Speaker 1: Ridiculous Crime is a production of iHeartRadio.
Speaker 2: Elizabeth Dutton Zaren Fornette.
Speaker 3: I've got a question for you, girl.
Speaker 2: Always always have a question, I do, and I always
Speaker 2: have answers.
Speaker 3: I got a pocket full of questions and a pocket
Speaker 3: full of waiting for your answer. Here's my question. You know,
Speaker 3: it's ridiculous, I do, I do?
Speaker 2: What did you know that the Super Bowl for too blue?
Speaker 2: The Super Bowl is apparently the biggest chicken wing consumption
Speaker 2: day of the year.
Speaker 3: I would guess that. Yeah, I mean, yeah, it may
Speaker 3: it makes sense.
Speaker 2: It's like that, and like Halloween, I'm.
Speaker 3: Sure pizza probably Also.
Speaker 2: Don't you give kids Halloween chicken wings? Yeah?
Speaker 3: You got a bullet chicken wings for all the kids
Speaker 3: you come by. You don't do that now, I give
Speaker 3: out handy wipes.
Speaker 2: Anyway. That's ridiculous. That's that's it's so super Bowl for
Speaker 2: that's the yellow when you talk about football football, Oh
Speaker 2: my god, so much. You have no idea. So really
Speaker 2: you have no So the biggest wing consumption day of
Speaker 2: the year, right, and like, would you call chicken wings craveable?
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Now I'm just asking because I would not know. I'm
Speaker 2: not a fan of that word.
Speaker 3: No, I don't think that's actually a.
Speaker 2: Word, because like there's the craveable flavor of ranch and
Speaker 2: buffalo wings.
Speaker 3: Now you're using it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like what you know, we think of like
Speaker 2: ranch and buffalo wings and like our faces getting greasy,
Speaker 2: our lips in particularly getting greasy.
Speaker 3: Sure, why not?
Speaker 2: Do you know what else makes your lips greasy?
Speaker 3: Producer day, please make your stuff. She's doing it to
Speaker 3: me again. It's what it's a mashupes.
Speaker 2: Birds Bees lip gloss.
Speaker 3: Did you say berts Bees lip bomb?
Speaker 2: I should say bomb?
Speaker 3: Okay, Well whatever my lip rub uh huh. So chickings,
Speaker 3: we have us a mash. I have a chicken wing
Speaker 3: grease lip roll.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, okay. So birds Bees got together with Hidden
Speaker 2: Valley Ranch, which is a frequent flyer.
Speaker 3: Does people have ranch to make?
Speaker 2: The ranch folks and the cheetos folks need to just
Speaker 2: sit down for a little bit.
Speaker 3: They take every call, They're like, hello, they'll.
Speaker 2: Do they will do it. They're like shack and a commercial.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, we're free.
Speaker 2: I will totally do it. Okay. So they have four flavors,
Speaker 2: Hidden Valley Ranch, Ranch, lip Bomb, Crunchy, Celery Fresh, Carrot
Speaker 2: and then Buffalo sauce. Oh my god, I told you
Speaker 2: it was four listen, listen to what I say. So anyway,
Speaker 2: it came out. It was released on January seventeenth. Okay,
Speaker 2: and you could use like a code to get free shipping.
Speaker 2: That it was a pack was like twelve bucks.
Speaker 3: This is for the super Bowl.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know we're all getting ready and fired up.
Speaker 2: I am. I will not change my underwear for four
Speaker 2: months for the super Bowl for good Luck, because I
Speaker 2: love football over your team luck for too blue. So anyway,
Speaker 2: this all kicked off because they in twenty twenty two,
Speaker 2: Hidden Valley Ranch did like a April Fool social media
Speaker 2: thing saying that they were going to make lip Bomb,
Speaker 2: and then people are like, I love it. Do it?
Speaker 3: Do their executives do like acid that the retreats, Yes,
Speaker 3: they just have corporate retreats. They're like, okay, we're gonna
Speaker 3: do mushrooms. Did everyone come up with a mashup?
Speaker 2: You want to say January seventeenth? It comes out January eighteenth,
Speaker 2: Uh huh sold out?
Speaker 3: How many did they make?
Speaker 2: Oh? Four, no, barely.
Speaker 3: They they didn't say how many. They made, sure a
Speaker 3: lot and.
Speaker 2: They were all like, really, wow, this one sold out fast.
Speaker 3: Does anyone ever use them? No?
Speaker 2: I think this is the kind of garbage that you
Speaker 2: give to someone uhuh huh, and then it like sits
Speaker 2: in a drawer or it's on a.
Speaker 3: Bookshelf or did like a birthday gift.
Speaker 2: And then it's like you're cleaning your house because you've
Speaker 2: realized your life is like just a disaster. I need
Speaker 2: to write it up. Yeah, and then off it goes.
Speaker 2: So there are you?
Speaker 3: Are you talking confessing a little bit here? You got
Speaker 3: a second because I got something that's also ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Yes, I've taken all the seconds.
Speaker 3: On that, okay, because you know what is also ridiculous
Speaker 3: other than your birch Bee's lip balm.
Speaker 2: For too blue.
Speaker 3: Your wedding day. Oh no, this we're supposed to say,
Speaker 3: but Saren, I'm.
Speaker 2: Not married, Karen, I'm not married.
Speaker 3: And then I say, no, not your wedding day. Your
Speaker 3: wedding day, like as in just anybody's wedding, wedding, like
Speaker 3: it's supposed to be this special day, any wedding day.
Speaker 2: One's wedding day, one of the most second person and
Speaker 2: put it into the third one.
Speaker 3: Listen as if I'm speaking to everybody. You your wedding
Speaker 3: day people, mister and missus America and all the ships
Speaker 3: at sea. Okay, it's supposed to be this special day, right,
Speaker 3: one of the most magical, loving days of your life. Elizabeth,
Speaker 3: Imagine if you tried to use that day to pull
Speaker 3: a fast one, or to finessa mark, or maybe to
Speaker 3: flee a fool. Maybe how about long con some gumbible normies,
Speaker 3: or better yet, how about this one. You use your
Speaker 3: wedding day to steal someone else's entire home.
Speaker 4: Oh my god, you know what that would be ridiculous.
Speaker 3: This is Ridiculous Crime, A podcast about absurd and outrageous capers, heists,
Speaker 3: and cons. It's always ninety nine percent murder free and
Speaker 3: one hundred percent ridiculous. Way first up, Elizabeth, I want
Speaker 3: to do the little housekeeping now. For those who don't know,
Speaker 3: Elizabeth runs an imaginary strip club where the strippers wear
Speaker 3: clothing and just fly around on couches, not really dancing
Speaker 3: or really.
Speaker 2: Doing anything in like cozy clothes.
Speaker 3: How's yeah, yeah? How are things that's lost is going
Speaker 3: so well? How's business post pandemic? Or how are the ladies? Oh?
Speaker 2: Perfect? We don't let anyone.
Speaker 3: In anything new going on in caftans for twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3: That's yeah, anything moves or a snuggy nonactive where I
Speaker 3: need to know about it.
Speaker 2: A lot of down comforters this time of year. Well,
Speaker 2: I like to check in with great social distancing rules.
Speaker 3: Yeah, what is it?
Speaker 2: It's twenty feet twenty feet. Yeah, it's like from each
Speaker 2: other from the public. Overt your eyes.
Speaker 3: Big space bubbles. What do you have a term for that? Yeah? Now,
Speaker 3: I know your business is purely fictional, but I do
Speaker 3: like to hear how it's going. I care of the
Speaker 3: market's treating you. I'm just a good American like that.
Speaker 3: I know you are, Elizabeth. It's an election year, right,
Speaker 3: and I don't want I don't want to talk about that. No,
Speaker 3: I do, really do all So instead, today I want
Speaker 3: to tell you about people who are stealing from weddings.
Speaker 2: That's a mash up away, hard left turn.
Speaker 3: I don't know where this is going lost, but well, okay,
Speaker 3: we're gonna talk about weddings. People who steal from weddings,
Speaker 3: people who use weddings to steal from people. We got
Speaker 3: both cons and today now, Joseph Davis, that's that's our guy, right,
Speaker 3: do you know him?
Speaker 2: Not personally?
Speaker 3: Do you know where law enforcement might be able to
Speaker 3: find him? Because he is not a good groom. He
Speaker 3: needs to be stopped before he strikes again, Elizabeth, This dude,
Speaker 3: Joe Davis, he was planning to be a bigamist. He
Speaker 3: wasn't there yet. He was planning, He was on his way,
Speaker 3: he didn't quite get there. There were two women who
Speaker 3: both thought they were his fiance. Yeah, so the forty
Speaker 3: eight year old, right, he's sharking around on the dating
Speaker 3: site Okay Cubid. This is like back in cubid. Okay Cupid, Cubist,
Speaker 3: Okay Cubist. Yes, it's it's an art site. You gotta
Speaker 3: be a little little sideways anyway.
Speaker 2: Hey Cubist. Such a good idea.
Speaker 3: For a dating site.
Speaker 2: Anyway, go ahead, Okay.
Speaker 3: So twenty fifteen is when they met on Okay Cupid,
Speaker 3: and that's when he met the first woman to whom
Speaker 3: he proclaimed his love. Right, he tells this womany man,
Speaker 3: my name is Joe Brown. Nice to meet you, baby.
Speaker 3: The next year he's back on okay Cubid. That's when
Speaker 3: he meets woman number two. He tells, hey, baby, nice
Speaker 3: to meet you. My name is Marcus Brown. Oh he
Speaker 3: has two names, right. He was on it, you know,
Speaker 3: he was smart. He was like, I need two names,
Speaker 3: two women, two names, but both of them will be
Speaker 3: mister Brown. So that way public if somebody says, mister Brown.
Speaker 2: I can turn oh, I see you. Okay, it's like.
Speaker 3: A Tarantino movie. Mister Brown. That's it. So this dude,
Speaker 3: not a judge Joe, but Joe Brown. Please call me
Speaker 3: mister Marcus. He romances these two women, right and at
Speaker 3: the same time for years, four years, because we're up
Speaker 3: to twenty twenty one when this story hits.
Speaker 2: So at one point, though, what year did he start?
Speaker 3: Twenty fifteen for number one and twenty sixteen for number two.
Speaker 3: He's strung um both along for five and six years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so he just like laid the groundwork with the
Speaker 2: first one when he felt like she could this could
Speaker 2: go on autopilot.
Speaker 3: Then he went to the next. He's apparently a fast
Speaker 3: mover and a slow mover at the same time. So
Speaker 3: at one point, the dude he takes girlfriend number two
Speaker 3: to girlfriend number one's house. She's not home, of course, right,
Speaker 3: that would be weird.
Speaker 2: Elizabeth, Well, I mean I don't know they so they
Speaker 2: let's establish the girlfriends don't know about each other.
Speaker 3: No, they not know about each other.
Speaker 2: I mean because I don't know how some people want
Speaker 2: Oh no, some people.
Speaker 3: Roll that like that. But anyway, she's at work, and
Speaker 3: so he takes girlfriend number two around the house for it,
Speaker 3: gives her tour of the home and it get this.
Speaker 3: He tells her it's his house or no, it's about
Speaker 3: to be his house, right, And she's like, oh baby,
Speaker 3: this is great now. I bet you can start to
Speaker 3: hear the dateline music start to play in your head.
Speaker 3: What do you mean about to be his house?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 2: Dah?
Speaker 3: But I will I promise you the story is not
Speaker 3: going to turn dark and bloody. You know this is
Speaker 3: We're keeping this one in ninety nine percent.
Speaker 2: Murder fat, don't worry.
Speaker 3: You want me to tell you nothing bad happens to
Speaker 3: girlfrid number two a number one in that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he's still a sick o exactly.
Speaker 3: He's still got Joe Marcus and there waiting.
Speaker 2: Around the other woman's house. Are you kidding me?
Speaker 3: So back to Joe, I'm sorry, did you say Marcus Brown?
Speaker 3: After he showed girlfriend number two the home of girlfriend
Speaker 3: number one. He told her it was his house. He's like, Yo,
Speaker 3: we're about to be his house. He goes bigger. He's like,
Speaker 3: you know you should move in with me, baby, stop it. Yeah.
Speaker 3: She was like, for real, because I'm gonna go home
Speaker 3: and pack up all my stuff right, And he's like, oh,
Speaker 3: for real, for really, you need to come and she's
Speaker 3: like okay, And so she goes home, She packs up
Speaker 3: all of her stuff, she disassembles her furniture, she gives
Speaker 3: notice on her place. She's out there, she schedules moving days.
Speaker 3: She's out there moving day waiting for the truck to
Speaker 3: show up, Elizabeth. The truck never showed up. The day
Speaker 3: of the move. Marcus called her and tells her, baby, Baby,
Speaker 3: I got bad news. The deal fell through on the house.
Speaker 3: And she's like, what do you mean fell through? What deal?
Speaker 3: I thought it was your home? And so somehow she
Speaker 3: skips past this, and if you can believe it, despite
Speaker 3: that little hiccup in their love story, she stayed with
Speaker 3: her man. She loved Marcus. Elizabeth. They've been together since
Speaker 3: twenty sixteen and we're now we're in twenty twenty one.
Speaker 3: That's five solid years. Meanwhile, girlfriend number one. She'd been
Speaker 3: with her man Joe since twenty fifteen. Of course, right.
Speaker 3: She knows nothing about the proposed move in of girlfriend
Speaker 3: number two. Like I said, they weren't kinky like that,
Speaker 3: she went into polyamory, nothing like that. She was just
Speaker 3: living her best life with her man Joe. Now one
Speaker 3: day she gets this itch though, this nagging little voice
Speaker 3: that tells her that Joe may be playing around. I
Speaker 3: don't know why, but she got.
Speaker 2: The idea Usten.
Speaker 3: But she didn't have any proof, right, So she's like you,
Speaker 3: so what do you think she does? She's like, I
Speaker 3: can't come at them with no evidence, so she hops
Speaker 3: on Facebook.
Speaker 2: I don't get on Facebook, but I will find the information.
Speaker 3: That's what I mean. She was like an Internet special investigator, right,
Speaker 3: one of your people, Elizabeth, I don't know. After like
Speaker 3: seventeen minutes of Facebook sleuthing, she finds her evidence. And
Speaker 3: what do you think that evidence was?
Speaker 2: His Facebook base?
Speaker 3: Every friendly on the post she saw a photo of
Speaker 3: girlfriend number two. Okay, and girlfriend number two was wearing
Speaker 3: an engagement ring and a wedding band that looked nearly
Speaker 3: identical to her own.
Speaker 2: And a wedding band. Yeah wait, that looked it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: did he give her a wedding band?
Speaker 3: I don't know. She was one of two rings In fact, Nope,
Speaker 3: it was her engagement ring and her wedding band.
Speaker 2: So he was engaged number one.
Speaker 3: No, you're about to find out.
Speaker 2: I'm so lost.
Speaker 3: Yes, he was engaged in number one and engaged number two.
Speaker 3: The ring that he given to number two was a
Speaker 3: ring that number one had from her previous marriage. Thus
Speaker 3: the wedding band messy. So he stolen her ring and
Speaker 3: used it to propose to girlfriend number two, wedding band
Speaker 3: and all. She's like, whatever, here's two rings. You're like
Speaker 3: that is better than one. So girlfriend number one she
Speaker 3: runs checks or jewelry box. Indeed, the ring is missing.
Speaker 3: It is her ring, so she now has proof. Right,
Speaker 3: so she her man Joe Brown has given it to
Speaker 3: girlfriend number two. So what is she gonna do with
Speaker 3: the evidence. Is she gonna go to him? No, she's smart.
Speaker 3: She doesn't go directly to old good for nothing Joe.
Speaker 3: She also doesn't go off full reality TV star. She
Speaker 3: doesn't things like a human being and like an adult Elizabeth.
Speaker 3: She plans to get revenge. Right, she goes. She contacts
Speaker 3: girlfriend number two on Facebook. She calmly explains the situation
Speaker 3: to girl friend number two that they engage her ring
Speaker 3: and the wedding band on her finger belonged to her
Speaker 3: and so then also, by the way, the man that
Speaker 3: she is engaged to is also engaged to her. Therefore
Speaker 3: they are both engaged to the worthless, lying, trifling, no
Speaker 3: good bum that would steal a wedding ring.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: She's like, that is bad news to hear, right. Girlfriend
Speaker 3: number two listens like I said, She's like, you mean,
Speaker 3: so you're telling me Marcus is engaged to you. She's like, no, no, Joe.
Speaker 3: And they eventually they figured out Joe as Marcus Marcus
Speaker 3: as Joe, and they got everything all sorted out and
Speaker 3: they confirmed they are indeed in both engaged to the Mary.
Speaker 3: This same guy, jarkis George. Yeah, jarkis. Now for number one,
Speaker 3: she tells girlfriend number two, you should probably go check
Speaker 3: your stuff make sure he hasn't stolen any of your stuff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, for number three, that's a good point.
Speaker 3: So she runs, she checks her stuff and good old
Speaker 3: good for nothing Joe had indeed rob from her too.
Speaker 3: Oh no, So she then girlfriend uh number two ask
Speaker 3: girl forrid number one, do you live in Orange City,
Speaker 3: and then she says the address of the house that
Speaker 3: Marcus took her to, and she's like, yeah, that's my house.
Speaker 3: And girlfriend too is like I knew it. I knew
Speaker 3: that low down lazy ass had taken me to he
Speaker 3: had the nerve to take me to someone else's house.
Speaker 3: So they go back and forth. No, you're looking at
Speaker 3: me a little strange. Yeah, you hear Orange City and
Speaker 3: you may be wondering, Saren, did this happen in Florida?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 3: Yes, yes he did. Eliza Florida going to Florida, right,
Speaker 3: So anyway, equally incense. These two women, these two score
Speaker 3: and women, they're about to drop their wrath and so
Speaker 3: they decide let's team up on them, so they get
Speaker 3: their revenge together. They go to the cops. They tell
Speaker 3: the cops all about Joe Marcus Brown, his sticky fingers,
Speaker 3: his free loving way. One of the fiancees she recalls
Speaker 3: this addresses. She's like, wait, I think he told me
Speaker 3: his cousin's address, or no, it's his niece. Right, So
Speaker 3: then the cops are, oh, he tell us the address.
Speaker 3: They contact the people who live at the address, They
Speaker 3: find his sister, his sisters like they show they have
Speaker 3: like local cops show a picture like do you know
Speaker 3: this man? She's like, oh, yeah, that's that's my brother,
Speaker 3: Joe Louis Davis. And they're like, Joe Louis Davis. Oh okay,
Speaker 3: So now they have his real name. Other than that,
Speaker 3: the sister was of no help. She's like, I don't
Speaker 3: know where he is.
Speaker 2: Yes, Joe Louis Davis.
Speaker 3: But no other meaningful assistance. Right, So the cops are like, okay,
Speaker 3: what are we gonna do? But they have his real identity.
Speaker 3: So now the the Lusa County Police and Sheriff's departments,
Speaker 3: they put on an alert for this suspect, and the
Speaker 3: check law enforcement databases, they discovered Joe Louis Davis quote
Speaker 3: had a record as a convicted fellon out of Oregon
Speaker 3: and North Carolina and has an active arrest warrant out
Speaker 3: of Oregon for a hit and run crash with injuries.
Speaker 2: Oh god.
Speaker 3: Not only that, he also had prior arrest for cocaine possession,
Speaker 3: filing a false police report, and possession of a fictitious ID.
Speaker 3: Oh lome all around class act. Right, But this is
Speaker 3: my favorite part from a booking in twenty fourteen the
Speaker 3: intake officer at the men's holding. They noted that Joe
Speaker 3: Louis Davis had a notable tattoo, because you know they
Speaker 3: take down your tattoos for identification. On his forearm was
Speaker 3: a big cross and the words only God can judge me.
Speaker 2: Boy.
Speaker 3: Now, I can find no records that Lewis Davis has
Speaker 3: ever been caught or convicted. Perhaps with his pension for
Speaker 3: fake id's he's still out there somewhere on the run,
Speaker 3: still the subject of God's judgment, ignoring the legal opinions
Speaker 3: of us are mortals.
Speaker 2: Only God can judge him, and God's.
Speaker 3: Judging rate judging heart by the way, you need that tattoo?
Speaker 2: Yeah no, anyways, but let's take a little.
Speaker 3: Break and after these messages, I'll tell you about the
Speaker 3: couple that stole a dream home for their dream wedding.
Speaker 3: Elizabeth Sar, What do you know about the International House
Speaker 3: of Pancakes?
Speaker 2: International House of Pancakes? They serve pancakes?
Speaker 3: Can we talk about I hop from don't they go
Speaker 3: by I hop Yes, that's what they changed their name.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been there. Okay, I like a good pancake,
Speaker 2: you do, right, sure?
Speaker 3: Well, much like me as a kid, I'm sure you
Speaker 3: did dream of going there.
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if I dreamt of it.
Speaker 3: Did you ever con family members into taking you there? No?
Speaker 2: They have all the different flavors of syrup right.
Speaker 3: Yes, strawberry, blueberry. But oh girl, have I got good
Speaker 3: news for you? Okay, the rudy, tooty, fresh and fruity
Speaker 3: is back.
Speaker 2: Stop it. Yes, I don't even know what it is,
Speaker 2: but I love it.
Speaker 3: I got even more good news. For just seven dollars,
Speaker 3: you can enjoy two fluffy buttermilk pancakes. I know you
Speaker 3: like those, And you can also get your choice of
Speaker 3: not one, not two, not three, but four fruity toppings,
Speaker 3: thus the rudy and the twoty. You also get two
Speaker 3: eggs your way, along with two strips of bacon crispy
Speaker 3: just the way you like it, Elizabeth NA or sausage
Speaker 3: links if you're leaning that one.
Speaker 2: I kind of want to have breakfast for dinner now, yeah, right.
Speaker 3: I do love just putting ideas in your head, but
Speaker 3: like you have the whole idea of like pancakes from
Speaker 3: around the world. I mean, yes, they had French toast
Speaker 3: and they had the Belgian waffles, but you know, they
Speaker 3: they had Swedish pancakes, German blintzes. Do you remember this?
Speaker 2: Not really?
Speaker 3: Okay, well they don't have that anymore. No taste change, Elizabeth, carbs,
Speaker 3: you know whatever things. Yea, So people now they have
Speaker 3: a Mexican trace let chest pancakes. Oh, interesting, have cinnastack pancakes.
Speaker 2: Where's that from?
Speaker 3: I don't know, double blueberry cinnistan cupcake pancakes.
Speaker 2: They also cupcake pancakes, yeah, like.
Speaker 3: With the little sprinkles and stuff. Oh yeah, and New
Speaker 3: York cheesecake pancakes. If you're into the whole fitness thing.
Speaker 3: They also have strawberry banana protein pancakes.
Speaker 2: But if you're into the whole fitness thing, you are
Speaker 2: not having breakfast.
Speaker 3: Well they also have if you're like me or a
Speaker 3: six year old, they also have chocolate chocolate chip pancakes.
Speaker 2: Chocolate chocolate.
Speaker 3: Yes, it's chocolate pancakes with chocolate chip, not the old
Speaker 3: chocolate chip.
Speaker 2: It all has to be excessive.
Speaker 3: Well I will go there with or with you, Elizabeth.
Speaker 2: All right, maybe we can have it catered into the studio.
Speaker 3: No, I just want to let you know, like no
Speaker 3: one paid me to say any of this. I'm just
Speaker 3: a rudy, tooty, fresh and fruity kind of guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you kind of are.
Speaker 3: I'm pro pancakes.
Speaker 2: You're a little bit rudy.
Speaker 3: I want people to be happy, and that's what I
Speaker 3: hop is waffles.
Speaker 2: Waffles are good too.
Speaker 3: Did you know you can get I Hop syrup delivered
Speaker 3: to your home. Let's right now by the gallon. But no,
Speaker 3: that was on Reddit. This guy bought a gallon, but
Speaker 3: you can get twenty four ounce containers delivered to your home.
Speaker 2: Interesting.
Speaker 3: My point, Elizabeth is I hop You got.
Speaker 2: My point is now I want pancakes.
Speaker 3: I do actually have a point about this whole I
Speaker 3: Hop thing. It's I hop airs like the heirs to
Speaker 3: I Hop money.
Speaker 2: Fortunes, like Air Jordan's.
Speaker 3: Like rich kids who are adults, but they act like
Speaker 3: kids because they have I Hop bucks.
Speaker 2: Okay, the the scions.
Speaker 3: Of zions of wealth. Yes, there you go. One of
Speaker 3: them lives and you guessed it Florida. His name Nathan Finkel,
Speaker 3: Nathan Finkle. Yes, this story also takes place in twenty
Speaker 3: twenty one, not related to the previous Florida story. Just
Speaker 3: a hot year for marriages.
Speaker 2: You know what's interesting is that for Thursday's episode, I
Speaker 2: too am doing a compendium, and I too have things
Speaker 2: that took place in the same year, but no connection. Wow,
Speaker 2: we're always on this weird wavelength.
Speaker 3: I know you vibe with me.
Speaker 2: I vibe with you, totally vibe.
Speaker 3: So this cat his name Nathan Finkel right man. Does
Speaker 3: he have a nice home? All right? This property that
Speaker 3: he lives in or owned at the time sixteen thousand
Speaker 3: square feet.
Speaker 2: Wow, this is huge compound.
Speaker 3: Had a grand ballroom but not just that, had a dance.
Speaker 2: Studio, he's five six.
Speaker 3: It had a movie theater.
Speaker 2: Oh wow.
Speaker 3: It had a two lane bowling alley. It had a
Speaker 3: two story gentleman's bar. Wait, gentleman's bar like with lots
Speaker 3: of wood, yes, exactly, but but more wood. It had
Speaker 3: an elevator because why not lighted tennis court if you're
Speaker 3: in to that, like nighttime.
Speaker 2: Tennis, that'd be fun night time tennis.
Speaker 3: New one. But there's also a huge pool in hot tub,
Speaker 3: because you got to have a huge pool in hot tub,
Speaker 3: long rolling lawns, gardens everywhere. You would have loved it, right,
Speaker 3: little ponds with scenic walkways and get this. There was
Speaker 3: also like an entrance trail that leads to the house,
Speaker 3: super long entrance traiale. The home boasts all these stained
Speaker 3: glass windows. You would love it. Twenty nineteen, the home
Speaker 3: was listed for sale for five points seven million dollars
Speaker 3: just seal. Nowadays, I think that same house is a
Speaker 3: few years later post pandemic would be I think ten
Speaker 3: trillion dollars. I think, because I didn't look it up.
Speaker 2: But he goes much mill I don't know. I won't
Speaker 2: get you that. In California, you.
Speaker 3: Know, you get a three bedroom home right in and
Speaker 3: see you.
Speaker 2: Know, you get a cute little bungalow exactly.
Speaker 3: So this dude, Nathan, he buys his mansion with his
Speaker 3: father's millions because his father made all of his money
Speaker 3: as an early in franchisee with IHOP. Oh yeah, now
Speaker 3: do you see what an international pancakes for?
Speaker 2: Ye yes, I mean here we're cracking up about the
Speaker 2: home price and I'm laughing in home rentershit.
Speaker 3: Both of us. Anyway, one day, this guy he dropped
Speaker 3: by the Finkel mansion, right, and he was there to
Speaker 3: attend an open house because the house was being listed
Speaker 3: for sale. Right. So he's having this open house having
Speaker 3: people come through and say, oh do you want to
Speaker 3: look at my two story gentlemen, bar this could be
Speaker 3: yours right right? And then he acted this guy who
Speaker 3: stopped by in the house. He acted like a prospective buyer.
Speaker 3: He took the tour of the home, the surrounding grounds,
Speaker 3: whatever he saw. It just stuck with him because he decides,
Speaker 3: I want to get married here, right. So a few
Speaker 3: months later he phones the family. He's like, finkeels, Hi,
Speaker 3: I came buy the house a couple months back. I
Speaker 3: was wondering, would you mind if like one hundred and
Speaker 3: fifty or so of my friends and family used your
Speaker 3: mansion for a weekend wedding. What do you say?
Speaker 2: Huh? Well, I mean there are people who rent their
Speaker 2: homes out totally, a.
Speaker 3: Lot of them right, especially out here in California, but
Speaker 3: they can't afford their homes, so they're like, help us
Speaker 3: afford the home. So anyway, Finko reportedly listened to the
Speaker 3: man's wedding plans. He's like, oh, you want to use
Speaker 3: the house? Okay? And how many one hundred and fifty people?
Speaker 3: And he's like absolutely not, No, don't ever come your
Speaker 3: hair again, No, don't call me right. So the groom,
Speaker 3: though Elizabeth undaunted. He's like, this is just a mere
Speaker 3: stumbling block, a speed bump, if you will, on the
Speaker 3: road of my dreams. A dream had been born that day, Elizabeth,
Speaker 3: when he took that tour. He had to take his
Speaker 3: wedding there. He could be anything else to be unsatisfactory, right,
Speaker 3: I mean you got to see this place. Look at
Speaker 3: this place. Wouldn't you want to get married here if
Speaker 3: you were into unchecked opulence and gagging displays of wealth? Like,
Speaker 3: how would you describe this home? It's just it looks
Speaker 3: like something somebody like.
Speaker 2: If a mcm was like tumorous and then just kept
Speaker 2: expanding and carbuncles? What is the what in the whatting glass? Like?
Speaker 3: Just it's huge, right, it looks.
Speaker 2: Like a dreams because here's the thing, like, how many
Speaker 2: people are living in this house?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I think there's only a family, Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2: And this you think of all the people that could
Speaker 2: be housed in this complex, it's like the size of
Speaker 2: a hotel. This is such waste. This is why we
Speaker 2: this is why I can't have nice that home.
Speaker 3: You just need to start, you know, an I hot franchise.
Speaker 2: This is so ostentatious and it's so it's just wasteful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, insane, right, but.
Speaker 2: Because think about the heating like HVAC for that, or
Speaker 2: the lights, the water bill.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, good point. In Florida, it's muggy, so you're
Speaker 3: running air conditioning twenty four to.
Speaker 2: Seven sometimes, and you've got you've got the pool. And
Speaker 2: think of all the maintenance people, like they're not cleaning
Speaker 2: their own house. They have housem while they are like
Speaker 2: supporting the economy. I suppose God the cost of that.
Speaker 2: I wonder he's moving well.
Speaker 3: Cut to April seventeenth, twenty twenty one. The bride and
Speaker 3: groom have opted for an early afternoon wedding. They've selected
Speaker 3: three thirty PM as the time for their wedding. The
Speaker 3: invitations they send out tell their guests to please join
Speaker 3: them at the Wilson's Estate, which is the name of
Speaker 3: the groom and soon to be the bride. They casually
Speaker 3: referred to this as their home right, so as it reads,
Speaker 3: it is quote, it is our honor to welcome you
Speaker 3: into our dream home and estate to share this special
Speaker 3: occasion with us. We are excited to celebrate our wedding
Speaker 3: night with you and look forward to a wonderful evening
Speaker 3: of celebration, exquisite feast and dancing at our royal extravaganza.
Speaker 2: It sounds like royal medieval celebrate our wedding night with you, Like,
Speaker 2: whoa up here? I'm there for the ceremony of the
Speaker 2: reception that I am out?
Speaker 3: Yeah, which one of us is the lord of this land?
Speaker 3: So the wedding invitation brought, Elizabeth. They promise that following
Speaker 3: the ceremony, guess would be ushered inside for quote a
Speaker 3: red carpet cocktail hour. Whatever that is.
Speaker 2: Well, and think about it, like if you know this person,
Speaker 2: Like if a friend of mine gave me this invitation
Speaker 2: like this and said it are at our home, and
Speaker 2: be like, who are you fooling? Like I don't know
Speaker 2: any of them who lives in a house? Like that.
Speaker 3: You secret, Elizabeth when the lottery didn't tell me. So this,
Speaker 3: by the way, after the red carpet cocktail hour, that
Speaker 3: would be followed by a reception proper and the party
Speaker 3: would keep on rocking until two thirty in the morning.
Speaker 3: So don't come a knocking. But that wasn't the end
Speaker 3: of the party, no, sir, because guests were invited back
Speaker 3: to the Wilson's estate. The next day, for quote a
Speaker 3: wonderful Sunday brunch that would feature and I quote delicacies
Speaker 3: from our renowned chef on our resort style pool, while
Speaker 3: being entertained by the sounds of a live jazz band.
Speaker 2: The reason why no one's like, how did you kiddl.
Speaker 3: You guys can could afford a jazz band. So the
Speaker 3: reason why the soon to be Wilson's were going out
Speaker 3: all out on their big day was that they wanted
Speaker 3: to mark the specialness of their love story. You see, Elizabeth,
Speaker 3: the soon to be newlyweds, they met back in high school.
Speaker 3: They were in the same graduating class. Both were jocks.
Speaker 3: She was quote very focused on pursuing her dreams of
Speaker 3: a college scholarship, and he was a football player and
Speaker 3: something of a bad boy. So, you know, their roads
Speaker 3: diverged in the woods, and over time, these two crazy kids,
Speaker 3: they drift apart, They lose track inside of you each other. However,
Speaker 3: fate stepped in, played a hand, and thirty years later
Speaker 3: they're now in their late forties. Somehow, some way, they
Speaker 3: found each other again. Sarendipity, Elizabeth. They called it, quote
Speaker 3: the Lord's plan now to bring the soon to be
Speaker 3: newlyweds back together, to quote the couple. Nevertheless, as fate
Speaker 3: would have it, we were divinely reconnected after thirty years.
Speaker 3: I had just ended a five years relationship and he
Speaker 3: a twenty year marriage. Now, God truly works in mysterious ways.
Speaker 2: Listening, judging. He's out here finaggling relationships.
Speaker 3: It's remarkable, it's amazing. And then there's a little thing
Speaker 3: called a pandemic that offered up a speed bump to
Speaker 3: their relationship in God's plans, but it didn't prevent their
Speaker 3: love from growing and deepening. Finally, on Christmas Eve twenty twenty,
Speaker 3: he proposed to her. As she recalled in the wedding invitation,
Speaker 3: he took me and the children out riding to see
Speaker 3: Christmas lights when we stopped for pizza at al Capone's
Speaker 3: on Hollywood Beach.
Speaker 2: Stop the invitation.
Speaker 3: Yes, but it gets better, Elizabeth. She goes on to say,
Speaker 3: he asked me to take a photo with him. Well,
Speaker 3: he was secretly planning to propose in the snapshot. What
Speaker 3: a magical moment. You're there in the al Capone's Pizza
Speaker 3: place in Hollywood Beach, Florida.
Speaker 2: Was wonderful.
Speaker 3: God had more and sore for them.
Speaker 2: It's not even just that he proposed in the Alky
Speaker 2: Pizza in Hollywood, Florida. She puts the story in the wedding.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, but that's not all. There's more going down
Speaker 3: in the al Capone's Pizza I need because they're in
Speaker 3: the al Capone's Pizza place in Hollywood Beach, Florida. God
Speaker 3: spoke to them, you see. According to the couple, that
Speaker 3: was the moment when quote the Lord had revealed to
Speaker 3: me the purpose of our encounter and answer to my prayer.
Speaker 3: All that was left to do now was for the
Speaker 3: couple to get married. So when he asked him, Finkel
Speaker 3: had said, no, they couldn't use his mansion as a
Speaker 3: backdrop for their sainted.
Speaker 2: Lovers, even if the event catered by Alcone Pizza. And
Speaker 2: I'll let you be there like al Capone.
Speaker 3: Are you sure? Have you tried it in Hollywood Beach?
Speaker 3: But that cat Finkle, he didn't understand. Like the Blues Brothers,
Speaker 3: this couple was on a mission from God and they
Speaker 3: were going to get married at this mansion. Whether he
Speaker 3: liked it.
Speaker 2: Or not is certainly God and like it is Christ's
Speaker 2: like behavior to steal someone's home, very Christ.
Speaker 3: Like he was known for that and walking on water.
Speaker 3: It's like the two things. So I don't know if
Speaker 3: that was part of the plan God revealed to them
Speaker 3: and al Capone's pizza place in Hollywood Beach, Florida, it
Speaker 3: might have been. I wasn't there. Anyway, The couple plans
Speaker 3: their wedding, Then they arranged catering. They hired the live
Speaker 3: jazz band I imagine or whatever. Then lastly, they invite
Speaker 3: all their friends and family to join them at the
Speaker 3: finkel Mansion or say the Wilson's Mistakes for their big day.
Speaker 3: Now smash cut to the morning of the ceremony. The
Speaker 3: groom and his bride arrive at the Finkele Mansion. I
Speaker 3: guess they planned to prepare the site for their wedding,
Speaker 3: but they were surprised to find that the house, although
Speaker 3: listed for sale, was not unoccupied, not like the groom
Speaker 3: had hoped. Instead, someone was home, and that's someone was
Speaker 3: the home owner. Oh No, Most importantly, he had not
Speaker 3: heard anything from God about this wedding. So let's go
Speaker 3: there now, Elizabeth, Oh, Elizabeth, I'd like you to close
Speaker 3: your eyes. Picture is It's a lovely April day in Florida.
Speaker 3: There's a slight onshore breeze that's blowing the fragrance of
Speaker 3: flowers through the air. There's that soft throb of insects
Speaker 3: in the distance. Occasionally a seabird takes wing and flies
Speaker 3: up into the sky, which at the moment is a
Speaker 3: light blue. But since it's floored, the skies and the
Speaker 3: weather could change in any moments, so don't get too
Speaker 3: attached to it. But right now it's an idyllic April morning.
Speaker 3: You are in the town of Southwest Ranches. This Miami
Speaker 3: suburb is located north and east of the sprawling city.
Speaker 3: It's up there on the eastern edge of the Everglades
Speaker 3: where the land once again turns sandy and dry. It's
Speaker 3: called Southwest Ranches to honor the many horse ranches in
Speaker 3: the area. There are countless equestrian trails that run throughout
Speaker 3: the suburban, semi rural yet upscale development. It's a relatively newtown,
Speaker 3: by the way, It was incorporated in two thousand, if
Speaker 3: you were wondering, Oh, that's when the people elected their
Speaker 3: first town council, led by Mayor Fink. That's Mayor Mecca Fink,
Speaker 3: along with Vice Mayor Dollar that's Johnny Dollar like the
Speaker 3: old RADI show. The other council members are Astor Knight,
Speaker 3: Forrest Blanton, and Freddie Phisickelli. These names right, they sound
Speaker 3: like it was founded, but it was written for a
Speaker 3: mystery novel in Florida total. Anyway, Southwest Ranches is a
Speaker 3: Florida development, if ever there were one, and also for
Speaker 3: such a small area in a rural place, the town
Speaker 3: boasts a very super interesting list of notable people on
Speaker 3: its Wikipedia page. For instance, there are a number of
Speaker 3: former and current NFL stars who live there, like your
Speaker 3: man Tyreek Hill of the Miami Dolphins, also former Indianapolis
Speaker 3: Cults great Reggie Wayne and former Minnesota Viking quarterback Dante Culpepper,
Speaker 3: but also the Rock Dwane Johnson, and perhaps most notably,
Speaker 3: the former television psychic Miss Cleo.
Speaker 2: Wait so the Rock and Miss Cleo.
Speaker 3: Also, all of these people have called Southwest Ranches home
Speaker 3: at one time or another, and at the moment, so
Speaker 3: do you. Because you are a bright white bird, the
Speaker 3: western cattle egret, you are a type of heron. You're
Speaker 3: a white feather, but you also have brilliant yellow feathers
Speaker 3: for your plumage stock. The fields and streams of Florida,
Speaker 3: picking off insects between the hoofs of the cattle as
Speaker 3: they graze, or you hop up on their backs and
Speaker 3: nab ticks from their hides. You migrated to Southwest ranches
Speaker 3: from your old home and the dry tortugas off the
Speaker 3: coast of Florida. The cattle here are good for a
Speaker 3: steady diet of bugs and grubs. Anyway, you're presently standing
Speaker 3: on the back of a cow as the gentle beast
Speaker 3: grazes at the fence line. Standing there just across the
Speaker 3: street from the gate to the Finkle Mansion. You are
Speaker 3: not picking ticks at the moment, though, because you have
Speaker 3: a show. A car pulls up and a man in
Speaker 3: a rented tuxedo and a woman in a wedding dress
Speaker 3: get out. The man tells his bride to wait at
Speaker 3: the gate. She sits on the hood of the car
Speaker 3: while he attempts to pry open the tall gates to
Speaker 3: stand guard at the driveway or the Finkle mansion. You're like,
Speaker 3: what is going on here? The Finkel Mansion is one
Speaker 3: of the most impressive spreads in the area. The place
Speaker 3: has great bugs, and today it also offers up a
Speaker 3: great show. You watches the groom tries to figure out
Speaker 3: a way to pry open the gates. You have serious
Speaker 3: doubts he can do this. Then so does the bride,
Speaker 3: it seems anyway. You spy a golf cart approaching from
Speaker 3: the main house. Oh man, man, it's about to get good.
Speaker 3: The tuxedoed groom is still attempting to open the gate.
Speaker 3: He's got a screwdriver and he's shoved it between the
Speaker 3: two tall iron doors of the gate, and he's trying
Speaker 3: to force the lock open by hand. The wannabe groom
Speaker 3: pauses when he and the bride both spot the golf
Speaker 3: cart bearing down on them from the other side of
Speaker 3: the gate. You spread your wings and take a quick
Speaker 3: few flaps, you know, just to get a better view
Speaker 3: and to be able to hear everything. Because it's about
Speaker 3: it get so good. You land on the fence that
Speaker 3: runs alongside the gate. The golf cart pulls to a
Speaker 3: squealing stop. A late middled age man hops out. He's
Speaker 3: dressed in white slacks, a golf shirt, and a sweater.
Speaker 3: He looks like a character from like a nineteen sixty
Speaker 3: sitcom about the wealthy. The tuxedoed groom greets him, good afternoon, sir.
Speaker 3: Just what do you think you're doing? The man replies
Speaker 3: his words, they come hot and fast, getting married today.
Speaker 3: It's a blessed day. The man answers, what about you?
Speaker 3: I own this place, This is my home. What do
Speaker 3: you mean today?
Speaker 2: If it's today?
Speaker 3: What are you two doing out here? You shouldn't you
Speaker 3: be in a church? The homeowner shouts back to the gate,
Speaker 3: We say where, we're getting married here? The wannabee groom
Speaker 3: helpfully planes the homeowner. He may be dressed soft, but
Speaker 3: he talks tough wear here here, here, No, no, no,
Speaker 3: you two are not getting married here. This is a
Speaker 3: private residence. You are loving this. This is like a
Speaker 3: Fellini film set in Florida. The groom responds, His voice
Speaker 3: is calm, almost too calm. No, you see, we are
Speaker 3: getting married here today. We didn't think you were home.
Speaker 3: Would have been much easier if you weren't here. But
Speaker 3: if you'd like, we'd love to have you join our wedding.
Speaker 3: The golf lover, he looks at the bride on the
Speaker 3: hood of the car. Is he high? What's he talking about?
Speaker 3: If you could laugh, you would, but instead you just
Speaker 3: got a bird chuckle to yourself, and the homeowner says,
Speaker 3: you and people need to leave, and the groom he
Speaker 3: ain't hearing it. He just says, no, you see, you
Speaker 3: don't understand. It was God's message that we be married here.
Speaker 3: God spoke unto me and he said, I don't give
Speaker 3: a tanker's damn what God said. I'm calling nine to
Speaker 3: one one. Homeowner shouts back, and with that he whips
Speaker 3: out his phone and indeed phones nine to one one
Speaker 3: operator answers. Homeowner tells the emergency operator. Yeah, hello, I
Speaker 3: have people trespassing on by property. They keep harassed. They're
Speaker 3: saying there they're having a wedding here, and it's God's
Speaker 3: message and I don't know what's going on. All I
Speaker 3: want is to stop. And they're sitting at my property
Speaker 3: right here at the front gate. Yes, right now, please
Speaker 3: send police. You flap your wings again, lift up and
Speaker 3: then gently land on the other side of the gate.
Speaker 3: You gaze down at the wannabe groom. You look over
Speaker 3: at the bride. You look back the groom. He should
Speaker 3: be embarrassed or annoyed something. Instead he's just smiling. He
Speaker 3: looks back. You'll see it's God's plan that we're gonna
Speaker 3: be married here. You'll see. Don't you worry, baby, We're
Speaker 3: getting married here now soon enough patrol car rides. Two
Speaker 3: officers step out, have to tell the wannabe groom and
Speaker 3: his wannabe bride they will indeed be no wedding at
Speaker 3: the final mansion. SI's no, no actual trespassing. Accurd Elizabeth,
Speaker 3: your fraudulent wedding occurred. No charges were filed against the
Speaker 3: wannabe groom or his bride. Now, if you're wondering what
Speaker 3: the groom had to say after God fell through for
Speaker 3: him and the wedding planning, the Miami Son Sentinel caught
Speaker 3: up to the disappointed groom and a reporter asked him
Speaker 3: for comment. He said, and I quote, I don't want
Speaker 3: to talk about it. The Miami Son Sentinel. They also
Speaker 3: followed up in the couple's nuptial plans the courting to
Speaker 3: the Broward County Public records, there was a marriage license
Speaker 3: issued to the couple for that wedding weekend, but the
Speaker 3: following weekend there was no registration of a marriage So
Speaker 3: speed bumping anyway?
Speaker 2: Does she know?
Speaker 3: It?
Speaker 2: Sounds like she didn't know that it didn't.
Speaker 3: I think she knew that's a little maybe they were
Speaker 3: waiting a new venue from their divine wedding planner. I
Speaker 3: don't know what's going down, but anyway, let's take her
Speaker 3: a little break and I'll be back with another wedding tale.
Speaker 3: This one will melt your mind. I swear to God,
Speaker 3: because this time it's the bride who gets stolen. Elizabeth Zaren,
Speaker 3: We're back.
Speaker 2: Hi.
Speaker 3: I almost didn't tell you this one. Oh yeah. I
Speaker 3: was like, is this story too insane? He driving miss
Speaker 3: daisies for even Elizabeth?
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 3: Oh yeah? And then I thought, well, what would Elizabeth say?
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, she would say who knows?
Speaker 2: Who cares?
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I'm doing it, so buckle up, Buttercup.
Speaker 3: It's about it all kinds of weird. All right, here's
Speaker 3: the headline. I'll just tell you the headline. I was stolen,
Speaker 3: so my real dad and my abductor walked me down
Speaker 3: the aisle. I.
Speaker 2: Oh, I'm breaking it down right now. Give me a second.
Speaker 3: Okay, doing the math on that one happened? Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: one too many dads, so I can pay in the aisle.
Speaker 2: I'm stuck on. I was stolen, Yes, that's what we
Speaker 2: call it.
Speaker 3: Yes, and the abductor being invited to the wedding. Anyway,
Speaker 3: So the story goes, this bride wanted the husband of
Speaker 3: the woman who abducted her as a baby to be
Speaker 3: able to walk her down the aisle because he'd raised
Speaker 3: her and he was a good.
Speaker 2: Father husband of the woman who her Okay, yeah.
Speaker 3: He raised her as he basically was her father as
Speaker 3: far as she knew for all.
Speaker 2: And he didn't did he know she was abducted?
Speaker 3: I couldn't shut from the news stories. I would find
Speaker 3: it hard to believe he didn't know, Like, how is
Speaker 3: it that your wife is not pregnant and suddenly she
Speaker 3: comes home with a baby.
Speaker 2: Maybe he was like his daughter, Maybe he thought.
Speaker 3: That maybe he was working on an oil Derek and
Speaker 3: he came home nine months later.
Speaker 2: Were they married when she abducted the kid? Because something
Speaker 2: in like what if she abducted them? And then a
Speaker 2: year later is like good point he meets and marries
Speaker 2: him and he has no clue.
Speaker 3: Well I'll tell you this much. Okay, she the daughter
Speaker 3: wanted him there, so we're just going off. So yeah,
Speaker 3: well yeah, anyway, this isn't old news. This is from
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three. Oh yeah, and this happened in South Africa.
Speaker 3: The bride's name is Mika Zephanie Sheldon. I love that name,
Speaker 3: Zephanie Zephanie. Anyway. She's twenty six at the time and
Speaker 3: from Cape Town. She selected an autumn wedding for herself.
Speaker 3: They were to be married on March twenty first, a Hemisphere. Yes, okay.
Speaker 3: She'd been involved in a long term relationship before. She
Speaker 3: had two kids, a girl and a boy, but the
Speaker 3: couple split up. Then some time passed, she meets this
Speaker 3: guy named Justin. He's a teacher. The two met at church.
Speaker 3: They hit it off. He's kind, he's loving, He's like
Speaker 3: no one she's known before. He's phenomenal. They date for
Speaker 3: two years. They decided to get married. Now he knew
Speaker 3: that there'd be issues before wedding, but he'd always been
Speaker 3: very supportive and he knew her story. She'd shared with
Speaker 3: him about her abduction as a newborn, so he knew
Speaker 3: the whole deal. Anyway, about that, About the abduction the
Speaker 3: story here. Sheldon was born April twenty seven, nineteen ninety seven.
Speaker 3: Three days later, she was stolen from her hospital crib,
Speaker 3: spirit away from the maternity ward right. The woman who
Speaker 3: stole her was his named LaVona Solomon. She was unable
Speaker 3: to get pregnant. She ate away at her till one
Speaker 3: day she was willing to do something desperate and cruel
Speaker 3: to make her dreams of motherhood come true. Right, So
Speaker 3: she goes in. She sneaks and dressed as a nurse,
Speaker 3: she steals another woman's child, another mother's child, and actually
Speaker 3: just a mother's child, and raises this so as her own,
Speaker 3: right along with her husband Michael. Now that the daughter
Speaker 3: never knew, never suspected that she was not their biological child.
Speaker 3: All she ever knew was a loving home.
Speaker 2: Sure, three days old.
Speaker 3: Everything's changes when she's in high school. Right, The year
Speaker 3: is twenty fifteen. New student transfers to her high school
Speaker 3: exciting fun girl. Her name's Cassidy. The two girls kind
Speaker 3: of look similar, I mean, like real similar. People start
Speaker 3: making comments about it. Eventually, people like the staff like, like,
Speaker 3: there's a social worker schools like I think you two
Speaker 3: may be related. They're like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3: Like you could be sisters, right, And they're like okay.
Speaker 3: Eventually the social workers like, I can get you a
Speaker 3: DNA test, right, Well, we can run some DNA tests
Speaker 3: and see if you two are related. They do, right,
Speaker 3: and the girls like, yeah, sure, let's do it. They
Speaker 3: take the test. It comes back conclusive. They aren't just related,
Speaker 3: They're not cousins. They are sisters, full biological sisters, same parents.
Speaker 3: Whoa how could that be? Right before? That's what they're wondering. Right,
Speaker 3: this is the beginning of the end of the big
Speaker 3: lie of her life, right. So, and also it's the
Speaker 3: beginning of the Sheldon's new family. So these are the
Speaker 3: two sisters. You can see how they would recognize each
Speaker 3: other instantly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3: So after that, later that same year, February twenty fifteen,
Speaker 3: Sheldon met Cassidy's mom and dad, her mom and dad,
Speaker 3: and it did not go well. Sheldon said, quote, it
Speaker 3: was extremely difficult because you've grown up thinking this is
Speaker 3: your family. I mean, she says this, she means her
Speaker 3: other parents, so the abductors of the bone Michael, So
Speaker 3: she though still felt that they were her parents, like
Speaker 3: in her heart of hearts, those are her parents. She's
Speaker 3: got these other people are now in her life, and
Speaker 3: she's like, this is weird. So, as she says, and
Speaker 3: I'll put in her words, quote meeting my biological parents,
Speaker 3: there wasn't that connection. I was looking for it, but
Speaker 3: it just wasn't there. In the beginning. I had been
Speaker 3: raised by LaVona and Michael my whole life. Right. So
Speaker 3: time is supposed to heal all wounds, but it sometimes
Speaker 3: it may take more time than a human lifetime will hold. Right. So,
Speaker 3: Sheldon's birth parents could not forgive nor forget what Sheldon's
Speaker 3: other parents had done all those years ago when they
Speaker 3: stole their child from the hospital, and.
Speaker 2: Those years of not knowing what and.
Speaker 3: As as Sheldon blithely put it, both families were just
Speaker 3: so harsh with each other. She's trapped in the middle.
Speaker 3: She anyway, she wants to get married and she wants
Speaker 3: both of her families there. That made things super awkward, right,
Speaker 3: And I should point out LaVona, the mother abductor, she
Speaker 3: was not invited to the wedding. Sheldon cut her out
Speaker 3: of her life, and after she learned.
Speaker 2: The truth, was she doing time.
Speaker 3: She was arrested, tried, convicted and it was only ten
Speaker 3: year sentence.
Speaker 2: OK.
Speaker 3: So she couldn't go to the wedding even she was
Speaker 3: invited anyway. The father, Michael, he was free and she
Speaker 3: wanted him at the wedding. So, as Sheldon put it, quote,
Speaker 3: I really had to adjust to having two different dads
Speaker 3: in my life, but I knew i'd want them both
Speaker 3: walking me down the aisle whenever I got married. Now,
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, I do not know how you do that.
Speaker 3: I mean, I'm just not that forgiving. Like, I'm not
Speaker 3: speaking as her I've never I've never been married. I'm
Speaker 3: talking as the father. Right, you steal my child. You
Speaker 3: were not invited to their wedding. Yeah, that's just a
Speaker 3: drowned rule. Like, there's no way I walked down the
Speaker 3: aisle with the man who stole my child, and you're like, yeah,
Speaker 3: this is cool.
Speaker 2: Was the world pals?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean look at us Mader family.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: No, so her biological dad. He looked at things similarly
Speaker 3: to how I look at him, and he was like
Speaker 3: hell no, right, she told him, But Daddy, I really
Speaker 3: want you to be there. He's like or whatever she
Speaker 3: called him, He's like, no, I am not into this. Right.
Speaker 3: As Sheldon put it, quote, my biological dad wasn't too
Speaker 3: happy at first, but this day was all about me,
Speaker 3: my relationship with my husband, and eventually he said yes
Speaker 3: for me, it was a miracle, right, So the dude,
Speaker 3: he sucks it up, right, did you do that? No,
Speaker 3: there's no way I could, right, So anyway, so that's
Speaker 3: what they all did. They all swallow down this poison
Speaker 3: of the past. The bride can't be happier about how
Speaker 3: it's all playing out, right, Sheldon says, quote, it was
Speaker 3: such a beautiful day. I'm so glad my real dad
Speaker 3: opened to his heart to walk alongside the husband of
Speaker 3: my abductor down the aisle. Right now, if you can
Speaker 3: believe that this saint walking among us, she doesn't even
Speaker 3: have hate in her heart for the woman who stole
Speaker 3: her from the hospital, Sheldon said, and I quote, I
Speaker 3: don't see the mom who raised me as criminal and evil.
Speaker 3: Everyone just got hurt the process. We all just need
Speaker 3: to heal.
Speaker 2: She needs she's she's such a she's glossing. She's not
Speaker 2: a saint. She's not processing this properly.
Speaker 3: I don't know, dude, I thought that reading it. But
Speaker 3: I also think that she's just a better human being
Speaker 3: than I am, because I don't even approximate this level
Speaker 3: of forgiveness. She seems to be legitimately processing it. Maybe
Speaker 3: I'm wrong. I don't know anyway, this whole that thing,
Speaker 3: we just.
Speaker 2: Kind of got hurt, like you were abducted.
Speaker 3: Yes, but she also came from a loving home, so
Speaker 3: she doesn't feel that she was denied something I guess.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but if you know that, I mean it's a betrayal.
Speaker 3: Oh totally. It would take me five six, seven lifetimes
Speaker 3: of reincarnation to get close to being able to be
Speaker 3: this forgiven right. I am nowhere near it. I don't
Speaker 3: know anyway, micke Zephanie Sheldon. I will say you are
Speaker 3: an inspiration for me. Elizabeth questions you, but whatever, we
Speaker 3: have different opinions.
Speaker 2: If I'm the birth mother, oh my god, I'm just
Speaker 2: like outside their house.
Speaker 3: I didn't find her in the story. She was not
Speaker 3: mentioned so much. Oh, I don't know what.
Speaker 2: Maybe she has time now too exactly that's where it
Speaker 2: would be.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So Sheldon she inspired her two families to mend
Speaker 3: bridges and try to forgive right that that has not
Speaker 3: happened yet, but she's reported yet, quote that the relationship
Speaker 3: between my two families is improving. They do get along
Speaker 3: now we've all matured, realized we're a human and are
Speaker 3: finally coming to terms with what happened. We show mutual
Speaker 3: respect to one another, and we're all very understanding.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, could you know? No, I don't even know.
Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not sure like how I would process it, honestly,
Speaker 2: because then you do start to think about how she
Speaker 2: had another standpoint. I loved her in her.
Speaker 3: View, firs standpoint, I get everyone else's. If I was
Speaker 3: not the one who is my wedding and I just
Speaker 3: have I'm just seething in my own emotions, I would
Speaker 3: not be able to rapidly heal, to be able to
Speaker 3: be present for her wedding. I don't know if I
Speaker 3: could do that exactly that. So what's our ridiculous takeaway here?
Speaker 2: Ah yeah, yeay uh. Weddings many bring They bring out
Speaker 2: the worst in a lot of people.
Speaker 3: They really do. They bring up a lot of I
Speaker 3: think that's like they ratchet up the tension on people
Speaker 3: and then it causes some things to just spring out.
Speaker 2: Well, I think it's like twofold you have like the
Speaker 2: wedding industrial complex. It's just like everything is is like
Speaker 2: a money grab. And then also it kind of there's
Speaker 2: this this pressure societally that I see that people think
Speaker 2: that they have to do certain things for the ceremony
Speaker 2: and for the reception and for just the trappings of
Speaker 2: it and how you do everything.
Speaker 3: There's a certain capitalist judgment.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, and so you have to have it like
Speaker 2: at a country club. You're not country club people like
Speaker 2: you're not you know, you wouldn't normally do this kind
Speaker 2: of thing. So that's you know, it's a lot of
Speaker 2: pressure and it makes people do stupid stuff. But then
Speaker 2: you also have like the whole it's my special day.
Speaker 2: It's not your special bride zell and groups. It's two
Speaker 2: families coming together. It's not your special day that you
Speaker 2: want to be a princess. This isn't Halloween.
Speaker 3: What do you view a wedding as in terms of
Speaker 3: it's not your special day? What is?
Speaker 2: I think it's the celebration of the couple and it's
Speaker 2: two families coming together. Like no, it's an even you know, yeah,
Speaker 2: I always.
Speaker 3: Think of it's about the people who are there at
Speaker 3: the wedding more so than the bride. Yeah, because they
Speaker 3: already know.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like a gang initiation exactly.
Speaker 3: You're getting jumped into like whatever that is.
Speaker 2: On the other side, you're making a new filly is Saron,
Speaker 2: what's your ridiculous takeaway?
Speaker 3: That's it right there, you gang initiation. I like that
Speaker 3: you're getting jumped in. I'm taking that one away. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna start telling people that. It's like, Yo, man, I
Speaker 3: gotta go to this gang initiation. What do you mean
Speaker 3: it's a June gang initiation. I'm trying to pick out
Speaker 3: a suit. What are you talking about? Yeah, it's like
Speaker 3: the friend he made me go. We've known each other forever, agister,
Speaker 3: what are you talking about? Yeah, man, I'm getting jumped in. Well,
Speaker 3: he's getting jumped in, but I'm in the way. I'm
Speaker 3: in the jumping party.
Speaker 2: Watch it. We're the circle of people standing around watching
Speaker 2: it in.
Speaker 3: The jumping party. I'm I'm his best jumper. Anyway, that's
Speaker 3: my ridiculous takeaway, Beautiful Elizabeth. You want to hear a
Speaker 3: talk back? Oh yeah, Dave hit it. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: I want.
Speaker 5: Hey, guys, I just finished listening to your DeLorean episode,
Speaker 5: and I just want to give a special thank you
Speaker 5: to Zarin, especially your Margaret. Thatcher imitation made me giggle
Speaker 5: out loud like an idiot at the gym, and I
Speaker 5: had an entire gym full of people looking at me.
Speaker 5: I had to finish my workout and awkwardly slink away,
Speaker 5: but it was worth it, So thank.
Speaker 3: You all right? I always enjoy yeah most of the time. Anyway.
Speaker 3: You can always find us online Ridiculous Crime, Twitter, Instagram.
Speaker 3: We have website Ridiculous Crime dot com. We also like
Speaker 3: to talk backs like that one, so hit us up.
Speaker 3: Email us if you like Ridiculous Crime at gmail dot
Speaker 3: com and as always, thanks for listening. I'll catch you
Speaker 3: next crime. Ridiculous Crime is hosted by Elizabeth Dutton and
Speaker 3: Zaren Burnett, produced and edited by the Right Honorable Reverend
Speaker 3: Dave Houston. Research is by Marissa Bride, Zilla Brown and
Speaker 3: Andrea Love After lock up song Sharpened Too. Our theme
Speaker 3: song is by head Usher at the Royal Wedding Thomas
Speaker 3: Lee and wedding Caterer to the Stars Trap done the
Speaker 3: host wardrobe providing My Body five hundred. The executive producers
Speaker 3: are Ben Not Another Punch Bowlin' and Noel Can a
Speaker 3: bride wear a wedding dress that's brown? Ridicous Crime Say
Speaker 3: it one more Time?
Speaker 5: Giqus Crime.
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