WEBVTT - Let's Get Medieval: Holy Relics Theft

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<v Speaker 1>Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio.

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<v Speaker 2>Elizabeth dutt is Sarah Burnett.

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<v Speaker 3>How you doing good?

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<v Speaker 1>There?

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<v Speaker 2>Are you feeling good? Feeling good in the neighborhood?

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<v Speaker 3>Totally? I mean, look at me over here, apple being up?

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<v Speaker 3>Just apple bean?

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<v Speaker 2>How you applebee?

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<v Speaker 3>What about you?

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<v Speaker 2>I'm good good? Yeah, nice good.

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<v Speaker 3>Gad to hear you got I got a question for

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<v Speaker 3>you while you're just you know, in the playful moods. Sure,

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<v Speaker 3>do you know what's ridiculous?

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<v Speaker 2>Honey?

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<v Speaker 3>I do, Honey, hush, honey.

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<v Speaker 2>You and I have talked a lot about how much

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<v Speaker 2>we like pickles, Yes, and embarrassingly amount, particularly grillos pickles, Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>the preferred Ridiculous crimes preferred pickle.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, they are in house fair.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you ever drink pickle juice?

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<v Speaker 3>I had a friend who used to, and he turned

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<v Speaker 3>me onto it, and it's definitely Actually I gotta say,

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<v Speaker 3>it does something. It gives you a boost, does it?

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<v Speaker 3>It does something? I'll just put it that way. I

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<v Speaker 3>would recommend doing it for long periods of time. But like,

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<v Speaker 3>say you're injured and you're like a kid and he drinks

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<v Speaker 3>some pickles made me feel better.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to tell you you drink your own pea too.

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<v Speaker 3>No, it's just like a face. It's like a brine.

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<v Speaker 3>So it's like people are in fermented stuff. This is

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<v Speaker 3>like fermented juice drunk. No, No, you just get like

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<v Speaker 3>it's like a wheat grass but but saltier. You know,

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<v Speaker 3>you get this pump.

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<v Speaker 2>Like. Yeah, the only time I use pickle juice is

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<v Speaker 2>when you get to the end of a grillo's tub.

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<v Speaker 2>Then you put chicken thighs in there to brind them,

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<v Speaker 2>and then you you put them in batter and deep frime,

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<v Speaker 2>and that's how you make a good chicken sandwich.

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<v Speaker 3>So you chef stuff up. I'm over here just like

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<v Speaker 3>remembering being ten so, but.

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<v Speaker 2>Every like I'll finish a thing of pickles and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't really need to be eating a fried chicken,

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<v Speaker 2>So like, what get out of here? And then I

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<v Speaker 2>dumb it down the drink. Anyway, that's not the ridiculous part.

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<v Speaker 2>I've dragged this on for far too long. I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>gonna drag it further. So another thing that you and

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<v Speaker 2>I like puff jackets. This is true, you know, like

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<v Speaker 2>north Face, I'm about that Codo Pasi light. So anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>what if what if you could. I don't know what's

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<v Speaker 2>the word, what's the phrase like mash up those two

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<v Speaker 2>things breathe deep. I can't express to you. There are

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<v Speaker 2>like pinnacle moments and communications from rude dudes to headquarters

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<v Speaker 2>about mashups, and it's usually they There was like a

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<v Speaker 2>Skittles one that was off the charts. The volume this

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<v Speaker 2>I think may have surpassed everything really because it's now

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<v Speaker 2>I'm starting to think, like, does the entire marketing world

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<v Speaker 2>listen to this podcast and then be like, you know

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<v Speaker 2>what a really delight Elizabeth and grind Xeran's gears so

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<v Speaker 2>kfc UK not not domestic garbage KFC.

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<v Speaker 3>Are they different? They like broken apart?

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<v Speaker 2>I think yeah they were. They colonized us, so kfs UK.

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<v Speaker 2>They have this product that they have created. Well, first

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<v Speaker 2>they have the pickle Manium menu they've introduced. Okay, it's

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<v Speaker 2>like a seasonal thing, pickleburger, pickle loaded fries, frickles.

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<v Speaker 3>Pickles are apparently the hot flavor right now.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess. And then pickle PEPSI max. So that's like

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<v Speaker 2>for your you and your little friends.

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<v Speaker 3>You put your pickle in too many places.

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<v Speaker 2>Now, that's what they all say. And so anyway, they

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<v Speaker 2>have this whole thing, right they have. If you go

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<v Speaker 2>to their Instagram, which is the hell on earth that

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<v Speaker 2>gives us all this stuff, they you can get something

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<v Speaker 2>called a pickle puffer and you have to like win it.

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<v Speaker 2>You can't just go buy it without knowing.

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<v Speaker 3>You brought in jackets earlier. Originally, if you would have

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<v Speaker 3>said pickle puffer, I would have imagined so many different

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<v Speaker 3>you know, it.

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<v Speaker 2>Would have been. So look, Zaron, I don't work blue.

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<v Speaker 2>So this is what I'm showing you a picture. It'll

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<v Speaker 2>be put up on Instagram. It's a puff jacket. We're

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<v Speaker 2>in the channels instead of down.

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<v Speaker 4>Like.

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<v Speaker 2>It's filled with pickle juice and slices of pickles. And

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<v Speaker 2>then you'll note up here these little vents. That's where

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<v Speaker 2>it's like a little nozzle. You can stick a straw

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<v Speaker 2>in and drink the pickle juice.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm afraid.

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<v Speaker 2>So if you get hurt, as you said, you just

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<v Speaker 2>this cushions the fall.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't know why it worked well.

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<v Speaker 2>And then pickle, but rather down or a down alternative.

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<v Speaker 2>The down alternative is pickles and pickle juice. Okay, so

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<v Speaker 2>it's again not in the store. You have to go

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<v Speaker 2>to KFC UK to their instagram.

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<v Speaker 3>Don't they have like a knife problem over in the UK?

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<v Speaker 2>They do? There are age limits on this kind of.

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<v Speaker 3>Like tempting, like the people who are poking. If you saw.

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<v Speaker 2>Someone I still lived in Glasgow, I would start carrying

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<v Speaker 2>a knife in hopes that I saw someone with this

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<v Speaker 2>and I would slash slash slash drip for carrying does it?

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<v Speaker 2>And the zipper pole is a pickle? I mean, Saron,

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<v Speaker 2>the detail, the attention to detail on this product. So

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<v Speaker 2>before I was saying like about that gross toothpaste, like hey,

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<v Speaker 2>oh see here, like let me show you this picture

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<v Speaker 2>and I'll have them put this one up too. There's

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<v Speaker 2>the it's a permanent straw.

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<v Speaker 5>Oh wow.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, if you live in the UK and you happen

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<v Speaker 2>to win this, let's talk. Let's talk, baby, because how

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<v Speaker 2>does it arrive to you? Does it arrive fully loaded

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<v Speaker 2>or do they give you you have to provide somewhere

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<v Speaker 2>because like they're not going to ship it. Maybe they will, Colley,

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<v Speaker 2>someone has to win this.

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<v Speaker 3>So many questions and then you don't have.

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<v Speaker 2>To give it to me, but just tell me about it.

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<v Speaker 2>That's ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 3>I'll give you this I know you will.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to wait.

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<v Speaker 3>Wait, I got something. Yeah to ungrind my gears. Imagine, Elizabeth,

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<v Speaker 3>the folks who dare to steal from the Lord's holy agents.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm talking the theft of holy relics again.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, this is ridiculous crime.

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<v Speaker 3>A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists and cons.

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<v Speaker 3>It's always ninety nine percent murder free and one hundred

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<v Speaker 3>percent ridiculous.

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, Elizabeth sar.

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<v Speaker 3>We're both Catholics. Yeah, well, I mean I don't put

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<v Speaker 3>that around Catholic. We're at least nonpracticing Catholics or perhaps

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<v Speaker 3>former Catholics. I don't know what language.

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<v Speaker 2>Non practicing Catholic. Me and the Mother Church.

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<v Speaker 3>We got issues, but we were catholically informed.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, we came up in it. It was so

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<v Speaker 2>kind of Catholics.

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<v Speaker 3>They say it informs our worldview, beings, what you know,

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<v Speaker 3>and and also our sense of the calendar. Like for instance,

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<v Speaker 3>I know, we just finished Holy Week, and sure I thought,

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<v Speaker 3>you know, this past Sunday was Easter. I didn't make

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<v Speaker 3>it to church, but I wanted to mark the occasion,

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<v Speaker 3>so I found some Catholic crimes.

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<v Speaker 2>I like it. I still if I lose something. I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>all right, Saint Anthony, let's talk. Oh yeah, let's get this,

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<v Speaker 2>let's get this found.

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<v Speaker 3>We're Saint Christopher metal all the time.

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<v Speaker 2>So you know, I don't know these things.

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<v Speaker 3>I guess I shouldn't say I'm non practicing. That's not

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<v Speaker 3>really fair.

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<v Speaker 2>Collapsed Catholics. There you go, Catholics on time out.

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<v Speaker 3>Now you've done an episode of religious relic thefts.

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<v Speaker 4>I did.

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<v Speaker 3>It was brilliant, terrible fun.

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<v Speaker 2>It was enjoyable, so good.

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<v Speaker 3>I wanted to go slightly surprise, surprise older. I was like,

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<v Speaker 3>how do I go back a couple of centuries today?

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<v Speaker 3>I haven't died.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's a medieval buffet of relic thefts. Yes, they

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<v Speaker 3>were popping it off. It was getting wild, but it's great.

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<v Speaker 2>It's great material.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so a buckle up, butter cup, we're about to

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<v Speaker 3>get ways with monks and nuns who decided to walk

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<v Speaker 3>on the wild side of the faith. At one time,

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<v Speaker 3>relic theft was so common there was actually a term

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<v Speaker 3>for it in Latin. The term is fertum sacra okay,

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<v Speaker 3>basically means holy theft.

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<v Speaker 2>Ye, holy theft.

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<v Speaker 3>Now, as you know, Catholics for us you know, relics

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<v Speaker 3>are believed to offer like a legit connection to the divine.

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<v Speaker 3>Like most relics are there like things, right, there's there's

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<v Speaker 3>like bones of the saints, perhaps a piece of clothing

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<v Speaker 3>that they wore or something they carry personal items exactly,

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<v Speaker 3>especially something that touched their skin. That's really kind of

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<v Speaker 3>important because also according to church beliefs, apparently if a

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<v Speaker 3>saint held an object through their touch, it kind of

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<v Speaker 3>like imbuse something that some of the divine grace passes

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<v Speaker 3>into the object, and a relic could actually do what

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<v Speaker 3>a saint could do, like perform miracles.

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<v Speaker 2>It's like DNA.

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<v Speaker 3>Well it's like yeah, but now it can perform miracles

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<v Speaker 3>the same ones the saint could do. It's like I've

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<v Speaker 3>given it my miracle power, right, which is you know

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<v Speaker 3>that's that's handy.

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<v Speaker 2>So handy.

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<v Speaker 3>Due to this profound spiritual power, relics they become cuted objects.

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<v Speaker 3>Everyone's like I wanted to get the miracle and viewing

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<v Speaker 3>like piece of saints bone or whatever. Now, Elizabeth, we

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<v Speaker 3>know what happens we coveted objects, right, Yeah, people steal crime.

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<v Speaker 3>So relic theft, as I said, it became so common

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<v Speaker 3>in the medieval era that it was actually not just

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<v Speaker 3>like oh, we have a name for it. It was

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<v Speaker 3>big business really. Oh yeah, there's like relic traders and

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<v Speaker 3>relic dealers, and they'd be breaking small fortune, like hawking

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<v Speaker 3>these relics right to all the true various true believers. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>and just the collectors and not just for like rich

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<v Speaker 3>private citizens. I'm talking. I mean like it was like

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<v Speaker 3>people who wanted protection. A lot of travelers, right, I know.

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<v Speaker 2>They were also I don't know if you're going to

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<v Speaker 2>discuss this, but there were a lot of fake relics.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, well there's definitely a lot of fake relics.

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<v Speaker 3>In this case. All these relics are ostensibly real something

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<v Speaker 3>like I'm not they.

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<v Speaker 2>Would get like chicken bones exactly.

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<v Speaker 3>Behold, anyone walking across the land if they hear there's like, oh,

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<v Speaker 3>a little pilgrimage site, they deviate like it's a roadside attraction.

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<v Speaker 2>That's how you draw money to market Exactly.

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<v Speaker 3>It was like an early way to raise some money

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<v Speaker 3>for the monastery, you know, hook up the nuns of

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<v Speaker 3>the convent.

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<v Speaker 2>Equivalent of when you're driving down like a lonesome highway

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<v Speaker 2>and you see a sign that says beef jerkey, and

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<v Speaker 2>we have fifteen kinds of beef jerky. And you're like,

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<v Speaker 2>all right.

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<v Speaker 3>The next time down the road walnuts.

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<v Speaker 2>Walnuts, oh any or driving in California up and down

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<v Speaker 2>the Central Valley, cherries and then all the dust rises

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<v Speaker 2>behind my car.

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<v Speaker 3>Rooster tailor gravel. No, as they said, relative trade theft

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<v Speaker 3>becomes so common. You have all these you traders, You

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<v Speaker 3>have people who are stealing your people who are like

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<v Speaker 3>just going out and like, you know, I'd really like

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<v Speaker 3>because it's become this thing that you know, it's going

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<v Speaker 3>to attract pilgrims. So if a holy relic is bought

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<v Speaker 3>or sold, obviously that means two things. Someone had to

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<v Speaker 3>steal it or you know, create it, and then they

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<v Speaker 3>had to sell it to the relic trader. Right, so

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<v Speaker 3>someone had to go and recover the holy objects. Sometimes

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<v Speaker 3>like oh, we go and went to the Holy Land

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<v Speaker 3>and we found this thing. So you get a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of adventurers coming back with tales of like pro nons

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<v Speaker 3>that are just outstanding. So at this point, like let's

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<v Speaker 3>consider the case of Saint Mark's Boats. Okay, way back

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<v Speaker 3>in the year eight eight to nine eighty nine, right,

0:11:11.440 --> 0:11:13.520
<v Speaker 3>I remember it well, Venetian merchants.

0:11:13.720 --> 0:11:14.920
<v Speaker 2>I was but a young girl.

0:11:15.120 --> 0:11:18.800
<v Speaker 3>You were, what, yeah, just a glimmer in the Iopa scene. Yeah,

0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:22.559
<v Speaker 3>I think sixteenth. So there are these two merchants, actually

0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:27.480
<v Speaker 3>Venetian merchants. They had great names, Buano and Rustico. Yeah,

0:11:27.559 --> 0:11:29.120
<v Speaker 3>they decided to ignore the bands.

0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:32.800
<v Speaker 2>They're like, they're like named after supermarket brand name Breads.

0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:38.880
<v Speaker 3>Totally. So, yeah, they decided there's a band at the time,

0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:43.200
<v Speaker 3>Elizabeth against doing business with the various Muslims.

0:11:43.679 --> 0:11:46.600
<v Speaker 2>There was a band. I was like, oh no, the Beatles, like.

0:11:47.240 --> 0:11:50.800
<v Speaker 3>The Italian city states, they pretty much were been banned

0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:53.559
<v Speaker 3>by the part of doing business with the Muslim kingdoms

0:11:53.640 --> 0:11:57.240
<v Speaker 3>on the eastern Mediterranean. So they uh they you know,

0:11:57.360 --> 0:12:00.400
<v Speaker 3>and also North Africa, and uh so these are like,

0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:02.319
<v Speaker 3>the hell with all that, we're Venetian merchants. We don't

0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:05.120
<v Speaker 3>get god damn about all that. We're from the most

0:12:05.120 --> 0:12:08.280
<v Speaker 3>serene republic. We were all different. So they went down

0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:10.960
<v Speaker 3>to Alexandria in Egypt to do a little trading. And

0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:13.720
<v Speaker 3>while they're there buying up you know, cotton and lace

0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:16.800
<v Speaker 3>and silk and spices and whatnot, they hear about the

0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:19.160
<v Speaker 3>bones of Saint Mark and they're like, wait, where where

0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:21.400
<v Speaker 3>is the who's it now? They're like, oh, yeah, he

0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.640
<v Speaker 3>wasn't for sale because it wasn't his body for sale.

0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:25.839
<v Speaker 3>He was just sort of laying about right, just falling

0:12:25.840 --> 0:12:27.240
<v Speaker 3>into a state of vispers at that point.

0:12:27.280 --> 0:12:29.400
<v Speaker 2>It was more he was kind of a freshie at

0:12:29.400 --> 0:12:34.439
<v Speaker 2>that point, he really was.

0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:36.600
<v Speaker 3>They were like, wait, he's bouldering.

0:12:36.640 --> 0:12:39.960
<v Speaker 2>Where follows follow the vultures.

0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:43.480
<v Speaker 3>They're like, we gotta go hook up Saint Mark soil.

0:12:43.720 --> 0:12:46.280
<v Speaker 3>Someone points him out. This pair of Venetian traders. They

0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:51.760
<v Speaker 3>go and they decided they take it. They're like rfk.

0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.160
<v Speaker 3>They're like, I gotta take this, put it, put it

0:12:54.160 --> 0:12:58.680
<v Speaker 3>in the boat. Right. They saved Saint Mark's bones and

0:12:58.720 --> 0:13:00.280
<v Speaker 3>they bring it back to Italy where they be like

0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:03.680
<v Speaker 3>properly venerated and whatnot. So they they go, we can't

0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:05.680
<v Speaker 3>do this by ourselves. We're just a pair of Venetian traders.

0:13:05.679 --> 0:13:08.079
<v Speaker 3>We're gonna need help. So they get two monks, right,

0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:11.720
<v Speaker 3>they find these two monks Storatius and Theodorus, and they're like, hey,

0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.520
<v Speaker 3>teddy storry, come on, and when do you need your help.

0:13:14.559 --> 0:13:16.520
<v Speaker 3>The two, the four of them that go together, they

0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:19.520
<v Speaker 3>pull a holy heist. They steal Saint Mark's bones. Plant

0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:23.280
<v Speaker 3>is super simple. They procure another body because they're like, look,

0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:25.760
<v Speaker 3>if we just take the body, people will know they're

0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:28.040
<v Speaker 3>just like a clean spot on top of the mausoleum.

0:13:28.120 --> 0:13:30.840
<v Speaker 3>Or we gotta like leave a body the more similar.

0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:32.480
<v Speaker 3>So they had to find one in a similar state

0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:35.400
<v Speaker 3>of disrepair. Once they got a body that you know,

0:13:35.520 --> 0:13:38.320
<v Speaker 3>matched up, right, then they go and they take that

0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:41.040
<v Speaker 3>and swap it with Saint Mark's bones and then like

0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:42.560
<v Speaker 3>you know, this is like not easy to do in

0:13:42.559 --> 0:13:45.040
<v Speaker 3>the year age twenty nine. Actually it's probably really easy

0:13:45.040 --> 0:13:46.559
<v Speaker 3>to do to find a body in the year A

0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:49.920
<v Speaker 3>twenty nine. Anyway, once they got the decoy bones secured,

0:13:49.960 --> 0:13:52.000
<v Speaker 3>they break in, they swap out the bones for the

0:13:52.000 --> 0:13:55.040
<v Speaker 3>holy bones of Saint Mark. Then they make their flight

0:13:55.080 --> 0:13:57.960
<v Speaker 3>from Egypt. Right. But first like they're like, they're like

0:13:58.000 --> 0:13:59.760
<v Speaker 3>a bunch of biblical patriarchs, like, how do we get

0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:00.480
<v Speaker 3>the hell to Egypt?

0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:00.679
<v Speaker 2>Right?

0:14:00.679 --> 0:14:03.680
<v Speaker 3>But at the same time they have they know the answer,

0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:05.120
<v Speaker 3>which is, we got to go down the harbor. We

0:14:05.120 --> 0:14:07.200
<v Speaker 3>got to get back on our boat. But you know,

0:14:07.280 --> 0:14:10.280
<v Speaker 3>harbors were you know, monitored. You had to tell people

0:14:10.320 --> 0:14:12.040
<v Speaker 3>what you were here. You got to show a ship's

0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:14.120
<v Speaker 3>manifest So how are they going to get the boat

0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:16.680
<v Speaker 3>the bones by? Like, what's up with the bag of bones? Bro.

0:14:17.400 --> 0:14:20.560
<v Speaker 3>So at this point, the Egyptian port authority they want

0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:22.800
<v Speaker 3>to inspect the goods and wears getting loaded on, So

0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:25.560
<v Speaker 3>where are they going to hide the bones of Saint Mark? Well,

0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:28.520
<v Speaker 3>the port authorities they get tipped off by this strange

0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:32.320
<v Speaker 3>scent of bones, apparently that's the story that I heard.

0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:36.120
<v Speaker 3>I think it's the smell of decay yea. Anyway, so

0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:38.840
<v Speaker 3>they go what's that smell? Essentially right, and they're like,

0:14:38.880 --> 0:14:41.240
<v Speaker 3>you got to open up all the barrels, the crates,

0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:44.120
<v Speaker 3>and so they start cracking stuff open and they don't

0:14:44.120 --> 0:14:46.960
<v Speaker 3>find anything except for a bunch of pork, like salted

0:14:47.040 --> 0:14:50.440
<v Speaker 3>pork and so forth. And they're like, oh, oh yeah, sorry,

0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:53.120
<v Speaker 3>I don't dig on swine. So they're like, you can

0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:55.480
<v Speaker 3>steal that back up, they don't go digging into the pork.

0:14:55.560 --> 0:14:57.920
<v Speaker 3>And that was the way that they snuck Saint Mark.

0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:00.840
<v Speaker 3>The egypt is underneath a bunch of moldering port.

0:15:01.200 --> 0:15:01.240
<v Speaker 2>Go.

0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:04.280
<v Speaker 3>This is just bad. I'm bad. I'm batch anyway, being

0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:08.400
<v Speaker 3>familiar obviously with these Muslim dietary customs, they were able

0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:11.760
<v Speaker 3>to pull off a successful furtum secra. Right, yeah, no,

0:15:11.840 --> 0:15:13.720
<v Speaker 3>holy heist. They weren't always such a seat of your

0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.360
<v Speaker 3>pants swillers. Sometimes they were a little more hands on,

0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:19.120
<v Speaker 3>or is the case maybe teeth on. For example, in

0:15:19.120 --> 0:15:21.800
<v Speaker 3>the late eleven hundreds, there was a bishop named Bishop

0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:24.160
<v Speaker 3>Hugh of Lincoln, and he was kind of jealous of

0:15:24.200 --> 0:15:28.040
<v Speaker 3>the monks down at the Abbey of feet Comp in Normandy. No,

0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:30.560
<v Speaker 3>Bishop Hugh of Lincoln was apparently not worried about his

0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:33.480
<v Speaker 3>eternal damnation. He goes down to the Abbey of fan

0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:36.720
<v Speaker 3>Comp and that's the final resting place of the hand

0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:40.080
<v Speaker 3>of Mary Magdalen. Oh right, As you know, Elizabeth, some

0:15:40.160 --> 0:15:43.280
<v Speaker 3>Catholics believe that Mary Magdalen escaped the Holy Land after

0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:45.640
<v Speaker 3>the crucifixion of Jesus and then she like cut across

0:15:45.720 --> 0:15:48.840
<v Speaker 3>the Mediterranean Sea and she landed in France.

0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:49.120
<v Speaker 2>Right.

0:15:49.600 --> 0:15:52.200
<v Speaker 3>If you've seen the Dan Brown movies with Tom Hanks.

0:15:51.920 --> 0:15:53.400
<v Speaker 2>So good the haircut, he.

0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:57.960
<v Speaker 3>You know, Allegedly, Mary Magdalen didn't just flee the Holy Land,

0:15:58.000 --> 0:15:59.920
<v Speaker 3>but she left in order to protect the child she had,

0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:03.680
<v Speaker 3>because Jesus's girl or his daughter. They landed the south

0:16:03.720 --> 0:16:06.920
<v Speaker 3>of France and they start the Merivingian line essentially right

0:16:06.960 --> 0:16:09.400
<v Speaker 3>now anyway, whether you believe all that or not, why not?

0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.280
<v Speaker 2>You know I've said this before. I believe absolutely anything.

0:16:12.320 --> 0:16:16.440
<v Speaker 3>Now keep it, keep yourself open. I believe things that

0:16:16.520 --> 0:16:17.440
<v Speaker 3>contradict each other.

0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:18.840
<v Speaker 2>I contain multitudes.

0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:22.760
<v Speaker 3>Whether you believe all this story about Jesus having a

0:16:22.840 --> 0:16:25.720
<v Speaker 3>daughter in south of France, why not. Many of the

0:16:25.760 --> 0:16:28.280
<v Speaker 3>French Catholics did, right, So in the Abbey fan Holmp

0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.680
<v Speaker 3>they kept the hand of Mary Magdalen.

0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:34.320
<v Speaker 2>Is like, believe this totally.

0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:37.320
<v Speaker 3>So the Bishop Hugh of Lincolne, he shows up right

0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:39.720
<v Speaker 3>and when he asks to see the holy relicant venerated,

0:16:39.960 --> 0:16:42.080
<v Speaker 3>he gets brought to the reliquary and he's shown the

0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:45.240
<v Speaker 3>hand of Mary Magdalene, which he then venerates with a

0:16:45.280 --> 0:16:47.600
<v Speaker 3>respectful kiss, like you would like on the Pope's ring

0:16:47.720 --> 0:16:50.200
<v Speaker 3>or something. Right, Only his kiss wasn't meant to be

0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.480
<v Speaker 3>respectful at all, because when his lips touched like the

0:16:52.640 --> 0:16:55.920
<v Speaker 3>decrepit bear skin of the hand of Mary Magdalene, bishop

0:16:55.960 --> 0:16:59.400
<v Speaker 3>parts his lips and he bites off the piece, yes

0:16:59.640 --> 0:17:06.359
<v Speaker 3>a little for the Bishop Elizabeth, and then he pockets it.

0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:11.520
<v Speaker 3>He made a new relic. So when the Bishop was

0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.120
<v Speaker 3>confronted about what he'd done because people were like, did

0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:17.200
<v Speaker 3>you just bite Mary Magdalen's hand? He's like, but what

0:17:18.320 --> 0:17:22.159
<v Speaker 3>like secret in his he had an excuse ready. He

0:17:22.200 --> 0:17:24.439
<v Speaker 3>told anyone who questioned his relic theft that there was

0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:27.280
<v Speaker 3>no relic on earth that could be considered more holy

0:17:27.640 --> 0:17:29.560
<v Speaker 3>than the body and blood of Christ, which, if you

0:17:29.560 --> 0:17:32.000
<v Speaker 3>think about it, he let pass his lips each and

0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:34.760
<v Speaker 3>every Sunday. So what's a little Mary Magdalene to go

0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:36.520
<v Speaker 3>past his lips? He's like, you know, if I bite

0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:38.840
<v Speaker 3>off a little digit and that's who can judge me.

0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:41.080
<v Speaker 2>He's like, that's like the third holiest thing that's spent

0:17:41.200 --> 0:17:43.480
<v Speaker 2>in this mouth. Exactly what a freak.

0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:46.119
<v Speaker 3>So I don't mean it's that great grocer crass. But

0:17:49.520 --> 0:17:52.399
<v Speaker 3>relic theft was big business Elizabeth in the medieval period,

0:17:52.400 --> 0:17:55.080
<v Speaker 3>but also really weird. Right to keep those two things

0:17:55.160 --> 0:17:58.040
<v Speaker 3>in mind as we go through more stories, like, for one,

0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.320
<v Speaker 3>there was a Pilgrim's bouncing all around Europe, right, and

0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:02.960
<v Speaker 3>they would just pay to visit and pay their respects,

0:18:03.119 --> 0:18:05.360
<v Speaker 3>So you got all this loose money again, so keep

0:18:05.359 --> 0:18:07.440
<v Speaker 3>that in mind as well. So he's like, how is

0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:09.760
<v Speaker 3>this happening? There's a lot of loose money slashing around

0:18:10.119 --> 0:18:12.520
<v Speaker 3>now if you think about it. Also, a single saints

0:18:12.600 --> 0:18:15.600
<v Speaker 3>body can be broken up into many many relics, as

0:18:15.600 --> 0:18:19.000
<v Speaker 3>I pointed out with the bishop biting off a piece, right, yes,

0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:22.720
<v Speaker 3>so is keep that in mind as well. Now, also

0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:25.159
<v Speaker 3>like the true Cross which you mentioned earlier, that Jesus

0:18:25.200 --> 0:18:29.479
<v Speaker 3>was crucified on the early Roman emperor Constantine. He had

0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:32.280
<v Speaker 3>his mother, Saint Helena go traveling around the Holy Land

0:18:32.320 --> 0:18:35.040
<v Speaker 3>identifying holy site. She finds the Church of the Holy Sepulcher,

0:18:35.119 --> 0:18:37.320
<v Speaker 3>she finds the True Cross. That's her like her real

0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:38.919
<v Speaker 3>big get is like, oh I found.

0:18:38.640 --> 0:18:41.080
<v Speaker 2>The cross that almer right there.

0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:43.720
<v Speaker 3>No, we've joked about it before, but the splinters of

0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:45.440
<v Speaker 3>the true Cross or sprinkled.

0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:46.280
<v Speaker 2>All over her. There's so many.

0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:48.480
<v Speaker 3>There's like in every church. There's so many churches that

0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:49.560
<v Speaker 3>have like a little piece of.

0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:53.639
<v Speaker 2>The to just like watch them all like massa to

0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:57.040
<v Speaker 2>themselves back together into the cross.

0:18:56.560 --> 0:18:59.200
<v Speaker 3>Like a supercross, like outside of a Texis auto dealers.

0:18:59.240 --> 0:19:01.400
<v Speaker 3>Like just like the size of those flags.

0:19:01.400 --> 0:19:04.879
<v Speaker 2>At the end the end times they all love it take.

0:19:04.920 --> 0:19:06.600
<v Speaker 3>Like a small forest of crosses.

0:19:06.800 --> 0:19:10.639
<v Speaker 2>Just what if it actually what if they are like

0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:13.840
<v Speaker 2>a jigsaw puzzle and it is appropriate human sized cross

0:19:14.480 --> 0:19:16.520
<v Speaker 2>and everyone's been telling the truth this whole time.

0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:19.160
<v Speaker 3>Once again, I believe both. I believe because I don't

0:19:19.200 --> 0:19:24.760
<v Speaker 3>have to. I believe the an answer exactly. So, uh,

0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:25.680
<v Speaker 3>you know, maybe it was.

0:19:25.680 --> 0:19:29.760
<v Speaker 2>Maybe it wasn't sure, I don't know, I don't wait right, So.

0:19:29.760 --> 0:19:33.880
<v Speaker 3>Uh why this is why belief requires faith, Elizabeth, Exactly. Now,

0:19:33.960 --> 0:19:35.879
<v Speaker 3>now that we got this ball a rolling, let's take

0:19:35.880 --> 0:19:37.800
<v Speaker 3>a quick break, and when we're back, we'll get into

0:19:38.040 --> 0:19:41.520
<v Speaker 3>more outlandish medieval era relic bets. A lot of these

0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:44.240
<v Speaker 3>could be movies. I'm just saying, keep out there, back

0:19:44.240 --> 0:20:06.520
<v Speaker 3>into it too, number back, Elizabeth.

0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:08.919
<v Speaker 2>Are I need to really quickly get I want to

0:20:08.960 --> 0:20:13.679
<v Speaker 2>say to sister collect Carol, I am so sorry, and

0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:15.720
<v Speaker 2>you used to get me in trouble all the time.

0:20:15.800 --> 0:20:19.280
<v Speaker 2>I noticed how I phrased that she used to be

0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:22.119
<v Speaker 2>because of what she said are my quote muttered comments

0:20:22.600 --> 0:20:24.280
<v Speaker 2>from the back of the room. And so we all

0:20:24.320 --> 0:20:27.320
<v Speaker 2>saw this coming, sister Collette. But I don't mean anything

0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:30.120
<v Speaker 2>by this same personal so send that out to everybody

0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:33.040
<v Speaker 2>up there. I don't mean this is just Joshin's.

0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:37.119
<v Speaker 3>And a ditto for me. So you're writing now to

0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:42.480
<v Speaker 3>dive deeper into the century long tradition of blok theft. Yes, good, good,

0:20:42.600 --> 0:20:45.680
<v Speaker 3>So this brings us to our next big holy relic theft. Elizabeth,

0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:47.119
<v Speaker 3>have you ever heard of Saint Foi?

0:20:47.800 --> 0:20:52.720
<v Speaker 2>Saint foy y e f o y.

0:20:51.800 --> 0:20:53.160
<v Speaker 3>I was not familiar with her game.

0:20:53.440 --> 0:20:55.680
<v Speaker 2>No, oh, it's it's she, Yeah, same.

0:20:55.720 --> 0:20:58.120
<v Speaker 3>Foy was a Roman girl who lived in the late

0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:01.880
<v Speaker 3>two hundreds and early three hundreds. She Fory Saint Foi.

0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:04.560
<v Speaker 3>She was born into a noble family in a town

0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:09.120
<v Speaker 3>called ajin age N in France. And at the time,

0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:12.199
<v Speaker 3>the Roman emperor was Diocletian, and he was known for

0:21:12.400 --> 0:21:15.600
<v Speaker 3>like violent repression, the persecution of the early Christians. He

0:21:15.640 --> 0:21:18.320
<v Speaker 3>was one of the last emperors to really be like, no,

0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:19.639
<v Speaker 3>f them Christians, right.

0:21:19.760 --> 0:21:21.280
<v Speaker 2>He was one of the rock and roll bad boys.

0:21:21.359 --> 0:21:23.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, exactly, feed them to the lions, you know. So,

0:21:24.000 --> 0:21:27.240
<v Speaker 3>Saint Foi she gets caught up in Diocletian's wave of persecution.

0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:31.680
<v Speaker 3>She's arrested for practicing her faith. She refuses to renounce

0:21:31.800 --> 0:21:34.399
<v Speaker 3>her belief in Jesus Christ. When she's brought before the

0:21:34.480 --> 0:21:39.320
<v Speaker 3>Roman prefect of the area, this man named Dacian, she

0:21:39.359 --> 0:21:43.040
<v Speaker 3>gets questioned by him. She gets interrogated. Saint Foix, praise aloud,

0:21:43.480 --> 0:21:46.320
<v Speaker 3>Lord Jesus Christ, you, who always aid your own in

0:21:46.440 --> 0:21:50.479
<v Speaker 3>every circumstance, be present now with your handmaid, and supply

0:21:50.720 --> 0:21:53.840
<v Speaker 3>acceptable words to my mouth which I may give in

0:21:54.000 --> 0:21:58.480
<v Speaker 3>answer before this tyrant. Now, this anger is the Roman prefectation,

0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:00.760
<v Speaker 3>and he demands that you know you reject to church

0:22:00.840 --> 0:22:02.119
<v Speaker 3>right now in front of me. I want to hear

0:22:02.119 --> 0:22:04.600
<v Speaker 3>the words coming out of your mouth right and this

0:22:04.720 --> 0:22:06.040
<v Speaker 3>is like, you know, it's a major no go for

0:22:06.119 --> 0:22:08.800
<v Speaker 3>Saint Foy. She's like, for the name of my Lord

0:22:08.880 --> 0:22:11.320
<v Speaker 3>Jesus Christ, and I have been prepared not only to

0:22:11.400 --> 0:22:15.280
<v Speaker 3>be threatened, but to suffer all kinds of torments.

0:22:15.160 --> 0:22:17.520
<v Speaker 2>All the slings in the arrows, right, yes, you know,

0:22:17.600 --> 0:22:19.600
<v Speaker 2>She's like, I'll fring it up.

0:22:20.440 --> 0:22:23.359
<v Speaker 3>So the Roman Prefect's like, okay, bet so he's like,

0:22:23.400 --> 0:22:26.400
<v Speaker 3>I got torments to go. So same boy. She has

0:22:26.440 --> 0:22:28.880
<v Speaker 3>to call upon God's protection because she makes a sign

0:22:28.960 --> 0:22:31.240
<v Speaker 3>of the cross her forehead or mouth or heart, and

0:22:31.240 --> 0:22:33.520
<v Speaker 3>then she's tortured. We won't get any of that because

0:22:33.680 --> 0:22:35.800
<v Speaker 3>I don't know if this counts against our ninety nine

0:22:35.800 --> 0:22:38.840
<v Speaker 3>percent murder free guarantee. But let's just say making a

0:22:38.880 --> 0:22:43.440
<v Speaker 3>saint probably does qualify for all one. So she gets

0:22:43.480 --> 0:22:45.600
<v Speaker 3>martyred in the year three oh three. At the time

0:22:45.640 --> 0:22:48.159
<v Speaker 3>of her death, she's twelve years old. A twelve year

0:22:48.160 --> 0:22:51.040
<v Speaker 3>old girl did all that, stood up to Rome to

0:22:51.160 --> 0:22:53.440
<v Speaker 3>the point of death. Like I'm telling you, rocking hard

0:22:53.480 --> 0:22:56.840
<v Speaker 3>and the same foid seriously. After her martyrdom, her belongings,

0:22:56.920 --> 0:22:58.880
<v Speaker 3>especially those but she had, you know, to touch her skin,

0:22:58.960 --> 0:23:01.439
<v Speaker 3>they get hidden away as whole relics. And in the

0:23:01.480 --> 0:23:05.400
<v Speaker 3>fifth century, this basilica gets constructed because at this point,

0:23:05.520 --> 0:23:07.600
<v Speaker 3>you know, the Roman Catholic Church has been formed and

0:23:07.640 --> 0:23:11.040
<v Speaker 3>they're just building basilicas and anything that's like, oh, especially

0:23:11.040 --> 0:23:13.560
<v Speaker 3>for the early Christian saints. They're like, let's let's make

0:23:13.560 --> 0:23:16.520
<v Speaker 3>a memorial hair you spread the faith, give people somewhere

0:23:16.560 --> 0:23:19.199
<v Speaker 3>to stop on their walks, right, So they make up

0:23:19.200 --> 0:23:22.159
<v Speaker 3>basilica for her. It's constructed to house her relics. She

0:23:22.280 --> 0:23:25.520
<v Speaker 3>becomes the patron of Ojen and her feast day Elizabeth

0:23:25.560 --> 0:23:28.240
<v Speaker 3>October sixth, Okay, is not the end of her story.

0:23:28.359 --> 0:23:30.840
<v Speaker 2>I was just looking up that she's the patron saint

0:23:30.880 --> 0:23:33.560
<v Speaker 2>of pilgrims. Yes, are you going to talk about this?

0:23:34.119 --> 0:23:38.760
<v Speaker 2>The prisoners, soldiers and those suffering from eye diseases.

0:23:38.880 --> 0:23:42.280
<v Speaker 3>Yes, she was good. I'm curing blindness and getting people free.

0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:43.920
<v Speaker 3>Those are her two p I love.

0:23:43.720 --> 0:23:46.080
<v Speaker 2>When they throw in like you know all these people

0:23:46.119 --> 0:23:50.800
<v Speaker 2>plus you know dyspepasias exactly. Oh yeah, this is.

0:23:53.040 --> 0:23:57.440
<v Speaker 3>So. The year is eight nineteen. A monastery is founded

0:23:58.000 --> 0:24:01.240
<v Speaker 3>is constructed in the town of camp in France. The

0:24:01.240 --> 0:24:04.840
<v Speaker 3>monastery is originally like this quiet repose for spiritual reflection,

0:24:04.960 --> 0:24:07.239
<v Speaker 3>just a few brothers hanging out praying all day. But

0:24:07.240 --> 0:24:09.359
<v Speaker 3>what they what they realize over time is that no

0:24:09.359 --> 0:24:11.080
<v Speaker 3>one's coming out to see them. They don't make the

0:24:11.080 --> 0:24:13.679
<v Speaker 3>best wine, they don't make the best soap, right, and

0:24:13.880 --> 0:24:16.720
<v Speaker 3>so what they also clearly lack is some holy relics. Right,

0:24:16.800 --> 0:24:19.680
<v Speaker 3>So the brothers start talking. Time passes. They don't have

0:24:19.720 --> 0:24:21.600
<v Speaker 3>any money, so they're like, how we're gonna get some relics?

0:24:21.680 --> 0:24:23.560
<v Speaker 3>Right that? Can we pray on it? Should we ask

0:24:23.600 --> 0:24:25.159
<v Speaker 3>some people like hey, would you want to bring us

0:24:25.160 --> 0:24:27.879
<v Speaker 3>a relic to be like trade with another monastery? Like

0:24:27.920 --> 0:24:30.520
<v Speaker 3>nobody likes our soap, nobody looks her wi right. So

0:24:30.640 --> 0:24:32.719
<v Speaker 3>the year eight sixty six, some monks they get their

0:24:32.760 --> 0:24:36.040
<v Speaker 3>minds around the idea of like okay's let's expand the

0:24:36.119 --> 0:24:38.600
<v Speaker 3>idea of what is a legitimate way to get a

0:24:38.640 --> 0:24:41.720
<v Speaker 3>holy relic? Right, So we need something to encourage some

0:24:41.760 --> 0:24:43.399
<v Speaker 3>pilgrims to come out here to make a track to

0:24:43.480 --> 0:24:44.119
<v Speaker 3>the monastery.

0:24:44.240 --> 0:24:44.480
<v Speaker 2>Right.

0:24:44.560 --> 0:24:46.520
<v Speaker 3>So they also want to basically put because at this

0:24:46.520 --> 0:24:48.200
<v Speaker 3>point it's it's kind of a way to put your

0:24:48.280 --> 0:24:51.119
<v Speaker 3>your name, like your town on the medieval map. But

0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:54.160
<v Speaker 3>you get involved because it's basically they're making the maps.

0:24:54.160 --> 0:24:56.439
<v Speaker 3>So they're like, yeah, stop here, you don't have anything.

0:24:56.480 --> 0:24:58.240
<v Speaker 3>They're like, oh, if you run into it, good luck.

0:24:58.920 --> 0:25:01.320
<v Speaker 3>But anyway, so the monks, they attempt to get their

0:25:01.359 --> 0:25:03.880
<v Speaker 3>hands on the relics of Saint Vincent, right or Saint

0:25:03.960 --> 0:25:06.879
<v Speaker 3>Vincent now the Indie Darlings, not that I don't mean

0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:09.919
<v Speaker 3>the Indie Darlings singer songwriter, right, not Saint Vincent, but

0:25:10.000 --> 0:25:13.680
<v Speaker 3>a Saint Vincent right now there's also uh, he's the

0:25:13.720 --> 0:25:16.040
<v Speaker 3>og Saint Vincent of Saragosa.

0:25:16.160 --> 0:25:16.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:25:16.600 --> 0:25:19.560
<v Speaker 3>Well now they make like a if they're again they're

0:25:19.600 --> 0:25:22.960
<v Speaker 3>trying to trade wine, brandy, like what else do we make?

0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:25.880
<v Speaker 3>Do we do any woodworking? Nobody wants anything from them,

0:25:25.920 --> 0:25:28.080
<v Speaker 3>so they can't get any relics. When that fails, they

0:25:28.080 --> 0:25:30.800
<v Speaker 3>try to arrange a deal for these relics from the

0:25:30.880 --> 0:25:33.280
<v Speaker 3>other Saint Vincent, Like they go like, woy about Saint

0:25:33.359 --> 0:25:37.160
<v Speaker 3>Vincent too, So they go with a Saint Vincent Pampa Jack. Right,

0:25:37.160 --> 0:25:38.960
<v Speaker 3>They're like, how about he like he's got two names,

0:25:39.200 --> 0:25:41.480
<v Speaker 3>hook it up, right, and and he's the he's in

0:25:41.560 --> 0:25:43.440
<v Speaker 3>the town of Ogin, so like that should.

0:25:43.240 --> 0:25:44.959
<v Speaker 2>Be this is a local boy exactly.

0:25:45.040 --> 0:25:47.000
<v Speaker 3>They're like, come on, monk to monk, hook us up,

0:25:47.119 --> 0:25:48.960
<v Speaker 3>just like break us off like a digit, just like

0:25:49.000 --> 0:25:52.840
<v Speaker 3>maybe like a knuckle right, and that fails. They get nothing, right,

0:25:52.880 --> 0:25:55.280
<v Speaker 3>So the next these the monks of this abbey and kunks,

0:25:55.600 --> 0:25:57.919
<v Speaker 3>they set their sights on some other relics in Ojin

0:25:58.000 --> 0:26:00.679
<v Speaker 3>because like that we've been around, we've been eying relics

0:26:00.680 --> 0:26:02.880
<v Speaker 3>in this you guys are you're rich with them, right,

0:26:02.920 --> 0:26:05.520
<v Speaker 3>So they have like like what about the holy relics?

0:26:05.520 --> 0:26:07.119
<v Speaker 3>The same boy, you know, the twelve year old girl

0:26:07.160 --> 0:26:09.320
<v Speaker 3>who was old boss, And they're like like, they're like, well,

0:26:09.400 --> 0:26:11.680
<v Speaker 3>what are you talking about? I don't know? So they

0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:14.560
<v Speaker 3>they can't. They they're trying to work on a deal, right,

0:26:14.600 --> 0:26:17.359
<v Speaker 3>they don't get turned down, but they really fixate on

0:26:17.440 --> 0:26:19.600
<v Speaker 3>her relics. Right, He's like that would be great because,

0:26:19.600 --> 0:26:23.000
<v Speaker 3>like you can point it out, she's good with soldiers, travelers,

0:26:23.440 --> 0:26:25.280
<v Speaker 3>that she can cure the blind. There's a lot of

0:26:25.320 --> 0:26:27.840
<v Speaker 3>like you know, blindness going around.

0:26:27.920 --> 0:26:28.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, head on over.

0:26:29.080 --> 0:26:30.879
<v Speaker 3>And she also would get prisoners free, so people with

0:26:31.000 --> 0:26:33.080
<v Speaker 3>like hope, like oh my son got locked up and

0:26:33.119 --> 0:26:36.000
<v Speaker 3>in the city which I'm praying on it would free them.

0:26:36.200 --> 0:26:38.440
<v Speaker 3>Could put a word in they.

0:26:37.840 --> 0:26:41.560
<v Speaker 2>Should have sold some dirty limericks to raise the money.

0:26:42.600 --> 0:26:43.000
<v Speaker 2>Why not?

0:26:43.800 --> 0:26:47.359
<v Speaker 3>Good move. So at this point, like the monks are like,

0:26:47.600 --> 0:26:49.240
<v Speaker 3>we need to get some of this for ourselves. So

0:26:49.280 --> 0:26:51.240
<v Speaker 3>we can get our hands with some relics the same void.

0:26:51.280 --> 0:26:53.959
<v Speaker 3>We could turn this monastery into a real draw for tourists.

0:26:54.119 --> 0:26:56.240
<v Speaker 3>Doesn't matter how bad our wine is, it doesn't matter

0:26:56.280 --> 0:26:58.600
<v Speaker 3>how bad our soap is. They'll come just for that.

0:26:58.640 --> 0:27:01.080
<v Speaker 3>So they come up with a plan. Enter a monk

0:27:01.080 --> 0:27:04.960
<v Speaker 3>with crime on his mind. There's this monk named Eronistus, right,

0:27:05.200 --> 0:27:07.439
<v Speaker 3>He's part of the Order of Monks and Conks. And

0:27:07.720 --> 0:27:10.000
<v Speaker 3>he then he's like, okay, I'm gonna go deep cover

0:27:10.080 --> 0:27:13.600
<v Speaker 3>on this. So he transfers to work in Ojen. Right,

0:27:13.680 --> 0:27:15.880
<v Speaker 3>He's like, okay, they I'll break off a bone when

0:27:15.880 --> 0:27:18.320
<v Speaker 3>I get a chance, right, So he's there, he joins

0:27:18.359 --> 0:27:22.560
<v Speaker 3>their monastery. He labors it's just another monk, just brother Eronistus,

0:27:22.960 --> 0:27:25.879
<v Speaker 3>And meanwhile he's working on his secret plan. But he's

0:27:25.960 --> 0:27:28.879
<v Speaker 3>like crazy Elizabeth, He's like the forty seven roner and

0:27:28.920 --> 0:27:31.399
<v Speaker 3>he takes his time, He like waits for it. So

0:27:31.600 --> 0:27:33.600
<v Speaker 3>this guy ends up waiting because he's got like, you know,

0:27:33.680 --> 0:27:36.760
<v Speaker 3>real devotion and patience because he's a monk. He waits

0:27:36.920 --> 0:27:41.560
<v Speaker 3>ten years to put his plan in emotion. Finally, Aeronistas

0:27:41.640 --> 0:27:44.880
<v Speaker 3>spends after a decade, working at this other monastery deep

0:27:44.920 --> 0:27:47.600
<v Speaker 3>cover the whole time. Yeah, he works his way up

0:27:47.640 --> 0:27:50.720
<v Speaker 3>the ladder till finally he's the one in charge of

0:27:50.760 --> 0:27:54.160
<v Speaker 3>the reliquary in the basilica. So now he's like, oh,

0:27:54.200 --> 0:27:56.800
<v Speaker 3>I can just take my pick right more I want.

0:27:57.119 --> 0:27:59.399
<v Speaker 3>But remember everyone's still fixated on same voice. He's like,

0:27:59.440 --> 0:28:01.440
<v Speaker 3>I to get a break off some saint FOI. So

0:28:01.680 --> 0:28:06.080
<v Speaker 3>this loyal brother monk Aeronistus biden his time. His treacherous

0:28:06.119 --> 0:28:09.440
<v Speaker 3>moment comes up right because as the guardian of the relics,

0:28:09.600 --> 0:28:12.000
<v Speaker 3>he's like, this is an act of providence, This is

0:28:12.119 --> 0:28:14.639
<v Speaker 3>proof that God wants me to do this. Sure he

0:28:14.680 --> 0:28:16.680
<v Speaker 3>comes to He's like, it's a sly wing from God.

0:28:16.720 --> 0:28:18.400
<v Speaker 3>God is basically saying, brother, you got this.

0:28:18.600 --> 0:28:19.479
<v Speaker 2>Oh I get it.

0:28:19.560 --> 0:28:23.679
<v Speaker 3>God, You're right, Angel's wings. You will float back to conks.

0:28:23.960 --> 0:28:26.440
<v Speaker 2>Think too, about like how impressed we get with criminals

0:28:26.480 --> 0:28:28.120
<v Speaker 2>who planned for like a month.

0:28:30.600 --> 0:28:34.560
<v Speaker 3>Working as a monk, just back breaking labor. So you know,

0:28:34.640 --> 0:28:37.760
<v Speaker 3>once aeronistas he's named the guardian of the Church of Treasure,

0:28:37.800 --> 0:28:40.960
<v Speaker 3>including Saint Foi's tomb, it seems the right moment to strike, right,

0:28:41.040 --> 0:28:43.200
<v Speaker 3>so strike he does. The date for his holy relic

0:28:43.280 --> 0:28:45.880
<v Speaker 3>theft is he picks the Feast of the Epiphany, because

0:28:45.880 --> 0:28:48.800
<v Speaker 3>remember he's like God's on the sage. Yes, he picks

0:28:48.920 --> 0:28:52.720
<v Speaker 3>January fourteenth, in the year eight sixty six. But rather

0:28:52.760 --> 0:28:54.160
<v Speaker 3>than me tell you about the theft of the skull

0:28:54.200 --> 0:28:56.920
<v Speaker 3>of Saint Foil, Elizabeth, close your eyes.

0:28:57.800 --> 0:29:05.720
<v Speaker 5>I want you to picture it.

0:29:05.720 --> 0:29:08.040
<v Speaker 3>It's a quiet night in the month of January the

0:29:08.120 --> 0:29:11.040
<v Speaker 3>year eight sixty six. When the sun rises, it'll be

0:29:11.040 --> 0:29:13.720
<v Speaker 3>the Feast of the Epiphany, a key holy day on

0:29:13.760 --> 0:29:16.720
<v Speaker 3>the calendar. But for now, it's still the small hours

0:29:16.720 --> 0:29:19.600
<v Speaker 3>of the morning when everyone in the abbey is asleep,

0:29:20.160 --> 0:29:24.360
<v Speaker 3>everyone but you, because you Elizabeth, are the criminally minded

0:29:24.400 --> 0:29:28.760
<v Speaker 3>monk Eronistus. Yes. Dressed in your sackcloth tunic, you creep

0:29:28.800 --> 0:29:32.040
<v Speaker 3>through the stone floored abbey, your open toaed leather sandals.

0:29:32.080 --> 0:29:34.720
<v Speaker 3>Take tentative steps, careful not to make too much noise

0:29:34.800 --> 0:29:37.400
<v Speaker 3>or any sort of rhythmic sound of walking that might

0:29:37.480 --> 0:29:38.120
<v Speaker 3>wake someone.

0:29:38.440 --> 0:29:41.520
<v Speaker 5>You creep along the corridor. You've waited not just days

0:29:41.600 --> 0:29:43.840
<v Speaker 5>or weeks or even months, You've waited years for this

0:29:44.000 --> 0:29:47.200
<v Speaker 5>fateful night to come, and now it's here, the night

0:29:47.240 --> 0:29:50.640
<v Speaker 5>you plan to steal the skull of Saint Foi. After

0:29:50.680 --> 0:29:53.240
<v Speaker 5>making your way from your personal chambers down the stone

0:29:53.240 --> 0:29:56.640
<v Speaker 5>walled and stone floored corridors, you finally arrive at the

0:29:56.680 --> 0:30:00.440
<v Speaker 5>marble Mausoleum, where the saint's skull is kept. You pause

0:30:00.480 --> 0:30:02.360
<v Speaker 5>a moment to make sure no one has followed you.

0:30:02.480 --> 0:30:05.360
<v Speaker 5>Hearing nothing but your own measured breathing, you decide to

0:30:05.400 --> 0:30:09.120
<v Speaker 5>go through with your plan. You've stolen a workman's hammer

0:30:09.200 --> 0:30:11.800
<v Speaker 5>and secret it away for your tonight's break in. You

0:30:11.840 --> 0:30:14.680
<v Speaker 5>pull the workman's hammer from your sackcloth tunic with a

0:30:14.720 --> 0:30:18.000
<v Speaker 5>tight grip. You take your first swing. The hammer strikes

0:30:18.000 --> 0:30:21.640
<v Speaker 5>the marble mausoleum it's louder than you hoped, but you

0:30:21.680 --> 0:30:23.560
<v Speaker 5>have an answer for that. You pull out a length

0:30:23.600 --> 0:30:26.560
<v Speaker 5>of wool and place that folded over against the marble

0:30:26.640 --> 0:30:29.360
<v Speaker 5>to dampen the sound of your hammer strikes, and then

0:30:29.600 --> 0:30:32.720
<v Speaker 5>you strike again. A small crack forms in the marble.

0:30:32.880 --> 0:30:37.000
<v Speaker 5>You strike again, and again the crack grows. A few

0:30:37.000 --> 0:30:39.640
<v Speaker 5>more hammer strikes, and you break through the marble. The

0:30:39.680 --> 0:30:42.560
<v Speaker 5>hole is just large enough to squeeze your hand through.

0:30:42.960 --> 0:30:45.920
<v Speaker 5>You feel around and you find the skull of the

0:30:46.000 --> 0:30:49.240
<v Speaker 5>deer departed saint. You retrieve it and then drop the

0:30:49.240 --> 0:30:52.880
<v Speaker 5>skull into a small sack you're brought with you. You listen

0:30:52.920 --> 0:30:56.000
<v Speaker 5>again to hear if anyone's coming, if anyone's heard your

0:30:56.000 --> 0:30:59.360
<v Speaker 5>hammer strikes once again, You're breathing is all you can hear.

0:31:00.480 --> 0:31:03.480
<v Speaker 5>You walk off, hoping like hell no surprises are waiting

0:31:03.520 --> 0:31:06.400
<v Speaker 5>for you outside. When you reach the walls of the abbey,

0:31:06.480 --> 0:31:09.240
<v Speaker 5>you sneak out and you find no one is waiting.

0:31:09.520 --> 0:31:12.280
<v Speaker 5>You've gotten away with it so far. Now you need

0:31:12.320 --> 0:31:14.640
<v Speaker 5>to escape the town of Ojin and make your way

0:31:14.640 --> 0:31:17.320
<v Speaker 5>back to Konk's. In the dark and quiet of the night,

0:31:17.400 --> 0:31:20.480
<v Speaker 5>you walk off the woods that surround the abbey best

0:31:20.480 --> 0:31:22.680
<v Speaker 5>to avoid the roads even at this hour of night.

0:31:23.080 --> 0:31:26.160
<v Speaker 5>You walk for hours, You cross both hill and dale,

0:31:26.600 --> 0:31:30.000
<v Speaker 5>dark woods, dewy meadows. When the sun rises and the

0:31:30.000 --> 0:31:32.560
<v Speaker 5>bird song begins, you say a little prayer that the

0:31:32.680 --> 0:31:36.400
<v Speaker 5>Lord and Saint Foix will both see you through. You

0:31:36.480 --> 0:31:39.120
<v Speaker 5>decide to chance your luck and use the road to Conks.

0:31:39.520 --> 0:31:42.280
<v Speaker 5>At this hour of the day, it wouldn't be surprising

0:31:42.320 --> 0:31:43.600
<v Speaker 5>to see a monk out walking.

0:31:43.960 --> 0:31:46.200
<v Speaker 3>After an hour or so on the road to Conk,

0:31:46.600 --> 0:31:49.920
<v Speaker 3>you estimate your halfway there, you see a stand of

0:31:49.960 --> 0:31:52.680
<v Speaker 3>trees with a shady spot, perfect for a short rest.

0:31:53.000 --> 0:31:55.360
<v Speaker 3>You rest your feet and weary body for a moment.

0:31:55.400 --> 0:31:58.000
<v Speaker 3>In the shade of the glade of trees. You sip

0:31:58.080 --> 0:32:01.000
<v Speaker 3>water from a pig bladder, and that's when you hear

0:32:01.040 --> 0:32:03.480
<v Speaker 3>a sound that gives you a chill of nerves. It's

0:32:03.520 --> 0:32:06.440
<v Speaker 3>the rhythm of horses galloping towards you from behind. You

0:32:06.520 --> 0:32:08.760
<v Speaker 3>decide not to look up, and instead you keep resting.

0:32:08.800 --> 0:32:11.760
<v Speaker 3>You can hear the horses drawn closer, closer, so finally

0:32:12.000 --> 0:32:14.320
<v Speaker 3>they're right on top of you. And that's when you

0:32:14.320 --> 0:32:16.920
<v Speaker 3>hear the horses slow from a gallop to a trot

0:32:17.280 --> 0:32:20.640
<v Speaker 3>and finally a slow walk. The horse's breathing feels like

0:32:20.680 --> 0:32:23.400
<v Speaker 3>it's right there above you, and you hear a man

0:32:23.520 --> 0:32:24.040
<v Speaker 3>greet you.

0:32:24.320 --> 0:32:24.600
<v Speaker 2>Monk.

0:32:25.240 --> 0:32:27.160
<v Speaker 3>You look up and you spy what can only be

0:32:27.360 --> 0:32:29.440
<v Speaker 3>a search party. The men look like the sort of

0:32:29.520 --> 0:32:31.920
<v Speaker 3>ruffians and scoundrels that the church pays to do their

0:32:32.000 --> 0:32:35.840
<v Speaker 3>rough business. The lead ruffian eyes you suspiciously. He asks

0:32:35.840 --> 0:32:38.000
<v Speaker 3>where you're coming from. You tell them the truth and

0:32:38.040 --> 0:32:41.240
<v Speaker 3>say ajin. The ruffian asks where you're headed again, you

0:32:41.320 --> 0:32:44.720
<v Speaker 3>tell the truth. You reply, kanks, You're thankful that none

0:32:44.720 --> 0:32:47.960
<v Speaker 3>of the ruffians and scoundrels seem to recognize you. Inside

0:32:47.960 --> 0:32:51.280
<v Speaker 3>your chest, your heart pounds against your ribcage. You pray

0:32:51.440 --> 0:32:54.760
<v Speaker 3>the men can't hear it. The lead ruffians, still suspiciously

0:32:54.840 --> 0:32:57.560
<v Speaker 3>eyeing you, ask what business do you have in kok?

0:32:58.280 --> 0:33:00.360
<v Speaker 3>Here you have to deviate from your true but not

0:33:00.440 --> 0:33:03.880
<v Speaker 3>by much. You reply, I am expected at the monastery

0:33:03.920 --> 0:33:07.040
<v Speaker 3>and conque you meet with the abbot about such business.

0:33:07.240 --> 0:33:09.640
<v Speaker 3>The lead ruffian asks, Monk, gives your travels, have you

0:33:09.680 --> 0:33:14.200
<v Speaker 3>seen any thief, perhaps thieves on this same road? A thief?

0:33:14.280 --> 0:33:16.960
<v Speaker 3>You ask, as innocence you can pretend to be no,

0:33:17.320 --> 0:33:19.360
<v Speaker 3>I have not seen many men on this road. Should

0:33:19.360 --> 0:33:22.360
<v Speaker 3>I be worried. The lead ruffian laughs at that thought.

0:33:22.880 --> 0:33:26.400
<v Speaker 3>What could you possibly have to steal a monk? Yes, indeed,

0:33:26.480 --> 0:33:29.000
<v Speaker 3>you reply, without a trace of emotion in your voice,

0:33:29.040 --> 0:33:31.880
<v Speaker 3>just moral certainty. The lead ruffian gives you a once

0:33:31.920 --> 0:33:34.960
<v Speaker 3>over once more, scrutinizing you for any sign you might

0:33:35.000 --> 0:33:38.600
<v Speaker 3>be lying or not saying what you should be saying.

0:33:38.640 --> 0:33:41.520
<v Speaker 3>As he stares into you, searching for any flicker of guilt,

0:33:41.840 --> 0:33:44.720
<v Speaker 3>you give him the well practiced, flat affect of a

0:33:44.800 --> 0:33:48.080
<v Speaker 3>monk whose concerns are not of this earth. When he's

0:33:48.080 --> 0:33:50.600
<v Speaker 3>done giving you the once over, he seems satisfied. Wait

0:33:50.680 --> 0:33:53.520
<v Speaker 3>ride on, the lead ruffian exclaims to his men, and

0:33:53.560 --> 0:33:56.120
<v Speaker 3>with that the search party rides off down the dusty

0:33:56.240 --> 0:33:58.920
<v Speaker 3>dirt road, and their dust cloud falls away. You can

0:33:59.040 --> 0:34:03.000
<v Speaker 3>no longer see them nor hear them. You exhale your nervousness,

0:34:03.440 --> 0:34:06.240
<v Speaker 3>say another little prayer to the Lord and to Saint

0:34:06.320 --> 0:34:09.880
<v Speaker 3>FOI for protecting you on this holy mission. You grab

0:34:09.920 --> 0:34:12.120
<v Speaker 3>the little sack you have secreted underneath you, and you

0:34:12.160 --> 0:34:14.440
<v Speaker 3>once again start on your way to Conk.

0:34:15.480 --> 0:34:15.960
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

0:34:16.160 --> 0:34:17.080
<v Speaker 3>There you go, Elizabeth.

0:34:17.600 --> 0:34:18.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm very proud of you.

0:34:18.600 --> 0:34:21.600
<v Speaker 3>Just pulled off the successful theft of the skull of Saint.

0:34:21.320 --> 0:34:22.719
<v Speaker 2>Foil Did it, guys? I did it?

0:34:22.760 --> 0:34:26.080
<v Speaker 3>Way to go eronistus. Now your favor walk to Conks

0:34:26.200 --> 0:34:28.680
<v Speaker 3>is not without more drama because recall that the holy

0:34:28.719 --> 0:34:31.319
<v Speaker 3>relics of Saint Foid, notably her skull, were known to

0:34:31.360 --> 0:34:34.800
<v Speaker 3>perform miracles. You mentioned them curing blindness. Well, that's exactly

0:34:34.800 --> 0:34:37.319
<v Speaker 3>what happened on the road to Conker. In the town

0:34:37.400 --> 0:34:40.960
<v Speaker 3>of Thijak, the monk Ernists he stops to eat skull

0:34:41.080 --> 0:34:44.080
<v Speaker 3>Saint Foi reportedly heals this blind man, restores his site.

0:34:44.360 --> 0:34:46.520
<v Speaker 3>Boom boom boom. Right, this is just one of the

0:34:46.560 --> 0:34:49.040
<v Speaker 3>many miracles that her skull would go on to perform

0:34:49.120 --> 0:34:51.799
<v Speaker 3>through our sainted body part. And eventually, when this monk

0:34:51.840 --> 0:34:54.359
<v Speaker 3>Aernistas he draws close to Conk's the other monks had

0:34:54.360 --> 0:34:56.480
<v Speaker 3>come rushing out to greet them. Now did you get

0:34:56.480 --> 0:34:59.000
<v Speaker 3>the holy skull of Saint Foi? Then they all travel

0:34:59.040 --> 0:35:02.359
<v Speaker 3>back to the monastery where they set up a new reliquary. Now,

0:35:02.400 --> 0:35:05.520
<v Speaker 3>if you're wondering how a bunch of monks could rationalize

0:35:05.520 --> 0:35:07.879
<v Speaker 3>the theft of this holy relic from another group of monks,

0:35:07.960 --> 0:35:09.719
<v Speaker 3>like yeah, no, no God wants us. This is like

0:35:09.840 --> 0:35:12.200
<v Speaker 3>what's their head been made? Justification? Well, the idea at

0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:15.800
<v Speaker 3>the time was Saint Foi herself gave her holy permission

0:35:16.080 --> 0:35:18.040
<v Speaker 3>for her skull to be stolen and moved to a

0:35:18.080 --> 0:35:21.439
<v Speaker 3>new sanctuary, because you know, like, did she appear before

0:35:21.480 --> 0:35:23.879
<v Speaker 3>the monks and give a vision and her blessing? Did

0:35:23.880 --> 0:35:26.800
<v Speaker 3>she communicate like through a dream? Yeah, great question, Elizabeth.

0:35:26.800 --> 0:35:29.000
<v Speaker 3>The answer is no, no way simpler than that. The

0:35:29.120 --> 0:35:32.799
<v Speaker 3>argument was the saint gives their implied blessing for their

0:35:32.840 --> 0:35:35.640
<v Speaker 3>holy relics to be moved and relocated if you're successful,

0:35:36.080 --> 0:35:38.080
<v Speaker 3>like because the same Foy would obviously not want the

0:35:38.120 --> 0:35:40.759
<v Speaker 3>monks to steal her skull, so she would oppose them,

0:35:40.800 --> 0:35:42.840
<v Speaker 3>and if they get away with its evidence that she

0:35:42.960 --> 0:35:46.000
<v Speaker 3>wants them to be the new guardians in Custodia.

0:35:46.160 --> 0:35:49.120
<v Speaker 2>Interesting you say that mine proved. I'd been thinking that,

0:35:49.239 --> 0:35:52.279
<v Speaker 2>like when he rips her head off and shoves it

0:35:52.320 --> 0:35:55.439
<v Speaker 2>in a bag, Like, how many indignities does this young

0:35:55.480 --> 0:35:58.759
<v Speaker 2>girl have to go through her short life and afterlife?

0:35:58.880 --> 0:35:59.160
<v Speaker 3>Yes?

0:35:59.320 --> 0:36:02.080
<v Speaker 2>And then I'm thinking, well, I guess if you become

0:36:02.120 --> 0:36:07.480
<v Speaker 2>a saint, if you're sanctified, you know that your body

0:36:07.560 --> 0:36:11.320
<v Speaker 2>isn't your own after that? And is it really ever yours?

0:36:11.480 --> 0:36:12.839
<v Speaker 2>Is it? What I mean? It is always yours when

0:36:12.880 --> 0:36:15.839
<v Speaker 2>you're alive, but after death, like what do you care

0:36:15.880 --> 0:36:19.440
<v Speaker 2>you're not there? Yeah, So I just think it's interesting

0:36:19.480 --> 0:36:25.000
<v Speaker 2>that because of their status as a saint, people aren't

0:36:25.040 --> 0:36:30.239
<v Speaker 2>thinking of any kind of proper handling or become a

0:36:30.280 --> 0:36:34.200
<v Speaker 2>thing dignified burials. It's yeah, you're you go beyond that.

0:36:34.280 --> 0:36:36.840
<v Speaker 2>You're an object and you're a tool of the faith

0:36:36.880 --> 0:36:39.799
<v Speaker 2>and of the church, and you know, besides you you

0:36:39.880 --> 0:36:42.239
<v Speaker 2>know what indignity is. Let's just keep it rolling, you

0:36:42.280 --> 0:36:44.000
<v Speaker 2>know how to how to face it?

0:36:44.080 --> 0:36:48.320
<v Speaker 3>May just sat in terms of like like holy keepsakes.

0:36:48.640 --> 0:36:50.759
<v Speaker 3>Conks also that they were famous for a bunch of

0:36:50.800 --> 0:36:53.400
<v Speaker 3>other major holy relics, like, for instance, they were the

0:36:53.440 --> 0:36:56.080
<v Speaker 3>home to the arm of Saint George the dragon slayer.

0:36:56.239 --> 0:36:58.000
<v Speaker 2>Wait, they already had these or they had to go

0:36:58.000 --> 0:36:59.360
<v Speaker 2>get them after editor.

0:36:59.200 --> 0:37:00.719
<v Speaker 3>Right a little bit later around the same time, like

0:37:00.760 --> 0:37:05.040
<v Speaker 3>by eleven hundred a blood. Yeah, the exact arm that

0:37:05.080 --> 0:37:07.480
<v Speaker 3>Saint George used to slay the dragon. That's the one

0:37:07.560 --> 0:37:10.800
<v Speaker 3>the actually there it is, so yeah, anyway, it was

0:37:10.840 --> 0:37:12.799
<v Speaker 3>the skull of same foy that put Conks on the map.

0:37:13.040 --> 0:37:15.719
<v Speaker 3>Have to attract bigger holy relics. Right. They also had

0:37:15.800 --> 0:37:18.759
<v Speaker 3>Charlemagne's A. He had apparently he had a letter. He

0:37:18.800 --> 0:37:21.920
<v Speaker 3>had a golden alphabet created twenty four letters because the

0:37:22.080 --> 0:37:24.520
<v Speaker 3>used to be and the eyes of the jets, so

0:37:24.640 --> 0:37:27.080
<v Speaker 3>he had in Latin. So he had four twenty six.

0:37:27.400 --> 0:37:30.000
<v Speaker 3>They had the A, and all the rest are disappeared.

0:37:30.040 --> 0:37:31.400
<v Speaker 3>No one had No one knows where any of them

0:37:31.480 --> 0:37:37.120
<v Speaker 3>except for that day anyway. So so once the guys

0:37:37.120 --> 0:37:38.600
<v Speaker 3>get there, the monks are there, they're like, what are

0:37:38.600 --> 0:37:40.560
<v Speaker 3>we going to do for the reliquary? For like, how

0:37:40.560 --> 0:37:44.120
<v Speaker 3>do we honor Saint Foix? So they make this one.

0:37:44.520 --> 0:37:47.839
<v Speaker 3>It attracts like it's it's beautiful, right, and they you know,

0:37:47.920 --> 0:37:50.840
<v Speaker 3>it's it's built to make it look like a warrior

0:37:51.040 --> 0:37:53.799
<v Speaker 3>or you know, like a strong pose, if you will.

0:37:53.920 --> 0:37:57.880
<v Speaker 3>So at this point, uh, they start to attract pilgrims

0:37:57.880 --> 0:37:59.880
<v Speaker 3>and they're talking like you know, usually knights on their

0:38:00.120 --> 0:38:02.520
<v Speaker 3>to like to say, like the Crusades and stuff. My

0:38:02.680 --> 0:38:05.320
<v Speaker 3>favorite story of a blessing handed out by Saint Foid

0:38:05.400 --> 0:38:08.200
<v Speaker 3>involves a knight. He came to Conk's. He was seeking

0:38:08.239 --> 0:38:12.080
<v Speaker 3>healing and like relief, but for his herniated scrotum.

0:38:12.320 --> 0:38:15.239
<v Speaker 2>No Elizabeth, he's not covered on her patronage.

0:38:15.480 --> 0:38:16.920
<v Speaker 3>His balls were in a bind. He didn't know what

0:38:16.960 --> 0:38:19.080
<v Speaker 3>who to turn to. So he has this vision of

0:38:19.120 --> 0:38:21.800
<v Speaker 3>Saint Foid. She's like, yo, come to my to my

0:38:21.880 --> 0:38:24.960
<v Speaker 3>memorial and and like, you know, we'll fix that herniated sad.

0:38:25.080 --> 0:38:28.000
<v Speaker 3>So the Night travels to Conk's. Once there, he receives

0:38:28.040 --> 0:38:30.560
<v Speaker 3>a vision of Saint Foi and she instructs the Night

0:38:30.600 --> 0:38:34.000
<v Speaker 3>that he needs to find a blacksmith and once located,

0:38:34.040 --> 0:38:36.239
<v Speaker 3>he needs to ask the blacksmith to heat up a

0:38:36.280 --> 0:38:39.400
<v Speaker 3>hammer and then smash his testicles with the hammer, and

0:38:39.480 --> 0:38:43.520
<v Speaker 3>that would relieve his suffering. Yeah, I'm not making this up,

0:38:43.560 --> 0:38:46.880
<v Speaker 3>I swear to God. Sorry. He has his vigeon. So

0:38:46.960 --> 0:38:49.520
<v Speaker 3>he goes around Conks looking for a blacksmith and he

0:38:49.560 --> 0:38:52.120
<v Speaker 3>gets someone to hit him in the balls with a hammer.

0:38:52.360 --> 0:38:54.520
<v Speaker 3>And if you can believe it, like when he's like,

0:38:54.800 --> 0:38:56.960
<v Speaker 3>you know, he's uh, you know, fully at the idea

0:38:57.000 --> 0:38:59.480
<v Speaker 3>that smashing his balls with a blacksmith hammer will heal

0:38:59.560 --> 0:39:02.680
<v Speaker 3>his pain. He's convinced this will be a miracle. So,

0:39:03.080 --> 0:39:04.160
<v Speaker 3>you know, active faith.

0:39:03.920 --> 0:39:08.000
<v Speaker 2>Elizabeth a different plane with that pain, he can't.

0:39:07.800 --> 0:39:10.680
<v Speaker 3>Doubt a saint, the saints, your balls with a hammer.

0:39:10.719 --> 0:39:13.480
<v Speaker 3>It's gonna cure your pain. He's like, I gotta do it,

0:39:13.560 --> 0:39:15.399
<v Speaker 3>So try to imagine it. You have this medieval knight

0:39:15.480 --> 0:39:17.959
<v Speaker 3>seated on his horse. He's hired a blacksmith. He's heating

0:39:18.040 --> 0:39:19.279
<v Speaker 3>up his hammer theeric you.

0:39:19.200 --> 0:39:22.919
<v Speaker 2>Know it's at white yea yeah.

0:39:22.920 --> 0:39:24.920
<v Speaker 3>And so once his white hot, he's like smashed me

0:39:24.960 --> 0:39:28.000
<v Speaker 3>in in the sack, and just like Saint Fad told

0:39:28.040 --> 0:39:30.279
<v Speaker 3>me to do. The blacksmith's is like, just wear I

0:39:30.320 --> 0:39:33.120
<v Speaker 3>will not to be punished for smacking you. Most tend

0:39:33.120 --> 0:39:35.440
<v Speaker 3>to sack with my hammer, and the Knight's like, no,

0:39:35.480 --> 0:39:37.160
<v Speaker 3>you shall not be punished for doing the work of

0:39:37.200 --> 0:39:40.680
<v Speaker 3>the low. Now strike me in my ailing balls, right,

0:39:40.760 --> 0:39:44.080
<v Speaker 3>So the blacksmith winds up he brings that hammer down, Elizabeth,

0:39:44.280 --> 0:39:47.560
<v Speaker 3>But just before the hammer meets balls, the knight faints

0:39:47.600 --> 0:39:50.160
<v Speaker 3>falls off the horse. I'm like, sumps off the back

0:39:50.200 --> 0:39:52.279
<v Speaker 3>of the saddle, right, yeah, falls off the horse, and

0:39:52.320 --> 0:39:55.239
<v Speaker 3>according to the legend, the impact of the fall from

0:39:55.239 --> 0:39:59.399
<v Speaker 3>the horse cured his HARNI hated sack scrolled him. So yeah,

0:39:59.440 --> 0:40:04.759
<v Speaker 3>you go me cicle, Elizabeth. Wow, yeah, but I thought

0:40:04.760 --> 0:40:05.759
<v Speaker 3>you'd enjoy that take.

0:40:07.120 --> 0:40:09.560
<v Speaker 2>It's gonna come to a twelve year old girl and say,

0:40:09.600 --> 0:40:12.400
<v Speaker 2>heal my private part. So he said, so she's like,

0:40:12.480 --> 0:40:14.560
<v Speaker 2>I know how you can do it. Set a hot hammer,

0:40:14.760 --> 0:40:18.560
<v Speaker 2>and then oh darn it. And Mary is looking down

0:40:18.600 --> 0:40:21.680
<v Speaker 2>and like, girl, I told you you stopped telling them

0:40:21.680 --> 0:40:26.239
<v Speaker 2>to times and then stop it. Okay, okay, okay, let's

0:40:26.239 --> 0:40:27.120
<v Speaker 2>take a little break.

0:40:27.480 --> 0:40:29.520
<v Speaker 3>We'll let that last one ping pong around and your

0:40:29.600 --> 0:40:32.759
<v Speaker 3>unsanctified skull, and when we're back, we'll dive into the

0:40:32.800 --> 0:40:58.479
<v Speaker 3>long strange practice of relic that we're back. You ready

0:40:58.480 --> 0:41:01.680
<v Speaker 3>for more medieval madness holy crimes. Yeah, it's like a

0:41:01.680 --> 0:41:05.880
<v Speaker 3>Smurfs episode over here. It's for our next tale. More

0:41:05.960 --> 0:41:08.040
<v Speaker 3>than just nabbing a single holy relic, I want to

0:41:08.040 --> 0:41:09.400
<v Speaker 3>tell you the story of a pair of duns who

0:41:09.400 --> 0:41:13.040
<v Speaker 3>decided to steal the whole damn convent, all the relics inside.

0:41:13.040 --> 0:41:15.320
<v Speaker 3>We'll take them all, Okay, the whole damn building.

0:41:15.560 --> 0:41:15.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:41:15.920 --> 0:41:18.960
<v Speaker 3>Now, imagine France in the days of the Maravingian dynasty.

0:41:19.000 --> 0:41:21.680
<v Speaker 3>I mentioned them earlier, So we're talking late sixth century,

0:41:21.760 --> 0:41:24.640
<v Speaker 3>so circa five eighty eight, five eighty nine, and we're

0:41:24.680 --> 0:41:26.920
<v Speaker 3>in Gaul which would later be called France. Because we're

0:41:26.960 --> 0:41:30.520
<v Speaker 3>before the Frankish Empire's really taken over the area, Like

0:41:30.560 --> 0:41:33.759
<v Speaker 3>there's no Charlotte's time. Then it's eight hundred, right. So

0:41:34.480 --> 0:41:37.120
<v Speaker 3>our story takes place at the Convent of Saint Croix

0:41:37.160 --> 0:41:41.319
<v Speaker 3>in the city of Poitiers, and our heroines are two princesses.

0:41:41.840 --> 0:41:45.400
<v Speaker 3>There was Princess Clotilde. She was a Frankish royalty like

0:41:45.560 --> 0:41:48.040
<v Speaker 3>the early progenitors of the family before they'd really made

0:41:48.080 --> 0:41:50.200
<v Speaker 3>their name, right, but they were they were doing it.

0:41:50.280 --> 0:41:52.960
<v Speaker 3>I mean they were like aristocratic, but they weren't nothing coming.

0:41:53.040 --> 0:41:54.879
<v Speaker 2>They weren't like more people were talking about.

0:41:54.960 --> 0:41:56.799
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, they weren't like you should name the country after us.

0:41:56.920 --> 0:41:59.920
<v Speaker 3>It wasn't that level yet, right. So she was the illegiti,

0:42:00.160 --> 0:42:03.799
<v Speaker 3>a child of King Sharabey of the Maravingian dynasty, so

0:42:04.040 --> 0:42:07.200
<v Speaker 3>legit king. But he didn't have a child with a

0:42:07.280 --> 0:42:10.200
<v Speaker 3>queen or like some kind of like second wife. No,

0:42:10.480 --> 0:42:14.319
<v Speaker 3>it was his side piece, a wool carter's daughter, okay, right,

0:42:14.400 --> 0:42:16.319
<v Speaker 3>so who he fancied, you know, he liked her, it

0:42:16.360 --> 0:42:18.920
<v Speaker 3>wasn't you know. So her mother was lowborn though, so

0:42:19.000 --> 0:42:21.640
<v Speaker 3>Clotild had no claims on the royal life, right. But

0:42:21.680 --> 0:42:23.680
<v Speaker 3>she gets raised at first in the castle so she

0:42:23.840 --> 0:42:26.280
<v Speaker 3>learned some lessons. But then soon enough, once she starts

0:42:26.280 --> 0:42:28.359
<v Speaker 3>to become like a threat, she sent away to live

0:42:28.400 --> 0:42:31.360
<v Speaker 3>in a convent. Right now, the bishop and the chronicler

0:42:31.360 --> 0:42:33.440
<v Speaker 3>of this early Middle aged period that we rely a

0:42:33.480 --> 0:42:36.319
<v Speaker 3>lot for this story is Gregory of Tours right now.

0:42:36.400 --> 0:42:39.040
<v Speaker 3>He knew Clotild personally, and he described her as having

0:42:39.120 --> 0:42:42.080
<v Speaker 3>like heirs. He's like, oh, she she kind of yeah,

0:42:42.120 --> 0:42:44.840
<v Speaker 3>she thinks she's cute. So he's like, you know, basically

0:42:44.880 --> 0:42:46.520
<v Speaker 3>she has the additive of a princess, but none of

0:42:46.520 --> 0:42:48.840
<v Speaker 3>the wealth or privilege. Let's help with her. Why she

0:42:48.880 --> 0:42:51.960
<v Speaker 3>acted so crazy? He directly said that she was quote

0:42:52.200 --> 0:42:54.759
<v Speaker 3>swollen up with boastfulness. I don't know why I made

0:42:54.760 --> 0:42:59.360
<v Speaker 3>a British. But then there was her cousin, Princess Besina.

0:42:59.640 --> 0:43:03.520
<v Speaker 3>That she was the daughter of King Chilperic and his

0:43:03.560 --> 0:43:07.319
<v Speaker 3>wife all du Vieira right ord Vera. Now, starting at

0:43:07.320 --> 0:43:09.920
<v Speaker 3>an early age, she loses her claim to royal life. First,

0:43:09.920 --> 0:43:12.800
<v Speaker 3>her ancestral lands are stolen from her at age seven.

0:43:12.840 --> 0:43:17.120
<v Speaker 3>Her new stepmother, this woman named fred Leagund. She she's

0:43:17.160 --> 0:43:19.279
<v Speaker 3>like the third wife of the king, and she's like,

0:43:19.320 --> 0:43:21.640
<v Speaker 3>you know, I'm bumping up the list, so she gets

0:43:21.719 --> 0:43:24.320
<v Speaker 3>the first and second like sent to the distant places.

0:43:24.760 --> 0:43:28.000
<v Speaker 3>So she because Marravinking kings could have multiple wives, Okay,

0:43:28.120 --> 0:43:30.799
<v Speaker 3>so right, it's like totally legit, totally cool, totally like,

0:43:31.200 --> 0:43:34.160
<v Speaker 3>so she wants to be number one wife. So she's like,

0:43:34.200 --> 0:43:36.440
<v Speaker 3>you know, I hear there's like a plague going on

0:43:36.640 --> 0:43:39.319
<v Speaker 3>in this other town. So she's like, like, how's Arles, right,

0:43:39.360 --> 0:43:42.200
<v Speaker 3>So she sends her to this town that's having a plague.

0:43:42.200 --> 0:43:45.120
<v Speaker 3>The king doesn't apparently know this, right, but the plague

0:43:45.160 --> 0:43:47.799
<v Speaker 3>is just rampaging this town. So she hoped that would

0:43:47.840 --> 0:43:50.879
<v Speaker 3>wipe her out. That doesn't do it, right, So then

0:43:50.920 --> 0:43:52.920
<v Speaker 3>she like, I was like, okay, She's like, now like

0:43:53.120 --> 0:43:55.439
<v Speaker 3>a Disney villain, right, She's like, okay, let me hire

0:43:55.480 --> 0:43:58.560
<v Speaker 3>some mercenary soldiers. So she like hires emotion and she

0:43:58.600 --> 0:44:00.959
<v Speaker 3>sends them to go kill Princess Sina and her mother

0:44:01.000 --> 0:44:03.800
<v Speaker 3>and her siblings. And let's just say I'll skip to

0:44:03.840 --> 0:44:07.239
<v Speaker 3>the chase. Things got hell of medieval Elizabeth in not

0:44:07.320 --> 0:44:10.000
<v Speaker 3>the Disney way, right, like ugly, bloody, it was bad.

0:44:10.200 --> 0:44:11.759
<v Speaker 3>We'll leave it at that because I want to keep

0:44:11.760 --> 0:44:15.600
<v Speaker 3>this from being another official situation. My point is Elizabeth

0:44:15.640 --> 0:44:20.640
<v Speaker 3>Princess Messina. She survives the assassination attempt, not everyone does, wow,

0:44:20.880 --> 0:44:23.280
<v Speaker 3>but she now loses her claim on her essessterral lens

0:44:23.320 --> 0:44:27.520
<v Speaker 3>officially right, because she cannot actually claim them. So she's

0:44:27.560 --> 0:44:29.960
<v Speaker 3>sent to live in the convent in Saint Carale with

0:44:30.000 --> 0:44:32.960
<v Speaker 3>her cousin, Princess Clotilde, and they both find their way

0:44:33.000 --> 0:44:39.400
<v Speaker 3>there too, broken, shamed, you know, ostracized princesses. Now, I

0:44:39.400 --> 0:44:41.840
<v Speaker 3>don't know what you know about life and a convent

0:44:41.880 --> 0:44:45.040
<v Speaker 3>in the year five eighty nine, but it was not plush,

0:44:45.440 --> 0:44:47.480
<v Speaker 3>I imagine. In fact, I go so far as to

0:44:47.520 --> 0:44:50.600
<v Speaker 3>say it was bleak. It smelled like wet wool, and

0:44:51.040 --> 0:44:54.360
<v Speaker 3>you know you're wearing handmade clothing and probably muddy leather shoes.

0:44:55.160 --> 0:44:56.840
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah. And by the way, everything smells like pigs

0:44:56.840 --> 0:45:00.040
<v Speaker 3>and chicken, so there's that as well. Smells you. We

0:45:00.120 --> 0:45:03.440
<v Speaker 3>ask former Princess Bessina and her cousin, Princess Clotilde, and

0:45:03.480 --> 0:45:06.000
<v Speaker 3>they would tell you life in a convent in gaul

0:45:06.120 --> 0:45:08.600
<v Speaker 3>in the year five eighty nine was punctuated by and

0:45:08.719 --> 0:45:14.160
<v Speaker 3>I quote, starvation, nakedness, and above all beatings. Oh yeah,

0:45:15.800 --> 0:45:18.840
<v Speaker 3>oh yeah, of course, when there's a hierarchy, yeah, that's true.

0:45:19.000 --> 0:45:21.400
<v Speaker 3>So it basically in a convent, in the power structure,

0:45:21.520 --> 0:45:23.920
<v Speaker 3>it can be just as hierarchical as anywhere else. Right,

0:45:23.960 --> 0:45:25.840
<v Speaker 3>So once you get power consolidated at the top, like

0:45:25.880 --> 0:45:28.960
<v Speaker 3>a mother superior in this case an abbess, that person

0:45:28.960 --> 0:45:31.160
<v Speaker 3>can act like a tyrant, which she did. So Saint

0:45:31.239 --> 0:45:36.120
<v Speaker 3>Croix is run by this abbess, lubou Vira, and she's

0:45:36.760 --> 0:45:38.960
<v Speaker 3>she's like a total tire, right, So according to these

0:45:39.000 --> 0:45:41.920
<v Speaker 3>two princesses, she's also a little bit weird. And she

0:45:42.040 --> 0:45:45.680
<v Speaker 3>was allegedly inviting what they called strange men into the

0:45:45.800 --> 0:45:48.080
<v Speaker 3>cloistered convent to hook up with some of the nuns

0:45:48.600 --> 0:45:50.400
<v Speaker 3>and the hopes that they would get the nuns pregnant,

0:45:50.520 --> 0:45:53.560
<v Speaker 3>and so she kept these also she kept this other

0:45:53.640 --> 0:45:56.239
<v Speaker 3>man chained up in the basement of the convent. That's

0:45:56.239 --> 0:45:56.759
<v Speaker 3>what they were telling.

0:45:58.000 --> 0:46:01.279
<v Speaker 2>By the way, it's getting weird what chained updowns, Right,

0:46:01.360 --> 0:46:02.040
<v Speaker 2>So the in.

0:46:02.040 --> 0:46:04.359
<v Speaker 3>These folks in Gauls in the five hundreds, they were

0:46:04.400 --> 0:46:06.359
<v Speaker 3>like really getting super medieval with it, like we got

0:46:06.400 --> 0:46:08.560
<v Speaker 3>to do like chained up in our basis. Yeah, like

0:46:08.680 --> 0:46:11.040
<v Speaker 3>like you know how we're gonna make the the image.

0:46:11.400 --> 0:46:13.480
<v Speaker 3>You're the ones doing the thing where you're gonna reference

0:46:13.520 --> 0:46:16.239
<v Speaker 3>we're going to talk about in turies, Yes, exactly. So

0:46:16.480 --> 0:46:19.440
<v Speaker 3>this abbess, as I said, Tyrant, So these two princesses

0:46:19.440 --> 0:46:21.400
<v Speaker 3>have become kind of the anti heroes, right, They're like,

0:46:21.400 --> 0:46:24.239
<v Speaker 3>I don't endure this abuse, man, I'm not gonna take this.

0:46:24.440 --> 0:46:24.800
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:46:24.840 --> 0:46:26.960
<v Speaker 3>So and as I said in Gaulish France, it's just

0:46:27.040 --> 0:46:28.920
<v Speaker 3>a lot of abuse. And in the days of the

0:46:28.960 --> 0:46:32.520
<v Speaker 3>Maravnkian dynasty, social abuse like this and mistreatment they were

0:46:32.560 --> 0:46:35.200
<v Speaker 3>interpreted as a form of violence, just the same as

0:46:35.239 --> 0:46:38.440
<v Speaker 3>if you've been slapped. Sure, so they respond in kind.

0:46:38.760 --> 0:46:39.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:46:39.280 --> 0:46:41.800
<v Speaker 3>So after being mistreated for long enough, Princess Bessine and

0:46:41.840 --> 0:46:44.799
<v Speaker 3>Princess Cotel they start a rebellion at the convent. They're like,

0:46:44.840 --> 0:46:48.200
<v Speaker 3>let's take arms, right, so it's a legit ups rising.

0:46:48.280 --> 0:46:50.840
<v Speaker 3>They get like forty nuns to back them. This is

0:46:50.880 --> 0:46:53.080
<v Speaker 3>a big convent, Like you know, that's enough that it's

0:46:53.160 --> 0:46:54.960
<v Speaker 3>like not it's a little a little bit less than

0:46:55.000 --> 0:46:57.480
<v Speaker 3>like say half the population or third population, but.

0:46:57.480 --> 0:46:59.720
<v Speaker 2>You can overthrow it pretty easily, exactly.

0:46:59.719 --> 0:47:01.840
<v Speaker 3>But it's a big that's a lot of nuns. Anyway,

0:47:02.480 --> 0:47:05.000
<v Speaker 3>in the year five eighty nine, they reject the authority

0:47:05.000 --> 0:47:09.200
<v Speaker 3>of Abbess Lubuvira and uh they formally announced their reprising

0:47:09.239 --> 0:47:12.319
<v Speaker 3>the rebellion. Clotilde Chip claims that she's gonna go tell

0:47:12.320 --> 0:47:14.759
<v Speaker 3>her father about it. I'm going to go talk to

0:47:14.800 --> 0:47:17.719
<v Speaker 3>the king, she says. I'm going to my royal kin

0:47:17.840 --> 0:47:20.400
<v Speaker 3>so they will know of our indignity. For here we

0:47:20.480 --> 0:47:23.319
<v Speaker 3>are based. I am tweeted, not as a daughter of

0:47:23.320 --> 0:47:26.560
<v Speaker 3>a king, but as this spawn of filthy slave girls.

0:47:26.760 --> 0:47:28.560
<v Speaker 3>She's like only throwing a little classism in.

0:47:28.480 --> 0:47:32.600
<v Speaker 2>My critique, treating them like this is fine, but.

0:47:33.160 --> 0:47:37.520
<v Speaker 3>How dare you fancy go? Isn't that right? Ladies? Right?

0:47:38.160 --> 0:47:40.600
<v Speaker 3>So Princess Bessieena and her army of nuns, they roll

0:47:40.680 --> 0:47:42.719
<v Speaker 3>forty deep. They march off to Tours, and they go

0:47:42.800 --> 0:47:45.080
<v Speaker 3>to speak to her father and his bishop, specifically the

0:47:45.120 --> 0:47:47.480
<v Speaker 3>main man, Gregory of Tours. That's why he writes all

0:47:47.480 --> 0:47:49.960
<v Speaker 3>about this, sure, and he like they were all confident

0:47:49.960 --> 0:47:52.279
<v Speaker 3>when they roll in talking about this mad abbess. And

0:47:52.360 --> 0:47:54.400
<v Speaker 3>she's got like a man in chains in the basement,

0:47:54.719 --> 0:47:56.840
<v Speaker 3>and she's like, you know, and they're like, what are you? Like?

0:47:56.880 --> 0:47:59.279
<v Speaker 3>What are you talking about? How bad are things? So

0:47:59.440 --> 0:48:03.080
<v Speaker 3>they brought basically medieval receipts amongst the army of nuns,

0:48:03.120 --> 0:48:06.080
<v Speaker 3>Elizabeth number forty deep. Yeah, some of them are young

0:48:06.160 --> 0:48:09.960
<v Speaker 3>nuns who are pregnant. They're like, how do you explain that, Bishop,

0:48:10.200 --> 0:48:14.839
<v Speaker 3>So well, basically, Abbess Mubivera, she was, as I said,

0:48:14.880 --> 0:48:17.080
<v Speaker 3>inviting the strange men to impregnate them. And they're like,

0:48:17.239 --> 0:48:18.840
<v Speaker 3>here is my evidence she.

0:48:19.000 --> 0:48:21.080
<v Speaker 2>Choose to get workers or something.

0:48:21.239 --> 0:48:23.080
<v Speaker 3>I do not know. Basically, they kind of claimed that

0:48:23.120 --> 0:48:25.200
<v Speaker 3>she was like a medieval Jeffrey Epstein, you know, like

0:48:25.239 --> 0:48:28.760
<v Speaker 3>it was it was done towards okay. So unsurprisingly, Gregory

0:48:28.800 --> 0:48:30.640
<v Speaker 3>of Tours is like unmoved. He's like, you know, I'm

0:48:30.640 --> 0:48:32.480
<v Speaker 3>an old bishop. I've heard it before. I don't really

0:48:32.520 --> 0:48:35.600
<v Speaker 3>want to get involved. Princess Bessin and Princess Clotilde, you're both,

0:48:35.640 --> 0:48:38.480
<v Speaker 3>you know, shamed and ostracized women. So you click spoiled

0:48:38.480 --> 0:48:41.320
<v Speaker 3>brats and uh, you know, you believe you're still princesses

0:48:41.360 --> 0:48:43.719
<v Speaker 3>and clearly you're not, so get out of and so yeah,

0:48:43.760 --> 0:48:45.680
<v Speaker 3>he disabuses them of the notion that they're going to

0:48:45.760 --> 0:48:49.200
<v Speaker 3>do He's gonna do anything about their revolt at the convent. Meanwhile,

0:48:49.520 --> 0:48:53.040
<v Speaker 3>this relative and aristocratic woman in the count of King gutrum.

0:48:53.880 --> 0:48:56.600
<v Speaker 3>She hears they're poleas right before the bishop about having

0:48:56.640 --> 0:48:59.960
<v Speaker 3>the abbess expelled. Ye, And so she promises these princesses.

0:49:00.040 --> 0:49:03.160
<v Speaker 3>She's like, work, we're distant family, but I like your game, right,

0:49:03.280 --> 0:49:05.680
<v Speaker 3>So she's like, I'll promise, I will have I will

0:49:05.719 --> 0:49:08.240
<v Speaker 3>have your father send a royal commission to the convent

0:49:08.320 --> 0:49:12.480
<v Speaker 3>and investigate your claims. Right, So that and like the

0:49:12.600 --> 0:49:15.279
<v Speaker 3>will if they find what you claim, will remove the

0:49:15.280 --> 0:49:16.560
<v Speaker 3>abbess under the king's power.

0:49:16.680 --> 0:49:17.040
<v Speaker 2>Right.

0:49:17.080 --> 0:49:19.320
<v Speaker 3>So the two princesses the army of duns. They agree,

0:49:19.320 --> 0:49:22.040
<v Speaker 3>they go marching back to the convent. But now when

0:49:22.080 --> 0:49:24.520
<v Speaker 3>they arrive, like you know, at the convent, they're not

0:49:24.560 --> 0:49:28.200
<v Speaker 3>welcome there. They've run a riot or rebellion. So they've

0:49:28.239 --> 0:49:30.200
<v Speaker 3>got to go down the road to another church and

0:49:30.239 --> 0:49:32.080
<v Speaker 3>they take over that church and like, this is where

0:49:32.080 --> 0:49:33.960
<v Speaker 3>we're going to hang out and wait for the royal

0:49:34.000 --> 0:49:38.879
<v Speaker 3>commission to get here. Yeah, And they wait and they wait, right,

0:49:39.000 --> 0:49:41.839
<v Speaker 3>and so meanwhile the abbess is like, I see you back.

0:49:41.880 --> 0:49:44.279
<v Speaker 3>How did it go in tours? And so the two

0:49:44.320 --> 0:49:46.560
<v Speaker 3>princesses are like, now it's cool, we saw a family,

0:49:46.840 --> 0:49:48.759
<v Speaker 3>you know, so what's up with you? You know, you're

0:49:48.760 --> 0:49:50.759
<v Speaker 3>still acting like a tyrant, and the abbess is like,

0:49:50.920 --> 0:49:53.120
<v Speaker 3>you know, the school, you and your little army and

0:49:53.160 --> 0:49:55.839
<v Speaker 3>your little church you you cannot come back around here,

0:49:55.920 --> 0:49:58.080
<v Speaker 3>so beats it right, and or I will have you

0:49:58.120 --> 0:50:00.759
<v Speaker 3>beat in. And the princesses are like, non, no, no, no, we

0:50:00.800 --> 0:50:03.040
<v Speaker 3>ain't stepping inside your convent, and we're gonna stay in

0:50:03.080 --> 0:50:05.279
<v Speaker 3>our church right where we are, so keep you, keep

0:50:05.320 --> 0:50:08.040
<v Speaker 3>our names out your mouth. And now the two princesses

0:50:08.040 --> 0:50:10.319
<v Speaker 3>they set up shop right. So they got this church

0:50:10.360 --> 0:50:13.240
<v Speaker 3>of Saint Hilary, and they have their rebel army of nuns.

0:50:13.239 --> 0:50:15.279
<v Speaker 3>But since this is like, you know, five eighty nine

0:50:15.560 --> 0:50:17.600
<v Speaker 3>forty nuns ain't gonna cut it as an army, so

0:50:17.719 --> 0:50:21.160
<v Speaker 3>they go being royal, they hire mercenaries or like, you

0:50:21.280 --> 0:50:22.839
<v Speaker 3>have to do what dad would do, so we'll hire

0:50:22.920 --> 0:50:25.600
<v Speaker 3>some men. So they bring in some men, and as

0:50:25.680 --> 0:50:28.759
<v Speaker 3>Gregory Tours summed it up, they basically hired a bunch

0:50:28.800 --> 0:50:31.600
<v Speaker 3>of outlaws and cutthroats and professional soldiers, or as he

0:50:31.640 --> 0:50:36.160
<v Speaker 3>called them, murderers, sorcerers, adulterers run the way, slaves, and

0:50:36.280 --> 0:50:38.120
<v Speaker 3>men guilty of all of the crimes.

0:50:38.160 --> 0:50:39.920
<v Speaker 2>The sorcerers are the ones that I love.

0:50:41.200 --> 0:50:48.520
<v Speaker 3>The flat totally got stars fall. So what happens once

0:50:48.719 --> 0:50:53.520
<v Speaker 3>the commission arrives at the convent, Well, nothing, because the

0:50:53.520 --> 0:50:57.200
<v Speaker 3>commission doesn't arrive. And then finally they send back word

0:50:57.640 --> 0:51:01.040
<v Speaker 3>and the commission doesn't come and the like. But then

0:51:01.400 --> 0:51:03.920
<v Speaker 3>after a long wait where looks like no royal commissions

0:51:03.920 --> 0:51:05.840
<v Speaker 3>ever going to show up, one shows up. It's just

0:51:05.880 --> 0:51:07.960
<v Speaker 3>the local bishops. They're like, they send us word to

0:51:07.960 --> 0:51:10.400
<v Speaker 3>come out here and check. So four bishops who were

0:51:10.480 --> 0:51:12.799
<v Speaker 3>like knowing that they're all implicated, they're all, you know,

0:51:12.880 --> 0:51:16.440
<v Speaker 3>like connected, some deacons, some local clerics, they roll up.

0:51:16.440 --> 0:51:18.239
<v Speaker 3>They're like, yeah, we're the commission. Church sold us to

0:51:18.280 --> 0:51:20.560
<v Speaker 3>handle it. So the two princesses are like this, no,

0:51:20.640 --> 0:51:22.920
<v Speaker 3>this is this is BS. So when they go to

0:51:23.080 --> 0:51:26.040
<v Speaker 3>arrive to talk sense to them, the princesses they're not

0:51:26.080 --> 0:51:29.239
<v Speaker 3>here in Elizabeth. So also the bishops are like, well,

0:51:29.239 --> 0:51:31.320
<v Speaker 3>if you're gonna act up at eye, Gregory of Tours

0:51:31.320 --> 0:51:34.440
<v Speaker 3>told us to excommunicate you. So you're excommunicated, and they're like,

0:51:34.480 --> 0:51:35.279
<v Speaker 3>what thank you?

0:51:35.360 --> 0:51:36.759
<v Speaker 2>At this point, I don't want to be.

0:51:37.080 --> 0:51:39.160
<v Speaker 3>Do you see these stank ass men we got here

0:51:39.200 --> 0:51:40.960
<v Speaker 3>in this church? And they go like yeah, well you

0:51:41.000 --> 0:51:43.680
<v Speaker 3>should see what they do professionally boys, and then they

0:51:43.719 --> 0:51:47.799
<v Speaker 3>have them beat up the deacons, the bishops, the local clerics,

0:51:48.000 --> 0:51:50.080
<v Speaker 3>and then they don't kill them, they don't worry about that,

0:51:50.320 --> 0:51:52.239
<v Speaker 3>but they basically toss them out of the church like,

0:51:52.280 --> 0:51:55.320
<v Speaker 3>you know, like a country bar. Now at this point,

0:51:55.360 --> 0:51:57.760
<v Speaker 3>realizing they're on their own and their war now against

0:51:57.800 --> 0:52:00.839
<v Speaker 3>the Abbess, Princess Clotild orders are rb to go and

0:52:00.880 --> 0:52:03.759
<v Speaker 3>seize the lands of the convent. She's like, go take

0:52:03.800 --> 0:52:05.960
<v Speaker 3>their serfs and tell them their farm belongs to dust.

0:52:06.280 --> 0:52:08.719
<v Speaker 3>They get straight mafia with it, right, her army of

0:52:08.800 --> 0:52:10.879
<v Speaker 3>bad men only too happy to do this because remember

0:52:10.880 --> 0:52:13.320
<v Speaker 3>they're all cut in wizards.

0:52:14.120 --> 0:52:16.880
<v Speaker 2>They're going to get paid until she this is how

0:52:16.880 --> 0:52:18.440
<v Speaker 2>they something exactly.

0:52:18.560 --> 0:52:20.719
<v Speaker 3>So they go, they pillage and they steal, and they

0:52:20.800 --> 0:52:23.640
<v Speaker 3>they loot right, and the convent surfs they fight back

0:52:23.719 --> 0:52:25.000
<v Speaker 3>because this is how they eat and this.

0:52:25.080 --> 0:52:26.320
<v Speaker 2>Is their stop right.

0:52:26.600 --> 0:52:28.959
<v Speaker 3>So then winter comes, everything cools down for a while.

0:52:29.000 --> 0:52:33.720
<v Speaker 3>Both sides retreat to their respective convents, their farms and churches. Meantime,

0:52:33.800 --> 0:52:37.440
<v Speaker 3>King Guntram hears about this. He's like, ah, I gotta

0:52:37.480 --> 0:52:41.440
<v Speaker 3>go deal. So he's like he sends out a royal edict, right,

0:52:41.480 --> 0:52:43.520
<v Speaker 3>and he says like in his royal dude is basically

0:52:43.760 --> 0:52:46.440
<v Speaker 3>knock it off and keep my name out your mouth,

0:52:47.160 --> 0:52:49.840
<v Speaker 3>and that's it. This is like, no, no, it's not

0:52:49.880 --> 0:52:52.360
<v Speaker 3>what he means. He's just saying that publicly, so he

0:52:52.360 --> 0:52:54.440
<v Speaker 3>looks responsible. What he if you really read this, what

0:52:54.480 --> 0:52:57.000
<v Speaker 3>he's saying is keep fighting, because he didn't say sick,

0:52:57.040 --> 0:52:59.200
<v Speaker 3>you know, totally stop. He's like he said knock it up.

0:52:59.239 --> 0:53:01.000
<v Speaker 3>No no, no, no, you're not reading it right.

0:53:01.080 --> 0:53:03.560
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how I do what that normally means.

0:53:03.360 --> 0:53:07.040
<v Speaker 3>In the court, it means something different. So winter passes,

0:53:07.080 --> 0:53:10.080
<v Speaker 3>springtime arrives. The years now five ninety. At easter, the

0:53:10.120 --> 0:53:13.000
<v Speaker 3>two princesses are like, oh, juiced up. They and the

0:53:13.080 --> 0:53:16.200
<v Speaker 3>rebel army of nuns and mercenary bad men. They decide,

0:53:16.280 --> 0:53:18.680
<v Speaker 3>let's settle for real, and they go and they attack

0:53:18.760 --> 0:53:20.960
<v Speaker 3>the convent and they're gonna take the abbess and drag

0:53:21.000 --> 0:53:23.560
<v Speaker 3>her out. Meanwhile, though, Elizabeth, because it has just gone

0:53:23.560 --> 0:53:25.839
<v Speaker 3>through winter, she's laid up. She's got a wicked case

0:53:25.880 --> 0:53:27.840
<v Speaker 3>of gout right. She's like, my ankles are killing me.

0:53:27.880 --> 0:53:31.920
<v Speaker 3>I'm not walking down these goddamn cold steps. She's hiding

0:53:31.960 --> 0:53:34.440
<v Speaker 3>out in the deep recesses of the convent. So this

0:53:34.560 --> 0:53:36.879
<v Speaker 3>is lucky for her because the two princes they order

0:53:36.960 --> 0:53:39.400
<v Speaker 3>their attack on the convent. Army of bad Man's attack.

0:53:39.600 --> 0:53:42.080
<v Speaker 3>They show up at night. Their tasks with grabbing the

0:53:42.280 --> 0:53:46.120
<v Speaker 3>abbess Lubivera right, and they abscond with her. But it's

0:53:46.120 --> 0:53:47.560
<v Speaker 3>not like they have a picture of her right. And

0:53:48.200 --> 0:53:51.440
<v Speaker 3>also it's like, you know, it's dark, there's candle light everywhere,

0:53:51.480 --> 0:53:53.480
<v Speaker 3>it's kind of hard to see stuff. They're moving fast,

0:53:53.719 --> 0:53:56.919
<v Speaker 3>so they grab the wrong woman. They grab a different woman.

0:53:56.960 --> 0:53:58.279
<v Speaker 3>They're like, she looked like she was.

0:53:58.239 --> 0:53:59.960
<v Speaker 2>In charge and she looks important.

0:54:00.040 --> 0:54:03.000
<v Speaker 3>They take her back, right, and they're like, oh, that's

0:54:03.040 --> 0:54:05.400
<v Speaker 3>not her, that's take her back to the convent. So

0:54:05.400 --> 0:54:07.840
<v Speaker 3>they go because it turns out that's Gregory of Tours,

0:54:07.920 --> 0:54:11.239
<v Speaker 3>his niece, and they're like, that's gonna be exting take

0:54:11.280 --> 0:54:14.799
<v Speaker 3>her back. Meanwhile, one mercenary did, like, I don't know,

0:54:14.920 --> 0:54:16.600
<v Speaker 3>on his own, like it's some kind of like Kevin

0:54:16.680 --> 0:54:18.960
<v Speaker 3>Costner like bid like I'm gonna go this way down.

0:54:19.520 --> 0:54:22.200
<v Speaker 3>So he's on his own going down the tower steps,

0:54:22.480 --> 0:54:26.520
<v Speaker 3>he finds the abbess suffering with gout and she's like,

0:54:26.560 --> 0:54:28.719
<v Speaker 3>you know, he's about to go full on medieval with her,

0:54:28.760 --> 0:54:30.600
<v Speaker 3>he's got to sword out. You know, he's gonna go chop,

0:54:30.680 --> 0:54:34.080
<v Speaker 3>chop chop, But he chickens out because she's clutching the

0:54:34.120 --> 0:54:37.160
<v Speaker 3>True or piece of the True Cross. Oh right, It's like,

0:54:37.239 --> 0:54:40.319
<v Speaker 3>I can't kill someone and one is an abbess and

0:54:40.320 --> 0:54:43.040
<v Speaker 3>two was holding the True Cross like my soul's going

0:54:43.160 --> 0:54:45.920
<v Speaker 3>right to hell. So he balks, he SLINKs off and

0:54:45.960 --> 0:54:48.439
<v Speaker 3>this saves her from like bloody death. Meanwhile, as I said,

0:54:48.480 --> 0:54:51.239
<v Speaker 3>the guys who grabbed the wrong one, they're like cot

0:54:51.280 --> 0:54:53.000
<v Speaker 3>tail and a scene are like, are you are you

0:54:53.080 --> 0:54:54.440
<v Speaker 3>kidding me? Do we have to go with you on

0:54:54.480 --> 0:54:56.360
<v Speaker 3>the raid? He's like, point her out? Do I have

0:54:56.400 --> 0:54:58.279
<v Speaker 3>to draw you a picture? Take her back? So they

0:54:58.320 --> 0:55:02.799
<v Speaker 3>take the Bishop of Tours Tours like Denise back right,

0:55:02.880 --> 0:55:05.680
<v Speaker 3>and so at that point when they're back, the mercenaries

0:55:05.680 --> 0:55:08.160
<v Speaker 3>are like, oh, let's just keep going till we find her,

0:55:08.520 --> 0:55:10.839
<v Speaker 3>So they search the entire combat that I don't want

0:55:10.840 --> 0:55:12.920
<v Speaker 3>to get yelled at again. So they managed to grab

0:55:12.960 --> 0:55:15.279
<v Speaker 3>the right abbess this time. They take her back to

0:55:15.320 --> 0:55:18.000
<v Speaker 3>the Church of Saying Hillary, the stronghold for the two princesses.

0:55:18.280 --> 0:55:20.680
<v Speaker 3>Then they locked the abbess in Princess bessin is like

0:55:20.719 --> 0:55:23.160
<v Speaker 3>personal chambers. You stay here because it's not like they

0:55:23.160 --> 0:55:25.600
<v Speaker 3>have like a prison. It's a church. So they and

0:55:25.640 --> 0:55:27.880
<v Speaker 3>then they have the men go back because now that

0:55:27.920 --> 0:55:29.760
<v Speaker 3>they have the abbess, the other nuns are all scared.

0:55:29.800 --> 0:55:32.000
<v Speaker 3>Some have run for the hills. They they go back.

0:55:32.080 --> 0:55:34.920
<v Speaker 3>The bad men steal all of the holy relics and

0:55:34.960 --> 0:55:37.840
<v Speaker 3>everything they can carry. They loot the place like vikings,

0:55:37.880 --> 0:55:39.640
<v Speaker 3>and they steal a piece of the True Cross. That

0:55:39.680 --> 0:55:41.960
<v Speaker 3>piece of the True Cross they get that too, and

0:55:42.280 --> 0:55:44.359
<v Speaker 3>you know, basically they get medieval with it. Like I said,

0:55:44.400 --> 0:55:47.120
<v Speaker 3>Now the second bishop and local bishop here's about this.

0:55:47.200 --> 0:55:50.480
<v Speaker 3>He's like, they got the true Cross. Oh man, are

0:55:50.480 --> 0:55:54.640
<v Speaker 3>you for real? So Bishop metroveis from Poitier where the

0:55:55.120 --> 0:55:58.239
<v Speaker 3>convent is. He orders local villagers and serfs to go

0:55:58.480 --> 0:56:01.399
<v Speaker 3>storm the church. He's like, get your pick axes, get

0:56:01.480 --> 0:56:04.560
<v Speaker 3>you to go out there. You gotta hate fork use

0:56:04.640 --> 0:56:07.279
<v Speaker 3>that right. So, uh, they go down to church with

0:56:07.360 --> 0:56:09.879
<v Speaker 3>Saint Hilary to free the true Cross. Because he also

0:56:09.880 --> 0:56:13.000
<v Speaker 3>says if they get the first they're like they're professional soldiers.

0:56:13.000 --> 0:56:16.960
<v Speaker 3>Some of them are murderers sorcerers in there. Yeah.

0:56:17.080 --> 0:56:20.960
<v Speaker 2>So he's wearing so much crush velvet scares the children.

0:56:21.440 --> 0:56:24.520
<v Speaker 3>So the guy's like, Okay, look, they may have the bishops,

0:56:24.520 --> 0:56:26.600
<v Speaker 3>like you know, they may have a mercenary army, but

0:56:26.760 --> 0:56:29.520
<v Speaker 3>we have our faith. And if you don't go down there,

0:56:29.560 --> 0:56:32.600
<v Speaker 3>I'm not baptizing anyone. I'm not offering no blessings. Don't

0:56:32.640 --> 0:56:36.400
<v Speaker 3>come to me for nothing. So he withholds this. He

0:56:36.480 --> 0:56:39.040
<v Speaker 3>doesn't like imbue it to them. He's like, I'm cutting

0:56:39.080 --> 0:56:42.040
<v Speaker 3>you off it. So they're like, oh, he's liked, go

0:56:42.080 --> 0:56:44.720
<v Speaker 3>free the abbess. So then they get the True Cross

0:56:44.719 --> 0:56:47.600
<v Speaker 3>and so they go down. Now, Princess Clytilde, she had

0:56:47.640 --> 0:56:49.600
<v Speaker 3>spent some time in the court. She knew the language

0:56:49.600 --> 0:56:51.360
<v Speaker 3>of power, she knew what to expect, she knew that

0:56:51.440 --> 0:56:53.920
<v Speaker 3>a new rating party was coming. So she orders her

0:56:54.000 --> 0:56:56.760
<v Speaker 3>men kill the abbess if anyone breaks into our church.

0:56:56.880 --> 0:56:57.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, right, And.

0:56:57.600 --> 0:57:01.640
<v Speaker 3>They're like, really, like that's can the young guy do it?

0:57:01.880 --> 0:57:04.960
<v Speaker 3>So apparently this like it wasn't the one outlaw bad

0:57:05.040 --> 0:57:07.320
<v Speaker 3>man who's afraid of killing the abbess true Cross or

0:57:07.400 --> 0:57:10.239
<v Speaker 3>no True Cross, because this royal Ondoi shows up and

0:57:10.280 --> 0:57:12.400
<v Speaker 3>the guys just let him in, like just take her,

0:57:12.440 --> 0:57:15.640
<v Speaker 3>and then then she leaves with her. Then they're like

0:57:15.680 --> 0:57:16.680
<v Speaker 3>I don't. I can't be helped.

0:57:17.280 --> 0:57:19.240
<v Speaker 2>I mean, she's a terrible person, but you don't want

0:57:19.280 --> 0:57:21.200
<v Speaker 2>that kind of trouble with the man upstairs.

0:57:20.920 --> 0:57:24.040
<v Speaker 3>Right, don't put that on my soul, like poly walnuts.

0:57:24.080 --> 0:57:27.120
<v Speaker 3>And it's just like I'm dragging salty. So finally the

0:57:27.120 --> 0:57:30.960
<v Speaker 3>princess held uncle King Gutram. He intervenes again. He sends

0:57:31.000 --> 0:57:34.560
<v Speaker 3>his dude, Count Maco to this convent rebellion that's going

0:57:34.600 --> 0:57:36.680
<v Speaker 3>back in front now turning into a civil war. Different

0:57:36.800 --> 0:57:39.200
<v Speaker 3>towns and things are basically, as they said, getting medieval.

0:57:39.280 --> 0:57:41.720
<v Speaker 3>So he's like, all right, I need you to get

0:57:41.840 --> 0:57:44.840
<v Speaker 3>full of medieval. And so Count Macho comes down and

0:57:44.920 --> 0:57:47.040
<v Speaker 3>things get bloody, so we'll just skip past that part.

0:57:47.080 --> 0:57:50.760
<v Speaker 3>Tell anyway, the hired mercenaries they flee. Those who can

0:57:50.920 --> 0:57:53.040
<v Speaker 3>and still have legs they flee, and they head for

0:57:53.040 --> 0:57:55.120
<v Speaker 3>the forest. Other head for the coast. They flee. And

0:57:55.120 --> 0:57:57.800
<v Speaker 3>then the two princesses they get put on trial because

0:57:57.840 --> 0:58:01.160
<v Speaker 3>you know, they stole the whole convent, they started a rebellion,

0:58:01.240 --> 0:58:03.680
<v Speaker 3>they stole the true Cross. It's like a whole deal.

0:58:03.920 --> 0:58:07.480
<v Speaker 3>So the abbess she testifies against them. She denies, like

0:58:07.520 --> 0:58:11.280
<v Speaker 3>what strange men impregnating done. Who says this, these are lies?

0:58:11.440 --> 0:58:13.760
<v Speaker 3>Man in my basement, changed up, what are you talking about?

0:58:13.760 --> 0:58:16.640
<v Speaker 3>Because everything's gone, there's no evidence anymore, and no one's

0:58:16.640 --> 0:58:19.840
<v Speaker 3>are going against her because she won. So and she's like,

0:58:19.920 --> 0:58:22.920
<v Speaker 3>oh and the bishops and the and the deacons and

0:58:22.960 --> 0:58:26.640
<v Speaker 3>the people listen. They're like, okay, that innocent. So she's

0:58:26.720 --> 0:58:29.160
<v Speaker 3>innocent of the charges. They do it basically a double

0:58:29.160 --> 0:58:32.240
<v Speaker 3>trial because at the same point the princesses are guilty.

0:58:32.320 --> 0:58:34.800
<v Speaker 3>So they were like, okay, you're innocent, you're guilty. Yeah,

0:58:34.840 --> 0:58:38.200
<v Speaker 3>and they uh. At this point to the revolts over,

0:58:38.360 --> 0:58:42.240
<v Speaker 3>the local bishop formerly excommunicates the two princesses yet again,

0:58:42.400 --> 0:58:43.520
<v Speaker 3>and they're not impressed by this.

0:58:43.840 --> 0:58:46.280
<v Speaker 2>If you've been excommunicated once and you do it again,

0:58:46.360 --> 0:58:48.080
<v Speaker 2>does that bring you back into the church, Like, I

0:58:48.480 --> 0:58:49.080
<v Speaker 2>think you've got to.

0:58:49.040 --> 0:58:51.600
<v Speaker 3>Be recommunicated, And then, you know, I think it's a

0:58:51.680 --> 0:58:54.600
<v Speaker 3>back seat. Jesus slips around like you just you just

0:58:54.760 --> 0:58:58.320
<v Speaker 3>made a big three to six and my man, So

0:58:58.720 --> 0:59:01.680
<v Speaker 3>once they played the uno reverse card in the excommunication, right,

0:59:02.240 --> 0:59:05.080
<v Speaker 3>they then have now been excommunicated let's say seven times,

0:59:05.080 --> 0:59:07.480
<v Speaker 3>So now they're back to excommunicating because they got they

0:59:07.480 --> 0:59:10.120
<v Speaker 3>got ex communicated multiple times during the revolt. They just

0:59:10.200 --> 0:59:12.840
<v Speaker 3>kept trying there like it's not taking so luckily for

0:59:12.880 --> 0:59:16.919
<v Speaker 3>their eternal souls. That Princess Clotilde's father, King Charrabee, he

0:59:17.040 --> 0:59:19.840
<v Speaker 3>steps back in the picture. He's like, look, I will

0:59:19.880 --> 0:59:25.280
<v Speaker 3>personally unexcommunicate you officially, so he has his bishop unexcommunicate him,

0:59:25.440 --> 0:59:27.680
<v Speaker 3>and then once the princess has got restored to grace,

0:59:27.920 --> 0:59:30.560
<v Speaker 3>he's like, look, can y'all chill the f out so

0:59:30.600 --> 0:59:33.040
<v Speaker 3>I can like concentrate on, like, you know, controlling France

0:59:33.160 --> 0:59:37.480
<v Speaker 3>or will soon be France. Princess Messina, she was like, okay, fine.

0:59:37.560 --> 0:59:39.800
<v Speaker 3>She goes back to the convent at Saint Croix and

0:59:40.520 --> 0:59:42.320
<v Speaker 3>she doesn't really have a better option because remember she's

0:59:42.400 --> 0:59:46.000
<v Speaker 3>totally cut off from the royal line. Now, Princess Clotilde

0:59:46.280 --> 0:59:48.840
<v Speaker 3>had a little bit easier. She was like illegitimate, but

0:59:48.880 --> 0:59:51.520
<v Speaker 3>she's like family looks like you know, she basically had

0:59:51.680 --> 0:59:55.360
<v Speaker 3>like a great aunt. This is the dowager so Queen Brunhilda,

0:59:55.400 --> 0:59:58.120
<v Speaker 3>which is King Sharabe's mother, so I guess it's her grandmother.

0:59:59.080 --> 1:00:01.200
<v Speaker 3>She's like, okay, I'll give you some lands on my own.

1:00:01.280 --> 1:00:03.600
<v Speaker 3>So she stokes her out with like a Roman, like

1:00:03.640 --> 1:00:06.400
<v Speaker 3>a crumbling Roman villa, and like lands like a bunch

1:00:06.440 --> 1:00:08.520
<v Speaker 3>of serfs of her own. And so she just spends

1:00:08.520 --> 1:00:12.439
<v Speaker 3>her days doing like court dramatics and court intrigue from

1:00:12.440 --> 1:00:15.520
<v Speaker 3>her crumbling Roman villa. So she wins in one way,

1:00:15.800 --> 1:00:17.560
<v Speaker 3>and that's all I got. So that's as close they

1:00:17.560 --> 1:00:18.280
<v Speaker 3>get to a happy ending.

1:00:18.400 --> 1:00:20.120
<v Speaker 2>Huh. I like it. I'll take it. There you go,

1:00:20.200 --> 1:00:20.840
<v Speaker 2>I'll take it.

1:00:21.280 --> 1:00:24.160
<v Speaker 3>Absolutely ridiculous relic thefts to the point you see the

1:00:24.200 --> 1:00:27.520
<v Speaker 3>whole damn convent. What's all ridiculous? Takeaway here, Elizabeth.

1:00:28.120 --> 1:00:30.360
<v Speaker 2>I think it's interesting when you're talking about like the

1:00:30.480 --> 1:00:35.040
<v Speaker 2>historical context around all these I'm wondering if the back

1:00:35.080 --> 1:00:37.320
<v Speaker 2>and forth with a lot of the relic stuff is

1:00:37.400 --> 1:00:43.800
<v Speaker 2>just cover for other political intrigue and and uh, you know,

1:00:45.120 --> 1:00:48.600
<v Speaker 2>these are periods of time with which I'm not wholly familiar.

1:00:48.720 --> 1:00:52.120
<v Speaker 3>There's also a lot of like showing you're in God's favor, right, Yeah,

1:00:52.160 --> 1:00:54.320
<v Speaker 3>that's really powerful politics. Yeah.

1:00:54.360 --> 1:00:56.920
<v Speaker 2>Point, But if you have other reasons, ulterior motives to

1:00:56.920 --> 1:01:02.640
<v Speaker 2>make a move on someone, whether it's a another monastery

1:01:02.720 --> 1:01:05.000
<v Speaker 2>or something, and then you do it under the cover

1:01:05.120 --> 1:01:08.919
<v Speaker 2>of these these relics, you know, I think that we have.

1:01:09.120 --> 1:01:11.840
<v Speaker 2>It's always it's always I was gonna say it's always

1:01:11.920 --> 1:01:15.840
<v Speaker 2>dangerous when but I think it's just unavoidable that, uh,

1:01:16.240 --> 1:01:21.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, religion and faith get tied in with politics geopolitics. Wow,

1:01:22.040 --> 1:01:23.080
<v Speaker 2>I think it's just who we are.

1:01:23.280 --> 1:01:23.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, totally.

1:01:24.120 --> 1:01:26.920
<v Speaker 2>So, you know, I think that it's I would not

1:01:27.000 --> 1:01:30.120
<v Speaker 2>be surprised if people were using their their faith as

1:01:30.160 --> 1:01:31.120
<v Speaker 2>a cover for others.

1:01:32.000 --> 1:01:34.320
<v Speaker 3>It was very political. I mean, Gregorators is very much

1:01:34.360 --> 1:01:37.480
<v Speaker 3>involved in politics. And because my ridiculous take away, thank

1:01:37.480 --> 1:01:40.080
<v Speaker 3>you for asking. With the fall of Rome, they're left

1:01:40.080 --> 1:01:42.640
<v Speaker 3>with like the roads, the villas, and the you know,

1:01:42.760 --> 1:01:47.320
<v Speaker 3>the various wells and canals, and you know, the ability

1:01:47.360 --> 1:01:50.880
<v Speaker 3>to like kind of like inhabit the architecture. And yet

1:01:50.960 --> 1:01:53.600
<v Speaker 3>they don't inhabit the political architectures. They don't have it

1:01:53.600 --> 1:01:55.560
<v Speaker 3>all worked out, so it becomes down to like who's

1:01:55.560 --> 1:01:59.200
<v Speaker 3>got power. Well, the church becomes this consolidating place and

1:01:59.360 --> 1:02:02.000
<v Speaker 3>you know, and they're also able to do labor, like

1:02:02.040 --> 1:02:04.600
<v Speaker 3>they have like you know, a mill, so that's where

1:02:04.600 --> 1:02:06.720
<v Speaker 3>you take your wheat to be turned into flour or whatnot.

1:02:06.760 --> 1:02:08.920
<v Speaker 3>You get the idea that it's like they become the

1:02:09.000 --> 1:02:13.960
<v Speaker 3>center of industry there. Once you merge organized power force

1:02:14.040 --> 1:02:16.680
<v Speaker 3>and send industry, I'm just like, oh, of course. But

1:02:16.720 --> 1:02:19.480
<v Speaker 3>then without the Roman decadence, this is what they do

1:02:19.560 --> 1:02:22.120
<v Speaker 3>is they just steal each other's body parts, and they're like,

1:02:22.120 --> 1:02:24.560
<v Speaker 3>this is Holy God's telling us to do this. So

1:02:24.600 --> 1:02:26.880
<v Speaker 3>it's because just as reckless as the Romans, but just

1:02:26.920 --> 1:02:29.440
<v Speaker 3>in a totally different way. It's like, oh, I got it,

1:02:29.520 --> 1:02:32.440
<v Speaker 3>I got your kneebone, Bro, everyone's bone.

1:02:32.560 --> 1:02:34.400
<v Speaker 2>Everyone's got a way to be reckless.

1:02:34.200 --> 1:02:36.600
<v Speaker 3>Right, So there you go. Now you the move for talkback.

1:02:36.800 --> 1:02:38.680
<v Speaker 2>I am truscy D.

1:02:38.760 --> 1:02:45.160
<v Speaker 3>Can you throw one on the wax? Oh? Oh my god?

1:02:45.400 --> 1:02:46.800
<v Speaker 3>Did you just see that?

1:02:48.960 --> 1:02:55.360
<v Speaker 2>I let get okay, this is my second try.

1:02:56.040 --> 1:03:03.200
<v Speaker 3>Uh. Lady host Elizabeth and Zaron, I.

1:03:03.200 --> 1:03:05.000
<v Speaker 2>Love you guys.

1:03:05.280 --> 1:03:09.880
<v Speaker 3>Your banter is so great. Elizabeth, you are a punk

1:03:09.960 --> 1:03:10.439
<v Speaker 3>rock fan.

1:03:11.520 --> 1:03:14.720
<v Speaker 2>I love that you mentioned Balancing Souls, one of the

1:03:14.760 --> 1:03:16.320
<v Speaker 2>best albums ever.

1:03:18.320 --> 1:03:19.560
<v Speaker 3>I love you guys.

1:03:19.680 --> 1:03:25.400
<v Speaker 2>By It's over, we love you.

1:03:26.480 --> 1:03:29.840
<v Speaker 3>That was great. It's like he was like in a

1:03:29.920 --> 1:03:32.880
<v Speaker 3>room with it escaping oxygen. He's like, yeah, I gotta

1:03:32.920 --> 1:03:36.120
<v Speaker 3>use bro, I have to get out this message.

1:03:37.200 --> 1:03:39.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm glad that we were the last gasp on that one.

1:03:41.120 --> 1:03:45.600
<v Speaker 3>I love it, so thank you for that. As always,

1:03:45.600 --> 1:03:47.760
<v Speaker 3>you can find us online Ridiculous Crime on social media

1:03:47.840 --> 1:03:51.040
<v Speaker 3>and now we have the account Ridiculous Crime Pod YouTube.

1:03:51.040 --> 1:03:54.320
<v Speaker 3>Go check that out. That's pod pod with the Ridiculous

1:03:54.320 --> 1:03:57.120
<v Speaker 3>Crime at up front. We have our website Ridiculous Crime

1:03:57.200 --> 1:04:01.160
<v Speaker 3>dot com and uh we have if you can go there,

1:04:01.160 --> 1:04:03.080
<v Speaker 3>take a survey, tell us about yourself. We'd like to

1:04:03.160 --> 1:04:05.240
<v Speaker 3>check you out here about you, or you can just

1:04:05.320 --> 1:04:09.000
<v Speaker 3>check out the Museum of Gifts. Very enjoyable. As always,

1:04:09.040 --> 1:04:11.360
<v Speaker 3>please go to the talkbacks the iHeart app. Download it,

1:04:11.440 --> 1:04:14.280
<v Speaker 3>leave a talkback and we'd love to hear your voice here.

1:04:14.480 --> 1:04:16.720
<v Speaker 3>Maybe you'd like to do it, so do it. Go

1:04:16.960 --> 1:04:20.480
<v Speaker 3>download and do it to talk back. Thank you for listening.

1:04:20.560 --> 1:04:28.200
<v Speaker 3>We will catch you next. Crime I Think It Was

1:04:28.240 --> 1:04:31.120
<v Speaker 3>Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and Sarah Pier, produced

1:04:31.120 --> 1:04:35.120
<v Speaker 3>and edited by our resident sainto Providence Dave Couston, and

1:04:35.200 --> 1:04:38.840
<v Speaker 3>starring analyst Rucker Is Judith. Research is by the educated

1:04:38.880 --> 1:04:41.880
<v Speaker 3>historians of our Abbi Marissa Browne and Jubari Davis. Our

1:04:41.920 --> 1:04:45.600
<v Speaker 3>theme song is by our resident house band, The Syncopated Saints,

1:04:45.760 --> 1:04:49.360
<v Speaker 3>Thomas Lee and Travis Dutton. The host wardrobe provided by Bobby,

1:04:49.400 --> 1:04:52.880
<v Speaker 3>five hundred guests, hair makeup by Sparkleshott and mister Andre.

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<v Speaker 3>Executive producers are the proud owners of John the Baptist,

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<v Speaker 3>Good Here, Ben Bowlin and Noel Brown.

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<v Speaker 1>Ridicous Crime, Say It one More Time Ridiquious Crime. Ridiculous

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<v Speaker 1>Crime is a production of iHeartRadio. Four more podcasts from

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<v Speaker 1>my heart Radio. Visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

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<v Speaker 1>wherever you listen to your favorite shows.