Speaker 2>I've been throwing up all night. And I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>what the fuck am I supposed to do about it?

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<v Speaker 2>And so of course I got up. I'm in my

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<v Speaker 2>bra and underwear. I put her in my bathroom. She's

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<v Speaker 2>still throwing up. I'm trying to shove a zofran down

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<v Speaker 2>her throat. I'm like, here, fucking swallow this. And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>when someone's bobbiting, you can't, like they can't even drink anything.

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<v Speaker 2>And I'm sitting on the side of my bathtub in

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<v Speaker 2>my bra and underwear, and I'm like, thank God, this

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<v Speaker 2>isn't my life, you know, like I don't even know

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<v Speaker 2>what to do. So I'm just sitting there watching her vomit.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I get into my bed and I'm like, okay, Senny,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, come in my bed. I moved over. She

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<v Speaker 2>got into my bed and stayed in my bed for

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<v Speaker 2>twenty four hours, and I'm like, oh, this is what

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<v Speaker 2>it must be like to be a mother. Yes, but

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<v Speaker 2>I guess I caught whatever she got. And then my

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<v Speaker 2>other niece, Charlie was here. She's a dream boat too,

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<v Speaker 2>She's skiing like a maniac. But we didn't have a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of snow, and so it was kind of depressing.

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<v Speaker 2>There was enough snow to ski, but you can't ski

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<v Speaker 2>in or like to the bottom of the hill, and

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<v Speaker 2>it was a little light and now we are in

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<v Speaker 2>full blizzard mode. So as soon as we are done

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<v Speaker 2>with today's episode, I am getting my boots on and

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<v Speaker 2>I am taking my sick ass out on the slopes.

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<v Speaker 1>Amazing. Just drink a lot of bone broth when you

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<v Speaker 1>get back.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to bring a campbel back of bone broth

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<v Speaker 2>on the mountain. But I've just been I love it

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<v Speaker 2>here so much. I can't tell you the unadulterated joy

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<v Speaker 2>I feel. I'm sitting here. I write my book. Every

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<v Speaker 2>day I'm write working so hard on my new book.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone is going to be well. I mean, I hope

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<v Speaker 2>everyone's going to love it, because I'm starting to love it.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure they will. Actually, you know what, speaking of books, Well,

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<v Speaker 1>first of all, I'm curious if you've been reading anything.

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<v Speaker 1>But I've gotten a few emails asking where people can

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<v Speaker 1>find the books that we talk about on the show,

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<v Speaker 1>and I usually try to pop those into the show notes.

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<v Speaker 1>So for anybody who's wondering where can I am listening

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<v Speaker 1>in my car and you guys mentioned a book and

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<v Speaker 1>I don't remember what it was, go ahead and look

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<v Speaker 1>in the description of the show and you'll usually find

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<v Speaker 1>the book that we were chatting about.

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<v Speaker 2>I just started this book that Tanner gave me called

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<v Speaker 2>Cassantra at the Wedding by Dorothy Baker. Anyway, it's really good.

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<v Speaker 2>It's about sisters. It's a short book. You know, when

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<v Speaker 2>I'm writing a book, I don't read as much, so

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<v Speaker 2>that's been an issue. So this morning I got up

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<v Speaker 2>and read two chapters of it because I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>I need to.

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<v Speaker 3>Be reading while I'm writing.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't like when I don't read for long periods

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<v Speaker 2>of time, and when I come to Whistler kind of

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<v Speaker 2>avoid the news and I avoid, well, all things that

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<v Speaker 2>are real.

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<v Speaker 3>So I'm just in like this fantasyland.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like your Disneyland.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm coming home tomorrow because no one needs to watch

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<v Speaker 2>the Critics' Choice Awards on Sunday night that I'm hosting,

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<v Speaker 2>and I cannot wait.

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<v Speaker 1>Yay, that's gonna be so exciting.

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<v Speaker 3>I have watched every single movie. Oh my god, I've won.

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<v Speaker 2>There are so much horniness in the movies this year.

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<v Speaker 2>So many penises, so many pres theses.

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<v Speaker 4>Horniness. Queerness is great. There's tons of horniness, queerness everything.

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<v Speaker 4>It makes me horny to watch all these movies. I

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<v Speaker 4>can't wait to get on stage and talk about it.

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have a favorite or a couple of favorites.

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<v Speaker 2>Saltburn was pretty twisted, and I like that it was

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<v Speaker 2>like kind of a modern day talented mister Ripley, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a little analogous to that. So I liked

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<v Speaker 2>that a lot. I really liked Oppenheimer. I mean it's

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<v Speaker 2>really long. Killers of the Flower Moon took me about

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<v Speaker 2>seven hours to watch it, and it was three and

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<v Speaker 2>a half hours long because I had to take breaks.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I think Saltburn is the most compelling.

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<v Speaker 2>I watched Stranger from Us all of us Strangers, yes,

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<v Speaker 2>all of us strangers.

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<v Speaker 3>That guy in it, I love him so much.

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<v Speaker 2>He's so sexy, and it's a really sexy gay love story.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's nice to be straight and appreciate gay sexy

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<v Speaker 2>love stories.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes indeed, and like sometimes they're a little sexier.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I know. I was like, should I master base?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm like, don't get carried away? And then wait, what

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<v Speaker 2>else happened?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 2>I have my little baby here, my buddhas you know,

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<v Speaker 2>Kelly's daughters are here.

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<v Speaker 3>That's just so fun.

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<v Speaker 2>I just am like, I love being a stepfather to them,

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<v Speaker 2>and we announced some new shows. We announced shows in Australia,

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<v Speaker 2>and we announced a really fun show that I'm doing

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<v Speaker 2>with Fortune Fimster and Mateo Lane and Sam Jay at

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<v Speaker 2>the YouTube Theater in May for the Netflix as a

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<v Speaker 2>Joke Festival in Los Angeles. So get your tickets for

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<v Speaker 2>that because that's about to sell out and that is

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<v Speaker 2>going to be a wild night and Vanessa's going to

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<v Speaker 2>be there as well. And then yeah, I've added five

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<v Speaker 2>dates in New Zealand and Australia.

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<v Speaker 3>I have Canadian dates coming up.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to be January nineteenth in Edna and then

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<v Speaker 2>Saskatoon and I'm coming to Colonna all over Winter Vancouver, Colonna, Calgary.

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<v Speaker 2>So yes, please go to Chelseahandler dot com get your

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<v Speaker 2>tickets because everything is almost sold out. So maybe I'll

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<v Speaker 2>be adding second shows, but I'm not sure we'll see

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<v Speaker 2>I like my winter time.

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<v Speaker 1>Did you wind up getting a new dog?

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<v Speaker 3>Did that wind up? Or didn't you know? I rode up?

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<v Speaker 2>I got that CO two treatment on my face, which

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<v Speaker 2>we should show a picture of at some point, even

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<v Speaker 2>though this is a podcast, because I looked like Mike

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<v Speaker 2>Tyson just got done with me. I got a CO

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<v Speaker 2>two treatment. I drove from Los Angeles to Whistler.

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<v Speaker 3>Huh.

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<v Speaker 2>So it was like two and a half day drive

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<v Speaker 2>that I cause I took my time. And I stopped

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<v Speaker 2>in Bend, Oregon to visit a friend of mine, Melissa,

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<v Speaker 2>and she saw my face and she's like, holy shit,

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<v Speaker 2>what the fuck did you do? And I was like, listen,

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<v Speaker 2>I have done a lot of shit in my face.

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<v Speaker 2>This one was otherworldly. I looked crazy. Not only was

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<v Speaker 2>I black and blue, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Was bleeding and swollen.

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<v Speaker 2>God, and so like this seven top layers of your

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<v Speaker 2>skin just start peeling off after like day three. So

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<v Speaker 2>I'm driving and there's just like little gray matter all

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<v Speaker 2>over my seat, like when your clothes shed Like I

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<v Speaker 2>was shedding like a reptile. It was so disgusting. But meanwhile,

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<v Speaker 2>my face is like a baby's ass.

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<v Speaker 5>Now.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, but the skin is so sensitive under my eyes.

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<v Speaker 2>She really zapped me under my eyes for my crows feet.

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<v Speaker 2>I like to keep my crows feet around you, notice,

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<v Speaker 2>to stay grounded.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't want to botox those or anything.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you gotta just like look like a human.

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<v Speaker 5>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a little light, But I am excited about my

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<v Speaker 2>dresses for this Sunday because they are. I didn't know

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<v Speaker 2>if I was gonna be able top last year's outfit

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<v Speaker 2>changes for the Critics' Choice Awards because I was really

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<v Speaker 2>happy with my dresses last year, and you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't really give a shit that much about clothing, but

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<v Speaker 2>I am fucking banging it out again this year.

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<v Speaker 1>It looks so good last year. Are you able to

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<v Speaker 1>give us like a preview of like, are they Barkley?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you have color all the abode?

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<v Speaker 5>No?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't wear sparkles, Catherine. You know better than that.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't wear sparkles. Like I like color one color,

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<v Speaker 2>one dress, and I like to show.

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<v Speaker 3>My body off.

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<v Speaker 1>There you go, my bottom, My choice excellent, Chelsea. Are

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<v Speaker 1>you Are you a resolutions person? Is that something that

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<v Speaker 1>you get into at the beginning of the year.

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<v Speaker 3>No, I'm not. I mean I think it's I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't like when everybody's doing everything is something you know,

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<v Speaker 2>you know how I feel about trendiness. I don't like

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<v Speaker 2>New Year's resolutions. I just get better every year, and

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<v Speaker 2>we all should be getting better every year.

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<v Speaker 1>Honestly, That's what I kind of realized a few years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, I would set these like grandiose resolutions, and

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<v Speaker 1>then I would realize at the end of the year, like, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>I actually like started doing a few of those things,

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<v Speaker 1>even though I thought I didn't do the resolution because

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't I wasn't real strict about it. But like

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<v Speaker 1>after a few years, I'm like, oh, I'm actually like

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<v Speaker 1>doing these things I wanted to do on a regular pas.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, yeah, I mean we can always. I mean, I'm

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<v Speaker 3>always just trying to improve.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean sometimes I take a couple of breaks, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>but I've been better, Like I had family around me

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<v Speaker 2>for three weeks straight. I had guests and family because

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<v Speaker 2>I had some friends come up too, And you know,

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<v Speaker 2>I did that in my Orca this summer, and I

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<v Speaker 2>just know my patience has gotten so much better. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>when they leave, I do have to take like a

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<v Speaker 2>Xanax and sleep for fucking twelve hours or actually I

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<v Speaker 2>slept for twenty hours the other day.

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<v Speaker 3>I woke up, took some night well and went right

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<v Speaker 3>back to sleep. Perfect.

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<v Speaker 2>But you know, my patience has got is improved. My

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<v Speaker 2>self awareness is on point. I'm aware, I'm calm, I

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<v Speaker 2>don't yell at people anymore.

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<v Speaker 3>So like I'm I'm happy with myself. That's really good.

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<v Speaker 1>And I would imagine too, like, since your patience has

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<v Speaker 1>gotten better, everyone around you is having a better time,

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<v Speaker 1>but you're also having a better time.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, I'm having a better time, and I'm also enjoying.

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<v Speaker 4>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>I always used to like imagine when I was younger,

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<v Speaker 2>the kind of aunt I would be, Like I wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to be this like bad ass woman that my nieces

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<v Speaker 2>and nephew's looked up to and came to.

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<v Speaker 3>And that's happening.

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<v Speaker 2>They come to me for advice, and they tell me secrets,

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<v Speaker 2>and they tell me things that they don't tell their moms.

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<v Speaker 2>And my sisters are probably both listening and wondering what.

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<v Speaker 2>But that, you know, it makes me feel so good

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<v Speaker 2>to like have these relationships in my life with children,

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<v Speaker 2>and at this age because they're all getting older now,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, they're not like eighteen, nineteen, twenty somethings, and

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<v Speaker 2>now we can have like adult relationships, and I just

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<v Speaker 2>I love that. And I my relationship with my sisters

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<v Speaker 2>has always been really good. And I had a great

0:09:15.840 --> 0:09:17.720
<v Speaker 2>time with my brother this year. I mean, there were

0:09:17.720 --> 0:09:19.880
<v Speaker 2>a lot of mushrooms going around in our family, A

0:09:19.880 --> 0:09:22.199
<v Speaker 2>lot of mushrooms, a lot of edibles were that kind

0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:24.720
<v Speaker 2>of family. We had a dinner out where it was

0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:28.760
<v Speaker 2>just a complete disaster. We could not stop laughing for

0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:31.960
<v Speaker 2>about three hours. So, I mean, this is kind of

0:09:32.080 --> 0:09:34.960
<v Speaker 2>what I dreamt about, you know, Like I wanted, I

0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:37.520
<v Speaker 2>wanted a big family like this, but I didn't want

0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:39.920
<v Speaker 2>to make one, and I have one, you know, Like

0:09:40.000 --> 0:09:42.160
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to make my own, but I took

0:09:42.240 --> 0:09:44.920
<v Speaker 2>what I had and we all like come together and

0:09:45.280 --> 0:09:47.439
<v Speaker 2>we have. There's so many of us now with the

0:09:47.520 --> 0:09:51.160
<v Speaker 2>kids and their boyfriends and their girlfriends, and it's just awesome.

0:09:51.400 --> 0:09:53.440
<v Speaker 1>Well, I think when you imagine something the way you

0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:55.520
<v Speaker 1>had been, you see it in your minds eye, it's

0:09:55.520 --> 0:09:59.080
<v Speaker 1>so much more likely to come to fruition to actually happen,

0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:01.640
<v Speaker 1>you know, and yeah, made that happen in your life.

0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:04.600
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so it's a it's you know, manifestation can sound

0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:07.400
<v Speaker 2>like such a corny word sometimes because it's like, but

0:10:07.559 --> 0:10:09.160
<v Speaker 2>so many of the things that have happened in my

0:10:09.200 --> 0:10:14.120
<v Speaker 2>life are have been manifested by me unconsciously or subconsciously,

0:10:14.280 --> 0:10:17.440
<v Speaker 2>you know, like I've just always envisioned. Okay, you know,

0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:19.319
<v Speaker 2>when I grow up, I want to have a skihouse.

0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:21.319
<v Speaker 2>I want to have this, I want to do.

0:10:21.360 --> 0:10:24.480
<v Speaker 3>These things, like you know, and and and to feel

0:10:25.280 --> 0:10:27.199
<v Speaker 3>really secure. I feel very.

0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:30.240
<v Speaker 2>Secure and I feel calm. I've started working with a

0:10:30.280 --> 0:10:33.600
<v Speaker 2>new therapist, a woman. Fun yeah, because I wanted some

0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:36.840
<v Speaker 2>like feedback on some things, and so it felt really good.

0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:38.160
<v Speaker 3>To reach out to a new therapist.

0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:42.040
<v Speaker 2>That felt really empowering to know that I needed someone

0:10:42.120 --> 0:10:45.120
<v Speaker 2>to talk to that was outside of my circle. And

0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:47.960
<v Speaker 2>I've been working with her and she's a real like

0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:51.160
<v Speaker 2>very different than my previous therapist, which is good because

0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:55.280
<v Speaker 2>I you know, I've I did that and I wanted

0:10:55.280 --> 0:10:58.200
<v Speaker 2>something different and a different fresh eyes on something.

0:10:58.480 --> 0:10:59.480
<v Speaker 3>And so that's been good.

0:10:59.520 --> 0:11:04.679
<v Speaker 2>And my kind of approach with everything like romantic liaisons

0:11:04.760 --> 0:11:08.079
<v Speaker 2>and men and all of it, I have. I feel

0:11:08.160 --> 0:11:10.439
<v Speaker 2>really good about all of that stuff that's happening too,

0:11:11.120 --> 0:11:15.120
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm open to love, but I really like I'm

0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:18.880
<v Speaker 2>also open to casual encounters with lots of different men.

0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:22.199
<v Speaker 2>And there's nothing wrong with that. They're like, that's fun

0:11:22.320 --> 0:11:24.560
<v Speaker 2>to have a guy in a place and to have

0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:28.240
<v Speaker 2>another guy in another place, and to be honest and upfront,

0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:31.640
<v Speaker 2>never lie about what you're up to, but to have

0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:34.160
<v Speaker 2>an understanding like, yeah, we're friends and we're going to

0:11:34.240 --> 0:11:37.280
<v Speaker 2>have sex. And we're friends and we're gonna have sex,

0:11:37.320 --> 0:11:39.320
<v Speaker 2>and this is going to be a romantic relationship and

0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:42.480
<v Speaker 2>it's not going to be exclusive. But if someone does

0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:46.040
<v Speaker 2>come along and I feel that strongly about it, I

0:11:46.120 --> 0:11:50.040
<v Speaker 2>will enter into a monogamous relationship. But I also just

0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:51.880
<v Speaker 2>want to use my body and share it.

0:11:52.000 --> 0:11:54.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean, how great is it to be just

0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:57.720
<v Speaker 1>like living in the moment where you're at being like cool,

0:11:57.760 --> 0:12:01.560
<v Speaker 1>whatever comes my way that's positive, feels right, let's do that.

0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:03.960
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so excuse me.

0:12:04.040 --> 0:12:05.640
<v Speaker 2>I just took a sip of my bone broth at

0:12:05.679 --> 0:12:08.080
<v Speaker 2>my friend. Oh and so yesterday I was sick. I

0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:09.880
<v Speaker 2>was supposed to go to dinner with like six of

0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:13.480
<v Speaker 2>my girlfriends here, and I arranged it and then canceled.

0:12:13.520 --> 0:12:15.920
<v Speaker 2>I was like, can you guys go without me? I'm

0:12:16.080 --> 0:12:20.000
<v Speaker 2>just spreading germs basically, right, And then three of them

0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:22.840
<v Speaker 2>came over with soup, Like three different people dropped off

0:12:22.920 --> 0:12:26.040
<v Speaker 2>lentil soup, bone broth, and then this sky brought me flowers.

0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:29.640
<v Speaker 3>I was like, what this is like my little village

0:12:29.640 --> 0:12:33.520
<v Speaker 3>of happiness? Yes, you have community there, I do, I do.

0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:36.199
<v Speaker 2>I feel so loved I just it feels so nice.

0:12:36.200 --> 0:12:37.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm soaking it all up.

0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:41.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's wonderful. I think something it's not really a resolution,

0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:44.280
<v Speaker 1>but something I want to be more intentional about this

0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:48.280
<v Speaker 1>year is interacting in community and sort of like getting

0:12:48.320 --> 0:12:51.000
<v Speaker 1>off of my screens, which I've pretty successfully done this

0:12:51.120 --> 0:12:54.160
<v Speaker 1>last year. Like I don't keep Instagram on my phone

0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:56.960
<v Speaker 1>just because otherwise I just keep going to it, but

0:12:57.040 --> 0:12:59.480
<v Speaker 1>getting off of screens and getting into real life, so

0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:02.920
<v Speaker 1>like rather having a zoom, going in person scheduling. You know,

0:13:02.960 --> 0:13:05.600
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to trivia night tonight with some of my girlfriends,

0:13:05.760 --> 0:13:07.800
<v Speaker 1>that sort of thing. So trying to be intentional.

0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that's nice. That's nice too. I mean, it's always

0:13:10.440 --> 0:13:12.800
<v Speaker 2>nice to be off your phone. I don't spend nearly

0:13:12.840 --> 0:13:14.880
<v Speaker 2>as much time on my phone as I do when

0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:17.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm home here when I'm here because when you're skiing,

0:13:17.000 --> 0:13:18.400
<v Speaker 2>you're not sitting there looking at.

0:13:18.320 --> 0:13:21.520
<v Speaker 3>Your phone, right, And that feels good too. I don't

0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:22.200
<v Speaker 3>want to be like that.

0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:24.520
<v Speaker 2>It says I got a thing on my phone that

0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:28.160
<v Speaker 2>says your screen use time has gone down thirty seven percent.

0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh that's from last week, and it keeps saying that

0:13:30.679 --> 0:13:33.079
<v Speaker 2>every week. It keeps going down. I'm like, exactly, that's it.

0:13:33.200 --> 0:13:37.040
<v Speaker 2>And Bernice and Bernice, Bernice, I'm missing the whole point.

0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:40.080
<v Speaker 3>Bernice is this We Bernice and I.

0:13:40.040 --> 0:13:43.679
<v Speaker 2>Are bonding like it's nobody's fucking business. Bernice, I res

0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:45.640
<v Speaker 2>I took up with me to drive because I thought

0:13:45.640 --> 0:13:47.240
<v Speaker 2>I was going to rescue that other dog. We went

0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:50.640
<v Speaker 2>to the rescue. The dog bit me, so I was like, Okay, well,

0:13:50.640 --> 0:13:51.520
<v Speaker 2>obviously I can't.

0:13:51.360 --> 0:13:51.960
<v Speaker 3>Get this dog.

0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:54.400
<v Speaker 2>But by the way, what business do I have having

0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.000
<v Speaker 2>more than one dog? Anyway, Bernice is all I can handle,

0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:58.920
<v Speaker 2>and every she piece twice a day, and that's the

0:13:58.920 --> 0:13:59.640
<v Speaker 2>schedule I'm on.

0:14:00.280 --> 0:14:02.440
<v Speaker 3>So she is so cute.

0:14:02.480 --> 0:14:04.720
<v Speaker 2>She sleeps in bed with me, She follows me around

0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:07.640
<v Speaker 2>because she doesn't know where the fuck she is she is.

0:14:07.920 --> 0:14:10.079
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I can't wait to see what happens when

0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:11.559
<v Speaker 2>we bring her back at the end of winter and

0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:14.240
<v Speaker 2>see how she reacts when she sees Felix, because I mean,

0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:15.800
<v Speaker 2>she'll probably drop me like a hot potato.

0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:18.080
<v Speaker 3>But we are bonding.

0:14:18.200 --> 0:14:20.880
<v Speaker 2>She gets into bed with me on her own, she

0:14:20.920 --> 0:14:23.120
<v Speaker 2>cut and then she comes in when she wants to pee.

0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:25.280
<v Speaker 2>She taps me on the shoulder and she's like, come on,

0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:26.440
<v Speaker 2>let's go with.

0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:28.360
<v Speaker 3>Her, paw. I mean, I'm like, oh my god.

0:14:28.680 --> 0:14:31.240
<v Speaker 2>And the other day I was walking around I posted

0:14:31.240 --> 0:14:33.760
<v Speaker 2>this on Instagram. I took her for a walk and

0:14:33.800 --> 0:14:35.960
<v Speaker 2>this little kid was on his balcony and he goes.

0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:39.320
<v Speaker 4>Daddy, daddy, come outside, there's a little baby bear.

0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:45.320
<v Speaker 2>I mean, everyone stops to talk to her, which is also,

0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:46.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, very annoying.

0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:48.720
<v Speaker 1>Right right, It's like, oh, this is so fun. And

0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:50.080
<v Speaker 1>then you're like, too many people.

0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:53.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm not looking for any extra any extra attention or conversation.

0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:55.320
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, back off, back off.

0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:57.360
<v Speaker 1>She does fully look like a bear, like she looks

0:14:57.360 --> 0:14:58.520
<v Speaker 1>like she should be hibernating.

0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.400
<v Speaker 3>I know, she's so fucking cute, so sweet.

0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:03.920
<v Speaker 1>Well, should we introduce our guest today?

0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:07.720
<v Speaker 2>Yes, yes, we have a guest today whose book is

0:15:07.720 --> 0:15:10.760
<v Speaker 2>called Black Friend and she had a very funny show

0:15:10.800 --> 0:15:14.760
<v Speaker 2>on Showtime called ze Way and that's her name, zee Way.

0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:24.280
<v Speaker 2>So please welcome this hot potato ze Way. Oh okay,

0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:25.600
<v Speaker 2>your time, take your time?

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:27.400
<v Speaker 5>Sorry, why honey, how are.

0:15:27.400 --> 0:15:31.760
<v Speaker 3>You are you good? Good? Let's get yeah, yeah, sit down,

0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.400
<v Speaker 3>let's go, bitch. Are you fucking ready? I'm ready to go.

0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:38.680
<v Speaker 5>Let's do it. Look no, I'm good raw dogging it?

0:15:38.920 --> 0:15:40.440
<v Speaker 3>Oh, I love a raw dog.

0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:43.360
<v Speaker 5>I look at a little moist. It's okay.

0:15:43.560 --> 0:15:47.200
<v Speaker 3>This is Catherine, she's on the thing. How are you doing?

0:15:47.320 --> 0:15:48.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm great? How are you?

0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:50.840
<v Speaker 5>I'm great? I'm chilling. I'm coming from an interview with

0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:54.240
<v Speaker 5>Penn Badgley of you Slash Gossip Girlfriends.

0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:54.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh.

0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:56.600
<v Speaker 5>Yes, he has a podcast as well. So I just did.

0:15:56.720 --> 0:15:58.440
<v Speaker 3>Oh oh good and how was that? It was great?

0:15:58.480 --> 0:15:59.080
<v Speaker 5>I can't complain.

0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:00.680
<v Speaker 3>Okay, great, great?

0:16:00.760 --> 0:16:01.920
<v Speaker 5>Of course. How are you doing today?

0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:02.080
<v Speaker 1>Hi?

0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:03.000
<v Speaker 5>Many people? Did you interview?

0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:05.480
<v Speaker 3>R I've interviewed one person so far. Yeah.

0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:07.320
<v Speaker 2>But I can't stop clearing my throat today. It's almost

0:16:07.320 --> 0:16:09.120
<v Speaker 2>like I smoked a joint last night. But I didn't,

0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:12.640
<v Speaker 2>and I don't smoke joints specifically because I hate fucking going.

0:16:13.480 --> 0:16:14.320
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, it's not cute.

0:16:14.360 --> 0:16:17.360
<v Speaker 3>So I don't know what happened, and I'm irritated. You know.

0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:19.680
<v Speaker 5>I'm sorry. I would offer you a lossage, but I

0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:20.040
<v Speaker 5>don't have.

0:16:20.200 --> 0:16:22.040
<v Speaker 2>You don't know, well, of course you don't have a

0:16:22.080 --> 0:16:23.440
<v Speaker 2>lossage on you. Why would you?

0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:23.600
<v Speaker 3>You know?

0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:25.880
<v Speaker 5>Sometimes I travel with cough drops, but not today.

0:16:26.400 --> 0:16:28.520
<v Speaker 3>We have a lot in common, we do, We have

0:16:28.560 --> 0:16:28.840
<v Speaker 3>a lot.

0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:33.000
<v Speaker 2>We're both blonde, yeah, we're both white, blonde, big breasted women.

0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:35.200
<v Speaker 5>Oh yes, BBW is what they call me.

0:16:35.360 --> 0:16:38.400
<v Speaker 3>So that's what I've been calling you behind your back. Actually,

0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:40.240
<v Speaker 3>thank you. So I first heard.

0:16:40.000 --> 0:16:42.840
<v Speaker 2>About you when you had your show on Showtime called

0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:46.240
<v Speaker 2>ze Way, and they were trying to book me on

0:16:46.360 --> 0:16:49.440
<v Speaker 2>the show, and my publicist at the time was so

0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:51.960
<v Speaker 2>confused about the format of the show that she goes,

0:16:52.040 --> 0:16:54.440
<v Speaker 2>I just don't feel comfortable sending you here because it

0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:56.520
<v Speaker 2>seems like a setup show. And I said, I can

0:16:56.560 --> 0:16:59.640
<v Speaker 2>handle a fucking setup show, Like I'm not worried about

0:16:59.680 --> 0:17:02.040
<v Speaker 2>someone setting me up and catching me out, Like what

0:17:02.520 --> 0:17:02.920
<v Speaker 2>I mean.

0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:05.439
<v Speaker 3>It's already out out there. Wow, and so and then

0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:06.239
<v Speaker 3>I never did it.

0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:07.880
<v Speaker 2>But then I was watching your show and I had

0:17:07.880 --> 0:17:09.920
<v Speaker 2>forgotten that I was, and then I was like, oh,

0:17:10.119 --> 0:17:10.840
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to do you.

0:17:10.840 --> 0:17:13.120
<v Speaker 3>I would have totally loved it, really great.

0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:14.760
<v Speaker 5>And by the way, I used to watch you every

0:17:14.840 --> 0:17:18.480
<v Speaker 5>day after school on Chelsea lately. I love that show.

0:17:19.359 --> 0:17:21.080
<v Speaker 5>So it would have been such a fun meeting of

0:17:21.119 --> 0:17:23.440
<v Speaker 5>the minds. But you know what next, I have to.

0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:25.919
<v Speaker 3>Do it next exactly. And how was that show for you?

0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:28.480
<v Speaker 5>It was? It was wild? I know, yeah, it was wild.

0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:30.400
<v Speaker 5>I mean, what was the nicest part of that show

0:17:30.480 --> 0:17:34.520
<v Speaker 5>was that the guests were so uniquely different, like Andrew

0:17:34.560 --> 0:17:37.280
<v Speaker 5>Yang versus like Chet Hanks versus friendly boys, Like they're

0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:40.200
<v Speaker 5>all so desparate. So I felt like I was learning

0:17:40.240 --> 0:17:41.520
<v Speaker 5>a lot about American culture.

0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:44.399
<v Speaker 2>Oh right, you needed an update on America. Yeah, just

0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:46.280
<v Speaker 2>like a heat check, like okay, what's popping?

0:17:46.359 --> 0:17:47.199
<v Speaker 3>Okay?

0:17:49.400 --> 0:17:53.119
<v Speaker 2>And so I read that you studied Oprah's interviews to

0:17:53.240 --> 0:17:55.879
<v Speaker 2>see who you wanted on your show, or did you

0:17:55.920 --> 0:17:58.359
<v Speaker 2>study her interviews to see how to interview people?

0:17:58.520 --> 0:18:01.840
<v Speaker 5>I mean, I definitely think Oprah was really good at

0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:06.600
<v Speaker 5>capturing like sensational interviews, Like they were always so ecstatical.

0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:08.720
<v Speaker 5>Even the Tom Cruise is like such a lightning in

0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:11.199
<v Speaker 5>the bottle that interview, And so she really taught me

0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:15.480
<v Speaker 5>the value of like creating a moment with the guest. Yeah,

0:18:15.520 --> 0:18:18.280
<v Speaker 5>so that's something that I really Also, she would interview

0:18:18.280 --> 0:18:20.159
<v Speaker 5>a wide plethora of people, So she talked to like

0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:23.520
<v Speaker 5>Tom Cruise or a different celebrity, Tony Braxen, and then

0:18:23.520 --> 0:18:26.879
<v Speaker 5>she'd talk to like, oh, the mother of a serial killer,

0:18:27.080 --> 0:18:29.040
<v Speaker 5>and it'd be like all in the same episode. So

0:18:29.080 --> 0:18:31.920
<v Speaker 5>she had really wide range. But she's a journalism background,

0:18:31.920 --> 0:18:33.120
<v Speaker 5>so I think that was really important.

0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:36.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and she also is a great fucking listener. Yeah

0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:36.920
<v Speaker 2>that's so good.

0:18:37.200 --> 0:18:39.920
<v Speaker 3>Okay. Yeah, when she's interested, you're interested.

0:18:40.359 --> 0:18:43.160
<v Speaker 2>And that's actually the key ingredient I believe for anyone

0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:45.680
<v Speaker 2>to do a decent interview is to actually fucking listen

0:18:45.720 --> 0:18:47.680
<v Speaker 2>and stop thinking about what you're going to be saying.

0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:50.840
<v Speaker 2>And it sometimes takes a long time to relax enough

0:18:50.960 --> 0:18:52.960
<v Speaker 2>into that. Like I was talking to a friend of

0:18:53.000 --> 0:18:54.879
<v Speaker 2>mine who has a TV show or has had several

0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:57.120
<v Speaker 2>TV shows, and he's a talk show host and I've

0:18:57.160 --> 0:18:59.160
<v Speaker 2>been a talk show host, and we were at drinks

0:18:59.240 --> 0:19:02.320
<v Speaker 2>last night and he was saying, it's funny when you

0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:03.919
<v Speaker 2>you haven't done it for a little bit and then

0:19:03.960 --> 0:19:06.520
<v Speaker 2>you do it, there's a rustiness that comes with it

0:19:06.600 --> 0:19:08.520
<v Speaker 2>because like, you can do it for many years and

0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:10.840
<v Speaker 2>you think it's like in your pocket, but then you

0:19:10.880 --> 0:19:13.119
<v Speaker 2>actually need to warm it up again because like talking

0:19:13.119 --> 0:19:15.719
<v Speaker 2>and interviewing people. I feel like I interview people wherever

0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:17.800
<v Speaker 2>I go. If you got dinner, I interview them. I

0:19:17.840 --> 0:19:20.560
<v Speaker 2>can't stop with the questions, and then I will badger

0:19:20.600 --> 0:19:23.639
<v Speaker 2>them if they don't, you know, if they're shy or

0:19:23.640 --> 0:19:24.400
<v Speaker 2>they're resistant.

0:19:24.520 --> 0:19:27.800
<v Speaker 3>I go in harder, oh really, more curious about what

0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:29.760
<v Speaker 3>they're what's up? You know, what their story?

0:19:29.800 --> 0:19:30.560
<v Speaker 5>What are you hiding?

0:19:30.840 --> 0:19:33.960
<v Speaker 2>Because there's a natural curiosity, right, that you have with people?

0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:36.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean I might have an unnatural curiosity because I

0:19:36.359 --> 0:19:37.920
<v Speaker 2>like to get involved in people's business.

0:19:38.160 --> 0:19:39.080
<v Speaker 3>Do you feel that way?

0:19:39.280 --> 0:19:42.560
<v Speaker 5>I gues and no, Like I like to mind my business.

0:19:42.720 --> 0:19:45.320
<v Speaker 5>I like to let people tell me things on their own.

0:19:45.480 --> 0:19:47.560
<v Speaker 5>And that's part of why people feel comfortable. Maybe is

0:19:47.560 --> 0:19:50.760
<v Speaker 5>because I will sit quietly and that is enough to

0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:52.840
<v Speaker 5>make people feel uncomfortable enough to speak.

0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:55.159
<v Speaker 3>I see. So a very different approach.

0:19:55.240 --> 0:19:57.520
<v Speaker 5>Different approach. Yeah, I won't like corner someone and be like,

0:19:57.560 --> 0:19:59.919
<v Speaker 5>tell me your life secrets, but maybe I should on

0:20:00.440 --> 0:20:02.800
<v Speaker 5>like I'm really I want to see what that tactic

0:20:02.840 --> 0:20:03.400
<v Speaker 5>does well.

0:20:03.400 --> 0:20:07.000
<v Speaker 2>There's also like an anthropological element to interviewing, right. It's

0:20:07.040 --> 0:20:10.119
<v Speaker 2>also just like you're trying to understand everybody, where everybody's

0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:12.480
<v Speaker 2>coming from. And I always give I noticed when I'm

0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:14.800
<v Speaker 2>talking to people and I'm curious about them, Like I

0:20:14.800 --> 0:20:18.000
<v Speaker 2>always think there's some big mystery behind everybody, and sometimes

0:20:18.760 --> 0:20:20.880
<v Speaker 2>more oftentimes there isn't you know what I mean?

0:20:20.920 --> 0:20:22.240
<v Speaker 3>People are pretty fucking basic.

0:20:22.560 --> 0:20:24.760
<v Speaker 2>So sometimes you're like creating this story in your head

0:20:24.800 --> 0:20:27.679
<v Speaker 2>where you think somebody's gonna like reveal some thing or

0:20:27.720 --> 0:20:29.480
<v Speaker 2>you're wondering a lot about it, and it's really not

0:20:29.520 --> 0:20:30.360
<v Speaker 2>that complicated.

0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:33.840
<v Speaker 5>I feel like for me, it's about connection, Like what

0:20:33.920 --> 0:20:37.040
<v Speaker 5>do we have in common? Like as disparate as we seem, like,

0:20:37.080 --> 0:20:38.960
<v Speaker 5>what is the thing that we can come together on?

0:20:39.200 --> 0:20:41.679
<v Speaker 5>And that is how I find gold?

0:20:42.000 --> 0:20:43.959
<v Speaker 3>And what's your background? So where did you grow up?

0:20:44.000 --> 0:20:44.800
<v Speaker 5>Massachusetts?

0:20:44.840 --> 0:20:45.240
<v Speaker 3>Okay?

0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:45.920
<v Speaker 5>Where are you from?

0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:49.000
<v Speaker 3>I'm from Jersey, Jersey's right, yeah? And you live in

0:20:49.119 --> 0:20:50.960
<v Speaker 3>la or New York, New York. Oh yeah, you know

0:20:51.000 --> 0:20:53.680
<v Speaker 3>you texted me about your chouse. Yah, yes, you get

0:20:53.680 --> 0:20:54.160
<v Speaker 3>your chouse.

0:20:54.240 --> 0:20:54.400
<v Speaker 2>Yes?

0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:56.719
<v Speaker 5>And he is so sweet, so cute. I dropped him

0:20:56.720 --> 0:20:57.639
<v Speaker 5>off at daycare today.

0:20:57.640 --> 0:20:59.320
<v Speaker 3>What color is he? Black? Oh?

0:20:59.320 --> 0:21:02.120
<v Speaker 5>I want a black He is so sweet. Oh, they're

0:21:02.200 --> 0:21:04.640
<v Speaker 5>so they're quiet and clean.

0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:05.280
<v Speaker 3>I know, you know what.

0:21:05.320 --> 0:21:07.880
<v Speaker 2>They don't bark and they don't fucking want anything. No,

0:21:08.080 --> 0:21:10.440
<v Speaker 2>don't you just love their faces in the way that.

0:21:10.400 --> 0:21:12.320
<v Speaker 3>They like it's really good? Yeah?

0:21:12.320 --> 0:21:14.399
<v Speaker 2>And then the lips that come down like I can't

0:21:14.680 --> 0:21:17.440
<v Speaker 2>control myself and I have a little one at home.

0:21:17.920 --> 0:21:18.879
<v Speaker 5>Oh, chow as well?

0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:22.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I only have chiws. Let me show you Bernice. Sorry,

0:21:22.280 --> 0:21:24.640
<v Speaker 2>I know that the listeners can't hear this, but it's.

0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:26.480
<v Speaker 5>Well they can see it on your social Can I

0:21:26.480 --> 0:21:28.720
<v Speaker 5>tell a story about chow chows as you search?

0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:30.520
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, but that's Bernice.

0:21:30.600 --> 0:21:32.919
<v Speaker 5>Oh my god god. Okay, so she's groomed, she's kinda cut,

0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:35.000
<v Speaker 5>short cut. Yeah, she's so sweet, hot is she?

0:21:35.000 --> 0:21:37.360
<v Speaker 3>She's like eleven or twelve. Her brother died last year.

0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:39.879
<v Speaker 2>And I like older dogs because I'm good at transitioning

0:21:39.920 --> 0:21:42.480
<v Speaker 2>them from that age to death, you know, like that's

0:21:42.520 --> 0:21:44.840
<v Speaker 2>my sweet spot. Like I want them to feel loved

0:21:44.960 --> 0:21:48.040
<v Speaker 2>and attention. And I also they're gonna No one's gonna

0:21:48.040 --> 0:21:50.560
<v Speaker 2>get a five year old dog. And usually when dogs

0:21:50.560 --> 0:21:52.359
<v Speaker 2>are around me for a few years, they tend to

0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:53.000
<v Speaker 2>pass away.

0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:53.840
<v Speaker 5>Wow.

0:21:54.440 --> 0:21:56.840
<v Speaker 2>Wow, my housekeeper like she has Bernice when I'm on

0:21:56.880 --> 0:22:00.760
<v Speaker 2>the road. So she is like only Spanish speaking now nice.

0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:03.119
<v Speaker 5>Oh that's so funny.

0:22:03.119 --> 0:22:05.239
<v Speaker 3>Spanish a little bit now to communicate with her.

0:22:05.280 --> 0:22:05.760
<v Speaker 5>I love that.

0:22:06.760 --> 0:22:08.200
<v Speaker 3>Okay, tell us your child story.

0:22:08.440 --> 0:22:10.520
<v Speaker 5>Oh well, my child story. This is not my personal chold,

0:22:10.560 --> 0:22:13.679
<v Speaker 5>but so the chow chow basically like in ancient China,

0:22:14.040 --> 0:22:17.000
<v Speaker 5>the emperor was like Okay, what dog can kill a bear?

0:22:17.280 --> 0:22:19.720
<v Speaker 5>And they brought them thirteen different dogs and he's like, okay,

0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:21.919
<v Speaker 5>this dog, chow Chow is the cutest, and so that

0:22:21.960 --> 0:22:24.480
<v Speaker 5>he made that the official child chow dog and he

0:22:24.600 --> 0:22:27.040
<v Speaker 5>had like three thousand and they would like hunt and

0:22:27.160 --> 0:22:28.879
<v Speaker 5>kill people and like be warriors.

0:22:28.880 --> 0:22:30.000
<v Speaker 3>The Chowchow, the chow chow.

0:22:30.080 --> 0:22:33.320
<v Speaker 5>Google that. Oh my fun fact, the real beautiful dogs

0:22:33.320 --> 0:22:34.160
<v Speaker 5>and their killers.

0:22:34.400 --> 0:22:36.200
<v Speaker 2>I I was going to rescue this other big fat

0:22:36.280 --> 0:22:38.920
<v Speaker 2>nugget that I found. Oh he was a big fat

0:22:39.160 --> 0:22:41.360
<v Speaker 2>chunky but he nipped at me twice. And the guy

0:22:41.359 --> 0:22:44.000
<v Speaker 2>said he's gonna nip at everyone he goes, that's his personality.

0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:45.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, well, that's not gonna work. I have too

0:22:45.880 --> 0:22:47.560
<v Speaker 2>many people coming through my house. I can't have him

0:22:47.600 --> 0:22:49.560
<v Speaker 2>biting everybody, because you know, somebody, I don't care if

0:22:49.560 --> 0:22:51.919
<v Speaker 2>a dog nips at me or bites me. Really, I

0:22:51.960 --> 0:22:54.199
<v Speaker 2>really don't unless it's like, you know, a lunatic and

0:22:54.240 --> 0:22:56.880
<v Speaker 2>it's like carving up my body. But I don't mind

0:22:56.920 --> 0:22:59.200
<v Speaker 2>a little bite. But most people get freaked out by that.

0:22:59.280 --> 0:23:01.240
<v Speaker 5>You know, I've I've never been bitten by a dog.

0:23:01.280 --> 0:23:02.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm gonna be honest, how did you get into chow

0:23:03.040 --> 0:23:06.960
<v Speaker 5>chouse beautiful like research and realizing that they were the

0:23:07.040 --> 0:23:11.359
<v Speaker 5>dog of Chinese emperors. I identify as an empress, so

0:23:11.359 --> 0:23:13.320
<v Speaker 5>so I decided that this was a dog for me.

0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:16.720
<v Speaker 5>I also honestly love the temperament of like quiet and clean,

0:23:16.840 --> 0:23:20.600
<v Speaker 5>like barking gives me an ageda and so it was

0:23:20.840 --> 0:23:24.120
<v Speaker 5>really something that I needed from my my roommate.

0:23:24.280 --> 0:23:28.560
<v Speaker 2>Well, fucking barking is so fucking annoying. People have dogs

0:23:28.560 --> 0:23:30.959
<v Speaker 2>at bark. I want those dogs to shut the fuck up,

0:23:31.000 --> 0:23:32.840
<v Speaker 2>and I want other things to happen to those dogs.

0:23:32.840 --> 0:23:33.080
<v Speaker 6>Do that.

0:23:33.119 --> 0:23:35.239
<v Speaker 2>I won't say no, no, I won't say it on

0:23:35.280 --> 0:23:38.040
<v Speaker 2>air because it's it's obviously not nice, but and I

0:23:38.040 --> 0:23:41.200
<v Speaker 2>don't mean it, but I just barking is so annoying

0:23:41.320 --> 0:23:43.280
<v Speaker 2>and it's just such a bad quality.

0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:43.679
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:23:44.080 --> 0:23:46.040
<v Speaker 5>I spend a lot of time with my dog, like

0:23:46.040 --> 0:23:48.200
<v Speaker 5>like I spent because I'm I write all the time,

0:23:48.320 --> 0:23:50.639
<v Speaker 5>so my dog and me writing, and so if my

0:23:50.720 --> 0:23:53.120
<v Speaker 5>dog was barking, I don't think I could get any

0:23:53.200 --> 0:23:56.440
<v Speaker 5>writing done. But dogs at bark. Hey, God bless you.

0:23:56.680 --> 0:23:57.479
<v Speaker 5>We love Peta.

0:23:58.000 --> 0:24:00.640
<v Speaker 2>I mean, Peta doesn't love me, Peter, will you fucking

0:24:00.720 --> 0:24:02.600
<v Speaker 2>And they asked the minute you do something wrong, they

0:24:02.600 --> 0:24:04.560
<v Speaker 2>will come back there. They act like they're your best friends.

0:24:04.560 --> 0:24:06.680
<v Speaker 2>When you rescue your dog and then they're like, ah,

0:24:06.720 --> 0:24:08.960
<v Speaker 2>we saw you on your playing with your dog to

0:24:09.280 --> 0:24:12.520
<v Speaker 2>whatever is that appropriate to fly a dog fourteen hours?

0:24:12.560 --> 0:24:13.639
<v Speaker 3>I'm like, back the fuck up.

0:24:13.680 --> 0:24:15.120
<v Speaker 5>Oh my gosh, I'm.

0:24:14.960 --> 0:24:17.920
<v Speaker 2>Like, listen, my dog and I are traveling together. Back

0:24:17.960 --> 0:24:20.879
<v Speaker 2>it up. So you grew up in Massachusetts, yes, and

0:24:20.920 --> 0:24:22.359
<v Speaker 2>then how many brothers and sisters do you do?

0:24:22.520 --> 0:24:25.800
<v Speaker 5>Siblings when older one younger they're both boys, okay, a girl,

0:24:25.840 --> 0:24:26.440
<v Speaker 5>a middle child.

0:24:26.440 --> 0:24:29.240
<v Speaker 3>Okay, so you're a middle child. That doesn't really track.

0:24:29.600 --> 0:24:31.080
<v Speaker 5>What do you mean because usually.

0:24:30.840 --> 0:24:34.199
<v Speaker 2>It's the youngest of siblings that are in this business really,

0:24:34.400 --> 0:24:36.399
<v Speaker 2>especially in the role that you play, Because like, for

0:24:36.480 --> 0:24:38.960
<v Speaker 2>people who haven't seen your show on Showtime, I want

0:24:39.040 --> 0:24:40.639
<v Speaker 2>you to describe what the premise is.

0:24:41.359 --> 0:24:44.359
<v Speaker 5>The premise of my show is that I interview guests

0:24:44.560 --> 0:24:47.360
<v Speaker 5>and I bait them into saying uncomfortable things. And it's

0:24:47.400 --> 0:24:50.640
<v Speaker 5>pulled from this like this hardened trope that we see

0:24:50.640 --> 0:24:53.600
<v Speaker 5>in like Fox News where they would talk to like

0:24:53.640 --> 0:24:57.200
<v Speaker 5>Barack Obama and accuse him of wearing a tan suit

0:24:57.240 --> 0:24:59.600
<v Speaker 5>and how that was to the destruction of democracy and

0:24:59.640 --> 0:25:03.199
<v Speaker 5>similar I kind of take my guests at their worst

0:25:03.240 --> 0:25:06.120
<v Speaker 5>word possible and exploit that for comedic.

0:25:05.800 --> 0:25:07.560
<v Speaker 2>Relief, and then how does that work out for the

0:25:07.600 --> 0:25:09.840
<v Speaker 2>guest comedically?

0:25:10.240 --> 0:25:10.640
<v Speaker 3>Does it?

0:25:10.640 --> 0:25:12.920
<v Speaker 5>It's I mean, yes, it's chaotic, it's funny, but every

0:25:12.960 --> 0:25:15.560
<v Speaker 5>guest is like a consenting adult. They know what's they know,

0:25:15.600 --> 0:25:19.040
<v Speaker 5>they're briefed entirely on what's going to happen. And the

0:25:19.040 --> 0:25:20.560
<v Speaker 5>people who do the best on the shows are the

0:25:20.560 --> 0:25:23.320
<v Speaker 5>ones who sort of surrender to that chaos and like

0:25:23.320 --> 0:25:24.399
<v Speaker 5>like double down on it.

0:25:24.640 --> 0:25:27.359
<v Speaker 3>Yeah. I like that format. It's very new. Thank you

0:25:27.520 --> 0:25:28.280
<v Speaker 3>and original.

0:25:28.480 --> 0:25:30.800
<v Speaker 5>Thank you. Yeah, I mean, I you know, I never

0:25:30.800 --> 0:25:33.400
<v Speaker 5>thought I would say Tucker Callson inspired me, but here

0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:33.720
<v Speaker 5>I am.

0:25:33.880 --> 0:25:37.560
<v Speaker 3>I know he is such an inspiration. Let's talk about

0:25:37.600 --> 0:25:40.680
<v Speaker 3>your book a little. You wrote essays. Yes, I read

0:25:40.720 --> 0:25:42.680
<v Speaker 3>that you didn't want them to be too personal.

0:25:42.840 --> 0:25:44.159
<v Speaker 5>I mean, who wants to share anything?

0:25:44.200 --> 0:25:44.320
<v Speaker 3>Well?

0:25:44.359 --> 0:25:47.080
<v Speaker 5>You actually have? You?

0:25:47.080 --> 0:25:47.199
<v Speaker 1>You?

0:25:47.359 --> 0:25:50.160
<v Speaker 5>I mean you've wrote written five or six Yeah, you've

0:25:50.160 --> 0:25:52.640
<v Speaker 5>written a lot of books. I don't even know if

0:25:52.640 --> 0:25:53.920
<v Speaker 5>I have that many stories.

0:25:54.000 --> 0:25:54.280
<v Speaker 3>You do.

0:25:54.640 --> 0:25:56.520
<v Speaker 5>I do, but I don't think i'd ever share them.

0:25:56.880 --> 0:25:59.680
<v Speaker 5>But I respect that. I respect that honestly, it's really

0:25:59.720 --> 0:26:02.760
<v Speaker 5>chic culturally Nigerians. It's like, why share any of your

0:26:02.760 --> 0:26:06.720
<v Speaker 5>business when you could simply not. So that is where

0:26:06.760 --> 0:26:09.320
<v Speaker 5>I'm coming from. But my book was due. I did

0:26:09.400 --> 0:26:12.080
<v Speaker 5>sell it, and so I had to finish it, and

0:26:12.240 --> 0:26:14.840
<v Speaker 5>I didn't want to give back the advance because there

0:26:14.880 --> 0:26:17.280
<v Speaker 5>was a strike going on with the writers and the actors.

0:26:17.480 --> 0:26:19.520
<v Speaker 3>Did you think about giving back the advanced hundred times?

0:26:19.800 --> 0:26:20.679
<v Speaker 3>You didn't want to write it?

0:26:20.880 --> 0:26:23.240
<v Speaker 5>No, I wrote it. I wrote it very quickly, and

0:26:23.480 --> 0:26:26.600
<v Speaker 5>I didn't want to release it into the world. Oh yeah,

0:26:26.600 --> 0:26:28.360
<v Speaker 5>I wrote it. I mean I'm a writer like that

0:26:28.560 --> 0:26:30.880
<v Speaker 5>is the easy part. It's the idea that people are

0:26:30.920 --> 0:26:32.000
<v Speaker 5>going to perceive me.

0:26:32.119 --> 0:26:33.200
<v Speaker 3>That is very Nigerian.

0:26:33.400 --> 0:26:34.439
<v Speaker 5>Yes, shout out Nigel.

0:26:35.400 --> 0:26:38.960
<v Speaker 2>So you were resistant to releasing it because you were

0:26:39.040 --> 0:26:41.159
<v Speaker 2>exposing a part of your life that you wanted to

0:26:41.240 --> 0:26:41.720
<v Speaker 2>keep private.

0:26:41.760 --> 0:26:43.919
<v Speaker 5>I was exposing any part of my life. Yeah. I mean,

0:26:44.000 --> 0:26:45.960
<v Speaker 5>I'm lucky enough that when I interview I get to

0:26:46.480 --> 0:26:49.800
<v Speaker 5>hide behind the artifice of a character. Right, so's she's

0:26:49.840 --> 0:26:52.359
<v Speaker 5>being devilish, not me. I'm the good guy. I'm the friend.

0:26:52.359 --> 0:26:54.679
<v Speaker 5>I'm the kind hearted woman. And so when you have

0:26:54.840 --> 0:26:57.600
<v Speaker 5>a book, you can't hide behind two hundred plus pages,

0:26:57.680 --> 0:27:01.040
<v Speaker 5>you have to say something of value, and so finding

0:27:01.040 --> 0:27:03.360
<v Speaker 5>out what I said that was of note and what

0:27:03.440 --> 0:27:06.399
<v Speaker 5>to share about myself that is worth my reader's time

0:27:06.920 --> 0:27:08.720
<v Speaker 5>is something that I really toiled with.

0:27:09.040 --> 0:27:11.320
<v Speaker 3>M Yeah, and then how did you feel about that?

0:27:11.400 --> 0:27:13.199
<v Speaker 2>Once the book was out and you got the reception

0:27:13.280 --> 0:27:14.639
<v Speaker 2>that you did, how did you feel did you your

0:27:14.680 --> 0:27:15.560
<v Speaker 2>feelings change at all?

0:27:15.600 --> 0:27:17.679
<v Speaker 5>Of course? I mean I was called a genius, so

0:27:17.720 --> 0:27:21.000
<v Speaker 5>it's like, yeah, I'm just dabbing, dabbing through New York City.

0:27:21.280 --> 0:27:24.160
<v Speaker 5>I mean it's a sense of relief right that anyone

0:27:24.200 --> 0:27:26.840
<v Speaker 5>can could connect to any one of my stories, because

0:27:26.840 --> 0:27:29.160
<v Speaker 5>that was my fear that I was like writing into

0:27:29.200 --> 0:27:32.040
<v Speaker 5>a vacuum. So I'm really appreciative for sure.

0:27:32.520 --> 0:27:32.800
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:27:32.880 --> 0:27:34.959
<v Speaker 2>I read one of them that we talked about your

0:27:35.000 --> 0:27:37.439
<v Speaker 2>walk You're walking in the woods, and we mended and

0:27:37.520 --> 0:27:39.400
<v Speaker 2>this guy, this white guy, pulled over.

0:27:39.760 --> 0:27:41.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and well you tell the story.

0:27:41.880 --> 0:27:44.760
<v Speaker 5>I mean, the story is so deeply creepy. So I went,

0:27:44.880 --> 0:27:47.560
<v Speaker 5>I go, I have to write in silence, and that's

0:27:47.600 --> 0:27:49.800
<v Speaker 5>why I have a very quiet dog. And so I

0:27:49.840 --> 0:27:52.080
<v Speaker 5>also liked to go to the woods of upstate New

0:27:52.160 --> 0:27:54.959
<v Speaker 5>York to write, and so I would hike up this

0:27:55.000 --> 0:27:58.840
<v Speaker 5>trailer at this place airbnbid, and every day we'd hike

0:27:58.880 --> 0:28:01.080
<v Speaker 5>with friends and the only time we ever encountered people

0:28:01.119 --> 0:28:04.400
<v Speaker 5>were like desperate census workers being like, please please fill

0:28:04.400 --> 0:28:06.360
<v Speaker 5>out the senses. We need to know who's living here,

0:28:06.400 --> 0:28:10.400
<v Speaker 5>and we tell them, sorry, Airbnb destabilizing. And so one

0:28:10.480 --> 0:28:12.840
<v Speaker 5>day this I'm walking the trail by myself. My friend

0:28:12.840 --> 0:28:14.520
<v Speaker 5>had just left and my other friend was coming in

0:28:14.520 --> 0:28:17.000
<v Speaker 5>the next day, and this super ru pulls up beside

0:28:17.080 --> 0:28:19.359
<v Speaker 5>me and I think, oh, hey, it's not I'm not

0:28:19.400 --> 0:28:22.080
<v Speaker 5>on the census. It's okay. And he's like, what are

0:28:22.119 --> 0:28:26.919
<v Speaker 5>you doing here? And I'm confused, like walking, and he's like,

0:28:26.920 --> 0:28:29.040
<v Speaker 5>you know you're not supposed to be here. I own

0:28:29.080 --> 0:28:33.439
<v Speaker 5>this property. You're trespassing. I'm like, oh, you own this property. Well,

0:28:33.440 --> 0:28:36.000
<v Speaker 5>thank you for having me at your beautiful airbnb. It's

0:28:36.000 --> 0:28:38.280
<v Speaker 5>so nice. I love the pool. Oh so you're staying

0:28:38.280 --> 0:28:41.560
<v Speaker 5>at the airbnb. So I realized he was lying, and

0:28:41.640 --> 0:28:44.600
<v Speaker 5>suddenly my heart skipped a be because now I'm alone

0:28:44.680 --> 0:28:46.600
<v Speaker 5>in the woods with a man who is a liar.

0:28:47.040 --> 0:28:49.720
<v Speaker 5>And so I'm thinking, like Jason bournstyle, I'm thinking like, oh,

0:28:49.720 --> 0:28:52.479
<v Speaker 5>should I calculate, like how fast can I run what

0:28:52.560 --> 0:28:55.040
<v Speaker 5>should I do? And he keeps asking me, what's your name?

0:28:55.040 --> 0:28:56.280
<v Speaker 5>What's your name? What's your name? And this was like

0:28:56.360 --> 0:28:58.120
<v Speaker 5>right at the time when I was starting to like

0:28:58.240 --> 0:29:00.800
<v Speaker 5>become more prominent, and so I'm like afraid to say

0:29:00.840 --> 0:29:02.920
<v Speaker 5>my name, Like what does he have? This is like

0:29:03.000 --> 0:29:05.560
<v Speaker 5>during the like twenty twenty summer where everything was so

0:29:05.840 --> 0:29:08.920
<v Speaker 5>politically fraught. And I noticed that there's a blonde woman

0:29:08.960 --> 0:29:11.400
<v Speaker 5>next to him and she's saying like, it's okay, it's okay,

0:29:11.480 --> 0:29:15.120
<v Speaker 5>justin It's okay, and I'm like, I'm just walking and

0:29:15.280 --> 0:29:17.280
<v Speaker 5>you have to understand, like it's really weird for me

0:29:17.560 --> 0:29:19.680
<v Speaker 5>to like tell you my name in the woods, like

0:29:19.720 --> 0:29:22.080
<v Speaker 5>I'm alone, I'm in a like a purple fur hat,

0:29:22.120 --> 0:29:25.440
<v Speaker 5>Like this is strange, and she keeps insisting that it's okay,

0:29:25.480 --> 0:29:28.440
<v Speaker 5>and he's like, don't worry, I understand. Like the political crimate.

0:29:28.480 --> 0:29:30.480
<v Speaker 5>We have a black friend in the back, but in

0:29:30.520 --> 0:29:33.800
<v Speaker 5>the super room dead as dead as it's so creepy,

0:29:33.840 --> 0:29:36.680
<v Speaker 5>dead ass. But the windows are up, so all I

0:29:36.800 --> 0:29:40.040
<v Speaker 5>see is my reflection and I'm thinking, oh my god,

0:29:40.400 --> 0:29:42.960
<v Speaker 5>when do I run, Like the tinted windows are who

0:29:42.960 --> 0:29:44.400
<v Speaker 5>else is in the back of this car? Like, am

0:29:44.440 --> 0:29:47.840
<v Speaker 5>I going to be murdered for this Jordan Peel fantasy?

0:29:48.360 --> 0:29:52.160
<v Speaker 5>And I say I would say hi to the black

0:29:52.200 --> 0:29:55.000
<v Speaker 5>friend in the back, but I can't see them. And

0:29:55.040 --> 0:29:59.040
<v Speaker 5>then the two the couple starts arguing and I'm like

0:29:59.120 --> 0:30:01.320
<v Speaker 5>this should be chance, like I should run right now.

0:30:01.600 --> 0:30:04.800
<v Speaker 5>And then they slowly roll down the back window and

0:30:04.840 --> 0:30:10.120
<v Speaker 5>it's this emaciated little black girl and she's sitting forward

0:30:10.200 --> 0:30:14.480
<v Speaker 5>like this and it's so still, and I say hi.

0:30:15.240 --> 0:30:18.200
<v Speaker 5>They're like hi. I'm like I love to go swimming

0:30:18.240 --> 0:30:19.720
<v Speaker 5>at that pool. They're like, oh, she loves to go

0:30:19.760 --> 0:30:22.240
<v Speaker 5>swimming at that pool that you're staying at. I'm like, yeah,

0:30:22.240 --> 0:30:25.480
<v Speaker 5>I would go swimming more, but it's cold, and they

0:30:25.480 --> 0:30:27.840
<v Speaker 5>were like, yeah, it is cold. And that was the

0:30:27.880 --> 0:30:29.920
<v Speaker 5>first moment when they realized like, oh, we have a

0:30:29.960 --> 0:30:33.800
<v Speaker 5>shared humanity, like we can agree that it is cold

0:30:34.000 --> 0:30:36.680
<v Speaker 5>too cold to swim. And then the little girl who's

0:30:36.720 --> 0:30:41.160
<v Speaker 5>facing forward just turns and screams lucky. And I jump,

0:30:41.560 --> 0:30:44.200
<v Speaker 5>like I was not expecting such like a low tambra

0:30:44.320 --> 0:30:46.160
<v Speaker 5>to come out of like this like nine year old

0:30:46.200 --> 0:30:50.479
<v Speaker 5>tiny girl. And I go, yeah, I guess I am lucky.

0:30:50.760 --> 0:30:53.960
<v Speaker 5>I guess I am lucky, and then this guy justin goes, hey,

0:30:54.000 --> 0:30:55.600
<v Speaker 5>just so you know, the set of the woods you're

0:30:55.600 --> 0:30:57.560
<v Speaker 5>staying on is on this side. The side you're on

0:30:57.640 --> 0:31:00.880
<v Speaker 5>is belongs to Elliot Spitzer. I'm like, Ellie Spitzer, I

0:31:00.880 --> 0:31:02.760
<v Speaker 5>don't even what the like, I know that name, but

0:31:02.760 --> 0:31:04.760
<v Speaker 5>I don't remember. Sorry. I'm like, okay, thanks. They're like

0:31:04.840 --> 0:31:06.960
<v Speaker 5>just so you know, okay, thanks, okay, bye, thanks, and

0:31:07.000 --> 0:31:08.680
<v Speaker 5>they drive up the hill and the little girl does

0:31:08.720 --> 0:31:10.680
<v Speaker 5>not break eye contact with me until they're over there.

0:31:11.400 --> 0:31:13.480
<v Speaker 5>I run back to the Airbnb at Google Elliot Spitzer.

0:31:13.520 --> 0:31:15.400
<v Speaker 5>I'm like, oh, like if I was caught in the

0:31:15.440 --> 0:31:19.280
<v Speaker 5>woods with him, I would be I would be worried.

0:31:19.640 --> 0:31:22.080
<v Speaker 5>And then you know, you Airbnb, you have to clean

0:31:22.080 --> 0:31:23.960
<v Speaker 5>the place whatever. It's super expensive four hundred all your

0:31:23.960 --> 0:31:25.920
<v Speaker 5>cleaning that you're still cleaning it whatever, And so I

0:31:26.320 --> 0:31:29.200
<v Speaker 5>like comment on the Airbnb like, oh, had a lovely time.

0:31:29.200 --> 0:31:31.680
<v Speaker 5>It's such a beautiful place. Just so you guys know,

0:31:32.200 --> 0:31:34.520
<v Speaker 5>like I did have this get out experience. I do

0:31:34.600 --> 0:31:39.200
<v Speaker 5>not judge the host, however, don't hike alone. And then

0:31:39.400 --> 0:31:43.280
<v Speaker 5>the host texts me and he says, it's so weird

0:31:43.560 --> 0:31:46.360
<v Speaker 5>that you said you had that experience, Like, who is

0:31:46.400 --> 0:31:47.760
<v Speaker 5>that guy he said, And I'm like, oh, he said

0:31:47.800 --> 0:31:50.640
<v Speaker 5>he was your neighbor. He's like, oh, that's not my neighbor.

0:31:51.600 --> 0:31:52.840
<v Speaker 5>And that was the end of that story.

0:31:53.560 --> 0:31:56.680
<v Speaker 3>Ah. So you think that little girl was there to

0:31:56.680 --> 0:32:00.560
<v Speaker 3>adopt a daughter. It seems like how old was she?

0:32:00.560 --> 0:32:01.280
<v Speaker 3>She was nine?

0:32:01.840 --> 0:32:04.160
<v Speaker 5>She was like a young kid, she was nine or

0:32:04.160 --> 0:32:08.320
<v Speaker 5>maybe seven, but tall. But but but he wasn't a neighbor.

0:32:08.360 --> 0:32:09.320
<v Speaker 5>He was just a stranger.

0:32:09.440 --> 0:32:10.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I love it.

0:32:10.240 --> 0:32:12.719
<v Speaker 2>I love that people just want to get involved in

0:32:13.000 --> 0:32:16.040
<v Speaker 2>fucking shit that has nothing to do with them. I mean,

0:32:16.440 --> 0:32:20.040
<v Speaker 2>who would care about anyone walking down the fucking street

0:32:20.040 --> 0:32:20.360
<v Speaker 2>and why.

0:32:20.240 --> 0:32:21.560
<v Speaker 3>Would you ever get involved in them?

0:32:21.840 --> 0:32:24.239
<v Speaker 5>Like imagine, like what do you do? It was one

0:32:24.360 --> 0:32:27.120
<v Speaker 5>hundred acres and there is nothing I was disturbing other

0:32:27.280 --> 0:32:31.320
<v Speaker 5>than like leaves, dried leaves, and so that he elected

0:32:31.360 --> 0:32:32.160
<v Speaker 5>himself as.

0:32:32.320 --> 0:32:36.720
<v Speaker 3>Mayor of the woods. Unwell, I know, and I do

0:32:36.760 --> 0:32:36.920
<v Speaker 3>you know.

0:32:36.960 --> 0:32:38.600
<v Speaker 2>I hate when I hear that there's a woman with

0:32:38.680 --> 0:32:41.200
<v Speaker 2>them that just sits there and like, lets that go on, Yeah,

0:32:41.320 --> 0:32:42.800
<v Speaker 2>why do you why are you letting your husband act

0:32:42.840 --> 0:32:44.000
<v Speaker 2>like such a fucking asshole.

0:32:44.040 --> 0:32:45.960
<v Speaker 5>I know she knew enough that she knew what he

0:32:46.000 --> 0:32:48.920
<v Speaker 5>was doing was bad or not enough to stop him.

0:32:48.960 --> 0:32:49.520
<v Speaker 3>They say something.

0:32:49.600 --> 0:32:51.280
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, all right, well we're gonna take a quick break

0:32:51.320 --> 0:32:52.600
<v Speaker 2>and we're going to come back and give advice.

0:32:52.640 --> 0:32:53.640
<v Speaker 3>Okay, are you ready for that?

0:32:53.800 --> 0:32:54.360
<v Speaker 5>Yes? Please?

0:32:58.440 --> 0:33:02.280
<v Speaker 3>Okay, we're back. We're back. What do we have in

0:33:02.280 --> 0:33:04.000
<v Speaker 3>store for z Way today, Catherine.

0:33:04.040 --> 0:33:05.959
<v Speaker 1>We've got a lot of stuff. We've got a question

0:33:06.000 --> 0:33:09.960
<v Speaker 1>about porn, We've got a dating art question.

0:33:10.160 --> 0:33:13.720
<v Speaker 3>Okay, great, let's start with porn. Okay, do you watch

0:33:13.760 --> 0:33:14.360
<v Speaker 3>a lot of porn?

0:33:14.520 --> 0:33:14.920
<v Speaker 5>No?

0:33:14.920 --> 0:33:19.120
<v Speaker 1>No, This comes from Tina. Tina says, dear Chelsea. I'm

0:33:19.120 --> 0:33:21.000
<v Speaker 1>in my mid forties and my husband is a few

0:33:21.040 --> 0:33:23.920
<v Speaker 1>years older, closer to fifty. We've been married since we

0:33:23.920 --> 0:33:26.040
<v Speaker 1>were in our early twenties and have two daughters who

0:33:26.080 --> 0:33:29.000
<v Speaker 1>are now in their early twenties. I'm finding the aging

0:33:29.080 --> 0:33:33.440
<v Speaker 1>process to be brutal. I want you, yeah, I want

0:33:33.520 --> 0:33:36.240
<v Speaker 1>to embrace it and still feel beautiful and desirable, but

0:33:36.280 --> 0:33:38.400
<v Speaker 1>I generally don't. I look in the mirror and I

0:33:38.400 --> 0:33:42.280
<v Speaker 1>see someone with what feels like rapidly sagging skin, wrinkles,

0:33:42.320 --> 0:33:45.120
<v Speaker 1>and gray hair, and it's all such a bummer. I

0:33:45.160 --> 0:33:47.360
<v Speaker 1>find it completely unfair that men are not held to

0:33:47.400 --> 0:33:50.720
<v Speaker 1>the same standard as women. I recently started therapy for

0:33:50.760 --> 0:33:52.720
<v Speaker 1>the first time. But there's one topic I don't want

0:33:52.760 --> 0:33:55.200
<v Speaker 1>to bring up with my therapist, and that is porn.

0:33:55.960 --> 0:33:58.320
<v Speaker 1>When we were younger, my husband and I watched porn

0:33:58.360 --> 0:34:01.200
<v Speaker 1>together occasionally, and it was fun. As we got older

0:34:01.240 --> 0:34:03.360
<v Speaker 1>and had kids in the house, that's kind of faded away,

0:34:03.440 --> 0:34:06.040
<v Speaker 1>but we've still had a very active sex life over

0:34:06.040 --> 0:34:08.359
<v Speaker 1>the years. I've known that he still watches porn, and

0:34:08.400 --> 0:34:10.520
<v Speaker 1>now that it's so easily accessible on our phones, I'm

0:34:10.560 --> 0:34:13.920
<v Speaker 1>pretty sure he watches it very frequently. I know this

0:34:14.000 --> 0:34:16.480
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't bother me, but as I'm getting older and so

0:34:16.600 --> 0:34:20.320
<v Speaker 1>are our kids, I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable because the females

0:34:20.320 --> 0:34:22.560
<v Speaker 1>in the porn are now the same age as our children,

0:34:22.840 --> 0:34:24.360
<v Speaker 1>and it feels a little creepy to me.

0:34:24.440 --> 0:34:24.640
<v Speaker 5>Now.

0:34:25.280 --> 0:34:28.040
<v Speaker 1>Of course, they don't make much porn with women our age,

0:34:28.040 --> 0:34:30.239
<v Speaker 1>and if they do, I'm sure that porn with women

0:34:30.280 --> 0:34:32.239
<v Speaker 1>in their early twenties would be more appealing to him

0:34:32.320 --> 0:34:35.800
<v Speaker 1>than most men anyway. So my question is, do you

0:34:35.800 --> 0:34:38.280
<v Speaker 1>think there comes a point when aging men watching porn

0:34:38.320 --> 0:34:41.279
<v Speaker 1>with much younger women gets inappropriate? Do I just have

0:34:41.360 --> 0:34:43.839
<v Speaker 1>to accept this fact even though we're both very much

0:34:43.880 --> 0:34:46.279
<v Speaker 1>aging and he's always going to be attracted to young

0:34:46.320 --> 0:34:49.600
<v Speaker 1>women and accept that as normal and not creepy. Anyway,

0:34:49.719 --> 0:34:51.880
<v Speaker 1>love your show, look forward to hearing your opinions.

0:34:52.000 --> 0:34:57.840
<v Speaker 2>Tina, Wow, well Tina right, Tina, Yeah wow, well z

0:34:57.840 --> 0:34:58.880
<v Speaker 2>e Way, what do you think?

0:34:59.160 --> 0:35:02.279
<v Speaker 5>That question makes me sad? So the reason why I

0:35:02.280 --> 0:35:04.680
<v Speaker 5>don't watch a lot of porn is because I get

0:35:04.960 --> 0:35:07.520
<v Speaker 5>learn TV right, so I get caught up in the

0:35:07.560 --> 0:35:10.240
<v Speaker 5>ethics of it. I'm like, is it a safe set?

0:35:10.440 --> 0:35:14.440
<v Speaker 5>I start to unravel the actual production of it, and

0:35:14.480 --> 0:35:16.799
<v Speaker 5>so that I can't I can't get off if I

0:35:16.840 --> 0:35:21.480
<v Speaker 5>know my girlies aren't getting put on and so so.

0:35:21.840 --> 0:35:24.319
<v Speaker 5>For So, if the question is isn't it inappropriate for

0:35:24.400 --> 0:35:27.920
<v Speaker 5>her man to watch porn with young women, I'm going

0:35:27.960 --> 0:35:30.279
<v Speaker 5>to say yes, but not because of what you think.

0:35:30.320 --> 0:35:32.319
<v Speaker 5>It's because of the ethics of how they shoot it.

0:35:32.920 --> 0:35:35.040
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so you're getting into a different area.

0:35:35.360 --> 0:35:39.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I would say with regard to her husband, it

0:35:39.480 --> 0:35:42.560
<v Speaker 2>is creepy when your husband when when the porn actors, like,

0:35:42.640 --> 0:35:44.600
<v Speaker 2>I think that's a very valid point to bring up

0:35:44.600 --> 0:35:47.399
<v Speaker 2>to your husband. Yeah, like you're gonna want you want

0:35:47.400 --> 0:35:50.120
<v Speaker 2>to watch porn? Fine, your you know that's what you're into.

0:35:50.160 --> 0:35:52.799
<v Speaker 2>That's fine, but there is an issue like if the

0:35:52.840 --> 0:35:57.120
<v Speaker 2>porn actors are their daughter's age, like that is disgusting.

0:35:57.160 --> 0:35:59.600
<v Speaker 2>There is something very creepy about that, and that's reasonable

0:35:59.640 --> 0:36:02.680
<v Speaker 2>too conveyed to the husband like it is I think.

0:36:02.719 --> 0:36:06.239
<v Speaker 5>So, I don't know, can you police people's desire or I.

0:36:06.160 --> 0:36:08.480
<v Speaker 3>Mean, if they respect you and say and you say, hey,

0:36:08.480 --> 0:36:10.040
<v Speaker 3>this really bothers me, Like I don't.

0:36:10.080 --> 0:36:12.280
<v Speaker 2>I mean, I understand you like porn, but these girls

0:36:12.280 --> 0:36:15.120
<v Speaker 2>are so young, and like I'm aging, I don't feel great.

0:36:15.200 --> 0:36:16.400
<v Speaker 3>I feel like you'd rather.

0:36:16.239 --> 0:36:19.440
<v Speaker 2>You're more attracted to that, which is nothing I can change,

0:36:19.640 --> 0:36:21.160
<v Speaker 2>but I'd rather you wouldn't.

0:36:21.200 --> 0:36:22.040
<v Speaker 3>You know there's a couple of.

0:36:22.040 --> 0:36:23.520
<v Speaker 5>Reasons watch milk porn instead.

0:36:23.960 --> 0:36:26.640
<v Speaker 2>Yeah there's I'm sure there is milk. Yeah, I'm sure

0:36:26.640 --> 0:36:28.839
<v Speaker 2>there is. I think I've seen that. But I think

0:36:28.880 --> 0:36:31.440
<v Speaker 2>you totally have to say something just because it's like

0:36:31.800 --> 0:36:33.840
<v Speaker 2>self preservation. You have a good sex life, you it

0:36:33.880 --> 0:36:35.799
<v Speaker 2>seem like you have a good relationship, you've been together

0:36:35.840 --> 0:36:38.239
<v Speaker 2>for many years. Fucking just say this doesn't make me

0:36:38.239 --> 0:36:40.000
<v Speaker 2>feel good. I mean, he's gonna watch it anyway, and

0:36:40.040 --> 0:36:41.200
<v Speaker 2>he's just going to hide it more.

0:36:41.560 --> 0:36:43.360
<v Speaker 5>But so is that a resolution? If he hides. So

0:36:43.480 --> 0:36:44.240
<v Speaker 5>that's not a resolution.

0:36:44.400 --> 0:36:46.600
<v Speaker 2>No, it's not a resolution. Well it could be because

0:36:46.600 --> 0:36:47.719
<v Speaker 2>I mean, let's say maybe.

0:36:47.520 --> 0:36:48.960
<v Speaker 5>He he doesn't ignorance his bliss.

0:36:49.000 --> 0:36:51.160
<v Speaker 2>Well no, no, no, no, I'm saying maybe he will

0:36:51.200 --> 0:36:54.080
<v Speaker 2>listen to her and take that into consideration and go, okay,

0:36:54.480 --> 0:36:57.600
<v Speaker 2>be sensitive about watching it or maybe watch less of it,

0:36:57.719 --> 0:37:00.319
<v Speaker 2>or at least she's even if he ignores it and

0:37:00.480 --> 0:37:02.880
<v Speaker 2>just sneaks it more and make sure it's more discreet

0:37:02.880 --> 0:37:06.080
<v Speaker 2>about it he is, at least she's getting it off

0:37:06.080 --> 0:37:08.240
<v Speaker 2>of her chest and saying it. Like, I think bottling

0:37:08.280 --> 0:37:10.799
<v Speaker 2>that stuff up is like that adds to you know,

0:37:11.400 --> 0:37:12.920
<v Speaker 2>you're feeling bad about aging.

0:37:13.000 --> 0:37:13.400
<v Speaker 5>I agree.

0:37:13.440 --> 0:37:15.800
<v Speaker 2>And secondly, I just want to make a comment about aging,

0:37:15.880 --> 0:37:18.160
<v Speaker 2>Like obviously you know I have access to all sorts

0:37:18.160 --> 0:37:21.080
<v Speaker 2>of things that help me anti age, but there is

0:37:21.120 --> 0:37:23.200
<v Speaker 2>something very like when you look in the mirror and

0:37:23.280 --> 0:37:25.279
<v Speaker 2>you say, I don't I don't like looking at the

0:37:25.400 --> 0:37:28.360
<v Speaker 2>saggy skin and everything, like those things have an impact

0:37:28.360 --> 0:37:30.879
<v Speaker 2>on your well being, Like you know you have had

0:37:30.880 --> 0:37:32.880
<v Speaker 2>a long like it sounds like a healthy life, a

0:37:32.920 --> 0:37:35.200
<v Speaker 2>healthy marriage, healthy kids, Like there's a lot to be

0:37:35.239 --> 0:37:37.040
<v Speaker 2>proud of and there's yeah, there is a lot of

0:37:37.040 --> 0:37:39.839
<v Speaker 2>elegance that comes with naturally aging. Like I look at

0:37:39.840 --> 0:37:42.040
<v Speaker 2>people that naturally age a lot and think I wish

0:37:42.160 --> 0:37:44.680
<v Speaker 2>I were more you know, natural about it.

0:37:44.920 --> 0:37:48.360
<v Speaker 5>I believe in natural aging, but I think everyone is

0:37:48.480 --> 0:37:50.160
<v Speaker 5>entitled to do what they want with your body.

0:37:50.239 --> 0:37:50.600
<v Speaker 3>Who cares?

0:37:50.640 --> 0:37:53.640
<v Speaker 5>Who am I to judge? But to your point, there's

0:37:53.680 --> 0:37:55.520
<v Speaker 5>so much to be Like the wrinkles that you have

0:37:55.800 --> 0:37:58.520
<v Speaker 5>are a reflection of a life long lived, and like

0:37:58.560 --> 0:38:01.000
<v Speaker 5>they are a reflection of like a beautiful family. As

0:38:01.040 --> 0:38:02.600
<v Speaker 5>you just said, you have a beautiful husband, and you

0:38:02.640 --> 0:38:06.120
<v Speaker 5>have such a great like conversation and community, and that

0:38:06.280 --> 0:38:08.239
<v Speaker 5>is something to be proud of. Like, who do I

0:38:08.280 --> 0:38:10.520
<v Speaker 5>want to age and die? No, but it means that

0:38:10.600 --> 0:38:13.520
<v Speaker 5>I'm lucky enough. I'd rather be old and die than

0:38:13.600 --> 0:38:16.600
<v Speaker 5>die young. So I think that it's a privilege. Yeah,

0:38:16.840 --> 0:38:18.560
<v Speaker 5>but it's hard for me to say that because I'm

0:38:18.600 --> 0:38:19.680
<v Speaker 5>like nineteen.

0:38:19.800 --> 0:38:21.440
<v Speaker 3>Well it's ours.

0:38:21.920 --> 0:38:26.200
<v Speaker 5>You're not nineteen goo googga nineteen Chelsea, No, you're not.

0:38:26.360 --> 0:38:27.960
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I am, you're nineteen years.

0:38:27.920 --> 0:38:29.839
<v Speaker 5>I was born in two thousand and three.

0:38:30.080 --> 0:38:35.280
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, I didn't know you were ninety woah, wow, Wow.

0:38:36.800 --> 0:38:40.640
<v Speaker 2>You have a lot of stuff happening at nineteen. You

0:38:40.680 --> 0:38:41.960
<v Speaker 2>haven't seen anything yet.

0:38:42.080 --> 0:38:43.960
<v Speaker 5>No, not even the bottom of a beer.

0:38:44.480 --> 0:38:47.759
<v Speaker 3>Really, you never had a drink. No, Nigerians don't like that.

0:38:47.920 --> 0:38:48.800
<v Speaker 3>They don't like to drink.

0:38:49.160 --> 0:38:50.360
<v Speaker 5>Who have you dated in Nigerian?

0:38:50.360 --> 0:38:52.640
<v Speaker 2>You don't want manager in my best friend's marriage, I

0:38:52.680 --> 0:38:53.920
<v Speaker 2>mean my old best friend.

0:38:53.960 --> 0:38:55.680
<v Speaker 3>Oh no, we're not No, we're still friends.

0:38:55.719 --> 0:39:00.399
<v Speaker 2>Okay was her husband and they are just like yeah,

0:39:00.560 --> 0:39:04.920
<v Speaker 2>no drinking, very very bright. They're all doctors and lawyers

0:39:05.239 --> 0:39:07.319
<v Speaker 2>because there are no other choices. You have to be

0:39:07.360 --> 0:39:09.840
<v Speaker 2>a doctor or lawyer and successful when you're a Nigerian.

0:39:10.160 --> 0:39:11.680
<v Speaker 3>There's no room for any failure.

0:39:11.760 --> 0:39:14.160
<v Speaker 5>It's like Tuck Across and Peers Morgan doctor lawyer. It's

0:39:14.200 --> 0:39:15.800
<v Speaker 5>like that same scenario exactly.

0:39:16.160 --> 0:39:18.640
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Katherine, what's next? We just told that woman to

0:39:19.000 --> 0:39:21.080
<v Speaker 2>oh oh, let me wrap that up. I just want

0:39:21.080 --> 0:39:23.200
<v Speaker 2>to say, like, yeah, you need to start talking in

0:39:23.239 --> 0:39:25.279
<v Speaker 2>a nicer way to yourself, you know. And as long

0:39:25.360 --> 0:39:27.879
<v Speaker 2>as you're living a healthy lifestyle, like whatever is you're

0:39:27.880 --> 0:39:29.640
<v Speaker 2>going to do to make yourself feel better about the

0:39:29.640 --> 0:39:32.520
<v Speaker 2>way you look, drink more water, exercise more, eat healthier

0:39:32.520 --> 0:39:34.479
<v Speaker 2>food that shows up in your skin, in your face

0:39:34.520 --> 0:39:36.799
<v Speaker 2>every single day, and when you're feeding yourself and you're

0:39:36.960 --> 0:39:39.680
<v Speaker 2>feeling healthy, you do look better and you do feel better.

0:39:39.840 --> 0:39:42.160
<v Speaker 2>So it's all this kind of like psychological structure that

0:39:42.200 --> 0:39:44.200
<v Speaker 2>you need to get on board with as we age,

0:39:44.440 --> 0:39:45.880
<v Speaker 2>because there's going to be plenty of things that you

0:39:45.880 --> 0:39:48.480
<v Speaker 2>don't like about yourself. No one it gets to escape

0:39:48.520 --> 0:39:52.160
<v Speaker 2>from that physically. Okay, Catherine, we solve that problem, I think.

0:39:52.280 --> 0:39:54.120
<v Speaker 3>I think. So, I'm trying to switch my bracelets over.

0:39:54.000 --> 0:39:56.760
<v Speaker 2>To my other wrist, and it's really not working because

0:39:56.920 --> 0:39:58.239
<v Speaker 2>I have to do I have to go to this

0:39:58.320 --> 0:40:00.800
<v Speaker 2>about Yeah, yeah, knew you'd understand.

0:40:00.800 --> 0:40:03.200
<v Speaker 3>See way, I can't believe you're nineteen years old, googaga.

0:40:03.200 --> 0:40:04.920
<v Speaker 3>Can you help me with that? Yeah, since you're nineteen,

0:40:04.920 --> 0:40:05.719
<v Speaker 3>you probably have great eyes.

0:40:05.760 --> 0:40:08.319
<v Speaker 1>I do you have great great vision and dexterity. Well,

0:40:08.320 --> 0:40:10.800
<v Speaker 1>our next question comes from one of the most thorough

0:40:10.800 --> 0:40:12.160
<v Speaker 1>callers I think we've ever had.

0:40:12.360 --> 0:40:15.280
<v Speaker 2>Oh oh wow, we've had some really fucking thorough callers.

0:40:16.000 --> 0:40:22.280
<v Speaker 1>She starts with her stats, age twenty nine, gender, female, ethnicity, black, location, NYC,

0:40:22.680 --> 0:40:27.200
<v Speaker 1>sexual orientation, straight, topic, dating, and specifically what to do

0:40:27.239 --> 0:40:28.120
<v Speaker 1>when you lose hope?

0:40:28.440 --> 0:40:29.960
<v Speaker 3>Okay, straight, but not for long.

0:40:30.200 --> 0:40:32.920
<v Speaker 1>Here's my situation. I'm a twenty nine year old female

0:40:32.920 --> 0:40:35.319
<v Speaker 1>living in New York. I've been single and actively dating

0:40:35.360 --> 0:40:37.319
<v Speaker 1>for the last two and a half years. I have

0:40:37.440 --> 0:40:40.439
<v Speaker 1>been on a lot of dates sixty five first dates

0:40:40.440 --> 0:40:43.200
<v Speaker 1>to be exact, since May twenty twenty one. Wow, she

0:40:43.360 --> 0:40:45.480
<v Speaker 1>was keeping us breadsheet, by the way. Some of these

0:40:45.560 --> 0:40:47.719
<v Speaker 1>dates have turned into second and third dates, and there

0:40:47.760 --> 0:40:49.440
<v Speaker 1>was one guy I dated for a few months, but

0:40:49.520 --> 0:40:52.520
<v Speaker 1>nothing has turned into a committed relationship. In my most

0:40:52.520 --> 0:40:55.160
<v Speaker 1>recent experience, I went on what I thought were three

0:40:55.200 --> 0:40:59.120
<v Speaker 1>great dates. After expressing a lot of interest, this guy disappeared.

0:40:59.360 --> 0:41:01.720
<v Speaker 1>I understand that no one owes you anything early in dating,

0:41:01.840 --> 0:41:04.799
<v Speaker 1>but one we were intimate, and two this man was

0:41:04.800 --> 0:41:06.719
<v Speaker 1>thirty five years old, so you'd think he'd at least

0:41:06.719 --> 0:41:09.840
<v Speaker 1>send a text. Typically I would dust off the rejection

0:41:10.000 --> 0:41:12.839
<v Speaker 1>and just keep moving. I've been ghosted before, but for

0:41:12.880 --> 0:41:15.560
<v Speaker 1>some reason, this one got to me. The accumulation of

0:41:15.640 --> 0:41:17.880
<v Speaker 1>trying and trying with no success has had a bigger

0:41:17.920 --> 0:41:21.319
<v Speaker 1>emotional impact than I thought. Outside of dating, life is great.

0:41:21.360 --> 0:41:23.960
<v Speaker 1>I've been working with a therapist for the past five years.

0:41:24.320 --> 0:41:26.800
<v Speaker 1>But there's this other thing. I recently saw a psychic

0:41:26.840 --> 0:41:28.719
<v Speaker 1>for a tarot reading. A few weeks ago, and she

0:41:28.800 --> 0:41:31.319
<v Speaker 1>told me that someone who's jealous put a curse on me,

0:41:31.680 --> 0:41:34.400
<v Speaker 1>and that's why dating has been such a struggle. I

0:41:34.520 --> 0:41:36.960
<v Speaker 1>enjoyed the psychic and other energetic readings, but I also

0:41:37.040 --> 0:41:39.680
<v Speaker 1>know it's not all fact. Although maybe she's onto something.

0:41:39.760 --> 0:41:40.960
<v Speaker 1>A curse would explain a lot.

0:41:41.200 --> 0:41:41.560
<v Speaker 3>Lol.

0:41:41.960 --> 0:41:43.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm taking a break from the apps for now. My

0:41:44.040 --> 0:41:46.240
<v Speaker 1>question is how do I keep going?

0:41:46.560 --> 0:41:48.040
<v Speaker 3>Polly? Hi?

0:41:48.840 --> 0:41:49.040
<v Speaker 1>Hi?

0:41:49.239 --> 0:41:50.120
<v Speaker 6>How are you Hi?

0:41:50.200 --> 0:41:52.520
<v Speaker 2>We have our special guest seaway here today to help.

0:41:53.080 --> 0:41:55.200
<v Speaker 3>Oh my god, my g favorite people.

0:41:55.640 --> 0:41:55.799
<v Speaker 1>Hi.

0:41:56.440 --> 0:41:57.480
<v Speaker 5>This is your story?

0:41:58.719 --> 0:42:00.440
<v Speaker 1>Yes, Kylie Wow?

0:42:00.960 --> 0:42:04.160
<v Speaker 3>Okay. So I had a similar experience. I had a

0:42:04.239 --> 0:42:05.000
<v Speaker 3>dry spell for.

0:42:05.000 --> 0:42:07.920
<v Speaker 2>A long period of time where I was not connecting

0:42:07.920 --> 0:42:09.719
<v Speaker 2>with guys or the guys that were interested in me.

0:42:09.760 --> 0:42:11.360
<v Speaker 2>I was not interested in and the guys I was

0:42:11.400 --> 0:42:15.040
<v Speaker 2>interested in would seem interested and then either like back

0:42:15.080 --> 0:42:17.920
<v Speaker 2>off or get scared. And I thought, I seriously was like,

0:42:17.960 --> 0:42:19.560
<v Speaker 2>I feel like I'm cursed. I said that to my

0:42:19.600 --> 0:42:21.680
<v Speaker 2>girlfriend's in London, because I would like hang out with

0:42:21.719 --> 0:42:23.600
<v Speaker 2>these guys for like two and a half hours at

0:42:23.640 --> 0:42:25.080
<v Speaker 2>a bar and then I'd be like, all right, you

0:42:25.080 --> 0:42:27.759
<v Speaker 2>want to come home with me? And then like they

0:42:27.800 --> 0:42:30.000
<v Speaker 2>would disappear or they were scared, and I'm like, what

0:42:30.800 --> 0:42:33.560
<v Speaker 2>the fuck is happening? First of all, I'm ready to rumble.

0:42:34.239 --> 0:42:36.959
<v Speaker 2>You're never gonna have hear from me again. I mean,

0:42:37.200 --> 0:42:39.200
<v Speaker 2>this is my experience. I'm not speaking for you.

0:42:39.520 --> 0:42:39.920
<v Speaker 3>Anyway.

0:42:40.000 --> 0:42:41.880
<v Speaker 2>I went through this whole thing, and then I was

0:42:41.880 --> 0:42:43.080
<v Speaker 2>talking to my new therapist.

0:42:43.320 --> 0:42:45.200
<v Speaker 3>I have a new therapist, and she was.

0:42:45.200 --> 0:42:47.040
<v Speaker 2>Saying something to me. I said, I don't know what

0:42:47.120 --> 0:42:48.920
<v Speaker 2>kind of energy I'm putting out there. I think I'm

0:42:48.920 --> 0:42:52.319
<v Speaker 2>putting off the wrong energy or some weird energy. And

0:42:52.360 --> 0:42:54.200
<v Speaker 2>she said, I just really want you to think of,

0:42:54.320 --> 0:42:56.880
<v Speaker 2>like what the essence of you is really?

0:42:57.000 --> 0:42:57.759
<v Speaker 3>Who is like the.

0:42:57.719 --> 0:43:01.120
<v Speaker 2>Best version of yourself? And and I was like, She's like,

0:43:01.160 --> 0:43:03.359
<v Speaker 2>can you see that person? And I was like, yeah, absolutely,

0:43:03.400 --> 0:43:06.160
<v Speaker 2>I know exactly who that person is. And she's like, Okay,

0:43:06.560 --> 0:43:08.759
<v Speaker 2>when you are on these dates or you were having

0:43:08.800 --> 0:43:11.280
<v Speaker 2>these interactions, She's like, I just want you to always

0:43:11.360 --> 0:43:15.160
<v Speaker 2>remember like the best version of yourself, like the essence

0:43:15.200 --> 0:43:16.719
<v Speaker 2>of who you are. And I think if you're getting

0:43:16.760 --> 0:43:19.719
<v Speaker 2>tarot cards readings or any sort of psychic readings, you

0:43:19.800 --> 0:43:23.920
<v Speaker 2>probably understand what I mean by essence, right, Yeah, And

0:43:23.960 --> 0:43:25.000
<v Speaker 2>it's important.

0:43:24.600 --> 0:43:26.480
<v Speaker 3>To think of that because we all have like what

0:43:26.640 --> 0:43:27.960
<v Speaker 3>is our essence? Who are we?

0:43:28.480 --> 0:43:30.120
<v Speaker 2>And she just said, I just want you to hold

0:43:30.120 --> 0:43:33.120
<v Speaker 2>onto that version of you instead of getting into like

0:43:33.160 --> 0:43:35.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, because sometimes we have all these like guardrails

0:43:35.600 --> 0:43:39.120
<v Speaker 2>up and these invisible defense mechanisms. We're trying to self preserve,

0:43:39.120 --> 0:43:42.000
<v Speaker 2>We're trying to protect ourselves in different exchanges, and usually

0:43:42.000 --> 0:43:44.520
<v Speaker 2>it really has nothing to fucking do with you, because

0:43:44.560 --> 0:43:46.520
<v Speaker 2>all these men are fucking batshit. I had a guy

0:43:46.560 --> 0:43:48.799
<v Speaker 2>reach out to me a few weeks ago, chasing me

0:43:48.920 --> 0:43:51.960
<v Speaker 2>down on DM because we had matched on Rayah, and

0:43:52.040 --> 0:43:54.359
<v Speaker 2>I didn't respond chasing me down on DM to go

0:43:54.400 --> 0:43:56.399
<v Speaker 2>to a drink with him. I finally make a plan

0:43:56.440 --> 0:43:58.680
<v Speaker 2>with him and he ended up blowing me off. I'm like,

0:43:58.800 --> 0:44:01.719
<v Speaker 2>excuse me, you fucking more on But again, that has

0:44:01.760 --> 0:44:03.439
<v Speaker 2>nothing to do with me, you know what I mean.

0:44:03.680 --> 0:44:05.640
<v Speaker 2>That is something to do with him. That's somebody that

0:44:05.680 --> 0:44:07.319
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad I never went on a date with, because

0:44:07.320 --> 0:44:10.000
<v Speaker 2>if that's how we handled the situation, you know, good riddance.

0:44:10.360 --> 0:44:13.280
<v Speaker 2>But a take some of the pressure off of yourself

0:44:13.320 --> 0:44:15.719
<v Speaker 2>by understanding that men are it's a hot mess out

0:44:15.719 --> 0:44:17.360
<v Speaker 2>there and it's a numbers game and I understand you

0:44:17.400 --> 0:44:19.799
<v Speaker 2>went on sixty five dates, which is a lot, but

0:44:20.280 --> 0:44:22.680
<v Speaker 2>that attitude is right, Like it's fun to go out

0:44:22.680 --> 0:44:25.560
<v Speaker 2>and experiment, and just keep in mind the best version

0:44:25.560 --> 0:44:27.520
<v Speaker 2>of yourself, like when you were a little girl, Like

0:44:27.560 --> 0:44:31.000
<v Speaker 2>the most innocent, joyful kind of version of yourself. Not

0:44:31.080 --> 0:44:34.080
<v Speaker 2>to act innocent, but be playful in that way when

0:44:34.120 --> 0:44:36.840
<v Speaker 2>you're in these situations, so that you're not waiting for

0:44:36.920 --> 0:44:39.399
<v Speaker 2>them to like blow you off or walk out the door,

0:44:39.520 --> 0:44:41.160
<v Speaker 2>or that you're not going to hear from them again. Like,

0:44:41.239 --> 0:44:44.400
<v Speaker 2>don't set that narrative up. Go into each situation with

0:44:44.480 --> 0:44:48.240
<v Speaker 2>an open, healthy, like exciting mind and if it works out, great,

0:44:48.280 --> 0:44:51.040
<v Speaker 2>and if it doesn't, good riddance. Thank you for sparing me.

0:44:51.160 --> 0:44:53.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, another person that's not going to add to

0:44:53.640 --> 0:44:55.839
<v Speaker 2>my life. And I think if you just adjust your

0:44:55.840 --> 0:44:58.680
<v Speaker 2>attitude slightly when you're dating, are you dating a lot?

0:44:58.960 --> 0:44:59.160
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:44:59.200 --> 0:45:01.279
<v Speaker 5>I'm dating, but no a lot, But I'm dating.

0:45:01.120 --> 0:45:03.279
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And I've I've been dating a lot lately and

0:45:03.520 --> 0:45:05.160
<v Speaker 2>my attitude has totally changed.

0:45:05.400 --> 0:45:07.640
<v Speaker 3>And that advice she gave me, and you have to

0:45:07.640 --> 0:45:07.960
<v Speaker 3>do so.

0:45:07.920 --> 0:45:09.799
<v Speaker 2>A little bit of work to figure out, you know who,

0:45:10.120 --> 0:45:12.879
<v Speaker 2>what your exact essence is. But we all know who

0:45:12.920 --> 0:45:15.440
<v Speaker 2>we are deep down, and we all know what our

0:45:15.480 --> 0:45:17.440
<v Speaker 2>best qualities are, and so you just want to go

0:45:17.480 --> 0:45:20.319
<v Speaker 2>into all of these situations with a lightness instead of

0:45:20.800 --> 0:45:24.799
<v Speaker 2>a worried kind of feeling or paranoia that it's not

0:45:24.840 --> 0:45:27.879
<v Speaker 2>going to work out or are you good enough? All

0:45:27.920 --> 0:45:28.880
<v Speaker 2>of that is irrelevant.

0:45:29.239 --> 0:45:31.960
<v Speaker 5>Curses are real. I would say that you should pray

0:45:32.239 --> 0:45:34.879
<v Speaker 5>or do whatever thing that you believe in to help

0:45:35.120 --> 0:45:37.879
<v Speaker 5>protect you against that, because they are real. I don't

0:45:37.880 --> 0:45:39.920
<v Speaker 5>know if your friend really did that, but people courses

0:45:39.920 --> 0:45:40.200
<v Speaker 5>are real.

0:45:40.239 --> 0:45:41.840
<v Speaker 3>Well, how did she say to remove the curse? How

0:45:41.880 --> 0:45:42.880
<v Speaker 3>do you remove a curse?

0:45:43.360 --> 0:45:46.799
<v Speaker 6>So she gave me like very specific instructions about like

0:45:46.960 --> 0:45:49.319
<v Speaker 6>little rituals that I was supposed to do, which I

0:45:49.360 --> 0:45:51.799
<v Speaker 6>did because I just felt like I had nothing to lose,

0:45:51.920 --> 0:45:54.720
<v Speaker 6>lighting this candle and putting a baby leaf in the water,

0:45:55.360 --> 0:45:58.200
<v Speaker 6>things like that. I did everything that she asked, Like

0:45:58.239 --> 0:46:01.839
<v Speaker 6>I filled a water bottle with salt and like put

0:46:01.840 --> 0:46:04.600
<v Speaker 6>it in my window to like catch the moonlight, and

0:46:04.640 --> 0:46:08.120
<v Speaker 6>then I lit a candle and then ask for the

0:46:08.239 --> 0:46:10.719
<v Speaker 6>universe to remove this curse. Like I did everything that

0:46:10.719 --> 0:46:13.880
<v Speaker 6>she asked me to do. Basically, you just carry that

0:46:13.920 --> 0:46:17.279
<v Speaker 6>out and asked the universe to release the curse from you.

0:46:17.440 --> 0:46:20.000
<v Speaker 3>So that's what I did. Yeah, well that's going to

0:46:20.080 --> 0:46:20.640
<v Speaker 3>work then.

0:46:20.960 --> 0:46:22.960
<v Speaker 2>I mean you're doing all the things that you can do,

0:46:23.400 --> 0:46:25.880
<v Speaker 2>and also you know, meditate and pray on it, just

0:46:25.920 --> 0:46:27.680
<v Speaker 2>like do whatever your thing is.

0:46:28.040 --> 0:46:28.760
<v Speaker 3>Do you meditate?

0:46:29.280 --> 0:46:32.200
<v Speaker 6>I do, Yeah, not as consistantly as I would like to,

0:46:32.239 --> 0:46:35.719
<v Speaker 6>but I'm trying to build a more consistent practice of it.

0:46:35.920 --> 0:46:37.919
<v Speaker 2>And I think when you're meditating, when you think about

0:46:38.000 --> 0:46:40.720
<v Speaker 2>radiating light, like I always think about that when I meditate,

0:46:40.760 --> 0:46:42.680
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm such a good vibe, Like I'm just have

0:46:42.760 --> 0:46:44.880
<v Speaker 2>light around me, and anyone who comes in is going

0:46:44.960 --> 0:46:48.239
<v Speaker 2>to also get light, and anybody who doesn't deserve that

0:46:48.360 --> 0:46:51.960
<v Speaker 2>light that will be rebuffed by the strength of that light,

0:46:52.320 --> 0:46:53.839
<v Speaker 2>you know. And like I want you to think about

0:46:53.880 --> 0:46:56.080
<v Speaker 2>that for yourself too, because you want to keep like

0:46:56.280 --> 0:46:58.319
<v Speaker 2>any sort of negative energies away from you.

0:46:58.360 --> 0:47:00.239
<v Speaker 3>So what's the latest. You haven't been on a in

0:47:00.280 --> 0:47:01.600
<v Speaker 3>a few weeks.

0:47:01.400 --> 0:47:04.080
<v Speaker 6>So there is like a little update to the original

0:47:04.120 --> 0:47:05.000
<v Speaker 6>email that I wrote.

0:47:05.040 --> 0:47:08.720
<v Speaker 3>Actually you're married now I'm fully married.

0:47:09.600 --> 0:47:12.400
<v Speaker 6>So I actually ended up seeing that guy two more times,

0:47:12.600 --> 0:47:15.240
<v Speaker 6>but it was like the same result, Like I think

0:47:15.480 --> 0:47:17.280
<v Speaker 6>it was kind of like an inevitable result.

0:47:17.400 --> 0:47:19.600
<v Speaker 5>I'll tell you, you.

0:47:18.600 --> 0:47:23.080
<v Speaker 6>Know, yeah, yeah exactly like he I don't know. I mean,

0:47:23.080 --> 0:47:25.040
<v Speaker 6>it was just like very surprising because this man is

0:47:25.080 --> 0:47:27.520
<v Speaker 6>truly like thirty six years old and like did not

0:47:27.840 --> 0:47:30.880
<v Speaker 6>have the emotional maturity to be like, hey, like this

0:47:30.960 --> 0:47:33.000
<v Speaker 6>has been fun. I'm just like not interested like that.

0:47:33.040 --> 0:47:34.880
<v Speaker 6>Like he sort of tried to do like a slow fade,

0:47:34.920 --> 0:47:38.319
<v Speaker 6>and I confronted him about it, and he got very

0:47:38.360 --> 0:47:42.000
<v Speaker 6>uncomfortable and then you know, tried to say, oh, like

0:47:42.080 --> 0:47:44.200
<v Speaker 6>I'm really busy, and I was like, okay, say no more,

0:47:44.360 --> 0:47:47.000
<v Speaker 6>got it good, Like I'm ready to move on. I

0:47:47.040 --> 0:47:49.000
<v Speaker 6>don't know. I haven't been on a date since then,

0:47:49.280 --> 0:47:51.759
<v Speaker 6>because like the thought of going on another date just

0:47:51.800 --> 0:47:54.840
<v Speaker 6>made me very anxious and like frustrated. So I was like,

0:47:54.960 --> 0:47:57.799
<v Speaker 6>that's not that obviously, this is like not bringing me

0:47:58.000 --> 0:47:58.920
<v Speaker 6>joy right now.

0:47:59.000 --> 0:48:01.040
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, you have to be in the right head space.

0:48:01.080 --> 0:48:03.160
<v Speaker 2>So you have to get yourself like do that little

0:48:03.200 --> 0:48:06.880
<v Speaker 2>talk with yourself before any date about your essence, about

0:48:06.880 --> 0:48:10.680
<v Speaker 2>your intention, about being light and not having huge expectations,

0:48:11.040 --> 0:48:13.200
<v Speaker 2>because that's also something we fuck up. We go into

0:48:13.239 --> 0:48:14.880
<v Speaker 2>dates sometimes and be like, oh, I wonder if this

0:48:14.920 --> 0:48:16.880
<v Speaker 2>is gonna be my boyfriend, And it's like, not everybody's

0:48:16.880 --> 0:48:18.520
<v Speaker 2>meant to be your boyfriend. Some people are just meant

0:48:18.520 --> 0:48:20.279
<v Speaker 2>to have fun with. Some people are just meant because

0:48:20.320 --> 0:48:22.359
<v Speaker 2>they're gonna be friends, you know, and on and on.

0:48:22.640 --> 0:48:24.880
<v Speaker 5>Can I tell you what I do with dating. I

0:48:25.040 --> 0:48:28.520
<v Speaker 5>like to approach the people that I'm potentially dating the

0:48:28.560 --> 0:48:31.960
<v Speaker 5>way I poach friendships. So it's like, oh, I wouldn't

0:48:32.040 --> 0:48:33.680
<v Speaker 5>let a friend talk to me this way, so I

0:48:33.719 --> 0:48:36.120
<v Speaker 5>wouldn't let a potential suitor talk to me this way.

0:48:36.360 --> 0:48:38.640
<v Speaker 5>I wouldn't engage this way with a friend, so I

0:48:38.640 --> 0:48:41.480
<v Speaker 5>wouldn't engage this way with a suitor. So it's like,

0:48:41.520 --> 0:48:44.000
<v Speaker 5>for me, it has to be in the words of

0:48:44.080 --> 0:48:46.680
<v Speaker 5>Kim Catral, I don't even want to spend one hour

0:48:47.080 --> 0:48:50.399
<v Speaker 5>not doing something that makes me happy. So, like you

0:48:50.440 --> 0:48:52.440
<v Speaker 5>said it yourself, you took a break because you weren't

0:48:52.440 --> 0:48:55.520
<v Speaker 5>feeling it. That's cool, and then ease into it. However

0:48:55.560 --> 0:48:57.359
<v Speaker 5>you ease into it, but I think you have to

0:48:57.400 --> 0:49:00.719
<v Speaker 5>lower the stakes. Every single person is not going to

0:49:00.760 --> 0:49:03.080
<v Speaker 5>be the perfect person, in the same way that when

0:49:03.080 --> 0:49:06.400
<v Speaker 5>you meet potential friends, every single person isn't your bestie

0:49:06.400 --> 0:49:08.680
<v Speaker 5>all of a sudden, like it has to happen, Like

0:49:08.719 --> 0:49:10.759
<v Speaker 5>you have different friends that you eb and flow with,

0:49:11.040 --> 0:49:13.719
<v Speaker 5>So allow that to be as organic as you would

0:49:13.760 --> 0:49:17.040
<v Speaker 5>allow your dating life to be, because again you're in

0:49:17.120 --> 0:49:20.239
<v Speaker 5>theory when we date, we're looking for a partnership that

0:49:20.520 --> 0:49:24.160
<v Speaker 5>lasts more than six months, right, that is supportive to

0:49:24.320 --> 0:49:26.839
<v Speaker 5>both of the people in that partnership. So it has

0:49:26.960 --> 0:49:30.239
<v Speaker 5>to be like a healthy, organic exchange.

0:49:30.600 --> 0:49:31.520
<v Speaker 6>Yeah.

0:49:31.560 --> 0:49:34.319
<v Speaker 2>And also it's a great exercise in communication, Like it's

0:49:34.400 --> 0:49:36.960
<v Speaker 2>really good. That's you know, it's not for not if

0:49:36.960 --> 0:49:38.439
<v Speaker 2>you don't if you go on a date with somebody

0:49:38.480 --> 0:49:41.319
<v Speaker 2>that you don't click with, because you're getting better at communicating,

0:49:41.320 --> 0:49:43.719
<v Speaker 2>you're getting better at being in an uncomfortable situation and

0:49:43.760 --> 0:49:46.800
<v Speaker 2>making it natural. So there's advantages to going through the

0:49:46.840 --> 0:49:49.080
<v Speaker 2>process regardless of whether you end up with a boyfriend

0:49:49.200 --> 0:49:51.799
<v Speaker 2>right away, you know. And it's like I feel like

0:49:51.840 --> 0:49:53.960
<v Speaker 2>if you you know, you put that much effort into it,

0:49:54.000 --> 0:49:55.320
<v Speaker 2>you're going to yield results.

0:49:55.920 --> 0:50:01.240
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I hope. So I think something that the psychic

0:50:01.280 --> 0:50:03.880
<v Speaker 6>said to me that was like a little less esoteric

0:50:04.000 --> 0:50:06.960
<v Speaker 6>and actually like really resonated with me, which she was like,

0:50:07.840 --> 0:50:11.160
<v Speaker 6>I feel that you have been like searching and like

0:50:11.200 --> 0:50:13.600
<v Speaker 6>really seeking and like really putting your energy out, and

0:50:13.600 --> 0:50:15.200
<v Speaker 6>she's like, I wonder what it would be like for

0:50:15.239 --> 0:50:17.759
<v Speaker 6>you to just sit back and like let people come

0:50:17.800 --> 0:50:22.760
<v Speaker 6>to you. And that really struck me, and I am

0:50:23.360 --> 0:50:25.279
<v Speaker 6>I'm just like now in the process of trying to

0:50:25.280 --> 0:50:27.640
<v Speaker 6>figure out what that looks like in real life, Like

0:50:27.719 --> 0:50:30.000
<v Speaker 6>how do I sort of just like sit back and

0:50:30.080 --> 0:50:31.120
<v Speaker 6>let people come to me?

0:50:31.600 --> 0:50:31.799
<v Speaker 3>You know?

0:50:32.840 --> 0:50:35.040
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, how do you make friends in real life?

0:50:35.760 --> 0:50:39.160
<v Speaker 6>I mean, this is a good question. I It's something

0:50:39.239 --> 0:50:44.640
<v Speaker 6>that I'm working on, Honestly. I luckily like my job.

0:50:44.760 --> 0:50:46.640
<v Speaker 6>I spend a lot of time meeting a lot of

0:50:46.640 --> 0:50:50.280
<v Speaker 6>different people. I manage a lot of studio full time

0:50:50.320 --> 0:50:53.600
<v Speaker 6>and I teach there. And I've actually like made friends

0:50:53.600 --> 0:50:56.040
<v Speaker 6>with some of my clients. Basically they started out as

0:50:56.040 --> 0:50:58.279
<v Speaker 6>clients and then you know, we would just spend a

0:50:58.280 --> 0:51:00.680
<v Speaker 6>lot of time talking after a class, and then I

0:51:00.840 --> 0:51:03.200
<v Speaker 6>just was like, hey, I think, you know, we should

0:51:03.239 --> 0:51:04.880
<v Speaker 6>hang out. I feel like we never have time to

0:51:04.920 --> 0:51:07.879
<v Speaker 6>like finish our conversations anyway. So like I've been able

0:51:07.920 --> 0:51:11.880
<v Speaker 6>to meet people that way. Outside of that, it's a

0:51:11.920 --> 0:51:14.200
<v Speaker 6>little bit of a it's been a little bit of

0:51:14.200 --> 0:51:16.920
<v Speaker 6>a challenge for me to like make friends, like as

0:51:16.960 --> 0:51:19.000
<v Speaker 6>an adult as I imagine it is for a lot

0:51:19.000 --> 0:51:22.160
<v Speaker 6>of people. But that's been really helpful. I've also been

0:51:22.200 --> 0:51:24.240
<v Speaker 6>trying to like go to events and stuff.

0:51:24.440 --> 0:51:26.359
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I mean it sounds like from Pilate's at least

0:51:26.400 --> 0:51:28.440
<v Speaker 5>these are people who have your shared interests and you're

0:51:28.480 --> 0:51:31.000
<v Speaker 5>able to have like a mutual connection. So it's like,

0:51:31.040 --> 0:51:34.839
<v Speaker 5>I hope that as you find a perspective partner, you're

0:51:34.880 --> 0:51:38.160
<v Speaker 5>looking at places where you actually want to be yourself,

0:51:38.320 --> 0:51:41.200
<v Speaker 5>where you're actually having fun and you're attracting the energy

0:51:41.239 --> 0:51:44.040
<v Speaker 5>to you in those spaces, but you're not changing anything

0:51:44.080 --> 0:51:46.560
<v Speaker 5>about you or what your wave is, but simply being

0:51:46.600 --> 0:51:48.120
<v Speaker 5>yourself and doing the things that you like.

0:51:48.680 --> 0:51:52.280
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I think my biggest struggle is like the things

0:51:52.320 --> 0:51:54.480
<v Speaker 6>that I really love to do there just like aren't

0:51:54.520 --> 0:51:57.000
<v Speaker 6>a lot of straight men there, and I think a

0:51:57.040 --> 0:52:01.040
<v Speaker 6>lot about Like is the reason why and like I

0:52:01.120 --> 0:52:04.239
<v Speaker 6>feel more comfortable is because there are no straight.

0:52:04.239 --> 0:52:06.719
<v Speaker 2>And that's I mean, I think you speak for lots

0:52:06.760 --> 0:52:11.000
<v Speaker 2>of women when you talk about preferring areas spaces without

0:52:11.080 --> 0:52:14.200
<v Speaker 2>straight men. I think we can all relate to that.

0:52:14.920 --> 0:52:17.200
<v Speaker 2>When you're on dates, are you very like are you

0:52:17.239 --> 0:52:19.239
<v Speaker 2>do you sit back and let it happen or are

0:52:19.280 --> 0:52:22.040
<v Speaker 2>you like controlling or steering the conversation.

0:52:23.360 --> 0:52:26.759
<v Speaker 6>It really depends on the person. I try to. I

0:52:26.800 --> 0:52:30.400
<v Speaker 6>try to be conscious of like not talking about myself

0:52:30.440 --> 0:52:33.160
<v Speaker 6>for the entire time, and also because like I do,

0:52:33.239 --> 0:52:36.799
<v Speaker 6>I am curious about the other person. But there are

0:52:36.920 --> 0:52:39.800
<v Speaker 6>times when I feel like, if I don't ask a question,

0:52:40.080 --> 0:52:42.680
<v Speaker 6>this person is just going to sit here and like

0:52:42.800 --> 0:52:43.680
<v Speaker 6>let it be dead silence.

0:52:43.719 --> 0:52:45.799
<v Speaker 3>And honestly, like do people do that on dates? Do

0:52:45.840 --> 0:52:47.560
<v Speaker 3>people just sit there in second silence?

0:52:47.840 --> 0:52:50.080
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, well no, they just they just kind of wait

0:52:50.160 --> 0:52:53.359
<v Speaker 6>for you to ask them a question, like I'm I'm

0:52:53.480 --> 0:52:57.600
<v Speaker 6>interviewing them, And sometimes like if I get frustrated, I

0:52:57.640 --> 0:53:00.800
<v Speaker 6>will just sit there because I'm like, this is not

0:53:02.080 --> 0:53:06.480
<v Speaker 6>I'm not going to interview you. But I really try

0:53:06.520 --> 0:53:10.160
<v Speaker 6>to like let there be a conversation. But occasionally, yes, there's.

0:53:10.040 --> 0:53:12.399
<v Speaker 2>Not pretty fucking awkward when you're on a first date

0:53:12.440 --> 0:53:14.200
<v Speaker 2>with somebody and you're sitting there in silence.

0:53:14.719 --> 0:53:16.880
<v Speaker 3>That's like, yeah, well then you're not a good match.

0:53:17.120 --> 0:53:18.920
<v Speaker 1>No, yeah, they're not going a conversation.

0:53:19.480 --> 0:53:21.000
<v Speaker 5>It's a hard thing to hear, but you know.

0:53:21.200 --> 0:53:22.800
<v Speaker 2>But anyway, you're going to get rid of this spell

0:53:22.840 --> 0:53:25.000
<v Speaker 2>if you haven't already you're going to get rid of that.

0:53:25.000 --> 0:53:26.480
<v Speaker 3>That's going to do. You just have to think of

0:53:26.520 --> 0:53:27.160
<v Speaker 3>that as gone.

0:53:27.480 --> 0:53:30.239
<v Speaker 2>You did everything you had to do to get rid

0:53:30.239 --> 0:53:32.280
<v Speaker 2>of it, and you're going to just kind of adjust

0:53:32.320 --> 0:53:35.759
<v Speaker 2>your expectations and understand that you're going to go into

0:53:35.800 --> 0:53:37.399
<v Speaker 2>these dates with just a little bit of a lighter

0:53:37.440 --> 0:53:39.400
<v Speaker 2>attitude about it and not look at it as a

0:53:39.400 --> 0:53:42.640
<v Speaker 2>reflection of you each date. And also get out there more.

0:53:42.719 --> 0:53:44.920
<v Speaker 2>Do other stuff in your community so that you can

0:53:45.040 --> 0:53:47.080
<v Speaker 2>meet other people. Go rock climbing, go to one of

0:53:47.120 --> 0:53:49.640
<v Speaker 2>those classes. You'll find some straight guys there. You know,

0:53:49.760 --> 0:53:52.000
<v Speaker 2>go to play tennis, or you know, you could join

0:53:52.040 --> 0:53:53.440
<v Speaker 2>a book club to make girlfriends.

0:53:53.480 --> 0:53:54.960
<v Speaker 3>I mean, I'm sure there's no straight guys in a

0:53:55.000 --> 0:53:55.760
<v Speaker 3>fucking book club.

0:53:56.239 --> 0:53:59.880
<v Speaker 2>But just be actively trying to like widen your circle

0:54:00.239 --> 0:54:03.000
<v Speaker 2>of comfort and put yourself out there a little bit more,

0:54:03.040 --> 0:54:04.280
<v Speaker 2>and I think that will yield results.

0:54:04.320 --> 0:54:07.640
<v Speaker 3>Also, it always does. Yeah, what city are you in?

0:54:08.000 --> 0:54:08.719
<v Speaker 6>I'm in New York.

0:54:08.960 --> 0:54:13.759
<v Speaker 2>Oh well, hello, there's plenty going on here, sister, lots

0:54:13.760 --> 0:54:16.360
<v Speaker 2>of action everywhere you look. So just go down to

0:54:16.400 --> 0:54:20.640
<v Speaker 2>the pier. There's men there all the time. Just go

0:54:20.680 --> 0:54:21.480
<v Speaker 2>to the pier and wait.

0:54:22.719 --> 0:54:24.879
<v Speaker 3>Yea, all right, all right, thanks for calling you us

0:54:24.880 --> 0:54:29.360
<v Speaker 3>posted Okay, okay, thanks bye bye.

0:54:29.760 --> 0:54:31.520
<v Speaker 2>We'll take a break and we'll be right back to

0:54:31.719 --> 0:54:38.040
<v Speaker 2>close out with z Way and we're back.

0:54:38.719 --> 0:54:39.560
<v Speaker 3>She was real cute.

0:54:39.640 --> 0:54:43.600
<v Speaker 2>It's amazing how women are so worried about men, even me.

0:54:43.800 --> 0:54:45.520
<v Speaker 2>Like a woman like me, you would think we wouldn't

0:54:45.560 --> 0:54:48.279
<v Speaker 2>have issues with men, and I do too. They're just

0:54:49.040 --> 0:54:51.000
<v Speaker 2>it's a hot mess situation dating.

0:54:51.280 --> 0:54:55.120
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I'm the older I get the more you're nineteen,

0:54:55.320 --> 0:54:57.680
<v Speaker 5>goog got so from what when you were sick? From

0:54:57.680 --> 0:55:00.759
<v Speaker 5>when I was seven? Thank you? A year after. I'm

0:55:00.800 --> 0:55:05.920
<v Speaker 5>trying to get to a place where I don't need

0:55:05.960 --> 0:55:09.719
<v Speaker 5>a man, and I just like whatever comes into my

0:55:09.719 --> 0:55:10.520
<v Speaker 5>life is cool.

0:55:10.800 --> 0:55:13.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, well I'm at that place and eventually you need penetration.

0:55:14.120 --> 0:55:14.800
<v Speaker 5>That's true.

0:55:14.880 --> 0:55:17.040
<v Speaker 3>And what I said to my might I said to

0:55:17.080 --> 0:55:19.080
<v Speaker 3>my therapist, she goes, what do you want exactly?

0:55:19.160 --> 0:55:20.160
<v Speaker 5>What about toys?

0:55:20.239 --> 0:55:22.120
<v Speaker 3>And I that's not as fun. I like a man,

0:55:22.520 --> 0:55:23.359
<v Speaker 3>you know, I like a man.

0:55:23.440 --> 0:55:25.359
<v Speaker 5>So sometimes you have sex and it's like not that good.

0:55:25.600 --> 0:55:26.480
<v Speaker 3>No, that's true.

0:55:26.560 --> 0:55:27.800
<v Speaker 5>But what I'd be alone?

0:55:27.880 --> 0:55:29.960
<v Speaker 3>But I would I'd rather be alone than have bad sex.

0:55:30.000 --> 0:55:32.960
<v Speaker 2>Also, but what I would like and this has happened

0:55:32.960 --> 0:55:34.760
<v Speaker 2>once in my life before, and I liked that setup.

0:55:34.800 --> 0:55:39.440
<v Speaker 3>I like having men just all casual men and differentations rotation,

0:55:39.600 --> 0:55:40.160
<v Speaker 3>different New.

0:55:40.120 --> 0:55:44.319
<v Speaker 2>York, La, Spain, London, just different guys to have sex

0:55:44.360 --> 0:55:46.160
<v Speaker 2>with and real fun, flirty.

0:55:46.520 --> 0:55:48.040
<v Speaker 3>No like, no serious commitment.

0:55:48.080 --> 0:55:49.439
<v Speaker 2>If I fall in love with one of them, great,

0:55:49.440 --> 0:55:51.600
<v Speaker 2>then that could become a serious commitment. But to go,

0:55:52.040 --> 0:55:53.759
<v Speaker 2>And she and I started laughing because I thought as

0:55:53.760 --> 0:55:54.719
<v Speaker 2>soon as I said that she was.

0:55:54.680 --> 0:55:55.000
<v Speaker 3>Going to go.

0:55:55.560 --> 0:55:57.440
<v Speaker 2>First of all, no one really wants that. And she's like,

0:55:57.640 --> 0:56:00.520
<v Speaker 2>that sounds awesome. She's like, that's it's alsome. I go,

0:56:00.640 --> 0:56:03.440
<v Speaker 2>that's exactly what I want. I want fun and flirty

0:56:03.760 --> 0:56:05.919
<v Speaker 2>and light and like you go and you have fun

0:56:05.960 --> 0:56:08.439
<v Speaker 2>with someone and you're not stuck with them long enough

0:56:08.480 --> 0:56:10.560
<v Speaker 2>for anybody to get on each other's nerves, you know

0:56:10.560 --> 0:56:12.960
<v Speaker 2>what I mean. That's how I would like to And

0:56:13.000 --> 0:56:15.480
<v Speaker 2>when I'm single and I have money and I can

0:56:15.520 --> 0:56:17.239
<v Speaker 2>do what I want, there's no reason I shouldn't be

0:56:17.320 --> 0:56:17.600
<v Speaker 2>doing that.

0:56:18.040 --> 0:56:19.840
<v Speaker 3>You know, I don't want this body to go to waste.

0:56:20.560 --> 0:56:22.000
<v Speaker 5>I mean, so why are you and why aren't you

0:56:22.000 --> 0:56:22.880
<v Speaker 5>doing that? I am doing that?

0:56:22.920 --> 0:56:24.480
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So so you have a perfect life, Yeah, I

0:56:24.520 --> 0:56:27.440
<v Speaker 2>started doing that as soon as I talked to my therapist. Okay, okay,

0:56:27.800 --> 0:56:29.719
<v Speaker 2>And just to clarify at the end of this episode,

0:56:29.760 --> 0:56:31.560
<v Speaker 2>I would just like to clarify that zea Way, I

0:56:31.600 --> 0:56:34.160
<v Speaker 2>did fall for her bullshit. But she's thirty one, so

0:56:34.200 --> 0:56:38.040
<v Speaker 2>she's not nineteen. She's half of she's half, she's twice

0:56:38.160 --> 0:56:38.960
<v Speaker 2>as whatever.

0:56:39.080 --> 0:56:40.560
<v Speaker 3>You get the drift older than that.

0:56:40.640 --> 0:56:43.920
<v Speaker 2>Nineteen times two is not thirty one. Okay, Well that's it.

0:56:44.000 --> 0:56:46.399
<v Speaker 3>That's for that. Well that was an episode. Yes, yes,

0:56:46.960 --> 0:56:49.120
<v Speaker 3>thank you zee Way for being here today. Its very

0:56:49.200 --> 0:56:49.880
<v Speaker 3>nice to meet you.

0:56:50.160 --> 0:56:52.439
<v Speaker 5>Thank you for having me Chelsea. You're an icon, You're

0:56:52.600 --> 0:56:55.719
<v Speaker 5>legend Chelsea lately Chelsea presently.

0:56:55.920 --> 0:56:56.680
<v Speaker 3>Yes, thank you.

0:56:58.000 --> 0:57:01.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay, So show dates coming up Canadian These are for Canadians, guys.

0:57:01.600 --> 0:57:07.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm coming January nineteenth, Edmonton January twentieth, Saskatoon February ninth.

0:57:07.160 --> 0:57:10.120
<v Speaker 2>I'll be in Winnipeg February twenty third. Calgary that is

0:57:10.160 --> 0:57:13.799
<v Speaker 2>almost sold out, so get your tickets. Victoria, BC is

0:57:14.000 --> 0:57:17.400
<v Speaker 2>March eighth. March ninth is Colowna, also almost sold out.

0:57:17.560 --> 0:57:19.640
<v Speaker 2>Not sure if I'm adding second shows yet because of

0:57:19.640 --> 0:57:22.959
<v Speaker 2>my schedule. Vancouver is March twenty ninth.

0:57:23.000 --> 0:57:24.360
<v Speaker 3>And that is almost sold out.

0:57:24.720 --> 0:57:27.040
<v Speaker 2>Then i will be in Salt Lake City April fourth

0:57:27.120 --> 0:57:31.360
<v Speaker 2>and Denver April fifth. I'm coming to Arizona at Maricopa

0:57:31.440 --> 0:57:35.600
<v Speaker 2>April twelfth. April thirteen, I'll be in Brooks, California at

0:57:35.640 --> 0:57:38.000
<v Speaker 2>the Cash Creek Casino. And then I'm going to be

0:57:38.080 --> 0:57:43.160
<v Speaker 2>in Santa Rosa Sunday, April fourteenth. I'm coming to Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore,

0:57:43.240 --> 0:57:48.840
<v Speaker 2>Maryland on April twentieth, Gary, Indiana, Prior Lake, Minnesota. Coming

0:57:48.880 --> 0:57:53.200
<v Speaker 2>to Oklahoma Norman, Oklahoma on May third and May fourth.

0:57:53.200 --> 0:57:56.880
<v Speaker 2>I will be in Thackerville, Oklahoma for my rescheduled Windstar

0:57:56.960 --> 0:57:58.040
<v Speaker 2>World Casino date.

0:57:58.600 --> 0:57:59.240
<v Speaker 3>I'm coming to.

0:57:59.240 --> 0:58:03.479
<v Speaker 2>Englewood, cal Saturday, May eleventh at the YouTube Theater.

0:58:03.680 --> 0:58:05.960
<v Speaker 3>This is for the Netflix Is a Joke Festival.

0:58:06.280 --> 0:58:09.680
<v Speaker 2>I'll be performing with Fortune, Fimestir and Matteo Lane and

0:58:09.720 --> 0:58:13.440
<v Speaker 2>Samjay and Vanessa Gonzalez. And then i will be in Verona,

0:58:13.480 --> 0:58:16.479
<v Speaker 2>New York on May twenty sixth, and then I'm coming

0:58:16.480 --> 0:58:21.480
<v Speaker 2>to Australia in July and New Zealand July fifth, Auckland

0:58:22.000 --> 0:58:24.480
<v Speaker 2>and I'm coming to Wellington, New Zealand.

0:58:24.240 --> 0:58:26.960
<v Speaker 3>Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney, and then.

0:58:27.480 --> 0:58:31.440
<v Speaker 2>Thursday, August first, which is a long way away and

0:58:31.520 --> 0:58:34.040
<v Speaker 2>a date I am just seeing that I am not

0:58:34.120 --> 0:58:37.400
<v Speaker 2>ready to announce. Okay, so those are all my dates

0:58:37.400 --> 0:58:40.040
<v Speaker 2>for that are up and available, So get your tickets.

0:58:40.040 --> 0:58:43.160
<v Speaker 3>I can't wait to see you. Yeah, that's it.

0:58:44.320 --> 0:58:46.720
<v Speaker 1>If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

0:58:46.760 --> 0:58:49.600
<v Speaker 1>at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

0:58:49.600 --> 0:58:52.680
<v Speaker 1>sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

0:58:52.680 --> 0:58:56.320
<v Speaker 1>and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Catherine Law and

0:58:56.400 --> 0:58:58.840
<v Speaker 1>be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

0:58:58.840 --> 0:59:01.400
<v Speaker 1>com