Speaker 1: Hi. I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,
Speaker 1: and speaker.
Speaker 2: And I'm Sarah Hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer,
Speaker 2: and course creator. We are two working parents who love
Speaker 2: our careers and our families.
Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about
Speaker 1: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.
Speaker 1: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long term career goals.
Speaker 1: We want you to get the most out of life.
Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura. This
Speaker 1: episode is airing in late November of twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: We are going to be talking about dreaming big, the
Speaker 1: idea of creating time and space for thinking about your future,
Speaker 1: about planning the upcoming year. In particular, we're going to
Speaker 1: be talking about our recent experience with Best Laid Plans Live,
Speaker 1: which was a fun little get together that Sarah and
Speaker 1: I were part of a couple weeks ago. But first,
Speaker 1: this is airing the week of Thanksgiving. Sarah, do you
Speaker 1: have any fun family traditions or anything you're doing this year?
Speaker 2: Yeah, We're doing our kind of usual Thanksgiving this year,
Speaker 2: which doesn't involve travel and is fairly low key. My
Speaker 2: kids are off for an entire week, and that has
Speaker 2: been the case for a few years now, except for
Speaker 2: one random year when the Montessori school decided we'll open
Speaker 2: half a day on Monday and that's it. But beyond
Speaker 2: that they realized that that didn't make any sense, and
Speaker 2: so the public schools, the private schools, pretty much everyone
Speaker 2: in South Florida is off for the entire week of Thanksgiving,
Speaker 2: and we plan to stick around. We have some family
Speaker 2: gatherings planned. We have a friends Giving that we've been doing,
Speaker 2: I think for the third or fourth year in a
Speaker 2: row now. That usually is on Saturday, and I definitely
Speaker 2: want to see the Wicked sequel.
Speaker 1: Put that on the calendar for sure. Yeah, I need
Speaker 1: to shift my mental model of Thanksgiving. So up until
Speaker 1: this year, our school district had class on Monday and
Speaker 1: Tuesday and a half day Wednesday, So in my mind,
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving was not a particularly available weekend or you know,
Speaker 1: for travel or anything like that. And plus we all
Speaker 1: often do the actual Thanksgiving meal itself with my side
Speaker 1: of the family, and everyone's within a few hours of here,
Speaker 1: so there's not extensive travel like you just drive to
Speaker 1: either We're hosting or a drive to somebody else's house,
Speaker 1: but it's a day trip whatever it's going to be,
Speaker 1: so we're generally not flying anywhere. However, this year they
Speaker 1: switched it. They got rid of half days, which is nice,
Speaker 1: so we do not have school on Wednesday, and that
Speaker 1: was fine. I was like, oh, okay, well, you know,
Speaker 1: I hadn't really built that into my mental model, but fine.
Speaker 1: And then I was talking to some people and looked
Speaker 1: at it and realized the elementary and middle schools are
Speaker 1: actually doing conferences on Tuesday, so it wasn't on the
Speaker 1: mass to school district calendar because they don't do like
Speaker 1: individual schools calendar days on there. But three of the
Speaker 1: four children who are home do not have school on
Speaker 1: that day, so and that may be the case in
Speaker 1: the future too, in which case, oh my goodness, Like
Speaker 1: I think we could go somewhere. I mean, that's like
Speaker 1: a major time off, you know. So I'm pondering, like
Speaker 1: in the future if we want to take a trip
Speaker 1: or something like that. As it is, we're gonna be
Speaker 1: sticking around here because I didn't make any last minute
Speaker 1: plans for that, and I'm just gonna be working because
Speaker 1: I've got a lot of work going on. But yeah,
Speaker 1: it's different, different mental models. Sometimes the calendar sneaks up
Speaker 1: on you.
Speaker 2: And there is that from a work perspective, it can
Speaker 2: be difficult. I mean, I'm definitely not off all week
Speaker 2: for clinical. I am working Tuesdays, so or Nanny will
Speaker 2: be coming that day. I know I'll be recording a
Speaker 2: ton on Monday as I'm preparing for my book launch.
Speaker 2: And you do have to always remember those work trade offs.
Speaker 2: Where winter break is also coming up for us, that's
Speaker 2: two weeks off. I do travel for that time, and
Speaker 2: it tends to be very busy. From like a annual
Speaker 2: planning leader perspective, I guess. So I don't know for me,
Speaker 2: like as much as it would be nice to travel,
Speaker 2: I think that I'm gonna keep Thanksgiving low key even
Speaker 2: though we have a week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, there is true we are traveling over
Speaker 1: Christmas and there will be time off then too, and
Speaker 1: so Thanksgiving comes close before that. So there are trade
Speaker 1: offs at this and as always with controlling your own schedules,
Speaker 1: like well I can do things, should I do things?
Speaker 1: I don't know, so many things to ponder with that,
Speaker 1: but we will get started on some of the items
Speaker 1: on the holiday fun list. I think we'll wind up
Speaker 1: going to Dutch Wonderland, which is a little I mean,
Speaker 1: Sarah probably knows this, but it's a small amusement park
Speaker 1: around here that also does holiday light show displays. And
Speaker 1: they had a flash sale with really cheap tickets. I
Speaker 1: mean not when there are seven people, They're never cheap,
Speaker 1: but you know, it was cheaper than a lot of
Speaker 1: other things could have been. So I got that for
Speaker 1: all of us, And we'll probably go to Longwood Gardens,
Speaker 1: which is often challenging to get a reservation for Longwood Christmas,
Speaker 1: but I got the membership where you don't have to
Speaker 1: make reservations. That was my investment in my family's flexibility
Speaker 1: for this year. So happy about that. But yeah, are
Speaker 1: you guys doing any holiday stuff over Thanksgiving?
Speaker 2: Or I feel like we kick off our kind of
Speaker 2: fun holiday stuff after. So it's just going to be
Speaker 2: more family focused in Thanksgiving. Like I want to save
Speaker 2: my watching of Elf and our Nutcracker and like that's
Speaker 2: for later and Hankah. This year is it's like mid December.
Speaker 2: So yeah, I think our more holiday festivities will start
Speaker 2: post Thanksgiving, although I do plan on doing a lot
Speaker 2: of Black Friday Hanukkah shopping, which we have done in
Speaker 2: years past and has been a nice timing.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I hear that Sarah's kids have already made
Speaker 1: their PowerPoint presentations with their gift requests.
Speaker 2: Yes, they're quite elaborate. I don't know what that says
Speaker 2: about them, but it does make sure a little bit easier.
Speaker 2: Although we've made it very clear that just because there
Speaker 2: is a slide with something on it does not mean
Speaker 2: you will receive said item, because there's a lot of slides.
Speaker 1: As one of my children made a list that was
Speaker 1: quite long with astis under it saying, you know, I
Speaker 1: do not expect everything on this list. This is just
Speaker 1: to give you lots of options to choose from, so
Speaker 1: I will then be surprised. So I respect that. I respect. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So this episode is going to be some reflections from
Speaker 1: our recent Best Laid Plans Live extravaganza, which was in
Speaker 1: South Florida in early November. So Sarah, maybe you can
Speaker 1: tell a little bit about the background of how Best
Speaker 1: Laid Plans Live came to be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the idea came to me because Josh and I
Speaker 2: have had several kind of couples getaways that turned into
Speaker 2: many planning trips. They would often happen around our anniversary,
Speaker 2: so midyear or his birthday, which conveniently is towards the
Speaker 2: end of the year, and we'd start going through our
Speaker 2: calendars and kind of setting and I'm like, you know,
Speaker 2: this should be like a whole formalized thing. And I
Speaker 2: was very attracted to the idea of a you know,
Speaker 2: I talk about kind of planning in proportion to the
Speaker 2: level of the time frame that you're planning. So my
Speaker 2: yearly planning should really be I don't want to say, elaborate,
Speaker 2: but thoughtful and not rushed. And so, you know, I
Speaker 2: was doing these with Josh, and I think I might
Speaker 2: have said to him or thought about it, like, well,
Speaker 2: you know, anybody could do this and I could like
Speaker 2: prepackage it. And then I was like, you know, I
Speaker 2: wonder if anyone would actually want to come plan with me.
Speaker 2: And I also will give a shout out to another
Speaker 2: mother Runner because they hosted running retreats that I had
Speaker 2: always been like, hm, I kind of want to do
Speaker 2: that someday, so haha, won't be doing that, but at
Speaker 2: least I got them as inspo and I even emailed
Speaker 2: or called Sarah and she told me that running retreat
Speaker 2: was incredibly rewarding. This is Sarah from another mother runner,
Speaker 2: not myself, but to be careful because retreats are very
Speaker 2: expensive and it's not a good business plan. And I
Speaker 2: was like, well, okay, but that's fine. I want to
Speaker 2: do it anyway, like as long as I come out
Speaker 2: even or whatever, I want to see what this is, like,
Speaker 2: I'll go for it. And so, I mean, it did
Speaker 2: feel kind of risky because I was doing it entirely
Speaker 2: on my own. But this was fall of twenty twenty three.
Speaker 2: I had already taught the first round of bestleid Plans Academy,
Speaker 2: so I knew people were interested in planning with me.
Speaker 2: I don't remember if I had actually like floated the
Speaker 2: idea to this group or not, but went ahead and
Speaker 2: launched the tickets. Worked with a hotel, set up a package.
Speaker 2: I had a lot of fear about if you reserve
Speaker 2: space and then you don't sell the number of rooms,
Speaker 2: then you can be on the hook for them, so
Speaker 2: it's actually kind of scary. However, I tried to make
Speaker 2: the contract with enough wiggle rooms so that like I
Speaker 2: could call the whole thing off if it was like
Speaker 2: a total failure, and I wouldn't have to pay for
Speaker 2: twenty rooms or something like that anyway, So it all
Speaker 2: worked out. People signed up. We had about twenty participants
Speaker 2: that first year, including Laura, which was amazing and I
Speaker 2: really appreciated that.
Speaker 1: I think she really wanted to come right of course,
Speaker 1: of course, and it was a show of support, and
Speaker 1: we just had a blast.
Speaker 2: Like I remember thinking, oh, you know this, who knows
Speaker 2: these people won't get along whatever, And within like fifteen
Speaker 2: minutes it was like, oh, oh no, this is fine,
Speaker 2: this is going to be fine. I had crafted a
Speaker 2: curriculum and a workbook which I then later ended up
Speaker 2: repurposing for like an at home version, but it seemed
Speaker 2: to really work. There was even more discussion and kind
Speaker 2: of cross talk and cross pollination of different ideas and
Speaker 2: inspiration than I had even imagined.
Speaker 1: And I had a great time.
Speaker 2: But then I also was like, that was so much work,
Speaker 2: and you know, not everything's about money, but I think
Speaker 2: I might have like barely broken even who was like, wow,
Speaker 2: I spent so many hours and it was stressful doing
Speaker 2: it on my own. It felt very risky, and I
Speaker 2: said to Laura, like I am not entirely sure I
Speaker 2: can do this again, and she said, but it was
Speaker 2: really really good, Like anything I can do to help,
Speaker 2: you know, make it happen, Lisa's what I remember. And
Speaker 2: I'm like, do you want to do it with me?
Speaker 1: And I did, Yeah, No, I mean it was a
Speaker 1: lot of fun for me the first year going to it.
Speaker 1: I mean partly because people who were coming to Sarah's
Speaker 1: retreats sometimes knew me as well, and so they This
Speaker 1: is actually kind of a fun thing of having put
Speaker 1: my life out into the public world for lo these
Speaker 1: many years, is that people who listen to or read
Speaker 1: you like know enough about your life that you get
Speaker 1: to skip like twenty minutes of small talk in your
Speaker 1: first conversation because they already know like, oh that you
Speaker 1: have these kids or you've had these jobs, and you've
Speaker 1: done these things, and so they then start talking about
Speaker 1: the things they know you're going to find most interesting.
Speaker 1: It's like it makes her so much better conversations. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, well, this is great. These are already
Speaker 1: my friends. I mean, they're not really my friends. I
Speaker 1: didn't know them yet, but they became them.
Speaker 2: Right, They are truly like and now they definitely consider
Speaker 2: many of the attendees, I mean really all of them
Speaker 2: feel like friends at this point.
Speaker 1: Which was unexpected.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, Like, I don't think I went in thinking
Speaker 2: it was going to feel that way.
Speaker 1: Well, and so it was so much fun and so yeah,
Speaker 1: I wanted Sarah to do it again, and so I
Speaker 1: tell her we would just go split on it. We
Speaker 1: would run it together. We would split the upsplits, split
Speaker 1: the downside. Right, it's whatever it happens to be.
Speaker 2: It's been amazing because it feels better doing it as
Speaker 2: a team. For me, it feels less stressful, it feels
Speaker 2: more fun. I think we make a really fun team.
Speaker 2: I'll get like really like in the weeds about something
Speaker 2: in Laura is like, ugh, it's fine, Like I feel better.
Speaker 1: Well, it's true. I the upside of I mean, so
Speaker 1: we hold these things in South Florida, which, of course,
Speaker 1: I mean there's upsides that Sarah's local, like she doesn't
Speaker 1: have to travel there, which you know, travels its own
Speaker 1: special adventure. But on the other hand, that means I
Speaker 1: get to excuse myself from some of the details of
Speaker 1: like hotel choosing and the like. So you know, there
Speaker 1: are pluses and minuses with all of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And we actually ended up moving hotels this year
Speaker 2: and it was definitely I'm not saying anything. The prior
Speaker 2: hotel was great, but the hotel we moved to was
Speaker 2: definitely a notch nicer. I feel like it made the
Speaker 2: whole experience more elevated. I got a lot of positive feedback,
Speaker 2: but it did take work to move. As you put.
Speaker 2: We have a coordinator, Amanda, who is amazing. She was
Speaker 2: in attendee as well the first year and has since
Speaker 2: come on as an official coordinator role, and she helped
Speaker 2: me tour different places and helped me select them and
Speaker 2: then also does a lot of the kind of logistics
Speaker 2: work during the conference itself, so that even more, I
Speaker 2: don't feel like I'm like on the hook for oh,
Speaker 2: you know, where's the gluten free option that we requested
Speaker 2: at lunch or something like that.
Speaker 1: Yes, we don't have enough forks. Yeah, yeah, so that
Speaker 1: is not something that Sarah I have to think about
Speaker 1: during the retreated itself. Well, we're going to take a
Speaker 1: quick ad break and then we'll be back talking a
Speaker 1: little bit more about what happens at Best Laid Plans Live.
Speaker 1: So we are back talking about how to dream big
Speaker 1: about planning the upcoming year, particularly through the lens of
Speaker 1: having just done Best Laid Plans Live, which is a
Speaker 1: retreat that Sarah started in twenty twenty three and that
Speaker 1: I came on as a co host in twenty twenty
Speaker 1: four and repeated in twenty twenty five. So Sarah, talk
Speaker 1: about what we actually do at the retreat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll walk you through in case you want to
Speaker 2: create a DIY version or do something like this with friends.
Speaker 2: So okay, we spend the first evening and afternoon just
Speaker 2: really like getting to know each other, so it's a
Speaker 2: lot of icebreaker type stuff. This year we did a
Speaker 2: low stakes hot takes activity that was really fun, and
Speaker 2: we do like very brief introductions and do some activities
Speaker 2: where people can mingle a little bit, and then we
Speaker 2: sit down and get all quiet and set some intentions
Speaker 2: for the weekend so that people can really think about
Speaker 2: what do they want to come away with having accomplished
Speaker 2: with this protected time. And by the way, it is
Speaker 2: all women that have attended this retreat. We are not
Speaker 2: averse to having anybody of any gender register for our retreat,
Speaker 2: but so far that is the audience we've gotten, and
Speaker 2: many of these women have small kids at home, and
Speaker 2: so for them, not only is it the structured planning
Speaker 2: content they're here for, it's the space to do so.
Speaker 2: And so we want people to take that seriously, and
Speaker 2: that's why we do our little intention setting and then
Speaker 2: it's Laura's turn.
Speaker 1: Yay. Yeah. This year I led people through some calendar analysis.
Speaker 1: We had five women track their time for a week,
Speaker 1: and I had talked with them before the event through
Speaker 1: their schedules, and we'd come up with ideas for them
Speaker 1: to try. So we talked about some things that were
Speaker 1: working really well in their lives, and then we talked
Speaker 1: about some challenges they were having, and particularly we focused
Speaker 1: on challenges that might be slightly more broadly applicable. So
Speaker 1: among them was like figuring out what your hobby should be,
Speaker 1: so not just like, oh, I need to find time
Speaker 1: for my hobby. When people are busy enough, they are
Speaker 1: often spending so much mental effort on work and family
Speaker 1: that they don't even know what they would do for fun.
Speaker 1: And so when time starts to appear, like as your
Speaker 1: kids get older, you become enough good at your job
Speaker 1: that you don't have to put as much mental effort
Speaker 1: into certain things, because they kind of run like clockwork
Speaker 1: because you've set it up so amazingly, like you have
Speaker 1: space to do something else in life, but figuring out
Speaker 1: what that is can be complicated. So we talked about that.
Speaker 1: We talked about how to not hate life if you
Speaker 1: have a long commute, like how a long commute can
Speaker 1: be turned into project or gold time. Since I know
Speaker 1: we have a number of listeners and people who are
Speaker 1: attending a retreat who maybe took jobs over the last
Speaker 1: five years that were more fully remote and then have
Speaker 1: become less fully remote as the world has emerged from COVID,
Speaker 1: And while it's fun to be in the office, if
Speaker 1: you maybe purchased your house thinking you had a fully
Speaker 1: remote job and are now facing a very long commute
Speaker 1: two or three times a week, that can be challenging.
Speaker 1: And then spending more time in our zones of genius.
Speaker 1: One of the people who was attending our retreat as
Speaker 1: a religious leader, and so she's leading her congregation, and
Speaker 1: yet because it's sort of a smaller congregation, she's spending
Speaker 1: a lot of time on things like furniture assembly and
Speaker 1: property management and an administration. In general, we want our
Speaker 1: religious leaders to spend more time on the spiritual direction
Speaker 1: of their flock, and less time on putting together I
Speaker 1: can't furniture, so trying to figure out for all of
Speaker 1: us how we can spend more time in our zone
Speaker 1: of genius and less on other things.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's really interesting because even though you would
Speaker 2: think some of these challenges are so specific, you realize
Speaker 2: how truly universal many of them are. And then not
Speaker 2: only did Laura offer suggestions, but we got some fantastic
Speaker 2: and creative suggestions from all the women around the room
Speaker 2: as well, So it ended up being a really, really
Speaker 2: fun session. I definitely think we should do that next
Speaker 2: year as well.
Speaker 1: And then we had time for coming up with our
Speaker 1: list of one hundred dreams and for sharing some of
Speaker 1: those in small groups as well. Yes, and then we
Speaker 1: have fun.
Speaker 2: So this retreat again is really supposed to be something
Speaker 2: you look forward to. So we cap that all off
Speaker 2: with the reception the first night, with drinks and fun
Speaker 2: foods and stuff like that. Often there's an after party
Speaker 2: that I skip. I'm more fun later on, but as
Speaker 2: you'll hear, I do like the bulk of the kind
Speaker 2: of stand up teaching on the next couple of days,
Speaker 2: so I usually need to go to bed on that
Speaker 2: first night in order to kind of prepare myself. Okay,
Speaker 2: So then on day two, so the first day is
Speaker 2: a half day, the second day is a full day.
Speaker 1: It's a Friday.
Speaker 2: We get up early and there's an optional beat yoga,
Speaker 2: which Laura and I have enjoyed taking part of for
Speaker 2: the last three years now, and then we kind of
Speaker 2: head into hardcore planning modes. So there's a workbook and
Speaker 2: people get out their pens and we go through various exercises.
Speaker 2: We start with visioning type stuff like really long term dreaming,
Speaker 2: thinking about what we want our life to look like
Speaker 2: down the road and really kind of getting specific about that,
Speaker 2: and then zooming back in we look back about how
Speaker 2: the year has gone, which projects we are excited to
Speaker 2: have completed, which projects we are ready to move on from,
Speaker 2: and maybe those projects that we wish we had done
Speaker 2: but weren't in the cards for twenty twenty five, and
Speaker 2: we have to think about how we might reframe them
Speaker 2: or maybe add some more support to get them done.
Speaker 2: In twenty twenty six. We do like a big calendar
Speaker 2: deep dive, and then we do goal setting, and that's
Speaker 2: like a very spat up version because each of these
Speaker 2: things is usually kind of heads down time where people
Speaker 2: are writing in their workbooks, and then we'll ask people
Speaker 2: to share various things, often crowdsourcing, where there's maybe a
Speaker 2: little bit of tension or a dilemma for somebody, like oh,
Speaker 2: I wanted to do this, but you know it didn't
Speaker 2: work out, and anybody have the ideas for how that
Speaker 2: might be different This year, We take a break and
Speaker 2: then we do a ton of systems talk, and I
Speaker 2: actually restructure the retreat a little bit this year because
Speaker 2: it was kind of mixed in before where we'd be
Speaker 2: doing goal setting and then we'd kind of pivot to
Speaker 2: and how are you keeping track of these goals? And
Speaker 2: instead we did like all our goal setting kind of
Speaker 2: in the morning, and then the afternoon was about like
Speaker 2: the life systems that enable some of these things to happen,
Speaker 2: like when will you look at your goals lists? And
Speaker 2: how do you plan your week? And how do you
Speaker 2: handle all the loose ends coming at you and things
Speaker 2: like that. It's almost like a little mini Bestaid Plans academy.
Speaker 1: I guess.
Speaker 2: Then we relax again so people get a little bit
Speaker 2: of downtime, and then we all meet up for dinner,
Speaker 2: and then we have one more night, so the next
Speaker 2: morning there's a little again we always want people to
Speaker 2: be in the right mindset to enjoy themselves a little
Speaker 2: bit of outdoor time walking or running, whichever they want.
Speaker 2: And then we talk about a lot of just common
Speaker 2: hot topics, from time for deep focused work, to sharing
Speaker 2: the load with your partner, to managing technology. Meal planning,
Speaker 2: that's Laura's favorite part. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1: We could run a whole retreat on meal planning and.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's the spinoff.
Speaker 1: Just kidding.
Speaker 2: Anyway, and then there's usually tons of conversation by that
Speaker 2: point because everyone really feels like they know each other.
Speaker 2: We do some fun stuff like go around the room
Speaker 2: and share either like a fun you know, a love
Speaker 2: of the week or a word of the year, things
Speaker 2: like that, or one big goal we're hoping to be
Speaker 2: able to give positive news on the next year. And
Speaker 2: then we wrap up and everyone's really really sad to leave,
Speaker 2: including me.
Speaker 1: Well, and I was sad to leave, but I didn't
Speaker 1: get to leave.
Speaker 2: So yeah, that is true. Well, you got to enjoy
Speaker 2: some extra time with me.
Speaker 1: I were lucky. I did get to enjoy some extra
Speaker 1: time with Sarah. So this was early November. Thankfully we're
Speaker 1: through this now, but listeners may recall that the government
Speaker 1: shut down and the flight cancelations and such was happening
Speaker 1: right at this time, and so a number of people
Speaker 1: had delayed or canceled flights. My flight to Philadelphia was canceled,
Speaker 1: so I didn't get out till the next day. But
Speaker 1: the upside is I got to hang out with Sarah.
Speaker 2: I mean, we had thirty attendees and almost all of
Speaker 2: them flew in. There were a couple of Florians, but
Speaker 2: most were not local, and I think you were the
Speaker 2: only one that got stuck overnight.
Speaker 1: Okay, say, I'm just blessed.
Speaker 2: Yes, but we had a fun dinner and she slept
Speaker 2: over in my living room and it was great.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So you know, the idea is you
Speaker 1: want to come out of this with ideas for the
Speaker 1: next year and ways to think about your next year,
Speaker 1: and you know, looking at what time is available and
Speaker 1: how our goals are going to actually fit in our lives.
Speaker 1: I came out of it with a few things. I mean,
Speaker 1: we won't spoil our goals episode, but you know, it's
Speaker 1: even like random stuff like I want to actually wear
Speaker 1: my jewelry. I tend to forget to put it on.
Speaker 1: And then you know, I need to plan my next
Speaker 1: get together with Sarah, for it's always a treat when
Speaker 1: I am coming through a northern winter to February March
Speaker 1: head down to Florida for another best of both world's
Speaker 1: retreat with Sarah. So I realize, I need to get
Speaker 1: that on the calendar. So we have a rough date
Speaker 1: for that now.
Speaker 2: Yes, And I had like a revelation that I can
Speaker 2: combine my desire to see fall leaves with my desire
Speaker 2: to see my college friends. So going to work on
Speaker 2: that and I would say my incomplete but line of
Speaker 2: thinking is like I need a running replacement and what
Speaker 2: will that be? So I just started really thinking about that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And we have now had some of the same
Speaker 1: attendees who have been there for three years, and so
Speaker 1: we were starting to hear various goals that people set
Speaker 1: in the past that have happened, whether that's homes that
Speaker 1: have been remodeled, books published, new jobs landed, and sometimes
Speaker 1: people say that they didn't do something but they want
Speaker 1: to repeat it, which is fine. I know Sarah's had
Speaker 1: the experience of sometimes goals not happening one year and
Speaker 1: then she decides to reset it and it eventually does.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we talk about how if you do have a
Speaker 2: goal that wasn't meant you still want to do it,
Speaker 2: you probably need to approach it differently, Like whatever you
Speaker 2: were throwing at it before wasn't enough, But that doesn't
Speaker 2: mean that you need to cross it off the list.
Speaker 2: I mean, my book was on my hundred Dreams list
Speaker 2: for many years before it came to fruition.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, we're going to take one more quick ad
Speaker 1: break and then we'll be back talking about ways you
Speaker 1: can kind of diy then if you would like to, well,
Speaker 1: we are back talking about our experiences at Best Laid
Speaker 1: Plans Live. A few weeks ago or we had thirty
Speaker 1: attendees come to South Florida to think through our upcoming
Speaker 1: year and meet some great friends, have a good time together. So, Sarah,
Speaker 1: does everyone need to come to South Florida? I guess
Speaker 1: we can't have everyone who listens to this come, Although
Speaker 1: fun as that would be.
Speaker 2: I know we can't. And like side note, like we
Speaker 2: keep talking about like do we want to make it bigger?
Speaker 2: Because we know more? We did have a waiting list,
Speaker 2: and everyone seems to want to come back, but we're
Speaker 2: not entirely sure. We're thinking about it, we're thinking about
Speaker 2: the structure. But assuming that you are not able to
Speaker 2: make it to join us live, there are so many
Speaker 2: other things you can do. You can absolutely DEI why
Speaker 2: this with your partner again, this started with me and
Speaker 2: Josh doing it, So with a friend by yourself, you
Speaker 2: can create an agenda for yourself. I think the main
Speaker 2: ingredients you need are protected time and an idea or
Speaker 2: some kind of structure, whether you make it up or
Speaker 2: get it from somebody else, of what you want to plan.
Speaker 2: And I think adding a dash of fun and relaxation
Speaker 2: really is going to help this be successful and something
Speaker 2: that you look forward to. If you want a kind
Speaker 2: of very similar version to what we do live, that's
Speaker 2: kind of given to you already pre structured. My program
Speaker 2: Best Laid Plans at Home Planning twenty twenty six is
Speaker 2: basically the same content. The workbook is designed a little
Speaker 2: bit differently. Instead of beach Theming, it is ski and
Speaker 2: winter Theming this year because it always takes place at
Speaker 2: the end of the year, and I'm going for like
Speaker 2: cozy lodge vibes instead of palm trees. But it is
Speaker 2: really many of the same exercises, a lot of that
Speaker 2: same heads down time, me providing it for you via zoom.
Speaker 2: And so I really love teaching this course. Every year
Speaker 2: it's grown, and I do still like it to be
Speaker 2: a size where people can So I do three showings now,
Speaker 2: one in December, one in January, and then one I
Speaker 2: think it's also in January. That's weekend, so that if
Speaker 2: people don't have time during the work week due to
Speaker 2: a less flexible work schedule, you can actually catch it
Speaker 2: with me. I don't even remember if it's Saturday, air Sunday.
Speaker 1: It iss on my website.
Speaker 2: All that information you can find at the shoebox dot
Speaker 2: com slash courses.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I was thinking about it if I were
Speaker 1: going to do this on my own, what elements I
Speaker 1: would probably include. I would definitely carve out space for
Speaker 1: that list of one hundred dreams, so sort of an
Speaker 1: unedited what do I want in the future in my
Speaker 1: life then sort of drill it down, like what on
Speaker 1: this list do I think might be fun to take
Speaker 1: on over the next year, Right, So professionally, what do
Speaker 1: I want to be talking about at the end of
Speaker 1: the next year that I've done that, I'm going to
Speaker 1: be raising my champagne glass to toast how an amazing
Speaker 1: a year it was, What like three to five things
Speaker 1: would I be excited about? And in my personal life too,
Speaker 1: you know, if I'm talking with my face family at
Speaker 1: our extended family get together at the end of the
Speaker 1: next year, and I'm telling about what we did over
Speaker 1: the year, like, well my family did, what was so fun?
Speaker 1: What accomplishments or experiences would I be talking about, Like,
Speaker 1: these are the highlights of my year over the next year.
Speaker 1: And then you know, if there's any sort of long
Speaker 1: term projects I like to do every year with you know,
Speaker 1: reading or listening to or writing something, so thinking about that,
Speaker 1: you know how I could take that big list and
Speaker 1: pull it down. I do think it's also helpful to
Speaker 1: do a version of like an ideal week schedule, because
Speaker 1: whatever goals you are going to set in life have
Speaker 1: to fit in the one hundred and sixty eight hours
Speaker 1: you have each week. We are not going to become
Speaker 1: entirely different people in the new year. We are going
Speaker 1: to have many of the same constraints we have currently,
Speaker 1: and so you need to sort of analyze your schedule,
Speaker 1: not saying everything that's happening now has to happen then,
Speaker 1: but roughly the times that are flexible are going to
Speaker 1: be the times that are flexible in the future. You
Speaker 1: could make some tweaks, but what would those be in
Speaker 1: order to free up more space, Maybe you decide because
Speaker 1: that's going to suggest some goals in and of itself. Right, Like,
Speaker 1: if you have a hobby you want to start doing
Speaker 1: on the weekends, but you have young kids, one of
Speaker 1: the steps toward that is either going to be working
Speaker 1: out a specific trade off time with your partner or
Speaker 1: a friend or another family member so that you have
Speaker 1: that protected time, or it's going to be hiring a
Speaker 1: sitter who can come stay with your kids during that time.
Speaker 1: But those are all going to be suggested by doing
Speaker 1: that ideal week exercise. So big list, hone it down
Speaker 1: to one year, look at the schedule, see where it
Speaker 1: can fit in.
Speaker 2: I would even also just add look at what's already planned,
Speaker 2: because many of us have stuff coming up next year
Speaker 2: that might be really big, and if you don't take
Speaker 2: those like kind of big rocks into consideration, that's it's
Speaker 2: sort of like the ideal year in a way. I
Speaker 2: mean not really, but just like all of these goals
Speaker 2: have to be grounded in reality, and like if you're
Speaker 2: having a baby in March, then that might alter to
Speaker 2: forget that, but other medium sized things you might not
Speaker 2: think about.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I kind of forgotten. One of the things
Speaker 1: that's happening this year is, you know, in terms of travel,
Speaker 1: like I will probably attend my twenty fifth college reunion
Speaker 1: in May, and I don't have to go far, but
Speaker 1: it will be a whole long weekend of stuff, and
Speaker 1: so I had sort of not really remembered that, so
Speaker 1: I was thinking through the year that that would be
Speaker 1: coming up. So put that in and it'll be fun.
Speaker 1: I'll see people that I haven't seen in a while.
Speaker 2: That'll be great. Yeah, your review of the year will
Speaker 2: yield little discoveries like that, and then you can.
Speaker 1: Plan around them.
Speaker 2: But things you're already excited to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. But you'll hear the goals that we set
Speaker 1: in our upcoming Goals episode, which Sarah will make sure
Speaker 1: that we do.
Speaker 2: We are definitely doing it on the schedule.
Speaker 1: So we have this question. We mentioned that list of
Speaker 1: one hundred dreams idea that sort of long unedited list
Speaker 1: of anything you want to spend more time doing or
Speaker 1: goals you want to accomplish over the course of your life.
Speaker 1: So Sarah and I have both made several of these,
Speaker 1: and a listener asked us, what do you do with
Speaker 1: your old list of one hundred dreams? So, Sarah, what
Speaker 1: do you do with yours?
Speaker 2: I've have hazardly kept them, like some I've snapped pictures
Speaker 2: of and put them in the blog. Some of them
Speaker 2: I'll like take a picture and I have a folder
Speaker 2: and Apple notes that says it's my Sunday Mimi, and
Speaker 2: then I have a bunch of pictures of one hundred
Speaker 2: dreams lists there.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I do, however, like to start from scratch when I
Speaker 2: do the exercise, because it doesn't take like seven hours
Speaker 2: to write a hundred dreams. It probably takes an hour, honestly,
Speaker 2: if you're really well. I tend to be quick at
Speaker 2: this type of thing, so it takes me about an hour.
Speaker 2: And I would rather not necessarily be prompted by what
Speaker 2: was on my old list, Like I think be fun
Speaker 2: to look at the old list afterward, but actually be like,
Speaker 2: as of now, what are the things that I want
Speaker 2: to do? So I don't pay tons of attention to
Speaker 2: keeping it, and I don't think of it as like
Speaker 2: I mean, it is an interesting idea that it's like
Speaker 2: a time horizon above the year, and you're going to
Speaker 2: select your year list from it, And it sounds like
Speaker 2: you do that a little bit more, I don't. I
Speaker 2: use it more as like a idea hub off in
Speaker 2: the clouds of my brain that will get pulled from
Speaker 2: when and I feel like it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So mine are on my blog. I have one
Speaker 1: from twenty ten, I have one from twenty fifteen. I
Speaker 1: have one from twenty eighteen, which sounds like I'm probably
Speaker 1: due to write another one, Sarah. Maybe we need to
Speaker 1: both do these soon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, although I don't I mean some of them. Is
Speaker 2: all of it bloggable? I don't know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, No, probably all of us not bloggable, and so
Speaker 1: I would need to think that through as well. But
Speaker 1: it's kind of fun to look back at the old
Speaker 1: ones because a reasonable number of things on the twenty
Speaker 1: ten list have happened, some have not, and then some
Speaker 1: I realize, like, I have no interest in this anymore.
Speaker 1: And that's also good to know, because life changes, and
Speaker 1: sometimes it's fun to look through past ones with that
Speaker 1: in mind because yeah, you know, totally don't have to
Speaker 1: keep our goals forever.
Speaker 2: No, it's just a it's not a life report card either,
Speaker 2: It's just a list you generated on a given day,
Speaker 2: on a given day.
Speaker 1: All right, So love of the week, Sarah, Mine is
Speaker 1: going to be going to live events. I mean, post
Speaker 1: pandemic is really cool to see people in person, obviously,
Speaker 1: even if there is the risk of flight cancelation. These
Speaker 1: are the downsides we sometimes accept in order to see
Speaker 1: people in person. And I would tell people it is
Speaker 1: often worth getting on a plane. There's often reasonable airfares
Speaker 1: to get places. When air travel works, it is very
Speaker 1: very fast. I mean like literally I'm in the Philadelphia
Speaker 1: airport and like two hours later, I'm in South Florida.
Speaker 1: It's just incredible. When it works. There are sometimes complications,
Speaker 1: but when it works, it's great. So if you have
Speaker 1: friends you would like to get together with, you don't
Speaker 1: necessarily need to be so precious about this. Like you
Speaker 1: could just choose a weekend, get on a plane on
Speaker 1: Friday evening and come back Sunday night and go see
Speaker 1: them and you'd probably really enjoy it.
Speaker 2: Definitely, Well, my level of the week, I'm going a
Speaker 2: little basic here. I had book club last night, and
Speaker 2: I'm just so happy I have a book club. Like
Speaker 2: it's just a fun thing to have on the calendar,
Speaker 2: and I hope I continue to do it going forward.
Speaker 2: And this is your encouragement that you know, if you're
Speaker 2: telling yourself a story that like you can't do something
Speaker 2: like that, visit a friend or be part of a
Speaker 2: community group because I don't know, it would be a
Speaker 2: pain to fit it in question yourself, like what are
Speaker 2: the actual barriers?
Speaker 1: Yeah, because you can probably make it happen. And just
Speaker 1: to shout out here, We're going to be doing a
Speaker 1: couple book club picks with our Patreon community for Best
Speaker 1: of Both Worlds over the next year. We'll be publishing
Speaker 1: our curriculum for twenty twenty six very soon.
Speaker 2: And I'm super excited about it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 2: It's more interactive. I think like we are going to
Speaker 2: you know, it's obviously voluntary, but we're going to be
Speaker 2: hosting basically challenges every single month with follow up on
Speaker 2: those things, and I think people are gonna love it.
Speaker 2: I'm excited for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So for any new listeners, our podcast, The Best
Speaker 1: of Both Worlds has a Patreon community, so you can
Speaker 1: go over to patreon dot com and search for that
Speaker 1: Best of Both Worlds podcasts. We have a very active
Speaker 1: forum where we have usually three discussions a week on
Speaker 1: a topic related to work in life and people, our
Speaker 1: general age of building careers, raising families, things that might
Speaker 1: be of interest to us. And then we have monthly
Speaker 1: Zoom meetups. We get to chat about these topics in
Speaker 1: a more interactive way. And it's just been so much
Speaker 1: fun to meet listeners and some of whom have come
Speaker 1: to Best Laid Plans Live, but not everyone, and so
Speaker 1: we get to meet other people as well.
Speaker 2: Yes, and it's always fun when the other direction happens
Speaker 2: when you know someone from Patreon and then you're like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, you're real and you meet them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So encourage people to check that out. We'd love
Speaker 1: to have more folks join us over the next year. Well,
Speaker 1: this has been Best of Both Worlds. We have been
Speaker 1: talking Best Laid Plans Live, how it worked, and how
Speaker 1: you might diy your own version of this, but we
Speaker 1: will most likely be doing a end of twenty twenty
Speaker 1: six Best Laid Plans Live Planning twenty twenty seven. If
Speaker 1: you want to think about that. Put that on your
Speaker 1: radar for the next year. We'll probably announce this signups
Speaker 1: in March, so stay tuned.
Speaker 2: For that if you want to save the dates, probably
Speaker 2: November fifth through seventh.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, well, this has been best of both worlds.
Speaker 1: We'll be back next week with more on making work
Speaker 1: and life fit together.
Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. You can find me Sarah at the
Speaker 2: shoebox dot com or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram,
Speaker 2: and you can.
Speaker 1: Find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This has
Speaker 1: been the best of Both Worlds podcasts. Please join us
Speaker 1: next time for more on making work and life work together.