1 00:00:00,720 --> 00:00:03,680 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam. This is John, the og Storytime 2 00:00:03,720 --> 00:00:06,200 Speaker 1: podcast host. Oh yeah, we got some great stories coming up. 3 00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,639 Speaker 1: But before that, we got a teeny two minute break 4 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,600 Speaker 1: from the sponsors that keep the show propped up like 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,920 Speaker 1: a little house. Oh yeah, my father tried to ruin 6 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:17,240 Speaker 1: my engagement. Too bad. He failed. 7 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 2: He's just really jealous and he wants to marry your fiance. 8 00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:24,239 Speaker 1: My relationship with my parents has never been great. They're 9 00:00:24,280 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 1: extremely self absorbed in controlling, but thanks to my therapist 10 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:30,639 Speaker 1: and my partner, I've grown a lot. I've reached a 11 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:33,920 Speaker 1: place where our relationship is manageable, mainly because I refuse 12 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 1: to let them disrupt my peace, especially not tomorrow. By 13 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,760 Speaker 1: the way, this comes from user ill Relationship nine six 14 00:00:40,920 --> 00:00:42,720 Speaker 1: seven three, And if you want to submit your own stories, 15 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: go to the r slash showcase Storytime subburd it. I'm Dakota, 16 00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,120 Speaker 1: I'm Carly, and we are here to give you good advice. Goofly, 17 00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 1: But we don't have all the answers. We just know 18 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,520 Speaker 1: what we'd do, so if you would do something different, 19 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,200 Speaker 1: let us know in the comments. Tomorrow is a big day. 20 00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,000 Speaker 1: My partner and I are meeting with a jeweler who's 21 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:01,480 Speaker 1: going to design my engagement ring from scratch? I'm over 22 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: the moon. This is such a happy, once in a 23 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:07,200 Speaker 1: lifetime moment for me, and I've shared it with my mom, my, siblings, 24 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:11,480 Speaker 1: and a few close friends. Everyone seemed excited except my dad. 25 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: Apparently he's upset that my partner hasn't asked for my 26 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 1: hand in marriage yet. For the record, I didn't even 27 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,320 Speaker 1: want my partner to ask. My family has always made 28 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,400 Speaker 1: me feel awful and this tradition doesn't hold the same 29 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 1: weight for me. But my partner believes it's the right 30 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:29,959 Speaker 1: thing to do as a man, and he's been planning 31 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 1: to ask. So why hasn't it happened yet? Simple money. 32 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 1: This summer has hit us hard. Unexpected cuts in work hours, 33 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:43,760 Speaker 1: financial aid delays, housing stress. It's been overwhelming. We live 34 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:47,840 Speaker 1: eight hours away and my dad is constantly on his boat, 35 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:50,040 Speaker 1: so planning a trip has not been easy. His stress 36 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,360 Speaker 1: has taken a toll, especially on my partners. So I 37 00:01:52,440 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: told him, before we start impending doom, let's find out 38 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,480 Speaker 1: how much the ring will cost. Knowing the number would 39 00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:01,320 Speaker 1: help us plan, relieves some of the financial pressure and 40 00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 1: give us a clear idea of what we're working with 41 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:06,240 Speaker 1: for the ring and the proposal and the trip to 42 00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: my family. We agreed whatever is left over, we'll go 43 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,680 Speaker 1: to the trip to see my family, then worry about 44 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 1: the proposal. After asking for my hand, the jeweler was 45 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 1: super kind and said he could work with my partner's budget, 46 00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,079 Speaker 1: but he also said that to give an exact price, 47 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,160 Speaker 1: he needs to meet me. He wants to see my 48 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:25,760 Speaker 1: reactions to styles, understand what makes me feel special, and 49 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: craft something truly personal. So we made the appointment for tomorrow. 50 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: I was talking to my parents about what outfit to 51 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,280 Speaker 1: wear when my mom hit me with, your father feels hurt. 52 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: He hasn't been asked for your hand, and I got pissed. 53 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,120 Speaker 1: I said, how the heck is he supposed to afford 54 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,679 Speaker 1: coming down there when he doesn't even know how much 55 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:47,320 Speaker 1: the ring will cost. She said, well, he should have 56 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:49,920 Speaker 1: figured it out, and I said, well, this is supposed 57 00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 1: to be a happy moment, and it feels like you're 58 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: trying to ruin it. She replied, we're not ruining it. 59 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 1: Your father just feels disrespected, and I said, clearly, if 60 00:02:59,080 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 1: my father feels hurt, that's fine. He's allowed to have feelings. 61 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:05,280 Speaker 1: But I will not sit here and let anyone paint 62 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,720 Speaker 1: My partner is disrespectful when he's doing everything in his 63 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,639 Speaker 1: power to honor me in our future. He's working, saving 64 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 1: and doing his best and considering I'm your oldest daughter 65 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,120 Speaker 1: getting married. There should be nothing but love and support. 66 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 1: I'm not playing tick for tat for childish games again, 67 00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:24,960 Speaker 1: not the freakin' saying it's tit for tat. 68 00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,600 Speaker 2: No, so he's playing tic tattoe. 69 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:30,440 Speaker 1: I think my mom quickly changed the subject because she 70 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,200 Speaker 1: knew the road I was heading on and definitely didn't 71 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 1: want to be on it. But I called my dad 72 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: because I figured if I explained the story, he might understand. Well, yeah, 73 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,680 Speaker 1: I was wrong. I apologized and told him I was 74 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: sorry if things didn't feel traditional. I explained everything, our finances, 75 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:51,120 Speaker 1: the distance, and that my partner has every intention of 76 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,760 Speaker 1: asking jest not yet. That's when my dad launched into 77 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 1: a full on lecture. He said, there are certain things 78 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,840 Speaker 1: a man who is supposed to do. Before you even 79 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,119 Speaker 1: look at rings. He should come to me, sit down 80 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,240 Speaker 1: and ask for your hand like a man. That's how 81 00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,920 Speaker 1: it's done. I need to know that your partner understands 82 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 1: I don't play about my child. He said it like 83 00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: he was giving some kind of speech, and all I 84 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,480 Speaker 1: could think of was, you don't play about your child. 85 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: Where was that energy when I needed support growing up, 86 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 1: when I needed someone to advocate for me, when I 87 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: needed a father to protect me, because I definitely didn't 88 00:04:27,279 --> 00:04:30,719 Speaker 1: see it. But now, because a tradition makes him feel important, 89 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,640 Speaker 1: suddenly he's deeply invested. Still, I stayed calm. I said, yes, 90 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 1: and he still plans to ask. He's not ignoring you. 91 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: He just wants to make sure we can afford everything. 92 00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:43,160 Speaker 1: He's doing his best. Then I asked, do you honestly 93 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: feel like this whole experience has been tainted? And he said, yes, 94 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: I do. I'm not even supposed to know all this. 95 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:54,880 Speaker 1: I should be surprised, he should be surprised. He should 96 00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 1: come down here, sit me down, and do it the 97 00:04:57,279 --> 00:05:01,520 Speaker 1: right way. At that point, I said, okay, Dad, sorry, 98 00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 1: love you, and I hung up because let's be real. 99 00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 1: He's not mad because my partner did anything wrong. He's 100 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: mad because he didn't get his moment. He didn't get 101 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,840 Speaker 1: to play the role he imagined. He didn't get control. 102 00:05:13,279 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 1: But my partner is working hard every single day to 103 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:18,479 Speaker 1: build our future, and that's what actually matters. So no, 104 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:22,880 Speaker 1: I'm not letting my father dim this moment, not this time. 105 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: This engagement is about me and my partner, not anyone else. 106 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: And yes, I'm still going to my appointment. Whether my 107 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,520 Speaker 1: father approves or not is his problem, not mine. And 108 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,760 Speaker 1: there's an edit to clear things up. When I said 109 00:05:35,760 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 1: I didn't even want my partner to ask my dad, 110 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,120 Speaker 1: I was referring to how I felt in the beginning. 111 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: I didn't want my life or wedding delayed if my 112 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:46,479 Speaker 1: dad said no over something petty like what happened yesterday. 113 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: My partner is marrying me, not my father. He made 114 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,640 Speaker 1: it clear that whether my father says yes or no 115 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:55,680 Speaker 1: does not matter. We will be married regardless. It just 116 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 1: determines whether my father will be there or not. That said, 117 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: my partner asking is fine now because my father being 118 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,560 Speaker 1: in my life or not will be entirely his choice. Also, 119 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 1: I didn't apologize to do what daddy says or play 120 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,440 Speaker 1: in his hand. I thought my dad misunderstood the situation 121 00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:14,200 Speaker 1: and just wanted to clear it up. I thought he 122 00:06:14,279 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: assumed we were buying a ring and getting engaged and 123 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:20,680 Speaker 1: not designing it the moment I realized he didn't. I 124 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: ended the call. Please stop making assumptions about me or 125 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:27,200 Speaker 1: my partner. He is my life and has given me 126 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:29,839 Speaker 1: everything I ever dreamed of, so I will not tolerate 127 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 1: anyone tearing down my future. Fiance, my partner, and my 128 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: therapist all had a hand in creating the boundaries and 129 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: the beautiful woman I am today. If you can't see 130 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,800 Speaker 1: that through this post, too bad. Any advice. I'm just 131 00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: a few months away from being fiancee. I'm so excited. 132 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,640 Speaker 1: This process definitely didn't go how either of us thought 133 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 1: it would, but I'm so thankful that I have him 134 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,479 Speaker 1: by my side. This month and semester have been so 135 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,400 Speaker 1: tough on both of us. Little did either of us 136 00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 1: know how much drama and ugly personalities engagements and weddings 137 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,320 Speaker 1: bring out in people. It's been heartbreaking. My parents have 138 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: just been so awful from start to finish, and we're 139 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: not even engaged yet. First, my mother was pissed that 140 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,480 Speaker 1: I wanted to have a wedding abroad because the whole 141 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,840 Speaker 1: family should be there, including people I haven't talked to 142 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:24,840 Speaker 1: in fifteen years. Then my dad said his experience was 143 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:28,240 Speaker 1: tainted because my future fiance had a conversation with me 144 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 1: about being ready for marriage before asking for his blessing, 145 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: as if this person is the one getting married, not me. 146 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,160 Speaker 1: Then of course there was the engagement dinner. My God, 147 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: don't get me started on the engagement dinner. I completely 148 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:45,360 Speaker 1: understand it's weird to plan it before being engaged, but unfortunately, 149 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,440 Speaker 1: with my parents' jobs, you have to plan months in advance, 150 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: where they can't do it at all. All I did 151 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 1: was ask my parents to combine our families for one holiday, 152 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,840 Speaker 1: one holiday, while my parents outright refused. And the reason 153 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,960 Speaker 1: is I wouldn't apologize for missing my mother's extravagant birthday 154 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:05,680 Speaker 1: that I literally couldn't afford. That's a whole other story though. Then, 155 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 1: as if they couldn't cause more problems, my man drove 156 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:13,320 Speaker 1: eight hours, got a hotel room planned months in advance, 157 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 1: only for my father to refuse to give him his blessing. 158 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,560 Speaker 2: That's why my only thing was like, sure, maybe you 159 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 2: could have given him my heads up and been like, hey, 160 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 2: can't make it out to see you. We're gonna start 161 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 2: designing this thing, but I will be coming to talk 162 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 2: because I know we got to talk. 163 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: My father asked completely stupid and irrelevant questions that had 164 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:35,720 Speaker 1: nothing to do with our relationship. I won't go into 165 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:38,600 Speaker 1: the full spiel, but I'll say my father had the 166 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:41,680 Speaker 1: gall to ask my partner, if my daughter asks you 167 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: to lie to me, would you. My partner said, well, 168 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 1: I'm gonna stand by my wife, so yeah I would, 169 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: and my father called him deceitful. I was appalled. My 170 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,760 Speaker 1: partner and I have never been so infuriated in our lives. 171 00:08:52,840 --> 00:08:55,800 Speaker 1: He wasted our time and money over a blessing he 172 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:58,760 Speaker 1: was crying about in the first place. While I'm heartbroken 173 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,200 Speaker 1: that my siblings won't be involved as much as I'd 174 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,400 Speaker 1: like since they're miners, I still have a lot to 175 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 1: be thankful for. Luckily for me, s hate being embarrassed, 176 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:12,120 Speaker 1: especially by elders in the family. My great aunt, who 177 00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,079 Speaker 1: is my absolute heart, ripped them a new one when 178 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,080 Speaker 1: my mother tried to cry to her about how disrespectful 179 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 1: my man was. My aunt asked what question my dad 180 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: had asked. When my mom told her, she said, what 181 00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:25,680 Speaker 1: kind of question is that? Of course that was going 182 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:27,480 Speaker 1: to be his answer. I don't know a single adult 183 00:09:27,679 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 1: who would have answered differently. My mom also tried to 184 00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,680 Speaker 1: double down and say my aunt wasn't being fair, And 185 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,680 Speaker 1: my aunt responded, what do you mean that is fair? 186 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 1: You had that man go all the way down there 187 00:09:38,640 --> 00:09:41,240 Speaker 1: only to set him up with BS questions. In fact, 188 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,839 Speaker 1: where is your husband? I want to speak to your husband, boz. 189 00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:48,600 Speaker 1: If you don't know, If an elder asks to speak 190 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 1: to you and then uses your childhood nit name, you 191 00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: are now in danger because that means they plan on 192 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: putting you in a child's place. My mom was so 193 00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 1: stunned she made up an excuse and quickly hung up. 194 00:09:59,600 --> 00:09:59,800 Speaker 2: It was. 195 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: It got even better because since things went so terribly 196 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,319 Speaker 1: with my great aunt, I haven't heard a peep from 197 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 1: any of my family. My parents got checked so badly 198 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:13,559 Speaker 1: they had been too embarrassed to tell anyone else. Also, thankfully, 199 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 1: where I lack in biological parents, I've gained two incredible 200 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 1: in laws who mean the world to me. They cheer 201 00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 1: for me so loudly that I don't even notice who's 202 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: missing in the stands. After everything my parents did, I 203 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,760 Speaker 1: didn't get the old but they're your only parents, or 204 00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:32,400 Speaker 1: maybe you're misunderstanding them. Instead, they send a long message 205 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: saying how much they love both of us and how 206 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,320 Speaker 1: proud they are of me. They told me not to 207 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: worry about my parents because they already see me as 208 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,800 Speaker 1: their daughter that they never had. They even said they 209 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,640 Speaker 1: would foot the bill for our entire wedding, and I 210 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:49,079 Speaker 1: just couldn't be happier with my future and my new family. 211 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,720 Speaker 1: So while I'm sad about some parts and it's been tough, 212 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: I know our future is bright. And that is the 213 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:56,840 Speaker 1: end of that story. 214 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I really want to be too worried about your dad. 215 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,000 Speaker 2: I think they've been put so in their place that 216 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:03,920 Speaker 2: they're just going to quietly attend to this wedding now. 217 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,480 Speaker 1: And that's the end of this story. Let's head to 218 00:11:06,520 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: the next one. 219 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,479 Speaker 2: My wife's family doesn't like me, and I don't. 220 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,000 Speaker 1: Know what to do with kiss them, kiss them all. 221 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:17,400 Speaker 2: Twenty five male, white male. Have been married to my 222 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 2: wife twenty six female for four years, and I've known 223 00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:23,839 Speaker 2: her for six years total. We met online and hit 224 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 2: it off wonderfully. We lived fifty miles apart, about in 225 00:11:27,559 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 2: hours drive, and we only visited once a week, taking 226 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,199 Speaker 2: turns making the trip. By the way, this comes from 227 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,040 Speaker 2: Kolux four and if you want usubmit your own stories, 228 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,720 Speaker 2: go to the r slash Okay storytime Subreddit. I'm Carly, 229 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, and we're here to give good advice. Goofully, 230 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,480 Speaker 2: but we don't have all the answers. We only know 231 00:11:44,559 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 2: what we would do, So let us know what you 232 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 2: would do in the comments. My wife comes from a 233 00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:52,160 Speaker 2: Hispanic Latino family where children do not leave the house 234 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 2: until they're married, no exceptions. Her family liked me when 235 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,360 Speaker 2: they first met me. They even wondered why we weren't 236 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 2: immediately dating and prompted my wife to date me. Her 237 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:06,240 Speaker 2: extended family loves me, and her parents even gave me 238 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,880 Speaker 2: permission to marry her. Her little sister loved me too. 239 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:11,600 Speaker 2: I used to give her piggyback rides and she could 240 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 2: even tag along when I was dating my wife. I 241 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 2: proposed one and a half years into our relationship, and 242 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,240 Speaker 2: we got married near the end of that timeframe, so 243 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 2: technically we married two years in. However, once we got married, 244 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 2: everything changed. Her parents don't like me anymore, and her 245 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,400 Speaker 2: little sister seems to not like me either. This could 246 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,080 Speaker 2: be because we moved to another city after our marriage. 247 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:39,720 Speaker 2: I had to attend university and there wasn't any feasible 248 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:43,079 Speaker 2: way we could easily continue driving fifty miles back and 249 00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,120 Speaker 2: forth like when we were dating. The university is two 250 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 2: and a half hours away from my wife's family city 251 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:52,880 Speaker 2: and four and a half hours away from my family's city. 252 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,920 Speaker 2: Due to this, we received her parents' permission months prior 253 00:12:56,480 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 2: then finally got married. This meant my wife finally left 254 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 2: her parents' house and lived with me. I write computer 255 00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 2: programs for a living. I used to work in customer 256 00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:09,080 Speaker 2: service and sales while doing school, which I did for 257 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,640 Speaker 2: over five years. Now I have one and a half 258 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 2: years of professional experience in programming. I was recently laid 259 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,880 Speaker 2: off from a good company when my company hired a 260 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 2: bunch of people from a third world country and bought 261 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 2: an office. No hard feelings. What's done is done. This 262 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:28,280 Speaker 2: is my opportunity to improve my resume, LinkedIn and skills. 263 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:30,520 Speaker 2: My wife hasn't had to work for over a year 264 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 2: and a half. I told her she might want to 265 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:35,439 Speaker 2: start looking for a job because the market is horrible 266 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:39,200 Speaker 2: for junior programmers. Currently, I can't instantly get a job 267 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,160 Speaker 2: in my field, and it could take more than a month. Luckily, 268 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 2: I got a government interview request within a week. Unfortunately, 269 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,600 Speaker 2: that's a month away, and the government is slow when 270 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,200 Speaker 2: sending job offers after interviews. I need to practice coding 271 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 2: and brush up on data structures and algorithms in case 272 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:58,240 Speaker 2: the government throws the book at me. Here's where things 273 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:02,280 Speaker 2: get really frustrating. My wife's family still doesn't like me, 274 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 2: and they're being toxic about it. Earlier, my wife was 275 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 2: in the car and mentioned she was donating plasma because 276 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:11,320 Speaker 2: she wanted to save some extra money. Next thing you know, 277 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,080 Speaker 2: her parents are yelling at her, saying, why would you 278 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 2: sell your body like that? Come home with us and 279 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 2: leave your husband? 280 00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 1: Why would you sell your plasma and it sounds so cool? 281 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:21,960 Speaker 1: Why would you get rid of it? 282 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,400 Speaker 2: Why wouldn't you keep that little bottle in your room? 283 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 2: My wife doesn't feel that way, but it's frustrating not 284 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,080 Speaker 2: being accepted. They told her to keep it a secret, 285 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,480 Speaker 2: but obviously we don't keep secrets. We talk to each other. 286 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:37,920 Speaker 2: And it's tough to navigate because I can already assume 287 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,400 Speaker 2: their next argument with her. They're going to be mad 288 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:43,040 Speaker 2: at her for telling me. Then they're going to yell 289 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:46,400 Speaker 2: at her. It's the most frustrating thing. Months ago, she 290 00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 2: went on a strike from talking to them. Earlier, my 291 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 2: wife was on the phone and her mother mentioned something 292 00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 2: along the lines of we were waiting for you to 293 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:56,080 Speaker 2: come to the realization that you don't need him. She 294 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,800 Speaker 2: wouldn't just leave me because of tough times. But it's 295 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,760 Speaker 2: annoying that her family only feels this way. They feel 296 00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:05,120 Speaker 2: like I forced her to donate plasma. They feel like 297 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 2: I'm the reason we don't visit every week. How am 298 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 2: I supposed to navigate this without feeling frustrated that they're 299 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 2: acting childish and unfair. We aren't in the financial position 300 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 2: to spend that sort of gas money we are saving currently. 301 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,680 Speaker 2: My wife has a job and I'm waiting on interviews 302 00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 2: while practicing coding. We are going over one more time 303 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,400 Speaker 2: this weekend since they are trading in their car. My 304 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,600 Speaker 2: wife has to be there because her name is on 305 00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 2: the title. But after that, I'm thinking we either need 306 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,760 Speaker 2: to talk about this or shun them and go home. 307 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:39,040 Speaker 2: They're acting childish and my wife is the middleman. I 308 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:41,400 Speaker 2: wish she didn't have to endure this, nor do I. 309 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:44,560 Speaker 2: It's frustrating that they don't like me. It makes me 310 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,840 Speaker 2: think they don't like me because I'm into tech and 311 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,600 Speaker 2: that's my career rather than being hands on. From my 312 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:53,479 Speaker 2: wife's perspective, it's really hard to accept just go no contact, 313 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,800 Speaker 2: because while it's a generally accepted thing that parents are 314 00:15:56,840 --> 00:16:00,440 Speaker 2: toxic and overprotective of their children in her culture, and 315 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,600 Speaker 2: she knows it's wrong, it's ingrained in her to feel 316 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 2: a great sense of shame to disobey her parent. She 317 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 2: knows it comes from love and a willingness to do 318 00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 2: anything for your children, even if it means never allowing 319 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 2: them to live a life of their own. She's afraid 320 00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 2: to speak up sometimes, and when she does, things change 321 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 2: for a little while, until they let a comment slip 322 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 2: or express their disappointment. It's not easy for some to 323 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 2: understand this. It's common in other communities as well, but 324 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 2: probably not to the same extent. You're expected to be 325 00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 2: with your family forever and always contribute to the whole 326 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 2: family no matter what. If you leave, everyone talks about 327 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,360 Speaker 2: it and ostracizes you, yet also accepts you with open 328 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:44,160 Speaker 2: arms when you inevitably come crawling back for approval. She 329 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 2: gets a whole speech lined up in her head, but 330 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,120 Speaker 2: when she talks to them about it, they act like 331 00:16:49,160 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 2: nothing happened and they're close again for a short time. 332 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:56,280 Speaker 2: She craves her parents' affection, but she also desires her 333 00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:58,840 Speaker 2: own life, and this is why she keeps things from them. 334 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:02,200 Speaker 2: Of course, when they find out something, they immediately blame 335 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 2: anyone standing close enough to feel the shrapnel. Growing up, 336 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,359 Speaker 2: it would be friends, always one friend that was a 337 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 2: bad influence or something she couldn't have fun two days 338 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,880 Speaker 2: in a row. Video games were seen as a waste. 339 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:17,560 Speaker 2: Family events were the only real source of entertainment, and 340 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,440 Speaker 2: while she complained, she also compiled, it's love, but it's 341 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:25,560 Speaker 2: toxic love. It's dependency with the whole like cutting off 342 00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,920 Speaker 2: your in laws thing. Though I always do get a 343 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:32,040 Speaker 2: little hesitant because it's like, sure, you can choose to 344 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 2: cut them off, but ultimately, like you can't make your 345 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,440 Speaker 2: partner cut off their family, like it has to be 346 00:17:37,560 --> 00:17:39,560 Speaker 2: their own thing. So being like she just needs to 347 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:41,920 Speaker 2: cut them off, like they hate me, It's like you 348 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 2: can stop talking to them, buddy. But like, if she 349 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:47,360 Speaker 2: wants to keep in this cycle of what she's feeling, 350 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,000 Speaker 2: she again, he can't be like you laugh to cut 351 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:50,719 Speaker 2: off yourf family. 352 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 1: I mean it kind of I feel like it sounds 353 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:55,440 Speaker 1: like she's also like not jazzing. 354 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,480 Speaker 2: With it, and if she's totally also over it and 355 00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,560 Speaker 2: is like, no, I don't want them in my life anymore, 356 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,959 Speaker 2: then for sure. I just always get a little hesitant 357 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,800 Speaker 2: when it's like a partner being like and we need 358 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:04,879 Speaker 2: to cut off my in laws. 359 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't feel like they're gonna go like full 360 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,800 Speaker 1: blown like and we'll never speak to you ever again. Yes, 361 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,480 Speaker 1: Like we're just gonna like not let you put worms 362 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:16,400 Speaker 1: in our brain until you chill out and realize, Okay, 363 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 1: this is reality. And our daughter married this guy and 364 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 1: she lives with him because it's her husband. 365 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 2: I also do not agree with his statement that the 366 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 2: family doesn't like him because he doesn't have a manual 367 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:29,480 Speaker 2: labor job. 368 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:33,800 Speaker 1: There are definitely situations where people don't respect like anything 369 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,720 Speaker 1: except blue collar work. But regardless of it. 370 00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,240 Speaker 2: But I'm pretty sure it's because you moved their daughter 371 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,200 Speaker 2: for hours away from them. 372 00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 1: It could be, But then it's like, you know, it's like, 373 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,520 Speaker 1: we'll see what happens when you have a career that's 374 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:47,200 Speaker 1: like depending on like nothing. It's like, you know, if 375 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,120 Speaker 1: you had like a real job, you could go find 376 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,199 Speaker 1: work wherever you needed it. 377 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,920 Speaker 2: She knows she's not the only kid that feels this way. 378 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,439 Speaker 2: You always see other people's humor posts, and while she laughs, 379 00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:59,520 Speaker 2: it also hurts because it's not normal, it's not healthy, 380 00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,840 Speaker 2: and there are there you can open up to about it. 381 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:04,640 Speaker 2: I ended up frustrated enough to send this post on 382 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,359 Speaker 2: to another site. My wife and I are planning to 383 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:09,400 Speaker 2: speak with the family near the end of this week 384 00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,000 Speaker 2: to figure this out. How would you handle the situation? 385 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:16,359 Speaker 2: Input is appreciated. Comment one hard to tell. It mostly 386 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:19,040 Speaker 2: sounds like they don't like you because one you can 387 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:22,000 Speaker 2: no longer support their daughter, and two she lives fifty 388 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,000 Speaker 2: miles away from them because of you. Unclear why your 389 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,480 Speaker 2: wife failed to work for the past one point five years. 390 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 2: Maybe her family thinks they shouldn't have to work. They 391 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 2: probably think you should work harder at job hunting as well. 392 00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:35,399 Speaker 2: You could use this as an opportunity to find a 393 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:39,600 Speaker 2: job far far away, so far that visiting every week 394 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,640 Speaker 2: isn't viable. A big part of the problem is your wife. 395 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 2: She tells her family too much. Why would she tell 396 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:49,000 Speaker 2: her family that you're so broke she's selling plasma? Your 397 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 2: wife knew exactly what the reaction would be. You can 398 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,000 Speaker 2: confront them if you want, but it's not going to 399 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,560 Speaker 2: help anything, and no one is going to walk away 400 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 2: feeling better. Hope, he says, HM. Tough one. We currently 401 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 2: live two and a half hours away from her family 402 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:04,160 Speaker 2: and four and a half hours away from my family. 403 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,679 Speaker 2: She hasn't needed to work because my career paid good money. 404 00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 2: We made seventy four and a half k a year 405 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,080 Speaker 2: and had a good savings, so we are good for 406 00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 2: a few months. A few months after I started working, 407 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 2: she found a position in healthcare, but the business was 408 00:20:19,440 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 2: horrible and my wife was afraid she'd lose her certification 409 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,320 Speaker 2: because the business decided to schedule only her for night 410 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,960 Speaker 2: shifts to cover fifty plus patients. After two weeks, she 411 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 2: couldn't handle it and I mentioned that she should stop. 412 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,240 Speaker 2: After that, I started paying for her to get CompTIA 413 00:20:35,680 --> 00:20:38,919 Speaker 2: A plus plus certification. She studied for some months and 414 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:42,120 Speaker 2: finished each class. She can technically take the test now, 415 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,840 Speaker 2: but with the economy not looking good for tech, she 416 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,360 Speaker 2: decided to take a call center job locally. My wife's 417 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:51,320 Speaker 2: family is tough and doesn't seem to like anything we 418 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 2: tell them. Seems like they support her, but always put 419 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,920 Speaker 2: the blame on me because we don't live near About 420 00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 2: the plasma part, she immediately knew she messed up with 421 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:02,240 Speaker 2: that one. She talked a bit too much and is 422 00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:05,919 Speaker 2: used to telling them most things. Unfortunately, it backfired and 423 00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 2: made them have more ammunition against me. We are visiting 424 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 2: one more time this weekend, but not a static to visit. 425 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,400 Speaker 2: It's frustrating because I don't know enough Spanish to keep up. 426 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:18,919 Speaker 2: I wondered if it could be resentment from that, but 427 00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:21,840 Speaker 2: it's tough. I have things to constantly learn to be 428 00:21:21,960 --> 00:21:25,480 Speaker 2: interview ready since the programming field in general is really 429 00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:27,879 Speaker 2: tough right now and they are in the US. My 430 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,199 Speaker 2: wife is supportive of me, and I know she wouldn't 431 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:33,359 Speaker 2: leave me, but it's sad that her family hasn't changed dance. 432 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 2: For a few months, my wife stopped talking to them 433 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 2: because they required her to talk for hours each week 434 00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 2: and it became too much. Now her mom let that 435 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 2: comment slip, and it feels super frustrating and saddens me 436 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,200 Speaker 2: that they feel that way. My parents worked so hard 437 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,359 Speaker 2: to save money for me to go to college, have 438 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 2: an apartment with my wife, et cetera. Now that I've 439 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 2: finally had a career for almost two years, I felt 440 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 2: my hard work paid off. I can afford a pretty 441 00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,119 Speaker 2: nice apartment in a safe area, and I've been supporting 442 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,879 Speaker 2: her since I finished college. Thank you for the comment, 443 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,720 Speaker 2: and that is the end of that story. Yeah, I 444 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,560 Speaker 2: feel like Eve and your wife can just like I 445 00:22:06,600 --> 00:22:08,840 Speaker 2: don't know, you do your own thing and stop stop 446 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,520 Speaker 2: worrying about what they think. I agree, And that's the 447 00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,600 Speaker 2: end of this story. We're gonna go to the next one. 448 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:18,360 Speaker 1: My brother refused to pick up his son after getting back. 449 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,520 Speaker 2: From vacation pick them up from where. 450 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,720 Speaker 1: So my twin brother and his wife, who I have 451 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,679 Speaker 1: bad blood with, went to New York City on a 452 00:22:26,760 --> 00:22:29,280 Speaker 1: trip a week ago. They have a son who turned 453 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,760 Speaker 1: to today. Before leaving, my brother asked if I could 454 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,119 Speaker 1: watch their son, and I agreed to it. I just 455 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,919 Speaker 1: reminded my brother to be back by his birthday because 456 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:41,440 Speaker 1: I wouldn't want them to miss their only child's birthday. 457 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,680 Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from user vegetable Bill twenty 458 00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,840 Speaker 1: one sixty seven. If you want to submit your own stories, 459 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay storytime suburd it. I'm Dakota, 460 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: I'm Carly. We're here to give you a little good 461 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,560 Speaker 1: advatge goofully, you know, but we don't have all the answers. 462 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,199 Speaker 1: We really know what we would do, so if you 463 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 1: do something else, let us know in the comments. My 464 00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:02,040 Speaker 1: husband and I also have a family trip planned to GwL, 465 00:23:02,119 --> 00:23:05,639 Speaker 1: which is Great Wolf Lodge, a huge indoor water park, 466 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 1: on Halloween, and I voiced to my brother that I 467 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,400 Speaker 1: didn't feel comfortable taking their son to a crowded water 468 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,760 Speaker 1: park without them tagging along. They flew back into Florida, 469 00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,760 Speaker 1: where we all live, late last night. I didn't bother 470 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,359 Speaker 1: them this morning about picking up their son due to 471 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:24,320 Speaker 1: them probably being exhausted. Around eleven AM, my brother texted 472 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,240 Speaker 1: if I wanted to meet up for lunch. I was 473 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,080 Speaker 1: a bit annoyed at the last minute planned because I'm 474 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,359 Speaker 1: a mom of six and I can't just drop things 475 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:33,520 Speaker 1: to go have lunch with them. They offered to buy it, 476 00:23:33,720 --> 00:23:36,959 Speaker 1: so I went to the restaurant. They ended up flaking, 477 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,600 Speaker 1: so I got food to go and came home. I 478 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,520 Speaker 1: called my brother and went off on him, which caused 479 00:23:42,560 --> 00:23:44,960 Speaker 1: him to block my number. He took offence that I 480 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:48,000 Speaker 1: didn't want their son tagging along on our trip. During 481 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,440 Speaker 1: our phone argument, It's five pm and they have yet 482 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,600 Speaker 1: to get their son. I'm stressed, overwhelmed, and don't know 483 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,520 Speaker 1: what to do. I don't have his wife's number, and 484 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,679 Speaker 1: honestly she won't be of any help. I know the 485 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,800 Speaker 1: internet is limited when it comes to helping, but what 486 00:24:00,000 --> 00:24:02,200 Speaker 1: what would you all do? Hoping for advice? Because I'm 487 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,440 Speaker 1: overwhelmed and I honestly feel like getting the state involved. 488 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:07,639 Speaker 1: There are some comments here go I would show up 489 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 1: to his house and I'd say, knock, knock, knock, here's 490 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:11,119 Speaker 1: your child. 491 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:13,080 Speaker 2: Forget you had a two year old. 492 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:17,200 Speaker 1: Knock, knock, knock, your baby is here. It's your baby's birthday. 493 00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,000 Speaker 1: Relevant comments OPI on her brother's marriage and the reason 494 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,439 Speaker 1: behind the trip. Opie says, I didn't really want to 495 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,439 Speaker 1: go too much into the trip due to wanting to 496 00:24:25,440 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 1: protect my brother's dignity. I really don't care anymore though 497 00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 1: about protecting him. Around a month ago, he and his 498 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,119 Speaker 1: wife got into a heated argument. She left him to 499 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,440 Speaker 1: fly to the UK to meet some man. Things didn't 500 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,679 Speaker 1: work out with that relationship, so she flew to New 501 00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:41,720 Speaker 1: York City and convinced my husband to fly there so 502 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:44,600 Speaker 1: they could work on their relationship with a small getaway. 503 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,160 Speaker 1: This is the fourth or fifth time they've separated. 504 00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,120 Speaker 2: God, why did they have a kid? 505 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,119 Speaker 1: OPI on her and her husband's jobs. My husband is 506 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 1: a pediatric craniofacial maxillofacial surgeon. I make money from the TikTok. 507 00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: We moved to Florida in June of this year from 508 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,159 Speaker 1: Arizona and use our Arizona house as an airbnb. Our 509 00:25:04,240 --> 00:25:07,120 Speaker 1: children are well kept and have a far better childhood 510 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,200 Speaker 1: than my husband and I had. I think it's very 511 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:12,159 Speaker 1: trashy to hate on large families and assume that we 512 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,280 Speaker 1: can't afford our children. A commenter says, Okay, so the 513 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:17,800 Speaker 1: brother is a butt, but what about the sister in 514 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,280 Speaker 1: law and mother of the child. She isn't missing the baby. 515 00:25:20,320 --> 00:25:22,400 Speaker 1: Many moms can't even make it through a date night 516 00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:24,640 Speaker 1: dinner because they don't want to leave their baby. How 517 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,679 Speaker 1: is she not wanting to see her baby regardless of 518 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:31,880 Speaker 1: the dad. I think it is derope. If it was postpartum, 519 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,560 Speaker 1: the dad would still want to have the child, even 520 00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:36,720 Speaker 1: if the mom is freaked out. This couple shouldn't have 521 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,679 Speaker 1: had kids and did. Opie says, the reason why my 522 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,440 Speaker 1: sister in law and I didn't get along is because 523 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,760 Speaker 1: she lies a lot and is a horrible person. We 524 00:25:44,880 --> 00:25:47,760 Speaker 1: actually did get along until her mask fell off. I'll 525 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:50,439 Speaker 1: tell you all the drama. They've been married since August 526 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,720 Speaker 1: twenty twenty. They had their wedding in our grandma's huge backyard. 527 00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:56,800 Speaker 1: My grandma asked if their reception about kids in the future, 528 00:25:56,840 --> 00:26:00,240 Speaker 1: because she favored my brother and was happy he found someone. 529 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 1: After years of legal trouble, my sister in law claimed 530 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:06,320 Speaker 1: that she had cancer and they had to remove her 531 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:10,879 Speaker 1: uterus a few years ago. Literally, lying about having caer 532 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:15,960 Speaker 1: has gotta be one of the scumbaggiest things you could 533 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,320 Speaker 1: ever do. Not only that, but you're lying to your 534 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 1: grandmother in law about your ability to have children because 535 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:28,520 Speaker 1: of you are scum. Scum just say now, I don't know, 536 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 1: we're still thinking about it. Seven months into their marriage, 537 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,399 Speaker 1: they got into a huge argument. She told him she 538 00:26:33,720 --> 00:26:35,960 Speaker 1: lied about the caacer and that she just doesn't want 539 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 1: to have children. They had a pending divorce, but I 540 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:42,160 Speaker 1: conciled in February twenty twenty three. She ended up getting pregnant. 541 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,119 Speaker 1: Opi on her family's background when she was growing up. 542 00:26:44,200 --> 00:26:47,640 Speaker 1: Opie says, it's most definitely real. Feel free to come 543 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:50,240 Speaker 1: over and help if you're just gonna run your mouth. Oh, 544 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:52,639 Speaker 1: get them, get them, opie. I never said I didn't 545 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,879 Speaker 1: know what CPS is. Of course I know what it is. 546 00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,520 Speaker 1: I experienced not being wanted, and the same thing happened 547 00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:00,400 Speaker 1: to my brother and me at a young age. Our 548 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 1: parents lost parental rights and our grandparents raised us. Maybe 549 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:06,440 Speaker 1: I don't want the same thing for my nephew. Tell 550 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,520 Speaker 1: me you haven't grown up in a broken family without 551 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,520 Speaker 1: telling me the type of comment. Update eight days later, 552 00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:13,679 Speaker 1: I apologize to the people who were waiting for an 553 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,119 Speaker 1: update from my last post. My husband, our kids, and 554 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 1: I just got back from our staycation today at Great 555 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,440 Speaker 1: Wolf Lodge. I had a very toxic childhood. I wasn't 556 00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,159 Speaker 1: loved and grew up in a broken family. I certainly 557 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,160 Speaker 1: wouldn't use my nephew for attention. I made the post 558 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,119 Speaker 1: when I was infuriated at my brother. It was vulnerable, 559 00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,000 Speaker 1: it was raw. I have ADHD and I don't always 560 00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:37,359 Speaker 1: think before I say things in post things. It's a 561 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,240 Speaker 1: personality trait I wish I could change. With that said 562 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:43,560 Speaker 1: now going into the update, my brother did unblock my 563 00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:45,760 Speaker 1: number later in the evening, on the same day that 564 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,960 Speaker 1: he refused to pick up his son, which was October 565 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,359 Speaker 1: twenty eighth. He said that they've been given an eviction notice. 566 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,720 Speaker 1: I am the co signer for him. I helped him 567 00:27:54,720 --> 00:27:57,960 Speaker 1: find an apartment after their last eviction. He asked me 568 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 1: if I could be his co signer again. Of course, 569 00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:04,760 Speaker 1: this started another phone escalation because he assumed that their 570 00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:08,160 Speaker 1: eviction had something to do with me. The absolute gall 571 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 1: to get evicted and then be like, yeah, can you 572 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: co sign again for me? 573 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 2: Because this would be a third time too. And also, 574 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:18,160 Speaker 2: are do you have your son yet? 575 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,639 Speaker 1: Yes? Have you taken back your son? Also, why do 576 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,200 Speaker 1: you think that it's O Pie's fault you're getting evicted. 577 00:28:24,200 --> 00:28:27,080 Speaker 1: She's a co signer. She exists on the lease for 578 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:31,639 Speaker 1: this exact situation. When you fail to pay, there's a 579 00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:34,240 Speaker 1: backup plan there. They do sound. 580 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,119 Speaker 2: Terrible, pe you just the other people. 581 00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 1: Your brother and his wife sound awful. Yeah, like awful people. 582 00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,600 Speaker 1: Why is she flying to the UK when they can't 583 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,360 Speaker 1: afford to pay rent? Why are they going on a 584 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 1: trip to New York City when they can't pay rent 585 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,000 Speaker 1: and they're getting evicted from their apartment to save their 586 00:28:49,160 --> 00:28:54,520 Speaker 1: fake marriage that shouldn't exist. That's crazy. I honestly do think, yeah, 587 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,520 Speaker 1: maybe you should be thinking about having a seventh child 588 00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:58,040 Speaker 1: to raise. 589 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 2: I would be terrified for this kid to go back 590 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:02,360 Speaker 2: is biological parents. 591 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 1: Terrible, terrible, terrible. After thinking deeply and chatting with my husband, 592 00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,560 Speaker 1: we decided to take custody of our nephew. Yes, we 593 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:10,760 Speaker 1: have plans to work with CPS to get some funding 594 00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 1: for his care. He went on our trip and he's 595 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,120 Speaker 1: such a sweet, energetic little boy who doesn't deserve to 596 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:19,120 Speaker 1: be crapped on. We have five daughters and only one son. 597 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,719 Speaker 1: Now our son will have a little buddy. My parents 598 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:24,440 Speaker 1: lost parental rights over my brother and I when we 599 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:27,120 Speaker 1: were twelve. For the people worrying that our nephew is 600 00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:28,960 Speaker 1: going to be placed in a foster home. It's something 601 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,200 Speaker 1: I just don't have the heart to do. I don't 602 00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:34,600 Speaker 1: want to continue that cycle. There are some more relevant 603 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:37,959 Speaker 1: comments here op on wy her brother and his wife 604 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:42,320 Speaker 1: were going on vacations avoiding parenting responsibilities and his thought process. 605 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: Not trying to defend him, but it has more to 606 00:29:44,680 --> 00:29:47,440 Speaker 1: do with his IQ than his priorities. We were both 607 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:50,880 Speaker 1: substance exposed in the womb and it affected him way 608 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,040 Speaker 1: more than me. I feel more like a parent to 609 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,960 Speaker 1: him than his twin sister at times, because he's clueless 610 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 1: in his IQ is very low and twins and now 611 00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,640 Speaker 1: I feel a little worse. Now, I feel a little bit. 612 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:04,920 Speaker 1: You know, he's just a guy who didn't get a 613 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:06,920 Speaker 1: fair shake it life for him. 614 00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 2: Sure, for a sister in law, No, I don't feel 615 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:11,600 Speaker 2: no, no the earth. 616 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:12,520 Speaker 1: Don't feel bad for her. 617 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 2: Scum of the earth. 618 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:14,360 Speaker 1: She's the scum of the earth. 619 00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 2: I'm still not loving brother, but I do feel for him. 620 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:23,680 Speaker 1: Given that information, though, it makes a little more sense. 621 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:26,320 Speaker 1: That's why I had it in my original post that 622 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,360 Speaker 1: I had to remind him to be back before the 623 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:30,880 Speaker 1: twenty eight, otherwise he would have still been on vacation 624 00:30:31,400 --> 00:30:35,320 Speaker 1: with his child's birthday come at one. I'm honestly wondering 625 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:38,120 Speaker 1: why the landlord didn't contact you before evicting your brother. 626 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,000 Speaker 1: If you were a co signer on the lease, that 627 00:30:40,040 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 1: would make you equally responsible for the rent getting paid. 628 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 1: Either your brother put a fake phone number down for you, 629 00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:47,440 Speaker 1: or the landlord didn't fully do their job. You should 630 00:30:47,440 --> 00:30:49,680 Speaker 1: have had some heads up that this was happening, and 631 00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 1: I'm glad you took your nephew, and I hope he 632 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 1: has a good life with you, your husband and your kids. 633 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:55,200 Speaker 3: Hope. 634 00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,480 Speaker 1: He says. It wasn't a rent issue. My brother is 635 00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 1: unemployed by choice and his wife is also. I was 636 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,200 Speaker 1: covering most of their rent. It was a filth issue. 637 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 1: They ignored the landlord warnings. Roaches and mice were living 638 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:12,400 Speaker 1: rent free in their place. They were also sneaking in 639 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:15,920 Speaker 1: pets without approval from the landlord. Thanks, by the way, 640 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:18,920 Speaker 1: And that is the end of that story. I want 641 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,120 Speaker 1: to try a little outdoor living. If you're gonna invite 642 00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 1: the roaches and the rats into your place of abode, 643 00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,120 Speaker 1: into your humble abode, they just go ahead and go 644 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:27,840 Speaker 1: out's side. That's where they are. Yeah, you can't have 645 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:30,200 Speaker 1: a kid in there either. Ugh, key thing to realize 646 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,240 Speaker 1: nephew's out of there. Hey, op got a seventh little 647 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:34,040 Speaker 1: seventh child. 648 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 2: They yeah, Like, honestly, I'm sure. 649 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,480 Speaker 1: Opie didn't know that there was a film. 650 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 2: No, no, I know that he didn't know. Yeah, it's 651 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 2: just like the hindsight of thinking back and being like that, 652 00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:46,560 Speaker 2: that poor little point. I would play with the mice 653 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,720 Speaker 2: and the bugs. I gave them on names. 654 00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 1: It's pretty nice. Two year old spirit can make anything 655 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:53,120 Speaker 1: a decent situation. 656 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,520 Speaker 2: I'm glad that he got his little water park day 657 00:31:55,520 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 2: with y'all. Yeah, I'm sure he probably felt a little 658 00:31:58,520 --> 00:31:59,920 Speaker 2: like it was a little birthday things. 659 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:01,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm sure he felt like this was the best 660 00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,840 Speaker 1: thing ever. And that's the end of this story. Let's 661 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:08,040 Speaker 1: head to the next one. Hey, it's Sam, your og host. 662 00:32:08,080 --> 00:32:08,200 Speaker 3: Here. 663 00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:09,760 Speaker 1: We're gonna get back to the stories, but here's three 664 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 1: minutes of ads from our sponsors. 665 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:15,520 Speaker 2: I planned a Halloween costume with my stepdaughters and their 666 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:19,960 Speaker 2: mother lost it. Well, it's just so fun Halloween. I 667 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,800 Speaker 2: thirty five female, am the stepmother to two lovely ten 668 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:27,760 Speaker 2: year old twin girls who I adore. I have been 669 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:30,600 Speaker 2: married to their father, thirty eight male, for five years, 670 00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:34,440 Speaker 2: and we dated for two years before that. I consider 671 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,440 Speaker 2: myself very close to them and we always have fun 672 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:40,440 Speaker 2: whenever they stay with me and their father. By the way, 673 00:32:40,480 --> 00:32:44,080 Speaker 2: this comes from Lisa of the Roses, and if you 674 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,400 Speaker 2: want usubmit your own stories, go to the r slash 675 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 2: Okay storytime subrend it. I'm Carly, I'm Angie, and we're 676 00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 2: here to give good advice. Goofully, But we don't have 677 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,920 Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we would do, 678 00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,760 Speaker 2: so let us know what you would do in the comments. 679 00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,960 Speaker 2: As Opie says, they recently asked what kinds of movies 680 00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:03,680 Speaker 2: I watched when I was their age, so it led 681 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:06,760 Speaker 2: me to digging out some old classics, most notably The 682 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,920 Speaker 2: Parent Trap. Of all the older movies I showed them, 683 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,480 Speaker 2: this one was their favorite. I think they loved seeing 684 00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:16,959 Speaker 2: a movie about twins. They even delighted in the fact that, 685 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:20,520 Speaker 2: in their opinion, I look like Meredith Blake. It's the hair. 686 00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:24,080 Speaker 2: I think. No way, am I as gorgeous as Elaine Hendrick. 687 00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 2: Oh stop it, I'm sure you are. I'm sure you ah. 688 00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:31,000 Speaker 2: It has become an inside joke for us, with me 689 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:34,040 Speaker 2: often putting on her voice and acting the part while 690 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,920 Speaker 2: they fall into hysterical giggles. My husband has even gotten 691 00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:41,160 Speaker 2: into it, playing the clueless nick When we get into 692 00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:44,760 Speaker 2: this playful spirit. The girls are staying with us for Halloween. 693 00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:48,080 Speaker 2: They alternate who has them on holidays and whoever has 694 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,960 Speaker 2: them for Halloween is in charge of the costume. The 695 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:54,320 Speaker 2: girls asked if I would do a group costume with them. 696 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:57,520 Speaker 2: I was touched and told them, of course, and asked 697 00:33:57,560 --> 00:33:58,840 Speaker 2: them what they wanted to do. 698 00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:00,720 Speaker 1: I should have seen it coming. 699 00:34:01,040 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 2: They wanted to do the parent Trap with them as 700 00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,600 Speaker 2: the girls and me as Meredith. I found it harmless 701 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:10,480 Speaker 2: and agreed. My husband found it funny and said he'd 702 00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,440 Speaker 2: even dress his nick. Then I got a call from 703 00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 2: their mother today telling me that she'd heard of the 704 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 2: costume and that she didn't approve. She felt it wasn't appropriate. 705 00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:23,480 Speaker 2: At first, I was touched and assumed she was worried 706 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 2: about their stepmother being portrayed as a wicked gold digger. 707 00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,360 Speaker 2: I told her it was fine, that it was just 708 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,919 Speaker 2: an inside joke that had sparked this idea. That wasn't 709 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,759 Speaker 2: the issue. She didn't think it was appropriate for me 710 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:38,439 Speaker 2: to do a group costume with her daughters at all, 711 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,680 Speaker 2: and that it was clearly lazy. She said I was 712 00:34:42,840 --> 00:34:45,440 Speaker 2: forcing it because why else would her daughters want to 713 00:34:45,440 --> 00:34:48,759 Speaker 2: do a costume from an old movie? Well, I don't know, 714 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:53,080 Speaker 2: asked them it was their choice. Maybe because they're twins, Yeah, 715 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,640 Speaker 2: a movie about twins. They just happened to put on 716 00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,920 Speaker 2: that movie and they liked it. Yeah, that's all. I 717 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,720 Speaker 2: got rather upset, but tried to stay calm on the phone. 718 00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,840 Speaker 2: I told her she might not approve, but it was 719 00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,960 Speaker 2: harmless and I'd been in the girls' lives for seven years. 720 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,839 Speaker 2: At this point, my husband, who was in the room 721 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,759 Speaker 2: during the call, could see I was getting upset, so 722 00:35:12,920 --> 00:35:14,799 Speaker 2: he took the phone from me and began to get 723 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:16,000 Speaker 2: into it with his ex wife. 724 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,040 Speaker 1: He told her that she could have all. 725 00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:21,200 Speaker 2: The issues she wanted, but it was an entirely proper 726 00:35:21,239 --> 00:35:23,919 Speaker 2: costume for their age, and that it had been the 727 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:27,400 Speaker 2: girls who suggested it. He reminded her that it was 728 00:35:27,480 --> 00:35:30,080 Speaker 2: up to him what they dressed as this year, and 729 00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 2: that he'd approved of it. I got him to calm 730 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,520 Speaker 2: down as he was getting upset, and the call ended 731 00:35:35,600 --> 00:35:38,960 Speaker 2: rather tersely. I just feel awful about this whole thing, 732 00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:41,279 Speaker 2: and I wonder if I should just bow out of 733 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:44,600 Speaker 2: matching the girls in costume, if it will prevent further problems. 734 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:47,359 Speaker 2: I just know this will be a bigger thing down 735 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,560 Speaker 2: the line. What do you guys think? And we have 736 00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,400 Speaker 2: some comments, but what do you think? 737 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:53,279 Speaker 1: I think? 738 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:56,680 Speaker 2: I mean, it's kinda up to the husband. I feel 739 00:35:56,719 --> 00:36:00,440 Speaker 2: like if he's still with it, I don't think you should. 740 00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,319 Speaker 2: I don't think you should bow out at all, Like 741 00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:06,719 Speaker 2: you're really their stepmother, Like, yeah, it's seven years in Yeah, 742 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,920 Speaker 2: girls are really excited. Yeah exactly. 743 00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,120 Speaker 4: It's like I feel like she's just jealous that you 744 00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:14,440 Speaker 4: guys have this bond and she does it. 745 00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:17,040 Speaker 2: So it's like ex wife. Do you remember the plot 746 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,160 Speaker 2: of that movie? He doesn't end up with Meredith? 747 00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:21,240 Speaker 1: Why are you so worried about? 748 00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:22,239 Speaker 2: Exactly? 749 00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:24,960 Speaker 5: And even if she was dressing up as a love interest, like, 750 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,600 Speaker 5: it's like it still works like being the villain though, 751 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:33,600 Speaker 5: girl gonna go on. Some of Opie's comments finaled her fifty. 752 00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,799 Speaker 2: Not the a hole. The girl's mother isn't upset about 753 00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,959 Speaker 2: the costume. She's upset that her daughters love you enough 754 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,719 Speaker 2: to want to do a group costume with you. This 755 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:46,319 Speaker 2: is one hundred percent about her own jealousy and insecurity. 756 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:47,879 Speaker 1: Don't back down. 757 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,799 Speaker 2: The girls asked you, and it would hurt them if 758 00:36:50,800 --> 00:36:52,919 Speaker 2: you pulled out now because their mom threw a fit. 759 00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:56,200 Speaker 2: Opie responds, I really don't want to back down. It 760 00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,480 Speaker 2: means a lot to me that the girls asked me. 761 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,759 Speaker 2: I just worry that this could cause worse tension, which 762 00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,400 Speaker 2: could be bad for the girls. I also hate that 763 00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:08,080 Speaker 2: she feels jealous and insecure as I think you're right there. 764 00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,840 Speaker 2: I love the girls like they're my own, but I 765 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:14,960 Speaker 2: will never replace their mother. Designated throwaway says, what do 766 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,120 Speaker 2: you value more making your husband's ex wife happy or 767 00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:21,279 Speaker 2: making the two little girls you helped raise happy and 768 00:37:21,480 --> 00:37:25,800 Speaker 2: creating an awesome memory with them. Opie responds, obviously making 769 00:37:25,840 --> 00:37:29,239 Speaker 2: them happy. It's not about making her happy exactly. It's 770 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,279 Speaker 2: more concern. If I don't concede on this, it'll make 771 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:35,400 Speaker 2: things harder for the girls in the long term. Jerry 772 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,840 Speaker 2: Collard says, not the ahole. But I'm curious when you 773 00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:41,080 Speaker 2: say old movie, do you mean the actually old one 774 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,480 Speaker 2: or the one with Lindsay Lohan, Because if we're calling 775 00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,799 Speaker 2: the latter movie old, I'm gonna start shriveling up. Oh no, 776 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,600 Speaker 2: Opie responds, the nineteen ninety eight movie with Lindsay Lohan. 777 00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:52,560 Speaker 2: I'm afraid. Trust me. I know how you feel. But 778 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:56,960 Speaker 2: to them it's old. To another commenter, oh trust me, 779 00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,799 Speaker 2: I dislike being called that too, But to ten year 780 00:37:59,840 --> 00:38:04,560 Speaker 2: old girls, it's old. No, and OPI is obviously moded, 781 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:07,960 Speaker 2: not be able. And we have an update a month later, 782 00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:12,680 Speaker 2: which is after Halloween. Oh boys, we're gonna see what happened. 783 00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:15,040 Speaker 2: I don't know what happened. How do you think it goes? 784 00:38:15,320 --> 00:38:19,479 Speaker 4: I hope that that you know. Here's what I really 785 00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:22,600 Speaker 4: think it's gonna happen. Okay, I think mom is gonna 786 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:25,120 Speaker 4: have a problem. She's gonna be like, actual's gonna buy 787 00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:27,279 Speaker 4: the kids a different costume, make them wear it. But 788 00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:29,399 Speaker 4: then when they go over to the dad's house and be. 789 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:34,200 Speaker 2: Like, we'll be a parent trap like come on obviously, obviously, and. 790 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,960 Speaker 4: Then their para drap and then the dad is like, bio, 791 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:41,279 Speaker 4: Mom a bad and then she's like, whooker, word for word. 792 00:38:41,280 --> 00:38:43,880 Speaker 2: I think that's gonna happen. Yeah, we're gonna quote you 793 00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:44,040 Speaker 2: on that. 794 00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:44,319 Speaker 1: Okay. 795 00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:50,040 Speaker 2: Crazy Update over a month later, Well, Halloween is officially over, 796 00:38:50,239 --> 00:38:53,440 Speaker 2: and I thought i'd give an update before I forgot. Firstly, 797 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,920 Speaker 2: I've seen a lot of people wondering if I was 798 00:38:55,960 --> 00:38:58,279 Speaker 2: the reason my husband and his ex split up, and 799 00:38:58,320 --> 00:39:01,239 Speaker 2: I'd like to clear the air right now. No, they 800 00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:03,759 Speaker 2: split up when the girls were two. I came into 801 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,640 Speaker 2: the picture a year later. Things came to a bit 802 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:09,880 Speaker 2: of a head. On one of the girl's visits before Halloween, 803 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 2: I pulled their mother aside to talk about Halloween, and 804 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,319 Speaker 2: I told her that I understood she might have mixed 805 00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:18,279 Speaker 2: feelings about this, but the girls wanted it and I 806 00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:21,160 Speaker 2: didn't want to let them down. Besides, it was their 807 00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,920 Speaker 2: father's holiday and he was in charge of the costume 808 00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:27,480 Speaker 2: as per their agreement for whoever had them on Halloween. 809 00:39:27,640 --> 00:39:29,520 Speaker 2: I asked her if there was anything I could do 810 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:32,600 Speaker 2: to make this more tolerable for her, as this wasn't 811 00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,719 Speaker 2: doing the girls any favors. She ended up telling me 812 00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:38,120 Speaker 2: that no, there was nothing I could do as she 813 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:41,080 Speaker 2: didn't approve of it at all, since it wasn't appropriate 814 00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,560 Speaker 2: for me to do a group costume with them as 815 00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:46,759 Speaker 2: I'm only their stepmother, even if I've been in their 816 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:50,480 Speaker 2: life for seven years. At this point, she then continued 817 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,680 Speaker 2: to insult me. I wasn't going to talk about this 818 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:57,200 Speaker 2: with her anymore. After the girls left, I broke down 819 00:39:57,280 --> 00:40:00,319 Speaker 2: crying a little. When my husband found out out what 820 00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:02,840 Speaker 2: she'd said to me, he ended up calling his acts 821 00:40:02,960 --> 00:40:05,640 Speaker 2: asking her where she got off being so cool. He 822 00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:07,799 Speaker 2: also made it clear that she was not to call 823 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:11,080 Speaker 2: me anymore and that all contact was to go through him. 824 00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:14,400 Speaker 2: We got the costumes ready and were prepared for Halloween. 825 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,239 Speaker 2: She dropped the girls off and informed us that one 826 00:40:17,239 --> 00:40:19,120 Speaker 2: of them had a cold and she didn't want them 827 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:21,280 Speaker 2: out in the cold, as it would make it worse. 828 00:40:21,880 --> 00:40:24,640 Speaker 2: She seemed kind of pleased, like this would put an 829 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:27,839 Speaker 2: end to our plans. When she left, the girls tried 830 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,080 Speaker 2: to insist they weren't okay to go out even though 831 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:32,480 Speaker 2: they were sick, but we weren't about to risk making 832 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:35,080 Speaker 2: them more ill, so my husband and I came up 833 00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:38,960 Speaker 2: with another plan. We all dressed in our costumes, ordered pizza, 834 00:40:39,040 --> 00:40:42,680 Speaker 2: and watched movies. All four of us greeted trigger treads 835 00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,479 Speaker 2: so our costumes could still be seen, and we also 836 00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:47,680 Speaker 2: filled a tub with water and had a bobbing for 837 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:51,360 Speaker 2: Apple's competition. It wasn't the night we had planned originally, 838 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,720 Speaker 2: but all in all, it was an enjoyable one, despite 839 00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:58,520 Speaker 2: the little hitch that's raising kids though. Thank you everyone 840 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,160 Speaker 2: for all your feedback. I hope you all had a 841 00:41:01,200 --> 00:41:04,480 Speaker 2: wonderful Halloween. All's will and unswill. I guess yeah, I 842 00:41:04,520 --> 00:41:07,319 Speaker 2: mean I wasn't like totally right, right, It didn't really 843 00:41:07,400 --> 00:41:09,920 Speaker 2: end well, but it's like, yeah, you basically told her, 844 00:41:10,239 --> 00:41:11,759 Speaker 2: screw you were getting. 845 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:14,439 Speaker 4: It, Like we got the costume right, that's the most 846 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:15,040 Speaker 4: important thing. 847 00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:18,040 Speaker 2: It seems as well as it could have been. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, 848 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,720 Speaker 2: I'm glad you're over it, me too. Editing to add 849 00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,719 Speaker 2: additional information, A few people have been worried about the 850 00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,560 Speaker 2: fact we bobbed for apples. The girls love bobbing for 851 00:41:27,600 --> 00:41:30,680 Speaker 2: apples on Halloween, and since we couldn't trigger treat, we 852 00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:33,560 Speaker 2: took precautions to ensure they could at least do one 853 00:41:33,680 --> 00:41:37,400 Speaker 2: Halloween thing they enjoyed. We made sure the water wasn't cold, 854 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,239 Speaker 2: kept towels on hand to dry off right away, and 855 00:41:40,360 --> 00:41:43,120 Speaker 2: the one who was sick went last. The water was 856 00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:45,680 Speaker 2: poured out after to ensure the chance of the cold 857 00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:49,200 Speaker 2: spreading was limited. That's what the comments were so worried about. Yeah, 858 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,759 Speaker 2: I was not worried about that at all. One of 859 00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:55,680 Speaker 2: Opie's comments okay with Sabbi eighty one oh one says 860 00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,960 Speaker 2: it was the kiddo actually sick. Bio mom gives straight 861 00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:03,320 Speaker 2: high school mean girl. I hope she grows up. Opie says, sadly, yes, 862 00:42:03,440 --> 00:42:05,600 Speaker 2: she was sniffily and had a bit of a temperature. 863 00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:07,719 Speaker 2: She tried to insist she was okay to go out 864 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:10,680 Speaker 2: with her sister chiming encouragement, but we didn't want the 865 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:13,000 Speaker 2: cold air to make her worse. And that is the 866 00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:17,200 Speaker 2: end of that story. Wow, I mean not bad. Yeah, 867 00:42:17,560 --> 00:42:20,200 Speaker 2: not bad. We've got a husband with the backbone, which 868 00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:23,120 Speaker 2: is always nice. It's great. We don't get that all 869 00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:25,200 Speaker 2: the time. And let the girls love you. 870 00:42:25,600 --> 00:42:26,160 Speaker 1: It's great. 871 00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,520 Speaker 2: I know, it's so nice. And then this this mom 872 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:35,520 Speaker 2: can just she can get over with it. Yeah, fine, yeah, 873 00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:37,200 Speaker 2: and that's the end of this story. We're going to 874 00:42:37,280 --> 00:42:38,880 Speaker 2: go to the next one. 875 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:43,160 Speaker 3: My stepbrother chose his girlfriend over us. Now he says 876 00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:44,320 Speaker 3: we've ruined his life. 877 00:42:44,640 --> 00:42:46,160 Speaker 2: Is she really cool or something? 878 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:50,120 Speaker 3: Trigger warning for the story, there's mentions of child neglect 879 00:42:50,239 --> 00:42:53,200 Speaker 3: and child endangerment for context. I have been in my 880 00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:57,000 Speaker 3: stepbrother's life since he was five and I was thirteen. 881 00:42:57,719 --> 00:43:00,640 Speaker 3: Mark was always the golden child, never getting in any 882 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:04,840 Speaker 3: trouble or really facing any consequences for his actions. His 883 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,879 Speaker 3: family treated him better than me and my siblings, while 884 00:43:07,880 --> 00:43:10,720 Speaker 3: my family treated him as one of us, thus causing 885 00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,920 Speaker 3: him to hack like he was better than me or 886 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:16,120 Speaker 3: my brother, who is two years older than him. Then, 887 00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,920 Speaker 3: as a teenager, he started dating a girl and they 888 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:22,360 Speaker 3: ended up having two kids. After high school. By the way, 889 00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,640 Speaker 3: this comes from user reasonable Honey forty eight forty five, 890 00:43:25,719 --> 00:43:27,560 Speaker 3: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 891 00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:30,400 Speaker 3: to the r slash okay story time subreddit. I'm Keon, 892 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:33,120 Speaker 3: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice goofily, 893 00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:36,000 Speaker 3: But we don't have all the answers, just only know 894 00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,040 Speaker 3: what we'd do, So let us know what you'd do 895 00:43:38,120 --> 00:43:42,200 Speaker 3: in the comments. As Op says, So I'll start with 896 00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,680 Speaker 3: my brothers. We will call him Mark at the time fiance. 897 00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:49,280 Speaker 3: We will call her Sarah. So Mark and Sarah we're pregnant. 898 00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:52,320 Speaker 3: He broke up with her or cheated on her, according 899 00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:56,520 Speaker 3: to her found out later she is a huge pathological liar. 900 00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,160 Speaker 1: Yay, but so is Mark. 901 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:01,680 Speaker 3: Tellboy, Yeah, that's a concoction. 902 00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:03,080 Speaker 2: Or a lot of lies. 903 00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:05,640 Speaker 1: Wow are they even dating? 904 00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:10,239 Speaker 3: I don't know, And I'm assuming Mark started dating some 905 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,080 Speaker 3: girl from Skippity, Ohio. 906 00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:13,000 Speaker 2: Okay. 907 00:44:13,400 --> 00:44:14,320 Speaker 1: We lit Upper. 908 00:44:14,160 --> 00:44:16,560 Speaker 3: Michigan and he was working on a freighter at the time. 909 00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,920 Speaker 3: The girl broke up with him about a month after, 910 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:23,120 Speaker 3: and Mark got off the boats to figure his life out. 911 00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:25,759 Speaker 3: During this time, they were also living in a home 912 00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:28,560 Speaker 3: owned by my parents and were supposed to be paying rent, 913 00:44:29,239 --> 00:44:32,399 Speaker 3: but Sarah was not working and so they were not 914 00:44:32,440 --> 00:44:35,920 Speaker 3: paying my parents' rent. Then, right before their second child 915 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,279 Speaker 3: was born, he went back out on the boats and 916 00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,000 Speaker 3: was also sent to Seattle for special training paid for 917 00:44:41,280 --> 00:44:44,280 Speaker 3: by his company. During all of this, Mark was telling 918 00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,560 Speaker 3: my mother that he was working on his relationship with 919 00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:49,520 Speaker 3: Sarah and that they were going to get married. According 920 00:44:49,560 --> 00:44:52,279 Speaker 3: to Sarah, he was also telling her she needed to 921 00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,040 Speaker 3: go to therapy to make things work between them, But 922 00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,720 Speaker 3: what about him? Just Sarah needed to go to therapy. 923 00:44:57,960 --> 00:44:59,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, both of you, you're both pathology. 924 00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:04,000 Speaker 3: Then in January of twenty twenty four, we found out Mark, 925 00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,520 Speaker 3: who was almost twenty three at the time, had been 926 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,720 Speaker 3: talking to and seeing an eighteen year old girl from 927 00:45:09,880 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 3: Ohio for three months. And we're gonna call skibity Ohio 928 00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:19,000 Speaker 3: girl Darlene. I will admit when I found out, I 929 00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,799 Speaker 3: sent him some rather nasty texts and called Darlene some 930 00:45:21,920 --> 00:45:25,600 Speaker 3: rather nasty names that I did not mean. Maybe in 931 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,719 Speaker 3: the moment you meant it, Come on, you send it 932 00:45:27,760 --> 00:45:30,080 Speaker 3: for a reason. It was just a big Mark Matt 933 00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:33,560 Speaker 3: and I regret that now and have since apologized. Mark 934 00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:35,880 Speaker 3: during this time had been living with Sarah Dude to 935 00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,560 Speaker 3: being the off season for the Lakes and Freighters, but 936 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,799 Speaker 3: again was not paying rent since he never applied for 937 00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:43,920 Speaker 3: off season unemployment. Mark then left to move to Ohio 938 00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:46,920 Speaker 3: to be with Darlene and live with her and her parents. 939 00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:49,680 Speaker 3: He did go back out on the freighter for about 940 00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:52,400 Speaker 3: two weeks, but then left due to his mental health. 941 00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:53,239 Speaker 1: In May. 942 00:45:53,520 --> 00:45:55,080 Speaker 3: I got fired from my job and moved back to 943 00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,400 Speaker 3: the town my parents were living in and moved in 944 00:45:57,440 --> 00:45:58,200 Speaker 3: with Darlene. 945 00:45:58,640 --> 00:46:01,879 Speaker 1: You moved in with Darlene. How do you know? Why 946 00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:02,680 Speaker 1: do you move it? 947 00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:03,160 Speaker 2: Wait? 948 00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:05,759 Speaker 1: Wait, wait, wait, he says Darlene. That says dor Lee. 949 00:46:06,239 --> 00:46:07,480 Speaker 2: Why did you move it with it? 950 00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:10,080 Speaker 3: You mean do you mean Sarah or do you mean 951 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:13,799 Speaker 3: door Lee? Either one is weird, Okay. I lived with 952 00:46:13,840 --> 00:46:15,960 Speaker 3: her for almost two months before moving out due to 953 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:19,640 Speaker 3: her lying, sturing up drama between me, my mother, and 954 00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:22,480 Speaker 3: her mother, and also being a terrible mother who was 955 00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,279 Speaker 3: giving my three year old nephew melatonin each night to 956 00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:27,480 Speaker 3: get him to sleep. That's brutal. 957 00:46:28,120 --> 00:46:28,840 Speaker 2: You can't do that. 958 00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:30,960 Speaker 3: She didn't really bathe the kids and sat on her 959 00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:33,200 Speaker 3: phone all day while I took care of them. My 960 00:46:33,320 --> 00:46:37,120 Speaker 3: nephew even started calling me mama during this time because 961 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,080 Speaker 3: I was taking care of them more than she was, 962 00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:43,200 Speaker 3: which made her upset and caused more drama. She also 963 00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,880 Speaker 3: during this time started letting Mormons come into our house 964 00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:48,319 Speaker 3: because she wanted to start dating the cute twenty year 965 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:51,000 Speaker 3: old Mormon. What the F is going on here? This 966 00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:54,280 Speaker 3: is not This sounds like an NPC lobby, but honestly, 967 00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:56,279 Speaker 3: what guy at that age would want to be with 968 00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:59,239 Speaker 3: a twenty five year old single mother of two. I 969 00:46:59,360 --> 00:47:01,279 Speaker 3: moved out and managed to patch things up with Mark 970 00:47:01,440 --> 00:47:04,840 Speaker 3: due to finding out how crazy Sarah was. But for context, 971 00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:07,640 Speaker 3: Mark never told us any of the stuff that happened 972 00:47:07,640 --> 00:47:10,400 Speaker 3: between him and Sarah. He has always hidden stuff from 973 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:15,000 Speaker 3: us because he doesn't want to take accountability for his actions. Then, 974 00:47:15,239 --> 00:47:17,920 Speaker 3: for the kid's birthday, he came up with Darlene to 975 00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:20,919 Speaker 3: see them. Why he was late and refused to see 976 00:47:20,920 --> 00:47:25,399 Speaker 3: any of us because of Darlene's anxiety. Okay, I let 977 00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:28,120 Speaker 3: Mark know how I felt he had ruined mine and 978 00:47:28,160 --> 00:47:31,160 Speaker 3: my mother's time with the kids after my falling out 979 00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:33,840 Speaker 3: with Sarah. She kept the kids away from my parents 980 00:47:33,840 --> 00:47:36,440 Speaker 3: and also was accusing me of stealing in front of 981 00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:39,040 Speaker 3: my nephew. I know this because he yelled at me 982 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:41,880 Speaker 3: to give his mom her stuff back. I never stole 983 00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:44,600 Speaker 3: anything from her. In fact, when she finally moved out 984 00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:47,360 Speaker 3: of my parents' house, owing them thousands back in rent, 985 00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,520 Speaker 3: she stole things of theirs, including a microwave that my 986 00:47:50,560 --> 00:47:53,959 Speaker 3: grandparents had bought for my parents as a gift. While 987 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,720 Speaker 3: Sarah moved out, she also took all of Mark's stuff 988 00:47:57,000 --> 00:47:59,839 Speaker 3: as well, stealing it from us as Mark had told 989 00:47:59,880 --> 00:48:02,520 Speaker 3: us we could keep it, such as a mini fridge 990 00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:04,839 Speaker 3: and a big green TV that his mother had bought 991 00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:07,960 Speaker 3: him for his birthday. But we found out after without 992 00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:11,120 Speaker 3: Mark informing us that he had even told Sarah she 993 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:13,279 Speaker 3: could take it, as she had been poking and yelling 994 00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:15,560 Speaker 3: at him that she should take it for his kids. 995 00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,439 Speaker 3: After letting Mark know how I felt hurt by him 996 00:48:18,520 --> 00:48:21,239 Speaker 3: making me leave and wouldn't even get out of the 997 00:48:21,239 --> 00:48:24,080 Speaker 3: car to tell me himself, and made Sarah tell me 998 00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:25,600 Speaker 3: he didn't really communicate. 999 00:48:25,880 --> 00:48:26,080 Speaker 1: Then. 1000 00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,600 Speaker 3: Right before Christmas of twenty twenty four, Ian Darlene came 1001 00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:30,680 Speaker 3: to visit again. 1002 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:31,360 Speaker 1: Is it Darlene? 1003 00:48:31,520 --> 00:48:34,520 Speaker 2: I think it is Darling. She lives with Sarah, but 1004 00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:38,279 Speaker 2: he brought Darlene back for the holidays, basically, what are 1005 00:48:38,280 --> 00:48:40,840 Speaker 2: we doing? This is so is so messy. 1006 00:48:41,400 --> 00:48:43,520 Speaker 3: I had just got home from work and walked through 1007 00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,960 Speaker 3: the door to see Darlene and Mark sitting at the 1008 00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:49,319 Speaker 3: dining room table, still in their hats and coats. I 1009 00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:51,960 Speaker 3: said I to Mark, and he did not introduce me 1010 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:55,080 Speaker 3: to Darlene. I went about talking with my family when 1011 00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,600 Speaker 3: my brother came home and his uncle had called a 1012 00:48:57,680 --> 00:49:00,320 Speaker 3: video chat with my stepdad. They both made fun of 1013 00:49:00,360 --> 00:49:02,920 Speaker 3: the hat Mark was wearing. Okay, I could tell this 1014 00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:05,960 Speaker 3: upset Darlene as being mute. Darlene had dressed Mark up. 1015 00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:07,160 Speaker 3: Was it a fedora? 1016 00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:08,000 Speaker 2: I hope? 1017 00:49:08,200 --> 00:49:11,040 Speaker 3: Was it a fedora with a feather? Or like when 1018 00:49:11,080 --> 00:49:15,640 Speaker 3: those like newspaper boys hats, Yeah, the newsy scaps, I hope. 1019 00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:18,640 Speaker 3: So Mark was wearing stuff he never were before or 1020 00:49:18,719 --> 00:49:22,239 Speaker 3: would have chosen himself. Darlene then was ready to leave. 1021 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:24,760 Speaker 3: Mark and her were going to leave without even talking 1022 00:49:24,760 --> 00:49:27,440 Speaker 3: to my mother as she was getting ready, because they 1023 00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:30,520 Speaker 3: stopped by way earlier than any of us expected. Mark 1024 00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:32,400 Speaker 3: then told us he was going to come back to 1025 00:49:32,520 --> 00:49:36,720 Speaker 3: visit later. This did not happen, as he made Sarah 1026 00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:39,279 Speaker 3: and the kids leave our house to see him and 1027 00:49:39,360 --> 00:49:41,200 Speaker 3: Darlene as he did not want to come over to 1028 00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,640 Speaker 3: prevent drama. I don't know what drama he was talking about, 1029 00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,000 Speaker 3: as I thought the visit went fine, despite Darlene and 1030 00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:50,439 Speaker 3: Mark not leaving the dining room table. After that, Mark 1031 00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:53,239 Speaker 3: did not talk to us. Then, on March seventh, I 1032 00:49:53,280 --> 00:49:55,600 Speaker 3: said Mark a text telling him that he and Darlene 1033 00:49:55,640 --> 00:49:57,800 Speaker 3: need to be careful when on the phone with Sarah 1034 00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:00,480 Speaker 3: because the kids can hear. I was told by my 1035 00:50:00,600 --> 00:50:03,879 Speaker 3: nephew that Darlene was yelling at Sarah. I told him 1036 00:50:03,880 --> 00:50:06,120 Speaker 3: that I understand it's hard with Sarah as she pokes, 1037 00:50:06,360 --> 00:50:08,200 Speaker 3: trying to get a reaction out of people to feed 1038 00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:11,359 Speaker 3: her need for drama, and I was currently not talking 1039 00:50:11,400 --> 00:50:13,680 Speaker 3: to her even when she came to visit. Mark then 1040 00:50:13,680 --> 00:50:16,160 Speaker 3: went off on me, saying we make Darlene out to 1041 00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,239 Speaker 3: be the villain when she's not, and basically telling me 1042 00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:21,600 Speaker 3: and our parents we are terrible people as we do 1043 00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:24,040 Speaker 3: not give Darlene a chance and we had talked bad 1044 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,759 Speaker 3: about her. I informed Mark, we do not talk about 1045 00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:29,600 Speaker 3: Darlene as we do not know her, we've only met 1046 00:50:29,600 --> 00:50:31,720 Speaker 3: her once, and that I was just trying to help. 1047 00:50:32,200 --> 00:50:34,759 Speaker 3: I had in our long back and forth, apologizing for 1048 00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,399 Speaker 3: anything I may have done wrong and said I don't 1049 00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:40,040 Speaker 3: know how to fix this situation. He has not called 1050 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,799 Speaker 3: or sent me a text since after that. I did 1051 00:50:42,880 --> 00:50:46,000 Speaker 3: not see Darlene or Mark, but they stopped by my parents' 1052 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,520 Speaker 3: house when my stepdad was working on the other house, 1053 00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:51,400 Speaker 3: and Darlene chose that time to yell at my mother, 1054 00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:54,160 Speaker 3: Oh my God, telling her we have not been there 1055 00:50:54,200 --> 00:50:57,479 Speaker 3: for Mark or supported him, that she is the only 1056 00:50:57,520 --> 00:51:00,359 Speaker 3: one who's been there for him. I don't understand how 1057 00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,560 Speaker 3: we can support Mark when he doesn't talk to us 1058 00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:06,200 Speaker 3: and he lives seven hours away. But okay, pop off 1059 00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:09,000 Speaker 3: sis my mom. That explained to Mark that I didn't 1060 00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:11,200 Speaker 3: need any harm from my text. I was just trying 1061 00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,560 Speaker 3: to help, and he told her that it didn't come 1062 00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:16,520 Speaker 3: off that way. Then comes the summer. Sarah had to 1063 00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:19,600 Speaker 3: deal with CPS twice as my nephew had run away 1064 00:51:19,719 --> 00:51:23,239 Speaker 3: and my niece's feet had somehow gotten severely burnt while 1065 00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:25,719 Speaker 3: she was at work and the kids were at the babysitters. 1066 00:51:26,040 --> 00:51:28,600 Speaker 3: What We were non contact with Mark at this point, 1067 00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:30,960 Speaker 3: and my stepdad had been working to keep the kids 1068 00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,359 Speaker 3: in our lives as we did not want Sarah keeping 1069 00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,799 Speaker 3: them from us, as she had done multiple times at 1070 00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:38,480 Speaker 3: this point whenever she was mad at us. About a 1071 00:51:38,480 --> 00:51:41,640 Speaker 3: month later, when Mark was notified by CPS, he called 1072 00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:44,279 Speaker 3: his father and yelled at him, asking why he didn't 1073 00:51:44,280 --> 00:51:47,680 Speaker 3: tell him about CPS. Hey, moron, you don't talk to 1074 00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:53,080 Speaker 3: us first off. Second of off, it's your children. Year 1075 00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:56,680 Speaker 3: should be in contact with your kids more. This is 1076 00:51:56,760 --> 00:52:00,440 Speaker 3: a All I'm getting from this story right now is 1077 00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:02,759 Speaker 3: that Mark will never take accountability and will point the 1078 00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:06,320 Speaker 3: finger at anybody else but himself. So he's a coward. 1079 00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:06,680 Speaker 1: One. 1080 00:52:07,160 --> 00:52:10,440 Speaker 3: Two he's not liable for anything. The guy just sucks. 1081 00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:13,440 Speaker 2: He's a pathological liar, and he ran away to Ohio 1082 00:52:13,480 --> 00:52:17,520 Speaker 2: with his girlfriend that he was cheating on his other 1083 00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:18,360 Speaker 2: girlfriend with. 1084 00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:24,759 Speaker 3: Two kids, your niece and nephew. The guy sucks, But 1085 00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:28,000 Speaker 3: let's continue his father let him know the reasons I 1086 00:52:28,080 --> 00:52:31,080 Speaker 3: gave up above. Mark then cut communication with his father 1087 00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:34,520 Speaker 3: pretty much completely at that point. The most recent incident 1088 00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:37,560 Speaker 3: was at my niece and nephew's birthday party. My mother 1089 00:52:37,680 --> 00:52:39,959 Speaker 3: was helping my nephew open gifts, and he didn't seem 1090 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,759 Speaker 3: interested in his gift from his aunt, to which my 1091 00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,279 Speaker 3: mother jokingly said, I guess we will have to throw 1092 00:52:45,320 --> 00:52:48,319 Speaker 3: it out. Then this upset his aunt, but everything was 1093 00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:52,360 Speaker 3: talked through and it ended up AOK. After that, something 1094 00:52:52,440 --> 00:52:55,279 Speaker 3: upset Sarah. I'm sure what I feel like anything will 1095 00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:58,279 Speaker 3: upset Sarah at this point, so she told Mark about it. 1096 00:52:58,560 --> 00:53:01,799 Speaker 3: He then called my mother, yelling at her, telling her 1097 00:53:01,880 --> 00:53:04,120 Speaker 3: she is nothing to those kids, and her and his 1098 00:53:04,239 --> 00:53:07,000 Speaker 3: father hid this stuff to him growing up, and she 1099 00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:09,840 Speaker 3: is not to do it to his kids. I the 1100 00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:12,200 Speaker 3: fact that this way of communicating with people is not 1101 00:53:12,239 --> 00:53:15,600 Speaker 3: even communicating. It's just yelling and blaming people and then 1102 00:53:15,640 --> 00:53:16,480 Speaker 3: hanging up the phone. 1103 00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:19,399 Speaker 2: Yeah, no one's actually talking about what's going on. No. 1104 00:53:19,760 --> 00:53:21,560 Speaker 3: The fact that no one's calling this man out for 1105 00:53:21,920 --> 00:53:25,279 Speaker 3: Maybe you guys are, but that's I don't know, and 1106 00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:26,320 Speaker 3: we ope kind. 1107 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:27,880 Speaker 2: Of did for a little bit there, but it's like 1108 00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:28,560 Speaker 2: he did. 1109 00:53:30,200 --> 00:53:32,480 Speaker 3: You can't call out somebody who will never take accountability 1110 00:53:32,480 --> 00:53:34,480 Speaker 3: because you're like, no, you're wrong, and now you're attacking 1111 00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:38,280 Speaker 3: me and now you're the Meani Bobanie So true, Carly, 1112 00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:39,799 Speaker 3: what what say you? 1113 00:53:39,920 --> 00:53:41,800 Speaker 1: I mean, this whole thing is crazy. 1114 00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,839 Speaker 2: I feel like Mark doesn't really want to talk to 1115 00:53:44,920 --> 00:53:48,160 Speaker 2: you guys. You guys don't really talk to Mark I 1116 00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:51,040 Speaker 2: don't even know what Sarah's doing. I feel like, OPI 1117 00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:55,479 Speaker 2: the level of low contact that you can have while 1118 00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:59,640 Speaker 2: still like maintaining the level of contact with the nephews 1119 00:53:59,719 --> 00:54:02,640 Speaker 2: they weren't like I don't even know, Like can you 1120 00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:03,640 Speaker 2: even have both? 1121 00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:06,400 Speaker 3: I don't, I don't know. But also the way he 1122 00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:09,399 Speaker 3: the way your parents or step parents or whatever your 1123 00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:13,120 Speaker 3: you know, the the adults in per se. I mean, 1124 00:54:13,160 --> 00:54:15,560 Speaker 3: everyone's an adult here, but you know how he's treating 1125 00:54:15,600 --> 00:54:19,200 Speaker 3: his parents or your parents, what have you. He is 1126 00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:22,040 Speaker 3: just so wrong. He just yells at them and attacks 1127 00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,640 Speaker 3: him and calls him out for everything, and I feel 1128 00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,560 Speaker 3: like he's just facing zero consequences. And then he doesn't 1129 00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:31,680 Speaker 3: want to hear the noise. You know, at this point, 1130 00:54:32,120 --> 00:54:34,040 Speaker 3: he's the one who always cuts contact with you guys. 1131 00:54:34,200 --> 00:54:36,719 Speaker 3: At this point, what's what's the point of talking to 1132 00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:40,160 Speaker 3: this guy? He just brings drama in stress wherever he goes. 1133 00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:45,400 Speaker 3: Sarah stressful, Darlene's stressful. Mark is useless and stressful. So 1134 00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,279 Speaker 3: I don't see what what the point is You want 1135 00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:51,160 Speaker 3: to keep in contact with this this person or these people. 1136 00:54:51,239 --> 00:54:53,560 Speaker 3: You can, but I think he. 1137 00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:56,280 Speaker 2: Is more just like I want to see my nephews. 1138 00:54:56,520 --> 00:54:59,640 Speaker 3: I think with the way that CPS goes, see if 1139 00:54:59,680 --> 00:55:03,160 Speaker 3: anyone in your family who's more responsible can can take 1140 00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:04,880 Speaker 3: those kids, because those kids need to get out of 1141 00:55:04,880 --> 00:55:07,520 Speaker 3: that situation one hundred percent. I would even talk to 1142 00:55:07,520 --> 00:55:09,560 Speaker 3: Mark about it, because Mark sat gotta do a dang 1143 00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:11,680 Speaker 3: thing about it for those kids. Those kids deserve a 1144 00:55:11,680 --> 00:55:15,560 Speaker 3: better mother and a better life, because, from what we've heard, 1145 00:55:16,000 --> 00:55:19,279 Speaker 3: not great. That's not a great environment. So let's go 1146 00:55:19,320 --> 00:55:21,880 Speaker 3: ahead and finish up the story. You do not specify 1147 00:55:21,960 --> 00:55:23,759 Speaker 3: what things they did to him, but then went on 1148 00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:25,760 Speaker 3: to say he is afraid to talk to my parents. 1149 00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:28,839 Speaker 3: Didn't say why it's a coward, and that he has 1150 00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:32,520 Speaker 3: heard from this division my words, not his. He then 1151 00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:34,960 Speaker 3: also said he is used to being number one, and 1152 00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:37,520 Speaker 3: he's number two. He guess put his kids first and 1153 00:55:37,560 --> 00:55:41,800 Speaker 3: he doesn't like that. Shiny exactly who he is prime 1154 00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:44,799 Speaker 3: a river justin Timberleg. Oh my god, get over it, dude. 1155 00:55:45,080 --> 00:55:47,480 Speaker 3: I was listening in during that part and had to 1156 00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:50,759 Speaker 3: stifle my laughs. I also recently found out that he 1157 00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:53,279 Speaker 3: and Darlene are getting married next July, and we are 1158 00:55:53,320 --> 00:55:56,360 Speaker 3: not invited. I know this from post and reposts online. 1159 00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:59,680 Speaker 3: She's doing basically bragging about how we are not invited. 1160 00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:01,840 Speaker 3: That's just one post where she was talking about the 1161 00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:04,279 Speaker 3: wedding and how they are so excited for family to 1162 00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:07,759 Speaker 3: be there. Well, we won't be. We were planning on 1163 00:56:07,880 --> 00:56:10,880 Speaker 3: going even if we were invited. Mark also doesn't know 1164 00:56:11,000 --> 00:56:14,440 Speaker 3: how extended family feels either, and I guarantee you he 1165 00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:15,080 Speaker 3: doesn't care. 1166 00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:17,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's the Haven Mass story. 1167 00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:20,000 Speaker 1: He's johny og host here. We're gonna get back to 1168 00:56:20,040 --> 00:56:21,640 Speaker 1: the stories, but he's a quick three minute break of 1169 00:56:21,680 --> 00:56:22,600 Speaker 1: ass from our sponsors. 1170 00:56:23,200 --> 00:56:26,759 Speaker 2: My sister wanted to drain our disabled mother's money, but 1171 00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:27,799 Speaker 2: I won't let her. 1172 00:56:27,920 --> 00:56:28,920 Speaker 1: Good, don't let her. 1173 00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,800 Speaker 2: Everyone in the story is in our mid to late forties. 1174 00:56:31,840 --> 00:56:35,319 Speaker 2: For context, my sister is the main caretaker for our mother, 1175 00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:38,439 Speaker 2: who had a severe stroke last year that has left 1176 00:56:38,440 --> 00:56:42,240 Speaker 2: her disabled. This has been absolutely devastating for our family. 1177 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:45,680 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from Kay sixteen eighty And 1178 00:56:45,719 --> 00:56:47,560 Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to 1179 00:56:47,600 --> 00:56:49,600 Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime sub Rather, I'm. 1180 00:56:49,520 --> 00:56:51,560 Speaker 1: Carly, I'm Keon, and we're. 1181 00:56:51,360 --> 00:56:53,520 Speaker 2: Here to give good advice. Goofully, But we don't have 1182 00:56:53,600 --> 00:56:55,640 Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we would do 1183 00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:57,680 Speaker 2: so let us know what you would do in the comments, 1184 00:56:57,840 --> 00:57:01,600 Speaker 2: and Opie says our mom reliant on caretakers for the 1185 00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:05,319 Speaker 2: most basic tasks such as eating and showering. It is 1186 00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:09,360 Speaker 2: an incredibly difficult situation for all, especially my mom and 1187 00:57:09,480 --> 00:57:12,480 Speaker 2: my sister, who has borne the main brunt of taking 1188 00:57:12,480 --> 00:57:15,520 Speaker 2: care of her and all of her affairs. My sister 1189 00:57:15,600 --> 00:57:18,400 Speaker 2: has been an absolute hero doing all of this, which 1190 00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:21,160 Speaker 2: I've told her many many times. The reason it fell 1191 00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:23,520 Speaker 2: mainly on my sister is in part because she is 1192 00:57:23,560 --> 00:57:27,600 Speaker 2: the only sibling that lives nearby I live overseas, and 1193 00:57:27,760 --> 00:57:29,640 Speaker 2: in part because the two of them have had a 1194 00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:33,880 Speaker 2: bit of a dysfunctional codependent relationship for many years. My 1195 00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:37,360 Speaker 2: sister and her husband are actors. My sister is done 1196 00:57:37,480 --> 00:57:40,440 Speaker 2: decently as an actor, while her husband has never really 1197 00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:41,120 Speaker 2: made much fu. 1198 00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:42,640 Speaker 3: Hr I was gonna ask for, are the A list, 1199 00:57:42,760 --> 00:57:46,600 Speaker 3: B list? Sounds like they're like C list, D list? Sorry, 1200 00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:47,640 Speaker 3: seed F list. 1201 00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:51,520 Speaker 2: Okay, they are both hardworking, but it's a hard industry. 1202 00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,880 Speaker 2: Neither has ever tried to get any other kind of job. 1203 00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,200 Speaker 2: Through the years, my mom has subsidized their living. She 1204 00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:01,160 Speaker 2: helped them buy a house, paid for the kids absorbitently 1205 00:58:01,240 --> 00:58:04,880 Speaker 2: high at private school tuitions and basically gave them money 1206 00:58:05,040 --> 00:58:07,720 Speaker 2: whenever they needed it during times my sister was working. 1207 00:58:08,040 --> 00:58:10,640 Speaker 2: I always advised her to find a side hustle to 1208 00:58:10,720 --> 00:58:13,440 Speaker 2: keep money coming during times when there was no work, 1209 00:58:13,840 --> 00:58:16,160 Speaker 2: but I was told to butt out of it and 1210 00:58:16,160 --> 00:58:18,240 Speaker 2: that it was none of my business, so I did. 1211 00:58:18,680 --> 00:58:21,120 Speaker 2: I will also add that around ten years ago my 1212 00:58:21,200 --> 00:58:24,800 Speaker 2: sister got she got it again a few years later. 1213 00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:27,800 Speaker 2: She is now in full emission, but has been hit 1214 00:58:27,840 --> 00:58:30,760 Speaker 2: hard with life struggles, so there's been a lot she's 1215 00:58:30,800 --> 00:58:33,360 Speaker 2: dealt with which added to her inability to make money. 1216 00:58:33,920 --> 00:58:37,000 Speaker 2: Through all of this, her husband has never really tried 1217 00:58:37,200 --> 00:58:39,760 Speaker 2: to find a job of any kind. He is not 1218 00:58:39,960 --> 00:58:43,680 Speaker 2: particularly skilled at anything, so they've always argued that he 1219 00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:47,160 Speaker 2: would rather focus on making it than use his time 1220 00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:49,520 Speaker 2: to make a little money that wouldn't help them enough. 1221 00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:52,520 Speaker 2: He's not even good at that. Yeah, we just keep 1222 00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:53,320 Speaker 2: roasting this man. 1223 00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:58,120 Speaker 3: This guy is just a leech. It looks like he's 1224 00:58:58,200 --> 00:59:01,520 Speaker 3: not doing anything useful. I haven't heard one positive comment. 1225 00:59:01,760 --> 00:59:02,560 Speaker 3: Is he a good dad? 1226 00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:06,160 Speaker 2: At least? My sister has also always been in a 1227 00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:09,200 Speaker 2: perpetual state of being max out with her three kids, 1228 00:59:09,400 --> 00:59:11,919 Speaker 2: so she contends that she needs him to help at home. 1229 00:59:12,560 --> 00:59:16,400 Speaker 2: Cut two years and years later and nothing has changed. 1230 00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:19,440 Speaker 2: They have no other income stream and the acting is 1231 00:59:19,480 --> 00:59:23,560 Speaker 2: not bringing in nearly enough, especially for their lifestyle. They 1232 00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:26,240 Speaker 2: have rich friends and like to pretend they are too. 1233 00:59:26,480 --> 00:59:29,680 Speaker 2: No they bought a fancier car at a monthly amount 1234 00:59:29,760 --> 00:59:32,560 Speaker 2: I would never pay for myself, despite the fact that 1235 00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:35,920 Speaker 2: we make a steadier income. They have their three kids 1236 00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:40,000 Speaker 2: in expensive private schools, again something I wouldn't do. They 1237 00:59:40,040 --> 00:59:43,480 Speaker 2: refuse to consider living somewhere cheaper, and in general have 1238 00:59:43,560 --> 00:59:47,680 Speaker 2: been in poverty, subsidized by mom, always promising that they 1239 00:59:47,720 --> 00:59:50,960 Speaker 2: are on the brink of MegaNet. My mom has always 1240 00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:54,160 Speaker 2: been very frugal. She lived very cheaply so that she 1241 00:59:54,200 --> 00:59:57,920 Speaker 2: could give to us, especially my sister. She bought a 1242 00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,400 Speaker 2: house long ago that she has rented out for twenty 1243 01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:03,960 Speaker 2: five plus years. That is her retirement and main income. 1244 01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:06,560 Speaker 2: It's worth a lot of money now, and she has 1245 01:00:06,600 --> 01:00:09,480 Speaker 2: a bunch of equity in it. She makes a decent 1246 01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:12,480 Speaker 2: amount of money for herself, but her money now is 1247 01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:16,520 Speaker 2: fully supporting not just her, but my sister and her 1248 01:00:16,680 --> 01:00:20,840 Speaker 2: entire family. Despite this, the family now pretty much hates 1249 01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:23,840 Speaker 2: my mom because she's living in their house, in their 1250 01:00:23,880 --> 01:00:27,200 Speaker 2: living room. It is definitely a heavy load. They are 1251 01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:30,600 Speaker 2: still living off her money. Their eldest teenage daughter is 1252 01:00:30,640 --> 01:00:33,760 Speaker 2: now driving my mom's car, and my sister does get 1253 01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:36,680 Speaker 2: a decent salary for caring for our mom from the government. 1254 01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:40,720 Speaker 2: It's hard, I know, but my mom isn't coming empty handed. 1255 01:00:41,120 --> 01:00:43,439 Speaker 2: We have hired caretakers that take care of our mom 1256 01:00:43,480 --> 01:00:46,040 Speaker 2: from nine am to three pm, and then the care 1257 01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:49,040 Speaker 2: falls on my sister in the evenings. All of this 1258 01:00:49,160 --> 01:00:53,240 Speaker 2: is sucking my sister emotionally. She is a complete wreck 1259 01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,760 Speaker 2: most days now. They have burned through my mom's savings 1260 01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:59,480 Speaker 2: to the point where it's almost gone. It is a 1261 01:00:59,680 --> 01:01:02,840 Speaker 2: very difficult situation, and I have tried to help in 1262 01:01:02,880 --> 01:01:06,800 Speaker 2: whatever way I can. I live a thirteen hour flight away. 1263 01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:10,320 Speaker 2: I also have two young children younger than my siblings 1264 01:01:10,400 --> 01:01:13,600 Speaker 2: kids who are all teens now. But I still fly 1265 01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:16,680 Speaker 2: every month or two and stay for two weeks to 1266 01:01:16,720 --> 01:01:19,760 Speaker 2: give my sister a break. I don't take any money 1267 01:01:19,880 --> 01:01:22,920 Speaker 2: and do all of this on my own dime. Each 1268 01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:26,960 Speaker 2: plane ticket is around a grand I do this gladly. 1269 01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:30,400 Speaker 2: But here's the rub. Because they're running out of money. 1270 01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:32,960 Speaker 2: My sister now wants to leverage the equity on my 1271 01:01:33,040 --> 01:01:36,360 Speaker 2: mom's home and take out three hundred k to live on. 1272 01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:39,880 Speaker 2: This would be three hundred k at a higher interest 1273 01:01:39,960 --> 01:01:43,360 Speaker 2: rate than what my mom pays for her mortgage. My 1274 01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:46,360 Speaker 2: sister's plan, if you can call it, that, is to 1275 01:01:46,400 --> 01:01:48,760 Speaker 2: take one hundred and fifty k for herself and my 1276 01:01:48,880 --> 01:01:51,400 Speaker 2: mom to live on, and put one hundred and fifty 1277 01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:54,640 Speaker 2: k in a high yield savings account, which pays a 1278 01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:57,960 Speaker 2: lower interest rate than what she is borrowing, so it 1279 01:01:57,960 --> 01:02:00,680 Speaker 2: would be at a loss to it in a bank 1280 01:02:00,800 --> 01:02:03,280 Speaker 2: until they find a deal on a bigger house for 1281 01:02:03,360 --> 01:02:07,520 Speaker 2: her to live in with her family in the trust's name. Somehow, 1282 01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:10,480 Speaker 2: in her mind it's not for her buying another house 1283 01:02:10,480 --> 01:02:14,000 Speaker 2: for herself. She argues. It could be a good investment, 1284 01:02:14,080 --> 01:02:16,840 Speaker 2: but it would be one where my mother receives no income. 1285 01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:20,480 Speaker 2: My sister has proven to be very bad with money, 1286 01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:24,320 Speaker 2: always against my advice and with arrogance. She will swear 1287 01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:28,000 Speaker 2: she has the best idea for something, won't listen to anyone, 1288 01:02:28,240 --> 01:02:30,680 Speaker 2: and when it blows up in her face, you can't 1289 01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:33,120 Speaker 2: bring it up or say anything, because then you're the 1290 01:02:33,160 --> 01:02:37,520 Speaker 2: bad guy. She has already declared bankruptcy once and is 1291 01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:40,840 Speaker 2: now contemplating doing it again. Just a few months ago, 1292 01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:43,760 Speaker 2: she bought one of those timeshare style things that now 1293 01:02:43,840 --> 01:02:46,920 Speaker 2: cost her an additional two hundred dollars a month and 1294 01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:48,920 Speaker 2: ended up being a scam. 1295 01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:50,280 Speaker 1: The list goes on. 1296 01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:53,080 Speaker 2: And on of all the dumb stuff she's done, but 1297 01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:55,760 Speaker 2: when she is doing it, you can't tell her she's wrong, 1298 01:02:55,960 --> 01:02:59,840 Speaker 2: and she is always convinced she knows best. Now Here 1299 01:02:59,840 --> 01:03:02,920 Speaker 2: we are again, but this time it's my mom's money, 1300 01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:06,360 Speaker 2: and my mom is not well enough to really understand 1301 01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:09,560 Speaker 2: or advocate for herself. I have been in talks with 1302 01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:12,640 Speaker 2: my mom's apartment's landlord about figuring out a way from 1303 01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:16,280 Speaker 2: my mom to return to her apartment. My sister's family 1304 01:03:16,360 --> 01:03:19,040 Speaker 2: has made no secret of the burden they feel my 1305 01:03:19,120 --> 01:03:22,440 Speaker 2: mom is, and my mom feels it too. She is 1306 01:03:22,520 --> 01:03:25,880 Speaker 2: really trying to leave. They have offered a ground floor 1307 01:03:25,920 --> 01:03:28,800 Speaker 2: apartment at a discounted rate, and we are hopeful that 1308 01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:31,880 Speaker 2: with caretakers, our mom can go back to her home, 1309 01:03:32,360 --> 01:03:35,200 Speaker 2: but she needs her money for herself. My sister's fair 1310 01:03:35,360 --> 01:03:38,240 Speaker 2: argument until now is that she can't work because my 1311 01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:41,720 Speaker 2: mom's care and affairs are so taxing. Of course, she 1312 01:03:41,880 --> 01:03:44,600 Speaker 2: also argues that her husband needs to help with the kids, 1313 01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:47,840 Speaker 2: so he can't work either. They still plan to use 1314 01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:50,400 Speaker 2: my mom's money for themselves even when my mom no 1315 01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:53,959 Speaker 2: longer lives there. I put my foot down and said 1316 01:03:54,040 --> 01:03:57,200 Speaker 2: she cannot take out the three hundred k unless we 1317 01:03:57,280 --> 01:04:01,080 Speaker 2: have an investment plan for it to generate income. Otherwise 1318 01:04:01,080 --> 01:04:03,880 Speaker 2: we'll be in the same situation in two years, but 1319 01:04:04,080 --> 01:04:07,760 Speaker 2: with higher living expenses. This will end in us selling 1320 01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:11,280 Speaker 2: my mom's house, which is her only source of income. 1321 01:04:11,920 --> 01:04:14,480 Speaker 2: I also said that my sister needs to stop taking 1322 01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:17,320 Speaker 2: our mom's money since my mom needs it for her care. 1323 01:04:17,680 --> 01:04:21,400 Speaker 2: But basically, my sister is refusing and telling me to 1324 01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:24,800 Speaker 2: butt out. I brought up her bad choices with finance 1325 01:04:24,840 --> 01:04:27,720 Speaker 2: and argued that this decision has to be made as 1326 01:04:27,760 --> 01:04:31,280 Speaker 2: a family, but my sister said that me bringing that 1327 01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:35,280 Speaker 2: up was hitting below the belt. She's now cursing me out, 1328 01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:39,160 Speaker 2: calling me a horrible sister, and saying she's cutting me 1329 01:04:39,200 --> 01:04:42,080 Speaker 2: out of her life. She is set on taking this 1330 01:04:42,160 --> 01:04:44,240 Speaker 2: money out regardless of what I say. 1331 01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:46,360 Speaker 1: Your sister is exhausting. 1332 01:04:46,880 --> 01:04:49,000 Speaker 3: The fact that she's using your mom as a money 1333 01:04:49,000 --> 01:04:52,680 Speaker 3: pit and a money wallah is ridiculous, and the fact 1334 01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:55,200 Speaker 3: that she won't listen to anybody. Obviously we're getting the 1335 01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:58,960 Speaker 3: gold in child Tennessey's here and the favorite where mommy 1336 01:04:59,240 --> 01:05:01,360 Speaker 3: literally gave her every single cent to make sure she 1337 01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:04,720 Speaker 3: lives a lavish lifestyle, which is also insane because she 1338 01:05:04,800 --> 01:05:07,960 Speaker 3: doesn't have the reality check to give her, you know, 1339 01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:12,040 Speaker 3: give her that notion she's doing all this lavish stuff. 1340 01:05:12,920 --> 01:05:14,440 Speaker 1: She's she didn't have a real job. 1341 01:05:14,960 --> 01:05:17,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm wondering if there's a way, because it seems 1342 01:05:17,320 --> 01:05:20,560 Speaker 2: like your mom is aware at least it's happening. If 1343 01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:23,040 Speaker 2: you guys can get it signed so that like your 1344 01:05:23,080 --> 01:05:24,680 Speaker 2: sister can't touch the money. 1345 01:05:24,840 --> 01:05:26,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, you took your words right out of my mouth. 1346 01:05:26,080 --> 01:05:28,000 Speaker 3: You need to get like something pen and paper your 1347 01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:29,560 Speaker 3: mom even though she like it's hard. 1348 01:05:29,840 --> 01:05:32,440 Speaker 2: I would wonder the rules though, with them both being 1349 01:05:32,880 --> 01:05:34,960 Speaker 2: like siblings kind of thing. But I think if the 1350 01:05:35,000 --> 01:05:37,560 Speaker 2: mom can sign off on it, you're probably good. 1351 01:05:37,680 --> 01:05:40,680 Speaker 3: But I'm what I'm afraid of is either a the 1352 01:05:40,720 --> 01:05:43,400 Speaker 3: sister since the sister takes care of the mom more so, 1353 01:05:44,880 --> 01:05:47,560 Speaker 3: or be like you's gonna take advantage of your mom 1354 01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:49,680 Speaker 3: and like no, like this is gonna be a good thing, 1355 01:05:49,800 --> 01:05:50,200 Speaker 3: right mom? 1356 01:05:50,280 --> 01:05:53,600 Speaker 2: Well, child, no mom wants out. 1357 01:05:54,320 --> 01:05:54,720 Speaker 1: I don't. 1358 01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:56,800 Speaker 2: I think if mom can actually get out, it'll be 1359 01:05:56,840 --> 01:05:57,640 Speaker 2: a lot easier. 1360 01:05:57,880 --> 01:05:59,600 Speaker 3: I think you need to have a sit down with 1361 01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:02,520 Speaker 3: a lot of family members. This is like hilarious how 1362 01:06:02,720 --> 01:06:07,120 Speaker 3: nothing from like the sister like takes anything negatively. She's like, oh, yeah, 1363 01:06:07,160 --> 01:06:09,680 Speaker 3: this is the money pit. But when it runs out, 1364 01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:12,400 Speaker 3: it's so one of those things where like you you 1365 01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:16,200 Speaker 3: know she's gonna she's accident or she's gonna like a 1366 01:06:16,320 --> 01:06:18,560 Speaker 3: wall and you're like, no, I'm trying to prevent you, 1367 01:06:18,640 --> 01:06:20,480 Speaker 3: and she's like, no, you're just you're just trying to 1368 01:06:20,480 --> 01:06:22,080 Speaker 3: be better than me. You think you're better than me, 1369 01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:23,360 Speaker 3: you think you know more than me. I know more 1370 01:06:23,400 --> 01:06:25,640 Speaker 3: than you. I don't wait, no more, I know way 1371 01:06:25,640 --> 01:06:28,880 Speaker 3: more than you. And it's she's like, I want to 1372 01:06:28,920 --> 01:06:30,960 Speaker 3: just let you hit the wall. But it's like it's 1373 01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:33,440 Speaker 3: not like especially with her your mom involved. I know 1374 01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:36,280 Speaker 3: it's so impossible. If your mom wasn't involved, would I 1375 01:06:36,320 --> 01:06:38,480 Speaker 3: would be like, all right, you can do that, learn 1376 01:06:38,520 --> 01:06:40,520 Speaker 3: the hard way, and don't come crying to me for 1377 01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:44,040 Speaker 3: any support or money. But I don't definitely just do 1378 01:06:44,080 --> 01:06:45,800 Speaker 3: something with your mom. See if she can sign something 1379 01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:48,360 Speaker 3: where your sister cannot get away with this because that 1380 01:06:48,440 --> 01:06:50,400 Speaker 3: is ridiculous, A little bit left. 1381 01:06:50,720 --> 01:06:54,040 Speaker 2: I don't know what to do, but I really feel crazy. 1382 01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:58,040 Speaker 2: Is it really unreasonable to research a solid investment plan 1383 01:06:58,160 --> 01:07:01,480 Speaker 2: so that this money makes money. It's our only chance 1384 01:07:01,520 --> 01:07:04,480 Speaker 2: to have such a large sum to invest. To me, 1385 01:07:04,840 --> 01:07:08,000 Speaker 2: this seems smart, especially because my mom is now in 1386 01:07:08,040 --> 01:07:11,320 Speaker 2: good health and could live many more years. I feel 1387 01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:14,960 Speaker 2: my sister is committed to poverty, unwilling to do anything 1388 01:07:14,960 --> 01:07:18,040 Speaker 2: to change it, and now even the idea of an 1389 01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:20,800 Speaker 2: investment is too much for her because she is so 1390 01:07:21,040 --> 01:07:24,960 Speaker 2: maxed out emotionally. I am so upset because I'm just 1391 01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:27,840 Speaker 2: trying to help. But I also feel we have to 1392 01:07:28,000 --> 01:07:31,560 Speaker 2: have a frank conversation about this. My sister can't keep 1393 01:07:31,560 --> 01:07:34,360 Speaker 2: taking my mom's money. I told her, if she can't 1394 01:07:34,360 --> 01:07:37,440 Speaker 2: handle investing it, she should just take out enough, maybe 1395 01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:39,920 Speaker 2: one hundred K to live on and then focus on 1396 01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:42,760 Speaker 2: getting back on her feet. But she can't take all 1397 01:07:42,800 --> 01:07:45,600 Speaker 2: this money out unless we have a solid investment plan. 1398 01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:49,800 Speaker 2: To me, that seems reasonable. Am I the a hole? No? No, 1399 01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:51,200 Speaker 2: you're not. 1400 01:07:51,600 --> 01:07:54,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you know again, a genuine conversation, get 1401 01:07:54,880 --> 01:07:58,120 Speaker 3: some paperwork involved, where it's like in it's solidified in 1402 01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:01,240 Speaker 3: writing with a lawyer or something like that where this 1403 01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:06,200 Speaker 3: cannot happen. Have a conversation with everyone there, You, your sister, 1404 01:08:06,280 --> 01:08:10,440 Speaker 3: your mom, uh, and just try and figure something out. 1405 01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:14,760 Speaker 3: Your sister needs a big old reality check because this 1406 01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:19,000 Speaker 3: is insane and you need to be like, hey, honestly, 1407 01:08:19,280 --> 01:08:22,280 Speaker 3: you need to start, like financially figure it out, which 1408 01:08:22,560 --> 01:08:25,639 Speaker 3: if you know, you probably have done many times before. 1409 01:08:25,680 --> 01:08:25,880 Speaker 2: Op. 1410 01:08:26,320 --> 01:08:30,680 Speaker 3: But you'd like that timeshare thing, stop it downside the 1411 01:08:30,680 --> 01:08:32,320 Speaker 3: car or like get it to get a new car 1412 01:08:32,360 --> 01:08:34,599 Speaker 3: where it's a little bit cheaper. Stop trying to live 1413 01:08:34,600 --> 01:08:37,719 Speaker 3: this lavish lifestyle. Also, your husband needs a job. What's 1414 01:08:37,720 --> 01:08:41,519 Speaker 3: he doing. There's there's a lot of giant red flags 1415 01:08:41,520 --> 01:08:44,360 Speaker 3: for her and her husband, which is just so bothersome, 1416 01:08:44,720 --> 01:08:46,800 Speaker 3: and you want the best for your mom especially. This 1417 01:08:46,840 --> 01:08:48,840 Speaker 3: is gonna cause more stress for her. I don't know 1418 01:08:49,040 --> 01:08:51,240 Speaker 3: it's and I get it. Your sister's doing a lot, 1419 01:08:51,479 --> 01:08:53,400 Speaker 3: and I'm going to give her that she's she's helping 1420 01:08:53,439 --> 01:08:55,880 Speaker 3: out your mom and she does need that credit, you 1421 01:08:55,920 --> 01:08:58,200 Speaker 3: know where it's due. And it's probably a lot of 1422 01:08:58,240 --> 01:09:02,320 Speaker 3: high stress. But one polar high stress and high emotions, 1423 01:09:02,360 --> 01:09:06,080 Speaker 3: they do some crazy things. So prevent that from happening 1424 01:09:06,320 --> 01:09:06,760 Speaker 3: for sure. 1425 01:09:07,200 --> 01:09:09,599 Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's the end of last story.