WEBVTT - A Blind Cook Becomes a Master Chef 0:00:14.916 --> 0:00:33.636 Pushkin. I remember noticing that the vision in one of 0:00:33.676 --> 0:00:36.276 my eyes was blurry, and I assumed it was my 0:00:36.396 --> 0:00:39.756 contact lens. I took it out and I cleaned it, 0:00:39.836 --> 0:00:43.236 popped it back in. I still realized that my eyesight 0:00:43.356 --> 0:00:47.156 was blurry, so I ended up going to an optometrist 0:00:47.276 --> 0:00:50.436 and he checked out my eye, did all the usual 0:00:50.636 --> 0:00:55.076 eye exams, concluded that it was actually something neurological. My 0:00:55.156 --> 0:00:57.276 brain was fine, but the nerve tissue that connects the 0:00:57.316 --> 0:00:59.716 eye to the brain transmitting the image that my eye 0:00:59.756 --> 0:01:04.196 was taking in was on the fritz. That's Christine Hot 0:01:04.196 --> 0:01:07.636 describing a rare neurological condition that caused her vision to 0:01:07.756 --> 0:01:12.036 rapidly deteriorate and left her legally blind by age twenty four. 0:01:12.796 --> 0:01:15.436 Christine had to relearn how to navigate so much in 0:01:15.476 --> 0:01:18.156 her life, the ins and outs of her home, opening 0:01:18.236 --> 0:01:21.796 nail and cooking food for herself. Making a peanut, butter 0:01:21.836 --> 0:01:25.036 and jelly sandwich, which had once been so straightforward for her, 0:01:25.436 --> 0:01:28.596 now felt like a daunting task. I noticed that when 0:01:28.636 --> 0:01:30.716 I put the jelly on the slice of bread, and 0:01:30.756 --> 0:01:33.836 all of the jelly got all over the counter. It 0:01:33.956 --> 0:01:36.596 dripped down my arm. When I tried to line, the 0:01:36.676 --> 0:01:40.596 two slices of bread together like the sandwich seemed not perfect, 0:01:40.676 --> 0:01:43.916 and I remember being very fresher with myself, throwing that 0:01:43.996 --> 0:01:47.516 sandwich away and just telling myself, I don't know how 0:01:47.516 --> 0:01:49.676 I'll be independent again. I don't think I'll be able 0:01:49.716 --> 0:01:54.116 to ever cook again. Spoiler alert, Christine did cook again, 0:01:54.556 --> 0:01:58.516 and she's found her independence again today. Christine's a world 0:01:58.516 --> 0:02:01.276 renowned chef who goes by the nickname the Blind Cook. 0:02:01.876 --> 0:02:04.676 She won season three of the hit reality TV show 0:02:04.716 --> 0:02:07.916 Master Chef in twenty twelve, and she's written in New 0:02:07.996 --> 0:02:11.876 York Times best selling book and owns two restaurants in Houston, Texas. 0:02:15.196 --> 0:02:18.636 On today's episode, a blind woman becomes a Master Chef 0:02:19.036 --> 0:02:22.196 and redefines what independence means to her along the way, 0:02:25.356 --> 0:02:28.156 I'm Maya Shunker and this is a slight change of plans, 0:02:28.556 --> 0:02:30.836 A show about who we are and who we become 0:02:31.076 --> 0:02:45.916 in the face of a big change. Christine Ha grew 0:02:45.956 --> 0:02:48.756 up in a Vietnamese American family, and she loved the 0:02:48.796 --> 0:02:52.316 traditional dishes her mom would cook for her. When Christine 0:02:52.356 --> 0:02:54.636 got to college, she was eager to recreate some of 0:02:54.676 --> 0:02:58.436 her mom's recipes to reconnect with her Vietnamese heritage, and 0:02:58.516 --> 0:03:00.796 also to feel close to her mom, who had died 0:03:00.836 --> 0:03:04.716 of cancer when Christine was thirteen. The more Christine cooked, 0:03:04.756 --> 0:03:06.956 the more she realized just how much she loved it, 0:03:07.476 --> 0:03:10.476 the recipes and the experience of sharing food with her 0:03:10.476 --> 0:03:13.276 friends and family, so she turned it into a full 0:03:13.316 --> 0:03:16.556 on hobby. But that all changed for Christine when she 0:03:16.636 --> 0:03:20.596 was diagnosed with neuromilitis optica in her early twenties. She 0:03:20.676 --> 0:03:25.196 experienced blurry vision, numbness in her arms and legs, partial paralysis, 0:03:25.276 --> 0:03:29.116 and seizures. While medication would help with many of these symptoms, 0:03:29.356 --> 0:03:32.836 doctors told her to expect severe and permanent vision loss. 0:03:33.876 --> 0:03:35.876 I asked Christine to share what it was like to 0:03:35.916 --> 0:03:41.956 receive this news. I was very fearful. I felt very 0:03:41.996 --> 0:03:46.476 alone because at the time, I was in my early twenties, 0:03:46.596 --> 0:03:50.156 and of course most of my friends were not experiencing that. 0:03:50.876 --> 0:03:53.996 None of them I really knew, had to deal with 0:03:54.076 --> 0:03:58.596 chronic illness, vision loss, those types of things. I think 0:03:58.596 --> 0:04:00.676 when you're in your twenties, you assume you're invincible, and 0:04:00.716 --> 0:04:02.316 you don't think you're going to be dealing with stuff 0:04:02.356 --> 0:04:05.196 like that until you're much much older. So I felt 0:04:05.316 --> 0:04:07.796 very alone in what I was experiencing and no one 0:04:07.836 --> 0:04:11.436 could really relate, and so in my head I was thinking, 0:04:11.516 --> 0:04:14.156 why are my friends not caring as much as I 0:04:14.196 --> 0:04:17.236 do about what I'm going through? Or why are they 0:04:17.556 --> 0:04:23.356 still able to laugh and do normal everyday things and 0:04:23.956 --> 0:04:27.276 feel like that's okay when I can't. Can you say more? 0:04:27.876 --> 0:04:30.836 You mentioned that you felt socially isolated, and I'm wondering 0:04:30.836 --> 0:04:32.796 if you can. I think this is so relatable for 0:04:32.836 --> 0:04:38.396 so many people who go through unexpected and rare challenges 0:04:38.516 --> 0:04:41.236 right that they don't feel that other people can relate 0:04:41.236 --> 0:04:46.556 to them. So it's definitely a grief experience. So earlier 0:04:46.556 --> 0:04:48.076 in life, I had to greet the loss of my 0:04:48.116 --> 0:04:49.876 mom when she passed my when I was young, but 0:04:50.436 --> 0:04:53.116 it's similar in that you go through the same motions. 0:04:53.156 --> 0:04:58.196 I was in denial, and then I felt upset that 0:04:58.356 --> 0:05:00.836 I was going through this and other people didn't understand. 0:05:00.916 --> 0:05:06.436 I felt alone. Then I felt sad. I felt at times, 0:05:06.476 --> 0:05:08.836 not often, but at times I felt sorry for myself, 0:05:08.876 --> 0:05:10.796 like wondering why this was happening to me and not 0:05:10.916 --> 0:05:16.116 somebody else. And then I think I had to allow 0:05:16.236 --> 0:05:18.756 myself to sit in that space and feel that sadness 0:05:18.836 --> 0:05:23.516 and feel that loss. I basically allowed myself to pity 0:05:23.596 --> 0:05:28.236 myself and allowed myself to cry about it and ask 0:05:28.516 --> 0:05:31.556 why is this happening to me and tell myself this 0:05:31.676 --> 0:05:35.956 really sucks. And it took some time, a lot of 0:05:35.996 --> 0:05:39.276 thinking and just kind of ruminating with my own thoughts 0:05:39.276 --> 0:05:41.956 in my head. That it helped me come to the 0:05:41.996 --> 0:05:45.596 realization that no matter what happens, the world is going 0:05:45.676 --> 0:05:49.836 to keep on moving on. So the sun will continue 0:05:49.876 --> 0:05:52.956 to rise, continue to set, regardless of what happens. And 0:05:53.276 --> 0:05:55.476 it is a weird feeling, and I feel like I've 0:05:55.516 --> 0:05:57.236 gone through this before with the loss of my mom. 0:05:57.356 --> 0:05:58.956 Is like you wake up the next day and you're like, 0:05:59.636 --> 0:06:02.756 there are still people driving to work, There's still people 0:06:02.796 --> 0:06:05.796 going to school, There's still you know, people are still 0:06:05.796 --> 0:06:08.156 living their lives, even though my life feels like it 0:06:08.276 --> 0:06:11.476 just got turned up side down. You know, you mentioned 0:06:11.556 --> 0:06:14.076 that you had lost your mother at a young age. 0:06:15.276 --> 0:06:18.636 I imagine that this forced a kind of independence on you, 0:06:18.756 --> 0:06:22.956 and I'm wondering whether that independent mindset in some ways 0:06:23.036 --> 0:06:28.676 prepared you for this moment of deteriorating vision. It's interesting 0:06:28.676 --> 0:06:30.876 you say that because I almost thought it was the opposite. 0:06:30.916 --> 0:06:32.916 So because I lost my mom when I was young, 0:06:33.076 --> 0:06:35.276 I did feel like I had to grow up fairly 0:06:35.356 --> 0:06:39.316 quickly and become very independent and rely mostly on myself. 0:06:39.436 --> 0:06:42.836 And when I lost my mom, I realized that you 0:06:42.956 --> 0:06:47.356 cannot depend on any person in your life because in 0:06:47.396 --> 0:06:49.596 a second that person could be gone and then your 0:06:49.596 --> 0:06:53.236 whole world gets turned upside down. So I think for me, 0:06:54.476 --> 0:06:57.676 losing my mom forced me to be independent and not 0:06:57.756 --> 0:07:00.036 depend on the people. But actually, when I started losing 0:07:00.036 --> 0:07:04.316 my vision, I had to give up independence and I 0:07:04.356 --> 0:07:06.796 had to depend on people more and ask for help 0:07:06.876 --> 0:07:11.956 for even the most mundane of tasks like reading my 0:07:12.036 --> 0:07:17.556 mail or trying to identify things in the refrigerator, or 0:07:18.996 --> 0:07:22.556 pouring myself a glass of water to drink, And so 0:07:22.716 --> 0:07:26.276 it stripped me of my independence. So in a way, 0:07:26.676 --> 0:07:29.636 I really wasn't prepared for that, because losing my mom 0:07:29.636 --> 0:07:32.636 did make me independent, and then losing my vision made 0:07:32.636 --> 0:07:35.676 me learn to be dependent again. Yeah, and it sounds 0:07:35.676 --> 0:07:39.436 like from what you're describing that being independent had become 0:07:39.556 --> 0:07:42.756 a large part of your identity, So maybe you were 0:07:42.756 --> 0:07:45.476 in part grieving a loss of independence since you were 0:07:45.516 --> 0:07:46.836 now going to have to rely on people in a 0:07:46.836 --> 0:07:50.516 way that you hadn't before. Oh, definitely. I always say 0:07:50.596 --> 0:07:54.196 the hardest thing about the vision loss was the loss 0:07:54.236 --> 0:07:56.796 of some of the independence that I was used to. 0:08:00.356 --> 0:08:03.836 So your vision is slowly deteriorating. Is there a moment 0:08:04.036 --> 0:08:07.836 where maybe it hits you for the first time, this 0:08:07.916 --> 0:08:10.556 is not getting better in the past. Maybe I've been 0:08:10.556 --> 0:08:13.076 able to fight my way through problems that this is 0:08:13.156 --> 0:08:16.476 one I just don't have any chance against it. I 0:08:16.516 --> 0:08:19.676 think I had several moments like that, One of which 0:08:19.716 --> 0:08:22.156 I that really stands out of my head was a 0:08:22.196 --> 0:08:26.076 moment when I had lost some more vision. And like 0:08:26.116 --> 0:08:29.196 I'd mentioned, it was gradual over the years, So anytime 0:08:29.636 --> 0:08:31.756 it would decrease a little bit to a new baseline, 0:08:31.796 --> 0:08:34.076 I would start getting used to that base on be like, Okay, 0:08:34.076 --> 0:08:36.316 well this is I can live with this. I'm getting 0:08:36.356 --> 0:08:39.196 used to it. I can figure out how to still 0:08:39.276 --> 0:08:42.436 walk around without a white cane, or I can enlarge 0:08:42.436 --> 0:08:45.276 the font on my computer to thirty five point font 0:08:45.316 --> 0:08:47.916 and still read my screen or whatnot. And then I 0:08:47.916 --> 0:08:49.956 would as soon as I would get used to that 0:08:50.716 --> 0:08:54.156 new baseline of my vision, it would decrease more and 0:08:54.156 --> 0:08:55.996 I would lose more vision, and I'd have to feel 0:08:55.996 --> 0:08:59.236 like I would start over. So I remember there was 0:08:59.276 --> 0:09:03.236 one particular time when my vision pretty much decreased to 0:09:03.276 --> 0:09:06.036 the level that it is now, which I describe as 0:09:06.836 --> 0:09:10.196 very very blurry and very washed out colors, and I 0:09:10.276 --> 0:09:12.916 just see some foggy shapes, as though if you were 0:09:12.916 --> 0:09:15.036 to step out of a very very hot shower and 0:09:15.116 --> 0:09:18.956 your mirrors all fogged up and with the steam. That's 0:09:19.036 --> 0:09:22.676 kind of how I see. So it's very very very blurry, 0:09:22.836 --> 0:09:26.116 don't see much color, maybe some slight shapes, but everything's 0:09:26.356 --> 0:09:30.276 foggy and hazy. When it decreased to this level. I 0:09:30.316 --> 0:09:32.476 remember I was living alone at the time, and I 0:09:32.516 --> 0:09:35.076 was trying to make a sandwich for myself, and I 0:09:35.116 --> 0:09:37.596 thought the easiest thing was going to be peanut butter jelly. 0:09:37.956 --> 0:09:39.836 So I was like, okay, I could find the bread. 0:09:39.876 --> 0:09:42.236 It's already sliced up. I just pulled the slices out, 0:09:42.276 --> 0:09:44.596 and I would just find the peanut butter by smell, 0:09:44.796 --> 0:09:46.956 find the jelly by smell, and then use a butter 0:09:47.036 --> 0:09:49.396 knife to spread the peanut butter and the jelly on 0:09:49.436 --> 0:09:52.396 the two slices of bread. But I think I was 0:09:52.876 --> 0:09:57.316 in a very precarious mental state at that time, already 0:09:57.716 --> 0:09:59.916 and it's not that the sandwich has to be perfect 0:09:59.916 --> 0:10:02.396 to be edible and good. But I noticed that when 0:10:02.436 --> 0:10:04.516 I put the jelly on the slice of bread and 0:10:04.556 --> 0:10:07.596 all of the jelly got all over the counter. It 0:10:07.716 --> 0:10:10.396 dripped down my arm when I tried to line the 0:10:10.476 --> 0:10:14.356 two slices of bread together, Like, the sandwich seemed not perfect. 0:10:14.436 --> 0:10:17.796 It was growing up to I'm very much a perfectionist, 0:10:17.796 --> 0:10:20.396 and I still sort of am. So I think just 0:10:20.836 --> 0:10:25.196 not being able to make a perfect PBJ sandwich at 0:10:25.196 --> 0:10:28.196 that time was kind of like the straw that broke 0:10:28.236 --> 0:10:32.116 the camel's back. And I remember being very frustrated myself, 0:10:32.156 --> 0:10:35.956 throwing that sandwich away and just telling myself, I don't 0:10:35.956 --> 0:10:38.116 think I'll be able to ever cook again. I don't 0:10:38.116 --> 0:10:40.716 know how I'll be independent again. You know, that's a 0:10:40.756 --> 0:10:44.156 moment that stands out in my head, but I've had 0:10:44.196 --> 0:10:48.916 many of similar moments like that. Yeah, it strikes me 0:10:48.956 --> 0:10:54.876 that in the face of protracted vision deterioration. You know, 0:10:54.916 --> 0:10:57.516 the obvious upside is that it's giving you time to 0:10:57.636 --> 0:11:01.756 adapt to your new world and find new habits and 0:11:01.796 --> 0:11:04.956 restructure your life. But on the other hand, there is 0:11:04.996 --> 0:11:08.516 this tortuous aspect that you described, which is, you know, 0:11:08.556 --> 0:11:12.476 you're clearly a highly motivated and adaptive person, adaptable person, 0:11:12.556 --> 0:11:15.116 and at every step you're saying, Okay, I got this, 0:11:15.276 --> 0:11:17.276 I got this, folks, I can I can work at 0:11:17.276 --> 0:11:19.956 this level. And then you're taunted by the fact that 0:11:19.996 --> 0:11:22.196 it just keeps getting worse. And so I imagine, yeah, 0:11:22.236 --> 0:11:23.596 you just kind of want to rip off the band 0:11:23.596 --> 0:11:25.156 aid at a certain point and know what the end 0:11:25.196 --> 0:11:29.676 outcome is. Yeah. I'm always the kind of person too 0:11:29.716 --> 0:11:31.756 that would rather know the bad news than not know. 0:11:31.916 --> 0:11:33.996 So it's always so much more anxiety of not knowing, 0:11:34.036 --> 0:11:37.036 like oh, will my vision get worse or will I 0:11:37.076 --> 0:11:40.356 be able to get you know exactly? So where do 0:11:40.396 --> 0:11:43.836 you go from the peanut butter and jelly sandwich moment? 0:11:45.156 --> 0:11:49.996 I allowed myself for however long I needed to feel 0:11:49.996 --> 0:11:52.116 bad about not being able to make a peanut butter 0:11:52.196 --> 0:11:56.036 jelly sandwich, and then slowly I think I just thought 0:11:56.076 --> 0:12:00.356 more about Okay, well I didn't get it right that time, 0:12:00.516 --> 0:12:03.076 but when I'm in a better headspace, so let me 0:12:03.116 --> 0:12:06.716 try again. And then I would notice I could incrementally 0:12:07.356 --> 0:12:10.716 improve at little things in the kitchen. I noticed that 0:12:11.116 --> 0:12:13.156 as days went by and weeks went by and I 0:12:13.156 --> 0:12:15.716 would attempt a little bit more things in the kitchen 0:12:15.716 --> 0:12:19.036 to try to just feed myself. I would be like, oh, 0:12:19.076 --> 0:12:21.556 today I was able to cut an orange and eat 0:12:21.596 --> 0:12:23.356 an orange. And then maybe the next day I was 0:12:23.396 --> 0:12:26.956 able to scramble an egg. Maybe some of it was burnt, 0:12:27.036 --> 0:12:29.196 but I was still able to do an egg. And 0:12:29.196 --> 0:12:31.876 then then week after that, I was able to scramble 0:12:31.916 --> 0:12:34.476 an egg that wasn't burnt. And then looking back, I 0:12:34.476 --> 0:12:37.916 would notice my progress and the steps forward that I 0:12:37.996 --> 0:12:40.876 was taking. So I had to tell myself like, Okay, 0:12:40.876 --> 0:12:43.196 well I couldn't do this a week ago, or a 0:12:43.196 --> 0:12:45.756 month ago or six months ago. And then when you 0:12:45.796 --> 0:12:48.916 realize that you're making progress, I think it helps build confidence, 0:12:49.236 --> 0:12:51.516 and then that confidence gives you the courage to keep 0:12:51.556 --> 0:12:55.036 trying bigger and better things and putting yourself to the 0:12:55.156 --> 0:12:58.076 challenge and realizing that even if you fail the first 0:12:58.076 --> 0:13:00.316 time or make a mistake, you learn from that and 0:13:00.356 --> 0:13:03.836 you reassess and you try again. Yeah, you know, you 0:13:03.916 --> 0:13:07.436 mentioned the victory you felt it at being able to 0:13:07.556 --> 0:13:09.716 peel an orange, and I'm wondering if you can tell 0:13:09.756 --> 0:13:12.716 me more about how it is you had to change 0:13:12.716 --> 0:13:15.156 your relationship with cooking. You know, at the time it 0:13:15.276 --> 0:13:18.716 was simply a hobby of yours, but what was involved 0:13:18.836 --> 0:13:22.676 in relearning how to cook and navigate the kitchen safely. 0:13:24.116 --> 0:13:27.076 It remained a hobby of mine for quite a long time, 0:13:27.156 --> 0:13:29.836 and I was losing my vision in this at the 0:13:29.876 --> 0:13:34.596 same time when I was voraciously teaching myself how to 0:13:34.596 --> 0:13:37.556 cook and reading all sorts of cookbooks and experimenting in 0:13:37.596 --> 0:13:40.916 the kitchen. So each time I would lose a little 0:13:40.916 --> 0:13:42.916 bit more vision and it would decrease to like some 0:13:43.796 --> 0:13:46.956 new level. I would have to teach myself again how 0:13:46.996 --> 0:13:49.796 to accomplish the same things in the kitchen. And like 0:13:49.836 --> 0:13:52.196 I said, it was kind of a matter of taking 0:13:52.196 --> 0:13:55.476 these small steps and celebrating these small victories. But eventually 0:13:55.596 --> 0:13:59.076 I would just focus on being able to do things 0:13:59.156 --> 0:14:03.076 with my remaining four senses. And that actually taught me 0:14:03.116 --> 0:14:06.316 that cooking is much more of a multisensory or deal 0:14:06.436 --> 0:14:10.356 than we often expect. Like you can definitely get buy 0:14:10.436 --> 0:14:13.316 in the kitchen with your sense of touch and your 0:14:13.316 --> 0:14:15.996 sense of smell and your sense of taste. Those things 0:14:15.996 --> 0:14:17.876 I would say are the most important in the kitchen. 0:14:18.516 --> 0:14:22.396 And yes, it would help visually probably to tell if 0:14:22.436 --> 0:14:25.716 something is cooked in a pan. But over the years, 0:14:25.756 --> 0:14:27.876 with a lot of experience, I'm able to tell if 0:14:27.916 --> 0:14:30.716 something is cooked by the texture and how it feels 0:14:30.716 --> 0:14:33.516 at the end of my cooking utensil, or by the 0:14:33.556 --> 0:14:35.996 smell of like garlic, you can tell if it's raw, 0:14:36.116 --> 0:14:39.756 or if it's fragrant, or if it's burnt. So just 0:14:40.436 --> 0:14:43.596 learning over time to rely on my remaining four senses 0:14:43.676 --> 0:14:46.516 much more so than my sense of vision, was really 0:14:46.556 --> 0:14:49.276 how I got back into the kitchen and taught myself 0:14:49.276 --> 0:14:51.236 how to cook a lot of the dishes that I'd 0:14:51.236 --> 0:14:54.516 cooked before. And I actually think with my sense of 0:14:54.596 --> 0:14:59.276 sight out of the picture, I became much more of 0:14:59.356 --> 0:15:02.636 a nuanced cook in the kitchen, and I would pay 0:15:02.716 --> 0:15:06.356 much more attention to the small changes that a seasoning 0:15:06.396 --> 0:15:08.436 would make in a dish, and I'd pay much more 0:15:08.436 --> 0:15:11.196 attention to how things taste in your mouth when it 0:15:11.236 --> 0:15:14.276 comes to temperature and texture. And so I think that 0:15:14.356 --> 0:15:17.236 allowed me to focus more on those aspects of food, 0:15:17.356 --> 0:15:20.036 which helped me in some way become a better cook. 0:15:20.916 --> 0:15:23.516 So you end up writing a blog about your experiences 0:15:23.556 --> 0:15:26.556 in the kitchen at a website you create, which is 0:15:26.556 --> 0:15:31.796 called the blindcook dot com, and somewhat unexpectedly, the casting 0:15:31.836 --> 0:15:35.796 crew of this reality TV show, Master Chef, catches wind 0:15:35.796 --> 0:15:39.476 of your blog and ends up reaching out to you. Yeah. 0:15:39.476 --> 0:15:41.476 I was a strange one at first because I didn't 0:15:41.516 --> 0:15:47.236 believe it. And I remember I received an email through 0:15:47.276 --> 0:15:50.956 the contact form and they said, Hi, I'm the casting 0:15:50.956 --> 0:15:53.916 producer for a show called Master Chef. It's with Gordon Ramsey. 0:15:53.956 --> 0:15:57.516 It's on Fox. We wanted to see if you would 0:15:57.516 --> 0:16:01.516 like to audition. And I asked my husband and I 0:16:01.556 --> 0:16:04.156 was like, Hey, isn't this name familiar, Gordon Ramsey, And 0:16:04.196 --> 0:16:06.836 John's like, yeah, that's the chef that's from the UK 0:16:06.956 --> 0:16:08.716 that's on like Hell's Kitchen and all that stuff, and 0:16:08.716 --> 0:16:11.596 he's always known for cursing at people blah blah blah. 0:16:11.636 --> 0:16:13.876 And then he was like, Oh, if that's legitimate, you 0:16:13.916 --> 0:16:17.476 should totally go an audition for the show. But we 0:16:17.476 --> 0:16:20.876 were like, is this for real. So at the time too, 0:16:20.916 --> 0:16:25.876 I was very anonymous, Like I'm naturally an introvert and 0:16:26.596 --> 0:16:31.156 you know, pretty private person. So my blog had no 0:16:31.236 --> 0:16:33.916 pictures of me, did not have my real name on there. 0:16:34.116 --> 0:16:36.676 I kept it very anonymous so that if you went 0:16:36.716 --> 0:16:38.436 to that blog you would never know who it was, 0:16:39.076 --> 0:16:41.316 and they reach out just wondering if I was a 0:16:41.396 --> 0:16:43.596 real person, because you know, there were no photos of me. 0:16:43.636 --> 0:16:46.396 There was nothing about my bio really on there except 0:16:46.476 --> 0:16:48.836 I just wrote recipes and what it was like to 0:16:48.876 --> 0:16:54.076 be as someone who's visually impaired. And so I said, okay, 0:16:54.116 --> 0:16:56.916 I will come audition, and you know, I went to 0:16:56.916 --> 0:17:00.716 the open casting call in auditions in Austin, and when 0:17:00.756 --> 0:17:03.236 the producers were traveling around the country trying to look 0:17:03.276 --> 0:17:07.196 for season three cast, and then the rest was kind 0:17:07.196 --> 0:17:09.356 of history. Well, it's not going to be his tree 0:17:09.436 --> 0:17:12.676 right now. I want to hear all. I want to 0:17:12.676 --> 0:17:17.396 hear all about your experience on Master Chef. So you know, 0:17:17.436 --> 0:17:20.556 I personally remember seeing you walking out on a set 0:17:20.596 --> 0:17:23.676 to make your first dish as a competitor in a 0:17:23.756 --> 0:17:27.156 kitchen that was largely unfamiliar to you and that you're 0:17:27.196 --> 0:17:30.316 not able to see. And on top of all that, 0:17:30.476 --> 0:17:33.916 there's the added pressure of making a dish that's going 0:17:33.956 --> 0:17:36.996 to be judged by three of the most famous chefs 0:17:36.996 --> 0:17:40.836 in the world. What was that, like, Christine, Like what? 0:17:42.156 --> 0:17:46.196 I can't imagine that mounting pressure. There was definitely a 0:17:46.196 --> 0:17:49.156 lot of pressure. It was nerve wracking, I mean I 0:17:49.236 --> 0:17:52.916 was in a space that, you know, in a big warehouse, 0:17:52.956 --> 0:17:55.196 with a lot of people I'd never met before, all 0:17:55.196 --> 0:17:58.676 of the other contestants. I've never been familiar with what 0:17:58.876 --> 0:18:02.636 the entertainment world or television world was like, so I 0:18:02.676 --> 0:18:05.036 had no idea what to expect with all these lights, 0:18:05.076 --> 0:18:09.356 these directors, all of these like cameras rolling on dollies. Course, 0:18:09.396 --> 0:18:11.756 a lot of it I couldn't even see, so all 0:18:11.796 --> 0:18:13.996 I could hear was just a lot of noise around me. 0:18:14.156 --> 0:18:16.516 So it was not only stressful knowing that I would 0:18:16.556 --> 0:18:20.076 have to cook a dish for these judges to taste, 0:18:20.116 --> 0:18:23.956 but stressful because I'm in a foreign environment as someone 0:18:23.996 --> 0:18:26.956 who's visual impaired and has no idea what's going on 0:18:27.156 --> 0:18:30.276 around me except with the context clues of what I hear, 0:18:30.396 --> 0:18:34.116 what I smell. Wow. Well, I mean, things obviously went 0:18:34.556 --> 0:18:38.196 very well for you after that first dish. You kept 0:18:38.236 --> 0:18:41.636 advancing through the rounds, and such a poignant moment as 0:18:41.636 --> 0:18:45.276 when Gordon Ramsay said your apple pie looked stunning and 0:18:45.476 --> 0:18:50.356 of course tasted amazing and delicious. He was just really 0:18:50.396 --> 0:18:53.116 blown at the fact that I totally thought I fed 0:18:53.236 --> 0:18:56.636 him a pile of rubbish, which is now the running joke. 0:18:56.716 --> 0:18:59.116 So at my restaurants, my apple pie that served there 0:18:59.156 --> 0:19:01.596 as a dessert is called the rubbish apple pie because 0:19:01.596 --> 0:19:03.836 when he asked me, I'm like, I think it looks 0:19:03.836 --> 0:19:05.636 like a pile of rubbish. And I only use that 0:19:05.636 --> 0:19:07.276 word too, because in my head I was like so 0:19:07.356 --> 0:19:09.516 nervous and I really wanted to say looks like a 0:19:09.516 --> 0:19:11.236 pile of shit. But then I was like, oh, I'm 0:19:11.276 --> 0:19:13.996 on television. I can't use that word. So I'm like, naturally, 0:19:14.036 --> 0:19:15.996 I'm like, oh, he must use the word rubbish because 0:19:15.996 --> 0:19:18.876 he's from the He's from the UK. I was like, oh, 0:19:18.916 --> 0:19:22.036 it must look like rub pile of rubbish, and you know, 0:19:22.076 --> 0:19:25.636 he he told me. He was like, no, it definitely doesn't. 0:19:25.636 --> 0:19:29.076 It looks great. The crust is golden and flaky, and 0:19:29.076 --> 0:19:31.516 and then he scraped a knife or a fork on 0:19:31.556 --> 0:19:34.316 top of it to let me hear that it actually 0:19:34.356 --> 0:19:38.756 baked to the correct flakiness level. And then he cut 0:19:38.756 --> 0:19:40.836 out a slice of pie that I guess held together 0:19:40.956 --> 0:19:45.676 and then taste it and said it tasted good. We'll 0:19:45.676 --> 0:19:47.876 be back in a moment with a slight change of plans, 0:19:47.956 --> 0:19:50.676 when we'll hear more from Christine about her experience on 0:19:50.796 --> 0:20:03.116 Master Chef. There was this one moment when you were 0:20:03.116 --> 0:20:07.036 on Master Chef that really affected me where you said 0:20:07.076 --> 0:20:09.836 you felt your vision impairment was affecting p Full's ability 0:20:09.956 --> 0:20:14.116 to focus on what mattered most, which was your cooking skills. 0:20:15.196 --> 0:20:18.516 I didn't want people to think that what I was 0:20:18.596 --> 0:20:21.996 doing was so great or even better because it was 0:20:22.196 --> 0:20:24.676 someone that's visual impaired. I wanted to compete on the 0:20:24.716 --> 0:20:27.316 same level and be judged at the same level as 0:20:27.356 --> 0:20:31.516 everybody else. While yes, maybe it's going to be harder 0:20:31.596 --> 0:20:34.116 for me to do things because I'm visually impaired, but 0:20:34.156 --> 0:20:38.716 I didn't want that to be my quote unquote handicap. 0:20:39.076 --> 0:20:41.516 I wanted people to focus more and judge me and 0:20:41.596 --> 0:20:46.276 give me true constructive criticism based on my merits in 0:20:46.516 --> 0:20:49.996 the food I was putting up to be judged. Yeah, 0:20:50.036 --> 0:20:53.156 and did you feel that by the end of the 0:20:53.196 --> 0:20:56.636 process that was happening for you? I do. I mean 0:20:56.716 --> 0:21:00.676 I it wasn't easy, so coming into it, they had 0:21:00.716 --> 0:21:04.276 to adapt my particular cooking stations so that I could 0:21:04.356 --> 0:21:07.636 use it as a cook who's visually impaired. So I 0:21:07.716 --> 0:21:11.476 needed some assist since in certain ways or adaptations that 0:21:11.636 --> 0:21:15.156 made sense. But it's not like I would ask for 0:21:15.916 --> 0:21:19.636 more time for my challenge or expect like a different ingredient, 0:21:20.276 --> 0:21:22.956 or expect special rules to be made for me. So 0:21:23.716 --> 0:21:26.076 at the beginning, yes, I did feel that insecurity that 0:21:26.116 --> 0:21:29.796 I wasn't sure how I would be treated because I'm 0:21:29.796 --> 0:21:32.836 sure a lot of people had never expected someone who 0:21:32.876 --> 0:21:34.396 was visual impaired to be able to cook. And I 0:21:34.396 --> 0:21:37.716 remember some people asking me like, well, how are you 0:21:37.756 --> 0:21:40.676 going to cook? Like are you going to stand on 0:21:40.716 --> 0:21:44.556 the side and call out your recipe and have your 0:21:44.636 --> 0:21:46.916 husband My husband John was there at the time to 0:21:47.036 --> 0:21:49.716 assist me as my sided guide. They were wondering if 0:21:49.716 --> 0:21:51.276 he would do all the cutting and I would just 0:21:51.316 --> 0:21:53.436 be on the sidelines, like telling him what to do. 0:21:53.516 --> 0:21:55.516 And I'm like, in my head, i was dump out 0:21:55.596 --> 0:21:57.436 and I'm like, no, I'm going to use the knife 0:21:57.476 --> 0:22:01.316 of course, like that would be weird. So there was 0:22:01.436 --> 0:22:04.116 those kinds of questions from people who I think were 0:22:04.116 --> 0:22:08.196 completely surprised to see someone who's visual impaired, or they 0:22:08.196 --> 0:22:10.316 thought that I was like gimmick that was brought on 0:22:10.356 --> 0:22:13.996 by the producers for just for the ratings. And I 0:22:14.116 --> 0:22:16.676 was also insecure because still in the back of my head. 0:22:16.716 --> 0:22:19.076 I'm like, yeah, I do have a disability that will 0:22:19.716 --> 0:22:22.356 that will make it harder for me to compete with 0:22:22.476 --> 0:22:26.276 everyone else who's sided. But I think as the competition 0:22:26.716 --> 0:22:31.836 went on, I started understanding what my strengths were, and 0:22:31.916 --> 0:22:34.396 I started playing to those strengths, and I think that's 0:22:34.396 --> 0:22:36.636 what helped me go all the way to the end. 0:22:37.676 --> 0:22:41.436 And what did you feel those strengths were. Well, the 0:22:41.556 --> 0:22:45.076