WEBVTT - #499 Golden Globes Ready, Reverse Resolutions & It's 2025, Size Doesn't Matter! 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:12.680 The Nikki Glazer Podcast. Glaser, Hello here, I am welcome 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:16.480 to the show. It's Sticky Glazer Podcast. Here in amazing. 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:19.560 What is that? What? What? What is? You're already shaking 0:00:19.560 --> 0:00:22.360 your head. Did I did I just appoint you with somebody? No? 0:00:22.440 --> 0:00:24.800 And no, it's just about you know, life is key 0:00:24.840 --> 0:00:25.759 is rolling along. 0:00:25.560 --> 0:00:27.920 Doesn't it just game going? It just never ends the 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:30.760 holidays are over, you know. 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:33.000 For Christians, it's like you have that like it's gonna 0:00:33.000 --> 0:00:35.880 be like the Golden Globes. The Golden Globes are January fifth, 0:00:35.920 --> 0:00:38.000 and your entire life for the last month is the 0:00:38.040 --> 0:00:40.839 Golden Globes. Then on January fifth, the Golden Globes are 0:00:40.840 --> 0:00:42.600 going to happen, and then the next day you're gonna 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:44.720 wake up and your life is just going to continue on. 0:00:45.040 --> 0:00:46.720 Yeah. Well, the next day I have to do Stern 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:48.440 and then the next day after that I go to 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:50.000 Hawaiian and then the next day then I have to 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:52.279 come back for the Critics' Choice Awards, and then and 0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:54.680 then there I have a special to start preparing for it. 0:00:54.680 --> 0:00:57.000 Like it's just there's never going to be an end 0:00:57.360 --> 0:00:57.960 to working. 0:00:58.320 --> 0:00:59.880 Yep. And that's good. 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:02.640 Yeah, that's yeah. That's good. 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:05.360 I guess yeah, I think I'm I think I'm having 0:01:05.480 --> 0:01:09.280 a existential crisis with the repetitive nature of the intro 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:10.280 to this podcast. 0:01:10.800 --> 0:01:15.880 Every time you do it, I go like, a right, right, right, yes, yeah, 0:01:15.920 --> 0:01:16.840 it just keeps going. 0:01:17.000 --> 0:01:19.280 Actually keep it. 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:22.480 You need sleep every day. You need to eat every day, 0:01:22.560 --> 0:01:24.800 like you're never like some people are bothered by eating. 0:01:24.840 --> 0:01:26.560 I remember like someone was like, I hate that I 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:28.480 have to eat, Like it's like I think it was. 0:01:28.680 --> 0:01:30.840 I think Andrew Schultz one night at the cellar was like, 0:01:30.840 --> 0:01:32.959 I don't really like to eat. It like interferes with 0:01:33.000 --> 0:01:36.679 my productivity, Like I have to remember to eat. I'm like, whoa, wild, 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:40.600 It's the only good part of my Life's amazing. I 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:41.959 feel that it gets in the way. 0:01:42.000 --> 0:01:44.760 I feel that way about showering. I every if I 0:01:44.800 --> 0:01:46.480 don't shower in the morning and I have to shower 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:48.560 at night, and I'm like, it's just like weighing on 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:51.720 me and it takes like twenty five minutes me. 0:01:51.640 --> 0:01:54.200 About Sorry, we have to blow dryer hair, Yeah that 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:56.880 is all or you just look gross. 0:01:57.040 --> 0:02:01.720 Yeah I blow dry my hair too, but I've been 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:03.360 doing this thing lately. I don't know if women are 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:12.000 onto this, but I'm sure you, uh, you don't blow 0:02:12.080 --> 0:02:14.200 dry and then you just have wet hair for a 0:02:14.240 --> 0:02:17.160 while and then like maybe an hour later you blow 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:18.679 dry and takes like two seconds. 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:22.359 Yeah, but its yeah, but it can it can take 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:26.239 a shape when it's longer. Ya, that's harder to get out, yeah, 0:02:26.280 --> 0:02:28.560 with the blow dry, But it really does make all 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:31.120 the difference to blow dry your hair. Like I find 0:02:31.400 --> 0:02:33.040 as a woman, like if I just let air dry, 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:35.440 which I do, I would say eighty percent of the time, 0:02:35.800 --> 0:02:38.040 it like you just have to wash it the next 0:02:38.080 --> 0:02:40.360 day sooner because it gets scraggly and like it just 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:44.560 looks like shit and it's like thin frizzy. Like even 0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:47.400 I got a fucking ad yesterday on my Instagram that 0:02:47.480 --> 0:02:50.600 was like, do you have curly kind of frizzy hair 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:52.600 that when you air dry it it looks like shit? 0:02:53.639 --> 0:02:54.440 How do you know? 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:56.480 Like I don't even post pictures of myself when it 0:02:56.520 --> 0:02:58.760 looks like that that that often, but it like new 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:00.960 it is like does it get tangled on the bottoms 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:03.200 and then you can't get the hair tie out because 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:06.160 it's tangled around And it was like it was so 0:03:06.360 --> 0:03:09.400 targeted just based on some of the pictures, it's like 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:10.720 scammed about me. 0:03:11.000 --> 0:03:13.520 Well wait till ads get a real handle on AI, 0:03:13.639 --> 0:03:15.680 because then the ads will be like, hey, NICKI, I've 0:03:15.720 --> 0:03:19.040 noticed that your hair has been tangled lately in your pictures, 0:03:19.080 --> 0:03:21.280 and we have this product that actually would fix that 0:03:21.320 --> 0:03:23.200 exact thing. And I'll be like and it'll be like 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:24.440 Taylor Swift's voice. 0:03:24.639 --> 0:03:27.160 Yeah, you'll talk back to it too and be like, oh, 0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:29.000 thank you so much for letting me know no one 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:30.280 else is paying attention to me. 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:33.639 Yeah, I feel so alone. And there'll be a bunch 0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:35.760 of comments on the ad like Nicky should really get this, 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:37.560 and then your fail will be making their own comments 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:40.240 and your phone will dry your hair for you people. 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:44.520 I was thinking yesterday I got a DM from TMZ, 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:46.480 like this girl that works at TMZ that's always just 0:03:46.480 --> 0:03:48.800 sent me like nice thing, Like she's just like, hey, 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:50.520 you want to comment on this or like whatever. TMZ 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:53.040 is like they're nice people, and a lot of them 0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:55.360 are like comics and stuff that you like wait outside, 0:03:55.360 --> 0:03:57.040 So I'm always just like nice to them if they 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:59.360 ever want to, Like, they're always asking me inflammatory things. 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:02.120 I think in New York they asked me about Luigi 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:03.680 and I was like, I don't want to talk about 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:05.160 that guy. Like I was just like I'm going to 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:08.360 say something that's gonna be weird. I was just like, no, 0:04:08.760 --> 0:04:11.160 like why am I no commenting about Luigi? It made 0:04:11.280 --> 0:04:13.240 me feel like I had like I fucked him or something, 0:04:13.240 --> 0:04:16.000 you know, like no comment about But I was just like, 0:04:16.040 --> 0:04:18.400 it's my dog's name that disappoints me, you know, like 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:20.400 my dog used to be the hottest Luigi or whatever. 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:23.359 I said something, and but then yesterday I get a 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:26.640 DM that was like, hey, there, we just got a 0:04:26.680 --> 0:04:31.279 tip about you, and we're wondering if you would want 0:04:31.279 --> 0:04:34.120 to comment before we run it, and that I'm not 0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:34.680 kidding you. 0:04:34.760 --> 0:04:36.839 Like I almost had a heart attack. 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.320 I was. I was down in like the lot, like 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:42.600 working on the script. I was like about to go 0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:45.040 into a writer's meeting upstairs, and I was getting the 0:04:45.040 --> 0:04:48.520 script ready, and then I'm like I truly felt what 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:51.120 maybe might feel like a panic attack because I and 0:04:51.160 --> 0:04:54.159 then I'm texting Emily showing her. I texted Chris and 0:04:54.160 --> 0:04:55.880 they're like, call this number if you want to like 0:04:55.920 --> 0:04:57.600 talk to us about it before we run it. So 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:00.840 I sent it to Chris and Chris is like, I'll call. 0:05:00.920 --> 0:05:02.520 So he calls the number and I'm just like, but 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:04.800 he's up in the apartment. I'm downstairs. I'm like waiting 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:06.480 for the bubbles to come up and like show me 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:09.000 what is it. And he's like, they're calling me back. 0:05:09.040 --> 0:05:11.839 I got sent to a different guy. I'm like, oh God. 0:05:12.279 --> 0:05:17.200 And then they finally call back and it's it's about 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:20.320 a show that taped. They were like, we got a 0:05:20.320 --> 0:05:23.039 hot tip that Nikki talked a lot of shit about 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:26.680 this celebrity at this show taping and I wasn't on 0:05:26.720 --> 0:05:30.040 the show taping and I didn't talk shit about that person, 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:32.000 and no one even did on the show. And it 0:05:32.040 --> 0:05:34.520 was a total It was literally the most nothing. I 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:37.040 hate when people say nothing Burger, but like this is, yeah, 0:05:37.080 --> 0:05:40.440 it was. It was truly nothing. My heart great. I 0:05:40.560 --> 0:05:45.880 just was like I was so I was so calm immediately, 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:48.080 but I wrote to Chris. I was like, that was 0:05:48.160 --> 0:05:50.000 not worth what I just went through, Like I just 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:54.400 got a cardio exercise, but like I just aged like 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:57.560 that was so stressful, thinking that like I was gonna 0:05:57.600 --> 0:05:59.880 have to like put out some statement or like really 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:02.279 ultimately it was about like someone might be mad at me, 0:06:02.400 --> 0:06:04.600 or someone might that I'm performing for at the Golden 0:06:04.600 --> 0:06:06.640 Globes might have heard that I said something about a 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:11.000 dress they wore once or whatever. The even no jokes 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:13.560 I could stand by because I'd just be like, they're jokes. Yeah, 0:06:13.560 --> 0:06:15.840 But if it was like something I had told a 0:06:15.839 --> 0:06:18.599 friend backstage about some celebrity that was rude to me, 0:06:18.680 --> 0:06:21.160 and like cause I talked shit about celebrities that are 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:23.599 pieces of shit. But I'm not famous enough to like 0:06:23.839 --> 0:06:26.920 be out with that. I will someday, And I think 0:06:26.960 --> 0:06:27.920 that's relatable, Like. 0:06:28.760 --> 0:06:30.760 But I always do that. It is relatable. Like if 0:06:30.760 --> 0:06:33.080 you go and you fly and you're going over customs, 0:06:33.160 --> 0:06:35.000 you always think you might have drugs in your bag 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:37.800 or you think, oh yeah, like of like the most 0:06:37.839 --> 0:06:40.840 negative like I must have I must be doing something wrong. 0:06:41.040 --> 0:06:43.960 I've done that all the time. And I haven't done cocaine. 0:06:44.000 --> 0:06:46.000 And when I quit twenty years and I'm like, I 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:47.680 have so much coke in my bag. But if you're 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:49.600 going to like Singapore or something and you had just 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:50.040 like some. 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:54.080 Like a scumambient on your coaster, yeah you get your decapitad. No. 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:56.200 I was just terrified. I was just like that was 0:06:56.360 --> 0:06:59.960 really unnecessary to put my nervous system through, Like, yes, 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:01.839 really shook it up. I felt it, the facts of 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:03.719 it all day long, and it was just five minutes 0:07:03.920 --> 0:07:06.320 like really like oh my god. And you know, it's 0:07:06.320 --> 0:07:08.000 like anything if you lose your purse, if you're like 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:10.520 kid you kind of struck them at the mall for 0:07:10.600 --> 0:07:13.240 thirty seconds or whatever, Like it was just that kind 0:07:13.280 --> 0:07:15.680 of thing of like everything's about to be taken from you. 0:07:15.760 --> 0:07:18.160 But also I was kind of like, okay, fine take it, 0:07:18.240 --> 0:07:20.080 like I'll just I'll be okay. 0:07:20.200 --> 0:07:22.000 I was like TMZ, now I need an e m 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:26.520 T which is Trevor Wallace style joke. Oh yeah, listening, 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:28.880 I just wrote a good Yeah, that's a good joke. 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:31.480 Yeah that is a good yeah. And then I'm gonna 0:07:31.520 --> 0:07:33.760 and then I'll have to do that d MT to 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:34.680 get my life. 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.840 Back, and I'm gonna have to go to the DMV 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:40.600 and get a new license because I just lost it. 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:44.520 And then I'll be straddling my lives, of my my 0:07:45.000 --> 0:07:47.080 sides of my world like I'm on the DMZ. 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:49.120 Wow. 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:52.640 And then I like yeah, like you like if you can't, 0:07:52.680 --> 0:07:55.240 you can put your foot over it, I think. And 0:07:55.320 --> 0:07:56.760 then I've looked over it. I think. 0:07:57.080 --> 0:07:58.560 So you've been to in Korea. 0:07:58.680 --> 0:08:03.680 Korea, Yeah, I went, yeah, yeah, but I looked into 0:08:03.760 --> 0:08:06.000 North but it was still like two thousand and eight. 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:08.440 We were performing for the American troops that were stationed over. 0:08:08.520 --> 0:08:13.320 Oh yeah, it wasn't us. It was called Tessa's Funny 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:14.240 Ladies or something. 0:08:14.320 --> 0:08:18.440 Wow, that's a lot more official soundings. Yeah, it was. 0:08:18.960 --> 0:08:24.960 I bombed so bad, Like, yeah, I bombed the troops heavily. 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:28.040 It was. It was so because I had to follow 0:08:28.120 --> 0:08:30.040 the first show. I followed April Macy because I had 0:08:30.080 --> 0:08:32.839 like recently gotten it was two thousand nine, summer of 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:35.440 two thousand and nine, had gotten a Tonight Show credit. 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:39.360 So like I guess they were, you know, the woman 0:08:39.480 --> 0:08:42.000 organizing the show was like, Nikki should close, she has 0:08:42.040 --> 0:08:44.640 a Tonight Show credit, and April had been doing it 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:47.040 a little bit longer than me. April's just like a 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:51.040 fucking it's a different closer, like she's I wouldn't want 0:08:51.040 --> 0:08:53.480 to follow her now, like I just it's she's just 0:08:53.559 --> 0:08:55.880 so good. So April Macy and she had just done 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:58.319 the last comic standing, but they put me after her 0:08:58.360 --> 0:09:00.880 on the first show. They switched that real quick. I 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:03.520 bombed rs than I've ever bombed, Like I couldn't. 0:09:07.000 --> 0:09:07.440 We got to. 0:09:10.760 --> 0:09:12.920 He's pointing out my set to his daughter on that 0:09:12.960 --> 0:09:17.360 little tour. We yeah, we, but then we had to 0:09:17.360 --> 0:09:19.120 do a meet and greet afterwards. Like if I bomb, 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:21.760 I don't want to see anyone, like I always, I 0:09:21.800 --> 0:09:23.560 don't want to see anyone, even if I kill after 0:09:23.559 --> 0:09:25.679 the show, I'm always like scared one person is going 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:27.800 to be like ruin the moment. I didn't like it, 0:09:27.840 --> 0:09:29.800 and they have to pretend because their husband wants to 0:09:29.800 --> 0:09:32.080 meet me, and like it happens. I see it happen. 0:09:32.120 --> 0:09:34.200 They're never really blatantly rude about it. But I see 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:35.880 when people don't want to meet me where they go. 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:38.040 I'm good, I don't need a picture. And it's not 0:09:38.080 --> 0:09:40.240 even about like I don't like pictures. I don't you know. 0:09:40.320 --> 0:09:42.520 It's like, literally, I don't like you, and I'm trying 0:09:42.520 --> 0:09:43.840 to let you know that kind of thing. 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:45.880 That's terrible, But this it was. 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:48.480 I cried in the bathroom after and then they switched 0:09:48.480 --> 0:09:49.960 it so I went before her and I ended up 0:09:50.320 --> 0:09:53.839 having a better time. But that trip was really fun 0:09:53.920 --> 0:10:00.400 and Soul is so clean. Yeah, no, trash cans anywhere and. 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:03.080 Thread in Southeast Asia. Of all of those, it can 0:10:03.120 --> 0:10:06.360 be done in Singapore. Yeah, it can not have trash. 0:10:07.679 --> 0:10:10.520 The heavy penalty, Well, there's two things. I think this 0:10:10.640 --> 0:10:13.640 is my one is heavy penalty is for littering. So 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:15.920 if you in Singapore, if you put trash on the ground, 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.920 the cut off your hands. Literally, no, not literally, but 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:25.120 figure take the hands and figuratively no, it's pretty hard. 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:27.880 Yeah, no trash with so many hands. 0:10:27.920 --> 0:10:30.880 And then second, it's just cultural. It's there's a thing 0:10:30.960 --> 0:10:35.240 that they have in Southeast Asia. It's close to respect. 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:37.000 There's a thing they have in Southeast Asia that we've 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:41.040 totally lost in America, and it's called shame. And if 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:44.120 you litter, you might be culturally shamed for doing that, 0:10:44.160 --> 0:10:46.960 where in America no one has any shame anymore. And 0:10:47.000 --> 0:10:48.480 it's I am filled with it. 0:10:49.000 --> 0:10:50.880 If I if there was a wrapper that fell out 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:52.640 of my pocket and someone saw it fall out and 0:10:52.679 --> 0:10:54.760 I didn't get it, I would then and if I 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:56.520 like found later like oh my god, it's all out 0:10:56.520 --> 0:10:58.680 of my pocket, someone might have seen that and thought 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:01.959 I did that on purpose. Deep shame for a person 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:02.800 that I don't even know. 0:11:03.440 --> 0:11:05.560 Then you should feel shame. 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:08.240 If you litter. If people who if you are someone 0:11:08.280 --> 0:11:10.000 who listens to this podcast and you were someone who 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:13.240 puts their fucking cup outside of your car, you clean 0:11:13.320 --> 0:11:15.320 your car out on the parking lot, and you think 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:18.760 putting your cup and everything sitting upright isn't litter and 0:11:18.800 --> 0:11:20.800 you just sit there on the yellow line in between 0:11:20.800 --> 0:11:23.240 the cars. Stop listening to this podcast. I don't want 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:24.840 I do not want you to listen to this. I 0:11:24.840 --> 0:11:26.800 don't I think you're a bad person. I think you 0:11:26.800 --> 0:11:29.240 don't think about anyone but yourself. Someone has to fucking 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:30.800 pick that up and also or. 0:11:30.840 --> 0:11:33.079 Not or it just blows around forever. 0:11:33.440 --> 0:11:35.040 Yeah, and I know, like the like it's gonna end 0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:37.200 up in a landfill anyway. Well, let's just buy the 0:11:37.240 --> 0:11:40.480 time until the landfills start creeping into society. Can we 0:11:40.600 --> 0:11:41.840 just keep it a little tidy? 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:42.720 Yeah. 0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:46.040 And also, if you're in a bathroom, and I've said 0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:48.079 this before, and this is something that I have stuck 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:50.600 to since I realized it one day. I have never 0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:54.000 once literally in the past I would say ten years, 0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:57.120 and this is pretty impressive. Never once have I been 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:59.520 in the bathroom and you know, pull the toilet paper, 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:01.360 which have to do every single time you have to 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:04.960 utilize toilet paper, and you sometimes get the strands, which 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:07.280 I always think the Ellen degenerous joke where she's like, 0:12:07.760 --> 0:12:09.720 this isn't a time to be celebrating, Like it looks 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:10.080 like party. 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:10.959 Like she's like, this is. 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:12.880 No time to be celebrating. I always say that. But 0:12:12.960 --> 0:12:15.440 if a little piece of toilet paper falls onto the 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:19.240 floor from me pulling it out, any any piece of anything, 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:22.280 I will always pick it up. Never once have I 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:24.480 been like, it's already a shitty bathroom, it's all over, 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:26.840 not if it's in a urin like a ten years 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.400 running ten years. And if I go to if I 0:12:29.520 --> 0:12:31.080 wash my hands and I use a paper towel and 0:12:31.120 --> 0:12:32.920 it misses the bin and it falls on the floor. 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:34.560 And I used to be someone who was just like, 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:36.360 there's a bunch of paper towels on the floor anyway, 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:38.800 who gives a shit? I have never once in ten 0:12:38.880 --> 0:12:41.480 years since I said, Nikki, if you ever do this again, 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:43.120 your career will not go the way you wanted to. 0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:45.720 I made one of those fucking OCD things. Yeah, but 0:12:45.720 --> 0:12:47.520 it really wasn't about that. It was like that was 0:12:47.600 --> 0:12:49.320 to get me to do it. But it's really about 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:52.120 I realized someone has to bend down and pick that up. 0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:52.920 Yeah, And I know. 0:12:52.840 --> 0:12:54.920 It's like they're already down there and there's one more thing. 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:56.559 It's still one more little lean. 0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:57.080 Yeah. 0:12:57.160 --> 0:12:59.480 And why am I good doing that to that woman's 0:12:59.520 --> 0:13:02.280 back who's cleaning up this bathroom? Why is that her 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:04.600 job to clean up my fucking mess? Her job is 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:08.000 empty the bins. Her job isn't to pick up my 0:13:08.200 --> 0:13:11.400 slot because I can't get it in the hole. Yeah, 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:13.240 because I'm like, it's gross. I don't want to touch 0:13:13.280 --> 0:13:16.640 the bathroom floor. Neither does she, bitch, like clean up. 0:13:16.760 --> 0:13:20.400 Stop leaving paper towels everywhere in these bathrooms. Stop leaving 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:23.280 your piss al over the toilet seat, Stop leaving little 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:25.600 credit pieces. If you don't want to touch the ground 0:13:25.600 --> 0:13:27.440 to pick up a tweet of toiletper get more toilet 0:13:27.480 --> 0:13:29.160 paper and pick it up with it like you're picking 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:31.400 up dog shit. There's a way to do it sanitarily. 0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:35.120 Just start being and for men nicer. Stop spitting your 0:13:35.160 --> 0:13:37.839 gum in the urinal. That's maybe one of the worst things. 0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:40.880 Look at any look at any urinal. Go to a 0:13:40.880 --> 0:13:43.880 football stadium and look at a urinal and men will 0:13:43.880 --> 0:13:46.240 spit gum in the urinal, and that I've heard from 0:13:46.280 --> 0:13:50.000 people on interviews or something when they interview the cleaning people. Sure, yeah, 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:54.080 post yeah, they say that the worst possible thing is 0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:56.680 when someone spits gum in the urinal because it's like 0:13:56.679 --> 0:13:59.120 impossible to get out and it just ruins everything. If 0:13:59.160 --> 0:14:01.320 it gets into the drain, forget about it, then they 0:14:01.360 --> 0:14:03.040 have to replace the entire urine. 0:14:03.080 --> 0:14:05.040 I think gum is probably a scourge on this planet. 0:14:05.240 --> 0:14:05.560 Gum. 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:07.600 Yeah, yeah, it's just like you know, it's all over 0:14:07.640 --> 0:14:11.760 the sidewalks. It just like creates this little black mass cigarettes. 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:14.320 It's like at least you can pick them up. Gum. 0:14:14.320 --> 0:14:16.040 It's just like you just keep it there until it 0:14:16.160 --> 0:14:17.320 wears away, and. 0:14:17.240 --> 0:14:19.480 It's just like you gets stuck on your shoe. It's 0:14:19.320 --> 0:14:21.200 that's like one of the worst things that can happen 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:21.840 to a human being. 0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:25.400 It's just it's so bad. I quit. I quit chewing gum. 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:29.680 Just just you suck, just your cough trot. 0:14:29.960 --> 0:14:31.720 But it's really it's good for people who are trying 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:34.560 to avoid eating. People love gut, Like I used to 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:37.760 eat gum, try to like to instead of Yeah, and 0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:40.920 I was addicted to it and I quit I think 0:14:40.960 --> 0:14:44.000 five years ago. And it the one thing about quitting gum. 0:14:44.040 --> 0:14:45.800 First of all, it's like you just have to learn 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:49.840 to just figure something out to do with your body 0:14:49.840 --> 0:14:51.320 when you're not chewing gum all the time, because some 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:53.400 people are are addicted to gum. 0:14:53.440 --> 0:14:53.760 For sure. 0:14:53.800 --> 0:14:55.640 It's like a cigarette, you know, it's like, yeah, the 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:56.880 meal's over, I'm putting in gum. 0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:59.240 It's like resetting better than a cigarette. 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:00.200 Yeah. 0:15:00.200 --> 0:15:01.960 Again, that's what when science needs to do. You need 0:15:02.000 --> 0:15:03.920 to invent gum that you can chew and then when 0:15:03.920 --> 0:15:07.280 it's done, you can just eat it. You can swallow it. Yeah, 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:08.280 people people do. 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:11.440 People do do that. But also you would just like 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:13.800 it would have to change, like. 0:15:13.760 --> 0:15:15.920 The way that gum you just want to swallow it. 0:15:15.600 --> 0:15:18.720 If there's got to be a switch, you can pray 0:15:18.880 --> 0:15:20.920 you what you can do? You can it comes a 0:15:20.920 --> 0:15:23.640 little powder packet and you undo the powder packet and 0:15:23.640 --> 0:15:24.120 then you drink. 0:15:24.240 --> 0:15:26.600 Think is anything worse than undoing a powder packet? But 0:15:26.680 --> 0:15:28.400 like when you jump those in your waters, like it 0:15:28.480 --> 0:15:31.200 gets everywhere you look, there's coke. 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:31.560 On the table. 0:15:32.720 --> 0:15:34.640 Yeah, we gotta go to break we have so much. 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:42.240 We're back so it's the new year, and you know, 0:15:42.280 --> 0:15:43.760 we did this last year, and I think we should 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:47.160 do it again. What are the things not not resolutions 0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:49.840 per se? But last time we did? What are the 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:54.360 things we want to not do? That way, you can't 0:15:54.400 --> 0:15:58.080 fail unless you do it. Well, yeah, that's they're like 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:01.440 the reverse resolutions we talked about. Remember this reverse resolutions 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:03.840 from last year? I don't remember now, Yeah, I barely 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:06.720 remember it. Can't even articulate it. Yeah, but it was like, 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:09.480 here are the thing, here are five things I will 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:11.560 not do in the year twenty twenty five. 0:16:11.600 --> 0:16:13.240 Oh interesting, Okay, I like this. 0:16:13.320 --> 0:16:16.840 And like, obviously like smoking cigarettes or something's impossible, but 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:22.200 like you can say, like I am definitely not going 0:16:22.320 --> 0:16:29.720 to binge watch an entire season of a show in 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:34.120 one day, Okay, something like that, it's easier to accomplish. 0:16:34.440 --> 0:16:35.680 Okay, I think I've got one. 0:16:35.840 --> 0:16:38.960 Yeah, do you have one? No? Okay, I haven't thought 0:16:38.960 --> 0:16:39.480 about this at all. 0:16:39.520 --> 0:16:41.480 After the TMZ thing, I was like, you know, what 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:44.160 would we make this? What would have made my heart 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:46.560 not sink? And I've talked about this a million times. 0:16:46.600 --> 0:16:48.640 Gossip is just such a great way to connect if 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:50.760 you don't have anything else to connect with someone over 0:16:50.880 --> 0:16:54.880 and you are lacking in creativity. If you're lacking in 0:16:54.920 --> 0:16:57.680 a real connection, it's like a fake connection based on 0:16:58.000 --> 0:17:00.200 needing to shit on someone else in it. Like and 0:17:00.240 --> 0:17:04.320 it also creates the I know, people who I talk 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:06.760 shit with talk shit about me. There's no question in 0:17:06.800 --> 0:17:08.480 my mind it makes me feel a little unsafe to 0:17:08.520 --> 0:17:10.919 ever be truly authentic with them, even though I'm not 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:15.000 like very cognizant, Like I'm not like it's subconscious, but 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:17.639 I just I would like to be a person that, 0:17:18.760 --> 0:17:21.399 you know, like my friend, like my friend Rick Lastman, 0:17:21.480 --> 0:17:23.600 if one time I tried to talk shit about someone 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:25.800