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Speaker 1: Hi Catherine, Hi Chelsea.

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Speaker 2: Can you see my background in Whistler? Do you see

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Speaker 2: how beautiful it is here? It's a snow blizzard.

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Speaker 3: It's a blizzard.

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Speaker 1: It's like the snow is falling so softly behind you.

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Speaker 1: It looks like a quaint little town because there's snow

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Speaker 1: on the rooftime it.

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Speaker 3: Is it is.

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Speaker 2: Do you know I first saw I'm sick. I'm still

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Speaker 2: sick from the last time I saw you. I've been

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Speaker 2: sick for a month straight.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what. I think. I have monkey pocks.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what is wrong with me.

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Speaker 2: So excuse my sniffling everyone, but I can't get well.

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Speaker 2: And you know what the cutest thing was yesterday what

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Speaker 2: my friends. I was having dinner with my girlfriends here.

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Speaker 2: I have a crew here, you know. My whole family

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Speaker 2: was here for a week, and then my two my

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Speaker 2: nieces stayed here for another five days. And my one

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Speaker 2: niece woke me up at three in the morning. I

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Speaker 2: feel a tap on my shoulder and Seneca's like, Chelsea,

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Speaker 2: I've been throwing up all night. And I was like,

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Speaker 2: what the fuck am I supposed to do about it?

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Speaker 2: And so of course I got up. I'm in my

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Speaker 2: bra and underwear. I put her in my bathroom. She's

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Speaker 2: still throwing up. I'm trying to shove a zofran down

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Speaker 2: her throat. I'm like, here, fucking swallow this. And you know,

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Speaker 2: when someone's bobbiting, you can't, like they can't even drink anything.

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Speaker 2: And I'm sitting on the side of my bathtub in

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Speaker 2: my bra and underwear, and I'm like, thank God, this

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Speaker 2: isn't my life, you know, like I don't even know

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Speaker 2: what to do. So I'm just sitting there watching her vomit.

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Speaker 2: And then I get into my bed and I'm like, okay, Senny,

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Speaker 2: you know, come in my bed. I moved over. She

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Speaker 2: got into my bed and stayed in my bed for

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Speaker 2: twenty four hours, and I'm like, oh, this is what

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Speaker 2: it must be like to be a mother. Yes, but

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Speaker 2: I guess I caught whatever she got. And then my

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Speaker 2: other niece, Charlie was here. She's a dream boat too,

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Speaker 2: She's skiing like a maniac. But we didn't have a

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Speaker 2: lot of snow, and so it was kind of depressing.

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Speaker 2: There was enough snow to ski, but you can't ski

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Speaker 2: in or like to the bottom of the hill, and

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Speaker 2: it was a little light and now we are in

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Speaker 2: full blizzard mode. So as soon as we are done

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Speaker 2: with today's episode, I am getting my boots on and

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Speaker 2: I am taking my sick ass out on the slopes.

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Speaker 1: Amazing. Just drink a lot of bone broth when you

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Speaker 1: get back.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to bring a campbel back of bone broth

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Speaker 2: on the mountain. But I've just been I love it

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Speaker 2: here so much. I can't tell you the unadulterated joy

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Speaker 2: I feel. I'm sitting here. I write my book. Every

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Speaker 2: day I'm write working so hard on my new book.

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Speaker 2: Everyone is going to be well. I mean, I hope

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Speaker 2: everyone's going to love it, because I'm starting to love it.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure they will. Actually, you know what, speaking of books, Well,

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Speaker 1: first of all, I'm curious if you've been reading anything.

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Speaker 1: But I've gotten a few emails asking where people can

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Speaker 1: find the books that we talk about on the show,

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Speaker 1: and I usually try to pop those into the show notes.

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Speaker 1: So for anybody who's wondering where can I am listening

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Speaker 1: in my car and you guys mentioned a book and

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Speaker 1: I don't remember what it was, go ahead and look

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Speaker 1: in the description of the show and you'll usually find

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Speaker 1: the book that we were chatting about.

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Speaker 2: I just started this book that Tanner gave me called

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Speaker 2: Cassantra at the Wedding by Dorothy Baker. Anyway, it's really good.

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Speaker 2: It's about sisters. It's a short book. You know, when

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Speaker 2: I'm writing a book, I don't read as much, so

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Speaker 2: that's been an issue. So this morning I got up

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Speaker 2: and read two chapters of it because I was like,

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Speaker 2: I need to.

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Speaker 3: Be reading while I'm writing.

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Speaker 2: I don't like when I don't read for long periods

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Speaker 2: of time, and when I come to Whistler kind of

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Speaker 2: avoid the news and I avoid, well, all things that

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Speaker 2: are real.

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Speaker 3: So I'm just in like this fantasyland.

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Speaker 1: It's like your Disneyland.

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Speaker 2: I'm coming home tomorrow because no one needs to watch

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Speaker 2: the Critics' Choice Awards on Sunday night that I'm hosting,

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Speaker 2: and I cannot wait.

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Speaker 1: Yay, that's gonna be so exciting.

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Speaker 3: I have watched every single movie. Oh my god, I've won.

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Speaker 2: There are so much horniness in the movies this year.

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Speaker 2: So many penises, so many pres theses.

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Speaker 4: Horniness. Queerness is great. There's tons of horniness, queerness everything.

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Speaker 4: It makes me horny to watch all these movies. I

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Speaker 4: can't wait to get on stage and talk about it.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a favorite or a couple of favorites.

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Speaker 2: Saltburn was pretty twisted, and I like that it was

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Speaker 2: like kind of a modern day talented mister Ripley, you know.

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Speaker 2: It was a little analogous to that. So I liked

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Speaker 2: that a lot. I really liked Oppenheimer. I mean it's

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Speaker 2: really long. Killers of the Flower Moon took me about

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Speaker 2: seven hours to watch it, and it was three and

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Speaker 2: a half hours long because I had to take breaks.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I think Saltburn is the most compelling.

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Speaker 2: I watched Stranger from Us all of us Strangers, yes,

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Speaker 2: all of us strangers.

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Speaker 3: That guy in it, I love him so much.

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Speaker 2: He's so sexy, and it's a really sexy gay love story.

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Speaker 2: And it's nice to be straight and appreciate gay sexy

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Speaker 2: love stories.

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Speaker 1: Yes indeed, and like sometimes they're a little sexier.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I know. I was like, should I master base?

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Speaker 2: I'm like, don't get carried away? And then wait, what

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Speaker 2: else happened?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I have my little baby here, my buddhas you know,

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Speaker 2: Kelly's daughters are here.

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Speaker 3: That's just so fun.

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Speaker 2: I just am like, I love being a stepfather to them,

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Speaker 2: and we announced some new shows. We announced shows in Australia,

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Speaker 2: and we announced a really fun show that I'm doing

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Speaker 2: with Fortune Fimster and Mateo Lane and Sam Jay at

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Speaker 2: the YouTube Theater in May for the Netflix as a

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Speaker 2: Joke Festival in Los Angeles. So get your tickets for

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Speaker 2: that because that's about to sell out and that is

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Speaker 2: going to be a wild night and Vanessa's going to

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Speaker 2: be there as well. And then yeah, I've added five

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Speaker 2: dates in New Zealand and Australia.

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Speaker 3: I have Canadian dates coming up.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be January nineteenth in Edna and then

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Speaker 2: Saskatoon and I'm coming to Colonna all over Winter Vancouver, Colonna, Calgary.

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Speaker 2: So yes, please go to Chelseahandler dot com get your

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Speaker 2: tickets because everything is almost sold out. So maybe I'll

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Speaker 2: be adding second shows, but I'm not sure we'll see

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Speaker 2: I like my winter time.

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Speaker 1: Did you wind up getting a new dog?

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Speaker 3: Did that wind up? Or didn't you know? I rode up?

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Speaker 2: I got that CO two treatment on my face, which

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Speaker 2: we should show a picture of at some point, even

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Speaker 2: though this is a podcast, because I looked like Mike

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Speaker 2: Tyson just got done with me. I got a CO

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Speaker 2: two treatment. I drove from Los Angeles to Whistler.

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Speaker 3: Huh.

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Speaker 2: So it was like two and a half day drive

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Speaker 2: that I cause I took my time. And I stopped

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Speaker 2: in Bend, Oregon to visit a friend of mine, Melissa,

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Speaker 2: and she saw my face and she's like, holy shit,

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Speaker 2: what the fuck did you do? And I was like, listen,

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Speaker 2: I have done a lot of shit in my face.

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Speaker 2: This one was otherworldly. I looked crazy. Not only was

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Speaker 2: I black and blue, I.

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Speaker 3: Was bleeding and swollen.

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Speaker 2: God, and so like this seven top layers of your

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Speaker 2: skin just start peeling off after like day three. So

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Speaker 2: I'm driving and there's just like little gray matter all

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Speaker 2: over my seat, like when your clothes shed Like I

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Speaker 2: was shedding like a reptile. It was so disgusting. But meanwhile,

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Speaker 2: my face is like a baby's ass.

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Speaker 5: Now.

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Speaker 2: Oh, but the skin is so sensitive under my eyes.

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Speaker 2: She really zapped me under my eyes for my crows feet.

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Speaker 2: I like to keep my crows feet around you, notice,

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Speaker 2: to stay grounded.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to botox those or anything.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta just like look like a human.

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Speaker 5: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's a little light, But I am excited about my

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Speaker 2: dresses for this Sunday because they are. I didn't know

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Speaker 2: if I was gonna be able top last year's outfit

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Speaker 2: changes for the Critics' Choice Awards because I was really

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Speaker 2: happy with my dresses last year, and you know, I

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Speaker 2: don't really give a shit that much about clothing, but

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Speaker 2: I am fucking banging it out again this year.

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Speaker 1: It looks so good last year. Are you able to

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Speaker 1: give us like a preview of like, are they Barkley?

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Speaker 1: Do you have color all the abode?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 2: I don't wear sparkles, Catherine. You know better than that.

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Speaker 2: I don't wear sparkles. Like I like color one color,

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Speaker 2: one dress, and I like to show.

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Speaker 3: My body off.

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Speaker 1: There you go, my bottom, My choice excellent, Chelsea. Are

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Speaker 1: you Are you a resolutions person? Is that something that

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Speaker 1: you get into at the beginning of the year.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm not. I mean I think it's I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I don't like when everybody's doing everything is something you know,

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Speaker 2: you know how I feel about trendiness. I don't like

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Speaker 2: New Year's resolutions. I just get better every year, and

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Speaker 2: we all should be getting better every year.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, That's what I kind of realized a few years ago.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I would set these like grandiose resolutions, and

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Speaker 1: then I would realize at the end of the year, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I actually like started doing a few of those things,

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Speaker 1: even though I thought I didn't do the resolution because

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Speaker 1: I didn't I wasn't real strict about it. But like

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Speaker 1: after a few years, I'm like, oh, I'm actually like

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Speaker 1: doing these things I wanted to do on a regular pas.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean we can always. I mean, I'm

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Speaker 3: always just trying to improve.

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Speaker 2: I mean sometimes I take a couple of breaks, you know,

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Speaker 2: but I've been better, Like I had family around me

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Speaker 2: for three weeks straight. I had guests and family because

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Speaker 2: I had some friends come up too, And you know,

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Speaker 2: I did that in my Orca this summer, and I

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Speaker 2: just know my patience has gotten so much better. You know,

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Speaker 2: when they leave, I do have to take like a

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Speaker 2: Xanax and sleep for fucking twelve hours or actually I

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Speaker 2: slept for twenty hours the other day.

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Speaker 3: I woke up, took some night well and went right

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Speaker 3: back to sleep. Perfect.

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Speaker 2: But you know, my patience has got is improved. My

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Speaker 2: self awareness is on point. I'm aware, I'm calm, I

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Speaker 2: don't yell at people anymore.

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Speaker 3: So like I'm I'm happy with myself. That's really good.

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Speaker 1: And I would imagine too, like, since your patience has

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Speaker 1: gotten better, everyone around you is having a better time,

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Speaker 1: but you're also having a better time.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I'm having a better time, and I'm also enjoying.

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Speaker 4: You know.

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Speaker 2: I always used to like imagine when I was younger,

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Speaker 2: the kind of aunt I would be, Like I wanted

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Speaker 2: to be this like bad ass woman that my nieces

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Speaker 2: and nephew's looked up to and came to.

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Speaker 3: And that's happening.

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Speaker 2: They come to me for advice, and they tell me secrets,

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Speaker 2: and they tell me things that they don't tell their moms.

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Speaker 2: And my sisters are probably both listening and wondering what.

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Speaker 2: But that, you know, it makes me feel so good

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Speaker 2: to like have these relationships in my life with children,

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Speaker 2: and at this age because they're all getting older now,

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Speaker 2: you know, they're not like eighteen, nineteen, twenty somethings, and

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Speaker 2: now we can have like adult relationships, and I just

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Speaker 2: I love that. And I my relationship with my sisters

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Speaker 2: has always been really good. And I had a great

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Speaker 2: time with my brother this year. I mean, there were

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Speaker 2: a lot of mushrooms going around in our family, A

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Speaker 2: lot of mushrooms, a lot of edibles were that kind

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Speaker 2: of family. We had a dinner out where it was

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Speaker 2: just a complete disaster. We could not stop laughing for

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Speaker 2: about three hours. So, I mean, this is kind of

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Speaker 2: what I dreamt about, you know, Like I wanted, I

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Speaker 2: wanted a big family like this, but I didn't want

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Speaker 2: to make one, and I have one, you know, Like

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to make my own, but I took

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Speaker 2: what I had and we all like come together and

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Speaker 2: we have. There's so many of us now with the

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Speaker 2: kids and their boyfriends and their girlfriends, and it's just awesome.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think when you imagine something the way you

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Speaker 1: had been, you see it in your minds eye, it's

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Speaker 1: so much more likely to come to fruition to actually happen,

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Speaker 1: you know, and yeah, made that happen in your life.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's a it's you know, manifestation can sound

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Speaker 2: like such a corny word sometimes because it's like, but

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Speaker 2: so many of the things that have happened in my

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Speaker 2: life are have been manifested by me unconsciously or subconsciously,

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Speaker 2: you know, like I've just always envisioned. Okay, you know,

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Speaker 2: when I grow up, I want to have a skihouse.

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Speaker 2: I want to have this, I want to do.

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Speaker 3: These things, like you know, and and and to feel

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Speaker 3: really secure. I feel very.

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Speaker 2: Secure and I feel calm. I've started working with a

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Speaker 2: new therapist, a woman. Fun yeah, because I wanted some

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Speaker 2: like feedback on some things, and so it felt really good.

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Speaker 3: To reach out to a new therapist.

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Speaker 2: That felt really empowering to know that I needed someone

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Speaker 2: to talk to that was outside of my circle. And

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Speaker 2: I've been working with her and she's a real like

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Speaker 2: very different than my previous therapist, which is good because

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Speaker 2: I you know, I've I did that and I wanted

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Speaker 2: something different and a different fresh eyes on something.

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Speaker 3: And so that's been good.

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Speaker 2: And my kind of approach with everything like romantic liaisons

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Speaker 2: and men and all of it, I have. I feel

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Speaker 2: really good about all of that stuff that's happening too,

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Speaker 2: Like I'm open to love, but I really like I'm

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Speaker 2: also open to casual encounters with lots of different men.

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Speaker 2: And there's nothing wrong with that. They're like, that's fun

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Speaker 2: to have a guy in a place and to have

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Speaker 2: another guy in another place, and to be honest and upfront,

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Speaker 2: never lie about what you're up to, but to have

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Speaker 2: an understanding like, yeah, we're friends and we're going to

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Speaker 2: have sex. And we're friends and we're gonna have sex,

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Speaker 2: and this is going to be a romantic relationship and

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Speaker 2: it's not going to be exclusive. But if someone does

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Speaker 2: come along and I feel that strongly about it, I

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Speaker 2: will enter into a monogamous relationship. But I also just

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Speaker 2: want to use my body and share it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, how great is it to be just

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Speaker 1: like living in the moment where you're at being like cool,

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Speaker 1: whatever comes my way that's positive, feels right, let's do that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so excuse me.

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Speaker 2: I just took a sip of my bone broth at

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Speaker 2: my friend. Oh and so yesterday I was sick. I

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Speaker 2: was supposed to go to dinner with like six of

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Speaker 2: my girlfriends here, and I arranged it and then canceled.

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Speaker 2: I was like, can you guys go without me? I'm

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Speaker 2: just spreading germs basically, right, And then three of them

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Speaker 2: came over with soup, Like three different people dropped off

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Speaker 2: lentil soup, bone broth, and then this sky brought me flowers.

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Speaker 3: I was like, what this is like my little village

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Speaker 3: of happiness? Yes, you have community there, I do, I do.

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Speaker 2: I feel so loved I just it feels so nice.

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Speaker 2: I'm soaking it all up.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's wonderful. I think something it's not really a resolution,

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Speaker 1: but something I want to be more intentional about this

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Speaker 1: year is interacting in community and sort of like getting

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Speaker 1: off of my screens, which I've pretty successfully done this

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Speaker 1: last year. Like I don't keep Instagram on my phone

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Speaker 1: just because otherwise I just keep going to it, but

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Speaker 1: getting off of screens and getting into real life, so

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Speaker 1: like rather having a zoom, going in person scheduling. You know,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to trivia night tonight with some of my girlfriends,

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Speaker 1: that sort of thing. So trying to be intentional.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's nice. That's nice too. I mean, it's always

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Speaker 2: nice to be off your phone. I don't spend nearly

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Speaker 2: as much time on my phone as I do when

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Speaker 2: I'm home here when I'm here because when you're skiing,

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Speaker 2: you're not sitting there looking at.

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Speaker 3: Your phone, right, And that feels good too. I don't

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Speaker 3: want to be like that.

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Speaker 2: It says I got a thing on my phone that

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Speaker 2: says your screen use time has gone down thirty seven percent.

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Speaker 2: Oh that's from last week, and it keeps saying that

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Speaker 2: every week. It keeps going down. I'm like, exactly, that's it.

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Speaker 2: And Bernice and Bernice, Bernice, I'm missing the whole point.

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Speaker 3: Bernice is this We Bernice and I.

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Speaker 2: Are bonding like it's nobody's fucking business. Bernice, I res

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Speaker 2: I took up with me to drive because I thought

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Speaker 2: I was going to rescue that other dog. We went

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Speaker 2: to the rescue. The dog bit me, so I was like, Okay, well,

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Speaker 2: obviously I can't.

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Speaker 3: Get this dog.

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Speaker 2: But by the way, what business do I have having

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Speaker 2: more than one dog? Anyway, Bernice is all I can handle,

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Speaker 2: and every she piece twice a day, and that's the

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Speaker 2: schedule I'm on.

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Speaker 3: So she is so cute.

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Speaker 2: She sleeps in bed with me, She follows me around

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Speaker 2: because she doesn't know where the fuck she is she is.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I can't wait to see what happens when

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Speaker 2: we bring her back at the end of winter and

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Speaker 2: see how she reacts when she sees Felix, because I mean,

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Speaker 2: she'll probably drop me like a hot potato.

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Speaker 3: But we are bonding.

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00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:20,880
Speaker 2: She gets into bed with me on her own, she

341
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Speaker 2: cut and then she comes in when she wants to pee.

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Speaker 2: She taps me on the shoulder and she's like, come on,

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Speaker 2: let's go with.

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Speaker 3: Her, paw. I mean, I'm like, oh my god.

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Speaker 2: And the other day I was walking around I posted

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Speaker 2: this on Instagram. I took her for a walk and

347
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Speaker 2: this little kid was on his balcony and he goes.

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Speaker 4: Daddy, daddy, come outside, there's a little baby bear.

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Speaker 2: I mean, everyone stops to talk to her, which is also,

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Speaker 2: you know, very annoying.

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Speaker 1: Right right, It's like, oh, this is so fun. And

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Speaker 1: then you're like, too many people.

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Speaker 2: I'm not looking for any extra any extra attention or conversation.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, back off, back off.

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Speaker 1: She does fully look like a bear, like she looks

356
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Speaker 1: like she should be hibernating.

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Speaker 3: I know, she's so fucking cute, so sweet.

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Speaker 1: Well, should we introduce our guest today?

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, we have a guest today whose book is

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Speaker 2: called Black Friend and she had a very funny show

361
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,760
Speaker 2: on Showtime called ze Way and that's her name, zee Way.

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Speaker 2: So please welcome this hot potato ze Way. Oh okay,

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Speaker 2: your time, take your time?

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Speaker 5: Sorry, why honey, how are.

365
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:31,760
Speaker 3: You are you good? Good? Let's get yeah, yeah, sit down,

366
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Speaker 3: let's go, bitch. Are you fucking ready? I'm ready to go.

367
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,680
Speaker 5: Let's do it. Look no, I'm good raw dogging it?

368
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,440
Speaker 3: Oh, I love a raw dog.

369
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,360
Speaker 5: I look at a little moist. It's okay.

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Speaker 3: This is Catherine, she's on the thing. How are you doing?

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Speaker 1: I'm great? How are you?

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00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,840
Speaker 5: I'm great? I'm chilling. I'm coming from an interview with

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Speaker 5: Penn Badgley of you Slash Gossip Girlfriends.

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Speaker 1: Oh.

375
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:56,600
Speaker 5: Yes, he has a podcast as well. So I just did.

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Speaker 3: Oh oh good and how was that? It was great?

377
00:15:58,480 --> 00:15:59,080
Speaker 5: I can't complain.

378
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:00,680
Speaker 3: Okay, great, great?

379
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:01,920
Speaker 5: Of course. How are you doing today?

380
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:02,080
Speaker 1: Hi?

381
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:03,000
Speaker 5: Many people? Did you interview?

382
00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,480
Speaker 3: R I've interviewed one person so far. Yeah.

383
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:07,320
Speaker 2: But I can't stop clearing my throat today. It's almost

384
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 2: like I smoked a joint last night. But I didn't,

385
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:12,640
Speaker 2: and I don't smoke joints specifically because I hate fucking going.

386
00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not cute.

387
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:17,360
Speaker 3: So I don't know what happened, and I'm irritated. You know.

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00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,680
Speaker 5: I'm sorry. I would offer you a lossage, but I

389
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:20,040
Speaker 5: don't have.

390
00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:22,040
Speaker 2: You don't know, well, of course you don't have a

391
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,440
Speaker 2: lossage on you. Why would you?

392
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Speaker 3: You know?

393
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,880
Speaker 5: Sometimes I travel with cough drops, but not today.

394
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:28,520
Speaker 3: We have a lot in common, we do, We have

395
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Speaker 3: a lot.

396
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:33,000
Speaker 2: We're both blonde, yeah, we're both white, blonde, big breasted women.

397
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,200
Speaker 5: Oh yes, BBW is what they call me.

398
00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:38,400
Speaker 3: So that's what I've been calling you behind your back. Actually,

399
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,240
Speaker 3: thank you. So I first heard.

400
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,840
Speaker 2: About you when you had your show on Showtime called

401
00:16:42,920 --> 00:16:46,240
Speaker 2: ze Way, and they were trying to book me on

402
00:16:46,360 --> 00:16:49,440
Speaker 2: the show, and my publicist at the time was so

403
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,960
Speaker 2: confused about the format of the show that she goes,

404
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,440
Speaker 2: I just don't feel comfortable sending you here because it

405
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,520
Speaker 2: seems like a setup show. And I said, I can

406
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,640
Speaker 2: handle a fucking setup show, Like I'm not worried about

407
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,040
Speaker 2: someone setting me up and catching me out, Like what

408
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:02,920
Speaker 2: I mean.

409
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,439
Speaker 3: It's already out out there. Wow, and so and then

410
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:06,239
Speaker 3: I never did it.

411
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,880
Speaker 2: But then I was watching your show and I had

412
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,920
Speaker 2: forgotten that I was, and then I was like, oh,

413
00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:10,840
Speaker 2: I wanted to do you.

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00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,120
Speaker 3: I would have totally loved it, really great.

415
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Speaker 5: And by the way, I used to watch you every

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Speaker 5: day after school on Chelsea lately. I love that show.

417
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:21,080
Speaker 5: So it would have been such a fun meeting of

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Speaker 5: the minds. But you know what next, I have to.

419
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:25,919
Speaker 3: Do it next exactly. And how was that show for you?

420
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:28,480
Speaker 5: It was? It was wild? I know, yeah, it was wild.

421
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,400
Speaker 5: I mean, what was the nicest part of that show

422
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:34,520
Speaker 5: was that the guests were so uniquely different, like Andrew

423
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,280
Speaker 5: Yang versus like Chet Hanks versus friendly boys, Like they're

424
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,200
Speaker 5: all so desparate. So I felt like I was learning

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00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:41,520
Speaker 5: a lot about American culture.

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00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:44,399
Speaker 2: Oh right, you needed an update on America. Yeah, just

427
00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:46,280
Speaker 2: like a heat check, like okay, what's popping?

428
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:47,199
Speaker 3: Okay?

429
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:53,119
Speaker 2: And so I read that you studied Oprah's interviews to

430
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,879
Speaker 2: see who you wanted on your show, or did you

431
00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,359
Speaker 2: study her interviews to see how to interview people?

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Speaker 5: I mean, I definitely think Oprah was really good at

433
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 5: capturing like sensational interviews, Like they were always so ecstatical.

434
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,720
Speaker 5: Even the Tom Cruise is like such a lightning in

435
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,199
Speaker 5: the bottle that interview, And so she really taught me

436
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:15,480
Speaker 5: the value of like creating a moment with the guest. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: so that's something that I really Also, she would interview

438
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,159
Speaker 5: a wide plethora of people, So she talked to like

439
00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,520
Speaker 5: Tom Cruise or a different celebrity, Tony Braxen, and then

440
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,879
Speaker 5: she'd talk to like, oh, the mother of a serial killer,

441
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,040
Speaker 5: and it'd be like all in the same episode. So

442
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,920
Speaker 5: she had really wide range. But she's a journalism background,

443
00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:33,120
Speaker 5: so I think that was really important.

444
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:36,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and she also is a great fucking listener. Yeah

445
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:36,920
Speaker 2: that's so good.

446
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,920
Speaker 3: Okay. Yeah, when she's interested, you're interested.

447
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:43,160
Speaker 2: And that's actually the key ingredient I believe for anyone

448
00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,680
Speaker 2: to do a decent interview is to actually fucking listen

449
00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:47,680
Speaker 2: and stop thinking about what you're going to be saying.

450
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,840
Speaker 2: And it sometimes takes a long time to relax enough

451
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,960
Speaker 2: into that. Like I was talking to a friend of

452
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,879
Speaker 2: mine who has a TV show or has had several

453
00:18:54,880 --> 00:18:57,120
Speaker 2: TV shows, and he's a talk show host and I've

454
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:59,160
Speaker 2: been a talk show host, and we were at drinks

455
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:02,320
Speaker 2: last night and he was saying, it's funny when you

456
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,919
Speaker 2: you haven't done it for a little bit and then

457
00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:06,520
Speaker 2: you do it, there's a rustiness that comes with it

458
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,520
Speaker 2: because like, you can do it for many years and

459
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,840
Speaker 2: you think it's like in your pocket, but then you

460
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,119
Speaker 2: actually need to warm it up again because like talking

461
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,719
Speaker 2: and interviewing people. I feel like I interview people wherever

462
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,800
Speaker 2: I go. If you got dinner, I interview them. I

463
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,560
Speaker 2: can't stop with the questions, and then I will badger

464
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:23,639
Speaker 2: them if they don't, you know, if they're shy or

465
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:24,400
Speaker 2: they're resistant.

466
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,800
Speaker 3: I go in harder, oh really, more curious about what

467
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,760
Speaker 3: they're what's up? You know, what their story?

468
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:30,560
Speaker 5: What are you hiding?

469
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 2: Because there's a natural curiosity, right, that you have with people?

470
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,280
Speaker 2: I mean I might have an unnatural curiosity because I

471
00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:37,920
Speaker 2: like to get involved in people's business.

472
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 3: Do you feel that way?

473
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,560
Speaker 5: I gues and no, Like I like to mind my business.

474
00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 5: I like to let people tell me things on their own.

475
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:47,560
Speaker 5: And that's part of why people feel comfortable. Maybe is

476
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,760
Speaker 5: because I will sit quietly and that is enough to

477
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 5: make people feel uncomfortable enough to speak.

478
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:55,159
Speaker 3: I see. So a very different approach.

479
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,520
Speaker 5: Different approach. Yeah, I won't like corner someone and be like,

480
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,919
Speaker 5: tell me your life secrets, but maybe I should on

481
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:02,800
Speaker 5: like I'm really I want to see what that tactic

482
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:03,400
Speaker 5: does well.

483
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:07,000
Speaker 2: There's also like an anthropological element to interviewing, right. It's

484
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:10,119
Speaker 2: also just like you're trying to understand everybody, where everybody's

485
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:12,480
Speaker 2: coming from. And I always give I noticed when I'm

486
00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,800
Speaker 2: talking to people and I'm curious about them, Like I

487
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,000
Speaker 2: always think there's some big mystery behind everybody, and sometimes

488
00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,880
Speaker 2: more oftentimes there isn't you know what I mean?

489
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,240
Speaker 3: People are pretty fucking basic.

490
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 2: So sometimes you're like creating this story in your head

491
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,679
Speaker 2: where you think somebody's gonna like reveal some thing or

492
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,480
Speaker 2: you're wondering a lot about it, and it's really not

493
00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:30,360
Speaker 2: that complicated.

494
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:33,840
Speaker 5: I feel like for me, it's about connection, Like what

495
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:37,040
Speaker 5: do we have in common? Like as disparate as we seem, like,

496
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 5: what is the thing that we can come together on?

497
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,679
Speaker 5: And that is how I find gold?

498
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,959
Speaker 3: And what's your background? So where did you grow up?

499
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:44,800
Speaker 5: Massachusetts?

500
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:45,240
Speaker 3: Okay?

501
00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 5: Where are you from?

502
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:49,000
Speaker 3: I'm from Jersey, Jersey's right, yeah? And you live in

503
00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:50,960
Speaker 3: la or New York, New York. Oh yeah, you know

504
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,680
Speaker 3: you texted me about your chouse. Yah, yes, you get

505
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:54,160
Speaker 3: your chouse.

506
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:54,400
Speaker 2: Yes?

507
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,719
Speaker 5: And he is so sweet, so cute. I dropped him

508
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:57,639
Speaker 5: off at daycare today.

509
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,320
Speaker 3: What color is he? Black? Oh?

510
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,120
Speaker 5: I want a black He is so sweet. Oh, they're

511
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:04,640
Speaker 5: so they're quiet and clean.

512
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 3: I know, you know what.

513
00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,880
Speaker 2: They don't bark and they don't fucking want anything. No,

514
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,440
Speaker 2: don't you just love their faces in the way that.

515
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:12,320
Speaker 3: They like it's really good? Yeah?

516
00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,399
Speaker 2: And then the lips that come down like I can't

517
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,440
Speaker 2: control myself and I have a little one at home.

518
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:18,879
Speaker 5: Oh, chow as well?

519
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I only have chiws. Let me show you Bernice. Sorry,

520
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,640
Speaker 2: I know that the listeners can't hear this, but it's.

521
00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,480
Speaker 5: Well they can see it on your social Can I

522
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,720
Speaker 5: tell a story about chow chows as you search?

523
00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,520
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, but that's Bernice.

524
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,919
Speaker 5: Oh my god god. Okay, so she's groomed, she's kinda cut,

525
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 5: short cut. Yeah, she's so sweet, hot is she?

526
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:37,360
Speaker 3: She's like eleven or twelve. Her brother died last year.

527
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,879
Speaker 2: And I like older dogs because I'm good at transitioning

528
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,480
Speaker 2: them from that age to death, you know, like that's

529
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 2: my sweet spot. Like I want them to feel loved

530
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:48,040
Speaker 2: and attention. And I also they're gonna No one's gonna

531
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 2: get a five year old dog. And usually when dogs

532
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,359
Speaker 2: are around me for a few years, they tend to

533
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:53,000
Speaker 2: pass away.

534
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 5: Wow.

535
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:56,840
Speaker 2: Wow, my housekeeper like she has Bernice when I'm on

536
00:21:56,880 --> 00:22:00,760
Speaker 2: the road. So she is like only Spanish speaking now nice.

537
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 5: Oh that's so funny.

538
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:05,239
Speaker 3: Spanish a little bit now to communicate with her.

539
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 5: I love that.

540
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,200
Speaker 3: Okay, tell us your child story.

541
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,520
Speaker 5: Oh well, my child story. This is not my personal chold,

542
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,679
Speaker 5: but so the chow chow basically like in ancient China,

543
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 5: the emperor was like Okay, what dog can kill a bear?

544
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,720
Speaker 5: And they brought them thirteen different dogs and he's like, okay,

545
00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:21,919
Speaker 5: this dog, chow Chow is the cutest, and so that

546
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:24,480
Speaker 5: he made that the official child chow dog and he

547
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 5: had like three thousand and they would like hunt and

548
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 5: kill people and like be warriors.

549
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:30,000
Speaker 3: The Chowchow, the chow chow.

550
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,320
Speaker 5: Google that. Oh my fun fact, the real beautiful dogs

551
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,160
Speaker 5: and their killers.

552
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,200
Speaker 2: I I was going to rescue this other big fat

553
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,920
Speaker 2: nugget that I found. Oh he was a big fat

554
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,360
Speaker 2: chunky but he nipped at me twice. And the guy

555
00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:44,000
Speaker 2: said he's gonna nip at everyone he goes, that's his personality.

556
00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:45,840
Speaker 2: I'm like, well, that's not gonna work. I have too

557
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,560
Speaker 2: many people coming through my house. I can't have him

558
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,560
Speaker 2: biting everybody, because you know, somebody, I don't care if

559
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,919
Speaker 2: a dog nips at me or bites me. Really, I

560
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,199
Speaker 2: really don't unless it's like, you know, a lunatic and

561
00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,880
Speaker 2: it's like carving up my body. But I don't mind

562
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,200
Speaker 2: a little bite. But most people get freaked out by that.

563
00:22:59,280 --> 00:23:01,240
Speaker 5: You know, I've I've never been bitten by a dog.

564
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:02,960
Speaker 5: I'm gonna be honest, how did you get into chow

565
00:23:03,040 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 5: chouse beautiful like research and realizing that they were the

566
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 5: dog of Chinese emperors. I identify as an empress, so

567
00:23:11,359 --> 00:23:13,320
Speaker 5: so I decided that this was a dog for me.

568
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,720
Speaker 5: I also honestly love the temperament of like quiet and clean,

569
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 5: like barking gives me an ageda and so it was

570
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:24,120
Speaker 5: really something that I needed from my my roommate.

571
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 2: Well, fucking barking is so fucking annoying. People have dogs

572
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,959
Speaker 2: at bark. I want those dogs to shut the fuck up,

573
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,840
Speaker 2: and I want other things to happen to those dogs.

574
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:33,080
Speaker 6: Do that.

575
00:23:33,119 --> 00:23:35,239
Speaker 2: I won't say no, no, I won't say it on

576
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 2: air because it's it's obviously not nice, but and I

577
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 2: don't mean it, but I just barking is so annoying

578
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 2: and it's just such a bad quality.

579
00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:43,679
Speaker 3: You know.

580
00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:46,040
Speaker 5: I spend a lot of time with my dog, like

581
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 5: like I spent because I'm I write all the time,

582
00:23:48,320 --> 00:23:50,639
Speaker 5: so my dog and me writing, and so if my

583
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,120
Speaker 5: dog was barking, I don't think I could get any

584
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,440
Speaker 5: writing done. But dogs at bark. Hey, God bless you.

585
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:57,479
Speaker 5: We love Peta.

586
00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,640
Speaker 2: I mean, Peta doesn't love me, Peter, will you fucking

587
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:02,600
Speaker 2: And they asked the minute you do something wrong, they

588
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,560
Speaker 2: will come back there. They act like they're your best friends.

589
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,680
Speaker 2: When you rescue your dog and then they're like, ah,

590
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,960
Speaker 2: we saw you on your playing with your dog to

591
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,520
Speaker 2: whatever is that appropriate to fly a dog fourteen hours?

592
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 3: I'm like, back the fuck up.

593
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:15,120
Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, I'm.

594
00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 2: Like, listen, my dog and I are traveling together. Back

595
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 2: it up. So you grew up in Massachusetts, yes, and

596
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:22,359
Speaker 2: then how many brothers and sisters do you do?

597
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 5: Siblings when older one younger they're both boys, okay, a girl,

598
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:26,440
Speaker 5: a middle child.

599
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 3: Okay, so you're a middle child. That doesn't really track.

600
00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 5: What do you mean because usually.

601
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,199
Speaker 2: It's the youngest of siblings that are in this business really,

602
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,399
Speaker 2: especially in the role that you play, Because like, for

603
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 2: people who haven't seen your show on Showtime, I want

604
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 2: you to describe what the premise is.

605
00:24:41,359 --> 00:24:44,359
Speaker 5: The premise of my show is that I interview guests

606
00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:47,360
Speaker 5: and I bait them into saying uncomfortable things. And it's

607
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,640
Speaker 5: pulled from this like this hardened trope that we see

608
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 5: in like Fox News where they would talk to like

609
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,200
Speaker 5: Barack Obama and accuse him of wearing a tan suit

610
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:59,600
Speaker 5: and how that was to the destruction of democracy and

611
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,199
Speaker 5: similar I kind of take my guests at their worst

612
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:06,120
Speaker 5: word possible and exploit that for comedic.

613
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:07,560
Speaker 2: Relief, and then how does that work out for the

614
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 2: guest comedically?

615
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:10,640
Speaker 3: Does it?

616
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 5: It's I mean, yes, it's chaotic, it's funny, but every

617
00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:15,560
Speaker 5: guest is like a consenting adult. They know what's they know,

618
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 5: they're briefed entirely on what's going to happen. And the

619
00:25:19,040 --> 00:25:20,560
Speaker 5: people who do the best on the shows are the

620
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,320
Speaker 5: ones who sort of surrender to that chaos and like

621
00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 5: like double down on it.

622
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 3: Yeah. I like that format. It's very new. Thank you

623
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:28,280
Speaker 3: and original.

624
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,800
Speaker 5: Thank you. Yeah, I mean, I you know, I never

625
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,400
Speaker 5: thought I would say Tucker Callson inspired me, but here

626
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:33,720
Speaker 5: I am.

627
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 3: I know he is such an inspiration. Let's talk about

628
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,680
Speaker 3: your book a little. You wrote essays. Yes, I read

629
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:42,680
Speaker 3: that you didn't want them to be too personal.

630
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,159
Speaker 5: I mean, who wants to share anything?

631
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 3: Well?

632
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:47,080
Speaker 5: You actually have? You?

633
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:47,199
Speaker 1: You?

634
00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:50,160
Speaker 5: I mean you've wrote written five or six Yeah, you've

635
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,640
Speaker 5: written a lot of books. I don't even know if

636
00:25:52,640 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 5: I have that many stories.

637
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:54,280
Speaker 3: You do.

638
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 5: I do, but I don't think i'd ever share them.

639
00:25:56,880 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 5: But I respect that. I respect that honestly, it's really

640
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,760
Speaker 5: chic culturally Nigerians. It's like, why share any of your

641
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 5: business when you could simply not. So that is where

642
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,320
Speaker 5: I'm coming from. But my book was due. I did

643
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,080
Speaker 5: sell it, and so I had to finish it, and

644
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:14,840
Speaker 5: I didn't want to give back the advance because there

645
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,280
Speaker 5: was a strike going on with the writers and the actors.

646
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 3: Did you think about giving back the advanced hundred times?

647
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:20,679
Speaker 3: You didn't want to write it?

648
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 5: No, I wrote it. I wrote it very quickly, and

649
00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,600
Speaker 5: I didn't want to release it into the world. Oh yeah,

650
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:28,360
Speaker 5: I wrote it. I mean I'm a writer like that

651
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:30,880
Speaker 5: is the easy part. It's the idea that people are

652
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 5: going to perceive me.

653
00:26:32,119 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 3: That is very Nigerian.

654
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,439
Speaker 5: Yes, shout out Nigel.

655
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 2: So you were resistant to releasing it because you were

656
00:26:39,040 --> 00:26:41,159
Speaker 2: exposing a part of your life that you wanted to

657
00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 2: keep private.

658
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,919
Speaker 5: I was exposing any part of my life. Yeah. I mean,

659
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 5: I'm lucky enough that when I interview I get to

660
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 5: hide behind the artifice of a character. Right, so's she's

661
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 5: being devilish, not me. I'm the good guy. I'm the friend.

662
00:26:52,359 --> 00:26:54,679
Speaker 5: I'm the kind hearted woman. And so when you have

663
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 5: a book, you can't hide behind two hundred plus pages,

664
00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 5: you have to say something of value, and so finding

665
00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:03,360
Speaker 5: out what I said that was of note and what

666
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:06,399
Speaker 5: to share about myself that is worth my reader's time

667
00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 5: is something that I really toiled with.

668
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,320
Speaker 3: M Yeah, and then how did you feel about that?

669
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,199
Speaker 2: Once the book was out and you got the reception

670
00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:14,639
Speaker 2: that you did, how did you feel did you your

671
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 2: feelings change at all?

672
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 5: Of course? I mean I was called a genius, so

673
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:21,000
Speaker 5: it's like, yeah, I'm just dabbing, dabbing through New York City.

674
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 5: I mean it's a sense of relief right that anyone

675
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,840
Speaker 5: can could connect to any one of my stories, because

676
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,160
Speaker 5: that was my fear that I was like writing into

677
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 5: a vacuum. So I'm really appreciative for sure.

678
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:32,800
Speaker 6: Yeah.

679
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:34,959
Speaker 2: I read one of them that we talked about your

680
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:37,439
Speaker 2: walk You're walking in the woods, and we mended and

681
00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 2: this guy, this white guy, pulled over.

682
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and well you tell the story.

683
00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 5: I mean, the story is so deeply creepy. So I went,

684
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,560
Speaker 5: I go, I have to write in silence, and that's

685
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:49,800
Speaker 5: why I have a very quiet dog. And so I

686
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 5: also liked to go to the woods of upstate New

687
00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,959
Speaker 5: York to write, and so I would hike up this

688
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,840
Speaker 5: trailer at this place airbnbid, and every day we'd hike

689
00:27:58,880 --> 00:28:01,080
Speaker 5: with friends and the only time we ever encountered people

690
00:28:01,119 --> 00:28:04,400
Speaker 5: were like desperate census workers being like, please please fill

691
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,360
Speaker 5: out the senses. We need to know who's living here,

692
00:28:06,400 --> 00:28:10,400
Speaker 5: and we tell them, sorry, Airbnb destabilizing. And so one

693
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,840
Speaker 5: day this I'm walking the trail by myself. My friend

694
00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 5: had just left and my other friend was coming in

695
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 5: the next day, and this super ru pulls up beside

696
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 5: me and I think, oh, hey, it's not I'm not

697
00:28:19,400 --> 00:28:22,080
Speaker 5: on the census. It's okay. And he's like, what are

698
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:26,919
Speaker 5: you doing here? And I'm confused, like walking, and he's like,

699
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,040
Speaker 5: you know you're not supposed to be here. I own

700
00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 5: this property. You're trespassing. I'm like, oh, you own this property. Well,

701
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 5: thank you for having me at your beautiful airbnb. It's

702
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,280
Speaker 5: so nice. I love the pool. Oh so you're staying

703
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:41,560
Speaker 5: at the airbnb. So I realized he was lying, and

704
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:44,600
Speaker 5: suddenly my heart skipped a be because now I'm alone

705
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,600
Speaker 5: in the woods with a man who is a liar.

706
00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 5: And so I'm thinking, like Jason bournstyle, I'm thinking like, oh,

707
00:28:49,720 --> 00:28:52,479
Speaker 5: should I calculate, like how fast can I run what

708
00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,040
Speaker 5: should I do? And he keeps asking me, what's your name?

709
00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:56,280
Speaker 5: What's your name? What's your name? And this was like

710
00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:58,120
Speaker 5: right at the time when I was starting to like

711
00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 5: become more prominent, and so I'm like afraid to say

712
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,920
Speaker 5: my name, Like what does he have? This is like

713
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,560
Speaker 5: during the like twenty twenty summer where everything was so

714
00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,920
Speaker 5: politically fraught. And I noticed that there's a blonde woman

715
00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 5: next to him and she's saying like, it's okay, it's okay,

716
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 5: justin It's okay, and I'm like, I'm just walking and

717
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:17,280
Speaker 5: you have to understand, like it's really weird for me

718
00:29:17,560 --> 00:29:19,680
Speaker 5: to like tell you my name in the woods, like

719
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,080
Speaker 5: I'm alone, I'm in a like a purple fur hat,

720
00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:25,440
Speaker 5: Like this is strange, and she keeps insisting that it's okay,

721
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 5: and he's like, don't worry, I understand. Like the political crimate.

722
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 5: We have a black friend in the back, but in

723
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,800
Speaker 5: the super room dead as dead as it's so creepy,

724
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 5: dead ass. But the windows are up, so all I

725
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:40,040
Speaker 5: see is my reflection and I'm thinking, oh my god,

726
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 5: when do I run, Like the tinted windows are who

727
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 5: else is in the back of this car? Like, am

728
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 5: I going to be murdered for this Jordan Peel fantasy?

729
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:52,160
Speaker 5: And I say I would say hi to the black

730
00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 5: friend in the back, but I can't see them. And

731
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 5: then the two the couple starts arguing and I'm like

732
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,320
Speaker 5: this should be chance, like I should run right now.

733
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,800
Speaker 5: And then they slowly roll down the back window and

734
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:10,120
Speaker 5: it's this emaciated little black girl and she's sitting forward

735
00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 5: like this and it's so still, and I say hi.

736
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,200
Speaker 5: They're like hi. I'm like I love to go swimming

737
00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 5: at that pool. They're like, oh, she loves to go

738
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:22,240
Speaker 5: swimming at that pool that you're staying at. I'm like, yeah,

739
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,480
Speaker 5: I would go swimming more, but it's cold, and they

740
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 5: were like, yeah, it is cold. And that was the

741
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 5: first moment when they realized like, oh, we have a

742
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 5: shared humanity, like we can agree that it is cold

743
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,680
Speaker 5: too cold to swim. And then the little girl who's

744
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:41,160
Speaker 5: facing forward just turns and screams lucky. And I jump,

745
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 5: like I was not expecting such like a low tambra

746
00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 5: to come out of like this like nine year old

747
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:50,479
Speaker 5: tiny girl. And I go, yeah, I guess I am lucky.

748
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:53,960
Speaker 5: I guess I am lucky, and then this guy justin goes, hey,

749
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 5: just so you know, the set of the woods you're

750
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 5: staying on is on this side. The side you're on

751
00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,880
Speaker 5: is belongs to Elliot Spitzer. I'm like, Ellie Spitzer, I

752
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 5: don't even what the like, I know that name, but

753
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 5: I don't remember. Sorry. I'm like, okay, thanks. They're like

754
00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:06,960
Speaker 5: just so you know, okay, thanks, okay, bye, thanks, and

755
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:08,680
Speaker 5: they drive up the hill and the little girl does

756
00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:10,680
Speaker 5: not break eye contact with me until they're over there.

757
00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 5: I run back to the Airbnb at Google Elliot Spitzer.

758
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, like if I was caught in the

759
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:19,280
Speaker 5: woods with him, I would be I would be worried.

760
00:31:19,640 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 5: And then you know, you Airbnb, you have to clean

761
00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:23,960
Speaker 5: the place whatever. It's super expensive four hundred all your

762
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 5: cleaning that you're still cleaning it whatever, And so I

763
00:31:26,320 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 5: like comment on the Airbnb like, oh, had a lovely time.

764
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 5: It's such a beautiful place. Just so you guys know,

765
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:34,520
Speaker 5: like I did have this get out experience. I do

766
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 5: not judge the host, however, don't hike alone. And then

767
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 5: the host texts me and he says, it's so weird

768
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 5: that you said you had that experience, Like, who is

769
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 5: that guy he said, And I'm like, oh, he said

770
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 5: he was your neighbor. He's like, oh, that's not my neighbor.

771
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 5: And that was the end of that story.

772
00:31:53,560 --> 00:31:56,680
Speaker 3: Ah. So you think that little girl was there to

773
00:31:56,680 --> 00:32:00,560
Speaker 3: adopt a daughter. It seems like how old was she?

774
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:01,280
Speaker 3: She was nine?

775
00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:04,160
Speaker 5: She was like a young kid, she was nine or

776
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 5: maybe seven, but tall. But but but he wasn't a neighbor.

777
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 5: He was just a stranger.

778
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love it.

779
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,719
Speaker 2: I love that people just want to get involved in

780
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 2: fucking shit that has nothing to do with them. I mean,

781
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 2: who would care about anyone walking down the fucking street

782
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:20,360
Speaker 2: and why.

783
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 3: Would you ever get involved in them?

784
00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,239
Speaker 5: Like imagine, like what do you do? It was one

785
00:32:24,360 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 5: hundred acres and there is nothing I was disturbing other

786
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:31,320
Speaker 5: than like leaves, dried leaves, and so that he elected

787
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 5: himself as.

788
00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:36,720
Speaker 3: Mayor of the woods. Unwell, I know, and I do

789
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:36,920
Speaker 3: you know.

790
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 2: I hate when I hear that there's a woman with

791
00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 2: them that just sits there and like, lets that go on, Yeah,

792
00:32:41,320 --> 00:32:42,800
Speaker 2: why do you why are you letting your husband act

793
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:44,000
Speaker 2: like such a fucking asshole.

794
00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 5: I know she knew enough that she knew what he

795
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 5: was doing was bad or not enough to stop him.

796
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:49,520
Speaker 3: They say something.

797
00:32:49,600 --> 00:32:51,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, well we're gonna take a quick break

798
00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:52,600
Speaker 2: and we're going to come back and give advice.

799
00:32:52,640 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 3: Okay, are you ready for that?

800
00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:54,360
Speaker 5: Yes? Please?

801
00:32:58,440 --> 00:33:02,280
Speaker 3: Okay, we're back. We're back. What do we have in

802
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 3: store for z Way today, Catherine.

803
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:05,959
Speaker 1: We've got a lot of stuff. We've got a question

804
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:09,960
Speaker 1: about porn, We've got a dating art question.

805
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,720
Speaker 3: Okay, great, let's start with porn. Okay, do you watch

806
00:33:13,760 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 3: a lot of porn?

807
00:33:14,520 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 5: No?

808
00:33:14,920 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: No, This comes from Tina. Tina says, dear Chelsea. I'm

809
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 1: in my mid forties and my husband is a few

810
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:23,920
Speaker 1: years older, closer to fifty. We've been married since we

811
00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:26,040
Speaker 1: were in our early twenties and have two daughters who

812
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,000
Speaker 1: are now in their early twenties. I'm finding the aging

813
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:33,440
Speaker 1: process to be brutal. I want you, yeah, I want

814
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 1: to embrace it and still feel beautiful and desirable, but

815
00:33:36,280 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 1: I generally don't. I look in the mirror and I

816
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 1: see someone with what feels like rapidly sagging skin, wrinkles,

817
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,120
Speaker 1: and gray hair, and it's all such a bummer. I

818
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:47,360
Speaker 1: find it completely unfair that men are not held to

819
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,720
Speaker 1: the same standard as women. I recently started therapy for

820
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,720
Speaker 1: the first time. But there's one topic I don't want

821
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 1: to bring up with my therapist, and that is porn.

822
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 1: When we were younger, my husband and I watched porn

823
00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 1: together occasionally, and it was fun. As we got older

824
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 1: and had kids in the house, that's kind of faded away,

825
00:34:03,440 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 1: but we've still had a very active sex life over

826
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:08,359
Speaker 1: the years. I've known that he still watches porn, and

827
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 1: now that it's so easily accessible on our phones, I'm

828
00:34:10,560 --> 00:34:13,920
Speaker 1: pretty sure he watches it very frequently. I know this

829
00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 1: shouldn't bother me, but as I'm getting older and so

830
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,320
Speaker 1: are our kids, I'm becoming increasingly uncomfortable because the females

831
00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 1: in the porn are now the same age as our children,

832
00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 1: and it feels a little creepy to me.

833
00:34:24,440 --> 00:34:24,640
Speaker 5: Now.

834
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 1: Of course, they don't make much porn with women our age,

835
00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:30,239
Speaker 1: and if they do, I'm sure that porn with women

836
00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 1: in their early twenties would be more appealing to him

837
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:35,800
Speaker 1: than most men anyway. So my question is, do you

838
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,280
Speaker 1: think there comes a point when aging men watching porn

839
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,279
Speaker 1: with much younger women gets inappropriate? Do I just have

840
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,839
Speaker 1: to accept this fact even though we're both very much

841
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 1: aging and he's always going to be attracted to young

842
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:49,600
Speaker 1: women and accept that as normal and not creepy. Anyway,

843
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:51,880
Speaker 1: love your show, look forward to hearing your opinions.

844
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:57,840
Speaker 2: Tina, Wow, well Tina right, Tina, Yeah wow, well z

845
00:34:57,840 --> 00:34:58,880
Speaker 2: e Way, what do you think?

846
00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,279
Speaker 5: That question makes me sad? So the reason why I

847
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,680
Speaker 5: don't watch a lot of porn is because I get

848
00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 5: learn TV right, so I get caught up in the

849
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,240
Speaker 5: ethics of it. I'm like, is it a safe set?

850
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 5: I start to unravel the actual production of it, and

851
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,799
Speaker 5: so that I can't I can't get off if I

852
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 5: know my girlies aren't getting put on and so so.

853
00:35:21,840 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 5: For So, if the question is isn't it inappropriate for

854
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 5: her man to watch porn with young women, I'm going

855
00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,279
Speaker 5: to say yes, but not because of what you think.

856
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,319
Speaker 5: It's because of the ethics of how they shoot it.

857
00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you're getting into a different area.

858
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:39,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would say with regard to her husband, it

859
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:42,560
Speaker 2: is creepy when your husband when when the porn actors, like,

860
00:35:42,640 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 2: I think that's a very valid point to bring up

861
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,399
Speaker 2: to your husband. Yeah, like you're gonna want you want

862
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 2: to watch porn? Fine, your you know that's what you're into.

863
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 2: That's fine, but there is an issue like if the

864
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 2: porn actors are their daughter's age, like that is disgusting.

865
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,600
Speaker 2: There is something very creepy about that, and that's reasonable

866
00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,680
Speaker 2: too conveyed to the husband like it is I think.

867
00:36:02,719 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 5: So, I don't know, can you police people's desire or I.

868
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:08,480
Speaker 3: Mean, if they respect you and say and you say, hey,

869
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:10,040
Speaker 3: this really bothers me, Like I don't.

870
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:12,280
Speaker 2: I mean, I understand you like porn, but these girls

871
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 2: are so young, and like I'm aging, I don't feel great.

872
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 3: I feel like you'd rather.

873
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 2: You're more attracted to that, which is nothing I can change,

874
00:36:19,640 --> 00:36:21,160
Speaker 2: but I'd rather you wouldn't.

875
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:22,040
Speaker 3: You know there's a couple of.

876
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 5: Reasons watch milk porn instead.

877
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 2: Yeah there's I'm sure there is milk. Yeah, I'm sure

878
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,839
Speaker 2: there is. I think I've seen that. But I think

879
00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:31,440
Speaker 2: you totally have to say something just because it's like

880
00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,840
Speaker 2: self preservation. You have a good sex life, you it

881
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 2: seem like you have a good relationship, you've been together

882
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:38,239
Speaker 2: for many years. Fucking just say this doesn't make me

883
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:40,000
Speaker 2: feel good. I mean, he's gonna watch it anyway, and

884
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:41,200
Speaker 2: he's just going to hide it more.

885
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 5: But so is that a resolution? If he hides. So

886
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:44,240
Speaker 5: that's not a resolution.

887
00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 2: No, it's not a resolution. Well it could be because

888
00:36:46,600 --> 00:36:47,719
Speaker 2: I mean, let's say maybe.

889
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:48,960
Speaker 5: He he doesn't ignorance his bliss.

890
00:36:49,000 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 2: Well no, no, no, no, I'm saying maybe he will

891
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,080
Speaker 2: listen to her and take that into consideration and go, okay,

892
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 2: be sensitive about watching it or maybe watch less of it,

893
00:36:57,719 --> 00:37:00,319
Speaker 2: or at least she's even if he ignores it and

894
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,880
Speaker 2: just sneaks it more and make sure it's more discreet

895
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 2: about it he is, at least she's getting it off

896
00:37:06,080 --> 00:37:08,240
Speaker 2: of her chest and saying it. Like, I think bottling

897
00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 2: that stuff up is like that adds to you know,

898
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 2: you're feeling bad about aging.

899
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:13,400
Speaker 5: I agree.

900
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,800
Speaker 2: And secondly, I just want to make a comment about aging,

901
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 2: Like obviously you know I have access to all sorts

902
00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:21,080
Speaker 2: of things that help me anti age, but there is

903
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 2: something very like when you look in the mirror and

904
00:37:23,280 --> 00:37:25,279
Speaker 2: you say, I don't I don't like looking at the

905
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 2: saggy skin and everything, like those things have an impact

906
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,879
Speaker 2: on your well being, Like you know you have had

907
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:32,880
Speaker 2: a long like it sounds like a healthy life, a

908
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:35,200
Speaker 2: healthy marriage, healthy kids, Like there's a lot to be

909
00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:37,040
Speaker 2: proud of and there's yeah, there is a lot of

910
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,839
Speaker 2: elegance that comes with naturally aging. Like I look at

911
00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 2: people that naturally age a lot and think I wish

912
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,680
Speaker 2: I were more you know, natural about it.

913
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 5: I believe in natural aging, but I think everyone is

914
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 5: entitled to do what they want with your body.

915
00:37:50,239 --> 00:37:50,600
Speaker 3: Who cares?

916
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 5: Who am I to judge? But to your point, there's

917
00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:55,520
Speaker 5: so much to be Like the wrinkles that you have

918
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,520
Speaker 5: are a reflection of a life long lived, and like

919
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:01,000
Speaker 5: they are a reflection of like a beautiful family. As

920
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:02,600
Speaker 5: you just said, you have a beautiful husband, and you

921
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:06,120
Speaker 5: have such a great like conversation and community, and that

922
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 5: is something to be proud of. Like, who do I

923
00:38:08,280 --> 00:38:10,520
Speaker 5: want to age and die? No, but it means that

924
00:38:10,600 --> 00:38:13,520
Speaker 5: I'm lucky enough. I'd rather be old and die than

925
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 5: die young. So I think that it's a privilege. Yeah,

926
00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 5: but it's hard for me to say that because I'm

927
00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 5: like nineteen.

928
00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:21,440
Speaker 3: Well it's ours.

929
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 5: You're not nineteen goo googga nineteen Chelsea, No, you're not.

930
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 3: Yes, I am, you're nineteen years.

931
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,839
Speaker 5: I was born in two thousand and three.

932
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:35,280
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I didn't know you were ninety woah, wow, Wow.

933
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:40,640
Speaker 2: You have a lot of stuff happening at nineteen. You

934
00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:41,960
Speaker 2: haven't seen anything yet.

935
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:43,960
Speaker 5: No, not even the bottom of a beer.

936
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 3: Really, you never had a drink. No, Nigerians don't like that.

937
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 3: They don't like to drink.

938
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 5: Who have you dated in Nigerian?

939
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 2: You don't want manager in my best friend's marriage, I

940
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:53,920
Speaker 2: mean my old best friend.

941
00:38:53,960 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 3: Oh no, we're not No, we're still friends.

942
00:38:55,719 --> 00:39:00,399
Speaker 2: Okay was her husband and they are just like yeah,

943
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:04,920
Speaker 2: no drinking, very very bright. They're all doctors and lawyers

944
00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:07,319
Speaker 2: because there are no other choices. You have to be

945
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:09,840
Speaker 2: a doctor or lawyer and successful when you're a Nigerian.

946
00:39:10,160 --> 00:39:11,680
Speaker 3: There's no room for any failure.

947
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 5: It's like Tuck Across and Peers Morgan doctor lawyer. It's

948
00:39:14,200 --> 00:39:15,800
Speaker 5: like that same scenario exactly.

949
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 2: Okay, Katherine, what's next? We just told that woman to

950
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:21,080
Speaker 2: oh oh, let me wrap that up. I just want

951
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:23,200
Speaker 2: to say, like, yeah, you need to start talking in

952
00:39:23,239 --> 00:39:25,279
Speaker 2: a nicer way to yourself, you know. And as long

953
00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:27,879
Speaker 2: as you're living a healthy lifestyle, like whatever is you're

954
00:39:27,880 --> 00:39:29,640
Speaker 2: going to do to make yourself feel better about the

955
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 2: way you look, drink more water, exercise more, eat healthier

956
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:34,479
Speaker 2: food that shows up in your skin, in your face

957
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,799
Speaker 2: every single day, and when you're feeding yourself and you're

958
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 2: feeling healthy, you do look better and you do feel better.

959
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 2: So it's all this kind of like psychological structure that

960
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 2: you need to get on board with as we age,

961
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 2: because there's going to be plenty of things that you

962
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,480
Speaker 2: don't like about yourself. No one it gets to escape

963
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 2: from that physically. Okay, Catherine, we solve that problem, I think.

964
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,120
Speaker 3: I think. So, I'm trying to switch my bracelets over.

965
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,760
Speaker 2: To my other wrist, and it's really not working because

966
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,239
Speaker 2: I have to do I have to go to this

967
00:39:58,320 --> 00:40:00,800
Speaker 2: about Yeah, yeah, knew you'd understand.

968
00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:03,200
Speaker 3: See way, I can't believe you're nineteen years old, googaga.

969
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 3: Can you help me with that? Yeah, since you're nineteen,

970
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 3: you probably have great eyes.

971
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 1: I do you have great great vision and dexterity. Well,

972
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,800
Speaker 1: our next question comes from one of the most thorough

973
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: callers I think we've ever had.

974
00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:15,280
Speaker 2: Oh oh wow, we've had some really fucking thorough callers.

975
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:22,280
Speaker 1: She starts with her stats, age twenty nine, gender, female, ethnicity, black, location, NYC,

976
00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: sexual orientation, straight, topic, dating, and specifically what to do

977
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:28,120
Speaker 1: when you lose hope?

978
00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 3: Okay, straight, but not for long.

979
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 1: Here's my situation. I'm a twenty nine year old female

980
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 1: living in New York. I've been single and actively dating

981
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,319
Speaker 1: for the last two and a half years. I have

982
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:40,439
Speaker 1: been on a lot of dates sixty five first dates

983
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: to be exact, since May twenty twenty one. Wow, she

984
00:40:43,360 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 1: was keeping us breadsheet, by the way. Some of these

985
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 1: dates have turned into second and third dates, and there

986
00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:49,440
Speaker 1: was one guy I dated for a few months, but

987
00:40:49,520 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 1: nothing has turned into a committed relationship. In my most

988
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 1: recent experience, I went on what I thought were three

989
00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 1: great dates. After expressing a lot of interest, this guy disappeared.

990
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:01,720
Speaker 1: I understand that no one owes you anything early in dating,

991
00:41:01,840 --> 00:41:04,799
Speaker 1: but one we were intimate, and two this man was

992
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 1: thirty five years old, so you'd think he'd at least

993
00:41:06,719 --> 00:41:09,840
Speaker 1: send a text. Typically I would dust off the rejection

994
00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,839
Speaker 1: and just keep moving. I've been ghosted before, but for

995
00:41:12,880 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 1: some reason, this one got to me. The accumulation of

996
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 1: trying and trying with no success has had a bigger

997
00:41:17,920 --> 00:41:21,319
Speaker 1: emotional impact than I thought. Outside of dating, life is great.

998
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:23,960
Speaker 1: I've been working with a therapist for the past five years.

999
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:26,800
Speaker 1: But there's this other thing. I recently saw a psychic

1000
00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 1: for a tarot reading. A few weeks ago, and she

1001
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,319
Speaker 1: told me that someone who's jealous put a curse on me,

1002
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,400
Speaker 1: and that's why dating has been such a struggle. I

1003
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:36,960
Speaker 1: enjoyed the psychic and other energetic readings, but I also

1004
00:41:37,040 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 1: know it's not all fact. Although maybe she's onto something.

1005
00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: A curse would explain a lot.

1006
00:41:41,200 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 3: Lol.

1007
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 1: I'm taking a break from the apps for now. My

1008
00:41:44,040 --> 00:41:46,240
Speaker 1: question is how do I keep going?

1009
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 3: Polly? Hi?

1010
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:49,040
Speaker 1: Hi?

1011
00:41:49,239 --> 00:41:50,120
Speaker 6: How are you Hi?

1012
00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:52,520
Speaker 2: We have our special guest seaway here today to help.

1013
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,200
Speaker 3: Oh my god, my g favorite people.

1014
00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:55,799
Speaker 1: Hi.

1015
00:41:56,440 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 5: This is your story?

1016
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 1: Yes, Kylie Wow?

1017
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 3: Okay. So I had a similar experience. I had a

1018
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 3: dry spell for.

1019
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,920
Speaker 2: A long period of time where I was not connecting

1020
00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:09,719
Speaker 2: with guys or the guys that were interested in me.

1021
00:42:09,760 --> 00:42:11,360
Speaker 2: I was not interested in and the guys I was

1022
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 2: interested in would seem interested and then either like back

1023
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 2: off or get scared. And I thought, I seriously was like,

1024
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,560
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm cursed. I said that to my

1025
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,680
Speaker 2: girlfriend's in London, because I would like hang out with

1026
00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:23,600
Speaker 2: these guys for like two and a half hours at

1027
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:25,080
Speaker 2: a bar and then I'd be like, all right, you

1028
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:27,759
Speaker 2: want to come home with me? And then like they

1029
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:30,000
Speaker 2: would disappear or they were scared, and I'm like, what

1030
00:42:30,800 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 2: the fuck is happening? First of all, I'm ready to rumble.

1031
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:36,959
Speaker 2: You're never gonna have hear from me again. I mean,

1032
00:42:37,200 --> 00:42:39,200
Speaker 2: this is my experience. I'm not speaking for you.

1033
00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:39,920
Speaker 3: Anyway.

1034
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 2: I went through this whole thing, and then I was

1035
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 2: talking to my new therapist.

1036
00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 3: I have a new therapist, and she was.

1037
00:42:45,200 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 2: Saying something to me. I said, I don't know what

1038
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 2: kind of energy I'm putting out there. I think I'm

1039
00:42:48,920 --> 00:42:52,319
Speaker 2: putting off the wrong energy or some weird energy. And

1040
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,200
Speaker 2: she said, I just really want you to think of,

1041
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,880
Speaker 2: like what the essence of you is really?

1042
00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:57,759
Speaker 3: Who is like the.

1043
00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:01,120
Speaker 2: Best version of yourself? And and I was like, She's like,

1044
00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:03,359
Speaker 2: can you see that person? And I was like, yeah, absolutely,

1045
00:43:03,400 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 2: I know exactly who that person is. And she's like, Okay,

1046
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,759
Speaker 2: when you are on these dates or you were having

1047
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,280
Speaker 2: these interactions, She's like, I just want you to always

1048
00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 2: remember like the best version of yourself, like the essence

1049
00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:16,719
Speaker 2: of who you are. And I think if you're getting

1050
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 2: tarot cards readings or any sort of psychic readings, you

1051
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:23,920
Speaker 2: probably understand what I mean by essence, right, Yeah, And

1052
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 2: it's important.

1053
00:43:24,600 --> 00:43:26,480
Speaker 3: To think of that because we all have like what

1054
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 3: is our essence? Who are we?

1055
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 2: And she just said, I just want you to hold

1056
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:33,120
Speaker 2: onto that version of you instead of getting into like

1057
00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 2: you know, because sometimes we have all these like guardrails

1058
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:39,120
Speaker 2: up and these invisible defense mechanisms. We're trying to self preserve,

1059
00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:42,000
Speaker 2: We're trying to protect ourselves in different exchanges, and usually

1060
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,520
Speaker 2: it really has nothing to fucking do with you, because

1061
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 2: all these men are fucking batshit. I had a guy

1062
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:48,799
Speaker 2: reach out to me a few weeks ago, chasing me

1063
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 2: down on DM because we had matched on Rayah, and

1064
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:54,359
Speaker 2: I didn't respond chasing me down on DM to go

1065
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:56,399
Speaker 2: to a drink with him. I finally make a plan

1066
00:43:56,440 --> 00:43:58,680
Speaker 2: with him and he ended up blowing me off. I'm like,

1067
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: excuse me, you fucking more on But again, that has

1068
00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:03,439
Speaker 2: nothing to do with me, you know what I mean.

1069
00:44:03,680 --> 00:44:05,640
Speaker 2: That is something to do with him. That's somebody that

1070
00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:07,319
Speaker 2: I'm glad I never went on a date with, because

1071
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:10,000
Speaker 2: if that's how we handled the situation, you know, good riddance.

1072
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:13,280
Speaker 2: But a take some of the pressure off of yourself

1073
00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:15,719
Speaker 2: by understanding that men are it's a hot mess out

1074
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:17,360
Speaker 2: there and it's a numbers game and I understand you

1075
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,799
Speaker 2: went on sixty five dates, which is a lot, but

1076
00:44:20,280 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 2: that attitude is right, Like it's fun to go out

1077
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 2: and experiment, and just keep in mind the best version

1078
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:27,520
Speaker 2: of yourself, like when you were a little girl, Like

1079
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:31,000
Speaker 2: the most innocent, joyful kind of version of yourself. Not

1080
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:34,080
Speaker 2: to act innocent, but be playful in that way when

1081
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:36,840
Speaker 2: you're in these situations, so that you're not waiting for

1082
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:39,399
Speaker 2: them to like blow you off or walk out the door,

1083
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 2: or that you're not going to hear from them again. Like,

1084
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:44,400
Speaker 2: don't set that narrative up. Go into each situation with

1085
00:44:44,480 --> 00:44:48,240
Speaker 2: an open, healthy, like exciting mind and if it works out, great,

1086
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 2: and if it doesn't, good riddance. Thank you for sparing me.

1087
00:44:51,160 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 2: You know, another person that's not going to add to

1088
00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:55,839
Speaker 2: my life. And I think if you just adjust your

1089
00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 2: attitude slightly when you're dating, are you dating a lot?

1090
00:44:58,960 --> 00:44:59,160
Speaker 4: Yeah?

1091
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:01,279
Speaker 5: I'm dating, but no a lot, But I'm dating.

1092
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I've I've been dating a lot lately and

1093
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:05,160
Speaker 2: my attitude has totally changed.

1094
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,640
Speaker 3: And that advice she gave me, and you have to

1095
00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:07,960
Speaker 3: do so.

1096
00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:09,799
Speaker 2: A little bit of work to figure out, you know who,

1097
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:12,879
Speaker 2: what your exact essence is. But we all know who

1098
00:45:12,920 --> 00:45:15,440
Speaker 2: we are deep down, and we all know what our

1099
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:17,440
Speaker 2: best qualities are, and so you just want to go

1100
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,319
Speaker 2: into all of these situations with a lightness instead of

1101
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:24,799
Speaker 2: a worried kind of feeling or paranoia that it's not

1102
00:45:24,840 --> 00:45:27,879
Speaker 2: going to work out or are you good enough? All

1103
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:28,880
Speaker 2: of that is irrelevant.

1104
00:45:29,239 --> 00:45:31,960
Speaker 5: Curses are real. I would say that you should pray

1105
00:45:32,239 --> 00:45:34,879
Speaker 5: or do whatever thing that you believe in to help

1106
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,879
Speaker 5: protect you against that, because they are real. I don't

1107
00:45:37,880 --> 00:45:39,920
Speaker 5: know if your friend really did that, but people courses

1108
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 5: are real.

1109
00:45:40,239 --> 00:45:41,840
Speaker 3: Well, how did she say to remove the curse? How

1110
00:45:41,880 --> 00:45:42,880
Speaker 3: do you remove a curse?

1111
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:46,799
Speaker 6: So she gave me like very specific instructions about like

1112
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,319
Speaker 6: little rituals that I was supposed to do, which I

1113
00:45:49,360 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 6: did because I just felt like I had nothing to lose,

1114
00:45:51,920 --> 00:45:54,720
Speaker 6: lighting this candle and putting a baby leaf in the water,

1115
00:45:55,360 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 6: things like that. I did everything that she asked, Like

1116
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:01,839
Speaker 6: I filled a water bottle with salt and like put

1117
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 6: it in my window to like catch the moonlight, and

1118
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 6: then I lit a candle and then ask for the

1119
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:10,719
Speaker 6: universe to remove this curse. Like I did everything that

1120
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:13,880
Speaker 6: she asked me to do. Basically, you just carry that

1121
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:17,279
Speaker 6: out and asked the universe to release the curse from you.

1122
00:46:17,440 --> 00:46:20,000
Speaker 3: So that's what I did. Yeah, well that's going to

1123
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 3: work then.

1124
00:46:20,960 --> 00:46:22,960
Speaker 2: I mean you're doing all the things that you can do,

1125
00:46:23,400 --> 00:46:25,880
Speaker 2: and also you know, meditate and pray on it, just

1126
00:46:25,920 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 2: like do whatever your thing is.

1127
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:28,760
Speaker 3: Do you meditate?

1128
00:46:29,280 --> 00:46:32,200
Speaker 6: I do, Yeah, not as consistantly as I would like to,

1129
00:46:32,239 --> 00:46:35,719
Speaker 6: but I'm trying to build a more consistent practice of it.

1130
00:46:35,920 --> 00:46:37,919
Speaker 2: And I think when you're meditating, when you think about

1131
00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,720
Speaker 2: radiating light, like I always think about that when I meditate,

1132
00:46:40,760 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 2: Like I'm such a good vibe, Like I'm just have

1133
00:46:42,760 --> 00:46:44,880
Speaker 2: light around me, and anyone who comes in is going

1134
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:48,239
Speaker 2: to also get light, and anybody who doesn't deserve that

1135
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 2: light that will be rebuffed by the strength of that light,

1136
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:53,839
Speaker 2: you know. And like I want you to think about

1137
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:56,080
Speaker 2: that for yourself too, because you want to keep like

1138
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:58,319
Speaker 2: any sort of negative energies away from you.

1139
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:00,239
Speaker 3: So what's the latest. You haven't been on a in

1140
00:47:00,280 --> 00:47:01,600
Speaker 3: a few weeks.

1141
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,080
Speaker 6: So there is like a little update to the original

1142
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:05,000
Speaker 6: email that I wrote.

1143
00:47:05,040 --> 00:47:08,720
Speaker 3: Actually you're married now I'm fully married.

1144
00:47:09,600 --> 00:47:12,400
Speaker 6: So I actually ended up seeing that guy two more times,

1145
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:15,240
Speaker 6: but it was like the same result, Like I think

1146
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:17,280
Speaker 6: it was kind of like an inevitable result.

1147
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 5: I'll tell you, you.

1148
00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:23,080
Speaker 6: Know, yeah, yeah exactly like he I don't know. I mean,

1149
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 6: it was just like very surprising because this man is

1150
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 6: truly like thirty six years old and like did not

1151
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:30,880
Speaker 6: have the emotional maturity to be like, hey, like this

1152
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 6: has been fun. I'm just like not interested like that.

1153
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 6: Like he sort of tried to do like a slow fade,

1154
00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:38,319
Speaker 6: and I confronted him about it, and he got very

1155
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 6: uncomfortable and then you know, tried to say, oh, like

1156
00:47:42,080 --> 00:47:44,200
Speaker 6: I'm really busy, and I was like, okay, say no more,

1157
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,000
Speaker 6: got it good, Like I'm ready to move on. I

1158
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:49,000
Speaker 6: don't know. I haven't been on a date since then,

1159
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:51,759
Speaker 6: because like the thought of going on another date just

1160
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,840
Speaker 6: made me very anxious and like frustrated. So I was like,

1161
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,799
Speaker 6: that's not that obviously, this is like not bringing me

1162
00:47:58,000 --> 00:47:58,920
Speaker 6: joy right now.

1163
00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 3: So yeah, you have to be in the right head space.

1164
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 2: So you have to get yourself like do that little

1165
00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,880
Speaker 2: talk with yourself before any date about your essence, about

1166
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:10,680
Speaker 2: your intention, about being light and not having huge expectations,

1167
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:13,200
Speaker 2: because that's also something we fuck up. We go into

1168
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 2: dates sometimes and be like, oh, I wonder if this

1169
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 2: is gonna be my boyfriend, And it's like, not everybody's

1170
00:48:16,880 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 2: meant to be your boyfriend. Some people are just meant

1171
00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:20,279
Speaker 2: to have fun with. Some people are just meant because

1172
00:48:20,320 --> 00:48:22,359
Speaker 2: they're gonna be friends, you know, and on and on.

1173
00:48:22,640 --> 00:48:24,880
Speaker 5: Can I tell you what I do with dating. I

1174
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:28,520
Speaker 5: like to approach the people that I'm potentially dating the

1175
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 5: way I poach friendships. So it's like, oh, I wouldn't

1176
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:33,680
Speaker 5: let a friend talk to me this way, so I

1177
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:36,120
Speaker 5: wouldn't let a potential suitor talk to me this way.

1178
00:48:36,360 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 5: I wouldn't engage this way with a friend, so I

1179
00:48:38,640 --> 00:48:41,480
Speaker 5: wouldn't engage this way with a suitor. So it's like,

1180
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 5: for me, it has to be in the words of

1181
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:46,680
Speaker 5: Kim Catral, I don't even want to spend one hour

1182
00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:50,399
Speaker 5: not doing something that makes me happy. So, like you

1183
00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:52,440
Speaker 5: said it yourself, you took a break because you weren't

1184
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:55,520
Speaker 5: feeling it. That's cool, and then ease into it. However

1185
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,359
Speaker 5: you ease into it, but I think you have to

1186
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 5: lower the stakes. Every single person is not going to

1187
00:49:00,760 --> 00:49:03,080
Speaker 5: be the perfect person, in the same way that when

1188
00:49:03,080 --> 00:49:06,400
Speaker 5: you meet potential friends, every single person isn't your bestie

1189
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 5: all of a sudden, like it has to happen, Like

1190
00:49:08,719 --> 00:49:10,759
Speaker 5: you have different friends that you eb and flow with,

1191
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:13,719
Speaker 5: So allow that to be as organic as you would

1192
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:17,040
Speaker 5: allow your dating life to be, because again you're in

1193
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 5: theory when we date, we're looking for a partnership that

1194
00:49:20,520 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 5: lasts more than six months, right, that is supportive to

1195
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,839
Speaker 5: both of the people in that partnership. So it has

1196
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:30,239
Speaker 5: to be like a healthy, organic exchange.

1197
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:31,520
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1198
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,319
Speaker 2: And also it's a great exercise in communication, Like it's

1199
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:36,960
Speaker 2: really good. That's you know, it's not for not if

1200
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:38,439
Speaker 2: you don't if you go on a date with somebody

1201
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:41,319
Speaker 2: that you don't click with, because you're getting better at communicating,

1202
00:49:41,320 --> 00:49:43,719
Speaker 2: you're getting better at being in an uncomfortable situation and

1203
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:46,800
Speaker 2: making it natural. So there's advantages to going through the

1204
00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 2: process regardless of whether you end up with a boyfriend

1205
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,799
Speaker 2: right away, you know. And it's like I feel like

1206
00:49:51,840 --> 00:49:53,960
Speaker 2: if you you know, you put that much effort into it,

1207
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,320
Speaker 2: you're going to yield results.

1208
00:49:55,920 --> 00:50:01,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, I hope. So I think something that the psychic

1209
00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:03,880
Speaker 6: said to me that was like a little less esoteric

1210
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,960
Speaker 6: and actually like really resonated with me, which she was like,

1211
00:50:07,840 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 6: I feel that you have been like searching and like

1212
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:13,600
Speaker 6: really seeking and like really putting your energy out, and

1213
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 6: she's like, I wonder what it would be like for

1214
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:17,759
Speaker 6: you to just sit back and like let people come

1215
00:50:17,800 --> 00:50:22,760
Speaker 6: to you. And that really struck me, and I am

1216
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:25,279
Speaker 6: I'm just like now in the process of trying to

1217
00:50:25,280 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 6: figure out what that looks like in real life, Like

1218
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:30,000
Speaker 6: how do I sort of just like sit back and

1219
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 6: let people come to me?

1220
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:31,799
Speaker 3: You know?

1221
00:50:32,840 --> 00:50:35,040
Speaker 5: Yeah, how do you make friends in real life?

1222
00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 6: I mean, this is a good question. I It's something

1223
00:50:39,239 --> 00:50:44,640
Speaker 6: that I'm working on, Honestly. I luckily like my job.

1224
00:50:44,760 --> 00:50:46,640
Speaker 6: I spend a lot of time meeting a lot of

1225
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:50,280
Speaker 6: different people. I manage a lot of studio full time

1226
00:50:50,320 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 6: and I teach there. And I've actually like made friends

1227
00:50:53,600 --> 00:50:56,040
Speaker 6: with some of my clients. Basically they started out as

1228
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:58,279
Speaker 6: clients and then you know, we would just spend a

1229
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 6: lot of time talking after a class, and then I

1230
00:51:00,840 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 6: just was like, hey, I think, you know, we should

1231
00:51:03,239 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 6: hang out. I feel like we never have time to

1232
00:51:04,920 --> 00:51:07,879
Speaker 6: like finish our conversations anyway. So like I've been able

1233
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:11,880
Speaker 6: to meet people that way. Outside of that, it's a

1234
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:14,200
Speaker 6: little bit of a it's been a little bit of

1235
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:16,920
Speaker 6: a challenge for me to like make friends, like as

1236
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 6: an adult as I imagine it is for a lot

1237
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:22,160
Speaker 6: of people. But that's been really helpful. I've also been

1238
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:24,240
Speaker 6: trying to like go to events and stuff.

1239
00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:26,359
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean it sounds like from Pilate's at least

1240
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 5: these are people who have your shared interests and you're

1241
00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 5: able to have like a mutual connection. So it's like,

1242
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:34,839
Speaker 5: I hope that as you find a perspective partner, you're

1243
00:51:34,880 --> 00:51:38,160
Speaker 5: looking at places where you actually want to be yourself,

1244
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:41,200
Speaker 5: where you're actually having fun and you're attracting the energy

1245
00:51:41,239 --> 00:51:44,040
Speaker 5: to you in those spaces, but you're not changing anything

1246
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:46,560
Speaker 5: about you or what your wave is, but simply being

1247
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 5: yourself and doing the things that you like.

1248
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:52,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think my biggest struggle is like the things

1249
00:51:52,320 --> 00:51:54,480
Speaker 6: that I really love to do there just like aren't

1250
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:57,000
Speaker 6: a lot of straight men there, and I think a

1251
00:51:57,040 --> 00:52:01,040
Speaker 6: lot about Like is the reason why and like I

1252
00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:04,239
Speaker 6: feel more comfortable is because there are no straight.

1253
00:52:04,239 --> 00:52:06,719
Speaker 2: And that's I mean, I think you speak for lots

1254
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:11,000
Speaker 2: of women when you talk about preferring areas spaces without

1255
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:14,200
Speaker 2: straight men. I think we can all relate to that.

1256
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:17,200
Speaker 2: When you're on dates, are you very like are you

1257
00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:19,239
Speaker 2: do you sit back and let it happen or are

1258
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:22,040
Speaker 2: you like controlling or steering the conversation.

1259
00:52:23,360 --> 00:52:26,759
Speaker 6: It really depends on the person. I try to. I

1260
00:52:26,800 --> 00:52:30,400
Speaker 6: try to be conscious of like not talking about myself

1261
00:52:30,440 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 6: for the entire time, and also because like I do,

1262
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:36,799
Speaker 6: I am curious about the other person. But there are

1263
00:52:36,920 --> 00:52:39,800
Speaker 6: times when I feel like, if I don't ask a question,

1264
00:52:40,080 --> 00:52:42,680
Speaker 6: this person is just going to sit here and like

1265
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 6: let it be dead silence.

1266
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 3: And honestly, like do people do that on dates? Do

1267
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 3: people just sit there in second silence?

1268
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, well no, they just they just kind of wait

1269
00:52:50,160 --> 00:52:53,359
Speaker 6: for you to ask them a question, like I'm I'm

1270
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:57,600
Speaker 6: interviewing them, And sometimes like if I get frustrated, I

1271
00:52:57,640 --> 00:53:00,800
Speaker 6: will just sit there because I'm like, this is not

1272
00:53:02,080 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 6: I'm not going to interview you. But I really try

1273
00:53:06,520 --> 00:53:10,160
Speaker 6: to like let there be a conversation. But occasionally, yes, there's.

1274
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,399
Speaker 2: Not pretty fucking awkward when you're on a first date

1275
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:14,200
Speaker 2: with somebody and you're sitting there in silence.

1276
00:53:14,719 --> 00:53:16,880
Speaker 3: That's like, yeah, well then you're not a good match.

1277
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:18,920
Speaker 1: No, yeah, they're not going a conversation.

1278
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:21,000
Speaker 5: It's a hard thing to hear, but you know.

1279
00:53:21,200 --> 00:53:22,800
Speaker 2: But anyway, you're going to get rid of this spell

1280
00:53:22,840 --> 00:53:25,000
Speaker 2: if you haven't already you're going to get rid of that.

1281
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:26,480
Speaker 3: That's going to do. You just have to think of

1282
00:53:26,520 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 3: that as gone.

1283
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:30,239
Speaker 2: You did everything you had to do to get rid

1284
00:53:30,239 --> 00:53:32,280
Speaker 2: of it, and you're going to just kind of adjust

1285
00:53:32,320 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 2: your expectations and understand that you're going to go into

1286
00:53:35,800 --> 00:53:37,399
Speaker 2: these dates with just a little bit of a lighter

1287
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 2: attitude about it and not look at it as a

1288
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,640
Speaker 2: reflection of you each date. And also get out there more.

1289
00:53:42,719 --> 00:53:44,920
Speaker 2: Do other stuff in your community so that you can

1290
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,080
Speaker 2: meet other people. Go rock climbing, go to one of

1291
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 2: those classes. You'll find some straight guys there. You know,

1292
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 2: go to play tennis, or you know, you could join

1293
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:53,440
Speaker 2: a book club to make girlfriends.

1294
00:53:53,480 --> 00:53:54,960
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm sure there's no straight guys in a

1295
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:55,760
Speaker 3: fucking book club.

1296
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 2: But just be actively trying to like widen your circle

1297
00:54:00,239 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 2: of comfort and put yourself out there a little bit more,

1298
00:54:03,040 --> 00:54:04,280
Speaker 2: and I think that will yield results.

1299
00:54:04,320 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 3: Also, it always does. Yeah, what city are you in?

1300
00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 6: I'm in New York.

1301
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:13,759
Speaker 2: Oh well, hello, there's plenty going on here, sister, lots

1302
00:54:13,760 --> 00:54:16,360
Speaker 2: of action everywhere you look. So just go down to

1303
00:54:16,400 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 2: the pier. There's men there all the time. Just go

1304
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:21,480
Speaker 2: to the pier and wait.

1305
00:54:22,719 --> 00:54:24,879
Speaker 3: Yea, all right, all right, thanks for calling you us

1306
00:54:24,880 --> 00:54:29,360
Speaker 3: posted Okay, okay, thanks bye bye.

1307
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:31,520
Speaker 2: We'll take a break and we'll be right back to

1308
00:54:31,719 --> 00:54:38,040
Speaker 2: close out with z Way and we're back.

1309
00:54:38,719 --> 00:54:39,560
Speaker 3: She was real cute.

1310
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:43,600
Speaker 2: It's amazing how women are so worried about men, even me.

1311
00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:45,520
Speaker 2: Like a woman like me, you would think we wouldn't

1312
00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,279
Speaker 2: have issues with men, and I do too. They're just

1313
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:51,000
Speaker 2: it's a hot mess situation dating.

1314
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm the older I get the more you're nineteen,

1315
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:57,680
Speaker 5: goog got so from what when you were sick? From

1316
00:54:57,680 --> 00:55:00,759
Speaker 5: when I was seven? Thank you? A year after. I'm

1317
00:55:00,800 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 5: trying to get to a place where I don't need

1318
00:55:05,960 --> 00:55:09,719
Speaker 5: a man, and I just like whatever comes into my

1319
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:10,520
Speaker 5: life is cool.

1320
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:13,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I'm at that place and eventually you need penetration.

1321
00:55:14,120 --> 00:55:14,800
Speaker 5: That's true.

1322
00:55:14,880 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 3: And what I said to my might I said to

1323
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,080
Speaker 3: my therapist, she goes, what do you want exactly?

1324
00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:20,160
Speaker 5: What about toys?

1325
00:55:20,239 --> 00:55:22,120
Speaker 3: And I that's not as fun. I like a man,

1326
00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:23,359
Speaker 3: you know, I like a man.

1327
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:25,359
Speaker 5: So sometimes you have sex and it's like not that good.

1328
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:26,480
Speaker 3: No, that's true.

1329
00:55:26,560 --> 00:55:27,800
Speaker 5: But what I'd be alone?

1330
00:55:27,880 --> 00:55:29,960
Speaker 3: But I would I'd rather be alone than have bad sex.

1331
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,960
Speaker 2: Also, but what I would like and this has happened

1332
00:55:32,960 --> 00:55:34,760
Speaker 2: once in my life before, and I liked that setup.

1333
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 3: I like having men just all casual men and differentations rotation,

1334
00:55:39,600 --> 00:55:40,160
Speaker 3: different New.

1335
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:44,319
Speaker 2: York, La, Spain, London, just different guys to have sex

1336
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:46,160
Speaker 2: with and real fun, flirty.

1337
00:55:46,520 --> 00:55:48,040
Speaker 3: No like, no serious commitment.

1338
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:49,439
Speaker 2: If I fall in love with one of them, great,

1339
00:55:49,440 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 2: then that could become a serious commitment. But to go,

1340
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:53,759
Speaker 2: And she and I started laughing because I thought as

1341
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:54,719
Speaker 2: soon as I said that she was.

1342
00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 3: Going to go.

1343
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:57,440
Speaker 2: First of all, no one really wants that. And she's like,

1344
00:55:57,640 --> 00:56:00,520
Speaker 2: that sounds awesome. She's like, that's it's alsome. I go,

1345
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 2: that's exactly what I want. I want fun and flirty

1346
00:56:03,760 --> 00:56:05,919
Speaker 2: and light and like you go and you have fun

1347
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,439
Speaker 2: with someone and you're not stuck with them long enough

1348
00:56:08,480 --> 00:56:10,560
Speaker 2: for anybody to get on each other's nerves, you know

1349
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:12,960
Speaker 2: what I mean. That's how I would like to And

1350
00:56:13,000 --> 00:56:15,480
Speaker 2: when I'm single and I have money and I can

1351
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:17,239
Speaker 2: do what I want, there's no reason I shouldn't be

1352
00:56:17,320 --> 00:56:17,600
Speaker 2: doing that.

1353
00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:19,840
Speaker 3: You know, I don't want this body to go to waste.

1354
00:56:20,560 --> 00:56:22,000
Speaker 5: I mean, so why are you and why aren't you

1355
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:22,880
Speaker 5: doing that? I am doing that?

1356
00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:24,480
Speaker 2: Okay, So so you have a perfect life, Yeah, I

1357
00:56:24,520 --> 00:56:27,440
Speaker 2: started doing that as soon as I talked to my therapist. Okay, okay,

1358
00:56:27,800 --> 00:56:29,719
Speaker 2: And just to clarify at the end of this episode,

1359
00:56:29,760 --> 00:56:31,560
Speaker 2: I would just like to clarify that zea Way, I

1360
00:56:31,600 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 2: did fall for her bullshit. But she's thirty one, so

1361
00:56:34,200 --> 00:56:38,040
Speaker 2: she's not nineteen. She's half of she's half, she's twice

1362
00:56:38,160 --> 00:56:38,960
Speaker 2: as whatever.

1363
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:40,560
Speaker 3: You get the drift older than that.

1364
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,920
Speaker 2: Nineteen times two is not thirty one. Okay, Well that's it.

1365
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:46,399
Speaker 3: That's for that. Well that was an episode. Yes, yes,

1366
00:56:46,960 --> 00:56:49,120
Speaker 3: thank you zee Way for being here today. Its very

1367
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:49,880
Speaker 3: nice to meet you.

1368
00:56:50,160 --> 00:56:52,439
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me Chelsea. You're an icon, You're

1369
00:56:52,600 --> 00:56:55,719
Speaker 5: legend Chelsea lately Chelsea presently.

1370
00:56:55,920 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 3: Yes, thank you.

1371
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 2: Okay, So show dates coming up Canadian These are for Canadians, guys.

1372
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:07,120
Speaker 2: I'm coming January nineteenth, Edmonton January twentieth, Saskatoon February ninth.

1373
00:57:07,160 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 2: I'll be in Winnipeg February twenty third. Calgary that is

1374
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:13,799
Speaker 2: almost sold out, so get your tickets. Victoria, BC is

1375
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:17,400
Speaker 2: March eighth. March ninth is Colowna, also almost sold out.

1376
00:57:17,560 --> 00:57:19,640
Speaker 2: Not sure if I'm adding second shows yet because of

1377
00:57:19,640 --> 00:57:22,959
Speaker 2: my schedule. Vancouver is March twenty ninth.

1378
00:57:23,000 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 3: And that is almost sold out.

1379
00:57:24,720 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 2: Then i will be in Salt Lake City April fourth

1380
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:31,360
Speaker 2: and Denver April fifth. I'm coming to Arizona at Maricopa

1381
00:57:31,440 --> 00:57:35,600
Speaker 2: April twelfth. April thirteen, I'll be in Brooks, California at

1382
00:57:35,640 --> 00:57:38,000
Speaker 2: the Cash Creek Casino. And then I'm going to be

1383
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:43,160
Speaker 2: in Santa Rosa Sunday, April fourteenth. I'm coming to Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore,

1384
00:57:43,240 --> 00:57:48,840
Speaker 2: Maryland on April twentieth, Gary, Indiana, Prior Lake, Minnesota. Coming

1385
00:57:48,880 --> 00:57:53,200
Speaker 2: to Oklahoma Norman, Oklahoma on May third and May fourth.

1386
00:57:53,200 --> 00:57:56,880
Speaker 2: I will be in Thackerville, Oklahoma for my rescheduled Windstar

1387
00:57:56,960 --> 00:57:58,040
Speaker 2: World Casino date.

1388
00:57:58,600 --> 00:57:59,240
Speaker 3: I'm coming to.

1389
00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:03,479
Speaker 2: Englewood, cal Saturday, May eleventh at the YouTube Theater.

1390
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:05,960
Speaker 3: This is for the Netflix Is a Joke Festival.

1391
00:58:06,280 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 2: I'll be performing with Fortune, Fimestir and Matteo Lane and

1392
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:13,440
Speaker 2: Samjay and Vanessa Gonzalez. And then i will be in Verona,

1393
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:16,479
Speaker 2: New York on May twenty sixth, and then I'm coming

1394
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:21,480
Speaker 2: to Australia in July and New Zealand July fifth, Auckland

1395
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 2: and I'm coming to Wellington, New Zealand.

1396
00:58:24,240 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 3: Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney, and then.

1397
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:31,440
Speaker 2: Thursday, August first, which is a long way away and

1398
00:58:31,520 --> 00:58:34,040
Speaker 2: a date I am just seeing that I am not

1399
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:37,400
Speaker 2: ready to announce. Okay, so those are all my dates

1400
00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,040
Speaker 2: for that are up and available, So get your tickets.

1401
00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:43,160
Speaker 3: I can't wait to see you. Yeah, that's it.

1402
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:46,720
Speaker 1: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, shoot us an email

1403
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 1: at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com and be

1404
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,680
Speaker 1: sure to include your phone number. Dear Chelsea is edited

1405
00:58:52,680 --> 00:58:56,320
Speaker 1: and engineered by Brad Dickard executive producer Catherine Law and

1406
00:58:56,400 --> 00:58:58,840
Speaker 1: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot

1407
00:58:58,840 --> 00:59:01,400
Speaker 1: com