Speaker 1: The Nikki Glazer Podcast. Glaser, Hello here, I am welcome
Speaker 1: to the show. It's Sticky Glazer Podcast. Here in amazing.
Speaker 1: What is that? What? What? What is? You're already shaking
Speaker 1: your head. Did I did I just appoint you with somebody? No?
Speaker 2: And no, it's just about you know, life is key
Speaker 2: is rolling along.
Speaker 1: Doesn't it just game going? It just never ends the
Speaker 1: holidays are over, you know.
Speaker 2: For Christians, it's like you have that like it's gonna
Speaker 2: be like the Golden Globes. The Golden Globes are January fifth,
Speaker 2: and your entire life for the last month is the
Speaker 2: Golden Globes. Then on January fifth, the Golden Globes are
Speaker 2: going to happen, and then the next day you're gonna
Speaker 2: wake up and your life is just going to continue on.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, the next day I have to do Stern
Speaker 1: and then the next day after that I go to
Speaker 1: Hawaiian and then the next day then I have to
Speaker 1: come back for the Critics' Choice Awards, and then and
Speaker 1: then there I have a special to start preparing for it.
Speaker 1: Like it's just there's never going to be an end
Speaker 1: to working.
Speaker 2: Yep. And that's good.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's yeah. That's good.
Speaker 2: I guess yeah, I think I'm I think I'm having
Speaker 2: a existential crisis with the repetitive nature of the intro
Speaker 2: to this podcast.
Speaker 1: Every time you do it, I go like, a right, right, right, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: it just keeps going.
Speaker 2: Actually keep it.
Speaker 1: You need sleep every day. You need to eat every day,
Speaker 1: like you're never like some people are bothered by eating.
Speaker 1: I remember like someone was like, I hate that I
Speaker 1: have to eat, Like it's like I think it was.
Speaker 1: I think Andrew Schultz one night at the cellar was like,
Speaker 1: I don't really like to eat. It like interferes with
Speaker 1: my productivity, Like I have to remember to eat. I'm like, whoa, wild,
Speaker 1: It's the only good part of my Life's amazing. I
Speaker 1: feel that it gets in the way.
Speaker 2: I feel that way about showering. I every if I
Speaker 2: don't shower in the morning and I have to shower
Speaker 2: at night, and I'm like, it's just like weighing on
Speaker 2: me and it takes like twenty five minutes me.
Speaker 1: About Sorry, we have to blow dryer hair, Yeah that
Speaker 1: is all or you just look gross.
Speaker 2: Yeah I blow dry my hair too, but I've been
Speaker 2: doing this thing lately. I don't know if women are
Speaker 2: onto this, but I'm sure you, uh, you don't blow
Speaker 2: dry and then you just have wet hair for a
Speaker 2: while and then like maybe an hour later you blow
Speaker 2: dry and takes like two seconds.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but its yeah, but it can it can take
Speaker 1: a shape when it's longer. Ya, that's harder to get out, yeah,
Speaker 1: with the blow dry, But it really does make all
Speaker 1: the difference to blow dry your hair. Like I find
Speaker 1: as a woman, like if I just let air dry,
Speaker 1: which I do, I would say eighty percent of the time,
Speaker 1: it like you just have to wash it the next
Speaker 1: day sooner because it gets scraggly and like it just
Speaker 1: looks like shit and it's like thin frizzy. Like even
Speaker 1: I got a fucking ad yesterday on my Instagram that
Speaker 1: was like, do you have curly kind of frizzy hair
Speaker 1: that when you air dry it it looks like shit?
Speaker 2: How do you know?
Speaker 1: Like I don't even post pictures of myself when it
Speaker 1: looks like that that that often, but it like new
Speaker 1: it is like does it get tangled on the bottoms
Speaker 1: and then you can't get the hair tie out because
Speaker 1: it's tangled around And it was like it was so
Speaker 1: targeted just based on some of the pictures, it's like
Speaker 1: scammed about me.
Speaker 2: Well wait till ads get a real handle on AI,
Speaker 2: because then the ads will be like, hey, NICKI, I've
Speaker 2: noticed that your hair has been tangled lately in your pictures,
Speaker 2: and we have this product that actually would fix that
Speaker 2: exact thing. And I'll be like and it'll be like
Speaker 2: Taylor Swift's voice.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll talk back to it too and be like, oh,
Speaker 3: thank you so much for letting me know no one
Speaker 3: else is paying attention to me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel so alone. And there'll be a bunch
Speaker 2: of comments on the ad like Nicky should really get this,
Speaker 2: and then your fail will be making their own comments
Speaker 2: and your phone will dry your hair for you people.
Speaker 1: I was thinking yesterday I got a DM from TMZ,
Speaker 1: like this girl that works at TMZ that's always just
Speaker 1: sent me like nice thing, Like she's just like, hey,
Speaker 1: you want to comment on this or like whatever. TMZ
Speaker 1: is like they're nice people, and a lot of them
Speaker 1: are like comics and stuff that you like wait outside,
Speaker 1: So I'm always just like nice to them if they
Speaker 1: ever want to, Like, they're always asking me inflammatory things.
Speaker 1: I think in New York they asked me about Luigi
Speaker 1: and I was like, I don't want to talk about
Speaker 1: that guy. Like I was just like I'm going to
Speaker 1: say something that's gonna be weird. I was just like, no,
Speaker 1: like why am I no commenting about Luigi? It made
Speaker 1: me feel like I had like I fucked him or something,
Speaker 1: you know, like no comment about But I was just like,
Speaker 1: it's my dog's name that disappoints me, you know, like
Speaker 1: my dog used to be the hottest Luigi or whatever.
Speaker 1: I said something, and but then yesterday I get a
Speaker 1: DM that was like, hey, there, we just got a
Speaker 1: tip about you, and we're wondering if you would want
Speaker 1: to comment before we run it, and that I'm not
Speaker 1: kidding you.
Speaker 2: Like I almost had a heart attack.
Speaker 1: I was. I was down in like the lot, like
Speaker 1: working on the script. I was like about to go
Speaker 1: into a writer's meeting upstairs, and I was getting the
Speaker 1: script ready, and then I'm like I truly felt what
Speaker 1: maybe might feel like a panic attack because I and
Speaker 1: then I'm texting Emily showing her. I texted Chris and
Speaker 1: they're like, call this number if you want to like
Speaker 1: talk to us about it before we run it. So
Speaker 1: I sent it to Chris and Chris is like, I'll call.
Speaker 1: So he calls the number and I'm just like, but
Speaker 1: he's up in the apartment. I'm downstairs. I'm like waiting
Speaker 1: for the bubbles to come up and like show me
Speaker 1: what is it. And he's like, they're calling me back.
Speaker 1: I got sent to a different guy. I'm like, oh God.
Speaker 1: And then they finally call back and it's it's about
Speaker 1: a show that taped. They were like, we got a
Speaker 1: hot tip that Nikki talked a lot of shit about
Speaker 1: this celebrity at this show taping and I wasn't on
Speaker 1: the show taping and I didn't talk shit about that person,
Speaker 1: and no one even did on the show. And it
Speaker 1: was a total It was literally the most nothing. I
Speaker 1: hate when people say nothing Burger, but like this is, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was. It was truly nothing. My heart great. I
Speaker 1: just was like I was so I was so calm immediately,
Speaker 1: but I wrote to Chris. I was like, that was
Speaker 1: not worth what I just went through, Like I just
Speaker 1: got a cardio exercise, but like I just aged like
Speaker 1: that was so stressful, thinking that like I was gonna
Speaker 1: have to like put out some statement or like really
Speaker 1: ultimately it was about like someone might be mad at me,
Speaker 1: or someone might that I'm performing for at the Golden
Speaker 1: Globes might have heard that I said something about a
Speaker 1: dress they wore once or whatever. The even no jokes
Speaker 1: I could stand by because I'd just be like, they're jokes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But if it was like something I had told a
Speaker 1: friend backstage about some celebrity that was rude to me,
Speaker 1: and like cause I talked shit about celebrities that are
Speaker 1: pieces of shit. But I'm not famous enough to like
Speaker 1: be out with that. I will someday, And I think
Speaker 1: that's relatable, Like.
Speaker 2: But I always do that. It is relatable. Like if
Speaker 2: you go and you fly and you're going over customs,
Speaker 2: you always think you might have drugs in your bag
Speaker 2: or you think, oh yeah, like of like the most
Speaker 2: negative like I must have I must be doing something wrong.
Speaker 2: I've done that all the time. And I haven't done cocaine.
Speaker 2: And when I quit twenty years and I'm like, I
Speaker 2: have so much coke in my bag. But if you're
Speaker 2: going to like Singapore or something and you had just
Speaker 2: like some.
Speaker 1: Like a scumambient on your coaster, yeah you get your decapitad. No.
Speaker 1: I was just terrified. I was just like that was
Speaker 1: really unnecessary to put my nervous system through, Like, yes,
Speaker 1: really shook it up. I felt it, the facts of
Speaker 1: it all day long, and it was just five minutes
Speaker 1: like really like oh my god. And you know, it's
Speaker 1: like anything if you lose your purse, if you're like
Speaker 1: kid you kind of struck them at the mall for
Speaker 1: thirty seconds or whatever, Like it was just that kind
Speaker 1: of thing of like everything's about to be taken from you.
Speaker 1: But also I was kind of like, okay, fine take it,
Speaker 1: like I'll just I'll be okay.
Speaker 2: I was like TMZ, now I need an e m
Speaker 2: T which is Trevor Wallace style joke. Oh yeah, listening,
Speaker 2: I just wrote a good Yeah, that's a good joke.
Speaker 1: Yeah that is a good yeah. And then I'm gonna
Speaker 1: and then I'll have to do that d MT to
Speaker 1: get my life.
Speaker 2: Back, and I'm gonna have to go to the DMV
Speaker 2: and get a new license because I just lost it.
Speaker 1: And then I'll be straddling my lives, of my my
Speaker 1: sides of my world like I'm on the DMZ.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: And then I like yeah, like you like if you can't,
Speaker 1: you can put your foot over it, I think. And
Speaker 1: then I've looked over it. I think.
Speaker 2: So you've been to in Korea.
Speaker 1: Korea, Yeah, I went, yeah, yeah, but I looked into
Speaker 1: North but it was still like two thousand and eight.
Speaker 1: We were performing for the American troops that were stationed over.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it wasn't us. It was called Tessa's Funny
Speaker 1: Ladies or something.
Speaker 2: Wow, that's a lot more official soundings. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: I bombed so bad, Like, yeah, I bombed the troops heavily.
Speaker 1: It was. It was so because I had to follow
Speaker 1: the first show. I followed April Macy because I had
Speaker 1: like recently gotten it was two thousand nine, summer of
Speaker 1: two thousand and nine, had gotten a Tonight Show credit.
Speaker 1: So like I guess they were, you know, the woman
Speaker 1: organizing the show was like, Nikki should close, she has
Speaker 1: a Tonight Show credit, and April had been doing it
Speaker 1: a little bit longer than me. April's just like a
Speaker 1: fucking it's a different closer, like she's I wouldn't want
Speaker 1: to follow her now, like I just it's she's just
Speaker 1: so good. So April Macy and she had just done
Speaker 1: the last comic standing, but they put me after her
Speaker 1: on the first show. They switched that real quick. I
Speaker 1: bombed rs than I've ever bombed, Like I couldn't.
Speaker 2: We got to.
Speaker 1: He's pointing out my set to his daughter on that
Speaker 1: little tour. We yeah, we, but then we had to
Speaker 1: do a meet and greet afterwards. Like if I bomb,
Speaker 1: I don't want to see anyone, like I always, I
Speaker 1: don't want to see anyone, even if I kill after
Speaker 1: the show, I'm always like scared one person is going
Speaker 1: to be like ruin the moment. I didn't like it,
Speaker 1: and they have to pretend because their husband wants to
Speaker 1: meet me, and like it happens. I see it happen.
Speaker 1: They're never really blatantly rude about it. But I see
Speaker 1: when people don't want to meet me where they go.
Speaker 1: I'm good, I don't need a picture. And it's not
Speaker 1: even about like I don't like pictures. I don't you know.
Speaker 1: It's like, literally, I don't like you, and I'm trying
Speaker 1: to let you know that kind of thing.
Speaker 2: That's terrible, But this it was.
Speaker 1: I cried in the bathroom after and then they switched
Speaker 1: it so I went before her and I ended up
Speaker 1: having a better time. But that trip was really fun
Speaker 1: and Soul is so clean. Yeah, no, trash cans anywhere and.
Speaker 2: Thread in Southeast Asia. Of all of those, it can
Speaker 2: be done in Singapore. Yeah, it can not have trash.
Speaker 2: The heavy penalty, Well, there's two things. I think this
Speaker 2: is my one is heavy penalty is for littering. So
Speaker 2: if you in Singapore, if you put trash on the ground,
Speaker 2: the cut off your hands. Literally, no, not literally, but
Speaker 2: figure take the hands and figuratively no, it's pretty hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no trash with so many hands.
Speaker 2: And then second, it's just cultural. It's there's a thing
Speaker 2: that they have in Southeast Asia. It's close to respect.
Speaker 2: There's a thing they have in Southeast Asia that we've
Speaker 2: totally lost in America, and it's called shame. And if
Speaker 2: you litter, you might be culturally shamed for doing that,
Speaker 2: where in America no one has any shame anymore. And
Speaker 2: it's I am filled with it.
Speaker 1: If I if there was a wrapper that fell out
Speaker 1: of my pocket and someone saw it fall out and
Speaker 1: I didn't get it, I would then and if I
Speaker 1: like found later like oh my god, it's all out
Speaker 1: of my pocket, someone might have seen that and thought
Speaker 1: I did that on purpose. Deep shame for a person
Speaker 1: that I don't even know.
Speaker 2: Then you should feel shame.
Speaker 1: If you litter. If people who if you are someone
Speaker 1: who listens to this podcast and you were someone who
Speaker 1: puts their fucking cup outside of your car, you clean
Speaker 1: your car out on the parking lot, and you think
Speaker 1: putting your cup and everything sitting upright isn't litter and
Speaker 1: you just sit there on the yellow line in between
Speaker 1: the cars. Stop listening to this podcast. I don't want
Speaker 1: I do not want you to listen to this. I
Speaker 1: don't I think you're a bad person. I think you
Speaker 1: don't think about anyone but yourself. Someone has to fucking
Speaker 1: pick that up and also or.
Speaker 2: Not or it just blows around forever.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I know, like the like it's gonna end
Speaker 1: up in a landfill anyway. Well, let's just buy the
Speaker 1: time until the landfills start creeping into society. Can we
Speaker 1: just keep it a little tidy?
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And also, if you're in a bathroom, and I've said
Speaker 1: this before, and this is something that I have stuck
Speaker 1: to since I realized it one day. I have never
Speaker 1: once literally in the past I would say ten years,
Speaker 1: and this is pretty impressive. Never once have I been
Speaker 1: in the bathroom and you know, pull the toilet paper,
Speaker 1: which have to do every single time you have to
Speaker 1: utilize toilet paper, and you sometimes get the strands, which
Speaker 1: I always think the Ellen degenerous joke where she's like,
Speaker 1: this isn't a time to be celebrating, Like it looks
Speaker 1: like party.
Speaker 2: Like she's like, this is.
Speaker 1: No time to be celebrating. I always say that. But
Speaker 1: if a little piece of toilet paper falls onto the
Speaker 1: floor from me pulling it out, any any piece of anything,
Speaker 1: I will always pick it up. Never once have I
Speaker 1: been like, it's already a shitty bathroom, it's all over,
Speaker 1: not if it's in a urin like a ten years
Speaker 1: running ten years. And if I go to if I
Speaker 1: wash my hands and I use a paper towel and
Speaker 1: it misses the bin and it falls on the floor.
Speaker 1: And I used to be someone who was just like,
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of paper towels on the floor anyway,
Speaker 1: who gives a shit? I have never once in ten
Speaker 1: years since I said, Nikki, if you ever do this again,
Speaker 1: your career will not go the way you wanted to.
Speaker 1: I made one of those fucking OCD things. Yeah, but
Speaker 1: it really wasn't about that. It was like that was
Speaker 1: to get me to do it. But it's really about
Speaker 1: I realized someone has to bend down and pick that up.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I know.
Speaker 1: It's like they're already down there and there's one more thing.
Speaker 1: It's still one more little lean.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And why am I good doing that to that woman's
Speaker 1: back who's cleaning up this bathroom? Why is that her
Speaker 1: job to clean up my fucking mess? Her job is
Speaker 1: empty the bins. Her job isn't to pick up my
Speaker 1: slot because I can't get it in the hole. Yeah,
Speaker 1: because I'm like, it's gross. I don't want to touch
Speaker 1: the bathroom floor. Neither does she, bitch, like clean up.
Speaker 1: Stop leaving paper towels everywhere in these bathrooms. Stop leaving
Speaker 1: your piss al over the toilet seat, Stop leaving little
Speaker 1: credit pieces. If you don't want to touch the ground
Speaker 1: to pick up a tweet of toiletper get more toilet
Speaker 1: paper and pick it up with it like you're picking
Speaker 1: up dog shit. There's a way to do it sanitarily.
Speaker 1: Just start being and for men nicer. Stop spitting your
Speaker 1: gum in the urinal. That's maybe one of the worst things.
Speaker 2: Look at any look at any urinal. Go to a
Speaker 2: football stadium and look at a urinal and men will
Speaker 2: spit gum in the urinal, and that I've heard from
Speaker 2: people on interviews or something when they interview the cleaning people. Sure, yeah,
Speaker 2: post yeah, they say that the worst possible thing is
Speaker 2: when someone spits gum in the urinal because it's like
Speaker 2: impossible to get out and it just ruins everything. If
Speaker 2: it gets into the drain, forget about it, then they
Speaker 2: have to replace the entire urine.
Speaker 1: I think gum is probably a scourge on this planet.
Speaker 2: Gum.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's just like you know, it's all over
Speaker 1: the sidewalks. It just like creates this little black mass cigarettes.
Speaker 1: It's like at least you can pick them up. Gum.
Speaker 1: It's just like you just keep it there until it
Speaker 1: wears away, and.
Speaker 2: It's just like you gets stuck on your shoe. It's
Speaker 2: that's like one of the worst things that can happen
Speaker 2: to a human being.
Speaker 1: It's just it's so bad. I quit. I quit chewing gum.
Speaker 2: Just just you suck, just your cough trot.
Speaker 1: But it's really it's good for people who are trying
Speaker 1: to avoid eating. People love gut, Like I used to
Speaker 1: eat gum, try to like to instead of Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I was addicted to it and I quit I think
Speaker 1: five years ago. And it the one thing about quitting gum.
Speaker 1: First of all, it's like you just have to learn
Speaker 1: to just figure something out to do with your body
Speaker 1: when you're not chewing gum all the time, because some
Speaker 1: people are are addicted to gum.
Speaker 2: For sure.
Speaker 1: It's like a cigarette, you know, it's like, yeah, the
Speaker 1: meal's over, I'm putting in gum.
Speaker 2: It's like resetting better than a cigarette.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Again, that's what when science needs to do. You need
Speaker 2: to invent gum that you can chew and then when
Speaker 2: it's done, you can just eat it. You can swallow it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: people people do.
Speaker 1: People do do that. But also you would just like
Speaker 1: it would have to change, like.
Speaker 2: The way that gum you just want to swallow it.
Speaker 2: If there's got to be a switch, you can pray
Speaker 2: you what you can do? You can it comes a
Speaker 2: little powder packet and you undo the powder packet and
Speaker 2: then you drink.
Speaker 1: Think is anything worse than undoing a powder packet? But
Speaker 1: like when you jump those in your waters, like it
Speaker 1: gets everywhere you look, there's coke.
Speaker 2: On the table.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we gotta go to break we have so much.
Speaker 2: We're back so it's the new year, and you know,
Speaker 2: we did this last year, and I think we should
Speaker 2: do it again. What are the things not not resolutions
Speaker 2: per se? But last time we did? What are the
Speaker 2: things we want to not do? That way, you can't
Speaker 2: fail unless you do it. Well, yeah, that's they're like
Speaker 2: the reverse resolutions we talked about. Remember this reverse resolutions
Speaker 2: from last year? I don't remember now, Yeah, I barely
Speaker 2: remember it. Can't even articulate it. Yeah, but it was like,
Speaker 2: here are the thing, here are five things I will
Speaker 2: not do in the year twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: Oh interesting, Okay, I like this.
Speaker 2: And like, obviously like smoking cigarettes or something's impossible, but
Speaker 2: like you can say, like I am definitely not going
Speaker 2: to binge watch an entire season of a show in
Speaker 2: one day, Okay, something like that, it's easier to accomplish.
Speaker 1: Okay, I think I've got one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, do you have one? No? Okay, I haven't thought
Speaker 2: about this at all.
Speaker 1: After the TMZ thing, I was like, you know, what
Speaker 1: would we make this? What would have made my heart
Speaker 1: not sink? And I've talked about this a million times.
Speaker 1: Gossip is just such a great way to connect if
Speaker 1: you don't have anything else to connect with someone over
Speaker 1: and you are lacking in creativity. If you're lacking in
Speaker 1: a real connection, it's like a fake connection based on
Speaker 1: needing to shit on someone else in it. Like and
Speaker 1: it also creates the I know, people who I talk
Speaker 1: shit with talk shit about me. There's no question in
Speaker 1: my mind it makes me feel a little unsafe to
Speaker 1: ever be truly authentic with them, even though I'm not
Speaker 1: like very cognizant, Like I'm not like it's subconscious, but
Speaker 1: I just I would like to be a person that,
Speaker 1: you know, like my friend, like my friend Rick Lastman,
Speaker 1: if one time I tried to talk shit about someone
Speaker 1: we both mutually knew that was just like it was
Speaker 1: a friendly talking shit of like to do this, Yeah,
Speaker 1: boy that was rough or something like that. And he's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't I'm not gonna. I don't really, I don't
Speaker 1: want to. That's my friend, and I'm just like, what, like,
Speaker 1: i'd like to do be that person. I don't want
Speaker 1: to make people feel weird because about it, like you're
Speaker 1: a bad person, but like it's just just a way
Speaker 1: to do it and be like, well, I like that person.
Speaker 1: I don't want to.
Speaker 2: That's good because he's purely honest too, so if he
Speaker 2: was talking shit, it would we'd know it was like
Speaker 2: so true. Yeah, and so him having like policy of
Speaker 2: talking is very good.
Speaker 1: I utilized it the other day. Someone wanted to talk
Speaker 1: about someone doing bad poorly on something and or liked
Speaker 1: said that they weren't good or something, and I was
Speaker 1: just like, I actually loved that person, Like I just
Speaker 1: had to throw I didn't want to like make everyone
Speaker 1: feel weird, but I'm just like, no, I like I
Speaker 1: like them, like yeah they and or empathize like yeah,
Speaker 1: I've had a I've had I've bombed on something too,
Speaker 1: or I've really cringe on something. Just be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's happened to me too.
Speaker 2: That's that's easier to do, the more successful you get,
Speaker 2: because you have not they're not hurting you by being
Speaker 2: shitty at their thing. I have a lot of trouble
Speaker 2: not talking shit about other writers who are shit right,
Speaker 2: and I'm just like why, like just get out of here.
Speaker 2: I have as a one. I also have trouble with
Speaker 2: like lack of perfectionism. I'm a perfectionist, and when someone
Speaker 2: is unskilled at something and it's just wrong, I get
Speaker 2: I can't it hurts me in my being.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's the people I talked shit about, like
Speaker 2: I I and I'm bitter.
Speaker 1: But if you're willing to say that to those people faces,
Speaker 1: I have no problem with this difference.
Speaker 2: Well I would. I would be willing to do that
Speaker 2: if many of them didn't have power over me or
Speaker 2: something like me talking like talking shit about somebody like
Speaker 2: like that's powerful. Will only hurt me if if I
Speaker 2: said it to their face, whereas.
Speaker 1: Right, but then you're still not being authentic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and well that's why I have all these probably pains. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'm just filled with bitterness. But I was watching Timothy
Speaker 2: Shallomy this morning. It was part of it. There was
Speaker 2: a text chain that I don't know why you weren't
Speaker 2: included on it, but it was like everyone was on
Speaker 2: and except you. I guess we didn't want to bother
Speaker 2: you or something nice, but it was, but it was
Speaker 2: bother with it. So I think Bob maybe sent.
Speaker 1: Out because Tim Brian's been obsessed with Timothy shall since
Speaker 1: he saw him on Theovonn's podcast.
Speaker 2: Well, I was, I was on the edge. I was like,
Speaker 2: I think I loved this guy. And then I watched
Speaker 2: him on theov theovon was Yeah, I think that was
Speaker 2: the tipping point. That was because you put it.
Speaker 1: On the big screen just to like do the dishes
Speaker 1: and have it on the background and maybe listen to
Speaker 1: for like ten minutes. And he left on the whole
Speaker 1: thing and said he was completely charmed with Timothy Chalmy.
Speaker 1: He ran a huge campaign during one of our writer's
Speaker 1: meetings like be on board with Timothy Shame. You're like,
Speaker 1: we are not as much as you. And then he
Speaker 1: knew he knows everything about him and he's not wrong.
Speaker 1: Timothy shal May is awesome.
Speaker 2: No, Timothy Shallam is amazing. I think my favorite performance
Speaker 2: of Timothy shallow May is the press tour he's doing
Speaker 2: for Bob Dylan, because every single thing is must watch
Speaker 2: as hell. Yeah, I love him. Yeah. So he was
Speaker 2: on Nard War this morning, and Ard War is.
Speaker 1: This like kind of kooky guy that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's always Nard War versus because the interviews can
Speaker 2: be a little bit antagonistic because he asks really invasive
Speaker 2: questions that you don't even remember about yourself, like where
Speaker 2: did you grow Like like your third grade teacher said
Speaker 2: this about you? Somehow. He investigated journalism and figures out
Speaker 2: these things about your past that you have no idea,
Speaker 2: don't even remember whoa. And then he asks you things
Speaker 2: about the stuff you probably should know about, Like he
Speaker 2: asked him a lot of questions about Bob Dylan and
Speaker 2: Timothy s was on it. But Timothy was on Nardwar.
Speaker 2: This was being texted this morning, and he was unbelievable
Speaker 2: on it. And so one thing he did, this is
Speaker 2: why I brought this up. One thing he did on it.
Speaker 2: He didn't talk shit about anybody, obviously, but what he
Speaker 2: did do is he continuously, throughout the interview gave shout
Speaker 2: outs to people that he admired or respected. So all
Speaker 2: he does is do shout outs. One time he it
Speaker 2: was even gotten to be like a joke. One time
Speaker 2: Nardwar was like, hey, you your your grandma grew up
Speaker 2: in Canada, and Timothy Shalmy goes, yes, she did shout
Speaker 2: out Canada, shout out North America.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm sorry, it's it was a joke.
Speaker 2: It was, yeah, it was joking, shout out in North America.
Speaker 2: But no, most most of the time he's like Johnny,
Speaker 2: Like when he's talking about how Johnny Cash was played
Speaker 2: by a different guy in the Bob Dylan movie, he
Speaker 2: makes sure to say and all the respect to Joaquin Phoenix.
Speaker 2: He was amazing in his yeah and shout out, and
Speaker 2: so he just kind of like always pays homage, and
Speaker 2: he does it, I think because he actually is very
Speaker 2: self conscious about being judged about being a bad personah
Speaker 2: about not respecting. And I think this might be true
Speaker 2: of gen Z overall, is they are very aware that
Speaker 2: shit will be talked about them on the internet if
Speaker 2: they're mean, if they say something wrong.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there was a video that Emily I wanted her
Speaker 1: to edit of my mom and I both dressed for
Speaker 1: the last Eras tour in the Taylor Swift Tortured Poets
Speaker 1: like Military Jacket, which is the scene where she is
Speaker 1: marching to the Smallest Man who Ever Lived Bridge is
Speaker 1: my favorite part of the show. And so before the show,
Speaker 1: I asked my mom to, like, let's do this thing
Speaker 1: where we marched on the hallway and like you lip
Speaker 1: saying it, So I'm like teaching her how to lipstick it.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, oh, well, like marry the two of
Speaker 1: us marching. It'll be kind of a fun TikTok, And
Speaker 1: I sent Emily the footage and I was like, actually,
Speaker 1: I think you should just like edit the Bluebirds because
Speaker 1: it's kind of funny. And so she put together this
Speaker 1: whole blooper reel of me like telling my mom how
Speaker 1: to do this and directing my mom, and there's not
Speaker 1: one point where I'm like, good job, because like I cut.
Speaker 1: Every time I cut, I would be like good okay,
Speaker 1: like because I was like trying to keep the energy up.
Speaker 1: I was, but I just seem abusive the whole time
Speaker 1: because I'm now marked legs higher like like and I'm
Speaker 1: and I can't put it out because it's like the
Speaker 1: gen z will see this and be like your mean,
Speaker 1: like because there's no part where I'm like good job,
Speaker 1: even though I did say that. Throughout it's like and
Speaker 1: it is so funny because there's so many moments they're funny,
Speaker 1: but I literally can't release it because I'm like, I
Speaker 1: just they'll get the wrong idea about who I am
Speaker 1: and like because I'm like, no, look a little bit
Speaker 1: more sad, no mom, like like like there's like a
Speaker 1: little bit of like a brattiness in my voice at
Speaker 1: some points, but yeah, I.
Speaker 2: Praise just constant, like do it this way.
Speaker 1: Do it this way way, but I cut I like,
Speaker 1: next time, I know, like just put that in, like
Speaker 1: leave it in. I was just trying to make editing
Speaker 1: easier for her, but I'm like, next time add in.
Speaker 1: Don't do it, man, you don't, don't do it just insincerely,
Speaker 1: but like leave it in because otherwise you can't use it.
Speaker 1: Because gen Z is very fine, like they're intelligious.
Speaker 2: Acts probably make the next tailor swift right now, what
Speaker 2: do you mean? Oh yeah, like that's how you make
Speaker 2: it tailor swift.
Speaker 1: No tailor swits did not get made by her parents,
Speaker 1: yeah at all?
Speaker 2: But who was it her? She abused herself?
Speaker 1: Yeah, she bullies herself because she puts her weight. What's
Speaker 1: the eminem line? I bully myself because it make me
Speaker 1: do what I put my mind to A million leads
Speaker 1: above you ill, when I speak in tongues, I'm almost memorized.
Speaker 2: Rap God, Rap God? Are you gonna? When are you
Speaker 2: going to debut? Rap God? I bet you shallow me.
Speaker 1: You don't even understand how hard Like when I started
Speaker 1: this journey to memorize rap God, the first couple of days,
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm never gonna It's literally impossible, Like
Speaker 1: it found kind of like Dancing with the Stars, where
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't do that dance, Like there's no
Speaker 1: fucking way even though it's like not that, but Rap
Speaker 1: God truly is so fast, so hard, and I'm like
Speaker 1: eighty percent of the way there. Chris walks in all
Speaker 1: the time on me practicing, which is kind of embarrassing
Speaker 1: because he's like, shouldn't you be practicing the globes? But
Speaker 1: I feel like it's helping me to practice same words
Speaker 1: fast activity.
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, you are like nailing these are all
Speaker 2: new jokes that you're and you are nailing the lines.
Speaker 1: And it helps me memorize and get cadence down and
Speaker 1: like rhythm like it's and it's just like a different
Speaker 1: it's just switching up something like I got to mix
Speaker 1: up my goals.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it's that's probably good for your mental acuity
Speaker 2: as you age. Yeah, you were speaking rap God. How
Speaker 2: long do you think it would be?
Speaker 3: Rap God is like if you're just talking just talking
Speaker 3: rap over an hour?
Speaker 1: No? No, no, no, it's I would say I would
Speaker 1: say it's probably twenty five minutes.
Speaker 2: Twenty five minutes. Wow, Yeah, yeah, I would say it's
Speaker 2: even longer. I mean it's so many fucking words.
Speaker 1: It's so many it is so many words. I think
Speaker 1: it's the song is like six minutes long, six minutes,
Speaker 1: six minutes. Yeah, that's the topic.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's six minutes song.
Speaker 1: If you haven't heard rap God, someone go, you gotta
Speaker 1: go listen to it because it's just just know that
Speaker 1: I've almost memorized it all. I can do each part,
Speaker 1: but I can't do like, there's one part that I'm
Speaker 1: little star and it's not the part you think I've got. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been doing it in the shower a lot. Like
Speaker 1: once you start listening to it enough, it like gets
Speaker 1: into your brain. But I'm I think i'll debut it.
Speaker 1: I'll probably put it on TikTok at some point. But
Speaker 1: it does say the F word a lot, other F word.
Speaker 2: This is amazing progress. I remember a few years ago
Speaker 2: you were talking about having trouble memorizing the Star Spangled Banner.
Speaker 1: Yeah that was hard, Yeah, yeah, yeah, because that there's
Speaker 1: a lot of pressure on that. This one's this is
Speaker 1: the new Star Spangled Banner.
Speaker 2: Bright the way at the end of every year you
Speaker 2: memorize a new song.
Speaker 1: But back to like jet like being worried about like
Speaker 1: people thinking you're nice like that is that that is
Speaker 1: interesting that gen Z is like aware or like the
Speaker 1: famous people coming up are aware of that. Not reading
Speaker 1: the comments really freese me. But it's kind of it
Speaker 1: kind of does make you. Yeah, you know, it's like
Speaker 1: I don't get to see any of the good stuff.
Speaker 1: I don't get to.
Speaker 2: Interact with people hearing the good stuff.
Speaker 1: You know, yes, you know it's nice. It was like
Speaker 1: Emily writes me, like j Loo said the slighs or whatever,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 2: Like a lot like famous people commented on the Empire
Speaker 2: State building.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think Demiley told me about a couple
Speaker 1: of them. I don't think. I can't remember.
Speaker 2: Though.
Speaker 1: It doesn't land. I don't think it really lands.
Speaker 2: Well I did. I shared a link to everyone except you.
Speaker 2: This is a very common thing.
Speaker 1: Now because we that's okay, you don't want to bother me.
Speaker 2: But well, this wasn't I don't want to bother you.
Speaker 2: This was I know that you don't like reading comments,
Speaker 2: so I'm not going to share it with you. Oh okay.
Speaker 2: But I shared it with Chris and Bob and Ian
Speaker 2: and Sean, and I was like somebody random on YouTube
Speaker 2: posted your Thursday Night football from last week. It got
Speaker 2: one hundred and forty thousand views. This is like a
Speaker 2: random YouTube channel with eight thousand subscribers, so it's not
Speaker 2: like a big deal. And all of the comments are
Speaker 2: so positive. Really, everyone's like someone said, I don't watch
Speaker 2: the game. I only watched Nikki.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's so nice.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was just everyone was so overwhelmingly positive.
Speaker 2: I was like, this is so nice.
Speaker 1: I hope we get to do it again. Like they
Speaker 1: were really fun, Like that was this is the kind
Speaker 1: of thing that I'm like, I just I just, you know,
Speaker 1: I hope there's time in my schedule do that in
Speaker 1: the fall. I think there were I'll be gearing up
Speaker 1: to tape something in the fall, I think. So it'll
Speaker 1: be tough, but like they're not. The beauty is we
Speaker 1: don't have to write until we get like we have
Speaker 1: to write a little bit until we get Monday.
Speaker 2: Well you just kind of send out an assignment on Monday. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Wednesday night the night before, and then Thursday.
Speaker 1: It's like memorizing wrap. God, it takes you out of
Speaker 1: whatever you're doing. It's just like a one night thing
Speaker 1: that takes you out of it and then you get
Speaker 1: back to what you have to do. It's like a
Speaker 1: different It's yeah, it's it's.
Speaker 2: A well oiled machine at this point.
Speaker 1: It's great.
Speaker 2: Do you rather have known about the globes?
Speaker 1: Like less time?
Speaker 2: Less time? It didn't affect me too much time.
Speaker 1: I think no, because I didn't start working on it until,
Speaker 1: like until Chris was done with the two projects he
Speaker 1: was working on, because he was really going to run it,
Speaker 1: and I know that he would never let me not
Speaker 1: start early enough, and so like I just went by,
Speaker 1: like when Chris was like it's time to go, and yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like there's just no I feel like in
Speaker 1: really good shape for it right now, and like I don't.
Speaker 1: There's not a part of me that's like we need
Speaker 1: one more week. Like I think there's been there. There's
Speaker 1: been that for me in specials where I'm like, God,
Speaker 1: one more week. I could just fine tune some stuff,
Speaker 1: and then I just asked for another week. And it's
Speaker 1: always one more week for a special because it feels
Speaker 1: like it's just an hour of material. The Golden Lilbes
Speaker 1: is like ten minutes. So it feels like I'm okay
Speaker 1: with being like this, this is what it is, and
Speaker 1: I shouldn't have done more and I couldn't have done more.
Speaker 1: And also the nominees didn't come out until the ninth
Speaker 1: I think, yeah later, Yeah, no, it was the ninth.
Speaker 1: It was the day after the last RAS and then.
Speaker 2: That's how I know. Uh, this was actually four hundred
Speaker 2: and seventy eight days after the last errors.
Speaker 1: Yeah uh. And also yeah, it's like I just feel
Speaker 1: like you just don't what was the other thing I
Speaker 1: was gonna say about taking Oh, and I think about
Speaker 1: like I remember, I've sure it's been said a million
Speaker 1: times about SNL, but Bo and Yang was saying about
Speaker 1: SNL that like the most frustrating part is like you
Speaker 1: you can't perfect it. Like you write these sketches on
Speaker 1: a Wednesday night and you run them on Saturday, and like,
Speaker 1: oh man, if you had another two weeks to rewrite
Speaker 1: and punch up and to think different things about what production,
Speaker 1: more time to produce it and put it on camera,
Speaker 1: what could it be? But you just don't get that.
Speaker 1: That's what it is, and that's what this is. Like,
Speaker 1: you don't get that like this.
Speaker 2: Is I don't think we would have benefited from an
Speaker 2: extra week. I think we maybe would have suffered from
Speaker 2: an extra week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean you can. I do that every
Speaker 1: every time I have too much time to do my makeup.
Speaker 1: It starts to looking it goes from looking perfect disgusting,
Speaker 1: like it can ruin makeup just by like one more
Speaker 1: little thing, let me just say, and then it's.
Speaker 2: Oh God for life too.
Speaker 1: Yeah. So it's like I think it's a perfect amount
Speaker 1: of time because I'm getting to the point where I'm like,
Speaker 1: we're starting to take out jokes from the practice because
Speaker 1: I'm tired of saying them, and it's like they're diminishing returns.
Speaker 1: And the best thing is is like we had an
Speaker 1: I thought, like you know, based on you know, on
Speaker 1: and Matt's reaction on the road, like three weeks ago,
Speaker 1: like an A plus set, like, oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is going to kill. We've beat all of those jokes,
Speaker 1: pretty much, all of them. All the jokes that were
Speaker 1: like our A plus of our original and maybe second
Speaker 1: and third fourth drafts, yeah, are now like R d's
Speaker 1: because the rest has it's on a curve, it's great.
Speaker 2: I don't think if it's on a curve it's a D.
Speaker 2: I don't think we have lower than a B. Plus.
Speaker 1: I agree, there's maybe one or two B plus jokes
Speaker 1: in the rest of a's and then one or two
Speaker 1: A pluses, which is like what you want, you can't
Speaker 1: have all A plus.
Speaker 2: The scary thing about the monologue for the globes is,
Speaker 2: unlike the roast, where you have a better picture, you
Speaker 2: don't really know how the audience is going to respond
Speaker 2: in the room. And so no matter how good we
Speaker 2: do in these.
Speaker 1: Well that's why I'm going Jets game the first TNF
Speaker 1: where they were screaming at me, Oh yeah, you want
Speaker 1: to see I think it's somewhere online. It's me at
Speaker 1: the first game is the Jets and.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, Eagles the Jets one. Yeah, that's why it
Speaker 2: was such a big deal. We were in New York.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was Jets and Patriots. Patriots, yeah, and the
Speaker 1: Jets one. And I had to do my first Thursday
Speaker 1: night football like roast, and the crowd was screaming, not
Speaker 1: listening to me at all, like literally ten feet away.
Speaker 2: From me, chanting Jets, Jets, Jets because they.
Speaker 1: Wonts Gardner sauce like sauces behind either trying to get
Speaker 1: an autograph, not paying attention that there's a broadcast on the.
Speaker 2: Second time and someone's yell sauce that you.
Speaker 1: Do ye exactly when I was spilled a one all
Speaker 1: over me.
Speaker 2: No, it was.
Speaker 1: It was it was chaotic, and I just had to
Speaker 1: like look down the barrel of the thing and just
Speaker 1: deliver it. That's that's slightly different than the Globes. I
Speaker 1: think the Globes. The worst case scenario is I'll go
Speaker 1: back to Cabo when I the story I told her
Speaker 1: Jimmy Kettle where I bombed in front of billionaires. That's
Speaker 1: gonna be more the vibe because it was well lit.
Speaker 1: They felt uncomfortable to laugh in front of like people
Speaker 1: that they were like trying to be cool in front of.
Speaker 1: And it was Joe at their expense a kind of,
Speaker 1: and they were worried about each other. It was more
Speaker 1: that vibe, and that that is where I'll go to
Speaker 1: in my mind, because I just plowed through that like
Speaker 1: they didn't know.
Speaker 2: I knew I was being different from Cabo, though. These
Speaker 2: people at the Globes are going to be expecting a comedian, yeah,
Speaker 2: and they you know, and there's there's a precedent, especially
Speaker 2: you're not You're going you're not going to be as
Speaker 2: offensive as Ricky Gervais. So it's like, you know, I
Speaker 2: think that they'll be I think they'll be pretty pleased.
Speaker 2: It's just a matter of like are they listening? Are
Speaker 2: they talking to people at their tables? That's the tough part.
Speaker 1: I actually got a DM this morning from someone who's
Speaker 1: going to be at the Globes okay, and asked me,
Speaker 1: I can't probably say who it is because it would
Speaker 1: give away a presenter, even though I don't think, like,
Speaker 1: who really cares if I give away a persenter?
Speaker 2: But I can't Luigi, But it.
Speaker 1: Was it's I think the nicest person. I think it's
Speaker 1: probably one of the nicest celebrity reach outs I've ever
Speaker 1: had in my life of someone who is checking to
Speaker 1: set me their script that they're going to write for
Speaker 1: their to present, to run by to make sure it
Speaker 1: doesn't step over any of the jokes I'm doing, because
Speaker 1: if it does, they will just rewrite jokes.
Speaker 2: That's Is it a comedian or an actor comedy writer?
Speaker 1: Comedy actor comedy writer? That is amazing, Like the mention
Speaker 1: of all mentiones.
Speaker 2: Okay, now I know who it is.
Speaker 1: It's the Yeah, I mean it is a mention can
Speaker 1: be anyone, but it does. It's very fit. Yes, but
Speaker 1: I could call a boy a mens Yeah, so that's Williams.
Speaker 1: But it was so so nice. I read it to
Speaker 1: Chris this morning because it was like the first thing
Speaker 1: I saw when I woke up, and we were just
Speaker 1: like wow. He's like, can I just email you my jokes?
Speaker 1: I'm like yes, and also i'll rewrite mine. You are
Speaker 1: on the hierarchy, like but what a what a kind thing?
Speaker 1: And this person is like you would just you would
Speaker 1: already think that this person is as good as they are.
Speaker 1: So it's just.
Speaker 2: Malcolm.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's present.
Speaker 2: I mean I already know who it is.
Speaker 1: Wait, could go like that, see if you got it? Yeah,
Speaker 1: good job.
Speaker 2: Do you want me to tell you?
Speaker 1: Oh you did?
Speaker 2: Okay?
Speaker 1: Yeah I think I saw yeah, Yeah, it's it was
Speaker 1: such a nice thing though, and I really appreciate it.
Speaker 2: You think any part of it. He doesn't want you
Speaker 2: to step on his jokes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think that's a good both. But
Speaker 1: he literally negative write new jokes.
Speaker 2: Right well, I know, right well to be fair to.
Speaker 1: Im, Like I got a joke for you, oh ship,
Speaker 1: remember the joke that kind of we had referencing him defying.
Speaker 2: Yes, of course.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm like, I'm I might throw it to him,
Speaker 1: We're not you know, or maybe if I'm introing him,
Speaker 1: we might use it.
Speaker 2: Is it, Well, we'll talk about it after I think
Speaker 2: I remember it. Yeah. But for to support Colin's point here,
Speaker 2: like when you call me Golland, he is going after you, right,
Speaker 2: so any joke me, oh yeah, that person man or
Speaker 2: woman who may or may not be Jewish is going
Speaker 2: after you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's checking his jokes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so like if you are doing a joke that
Speaker 2: similar is it actually hurts him more than it hurts you.
Speaker 1: But also like he he could he could through the
Speaker 1: production he's dealing with, get it to me that I
Speaker 1: need to change my joke because he's yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: he he probably could do that, like he's more famous
Speaker 1: than I am, but it wouldn't seem.
Speaker 2: Like I mean, yeah, he's got so.
Speaker 1: The fact that he reached out, like yeah, it is
Speaker 1: checking his jokes, but like, yeah, it's not all just
Speaker 1: about me. But he literally goes all right, new ones.
Speaker 2: It was like that he sounds it sounds pure, sounds nice.
Speaker 1: Really, which I've never heard that you a million dollars.
Speaker 1: I was already following this perpose. It sucks so much
Speaker 1: with c M because they definitely see like it's his follow.
Speaker 2: It doesn't say follow, follow back, and then they were
Speaker 2: following you or they just start following you.
Speaker 1: I think they I don't know. I didn't check.
Speaker 2: Okay, I didn't check. I don't need to. It's petty bullshit.
Speaker 1: There's another thing that when I come across like comedians,
Speaker 1: like new comedians, who I'm like, this guy's really funny.
Speaker 1: He's like, you know, in his late twenties early thirties,
Speaker 1: and they're not following me. I truly get offended. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And it's not even like I'm like, what the fuck
Speaker 1: you think you're better than me? It's like, oh, this
Speaker 1: guy doesn't like look up to me in any way,
Speaker 1: not that anyone should, like I don't think I'm hot shit,
Speaker 1: but it's like you don't think like you don't even
Speaker 1: want to be friends with me. It's more that like
Speaker 1: you haven't heard him a nice person that you maybe
Speaker 1: want to shoot a follow to.
Speaker 2: Just to like, I'll try to to back these people up,
Speaker 2: lead at their level.
Speaker 1: I mean I do the same thing. I didn't follow
Speaker 1: this guy, so I guess it Yeah.
Speaker 2: At their level, it's really important to have a good ratio,
Speaker 2: so you know, you might they might check in on you.
Speaker 2: But like, if you can't just follow every famous comedian
Speaker 2: because then you you look like a loser.
Speaker 1: That's a really good point.
Speaker 2: Once you have one hundred thousand followers, and then you
Speaker 2: can have three thousands follow me like him more.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like this guy, this kid, I kind
Speaker 1: of want his approval. What's he's really funny. I'll give
Speaker 1: him a shout out. You're not following me, but I
Speaker 1: just discovered you today, and I think he's friends with
Speaker 1: like a meal. I've heard people tell me about this kid. Fuck,
Speaker 1: where is he?
Speaker 2: I just.
Speaker 1: No, Oh some kid Tommy, Oh, Tommy, Tommy Brennan.
Speaker 2: He's great, he's so funny, he's very nice.
Speaker 1: I just saw it, like one of his clips came
Speaker 1: up for me, and then I just went and watched
Speaker 1: like a bunch, Like I was just like, Okay, that
Speaker 1: one was hilarious. Let's see if he can do it again.
Speaker 1: That's fucking hilarious. Like I haven't missed with him. He's great,
Speaker 1: he's so he's a cutie too.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's in New York or he's New York always
Speaker 2: got that jacket. You've met really really Yeah. He used
Speaker 2: to work for Cameo back in the day. We were
Speaker 2: doing Yeah. Yeah. There was the outdoor show in l
Speaker 2: A and he came up. He was very compliment Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I've been on calls with him for Gimmy.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And he doesn't even follow you.
Speaker 1: No, but that's okay.
Speaker 2: Do you ever do Cameo in earnest?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And then are you still on it? Well?
Speaker 1: It might be because I just like got tired of
Speaker 1: doing them.
Speaker 2: How many were you doing during pandemic?
Speaker 1: I was doing a lot, but it was like I
Speaker 1: would say, probably like the height of it was for
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks. I was doing like I would say,
Speaker 1: like twenty a week, like he was adding up, and
Speaker 1: it was like it was just too much because I
Speaker 1: would I would make them personalized, and I would like
Speaker 1: write songs for people. No I raised I put my
Speaker 1: net like ten thousand dollars just so, or maybe a
Speaker 1: thousand just so people would stop ordering because I couldn't.
Speaker 1: I couldn't take myself off. I didn't know how it's
Speaker 1: all making sense. He's from He was a cute boy
Speaker 1: from Chicago with the girl who was blonde hair too.
Speaker 1: She was also. They were both so nice.
Speaker 2: He lived out here and he didn't get that much traction.
Speaker 3: Then he went to New York kid Tommy following him
Speaker 3: cele many followers?
Speaker 2: How many following.
Speaker 1: Seventy six point eight thousand followers following two four four four.
Speaker 2: Two thousand four four. Yeah, yeah, okay, so he should
Speaker 2: be following you with those numbers.
Speaker 1: But the fuck Tommy?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know me, it's very weird that following twenty
Speaker 2: five hundred people.
Speaker 1: No, because I followed him this morning for the first
Speaker 1: time and it didn't say follow back.
Speaker 2: He's following twenty five hundred people and you're not one
Speaker 2: of them. How could they go follow? How is there's not?
Speaker 1: It's okay, he probably is now is not come.
Speaker 2: Through once he hears this clip, He's going to follow you,
Speaker 2: But how could you follow twenty five text him right now?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, he'll he'll eventually hear about this, but
Speaker 1: he think of following you. But this is new, dude,
Speaker 1: this is new. I don't I swear I swear it's new.
Speaker 2: So I'm very surprised by that because he's not he was.
Speaker 1: But I definitely thought that he wasn't and I definitely
Speaker 1: noted it as like, man, I wish this kid's like
Speaker 1: thought it was funny because he's really funny.
Speaker 2: For Kelsey he has and he opens for like Becky
Speaker 2: Kelsey Cook. Yeah, I think, Yeah, I was thinking about
Speaker 2: it was like Becky Robinson, I'll.
Speaker 1: Bring this skin on the road.
Speaker 2: He's really Yes, twice as many followers as me, but
Speaker 2: I only followed three hundred and seventy five people. If
Speaker 2: I had his following out, probably.
Speaker 1: I would never have blessed. Why don't Why don't I
Speaker 1: because people look at it who know?
Speaker 2: They don't, yes they do. They don't look at it
Speaker 2: for you. They don't look at it for you.
Speaker 1: You've never been like, oh my fault. Like even when
Speaker 1: I didn't have that many followers.
Speaker 2: If I had who you like, if I had forty
Speaker 2: thousand followers and ten thousand following, no one would book me.
Speaker 1: But dude, you don't need to follow ten thousand people
Speaker 1: you can follow.
Speaker 2: I'm not a thousand more following. I'm following eighty thousand
Speaker 2: people and have one follower. No, but I know a
Speaker 2: lot of the immediate say yourself that see I can
Speaker 2: write for literally anybody. This is what I say. This
Speaker 2: is my quote. I can write for anybody's voice except
Speaker 2: one person, yourself, myself.
Speaker 1: That's a really that's really interesting. I disagree with you
Speaker 1: on that though. I think that like your stand up
Speaker 1: is very in your voice well, and I feel like
Speaker 1: you write for people like like I I just watched
Speaker 1: something that you had a hand in writing, and I
Speaker 1: could pick out each thing that you wrote because I
Speaker 1: know your voice.
Speaker 2: I can write for your voice. That's the thing.
Speaker 1: Dog shit.
Speaker 2: I love that bit.
Speaker 1: Wait, I was I was gonna do it. We have
Speaker 1: to bring I'll come back with my impression of Brian
Speaker 1: when I'm gonna try to do an impression of you.
Speaker 1: Last night to Chris because I was like and I
Speaker 1: was like, I go, what do you think a Brian
Speaker 1: Frangie impression? What word would it start with? And I
Speaker 1: can't remember it now, but it was like, there's only
Speaker 1: one word possibly that Brian Frangie would if impression of
Speaker 1: him would start with. And now I can't remember what
Speaker 1: it was, percentage wise like it.
Speaker 2: Was something like that.
Speaker 1: It was like some kind of like like uh, just
Speaker 1: a little like a I don't know, like fact not
Speaker 1: fact toy.
Speaker 2: But that would be like Adam Conover.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean yeah, but it's not like I don't
Speaker 1: know like that. No, I love the way you talk.
Speaker 1: I can, but I can, I can pick it out now.
Speaker 1: It's it's nice when you have that kind of stamp.
Speaker 1: Sure how you operate.
Speaker 2: Now, When I say, just to be clear, when I
Speaker 2: said I don't know if I like that about being
Speaker 2: compared to Adam Connover, it's not because I don't like
Speaker 2: Adam Conover. I love that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you want to be original.
Speaker 2: It's because Adam Connover is Adam Conover and I'm not
Speaker 2: Adam Connall.
Speaker 1: That's a really, really good boy.
Speaker 2: I do hate when.
Speaker 3: People follow zero zero oh yeah.
Speaker 2: The only way I give it that.
Speaker 1: Means we know you have a fake account, you loser.
Speaker 1: It's not like you aren't doing anything. What do you
Speaker 1: mean like we know that the person has a if
Speaker 1: you if you're following zero people, you have an account
Speaker 1: where you're following everyone you want to follow and you're
Speaker 1: literally just doing It's like that doesn't make you look cool.
Speaker 1: It makes you looking like you're trying to look cool.
Speaker 3: The only way I empathize is I do know someone
Speaker 3: that does it, and it's because they're in their head
Speaker 3: about comparing themselves to other people. Okay, well that comes
Speaker 3: from a place. No, there are others that are losers
Speaker 3: that they can't not well sorry.
Speaker 2: But they really losers, but.
Speaker 1: Loser on percise, you're a loser. But what do they
Speaker 1: really not look at Instagram at all? Like nothing comes
Speaker 1: up on their feet?
Speaker 2: I get, I mean, I guess you get suggest Well
Speaker 2: I did that for Apple rankings Instagram. I only follow
Speaker 2: five people on that, just like five. I think you're
Speaker 2: one of them. That's funny, and then Hamish and Andy
Speaker 2: and then like the Sweet Tango Apple Company or whatever. Okay,
Speaker 2: it's the Milt.
Speaker 3: There are other people that follow like two people and
Speaker 3: it's like a random like building and then there that's
Speaker 3: their mom, you know, like something like that's even.
Speaker 1: It me funny about it. But I just think that
Speaker 1: if you're I just don't like this, like trying to
Speaker 1: curate the way that you like, like not being able
Speaker 1: to enjoy content or support your friends because you're trying
Speaker 1: to look cool, like you're not trying.
Speaker 2: To Like, I really do think it makes a difference.
Speaker 1: But I mean, yeah, if it does, it does at.
Speaker 2: Your early stages, once you don't see one hundred or
Speaker 2: two hundred thousand followers you can easily have. You can
Speaker 2: be following two thousand about it, three thousand people, and
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1: How many people. I literally don't know how many people
Speaker 1: one following it might.
Speaker 2: Probably three thousand, really, I think, yeah, I don't yeah,
Speaker 2: thirty one fifty one, yeah, And so that's probably everybody
Speaker 2: you want to follow. You're not holding back on anybody
Speaker 2: except the.
Speaker 1: Guy today that I started like, I wish I would
Speaker 1: have been following him. There's a lot of people that
Speaker 1: I'm you know, what I learned about myself though, because
Speaker 1: I went back to try to find a video that
Speaker 1: I couldn't find that I'm like, that's the most annoying
Speaker 1: thing about Instagram is you cannot search memes like it's
Speaker 1: popping up on your feed. You can't type in, you know,
Speaker 1: chart about dogs looking at you and dreaming like, there's
Speaker 1: no way to find that little fucking lie that you saw.
Speaker 2: That exists, so.
Speaker 1: Why can't you? I just hate it. So I went
Speaker 1: back to go, oh, maybe, final thought, I go, maybe
Speaker 1: I liked it. I probably did, and that'll be the
Speaker 1: way to find it.
Speaker 2: So I went to my likes, whoa you can do that.
Speaker 1: Yeah. First of all, I say Instagram, Yeah, there's like
Speaker 1: you can see your history of your likes. Maybe this
Speaker 1: is something for people over ten thousand followers. I don't,
Speaker 1: but you have VET over that, right, Yeah, okay, so
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know, but you can look at
Speaker 1: your likes. I don't be like a lot of shit,
Speaker 1: Like I liked like five things in two weeks, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, am I being like stingy with my likes?
Speaker 1: Like I almost felt cool? I'm like, am I like
Speaker 1: a cool person? That's like, no I like from me
Speaker 1: means something to.
Speaker 2: Timmy shall May would be liking a lot of things.
Speaker 1: Truly.
Speaker 2: I don't think the more famous you get, probably less
Speaker 2: likes go.
Speaker 1: Now, but I don't even I didn't know that I
Speaker 1: was not giving out likes. I like stuff. I don't.
Speaker 1: It takes me two seconds to go, I like that.
Speaker 1: I thought I was doing it. So now I'm being
Speaker 1: more liberal with my legs because I assumed that I
Speaker 1: was liking these. It's in the same way that I
Speaker 1: assumed I would be following this person that I bring
Speaker 1: a family.
Speaker 2: You think about it this way. You have a unique
Speaker 2: power as a famous person to bring joy to people's.
Speaker 1: Lives and to like the algorithm and like help them
Speaker 1: get more views, like I need to comment more on things,
Speaker 1: Like I'm trying to comment more stuff and like and
Speaker 1: share it and uh, like I wanted to post one
Speaker 1: of Tommy's clips on my Instagram, but I haven't posted
Speaker 1: on my story like in a day, so it would
Speaker 1: have just been his alone, Like I just felt like,
Speaker 1: I don't even it would have just said and he's
Speaker 1: not following me, and I'm like never. I felt like
Speaker 1: I'd never met him before, so I was just like,
Speaker 1: I can't. I'll do this later once we're friends.
Speaker 2: I'll share stuff.
Speaker 1: But I also, you know I talked about on the
Speaker 1: podcast today, so.
Speaker 2: I'm all about comment thing now. I comment all the
Speaker 2: time on things, even if it's an argument, I'm I'm
Speaker 2: over it. I'm over being like I don't want to
Speaker 2: say my opinion. I don't want to get into an
Speaker 2: argument the ttrol. I'll just say my piece and it's
Speaker 2: like it's been great. I love getting on comments sometimes fun.
Speaker 1: I like leave one and then I'll have like two
Speaker 1: thousand likes like what yeah.
Speaker 3: But then I'll go I'll do I'll leave a funny
Speaker 3: comment on like a bigger comedians thing and it crushes.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I got one comment as like thirty four hundred, but
Speaker 3: it gets more likes than i'd get on mine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm like, this is how big this comedian was.
Speaker 2: Shane Gillis.
Speaker 3: He had a photo with Donald Trump, and I was like,
Speaker 3: this is like Trevor Noah posing with Barack Obama. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: something like that. I got like thirty four hundred. I'm like,
Speaker 3: this got more.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was very proud of a comment that I made
Speaker 2: on there was on Twitter. I mean doing this on Twitter. Damn.
Speaker 2: I don't have Twitter. I don't tweet at all, but
Speaker 2: I I'll comment.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: There was uh.
Speaker 1: Kirk Kirbstreet who does the Okay, so you know this,
Speaker 1: can you explain it because I'm kind of forgetting.
Speaker 2: Well, he just he was talking about what I did
Speaker 2: countdown right or Ohio States like yeah, and Shannon Sharp
Speaker 2: got varying or one of the Yeah.
Speaker 3: I didn't do a good job explaining because I actually
Speaker 3: don't know much about this, Okay, I just know.
Speaker 2: That well he was he was like kind of critical
Speaker 2: of some football team that has a huge fan base
Speaker 2: in college football and then, and we also may remember
Speaker 2: that Kirk Kirbstreet has a famous dog that he bring
Speaker 2: to all the games and it recently died. So one
Speaker 2: of the fans of the team that he was criticizing
Speaker 2: tweeted out, why don't you go pet your dog? Which
Speaker 2: I found to be one of the most obscene, offensive
Speaker 2: things I've ever read on doesn't have a new dog
Speaker 2: on the road with him. Yeah, but he's that's what when.
Speaker 1: You're saying, like kill yourself, like go to heaven.
Speaker 2: No, he's saying he's just trying to hurt him by saying,
Speaker 2: like your dog Kert Street.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I kind of took it as like you should
Speaker 1: go die because that's the only way you could put
Speaker 1: your dog.
Speaker 2: I guess it could be that too, But I just
Speaker 2: don't tolerate someone bringing up someone good for you. So
Speaker 2: I tweeted, it's just pureless straightforward. I just said, you're
Speaker 2: an asshole. Great, and man, it's just I'm every single
Speaker 2: person that likes it, I'm like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 2: I used to not do that. I used to be
Speaker 2: I'm not going to engage with people like this. I'm
Speaker 2: not going to say my true opinion. But this guy
Speaker 2: you're an asshole.
Speaker 3: I do it on TikTok sometimes because I'm just like,
Speaker 3: no one's gonna I just feel anonymous on TikTok a
Speaker 3: little bit. So I'll write comments sometimes and I'm like
Speaker 3: right out of Reddit, like I.
Speaker 2: Feel I feel bad doing like I just feel weird.
Speaker 2: But Redd, it's really personal.
Speaker 1: Chest Nuts the other day on an US Weekly post
Speaker 1: which listen US Weekly, we're not looking to them as
Speaker 1: the forefront of like, you know, celebrity even celebrity journalism,
Speaker 1: like we know that they're like no, but they're not
Speaker 1: as trashy as like to me, they're not as trashy.
Speaker 2: For international Yeah, yeah, they're.
Speaker 1: Not for me. They're not as trashy as like A,
Speaker 1: I don't know like some of the other tabloids. I
Speaker 1: can't think of the names of them, but I just like,
Speaker 1: you know, i've been in AS Weekly, like I think
Speaker 1: they're they're uplifting celebrities. They're giving you like a very
Speaker 1: like watered down like we love Hollywood and everything's great.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's not like you're not getting truth bombs there.
Speaker 1: But they had like the the whole thing of justin
Speaker 1: Timberlake in the Harness where it looked like his penis
Speaker 1: was small or whatever. Did you see that?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: And then he had a new T shirt. He got
Speaker 3: a new shirt to cover his penis. Okay, and then
Speaker 3: they call that out.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, it's so fucking rude.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 1: And then the comments because of the Britney Spears and
Speaker 1: everyone and and the Janna Jackson of it all, like
Speaker 1: everyone feels like it's okay to just pile on Justin
Speaker 1: Timberlake and not like him and and body shame him
Speaker 1: like it's as nothing what I did to Britain and
Speaker 1: Janet or whatever you think about that has nothing to
Speaker 1: do with his penis size, but making fun of someone
Speaker 1: who might look like that. First of all, every I
Speaker 1: think that penises look small when they're not hard, Like
Speaker 1: that's just a thing that happens, especially when it's tucked
Speaker 1: up in a harness. And who first of all, if
Speaker 1: he has a small penis, who gives a fuck?
Speaker 2: That might be the reason why he was being to
Speaker 2: Janet and brit News, because well, he has a small
Speaker 2: penis and he feels bad about.
Speaker 1: It, And why does he feel bad about himself? Because
Speaker 1: we have a culture that constantly makes fun of guys
Speaker 1: for having small penises and feels that it's like acceptable
Speaker 1: to do that when really it doesn't matter at all.
Speaker 1: It doesn't say anything about your manhood that you have
Speaker 1: a big dick. It literally any woman.
Speaker 2: But it's good to have a big hulk and dong.
Speaker 1: Well some women like it, but guess what, like it's
Speaker 1: it's absolutely not necessary for to be a real man
Speaker 1: in bed and to really pleasure a woman. Like I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I used to have a bit about it, but I
Speaker 1: took it out of my act because I just felt
Speaker 1: like it wasn't worked out enough. But my point it
Speaker 1: wasn't even funny. My point is that lesbians have satisfying
Speaker 1: sex salzes and they don't have penises at all, and
Speaker 1: they like penetration. Yea, if you have a penis size
Speaker 1: that you don't like, just use toys and your woman
Speaker 1: will if she needs a big dick, like, just use toys.
Speaker 1: But also you don't really need a big dick. And
Speaker 1: also it is not okay to shame. I don't care
Speaker 1: who he is to make it about it. I don't
Speaker 1: even like when people are like Trump has a small dick,
Speaker 1: because it's like that is not something that we should
Speaker 1: judge people's character by at all or shame them for
Speaker 1: it's they can't help them, it's bullshit, and it creates
Speaker 1: this is where in cells come from, because they see
Speaker 1: women are very outspoken about dick size because they know
Speaker 1: they can be because if any guy goes that's me,
Speaker 1: oh you have a small dick, And so they men
Speaker 1: can't even defend themselves because they'll seem like they have
Speaker 1: a small dick if they do. It's this like perfect
Speaker 1: thing that women feel like they can just attack men on.
Speaker 1: And I know it comes from a place of women
Speaker 1: feeling totally attacked on their bodies and feeling like men
Speaker 1: judge us for our tit size and how much we weigh.
Speaker 1: But guess what, we've all culturally kind of come together
Speaker 1: and gone, that's so, and it's not okay to do us.
Speaker 1: Weekly would totally never put up a post about some
Speaker 1: woman's boobs being.
Speaker 2: Too small vaginal or someone being fat.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but for some reason it's totally fine to
Speaker 1: just like like put this out there. And they didn't
Speaker 1: say he had a small dick, but they just put
Speaker 1: it out there so that that the vultures could just
Speaker 1: swing in and just start tearing him to shreds, and
Speaker 1: I'm just like I just thought it was, and so
Speaker 1: I put this whole thing of like, I can't wait
Speaker 1: for this to come back around in ten years when
Speaker 1: we say how did men survive the uh, you know,
Speaker 1: twenty twenties, you know how Like all the memes are about,
Speaker 1: like how did women survive the body negativity in the
Speaker 1: early two thousands, And there's clips of Britney Spears being
Speaker 1: asked about her boobs. There's clips of Jessica Simpson being
Speaker 1: called fat when she was in size four, and it's
Speaker 1: like all this evidence to be like we all should
Speaker 1: have eating disorders? How did we survive? We're so strong,
Speaker 1: We're gonna do that for men, but it's gonna be
Speaker 1: about right now because we're not. This is making men
Speaker 1: hate us. Yeah, And I would fucking hate women too
Speaker 1: if they were found it totally culturally acceptable to talk
Speaker 1: about my dick's size and make it seem like that
Speaker 1: is an indication of who I am or my worth
Speaker 1: as a human. I would really implore women to not
Speaker 1: partake in these conversations about small dicks. Not laugh about it,
Speaker 1: not giggle about it. Talk if you're disappointed by a
Speaker 1: dick with your friends. Talk about it in a closed,
Speaker 1: closed environment, but don't talk about it in front of
Speaker 1: other men because they can't defend themselves because then that
Speaker 1: feels like they're outing themselves as having a small dick,
Speaker 1: which is somehow shameful because of this whole thing, let's
Speaker 1: like change the vibe about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not nice. I mean, to be fair, there's
Speaker 2: there's a lot of men who would pay good money
Speaker 2: to have a hot girl say their dick is small.
Speaker 2: On the air, that's true.
Speaker 1: But if that's what you're into, like great going. But
Speaker 1: for the most part, it is like really har harness.
Speaker 2: Dick is tough. We don't know if he's got a
Speaker 2: small dick or not. He might have a perfectly huge and.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Yeah, who cares. I justin Timberlake is hot,
Speaker 1: he's talented, like he no one's gonna kick him out
Speaker 1: of bed for whatever he has in there, Like I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: we don't, I don't, I don't. I don't even care
Speaker 1: if he has a dick. I would still have dated.
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't matter to me as a woman that, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it just doesn't matter that much. You
Speaker 1: could have a guy a husband with a huge dick,
Speaker 1: and he could be in an accent and get it
Speaker 1: chopped off. Okay, so is he worth like a you're
Speaker 1: not gonna marry it, say, but it can happen. Like
Speaker 1: it's like there could be leanest cancer you that have
Speaker 1: it removed. Like it's not every it's not your whole
Speaker 1: worth as a man. It absolutely would never matter to
Speaker 1: me if my boyfriend had whatever.
Speaker 2: He had, or maybe he has. Maybe there's a guy
Speaker 2: who you discounted as a small dick and then he
Speaker 2: gets a disease where his dick grows three sides, three
Speaker 2: times the size, and does that make him now worth
Speaker 2: more to some?
Speaker 1: It's culturally it would seem so, but guess what, it
Speaker 1: wouldn't ultimately at all. And even women who are like,
Speaker 1: I'm a size queen, I need a big dick. Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: you're letting a lot of good men go cook, really cook. Wow, Wow,
Speaker 1: you're so different than other women. You need a big dick?
Speaker 2: Like shut up, Like, oh no, it's it's the motion
Speaker 2: rather than the ocean or whatever. Right in the motion.
Speaker 1: It's go buy a sex toy.
Speaker 3: No, I agree, but I'm just saying I hear all
Speaker 3: these times where like girls are like you thinker, it's
Speaker 3: not about the size, it's not about the size. And
Speaker 3: then I'll see like a TikTok of some guy that
Speaker 3: throws his cock in some white shorts and it's like
Speaker 3: bouncing around, and then the videos are all like.
Speaker 1: Tongues a big good But if you don't have one, I'm.
Speaker 2: Sorry, just well, dick can be too big, right, yeah,
Speaker 2: it can be too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it does feel I'm not denying that. It's
Speaker 1: an interesting feeling and it does feel good, but it's
Speaker 1: also it can be too big. And also I don't
Speaker 1: think guys should be ashamed of using toys to supplement
Speaker 1: once in a while if they're if you want it,
Speaker 1: like I'm sorry, Like sometimes I don't want My boyfriend
Speaker 1: doesn't have two dicks, and sometimes I want to, So
Speaker 1: do I only have one? I'm good enough for her.
Speaker 1: We just get another one in the mix.
Speaker 2: And here's the thing about the toys. It's like, you know,
Speaker 2: it just saves energy, Like it's hard to make, it's
Speaker 2: hard to keep going, oh my god, I'm sorry, Like use.
Speaker 1: A toy using your hand is a lot easier than
Speaker 1: your hips. Also for like it's.
Speaker 2: Like using a microwave instead of like boiling water totally.
Speaker 2: It's like you can use the microwave totally. I think
Speaker 2: bring in as many toys as you want.
Speaker 1: I don't men need to be more accepting of women
Speaker 1: using toys and bed if they want and not feeling
Speaker 1: like it means that they're not enough. And I would
Speaker 1: say the same for women in terms of like if
Speaker 1: you're catch a man watching porn and it's like about
Speaker 1: huge tits and you don't have huge tits, like allow
Speaker 1: some flexibility of his desire to be outside the bounds
Speaker 1: of what you bring to the table, but don't take
Speaker 1: it personally. And women stop, just stop the small dick stuff.
Speaker 1: Just please stop. It's like bad for society.
Speaker 2: That's that's the resolution for the society.
Speaker 1: For society. I would really think, feel.
Speaker 3: Bad if your boyfriend or husband uses dig pills, because
Speaker 3: it's not about you, it's just.
Speaker 2: You should feel bad that they're bad. I guess you're
Speaker 2: talking about like those things you shouldn't take. I think
Speaker 2: like the pills, the supplement bigger, no, that's filled with
Speaker 2: chemical that's not real.
Speaker 1: And if there's a female, they're calling it female viagirl.
Speaker 1: But it's not really because it doesn't make you like
Speaker 1: get what's chemically makes you get wet. It just like
Speaker 1: I think, makes your hormones change so that you're more horny.
Speaker 1: And it's been on the mom it's called ade or something.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I want it so bad, but until then,
Speaker 1: go see Baby Girl. Go see Baby Girl if you
Speaker 1: want to be a little bit horned up at least
Speaker 1: I was. I felt deeply uncomfortable with how horny I
Speaker 1: felt during that movie. But it was good.
Speaker 2: Like what parts were you horny at? Though?
Speaker 1: Like when she is getting fingered.
Speaker 2: Yeah, fingered without yeah.
Speaker 1: And there's like a pillow over her head.
Speaker 2: Apparently she had a real orgasm. No wet. That's what
Speaker 2: a gay guy told me cutting my hair yesterday. He
Speaker 2: read his famous favorite comedian.
Speaker 1: Is he following me?
Speaker 2: No? I followed him.
Speaker 1: We gotta go see Baby Girl though, if you want
Speaker 1: to get horned up ladies, And uh, all right, that's
Speaker 1: the podcast. We'll be back next week and New Year.
Speaker 1: What was that? No, watch the Golden Globes.
Speaker 2: Watch the Golden Globes. Support your girls. Felt for all
Speaker 2: the men listening, I guess, and women too. I don't
Speaker 2: know why I said that. Let's just say, for anybody listening.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear what you were just going
Speaker 1: to be directing only to men.
Speaker 2: This is going to be right after an NFL wild
Speaker 2: Card playoff game, So just keep the TV on.
Speaker 1: Yeah that's easy. Yeah, yeah, who is it going to
Speaker 1: be against?
Speaker 2: We don't know, Yeah, you don't know. Yeah, we don't
Speaker 2: know until the playoffs.
Speaker 1: The Chiefs possibility.
Speaker 2: No, but they're gonna have a buye. They just they
Speaker 2: just clinched first seed. Oh really yeah, they're gonna have
Speaker 2: a buye.
Speaker 1: Is it going to be another Chiefs Super Bowl?
Speaker 2: It's looking like it's harness with a little penis.
Speaker 1: At the gold globe. At the globe. Yeah, if you
Speaker 1: got lower down for a propos of nothing like literally
Speaker 1: no one, and don't even mention it. It's gonna may.
Speaker 2: Maybe a bigger dick you want to.
Speaker 1: I bet it. I bet he's It doesn't even matter,
Speaker 1: but I bet he is a grower. Like I'm like,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't put that, and who gives a shit if
Speaker 1: he's not, Like it has nothing to do with how
Speaker 1: you feel about justin Timberlany. It's literally it's just you're
Speaker 1: being mean and you're making an excising about some Be
Speaker 1: more creative with your insults about like, make it really
Speaker 1: about what you're mad at him about. Not that. All right,
Speaker 1: gotta go, Thank you for listening. I'll be good bye.