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Speaker 1: Hi, everyone, Sophia Bush here. Welcome to Work in Progress,

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Speaker 1: where I talked to people who inspire me about how

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Speaker 1: they got to where they are and where they think

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Speaker 1: they're still going. I'm so excited for you all to

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Speaker 1: meet today's guest, Pamela Hunter. I first found out about

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Speaker 1: Pamela through her company. She started her own business called

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Speaker 1: Sheltered Co. And they make the most beautiful weighted blankets

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Speaker 1: and they're not only gorgeous to look at, but they're

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Speaker 1: very sustainable, which I love. I found out about her because,

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Speaker 1: as any of you who follow me on any of

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Speaker 1: the internets, no, I am obsessed with a weighted blanket.

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Speaker 1: And Pamela's story is just so inspiring. She is the

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Speaker 1: mother of three whose daughter was diagnosed with a sensory

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Speaker 1: processing disorder. She was inspired to find some thing that

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Speaker 1: would help her daughter sleep and stay calm while helping

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Speaker 1: to promote body regulation. And she created this blanket kind

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Speaker 1: of by accident in that quest, and that accident turned

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Speaker 1: her into an entrepreneur. So today she's going to tell

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Speaker 1: us about her journey. She's going to shed light on

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Speaker 1: invisible illnesses. They're way more common than you would think.

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Speaker 1: Pamela is so inspiring and I'm just really thrilled to

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Speaker 1: see what's ahead for Sheltered co Hi, I'm so excited

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Speaker 1: that you're here. Is it weird that I'm one of

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Speaker 1: your biggest internet fans and then I asked you to

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Speaker 1: come on my podcast? Uh? Weird? Yeah. I definitely like

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Speaker 1: sat downstairs for a few minutes and was thinking, Okay,

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Speaker 1: um wait, why am I here? And I'm like going

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Speaker 1: over your list of people that you've announced and already

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Speaker 1: done podcasts with, and I'm like, okay, yeah, no, I

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Speaker 1: mean not that many people know who I mean. Chelsea

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Speaker 1: Himler is right. And I definitely spent a couple of

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Speaker 1: days with my mom and I going back and forth

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Speaker 1: like naming off all the people and then Pamela Hunter

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Speaker 1: and everyone gets silent, like thanks moms. Your mom is funny.

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Speaker 1: And also, listen, some some things are happening in your

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Speaker 1: business world, and I don't think that will be the

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Speaker 1: reality for long. Oh my gosh. That's that terrifies me.

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Speaker 1: It's crazy because I'm I'm so outgoing and I'm really,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, confident in my own skin, and um,

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Speaker 1: I love I love being around people. I love talking

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Speaker 1: to people. I love planning events and all this, and

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Speaker 1: this took me by surprise, like I'm really honored to

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Speaker 1: be here. Well, thank you. So I should tell our

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Speaker 1: listeners because I'm referencing your business and I realized we

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Speaker 1: know what it is. And then I'm not telling all

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Speaker 1: of you at home. Sorry about that. I'll get there.

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Speaker 1: But you know me, you know I can be a

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Speaker 1: little easily distracted. So Pamela, you started Sheltered Co. Which

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Speaker 1: any of you guys at home who follows me on Instagram,

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Speaker 1: you know my love for a weighted blanket and you

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Speaker 1: are probably like, we get it. Shut up about the

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Speaker 1: weighted blankets. Sophia and Sheltered Co makes the most beautiful

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Speaker 1: weighted blankets and and I think what I was so

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Speaker 1: struck by is they look like those very Nordic, you know,

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Speaker 1: oversized looped like yeah, those techically like a knitted or

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Speaker 1: approche crochet, but they look very somewhere. Yeah, they have

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Speaker 1: that look. And and from many years ago, I have

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Speaker 1: a blanket like that and it's my favorite blanket in

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Speaker 1: the house. So when I think, because I look into

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Speaker 1: weighted blankets so often, yours came up. I was like, wait,

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Speaker 1: that looks like the Nordic blanket, except that it's a

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Speaker 1: weighted blanket. It felt like it, you know. I was like,

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Speaker 1: it's Christmas can wash it? Yes, I mean, it's a

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Speaker 1: wild thing. And and I just I have such a

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Speaker 1: genuinely excited response when I see women who started these

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Speaker 1: incredibly cool businesses that are you know, functional, that are

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Speaker 1: helping people be healthier, that have such beautiful design. So

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Speaker 1: I wanted you to come and talk about it with me.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, thank you so much. Yeah, oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: So can you can you tell everyone at home listening

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Speaker 1: what your company is and and how this journey began,

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Speaker 1: or maybe what the company is, and then we'll talk

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Speaker 1: a little weighted blanket science and then we'll get into

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Speaker 1: journey stuff because I have more questions about that. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so I know there there's so much. So I created

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Speaker 1: a handmade sustainable weighted blanket that is produced in Los Angeles,

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Speaker 1: and it's made by a team of very close women,

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Speaker 1: and we we make them in a warehouse in boil

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Speaker 1: Heights actually, and there we only use dead stock fabrics,

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Speaker 1: So we only use fabrics that are already out there

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Speaker 1: in the world, that have already been created. I decided

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Speaker 1: early on that if I was going to start making

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Speaker 1: these for people, that I wasn't going to have anything produced.

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Speaker 1: I was going to use what was already in existence,

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Speaker 1: and some companies already doing that. They're using dead stock

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Speaker 1: or over stock fabrics, and I love it. And for me,

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Speaker 1: it's more of a lifestyle since I've been a stylist

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Speaker 1: and i was a vintage buyer and so I'm all

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Speaker 1: about recycled clothing and circular fashion and all that. So

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Speaker 1: it was, I don't know, it was really important to me,

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Speaker 1: and it's a huge part of the story. So they're

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Speaker 1: not just weighted blankets, they're not just beautiful, they're not

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Speaker 1: just easy to wash in the machine, but they're they're

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Speaker 1: also think that they're also sustainable. So yeah, it was important,

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Speaker 1: and I'm so glad that we're sticking with it, although

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Speaker 1: sometimes I'm like, man, it would be easy just to

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Speaker 1: place in order for the color I want and not

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Speaker 1: have to like go warehouse to warehouse to warehouse or

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Speaker 1: company to company asking if they have over stock or

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Speaker 1: dead stock. So yeah, it has this challenge, but I'm

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Speaker 1: so glad that we're doing it. I love though, that

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Speaker 1: you can acknowledge the challenges and also acknowledge that it's

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Speaker 1: still possible to work within the parameters you've set for yourself.

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Speaker 1: I think that on a larger scale, it's actually a

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Speaker 1: really inspiring reminder that we're all very capable of making

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Speaker 1: changes to the way that we live that might require

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Speaker 1: a tiny bit more effort, but are very sustainable in

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Speaker 1: the long run and also very impactful for the planet. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we need to get our ship together. And I know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I mean that was really important to me. I have

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Speaker 1: three children, and I became a mom really young, so

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Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't get to go to school. I

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Speaker 1: got pregnant when I was seventeen years old, so I've

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Speaker 1: been a mom for more than half my life. But

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Speaker 1: it's important for me to want to do things that

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Speaker 1: are going to help my kids in their future here

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Speaker 1: and like keep this planet here. And you got into

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Speaker 1: weighted blankets in the first place, but was one of

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Speaker 1: your kids? Can can you talk before we get into

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Speaker 1: that story a little bit about the science of a

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Speaker 1: weighted blanket? What what does it do? Yeah? Because I

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Speaker 1: know what it does, but in people I don't know. Well,

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Speaker 1: there is science behind it. There's also lots of anecdotal evidence,

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Speaker 1: but ultimately a way to blanket swaddles you. It makes

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Speaker 1: you feel like you're in the womb and it cradles you.

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Speaker 1: But the pressure that evenly distributed pressure all of your

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Speaker 1: body sence signals to your brain to actually calm your

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Speaker 1: nervous system down, so it decreases the stress hormone cortisol

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Speaker 1: and increases serotonin and dopamine. So it's definitely something that

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Speaker 1: I'm sure there's a lot of people out there. They

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Speaker 1: are like, I don't really know if I believe this,

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Speaker 1: and and whether you do or not, if you're under one,

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Speaker 1: it's almost like you can't deny the effects. It kind

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Speaker 1: of it holds you down in the best way trying.

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Speaker 1: It just gives you a big hug. I think after

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Speaker 1: we created this blanket, I started doing a lot of

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Speaker 1: research on hugs and how good they are for your

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Speaker 1: body and for just overall mental health. And we're, well,

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Speaker 1: there's a bunch of studies, but you're supposed to be

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Speaker 1: getting seven hugs a day just for maintenance, and then

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Speaker 1: to be thriving should be getting about twelve hugs a day. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I was kind of blown away by some of

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Speaker 1: these studies that I was reading, I thought they were

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Speaker 1: just kind of sillier whatnot. And then if you actually

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Speaker 1: start counting how many hugs you get a day, like

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Speaker 1: none of us get nearly enough. And on the days

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Speaker 1: where I was getting more hugs from people, I definitely

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Speaker 1: felt overall just so much more calm and better and grounded.

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Speaker 1: And it's almost like when you're getting hugs from people

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Speaker 1: throughout the day, it's like you're getting like it's almost

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Speaker 1: like a mini cheerleader for your body, you know, coming

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Speaker 1: by and just being like you can do it, you

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Speaker 1: can keep going. So the blankets act like a big hug,

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Speaker 1: and so they'll help you, you know, hit your quota

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Speaker 1: for the day. I love that twelve hugs a day.

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Speaker 1: Everyone in this office. Get ready. After we finished this,

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Speaker 1: I'm hugging everyone. I know. It's it feels it feels

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Speaker 1: like a lot. But also it's kind of fun if

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Speaker 1: you actually count your hugs and be like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: got it at my quota. You start hugging strangers on

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Speaker 1: the street, it's like track your steps, count your hugs. Yeah, wait,

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Speaker 1: what did we just create a new It's not really

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Speaker 1: a thing anymore than now. It's like if we made

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Speaker 1: a hashtag, well, it's like maybe or like one of

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Speaker 1: those fitbits for hugs. It's truly, I don't hate it.

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Speaker 1: We need to call Apple and be like, listen, can

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Speaker 1: we do an update to the Apple Watch Perfect? Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean I know for me as a person who

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Speaker 1: doesn't have a routine because working on sets, some days

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Speaker 1: I'm going to work at four thirty in the morning,

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Speaker 1: some days I'm going to work at seven in the morning,

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Speaker 1: some days I'm going at nine, and some days I'm

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Speaker 1: going at six pm to work until six or seven

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Speaker 1: am the next day. So having no routine means that

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Speaker 1: my body's circadian rhythms are always off. And when I

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Speaker 1: started sleeping under this blanket, I stopped waking up in

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Speaker 1: the middle of the night totally. I noticed a definite

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Speaker 1: And this is just for me. I'm not making a

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Speaker 1: medical claim here, just my personal experience I've learned. I

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Speaker 1: have to say that. But for me, my TMJ definitely decreased,

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Speaker 1: Like the amount of pain I'd be in in the

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Speaker 1: morning from my jaw was lower because I was actually

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Speaker 1: having really deep, RESTful sleep. And bonus, I don't roll

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Speaker 1: around when I have the blanket on, so I'm actually

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Speaker 1: really sleeping on my back, which you know you're supposed

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Speaker 1: to do to take care of your face, so and

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Speaker 1: your chess and all the thing, you know, just like

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Speaker 1: I wake up like no white. Still, it's really nice.

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Speaker 1: I heard from a friend who sleeps with the weighted

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Speaker 1: blanket every night, and she said that it actually helps

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Speaker 1: her go to bed with perfect hair and wake up

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Speaker 1: with perfect hair because she doesn't move. I've been sleeping

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Speaker 1: with mine for about a year. I actually couldn't really

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Speaker 1: afford to keep one when I first started the business,

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Speaker 1: so I had to buy the fabric, make a blanket,

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Speaker 1: sell it, to buy more fabric to make two blankets,

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Speaker 1: sell those, buy more fabric to make three or four,

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Speaker 1: sell them. So um. At first, I couldn't really keep

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Speaker 1: one for myself, and so many people were wanting them,

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Speaker 1: and so I'd kind of steal my kid's blanket from

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Speaker 1: time to time. But I didn't get one for a while,

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Speaker 1: And then when I did get one, it was like

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Speaker 1: one that I didn't even sew together. It was just

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Speaker 1: I kind of made it just so I could sleep.

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Speaker 1: I just wanted a dang blanket, so so it took

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Speaker 1: me a well anyway, once I got it. I started dreaming,

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Speaker 1: and I haven't dreams since I was little. I don't

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Speaker 1: remember any of my dreams from I mean, I don't

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Speaker 1: remember when I stopped dreaming. But I think it has

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Speaker 1: something to do with like my deep sleep. I wasn't

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Speaker 1: getting enough sleep, so and having a bunch of kids,

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Speaker 1: like a bunch of kids three but it often feels

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Speaker 1: like an entire football team. They're all girls, but it

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Speaker 1: still feels like an entire football a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: But I haven't really slept through the night since I

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Speaker 1: think since I became a mom. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: there's like anxiety that just comes with that you're constantly

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Speaker 1: worried about your children or what. But since I started

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Speaker 1: sleeping with the weighted blanket, I've been dreaming and it's

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Speaker 1: kind of intense. Like sometimes the dream like I don't

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Speaker 1: even remember them fully, but they're vivid. So it has

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Speaker 1: something to do with the blanket. Yeah, I love it.

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Speaker 1: Do you ever wake up and go whoa, like almost

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Speaker 1: like you're tired already because your brain was so active

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Speaker 1: at night A little bit. Yeah, definitely happens. Interesting. I

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Speaker 1: have a lot of people that write me and say

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Speaker 1: I'm actually going to see if I can get another

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Speaker 1: blanket because my dog stole mine, or my dog needs

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Speaker 1: his or her own blanket. Yeah, well my I had,

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Speaker 1: I had my my former sweet dog, Penny had terrible anxiety,

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Speaker 1: and I got her this thing called a thundershirt. Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: which you know about the Yeah, you know, so for

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Speaker 1: people at home, you put them in this shirt and

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Speaker 1: then it has this panel that basically wraps around their

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Speaker 1: torso and vel crows over their backs. So the shirt

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Speaker 1: gives them a squeeze, which exactly like you're saying about

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Speaker 1: the blanket. It gives your body this evenly distributed pressure

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Speaker 1: that calms your nerves. And so on fourth of July

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Speaker 1: and any time there was a thunderstorm, I'd have to

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Speaker 1: put Penny on her thundershirts. They look really cute in them.

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Speaker 1: We have two thunder shirts and we put Yeah, we

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Speaker 1: definitely put them on the dogs. But now they just

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Speaker 1: take our blankets so and they love them. You're like,

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Speaker 1: well where they go? I know. But the blanket even washable,

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Speaker 1: thank god. But the blanket, despite being excellent for animals

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Speaker 1: with anxiety, apparently like ours, did start because you were

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Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to best aid your daughter. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: my daughter, Ransom Fay Ransom is going to be six

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Speaker 1: in a couple of weeks. But when she was when

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Speaker 1: she was six months old, we realized that something was

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Speaker 1: a little bit different about her. She was always sort

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Speaker 1: of erect, like she babies are usually like squshy and

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Speaker 1: they'll cuddle with you, and she never did that. She

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Speaker 1: would always have her head straight up or just be

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Speaker 1: really stiff, and she wouldn't like us to like put

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Speaker 1: our hands on her back or her body and to

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Speaker 1: even support her when we were holding her. So we

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Speaker 1: always knew that something was like almost irritating her. And

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Speaker 1: as you know, as she grew and um, we started

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Speaker 1: looking into things, we realized she was actually she had

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Speaker 1: sensory processing disorder, which is really hard, especially to realize

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Speaker 1: so young, that she has trouble processing anything from from

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Speaker 1: lights to sound, to touch to textures. Movement things would

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Speaker 1: sort of like startle her that and in a way

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Speaker 1: that wasn't like other kids, like another child will get

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Speaker 1: startled and they cry or they get upset. She would

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Speaker 1: get upset and it would if we couldn't calm her

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Speaker 1: down almost immediately, it would just escalate to like zero

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Speaker 1: to ten, and it just seems so different from other kids.

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Speaker 1: So we ended up having taking her to be evaluated

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Speaker 1: by an occupational therapist in the regional center, and she

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Speaker 1: was actually diagnosed with high functioning autism and she and

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Speaker 1: with sensory processing disorder. So we had just bought this

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Speaker 1: house and it was really a big house, and we

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Speaker 1: didn't really have money for rugs. So I was determined

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Speaker 1: to make a really cool rug. So I found this

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Speaker 1: fabric at yard sale and and I brought it home

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Speaker 1: and shredded it up and tied it together and was like,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to crochet a rug. I've seen people do this,

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Speaker 1: and I just I must have done it totally wrong,

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Speaker 1: because it was it was a horrible rug. It was

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Speaker 1: pretty tragic, but it was a really amazing blanket. When

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Speaker 1: I remember making it, and it was on my lap

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Speaker 1: as I was finger crocheting it because I didn't have

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Speaker 1: a large crochet needle like we used now, but I

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Speaker 1: was just croucheing at my hand, and she woke up

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Speaker 1: from a nap and I remember putting her on my

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Speaker 1: lap and putting the blanket on her so that I

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Speaker 1: could finish, and you could literally see her calm down immediately,

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Speaker 1: like her whole body just relaxed. And it was strange

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Speaker 1: because she had always like I don't have a better

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Speaker 1: word for it, but people would always say she's so

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Speaker 1: erect because she would just her posture was like an adult.

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Speaker 1: It was she would sit up tall and straight, but

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Speaker 1: she had a tightness in her body. She was, yes, exactly,

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Speaker 1: she was like tight like she just needed you wanted

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Speaker 1: to be like, girl, let your shoulders down, like it's cool,

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Speaker 1: it's okay. And the blanket, it just brought her so

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Speaker 1: much relief, like even just in those few seconds of

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Speaker 1: having an honor. So I remember thinking, I've got to

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Speaker 1: finish this, like right now. So I think her dad

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Speaker 1: was around. He was helping me watch her, and I

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Speaker 1: was like trying my best to to make this blanket

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Speaker 1: as fast as I could so that it could help

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Speaker 1: her in real time, because from the second she would

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Speaker 1: wake up, it was hard. It was like every little noise,

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Speaker 1: every little thing would bother her, even like her footsteps

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Speaker 1: walking through the living room. The echo of it, you

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Speaker 1: could tell that it was like annoying or I don't

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Speaker 1: I guess if you were watching it, you would almost

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Speaker 1: look at her and be like, man, I think she's

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Speaker 1: in pain, and she used to like almost cry like

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Speaker 1: she was in pain, almost like she would It was

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Speaker 1: hard for many years, so until she was almost three

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Speaker 1: years old, she would only sleep in two hour increments.

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Speaker 1: So for three years she woke up every two hours,

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Speaker 1: and even when she was sleeping, you could see that

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Speaker 1: she was almost like twitching. You could see it was

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Speaker 1: in a deep sleep, like she could have woken up

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Speaker 1: at any second if if I went in. I remember

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Speaker 1: even we couldn't walk in certain parts of the house

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Speaker 1: if she was asleep because just the creaking of the

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Speaker 1: floor would wake her up. And we had white noise,

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Speaker 1: like two white noise machines going anyway. Sleep was so

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Speaker 1: so hard for her, and because of that, none of

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Speaker 1: us were sleeping. My husband had to work really long hours,

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Speaker 1: so it was kind of on me, which I was

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Speaker 1: fine with because I was actually the only one that

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Speaker 1: could calm her down when she would get upset at night.

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Speaker 1: So once I created this blanket by accident, we started

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Speaker 1: using it for sleep. It took a couple of days,

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Speaker 1: but she started sleeping through the night, and it was

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Speaker 1: like it felt like a miracle. Definitely, it was unexpected

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00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,640
Speaker 1: I knew that the pressure and the weight and all

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Speaker 1: that would be super beneficial to her, but I had

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Speaker 1: no idea that it would be literally life changing. So um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: when I talk about it's like, how can I convey

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Speaker 1: to people in one minute that this blanket literally changed

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Speaker 1: my life? But yeah, I mean it did. So it

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00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:29,960
Speaker 1: changed her life. And I assume she still sleeps with one.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, now everyone in the family does when she's

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Speaker 1: having a hard night. So she has Now this might

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00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,200
Speaker 1: be a little extreme, but she has three or four

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Speaker 1: blankets in her room and if she's having a really

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Speaker 1: hard time, she'll put all three or four of them

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Speaker 1: on top of her. Yeah, and she knows that it

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Speaker 1: will calm her down. Yeah, when she's having a hard time,

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00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:54,119
Speaker 1: she calls it her heavy blanket. Yeah yeah, So I

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Speaker 1: go where, what what do you need? What do you

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Speaker 1: need right now? And she's old enough that she can say,

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Speaker 1: I need to be burrito. I'm like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 1: I love you so much. I don't even know her,

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Speaker 1: and I love her. That sentence, just that slady right

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00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:11,120
Speaker 1: through the heart I know. And we literally put her

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Speaker 1: at one side and roll And that is really good

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00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 1: input for kids with sensory or autism. It's really really

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00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:22,680
Speaker 1: good for their muscles and it actually helps calm them down.

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Speaker 1: So rolling them or them squeezing through like tight spaces

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00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,080
Speaker 1: and between pillows and stuff. We used to do like

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Speaker 1: an obstacle course before she went to bed every night,

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00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,320
Speaker 1: just to really calm her muscles down, give her the

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00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,760
Speaker 1: good input that she needs, and then finish it off

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Speaker 1: with a way to blanket. Oh, it would not be

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00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,280
Speaker 1: what what's going on with muscles in a in a

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00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 1: child who's who has autism or sensory? What are they?

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00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,639
Speaker 1: Because that that idea when I when I watch you

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Speaker 1: describe her, and I watch your body language when you

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00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:08,680
Speaker 1: imitate her, I wish people could see you because it does.

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Speaker 1: It looks everything looks tight, It looks so tense, And

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Speaker 1: I wonder does does the science do the doctors can

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Speaker 1: they tell you what that? Um? Well, I've definitely talked

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Speaker 1: to them a lot about it, especially are like occupational therapist.

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Speaker 1: I don't know all the the exact terms for everything,

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Speaker 1: but somebody explained it to me this way that when

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Speaker 1: she has an emotional response to something, it will trigger

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00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: a physical response in her and vice versa. So like

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00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:48,480
Speaker 1: say somebody hurt her feelings. Well, she gets she gets

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00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:52,760
Speaker 1: a little bit more upset sometimes than than a neurotypical child,

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Speaker 1: and she'll get so upset that then it almost like

380
00:21:56,520 --> 00:22:00,560
Speaker 1: she's having trouble or if she's breathing heavy here, like

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00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 1: crying really hard, and then that will almost trigger like

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00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:06,719
Speaker 1: her body to get a little bit more tense, and

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00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,880
Speaker 1: then it'll make her her legs get tense and tight too,

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Speaker 1: and then it's just we're in a downward spiral and

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Speaker 1: there's almost nothing that you can do. It's I mean,

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Speaker 1: I had somebody explained it to me too, because it's

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00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:23,040
Speaker 1: like their frontal lobe cortex just flips and there it's

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00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 1: almost impossible to get it back down unless we can

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00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:29,239
Speaker 1: take her into like a quiet room or wrap her

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00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:32,040
Speaker 1: in a blanket and give her that like that input

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00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:35,080
Speaker 1: into her body, like a massage. It would be like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: us going to get a massage, and you leave and

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Speaker 1: you just feel almost like zen or like almost drained.

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Speaker 1: Like so I feel like when she gets really upset,

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Speaker 1: it's it's almost like her having like a panic attack

396
00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 1: or something, and she is like it's that fight or

397
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,399
Speaker 1: flight like kicks in and she's panicking. She doesn't know

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Speaker 1: where her comfort's going to come from. I know that's

399
00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:02,080
Speaker 1: a lot of kids with autism or sensory I think

400
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:06,960
Speaker 1: what's been really difficult with her, or not necessarily just her,

401
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:10,879
Speaker 1: but kids her age, is that all kids have a

402
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:14,240
Speaker 1: hard time with their senses and with their emotions and

403
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 1: regulating their body. Regulating, yeah, regulating their body and their emotions.

404
00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:22,520
Speaker 1: So when she gets upset, or when she used to

405
00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 1: get upset, it would seem almost typical, although we would

406
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 1: know that she say, a normal uh neurotypical child has

407
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 1: I don't know, like a couple of tantrums a day.

408
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:36,800
Speaker 1: She would have multiple tantrums like or I don't want

409
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 1: to say tantrums, not tantrum, it's a meltdown. She's melting down.

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00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:45,320
Speaker 1: She would have I don't know. They would like almost

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00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 1: roll into each other. It was like the whole day

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00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: would just be her trying to be okay. I had

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Speaker 1: somebody else talk to me and explain it, because it

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00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,400
Speaker 1: really helps when the when you're talking to therapists and

415
00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:01,040
Speaker 1: you have this child old and you don't know how

416
00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:05,199
Speaker 1: to help them fully, and you also, yeah, and you

417
00:24:05,280 --> 00:24:09,679
Speaker 1: also don't know what's happening to them. It seems like

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00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:13,480
Speaker 1: they're in pain, and so it's heartbreaking to watch. But

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00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:18,520
Speaker 1: I had this one occupational therapist, Tommy. Okay, so with Ransom,

420
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 1: with with children who have sensory difficulties, it's like they're

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00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 1: starting off their day with a full bucket of water

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00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,440
Speaker 1: or whatever you want to call it, Like their their

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00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 1: bucket is full, and everybody else starts their day off

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00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 1: refreshed with an empty bucket. And as you go through

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00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:39,080
Speaker 1: the day, you you know, random things that stress you

426
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:42,000
Speaker 1: out start filling up your bucket. But with her, she's

427
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 1: walking through her day just trying not to spill the bucket,

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00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 1: and any little extra thing put on top of it

429
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 1: could set her off. So for me, that was kind

430
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:56,880
Speaker 1: of my like, ah, I get it, Oh my gosh, Okay,

431
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,880
Speaker 1: So she's got a lot on her plate and anything

432
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 1: extra is just going to push her over. Something extra

433
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,800
Speaker 1: was too much? Too much? Yeah, we all get that way, sure,

434
00:25:06,880 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: But to live that way constantly, to live at a nine,

435
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:13,280
Speaker 1: nine point nine out of ten all the time, I

436
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:16,800
Speaker 1: just imagine must be so exhausting. Yeah. I have a

437
00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:21,640
Speaker 1: I have a friend. I have a friend who was

438
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 1: working at this place and they were doing some really

439
00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:29,320
Speaker 1: special work um with a group of kids with autism,

440
00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 1: and he said, just how as as a parent, he

441
00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:36,120
Speaker 1: was so shattered when this one little boy had They've

442
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: been going through some days of equine therapy and all

443
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:40,479
Speaker 1: this work in the body to kind of help these

444
00:25:40,560 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 1: kids make some space for themselves in their person had

445
00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: I suppose you could say, And he said that this

446
00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 1: one little boy had really really been struggling, looked at

447
00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: him and said, it finally feels like I don't have

448
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 1: the needles everywhere. Oh gosh. And just that the description,

449
00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:59,080
Speaker 1: I mean, it makes me want to cry, that a

450
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,119
Speaker 1: child like his body was covered in needles all of

451
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,959
Speaker 1: the time. I was like, nope, nope, you know what

452
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,680
Speaker 1: do we do and and what an incredible thing, whatever

453
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 1: however it presents for that boy, or your daughter or

454
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: any child who's suffering, that there's that there is something

455
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:23,800
Speaker 1: that can create that comfort for her, and and by extension,

456
00:26:24,720 --> 00:26:28,919
Speaker 1: for so many people who have chronic pain, who you know,

457
00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:32,680
Speaker 1: suffer from insomnia, who have high levels of stress. Like

458
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:38,399
Speaker 1: it came from your daughter and her condition, but the

459
00:26:38,440 --> 00:26:41,399
Speaker 1: amount of people who are actually helped with some pretty

460
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:47,919
Speaker 1: serious issues with such a simple tech is so cool. Yeah,

461
00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 1: it's pretty mind blowing, like into what you're saying about

462
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,680
Speaker 1: the little boy saying that he doesn't have those like

463
00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:57,439
Speaker 1: he knows. Oh my gosh, and my heart is just

464
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:01,920
Speaker 1: breaking right now because yeah, we definitely close close her hard.

465
00:27:02,400 --> 00:27:04,919
Speaker 1: Even though we created this blanket and it's helped her

466
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,320
Speaker 1: so much. We I can't think of really a day

467
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:10,679
Speaker 1: in the last six years that she didn't wake up crying.

468
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:15,000
Speaker 1: So so it's still every single day is hard. Every

469
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: single day we have to sort of like take a

470
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 1: deep breath before we start because if you as a parent,

471
00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:27,240
Speaker 1: if you're already anxious or you know it's coming, they're

472
00:27:27,240 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 1: going to feed off of that. So it's been really

473
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 1: good for us to be like, okay, we have to

474
00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: do we have to be the parent, we have to

475
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,000
Speaker 1: be strong. We have to let her know that like

476
00:27:36,160 --> 00:27:38,720
Speaker 1: it's okay, like she can do this, So we have

477
00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,040
Speaker 1: to take a deep breath. She wakes up and then

478
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,240
Speaker 1: we just help her kind of get through the morning,

479
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,639
Speaker 1: and when we're putting clothes on her, that is maybe

480
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 1: the hardest time of our day. So switching just imagine

481
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,439
Speaker 1: you're like super cozy in your bed, you're covered in

482
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 1: your blanket or whatever you've got your She's always been

483
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:59,000
Speaker 1: really kind of addicted to full body pajamas because with

484
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,960
Speaker 1: a full body jama there's no break in it. There's

485
00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:05,600
Speaker 1: no pant shirt brake where air could accidentally get in

486
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:10,600
Speaker 1: and you know, just or get twisted, um or anything

487
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: like that. So the full full pajamas, UM, that's all

488
00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:17,760
Speaker 1: she actually used to wear. She wouldn't even wear clothes.

489
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,520
Speaker 1: It would only be full footed pajamas until she was

490
00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 1: probably three, I think, and still sometimes we let her

491
00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:28,840
Speaker 1: go to school and then she's gotten better. But so now,

492
00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: like imagine you're in these like pajamas, you're super cozy.

493
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 1: It's time to wake up. You wake up, your blanket

494
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,200
Speaker 1: comes off. So now all of a sudden, that little

495
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: bit of pressure that was on you all night, Okay,

496
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:42,800
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, it's not there. Okay, that's all right.

497
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 1: But then the covers come off. There's a little bit

498
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 1: of a chill in the air. Okay, Mom turned off

499
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 1: the sound machine. The noise of mom walking through the room, Okay,

500
00:28:52,440 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 1: that's a new noise. She's she shares a bed with

501
00:28:55,720 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: her sister. Story. So Ransom and Story are like they

502
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 1: have bunk beds, but they like to sleep right next

503
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,360
Speaker 1: to each other and they'll like hold hands or cuddle.

504
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 1: It's the most insane thing. It's the cutest thing I've

505
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 1: ever seen. Sometimes we'll go in there at night when

506
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:14,480
Speaker 1: they're sleeping just a look because it's freaking adorable. Um.

507
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,200
Speaker 1: But yeah, Story will wake up and she'll move, and

508
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: so Ransom's focusing on just trying to be okay with

509
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: the new sounds now, not having pressure on her, the

510
00:29:24,360 --> 00:29:27,320
Speaker 1: little bit of chill in the air, the noise machines off,

511
00:29:27,840 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: and the sun is coming in. And now Story accidentally

512
00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 1: touched her and sometimes that will be enough just to

513
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 1: set her off. So just it's it's helpful for helpful

514
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 1: for us to remember like how difficult transitions are. And

515
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 1: for me also it's helped me just with people in general,

516
00:29:48,080 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 1: because so many people have trouble with transitions, Like you

517
00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:54,840
Speaker 1: get super cozy and like one thing, you're doing it,

518
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: you're doing it, and it's time to switch and your

519
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:58,840
Speaker 1: whole body has to change. If you think of like

520
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,560
Speaker 1: all the steps that it take as for you to

521
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: go from from doing one activity to another, if you

522
00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 1: really broke it down and then realized that some people

523
00:30:08,280 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 1: in this world have a difficult time with every single

524
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,200
Speaker 1: one of those, then it just helps you have a

525
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 1: little bit more compassion on people. Also kind of well

526
00:30:20,160 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 1: for me, I started realizing how many, how difficult different

527
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 1: sensory things are for myself, and then finding out later

528
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 1: that my my mom was like, oh gosh, I couldn't

529
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 1: put socks on you, the line on the socks, if

530
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,840
Speaker 1: there was polyester in anything, you would just scream. You

531
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 1: couldn't handle the car seat a certain way, and so

532
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 1: it was really interesting to hear that I had a

533
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 1: lot of the same things and struggles that Ransom has

534
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 1: right now. Um she said that ransoms her difficulties are

535
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: a little bit more extreme than mine were, but I

536
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 1: still have them to this day. Like my husband is

537
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 1: literally found me in the kitchen about to just cry

538
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 1: because I didn't have socks on, and there was dirt

539
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 1: on the floor and there was the feeling of dirt

540
00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 1: between my feet and the tile. It just kind of

541
00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:17,239
Speaker 1: it filled my bucket. So he brought me socks and

542
00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:20,160
Speaker 1: I was fine, and then I could walk upstairs to

543
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:25,360
Speaker 1: the bedroom. But even just having that little melt down,

544
00:31:25,480 --> 00:31:28,600
Speaker 1: which we still laugh about to this day, it just

545
00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 1: makes you just like extra were so like, Okay, she

546
00:31:34,040 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 1: feels that all the time, all the time, all the time,

547
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 1: and until she's right, if she's regulated, like honestly, you

548
00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,200
Speaker 1: wouldn't be able to even tell that she has some

549
00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:45,160
Speaker 1: of those difficulties. So say she got a good night's sleep,

550
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:47,840
Speaker 1: she's walking around, she's feeling really regulated, got a lot

551
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 1: of like a workout. We call it, it's called heavy work.

552
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:54,240
Speaker 1: If they're lifting or pushing or being squeezed, like the

553
00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,840
Speaker 1: whole temple granded thing, it calms them down, helps them

554
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 1: regulate their own bodies. And so if she's had all

555
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 1: those things, sometimes she'll be the most well behaved child

556
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:08,160
Speaker 1: in the room. She's a great student. She loves school.

557
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 1: She's really like in clinical settings and classrooms. Classroom setting

558
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:16,080
Speaker 1: she's amazing because there's a routine, she knows what's coming next.

559
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,560
Speaker 1: And it's the rest of you know, life that's really

560
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:25,240
Speaker 1: hard for her, the unpredictability and reoverload and totally wow,

561
00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:28,680
Speaker 1: and life is a sensory overload. I mean for real

562
00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 1: rush hour traffic in l A. Yeahsa, does she have

563
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 1: a favorite subject at school? I like she loves art.

564
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 1: She's creative, for sure. I she she just likes school

565
00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 1: like the whole thing. She can be like melting down

566
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:50,160
Speaker 1: or losing it on the way to school. Like I

567
00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:53,680
Speaker 1: said before, Um, we always have a hard time with her,

568
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 1: like getting her dressed and getting her to school, and

569
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 1: sometimes she'll be a lot of times she'll be crying

570
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 1: or or needing us to hold her, and as soon

571
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:07,720
Speaker 1: as we get into the classroom, she'll pretty much just

572
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: turn around and be like, Okay, I've got this. Whoa Yeah.

573
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:17,480
Speaker 1: So I used to think that like I was doing

574
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: something wrong as a parent because she breaks down or

575
00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:24,719
Speaker 1: you know, she loses it with me. But I'm the

576
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:27,760
Speaker 1: one that's been comforting her since she was six months old.

577
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 1: I know how to do it, and so I think

578
00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: she feels confident just losing it with me. So I'm trying.

579
00:33:35,560 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 1: I try to remember to like pat myself on the

580
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 1: back and tell myself that, like, you know, this is

581
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: actually her loving me, this is feeling the safest with you, totally. Um,

582
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:51,640
Speaker 1: it doesn't always feel that way, especially when you know

583
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:55,720
Speaker 1: you'll see your kid go off with another parent or

584
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 1: or a grandparent and they seem to be able to

585
00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:01,080
Speaker 1: hold it together. The more parents that I talked to

586
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 1: of kids with sensory or on the spectrum, they say

587
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:09,680
Speaker 1: the same things, which is also makes it really hard

588
00:34:09,800 --> 00:34:13,319
Speaker 1: to diagnose autism so young. It makes it really hard

589
00:34:13,400 --> 00:34:18,480
Speaker 1: to pinpoint this because sometimes these kids, these little kids

590
00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:22,320
Speaker 1: can hold it together when when they're around other people,

591
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:26,440
Speaker 1: whether it be they're they're nervous or I have no idea,

592
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:28,800
Speaker 1: but for whatever reason, they can kind of hold it together.

593
00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:30,879
Speaker 1: Then when they get home or get to the car

594
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 1: or something like that, they'll just lose it. Everything comes out, Yeah,

595
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:37,560
Speaker 1: it all comes out. And I imagine makes it tricky

596
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: because autism sensory those fall into the category of invisible illnesses.

597
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 1: And and I imagine having a child with an invisible

598
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:52,120
Speaker 1: illness or or even you know, for someone who might

599
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,080
Speaker 1: be listening, you could be a chronic pain sufferer. That's

600
00:34:55,080 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 1: an invisible illness. And it makes it really hard to explod,

601
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 1: lane to diagnose, to get adequate sympathy or understanding from

602
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 1: people around you. You know, if you're wearing a cast,

603
00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: people know you're hurt. But this this is different. Yeah,

604
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:16,360
Speaker 1: now that that's tough. So like finding out so we've

605
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 1: we've talked to so many people about all these things

606
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 1: now and finding out more about invisible illnesses, what that means,

607
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 1: how to talk to people about it it. I think

608
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:30,280
Speaker 1: my husband and I just felt crazy for a few years,

609
00:35:30,280 --> 00:35:32,680
Speaker 1: Like I mean, that's maybe not my favorite word to use,

610
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 1: but we felt like we were just like saying the

611
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:40,080
Speaker 1: same things and people were sort of giving us like

612
00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:43,480
Speaker 1: I don't even know, like a sympathy, like oh yeah,

613
00:35:43,680 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 1: but maybe thinking oh, they're exaggerating, or they're they're overdoing

614
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:52,480
Speaker 1: or they're not doing something right. I always joke with

615
00:35:52,560 --> 00:35:57,720
Speaker 1: people that my least favorite words are just and should

616
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,960
Speaker 1: you should do this or you should just do this,

617
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:05,439
Speaker 1: and use them together like there's no there's no other

618
00:36:05,560 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 1: phrase that just feels like even pete honestly, people mean well,

619
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,320
Speaker 1: they seriously do. And I think people are problem solvers.

620
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:17,000
Speaker 1: So they see something and they want to give you advice.

621
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 1: They aren't sure what to do, they aren't sure how

622
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,839
Speaker 1: to react, So I don't I don't get offended when

623
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:25,200
Speaker 1: it happens, although I definitely would get my feelings hurt

624
00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:27,439
Speaker 1: a lot um Oh if you would just do this

625
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,359
Speaker 1: or you should really do this, or hear the people

626
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:33,319
Speaker 1: have said things you know to other people about how

627
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,160
Speaker 1: we should be, you know, handling her and raising her.

628
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:40,040
Speaker 1: And I mean another another part of that is being

629
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 1: really vocal about it. Yeah, do you have to fight

630
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,399
Speaker 1: harder just to be hard on this? Yeah? Kind of.

631
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:51,480
Speaker 1: And then sometimes I get really discouraged because I'm I'm

632
00:36:51,520 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: talking about it. I know what's happening and explaining it

633
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 1: to people. And then every time you go to a

634
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,720
Speaker 1: different specialist, every time you go to a different therapists,

635
00:36:59,719 --> 00:37:02,719
Speaker 1: you have to tell the story. And so sometimes I

636
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:05,879
Speaker 1: forget things, or sometimes I just get mad and I'll

637
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:10,319
Speaker 1: just I'll I'll say something out of frustration, like yeah,

638
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:11,880
Speaker 1: she does this all the time, this is her and

639
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 1: like and my husband's like, this is their first time

640
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 1: meeting us. Like they're going to think we're, you know,

641
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 1: off our rocker, So calm down. So really, you're only human.

642
00:37:21,920 --> 00:37:26,440
Speaker 1: I mean it's at yeah, you're like, you're only human.

643
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:28,719
Speaker 1: But you only get a certain amount of time with

644
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:34,120
Speaker 1: therapists and specialists, and the waiting lists to get evaluations

645
00:37:34,160 --> 00:37:38,360
Speaker 1: done is insane. It's like six months or longer sometimes

646
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:41,279
Speaker 1: unless you catch it early enough and you can get

647
00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 1: in with the regional center once they hit three a

648
00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 1: year with the school district or you have to go

649
00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 1: to like children's hospital or or there's like a u

650
00:37:49,239 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 1: c L A thing I think Boone Fetter clinic, and

651
00:37:52,160 --> 00:37:57,240
Speaker 1: you can get a full evaluation um of of your child,

652
00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:00,800
Speaker 1: but there's a really long waiting list, and so it's like, okay,

653
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 1: if it's six six months to a year, then how

654
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,960
Speaker 1: or like, you know, even three months, when you're struggling

655
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:11,919
Speaker 1: an hour to hour, that just feels it feels so

656
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:14,800
Speaker 1: far away, and you feel like no one's on your side.

657
00:38:15,239 --> 00:38:19,600
Speaker 1: You're super You just feel helpless, and it's really hard

658
00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: watching like the world go by, nobody stops for this,

659
00:38:23,200 --> 00:38:28,880
Speaker 1: you know things, And like, ultimately I still have to

660
00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:32,719
Speaker 1: be a mom to my other children, and so the

661
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 1: guilt that comes with that is a little bit like

662
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 1: sometimes more than I can handle. And my daughter, my oldest,

663
00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:45,840
Speaker 1: Jordan's she's she's a teenager, she's she's going to be seventeen.

664
00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:49,560
Speaker 1: But she wanted to be an actress and she wanted

665
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,719
Speaker 1: to be a singer. And when Ransom was diagnosed and

666
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 1: I just realized how much care and attention she needed,

667
00:38:58,719 --> 00:39:01,520
Speaker 1: all that stopped. There was no money for extra stuff.

668
00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: All the money is going towards therapy. Or finding help

669
00:39:04,800 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: or help with your child, or you know, rides for

670
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 1: your other kids because you can't drive them somewhere. Because

671
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 1: your child who has some sensory difficulties need you, and

672
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:18,439
Speaker 1: as much as you can build help them cope and

673
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:22,399
Speaker 1: build a tolerance to life and things, they really need

674
00:39:22,440 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 1: you like that one on one attention. It's just it's

675
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:29,120
Speaker 1: so crucial. And we had gotten to the point where

676
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,279
Speaker 1: I wanted to be a stay at home mom. I

677
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:34,319
Speaker 1: had never done that. I when I had Jordan's I

678
00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,360
Speaker 1: went back to work when she was six weeks old,

679
00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 1: and I worked one to three jobs at a time

680
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:44,200
Speaker 1: to just like make ends meet. I was young, I

681
00:39:44,640 --> 00:39:46,200
Speaker 1: didn't have a degree, and I had to kind of

682
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:49,320
Speaker 1: work my way up and I had a few really

683
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:52,360
Speaker 1: good breaks. People gave me some really amazing jobs and

684
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:54,480
Speaker 1: I was able to take care of us for a

685
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: while until I wasn't and and whatnot. And then when

686
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,719
Speaker 1: we found out we were pregnant with rants um, I

687
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:02,799
Speaker 1: was like, whoa, this is it, Like I can be

688
00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: a stay at home mom, and I was so excited

689
00:40:05,719 --> 00:40:09,759
Speaker 1: to do it. I love kids. I I have always

690
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,560
Speaker 1: like babysad or nannyate or I actually even worked with

691
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:17,080
Speaker 1: special kids and young adults with special abilities when I

692
00:40:17,120 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 1: was pregnant with with Jordan's and so but I just

693
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,680
Speaker 1: kept thinking, Okay, this is it, this is my time.

694
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,719
Speaker 1: And then we had Ransom and it's like we she

695
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,319
Speaker 1: was in Nike for a long time and nothing just

696
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: nothing played out how I had imagined. And I was

697
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,759
Speaker 1: so excited to have this child and stay home with

698
00:40:34,760 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 1: her and make all these meals and do all these

699
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 1: fun things and do play dates and stuff that I

700
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:44,399
Speaker 1: never did with with Jordan's. And it turned out with one,

701
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: it's really great that I could stay home with her,

702
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,080
Speaker 1: but two, it wasn't anything like I thought it was

703
00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 1: going to be. I didn't get I did get to

704
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,040
Speaker 1: do some fun play dates here and there, but every

705
00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,400
Speaker 1: single day was it just felt like a lot of

706
00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:02,600
Speaker 1: pressure to make her that she was okay and to

707
00:41:02,719 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 1: make her life feel and seem as like quote unquote

708
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 1: normal as possible, and almost like talking myself into the

709
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,839
Speaker 1: fact that like, no, this is fine, like this is

710
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 1: this is what other parents are going through. Everybody's going

711
00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:19,759
Speaker 1: through this. And then people would kind of come over

712
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:22,600
Speaker 1: and see some of the like the outbursts or the mountdowns,

713
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,320
Speaker 1: or see her having a really hard time and would

714
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:28,879
Speaker 1: say like, oh, whoa, no, no, we're not going through that,

715
00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 1: Like that seems a little like a little bit elevated.

716
00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:35,319
Speaker 1: She having a hard time, like is she's sick maybe

717
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:37,759
Speaker 1: or coming down with like a cold, And I would

718
00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,879
Speaker 1: say no, that this is her every day. So it's

719
00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 1: like I'm saying all these things. I feel like I'm

720
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:44,720
Speaker 1: painting this picture that it was just like so crazy

721
00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 1: all the time, which I think, looking looking back, if

722
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 1: I really look at it, yeah I was. But there

723
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:55,120
Speaker 1: was some really beautiful moments in there. And she's she's

724
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:57,719
Speaker 1: coming out of it learning I don't know, coming out

725
00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:59,439
Speaker 1: of it. That's probably not the best word to say,

726
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 1: but she's learning coping techniques. And she's what happens with

727
00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:08,120
Speaker 1: kids with censories. They need to keep doing stuff and

728
00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:11,000
Speaker 1: little baby steps over and over to build a tolerance.

729
00:42:11,520 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 1: And then once they can do that, they're getting stronger

730
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:16,600
Speaker 1: and they can start doing more and more things, are

731
00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:20,879
Speaker 1: capable of more things. She's really smart. She's so intelligent.

732
00:42:21,320 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 1: She has a lot of language. The other day she

733
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:27,560
Speaker 1: was telling me, oh, yes, I was climbing on that apparatus,

734
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 1: like I'm sorry, you're five. What what tell me more,

735
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: what was this apparatus too? I've never used that word

736
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:40,360
Speaker 1: in my life. You know what it means, you're five. Wow.

737
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:44,479
Speaker 1: So it's neat to see her grow and thrive. And

738
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:50,479
Speaker 1: but it's also I feel responsibility to talk about these

739
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: things and share our experience because so many parents out there,

740
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 1: especially if if, if this is your first child, and

741
00:42:59,239 --> 00:43:02,480
Speaker 1: all you hear everybody saying this is so hard, this

742
00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: is so difficult. Parenting is so hard. You lose sleep,

743
00:43:05,239 --> 00:43:08,839
Speaker 1: you lose you know, you lose sanity. Um, and you're

744
00:43:08,880 --> 00:43:11,719
Speaker 1: going through that. Yeah, you're losing sleep, You're losing sanity.

745
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:15,640
Speaker 1: And it's hard to differentiate what is more like typical

746
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:18,319
Speaker 1: for a child and what is just slightly elevated, what

747
00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:22,840
Speaker 1: is like a challenge and and the best thing to

748
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 1: do is it's the best to find out as soon

749
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:28,680
Speaker 1: as possible and try and get them an evaluation, which

750
00:43:29,239 --> 00:43:32,200
Speaker 1: is always a scary word. I think for people to oh,

751
00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:35,360
Speaker 1: I'm having my child evaluated, It's it's scary. It's like,

752
00:43:35,400 --> 00:43:38,440
Speaker 1: what is that is that some you know, therapists going

753
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 1: to come in with a clipboard or something, And the

754
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 1: reality is is some really sweet person who's really amazing

755
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:49,920
Speaker 1: with children, comes in and plays with your child, and

756
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 1: they pick up on the little quirks and the little

757
00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 1: things that they do just slightly different, and they can tell, oh,

758
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,640
Speaker 1: look at their aversion to this or this fabric or

759
00:44:00,640 --> 00:44:04,760
Speaker 1: this rug or they didn't want to touch, you know, sand,

760
00:44:04,920 --> 00:44:07,279
Speaker 1: and it was almost scary to them. And we could

761
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,839
Speaker 1: tell right away that it's more than than just oh

762
00:44:10,920 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 1: they didn't want to touch sand that day. That was

763
00:44:13,360 --> 00:44:17,279
Speaker 1: actually like a fear. We had to do months of

764
00:44:17,360 --> 00:44:21,680
Speaker 1: therapy for Ransom to touch sand. Yeah, that was that

765
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:25,600
Speaker 1: was interesting, And it's stuff that you don't even think

766
00:44:25,840 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 1: as currently. It's a sandbox. Kids like Sandy, but to

767
00:44:31,080 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 1: kid like her, it's painful. Yeah, it is. It's like

768
00:44:34,480 --> 00:44:49,120
Speaker 1: those needles. Yeah, how have you managed to find and

769
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,880
Speaker 1: I guess have you found a community of other parents

770
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:57,239
Speaker 1: so you have some kind of shared knowledge or experience

771
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 1: in all of this. It's really hard. Um. I can't

772
00:45:00,920 --> 00:45:06,520
Speaker 1: say that I've mastered that. UM. I definitely early on,

773
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 1: like right after we created the blanket, somebody connected me

774
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:16,720
Speaker 1: with these these two women who wolf and friends. They

775
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:20,400
Speaker 1: they each had I think they were brought together by

776
00:45:20,440 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 1: their children who both had autism or sensory difficulties, and

777
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:27,719
Speaker 1: they created this first I think it was like an

778
00:45:27,719 --> 00:45:32,720
Speaker 1: Instagram and then a website of really great things for

779
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:36,319
Speaker 1: kids with autism, kids with sensory and they would kind

780
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,799
Speaker 1: of give you a list of all these things that

781
00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:42,400
Speaker 1: would help help for your kids, but also that were beautiful,

782
00:45:42,719 --> 00:45:45,640
Speaker 1: because that was kind of the idea behind the blanket

783
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:50,760
Speaker 1: is that yeah, it's helpful and it's it's an amazing tool,

784
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:53,720
Speaker 1: but I don't want my daughter to have all these

785
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 1: things that look really sterile and clinical, and that like

786
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:02,040
Speaker 1: right off the bat would tell her I'm different, because yeah,

787
00:46:02,200 --> 00:46:05,359
Speaker 1: I mean what the reasons that she's different are also

788
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,640
Speaker 1: the reasons that make it really really special. So I've

789
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 1: found this kind of this community through Wolf and Friends

790
00:46:11,520 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 1: and they started they created an app and there's a

791
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 1: way that you can get connected with special needs families

792
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:22,680
Speaker 1: in your area. So that's kind of amazing. So through that,

793
00:46:22,719 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 1: I've kind of met a few people through them specifically,

794
00:46:26,280 --> 00:46:30,080
Speaker 1: I feel like I a lot of people will kind

795
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:33,759
Speaker 1: of rag on social media and whatnot. I love it.

796
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:39,040
Speaker 1: I love it. I have found so many tips and

797
00:46:39,080 --> 00:46:43,120
Speaker 1: tricks and tools and other moms autism moms like I

798
00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 1: love looking at all the hashtags for for sensory, for anxiety,

799
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 1: for whatever it is. You can go to those things

800
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:54,400
Speaker 1: and find these moms that are also being really vocal

801
00:46:54,440 --> 00:46:59,480
Speaker 1: about invisible illnesses or not invisible illnesses, like the community,

802
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,359
Speaker 1: because either way, you just have this amazing camaraderie, like

803
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,600
Speaker 1: you're coming together and you know that there's it's like

804
00:47:06,640 --> 00:47:08,520
Speaker 1: your you can look at each other and just know

805
00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:12,160
Speaker 1: like you've been through some stuff. You've been I get like,

806
00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:14,640
Speaker 1: I see you, you see me. You haven't been through

807
00:47:14,680 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 1: the same exact thing, but like I see you, and

808
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:22,000
Speaker 1: you've got this and all through like an online community

809
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 1: from a hashtag. It's honestly such an incredible thing. I

810
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 1: think it's the greatest gift of social media and shared

811
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 1: experience is so important for us as humans. Yeah, totally.

812
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 1: It's it feels really good to be able to I mean,

813
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:38,880
Speaker 1: I guess I can't think of a better phrase, but

814
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,960
Speaker 1: me too. Like you can look at someone and be like,

815
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:45,359
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, me too, Like oh, you didn't sleep

816
00:47:45,360 --> 00:47:49,720
Speaker 1: for three years, me too, Like yeah, you your child

817
00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:53,480
Speaker 1: also has difficulty putting clothes on, and you feel like

818
00:47:53,560 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 1: you you go to school and I've never been a

819
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:00,680
Speaker 1: jealous person. But sometimes it'll get to me, like I'll

820
00:48:00,680 --> 00:48:03,720
Speaker 1: be walking my daughter to school and I'll look around

821
00:48:03,719 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 1: at all these kids that can just like jump out

822
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:11,200
Speaker 1: of the car and walk to class. And sometimes she

823
00:48:11,239 --> 00:48:15,040
Speaker 1: can kind of hold it together and do that, but

824
00:48:15,040 --> 00:48:17,120
Speaker 1: but for the most part, it's like her dad and

825
00:48:17,160 --> 00:48:20,640
Speaker 1: I met and I walking with her holding her. Actually,

826
00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,160
Speaker 1: a lot of autistic kids are sensory kids really like

827
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:27,160
Speaker 1: being held because the weight of their own legs pulling

828
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:31,360
Speaker 1: and dangling is actually some sensory input. It's like really

829
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:34,439
Speaker 1: good for them and it helps regulate their body. So

830
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,359
Speaker 1: I used to be really embarrassed that I carry her

831
00:48:37,480 --> 00:48:40,840
Speaker 1: a lot, and she's like, I don't. You've never met her,

832
00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:42,840
Speaker 1: so you don't know this. But she's the size of

833
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:47,120
Speaker 1: an eight year old, so she's five, but she comes

834
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:50,760
Speaker 1: up to my chest, so she's huge. But we carry

835
00:48:50,800 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 1: her a lot of places because it's just that little

836
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:58,040
Speaker 1: bit of input from the car to her classroom where

837
00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:02,280
Speaker 1: it'll help regulate her. Then we can hand her off. Wow.

838
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,560
Speaker 1: So cool. I mean, I I would imagine that for

839
00:49:05,600 --> 00:49:10,240
Speaker 1: anyone listening who is in a similar position. The amount

840
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:14,400
Speaker 1: of advice and the tips and the the app and

841
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:17,279
Speaker 1: the community and just the things like this. This is

842
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:21,480
Speaker 1: so amazing. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad I because

843
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not a doctor, I'm not a therapist,

844
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:28,680
Speaker 1: and I mean I probably get it wrong more times

845
00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 1: than I get it right. But I even if like

846
00:49:33,560 --> 00:49:36,160
Speaker 1: I'm wrong and certain with certain things, like I know

847
00:49:36,239 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 1: kind of what works for my kid. It just it

848
00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:41,440
Speaker 1: feels good to be able to I know, because it

849
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:43,399
Speaker 1: feels good for me to listen to somebody else talk

850
00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 1: about some of their struggles and just know that you're

851
00:49:46,360 --> 00:49:49,120
Speaker 1: you're not alone. Yeah, I'm sure there's so many people

852
00:49:49,160 --> 00:49:51,839
Speaker 1: listening to this right now going me to and that

853
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,279
Speaker 1: it is. It's such a gift and I wish I

854
00:49:54,280 --> 00:49:57,440
Speaker 1: could just reach through and hug them all. You are

855
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 1: energetically you are. I just yeah, it's so cool. Thank you,

856
00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:05,720
Speaker 1: Thank you for sharing all of that. I am so curious.

857
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:07,399
Speaker 1: We got right into it, and I was just so

858
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:09,640
Speaker 1: fascinated that I forgot that I didn't ask you my

859
00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:13,279
Speaker 1: standard first question, um, but I was just like, tell

860
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:17,080
Speaker 1: me all the things. Um. I usually I love to

861
00:50:17,120 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: know because I stood across from people who are doing

862
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 1: things that I think were so interesting, and you know,

863
00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:25,160
Speaker 1: you talking about being a maker and working in the

864
00:50:25,200 --> 00:50:27,440
Speaker 1: vintage world and all of this stuff. I want to

865
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:30,560
Speaker 1: know everything about all of it. And then I I go,

866
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:35,319
Speaker 1: but wait, who were you as a kid, Because there's

867
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:37,400
Speaker 1: all these cool things you're doing and have done in

868
00:50:37,440 --> 00:50:40,280
Speaker 1: the world, and I wonder where you were you always

869
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,439
Speaker 1: a hands on kid? Were you really into art? Were

870
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:45,799
Speaker 1: you were you into fashion? Like what was going on

871
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,560
Speaker 1: for you when you were young? Oh, my gosh, so

872
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 1: many things. I was always into art. I was always

873
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:57,080
Speaker 1: the one getting my art put like on whatever board,

874
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:01,120
Speaker 1: and and I loved it. And I remember, even from

875
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,600
Speaker 1: a young age, thinking I want to do this a

876
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:06,040
Speaker 1: little bit different, and like not wanting to see what

877
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:10,000
Speaker 1: anyone else was doing because I didn't want any of

878
00:51:10,040 --> 00:51:13,279
Speaker 1: their creativity. I didn't want to accidentally steal some of

879
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 1: their ideas. And so I remember thinking, I'm just going

880
00:51:16,080 --> 00:51:18,319
Speaker 1: to focus on my thing, and I'm going to see

881
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:21,319
Speaker 1: like how cool and how detailed I can make it.

882
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:25,279
Speaker 1: Like I remember I was drying or painting this bird

883
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:28,400
Speaker 1: of Paradise, and I remember thinking like, Okay, I'm just

884
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:31,120
Speaker 1: going to focus and I'm going to do little dots

885
00:51:31,280 --> 00:51:33,759
Speaker 1: instead of lines, and I want to see if I

886
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,720
Speaker 1: can make this like really unique, and I I liked

887
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:42,120
Speaker 1: im pressing people, and so I remember like loving when

888
00:51:42,160 --> 00:51:45,279
Speaker 1: the teacher would come over and just be floored that

889
00:51:45,400 --> 00:51:49,320
Speaker 1: I like created something really cool. But yeah, I always

890
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:53,000
Speaker 1: I loved art um. Looking back, I guess I I

891
00:51:53,080 --> 00:51:55,440
Speaker 1: was a good student. It was a really good student.

892
00:51:55,880 --> 00:52:00,040
Speaker 1: Kind of actually got bullied in high school, so I

893
00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 1: stopped going to class and actually just barely graduated, so

894
00:52:05,440 --> 00:52:07,839
Speaker 1: that was kind of a bummer. But I feel like

895
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 1: I was on track to be like this perfect student

896
00:52:11,760 --> 00:52:14,799
Speaker 1: and then go to business school or you know, make

897
00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:18,479
Speaker 1: my parents super proud, and instead I just really liked

898
00:52:18,520 --> 00:52:21,560
Speaker 1: being creative. And I think the group of girls that

899
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 1: gave me a really hard time kind of ruined high

900
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,400
Speaker 1: school for me at the end. And then I just

901
00:52:26,640 --> 00:52:30,680
Speaker 1: barely barely got there. But before that, my parents told

902
00:52:30,719 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 1: me that when I was younger, I used to take

903
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 1: this wagon and fill it with car wash stuff, and

904
00:52:37,160 --> 00:52:40,520
Speaker 1: I would go door to door and just ask if

905
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,480
Speaker 1: anybody wanted their car washed, and they would say, well,

906
00:52:43,719 --> 00:52:47,320
Speaker 1: and I was probably seven or eight, and yeah, I

907
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:49,600
Speaker 1: would ask if they wanted their car washed, and and

908
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:52,240
Speaker 1: they would say, okay, Well, well how much I would say, oh,

909
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 1: just for free. I just want to get experience. I

910
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 1: just want to learn, and so like I want to

911
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:02,760
Speaker 1: get good precious, Oh my god. And then they would

912
00:53:02,760 --> 00:53:07,759
Speaker 1: give me like twenty or forty. So I'm wan I

913
00:53:07,800 --> 00:53:10,399
Speaker 1: was obviously doing something right and I didn't even realize it,

914
00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:13,960
Speaker 1: but in my mind it was like, I'm gonna I

915
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,400
Speaker 1: want to be a resource to these people, you know,

916
00:53:16,480 --> 00:53:18,480
Speaker 1: like when they think car wash, I want them to

917
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: think of me. I was like, eight, that's so amazing.

918
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 1: I mean, on another we're like your lemonade stands cool.

919
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:31,399
Speaker 1: Watch this right. I've always loved babies. I've always loved kids.

920
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:34,239
Speaker 1: I've always wanted like eight kids. I was about to

921
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:36,279
Speaker 1: say same until you said that, and I was like,

922
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:40,279
Speaker 1: not the same love babies that well, having kids in

923
00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:42,719
Speaker 1: l A is hard, but but I've always wanted so

924
00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 1: many kids because I grew up my my mom is

925
00:53:45,480 --> 00:53:50,239
Speaker 1: half Filipino and Chinese and um and an American, and

926
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:54,800
Speaker 1: so I like her like Filipino side. Oh my goodness,

927
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:58,680
Speaker 1: like karaoke and food and kids and everybody there. No,

928
00:53:58,920 --> 00:54:00,960
Speaker 1: it's just like free for all when you go over

929
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 1: to like our aunt and uncle's houses and everyone brings

930
00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 1: the kids and they just start running and you don't

931
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:08,239
Speaker 1: even know where your kid is. They're just running and

932
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:11,759
Speaker 1: eating and having sugar and all the things. But I

933
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 1: wanted that, like I wanted that for myself, and I

934
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:18,759
Speaker 1: even like daydream about being a grandparent one day. Like

935
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,160
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe I'm sick in the head. But

936
00:54:21,160 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 1: but when I was little, I asked my mom. My

937
00:54:24,080 --> 00:54:27,000
Speaker 1: mom worked at a hospital. She still does, and I

938
00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:30,479
Speaker 1: asked her when I could start taking babysitting classes because

939
00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:33,279
Speaker 1: I really wanted to add like CPR and I'm like

940
00:54:33,440 --> 00:54:36,440
Speaker 1: maneuvered to my resume when I'm like talking to people.

941
00:54:36,640 --> 00:54:41,440
Speaker 1: So I signed up for a babysitting class at the

942
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:44,239
Speaker 1: local hospital and I went. I can't remember how night,

943
00:54:44,280 --> 00:54:47,680
Speaker 1: how many nights it was, but I taught. I remember

944
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:51,640
Speaker 1: tote bags weren't easily easy to find, like now they're

945
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 1: on every corner. But I remember wanting a very simple

946
00:54:55,360 --> 00:54:58,960
Speaker 1: canvas tote bag so that I could put coloring books,

947
00:54:59,320 --> 00:55:02,600
Speaker 1: you know, for my client's children, and said, And so

948
00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:05,239
Speaker 1: I went to all the classes. I got a certificate.

949
00:55:05,719 --> 00:55:08,719
Speaker 1: I got a certificate that says that I'm a certified babysitter.

950
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,399
Speaker 1: And you still have that please tell me, my god,

951
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:13,839
Speaker 1: you know what my mom probably does. She doesn't throw

952
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:20,839
Speaker 1: anything away. You need it, you need it part of fact. Yeah. Um,

953
00:55:21,040 --> 00:55:25,200
Speaker 1: so I got my certificate, I started babysitting, and I

954
00:55:25,239 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 1: would just always like it was so fun for me.

955
00:55:28,640 --> 00:55:31,239
Speaker 1: It didn't ever feel like work. Work never felt like work,

956
00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:35,600
Speaker 1: and I always loved working. So I remember babysitting for

957
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:38,239
Speaker 1: the neighbors and and all the things, and people really

958
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:41,920
Speaker 1: trusted me with their kids because I legit was taking

959
00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 1: it seriously, Like I would tell myself, like, they're watching,

960
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:48,560
Speaker 1: there's cameras, they're watching. I have to be on my

961
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:52,759
Speaker 1: best behavior. I have to be energetic and sweet yet firm.

962
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:56,040
Speaker 1: I was like ten, it was so and I also,

963
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:58,920
Speaker 1: I can't believe that people let me watch their children

964
00:55:58,920 --> 00:56:01,040
Speaker 1: when I was so young. I mean, I kind I

965
00:56:01,560 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 1: felt responsible. I felt like I could handle it. But

966
00:56:04,360 --> 00:56:07,319
Speaker 1: now looking at at my kids, like like, I don't

967
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,719
Speaker 1: know if I would let my ten year old, but

968
00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:11,919
Speaker 1: you've probably have not met a ten year old like you.

969
00:56:12,680 --> 00:56:14,760
Speaker 1: I think I was. I was a little bit crazy.

970
00:56:14,840 --> 00:56:18,479
Speaker 1: And actually I'm realizing that more and more people would

971
00:56:18,480 --> 00:56:21,239
Speaker 1: say that about me like I, Like they would tell

972
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 1: my mom like I've never really met a you know,

973
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:28,040
Speaker 1: a child like Pamela or whatever, which was fun. And

974
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:30,920
Speaker 1: then right after, like my first job, I was thirteen,

975
00:56:31,400 --> 00:56:34,880
Speaker 1: I worked at a bean bag store and I had

976
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:37,560
Speaker 1: did you just get to roll in bean bags all day?

977
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:41,399
Speaker 1: That's amazing? All day I spent like wiping the bean

978
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:44,520
Speaker 1: bags off, making sure they weren't dusty, and like making

979
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,800
Speaker 1: sure that the show room looked really pretty. This is

980
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:50,480
Speaker 1: why I couldn't work retail. I had a retail job

981
00:56:50,560 --> 00:56:54,719
Speaker 1: for three weeks and had a meltdown because I'm so

982
00:56:54,880 --> 00:56:56,640
Speaker 1: o c D and I like things to be organized

983
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,680
Speaker 1: and Clark coordinated and hung by size, and everybody else

984
00:56:59,680 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 1: working at the at the place I show on that

985
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 1: name where my retail job was was just like taking

986
00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 1: smoke breaks and doing whatever they were doing. And I

987
00:57:07,440 --> 00:57:10,000
Speaker 1: was like, I can't manage thousands of square feet of

988
00:57:10,000 --> 00:57:12,400
Speaker 1: a retail space by myself. I quit. I can't do this.

989
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:15,560
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm out. I'll do anything else. I'm out.

990
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 1: This is not for me. You needed to work at

991
00:57:18,440 --> 00:57:21,120
Speaker 1: like a super high end place that had like five hangars,

992
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 1: Like yeah, but also I'm like too awkward to be

993
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:25,280
Speaker 1: in those places, Like those are the places I still

994
00:57:25,280 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 1: feel like I walk into and people are like, do

995
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:33,400
Speaker 1: you belong here? I guess not. I'm gay this online.

996
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:35,400
Speaker 1: But no, it's so interesting that you talk about that

997
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:37,280
Speaker 1: because I was. I was the same as a kid.

998
00:57:37,280 --> 00:57:39,680
Speaker 1: I'm having this really wild actually listening to you tak

999
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 1: exactly like from the time that I was so little,

1000
00:57:44,280 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 1: I was just managing all the kids in any space.

1001
00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:48,840
Speaker 1: So I became a pretty young babysitter. I think I

1002
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:52,600
Speaker 1: started babysitting at eleven, and the same thing. I was like,

1003
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:54,480
Speaker 1: we're going to do an art project, and then we're

1004
00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:55,840
Speaker 1: going to go for a walk, and then we're going

1005
00:57:55,880 --> 00:57:57,840
Speaker 1: to do come to do another project. We're gonna do homework.

1006
00:57:58,240 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 1: I had a whole situation and I rolled that all

1007
00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:04,000
Speaker 1: the way through junior high, in high school, and in

1008
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:06,120
Speaker 1: high school, I became a camp counselor in the summers.

1009
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:09,920
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, and that was the best thing ever, best,

1010
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,880
Speaker 1: Oh my god, like I see I t and then

1011
00:58:11,880 --> 00:58:15,360
Speaker 1: a full blown counselor and being a kid, you know,

1012
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:18,760
Speaker 1: fifteen years old with two actual adult counselors in the

1013
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:21,440
Speaker 1: room and me being the junior and having a cabin

1014
00:58:21,560 --> 00:58:23,680
Speaker 1: full of eight year olds for two weeks was like

1015
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:27,080
Speaker 1: my idea of heaven. Yeah, this is a dream I

1016
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:29,360
Speaker 1: would have been into that. We were like Carey grabbing

1017
00:58:29,400 --> 00:58:33,920
Speaker 1: dance routines on the boom box outside. I mean obviously amazing.

1018
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:38,880
Speaker 1: Oh man, I had so many dances Madonna just like

1019
00:58:38,920 --> 00:58:43,200
Speaker 1: a prayer. Oh my gosh, all all the things. I

1020
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:47,000
Speaker 1: love it so much, Oh my gosh. So that was

1021
00:58:47,040 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 1: your first foray into business. Yeah, but the the when

1022
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:55,120
Speaker 1: I say, the car wash, the car washing, the car wash,

1023
00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 1: and then the babysitting. And I always loved working with

1024
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 1: my hands. I remember we had um like contractors working

1025
00:59:02,760 --> 00:59:06,080
Speaker 1: at my parents house and I would ask them for

1026
00:59:06,160 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 1: all the wood scraps and I they wouldn't give me

1027
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:12,640
Speaker 1: nails or a hammer or anything. So I was like, oh,

1028
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:15,520
Speaker 1: I could probably do this with masking tape. And it's

1029
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:18,880
Speaker 1: pretty much the same color as this pine. So I

1030
00:59:18,920 --> 00:59:24,440
Speaker 1: built a playhouse out of pine scraps and masking tape.

1031
00:59:25,000 --> 00:59:29,520
Speaker 1: And I remember I actually gave it. I gave it

1032
00:59:29,560 --> 00:59:34,440
Speaker 1: to Marcus McCutchen for his birthday, um at Chuck E Cheese,

1033
00:59:34,800 --> 00:59:37,360
Speaker 1: and I remember being so excited to give it to him,

1034
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:40,760
Speaker 1: like he was going to love it. I don't think

1035
00:59:40,800 --> 00:59:44,880
Speaker 1: he did, but but I spent probably like four hours

1036
00:59:44,960 --> 00:59:47,880
Speaker 1: on it, and I just kept thinking, he's going to

1037
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 1: play with his like Batman characters with this. She is

1038
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:54,120
Speaker 1: gonna love this. Think of all the people he could

1039
00:59:54,160 --> 00:59:57,560
Speaker 1: rescue in this house. You know, I just like, yeah,

1040
00:59:57,760 --> 01:00:01,720
Speaker 1: I still remember. I loved working with me hands, oh man,

1041
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:04,840
Speaker 1: and then dangerous stuff. Like my parents worked full time jobs,

1042
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,520
Speaker 1: so we were home like after school, and there was

1043
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:10,280
Speaker 1: always a nanny or somebody, and then eventually it was

1044
01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:13,280
Speaker 1: just me watching the kids. But I remember getting like

1045
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 1: a wagon and making I always wanted everyone to be safe,

1046
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:20,280
Speaker 1: so making a seatbelt, you know, for the roller coaster

1047
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:22,919
Speaker 1: that I just created for the wagon to go on

1048
01:00:23,440 --> 01:00:26,960
Speaker 1: out of like cardboard and wood scraps and oh yeah,

1049
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:31,400
Speaker 1: no dangerous. It worked. I always wanted to build like

1050
01:00:31,520 --> 01:00:35,400
Speaker 1: a carnival or a circus, and I felt like I could. Yeah,

1051
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:38,120
Speaker 1: I loved it. Those swing rides, you know, the ones

1052
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:41,720
Speaker 1: you get in the little metal square swings, that is

1053
01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:46,120
Speaker 1: my favorite. Those are good, yeah, and your feet dangling. Yeah,

1054
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:49,800
Speaker 1: and Ransom could get on a dangly swing rides together.

1055
01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:53,280
Speaker 1: It's my favorite thing. And it's so funny because on

1056
01:00:53,360 --> 01:00:56,800
Speaker 1: those if you pretend to run. You literally feel like

1057
01:00:56,800 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 1: you're in the b f G. Have you seen that

1058
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 1: movie The Big Friendly Giant. It's like one of my whoa, Okay,

1059
01:01:05,400 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 1: it's special. Okay, so I don't know if your kids

1060
01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:12,160
Speaker 1: are into movies, but it is a special one. Yeah,

1061
01:01:12,280 --> 01:01:14,120
Speaker 1: I need to see it. It took it took us

1062
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:16,360
Speaker 1: a while. We actually had to train Ransom how to

1063
01:01:16,360 --> 01:01:18,960
Speaker 1: watch TV. Um. She wouldn't do it. She didn't have

1064
01:01:18,960 --> 01:01:22,919
Speaker 1: the attention span. So um. Yeah, people be like, oh,

1065
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 1: my kids are watching way too much TV. And you know,

1066
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:28,000
Speaker 1: I wouldn't really say anything, but in my in the

1067
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 1: back of my mind, I was thinking I would pay

1068
01:01:29,960 --> 01:01:32,560
Speaker 1: someone a million dollars if they could get my kid

1069
01:01:32,640 --> 01:01:36,040
Speaker 1: to watch TV for thirty minutes, right, Like, I just

1070
01:01:36,080 --> 01:01:39,640
Speaker 1: want to pee alone, that's it. I mean, I want

1071
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:41,480
Speaker 1: to eat. I want to I want to eat a

1072
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 1: meal alone, go to the bathroom alone, something like that. Yeah. Like,

1073
01:01:45,840 --> 01:01:49,680
Speaker 1: you know, how old is your youngest story? Just turned four.

1074
01:01:49,960 --> 01:01:51,560
Speaker 1: I can't believe you have a story. By the way,

1075
01:01:51,600 --> 01:01:54,920
Speaker 1: my best friends have a baby name story. I actually

1076
01:01:54,960 --> 01:02:01,160
Speaker 1: got to meet her. Yeah, um wait, what's her mom's name? Lauren? Lauren? Yeah,

1077
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:04,320
Speaker 1: she was speaking at like a fashion Mama's event. But

1078
01:02:04,400 --> 01:02:07,600
Speaker 1: that's so exciting. Yeah, I met her and her husband

1079
01:02:07,720 --> 01:02:11,720
Speaker 1: was there and they were they were pushing her around

1080
01:02:11,840 --> 01:02:14,800
Speaker 1: and and yeah, I met them and I was like,

1081
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:16,840
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I have a daughter named Story. And

1082
01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:20,720
Speaker 1: then all of our minds exploded. Yeah, I mean, that's unbelievable.

1083
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:23,000
Speaker 1: We only know of one other girl named Story, and

1084
01:02:23,040 --> 01:02:25,560
Speaker 1: she's an adult. She's eighteen. Oh I think I know,

1085
01:02:25,720 --> 01:02:29,360
Speaker 1: maybe I know the same the same one, but as yeah,

1086
01:02:29,560 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 1: like I mean, she's her and her family do live

1087
01:02:32,080 --> 01:02:34,640
Speaker 1: in l A. It's just how we ran into her.

1088
01:02:34,760 --> 01:02:38,480
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it's crazy because the name it feels really

1089
01:02:38,520 --> 01:02:42,680
Speaker 1: magical and um and so sweet. And she's such a

1090
01:02:42,760 --> 01:02:45,920
Speaker 1: story like we her her middle name is Beatrix, but

1091
01:02:46,000 --> 01:02:50,000
Speaker 1: we call her Story be Yeah, I know, cute, yeah,

1092
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:54,160
Speaker 1: so fun. She's so fun. But yes, she's four going

1093
01:02:54,200 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 1: on sixteen, such fun ages. She's like a little adult

1094
01:02:57,480 --> 01:03:00,880
Speaker 1: though she's I feel like we always say, if she

1095
01:03:00,960 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 1: got lost in the woods, she would be fine, Like absolutely,

1096
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:08,400
Speaker 1: she would be fine. She would be friendly animals, she

1097
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:10,680
Speaker 1: would tell them what to do, how to hunt for

1098
01:03:10,720 --> 01:03:14,240
Speaker 1: food for her, and she would make you know, other

1099
01:03:14,480 --> 01:03:17,760
Speaker 1: animals or bears give give, their dens to her to

1100
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:20,240
Speaker 1: sleep in. It's like she's Cinderella meets the little girl

1101
01:03:20,240 --> 01:03:25,840
Speaker 1: from Brave. Yeah seriously, yes, right, yeah, my mind just exploded.

1102
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:30,600
Speaker 1: Every once in a a while, it just comes to me. Yeah,

1103
01:03:30,760 --> 01:03:36,320
Speaker 1: that's that's story for sure. Yeah. And she's four so cute.

1104
01:03:36,320 --> 01:03:39,400
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I love I just love it. Does

1105
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:43,040
Speaker 1: she and and she and Ransom like just to sleep

1106
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:45,400
Speaker 1: next to each other. As you said, so is she

1107
01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:48,720
Speaker 1: all into her blanket as well? She loves it. Sometimes

1108
01:03:48,760 --> 01:03:53,080
Speaker 1: she she likes to make waves because she doesn't get

1109
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:56,400
Speaker 1: all the attention. We're we're you know, we're working with

1110
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:58,720
Speaker 1: Ransom a lot, trying to get better at like giving

1111
01:03:58,800 --> 01:04:01,880
Speaker 1: everyone equal attention, and which is impossible, as apparent, even

1112
01:04:01,920 --> 01:04:05,760
Speaker 1: if your kid has sensory needs or not, Like it's impossible,

1113
01:04:05,880 --> 01:04:08,200
Speaker 1: but you know, we do our best. So she will

1114
01:04:08,400 --> 01:04:12,439
Speaker 1: do things. She'll copy Ransom, but in a weird way.

1115
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:15,959
Speaker 1: While you'll see her actually thinking, okay, okay, I'm gonna

1116
01:04:15,960 --> 01:04:19,320
Speaker 1: get on the floor, I'm gonna throw myself and then

1117
01:04:19,360 --> 01:04:21,840
Speaker 1: I'm going to scream. So she'll like get on her

1118
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 1: hands and knees and get on the floor and like

1119
01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:26,600
Speaker 1: fall over and like a weird planned way and then

1120
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:29,840
Speaker 1: scream to get attention. We're like story. She'll look up

1121
01:04:29,880 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 1: and be like, yeah, you're right, you got me. This

1122
01:04:34,040 --> 01:04:38,240
Speaker 1: wasn't real, But yeah, they're they're really close. And it's

1123
01:04:38,280 --> 01:04:40,680
Speaker 1: cool because all of this work that we do with

1124
01:04:40,760 --> 01:04:44,240
Speaker 1: Ransom teaching her, Like there's the school that she went

1125
01:04:44,280 --> 01:04:46,480
Speaker 1: to and they would teach us to press on the

1126
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:48,560
Speaker 1: top of your head. So if you put both of

1127
01:04:48,600 --> 01:04:51,400
Speaker 1: your hands on top of your head and you push down,

1128
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:55,200
Speaker 1: it feels really good, and like everybody do it. So

1129
01:04:55,240 --> 01:04:57,480
Speaker 1: put your hands on top of your head and push

1130
01:04:57,600 --> 01:05:00,320
Speaker 1: straight down. There's four people in a room doing just

1131
01:05:00,400 --> 01:05:04,040
Speaker 1: for the record for everyone and help me. It feels good, right,

1132
01:05:04,360 --> 01:05:06,680
Speaker 1: so you can and we would sing the song like

1133
01:05:06,800 --> 01:05:11,120
Speaker 1: this is the way we press our head. And then

1134
01:05:11,200 --> 01:05:13,880
Speaker 1: this is the way we hug ourselves. So you put

1135
01:05:13,880 --> 01:05:16,600
Speaker 1: your arms across your chest and you hug yourself and

1136
01:05:16,680 --> 01:05:19,000
Speaker 1: push on your own chest. You could even just put

1137
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:22,080
Speaker 1: your hands over your heart and push. That will calm

1138
01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:25,560
Speaker 1: you down. Um yeah, and then you the last one,

1139
01:05:25,600 --> 01:05:28,640
Speaker 1: you can put your hands together and squeeze really hard

1140
01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:32,240
Speaker 1: and that will kind of like you know, release some

1141
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:34,840
Speaker 1: good stuff and help you calm down. So we work

1142
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:37,720
Speaker 1: with them on this, and then obviously taking a deep breath,

1143
01:05:38,160 --> 01:05:42,080
Speaker 1: breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth,

1144
01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:46,200
Speaker 1: and you usually want to count to four both ways.

1145
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:50,840
Speaker 1: So they all know these things now. So if Ransom

1146
01:05:50,920 --> 01:05:54,440
Speaker 1: is having a really hard time, Story will either lovingly

1147
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:59,480
Speaker 1: or kind of annoyed, be like, Ransom take a breath,

1148
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:04,040
Speaker 1: and she'll go up to her and breathe, you know,

1149
01:06:04,160 --> 01:06:09,240
Speaker 1: breathing really for four seconds, angrily, and vice versa. Like

1150
01:06:09,280 --> 01:06:11,640
Speaker 1: if stories having a hard time, Ransom will come over

1151
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:15,640
Speaker 1: and Ransom like, Story is like our wild child, and

1152
01:06:15,760 --> 01:06:19,720
Speaker 1: she's just so independent and amazing. But Ransom like, she's

1153
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:22,800
Speaker 1: got all these sensory things, but she has so much

1154
01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:27,880
Speaker 1: empathy for people and animals and baby like little babies,

1155
01:06:28,000 --> 01:06:31,200
Speaker 1: it's insane. So she like, if stories having a hard

1156
01:06:31,200 --> 01:06:33,400
Speaker 1: time and Ransom is pretty regulated, she'll go up to

1157
01:06:33,440 --> 01:06:38,880
Speaker 1: her and go story, Story, Oh, she rolls her our story, story,

1158
01:06:39,120 --> 01:06:42,919
Speaker 1: are you okay? Story b and like she'll still say

1159
01:06:43,040 --> 01:06:46,040
Speaker 1: you could take a breath, or you can push your

1160
01:06:46,080 --> 01:06:49,640
Speaker 1: head like this, and she'll show her and sometimes Story

1161
01:06:49,640 --> 01:06:52,280
Speaker 1: will do it, and then it's the cutest thing in

1162
01:06:52,360 --> 01:06:56,320
Speaker 1: your whole heart explodes from all the goodness and sometimes

1163
01:06:56,320 --> 01:06:58,640
Speaker 1: story will get annoyed and just walk away. But it's

1164
01:06:58,720 --> 01:07:02,400
Speaker 1: really sweet to watch each them take the tools and

1165
01:07:02,520 --> 01:07:05,840
Speaker 1: use them because you don't need to have like extra

1166
01:07:06,000 --> 01:07:09,920
Speaker 1: special sensory you know, needs or difficulties with sensory to

1167
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:12,080
Speaker 1: use some of these tools to calm down every once

1168
01:07:12,080 --> 01:07:17,000
Speaker 1: in a while, Like I'm I'm running this business, and uh,

1169
01:07:17,160 --> 01:07:19,640
Speaker 1: and it's me. So I I do have like nine

1170
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,720
Speaker 1: employee I think we have nine employees right now, but

1171
01:07:22,840 --> 01:07:26,200
Speaker 1: they're mostly on the production side, so that's like I'm

1172
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:30,600
Speaker 1: the manufacturer, so on the administrative side, like or you know,

1173
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:34,000
Speaker 1: like it's me and the part time girl. And so

1174
01:07:34,440 --> 01:07:36,520
Speaker 1: we're and I have I have a bookkeeper, and I

1175
01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:39,120
Speaker 1: have a business manager that like will come in and

1176
01:07:39,160 --> 01:07:41,720
Speaker 1: give me some tips and hints from you know, time

1177
01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:44,480
Speaker 1: to time, but we're not big enough to like have

1178
01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:49,240
Speaker 1: that yet. And so yeah, and I'm I still have

1179
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:53,600
Speaker 1: my hand literally in every aspect of the business. So

1180
01:07:53,800 --> 01:07:58,120
Speaker 1: I'll wake up and we'll do the morning routine with

1181
01:07:58,160 --> 01:08:01,640
Speaker 1: the kids, get them off to school. Jordan's walks down

1182
01:08:01,640 --> 01:08:04,800
Speaker 1: the mountain to the train, takes that into the city

1183
01:08:04,840 --> 01:08:07,280
Speaker 1: and walks to school. Poor thing, she's going to be

1184
01:08:07,320 --> 01:08:10,320
Speaker 1: so resilient. But and then yeah, we take the kids

1185
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:12,200
Speaker 1: and then I go off to work and I'll probably

1186
01:08:12,200 --> 01:08:14,520
Speaker 1: get there around nine, or I'll take a medium at nine.

1187
01:08:14,880 --> 01:08:16,880
Speaker 1: Then we go get the kids at six, and I work.

1188
01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:19,040
Speaker 1: I work through my lunch. It's rare that I take

1189
01:08:19,040 --> 01:08:22,280
Speaker 1: a lunch. And then I will will get the kids

1190
01:08:22,280 --> 01:08:24,840
Speaker 1: at five thirty, spend some time with them, put them

1191
01:08:24,880 --> 01:08:28,120
Speaker 1: to bed, and then I whip out my computer on

1192
01:08:28,160 --> 01:08:31,599
Speaker 1: my phone and I start planning socialized, start editing photos

1193
01:08:31,600 --> 01:08:34,680
Speaker 1: and doing you know whatever else I need to do.

1194
01:08:35,200 --> 01:08:39,439
Speaker 1: All the emails, um, I have some the girls that

1195
01:08:39,479 --> 01:08:43,000
Speaker 1: make blankets will also step in and do some. We'll

1196
01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:45,000
Speaker 1: do some customer service. And I have a girl who

1197
01:08:45,120 --> 01:08:48,799
Speaker 1: who does something like all the shipping emails. But everything

1198
01:08:48,840 --> 01:08:50,479
Speaker 1: else is me. And so people like, can I have

1199
01:08:50,479 --> 01:08:53,280
Speaker 1: your PR department? And I'm like, yes, let me chance

1200
01:08:53,320 --> 01:08:56,679
Speaker 1: for you, you know, or like you. For the most part,

1201
01:08:56,680 --> 01:09:00,160
Speaker 1: I'm pretty much like, hey, it's me, it's Pam. I'm here.

1202
01:09:00,439 --> 01:09:04,000
Speaker 1: We don't actually have that, but but I can. I

1203
01:09:04,040 --> 01:09:06,920
Speaker 1: can help you with whatever. And people right back like, wait,

1204
01:09:06,920 --> 01:09:09,400
Speaker 1: you're answering your own emails, your own d MS, your

1205
01:09:09,400 --> 01:09:12,240
Speaker 1: own social and well who else is going to do it,

1206
01:09:13,360 --> 01:09:16,120
Speaker 1: of course I am. So we work a lot, and

1207
01:09:16,200 --> 01:09:19,280
Speaker 1: the kids are in school and with daycare, and when

1208
01:09:19,320 --> 01:09:21,559
Speaker 1: we can, we'll take, you know, take some time and

1209
01:09:21,840 --> 01:09:24,840
Speaker 1: do like extra special lunches with them. But I think

1210
01:09:24,920 --> 01:09:27,639
Speaker 1: it's really important for them to see how hard we're working,

1211
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:30,559
Speaker 1: and like for them to see us building something really

1212
01:09:30,600 --> 01:09:34,280
Speaker 1: beautiful that's helping a lot of people. I feel like

1213
01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:37,639
Speaker 1: if it wasn't helping people, there's no way I would

1214
01:09:37,840 --> 01:09:40,920
Speaker 1: be doing this, Like it's taking away time with my kids,

1215
01:09:40,960 --> 01:09:43,840
Speaker 1: you know, because it's hard. Running a business is hard.

1216
01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:47,519
Speaker 1: People think it's glamorous and it's tough. What do you

1217
01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:52,160
Speaker 1: what do you feel like you've learned about yourself through

1218
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:55,640
Speaker 1: this whole process, through starting this company and you know

1219
01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:58,720
Speaker 1: and running this thing. I mean, how much more time

1220
01:09:58,760 --> 01:10:01,920
Speaker 1: do we I mean it could be an anecdote or

1221
01:10:01,920 --> 01:10:04,400
Speaker 1: it could even be like there's these things I never

1222
01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:09,240
Speaker 1: expected that I've run into. UM. I think the biggest

1223
01:10:09,240 --> 01:10:11,720
Speaker 1: thing for me UM when I think about starting the

1224
01:10:11,720 --> 01:10:17,200
Speaker 1: business and running it is there's no there's no book,

1225
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:21,000
Speaker 1: there's no website to go to that's like Okay, do

1226
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:24,559
Speaker 1: this and then do this. It's like you're starting this company,

1227
01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:26,439
Speaker 1: you have to figure out how to source your fabric,

1228
01:10:26,520 --> 01:10:28,360
Speaker 1: how to cut the fabric, how to get it delivered

1229
01:10:28,400 --> 01:10:30,920
Speaker 1: back and forth, how to make sure that the fabric

1230
01:10:31,000 --> 01:10:35,080
Speaker 1: hasn't been like like gotten wet or like something hasn't

1231
01:10:35,080 --> 01:10:38,240
Speaker 1: happened to it checking it. And then there's that whole

1232
01:10:38,439 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 1: legistics site, and then there's that do you have the

1233
01:10:41,120 --> 01:10:44,720
Speaker 1: right permits? Do you have the right license? Do you

1234
01:10:44,960 --> 01:10:49,720
Speaker 1: are you infringing on somebody's phrase that they're using, Um,

1235
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:52,759
Speaker 1: can you use that word? Can you not? The first

1236
01:10:53,720 --> 01:10:56,200
Speaker 1: when I first made the blanket, I called the company Waited,

1237
01:10:56,840 --> 01:10:59,240
Speaker 1: And turns out you can't use the name weighted to

1238
01:10:59,320 --> 01:11:02,080
Speaker 1: describe a way to blanket company because somebody has a

1239
01:11:02,120 --> 01:11:04,720
Speaker 1: trademark to that. So I was like, oh wow, Like

1240
01:11:04,920 --> 01:11:08,360
Speaker 1: that was the and I remember thinking, well, I guess

1241
01:11:08,360 --> 01:11:11,280
Speaker 1: I'm not going to start a company. Like literally it

1242
01:11:11,360 --> 01:11:14,920
Speaker 1: was like first roadblock and I'm like, ah, this feels

1243
01:11:14,960 --> 01:11:18,920
Speaker 1: hard my whole I really liked how it looked on paper.

1244
01:11:19,080 --> 01:11:21,160
Speaker 1: It felt fun and it was kind of just like,

1245
01:11:21,600 --> 01:11:24,160
Speaker 1: you know, waited and people are what is that It's

1246
01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:27,080
Speaker 1: a way to blanket and it was just it was

1247
01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:31,840
Speaker 1: so silly. But yeah, I remember every little thing along

1248
01:11:31,880 --> 01:11:36,439
Speaker 1: the way made me literally stop and want to give up.

1249
01:11:37,200 --> 01:11:40,400
Speaker 1: And I was like, I don't know, four times a week, um,

1250
01:11:40,520 --> 01:11:43,519
Speaker 1: so any little thing like our first deal that we

1251
01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:48,280
Speaker 1: had with Nordstrom. They emailed me, and I remember I

1252
01:11:48,320 --> 01:11:51,759
Speaker 1: think I literally fainted. I got like my life, couldn't

1253
01:11:51,760 --> 01:11:54,639
Speaker 1: feel my legs. And then I just kept telling myself

1254
01:11:54,720 --> 01:11:57,479
Speaker 1: like this is a joke, Like they're not They're not

1255
01:11:57,800 --> 01:12:00,280
Speaker 1: really emailing me, Like this must be one of those

1256
01:12:00,320 --> 01:12:04,400
Speaker 1: spam accounts, Like this isn't real. And like I remember

1257
01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:08,439
Speaker 1: talking with them for the first time and and just

1258
01:12:08,640 --> 01:12:11,880
Speaker 1: sitting in my garage that was full of junk, and

1259
01:12:11,920 --> 01:12:13,960
Speaker 1: then there was a little corner that we were making

1260
01:12:14,000 --> 01:12:18,920
Speaker 1: blankets and thinking this is this is not real, Like

1261
01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:23,040
Speaker 1: it's literally the most real feeling I've ever had was that,

1262
01:12:23,520 --> 01:12:26,479
Speaker 1: and then realizing that, like I didn't return their email

1263
01:12:26,520 --> 01:12:28,280
Speaker 1: for a long time because I thought it was fake,

1264
01:12:28,880 --> 01:12:32,320
Speaker 1: and I remember like literally shaking, and I was laying

1265
01:12:32,320 --> 01:12:35,280
Speaker 1: on the floor and my girlfriend Rachel, who is also

1266
01:12:35,360 --> 01:12:38,680
Speaker 1: our production manager, she put the way to blanket on me,

1267
01:12:38,720 --> 01:12:40,679
Speaker 1: and it's like I'm just going to leave you there,

1268
01:12:41,320 --> 01:12:44,760
Speaker 1: And that just became sort of like what people do

1269
01:12:44,840 --> 01:12:47,040
Speaker 1: when I'm having a panic attack. Now I usually end

1270
01:12:47,120 --> 01:12:49,519
Speaker 1: up on the floor or a couch. They just pile

1271
01:12:49,640 --> 01:12:52,280
Speaker 1: the blankets on if if it looks bad, they'll put

1272
01:12:52,360 --> 01:12:57,400
Speaker 1: to your heavy blank My heavy blankets they put on me. Um.

1273
01:12:57,439 --> 01:13:00,519
Speaker 1: But yeah, that like every step of the way, there's

1274
01:13:00,560 --> 01:13:03,360
Speaker 1: been an obstacle that I have to figure out how

1275
01:13:03,400 --> 01:13:06,200
Speaker 1: to get around and figure out how to make it right.

1276
01:13:06,600 --> 01:13:09,880
Speaker 1: But something has kept you going over every single one

1277
01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:14,000
Speaker 1: of those hurdles, which is so cool. Whether it's the inspiration,

1278
01:13:14,080 --> 01:13:19,120
Speaker 1: the commitment, the knowledge that this really matters, you've kept

1279
01:13:19,240 --> 01:13:22,160
Speaker 1: going and that makes me so excited. When I hear

1280
01:13:22,200 --> 01:13:26,120
Speaker 1: about people starting businesses or coming up with ideas like this,

1281
01:13:26,320 --> 01:13:29,160
Speaker 1: I just I want to cheerly to be like, keep going.

1282
01:13:29,640 --> 01:13:31,519
Speaker 1: You call me once a week and just tell me this.

1283
01:13:31,640 --> 01:13:37,080
Speaker 1: I sure, I know, just like send you videos you

1284
01:13:37,160 --> 01:13:41,479
Speaker 1: can do it. I was obviously that was terrible. Glad

1285
01:13:41,560 --> 01:13:43,640
Speaker 1: no one at home got to see that. It's a

1286
01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:49,360
Speaker 1: work in progress. It really is, Honestly, it's i't it'll

1287
01:13:49,400 --> 01:13:51,920
Speaker 1: never really get worked out, but it's fine. What do

1288
01:13:51,960 --> 01:13:54,800
Speaker 1: you think is the best for the most rewarding part

1289
01:13:55,960 --> 01:13:58,960
Speaker 1: of running your own business? Yeah, so all the little

1290
01:13:59,040 --> 01:14:04,280
Speaker 1: hurdles are crazy, but the most rewarding part. I'm this

1291
01:14:04,360 --> 01:14:05,800
Speaker 1: is why I have a little bit of help with

1292
01:14:05,840 --> 01:14:08,800
Speaker 1: some of my emails now, because I feel things on

1293
01:14:08,840 --> 01:14:14,120
Speaker 1: such a deep level. So I get emails all the

1294
01:14:14,200 --> 01:14:19,120
Speaker 1: time of people saying that I've literally like saved their life,

1295
01:14:19,160 --> 01:14:22,920
Speaker 1: that they had a suicidal teen and they bought this

1296
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:27,120
Speaker 1: blanket for that teenager and they can see this teenager

1297
01:14:27,439 --> 01:14:31,000
Speaker 1: like now, not that they're necessarily thriving, but being able

1298
01:14:31,040 --> 01:14:34,080
Speaker 1: to have a tool to comfort themselves when they're having

1299
01:14:34,120 --> 01:14:38,479
Speaker 1: a hard, dark moment. People who whose little children have

1300
01:14:38,920 --> 01:14:42,800
Speaker 1: sensory difficulties or autism or any other type of invisible

1301
01:14:42,880 --> 01:14:46,200
Speaker 1: or visible illness that the blankets help with. They will

1302
01:14:46,240 --> 01:14:49,680
Speaker 1: write me these insane heartfelt emails or d m s,

1303
01:14:50,160 --> 01:14:53,160
Speaker 1: and if I go, if I read a bunch of

1304
01:14:53,200 --> 01:14:55,400
Speaker 1: them at once, like I'm just sobbing and the day

1305
01:14:55,479 --> 01:15:00,600
Speaker 1: is just shot. So it's it's amazing, though, Like I

1306
01:15:00,600 --> 01:15:04,360
Speaker 1: I think that's why I keep doing it. My thing

1307
01:15:04,439 --> 01:15:06,439
Speaker 1: is like I don't know how I would run a

1308
01:15:06,479 --> 01:15:10,559
Speaker 1: company where I wasn't like aware that I was literally

1309
01:15:10,640 --> 01:15:13,479
Speaker 1: changing people's lives. I probably just wouldn't do it. I'd

1310
01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:16,120
Speaker 1: do something else. I like projects, and I like being

1311
01:15:16,560 --> 01:15:18,960
Speaker 1: surrounded by chaos. So I think I'm good at this,

1312
01:15:19,120 --> 01:15:23,640
Speaker 1: and I thrive in like in a an a hectic situation.

1313
01:15:23,880 --> 01:15:27,840
Speaker 1: So when we're we're actually um. We have a store

1314
01:15:28,160 --> 01:15:33,120
Speaker 1: that's going to be opening, and I'm also trying to

1315
01:15:33,439 --> 01:15:35,800
Speaker 1: run the business and fill a couple of orders for

1316
01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:40,000
Speaker 1: a few collaborations that we have coming up. And every

1317
01:15:40,040 --> 01:15:43,479
Speaker 1: single day I feel like this isn't this isn't gonna work,

1318
01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:46,080
Speaker 1: Like I can't breathe. I don't know how we're going

1319
01:15:46,120 --> 01:15:48,680
Speaker 1: to do this. But then all of a sudden, I

1320
01:15:48,760 --> 01:15:51,360
Speaker 1: like pick myself up and I can just do it.

1321
01:15:51,479 --> 01:15:54,360
Speaker 1: I thrive in that. But if you give me an

1322
01:15:54,600 --> 01:15:58,640
Speaker 1: entire day to myself, I will just get depressed. I

1323
01:15:58,680 --> 01:16:02,680
Speaker 1: won't even know what to do. Oh my god, I panic. Yeah, yeah,

1324
01:16:02,720 --> 01:16:05,920
Speaker 1: because now it's been so long since I've had a

1325
01:16:06,080 --> 01:16:10,679
Speaker 1: day off that when I have a day, an unplanned day,

1326
01:16:10,760 --> 01:16:13,519
Speaker 1: I get I'm so overwhelmed because there's a thousand things

1327
01:16:13,560 --> 01:16:14,600
Speaker 1: I want to do. When I want to do the

1328
01:16:14,680 --> 01:16:16,559
Speaker 1: Rosetta stone, and I want to take a piano lesson,

1329
01:16:16,560 --> 01:16:18,080
Speaker 1: and I want to see all my friends. Maybe I

1330
01:16:18,080 --> 01:16:19,920
Speaker 1: should go for a hike, but also maybe I should

1331
01:16:19,920 --> 01:16:21,160
Speaker 1: take the dog to the beach and maybe I should

1332
01:16:21,200 --> 01:16:24,519
Speaker 1: get and I freak out because I don't know what

1333
01:16:24,560 --> 01:16:28,600
Speaker 1: to do. So then you do nothing and or you

1334
01:16:28,720 --> 01:16:32,760
Speaker 1: just like for me, I'll just like sit there. But

1335
01:16:32,800 --> 01:16:35,800
Speaker 1: sometimes that's what you need to do, is the sitting. Yeah,

1336
01:16:35,880 --> 01:16:37,760
Speaker 1: and then it but it's like you don't get the

1337
01:16:38,040 --> 01:16:40,679
Speaker 1: real you feel like you wasted it. Yeah, I feel

1338
01:16:40,720 --> 01:16:43,680
Speaker 1: I feel so seen. Where are the like where we

1339
01:16:43,720 --> 01:16:45,920
Speaker 1: need to cover ear later? Just wrap myself and but

1340
01:16:46,080 --> 01:16:49,880
Speaker 1: like I just love having because I'm a crazy person

1341
01:16:50,000 --> 01:16:51,840
Speaker 1: or not, I'm kind of that. That's you're right, not

1342
01:16:51,880 --> 01:16:55,320
Speaker 1: an appropriate word I am. I like, I am a

1343
01:16:55,360 --> 01:17:00,240
Speaker 1: little obsessive about things, and I have well you know

1344
01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:02,760
Speaker 1: obviously I got them from you. I don't know what

1345
01:17:02,840 --> 01:17:05,760
Speaker 1: I'm doing, but I have because you know, I have

1346
01:17:05,800 --> 01:17:08,479
Speaker 1: two blankets, so I have both weight options, which is

1347
01:17:08,479 --> 01:17:10,400
Speaker 1: really nice. So sometimes I'm like I want my medium

1348
01:17:10,400 --> 01:17:13,160
Speaker 1: blanket and sometimes I want my heavy blanket and it's

1349
01:17:13,200 --> 01:17:17,880
Speaker 1: it is really lovely. Yeah, oh my god, so cool.

1350
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:21,840
Speaker 1: I feel very seene. Oh good, I'm so glad. I

1351
01:17:21,880 --> 01:17:24,760
Speaker 1: feel like that's like my whole thing now my so

1352
01:17:24,880 --> 01:17:27,919
Speaker 1: that's my work in progress actually, like cheerleading jokes aside

1353
01:17:28,479 --> 01:17:31,920
Speaker 1: learning how to have a day off and enjoy it

1354
01:17:32,000 --> 01:17:34,840
Speaker 1: is a work in progress for me. Yeah, what's a

1355
01:17:34,920 --> 01:17:37,960
Speaker 1: work in progress for you? Okay, Okay, So my my

1356
01:17:38,120 --> 01:17:42,679
Speaker 1: work in progress is UM that I'm trying. I'm working

1357
01:17:42,760 --> 01:17:48,720
Speaker 1: on being more direct and bold in my decisions and

1358
01:17:48,800 --> 01:17:51,160
Speaker 1: what I'm doing, especially for my company, but even with

1359
01:17:51,240 --> 01:17:55,120
Speaker 1: family or friends, I am such a people pleaser, and

1360
01:17:55,200 --> 01:17:58,960
Speaker 1: so I'm constantly thinking like, well, will this, will this

1361
01:17:59,040 --> 01:18:01,439
Speaker 1: disappoint them? Will they be upset? How are they going

1362
01:18:01,479 --> 01:18:05,919
Speaker 1: to react to this? And I've found that in business,

1363
01:18:06,000 --> 01:18:09,160
Speaker 1: like with I'm when I'm dealing with my employees, that is,

1364
01:18:09,640 --> 01:18:12,400
Speaker 1: it doesn't feel good for your boss not to have

1365
01:18:12,520 --> 01:18:16,000
Speaker 1: a direct answer and to have like a direct vision.

1366
01:18:16,080 --> 01:18:19,880
Speaker 1: And so I'm such a verbal processor obviously, So you

1367
01:18:19,880 --> 01:18:22,519
Speaker 1: guys are like listening to I know, I feel like

1368
01:18:22,560 --> 01:18:25,759
Speaker 1: I've gone off so many tangents on this um during

1369
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:28,640
Speaker 1: this on this journey with you, UM, and then I

1370
01:18:28,680 --> 01:18:30,800
Speaker 1: forget what I'm talking about, Like where was I I

1371
01:18:30,840 --> 01:18:34,240
Speaker 1: don't know? But yeah, but so I've gone off on

1372
01:18:34,280 --> 01:18:38,360
Speaker 1: so many tangents. But I verbally process. And my employees

1373
01:18:38,960 --> 01:18:41,840
Speaker 1: they're amazing and I love them dearly and I know

1374
01:18:41,920 --> 01:18:44,840
Speaker 1: they love me. But I also know that it sends

1375
01:18:44,880 --> 01:18:48,520
Speaker 1: them a lot of mixed signals when I'm verbally processing

1376
01:18:48,560 --> 01:18:51,000
Speaker 1: in front of them instead of giving them a direct answer.

1377
01:18:51,640 --> 01:18:54,240
Speaker 1: And there was actually over the summer, I let people

1378
01:18:54,320 --> 01:18:57,200
Speaker 1: come in whenever they wanted, as long as they got

1379
01:18:57,200 --> 01:18:59,640
Speaker 1: their work done, and it ended up being like not

1380
01:19:00,000 --> 01:19:03,439
Speaker 1: active at all because everyone's working different schedules. And then

1381
01:19:03,439 --> 01:19:05,040
Speaker 1: I'd get there and want to do a meeting and

1382
01:19:05,080 --> 01:19:07,880
Speaker 1: nobody was in the office, and so I'm like having

1383
01:19:07,960 --> 01:19:09,840
Speaker 1: a meeting with one person and then I have to

1384
01:19:09,880 --> 01:19:14,960
Speaker 1: email everyone else and so but in October UM, we finally, yeah,

1385
01:19:15,040 --> 01:19:20,280
Speaker 1: in October, we switched to a set schedule, set office hours,

1386
01:19:20,840 --> 01:19:23,920
Speaker 1: and it was such a relief for me, and I

1387
01:19:23,960 --> 01:19:25,840
Speaker 1: think it was a huge relief for all the girls too,

1388
01:19:25,840 --> 01:19:29,559
Speaker 1: because they kind of like have that set schedule, they

1389
01:19:29,600 --> 01:19:32,840
Speaker 1: have their boundaries, and then they can work within them.

1390
01:19:33,000 --> 01:19:36,679
Speaker 1: I think so many people work great like that. Even

1391
01:19:36,680 --> 01:19:39,599
Speaker 1: if you're a creative thinker and you're you work you know,

1392
01:19:39,640 --> 01:19:41,599
Speaker 1: outside of the box here and there, you need some

1393
01:19:41,640 --> 01:19:44,760
Speaker 1: boundaries to just like hone in, bring in and and

1394
01:19:44,800 --> 01:19:46,960
Speaker 1: then I feel like you can be super productive and

1395
01:19:46,960 --> 01:19:51,120
Speaker 1: creative within those boundaries. So I feel that so deep yeah.

1396
01:19:51,320 --> 01:19:56,520
Speaker 1: So really me being bold and direct and really confident

1397
01:19:56,720 --> 01:19:59,559
Speaker 1: in my decisions because I feel like a fraud. Like

1398
01:19:59,720 --> 01:20:04,760
Speaker 1: I I was at I don't know Manuela, and I

1399
01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:08,400
Speaker 1: was in the restroom washing my hands and somebody turns

1400
01:20:08,400 --> 01:20:12,360
Speaker 1: around and goes, it's you. And I didn't know who

1401
01:20:12,400 --> 01:20:14,439
Speaker 1: they were talking to, and they were talking to me

1402
01:20:14,600 --> 01:20:18,679
Speaker 1: like they recognized me from like, you know, Instagram or something,

1403
01:20:18,760 --> 01:20:21,799
Speaker 1: and she had she owns a blanket, and she proceeded

1404
01:20:21,800 --> 01:20:23,559
Speaker 1: to tell me that she's a teacher and she wants

1405
01:20:23,560 --> 01:20:25,240
Speaker 1: them for all the kids in her class. And then

1406
01:20:25,240 --> 01:20:27,280
Speaker 1: the people pleaser and me is like, well, write me,

1407
01:20:27,320 --> 01:20:29,439
Speaker 1: I guess I'll send you thirty two blankets. You know,

1408
01:20:29,560 --> 01:20:32,599
Speaker 1: I just I yeah, I know. I have this conversation

1409
01:20:32,640 --> 01:20:34,080
Speaker 1: with my husband all the time. I'm like, why are

1410
01:20:34,120 --> 01:20:37,000
Speaker 1: we not billionaires? We could just give these away? Everyone

1411
01:20:37,120 --> 01:20:41,120
Speaker 1: needs these, but we're not there. That's I mean, we

1412
01:20:41,200 --> 01:20:43,720
Speaker 1: want a charitable aspect to the blankets. Later on, I

1413
01:20:43,760 --> 01:20:46,360
Speaker 1: hope it really works out. But it was so cool

1414
01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:50,040
Speaker 1: too for this woman to tell me in person how

1415
01:20:50,040 --> 01:20:52,879
Speaker 1: this blanket is changing in her life and how amazing

1416
01:20:53,600 --> 01:20:56,639
Speaker 1: she thinks it is. And she was literally encouraging me,

1417
01:20:56,800 --> 01:20:59,400
Speaker 1: like keep going keep doing this like you're doing an

1418
01:20:59,439 --> 01:21:02,840
Speaker 1: amazing job. And it just blew my mind because first

1419
01:21:02,880 --> 01:21:05,360
Speaker 1: of all, I'm like, god, she has no idea, Like

1420
01:21:05,479 --> 01:21:09,040
Speaker 1: I am like not that cool or that you know.

1421
01:21:09,160 --> 01:21:11,559
Speaker 1: I mean, it happens once, like you know, this doesn't

1422
01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:13,840
Speaker 1: happen all the time. But yeah, my husband kind of

1423
01:21:13,880 --> 01:21:15,920
Speaker 1: laughed too. He's like, man, she doesn't have to live

1424
01:21:15,960 --> 01:21:20,200
Speaker 1: with you, just keeping you helpful. I know, yeah, I

1425
01:21:20,200 --> 01:21:23,320
Speaker 1: know that's what he's good for. That he's great, But yeah,

1426
01:21:23,400 --> 01:21:27,479
Speaker 1: it's I think just being confident and and really owning

1427
01:21:27,520 --> 01:21:30,600
Speaker 1: the fact that these are changing people's lives, like they

1428
01:21:31,960 --> 01:21:34,240
Speaker 1: the letters that we get are proof of that, and

1429
01:21:34,400 --> 01:21:38,400
Speaker 1: like the testimonials from people, and I just need to

1430
01:21:38,479 --> 01:21:43,320
Speaker 1: be a little bit more confident and sort of accept

1431
01:21:43,320 --> 01:21:46,719
Speaker 1: that or like know that instead of keep because I'll

1432
01:21:46,720 --> 01:21:49,360
Speaker 1: find myself saying over and over, oh, we're just a

1433
01:21:49,360 --> 01:21:51,400
Speaker 1: brand new company, like we were just in my garage

1434
01:21:51,400 --> 01:21:53,720
Speaker 1: a few months ago. It's like, no, we're gonna be

1435
01:21:53,800 --> 01:21:56,679
Speaker 1: two years old. I mean, I've only had a production

1436
01:21:56,800 --> 01:22:00,600
Speaker 1: team for less than a year with a legit warehouse operation,

1437
01:22:00,720 --> 01:22:04,200
Speaker 1: but I mean, ultimately I've had an LLC for almost

1438
01:22:04,240 --> 01:22:08,439
Speaker 1: two years. Of companies fail within their first year. Okay,

1439
01:22:08,560 --> 01:22:11,160
Speaker 1: well you should feel like a rock star. No I

1440
01:22:11,200 --> 01:22:13,840
Speaker 1: said the word. I said this should word, but I

1441
01:22:13,920 --> 01:22:17,280
Speaker 1: meant it in a complimentary way. Okay, well, maybe you're

1442
01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:19,679
Speaker 1: changing that word for me. Maybe it's not trigger anymore.

1443
01:22:19,680 --> 01:22:21,800
Speaker 1: One of my best friend's, Emily, says the best thing.

1444
01:22:21,960 --> 01:22:24,439
Speaker 1: She anytime I say, you know, I should be this,

1445
01:22:24,640 --> 01:22:26,559
Speaker 1: or should have done that already or whatever, She'll go,

1446
01:22:26,600 --> 01:22:30,960
Speaker 1: stop shooting all over yourself. Oh I love her loves

1447
01:22:31,760 --> 01:22:34,960
Speaker 1: and by extension, you stop shooting all over other people.

1448
01:22:35,280 --> 01:22:39,120
Speaker 1: Oh you know what I'm saying. Whoa, Oh my gosh, Famila,

1449
01:22:39,200 --> 01:22:42,800
Speaker 1: thank you so much. This has just been so inspiring

1450
01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:46,880
Speaker 1: and I really appreciate you coming and hey letting me

1451
01:22:47,080 --> 01:22:51,599
Speaker 1: fangirl about my blankets and be just sharing so much

1452
01:22:51,640 --> 01:22:54,439
Speaker 1: of your story and your experience and your family. It's

1453
01:22:54,479 --> 01:22:57,800
Speaker 1: really beautiful. Oh wow, thank you so much. I was

1454
01:22:57,920 --> 01:23:00,880
Speaker 1: so nervous coming in, and I always get a little

1455
01:23:00,880 --> 01:23:04,040
Speaker 1: bit nervous talking like telling my story and talking about

1456
01:23:04,040 --> 01:23:07,360
Speaker 1: my daughter because part of me also feels like what

1457
01:23:07,479 --> 01:23:10,479
Speaker 1: if she doesn't want me to tell her story? And

1458
01:23:10,560 --> 01:23:13,920
Speaker 1: so I I've had this battle a lot within myself.

1459
01:23:14,600 --> 01:23:18,160
Speaker 1: But when it comes down to it. I know from

1460
01:23:18,200 --> 01:23:20,240
Speaker 1: the amount of emails that we get in d MS

1461
01:23:20,280 --> 01:23:23,320
Speaker 1: that we get how grateful people are that I am

1462
01:23:23,400 --> 01:23:27,599
Speaker 1: talking about it, and I just I just really hope

1463
01:23:27,640 --> 01:23:29,800
Speaker 1: that she grows up and is really glad that I

1464
01:23:29,840 --> 01:23:32,720
Speaker 1: did what I did. Um. I want to do it

1465
01:23:32,760 --> 01:23:35,599
Speaker 1: with the utmost respect to her and the utmost respect

1466
01:23:35,640 --> 01:23:38,720
Speaker 1: to anybody that's going through this, because some like, our

1467
01:23:38,760 --> 01:23:42,040
Speaker 1: story is so different from any other child who has

1468
01:23:42,080 --> 01:23:46,320
Speaker 1: sensory or autism, Like they're all so so unique and

1469
01:23:46,439 --> 01:23:50,439
Speaker 1: different and specific like to themselves. Like there was there's

1470
01:23:50,479 --> 01:23:53,080
Speaker 1: some meme or something that goes around says, if you've

1471
01:23:53,120 --> 01:23:57,920
Speaker 1: met one child with autism, you've met one child with autism,

1472
01:23:57,960 --> 01:24:04,040
Speaker 1: And so every dificulty or roadblock that they struggle with

1473
01:24:04,439 --> 01:24:07,320
Speaker 1: is it's going to be different. Nothing will be the same.

1474
01:24:07,400 --> 01:24:10,240
Speaker 1: Sometimes they'll say oh, or people will say, oh, she

1475
01:24:10,240 --> 01:24:13,840
Speaker 1: she makes eye contact, so she she obviously she's she's fine.

1476
01:24:13,880 --> 01:24:16,400
Speaker 1: She's an a boutism. It's like, well, the way that

1477
01:24:16,479 --> 01:24:20,040
Speaker 1: her brain processes information is different than the way our

1478
01:24:20,040 --> 01:24:25,360
Speaker 1: brain's process information, and so it sometimes will fast track

1479
01:24:25,439 --> 01:24:28,000
Speaker 1: in some areas and then take a little bit longer

1480
01:24:28,040 --> 01:24:31,800
Speaker 1: to get there and others. But yeah, I just I

1481
01:24:31,880 --> 01:24:35,680
Speaker 1: love that. I love that people are being encouraged by

1482
01:24:35,680 --> 01:24:39,160
Speaker 1: it because it's been a little bit of a struggle

1483
01:24:39,280 --> 01:24:41,360
Speaker 1: for me, and I think I'm starting to just own

1484
01:24:41,400 --> 01:24:45,040
Speaker 1: it because this is our story. Ultimately, it is our story,

1485
01:24:45,120 --> 01:24:48,120
Speaker 1: this is our life. And if me being open and

1486
01:24:48,200 --> 01:24:51,360
Speaker 1: really vulnerable with it means that I'm going to encourage

1487
01:24:51,400 --> 01:24:54,680
Speaker 1: another parent to have their child, you know, evaluated, or

1488
01:24:55,120 --> 01:24:57,800
Speaker 1: bring bring up something at their next doctor's appointment, that

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01:24:57,880 --> 01:25:00,479
Speaker 1: I'm really glad that I did it, because it's the struggle,

1490
01:25:00,560 --> 01:25:05,120
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah, And I think, gosh, just what what

1491
01:25:05,200 --> 01:25:07,800
Speaker 1: a beautifully empathetic person you are that you're thinking about

1492
01:25:07,800 --> 01:25:11,360
Speaker 1: how she'll eventually feel about the way you speak about

1493
01:25:11,400 --> 01:25:14,920
Speaker 1: her journey. And I'd also like to say, as an

1494
01:25:14,960 --> 01:25:17,479
Speaker 1: as an admirer and someone who's learned so much from

1495
01:25:17,479 --> 01:25:21,960
Speaker 1: this conversation, it is also your story. It's your story together,

1496
01:25:22,800 --> 01:25:26,120
Speaker 1: and you being willing to share it, and the way

1497
01:25:26,160 --> 01:25:31,880
Speaker 1: that you advocate, in the way that you offer incredible

1498
01:25:32,040 --> 01:25:35,479
Speaker 1: concrete advice as well as these really vulnerable perspectives on

1499
01:25:35,520 --> 01:25:39,240
Speaker 1: the experience, I do not doubt is going to help

1500
01:25:39,320 --> 01:25:42,439
Speaker 1: so many people. So thank you for being willing to

1501
01:25:42,479 --> 01:25:45,360
Speaker 1: come in here and do this with me on Wednesday

1502
01:25:45,439 --> 01:25:47,160
Speaker 1: night and now I'm going to be like in a

1503
01:25:47,240 --> 01:25:52,840
Speaker 1: puddle on the floor, right, same girl, cry all the time.

1504
01:25:53,439 --> 01:26:00,200
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. This show is executive produced am

1505
01:26:00,479 --> 01:26:05,400
Speaker 1: Sophia Bush and sim Sarna. Our supervising producer is Alison Bresnick.

1506
01:26:05,720 --> 01:26:09,439
Speaker 1: Our associate producer is Kate Linley. Our editor is Josh

1507
01:26:09,479 --> 01:26:12,400
Speaker 1: Wendish and our music was written by Jack Garrett and

1508
01:26:12,439 --> 01:26:15,280
Speaker 1: produced by Mark Foster. This show is brought to you

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01:26:15,320 --> 01:26:16,960
Speaker 1: by Clearlion Anatomy